#shit I love them so fucking much I wanna cry
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I'm way too stoked to write a proper intro, so let's get right into it 😂
“It’s better that you don’t know,” Charlie said.
Not shady at all 🙄 He's such a mess
At least he came to the realization himself, even if his solution clearly isn't well thought through 😅 I can see his good intentions, though. Hope he realizes soon enough that he needs to accept some help 💔
But then to be gone for four months???? 👀 What the hell did he get into?!
So here you sat, in the living room of Dory’s apartment, crying into a jar of Nutella that you’d long ago stopped spreading over the strawberries she’d laid out.
Been there 🤣🤣 (But honestly, eating pure Nutella and just spooning it out of the jar is the fucking best, even though you feel like shit after 😂)
I love that she didn't want to call the cops to protect her brother. I'm glad she sees he's only lost and still wants to help him, no matter what (even when he apparently burns the house down 🙈). It also makes complete sense she doesn't want to lose him, considering everyone she's already lost 😢
She's always so strong and keeps it together because she's always had to do that, but I'm glad she could go for a moment with Russell ❤️
Your nerves had you pacing back and forth across the living room as it rang.
I'm legit freaking out with her. I'd be just an anxious, nervous mess too haha
“What, you wanna make out with him too?” she teased. Your mouth dropped open in disbelief.
DEAD 💀🤣🤣🤣
But yeah, seriously, what the fuck was in those woods they grew up in? Magic water??? 🔥🫠
Dory sniffed as tears welled up in her eyes, looking up at both of her brothers. Colter wore a more reserved smile, but he did wrap an arm around his sister and thump his older brother on the back.
Ugh, I want a full family reunion so badly on the show 😭 Thank you for this 🤍
Your brows rose. “I don’t think so.” Colter’s mouth parted, and he blinked, like he hadn’t expected you to push back quite like that; calm and matter of fact.
Love her 🤍 Also, you captured Colter's personality so well! His reactions crack me up so much. He's either always super focused or gives sarcastic deadpan answers 🤣
“I haven’t seen Charlie since he quit last week,” Jimmy claimed. “He quit?” you said. “They told me he just never came back.” “Yeah, well, same thing,” he said.
No, it's not! God, what an idiot. Help 😂
And again, what the hell did Charlie get into??? Missing artifacts, and now she's getting kidnapped? I hope the guys find them before the bad guys hurt either reader or Charlie.
Also, Russell surely will bite himself in the ass for not just taking her to the bar with them after this 🙈
Gaaaaah, I can't wait to read the next part! I'm on the edge of my seat 😁👏🍿
Every Second Counts - Part 2
Pairing: Russell Shaw x F. Reader
Summary: One date with your best friend’s brother leaves you wanting more, even though his questionable job and vagabond lifestyle make you want to guard your heart. When your brother falls into trouble, however, Russell is the one you trust to help you find him.
AN: I decided to put this chapter out a bit early due to some Father's Day stuff tomorrow. I was blown away by the response from you guys on Part 1!! Thank you so much. 🥰 I had some trepidation writing a new character, but I'm so glad you guys seem to enjoy where this little series is going so far. It makes me even more excited to bring you the next chapter of ESC! 💜
Song Inspo: “Too Late” by The Paper Kites
Word Count: 5.3K
Tags/Warnings: Shaw family feels, a bit of mystery, tinge of fluff and mutual pining, and a twist…
💜 Series Masterlist
Part 2: “Family Reunion”
The next day after he left, you finally managed to get Charlie on the phone. He implored you not to try and find him.
He claimed he was staying with a friend for now, and was picking up some odd jobs through a connection at the museum—another security guard who knew how to get extra work.
“What kind of extra work?” you asked. You sunk back into the couch in your living room and held a hand to your aching head. You had already lost sleep over this, worrying about where he was and what the hell he was doing.
“It’s better that you don’t know,” Charlie said.
He really knew how to frustrate you to the nth degree.
“Charlie, just come home. Please,” you said. Tears burned in your eyes, choking your words. “I’m sorry for what I said, okay? We’ll figure this out together, I promise.”
You heard him sigh.
“You had a right to be mad,” he said. “I’m the big brother, remember? But I’m…I’m a fucking mess. You shouldn’t have to take care of me.”
“We take care of each other, and you know that,” you said sharply, wiping at your eyes in frustration.
“Listen, I’ll come home when I can, okay? Be good.”
“Charlie! Ch—” The call ended, and you nearly tossed your phone in aggravation.
“That stubborn fucking idiot,” you muttered.
Four months later, your worry was eating you alive.
Charlie refused to come home or tell you where he was staying. The only time you got to see him was when you visited him on his night shift at the museum. You tried to talk him into coming home, but your brother remained stubborn.
“You get that from Dad,” you’d told him once, while watching him eat some leftover meatloaf you’d made for him. The two of you stood outside the museum on his break.
Charlie had smirked at you. “Yeah, well, you share the disease.”
You’d rolled your eyes at that.
But just when you thought you were starting to get through to him, now, he’d stopped answering your calls. For that matter, the museum hadn’t even seen or heard from him in a week or so.
So here you sat, in the living room of Dory’s apartment, crying into a jar of Nutella that you’d long ago stopped spreading over the strawberries she’d laid out. You had a chocolate-covered butterknife in one hand and a used Kleenex in the other.
Dory was sat next to you on the couch, rubbing your back with sympathy and concern in her own eyes.
“You should call the police,” she advised.
You’d thought of that, but if Charlie was doing something he wasn’t supposed to, then depending on what it was, you didn’t want necessarily want him locked up in a cell. He wasn’t a bad person, he was just…lost. You wanted him to get help.
You set down the butterknife beside the jar and turned to her, after drying your eyes the best you could.
“Do you think your brother would be willing to come back to Wyoming?” you said. After a beat of hesitation, you specified:
“Colter, the tracker.”
You hadn’t had a chance to meet him when he dropped in a couple of months ago, but she’d told you about his brief visit to find a graduate student who had been kidnapped, and nearly killed by a professor in the Sciences department for uncovering a flaw in the man’s research. That flaw would have costed him his entire grant, and possibly his career and reputation.
The terrible incident had caused an uproar on campus. Students were released from their classes for an entire day after the professor was arrested.
Now, Dory considered your question with a thoughtful nod. “I’ll call him.”
You were grateful, but your face became pained as something occurred to you. You held up a hand.
“Wait, I just realized I can’t pay him,” you said. You didn’t have more than a thousand dollars in your savings account, and that was for emergencies. Like the time Charlie nearly burned the house down after a lighting mishap with his bong.
“Oh, sweetie, don’t worry about that,” Dory said. She laid a comforting hand on your arm. “He’d do this as a favor to me.”
“I don’t know,” you replied, your brows furrowing. “That’s a pretty big favor.”
She’d told you what some of Colter’s fees could run up to, but she tried to quell your reservations and promised to call him regardless.
However, the more you thought about it, you already had a phone number in your cell…for the one person who would understand the part of your brother that you might never be able to.
After you left Dory’s apartment, you debated the idea in your head for the entire drive home.
And when you got to the house, you picked up your cell, and you called him. Your nerves had you pacing back and forth across the living room as it rang.
“Hey, sweetheart.”
You couldn’t help smiling just at the sound of his voice, smooth and pleased, and a hint surprised.
“Hey,” you replied, biting your lip. “How are you?”
“I’m good. You’ve got good timing too. I just came off a job,” he said.
“Oh really? Where are you?”
“Well, I’m states-side now. Just got back from South America.”
“Oh, wow,” you said, blinking incredulously.
What the hell was he doing there? you had to wonder. Maybe he was protecting some Latin American emissary. Or maybe, he was doing things you didn’t want to think about. Your brother had filled you in a bit about civilian contract jobs in recent weeks, as he’d considered going after those himself.
“They can pay very well, from what I hear,” Charlie had said. “The problem with that is, it kind of defeats the purpose of leaving the military.”
Despite that mildly troubling thought, you tried to focus on the fact that you had this man on the phone at all.
A smile formed across your lips. “Did you get yourself a nice tan?”
“Eh, not really. Was more of a night job,” he said. “But uh…how are you doing? Not gonna lie, I’m surprised to hear from you.”
“Yeah, I’m…I’m not all that good, if I’m honest,” you said.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. You heard the concern in his voice. You steeled yourself before you answered.
“Russell, I’m sorry, but I need to ask you for a big favor.”
“Hmm, this sounds serious,” he said.
“Yeah, it is,” you agreed. When you next took a breath, it came out unsteady. “My brother’s missing.”
It was a bright Saturday morning when you welcomed Russell Shaw into your house. He looked around, finding family pictures, bookshelves, paintings, candles, all things that began to shade in who you were in the comfort of your home.
“It’s nice,” he said. “It’s uh, homey.”
You smiled and closed the door behind him.
“Well, it’s the house we grew up in,” you replied.
You and Charlie had of course inherited it after your parents’ passing. Their life insurance policies had helped pay off the three-bedroom house while you two were still in school. Your grandparents helped a lot back then too, and had even moved in for a time. Now they each had plots beside your parents at Grandview Cemetery.
“You want some coffee? I know you had a long drive,” you asked.
“Sure,” Russell agreed. He followed you to the kitchen, where you put on the coffee pot. You made a discreet glance at him. He looked virtually the same, with that familiar green jacket, jeans, boots, and a Jimi Hendrix shirt. You'd had a feeling he was a classic rock guy.
“Look, not that I wasn’t glad to get your call,” Russell said, “but you do know that I’m not the tracker in the family, right?”
“Dory did offer to call Colter, but I can’t afford to pay him,” you said.
“I could help with that,” said Russell. You raised up a hand to stop him there.
“I don’t want that kind of help from you,” you said firmly. “I didn’t call you for money, Russell. I called you because you’ll probably understand where Charlie’s head’s at. Better than me, anyway.”
He hesitated, but nodded in understanding. When the coffeemaker dinged, finished percolating, you turned to make him a mug with cream and sugar, as per his request.
While he waited for the coffee to cool, he admired you for a moment. Even in a plain V-neck shirt and a pair of jeans, your hair swung up in a ponytail, you were still a sight. (Your lipstick did match your shirt though. That made him smile.)
And Russell could admit, it was good to see you again.
“Me and Colter reconnected recently. Did Dory tell you?” he said.
Your brows raised high in surprise. “Oh yeah?”
The two of you found your way back to the living room with your mugs.
“Yeah. We talked for the first time in…shit, over twenty years,” Russell laughed, raking a hand through his hair.
Not only had he been able to say his piece to Colter about their…family issues, they’d also solved a case of their own, with Colter agreeing to help him find his friend Doug, who worked for the same black ops contract agency as Russell. The Horizon Group.
The aftermath of that still left Russell with a bitter taste in his mouth when he thought of how Horizon would’ve left Doug to rot, if it hadn’t been for him and Colter pressing their luck and digging deeper into who’d taken his friend.
That whole mess had also made Russell begin to wonder if maybe he needed a new line of work after all. But, because the money was just that good, he’d ended up on a new job by the end of the month.
Your voice soon broke him from his thoughts.
“I’m glad to hear that,” you said. You reached over and touched his arm, with warmth in your eyes.
Russell gave you a smile. The closeness between you brought up memories of that dusty bar, and the taste of lime and tequila on your soft, supple lips. But you subtly cleared your throat and took your hand back. He hid a twinge of disappointment.
“So what’s going on with your brother?” Russell asked.
Get back on track, he reminded himself.
You sighed. “Damn Charlie.”
Over coffee, you explained that Charlie took off a few months ago, the night you got back from the bar. You had seen him only briefly, whenever you were able to catch him at the museum after work. He’d been keeping in touch with you on a weekly basis, but now, he hadn’t called in almost two weeks. You couldn’t get ahold of him on any of the numbers you had. They all seemed to be burner phones. Plus, he’d been let go from his job at the museum after not showing up for the past week.
“What’s he into, extracurricular-wise?” Russell asked.
“I don’t know. He wouldn’t tell me,” you said in frustration. Tears prickled at your eyes, and your lower lip trembled. “He said it was safer that way.”
Russell laid a supportive hand over yours, earning your watery gaze.
“And you haven’t gone to the police?” he asked.
“I think he’s gotten into something…dangerous. I don’t want to get him in more trouble than he might be already,” you said. “I just want him to get help for his problems. Physically and mentally.”
Russell nodded. He understood that you wanted to protect your brother. Sometimes though, getting into “trouble” was the rock bottom someone needed in order to face their problems.
“Does he have friends?” he asked. “Some kinda crowd he hangs around with?”
“Not anymore. I think he’s lost touch with his Air Force buddies,” you said, though you tried to think. Your brows furrowed as something occurred to you. “He knew someone at work, at the museum. Another security guard on his same shift. After they cut his hours down to part-time, Charlie said the guy knew how to get extra work.”
“Okay, that’s definitely where we start,” said Russell. “Let me just give Dory a call. If I don’t let her know I’m in town, I don’t even wanna know the consequences.”
You laughed through your tears and tried to brush them away.
“Yeah, do that. I wouldn’t want to get you in trouble.”
Russell took one look at you, and he tightened his hold on your hand.
“Hey,” he said.
You glanced up at him, as tears clung to your lashes. His heart couldn’t help but clench for you. He really didn’t like to see you like this.
“We’re gonna find him. You’ve got my word,” he said.
You were desperate to believe him. So you nodded, sniffling as you tried and failed to keep yourself together. You were scared, for the first time in a long time.
“All right, come ‘ere,” Russell said. When he guided you into his arms, you went willingly. You pressed your face into his chest to hide your weeping. His hold was warm and strong enough to make you feel secure. Just for this moment, you didn’t have to pretend you had everything handled.
“He’s the only family I have,” you reminded him. He nodded.
“I hear ya. We’ll get him home,” he said. “And I am going to call Colter. Don’t worry about the rest. I’ll square it up with him.”
“Russell—” you protested, but he just squeezed you playfully.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll pull big brother rank. He’s got no choice,” he joked.
You shook your head, but you allowed him to comfort you for a bit longer. Because all too soon, you’d have to steel yourself again. You’d have to be the version of yourself that you always had to be, ever since you were fourteen years old.
You invited Dory over to your house, where the three of you were soon joined by the last of the Shaw siblings: the one you had yet to meet.
Colter made it in time for dinner that afternoon. The tall blonde took up your doorway with his broad shoulders and offered you a polite smile, along with his hand.
“Hi, I’m Colter,” he said.
You mentally tripped up a bit as you shook his hand and gave him your name. Did all the Shaw siblings have to be so damn attractive?
“Uh, yes, please come in.” You ushered him into your home and led him into the living room, where Russell stood from the couch.
“Ahh, there he is,” Russell grinned, slapping his younger brother on the shoulder.
“Here you are,” Colter gestured at him. “Where the hell did you take off to after last time?”
“Ah, you know. Argentina was fun.”
“I’m sure it was.”
You paused in the doorway, just watching the brothers in mystification. Dory shot you a questioning look as she came over from the kitchen. You met her with raised brows.
“What?” Dory asked. A smile played on her lips.
“Do all of you have to be so unbelievably pretty?” you whispered over to her. Dory smirked and bumped your shoulder, nodding at Colter.
“What, you wanna make out with him too?” she teased.
Your mouth dropped open in disbelief. Dory just laughed and moved on to say hello to the other blonde. She pulled him down into a hug, and he reciprocated warmly.
Russell then laid a hand on Colter’s shoulder, as well as Dory’s. He wore a big, proud grin.
“Hey. Look at us, huh?” he said.
Dory sniffed as tears welled up in her eyes, looking up at both of her brothers. Colter wore a more reserved smile, but he did wrap an arm around his sister and thump his older brother on the back.
You smiled. You were lingering by the kitchen doorway. If nothing else, you were glad that this whole mess had been able to bring Dory back together with her family.
You decided to give them a moment, and you wandered back into the kitchen. There you took a beat for yourself, mainly to breathe.
When you again thought of Charlie, you had to wonder just what the hell he’d gotten himself into.
Later, the four of you sat in the living room so you could explain everything you knew so far to Colter. He took all the information in with a pensive expression that didn’t reveal much to you.
“So you said he was struggling?” he said.
“Yes, after he got out of the military,” you confessed. “He had a hard time figuring himself out. I got him the job at the museum, but I don’t think it was enough for him.”
“Why is that?” Colter asked. He saw that you were reluctant to explain. “I need to know the full picture of who Charlie is if I’m going to be able to figure out his probable moves.”
You sighed. “Well, he was seeing a VA psychiatrist for a while. They wanted to put him on antidepressants, but he stopped going. He…started self-medicating instead.”
That part was hard to admit, but it was the truth. You couldn’t pretend it wasn’t any longer.
“What substances?” Colter asked.
“Alcohol, mainly,” you replied. “At his worst, there were hard drugs, but I got him to tone it down just to weed every now and then.”
You bit at your thumbnail out of habit, but you forced yourself to stop, folding your hands in your lap. You didn’t see judgment in Colter’s eyes, just him taking in the information. You couldn’t help but glance at Dory, where you found her sympathy. She knew enough about what you’d been dealing with for the past few years. Russell seemed understanding as well.
“Anything else I should know?” Colter asked. You shook your head. You felt bad about revealing Charlie’s business like this, but you knew it was the only way to help him. Still, you felt you had to defend him a little.
“Look, my brother has his problems, but he’s a good man,” you said. “He, um…he basically half raised me, after our parents died.”
Dory also knew this story. She rested a hand on your back, and you gave her what smile you could.
“How old were you?” Russell asked. He earned your attention, and you met his sympathetic gaze.
“Fourteen,” you answered. “It was a car accident.”
He took that in, nodding slowly. “I’m sorry.”
The way he met your eyes when he said it, you believed him. You subtly cleared your throat and directed the conversation back.
“So, I don’t have a lot of money. But I can give you something for your services,” you said to Colter. Both Russell and Dory met you with similar looks.
“I’ve got it,” Dory says, before Russell had the chance. Colter waved her off though.
“In this case, it’s not necessary,” he said, focusing on you again. “So Charlie was working at the local museum?”
You breathed a note of relief at his generosity. Dory, Russell, and now Colter…they were all good people in their own way. You felt emotion rise in your throat.
“Yes, it’s about ten minutes away,” you managed to reply. “It’s closed now, but his coworker could be on shift. They always have security in place.”
You grabbed your purse to go with them when Colter and Russell stood, but the former raised a placating hand.
“It’s best if you stayed here,” Colter said.
Your brows rose. “I don’t think so.”
Colter’s mouth parted, and he blinked, like he hadn’t expected you to push back quite like that; calm and matter of fact.
“Ah, well, it’s really for your safety—”
“I’m not going to sit and wait,” you said. “That’s all I’ve been doing for months. I may not be an expert tracker, or have been in the army, but I do know my brother. And we are going to find him.”
Behind you, Dory was giving Colter a warning shake of her head. She knew just how stubborn you could be. Meanwhile, Russell came up on your other side with a smile.
“What’s the harm in her coming along to the museum?” he said, sliding his brother a teasing look. “Unless the T. rex wakes up all the mummies, Ben Stiller style.”
You wanted to point out that that wasn’t exactly the plot of Night at the Museum, but you held it in with a smile. You gave Colter an expectant look.
He sighed at Russell’s antics, but he turned to you with a nod.
“Okay, let’s go,” he said.
“I’ll head home then,” said Dory. “Call me if you need anything.”
You gave her a hug after she gathered up her purse.
“Thank you,” you whispered.
“It’s going to be okay,” she said, rubbing your back. “Colter’s the best.”
“All right, fine. And what am I? Chopped liver?” Russell remarked, gesturing wide with his hands. You all filtered out of your house, and you locked the door behind you.
“Oh, you’re special, all right,” Dory quipped back, but she gave her eldest brother a warm hug as well, then patted Colter on the arm before she left.
Russell shot Colter a playful smirk. “I got the hug.”
Colter rolled his eyes and pointed over to his big pickup truck.
“Just get in the car, please.”
You had to smile at all their sibling teasing. It reminded you of how you and Charlie used to cut up, when things were good. On your way down the driveway, you hesitated by the Chevy Chevelle parked next to your own car. She was still black and sleek and beautiful.
You happened to glance up, and there was Russell, getting into his brother’s pickup. He winked at you across the driveway. You turned your face to hide your smile (and your blush) as you climbed into your car.
Colter noted the exchange when he buckled up into the driver’s seat. He watched Russell do the same on the passenger side, all while wearing a certain smile on his face. When he noticed how Colter was looking at him, his brows raised.
“What?” said Russell.
“What was that?” Colter asked.
“Nothing.”
“Yeah, right,” Colter chuckled. He began to pull the car out of the driveway after you in your car, so he could follow you. “What, do you two have a thing or something? Is that why she called you before me?”
Russell shrugged, but his smile was telling. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Mhmm. Convincing,” Colter said, but his lips tugged upward as well. His good humor diminished though, when he considered the last time he saw his brother. “How’s the arm?”
Russell gave a thumbs up with his left arm—the one that previously had a bullet run through it. It was still healing, even now.
“It’s good,” he said.
“Did you see a doctor?”
“Sure did.”
Riiiight. Another thing Colter wasn’t sure was the truth, but he’d give Russell that one.
“And that unfinished business?” Colter asked.
Russell’s smile faded, but he nodded. “Finished.”
After a moment, Colter nodded as well.
“Okay,” he said.
Something occured to him then. He paused, and he reached into his pocket. He held up a small, closed pocketknife with a wooden handle, and he gave it back to Russell. It had the man's name carved on the side.
Russell's smile returned as he flipped the old keepsake through his fingers.
"Thanks for keeping it safe for me," he said.
Colter smiled back. "Thanks for trusting me with it."
Colter parked next to you at the museum. It was closed, but the security guard, Jimmy, did know your brother.
“I haven’t seen Charlie since he quit last week,” Jimmy claimed.
“He quit?” you said. “They told me he just never came back.”
“Yeah, well, same thing,” he said.
The front doors of the museum opened, and out came Dr. Feinman, your former boss, and the Head Manager. You left Jimmy’s questioning up to Russell and Colter with a meaningful look, and you went to intercept Feinman.
“Hi, sir, how’re you doing?” you asked. Your name fell from his lips in surprise.
“My dear, it’s good to see you, but why are you here after hours?” he asked, his British accent lilting.
“I’m trying to find Charlie. He’s been missing, well, officially for about a week,” you said. “I was actually surprised to see you here so late.”
The man cleared his throat. He smoothed a hand over his tie and suit jacket.
“Yes, well, we could’ve used Charlie’s help. We’ve had to double our security efforts,” he said. “We’re currently dealing with a sensitive issue, so the museum will be closed until it is resolved.”
“You’re doubling your security efforts… Was something stolen?” you asked.
Feinman clearly didn’t want to tell you this, but you knew you’d hit the nail on the head by the look on his face.
“Please, keep that information to yourself,” he said.
“What was stolen?” you asked in concern.
“I’m afraid I cannot disclose that information. Not even for you, dear,” he said. “I do hope you find your brother though.”
“Thank you. I appreciate that, and as a matter of fact,” you began, but Feinman waved an apologetic hand.
“I’m sorry, I’m afraid I’m in a terrible rush just now. But call my office tomorrow and Brenda will help you with whatever you may need,” he said. “Good evening.”
“Wait, Dr. Feinman,” you tried, but he was already breezing past you and heading toward his Mercedes in the parking lot.
Meanwhile, Colter and Russell weren’t having much better luck with Jimmy.
“Look, I really don’t know where Charlie is,” he said. “Haven’t seen or heard from him since he took off.”
“He said you connected him with someone who could give him some work on the sly,” Russell said, leveling a hand at the man’s chest. “Who did you connect him with, and what kind of work are we talking?”
Jimmy blew out a breath, like this was really inconveniencing his day. (Or night, at this point.)
“What, you’ve got somewhere to be?” Colter said. “You’re getting paid to stand right here, and we have no problem sharing your shift all night. You might as well just tell us what we want to know.”
Jimmy rubbed the back of his neck in annoyance.
“All right,” he snapped. “I hooked him up with this guy I knew through a mutual acquaintance, who just needed some muscle. I guess you could call it private security.”
“A mutual acquaintance?” Colter repeated.
“What’re you, James Bond? Who did you connect him with?” Russell pressed.
Jimmy was reluctant to talk. You came back over to join them, and the security guard became even more tight-lipped.
“You guys should go. I don’t have to talk to you, and I’ve got a job to do,” he said.
When he tried to continue his patrol around the museum, you stepped deliberately in his way. You didn’t have the patience for this, and you would no longer be a doormat, letting the Goldsteins and the Feinmans of this world push past you.
“Look, Jimmy, if you don’t give us something we can go on to find my brother, you know where I’m going to go?” you asked. But you spoke before he could respond. “To the police. And your name is the only one I have to give them. Now, if you don’t want that to be you, then give me a different name.”
Jimmy looked down at you, and then over at your intimidating shadows, Russell and Colter. Jimmy sighed.
“Eddie,” he gave, finally.
Russell raised his hands, as if to say, Is that it?
“What, Eddie Vedder? Eddie who? Come on,” Russell said.
“Eddie Mendez,” Jimmy replied in a lowered voice. “I don’t know where he lives. I don’t have his number. And that 'mutual acquaintance' is doing some time in lockup. But Eddie hangs out at a bar called Howley’s.”
You and Russell shared a meaningful look at that. You turned back to Jimmy.
“Okay. What was stolen here at the museum?” you said. “That’s why it’s been closed, right?”
“I don’t know,” Jimmy said. “I wasn’t on shift, and Dr. Feinman keeps a tight lid on that kind of thing.”
“We’ll need to get into his office then,” Colter said.
You blinked wider at Colter. Wait, was he really suggesting you guys break into the museum?
Jimmy pointed to the black device attached to the ceiling above them.
“See the cameras?” he said. “That's not happening on my dime.”
Colter looked up, and he saw the cameras strategically installed across the front of the museum.
“Then take us where the cameras don’t see,” he said.
You, Colter, and Russell were able to break into the museum via a storage unit door, thanks to Jimmy’s texted instructions. You couldn’t believe you were actually doing this, but it was for Charlie, you reminded yourself.
You remembered where to find Feinman’s office. You paid for a lot of your undergrad expenses, namely your books and tuition, by working full-time as an office assistant here, and the occasional tour guide.
You led them to the room where the inventory records were kept. Colter gave you his gloves so you didn’t leave prints, and you were able to pinpoint what was labelled as missing from the latest shipment.
“Oh great,” you muttered.
“What was taken?” Colter asked.
“A collection of Native American weapons. Dated almost eight hundred years old,” you said, shaking your head. “The collection is valued at $1.5 million dollars.”
Russell and Colter shared a look.
“That’s some big motive,” Russell said.
“When did they go missing?” Colter asked.
“Almost two weeks ago,” you said. Your brows furrowed the more you read, as you realized something. “Just a few days before Charlie left the museum…”
The timing wasn’t lost on anyone. But if Charlie was a suspect, Feinman hadn’t let on to that at all. You checked the exact date the artifacts went missing again: a Tuesday night. Charlie didn’t typically work on Mondays or Tuesdays, you realized. And he’d left after the artifacts went missing. So maybe they hadn’t thought to question him yet. One small blessing.
You sighed. With that information gathered, the three of you put back everything you uncovered and left the building the same way you came in. Jimmy was nowhere in sight, probably patrolling the other end of the museum on purpose.
When you all made it back to the parking lot, you turned to Colter and Russell.
“Okay, what’s next?” you asked. “Howley’s right? To find Eddie.”
“Actually, I think it’s best Russell and I take it from here,” Colter said. “We don’t know what kind of character Eddie Mendez is, but from how reluctant Jimmy was to tell us, it doesn’t sound good.”
You opened your mouth to argue, but Russell drew closer and touched your arm. You could see in his face that he agreed with his brother, even though he hadn’t said anything yet.
“Look, you’ve been a huge help,” he said. “But let us work on this, okay? We’ll call you when we find something.”
Still, your lips pursed. “Russell, he’s my brother.”
“I know. Punching out drunks is one thing, but this might be a little different,” he said, grasping your arms gently. “Will you give me some peace of mind, knowing you’re home safe?”
He brushed one of his thumbs along your skin. Already you had goosebumps. From the cold chill on the air, or from him, you weren’t sure. But that simple touch, along with his earnest, imploring gaze broke you down.
“All right. I get it. I’m not the Special Ops guy,” you said. “But call me afterward so I know how it went.”
“Okay, will do,” Russell agreed. He let you go so you could go to your car. You shot the brothers one last look before you climbed in and peeled out of the parking lot.
Russell expelled a sigh of relief. He got into the passenger side of his brother’s pickup while Colter started it up.
Thanks to the late hour, and how little traffic there was on the road, it didn’t take you long to get home.
You’d debated whether you should just go to Howley’s anyway, but you didn’t want to get in the way, or make Russell worry for that matter. You smiled, despite yourself.
His touch had tingled across your arms, and whenever he absently laid a hand on the small of your back, supportive or guiding.
Thinking about him just made your heart ache. Because after this was over, he’d be gone again—on a new mysterious job, perhaps on the other side of the world.
You’d been regretting how you left things with him at the bar for months, but now you were glad you hadn’t gone any further with him that night. Your heart was too easily ensnared, it seemed, and Russell didn’t seem to be a “strings attached” kind of guy.
When you parked in front of your house, you let out a tense breath. Russell and Colter would find Charlie. You believed in them. You just hoped your brother was all right, wherever he was.
You pulled your cell out of your purse to call Dory as you headed for the front door. You wanted to give her an update and let her know that you were back at home.
The call began to ring just as you slipped your key into the lock. Unfortunately, you never got a chance to open it.
A strong pair of arms wrapped around you from behind and yanked you back, and a firm hand over your mouth smothered your scream.
AN: 🫣 *Whispers* Sorryyy. But hey! What did you think of the reader's reunion with Russell, as well as the little Shaw Family Reunion? Plus, we got a bit of the reader working with Russell and Colter on the case.
Now, the real timer starts...
Next Time:
You were led into what sounded like a warehouse. You couldn’t know for sure with this musty bag over your head and your wrists bound together with zip ties, but you clenched your teeth and tried to stop sniffling. Your fear made your heart pump fast and loud in your ears.
Voices echoed around you, arguing, yelling about shipments. You were shoved hard to the ground, and you gasped, instinctively throwing your hands out when your knees hit the hard cement.
“No…”
That voice was all too familiar.
▶️ Keep Reading: PART 3
Series Masterlist
Ko-Fi Me ☕
Russell Shaw Masterlist
Main Masterlist
Russell S. Tag List:
@kazsrm67 @letheatheodore @agothwithheavysetmakeup @jacklesbrainworms @foxyjwls007
@wincastifer @ades106 @iamsapphine @simpforbuckyb @roseblue373
@brianochka @branj19 @hazel-eye-coffee-shop-girl-blog @globetrotter28 @charmed-asylum
@waywardxwords @deanwinchestersgirl87 @this-is-me19 @rachiem4-blog @sweettimelady
@leigh70 @clinicallydepresso @xiphoidbones @skoveu @nyotamalfoy
@kmc1989 @jackles010378 @emily-winchester @waynes-multiverse @jessjad
@my-stories-vault @deans-spinster-witch @syrma-sensei @stellasfictionalworld @ultimatecin73
@jesllianaquilesrolonsworld @pieandmonsters @lhymer1995 @taehyungxjungkookistaekook @lovelystoriesaj
@nicksalchemy1 @spnwoman @onlyangel-444 @sexyvixen7 @illicithallways
@wolkenprinzessin007 @alwaystiredandconfused @carpenterswife @cheynovak @grilledcheeseandtomato
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Sinsmas came out, and I bawled. here's me yapping about it.
-Blitz put horses EVERYWHERE to try and make Stolas happy
-Stolas was asking for his antidepressants. keep in mind he goes this whole episode, which takes place over the course of a month, completely unmedicated.
-Blitz asking what he eats :(. Then Stolas's rich ass.
-Stella fucking GRAB'S VIAS PHONE. GOD I WANT TO KILL THAT BITCH. THEY SIT THEIR AND LAUGH ABOUT HIM WANTING TO TALK TO HIS DAUGHTER IT MAKES ME SO. FUCKING. ANGRY.
-Imps still hate Stolas. Also bro has NO life skills whatsoever
-She straight up spits in his coffee, no remorse. Queen honestly.
-New fit!! this is so much better than that dumbass romper
-Blitz catching rats for him :((
-"No, this is how I act when I don't have money! :D"
-I absolutely adore the concept of sinsmas btw. Also, notice how both Moxxie and Blitz act on wrath, rather than greed (where they were both raised). Interesting lil detail
-Of course Blitz would set the apartment on fire
-Loona acting like me fr
-Millie and Moxxie fighting heheheee
-He's so concerned lmaooo??
-Whiteboard! My fave is the 'days since moxie sang' counter.
-Loona's opened up so much I love her QmQ
-"I'm poor now!" I love you Stolas but holy shit you privileged ass baby.. At least yall can afford to feed everyone in your house
-God Blitz is so in love
-Stolas is GOING THROUGH IT with these parallels
-Blitz trying to defend cheating 💀💀
-Homophobic cunt
-Mammon tree topper
-They're STILL laughing about Stolas trying to call Via. Have they kept her phone from her this whole time?
-She didn't hear them say he'd been trying to call. She took her earbuds out AFTERWARDS. As far as Via knows, he only called once.
-Stolas was the one who got her the guitar
-Via's song goes so hard, but what happened to her accent??
-The parallels in Via's song and the one Stolas sang to her in ep 2 make me wanna cry
-Btw Via is COMPLETELY justified in how she feels, and her decision to not forgive Stolas.
-"I'll just get older and you'll only know my name" Holy fuck that line goes hard
-I THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA ATTEMPT.
-"Well here's an idea, You could shut the fuck up!"
-Me I fear
-She sits down with stolas's diary I can't
-I thought the bit of her throwing up as weird as hell. But, foreshadowinggg
-What if this was my 13th reason.
-"Didn't make me wet AT ALL"
-The scream as she flies out the window is delightful
-Blitz immediately knows stolas went to look for Via
-GET HIS ASS
-"Get your icy hands off my bottom, bitch!"
-Dude what the hell did he say?!
-GET. HIS. ASS!!
-"fuck yes! :D"
-Loona and Moxxie working together :(((
-This action scene is so fucking cool
-"High five!!" DUMBASS?!
-Im gonna kms they're so cute
-VIA!
-She doesn't hug her father back.
-She thought him needing the antidepressants was her fault I'm actually gonna do it this time.
-Although Via won't talk to Stolas, she still saved him. She loves her dad, but she's rightfully angry. It'll take time to rebuild that trust.
-FUCK.
-Blitz relaxes. Stolas doesn't.
-God what a cutie
-MOXXIES FACE HSDHSJHDJSIJ
-I knew immediately in the bathroom scene what was up with Millie
-Im really excited to see the pregnant millie plotline actually. Judging by her reaction, she's not sure if she wants to keep it.
-STOLAS'S SOFT LITTLE LAUGH AUGH IM CRYING
-He doesn't hug Blitz back.
-Xmas song at the end goes hard.
Overall, this episode was AMAZING. The writing was great, the emotional moments hit hard, the animation was great as usual, and the pacing was good, if not a bit clunky. What a great end to the season.
I think i'll go call my dad.
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Okay as fucked up as this is gonna sound I need a scenerio where the 118 fail to save a child from a burning building, because it would royally fuck them all up and it would be, yes deverstating, but also really super interesting
Like first off you have Bobby, who, as we know, lost his own children to a fire. So just imagine how triggering it would be for him. Like I'd actually cry if I had to see him deal with not being able to save a child from a building fire again. But I'm a masochist, so I'd wanna see him fully spiral, like Athena has to smack the whisky bottle out of his hand to stop him relapsing kinda spiral
Then there's Chimney who hasn't actually been a father that long, like Jee-Yun is still really young, and now him and Maddie have got another kid on the way too. Like out of all the 118 he's the only one who hasn't lost a child and I think it would really mess up his perception of his own abilities to keep his kids safe. He also lost Kevin (and almost Albert) to fire so i think he would become extremely paranoid that like the universe is trying to tell him something.
Hen is difficult because I'm basing this off of the child dying in the fire and not for medical reasons (which i think would fuck her up more, like if the kid died because she couldn't administer care fast enough or something). But i think it would make sense if Hen was helping the parents of the kid when they recieve the news and I think having to keep treating them while their life is collapsing in on itself would destroy her just as much, and she'd blame herself for not being able to help more.
I think Eddie would completely shut down. Obviously this kid would remind him of Chris and if this is set while Chris is still in texas then Eddie isn't even able to go home and check that Chris is alright which would terrify him. But also on the way back to the station i think Eddie would be the only one not actively sobbing, like he'd be crying but in the sort of dissociative, not even realises hes crying, sort of way. I don't think he'd break down until he was at home by himself, looking around at his empty house, wishing he could just give his son a hug.
Then there's Buck. Buck would be inconsolable. I'm imaging it being him that found the kid but couldn't get to them in time (or something). He would never be able to forgive himself for not saving that child. The others would tell him it's not his fault but he just can't believe them. If only he'd done this, if only he'd don't that. It would consume him. I think he'd lose his sense of self, I love him but i wanna see him completely break.
It would have to be everyone helping each other, being there for each other. I think to begin with they'd all try to deal with it themselves but that was never going to work. Eventually they all band together be there for one another, so they can keep fighting, keep living, despite the trauma. Like they always do.
(I also think Maddie should be the one to take the call because holy shit that would be fucked up for her to deal with after everything she's been through)
#im sorry#911 angst#911#911 abc#911 show#118 firefam#bobby nash#chimney han#hen wilson#eddie diaz#evan buckley#maddie han#buddie#tw: death#tw: alcholism
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Just when I thought "I'M THE CHUPRACADUPRA" was peak animation..
We got "here's an idea- you could shut the fuck up"
Jokes aside tho, this episode had. SO much. Ramble under the cut in case anyone wants to avoid spoilers but hasn't blocked the tag for it :)
soooo You'll Be Ok was definitely foreshadowing, I'm so glad the "this song means that Stolas is going to die at the end of the season" theory was wrong but STILL. VIA'S REPRISE BROKE ME. The angry heartbroken "when you're gone I'll be okay" AJFKHSJHDJAKHAJSH
Stolas beating the shit out of Andrealphus MADE MY DAY that was fucking hilarious and 100% deserved (speaking of Andrealphus, istg the animation for him keeps getting better.. like, bouncier? More cartoonish than the other characters?)
STOLITZ KISS STOLITZ KISS STOLITZ KISS YIPPEEEEE this is what I've been praying for since all the way back in Full Moon. And the dance at the end? Absolutely adorable, I love Blitz standing on the railing to reach Stolas lmao (reminds me of an animatic I saw a while back, where he was standing on tables)
Millie is pregnant?? Are we gonna get an m&m baby??? (has anyone designed a fanchild yet bc I wanna see what y'all think they'll look like)
HELLHOUNDS HAVE FULL DEMON FORMS APPARENTLY? I thought it was only sinners (or maybe just overlords) and above? Does this mean that other lower-ranking hellborn (imps, succubi, etc) have full forms too?
I love the whole concept of Sinsmas- m&m (lovingly) fighting like heavily weaponized cats was adorable, and Loona's snack stash was 10/10. Although now I wanna know if/how the Sins themselves celebrate? I was hoping we'd see more of them in this episode, maybe even a Lucifer cameo.. but in retrospect that would have been too much, given everything else that happened in the episode.
Anyway, Stolas crying over Via felt like getting stabbed in the heart but other than that I absolutely LOVED the episode, what a way to end the season.. anyone know when season 3 starts?
#helluva boss#helluva boss spoilers#helluva boss season 2#sinsmas#mission: chupacabras#stolas#stolitz#fuck andrealphus but not in a sexy way dot complainer dot com dot org dot gov#/ref
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“My darling, I did not train my monster to protect you because I thought you could not live without me. I trained that monster because I cannot live without you”
well what if I kill myself mhm? what if laszlo’s love for Nadja is what kills me? Destroys me?
#im dead#I died dead#shit I love them so fucking much I wanna cry#he’s so passionate about his wife#like man he loves her to bits#they’re soulmates#excuse me I’m gonna cry#wwdits#what we do in the shadows#nadja of antipaxos#laszlo cravensworth#laszlo x nadja#nadja x laszlo
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ultimately!
#ELIIIIIIII YOU CANT SAY THAT ELIIIIIIIIIIII#audiof from not even emily latest video go watch literally its so fuckingfunny#dont even ask me how eli fits in hance' 5'2 dad's clothes pls ok#my art#digital art#oc art#anthro art#not even gonna lie i thfought i wasnt gonan finish this but we pulled thru#if quality gets murdered i will cry#swhy are all my favorite drawings baby sugar and eliyah interacting#i like themb#i was gonna add fucking comical cartoon slipping noises when her antler popped off but imovie literalsly. it didnt work it wpuldnt let me#vid too biggy#also noahs ark esque announcement for ppl thta read my evil ramble tags i miiight nuke sanguinary univers bc i love my ocs too much to like#like i dont wanna marry my first idea and i love them too much to box them into a project I PERSONALLY FEEL LIKE I FUMBLED LIKE#OK LITERALLY NO INSULT WHATSOEVER TO ANYONE WHO MIGHT LIKE IT BUT IT WAS my firsy ever comic and i feeeeel like i can do betteeerrr a#meowweooww#like if it was small things i wanted to change i could juts panel edit but its like. major things like when i started chapter 1 i had#LITERALLY NO PLAN JUST MY nerdy vampire obsession. which is still present. giggle h#breaking news boygirl learns that they arent rlly proudof the writing in comic thye started when they were a teenager#ALSO I LITERALLY HAVE LORE THAT IVE. BEEN MAKING THAT CONTRADICTS THINGS (? PROBABLY) SO ok trust me ok just trust m#also yes this is what i’ve been working on except that animatsuon i mentioned with eli crying because priorities or someth#not except wtf i mean insyead or some other shit#also i just looked at this wall of text on mobile and like ew shut up little gay
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(Clips from ep5, ep9, and ep16. Video length 4 minutes 4 seconds)
Originally was gonna just clip ep16 and the start of 5 but then I remembered how they were all being very sweet in their own ways when, you know. Their friendship makes me ill
#frost is like 'i gotta comfort my friend. people say nice words and hug and shit right?'#kremy is just like 'ive got to make a plan about this. solution finding mode activated'#and Gideon is like 'no plans im killing'#i can relate to all of those#in fact my way of trying to comfort people is basically in that order#you want tea??? do you want nice words??? can i help you???? can i kill for you????#gricko is really the heart of the group its so upsetting when he's sad and the rest of them are like. oh no#i love that guy so fucking much#video#once upon a witchlight#ouaw#ouaw spoilers#once upon a witchlight spoilers#gricko grimgrin#morning frost#gideon coal#kremy lecroux#hootsie grimgrin#in spirit#ep 9 clips werent tragic *sounding* but frost saying 'that really is quite heartbreaking' is so true#the clips at the ending make me wanna cry
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Prohibitedwish Cottagecore au
Because I'm self-indulgent like that XP
I just want my bois to be happy and carefree
Headcanon time!!!
Prismo
Scarab's neighbour
has been living in the outskirt his whole life and never went anywhere before
is curious about the outside world
his inherited his garden from his deceased friend Jake
his hat is gifted by Jake, he wears it all the time
after knowing some of Scarabs favourite fruits and veggies, he starts planting them and gifting them to him
it's rare but he sometimes gift Scarab bouquets after they are a thing
he's definitely a flower meaning guy
it took a long time for him to try planting on his friend's garden
teaches Scarab one or two things about gardening since he studies it
enjoys tea time with Scarab
secretly draws/paints
lot's of sketches and painting of Scarab in his garage
the first to confess (drunken confession)
likes to exchange books with Scarab, is intrigue of Scarab's taste in genres
adores Scarab's cooking and baking
keeps all of the sticky notes by Scarab
sunshine energy
Scarab
Prismo's neighbour
starts living outskirt for his botanic/herbology studies
likes the serenity here
has strict parents
grew up to be academic-minded because of parents
parents weren't too keen on his choice of studies so like every Asian child he has to whip up a powerpoint slideshow for them
grew up watching botanic channels, his favourite one is apparently starred by Prismo's grandpa
teaches Prismo new or better ways to tend his garden
puts sticky notes for Prismo after finding out he can't remember shit
is embarassed of receiving gifts from Prismo because he doesn't know what to gift back
Prismo's drinking buddy
helps Prismo with his garden when free
because of his upbringing of not showing vulnerability, he tends to be quite tsun and hides his true feelings xshksxh
resting bitch face
likes to talk to Prismo about different teas every tea time with him
secretly crochets
has one or two crocheted Prismo plushies
first to initiate kiss
That's about it, they probably go on foraging trips and picnics together, I just really like the idea but don't see it much for them so I gotta take actions by my own and make it myself
I would really really appreciate it if anyone wanna write fanfic about them please please please I can't do them justice aaaaaa-
#my art#digital art#i love them so much i wanna cry#fionna and cake#human scarab#scarab#scarab the god auditor#prismo#prismo the wishmaster#prohibited wish#prohibitedwish#scarab x prismo#prismo x scarab#cottagecore au#I always wanted this#fuck my digital art skills are shit compared to traditional art#lemme die
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.
#vent#why cant i get used to things#like why am i crying this isnt something not normal you do this all the time#i dont want to#i feel like a fucking kid wtf why am i crying#get over urself nothings gonna work out#i dont get it when do stuff stop hurting??? because i hate this so much#i hate everything i hate my life rn i really really truly wish i was dead now#i wish i was braver because then i could be#but im not. and i hate it#everythings just shit always and i dont understand why people are just ok with it. cant life be better maybe? i would like it then#and i cant so anything to fix any of my problems and idk what to do#i really dont wanna do any of these things#i hope i die i feel bad about it but i kinda really do hope so… even if its rude to my family i feel so bad about it i love them#but i fucking hate this
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in my perfect world everyone makes so many lesbian muses the men then have to deal with the exact same behavior when every single post ever written isn’t about dick.
#CLAWS RETRACTED.#[real talk: I’m a lesbian transmasc little enby guy. but my gender? is lesbian. it’s how I explain it. my attraction to women is a part of#my innate gender. that’s just how it is and the two things inform one another. heteronormativity is still so alive and now everyone can put#it under progressive little labels where the character is bisexual but everything that’s focused on for miles is the hetcoded shit. it’s a#cool little thing people do now. it went from when I was a kid and ‘there’s no such thing as bi you’re just confused’ to ‘everyone is bi#because it gives me points but I will never meaningfully observe the queer aspect of that identity and it can make me seem comfortable with#queer identities’. it’s lip service so much of the time. and I never ever ever say you’re only valid if you write bi characters in a#queercoded relationship. bisexuality is forever valid always even if you’ve NEVER been in a queer relationship. but this is writing and#real bisexual people (I’m not even bi I’m literally a lesbian) have experiences irl that make them feel shitty#when they see them boiled down to shallow. a lot in the same way I get upset when I see lesbian relationships brushed off or ignored in#spite of my own excitement toward the ship. MY POINT IS that lesbians are completely ignored by this point and I can say this both irl and#on here because when you live a life that excludes men from your romantic space you’re basically illegal. it drives me fucking insane. the#way anyone can make a fucking whitebread ass man on this site and their inbox will be exploding but you make a lesbian and you have to pad#quietly around because from jump you’re already worried about how people will perceive you and you KNOW they won’t be immediately welcoming.#this is an irl thing in such a big way and I’m a NEW YORKER. but the fact that this exists in the rpc? truly I miss when we just wrote and#enjoyed things and this wasn’t a cesspit of discourse instead of an actual creative community. like. I went to college to study boring#theses that couldn’t keep my attention. I slogged through litcrit theory. do I love it? yes. but some of yall really just wanna be on#debatebro YouTube and not in the actual rpc. it’s wild. everyone’s a philosopher but no one wants to meaningfully engage. and if they do#they want to in either bad faith or basically hardheaded ignorance about an issue. someone’s 2 seconds from rping destiny.#swear to fucking god if I see one person make an asm.ngold joke I will cry.]
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im exploding into a million pieces i found a reddit thread about butches in video games (specifically looking for them) in hopes that there was some kind of lesser known dream daddy-esque butch dating sim or SOMETHING cute like that and guys the fucking crumbs we have to live on you're actually killing me. im withering away why are there no kissable butches in video games im going to throw up and kill everyone. nobody wants a butch dating sim apparently. im gonna go weep in the fetal position
#everybody ignore this it's so stupid but#it's like heres a stard.ew valley mod where you can make leah butch and um idk starf.ield bg characters#and a baldgate3 character. IM CRYING WHERE ARE THE BUTCHES#'why is this making me emotional' (<- very understandable why it would make me emotional)#howling into the night sky ripping ny shirt in twain transforming into a big hairy beast bc i love butches sm#GUHHHHHHHHHH CMONNNNN#i just wanna see people's cute drawings of dykes ok. where is our version of bara#where is it please#im begginbg the universe generally#i need a hero (the song) is emanating from my pores rn. where are they we deserve so much better than this#gahhhh it's all overly palatable softgirl yuri fuckk. where are my big sweaty hairy braless deep voiced dykes im going to kill someone#when is it my turn to be happy wuagghhh#not to say i dislike softgirl yuri but i do not want to kiss them!! sorry but that is a big motivator for this#is wanting a 2d boyfriend (/dyke) because everyone else gets to have one :((#and also like. wanting to see dykes reflective of irl dykes rather than yuri for representation purposes that matter to me personally#and the gender euphoria that can often come from that but also FUCKK#nguhhhhhh oughhhhhh ahhhhhhhhgh. im such a fucking faggot im sick of this#a large chunk of the sapphic population is just completely not represented it's like they only exist in my mind#i never seen them around me either this shit sucks fuck my stupid baka life. wehehhh#exploding into a million pieces#im never expressing any kind of gay yearning again after this im done#is it too much to ask that i see people like me out there?? in many ways but tonight specifically in a butch way#ppl when they even think for a moment of making lesbian media where the dykes aren't sifted through straight attractiveness filters: 😱#again a lesbian dating dim w femmes would rule as well but it's all high schoolers and vaguely anime-hot women#and thats not good enough. it's like if they give a girl a big nose they'll fucking die immediately#maybe the real reason i consume so much homoerotic buff guy media is because SOMETIMES ppl draw them as butches#(<- not the reason but maybe loosely vaguely part of the reason)#anyway this was inspired by me watching ppl react to like. a popular pretty boy dating sim#and trying to figure out some equivalent experience for me but i can't bc none of it is made for me#killing everyone and then killing them again. hatred
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Minor thing that really irks me is when people treat the femc route in p3 portable as like the lesser story or like it’s a fanfic where nothing that happens in it is the “true” canon like. Bitch. The femc and everything that happens in her version of the story is just as canon as the male protagonist and everything that happens in his story. And there’s literally been so many fucking versions of p3 at this point like the base game, fes, portable, the movies, stage plays, reload, as well as spinoffs and manga and they all do things differently. I don’t see anyone acting like the base game is more canon than, say, reload so why do they do this with portable? Why can’t the (infinitely superior) version with the female protagonist just be respected for five fucking minutes goddamn
#persona#persona 3#kotone shiomi#its the misogyny yay#but god i am so tired of her game being treated as not actually canon like it literally is#theres multiple canons dipshit there is no true version of this game#and also people saying she doesnt fit the theme or some shit like. she literally does??? and honestly she does it better#like you can really feel the love she brings to the group and how she gives everything life and helps everyone#but also just how it all comes with pain she smiles and befriends everyone but shes always been so deeply alone and she doesnt want anyone#to feel the pain shes felt and so she carries all those burdens on her own and when everyone goes to reach out for her#its too late far too late shed sacrifice herself over and over for these people and theyll never once see her cry#she also you know. actually has good social links and gets to know everyone not just people she wants fuck#so you get to see just infinitely better versions of every character with her she really does bring out the best in them#and another thing in particular with the disrespect of her story is the way shinji living is treated again just like#some kinda fanfic au by someone who didnt wanna cope with their blorbo dying like ughh#shinji surviving is just as canon as him dying there is an entire canon where he gets a happy ending and it is once again#much better than versions where he dies like ive. exhausted myself with explaining it but its just better#so yeah basically out of spite i like acting like kotones story is actually the one true canon#and when people mention stuff that isnt in her story im like ‘huh? what? that didnt happen’#cuz whos gonna stop me
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oh ok
#succession#tomgreg#OH MY GOD THE SCENE IS THIS CLOSE AFTER?!?? i thought i had some time !!! i jqqqqqqq#man. man. mn!!!!aman!!!!man!!!!!!!!!!!!!! man.#matt johnson you would love tomgreg#what the fuck is this scene though i want to die i PHYSICally want to di e Eeeeeeeeeee#he........i .........fkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkmmmmmmmmmmmm#ok. okok. ok . novel tags ok i can think through my absolute fucking grief. ok so basically.#tom giving greg advice about prison. and then greg like basically begs to have tom take the rap for him. but not directly.#he can never say things directly. but tom translates. and it doesn't take him long to say fine. load me up. you piece of shit.#but he doesn't even mean the latter statement he's too sad. and he won't fight. the fight is all gone out of him.#so much for greg being expendable though huh?#look me in the eyes and tell me tom isn't in love with greg at least a little. yall telling me you'd take the rap for someone and go to jail#for them if you didn't love them? ok bestie you do you#i kind of like as well the comparison of the conversation between them and him and shiv like. it's very similar in that him and greg are#saying sentences that are parts of different conversations like him and shiv's convo ALTHOUGH it is still related bc it's to do with jail#she wouldn't even talk about that subject at all. and then it correlates to the whole. nero and sporus thing right. and the dressing up/ring#ALSO THE FACT HE DIDNT WANNA SLEEP WITH HER AND HES OUT LATE AT A DINER WITH GREG I GET IT G IS HIS MISTRESS#but anyway.#and the WAYYYYYYY greg's voice breaks and the way he looks at tom with pleading eyes and it looks like he's about to cry#that's what does it for tom i think. that's what breaks him. he can't bear the thought of greg suffering for months.#which makes me believe that that is why he was so sad earlier when greg was asking for advice. he doesn't like greg to suffer#by other hands of course. if it's by his hands that's another matter BUT THATS ANOTHER CAN OF WORMS#LIKE I KNOW ITS KIND OF AN ASSHOLE MOVE OF GREG BUT AT THE SAME TIME HES LIKE. idk early 20s. 26ish latest???#and i would be fucking terrified i'm 30 and i still don't know what the fuck is going on i don't know how i am still alive so i get it.#and if you have someone who has been taking care of you and has in the past flexed their power and money to give you food and parties#and move you up in a company and give you opportunities you most likely would never get. you kinda. latch. and fall into a pattern.#you assume he has a way out for you#has help. i mean greg probably assumed he wouldn't say yes in the first place so he kinda Has to be an asshole for any chance at all tbh.#he even said quid pro quo. but tom didn't even want anything in return. i mean idk what greg could even give him [lol] but still.
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[|87
#been burdening my friends and partner too much with bitching about life but talking abt it makes me feel better so. i’m here.#new job is awful. but in a weird way.#i’m learning things and love my coworkers and the location and clients and work itself#but my boss is. my god.#it’s a little local place owned by one woman operated from inside her extra home on her property#she runs everything#and she is nice but she is??? loud ig. abusively loud#she screams and cusses and berates and belittles everyone and like#they all think it’s silly. it’s just her personality. they laugh or shrug it off. it’s just how she is. but i can’t do it#every day i tear up or cry on the way home cus she raises her voice at me or i hear her cussing and screaming in the back about like#me fucking up. over silly things. like i took a message for her but didnt say it was urgent.#then i hear her in the back HOW COULD SHE FUCK UP LIKE THIS SHE SHOULD KNOW THIS SHIT THIS IS SUCH SIMPLE SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH HER#and i just cant handle it man!!!#and she is so nice and supportive and texts me almost every night to ask how i am and if i’m okay#and like fuck dude i guess?????? but im also!!!!! not!!!!!!!!#my partner and mom both said i should quit and i think im. gonna.#the other place that wanted me is still hiring. i’m gonna talk to them monday and see if i can take that job still#but fuck dude. i dont wanna tell my boss im leaving. i dont think she’ll blow up but if she does?????#idk#i just hate that things aren’t getting better. i dunno. i just wanna cry and sleep all day#hopefully i get the other job and my boss understands. we’ll see.#thanks for reading
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happiness
5 (+1) times Gon makes sure to carry Killua.
♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡
Gon shifts him slightly, and Killua looks up with teary-filled eyes, hiccuping when Gon presses his forehead to his own.
“Don’t worry! We’ll see each other again! I’ll always come back and save you, okay?”
Gon’s lips meet his own, and Killua drowns in that happiness and sorrow.
#hxh#hunter x Hunter#Gonkillu#gon x killua#gon#killua#killua hunter x hunter#gon freecss#;windy’s stuff#ITS TIME TO DRINK GON CARRYING KI JUICE 😤😤😤😤#GON CARRYING KI MY ONE TRUE LOVE 🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#KI ALWAYS LIKES GON CARRYING HIM 🥺🤲🤧#HE JUST DESERVES TO BE HAPPY AND SAFE AND WARM 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🤧🤧🤧🤧🤲🤲🤲🤲🤲#THATS MY BABEY#Ki BEING SO HAPPY SILVA TALKED TO HIM WHEN SILVA IS A PIECE OF SHIT MAKES ME WANNA CRY#GON IS KIS KNIGHT 🤧😤😤😤😤😤#KIS TRAMUA IS IGNORED WAY TOOOO MUCH IN THE SHOW/MANGA AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE THEM FOR NOT HAVING GON CARRY KI WHEN HE WAS INJURED LIKE T#AND I NEEDED TO FIX THAT MY HEART HURT SO MUCH I WAS TEARING UP WRITING FUCK SO I NEEDED SOME FLUFF TO SOOTHE MY SOUL#AHHNNNNNNN KI IS SO CUTEEEEE AND TINY KITTEN 🤧🤧🤧🤧😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#I THREW A TINY BIT OF KITE CARRYING KI IN THERE 🤧😤🥺 NEED A WHOLE FIC OF EVERYONE CARRYING KI#KIS THE CUTEST SLEEP KITTEN EVER HHHHHNNNNNNN#AND THEN I WAS ONCE MORE SOBBING TBH ABOUT TO CRY#I AM NEVER WRITING A FIVE ONE EVER AGAIN ITS EMOTIONAL WHIPLASH ON MEEEE OMGGGG#BUT HAPPY ENDING MY HEARTTTTT KI DESERVES THE WORLD 🤧🥺🙏🙏🙏😭😤#IM SO HAPPY IM GONNA CRY 🤧🤧🥺🥺🥺🤲🤲🤲 MY HEART COULD NOT TAKE WHILE I WAS WRITING THIS THEY ARE NOW MARRIED 🤧🥺🙏
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welcome to another episode of I hate my neighbors 🫠
#rant.txt#it’s bad enough they somehow have 500 million fireworks and periodically fire them at random ass days of the year but from SONE REASON they#love this day so much and shoot so many giant ones and scare the living shit out of me and I’m sure any animal in the vicinity#and they hoot and holler about them like it’s fun and I’m just here trying to rest like ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️#like idc it’s a holiday they have zero consideration and ALSO it’s also like fucking dangerous????????#like these aren’t some little sparklers these are full ass giant fireworks and they’re so loud and they yell so loud#have you ever just wanted to throw a rock at someone before?#ugh I’m so annoyed bc I need to do stuff tmr and I’m not going to get a ton of sleep#I wish it rained this 4th so I could not deal with this#even then they’d still be out there tbh I wanna cry atp#like I WOULD BE THE VILLAIN HERE WHICH IS THE SAD PART#like I’d be considered the evil party pooper who isn’t being CONSIDERATE this holiday 🫠🫠🫠#they don’t stop until into the am too I’m gonna cry in bed ig
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