#should I also get into how facts and science matter so much to donnie

[turtleblogatlast]

Been thinking about how Donnie and Leo’s insecurities juxtapose each other.

Donnie is insecure about his place in the family, but confident in who he is outside of it.

Leo is secure about being a part of the family, but thinks he’s nothing outside of it.

I think it’s a very interesting comparison that reflects their respective personalities, Donnie’s “Will all I have to offer be enough?” versus Leo’s “Do I even have anything else to offer?”

[minumi-chan]

Wish We Had Just A Little More Time... Series Masterpost

I figured it was time to create a masterpost as I continue to work on this series of stories. Guys, gals, non-binary pals~ welcome to my Fix-It series: Wish We Had Just A Little More Time...

A/N: The series is still currently in progress. Each of the fics intersect at certain points, and it's best read in the order listed as they build on each other, but they do still make sense as stand alone stories as well.

A Twin Thing ~ (Leo and Donnie focused) ~A03 link Summary: Calling them twins has always been Leo’s thing, and Don has always discredited the claim with science. No matter how many facts about their very distinctive species of turtle were spit at him though, Leonardo’s irrefutable truth since childhood was that Donatello is his twin.

Or: Four times Donatello rejects Leo's notion of them being twins, and the once (and future) time he embraces it.

Status: Complete

::CH1::CH2::CH3::CH4::CH5::CH6::CH7::

Words You Didn't Say~ (Raph and Donnie focused) ~A03 link Summary: Dad has to explain to him, when Raphael was much younger and upset himself believing that Donatello hated him, that sometimes children do not feel comfortable speaking, and so they do not. Dad tells him he should listen to Donnie with his heart, and that if he did, he would understand that Donatello does not hate him at all. Raphael takes that advice to heart, and makes an effort to understand all the alternate ways his little brother speaks to his family without words ever since.

Status: WIP

::CH1::CH2::CH3::TBC~

Everything Is Figure-outable~ (Mikey and Donnie focused) ~A03 link Summary: Mikey doesn't hug like he is taking something. He hugs like he's giving you something, small and warm and precious, and it makes his affection so much more tolerable even when Donnie is feeling at his most skittish.

Status: WIP

::CH1::TBC~

Random babblings under cut~

This series was born of a desire to process the intense emotions I was left with after marathoning the ROTTMNT series in order to watch the Rise movie with everything fresh in mind. Only to put on the film and be absolutely floored and destroyed emotionally by everything thrown at our sweet turtle boys, and especially slapped by the horrific Bad Future timeline.

I wanted to write some moments of the boys growing up and how their bonds we see in the series and film came to be, and how in that terrible future some came to an end-- but to also juxtapose that with the wonderful message of hope from the movie and family from the series and how they grabbed onto a happy ending in the face of impossible odds and refused to let it go. When I started writing it, I wasn't yet sure what the aim of A Twin Thing was, but then I realized by the mid point what I wanted in my heart to do, and that it would take several more stories to get there. So I've been writing furiously ever since, because I realized I wanted somehow to create a world where they didn't just bifurcate the timeline... They fixed it.

[cienie-isengardu]

what du you think everyone recession if oroku nagi was reanimated back to life but a woman

Turtles have no real emotional ties to Yoshi, Tang Shen and Nagi, even less to the tragedy that happened around what? almost two decades before any of them ended in sewers under Splinter’s care. They get involved in the conflict with Foot Clan only because their father wanted to avenge his beloved Hamato Yoshi but couldn’t do it on his own. I mean, sure, the turtles to some degree care for said man and Tang Shen, but it is not the same connection nor feeling of grief that Oroku Saki felt for his brother. So for turtles Nagi being woman or man has no meaning, the only thing that matters is the fact their (Splinter)’s enemy is back and how dangerous he is. Mikey may joke about the change and quote all pop culture and stuff, Donny may talk  about how possible or not possible the whole situation is from a science point, but the same as Leo, Raph and Splinter, Nagi’s new gender is a secondary - if even at all concern.

April and Casey Jones I guess would be more freaked out by the fact that some crazy stuff is happening again and the dead-but-not-anymore-dead enemy is on the loose. But again, no real connection to care if Nagi is a woman now. Though I think April and Casey would take the news in similar fashion to Mikey and Donnie, as in having some science speculation or fantastic theories. 

The real question is how Oroku Saki would react, because grieving deeply the loss of a beloved brother at the age 7 and caring to avenge him for more than decade definitely influences his reaction. The shock of meeting your dead brother once again is not something that easy to shake off, however Nagi as a woman would need to prove that yes, despite different gender it is still him. So I guess, Saki could be pretty skeptical at first which is understandable considering all things.

Shredder’s reaction will also depend on when Nagi comes back and if the Foot Clan has anything to do with it, like the way they resurrected Oroku Saki (Color Classic vol.2 #7).

Because Foot Clan messing with Nagi’s remains could influence how he feels about his brother’s return to life. How Nagi himself feels about being alive again.

Also, we can’t forget that Oroku Saki was raised in an assassin clan in Japan before he was sent to New York - we have little to none idea what the Foot Clan take on gender roles and general emphasis on their culture & society is. We know there are female ninjas, as Karai is original comics was high-ranked member that was sent to New City to deal with situation after Shredder’s death while in majority of TMNT versions she was Oroku Saki’s right hand man (sometimes even the adopted daughter), so if Nagi is still capable of fighting, his gender should not influence his position. However it would be understandable if Saki felt awkward, suspicious, confused and/ or a bit freaked out if his beloved older brother came back as a woman. But I guess how their relationship would look would depend a lot on what Nagi’s goals are and how much it challenges Saki’s own. I have no doubt he loved his brother, but he ain’t anymore the devastated 7 years old.

[gornackeaterofworlds]

Have you watch any other iterations of tmnt? Do you have a favorite or least favorite turtle

I've watched bits and pieces of 2012 because it was on TV at the time, but seriously? Nope. I plan to, but not right now. And I didn't like 2012 at the time but it's growing on me a LOT from TikTok clips. I plan to watch 2012, the bayverse movies(I know they're bad, that's why I wanna watch em), 2003 and maybe 87. I'm skipping that other live action one(I think it's the 90s?) Bc it freaks me out. I wanna see MM but not for a while, I can already tell it's gonna suck me into a deep hyperfixation state. But in general I just hate when characters are clones of each other so that's why I was so attracted to rottmnt as an animation. I actually had a lot of trouble watching 2012 bc they look the same to me. In fact, before I saw rottmnt I actually didnt know the difference between "the blue and purple ones". Now of course I see the slight differences in 12, but I still hate the blockiness of their bodies. And hate the apritello. It's painful after rottmnts family stuff and I just never liked apritello.

As for my favorite turtle, that's actually a really hard question. I like them all a lot. But I probably like Donnie or Mikey most, and Raph least. Not that I don't like raph. I adore him he's a sweetie pie. But I like the others just marginally more than him. I dunno, I like snark. They all have more snark than him. He's too nice for me to love as much as the rest. That says some things about me I don't wanna get into though. I do read fics of all of them(separately), including him, but I read his stuff least. As much as I respect Mikeys maturity, he's a child to me. And Raph is just, large and sweet. Don't get me wrong I like that, but sarcasm really reels me in. I just like the twin more than Raph. They're fun, they're smart, they're more humanlike, they feel more 3d to me.

I immediately wanted to say I like Donnie most, I relate to him the most as an autistic person and in general. I like purple, I like science, I like cute but mean things. I dislike familial physical affection and it's hard for me to be fazed at events that I should. But I also really like Mikey a lot, and Leo was the one that got me watching rottmnt. I liked how his animation looks and I've read fics before I even watched the series, and then I liked Donnie more than him as I watched it. So Donnie is gonna have to be my favorite, but the rest matter a lot to me too

[aeempress]

Apritello Express Evidences, part 3

Apritello, my dear friends, is really all hints, devil in details, little pieces that, in the end, become a huge picture.

I can't say that there are a lot of episodes with April and Donnie spending quality time together, no. But all episodes are important to understand how their relationship are involving, growing. If you have sharp eyes and think about all of this even a little bit, you will be surprised how gracefully their relationship changes and grows, how characters evolve.

Dear passengers, we're about to start. Mind the gap!

Episodes “The Gumbus” and “Mrs. Cuddles”. 

I think it would be appropriate to analyze these episodes in bunch, because they have common situations of spooky supernatural stuff and reactions of characters to this.

When you watch these two eps in raw, it's easy to see how alike are reactions of Donnie and April in some scary, really odd situations. 

Adrenaline ‘n’ reclessness

April is really into all spooky things in “The Gumbus”, she's not afraid of some creepy stuff and she's really brave girl who easily copes with stressful and life-threatening situations.

Donnie is incredibly calm and collected when alive doll talked to him.

But still, April was frightened about plush rabbit because it was really unexpected for girl, she wasn’t ready to realize that plush doll that she’d worked with is alive fear-eating monster who will hurt and intimidate to get their precious screams. But point remains: Donnie and April share crazy fearlessness, which turns into an adrenaline addiction.

And here I am, a science guy, who tell you: adrenaline is a big deal for our body. This hormone can even provoke an onset of romantic feelings. Chemistry and anatomy come to fill the gaps: when a person is afraid, their pulse quickens, a cocktail of hormones is releasing into the blood, which sharpen the senses and reflexes. It will create a strong emotional bound, that's important for maintaining romantic kind of feelings. The more impressions there are (even negative ones), the higher the chance that person will remember his|her partner, and want to see them again – the body gets hooked on adrenaline, like a drug.

That’s why D&A have so strong, unshakeable boundaries. They are so alike: their attitude to scary things, the way Donnie and April cope with them, the adrenaline addiction their share. They even express feelings the same way.

And one tiny detail: April and Donnie start the teasing Raph for his fear of mrs. Cuddles. So they become the first victims of plushie.

Friendly reminder: they were the 1st victims, and what’s happened with them we don’t know, because it wasn’t shown due to not ruin the atmosphere of suspense.

But we have a beautiful quote of mrs. Cuddles and this precious shot which explain everything

Raph: Where’s Donnie?

Cuddles: In a happy place where he’ll scream and I can grow forever and now you’re gonna join him!

In a happy place, huh? Tied up with April in Splinter’s bedroom, a really happy place. Hold a sec, are they -

And after that Donnie’s responding is killing me.

Donnie:[OS] I'm afraid of togetherness.

Yep. All normal here. We should continue.

"Operation Normal" even though doesn't show a lot of interactions between April and Donnie, however continues the general outline highlighting the topics that were mentioned earlier in the show.

Firstly, April's relationship with her classmates. We're able to see how poor her scholar life is in "Hypno Part Deux" and "The Purple Jacket". She has no "normal", human friends except some strange remora guy, more like acquaintance than friend, though. But still, having "be normal" kick she's fine with Donnie's weirdness ( Mikey is always beyond all normal comprehension, Raph goes weird while he's alone, without brothers, and his fear of miss Cuddles is no big deal to fam, Leo didn't show any weird stuff during the series, like, reeeeal weird, m'kay?).

Conversation between April and Donnie at pizza spot

Really interesting and smooth scene. We’ve got Donatello who stares at April while he’s waiting his favourite pizza, no big deal.

And his legs.

If a person is interested in you, during a conversation, they will put their right foot forward (a left-handed person is more likely to put their left foot forward) in order to close the distance between you. - Check.

being in company, peson will point the sock at the most pleasant interlocutor for them. - check.

April’s legs are ponted at Donnie. Checkmate.

Yeah, April is hanging out with Donatello and Leonardo, but the main focus of hers is on Donnie. 

All these scene makes me think that Donnie, knowing about how badly sometimes April  wants to be normal, is up to help her overcome this. Fight fire with fire:  fill up her life with all of this weird, mystic stuff so it will be normal with time. Regular people go to pizza spot to spend some quality time together, so we have pizza restaraunt here, in Hidden City. Make all odd normal, and problem will solved.

Donnie really tries his best, look at his face. Dee’s fine with all this bizzare things what happens to April, he’s fine with her. But still he fails, because April’s concept of normalcy differs drom Donnie’s.

And again, for Donnie it’s not a problem at all. He’s always was at the opposite side of normalcy and it doesn’t matter for him if April is in the same boat with him. Cause, as I said, Don’s fine with that.

Second, how much Donnie knows about April.

- Scoff! Are you really still on this whole "I want things to be normal" kick?

- Yes, what big city girl doesn't have a kayak and has hazmat suit?

Interesting detail here: this line launches Donnie’s flashback (because the first scene is from “Purple Jacket”, it’s Dee’s episode, obviously). And Don, as far as I can tell, has in his flashback moments with April when she did something reaaally impressive. His face is way more louder than any words.

- Short answer: no. Long answer: nnooooooooo.

- Oh, no! You know how April freaks out around the cosplay wizards!

These tiny lines are containing a lot of background, stories, intimate conversations that April and Donnie share. This show always does the same trick: we never see a direct action, we are only able to see a result or statement of the result. But series do a great work telling us with such small and imperceptible gestures that their bonding at this point is mutual. Not only D tells April about his inventions, family and fam's issues he has and even his falls, mistakes and failures. April does the same thing, sharing with Donatello one of the most important things to her. Problem that really bothers her.

C'mon, he'd even memorized Sunita's name, though April messed up with this situation a bit. It seems Donnie memorizes facts about April - he remembered the wi-fi password from old April's work as we can see in "The Longest fight" (he could hack it easily, he's a genius, why he's been keeping in mind some piece information that useless for a year? It doesn't make any sense)

Oh, and that. Just a coincidence, I guess?

Just alike suits, no big deal. Plus, the whole family has it (and something tells me that guys have suits at the behest of Don, so probably April does). But Donnie and April has a lot in common like emotional expressions, reaction about some kind situations, fight style and even tastes in fashion.

Also, it seems like Donnie's been watching April for sometimes.

While Leo was hiding in trash can, to not catch anyone's eye rather than April. He definitely couldn't know who was passing by, but there was Donnie to observe from above. That's why he was hanging down the stairs when Leo spoke to April.

It’s not the first time Donnie dress up as old lady to monitor April’s day.

Leo: Why do you always make us dress up as old ladies? Donnie: №1: confort, №2: to blend in as we monitor April’s day for max normalcy.

 3. Even when D took away this cosplay wizard, he's still keeping eye on her.

Oh no, you don’t. Grandmas here!

Donatello changes his foe to save April exactly. He fought all evening with Brutus, but when April slightly gets in danger, Donnie just attacked anyone who has intention to hurt her and ruin her evening.

Is that a flying turtle in an old purple dress?

April, who all evening was trying to look “normal”, hiding her real friends because they are mutant turtles and pretending that nothing unusual happens here, finally gives up when Sunita mentioned Donnie. Even though new April’s friend has asked her before about Leo.

His eyes. 

Donnie is really impressed but what he saw, and the reason - April O'Neil.

The episode "Warren & Hypno, sitting in a Tree" is another incredible piece of whole picture.

Turtle tank is decorated for April birthday in purplish scheme, definetely Donatello's work.

Dee's nonverbal speech.

• He seems more interested and softer than usual looking at April. It's easy to say comparing him with brothers. Mikey is in anticipation of fun mode, Leo relaxed and show his "whatever it will be fun" attitude, Raph is listening carefully, but still, Donnie could just turn his head in April's vouce direction, not a whole body.

• Warren felt Don's gaze while talked with April, so worm made the remark. Pay attention to the construction of the frame of neighboring scenes. The second frame is April's perspective. And Don is looking namely at her.

Indignation. Disappointment. Spark, storm, madness (i love this russian meme, sorry not sorry)

• Donnie seems sincerely sorry for this situation with April's b-day. And again, this soft gaze and "Raph, shut the shell up, your nonsense is upsetting her"-eyes.

• Donatello is kind of person, who’s avoiding a proper confrontation, so he rarely stands up for someone.  He were remaining silent, when Raphael tried to cheer April in the most radiculous way, but when Hypno tried to play with April’s feelings, Donnie blew it. 

He’s obviously in wrath as D emote that expressively. Yeah, he had much on his plate at April’s birthday, but it’s her b-day on the line, not his pride.

Warren used April, playing with her fan feelings. Her idol betrayed her, she was locked up in a cage, and now we have Hypno who wants to use her again by pitting and pushing for her compassion, because, it’s obvious - boys would do everything she said. 

And Donnie tries to keep Hypno away from her, protect her feelings from another betrayal. 

As he’s already stated - “For you, anything”.

The show always tells us: if you wanna trigger Don, bring April in. 

Hypno tried to turn this thing around, Leo did the same in “Al be back”. 

If Hypno-tamus did that accidentally as he found out that April O’ Neil is a birthday girl, so her wishes that day were laws, Leo did it on purpuse.

Leo is good at manupulating and pulling some strings, plus he knows his twin as back of his hand. That’s why Leo mentioned April in the end as she was always the most powerful argument, the reason and motive for Donnie. At second he’s even panicked, but remained calm. He almost blew up his coolheaded image because of one certain girl in yellow.

• Donnie is really happy to present Warren's arm to April. He even holds it like a rare, priceless treasure. D is really proud of himself right now: he saved the day, after all. The emotional reaction of hers is exactly what Donnie wants to get. And then, his final pose, while April is on 9th cloud from happiness - that's really territorial gesture, D claims his supremacy and confidence, telling "See? That's my happy birthday girl".

Leapfrog with a composition

Donnie and April are more and more eager to be together in the frame. Composition’s boners, m’kay.

Special ride for April

Yeah, Donnie used to offer his battleshell to give April a special ride. It even has  a seat and handlebars for her comfort. She can control the flight as well as Donatello, they are like co-pilots. But he never carried her on his back before.

Usually, April is carried by Raphael, on his neck/shoulder, and she’s fine with it. Raph is strong enough to carry her without any difficulties or slowing down.

It’s not Donnie’s weak to carry her - no, he strong enough to carry his battleshell with a lot stuff in it everyday, Don can carry Splints on his shoulder without any apparent difficulty. He strong enough to hold the weight of his battleshell+April. Oh, c’mon, D assembled the Turtle tank only by himself and this for sure requires a lot of physical strength in order to engage in auto mechanics. Try lifting the wheel with tyre, and you'll see what I mean. Of course, there is a jack, but it will not solve all the problems. Don could use hydraulics and Archimedes ' laws, but I'm sure he did most of it with his own hands. Lifting and carrying, all by himself.

Not the strengh what’s matter but another point.

The sequence where Donnie carries April on his back doesn’t last long, it’s pretty easy to miss, while Raph openly do that with April on him. 

Plus April’s gaze: she’s staring right at us with her “ninja-eyes” as if they were caught in the middle of something. The duration and length of the sequence, the way it is made all of this arouse certain thoughts. 

It’s like nobody should see this. Too personal. To be more specific - too close and intimate? 

Donnie stated a few times that he’s not into togetherness, tactile interaction and phisical side of contacts. Although he's fine with his brothers, don't forget that April is a girl. Even if she feels like part of family, she’s not his relative. She’s not his sister. 

Some people tend to avoid physical contact with the objects of their interest. And this behaviour fits in Don’s character. He’s anxious type with a lot of psychological and emotional issues. Yeah, he tries to cover it up, built a shell to protect himself, behave as confident extravert but he’s nothing like that. Sometimes D tends to distance himself from his family, to hide in his shell, and we've seen that throughout the show. 

Don hangs by his phone quite often, he addicted to this as his comfort zone, his peaceful cave, where everything is much easier,

Don pretends he’s so busy with his science stuff to ward off his brothers (ep. Mind Meld), 

Don went to the lab to work on his projects, while he could hang out with April and the brothers (ep. Mrs. Cuddles). And he left for what? To work on self-cleaning tooth pick, or the titan bust of himself? It’s seems like lame excuse to be alone. He’s definetely an intovert, who sometimes needs some space and time with himself. 

All his cocky behaviour is showing off to hide insecure, diffident and vulnerable creature, softshell purple turtle. Yeah, Donnie has confidence in what he’s great in: tech, science stuff, where he’s only one is capable of. But if someone steps on his domain or doubts his authority, his true colours exposed.

And, once again, “Mind meld” is a great evidence of that. Would callous, unsumpathetic guy without heart have a wall with pictures of his fellows? I’m afraid not. Donnie has a soft, caring heart.

There’s an alley of his the dearest moments, because photos - are always memory, precious moments we want to keep. 

1 - from “Minotaur Maze”. Don loves good pizza, loves his brothers, and they have a little adventure together. Yeah, this photo isn’t on champ wall, but still.

2 - from “Mascot melee”. Important day for bros as they show themselves to people at daylight to rescue Raph and their operation to buy a new robe for his father. It’s their joint brothers dance, and D is loving to dance, remember? Definetely special occasion.

3 - from “Mascot melee”. Splints was really glad to receive a gift from boys. And Donatello, as we know, is always eager to achive for pop’s approval. This for sure must be in his precious moments collection.

5, 7 - from “Donnie’s gifts”. He even keeps a dorky photo, which Raph uses as profile pic at Donnie’s number.

8, 9 - “Down with the sickness”. It was funny to survive all the 7 stages to achive what boys wanted. They failed, but still.

10 - from “Al be back”. Who knows that Splints is so good at singing?

4, 6 - from “The Fast and the Furriest”. Strange choice, cuz, you know, photos ten seconds before his collision with April bat?

And yeah, he HAS April’s photo here. And at this pic it’s April, and April alone,without his brothers. 

Don’s a real softie, see?

And avoiding physical contact is a way to protect Donnie’s already shattered self-esteem. To not cause any doubts in front of girl which he’s interested in. That’s possible reason why we did not receive any heartwarming hugs in “The Purple Jacket”.

But Donnie carries April, because it’s her birthday. On the one hand, the girl claims that  her b-day is cursed, and Donnie could, by any chance, do something nice for her, and on the other hand - any request of the bithday girl - is the law, as we could see earlier.

Gift for birthday girl

There is no Donnie in the scene after Draxum throw off Warren's arm. While Raph comfort April about her birthday, Donnie was looking for it to present it to April.

He knows the best what is the most precious gift for her. Warren Stone, her idol, goat of making news; she have been in Stoneheads fanclub for 9 years. Also, it seems that Donnie is the one of turtles, who collected info about this worm.

Also, he stopped immediately when April stepped between them and show no disappointing (remind you about Donnie's sadistic science guy nature). The reason is April.

And another cute detail: their glasses are the same form.

Another episode "Mystic library" has slightly touched D&A interaction. But were talking about Apritello, it's all hints but quality.

When Mayham trapped in the mirror and Raph, Leo and Mikey obviously are not coping, April decides to call Donnie to clear situation up.

Donnie, mister "I ruin everything", she's going to call for help. I repeat this. April calls for help Mr. Science to solve mystic problems with her pet. MYSTIC PET.

 And he AGREES.

Turtles dissuade their friend from calling Donatello but after a while, April returns with Donnie, and sees the bathroom in ruins.

I'm gonna clear this moment.

1. April haven’t called Donnie.

2. Some time later she returns with Dee.

3. Our girl is pretty shocked to see her bathroom in ruins, argo she didn't see/hear Raph chose to solve problem with smashing.

It must mean only ine thing: April went for Donnie by herself. We don't know where was he, we don't know what the reason April brought Donnie with her by herself, 'cause we know that if she call Dee, he will definitely get to her immediately.

Something is definetely off.

By the way, April changed Don’s profile pic.Yeah, the first one is very informative since Donnie is a turtle and he’s purple and he has bandana. Seems like April have done it by herself, editing the photo of real turtle. She didn't put a lot of effort into this, this image doesn't show her real attitude towards Don. But second is more personality-tinged. Sleeping Donatello in all his gear - this detail can tell us about only one thing - he was photographed when he fell asleep after his sleepless night(s) working hard at something - is something she can catch or receive by boys (namely speaking, it’s Leo, according to Ben Schwartz stated in an interview, that if Leo had an Instagram account, that 60 to 70% of his photos would be his brothers caught sleeping or slipping on things). And still. April has a dorky and little embarrassing pic of Donatello and this is... Interesting and cute?

This profile pic remind me about ROTTMNT: Sound off! (2nd issue)

The next station is “The Purple Game”.

Another episode in which the interaction of the characters is small in timing, but great in content.

And once again: they have a lot in common. I’d never tired of repeating this thing ‘cause the series do the same trick, showing one thing from different points of view. April and April shares the same taste in games, the same attitude, the same mojo. 

But the most important thing here is how D&A interacrions are shown in this episode. Unlike other episodes, the interaction here is indirect, is provided by gaming.

Their customized avatars reflects their personality. I mean, the colour schemes (though Donatello has never shown any interest in yellow, he used it for customization of his persona), the way their avatars looking. Game even refering to Sherlock_Corn as “she”, albeit it’s impossible to refer to her avatar in female pronoun. Because, you know, design and nickname?

And the in-game interaction of the avatars resembles D&A irl relationships. Bootyyyshaker 9000 don’t like togetherness, he’s looking like Donnie’s expectation of himself (cool and tough guy, as D sees himself in his own dreams)

Their dialogue

Actually. Actually, Donnie and April are not able to hear each other as game has no voice chat, but their lines make an perfect dialogue nevertheless.

April:Bootyshaker9000? Donnie? 

Donnie:April? You’re the last person I need to destroy to achive rank №1!

April:Ditto!

Both:There can only be one!

Donnie said the cheat combination, so April would know for sure what he is supposed to do, but she has no idea.

So, once again: their sync is incredible.

And can we talk about that?

April’s attack

As it seems, attacks may be customized by players. Bootyyshaker has attack that refers at Donatello main feature - superior intellect.

And this attack isn’t effective, because REAL April O’Neil has a resist towards it. She has known D for years, she knows what he’s capable of, she’s aware of his nerd side. April’s immune to it, so Sherlock_Corn is.

 Sherlock_corn has a default attack - kernel cannon. It’s nod to her nickname: kernel, corn, the same book. But her second atteck is something reflecting her personalitiy. Plus, April is aware of Donnie’s “fear” of togetherness. All’s fair in love and war, right?

April took a lot of BS9000 hp by her “friendly hugs”. And, by the way, his sweet reaction for hugs.

So:

The selection of the final opponent. It might be literally anyone, but we wouldn’t be able to see Dee’s obsession in that case. Yeah, he’s already had a  demon possesion ™, but it was too easy to him to win. No challenge. No “kill or be killed”, “It’s me or you” mojo.  He needed some tough gamer for challenging, to develop his character, push him too far. And  April, actually, is an excellent choice to reveal the character of certain purple turtle.To expose his true colours. And April do a great job: they know each other, so battle will be spicy, they are both compepitors, they are so alike, so it would be intersting to watch Donatello vs April. And it will, ‘cause In-game April and In-game Don is somewhat different than them usual.

April is Don’s slayer for sure. She’s good at gaming, her last attack was almost fatal for him. So he had to to cheated on her. 

Captain Cuddlecakes. Yes, she know about his afraid of togetherness. And there’s lovey-dovey attack animation with this cuddling and Donatello’s persona behaves like him. And it was SPECIAL RUN, so... I haven’t the foggiest why. Cute detail, I mean.

Just look at it.  Isn’t it cute?(at least we got their hugs somewhere... kinda. kinda.)

“Snow Day“, albeit  being family episode, shows a lot about D&A relationship through “family war”.

First of all, the same taste in films.   

Donnie’s already shown the same attitude to fashion, scary things as Cap O'Neil, April shares the same gamer’s mojo as Donatello, but now? We have Donnie and April that are loving the same movie.

For love of purple supernovas, of all the Jupiter Jim’s movies (and there are more than 60 of them), that's a convinient coincidence, they like the same movie.

It stated in series several times that Dee is fond of Atomic Lass. He had crush on her when he was child, he admires her by all his heart, so it will make sense if films with this character he would be his favourite. It’s logical, isn’t it?

Atomic Lass, even if she is part of JJ-universe, however, isn't in every movie. Leo described "JJ: Pluto vacation IV" and there is no sights of Atomic Lass. Like, at all. 

Nevertheless, April’s claimed that “PV-4” is the best movie of the time, and Don agrees. 

April:What the whaaaat? Hold up, Skip. “Jupiter Jim Pluto Vacation 4″ is the best JJ movie  of all time.

Donnie:Ranked, by us, just now. So it’s basically official, no arguing.

And they do this thing again. Reflecting each other. Facial expressions, intonations, poses and etc. Haven’t I mentiones that? Mirroring is natural way to build communication. People, who communicate enthusiastically, who have sympathy to each other, feelings of certain nature, unconsciously copy each other's poses.

Direct reflection and close contact have a strong effect. This is used between lovers, people with close relationships or interested in each other.

And you can see that during not only episode, but through the whole series. 

Poses, gestures, facial expressions they share constantly. Even if they are apart, they are mirroring each other, showing their bound. Because Apritello is not always about sitting close, holding hands and blushing. Apritello is about staying together even if they are not.  It’s about solid foundation, about synergy, about chemistry Donnie and April share. And all of these are not always so obvious and clear, evident. But so realistic nevertheless.

And that’s why they splitted off the fam - they are too close and alike. 

I stated it before but DonniexApril team is way more effective than Donniexbrothers team. Donatello and April are equal, worth each other. They are comfortable with each other, their teamwork is amazing. 

They are always near, close to each other for the entire episode. Stand up for each other, side by side. They have no need to do team-building, because their sincronization is incredible. April works well together with Donnie, their skills compliment each other. 

I love that April in a first place look at Donnie to check is everything alright.

And a cherry on top?

This inviting gesture. Donnie just watched all along how his brothers and April try to throw some cold water on this situation (khem, it slipped). But when April call him with this inviting gesture, he’d like to help. 

In other words, he was waitng when April requests for his help.    

Composition’s boners

Sometimes it happens during the show, but this episode beat hte score at this point. I say only one word: physics. Or, more precisely, the force of attraction. Or, maybe Mayham.

... Anyway.

Fitting in the type

April can play not so nice against her enemies, she got steady hand and meanness, merciless and reclessness. She’s passionate and kinda badass, sassy - in a positive way, she’s baddest girl who can kick your butt if you mess with her, and she really good at this. 

She has a fire, and Donnie likes that. Dee never stated that directly but miss O’Neil impressed him so many times and in different way so it’s kinda pretty obvious. 

Just look how Donatello reacted the way April took Raph down a peg. Her actions are elegant, relaxed but really sly. She almost dare Raph to put his flag on top only to bring him down to Earth in really painful way. She destroyed Bros’ team so easily just by waiting a bit and by calling Mayham. 

She’s definetely got some pepper.

Pretty cute but baddest, don’t you think?

And Donnie was impressed for sure, he admitted it - “That is fun for me”. He don’t even stand a chance, c’mon: she’s smarass and elegant, she can be mean and cute at the same time. 

Even though that’s it for season 1 analysis (the last series is more appropriate  to review as part of 2nd season, plus it was a reaally big post, I need some time)

You can refresh this whole situation in the car 1 and the car 2 or follow the hashtag #apritello express as you please. It’s a pleasure of mine, keep in touch :)

[heyheydidjaknow]

Okay, so I am just the worst. I'm very sorry for that. I will make an effort to stop being the worst. I'm already starting writing for the next chapter. It will be out next week. If it is not, please pester me until it is. If nothing else, the next chapter should be relatively interesting, so.

Chapter 15

“So then I was like, ‘Screw you, man, you don’t know me.’ Because he was being a dick.”

You nod, taking another sip from your straw. “So he was.”

“Well,” Casey continues, gesturing with his pizza slice, “that’s why he gave me a black eye on the ice. And now Annie won’t talk to me.”

With a sigh, you reach up, wincing slightly as the muscles in your back crack. “Well,” you smile tiredly, “that does sound like a predicament. Want me to try talking to her?”

“Nah.” He leans against his hand, taking a bite of his food. “It’s whatever. Didn’t like her, anyway.”

You smirk. “Bullshit.”

“Smartass.” He rolls his busted eyes. “How’s your boyfriend?”

“Nonexistent.”

“Bullshit,” he mimics. “Isn’t he all over you?”

“Hardly.” You wave your hand dismissively. “‘Sides, he doesn’t want a relationship, I bet.”

“You slept together.” He swallows. “You slept together and he didn’t make a pass at you.”

“What does that prove?” You take another drink. “Just because he or I want it to happen doesn’t mean that it should.”

“Bullshit,” he sings once more. “You’re just scared of commitment, I bet.”

Your face flushes. “That’s not it!”

“Then why not ask him?”

“Look,” you fumble for an excuse that was not ‘He’s a ninja,’ “he’s really busy, what with his sports and science stuff. I’m lucky he has time for me at all; what we have is fine until things calm down a bit with him.”

“So never.”

“Pretty much.”

Another bite. “If he’s so smart, won’t he be going off to Harvard or some shit? Shoot your shot.”

“Who are you to give me relationship advice?” You push him, placing your hand on the pizza box between you on the bench. “You just fucked up with Johanna.”

“Maybe the reason you two are still virgins is that you’re both smartasses.”

“We’re like fifteen!” You laugh. “What, you’re a lady killer now?”

“Hey, I’ve made my rounds.” He grins. “You know the blond chick? Jenny?”

You stick your tongue out at him. “She is completely out of your league, Jones,” you huff. “Know your place.”

“And she’s in yours?”

“Did I say that?” You take another sip. “No, I did not.”

He sighs. “I’m gonna set you up.”

You blink at this sudden change in subject matter. “Huh?”

“There’s this guy on the team who has a thing for you.” He takes another bite of his pizza. “I promised I’d try.”

“Out of the goodness of your heart?”

“Surprisingly, yes.” He leans back on the bench, head flopping back. “We’ve been buddies for a while.”

Your eyes trace the cracks in the pavement carelessly, weighing your options. “Where?”

“I’m looking for a yes or no.”

You fiddle with your collar. “Which guy?”

“Carter from bio.”

With bright green eyes, long black hair, you can hardly describe him as ugly. A bit pompous, but not irredeemably so. The idea of going on a date with another man-- another human, no less-- is hardly unappealing, especially given the fact that you are almost completely certain that whatever you have going on between yourself and Donatello is going to go exactly nowhere. It would be nice, you know, to go out to lunch or dinner with a pretty boy.

Your gut tells you it is a bad idea. Your gut also told you to go try and check out Shredder’s lair that one time, and now you could not walk.

“I’m down.” Why not? Life is about taking risks that do not result in your lack of motor functions. “You got his number?”

He nods, pulling his phone out of his pocket and texting you the contact. “He’s a good guy,” he promises. “He’s not gonna try shit, probably.”

“You sound certain.”

“Shut up.” He scrolls through his phone. “Who knows, though? Maybe you’ll like him more than your guy and you won’t have to keep pining over him.”

“And there’s the ulterior motive.” You cross your arms, setting the cup on the ground. “If I get stood up, it’s your ass.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He leans his head back forward, picking at his nails absentmindedly. “Whatcha gonna do? Fight me?”

You smirk. “It’s as realistic as you getting with Jennifer Barker.”

“And that’s my cue to leave.” He stands up, wiping his hands on his jeans and taking the box. “I’m taking this.”

“Have at it,” you follow suit, checking the time. “Don’t eat it all at once.”

“I will absolutely ignore your advice.”

“Obviously.” You wave. “See ya tomorrow.”

“See ya.”

The walk home is long, as always, but with every passing day, you get better at walking with one good leg. Having lost it in the dumpster with little more than reassurance that knowing whoever took it needed it more than you do, you have learned a thing or two about balance, and yet you still quietly long for your other leg. ‘It would be nice to be able to run places,’ you muse. ‘It would make me feel better about walking around at this time of night.’ With all the walking you have to do— you still do not have a metro card because you are foolish— you are still relatively strong, but getting places without hobbling and having the option to run away would be nice.

You unlock the door to your apartment. ‘Just a couple more days before I can walk properly again.’ You pull it open, kicking your shoe off.

Someone is sitting on your couch.

You take a shaky step back— ‘I can’t run’—, tripping on your feet and falling on your back in the hallway, your drink spilled on the floor. It is as if your body is struck with lightning, every nerve on edge as you crawl away, voice caught in your throat as you try and get as far away from the door as possible. Your body drags with you.

Too slow.

A hand grabs your ankle. It drags you back into the room with barely a grunt, and with a slam, the door shuts, and you are locked with a figure whose face you cannot see.

The door locks.

The figure lets go of your ankle, heart pounding in your heart as you try and reach for the doorknob, tears pricking your eyes. You can barely use your hands again, progress gone in an instant. ‘Don’t kill me.’ You pray to stop shaking. ‘I can’t die here. Not after everything that’s happened.’

The light clicks on.

“What the fuck is your deal?”

Your eyes snap open. A rush of embarrassment slams into you, a wave of shame making you hot all over as you become painfully aware of the fact that you look absolutely pathetic, clawing at the door.

You pull yourself to your feet shakily, turning back to look at Raphael. “You,” you mumble, opening the door and grabbing your keys from off the floor, not even bothering with the cup, “are the fucking worst.”

“You’re the one that’s all jumpy.” He rolls his eyes, sitting back on the couch. “Who did you think it was?”

You scramble for another answer. “I don't know,” you snap. “If you didn’t know, I’d like to introduce you to the concept of texting someone before you sit ominously on their couch.”

“You’ll live.”

“Barely!”

He sighs. “Sit. We have to talk.”

You toss your keys onto the counter, shakily hobbling over to the kitchen, hands clenched still. “You talk.” Your voice starts to stabilize. “I’m going to have a drink and wish it was alcohol.”

“Do you remember the first month you were here?” He crisscrosses his legs. “A week or so in?”

You lean down, grabbing a drink container. “When Mikey almost got kidnapped? Yeah.”

“Do you remember what you said?”

“Do I remember what I said over two months ago? No, I do not.” You set it on the counter, reaching into the cabinet and pulling a plastic cup down. You consider a glass one but did not want to clean glass shards off of your floor again.

“Then let me remind you.” He leans back into your couch. “You said, and I quote, that Shredder doesn’t get close to murdering Master Splinter until season two, whatever that means.”

You nod, setting your hands on the counter until they stop shaking. “What about it?”

“Shredder gets close to killing my father.”

You sigh, dreading the ensuing conversation. “Look,” you reason, “it probably won’t get to that if we’re smart.”

“The first word I think of when I think about our group is not smart.”

“It’s one guy.” You lean against your hand. “So long as he doesn’t pull a Leo and martyrs himself—“

He cuts you off. “What does martyr mean?”

“If he doesn’t throw himself in harm's way for the sake of the greater good—“

“So my Leo throws himself in harm’s way?”

“Have you met your brother?” You try and grab your cup. “Of course he does.”

His eyes widen. “So you’re telling me my brother dies too?”

“I did not say that.”

“But you—“

“The point,” you snap, “is that so long as your father values his own safety, he will be fine. There are preventative measures that we can take to make sure he doesn’t kick the bucket, so for now, worry about how you’re going to survive.”

He gets up. “How does he go the first time?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

“Why?” He stands in front of you, staring you down. “Why won’t you?”

“Because you’ll kill yourself over it.” You pick up your cup, taking a sip. “If I told you what happened in the future, you’d pull something to try and defy that, right? Then we wouldn’t even know what it was anymore, and our one tactical advantage would be shot."

“But—“

“I only tell you,” you cut him off, “about certain things so you can prepare to face them, not to try and avoid them. There are very few exceptions to that rule.” You set the cup back down, staring back. “There are things we can do to prevent things from happening, but not right now. Right now, our top priority is to make sure the Kraang don’t kill us all.”

“How come you get to know stuff we don’t?”

“Because.”

He throws his hands up. “Oh, well if that’s the reason—“

“Do you have anything else you wanna say or are you planning on just being up my ass?”

He closes his eyes, hands together as he takes a slow, deep breath. “Yes, actually.”

“What?”

“Karai approached us today when we went to check our Donnie’s stupid signal thing.” He opens them again. “She wants to team up.”

“Cool.” Your voice softens. “That’s good.”

He leans against the counter. “Can we trust her?”

You take another drink. “Trust is a strong word right now,” you sigh. “Aligning with her is a good idea, though. Just trust her as far as you can throw her.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well,” you shrug, “you can trust her to get you things and give you access to stuff. Just keep your guard up is all. Be diplomatic about it and you’ll be fine.”

He nods. “Cool.” He smiles. “Donnie’s been very anti-Karai so far.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He chuckles. “No idea why?”

You shake your head. “Thought he’d like having a kunoichi on his side.”

“You’d think.”

“Well, he’s gotta get over it some time.” You take another drink. “Preferably sooner than later, though. Fucking with Karai…” you shudder. “She’s incredibly powerful. If we can stay on her good side, it would make our lives easier.”

“Ours, you mean.”

“I have a stake in this too, you know.”

He scoffs. “How?”

“We’re on the same planet.” You reach down, fixing your pants over your cast. “Plus, I’m a target of the foot by association.”

“You aren’t fighting with us.”

“Would you rather I did?” You look back up at him. “Because when I do it seems it’s in the wrong way.”

“It would be helpful if you weren’t useless.”

“But I am, so it isn’t.”

“I guess.”

You stand back up straight. “Is that all?”

“Nope.” He walks back to the couch, sitting down. “I’m staying here a bit. Leo’s being an ass.”

“How so?”

“Same way as per usual.” He leans back into the couch. “Thinks he’s better than everyone.”

“And you don't have a better place to hang?”

He shrugs. “My brother likes you well enough. Besides, I want to know the person who’s making all of these big decisions in my life.”

“So it’s because you don’t like me?”

“Kinda, yeah.”

You take another sip from your drink. “That sounds paradoxical.”

“So?”

“So,” you lean your head against your hand, “why would you want to talk to me if you don’t like me?”

“Because your brother likes you,” he repeated. “If you’re going to be hanging around a ton I might as well try to like you.”

You smile. “That is incredibly mature of you, Hamato.”

A scoff. “You can’t call us all Hamato.”

“Watch me.” You hum, taking another sip from your drink. “Can I get you anything, by the way?”

“I’m good.”

“Suit yourself.” You reach into your bag— luckily, nothing has fallen out— and pull out your phone. “I just need you out by eleven-thirty. It’s a school night.”

“Even without being involved in our fights,” he shakes his head, “you are a total pussy.”

“Suck me.” You grab it off the counter, carefully carrying your cup to your bed. “And keep the noise down. “My neighbors have been pleasant and I want it to stay that way.”

“Buzzkill. You clearly don’t spend enough time with Mikey.”

“You know,” you grin, pulling out your notes as you sit down, “your brother says the opposite. Donnie, I mean.”

“I figured.”

You glance over at the window as he fiddles with the remote. “How did you get in?”

“The window.”

“No shit.” You look back over at him. “Red button, but I lock the window."

“No, you didn’t.” He clicks the button. “It was unlocked when I got here.”

“Huh.” Another stream of electricity flows through your veins. ‘They know where I live.’ You swallow.

“Must’ve forgotten.”

You did not. You would not forget. There was no way you could have, or would have, forgotten to do something like that.

“Must’ve.”

Table of Contents

Chapter 14

Chapter 16

[samanthaswishes]

Agents of SHIELD Rewatch Season 1B (ep. 12-22)

Here's my commentary on my rewatch of Agents of SHIELD Season 1 Episodes 12-22. This may not be the best commentary since these are just the thoughts and opinions that come to my mind as I watch the episodes rather than a full-blown analysis, but I'm just having fun with it!

1x12 Seeds

I don't know about you guys, but I've always wanted to go to the SHIELD Academy since I first watched this episode. Personally, I think I'd be in communications just cause I'm not good at anything physical or science. Plus, it sounds kinda fun. And it's the easiest to get into so that's probably the only one I qualify for haha😅

I like how Weaver just completely skips over Skye in introducing herself.

The Wall of Valor scene is so funny to watch now after Season 7 because Daniel Sousa's name is on that wall and like 5-6 years later, he's Skye's husband boyfriend.

The fact that May knew what was going on the whole time with Coulson while she was trying to draw his attention away from it.

I love how May talking at all means that some things is up.

Also, this is probably the start of May really caring for Skye. Even though she was doing it to take Coulson's mind someplace else, she cared enough about Skye to do this for her.

For someone who's been off-grid for 23 years, Lumley's still got it.

Also, the fact that he knew exactly what they were there for. He saw them and knew immediately that it was about Daisy.

Hearing the story feels so different after season 2 since we know that Whitehall had originally raided the village followed by Cal and Jiaying killing everyone in search of Daisy.

I get that the protocol was created to protect Skye, but it's honestly sad that none of them thought of the emotional ramifications it would have on Skye. Even though she learns that's what happened, that doesn't change the abuse and feelings of loneliness she grew up with. Again, THE SHOW SHOULD HAVE EXPLORED HER PAST MORE.

Also sad that the scene with Agent Tad (played by Zachary Burr Abel aka Elizabeth's fiance) was cut.

I honestly kinda feel bad for Donnie. Seth used him for money then he was later brainwashed by Hydra and unfortunately, had to be killed.

Skye thought she did something wrong when Coulson wouldn't look at her (Again, not to be protective about Skye, but damn somebody give her a hug.)

"I can get there." "Yeah, I can't get there"

COULSON HOLDING SKYE'S HAND AS THEY ENTER THE STORM BEING SUCH A DADDDD!!

"Who do you become?" UGH THE FORESHADOWING TO 2x10 OMG.

1x13 T.R.A.C.K.S.

TIME FOR THE BEST EPISODE OF THE SEASON AND ONE OF THE BEST EPISODES OF THE WHOLE SERIES

May looks so good in this episode.

I also love Skye's outfit, but too bad it had to get ruined when she got SHOT.

"Wait, you told him?" "YEP" Oh, May I love you.

Does anyone else get kinda uncomfortable when Fitz speaks with an American accent? Like it's so unnatural to me. (Iain does an amazing accent. It's just weird to me that the accent is coming out of his mouth)

"PrOsTiTuTeS!"

"Prostitutes? Plural?"

I love the Jemma and Coulson duo. So happy it came back in 7x03 with almost the same energy.

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO HESITATE TO PUNCH HER WARD!? AND DON'T ACT LIKE YOU'VE GOT MORALS. YOU'RE FUCKING HYDRA.

"My men are dead" Cause May got the best of you idiot.

The ICONIC holo table scene. We love to see it.

I love how in a matter of seconds, we see just how much of a badass May is while also showing how big of a heart she has towards the people she cares about.

I. LOVE. MELINDA. MAY.❤️❤️

We really got some Philinda action in this episode.

Fitz's comment to Skye is basically the right idea, but executed horribly (he said it to ease her nerves but it only made her more scared of herself) which you can't blame him for since he doesn't know what exactly she's referring to just yet.

On my first watch, I KNEW something bad was going to happen when Skye said she wanted to go in alone.

But props to Skye cause before she's cornered in that basement, she actually handles herself really well.

Here's the second Skye/Daisy choke out of the series, and what do you know, it's in front of Quinn AGAIN.

As soon as Quinn raised the gun in Mike's hand, I knew Skye was going to get hurt when I first watched it.

Oh god, Skye crying out for help always gets me.

Coulson goes into Protective Dad Mode™ as soon as he sees the blood on Quinn's hand, and he already knows it's Skye's blood.

Coulson holding Skye on the ground and just repeating "hang on" gets me every time too.

I love how much the team has grown to care about Skye over the past 13 episodes. Even though they haven't known each other long, her being on the verge of death affects all of them, and none of them can imagine their lives without her.

Leave me alone to cry😭

1x14 T.A.H.I.T.I.

The whole beginning of this episode feels so intense and heartbreaking.

I love how May's the one to bring everyone back in and say that none of them were at fault.

WHEN THE DOCTOR COMES OUT AND YOU CAN SEE IT IN HER FACE THAT IT'S NOT GOOD AHHH.

"We're her family" YES YOU FUCKING ARE I'M GONNA GO CRY IN THE CORNER NOW😭

AND THE FULL MAMA BEAR MAY FINALLY MAKES HER APPEARANCE!

I will never not be sick of watching May beat the crap out of Ian Quinn. It's literally one of my favorite scenes ever.

We love Bill Paxton here.

Also, TRIP!! I LOVE AND MISS YOU TRIP.

I was low-key (but very much high-key now) rooting for Trip to win the little fight between him and Ward...

The whole giant file thing (echo chamber I think they call it) still makes no sense to me. Like how do you tell what is what and where you are in the files?

Honesly, if they went the Trip and Simmons route, I wouldn't have even been mad (even though I personally did ship him and Skye for a bit in s2.)

Ugh the whole Skye almost flatlining to the bunker collapsing to injecting Skye with the GH-325 is intense.

We love Protective Dad™ Coulson.

1x15 Yes Men

She's getting better😆

You did amazing Skye. Don't think so low of yourself.

Skye's got 'Welcome Wagon' catching on😉

LADY SIF!!!!!!

I love May's face when Sif explains how Lorelei's powers only work on men cause they have a weakness that women don't have.

I love that Sif already knows how to use the holo table. Coulson must be feeling do bad right now haha🤣

And the Night-Night Gun becomes the ICER.

When I first watched this, I didn't understand Coulson's reasoning, but now I am totally on his side. They didn't know what the drug was (well, he did but you know), but it was so protected that it must've been off SHIELD books for a reason.

Mulan moment with May and Sif's sword.

"He will not hesitate to kill you" I mean, in 1x19 he was pretty ready to kill her and he wasn't mind controlled then.

Yep. May's ready to murder Lorelei.

What's with Simmons and that fire extuingisher? It’s the second time this season.

May beating up Ward in this episode is very satisfying.

I don't know about y'all but I'm almost positive Ward pressed the trigger on the gun AFTER Sif put the necklace on Lorelei.

"I'm not saying you were weak. I'm saying ALL men are weak."

THE MAY REVEAL!!!!!

1x16 End of the Beginning

The start of the Winter Soldier tie in!

SKYE’S A SHIELD AGENT NOWWWWW

Ward looks like he’s not happy that she’s an agent now.

“I’m no clairvoyant” he says as he’s following the ‘clairvoyant’

THE LUMERIAN STARRRRR

Don’t wish Sitwell luck, Coulson. He’s Hydra and Bucky’s about to yank him out of a moving car and yeet him across the freeway.

How did Fitz and Simmons not think May was being suspicious. She’s good at hiding it things, but in that moment, she was acting so different and her tone was different as well.

“Are you scorpio?” Yes actually. Ming-Na Wen is indeed a scorpio.

“Don’t call me Vic. It’s condescending.”

I just now realized Garrett checking out Fitz’s golden retrievers. That probably when he decided he wanted to come to Hydra.

Garrett was probably down there making sure Thomas Bash was set up.

Coulson gonna protect his new daughter from harm.

Ward don’t act all heroic. You knew that guy wasn’t the clairvoyant. God I’m so happy the betrayal episode is next.

“DoN’t UsE mY nAmE jEmMa”

HE’S AN AGENT OF SHIELD

If I was Fitz and I was peeking into May’s line and she caught me, I’d shit my pants.

“I didn’t do anything”🙅‍♂️

Okay, but what was the point of the ICER? Like why was she gonna ice him?

I kinda believe that if Skye hadn’t came in when she did, Coulson may have actually figured Ward out.

And there’s the Victoria Hand fake out.

1x17 Turn, Turn, Turn

Okay but Garret just flying the plane and reading a book is a whole mood.

I was so scared that Trip was Hydra when I first watched this episode.

DID COULSON REALLY HAVE TO SHOOT MAY WITH THE REAL GUN!?

“Booyah!”💥

H Y D R A

Garrett, Coulson’s a whole lot smarter than you thought.

*cue Among Us music*

YOU’RE ONE TO TALK WARD JUST SHUT UP ALREADY

I completely understand Coulson’s anger, but May was completely under orders and I feel like he would’ve done the same thing if he had been ordered to.

I completely missed the part where 2 different teams stormed the Bus, so that means both a shield and a hydra team were coming for them.

“You haven’t even taught me to hold up under torture yet” “We’ll get to that. It’s fun”

YES TRIP!

Hand is kinda twisting the events of what actually happened.

How did those agents that were running towards the closet not see the door open? Like it’s not hard to miss.

SHUT YOUR MOUTH WARD

I did ship SkyeWard when I watched s1 for the first time. Now, I’m just counting down the days until Skye/Daisy’s lips will be touching Daniel’s instead of this murderer’s.

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE GARRETT SLIP-UP SCENE!!

IAIN BRINGING TEARS TO THIS SCENE

MAY DOING THE BLACK WIDOW MOVE!!

So Victoria Hand and that strike team just waited until the fight was done to enter?

“How deep does it go?” YOU HAVE A MOLE ON YOUR TEAM COULSON

I do wish I didn’t get spoiled that Ward was Hydra the first time I watched it. That reaction would’ve been amazing.

1x18 Providence

It's been a few weeks since I last watched haha😅

RAINA'S BACK. I frickin love Raina.

And suddenly Ward is all evil and shit. It's been what? 12 hours at most?

"You're not clairvoyant?" Well, Raina, guess who is going to be in a season.

Was I the only one who was annoyed by Fitz kinda getting on Jemma and Trip? He claims they're ganging up on him, but they're right. Plus, he's the one who told Trip to turn it on only to scream at him and get mad. I'm probably reading too much into this cause my likings of Fitz have gone down significantly since I first watched, but I digress.

YAY TRIP IS ON THE TEAM NOW

I don't really like the side plot of Fitz being jealous of Trip and acting like he's the bad guy.

"We have internet" "Yayyy"

Just drop him already, Skye. He's not worth it.

No surprise to anyone but Grant Ward is an asshole.

I get he still likes her, but if he knew someone on the team was going to get hurt eventually, why the hell is Ward so mad about it? I guess I just hate that he still cares about her because it's so DISGUSTING!!🤮

Jesus Juice™

Poor Skye. She was only SHIELD for a day.

To be honest, I understand the team's reserves about the situation.

SHUT UP WARD

You're no one's type, Ward.

Him repeating what he said at the beginning of the season is so awkward idk why😂

SCREW GARRETT AND SCREW WARD

She is concerned, Phil. I hate this whole Coulson and May conflict.

ngl May could definitely take Coulson on if she were to take his 'weapon'

These agents are so stupid. No Hand, no opening the door. Seriously? It's not that hard. If they were told to only open the doors with Hand, then that's what they have to do ESPECIALLY right now.

Skye has the cutest snow outfit with her little purple beanie💜

See, this part I can admit that I understand where Fitz is coming from. I, too, struggle so much with change. My mind is constantly thinking about ways things would be if certain things didn't change, and my mind kind of just feeds off of that.

Coulson's "agents of nothing" speech still hits hard.

Again, SKYE IS SO SMART AND CLEVER!

KOENIG!!!!!!!!

We love the lanyards.

Funny how when he mentions 'brother' none of us knew he had 3 more brothers that look exactly like him (and a sister).

"Pull the plane in" SO THEY HAVE TO WALK ALL THE WAY BACK?!

"At least the machine gun didn't start shooting at you." I WISH IT DID.

I too regret that Garrett didn't rip Quinn's tongue out.

And that's the last time we will ever see gravitonium until season 5!

1x19 Only Light in the Darkness

We finally get the story of the cellist.

Okay, but what happened to all the other criminals locked up in the Fridge? Are they still on the run?

Why does almost every bad guy have to listen to classical music?

Skye sounded so scared when she said Ian Quinn🥺

Was Koenig not informed Coulson had a whole team? He seems so mad that there are other people besides Coulson.

During this whole scene we learn that May was once married, Trip is the grandson of a Howling Commando, and Skye's name from the orphanage was Mary Sue Poots.

I’ve never watched anything Doctor Who related and know very little about it, but Jemma being a Doctor Who fangirl is adorable.

Why is this the only time Ward's sister is mentioned? Like, was she just never around?

Koenig should've shot Ward right then and there. If there were spikes, that's a major red flag. I'm sure the team would understand if he had said, "he was lying. He's Hydra."

Again, Fitz hating on Trip is pretty annoying.

And that's why you don't go jogging at night.

We love Skye hacking into government agencies.

And Simmons is still a terrible liar.

"It was like he came out of a movie." Haha.... ha

They were planning a trip to Tahiti🥺😩

"I wake up like he's watching over me." Haha... ha… HA

What made Ward think he could take out Melinda May?

Bye, Eric. It was nice knowing you.

I feel like Skye was truly sad when May left. Probably felt abandoned like when she was in foster care and masked it by being angry/annoyed.

AHH, THIS SCENE! The cello in the background with Skye finding out Ward is Hydra is phenomenal!

Chloe does such an amazing performance in this scene!

UGh Ward's obsession with Skye is WEIRD and CREEPY and I DON'T LIKE IT!

DON'T TOUCH HER LIKE THAT WARD!!

Lian May has canonically met Maria Hill, and I love that.

1x20 Nothing Personal

MARIA HILLLLL

I love that Coulson finally came around on the May situation.

And that's when Coulson goes into Full Dad Mode™.

Skye is really doing such a better job at staying undercover and staying relaxed than Ward.

Hello General Talbot. Can't wait for the love/hate relationship we're gonna have for the next four seasons.

We love Melinda May going grave robbing.

WE LOVE SKYE

Skye would have actually succeeded if Mike didn't come into play. She did so well.

Skye beating Ward for the small moment is my favorite thing in the whole episode.

Ward sympathizers always ignore this scene. WARD IS A BIG FAT FRICKIN NAZI.

"Sacrifices" BOY you haven't sacrificed anything for yourself. You sacrifice other people and things that are special to those people. Don't act like you've given up so much.

No one talks about the mental manipulation Skye went through in this episode, and we really need to.

YES COULSON GO GET YOUR DAUGHTER

I'd only want to go sky diving if it was done in Lola

Coulson giving Skye a candy bar from the vending machine always makes me soft.

"hUH"

1x21 Ragtag

The flashback parts of this episode enrages me for some reason. Like, are you trying to make me sympathize with a nazi? Cause it's not working.

You all will be in Bogota in about two years to pick up someone very special😉

I love fanboy Coulson.

May and Coulson pretending to be Fitzsimmons is one of my favorite things.

"May looks barely a day over... THIRTY! YOU'RE GORGEOUS!"

Sleepy Sleep Gun™

You never want to be stuck in an elevator with Melinda May. Or you absolutely do. Depends on the situation.

"DoEs YoUr SwEaTeR iTcH?"

Season 1 is a fun one to rewatch after having had watched the whole series because they set so much stuff up for season 2 in this season.

"Skye, Trip, get ready for a large file transfer." "How large?" Y E E T

^ Still one of my favorite scenes ever.

Again, this episode is not getting me to feel bad for Ward.

I hate how Fitz just ignores Skye's experience with Ward. He wants to prove that Ward isn't evil when Skye experienced firsthand what kind of person Ward is. It’s like her experience doesn’t matter to him. It literally takes until Ward has affected him personally does he see it.

Again, no one talks about the mental manipulation done to Skye in the last episode.

AND HERE WE HAVE THE TRUE BEGINNINGS OF MAMA MAY AND DAISY!

"We'Re GoInG tO cUbA😃"

"Garrett's dying!" GOOD

I do understand that Garrett manipulated Ward, but STILL. I feel like Ward could've redeemed himself before the finale but everything he's done after the turn is absolutely terrible (not excusing every terrible thing he did as hydra before the show btw). Once he reached the point of no return, it's honestly hard to even sympathize with him. Ward deserves nothing.

ANOTHER THING! People say Ward gave Fitzsimmons the best possible option for survival. HOW DOES THAT NEGATE THE FACT THAT HE THREW THEM OUT OF THE PLANE AND INTO THE OCEAN. And don't even get me started on people saying "it was supposed to float." Yeah, the containment pod can, which wasn't invented until SEASON 3!!! I'm pretty sure what they're in is the medical pod that Skye was in after she was shot. I'm almost positive that it doesn't have a floating feature (unless I missed a line completely, but I don’t think I did. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong).

1x22 Beginning of the End

OMG, IT'S NORM FROM WANDAVISION!!!!

That guy's first mistake was approaching May and immediately calling her the Cavalry.

Okay, but did Garrett immediately start writing, but Coulson needed to see the writing first?

^Nevermind. I answered my own question. Tahiti. The false memories. That's it.

Fitz breaking his arm in the same exact places he did when he was a kid reminds me of how my younger brother has been stung by a bee twice on the same pinky finger.

What's with this season and using the "Bob's your uncle" line?

"What will I become?" AHHHHHHHH

Hey! Jemma! I was miserable and upside down before I was born too!!

Oh, Trip I miss you.

"GoOd BoY"

And also I love Skye. I don't know if I've mentioned it.

"i LoVe YoU tOo"

I don't mind Fitz telling Jemma about his feelings. (Yes, I have issues with the situation he told her in, but in a generalized sense, I don't mind) What I do mind is how he acted after the fact in season 2 just because Simmons didn't reciprocate the feelings. She obviously still loves him, he’s her best friend.

FURYYYYYYYYYYY

YESSSS MAYYY! I FUCKING LOVE YOU SO MUCH! IVE BEEN WANTING TO DO THAT TO WARD ALL SEASON!!!!!

"Hi John" *punch* "Hi Phil" *punch*

"I KNOW WHAT IT DOES"

"You were never on top" I LOVE THAT LINEEEE

"What are we?" WE'RE A TEAM😭

Coulson's an Avenger!!!! Fury said so!

HELLO BILLY KOENIG

And there's Cal!

Ugh I forgot how good this finale is.

[limeblood-exe]

A Singular, Bloody Mattress (part 1)

tw: blood

The warehouse door bursts open, slamming against the concrete wall; the sharp sound thundering through the thick silence of night. Dust plumes and scatters as the old and abused door falls off its rusted hinges, the only sign of movement besides three masked figures who stealthily make their way inside. 

Mikey, wielding an odachi in place of his signature kusari-fundo, frantically glances around the abandoned mattress warehouse, surveying for any threats amongst the giant columns and rows of mattresses with an uncharacteristic expression of apprehension smearing his features. Joined in his search, Donnie approaches a much shorter column of mattresses, about his height, and stops to inspect one with his goggles.

“All clear,” Mikey whispers, determining that the deafening silence means that no present danger is lurking in the shadows. Not that they really expected any threats from a mattress store, but anything's possible when with them. 

Glancing behind him at Raph, who stood back for the all clear before entering any further into the building, he waits for further instruction from his leader.

Raph, holding a blanketed figure in his arms, nods at Mikey, and both relax their posture at the promise of no current danger.

“Do you think we were followed?”

Sharing Mikey’s worried expression, Raph tries to smile in an effort to placate his distressed younger brother, though it probably comes out more as a grimace when replying, “With that cool stunt you pulled off earlier? Not a chance. I don’t think those freaky Foot guys were expecting to get roasted with that fire tornado of yours. I bet you they’re running back home with their tails between their legs!”

Mikey responds in kind with a timid smile; he’s always welcome to any of his older brothers’ praise, soaking them up like a needy sponge. Besides, it was pretty cool what he did back there.

None of them had expected to be jumped by those two Foot dudes, having just left April’s house from a fun night of trying out the new board games her parents bought her. Now that he’s thinking back on it, they probably should have been more concerned with the fact that their enemies had actively sought them out rather than the turtles running into them by happenstance. The paper ninjas they commonly used were totally different this time around, and not just because of the change of color scheme (an ugly shade of dark green, if you were to ask Mikey his professional opinion). 

They didn’t have any hands.

Well, they did have hands, just in the shape of blades.

Really, really sharp blades.

The vomit-colored paper was obviously mystic, no inspection from Donnie needed. No paper should be allowed to cut cleanly through concrete for goodness sake. It shouldn’t be allowed to cut through shells, either-

Remembering why they were seeking shelter in the first place, Mikey’s gaze darts down to the bundle in Raph’s gentle hold, the blood seeping through the blue blanket. His face immediately falls, and he feels queasy at the sight of the red puddle already starting to form on the floor. Blood that should be inside his brother, not drenching some stranger’s blanket they stole from a clothes’ line. Mikey opens his mouth but before he can voice his question, he is interrupted by a heavy “plop” to his right. Bodies tensed, Ralph and Mikey whip around for the cause of the noise, only to see Donnie airing out one of the mattresses. Dust clouds the surrounding air, getting caught in the lungs of his unsuspecting brothers and a massive coughing fit follows. Donnie, unperturbed, just drags the offending mattress away from the dust cloud and drops it to the floor, wiping his hands against his thighs with a look of disgust on his face.

Facing Raph, Donnie says, “Lay him down here. I can't get a proper looksy otherwise,” while nodding in the direction of the mattress.

Following his brother's directions, Raph stifles down a cough as he kneels down next to the mattress, but hesitates for a brief moment.

“Don’t worry, Raph, I already scanned it. They’re safe. These mattresses are definitely older than most of Splinter’s clothing, but just as filthy, if you were to ask me, but they’re relatively clean,” Donnie reaffirms him.

“It’s not that, Donnie.”

And it's not. Not really. Swallowing thickly, Raph gently lays down his far-too-quiet and limp brother to the mattress, trying to be as slow and careful his large body will allow him. While Raph was as gentle as he could possibly be, even the faintest of movement jostles his younger brother, and a pitiful whimper escapes from his throat. Raph can’t help but wince, as hurting his own flesh and blood, even unintentionally, makes him feel sick to his stomach.

It doesn’t help that Leo looks absolutely awful. From what’s peaking out from the blanket, his eyes are pressed tightly shut, skin cool and clammy to the touch, and sweat beads at his creased forehead. He sounds awful, too, with his rattling lungs gasping for air like he just got done running a marathon, as if he wasn’t just carried for three whole blocks. Raph may not have as extensive of medical knowledge as Leo and Donnie do, what with Donnie’s general interest in all sciences and Leo being the medic of the team, but he knows signs of shock when he sees it.

His brother has lost far too much blood for comfort.

Donnie wastes no time in getting to work, carefully unwrapping Leo from the blanket. Donnie and Raph hiss at what is revealed from the confines of the blanket; a deep gash on the lower left side of Leo’s abdomen, his plastron having been neatly cut through deep enough to injure the skin and tissue that was supposed to be protected by thick shell. Thick rivulets of blood seep from the wound and cascade down Leo’s side even with the gray hoodie, also stolen, wrapped tightly around him to halt the bleeding.

“That doesn’t look good, Donnie,” Raph whispers after a second, trying (and failing) to reel in his worried thoughts about how quiet Leo is. He’s never quiet; it's basically Leo's given nature to never shut up. Yet, here they are now, and Raph would give up just about anything to hear one of Leo’s one-liners.

"No, no it does not," Donnie nods in agreement. His brows are deeply furrowed as he gently prods the edges of Leo’s laceration. 

“I’ll have to analyze just how deep the wound is. I have to get the bleeding under control, too, or he won’t even make it back to the lair in time,” Donnie states matter-of-factly. If Raph didn’t know his brother any better or notice the slight shake in his voice or the way his hands trembled, he might believe that Donnie seemed unfazed by his brother’s condition. But he knows, and they all know, that Donnie's attempts at appearing emotionless is just a facade he hides under.

As Donnie starts to delicately remove the sodden hoodie, the fabric gets caught on the jagged skin, causing Leo to let out a sudden gasp, back arching from the sudden pain, and his breathing becomes more erratic. Recoiling, Donnie puts a placating hand on Leo's cheek.

“Shit! Sorry, sorry,” Donnie mutters to Leo, gently thumbing away the tears that start streaming down his face. Raph is so taken aback by Leo’s reaction that he doesn’t even bother to chastise Donnie for his potty mouth.

"Is… is Leo gonna be okay?"

Raph faces his youngest brother, whose arms are clutching tightly around Leo’s sword. Mikey's gaze is locked to the floor, eyes wide with unshed tears. He looks so lost and scared, so devoid of his regular pep and overall cheer, that Raph has to suppress the overwhelming urge to engulf his brother in a giant hug.

His brothers need him right now. He might not be able to help Leo like Donnie can, but he's still their leader. He is still their big brother.

“Leo’s gonna be just fine,” Raph starts, approaching to grasp Mikey’s shoulders in his large hands, squeezing gently. “He’s strong, you know that. Remember that time when we thought Leo got lost in the sewers, and he did, but he found his way back? We spent hours searching for the guy and the cheeky bastard was home the entire time, eating the last of the oreos. Or what about that time he broke his arm doing that stupid double back-flip he saw in a video once when he was seven? He only cried like twice the whole time!"

Mikey looks at him, eyes glistening and mouth wobbling.

"I know my brothers. If there's one thing I can count on Leo, it's that he always pulls through in the end."

Silence fills the air for just a brief moment, filled only with the labored breathing of Leo. That brief moment is all Mikey needs, however. He presses his lips into a thin line and vigorously wipes at his tears with his forearm. After taking a composing breath through his nose, Mikey asks, "What do we do now?”

Isn't that the question. It’s far too dangerous to go back the way they came, not with the Foot Clan still searching for them knowing they have the advantage with one turtle down. And especially not with those new paper ninjas.

They’re incredibly lucky that when Mikey resorted to using his fire tornado, it was discovered that while mystic paper, it was still just paper and fell to the power of its natural enemy. Of course, that was after one managed to get the jump on Leo.

Raph can still vividly feel the gut punch he got when his own brother's screaming pierced his ears, the way his blood chilled in his veins and his heart plummeted. The raw fear of thinking oh god my little brother is dead.

He shakes his head. There'll be time to digest today's events later, when they're home and Leo's patched up and back to his annoying self, using his injury to his advantage so that his brothers may tend to his beck and call. And they'll fall for it too, of course, cause that's what family does for each other.

So, they can’t go back the way they came, what else then? The main sewer entrance for the lair is too far away to just make a run for it, especially being above ground. Raph could have Donnie track down another near manhole, but not only is Donnie currently busy using his tech to scan Leo’s injury checking the severity of it, they'll have no way of knowing if that manhole is connected to their sewer line unless they're in it. And even if that does happen to be connected to the lair, it's still quite a long distance to travel with someone who doesn't have any time to spare.

Dammit, he needs to think! Raph isn't the greatest at coming up with plans; he's always been more of a "smash first, talk later" kind of a guy. 

And look where that got them. Raph's baby brother is bleeding out to death, they're being pursued by the stupid flame-heads with deadly (well, deadlier) paper ninjas with nowhere to go, and they're stuck in a mattress store of all places. 

Leo would have known what to do. Hell, he'd have gotten them home by now with one of his portals, where they'd be enjoying the rest of their evening with pizza and a movie.

But they're not home. They're stuck with no where to run to, and Raph can't think.

“I-I don’t know," Raph stutters, self-doubt numbing his mind, jumbling his thoughts like clothes in a dryer, spinning and spinning. "I don't-"

“I c'n port'l us.”

Shocked, Raph whips around. Leo, even though his face is twisted with pain and his arms tremble, struggles to hoist himself to his elbows, swatting at Donnie's attempts to push him back down. Leo’s breathing extremely hard from the exertion of just sitting up, but he remains upright out of sheer stubbornness.

“I c’n get us-shit,” Leo grits through his teeth. Donnie, relenting to his brother's will, wraps an arm around Leo's shoulders, taking most of the weight as he leans him up. Glaring up at Raph, eyes blaring with fierce determination, he finishes with more clarity in his voice, “I can get us home.”

“No, absolutely not! Not in the condition you’re in.” 

Raph knows that with Leo now awake, they have a chance, a real good chance, of escaping their ridiculous predicament and getting Leo proper medical treatment. And Leo is the only one who can do it; he's the only one who can use his sword after all. But Leo can't even sit up without Donnie's support, which he clarifies as he gestures to Leo, “You can’t even sit upright on your own, how are you gonna hold a 30 lbs sword?”

“Oh yeah? Watch me."

Leo moves to stand up, pulling away from Donnie, but as soon as he draws his legs beneath him and shifts his weight, his eyes roll to the back of his head and he lists to the side. If it weren’t for his older brother, he would’ve faced-planted the floor. 

“Woah, woah, easy there ‘Nardo,” Donnie smoothly scolds, pressing his brother back to the comfort of the mattress. Leo hasn’t lost his battle with unconsciousness yet, grasping harshly onto Donnie’s bicep. His big brother grimaces but ultimately ignores it. After Leo's breathing evens out, Donnie gives his younger brother an exasperated look.

“Well, that was the dumbest thing you could have done.”

Leo rolls his eyes.

“Ugh, sh-shuddup, you weirdo asshole.”

Donnie snorts.

“Glad to know your personality is still somewhat intact. Though, I think you're more so the asshole here, seeing as I'm the one trying to be helpful and all.”

"Whatev', you just doin' this for yer own sake."

"Ah, yes. I have been wanting someone to be in my unquestionable debt recently, since I’m entirely incapable of doing anything from the goodness of my heart. Thank you for reminding me, Leon. I’ll be sure to remember this the next time you try to unload your chore duties onto me."

Leo tiredly gives one of his signature smirks, "No problemo."

Donnie's face turns stern.

“But seriously, Raph’s right. Being completely honest with you, I don’t even know how you’re still conscious right now.” Even as they speak, Leo’s eyes start to lose their focus, glazing over with exhaustion. Even eye-rolling and smirking seems to take away any energy he has left, and if Leo wasn't currently bleeding like a stuck pig, he would've gasped at the audacity of it all.

“I can do this," and Leo looks at Raph knowingly. "I always pull through in the end, remember?"

He's using his own words against him, Raph realizes. He must have been awake enough to hear his conversation with Mikey.

And he did say that, but if Raph was honest with himself, he mostly said those words to comfort Mikey. The odds are stacked against his brother right now. He doesn't have general mishaps anymore forming portals, but there are occasional days when Leo still struggles. Today, though, had been an average day, with Leo having successfully transported them directly in April's living room just earlier this evening, but failing to open one to the lair when the game night ended.

And there are plenty of examples of Leo triumphing when he reasonably shouldn't have. But looking at his brother now, bleeding and sickly and dying, he can't help the tendrils of doubt that suffocate him, snaking their way into his subconscious. 

But Raph knows his brothers. Even amongst doubt, Leo always does come through, in some way or another. 

Raph trusts his brothers, and he will trust Leo in his word that he can get them home.

After all, Raph's not one to make plans. He's never needed to really, not with his brothers by his side.

"I know."

Raph glances over to Mikey, communicating with a single look.

Mikey understands completely.

There's no time to debate whether Leo can do it or not. Every second that passes is another second of Leo losing more blood. Donnie might be pressing the hoodie into the large cut, but it’s not enough to entirely stop the flow.

At that moment, a large crash reverberates from just beyond the warehouse walls, the sound similar to the likes of a building collapsing in on itself. Dread stifles the air; their hiding spot will soon be found, it's only a matter of time. 

“You got this," Mikey encourages, presenting Leo with the handle of his odachi. Raph and Donnie watch, faces scrunched with anticipation. As Leo grasps the odachi, he breathes deeply, preparing himself both physically and mentally. 

His arm pathetically quivers as he lifts his sword from Mikey's hold. Raising the familiar object to its full weight, Leo heaves himself forward, sending white sparks across his vision as the pain blooms from his side. Blood begins to pool in his mouth as he bites the inside of his cheek to refrain passing out. 

Focus.

Focus on his breathing; focus on imagining the lair, the skateboard ramps, the untouched, warm pizza sitting on the counter waiting back home that Splinter had promised them.

Letting all other thoughts evade his mind; let's them fall to the ground like forgotten crumbs off of a home-cooked meal Mikey had prepared; let's them fall off his shoulders and into the drain like water when Leo spends too much time brooding in the shower and his brothers get upset at him for stealing all the hot water again.

Clearing his mind, Leo draws in the formation of a circle with the tip of his sword and blue light zaps and sparkles from his odachi.

But no portal forms. Halfway through, his muscles seize up, locked with overexertion, and he can't complete the circle. His sword lowers to rest on the ground, nearly falling from his grip altogether, his arms too tired to properly hold it.

His body has betrayed him, refusing to move when he commands it; feeling like he's trying to move around in thick syrup.

He didn't do it. His brothers' faith in him was misguided, and they're all gonna die here, not just Leo. 

No! Not wanting to give up, Leo tries again. An even more pathetic attempt than the first. His body protests his wishes, and his sword stays put as though it trying to tell him that he's already beat.

Hands are suddenly upon him, grasping the hilt of the odachi next to his own and resting on the back of his shell. His brothers are here, helping him bear the weight alongside him. 

"We gotchu, Leo!" There's Mikey's positive attitude, refreshing to hear as always. "Just focus on making a portal, we'll take care of the rest."

In the distance, another boom can be heard, louder and closer than before. Raph faces the direction it came from, protectively standing over his brothers as Mikey and Donnie crouch beside Leo.

Reaching his zen mode, confidence from knowing he's not doing this alone, Leo directs his sword to move in a circular motion, his two brothers following his lead and finishing in a perfect circle.

And like a miracle itself, a beautiful brilliance of blues fills the dark warehouse, and a perfect portal stares back at them.

Quick successions of multiple slashes can be heard, and the wall behind them explodes, raining heavy chunks of concrete and plaster all around them. Mattresses, carried by the blast, careen through the air, experiencing freedom for the first time in so many years. 

Wasting no time, Donnie throws Leo over his shoulder despite the weak protest, leaping into the portal. Behind him, Mikey and Raph follow, but not before Mikey gives the Foot Heads a taunting wave, blowing raspberries as he jumps through the portal. Leaving behind two very frustrated villains, having been outsmarted once again by the turtles and left with nothing but a single dusty and bloody mattress for their efforts, they can do nothing but stew in their hatred.

"Gah, those pesky turtles," the shorter one of the duo rasps. They had gotten so close this time, too. But they still have their new weapons at the ready; all they need as another opportunity to strike, then those pests will never bother them again.

Just as they're about to leave the warehouse, the larger of the two stops by the mattress, picking up what looks like a familiar blanket.

"Hey wait a minute, isn't that-" He doesn't get to finish that statement, with a scraping scream interrupting him.

"Noo! My Lou Jitsu: Punch Chowder hoodie!"

[fanfic-inator795]

Oneshot: Movies and Mermaids

((Have some Mikey and Draxum bonding *throws confetti*))

It wasn’t as if Draxum had any genuine interest in human culture, certainly not! He could care less! ...Though, his obvious lack of caring didn’t prevent certain annoyances.

Like how he would be sometimes be completely lost in certain conversations. A member of the faculty at the high school would ask if he had seen the latest film in theaters and if he liked it better than the remake, or how his fellow lunch servers would reference certain shows and encourage him to watch them as well - Gladys especially seemed entranced with a show regarding doctors all dating each other in-between doing their actual jobs, for whatever reason.

The rest of the city seemed to only aggravate him more. From displays and the videos that would play on the large screens on towers, to the advertisements he saw on the television box or in magazines. It just seemed like everything he saw in human culture was a reference to something or someone - a laundry list of names and shows and movies and jokes and even what were supposedly ‘simple’ concepts like technology and brands and lingo and-!

After over two months of living on the surface, Draxum had reached his limit. He was tired of constantly being confused. He was tired of constantly missing or misunderstanding the references.

He was tired of being reminded that this was not his world, that he was still a yokai in human clothing.

So naturally, as a man of science, Draxum thought it only made sense to start with some research. Granted there was an entire pantheon that he would have to go through, and without the power of the ‘internet’ and a television box that only had five channels, it would be a incredibly slow process... At the very least, O’Neil had said that she would help him get a human library card when they both had a free afternoon. 

In the meantime, Michelangelo had plenty of ‘reference material’, and even with the insistence that this was all for education and NOT entertainment, Draxum figured it was as good of a starting point as any, considering how much the humans seemed to admire their on-screen stories and their film stars. (No wonder Lou Jitsu was just as popular as an actor as he was as a warrior...)

It was late Friday night when Mikey showed up to Draxum’s apartment with a backpack full of movies of all different genres and formats and a VHS/DVD combo player tucked under his arm. “Good thing Donnie found this thing a few years ago, huh?” he said as he hooked it up.

Draxum didn’t bother replying. Instead, he was focusing on his choices for that evening - as well as for the rest of the week, since Mikey said he could borrow them as long as he needed to - pulling out each tape or DVD case and examining it carefully. Quite a few of them looked like they were for children, which he probably should have expected, though he didn’t dismiss them immediately.

“Don’t worry,” he heard Mikey said, “I remembered what you said. All of these are super popular ‘staples of human culture’ that practically everyone’s seen.”

“Good,” Draxum mumbled, putting aside a movie about a boat next to a movie about a boy gardener who wore a cloak and was apparently very harry. Picking up the next one, his expression flattened a bit at the cover. “This one you can take back, I don’t need to watch it.”

“Huh? Why- ohhh.” The box turtle chuckled as he took the tape, smiling at the younger version of his dad on the box. “Sorry, guess that one accidentally got slipped in there. Though to be fair, ‘Jitsu for Justice’ is a total classic.”

“Irrelevant,” Draxum huffed, “I have no desire to watch ANY of Lou Jitsu’s films, no matter how popular they may be. Once was more than enough...”

“Alright alright, I’ll- wait,” Mikey paused, “so you DID watch his movies?”

“Er, I- Not because I actually wanted to!” Draxum told him, “It was for research!” Mikey gave him a flat look. “He had stopped fighting in the Battle Nexus and I needed to study his moves! I-I didn’t enjoy doing it, if that’s what you’re implying! His movies were still ridiculous and completely unenjoyable! I would never actually-”

“Whatever you say, man,” Mikey shrugged, ignoring the Baron’s growls at being interrupted, “Though, how’d you watch ‘em anyway? I didn’t think that TV was that big of a thing down there?”

“I used my viewing orb to summon and display them, obviously,” Draxum told him, “Most yokai have them for when they need them, and they’re much more useful and clearer than any television box.”

“If you say so...” “Hmph.” With that settled, Draxum went back to digging through the bag of movies. It didn’t take long for another video to catch his eye, this one in a plastic case rather than a cardboard one, with a picture of a happy mermaid and an equally happy human plastered on it.

“Awwww!” Mikey said suddenly, “That was April’s favorite movie when she was little! Which meant it was one of the first movies she brought over to share with us! Heh, guess we borrowed it so often we forgot to give it back, whoops. But it’s a really good movie! See, there’s this mermaid who wants to live on land as a human, and she’s friends with a crab and-”

Draxum had begun to tune the turtle out as he continued to stare at the VHS case. Mermaids weren’t too common in the Hidden City itself, though that didn’t mean they weren’t there at all. The city was next to water, after all, and some would live on the shore or become part of an air-boat crew - and they certainly didn’t look like this.

He felt his thoughts start to swirl, becoming just as mixed as his emotions as a grimace began to form on his face. On one hand, Draxum supposed he should’ve been grateful that the humans were portraying a yokai positively - as cute and friendly instead of vicious creature that lived to drown humans. 

Centuries ago, before the Great Migration underground, Draxum had heard that and many other similar claims about his people... Baseless claims meant to justify hunts and attacking on sight...

On the other hand, did humans only see them as ‘harmless’ when used for entertainment purposes? Did they only approve of yokai existing when they only existed in fiction, where they could be used however humans saw fit? 

He was briefly reminded of the creatures - the ‘poke-o-mon’ - that he would occasionally see on shirts or on phones, creatures not directly based on yokai, but similar enough. He had to wonder how much other human entertainment was based on so-called fictional creatures and monsters that they never would have even smiled at before.

“-xum... Hey, Drax?” Mikey poked his bicep, making Draxum flinch. “You okay, bud-?”

“Fine,” Draxum snapped, though there was a little actual bite to it, “Just surprised that humans would portray a yokai so positively, even in fiction.”

“Most humans do think they’re just fiction,” Mikey told him. After a moment, his tone became a bit gentler, thinking back to certain points brought up by his father and April. “Though, I can still sorta see why that would feel weird or kinda insulting, seeing a fake version of yourself or your people and not knowin’ how they’d react to the real you, wondering if they would only like the fake you. That probably doesn’t feel the greatest... and I’m really sorry about that.”

Draxum blinked. He stared at the turtle for a few seconds before finally replying with, “You’re a lot more introspective than I would have thought.”

“I get that a lot,” Mikey grinned, “But hey, they don’t call me Dr. Feelings for nothing. So, did you wanna keep this one then, or- I mean, I can understand if-”

Draxum stopped him, looking at the tape again. “...I am admittedly curious,” he said, “You did say this was a movie humans watch as children.” Studying a species’ influences during adolescence could prove to be pretty useful in understanding the adults. “And besides, if the portrayal is truly offensive, I can always send a complaint to this ‘Walt Disney’ and demand certain edits.”

“Riiiiight, though I don’t think you’ll be too mad at this one,” Mikey told him, “Ariel is a great character, and all the other mermaids in the movie aren’t portrayed as jerks or anything. ...Well, one guy kinda is but, uh-”

“Let’s just watch it already,” Draxum told him, shoving the tape into his hand, “The sooner we start it, the sooner I can gauge whether or not it’s actually worth watching.”

Mikey smirked a little. “Heh, alright.” Opening the case, he pushed the tape in while Draxum went over to the couch they had gotten him at the thrift store, briefly checking it for bugs or lumps before sitting down. “Good thing it’s already rewound.”

The only annoying thing about that was that they had to sit through previews, though Mikey used that time to cook up some popcorn kernels that he had snagged on the way out of the Lair, easily cooking it using a pan and the stove top. (No one trusted Draxum with a microwave after That One Time.)

By the time he finished, the movie’s title had just faded onto the screen. Mikey smiled widely, the nostalgia from the music and the memories he had with the movie sending slight shivers up his shell. 

Draxum, meanwhile, was watching the film intently, taking in every detail. The mermaids in the film were still completely different than actual mermaids, but at least they weren’t an insulting caricature (even if they were a bit too human-like for his liking).

As it turned out, the main mermaid character was not only a bit of a collector and explorer, but also a human fanatic. “Ugh,” Draxum grumbled as he grabbed a couple more pieces of the puffed-up corn-snack. Mikey gave him a bit of a look, but he ignored it. Just because he had been able to find a bit of common ground and comradery with his fellow lunch servers didn’t mean he was willing to give ALL humans a pass.

At least the mermaid’s father seemed to have some common sense. In fact, Draxum found himself nodding in agreement with nearly every scene the mer-king was in. ...Up until a certain point, at least.

Mikey winced a bit as the scene began. He resisted the urge to go into his shell like he always had when he was little, but he did sink a little in his seat as Triton stepped out of the shadows. When he noticed Draxum glancing over at him, Mikey simply mumbled, “I always hate this scene...”

A couple minutes and a destroyed grotto later, and Draxum could sort of see what Mikey meant, understanding how Triton’s act might have been “harsh”, as the orange-wearing turtle would’ve put it.

As the movie moved onto the next seen, Mikey relaxed a little, though a frown remained on his face... However, his expression of sadness soon became one of confusion as he felt a hand pat the top of his head.

“Uh... there, there,” Draxum mumbled, giving Mikey one more head-pat before retracting his hand. It was awkward as all heck, they both knew it, but seeing the sheepman somewhat care about his feelings still made Mikey smile.

It didn’t take much longer for Ursula to make her appearance, and as soon as the Sea Witch began talking of deals and trades, Draxum gave a small smirk of his own.

“What?” Mikey asked, tilting his head a bit.

“I didn’t realize Big Mama was in this movie.”

Mikey snorted at that. “So what, you tell jokes now?”

The sheep-man shrugged as he grabbed another handful of popcorn. “Just making an observation,” he said simply. As the scene went on though, his mind made another small connection - Ursula’s two eels reminding him of his own pair of pets, even if Flotsam and Jetsam were much more confident than his former goyles.

Even so, the reminder made his chest ache a little... Not in sadness, mind you, or because he actually missed them. No, clearly his chest ached for a completely different reason that he was sure he’d think of later.

Once the little mermaid made the contract and silenced herself, the film very much became a literal ‘fish out of water’ story, complete with plenty of amusing moments featuring misunderstandings and an over-abundance of cuteness, as well as another musical number. Thankfully, before things became too saccharine, Ursula launched the second half of her plan to rule the seas.

After that, the movie moved pretty quickly through its third act. Draxum was a bit annoyed at the human prince being the one to ultimately save the day in the end, but overall he could agree that the ending was a pretty happy one.

As the credits rolled, Mikey looked at him with eyes wide. “Sooooo, what do you think?”

Draxum cupped his chin in thought, staying silent for a few moments before finally speaking. “...If the king’s trident had the power of transformation, why didn’t he just turn the prince into a merman?”

Mikey’s face fell. “...That’s what you got out of it?”

“It’s a valid question!” Draxum argued, “Why should she have to be the one to transform?”

“Because she wasn’t just after the guy!” Mikey told him, resisting the urge to facepalm, “You saw her collection and heard her song, she wanted to be human! She was tired of bein’ stuck in the same ocean and wanted something new - something she thought was cool!”

“Hmph, I suppose that’s true... Plus, she still has the option to turn back into a mermaid later on thanks to her father’s power, so at least there’s that.”

The box turtle slumped back on the couch, disappointed though maybe not too surprised. “I guess that means you didn’t really like it, huh?”

There was a long moment of silence. “I didn’t completely agree with the ending but... the film overall wasn’t too bad,” Draxum conceded, “Not as bad as I thought it’d be, at least?”

“...You really mean that?” Mikey asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I wouldn’t waste my time lying about something as trivial as animated human-entertainment,” Draxum replied, “And... there were high production values. Characters were mostly understandable, and it was... cute. Not too annoying or insufferable. Even if it was still slightly inaccurate to actual mermaids and mermen.”

“...You know what, I’ll take it. And I’m glad you enjoyed the movie, and not just for my sake.” With a bit of a ‘whup’, Mikey sat up and tucked his legs under his body in a sort of lotus position. “Though, now I’m kinda curious. What’d the movie get wrong, and what else can you tell me about merpeople? I only ever saw one, on Hueso’s brother’s ship, but that was only for like a second.”

This time, it was Draxum’s turn to give him a look. “Really... The child who’s always pushing me to ‘embrace humans’ and hide my ‘mystic stuff’ is asking me to teach him about a member of Yokaikind?”

“Hey, I only to tell you to hide your mystic stuff so you don’t get yourself evicted, fired or arrested,” Mikey retorted, “I’m not the one goin’ around mutatin’ kids and/or lunches and making giant stone heads angry.”

“...Fair enough,” Draxum said, only slightly reluctant.

“But as far as I can figure, there’s no harm in just talking about mystic stuff. And as for my actual interest... Yeah, I really do wanna know.” Unable to help himself, Mikey directed his gaze towards the floor - down towards the Hidden City that he knew was there. That he only now knew was there. 

He wouldn’t have traded his life with his dad in the sewers of NYC for anything, but he would’ve been lying if he said there wasn’t a small part of him that wondered what it would’ve been like to grow up around people that looked like him in a city full of magic.

“We protect humans, but we don’t like only humans, you know,” Mikey continued, “We’ve got other mutant friends, and yokai friends too.” His smile softened. “Senor Hueso and Sunita and the chefs I’ve met at Run of the Mill, they’re all so amazing. And I’ve only seen, like, a fraction of the Hidden City but I know that’s amazing too, and I just... This city - the surface - is always gonna be my home, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about the other city or wonder about it.” 

He finally looked back at Draxum, his eyes firm. “So yeah... I wanna know.”

There was another moment of silence between them, though within it, the slightest bit of connection was formed. Small and fragile, but no less noticeable.

“...Fine,” Draxum finally agreed, “But pay attention, I don’t want to repeat myself later. First off, no merperson has the same skin tone as a human. They range between greens, blues and grays to help blend in with oceans. Their eyes are also much wider than a human’s to help them hunt.”

“Makes sense to me!” Mikey smiled, leaning back on his hands a little, though looking no less attentive. Even when the TV turned to quiet static, he kept his focus right on Draxum - a gesture the former warrior-scientist certainly appreciated, even if he didn’t say so outright.

“Merpeople are also able to survive outside of water. While mobility becomes an issue depending on how often they’re moving or traveling, they have no issues living on land - hence why some take to living on air-boats as a sort of compromise, plus it helps them travel across bodies of water in a shorter amount of time. They also don’t eat humans, despite the lies told about them, though they can be territorial when they are in the water - although you can’t blame them, especially if fish start to become scarce. Furthermore-”

It was sort of nice... Sure, Mikey had plenty he wanted to show and teach Draxum about humankind - and if all went well, then maybe there was a chance of Draxum having a change of heart. Maybe their technical creator wasn’t totally evil, and maybe one day, he really would be a better person and would understand what he and his family already knew. Mikey certainly hoped that would end up being the case...

But, in the meantime, maybe Mikey would end up learning a little from Draxum too. And honestly, as long as it wasn’t lecture series about ‘effectively destroying humans’ or anything like that, the orange turtle didn’t see anything wrong with that at all.

THE END

[onthevirgeofdestruction]

Dreaming While I Wake

Sanders Sides Foster Care AU - Roman-centric Angst & Hurt/Comfort & Abuse Recovery

Roman tries to be upbeat and hopeful despite all the shit that’s happened to him. And a lot of shit has. Luckily, his new foster home is with two literal rays of sunshine (and a sarcastic asshole).

Words: 3,480 Warnings: Major Warnings - Spoilers in Warnings Characters: Roman, Thomas, Patton Universe: Dreaming While I Wake Genre: Chill Hurt/Comfort

Chapter 26

chapter 1 for new readers - ffn mirror

   Roman exhaled with relief as he unloaded the textbooks he didn’t need into his locker at the end of the day. He still was so incredibly glad he only required the one textbook for his science homework due tomorrow. Short answer essay questions, because the teacher was the actual devil. He’d gotten back some of his homework today and it was lots of C’s, even though he tried to focus and do his best.

   He got back some homework he got help from Patton on with an A, at least, so he could possibly average out to a B instead of being a solid C student as usual. Not that he could ask Patton to help him again. He couldn’t bother them. He just had to… do better somehow. He managed a B on his own for one of the packets, so he could in theory.

   Roman closed his locker and hefted his bag off the floor, but jumped when he locked eyes with a guy leaning against the locker right in Roman’s face. Roman narrowed his eyes and looked the stranger up and down. He didn’t recognize him and had genuinely no idea why this guy was staring at him. Did they share a class? Roman had trouble remembering faces.

   “Can I… help you?” Roman inquired curiously.

   “What’s with the new look? Trying to pretend you’re interesting or something, now?” The guy sneered at him with a villainous grin.

   “That’s rich coming from a guy dressed up in a fancy peacoat,” Roman slid on his backpack and huffed at him, motioning to his coat. Was this even real life? This was so weird.

   “Hiding something?” He said, reaching out and plucking at Roman’s gloves. Roman twitched his hand back and scowled at him. He knew he’d regret wearing them at school, eventually. He thought they looked okay, certainly less obvious, with the leather jacket, and he didn’t wish to upset Thomas again by forgetting. Thomas reminded him multiple times to put them on that morning, and he couldn’t bring himself to take them off while he went to school as usual.

   “Wouldn’t you like to know?” Roman rolled his eyes and threw his head. He spun around to walk off. He wasn’t stuck in a class with this asshole and had no reason to continue to tolerate this passive-aggressive bullshit.

   “I know,” The guy called after him. Roman couldn’t stop himself from stiffening his shoulders while he strode off. “I know what you’re hiding,” He continued. Roman swung to look at him. His expression was completely impassive and his bright hazel eyes felt piercing as they locked gazes.

   “Whatever,” Roman said dismissively and turned back around to leave. There wasn’t anything that this guy could extort from Roman. He didn’t have cash, and most of his possessions weren’t fancy. If he pretended it didn’t matter, then hopefully it wouldn’t. It had worked before. This guy clearly had problems to seek out Roman just to fucking bother him, and Roman didn’t need to make himself a part of this stranger’s issues. Roman waved at him and headed out the building to walk home. The guy didn’t follow or call after him again, so hopefully, it worked.

   Today was long, PE continued to be a nightmare of glares, and he slept like shit last night because he was so busy feeling guilty about Thomas buying him clothes. He wished to lie down and space out to something on TV. If he got lucky he could pass out to it. His feet freaking hurt and that guy annoyed the shit out of him, so he’d need to relax or his anger would get out of control again. He had that damn appointment soon, and that fucked with his mood enough so he needed to try to keep his cool.

   His mood was not as bad as Virgil’s, though. Virgil stormed past him on the sidewalk, looking as pissed as a hydra that had one of its heads lopped off. He had some paper crumpled in his fists and was slouched over, his hood hiding his dark hair and doubtlessly a very dour expression. Roman sped his pace to keep up with Virgil but kept a berth of a few feet. He wasn’t sure if he should ask or let him deal with it alone. Roman would rather be left alone, personally, so just making sure Virgil didn’t punch anything should be helpful enough.

   Virgil grimaced as he fished his keys out of his jeans pocket and unlocked the front door. He stomped upstairs and slammed his bedroom door before Roman got halfway up. He ambled into his own bedroom and left the door open, in the event Virgil desired to vent or something, and dropped his backpack at his desk. Roman flopped down on the bed and exhaled tiredly. He kicked off his shoes with his toes and considered if he wanted to watch the TV downstairs or on his phone. It’s about all he had the mental capacity to do right now.

   Sitting there and thinking about doing things was more effort than he had. He was fucking tired, annoyed at that prick, worried about Virgil, and his feet which were fully healed were being bastards and aching for no good reason. Was it too much to ask to just stop existing for a while? Even twenty minutes? Roman needed a god damn break like he needed oxygen. Too drained for TV wasn’t exactly a new low, but still some grade-A bullshit. At least he didn’t have to be watching kids right now.

   “Hey, do you know what that was about?” Thomas asked, knocking on Roman’s open door. Roman leaned up and looked over to him.

   “No, no clue,” Roman shrugged and sighed.

   “He’s not answering his texts. Would you mind…?” Thomas trailed off and pointed to Virgil’s room from the doorway.

   “What?” Roman raised a haircut at him.

   “Translating for him?” Thomas finished somewhat awkwardly. “I mean... if he’s okay with it. I’m hoping he’ll respond in person,” He added sheepishly.

   “Um, no, I don’t mind,” Roman sat back up and got up from the bed. Thomas shifted a door over and knocked on it while Roman stared curiously at Thomas.

   “Virgil? I’m opening the door,” Thomas announced. Roman stepped up behind him while Thomas paused. He pushed it open and Virgil was sitting on the floor against the bed, with his arms wrapped around his bed and his makeup smudged. “I brought Roman to translate if that’s okay,” Thomas said. Roman finally got a chance to look into Virgil’s office. He had a surprising amount of things, but the room had a similar setup in that it had a full-sized bed, a dresser, a bookshelf, and a desk, other than the fact that he had a big bean bag in the corner. But there were plenty of little decorations, old toys, and other possessions littered about the area. He had posters up, some bands Roman didn’t recognize and a Donnie Darko poster, which is weird, because Roman was certain that movie was rated R. Virgil’s sheets were royal purple and he had a black throw and pillowcases on it. Virgil didn’t acknowledge Roman or Thomas and stared blankly ahead. “What happened? Are you okay?” Thomas asked, looking concerned and conflicted in the doorway.

   “School,” Roman said as Virgil signed sluggishly. Virgil sighed and leaning back against the bed, looking more exhausted than pissed now. His eyebrows were furrowed and his eyes slightly hollow.

   “Did something happen at school?” Thomas urged him to open up softly, holding on to the door frame. Virgil took up the crumpled paper and held it up. Thomas stepped in to take it and examined it. It looked to be an essay, but there was a big red zero on the top and a stamp for where the parent had to sign to prove they’d seen the grade. Roman flinched involuntarily seeing that, grimacing. Thomas skimmed the paper swiftly. “It’s okay if you got a bad grade, but I have to admit I don’t see what’s wrong about this essay. Did you go off-topic or something?” Thomas asked with a confused expression, flipping it over to the other side.

   “Oral presentation,” Roman translated for Virgil. Virgil grimaced, dropping his face into his knees and taking hold of his legs again, flopping his hoodie down.

   “What do you mean?” Thomas scratched his eyebrows, appearing to be reading the essay. “This looks fine to me,” He commented, flipping the pages back and straightening them out.

   “I think he means it was supposed to be an oral presentation, and the teacher failed him because he couldn’t present,” Roman suggested sourly and Virgil nodded slowly in confirmation. Thomas stiffened and his eyes widened right away.

   “What a complete and absolute bitch!” Thomas intoned acridly. “Don’t let Patton know I said bitch in presence of you,” He added quickly and ran his hand through his mane. “How dare they, honestly? This teacher is likely still at the school, right?” Roman backed up and nodded, not a fan of this angry energy Thomas was putting out. “Alright, come on, both of you. I’m not leaving either of you alone, but I’m not letting them get away with this,” Thomas hissed. “Get your shoes back on, Roman,” He said, but Roman was a little freaked out and couldn’t react. Virgil curled in on himself on the floor. Thomas inhaled and exhaled gently. “I’m sorry, boys. Please, let’s go. You don’t deserve this grade, Virgil. We need to set this right,” Thomas said much more evenly and Virgil and both let out a tense breath.

   Roman backed out of the doorway and shuffled into his bedroom to slide on his shoes. He didn’t want to walk anymore, but he also didn’t have it in him to contest Thomas. He looked intense, and that was extremely unnerving to Roman. It was usually safer and easier just to follow along, even if he didn’t understand why he had to go. It wasn’t as if he was going to hurt himself or whatever, he only wanted to take a nap and sulk. Though maybe Thomas could see something in Roman that he didn’t. He had to admit he was in a trash mood, and that could make Thomas nervous. Roman pulled himself up off the bed with a pained huff. He headed downstairs and waited for Thomas and Virgil. They came downstairs a few moments later and headed out.

   His feet hurt, so Roman limped every few steps on the way there. Thomas was a full-grown adult and Virgil had long spider legs, so their natural pace was quick compared to Roman’s limping gait and he had to be careful about not falling behind. Thomas was rushing and gripping the essay in his hands. Virgil had his hood up again and was holding himself as he followed behind Thomas. He looked sullen at best, grasping his hoodie with pale knuckles and staring morosely at the concrete below them as they walked.

   They reached the school swiftly due to their long legs and frustrated pace. Virgil led them over to the junior hall and to the teacher’s classroom silently, Roman tagging behind them nervously. Thomas fell on the open classroom door and entered with his shoulders high. Roman slid in to sit down and put out his feet, but Virgil hid behind Thomas and rubbed his arm restlessly.

   “Excuse me? Mr. Brennan. I’m Mr. Sanders, Virgil McNaught’s guardian?” Thomas got the teacher’s attention, standing firm in face of the desk.

   “All you had to do was to sign the paper, Mr. Sanders, you didn’t need to come in,” The teacher said, sounding very tired as he examined the failed essay in Thomas’s hand.

   “I’m here because you can’t give Virgil a zero for being unable to present vocally,” Thomas said coolly, dropping the paper on the teacher’s desk.

   “You’ll find I can. It is not my job to make shy children come out of their shells. He chose not to present,” Mr. Brennan responded, tapping the desk with his pen and looking annoyed.

   “He is not able to speak, and that is a very important distinction. Virgil still provided the presentation in a way he was capable of doing,” Thomas poked the essay on the desk and Virgil shrank back slightly.

   “I wasn’t made aware of a 504 plan for the student,” The teacher replied, sounding frustrated and rubbing his nose under his glasses.

   “Virgil shouldn’t need that for you to know that he can’t talk and thus can’t give an oral presentation,” Thomas insisted angrily, crossing his arms.

   “He does, technically,” Mr. Brennan’s tone sounded bored. Roman stared at him from across the room.

   “I don’t care about technicalities. This still violates the spirit of the ADA and we’re already actively working on getting a diagnosis,” Thomas shot bitterly, standing stiffly and possibly joining Roman in the glare from the slight hunch.

   “Listen, he’s not the first quiet kid I’ve ever seen. He’s got the look and everything,” The teacher motioned to Virgil and arched an eyebrow. Roman gritted his teeth, biting back an insult. “How do you know he’s not lying to you, too?” He demanded incredulously and jumped when Roman’s fist slammed down on the table. If he had ever given anyone a death glare, he was sure giving it to this asshole. Thomas glanced behind him at Roman. “Please control your entourage, Mr. Sanders, it’s after hours,” Mr. Brennan said warily and rubbed his head again.

   “Roman has every single right to be upset, just like I am! He cannot talk. And as it happens, that’s not your place to assume or judge. Boys, come on, we’re going to the main’s office,” Thomas growled slightly as he spoke with firm conviction. Virgil was completely curled into himself and breathing hard. Roman got up and stood between Virgil and Mr. Brennan without hesitating, staring him down.

   “Leave him alone,” Roman hissed menacingly to the teacher, balling up his fists.

   “Roman, that’s enough,” Thomas stopped Roman, putting his hand on his shoulder. He would have preferred to shrug it off, but it was grounding and Roman was barely containing himself as he bared his teeth at the schoolteacher. “An infringement of the ADA is a fire-able offense. The principal can do much worse than you,” Thomas added evenly, though his other hand was clenched tightly.

   “It’s not an invasion of the ADA without a diagnosis, Mr. Sanders,” He sighed with exasperation, flipping his hand out towards Virgil as he rested his head on one arm.

   “Once we have a diagnosis, that’s something completely trivial for my lawyer to handle,” Thomas stared him down, standing resolutely. Roman glanced back at Virgil and he didn’t seem to be doing any better. Roman shrugged Thomas off and walked behind him, squatting down to the floor to face Virgil. He fell on the ground with his knuckles and Virgil’s eyes shot up.

   ‘Hallway,’ Roman signed and Virgil nodded slowly, swallowing hard. His forehead was sweaty, and he looked kind of sick.

   “The school doesn’t have any money for you to sue for. This is a public school, we’re lucky we have running water,” The teacher sounded more fatigued than before, leaning heavily on his hand and scowling.

   “I don’t want money, I want fair treatment for my- for Virgil! I don’t need money, I need you not to treat children like liars! This bullshit is why kids are hurting so much and I’m not standing for it!” Thomas shot fiercely, only barely controlling his volume. Roman held his arm out and protected Virgil as he made his way to the hall. Thomas followed after them after he finished his tirade, holding the essay again.

   “I’m really sorry, Virgil. I’ll make sure this gets solved. Can you breathe?” Thomas asked much more softly, keeping a safe distance from Virgil. Roman stayed within a foot of him, entirely on edge but ready to throw down at any second if anyone even looked at Virgil funny. He’d gotten his ass beat for foster siblings before and he’d do it again in a heartbeat, and he couldn’t use but default to that when he was stressed and Virgil was panicking. Virgil nodded weakly and choked a bit, continuing to shake and grip himself too hard.

   “Let’s all take some deep breaths, okay? I could use it, too. I’m going to count on my hand and you two can follow my lead,” Thomas suggested, putting the essay under his arm and holding up four fingers and starting to breathe in, counting on his fingers. Roman followed suit with his fists gripped tightly. It took plenty of cycles, but the time for each slowly increased and Roman eventually calmed down a bit. Virgil had stopped shaking as well, though his bangs were still holding to his forehead and he looked completely drained, the dark circles under his eyes visible under the makeup.

   ‘Fuck that guy,’ Roman signed to Virgil with a half-smile on his face, but he couldn’t manage to suppress the grimace much. Virgil nodded bitterly and glanced at Thomas.

   “Let’s go to the administrative office. You two can wait on the court out front, just stay together and keep each other safe, all right?” Thomas requested, motioning with his head down out of the junior hall.

   “Way ahead of you,” Roman muttered darkly under his breath. Virgil stuck close to Roman in the hall instead of keeping his normal few feet of distance.

   Virgil dropped to the bench right outside of the front office with a fatigued exhale. Roman stood, not sure if Virgil needed his space on the bench and helpless against the tension in his body. Thomas marched in the administrative office and advanced directly into the principal’s office without waiting for the currently absent secretary to let him in. Roman tapped his fingers on his jacket as he crossed his arms, shifting his weight around on his feet from time to time.

   Virgil’s arm eventually reached out and yanked at Roman’s jacket, forcing him to sit and then scooting over, less than a foot between them. Roman exhaled painfully, his rib acting up. Maybe watching him twitch restlessly wasn’t helping Virgil. Roman uncrossed his arms and wrung his hands slowly instead. Virgil leaned forward on his legs and stared at the floor despondently.

   That motherfucker in the open peacoat with the brown and gold shirt passed in the hall and regarded Roman curiously. Roman glowered at him, doing his best to communicate not to fuck with him right now with his eyes. Roman barely contained his need to fight as it is. The guy paused and looked Roman up and down before he walked up, which meant this person didn’t get the picture. It felt like an invitation that Roman wanted to rip into shreds.

   “Acting out again?” He said smoothly, sliding his hands into his coat pockets. Again? This fucker. Roman didn’t know what he knew or how he knew, but he clenched his teeth and balled his fists against his thighs. “Oh, you don’t enjoy being-” Roman socked him right in the fucking face. He was standing over him and breathing hard before he was even aware of what he was doing. The person in the peacoat stumbled back and hissed in pain, holding his eye.

   “Good!” Roman shot loudly, raising his arms. “Get the fuck out of here before I come over there and finish the job,” Roman spat, cracking his knuckles stepping forward. The guy scampered off hurriedly and Roman growled and ran both his hands through his mane and scratched aggressively at his scalp. He held himself and started pacing.

   Virgil gripped his sleeve while he passed and yanked him down on the desk again, shooting him a furtive glance. Roman sighed and grasped his legs. The combination of jeans and gloves stopped him from feeling his nails pressing through the material and he groaned quietly in frustration, eyeballing the direction that prick head ran off in. He loved to chase that kid and go for round two. He longed to go fight him so much it buzzed in his muscles painfully.

   Roman reached up and scratched at his head once more. He was just as awful as his fucking dad. Roman held his head in his palms and leaned back against the wall, rubbing his face roughly in frustration. Virgil yanked at Roman’s sleeve and removed Roman’s hands from himself. Oh. Right. Roman nodded to Virgil in thanks. His skin felt raw from the leather gloves, but he probably didn’t hurt as much as that kid’s eye did. Roman squeezed his eyes shut and clutched at his jacket, trying to stop attacking himself. What the hell was wrong with him?

Personal Taglist: @bunny222 @elizabutgayer​ @prinxietyforever @kanene-yaaay-o-retorno @the-sympathetic-villain @croftersjam15 @ollyollyoxinfree @xytiiko

the taglist repository (ask to be removed):

High school:  @dragonwithproblems @starlight-era @averykedavra  @potatsanderssides

Roman Angst:  @k1ngtok1

Hurt/Comfort:  @callboxkat @nonasficcollection @supernovainthenightsky @evoodo123

Roman-Centric:  @smileyzs  @robinwritesshitposts @thatgaydemirainnerd

Fostering AU:  @i-am-not-a-dinner-roll

literally everything sanders sides:  @katelynn-a-fan @dwbh888 @grouptalekindnesssoul @the-hoely-bleach @anvil527up @fanficloverinthesun  @brain-deadx0 @the-grounded-raven  @ananonsplace

[halfshelled]

favorite things from Turtles Forever

it’s literally been 48 hours and ive watched this movie like 11 times i keep going back to it

that title sequence? delicious.

cinematic parallels of mikey liking the goofballs & raph liking the grit only for both of them to realize they may have Made A Mistake because the other turtles are a little too extreme on each end of the spectrum

“im not your step brother... im your half sister”

speaking in unison and name confusion

“dont get cute” “we cant help it! we were born that way” im so glad they know theyre adorable

the 80s turtles are literally babies and they share a singular brain cell (they literally talk in unison so often its a mood)

“right after lunch” [jumps off building for pizza]

being polite to the humans “hey there” “hows it going” “hello” “hi”

80s mike catching the pizza. no pizza harmed in the making of this tmnt movie

running from the police

reinforcements = dad

“techno magic” HE LITERALLY TIED THE WIRED INTO A KNOT

the noogie saga AKA “awww look mikey they like you! you’re doomed.”

“cowabunga!” “COWABUNGA!”

the 80s turtles making 03 mikey laugh in the middle of the fight

“what a hardcase”

[krang noise] “quiet”

the 80s turtles being confused that the 03 call splinter “father”

“wow your sewers really stink” “uhm you dont have any nostrils?” “touche”

ah yes. the most effective way to wash something off your hands. by flailing around in 2 inch deep water screaming

03 mikey wrapping up splinter’s hand

“any ideas?” “OH ME PICK ME I KNOW”

“it sounds... silly. no offense”

the power of positive thinking

“now hand me that hammer” “this is a wrench” “details. science isnt all about facts you know”

at least he used it like a hammer i’ll give him that

the 80s boys sleep til noon everyday???? they say “is it noon already” so i assume thats the case???????? mood????

the pause and look of confusion after 80s raph breaks the fourth wall

80s mikey is completely unafraid of a villain who has them all chained to a wall but 03 raph’s anger is enough to scare him (+80s raph holding back 03 raph)

the 80s boys realizing this is actually serious

“my turtles. and.... my turtles?” 

80s mikey waving at splinter in the background. baby do you have any idea what’s going on?

“thats kinda what our master splinter said to us. about them.” “i know... im worried about him too”

donatello how are roller skates anti technodrome gear i just want to know please i need an explanation

the 80s turtles are just using what they know you guys, its not their fault the solutions in their world are goofy and dumb

“the technical term is stupid party wagon”

air support

krang has transdimensional attorneys

the 80s boys are willing to risk their lives for this universe i love them so much im gunna cry

“move it halfshell!”

im always here for a karai betrayal

when donnie says “meet our dimensional duplicates”, 03 mikey puts his arm around 80s mikey in the background

the contrast between how the 80s and 03 turtles fight but also them fighting in sync with each other

i’ll hit a donatello with another donatello

rule of threes comedy with the 4th wall breaks!

raph yelling for casey and needing to be pulled away by leo literally made me tear up

mirage leo’s narration

mirage raph is so dang extra with his sai. all the spinning and then immediately throwing them at the 80s boys

despite being told the others are trying to save them from the shredder, the mirage turtles’ instinctive stance is a defensive one as opposed to a more relaxed position

the fact that mirage raph doesnt speak as much as the other three and instead mostly growls (and when he does speaks its always to taunt the others)

“what a hardcase” x2

“we've created a sophisticated device that will be able to track the Technodrome, no matter where” “is that it?”

the other turtles throwing trash at mirage shredder + mirage leo motioning for them all to get down

“less talk. more action.”

03 raph saving 80s mike, raph, and leo and the, clinging to him crying

“yeah okay, it’s okay, you can let go now. ....dont make me hurt you.”

where are the classics? oh there they are, literally throwing themselves in shredder’s face

“looks like we just found something he’s vulnerable to!” “yeah... turtles!”

mirage turtles being the multiverse big brothers/leo’s mother-henning coming out: “leonardo, seriously, for your own good, you bros should lay off the dimension hopping business. it’s dangerous.”

such a cute goodbye between the turtles! saying each other’s Call To Action and 80′s raph waving with two hands looking more like he’s making a snow angel

the ending just really hits me right in my soul for whatever reason. like... the beginning of so much good.... its like watching the big bang i cant explain it

[turtlestanfirst]

Can I have the turtle bois. Comfort a. Gay ( lesbian) human friend who recently came out about it and their parents wouldn’t accept them for who they are? This would really make my day. It kinda personal

hey @rustypotatochip18 , I can absolutely relate to this kind of thing and would just like to say if your parents (or anyone’s parents okay) don’t want to accept you for being you then you can absolutely hop in my IMs and I will personally become your new bi mother okay? I’m here for anyone in this kind of situation and you guys have all my love.

You also definitely have the turtles’ love too!

Raph🔥

As the eldest in his own family, Raph has definitely become a master of reading people, be it his own siblings or a dear friend. Of course he notices something is wrong when their human friend shows up to the lair looking fairly upset.

He doesn’t push them to talk, but immediately offers hugs.

Which is great because this boy gives some of the world’s best hugs.

He kind of just holds his friend until they decide to talk about what’s going on.

He isn’t at all happy to hear how their parents handled the news and offers to go yell at them for it. 

He would absolutely do it too if his friend asked. Not the smartest thing to do as a mutant turtle, but he certainly wouldn’t regret his actions.

He’d remind his friend that coming out is an act of true bravery and he admires them for it, and that they’re always accepted here in the lair. “There ain’t nothing wrong with you being you, no matter what anyone else says!”

He’d probably bake their favorite cookie for you to help cheer them up.

And also knit them a super comfy pride sweater!

“Just a little reminder that you should be proud of yourself. And that I’m proud of you too.”

Donnie💜

When he first heard what his friend’s parents did, his first reaction was to launch into a rant about how their reaction was completely uncalled for.

“Sexuality has evolved so much over the past millennium! Are they still stuck in the first ice age???”

His voice is like three octaves higher than usual he’s so mad, it sounds kind of funny.

Funny as it may sound, he realizes it’s probably not the most helpful thing ever and instead gives a small speech about how his friend’s parents’ feelings on the situation are completely irrelevant. His friend is who they are. If they’re gay, then people would just have to live with it.

Our local science nerd isn’t the best with emotional problems like this, but he can offer some wonderful hugs in these trying times. Snuggly hugs. If his friend needs to cry about it, he’ll hug them through the tears.

For days after hearing about it he sends them articles about the evolution of sexuality hoping to help them feel more validated.

Also little nerdy facts like “technically gay means happy so you go out there today and be your gayest self!”

It’s all very dorky.

Does it work? Who knows? But his heart is in the right place.

For a while after his friend comes out he acts more affectionate than usual. Hugs when they come visit, ruffling their hair, nudging their arm, whatever. He offers physical contact however they need it.

Leon🌀

If anyone’s going to cheer his friend up, it’s this guy.

To take their mind off it he offers an impromptu spa day complete with a vine compilation marathon

“Never underestimate the power of vines, my friend. It can clear acne if you watch enough of them.”

Also has a million hugs for his friend. He kind of just latches on to them and refuses to let go ever. It’s guaranteed to help, even if they end up having to shove him off and complain about him turning into a koala temporarily.

Those one-liners increase exponentially. They get funnier too. Anything to make them laugh.

He can’t cook or bake, but he enlists April’s help in getting baking mixes you can make together to help cheer you up. He works especially hard on pride cupcakes. They’re slightly burned, but he did his best.

LGBTQ+ movie marathon? Absolutely.

He is confident this will help boost their spirits.

After all this he gets serious just long enough to remind them that he’s going to support them no matter what, and that they shouldn’t let their parents’ reactions make them feel shame.

“If they want to be closed-minded jerks that’s completely on them. Don’t let that stop you from being yourself, you funky little gay!”

Mikey🔆

Ah yes, the sunshine boy

He won’t leave them alone until he’s confident they’re feeling better.

Mikey definitely is the kind to sneak into their room with pizza and his laptop. He sets up an iconic blanket fort and pulls up movie after movie to cheer them up.

He then holds onto them the whole time they watch movies.

He isn’t the best with words, but he does offer them a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear whenever they need it.

He surprises his friend the next day with a painting of them as a superhero, a pride flag tied around their neck.

“Because it was really brave of you to come out to them. You’re a real hero as far as I’m concerned!”

He texts them a lot checking in on them and making sure they’re feeling okay. 

Words may not be his strong suit, but he makes sure he’s there for his friend no matter the time of day!

[donatellotmnt]

Hey Donnie I think I know what made me cry the other night I think it was the fact that I am starting online homeschooling for the first time this year and I am a little nervous about it. The reason I am doing homeschooling is because at the middle school I went to a 5th grader was caught with a gun in his backpack at school and my mom thinks this will be a little more safe.

That seems understandable.

As someone who was homeschooled, welcome to homeschooling! You can get a great, one on one education that can be fantastic. I don’t blame your mom-the guns in schools are getting seriously out of hand. It’s becoming way too normal and no one should be afraid to go to school. Schools have to have intruder drills now and that’s just insane to me. 

I hope that homeschooling works out for you. It did for me and my brothers. I hope that your family takes advantage of all that it can bring and not just follow online guidelines and textbooks. Homeschooling can be so much more and you can do so much more with a class of say....four....like my brothers and I.

For instance, our day looked kind of like this:

Morning: 

We would cook breakfast. In Japan, often the children cook their own meals and then clean up afterwards in school. We did this as well. This taught us how to cook algae and worms really well as well as keep our spaces clean. It also taught us how hard it is and how long it takes to do things and so to appreciate those who cook and clean.

Reading: 

Sensei would find whatever books he could and make us read them. It didn’t matter what it was. We could find a how to guide on plumbing and we would read that. It taught us to read and how to plunge a toilet. All important skills.

Math:

Mathematics is very important and so Sensei made sure that we followed and new our algebra and geometry. We were able to work at our own paces and so if one of us didn’t get it, he didn’t keep us all back until he did. You could move on if you were ready to, and if you weren’t, he’d work with you until you got it.

Science:

There is a lot of science out in nature (or in our case the sewers). We learned about bacteria, gases, and chemistry first hand. You learn about diseases first hand. You learn about algae from the algae pools. Besides all the one on one first hand experiences, Sensei had us read any science book he could get his hands on. 

Physical Education:

Training....training.....training....

We had maps to learn Geography. We had History. The classes were unusually structured growing up, but I think it was because Sensei really liked things to be structured. If something broke he made us learn how to fix it. That was our Shop class. Listening to different radio stations and trying out instruments was our music class.

And don’t forget that you can learn a lot from youtube. If I need to know how to do something, a youtube tutorial helps out a lot. I also like the site Instructables. I learned how to make a soda can solar panel from that. it was awesome. April and her dad’s electric bills are going to plummet!

So yeah, homeschooling! Go to museums! Clean up litter in the park-environmental studies! Go to festivals just experience things. Every day you can learn something new.

So instead of being nervous, I want you to instead think of all of the educational field trips that you can take with your mom to learn things that can be in your area. This is a new adventure! Homeschooling can rock! 

[timeagainreviews]

An Unearthly Comparison

Before we begin, I would like to start by saying- I know that "An Unearthly Child," is considered part of the Cave of Skulls serial. I've chosen to treat it as it's own separate story, due to the fact that it has very little to do with the other three episodes. As far as I am concerned, you could have put any story at the end of An Unearthly Child, and the results would have been the same.

In the last two days since "The Woman Who Fell to Earth," aired, I've had discussions as to why the Doctor lost her TARDIS, and what that might mean. A worry I had was that the TARDIS had rejected Jodie, and was making her prove she was still the Doctor, which would suck for obvious reasons. But my friend suggested something else- it's just a plot device. And it makes sense. Why would Yasmine leave behind her job to travel with the Doctor? What better way is there to keep Graham and Ryan together as a family? The Doctor can't just kidnap people can she?

Watching "An Unearthly Child" can be really jolting for a lot of modern Doctor Who fans. The Doctor is cantankerous, aloof, unhelpful, and contumacious. Sure, we've seen these traits in all of our modern Doctors, but with William Hartnell, it's so prevalent. Which is why it's hard to believe there was a version of him that was even more unpleasant! So naturally, I had to find out for myself.

For those of you not in the know, when "An Unearthly Child" (or AUC) was originally filmed, BBC's Head of Drama, Sydney Newman, was unhappy with the results. He told producer Verity Lambert to reshoot the episode in its entirety with a few changes to the characters and script. Ironically, with all of the official episodes of Doctor Who that were destroyed, this unaired pilot still exists! The episode lived another sort of double life, as it was aired two weeks in a row, due to the Kennedy Assassination the day before the premiere. Or as Terry Pratchett put it- "because of public demand and that pesky business with the grassy knoll."

The beginnings of the two different versions of aren't all that different. There is an audible "bang," sound in the opening music that I had never noticed before. And oddly enough, the picture quality in the unaired version is a bit crisper. You can actually read the I.M. Forman written on the gate of the scrapyard on Totter's Lane. Though I will say the camera work in the aired version is much snappier. I'm not sure if it's just the version I have, or if it has anything to do with the 16 mm telerecording. Who knows?

Try to imagine, if you will, what it was like to watch Doctor Who back then. Science fiction was still a thing of ire. Spaceships were stupid looking, and the stories were hacky. But this was something different. Something like C.S. Lewis (who also died the day before the episode aired). No matter what programs Doctor Who has inspired since, there's still nothing quite like it. Nothing that gets so borderline surreal. Nothing that has so much staying power.

We're introduced to Ian and Barbara. Two teachers at Coal Hill School in London. Barbara is concerned about a mutual student who perplexes her. In rewatching these episodes, I was reminded of the scene in Donnie Darko when Drew Barrymore and Noah Wyle discuss the titular character, a student of theirs that seems to stand out from the rest. In comparing the two versions of AUC, the biggest difference is that Ian and Barbara are sitting down in the aired version, which seems like a good choice. There's a more intimate, less rushed feeling. They feel more familiar with one another. Evidently, the original script had indicated a romance between them but was later toned down. I don't know why. I ship it.

It's through this interaction that we meet Susan. I've always had some rather conflicted feelings about Susan. On one hand, she's kind of endearing, and in other ways, she's downright annoying. When we meet her through the lens of Ian and Barbara's perspective, she's brilliant, enigmatic, and strange. Possessing knowledge no person her age should actually know.

The Susan we meet moments later is a bit more of a kid you'd expect in the 1960's. She listens to surfer music by the fictional "John Smith and the Common Men," while sort of strumming along with the music. This marks the first appearance of the name John Smith in Doctor Who, by the way. The impression I get is that Susan was supposed to be kind of "hip." Even her hairstyle was designed by Vidal Sassoon, which is actually still pretty cool.

After surreptitiously trying to learn more about Susan's home situation by offering her a ride home, we're left alone with the young girl. One of the things I'm kind of sad they scrapped in the aired version, is Susan's little inkblot Rorschach test she reads like tea leaves. It was a very "I Ching," moment, that I thought made her seem almost mystical. Instead, the scene ends with Susan looking through a book on the French Revolution (all white with big black letters like it was produced in the Repo Man universe), and exclaiming- "That's not right!"

Ian and Barbara follow Susan to the address in her school file, 76 Trotter's Lane, the same scrapyard from the beginning of the episode. They follow her in to find nothing but a bunch of junk and a large blue police box. Upon touching it, Ian describes the box as "alive." It is at this point, that the two versions of the episode begin to diverge the most.

William Hartnell's initial portrayal of the Doctor is almost villainous. Where he's supposed to come off as mysterious, he comes off as scheming and methodical. Instead of thinking he has some great secret he's worried about getting out, he appears more to have some horrible secret he's hiding. You almost side with Ian and Barbara, that Susan is in danger. It's easy to see how this is wrong for the character. You want the Doctor to be independent, and at times, contrarian, but never to the point that he seems like the antagonist. Dr Smith in Lost in Space comes to mind. His initial portrayal was one of a villain, but over time, his strength was found in being a sort of anti-hero, and friend to Will Robinson.

The way they solved this? Well, he appears more curious. More aloof. Less direct and confrontational. There's a bit more twinkle in his eye the second time around. Vague threats turn into goading and daring. As Ian interrogates the Doctor, the Doctor takes interest in some of the random junk around him. His curiosity, mixed with his blasé attitude toward their concern gives him the right mix of intrigue and mischief. You can tell he's hiding something, but it feels less to evade justice, but rather to protect himself, Susan, and even the two interlopers.

A lot of the beauty in capturing this balance is in the name of the show. Who is this Doctor? Why is he in a scrapyard? What is the deal with that police box? These are the right questions that the audience should be asking. You should wonder about his intentions, but not be able to say outrightly- this man is a criminal. But Ian and Barbara are still unconvinced, as they push forward into the big box, and like a C.S. Lewis novel, into a whole new world.

Some of the best moments in Doctor Who are the big reveal of the TARDIS. It will never not be cool. But the unique element to this reveal is it's the first one that was a big reveal to the audience as well. That's actually rather unique when you give it some thought. Usually, we're all in on the joke, waiting for it. We know about the wide-eyed expressions, mouths agape. "It's bigger on the inside!" they'll say. You know something is weird about the police box. They've framed it in the middle of the shot. The episode begins around it. We've been beckoned toward it since the beginning of the story. Even with the red herring of seeing a policeman walking past it at the beginning, the low hum it emits betrays any sense that it is merely common.

Ian and Barbara, have at this point, seen too much. It's still early, days and our Doctor doesn't like showing off his special ship. We learn it's name, given by Susan as an acronym for "Time and Relative Dimension in Space," (later to be changed to "Dimensions," for no apparent reason). One of my favourite aspects of this scene is the Doctor explaining the TARDIS's dimensional capabilities by comparing it to television's ability to shrink a large object down onto a screen. It's sci-fi mumbo-jumbo, but I love it.

Another big difference we see here is that in the first version, Susan explains that she was born in the 49th century. It's a little too on the nose. Explains a little bit of the "Who" in the title too much. Another thing is the hum of the TARDIS is much more abrasive in the original version. In reviewing it just a moment ago, my cat gave me a rather cross look from the shrill noise. Like Ian said, “I have... a very sensitive ear.” Though this is not the last time the Radiophonic Workshop will pierce your eardrums.

It's in this scene that we see the greatest disparity in William Hartnell's performance. He's angry, confrontational, and even calls Susan a stupid child at one point. His temper is evident and not at all endearing. It makes his decision to kidnap Ian and Barbara less one of survival, and more of one of control. While it has never made a whole lot of sense what danger two school teachers knowing his secrets could present, the Doctor chooses to kidnap his new guests. We never know why he was in the scrapyard (though we do find out in later episodes) or why Susan wanted to attend school. Susan's "why," may be self-evident, in that she's a child who wants to be around other children, but the Doctor's reasons are less evident. Either way, the scene fares far better in the aired version.

What comes next is one of my favourite shots in the history of the show. There's something exhilarating about the TARDIS among a rocky terrain, and the approaching shadow that cuts a long menacing shape against the horizon. It's pure science fiction and yet another big reveal. The Doctor wasn't lying. This ship of his really can move through space in an instant. It's a beautiful beginning to one of television's greatest sagas.

Thanks for reading! I won't be writing the Cave of Skulls retrospective until maybe next week. I have a convention to attend this weekend, so I probably won't have the time. You should probably expect more series 11 coverage around then too!

[pass-the-bechdel]

Orphan Black season two full review

How many episodes pass the Bechdel test?

100% (ten of ten).

What is the average percentage per episode of female characters with names and lines?

50.4%

How many episodes have a cast that is at least 40% female?

All ten.

How many episodes have a cast that is less than 20% female?

None, obviously.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Twenty-four. Sixteen who appear in more than one episode, ten who appear in at least half the episodes, and two who appear in every episode.

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Thirty-two. Sixteen who appear in more than one episode, nine who appear in at least half the episodes, and one who appears in every episode.

Positive Content Status:

Thinks it’s better than it is. While there are undeniable positive points to the show, the creators are coasting on those and apparently oblivious to the problematic elements that still exist, which are more troubling this time around than they were in season one (average rating of 2.8). 

General Season Quality:

Better than the first, and mostly gripping and intriguing and surprising in quality dramatic turns rather than lazy flashy twists just for twists’ sake. That said, there are some duds in there that really interrupt the flow of story. There’s still a lot of room for improvement.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) under the cut:

Let’s talk about dudes.

Normally, I don’t go for the guy discussions in these season reviews unless a) there are almost no women to speak of on the show, and/or b) I’m several seasons in and I have nothing to say about the women that I haven’t already said in previous reviews. Neither of those is true in this case, but the fact remains that there is one really big obvious weak link who manages to find his way to the centre of most of my major content issues with this show, and as much as I would love to NOT waste time talking about Paul, I probably gotta do it.

First things first: this show loves how attractive Paul supposedly is, and it’s bad. Not just because I think he looks like a doorknob, but because of the way the show handles him because it wants us all to see him as ‘the man-candy’. Obviously, the biggest problem that throws up is the dubiously-consensual pointless sex scenes, because maybe-actually-rape-but-we’re-too-busy-being-titillated-to-figure-that-out scenes are super high on the list of Things Which Should Not Happen On My Television Screen. It counts for the scene with Rachel in this season the same as the scenes with Sarah in the first one; if the show were less preoccupied with ‘Big Dick Paul’ being sexually available, we could avoid at least some of this awfulness (no guarantee they’d skip it altogether if Beth Childs had been dating an ‘average’ guy, but more of a chance of that if they hadn’t deliberately cast an ‘Alpha Hottie’ prototype mistake). Now, I hear the chime of ‘but they’re objectifying a man the same way that women are usually objectified! It’s subversive!’, but, no. Assault-adjacent voyeurism isn’t suddenly ok just coz it’s a dude. That’s not how subversion works, but it IS how double-standards that marginalise male victims works! The fact that this show is too busy finding Paul hot to bother evaluating the situations they showcase that within is a problem. The fact that Paul also has no discernible personality and therefore no discernible emotions about those situations is also a problem.

Paul having no personality is a significant part of why he’s an objectively garbage character, but it also plays in to the Bad News about the way the show handles him since they neglect to allow him fallout from his own experiences. What did Paul think about having sex with Rachel? We don’t fucking know. It happens and then he just goes and does some Paul things that Paul does and I’m not sure if he and Rachel even share a scene again? At any rate, him becoming her new handler et al. comes to nothing since he disappears for most of the season soon after, which just makes the whole gross sex thing worse because it really is meaningless, with no plot relevance even in the form of character responses. If Rachel has sex with Paul because she perceives him as something of Sarah’s (ew) and she’s out to get her, well, Sarah doesn’t care and Rachel doesn’t gloat and the whole thing just disappears, so, zero consequence. Things related to Paul’s presence on the show have a tendency to be like that, and that’s why he’s the weak link even when he’s not having questionable sex. The narrative repeatedly tells us that Paul is somehow important and what he does and who he’s allied to matters (remember how we also got that awful problematic visit from Tony the trans clone just so that we could waste an entire episode on the ‘revelation’ that Paul is some kind of black ops ‘ghost’, even though we, like...knew that already?). At least in the first season, Paul’s existence had a purpose because he was Beth’s handler, but once he found out that Sarah was Sarah and Beth was dead and, oh yeah, there’s clones, instead of becoming a stronger character for being in the loop, he got worse. What are Paul’s motivations, actually? What are his moral principles? What matters to him, what drives him, what gets him out of bed in the morning to shave his cereal-box face? I haven’t the faintest fucking idea. He mumbled some things once in an irritating tone of voice that I couldn’t hear properly, something about military history and Afghanistan, but you’ve gotta do better than that for character backstory. His entire existence is not based around that one experience, not least because he had to have had an existence predating the experience which in itself influenced how the Afghanistan thing turned out. Season three does appear poised to Do Something with Paul’s military life, but excuse me if I’m neither excited by that prospect, nor expecting it to suddenly make him have a personality. Honestly, why start now? He’s a meaningless character who just shows up intermittently (he’s only in half the episodes in season two) and has ~mysterious motives~ that conveniently allow him to do whatever the plot has decided he should do today, and then he flits off again, usually without having any lasting impact on the story, making it seem like he’s being written content just because someone decided he Has To Be On The Show, not because they have any place or purpose for him. They seem to care a LOT about making us think he matters, not so much about making him actually matter. 

Paul being meaningless and yet given an inordinate amount of narrative attention whenever he bothers to show up is also INFURIATING because meanwhile, the actual-good characters are getting shafted. What did poor Art Bell get to do this season? Nothing much really, he was just that convenient Other Guy when they wanted to parcel something out his way. Like Paul actually, he got LESS quality story to work with after finding out about the clones, instead of getting more engagement. Most of what Art did this season was babysitting clones, often with Felix, who the show did only a little better at giving plot relevance. It’s a sad damn waste for most of the stronger male presences from the first season - the only one who gets some good stuff to work with this season is Donnie, really. Along with these three, Scott the science nerd, Mark the Prolethian boy-clone, and ye olde Ethan Duncan  complete the illustrious list of Male Characters In More Episodes This Season Than Paul, and yet the plot between them is pretty thinly spread. Of course, on a female-centric show like this, there’s no reason why we should be crying over spilled male character purpose, but when you keep seeing the same faces one episode after the next it starts to mess with the plotting of your show when those faces don’t seem to be there for much of a reason. It’s one of the things that really stood out about the weak season finale: lots of characters in the cast list with nothing to actually add to the plot of the episode, and meanwhile, in waltzes Paul in his stupid uniform as if his return is momentous... 

In waltzes Paul, and he meets Cal, who is in the same number of episodes as him this season as well as sharing a few other traits in common, the overt ‘man-candy’ one being flagged by Siobhan out loud just in case we hadn’t realised Cal is supposed to be hot too. As I said when he first showed his scruffy face, he has got more immediate charm and evidence of a personality of some description than Paul does, and while that’s not high praise it is better than being Paul. But I’m still not sold on Cal and it concerns me that the show is throwing another blando at Sarah, like she can’t just have her plot without also boning Prescription Babes along the way (and no, that’s not cool subversion either, that’s ‘woman needs a man’ cliche even when said woman is fucking surrounded by other strong capable female presences. Wasting time on a pointless male love interest is not subversive, but it DOES detract from time and relationships with other female characters who could fill the role without adding boring sex scenes just coz!). Cal has the makings of a real character, but they gotta at least make an effort, because currently he’s a handful of convenient skills in happy-puppy packaging who just kinda goes along with things in a way-too-passive fashion, just-happening to work out that Sarah is a clone off-screen where we don’t have to deal with the mess of him having a personal reaction to, um, anything. We never had enough time with Cal to establish a personality in which to contextualise the revelation of fatherhood, the forgiveness of the con artist who stole his money, the shock upheaval of his entire life as he knows it, the going on the run, the evil corporation and the clones and the and the and the...it’s a bit much to be not bothering to characterise on. You can’t throw all that out there and tell me that the guy went through the teething process on it in the space of three lines before he went and fell back in bed with Sarah again. Come on.

Usually, when I talk about dudes in these season reviews, I’ll repeat my line about how the way a show handles its male characters is as important to the issue of positive female representation as the handling of the female characters, because even if the female characters kick ass you can still fuck up the content royally through bad male characters being framed as cool heroes alongside them. Failure to include men in your feminism only allows the very problems you’re standing against to perpetuate and fester, because you can’t address a systemic issue without looking at all the angles. Orphan Black looks and smells like a show that should be making strides for progress with its stocked cast of dynamic and empowering female characters of various kinds, but it is hampered by an oversupply of male characters who take up screen time without having anything much to do. Fixing that doesn’t have to mean paying more attention to the men (because honestly, the world at large got to this problem point by doing way too much of that already, that’s why we’re talking), but it does mean working out why your male characters exist in the narrative and whether or not they’re necessary or being used to potential. For this show in particular, Paul really is the weak link, not just as an individual character, not just as a place where plot goes to be rendered inert, but as a centrepiece for a story that is oddly determined to keep a lot of male characters around without trying very hard to have a reason for it. ‘He’s there to be hot’ is not a valid reason, and it IS the same thing we’ve been railing against happening to female characters since the dawn of television, but it’s not a valuable subversion, it isn’t helping anything. The flip side of female characters having to fight to be allowed to have meaningful plot-relevant stories in male-dominant media is not to have male characters being pointless eye candy instead, it’s to have male characters be less dominant and only exist if they have a good reason for it. If they’re still occupying more than their fair share of space, then they’re still a problem.

 ...and thus, I will conclude another Orphan Black season review feeling weird and put-out about this show and my inability to really click with it. Is Paul their weakest link? Yes, fight me. Is Paul being their weakest link a crippling problem for the whole narrative? No, not especially. As noted, it has the potential to kill whole episodes or at least swathes of story that are given over to his meaninglessness for absolutely no sensible reason, like part of the show has to be sacrificed to a vengeful expressionless God otherwise it’ll get cancelled, but when Paul isn’t around - which he often isn’t - the plot is still getting along and doing interesting things that I haven’t seen before. So, why is it still falling kinda flat for me? I have a few more ideas as to why, but we’ll get to that (and then hopefully, we’ll get to me changing my mind about it). Until then...

[pcurrytravels]

Why I Loved: Chicago

Hello all, and welcome to the first post in my “Why I Loved” series. Today, I’ll be talking about my love for the city of Chicago. 

Chicago is a city that I have a strange and unusual connection with. It’s the hometown of my mother and her two sisters. Well, my mom and her older sister were actually born in a small town in Alabama but moved to Chicago when they were both really little. Kinda like how I was born in Chicago but moved to Vegas when I was really little. The difference between the two of them and me however is this: They’ve always acknowledged Chicago as their home despite being born elsewhere (well my aunt actually kinda acknowledges both as being home for her but that’s besides the point here), whereas only until VERY recently, I would insist to you that my home was Chicago and not Vegas. Even though I have a deep understanding of the latter and only a passing understanding of the former.

Thankfully, I’ve grown out of this, even though I still feel quite misplaced sometimes (the fact that my mother essentially moved down here on a whim, taking me along for the ride, doesn’t help matters), but that’s a topic that should be saved for a future “Love Hate Thang” post. Anyways.......Chicago!

One thing I have to hand to the place: easy to access airports! Out of all the places I’ve been to so far (though I will note that still isn’t very many) Chicago and San Francisco have to be the two places with the easiest airport access. Chicago’s metro line (Affectionately known by residents as The eL) has lines that go directly to both Midway and O’Hare! Compare this to New York where the subway doesn’t even go anywhere near LaGuardia. Or McCarran International Airport in my city where........you know what? Let’s not even get started on that mess, lol. 

Oh, and speaking of The eL, being an above ground railway system and everything, it’s quite useful for exploring! I saw so much of the city just by riding the eL. Weaving between the caverns of the imposing skyscrapers of The Loop, looking down upon the neighborhoods that radiate away in every direction like a circle of sorts. Ah, the neighborhoods.

There are many places that are known as being a “City of Neighborhoods” so to speak, but Chicago is probably where that moniker is more true than anywhere. The Loop may be the center of it all, but beyond that there’s the North, West and South sides. The three of which already have characters and identities distinct enough that they could very well be their own cities, so, as unique as every neighborhood is, they each follow the trends of their respective areas.

The affluent North Side is home to enclaves like the rowdy Lincoln Park, Old Town which is very much like Chicago’s equivalent of Haight-Ashbury, the LGBTQ+ village of Boystown and, the neighborhood where I spent the earliest days of my life, Uptown. 

The culturally abundant West Side plays host to ethnic neighborhoods such as Little Italy (which also happens to be the area where my mom and her sisters grew up), Greektown and Pilsen in addition to the infamously hipster Wicker Park.

Even the long-maligned South Side isn’t without it’s spots of vibrancy, such as Chinatown, the historic Bronzeville and the diverse, college-town atmosphere of Hyde Park. During the time period where my destination addiction was at its worst, I’d research Chicago and a number of other places to the point of obsession, and this whole neighborhood element was a thing I always envied. I guess the wide variety just seems so exciting to me in comparison to the monotonous seas of cookie-cutter homes, apartment complexes and strip malls I’m used to.

The neighborhoods all have a wide variety of things to offer. Plenty of places to shop. Lots of history. Great food around every corner.....oh my god, the FOOD.

Chicago has some of the most delicious food in the world (I’m saying that with a limited range of experience, I know). For starters, Chicago has two particular styles of pizza, both of which are amazing: the deep-dish; a demented cross between pizza, lasagna and cake where the arrangement is literally upside down (the sauce is on top and the toppings are on the bottom) and one slice is sure to fill you up that can be found at Gino’s, Giordano’s or Lou Malnati’s and the thin crust; so thin it has a cracker-like crunch to the bite. Home Run Inn is one of the places that specializes in this type of pizza.

Next, you have the Italian Beef sandwich. A sandwich containing loads of well-seasoned roast beef, topped off with au jus (or “gravy” as Chicagoans call it), giardiniera and sweet peppers, placed on a long, fresh roll of Italian bread. You can also order it combo style, in which they add some Italian sausage and provolone cheese as well. Mmmm, a heart attack on a sandwich.

Of course, how could we forget the hot dogs! All beef, topped with everything except ketchup (it would also be wise to not ask for ketchup, ever) and placed on a poppyseed bun. Mmm, mmm, mmm! There’s also the Maxwell Street Polish, i.e. Polish sausage on a bun with grilled onions and mustard, Harold’s Chicken and the popcorn “mix” as they call it. You see, in Chicago, eating caramel and cheese popcorn together is considered normal. Garrett’s would be my suggestion. 

It goes far beyond food. Chicago just has a lot of culture in general. For starters, you have the museums. Field for natural history, Adler for space stuff, Shedd for the sea, Science & Industry for science and technology related stuff, DuSable for Black American history, and just so much more from there. The zoos are awesome and who doesn’t love Millennium Park and Navy Pier? 

Oh, and need I remind you all of the role Chicago has in music history? After all it’s managed to create distinctive sounds and/or subgenres in blues (think Muddy Waters, Howlin’ Wolf and Buddy Guy), soul (think Curtis Mayfield, The Staple Singers, The Emotions and Donny Hathaway), funk (think Rufus/Chaka Khan, Earth, Wind & Fire and Curtis Mayfield again)  contemporary R&B (think Donell Jones, Jennifer Hudson, Dave Hollister and *lets out a REALLY long sigh* R. Kelly), alternative rock (think The Smashing Pumpkins, OK Go, Fall Out Boy and Plain White T’s) and hip hop (think early Yeezy, Da Brat, Twista, Common and Chance The Rapper). To add to this, Chicago is also the birthplace of one of my personal favorites, House music. (R.I.P. Frankie Knuckles)

Alas, there is a dark side. For all of it’s glory, Chicago has a lot of poverty and street violence. It actually has one of the highest homicide rates in the entire country. Because of it, some people like to condescendingly refer to the place as “Chi-Raq.” The high-end glamour of Michigan Avenue and State Street compared to the run-down ruggedness of the 50s on the South Side is like a night and day contrast. Chicago is a beautiful place, but this is a sad reality that shouldn’t be ignored. 

On occasion, I still do wonder how my life could have been had my mother not moved to Vegas on a poorly thought out whim back in the early 1990s. As I’ve come of age and matured however, I’ve learned to make my peace with the cards that were dealt. After all, in some ways, it may have been for the best. My mom and her sisters did grow up in the former Jane Addams housing project on Taylor Street (pictured above) which, while nowhere near as bad as Cabrini-Greene, was rough enough, even back in the 1970s. So yeah, they know all about that life. 

However, one thing I must admire is the resilience. My half-sister lives in Auburn-Gresham on the South Side. One of my aunts and her family live in West Garfield Park on the West Side. Are their neighborhoods dangerous? Yes. Do they plan on leaving? No. In spite of the blight and unfortunate events which surround and abound, to them, it’s still home. They love the place, so much so that some of them work in local state/government positions like healthcare, education and criminal justice. They chose to work in those fields because they want to help bring in some much needed change. 

Such an attitude is not uncommon in Chicago, and it actually sheds some hopeful light on the situation. Now, granted, I only know so much from where I’m sitting, but I could only hope that this type of love and pride in the community may help make way for a better day some time soon.

Oh boy, I just had to say love and pride, didn’t I? Yes, Chicagoans are fiercely proud of their city and will not hesitate to remind you of it. The Bulls? The Bears? The Blackhawks? The Cubs/White Sox (who’s rooting for who depends on a number of factors here)? They remain loyal to them to the end. Willis Tower? No, it’s the Sears Tower. Macy’s on State Street? No, it’s Marshall Fields. And don’t you dare try and say that NYC pizza is better than Chicago pizza. Hands will be caught (okay, joking, but not really). 

Tangent time: Okay, I know this should be in one of my Love/Hate Thang posts, but here goes: if there’s one thing I envy about Chicago more than anything else, it’s this deep pride, love and knowledge it’s citizens have of the city. It’s so heartwarming to see honestly, only to become depressing when I remember the dearth of that in my actual hometown.  True, many Vegas natives and residents claim to have a lot of love, pride and knowledge of this city, but I rarely meet anyone who legitimately backs that up. After many years, I’ve finally unlearned my ~*fantasy*~ of Chicago so to speak, but the “deep pride, love and knowledge” part is one thing I still greatly desire. It’s probably a major part of why I was so deluded in the first place. I will note that this is slowly beginning to change, however, so time will only tell. /tangent over

For the first time in eight years, I am going to take another excursion to Chicago in July. I for one am quite excited to not only go to the museums and dig into the food again, as well as take part in the local nightlife now that me and my half-sister are both legal! Honestly, if I could visit once or twice a year, I would, as there’s just so much to learn and explore there. 

It may not be my real hometown, but the connection is still there. So I will never turn my back on the place. Until next time.