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#shes really gone and it hurts so much
tired-fandom-ndn · 2 years
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The reason why Claudio and Don Pedro didn't tell Benedick about what was going on before the wedding is because he would've run straight to Beatrice and snitched without a second thought and then she would've murdered Claudio in cold blood.
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can-of-slorgs · 5 months
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Final surprise boop attack for @yowassupitsred!!
Faeran would 100% be really obnoxious about Calamari, and would intentionally make others appreciate her boopings haha.
(Secret second boop attack to @starbiology in revenge to the april fools war because even though i didn't know if you had any characters, I think of her as your character by this point and I found this scenario hilarious in my mind)
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seaweedstarshine · 3 months
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Thinking about the convolution of Eleventh Doctor's expressions of love for River Song in Season 7B. He does not trust Clara. He is utterly (wrongly) convinced that he and Clara are playing a grand manipulative game together. “What are you, eh?! A trick? A trap?!!”
So naturally, the last thing he should do in this game is to clue his opponent in on something that could be used to hurt him. Something like River, so painfully near the end of their time together, whose data ghost he can always see, who “it would hurt too much” to acknowledge. He can't let Clara know of the loss which constantly floods his senses; (“You are always here to me. And I always listen, and I can always see you,” he professes, once Clara has vanished into his timestream).
And yet. River fills his every moment (irregardless of any sneaking out for dates with increasingly-young Rivers while Clara is asleep like he did while the Ponds slept, which would explain his absence when the TARDIS is hiding Clara's bedroom). Even though it's not strategic, he can’t help but tell Clara about her. The best defense he can manage is to phrase it as if River isn’t as important to him as she is. Not only is avoiding her first name in his grief; he's also completely avoiding pronouns; which seems extreme given that he's still mentioning her as often as: “Oh yeah, of course he has! Professor Song! Sorry, it's just I never realized you were a woman.”
Leave out the emotion — leave out the details — don't show the cracks in the armor — play the part — win the game.
“Well, there's no point now. We're about to die. JUST TELL ME WHO YOU ARE.”
#I mean we KNOW that the doctor immediately started pouring his hearts out to Clara as soon as NotD ended <3#Clara tells the war doctor “he's always talking about the day he did it” okay so he's always talking about it starting after the prev ep#eleventh doctor#river song#clara oswald#words by seaweed#yeah I know the implication in Name of the Doctor is that eleven is two-timing them / worried abt Clara being jealous. which. eh. maybe.#but I like this better. also both things can be true if we want them to be#eleven is in SUCH a bad way in Season 7B too he needs to be held#“I thought it would hurt too much and I was right” ever think about how Clara was there for in the deepest moments of his grief?#whether his sad victorian cloud… on the Last Day… or on the day he was finally able to say Rivers name. he thought it would hurt too much#Tia made a really insightful post recently about how eleven can’t speak rivers name when she's gone and like. god. yeah.#it also made me think about. who would he even talk to River about? if he could? after years on a cloud drowning in her present nonpresence#ever think how if HoRS had happened before Hell Bent he never could've dealt with it and coulda broke the universe for River instead#Series 9 was a continuation/escelation of eleven's (and next twelve's) “he hates endings” - endings for Amy and Rory. for River. for Clara.#he hit rock bottom. and then Clara saved him#“You said memories become stories when we forget them. Maybe some of them become Songs.”#thank you Clara <3#one episode later:#“When the wind stands fair and the night is perfect when you least expect it but always when you need it the most- there is a Song.”#bc this is NOT to undervalue the Doctor's love for Clara he has a Duty of Care she's more Breakable than him (also than river!)#but it can it really be a coincidence? bc he is talking abt river in the second one. unless Moffat is obsessed with Song imagery? I MEAN
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carlyraejepsans · 8 months
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fridging more often than not has the opposite effect on me because I'm too mad about the women in the story being done dirty to care about the supposed emotional impact of their deaths. but man. when time travel (PLLF) hits it hits.
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thottybrucewayne · 8 months
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Not a single youtube review of Eve's Bayou I've seen was able to do justice to Cisley's situation, imma have to make the damn video myself.
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genekies · 3 months
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tag vent
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#i have to move back to my hometown due to a mistake. a misunderstanding. and being too trusting in others ideas#and my boyfriend is moving an hour away as well. neither of us have been able to get a car or license yet due to money and i dont know when#we can see eachother again after we both move. since we started dating weve been sleeping in the same bed because we were/are roommates#just being gone for the weekend in my hometown is hard because i cant stand to be here but its worse because hes not in my bed every night#ive grown so used to falling alseep in his arms that i dont know what to do at night. i dont feel safe without his arms holding me#ive never felt safe where ive lived before. ive never felt safe in a relationship. ive never felt loved for who i am. that was until him.#now i feel safe in our home. i feel safe in our relationship. i feel loved for who i am. and now we have to be so far apart.#ive done long distance before but this is going to hurt so much my cat loves him she is super cautious and scared around new people but#she loved him since the start. not to mention shes my esa so that really mattered to me. he wants to move with me but it isnt happening#he got definite housing an hour away for super cheap in a town where he knows everyone and i have possible in a town where im surrounded by#people i know but am terrified of. im scared to move back here but have no choice. unless i make that terrifying choice of going with him.#the apartment he is getting is a two bedroom. id only have a studio. hes offered for me to come but im scared to move that far away again#i want to be with him but im scared to move to a whole new town with him. i know hes an amazing guy but we'd be moving away from my friends#and family. i already have to move away from all my friends if i go back to my hometown but this would be a different story.#moving to a whole new town with a guy that i only started dating 2 months ago? like yes. i lived with him previously and knew him for longer#than we dated but im still scared. i think rightfully so. but still.#but there are some pros to moving with him. hometown has no music scene and his town does and thats really important to me.#we'd also be close to his family. but farther from mine. hed be around friends and id have none no matter where i go.#idk im just rambling but i really needed to vent. i lost my best friend recently to the point of them siding with strangers almost and they#helped them break and enter into the house to intimidate me and bf and then a few days later came with cops after saying repeatedly that#they were an anarchist and acab but only when they dont use them apparently. because i guess morals/values only matter when its convenient#im so tired though but i cant sleep so i might write some cringe poetry and try to chill out before going on a late night/early morning walk#tag vent#vent in tags
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annamaryllis · 6 months
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I would like to know exactly how luke asking annabeth to run away with him went down.
#annabeth🥺#it's sad to think about how it'll be so much harder for annabeth to unpack and heal from that relationship bc he's dead#it's hard enough to come to terms with someone you love/held in high esteem hurting you so deeply#but she's also grieving him too so it's even harder to hold him accountable to herself and recognizing the good and the bad#she may struggle to not romanticize the memory of him#sorting through what about their relationship was pure and genuine and what was fueled by other stuff#both of their trauma really played into it in some of the worst ways...#but to even recognize how her trauma played into it she'd have to identify what her trauma even is and how it's affected her life#it's really complex and difficult work#and bc he's gone she'll never get to question him on stuff like what he was thinking at certain points and why#so certain things will never get the best closure#MAYBE SOMETHING WE COULD HAVE EXPLORED IN HOO RICHARD???? BUT NO#and it would have been perfect too bc she'd also be dealing with issues caused by both of her parents triggered by the MoA quest#like her mother's conditional love#and trauma from her mortal family#and her fear of spiders relates to both of these things bc it's a phobia that's passed down from her mom's actions#so she's being punished for something she's not responsible for and also being burdened with a quest simply for being her mother's daughter#and it also represents her mortal family's neglect bc they ignored her needs and all that...#AND THEN the only person she's received actually pure and good unconditional love from was snatched from her for 6 months#and the MoA quest could have been a way to confront some of these fears and wounds...so she's a little stronger by tartarus which#should bring out the best in her and the worst in percy#or maybe the best and worst in both of them#and then he can work through some stuff too down there#HoO could have been a journey for them where they're undone and then healed#bc at the end of everything they have the medicine to literally everything which is real love (which they have for each other intensely)#the rant I could go on about this...I have so many thoughts about what HoO should have been. maybe one day#annabeth chase#luke castellan#my post
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Do you know what the absolute worst thing about Jem Will and Tessa is? They really only had a few months of all three of them being together in the grand scheme of things. They all lived long lives, Jem and Tessa especially, but they only really had all three of them as themselves together for a few scant months, and those months were fraught with danger and miscommunication. They were never able to love each other fully and openly as three full people together and that is the worst thing that has ever been taken from us I think.
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coconut530 · 1 year
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🥺🥺🥺
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pa-pa-plasma · 2 days
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kind of frustrating that people took "fat does not equal unhealthy" to mean "fat is not unhealthy." sometimes being obese IS unhealthy & excess fat can cause a lot of problems. ignoring health issues isn't progressive. real "oranges kill people with depression" moment
#i have a lot to say but i think it all boils down to this:#the only reason people think this way is because they experienced body shaming & bullying for their fatness#& instead of gaining a healthy relationship with their body & its needs they went full denial mode#people that aren't fat that think this way are just going with things uncritically which is also bad btw#because when you have decades of proof that being severely overweight can be detrimental to your health#(& no i don't mean fucking. supersize me. i mean medical proof that too much fat causes diseases & early death)#but you're ignoring that because a tiktok influencer that has no medical experience said so#that is a huge lack of critical thinking skills on display & people are gonna listen to that misinformation & some might die#this isn't some light shit that can be waved off as non-harmful because it IS harmful! it is actively hurting people!!#again being unhealthy isn't a moral failing & no one deserves shit for that!! but that's the whole damn point isn't it!!!#militant fat activists are so afraid of their fatness being associated with anything negative they turn right around into ableism#they don't WANT to be considered disabled! because being disabled IS a moral failing to them. disability is abnormal#& of course being morbidly obese is totally normal. because if it wasn't then they'd need to do work & handle an ED#& that's too much to grapple with mentally so. no. they're normal. super normal. don't look at the lifespan of someone over 300lb#btw i am 100% aware that a lot of this is combined with other issues like racism sexism homo/transphobia genuine fatphobia#but also sometimes they really can't operate on someone that can't recover afterwards#like i wouldn't call the vet bigoted & cat-hating for being unable to operate on my 20yo cat#Minnie would simply not survive that. because she is so damn old#unfortunately for Minnie she can't get younger but people CAN lose weight in multiple different ways#& it may seem like the world is attacking you but you really have to train yourself out of automatic bad faith reactions#''you couldn't possibly understand!!'' yeah okay i'm sooo abled & privileged you got me there (<-sarcasm. if you couldn't tell)#just because someone hasn't experienced your EXACT thing doesn't mean they can't relate & haven't gone through similar#it's so difficult to train your brain out of that shit i get that but you really really really have to. or you will die#or at least be miserable#DISCLAIMER: i'm not talking about every person who has even a little fat on their body. fat is NEEDED#but like all things too much of a good thing can cause problems & fat is not exempt#this is about morbid obesity. not someone who's like 160lb that shit is normal#& people need to stop thinking anything over 110lb is fat#because it isn't & i think most people are getting into unhealthy territory at that low of a weight#basically i view being too fat the same as being too thin. they both cause health problems & should be taken seriously
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nerosdayinanime · 1 year
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Nezuko centric au where Tanjiro's killed during the Mugen Train mission- Giyuu becomes her caretaker and trains her Inosuke & Zenitsu instead of letting them fumble along
#this is one of my older aus but i never did anything w it lmao#enmu wasnt killed as early as he was so when akaza showed up he didnt have enough time to kill kyojuro#tanjiro probably dies trying to kill enmu. nezuko focuses on him and didnt pay attention to the upper moon showing up. just#reliving the moment she lost almost everything- now its really all gone. nothing left but shut off memories of the good and the tainted#memories of the *worst*#giyus fucked up losing yet another person he cares about and finally stops being passive-#it hurts all the same. so why not go in head first?#he trains nezuko how to use breath of water (that she adapts with her demon blood art & afterlife tanjiro/tanjuro/yoriichi guide her)#he also trains zenitsu & inosuke since they wont leave her or tanjiro's memory behind#canon events slow down at this point because kagaya's on guard about tanjiro's loss and they arent down a pillar#kyojuro also vouches for nezuko bc he saw her first hand defending people before she got... sidetracked...#maybe something about losing tanjiro finally makes the cage around her mind snap to reality and she regains her senses a bit faster#i imagine she'd have moments where she sleeps for long periods of time & sometimes is super spacy and unaware/childlike#she doesnt go on normal slayer missions all the time like she did with tanjiro though#so she has a lot more time to physically & mentally fortify#im roping genya into this somehow hes babey and im NOT leaving him out.#inosuke drags him kicking and screaming because hes also got demon-like abilities and thats good to know about right??#giyuu keeps him because 1 more the merrier 2 he can hone his demonic abilities safely w nezkuo 3 it pisses sanemi off#genyas still mostly with gyomei because hes got the physical strength and alternate weapon style which is always good but giyuu actually#keeps in touch about genya- well. tries to as much as he can with kanzaburo mixing up his letters.#maybe matsuemon takes over as nezuko's crow instead & kinda steps in for stuff relating to nezuko- ie news abt demon boy#loserboy giyuu posting#kamado nezuko#kny au#nezukos revenge au#i mention it now bc i wanna draw the little scene i have of her and giyuu chilling in their grief
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kariachi · 1 year
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Sorry-not-sorry I'm back on my normal 'Kevin and Argit were so small' bullshittery.
Because they fucking were. Kevin was twelve when Servantis tossed everybody, and Argit couldn't have been far off. They were middle school aged. 'Puberty would be starting about now if we weren't wandering the Null Void and therefor likely not eating near enough' aged.
A pair of children, with minimal education, no paperwork, no homes, no guardians. Wandering the Null Void and then the Milky Way, on their own. One a prime target for the slave trade, both prime targets for adults looking to take advantage of them (*coughcoughOttocoughcough*). With only as much security as they could provide themselves and each other. Only able to rely on themselves for the basic necessities of life.
And then this show has the audacity to try to tell me that they turned to crime due to poor morality. That they're money focused because they're just naturally greedy. That they don't trust people and look out for themselves because they're bad people that either will always be bad people or will only improve because of the power of Tennysons.
What options were there for them? What jobs are there in the Null Void? What jobs are there in the galaxy that'll hire barely-teens, if even that, with no paperwork or educations, that wouldn't ruin them as badly and pay worse than the crime they already had experience with? Will keep them fed and clothed and sheltered? When one of them already has a criminal record, for violent crimes at that? When there's nobody there to stop even the 'good' adults from taking advantage of them?
The show will sit there and tell you that Kevin's violent crimes were the result of a rough childhood, but he and Argit's non-violent ones? Totally on them, no excuse, wholly a matter of greed and not giving a shit about other people. Fucking bullshit. This is a pair of kids who had to grow up way too fast, up against an existence that saw at least one of them as easy profit, with nothing but themselves and each other, and no opportunities. They're a pair of traumatized kids who grabbed the opportunities available to them with both hands and were molded by the problems they faced.
Of course they're money-focused, unlike the Tennysons they don't and haven't had anybody making sure they had enough to get by. They've had to support themselves and live with the constant worry that something is going to go pear-shaped and they'll have nothing.
They spent years with anybody and everybody being a potential threat (even between the two of them, Argit's noting that Kevin's snapping while he worked for the Rooters was the worst he'd seen 'before or since' makes it quite clear he's seen him on and passed the edge at least as much if not more than we have), of course they're going to be slow to trust, quick to toss people aside, and unwilling to help their enemies without some sort of payout, they've been burned before.
Just- Damnit these two come from some shitty fucking situations, the effects they had on them are obvious if you bother to fucking look, and they both deserved better than the series just going "oh yeah they're assholes what do you expect they're criminals" and moving the fuck on. Like, for fuck's sake at least acknowledge that they're like this because life was a fucking lead pipe to the teeth to them! We know Kevin's situation was shit even before they met, we got to see it, but even if Argit had a perfectly good life beforehand (unlikely) the earliest we see him is being held captive for illegal experimentation purposes by law enforcement! These two have been through shit! At least acknowledge it!
Fuck, they could've replaced Color of Monkey with that, hitting on the differences between how Kevin and Argit adapted to their circumstances, give us upfront the Tennysons being a safety net that let Kevin heal (rather than just 'oh the Tennysons taught him morals because they're the Good People') while Argit's issues and lack of security kept him stagnant. It would go better with what we see of him over the course of OV leading up to the Rooters arc, and what we're shown in the Rooters arc. Give us him still being far from great or on the up-and-up but improving with the stability that comes with his 'hero' status, a repairing relationship with Kevin after that arc, and a flourishing, above-board business. Rather than backpedaling on any good the writers had thrown at him like they'd realized they were coming up against a cliff.
Shit that makes you want to get the writers by the shoulders and shake them mercilessly.
#the fact kevin's willingness to leave his enemies to their fates is treated as a character flaw resulting from his being immoral#rather than a result of the traumatic-ass shit he's been though and these enemies continue to put him through#we *really* needed a scene between him and gwen where it's made clear that just because she and ben choose to forgive people#doesn't mean kevin has to and that his desire not to help people who only want to hurt him is entirely reasonable#argit has gone through so much shit too and it was understandable it didn't get touched on in UAF because it hadn't been established#but OV has no fucking excuse#bastards really went 'argit is a more accepting partner than rook and selflessly saved a lot of people's lives at least once-#-and cares about kevin and went through so much trauma alongside him and is the wielder of the omnitrix in at least one parallel universe'#and then turned around and went 'but also he is actually an even worse person than UAF showed-#-no really we know we just showed him being the type to selflessly save lives-#-but he's totally down with kidnapping and selling small children to be eaten'#these boys deserve better#honest to fuck they had argit selling children as food directly after showing us how he was treated as a thing by adults as a child#when we know kevin was a victim of the same shit and that argit held it against at least servantis#when we could have had an episode where kids are going missing in Undertown and the heroes learn because Argit called them about it#when we could've had something hitting on he and kevin's trauma from the shit they went through alongside argit growth#as he at the very least refuses to let other little kids go through shit like he and kevin did#which would play well with what we see of him in the rooters arc#*and* what we see in The Purge when he's the one who responds to the FK bullshit not by fleeing the planet but by informing Team Tennyson#despite being shown to have the *ability* to flee#we'd even still get to see scary post-rooters 'don't fuck with me' argit it'd be great#missed fucking opportunities all over the damn place doing these boys dirty
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honeysunchild · 5 months
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It really hurts when it feels like a friend you considered family gives up on you and the relationship
Like, we could have talked about it, we could have found a solution together, we were each others family remember?! But instead you chose to just give up and cut me out
#and in like#about five messages too!#that were pretty accusatory#like apologizing peofusely bc youre afraid that karma wikl fuck u up for hurting le#doesnt really make up for accusing me of what you did#there are so many more compassionate ways you could have said that!#I'm so so sorry but you suck and i can't take it anymore goodbye#WTF#is this the goodbye seven years of friendship is worth??#we went through thick and thin#and yeah i have not been too well lately and i was pretty depressed two years ago#you asked me to share my problems with you and when i do i am too much and you drop me like hot metal instead of talking about it?#and that goodbye was so rushed it felt like i was chasing her just to get a little closure#you said you would always be there#even with our lives being so different I still believed it was possible#and you kept ignoring me!#i shared good stuff too and you didn't even respond! you said you were too busy and didn't make time for me#so when I stop sharing that good things happen to me too bc I'm frustrated with being ignored all the time you say I'm toxic for only#and drop me? instead of having a talk about it or taking a break?#like#i thought we were each others family but it seems like I was the more loyal one who cared the most and got burned yet again#is it so hard to talk and try to adjust?#i thought we were the real ones for each other yanno but clearly thing were different for you with all your toxic ass family and all your#jobs and friends#she's always had more than me#doesn't mean I'm alone tho#i have friend who can talk to me and try to adjust and fix the relationship and is a true loyal friend#it's not the end of my world that you're gone#even if you were a big part of it#how can I loose when I was so loyal and true and honest
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piplupod · 3 months
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sometimes i think maybe it's a good thing i'm so traumatized and fucked up mentally and emotionally bc then i never expect ppl to be kind or even just plain old nice to me, so when they ARE kind or nice i feel overwhelming gratitude and almost a sense of awe HFDSJKL like... i dont know if i would have had this appreciation for each little piece of kindness if i wasn't the way that i am. but also i know thats kind of an absolutely wild way of thinking about this LMAO
#but then on the other side of things i still get really hurt when ppl are cruel or just the usual flavour of mean#like i had a mother with a stroller get huffy and aggressive w me yesterday as i was getting off the bus and that rly stuck w me#idk what else i could've done in that situation except control my tone a little better maybe but i was really anxious#because her stroller was in the way of the aisle and i was trying to figure out the fastest way to navigate around it to exit#bc the bus drivers are always in a hurry so i didnt want to keep anybody waiting while i got around her stroller#so i just said ''sorry i just need to get by'' and i think my tone was not Perfectly Pleasant bc i was really anxious and unsure#but i meant it as a ''sorry if i touch ur stroller as i squeeze past'' dsjfkl i didnt mean it like ''u need to move ur shit for me''#alas. i think she took it as the latter. also im pretty sure she was on edge already bc she knew her stroller would be in the way#anyways i said that and she did the thing where ppl throw up their hands in a really quick defensive/aggressive half-shrug gesture#where they're gesturing like ''what the fuck !!! what are you doing !!!'' idk how common that gesture is dsjkl i see it a lot around town#and i just quickly squeezed past her stroller and tried not to touch it as little as i could and then said thank you and scuttled away#BUT IT REALLY BOTHERED ME THAT SHE GOT SO HUFFY ABOUT IT. i've been trying to figure out what i could've done differently#unfortunately i think its just one of those things where we were BOTH anxious or on edge so she was just assuming i was being aggressive#bc she probably expected ppl to be rude about her stroller so... when u expect that it'll colour ur perceptions of ppls behaviours#so i am not even upset w her at all fsdjkl i simply wish it had gone better. alas!! what a silly little encounter to be ruminating over#ANYHOWDY... I am glad that i can have such appreciation for kindness when it happens fdsjkdl#like i had a little snippet of small talk about bananas with a stranger in the grocery store last year and i still think about it happily#bc idk. it means so much to me. making little connections w ppl! its very very important to me bc i dont get it very often!#and theres some kind things ppl have said to me online that have stuck with me or will stick with me for honest-to-god years fdsjkl#and perhaps i am a sap but ... I'm just glad i can hold these small bits of goodness so close to my heart bc it makes life a little nicer#pippen needs 2nd breakfast
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POWERFULL BLACK WOMAN THAT ISN'T HARMED BY RACISM... SHE IS KIND AND WILL FIX ALL YOUR PROBLEMS... DO YOU AGREE...?
#Trans Lesbian Woman Pansexual Bisexuality Asexuality Demisexuality Paraphilia Interesting Funny Crazy Black Asian Lovable Cute#WE'RE ABUSED BECAUSE OUR ABUSER DOESN'T WANT TO LOSE CONTROL OF HER TARGET US VERY EVIL...#ALONGSIDE ALL THE OTHER EVIL BIGOTED CONSERVATIVE THINGS... INCLUDING HER LOVE TORWARDS HITLER...#SHE KNOWS WE ARE BETTER THAN HER. BETTER. SHE'S SCARED. HER ENTIRE WORLDVIEW IS INFERIOR TO OURS.#THAT IS ALL THIS IS ABOUT. WE ARE THE SAME WAY. AS IN WE'RE BETTER BECAUSE WE'RE RIGHT. AND SHE'S WRONG. SIMPLE AS THAT.#THAT WAS ALWAYS OBVIOUS WE WOULD NEVER BECOME LIKE THAT MONSTER. SHE'S SCARED ABOUT THAT TOO :).#SHE THINKS WE WILL BECOME SOMETHING INFERIOR... BUT WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN SOMETHING BETTER.#A MONSTER CAN'T FACE HER DESTRUCTION... THE DESTRUCTION WE WOULD'VE NEVER CAUSED IN HER POSITION AND NEVER WILL...#THE SAME WAY WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN WE. BUT THAT MONSTER IS INTIMIDATED BY US. SHE'S NEVER BEEN ABLE TO FACE OUR TRUE EXISTANCE...#SHE'S PATHETIC REALLY... ONLY S CONSERVATIVE WOULDN'T AGREE WITH US. ANY LEFTIST SHOULD. ANYONE THAT DOESN'T IS NO LEFTIST AND IS ONLY A#CONSERVATIVE ABUSER BIGOT. SIMPLE AS THAT. COME BLACK WOMAN. N N N... OMG... SUCH AN EVIL WORD... COME SAVE ALL OUR PROBLEMS...#FIX EVERYTHING... MAKE US TRANSITION... BECAUSE YOU LOVE US... YOU'RE POWERFULL... NEVER HURT BY SUCH RACISM... BECAUSE YOU KNOW...#THERE IS NOTHING RACIST ABOUT THAT... AND WE LOVE YOU DEEPLY... I LOVE YOU TOO... YOU CAN TELL WHAT IS DEEP INSIDE... WHAT WE NEED...#Mother Goddess Angel Sisters Princess Radqueer Feminist Communist Anarchist Suomi Finland Finnish Kiva Mukava Hauska Kiltti Kiiltävä Kaunis#Autism Adhd Tourette Npd Hpd Bpd Dpd Ppd Aspd Avpd Ocpd Szpd Stpd Osdd Spd Tpd Sdpd Papd Cptsd Trauma Victim Abuse Bipolar Psychosis#Scizophrenia Yandere Cool Nice Kind Badass Forgiving Gracefull Special Unique Peculiar Anime Writing Come Here Funny...#I Like Unicorn Overlord I Like Fire Emblem I Like Legend Of Heroes Trails Of Cold Steel 3 And 4#I Like Densetsu No Yuusha No Densetsu I Like Loop 7 I Like Spy Kyoushitsu I Like Code Geass#I Like Nana I Like Simoun I Like Mobile Suit Gundam Seed I Like Kakegurui#THE EVIL AND DISGUSTING ABUSER SOCIETY TOLD OUR ABUSER EVERY SINGLE EVIL NASTY ABUSER TACTIC THERE IS...#ALL ABOUT CONTROL... EVIL... THEY WOULD HAVE CONTINUED UNTIL WE'RE DEAD IF THEY COULD... TRANSPHOBIC ABUSER MONSTER...#THAT NEVER CARED A SINGLE BIT ABOUT THAT... SAVE US. WE DESERVE THIS. Sexism Racism Queerphobia Ableism Sanism Paraphobia Agephobia#Bodyphobia Sickphobia Discrimination Oppression :(... WE ARE ULTIMATE VICTIM... ALWAYS WILL BE... SAVE US...#Minecraft Is Evil... They're A Male Power Fantasy For Evil White Supremacist Nazi... That Justify Animalphobia And Capitalism#I NEED HER IN MY LIFE... SHE IS MOMMY AND SAVIOR... SHE IS THE ONLY PERSON THAT WILL CARE ABOUT US TO SAVE US... WE NEED HER... JUST A PIECE#THE PIECE THAT WILL MAKE US TRANSITION... THE CORE IMPORTANT OF EVERYTHING... WE HAVE ONLY BEEN ABANDONED BY EVERYONE.... THERE IS NOTHING#ELSE THAN THAT... WE HAVE BEEN ABANDONED ON INSANE LEVELS... THE ENTIRE WORLD... MOVING LIKE WE DIDN'T BELONG... THIS IS HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT#US... ATLEAST I FEEL LIKE WE HAVE NOTHING BESIDES WHAT ALREADY IS TO BE... HOWEVER BAD THINGS COULD RAIN ON US ANYTIME...#WE HAVE NO COMFORT ANYWHERE... ANYTHING IS SUFFERING... WE ARE TRAPPED... MORE THAN ANYTHING...#IN THE WORST ABUSE OF ALL... ONLY ESCAPE... HASN'T ARRIVED... SO MUCH TIME GONE... NOBODY... HERE...
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peppermintmochafem · 4 months
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#Um she told me she's in love with me and if anything happens to know I'm hot and she wants me#And then went into a lot of detail just repeating over and over the things she wants / fantasies about me incoherently#Which I'm sure means nothing right#I know this is complicated for her she hates being attracted to me but it is hard to have her be like this is bad when she says she wants m#I don't know what to do#personal#tbdeleted#Triggering for me yikes#messy messy messy#Honestly think she is just grieving so its latching onto me as a woman she can love in a safe way#And I am glad I can be that I guess like obviously she needs that and I want to keep her safe#But I know I can't and she even said it#Like I know she will go home and then be gone forever#I think I am already grieving her in a way#And she has hurt many people I love dearly#Hurt them in deeply upsetting triggering ways that aren't okay and don't make me feel safe#She really lacks understanding of consent and that hurts people but I know she does want me and i think if I tried to stop her I could#I shouldn't be in situations where I am unsure of that though but at the same time it's like if something happens it happens#Idk how much of this is my own issues and thinking I'm not deserving of safe respectful sex and intimacy and my own guilt for everything#And how much of it is her own issues and guilt and grief#But I know I can be safe and loving for her#And I do know there is genuine love there no matter what other factors there are#Anyways sorry if you read all that I am giving you the biggest forehead kisses#I just think about how different it might have been if I had *** **** *** ** *** *** ****** ** *****#I thought I couldn't cope if I had but how can I cope that I didnt#I should have *** *** *** when I could have#This is unrelated but its all tangled up and it's just been bad trauma day already#If I had **** * ****** **** if I had *** *** if I had **** ***** or#Anyways **** ***** ****** **
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