#should I tag this as anti? I'm going to
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CEO tim drake I despise you in ways unknown to mankind
#who decided it was a good idea to make a rich white skater boi™ literally the most unspecial character ever the CEO of the Wayne industries#literally no one would have agreed to it#it's worse than coffee addiction and computer genius combined#should I tag this as anti? I'm going to#anti tim drake#dc#it just the irritation got too much
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Angel should have fallen in love with Giles.
Think about it. Angel was WAY too old for Buffy, and the fact that he preyed on an underage girl damaged his character in an unnecessary way. Giles is age appropriate. Sure, he's not 200+, but he's in his forties, which is reasonably mature in human years. Giles had already grown up and had had other sexual and romantic relationships. I don't think that there would be an emotional power difference age wise. Angel should have been a mentor to Buffy, which would have given him something to connect with Giles over. They're both also highly intelligent bookworms(I'll fight anyone who calls Angel dumb; he has a photographic memory and knows several languages, the fact that he has blind spots and isn't always smart about every single thing doesn't take away from that), and I bet Giles would love to hear about all the historical events that Angel was there for, and all the things he knows about other cultures. Angel would be very intrigued to learn all the things Giles knows about Slayers and demons from the Watcher's archives, and whatever other knowledge Giles might have accrued in his life. I can also see them liking the same music.
Giles could have given Angel his moment of perfect happiness, and Buffy would still have had a hard time killing Angelus because of how much Angel meant to Giles, and because Angel had been a mentor to her that she admired and cared for like Giles. It could have been Giles who killed Angel at the end of s2. Buffy could have fought him until right before Angelus got his soul back, but she gets knocked out, and Giles intervenes right before Angelus kills her, but then he's reensouled. And it's Giles who has to make the heartbreaking choice of killing him.
Then when Angel comes back in s3, Buffy still keeps it from Giles because she's afraid of how much it would wreck him emotionally, and she's also afraid that Giles might accidentally give Angel his moment of perfect happiness again and she doesn't want that to happen. Angel still leaves at the end of s3 because he also doesn't want to risk somehow achieving a moment of perfect happiness without sex, just from a moment of deep love, and he can't bear the thought of all the pain Angelus would cause, especially to the man he loves.
It would have been an interesting romance is all I'm saying.
#man I just totally rewrote the series in my head and it was BETTER#buffy the vampire slayer#rupert giles#angel btvs#Angelus#buffy au#giles x angel#Angel x Giles#what's their ship name?#gangel#angiles#I don't like either of them#whatever#should I tag this anti bangel?#I'm gonna go ahead and tag it#anti bangel#just in case#Buffy meta#Giles meta#Angel meta#my meta#Angel is smart
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[Source link]
Uhm.??
🤢🤢🤢
Every single interview I read from this guy just intensifies the ick vibes.
He wants to keep Buck as innocent as possible??? Way to infantilize a 30 something. Buck isn't "innocent" . Buck has experienced emotional neglect (abuse!) at the hands of his parents, physical and mental neglect both on and off the job, and - newsflash! - just because it took him until now to figure out that he isn't straight, doesn't mean he's never been affected by homophobia or biphobia. And if Tommy disregards all of that and is only dating Buck because Buck is "innocent" in his eyes, then Tommy doesn't love him. Tommy fetishizes him, either because of the age gap or because Buck is a baby bi, or maybe both. Icky!!!
Also. Tommy leaves Buck because of "how bad it is dating Tommy"? Huh? So why does he tell Buck that Buck will end up breaking Tommy's heart and not the other way around? Did we watch the same episode? Or has it just been so long since they filmed it all the way back in September that Mr. LFJr just doesn't remember the scene?
The last paragraph is the best one, though. That just reads like straight up gaslighting. Tommy didn't dump Buck because Buck sent a "full on firing range of assault of bad words" (???) at Tommy. Buck wanted to get serious and Tommy bailed on him. Ah yes, true love.
"It's so sad." I agree, Mr. Nepo Baby. It is so sad how so many people spend their actual hard earned money on word vomit like this.
#What a weirdo!!!!!!!#Ew!!!#I have the bucktommy tag blocked but someone should go check on them after this#I'm afraid they're probably eating it up#anti tommy kinard#anti bucktommy#anti lou ferrigno jr#buddie#911 spoilers#anti lfj#Anti lfjr
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The Heart of a Jedi
It is a common belief in the galaxy that the Jedi are not permitted to love. Silently, some people mourn the children given to the Jedi, believing they will be brainwashed to hide their emotions and be unable to love. Disdainfully, some parents who don't wish to give their children to the Order claim that their children will never know love if they are taken in by the Order.
But love is a word with many connotations. How can a Jedi affirm or deny such accusations when they may be working with widely different definitions of the same word? When beings can mean any number of disparate emotions, many compatible with their way or life and many others contradictions of their code, values and vows?
The Jedi do not claim love is forbidden to them. How could they, with what love means to them? Saying love is allowed is misleading, and saying it's encouraged severely understates how important love is to them.
Love is essential, central to a Jedi's life. One cannot be a Jedi if they are devoid of love.
The Jedi do not claim that love is forbidden to them, as they share an ideal of kindness and compassion for all forms of life.
How could they strive towards this without love, as they understand it? Not affection, necessarily, for a Jedi must be compassionate even towards those they dislike. Rather, a deep respect for life, an attempt to understand it and its connections, and an endless drive to reduce suffering where they can.
That, to a Jedi, is love.
A Jedi must love everybody. They love the starving, the abused and the slaves of the galaxy, because they need their help. They love pirates, slavers, and corrupt politicians, when they dislike and want to stop them.
They even love the Sith.
But for many beings in the galaxy, that is not enough. For many beings in the galaxy, that is not love. And as long as the Jedi reject the cruel thing the galaxy calls love, that grasps and steals and demands to own, long as the Jedi accept the inevitability of death, the futility of holding on to what is not meant to be held, there will be those that call the Jedi loveless.
How sad, a Jedi would say, to be unable to conceive love without cruelty.
#jedi appreciation#jedi code#love vs attachment#love without attachment#attachment isn't love#pro jedi#pro jedi order#jedi and clone troopers#jedi can and in fact SHOULD love#people just don't get love without possessiveness#and the Jedi aren't wrong in practicing non-attachment#If we define attachment like Star Wars does then I'd argue we all should let our attachments go#If my blog's name and the nature of the post and the previous tags didn't give you a clue…#i am completely and shamelessly pro jedi#and I will tolerate exactly zero anti jedi sentiments in my corner of the internet#the pictures were chosen deliberately btw#the Jedi are being kind and compassionate towards clones and droids (aka the least valued members of GFFA society)#I have more pictures where those came from but unfortunately this is supposed to be a short post and I've reached the picture limit#jedi positivity#in defense of the jedi#if the Jedi have no fans then I'm dead#star wars
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And isn't this a telling line.
I know why Lenore says this. It's very clear, and it weighs on her, that she is seen as the weak link of the Styria council. The others keep her around because of her diplomatic skills, but they don't really respect her as a person: we even see the others constantly making fun of her behind her back (Carmilla mocks her for her penchant for caring about animals, Striga implies that Lenore is saccharinely romantic, Morana accuses her of "being off with the fairies"), and if she has really eavesdropped Striga's proposal to hire mercenaries, surely she has heard them dismissing her strategy of "adopting" Hector, which might have been the reason she rushed things with the ring. So yes, her sentiment is understandable: her own friends don't seem to care about her, so she leans on Hector, the only one in the castle who listens to her woes like she's a person and not just a problem-solver.
This is, as per usual with Lenore, highly hypocritical on her part, because she too keeps Hector around but doesn't care about him as a person.
The common conception is that, by S4, Lenore stopped treating Hector like an animal and started to see him as a person, and this is why, only six weeks after effectively raping him into slavery, Hector is so chill with her and even does his best to protect her regardless of his own life. The two have off-screen organically grown to care about each other, perhaps bonding about their positions as the unfavorites: this is what Hector choosing to be with Lenore even after cutting off the ring symbolizes, that he's no longer bound to her by force but sincerely.
But think back on their two major scenes in S4 before the turning point of episode 6.
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What are they about? Ignoring the stupid dick jokes, what is the function of both scenes?
Lenore venting about her issues. About how she feels pushed to the side, how she feels useless, how she doesn't see a place for herself in the world Carmilla wants to build, how Carmilla is overreaching which worries Lenore because they'll lose the stability she has worked for, how Carmilla might have lied to her. She even reveals her tragic childhood out of nowhere lmao.
Do you notice what it's missing?
Hector.
Oh, he's physically present. He sasses back because we need to establish them as a couple, but he also asks genuine questions to Lenore ("Are they sidelining you?"), and wants to listen to her. He even attempts a little connection with his "Just like Dracula lied to me," showing empathy.
But do you see Lenore ever asking about how Hector's doing? You know, since she raped a slave ring into his hand and now he's trapped in a castle he didn't want to be in, working for people who have at best ignored him and worst have hurt him in all sorts of ways?
How about asking if he's enjoying the castle? How about asking what is he doing when not working? I'm not even demanding she'd do something as outrageous as asking him if the ring is hurting or expressing any regret that it has to be between them when they get along so well, just fucking be invested in the guy the story is trying so hard to convince me that you care about! Hector has empathy for her, but it sure isn't reciprocated!
It becomes all the more egregious when you remember that Lenore did ask about Hector's desires and life at some point. When she had to manipulate him in S3! Do you realize how utterly scummy this looks? Much like her losing any sign of sexual interest in him once he got out of his cell and gained a shred of attitude, it really looks like Lenore only pretended to be attracted to him physically and mentally to get something out of him, but now that she has managed to trap him and got a good dicking, she won't bother to put in the effort!
Yes, learning about Lenore's inner turmoil is important to establish the rest of the subplot: the sisters losing faith in Carmilla, Lenore being so devastated by Hector's scheming that she'd rather kill herself, all the good stuff. But I think the priority should have been, you know, the victim here.
Well, we know how Lenore reacted the only time Hector expressed any resentment over his condition...
You know this was coming 🙂 the clip I linked may have conveniently cut this exchange, but I, unlike the fandom, am not ignoring this little part.
I want you to take a good, hard look at Lenore's expression, and tell me that she feels any remorse for what she has done. At best, she believes he's just whining for no good reason - why would he, when he lives in a nice castle, gets to do what he likes, and even got good pussy? Oh, silly Hector, joking around like that. At worst, she looks offended to be called out like that, because he's breaking the nice façade they have going on. And considering that the ring is objectively a failure because it barely does what it was meant to do, this only gives credit to my interpretation that she's pissy that her master plan didn't work as she imagined and only made things worse. It's not about how Hector feels, it's about her pride in her skills.
This line is, conceptually, a continuation of her tendency to throw off responsibility off her back to blame anyone but herself, and most imporantly this sentiment:
"You're not a real person, Hector. Stop complaining, and be thankful for what I give you. You can stand there looking pretty, like a good boy, and do nice things for me, but you're not allowed to express yourself: you'll make me look bad."
Tell me again how much she changed after the timeskip?
(and no, I don't believe Lenore was lying in this scene to play tough with the others. As much as I like the idea of her pretending to be evil to "fit in" a group of cruel vampires, this giddy, dehumanizing behavior is supported in other scenes where no one is around. There is, instead, enough proof to support the theory that Lenore resorted to forcing the ring on Hector instead of continuing with her manipulations because she got offended that Striga underestimated her methods, again fitting with her touchiness over being seen as "weak" or soft. It's about, once again, her pride.)
As the cherry on top, the line I quoted at the very beginning? Directly follows this. Lenore dismisses her rape of Hector, Hector concedes the point and urges her to keep talking about her woes, and she thanks him for wanting to listen to her. The very same thing she vehemently refused to do for him. Lenore angrily shuts down Hector when he tries to express himself in a way that would make her feel bad, but rewards him with appreciation when he acquiesces and makes her feel cared for. If this isn't an encapsulation of their dynamic, I don't know what is.
So let's move on before I spontaneously combust, because I'm not done! Have you ever noticed something interesting in the scene where Lenore, during Isaac's assault, decides that saving Hector's life has higher priority than helping her old friend Carmilla? Aww, see? How cute, she cares about him! She loves him more than she loves her asshole besties! And you know, in a vacuum, yes, this is the closest thing to a selfless act she does: she doesn't just think of saving her own ass, but her first thought is protecting Hector, a vulnerable human she has grown to care about.
Or does she?
Yeah, there's a problem with that.
Lenore doesn't even mention the slave ring. The first time the ring is included in this scene, is when Hector explains matter-of-factly to Isaac that he cannot command his Night Creatures to stand down, because "command and control flows through me to Lenore here and to her friends". You would think that removing the ring so that Hector can go outside the castle would have been her first thought, right? No. She doesn't care. And while I could simply say that the writing is shit and it's trying so hard to make us forget how that ring found its way on Hector's hand...
... from a character standpoint she looks really bad, because this would have been a great opportunity to show that she no longer wants Hector as her pet, but as a true lover! Nope. The ring, of which she was reminded of a few days prior, is not a issue for her. She needs him to be dependent on her. And when he cuts his own finger by himself, she can't handle the loss of power.
Because there's also her suicide! Or, to be more precise, her verbal suicide note.
TvTropes phrases her as killing herself out of guilt:
I would love to see how they came to this interpretation, considering Lenore makes it all about, guess what? Herself:
I don't see any "I'm sorry for what I put you through. I believe your life will be better off without me keeping you chained here." Now that would show "severe guilt", not a shitty "welp, things have happened". No, she sounds so damn flippant no wonder her fans see this as an OOC decision. But even in the best interpretation I can give, she killed herself out of her abject failure at keeping the council together, and because Hector, who was also responsible for taking her queen life away from her (not that she points it out), made her realize that this is all her existence will amount to, even long after he and Isaac will be dead (which is why the latter shouldn't even factor into her choice: in the grand scheme of things that she has just finished talking about, he doesn't matter, he's going to die in 40 years or so).
Hector is nowhere near her thoughts, except for a quick "I'm sorry I can't be here to help you through… whatever comes next", appended there like an afterthought, but still expressing the sentiment that Lenore would rather leave Hector alone because she feels too sorry for herself to even bear sticking around for a few more decades, which are nothing for a centuries-old vampire.
By the way, what concerns her about her vampiric power is not that she'll cause harm to people, but that she'll always crave more power and end up losing her mind like Carmilla, which means her existence will inevitably lead to feeling miserable. It's all about her, again.
Back to the point, that very line, that overly dismissing non-apology, shows how little Lenore is concerned about Hector's feelings: he wanted to be with her, even after cutting the finger where she forced the slave ring on him, really you couldn't have a purer declaration of love - and her response is basically "well I don't, bye". Girl even says, verbatim, that Carmilla's desire for power "ruined her life", as if Hector had been living in paradise ever since Carmilla barged her way into his life while looking for power. Isaac, of all people, had the decency to ask about how Hector's faring without a finger, while she, the very reason Hector had to mutilate himself, doesn't, because she's too busy drinking her sorrows away, because only her sorrows matter - when Hector cut off his finger, her main reaction was despair that she lost power over him and Isaac was now free to kill Carmilla. It's really hard to feel sorry for her suicidal intentions when she sounds and behaves so dismissively, and her suicide feels less like dictated by despair and more like she's running away from the consequences of her actions or, worse, from a few decades of a less than comfortable life.
And I'm supposed to be touched that she decides to look at Hector rather than the sun? It rings hollow, like many emotional moments in the show when it wants to wring tears out of you without putting in the necessary effort to build the necessary context - but unlike Dracula's "I'm killing my boy", which is simply less effective due to lack of concrete proof that he used to be a good father to Alucard, Lenore's final act feels like an active mockery after everything I pointed out.
(at least Lenore asks Hector "What will you do?" before sunning herself. This is the most interest she has ever shown in him as a person. Right before killing herself, something she knows will cause him grief, and after, as I mentioned, confirming she's not willing to support him anyway. peak romance)
So let's recap. How does Lenore show care for Hector? He keeps him in nice living conditions, as she promised: he can walk all around the castle, wear fancy clothes, do the work he likes, talk with other people, he's doing perfectly fine. She relies on him for emotional support, showing a modicum of trust. She's concerned for his safety: she "protects" him from Carmilla's ire at his stalling, and most noticeably she chooses to go to him and attempt to flee together instead of going to Carmilla when Isaac storms the castle. However, she shows no concern about his emotional state, dumping her own issues on him because he "listens to her", while never reciprocating the favor, and never entertaining the thought of going against her sisters and freeing Hector of the ring that makes their relationship forced and impure.
He's her pet. After all this time, Hector is still her damn pet: just because she doesn't call him "good boy" while on a leash anymore, doesn't mean the attitude has changed. Sure, you make sure your dog has all the comforts it needs, you might vent to it when you come home from a grueling day at work, and you make sure it doesn't run into traffic, but it's not like you're particularly interested in your dog's opinions or its life, right?
Everything, and I do mean everything Lenore does, ever since being introduced, screams of deep self-centeredness and lack of empathy. She only cares about herself, what she's going through, her status, her objectives, being respected, and most importantly having the upper hand in any situation. And she will trample over anything to get what she wants, and she will fold when she doesn't. I have shown more than enough proof of this. Her supposed "love for animals" is a mask to look, or feel, better than she is: and she will outright ignore any proof she is not as good as she believes to be.
tl;dr: Lenore is still loving Hector like a vampire would. I said it many times, but it bears repeating.
I genuinely love this line. I have quoted it many times. It is a very good interpretation of the way predators and abusers love, which is what vampires are. And I understand that the show didn't have the time to elaborate on this, but through Lenore, it could have given us so much food for thought.
Is Lenore really the kindest she could be? She took pity on Hector when he was dragged in the castle, she found a way to make him useful (in theory) despite her sisters' skepticism therefore allowing him to live, she kept her word when she promised him a comfortable life (and hopefully forgot about her promise to use him as a sex slave, the story conveniently ignores it), she relies on him for emotional support, and in the end she actively shows that he wants him to be safe from any harm. For someone like Hector, used to nothing but pain and rejection, these crumbs would look like a feast. But is this love? Do they even care about each other as people, or are they only each other's emotional crutches? Can you ask for more? Could Lenore do more? Are all the cruel, humiliating actions she took in S3 justifiable or understandable or forgivable due to her nature? Is she self-centered because she's a vampire, and therefore all she did is really her best love language, and this is why Hector, who has a similar love language shown in him reanimating dead animals to bind them to him through magic, never held all her previous abuse against her; or is she self-centered as a person, a flaw she never overcame, and Hector should seek the love he craves from someone else? Or, better yet, stop craving love, since it only made him suffer?
How human can she truly be? If she's nothing more than a vampire, then yes, what she did to Hector can only be read through the lens of a different species loving in a different way, but that would reduce her to the level of an unintelligent animal unable to rise above her instincts, and it would mean her efforts to be better than her species were for nothing. If she is more than a vampire like she so desperately wants to be, committing to the human values of pacifism and diplomacy that her kind scoffs at, then her behavior is as human as a toxic human can be, and condemnable.
Even better, Dracula of all people refutes Carmilla's claim. Carmilla herself mocked Dracula because he did what no vampire does with their human lover: he let Lisa free to go as she pleased, instead of turning her into a vampire or chaining her to the castle. Carmilla, used to men who take things from women, saw it as proof he didn't actually care about his "pet", but we as humans see it as genuine respect. Sure, after Lisa's death Dracula's brand of love is even more destructive than normal and his very plan of destroying mankind is disrespecting her memory, but not only the two had natural mutual chemistry when they just met, Dracula effectively loves like a human would. A severely unhinged human, but still, he never expresses the idea that he saw Lisa as his property. In this sense, Lenore doesn't go beyond the limits of her own species.
The show doesn't need to give us precise answers, but these questions do fit the general themes of the story, and they should have been hinted at.
But instead, we are meant to take Lenore's "goodness" at face value, with zero conflict. We know this, because Hector barely expresses himself in S4.
There is a noticeable lack of internal turmoil in him, and with all the screentime he got, most notably the montage in S4E2, he could have shown it. Imagine if he had developed the tic of fiddling with the ring: after six weeks, he still can't get used to this foreign object stuck on his finger (this would also be foreshadowing for his decision to cut it). Imagine if, in the library, we had a scene of him glimpsing outside, and then glancing at the ring, implying that he feels the desire to escape but knowing that he's trapped. Imagine a scene where, while bantering, he reaches for Lenore with his ringed hand, the scene putting an uncomfortable focus on it. Sure, they might be sassing and bantering and exchanging dick jokes, but it's an awkward, fragile façade, a warm genuine relationship all but made impossible by Lenore's past callousness.
Instead, the season politely removes any reminder that Hector has been living as a glorified slave after being intimately betrayed and dehumanized by someone he had grown to care about. Aside from not even forcing him to obey orders, the ring only briefly activates when he forges a Night Creature, and it looks like it hurts, but Hector doesn't linger on it because he has to take care of the creature: he doesn't express any sort of emotion over the fact that the sisters have taken even this one pleasure from him. And, as I said in the first part, he never speaks about himself with Lenore, because she's the only one who matters. There is no on-screen struggle to reconcile the Lenore who chooses to talk to him over her sisters, which indicates a moderate amount of intimacy, and the Lenore who smirked at his agony when she betrayed him mid-sex. One could think that he was mellowed out because he learned that Lenore is acting as a shield against Carmilla's anger, proving to him that she cares... but he learns it on-screen, six weeks after becoming their slave, therefore not explaining his friendly attitude with her in the dick jokes scene.
In fact, the one time he even dares to challenge Lenore for the cruel way she "solved his problem", he gets told more or less "you got your dick hard and wet so you have no right to complain," and he quietly relents to allow her to finish her sad vent, in what is clearly framed as wholesome banter. And, as an extra kick in the balls, he is appreciated for giving her the chance to keep complaining. This is what passes as ship tease! How isn't this enough proof that he, as a person, has never mattered, not just for Lenore but the story as a whole?
This one gesture is the closest time he gets to show inner turmoil, and it's still framed as character development for Lenore's sake, not his. That stump is the symbol of all the hardships Hector went through: he is giving Lenore the freedom that she herself took from him, that he had to regain by mutilating himself. Does he show any sign of being torn over this irony? No. This is nothing more than a romantic gesture. Hector grew more than Lenore did, but only enough for the show to paint her in the best light.
After all, unlike Isaac who was able to articulate how much he has come to appreciate life and how he's willing to live fully because he is a person worth living for himself, when Hector is asked what he wants, his answer is "I want to be left alone with Lenore" while looking with guilt and concern at his still bleeding stump. Hector's only desire is to soothe Lenore's hurt feelings like he has been doing ever since she raped him into a position of pet. This could have been painted as the depressing sign that Hector still hasn't grown from his instinct to crawl back towards the people who hurt him, or even as the result of his past tortures making him lose his will to live, and being confused on what to do with his life now that Isaac is giving him a second chance. But his emotions don't matter. This is meant to be seen as the proof that he loves Lenore so much, he wants her even without the binding of the ring.
A light criticism I have often read about Lenector in S4 is that they should have shown mending their relationship after Lenore's "scheme" (which is a nice word for what she did). My question is, why? Why can't it be treated like the Moral Event Horizon it is? Lenore doesn't show any sign that she was coerced into it or reluctant, and as I have proven there is zero regret in her actions and words. Lenore was a complacent part of the council, an important part even: unlike what the "Just the way Dracula lied to [Hector]" implies, Lenore was never tricked into collaborating by Carmilla, she was more than happy to help, and the sentiment she expresses in S4 is not "wow I did some fucked up shit for my sisters' sake" but "this plan is starting to feel inconvenient to me". Her kindness is hollow, and if Hector forgave her and slotted her in his category of "good people", it's only because his standards for basic decency are below hell, something that the show never addresses or lets him grow out of, only mocks him for.
To prove my point, there was the easiest compromise between "Hector setting the castle on fire and smashing Carmilla's and Lenore's skull with his hammer", which would have been cathartic but overall a sign of negative development, and him blithely loving his abuser: make him leave. Make him grow from a manchild hidden from the world to a brave man willing to face the world. Make him spare Lenore's life as appreciation for how she took care of him when no one would, but decide that he deserves better than what a vampire can give him.
But no, he isn't even granted this much dignity: his last shot in the entire series is him standing heartbroken next to Lenore's remains, stuck in the same castle Lenore forced him in, with no plans to build himself a better life (only writing a book about "his mistakes", which just feels spiteful at this point - he regrets his stupidity more than Isaac regrets the blood of innocents on his hands), with nothing left in his life isaac and whatever tentative friendship they could build doesn't count because hector routinely forgets about his existence because he only wanted to be with Lenore and he couldn't even have that. Fucking Dracula got a much more saccharine ending than he deserved.
But narrative cruelty aside, Hector's entire character revolves around Lenore, who in turn revolves around herself.
This is a profound narrative failure, from multiple angles. This is why I say that Hector effectively stops being a character in S3: his emotions and desires no longer matter unless it's for torture porn or painting him as stupid. This is why I cannot take seriously his big badass "redeeming" moment in S4E6, on top of him regressing morally and effectively only aiding Isaac who has hogged all the spotlight: he may have become smarter, but he doesn't have any significant character development. This is why I don't see the poignancy of him forgiving Lenore for taking advantage of him in the worst way she could have, or of him letting her go when she chooses death over him: it only looks like the same lack of spine that has fucked him over ever since his introduction (he could have trapped Lenore out of cruel mercy, but it's clear that it's just good-hearted mercy). This is why I don't see Lenore as a "good", nuanced person who went through character development and should have ended the story marrying Hector: she has depth (shown too little too late, but it's there), but it's completely negative depth, because the more I look inside her, the viler she gets.
And this could have been great! We could have had such a gripping story about the intricacies of abuse, how it's not just a man beating a woman, but yes it's made also of good parts, your abuser can still do good to you and you still deserve better than those scraps. Lenore and Hector's relationship could have been an intriguing discussion on morality, or the lack thereof, about the nuances of abuse and "kindness", the torn mixed feelings between anger and attachment, how being "human" doesn't mean being "good". In a well written story, Lenector would be one hell of a toxic, co-dependent relationship, built on necessity, shared misery, lies, mistrust, mutual harm, power games, and the eventual realization that they can only thrive if kept apart - if Lenore can even thrive, as a cursed undead doomed to only bring misery to the world and herself.
But S4 needed to be fluffy because S3 was the edgiest shit a 14 yo could write, and in its desperate attempt to write Lenector as yet another sassy cute couple like every straight couple in NFCV, the squandered potential and eagerness to forget about all the uncomfortable parts of their story in S3 becomes actively offensive, and I will never, ever understand what everyone sees in them, to the point that the arguments that Lenore is actually a good loving person honestly worry me.
There is a good story here, with a good villain and complex psychology. It's not the story presented on-screen, which is simplified, dishonest, and disgusting.
#anti netflixvania#long post#very long post#the more i link to old posts the more i realize i keep going in circles#i'm sorry! i keep finding better ways to express myself!#also again i am so very tempted to tag the ship to attract a conversation#but i guess it would be mean#i really should tag these anti l/h posts for reference but eh#anyway. can you understand why i am clinically insane over this#can you understand why i feel real anger#Youtube
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Found a council meeting WIP I started April 2018 that still makes me laugh.
#Fairly OddParents#FOP#Head Pixie#Anti-Cosmo#FAIRIES!#ridwriting#I'm wasp dad trash#The bat with the hat#Liquidation#Cupid is neat and I should write him more#Oh gosh that's his actual blog tag#There's a WIP in my files about A.C. and A.W. going on vacation and Foop stows away (July 2019) and I'm like “Why didn't I finish this? :(”#There's another in here where A.C. does a deep-dive into why H.P. doesn't just kill him and tbh it's so funny...#Like have u considered you're not actually that annoying?
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didn't wanna reblog from them bc holy shit. are they saying ppl that like kodocon/adult x child are pedos?? i genuinely can't tell
also pedophilia isn't a kink and saying that is so dangerous and gross, it's a paraphilia, and classified as such for a reason. i hate these kinds of people
ALSO wtf is a chrono kid? you mean a child?? fictional characters ≠ real kids WHY ARE WE CONFLATING THE TWO
#i'm not trying to harass them. nor do i hate them. but i wanted to talk abt this post#i'm pro para TO A DEGREE (i don't think thought crimes should be punished) BUT#i'm pro paraphile (individual) not paraphilia (disorder) if that makes sense? idk i can elaborate if anyone wants me to#either way this is not the way to go about it#i'm gonna tag as proship just bc of the mention of lolisho but. it's nothing to do w being proship imo#proship#proshippers please interact#anti radqueer#🏁🎸
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Life is hard! Consider buying my stuff!
My life isn't quite falling apart, but things have gotten really tricky lately. One housemate (and their super destructive, permanent houseguest) is refusing to pay their share of rent or utilities for the next three months, and another is refusing to pay their full share of rent for that same amount of time and is making us cover around $75 every month, and I'm having to double-up my hours at work while still being a full-time student (and also one of my professors, who we're 99% sure is using ChatGPT to generate her citations because none of them exist and we pointed this out, hates my guts and has been grading me really harshly and forcing me to go full-sail on every assignment to ridiculous degrees in order to pass this required class).
My spouse is working on getting full-time at their job, but it looks like they won't be able to until December, and we also have no idea how much rent is going to increase this year-- my guess is it's going to go up another $500, same as last year, to a total of $3,000, so things are gonna get really fucking bumpy until around January, probably.
So basically, if you like the work I've done, consider throwing me a tip on Ko-Fi or buying my stuff on Itch.io:
(Also I promise we have more stuff lined up that we want to polish and publish, life has just been super-duper fucking busy! There is so much more going on right now than what I've mentioned here, especially in terms of surprise medical bills and other horrible surprises. And we haven't forgotten about Inky Paws issue 2, either, which we're still hoping to have done by December and which will STILL always be entirely 100% free to download, no matter what our living or money situation looks like. That will never ever change, so please don't worry!)
#personal#yells#one of the surprise medical bills was MY TOOTH FUCKIN BROKE#I need to get a whole ass crown!!! wtf I'm anti-monarchy this should be illegal to happen to me#there are other surprise medical bills too but that's the one I'm most like are you FUCKIN srs rn#I love dentists and I think they're the coolest so it's like not scary or anything it's just. it's SO EXPENSIVE.#All the other bills should be at around $600 or below but this definitely won't even with insurance and I'm like whyyyyyyy#I should have gotten the crown like a week or two ago but I literally just cannot afford it rn so I'm trying to just be careful#with the patch the dentist put on it a month or so ago....#sorry I'm just using the tags to SCREAM at this point like oh my god guys#you would not believe some of the bullshit that is going on rn#My housemate's permanent guest? it's their partner with assault charges#Who kidnapped a cat#Burned their last place of residency down#Bite and shanked their mother at 5am while she was asleep in her bedroom#And got my housemate arrested on false charges last year for funsies#And jumped off my roof#And brings stray animals in the house#And makes the hugest messes in the kitchen and living room without cleaning them up#(And I think she's a local drug dealer but that's more just a DO IT IN YOUR OWN FUCKING HOUSE AND NOT MINE thing)#So the whooooole polycule is on high alert that this person is gonna go off the rails and hurt people/pets at any time#I'm so unbelievably stressed out and worried about my cat especially#And like. I have PTSD dudes! This is so unimaginably fucking awful for my mental health!#If it weren't for my support system I would be in PIECES right now. I am so lucky to have partners and friends who care.#Also if some of that list sounds Weirdly Familiar to you it's because I wrote a fictional AITA post for NaNoWriMo '21 based on some of it#Yeah THAT is how long this stuff has been going on and what I've listed here is only Tip Of The Iceberg#Those two people will be gone by the end of November but oh my god I'm so stressed about retaliation and shit#The housemate in question tried to deflect by being like-- oh well she was just off her antipsychotics!#Like dude I don't know how to break this to you but. 1) that's a reason but not a justification for her behavior#2) She's an awful and horrible person both on and off her meds so obviously it is not the sole fault of her psychosis
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I think this is how I'd like Arcane S2 to go based on what the fandom and LOL players have posted so far on socmed and other media sharing sites (and if I miss any plot point, my apologies, I'm neither watching it off Netflix or the pirate's bay).
For starters, S2 would open with a timeskip. Both Piltover and Zaun are in a mess. Neither have their leaders, after all, and potential candidates are currently fighting their way to the top, none strong enough like the previous ones.
Various factions are scrambling to take control over the borders and all known (and secret) passageways between the cities. Jinx is one of the faces at the front. Every Piltovan is out to get her if they can; kill her or turn her in, they'll win political power. She's even more ruthless this time, and she's enjoying the act of killing. It's also as if she wants to find someone strong enough to kill/stop her.
Meanwhile, the Chembarons are fighting for leadership over Zaun, but first of all, they are trying to court Sevika's loyalty. She has the charisma that helps her rally supporters towards anyone she finds fit. They do not know that Jinx is holding her captive exactly because of this. Their second priority is claiming monopoly on shimmer - or making an alternative. Since Silco's gone and Singed is holed up in his lab, production has gone places, and no one's brewed anything better yet.
Ekko has made efforts to support struggling Zaunites, but the Firelights' territory is growing smaller by the day. Thanks to the conflict, he now knows Jinx has survived their fight on the bridge, but he fully regrets having tossed away her bomb. (It is clear that he still struggles to separate Powder from Jinx. This is his actual arc.)
Heimer has started to shed his immortal naivety; now he's actively helping Ekko's community thrive. Particularly he's leading the Firelights in research endeavors. They have a working tonic for shimmer, though still imperfect, so Heimer thinks of sending Ekko and friends to Piltover to make things better.
On the side of Piltover, we have Vi. She's been forced into becoming an enforcer thanks to Caitlyn, who attempted to put her back in jail in grief and rage. Thanks to the conflict, one of the jail guards tattled about Vander and Grayson and Silco and Marcus, then suggested the team-up. Vi initially refused the offer, but she eventually agreed to it, because she has no allies aside from Ekko and she can't wait for him while Jinx is destroying both cities. She keeps on wondering why Vander agreed to acquaint himself with them, as day in and day out she's just assisting Piltovans and fighting Zaunites. A colleague suggests she's better off helping out in Zaun instead, and she punches him.
Caitlyn is exhausted to say the least. She has just buried her mother, Jayce and Mel (and Victor) have disappeared and nobody can say where they've gone, and Noxus is breathing down her neck. At the very least, she does have Ambessa guiding her, even if her words feel demanding. Caitlyn promised to comb all over Piltover and Zaun for Mel to prevent Ambessa from rallying Noxian forces, under the condition that if Caitlyn can't bring the cities to an acceptable state, Noxus is free to take control of both as it pleases. Caitlyn has also accepted Noxians into the military force of Piltover, sent by Ambessa under the guise of searching for Mel.
(And Ambessa is thirsty for blood. She has chosen to hold back for now, for she does worry that little peace-loving Mel might actually die in the crossfire between Noxus and Pilt/Zaun and Ambessa is not willing to go through the loss of a child again this soon. But she is getting impatient, and she is also considering taking the hexcore for herself.)
Overall, the season deals with themes of power and control. Naturally Vi and Jinx meet each other and clash twice or thrice during this leg of the story. But most of all, it's about Vi becoming Vi, much like how Powder became Jinx last season. Even if this doesn't solve all plot threads, it would at least give Vi the center stage to tell her "side" of the story, especially with regards to the Piltover/Zaun conflict.
In fact, I think it'd be great if Caitlyn captures Jinx, but keeps her incarcerated to get a better hold on both Piltover and Zaun and get things in order. As Jinx is lashing out in her cell, crying and screaming and begging to be let out, Vi is there, tearfully apologizing for all her shortcomings as Powder's sister. The series ends with Caitlyn giving some speech to promise a better relationship and system between Piltover and Zaun, then the speech getting interrupted by a jailbreak, one Vi initiates to free Jinx. As chaos again breaks out, Vi apologizes to Vander and grieves the fact that she truly is a bad sister.
I'd prefer letting the LOL players bridging the gaps between Arcane and LOL by themselves since they have better grasp of the lore, and also to help cover some obvious plot holes. Anyway that helped me cope; hope this helped you cope in some way too 💗
#arcane critical#anti arcane#<- tagging since a side of the fandom use these to block stuff that don't support s2 canon#arcane#arcane season 2#i agree many of the named characters were wonderful#but i don't think they should have had a lot of screen time this season#s1 was more like thanks to these players moving things on their own powpow was forced to jinx up#meanwhile vi struggles to solve anything yet and even worsens things. in fact i don't remember what her arc was?#so i think s2 should focus on her#also take my word with lots of salts i never watched arcane properly i just osmosis'd it off the fandom lmao#so anything wrong rubbing you off just laugh it off and go back to the next page or go to the next post#i'm just trying to get my head wrapped around the massive hype and the unsatisfactory actual product#as well as answer some questions i had about s1 as a casual osmosis viewer appreciating the art and animation#oh well
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"i miss drunk kane" yeah uh considering the shit that he'd fucking get into whenever alcohol was involved, I'd rather NOT people miss that era, actually!
#patrick kane#pkaneposting#song:just chatting#song:serious#i don't know what truly happened that day in madison (none of us do)#but that alone should be enough proof on why we uh.. probably shouldn't be celebrating his drunken days#i've seen multiple folks say he's stopped drinking (or atleast limits it)#idk how true it is but if it is true good for him honestly#and because ik someone's gonna try and twist this: I'm not saying alcohol is bad or evil#but alcoholism probably isn't something to celebrate#alcohol tw#<-forgot to tag that. my bad yall#mild edit because apparently this needs to be said: this isn't an anti-kane post nor am i saying he's evil#but he's definitely no saint and i don't want people glorifying his drunken self- especially when it's rumored he has (had?) alcohol issues#and im not going to pretend that he hasnt done inexcusable things; he has.#and just because those behaviors were 'a long time ago' doesn't make it any less wrong
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Ok so
Spoilers for Hotd S2E1
Yay I got alicole, but at what cost?
Seriously I've never read Fire and Blood, but since I'm on Tumblr and Twitter I read Blood and Cheese, all of the excerpts there were around I read it.
It was so sad, and honestly it was terrifying. But in the show? I think the best word would be underwhelming. Not only Alicent was not around (and her being there in the book makes a lot more terrifying) but we had to see Haelena walk right in Alicole.
God I shipp them, but not like this. I would rather not get them than do it like this.
Aegon is finally growing on me, and I loved him hearing the petitions and all, felt like he could be a great king if not for war. I also loved seeing him and Haelena TALKING, honestly we needed more interactions between them and I'm hoping for even more. (Also, maybe they should make Hae go to Aegon instead of walking in her mom getting laid, if they wanted to change it so much)
I have to be honest and say that I like aemond, but I was on his side way more when he was a child, I guess I never got the appeal of older aemond, but I love him just the same (I don't even blame him for calling Alicent a fool, I was thinking the same)
Criston defending Alicent but not saying anything when Aemond called her a fool, only looking at him with the most "Don't say that about your mom even though I agree" dad look. Also asking Alicent to put the clock on him (this is cinema)
I was really sad for Rhaenyra and Jace (also, thank God for whoever suggested to change his hair, it looks a lot better now) and that's all I have to say about the Blacks (Legit wanted to skip every scene I had to see Daemon on my screen)
Hopefully it gets better, but I don't have that many hopes (also did we all see HBO chose the blacks so now MAYBE they will stop saying the show is green biased? Is clearly baised sure, but not for the greens.
#guess i should go for it#anti hotd#I'm honestly scared of tagging the characters and attract haters#alicent hightower#criston cole#alicole#aegon ii targaryen#halaena targaryen#aemond targaryen#otto hightower#what an underwhelming episode for Christ sake#hotd season 2 spoilers
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circ is such 4 hypocrite. they cl4im to be pro endo 4nd then keep being friends with bigots (they're besties with J4S 4nd other people who've h4r4ssed you so its not surprising). even more recently they c4me out 4nd reve4led themselves to be one of the mods of the 4nti endo 4nd bigoted sysbox tumblr blog 4nd its so fucking dis4ppointed. i never re4lly liked them bec4use of how much they h4r4ss tulp4s but their recent post on th4t blog is such 4 new low. THEY H4VE SUCH PICK ME ENERGY. they're liter4lly joking 4bout being better 4nd more 'civil' th4n most pro endos 4nd endos (you know the people they SUPPOSEDLY support so much), which re-enforces stereotypes 4bout endo systems. they literally do not give 4 shit 4bout us or our rights 4nd i wish more plur4l collectives fucking stopped supporting them just bec4use they make 're4lly nice and friendly sysmed cdd system' their whole br4nd. they're like those people who 4spire to be 4 model minority. they dont c4re. they h4ve never c4red. they only c4re about their own 4cceptance and getting popul4rity but dont c4re 4bout the rest of the community. im so 4ngry. my littles who used to find their blog comforting 4re fucking he4rtbroken. i knew they were shit but im so 4ngry 4t myself for not being 4ble to protect my system. im so 4ngry on beh4lf of my system and on beh4lf of the whole plur4l community. we deserve better
https://www.tumblr.com/sysboxes/745040882164760576/which-mod-is-circular-bircular-arent-they-pro?source=share
i hope this is ok4y to send. im just re4lly angry and your blog h4s 4lw4ys been 4 s4fe sp4ce for us. th4nk you for everything you do btw. despite the h4te, you 4lw4ys keep posting 4nd fighting for our rights. my system 4dmires you [ ^-^] <3
I'm sorry you feel hurt and betrayed.
It's terrible to put your trust in someone and find out they aren't who you thought they were. But for what it's worth, I don't think you let your system down.
Life is about making mistakes and learning. You can't refuse to trust anyone just because you get burned in the past. Maybe it hurts now, but I don't think any lasting damage was done.
Personally, learning this... I find myself largely indifferent. I'm not at all surprised at this, knowing them. They've modded anti-endo discord servers, so why not an anti-endo sysbox blog?
My own feelings on Circ are complicated. I do not consider Circ safe for endogenic systems given their reblogs and support of anti-endos, and frequent parroting of anti-endo talking points.
At the same time, I actually do think their presence in anti-endo spaces has been a net positive for our goals in those communities. Circ has bragged a few times about making their anti-endo friends more pro-endo. And while I wouldn't say those friends became allies to the pro-endo community, many did switch to more neutral stances which I do think helped reduce hate against endogenic and pro endo systems in those spaces, and that seems like a good thing for me.
So I guess, while I don't care much for Circ as a person due to history there, I can acknowledge that their influence in anti-endo spaces ultimately serves my goals.
Besides, it's really upsetting some anti-endos so that's fun to watch! 😁
And you know, they have a point.
Like, if I was following a pro-endo blog and learned that one of the mods was anti-endo... and an anti-endo who bragged about making pro-endos more anti-leaning, I would be very suspicious of not just that one anti-endo but all the mods on that blog they were friends with.
How can you trust that your anti-endo sysbox mods haven't already been converted to the other side and aren't just lying to you about their syscourse stance???
Now you might think I'm just intentionally trying to spread mistrust and division among anti-endos by saying this... get them to turn on each other and tear themselves apart from the inside. And you'd be absolutely right! But that doesn't mean I'm wrong, and it doesn't mean me stating my motives aloud will make it any less likely to work!
And I would even like to say that I do appreciate the mod team on that blog being able to look past an alleged pro-endo's syscourse stance. Even if it's only for this one kind-of-hypocritical exception since they still refuse to interact with any other pro-endos.
Yes, I SophieInWonderland, endogenic tulpa, support sysboxes for having a pro-endo-identifying mod!
And since antiendovents crossposted in the inclusive plural tag, this is going straight into the anti-endo tags so the entire anti-endo community can see me expressing this support that I'm sure won't create any waves at all. 😈
#syscourse#pro endogenic#pro endo#anti endogenic#anti endo#Just me... casually sewing division among our enemies...#Anti-endos really should have stayed out of our tags.#I wonder how many people remember that time Circ argued with me for retaliatory crosstagging.#Did they send profanities at me that time? I can't remember. Maybe I'm getting it confused with another time.#Either way... add the tagging to the list of reasons they're going to hate this post.#It goes without saying... please don't harass anyone mentioned in this post.#Don't send them angry messages. Definitely don't send threats.#Sending hate is what anti-endos do. We HAVE to be better than them.
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There's all this happy and cheerful music over Bison and Kant's date, and I just don't know what this show is expecting me to feel right now. Am I supposed to be smiling and thinking their date is cute? Or am I supposed to(accurately) be thinking of how sinister this all is? To find it disturbing how good Kant is at pretending to be a loving boyfriend while secretly plotting to get Bison thrown into a prison with horrifying conditions where he could very easily die an awful, painful death? How am I supposed to ever root for the two of them knowing that Kant has this level of deception inside of him? Like I know it's very much a "him or me" scenario, but that doesn't stop this from feeling super fucked up.
#the heart killers spoilers#the heart killers episode 5#the heart killers#should I tag this anti Kant and anti bisonkant?#I'm gonna go ahead and tag this#anti Kant#and#anti bisonkant
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I do, in fact, hold the Jewish community collectively responsible for Zionists.
Individually? Of course not. Anti Zionist Jews exist as individuals. Many individuals are shut out of their own religious community, especially those of colour.
But as a community where Zionism is so socially and institutionally entrenched that the minority of dissenters are disowned and ostracized?
The global community of which only a handful of organisations openly advocate for Palestine, and even most of those paternalistic and co-opting Palestnian voices with liberal Zionist sympathies?
The western majority that institutionally benefits from white colonization and imperialism and silences its non-Jewish Black and brown critics?
The same majority that will never own their privilege or culpability or complicity in the colonial project before and after the Holocaust?
That helped the West exceptionalize it to cover up their exponentially larger and more enduring colonial crimes?
That distanced themselves from their white colonial privilege at the expense of BIPOC by insisting theirs was not a religious marginalization but a racial one, and continues to punish us for not treating them as racially oppressed?
Whose very demand to be automatically exonerated from the Palestinian genocide is reflective of their white and Western privilege?
That successfully broke the ties Jews of colour have to their own racial communities through Israeli ethnic cleansing and Zionist propaganda?
That uses JoC as shields, tokens and weapons against all the above charges?
The JoC that have purchased the privileges of Zionism and enfranchised themselves by betraying their own races?
The community that has used the charge of antisemitism to police Black and brown folks for decades, making it a knife against our necks?
I absolutely, 100% blame the global Jewish community.
The Global South will not forget. We will not forgive. All people with white skinned European descent are our oppressors. All people nourished on the teat of the imperial core are the foot soldiers of white supremacy, no matter what their race. We owe you no exoneration.
#this post is brought to you by the fucking bullshit going on at the holocaust museum today#i'm never going to give a shit about that after this. nothing to do with us#how tf do you terrorize black and brown people into recognizing your victimhood and not realize you arent the victim here if you can do tha#i am 1000% done with this colonizer bullshit#no wonder black intellectuals have been calling out white jews for decades#'antisemitism' only matters when it affects white jews lmao. JoC have to deal with it on their own#i trust JoC even less than white Jews after this because holy shit the zionist bootlicking#they aren't gonna fuck you bro#if you arent going to divest from white colonialism please get your asses the fuck out of our spaces#you should be expiring with shame and pain for what your people are doing#instead you're whinging because someone tagged Free Palestine on your wall after a 115 days of butchering babies#fuck you#knee of huss#anti zionist#zionazis#free palestine#racism#anti blackness#white supremacy#colonialism#western imperialism
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gonna sound snarky but here's some genuine advice for you if you don't want me to save and regif your video sources for later: don't tag or label it in a way that it shows up in proship tags. like seriously guys, I ain't even trying to find your posts at this point you're dropping them into my lap
#“I don't wanna be mean but he looks like he's asking for it” - that one pelican tag post#or whatever it said#I'm gonna keep doing what I'm doing but felt I should say something after I went to go look for actual proship stuff#and found mostly antis telling me to gtfo. I couldn't stay silent on such irony#talk tag#saltcourse#Shio.txt
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Today I feel much more charitable, so I decide to bring a more neutral comparison than usual.
I see a parallel between N!Hector trapping Lenore in a cage, ready to let N!Isaac kill him but pleading him to spare her, which means condemning her to a fate of being the only survivor of the fall of the castle and the death of its Lady and the knowledge that she failed and everything she worked for was completely pointless and her sisters were right in thinking she was just a stupid girl...
... and Hector sparing Isaac in their fight while crawling away to die alone, forcing Isaac to witness the ruins of the castle and realize he has lost his home, his Lord, his powers and his friend, tormented by the knowledge that he failed and he disappointed his Lord once more and he will never be able to rise from Hector's shadow.
It's an interesting scenario. Cruel mercy to the highest order, at the expense of one's own life, made worthless.
Of course, Hector's decision to spare Isaac is much more interesting to think about, because it's never explained nor hinted why he did it, and we can only rely on context and subtext. Isaac, being Isaac, sees it in the worst way: "Is this the arrogance of the superior one?" He thinks Hector, the favored General, wanted to rub his victory in his face. "My body is the proof of Your expectations for him." He fears Dracula's disappointment that, once again, he wasn't able to match Hector: his inferiority complex is gnawing at him. "Had you cut off my head, I wouldn't have to see this!" It's obvious that Isaac would have killed himself first thing if the thought of getting revenge didn't give him the strength to live on; he sees being forced to live as being forced to feel pain and humiliation, and this is why he decides to make Hector suffer as much as he can.
But these are only Isaac's thoughts, and he's obviously biased: did Hector really want to humiliate his former friend, is he truly that spiteful? Or perhaps he lacked the courage to finish him off, moved by a misplaced sense of mercy? Did he think he'd die on his own, and he didn't want Isaac's blood on his hands? Or did he simply not care, because his priority was getting away as fast as possible and damned all the consequences?
And why does Hector want to die? Didn't he get what he wanted, freedom from Dracula, the freedom to live as a human being? Was the guilt of killing so many innocents so heavy, that he didn't have the strength to live on in the world of humans that already rejected him when he was still sinless? Or perhaps it was the guilt of nearly killing his former friend, the only person who could remotely understand him? Was it only a matter of pride, dying as far away from Dracula as possible, choosing death as a free man rather than a cushy life as a weapon?
We have no answers, and we don't need them, because we can put the pieces together by ourselves. My personal interpretation is that yes, in some part, Hector cared about Isaac: their relationship was strained and they were already diverging in personalities and morals, but we still see Hector seeking empathy from Isaac when he brings back the severed hands ("You're human too, aren't you?"). When Isaac intercepts him, he expresses his anger against the humans who have chased them away, something Hector can still relate to despite his choice to throw it all away. And despite wanting to kill him, Isaac was noble enough to bring Hector a sword, so that they could fight fairly: he, too, cares to an extent, even if he's eager to punish the traitor. All of this considered, I can imagine that Hector didn't have it in him to give him the coup de graçe. Dracula's most efficient, coldest General still has a hint of softness in him. Which means that yes, he chose to let himself die out of guilt both for his sins and for Isaac, having at least achieved the symbolic freedom to die as a man. But if someone wants to see it as Hector not even caring enough about Isaac's fate, only selfishly concerned with himself, maybe even as a final show of how much stronger he is so he better not be underestimated, it's not impossible.
With N!Hector it's all much more straightfoward. He likes Lenore: if his previous sarcasm and the snappy way he reminded her of the way she "solved his problem" could have hinted at simmering resentment, this act shows that there's no spite in his heart. He has fully forgiven her for her betrayal, and doesn't consider her Carmilla's accomplice after the talk they had previously; charitably, he could see her choice to check on him rather than Carmilla as proof that she has switched alliances, or maybe he empathizes with her as both of them felt lied to by their Lord/Lady. This is not payback to him, shown by the fact that after Carmilla kills herself, he admits he only wants Lenore in his life, either out of genuine fondness or because he has nothing else. If Hector fully freed himself of Dracula's and Isaac's influence, rejecting his power, the safety of his castle and position for the sake of his principles, N!Hector's decision to stay in the castle and with Lenore of his own free will, even after severing the bond that forced him with her, sends the clearest message: "I love you despite everything".
(and I'm not even considering that the sin N!Hector was ready to be executed for was betraying Dracula, long after he should have understood that it was not a mistake - although I can be even more generous and think that after all the torture he went through, after he was made to feel like a failure of a human being good only to be kicked around, no wonder he'd lose his will to live)
I would like to draw a parallel between his actions here and the fact that ever since he was a child, N!Hector forced dead animals to live on so that they could keep him company, a childish definition of love that fits well in vampire society. On one hand, it would make sense and greatly combine kindness and selfishness which is the main reason I find N!Hector compelling; on the other, it would be yet another proof that all this time, he didn't grow up - until Lenore decides to kill herself to escape the pain, and then he finally accepts he can't force creatures to stay with him. Problem is, since during the raid he was fully convinced N!Isaac would kill him, this is a moot point: he didn't care about Lenore's company until he was made to live. It was fully for her sake, to protect her life regardless of his own. This theme could have been touched upon in the last episode, when Lenore is still kept captive for apparently no reason other than the fact that N!Hector wants her with him, even if she is miserable, but much like N!Hector, Lenore doesn't seem to hold any resentment against the man who betrayed her (deservingly or not), destroyed her life and forced her to go through it. Her lack of reaction is especially blatant when you compare her to Isaac's seething hatred for Hector for the exact same reasons.
The other parallel I could draw is that this is more or less what Lenore had done to him. Lenore in S3 wanted to keep N!Hector safe from her sisters, who didn't see the point in keeping him and were ready to replace him with mercenaries. Her way to make him needed was to force him into the position of her pet, and by doing so, he lied to him, betrayed him, raped him by deception (the story forgets about her intention of repeating the experience for the sake of making her redeemable), and forced a cursed ring on him that would bring him pain if he thought of running away or rebelling. And sure, N!Hector got a good deal in that he was allowed freedom of the castle and nice quarters, but at first he was obviously devastated that he was trapped and made into a tool by the woman he trusted. Likewise, N!Hector protected her life from N!Isaac's rampage, but he did so by going behind her back and aiding the man who killed Carmilla and conquered the castle. If Lenore, in theory, held no malice, N!Hector didn't either. However, needless to say, karmic punishment was the furthest thing from his mind for all the reasons I said above; and besides, the moral exposed by N!Isaac was "revenge is for children and it's time to grow up", so this is more of a narrative parallel than a character parallel.
The only conclusion that can be drawn is simply that N!Hector thought Lenore, and only her, was too good to deserve death, and didn't consider the emotional toll that forcing her to live would cause her until she sunned herself and he had to let her go, the only character development he has in the very last minute of his arc. I would have loved if he had shown more resentment and confusion towards her for the bipolar way she has treated him, to make the choice more poignantly ambiguous and less... well, what I always complain about.
Nevertheless, this brand of accidentally cruel mercy is an inherently cool concept. It's just that, like many good ideas in NFCV, the game series did it better.
#long post#castlevania#netflixvania thoughts#akumajou dracula#prelude to revenge#netflix castlevania#not sure if i should tag the ships#not tagging it as anti because for once i'm not bitching#(well... not too much)#this is a serious analyses of the two scenes#now i hope brain lets me go#analyzing is fun but i feel obsessive lol#i just. the story. the themes. the narrative.#prelude of revenge my entire beloved <3
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