#And she has hurt many people I love dearly

[peppermintmochafem]

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[dollypopup]

I truly cannot overstate just how much I adore Colin Bridgerton as a male love lead, and how important his story is, in particular in a current, modern reading. We live in a time of alpha male machismo that in many ways mirrors the sexism of the historical time period Colin is in, and we have a hero who explicitly rejects it. More than that, we have a hero who first tries on the persona, first tries to fit in, and then determines, with no outside influence and all on his own, that it's wrong. That he doesn't want to be like the men of his society, that he doesn't like the expectation of sex without love and commitment and connection, that he doesn't want to be 'one of the boys', even if it comes at their derision.

Because when Violet says he has always been her most sensitive child, when he has always considered others before himself, when he has always offered a joke or a moment of levity- for so long, he felt he had to. That there was no other choice.

Colin Bridgerton, The Great Pretender, is finally coming into the light.

Take my hand. Come walk with me.

Colin's arc is incredibly clear, and incredibly dear to me. We can track his progress throughout the seasons he has been in, but if we consider his backstory, it comes even more in clarity.

Piecing together a timeline with some influence from the books and loose historical accuracy, Colin loses his father at 12 and then is sent off to Eton. And he is a tiny thing when his father passes, shorter even than his 9 year old sister, Eloise.

(Yes, I checked!! He's half a head shorter than Eloise, and an entire head shorter than Daphne. This boy is SMALL)

So it makes a lot of sense to me that this is the start of his fake-it-to-make-it personality. He cannot grieve with his family in these circumstances, he's been sent off to school with other boys who are bigger and stronger than him, and he must realize relatively quickly that weakness in their eyes will never be tolerated. In fact, Eton was well known for corporal punishment and bullying during this time. Older boys were well known to mistreat the younger once, and considering just how small and soft-hearted Colin is, and just how vulnerable he is having lost his father-

Of course Colin would become a target of such.

And despite that, we meet him in Season 1 with an endearing earnestness and hopefulness in the world. Something inside him, something sweet and gentle and warm, thrives to live. And fights against grief to do so. How easy it would have been for him to lose his father and be bitter. How easy for him to see his father die from the steps of Aubrey Hall, to be sent to a boarding school away, and withdraw in on himself.

And yet, he doesn't.

At least, not in the way one would suspect. Instead, Colin becomes a chronic people pleaser. If the people around him are happy, then he will be safe. Will not be hurt. And they have no space for his own hurt, regardless. There's hardly even any space for his mirth, as most people didn't even reply to his letters on his travels the previous season.

In Colin's confession in Season 3, he says 'I have spent so long trying to feel less', and this numbing begins early in his life. He's a consummate gentleman in Season 1. He does everything by the book, everything as he should. He wants to be accepted in his society, wants to be taken seriously, wants to belong. So he sees a pretty woman, and he gets along with her well enough, and he courts her. Openly, honestly, in full view. It isn't a heart-stopping love, but he has numbed himself for years at this point, so affection will do, and if proper men of his society are married, well, maybe he'd finally be taken seriously.

And yet, no one notices him, even still. No one except Penelope. His own mother doesn't recognize his behavior, and worries for him after she does. How long has it been since she's actually seen him? We know from the show that he's incredibly close to his mother, and loves her dearly, but we also know that after Edmund's passing, Violet was mired in grief and post-partum depression. Colin misses much of this as a firsthand witness since he's at school, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't be able to tell, wouldn't be affected by losing his mother and father in one fell swoop. In fact, Colin loses his connection to the majority of his family in being sent to school so soon after the tragedy. So of course he comes back and he tries not to make waves. Tries to do things correctly.

His friction with Anthony proves time and time again that nothing he does is entirely ever able to fully please him, and this causes contention in their brotherly bond. Of all the siblings, Anthony is arguably the most harsh with Colin. And he is also the model for who a man should be in the family, as the head of the family.

So when Anthony sees Colin earnestly try to marry, he scoffs him off. Accuses Colin of only wanting to marry to have sex, and then claiming "It is my fault. I should have taken you to brothels." This is the first on-screen shaming of Colin looking for connection before sex, and Colin doubles down. He wants to marry for love.

But he doesn't actually love Marina. Neither of them truly know each other, and so when it all blows up, and he is humiliated to the entirety of his community, Colin gets his first taste of romantic failure. He tried to do it right, and it ended more wrong than he could have ever imagined. So, maybe Anthony was right. Maybe he is just a foolish, green boy, who has no idea how to go about things. The fallout of his failed engagement echoes in the persona he puts on in Season 3, and the choices he undergoes during them. Is it any wonder he ends up going to brothels to have unfulfilling sex if even his own BROTHER, the head of his family, tells him to do so?

It doesn't happen right away, though. Despite the fact that no one truly checks on him or sees how this breakup effects him (Eloise dismisses the hurt he must feel in light of such events with an honestly rather accurate wave-away "Men are always less affected", and that is true), it is evident that he is NOT okay.

We leave Colin in Season 1 putting on a mask, a happy face to his family, a 'you inspired me' to Penelope, and then spends his travels sad. Depressed. Taking drugs to try to ease his mind, occupying himself with writing to Penelope. In Season 2, he spends the entirety of it trying to be useful. And he does this with Penelope. He feels deeply for her, he cares so much for her, and he even says it to her aloud 'You are special to me' and 'I will always look after you' and how he could never give her up. Season 2 is a season of healing for Colin- he closes his chapter with Marina with a relationship post-mortum conversation after he does a wellness check to make sure she's alive (let's be real here, no one else was going to reach out to her. She made it clear to him that even her own father didn't want her), makes amends with Will, proves himself useful to Penelope, and departs on a high: he thinks he threaded the needle. He thinks he was successful sending Jack off, that he made Penelope happy, and that he's in with The Boys.

But whilst the person he is around Penelope is genuine, the person he is around these men are not. We know from Season 3 that they don't actually like him. They make snide, underhanded comments toward him, and laugh at him. I stand by the idea that end of season 2 is Fife and Co. laughing at Penelope AND laughing at Colin. They don't care about their friendship, they're teasing him for caring about her so openly, and Colin is protective of the relationship he has with Penelope. So he makes a comment for the boys, and puts on his mask. 'I would never court Penelope Featherington' (look, I'm just like you. I walk like you, talk like you, speak like you) 'Not in your wildest fantasies, Fife' (I am one of you one of you one of you- so why does it feel so hollow?)

He gets, now, his first taste of acceptance from them. They come to him to Mondrich's bar, he repays his slight against him, and he feels he is one of them. (Does he truly *want* to be one of them?) And so when we open Season 3, it's a smooth progression.

Colin is walking the walk and talking the talk, and yet his heart isn't in it. He's not one of these smarmy men, but he mimics them. Their behavior. In part, at least. Whilst Fife is out preying on 18 year old women in coat closets, Colin is telling gaggles of girls how pretty they are and how with such nice dresses, they're sure to find a husband. He makes it clear he's not an option, but that he doesn't mind being a fantasy. And Luke Newton does an amazing job making that clear: there are three sides of Colin. The Colin portrayed to his society in the light in good company (1) and the Colin portrayed to his society in the dark, in. . .less savory circles (aka: The Lads)(2), his 'armor' as his mum calls it. And finally, the most important but the one kept closest to the chest: the Colin of truth. The Colin who cries alone in his room after a breakup, the Colin who doesn't burden others with his feelings, the Colin who writes to Penelope, the Colin who loves deeply and feels deeply.

But his society has no use for a man like the real Colin, they do not *want* a man like real Colin, so he puts it under lock and key. And so much of this is centered around his feelings about sex, so here comes my 'Colin is Queer' soapbox. Colin does not experience sexual attraction like the rest of the men of the ton. He is expected to find it casual and be cavalier about it. To just want to fuck for the sake of fucking. But Colin needs love and romance and connection to actually enjoy sexual interactions. Nowadays, we recognize this as being on the asexual spectrum, of being demisexual, but he didn't have words for that in the time period he's in, so he has to forge ahead to figure himself out without a community identity to find solidarity with. That's what makes the brothel scenes so interesting as a narrative device: in the first, he's masking even in the midst of it, and in the second, he can't. After kissing Penelope, he finally, for the first time in his life, has a sexual interaction that means something to him.

It's the first one he truly enjoys, and the first one that feels right to him. It clicks for him that oh, that's what it's meant to be like. And the strain of that realization whilst still having to be what his society expects of him puts immense stress on his shoulders. You see how he grows more and more uncomfortable about the conversations, until finally he rejects it outright.

Even when it's very much not encouraged for him to do so. He's even told "You are much more fun this season." That's why he hides himself. From near everyone, even his family, even his brothers. It's telling how Anthony's positive interaction with Colin is when they're at the club, and Anthony praises him for his most recent attention. Have we seen much of Anthony being proud of Colin, otherwise? Not really. So he's reinforced in his persona. Doesn't boast of his travels because it didn't have anyone liking him for it, before. Doesn't even say how many cities he's gone to. Except with Penelope.

In the books, there's a line about their kiss, referencing how his world will never be the same. And it won't be. Because when Colin says that she helps him see the world in new ways, it's in a multitude of meanings.

Penelope refuses to let him wear the mask, because in truth, Penelope is the only one who doesn't like it. Not only does she see the real Colin, but she enjoys the real Colin. Whilst everyone else is simpering over Colin's new look and attitude, rejects who he is in reality, Penelope dismisses it, wants the person she knows him to be instead. It's only when he strips down the facades that Penelope allows him into her life again. And her Whistledown article was harsh, but it was also true. He *is* masking. He *is* putting on a persona and a role. But she was wrong when she asked if Colin even knows which is real: Colin knows very well which is real. And he also knows the realities of him haven't been accepted.

When Colin tells Penelope charm can be taught, he speaks from experience. When he says 'living for the expectations of others is a trap' it is because he has already fallen into it, and if he can't dig himself out, maybe he can keep her from it. Colin tells her 'you do not need lessons' and that she is fine exactly as she is, because just as she sees the real him and loves him, he sees the real her, and loves her, too. But they both live in the constraints of their society, and so they both put on the masquerade. Even sometimes to hide from each other.

The current climax of his arc is when he's out with the lads, after they all go off to the brothel again, and he disassociates from the experience. Playing cards and insisting on sharing sexual exploits, to which he does not want to take part, and makes a lighthearted dig at them. 'There is no gentleman at this table'. He includes himself in that, and then clarifies. He speaks aloud for the first time to them the truth of his heart- 'Do you not ever tire of the expectation to remain cavalier about the one thing in life that holds genuine meaning? Do you not find it lonely?' Can it really only just be him?

And it is. Or, maybe it isn't, but the rest of them aren't brave enough to admit it, so they're okay in making him feel like it is, in outcasting him for being a romantic, for caring about a woman beyond what she can provide for him sexually. Colin professes he doesn't like who he's become, doesn't like the expectations for him to behave the way he has, and they laugh at him. Again. He is made fun of, again.

He goes home and he falls in his bed and he feels like he lost it all. Lost Penelope to his own advice, and lost his newfound shine in his community. But when he's faced with which one matters more to him, he chooses Penelope. Unhesitatingly.

Colin chooses to be sensitive. He chooses to be a warm-hearted, gentle man in a society that prefers sexist machismo. Act one way in the light and another in the shadows. Colin wants to live authentically, as a man he doesn't really have a role model for. He is brave and he is tender, he sees the sexism of his society and he rejects it. He sees the importance Penelope has in his life, the way she makes him feel, and he embraces her wholeheartedly. He wants love and romance, he wants connection and meaning.

Colin, The Great Pretender, sick of pretending. Colin, walking into that ballroom and giving Fife the cut direct when he invites him out. Colin, cutting into a dance in the middle of a ball between Penelope and a man the entire city knows is about to propose. Colin staring deeply into her eyes with such unfiltered longing even *Cressida* can't help but notice what's going on. Colin running off after Penelope in full view of his society, outrunning a *carriage* to see her. Begging her to let him in. Colin on his knees, all but flaying his chest open for Penelope to see his heart. Colin made a choice when that candle flickered out, and his choice was Penelope. His choice was himself. And his choice was to flip off societal expectation and to live for love, damn the consequences.

I think our own world would be a better place if modern men took his example, too. Colin Bridgerton as male love lead in Bridgerton, a global show, is such a refreshing, wonderful example. A man who tried to be like what the world wanted, and who decided to go against the gender norms of his time. A man who prioritizes the woman he loves, who risks ridicule in doing so and comes to realize that he doesn't care. He doesn't care anymore about being one of the boys, one of the lads, one of the guys. Fuck his society if his society can't recognize the beauty of what he feels with Pen. He cares about being the best self he can be. And that best self is around Penelope, inspired by Penelope.

Because how he is with Penelope? God, I could swoon. At every turn, he prioritizes her comfort and personhood. He validates her, he sees her in beautiful, positive light and he helps her see herself that way, too. He encourages her to be brave because he already feels she is, he refuses to let her call herself stupid or a laughingstock, he apologizes without excuses, he checks in on her every step of the way. He's so passionate in that carriage, he's burning for her, he's yearning, but he doesn't do anything until she agrees for him to. He confesses his feelings and when she says they're friends, he backs off. He listens, he cares. He apologizes for overstepping her boundaries, and then when she gives him her consent, the only thing on his mind is showing how much he wants and appreciates her by providing her pleasure. Colin, the people pleaser, dedicated only to pleasing two people in that moment: Penelope, and himself. Because he wants to do that, to give her an orgasm that exists just for her. He's a witness to it, and that's pleasure for him, too. He waits for her nod of consent, he revels in seeing her enjoying herself. And the aftercare- I could cry.

Colin is a man who had every single reason not to be a kind, sensitive soul, and still he chose it. Chose to share it because the headline, even a wallflower can bloom, that's not just for Penelope.

It's for Colin, too.

[lisa-cuddys]

People have said many times how Fourteenth Doctor is so much more open with feelings and emotions than Ten. But it is especially huge when it comes to Donna specifically. Ten was so reserved and held back so much when it came to expressing feelings and voicing them, that his companions never fully understood how much they meant to him. Ten was very flawed and very HUMAN and while he had so much love in him, he was equally afraid to express it, show it unabashedly. Did Donna ever truly understand how much he loved her? Did he ever tell her how much she meant to him on screen? When Ten knew he was losing Donna, and she was about to disappear in front of him, he knew this was his last moment with her, and the best he could do while she was conscious is hold her at arm’s length and tell her “We had the best of times”. You could see he was dying inside and this moment is killing him but he NEVER SHOWS it to her. While it’s all in his eyes, Ten still doesn’t tell her anything that would have an emotional weight or reveal the whole depth of his feelings.

Ten kept all his feelings bottled so deep inside, that when they finally started to bleed out, he made the worst mistakes possible. It ended up killing him. And the breaking point was losing Donna. He carried so much guilt over the way he lost her and the way he let her, his best friend in the whole wide universe, down, that it echoed over to the next regenerations, in Eleven’s guilt and Twelve’s face. That scene in the TARDIS in “Let’s Kill Hitler” where Eleven is poisoned, and the TARDIS is showing him images of former companions when Eleven asks “Give me guilt”. The TARDIS shows him Martha first, and there is so much to be guilty about when it comes to Martha, and then Eleven asks for “also guilt”, and the TARDIS shows him Donna, and when Eleven asks for “more guilt”, the image doesn’t change. It is still Donna, TARDIS is showing Eleven the best friend who got let down so hard by the Doctor. And the Doctor still carries that guilt and regret and heartbreak with him, because he loved his best friend and her attachment to him almost got her killed and hurt her in the worst way possible. “Stand too close, and people get burnt”, just like Martha said.

Fourteen though. He is a completely different person. He doesn’t just love Donna, he ADORES her, he is here FOR HER, this face is here BECAUSE OF HER. He tells a complete stranger he just met that he loves his best friend Donna, and repeats it twice.

When Donna honestly asks who would care about her 'cause she thinks she is just no one, Fourteen angrily  cries “I DO!”  because that’s his brilliant and amazing best friend who after all these years still thinks so little of herself and he hadn’t been there to remind her of that, and it is all his fault that she doesn’t remember how fantastic and special and extraordinary she has always been and how many times her brilliance saved worlds and lives, including the Doctor’s.

Fourteen is crying and screaming and breaking down, when he thinks Donna is about to die in front of him, all because he is so afraid of losing her again. Fourteen cradles Donna’s body and cries when he thinks he had lost her and tells the Meep’s soldiers to kill him, because he doesn’t care anymore, because someone he loves so dearly is dead in his arms, and it is all his fault.

When Donna gets her memories back, Fourteen almost immediately confesses how losing her KILLED HIM and how he remembers every second with her. He tearfully confesses that he has missed her for all those years they were apart, it’s been millions of years they spent apart for the Doctor. All those years the Doctor needed Donna who would make him laugh again, Donna who would keep him grounded, Donna who would call him spaceman and silently hug him when he needed it the most, Donna who would understand and be there and be his touchstone and anchor and guiding light.

Fourteen knows that she can’t stay with him forever like she used to want to, but he still gives her both of his hearts and tells her how much he cherishes their time together. He offers her coffee just the way she likes it, he remembers such small details about her after literally thousands, millions of years! And he shows it to her. Fourteen is so full of love and he is not afraid to show it, he is rushing to love, to express it before Donna is gone from his life again. And he is trying to make up for all those years as Ten when he couldn’t say these things to Donna, and she never knew just how much she meant to him. Donna never knew that she was his soulmate, that her presence made such an impact and her absence led to Ten’s death and that he died saving her grandad.

Fourteen kisses Donna’s hands and hair and hugs her like she is the most precious thing he knows. His hugs are also different from Ten’s. Fourteen wraps himself around Donna and holds her tight, this is how he shows his affection. He wants Donna to hear, know AND feel how much he cares. Because he already knows what it’s like to lose her and he wants her to know in case he has to let her go forever again.

When there is a threat of the world ending and his wonderful selfless Donna once again stresses that it is not about her, the Doctor solemnly replies that it really is. Because here right now in mortal danger he is willing to put her first and thinks of her wellbeing before anything else, because Donna Noble means the world to him.

Fourteen loves Donna so much, that he is willing to stay with her forever, staying still is not so bad when it’s with her. Fourteen is so tired and weary and bruised and exhausted but when he looks into Donna’s eyes, he doesn’t feel so tired anymore.

Fourteen got Ten’s face because he needed rest, but also maybe, just maybe, because Ten didn’t want to go so badly that he broke through and got the chance to come back so he could have another chance, to have a life and be with his best friend again and come home. Fourteen was born out of love that Ten had for Donna. And that love (and the TARDIS) brought him right to Donna’s doorstep, so he can hear her call him spaceman again and have the best of times for as long as they live and have a laugh with his family in their shared garden and find out what it’s like to be happy. Fourteen gives his love so openly and freely and he gets to receive it too, he gets to bask in it and revel in it. He finally gets the reward Ten was dreaming about.

[iwrite-sinsandtragedies]

Day 1 — Soulmates ₊˚✧ ﾟ

Submission for @goldengroovy's @olnfweek2024

MC: Micha

Long ass ramble under the cut 😂

Okayokayokay SO-

I love soulmate au's. I cannot tell you how many fics I've read or how many prompts I've played with or media I've consumed or how many bullshit ideas I've come up with in my own head for them, I CANNOT.

It's just - hhhhhhhhhhhh- Soulmate au's and Time Travel au's are just the shit that gets me out of bed some days 😩💖my world weary soul drinks that shit like medicine, okay?

That all being said, it's probably a little ambiguous which au I picked to some, so let me explain: There are two au's I'm mashing up here really, both are from fics I've read back in the day. One being a Clack fic and the other a Thilbo one 🤷‍♂️kind of calling myself out here but w/e, they were good fics.

The Thilbo one is easier to explain - the concept is "Heartsong" which is, literally what it says on the tin. You find out who your soulmate is the first time you hear them sing (and no, that does not mean everyone is just a naturally good singer - they can be ass at music but, the point is, when you hear them their song is the perfect song for you and your heart knows that). There's a lot of little nuances to this one - things like you hearing your heartsong when you dream so you always know the moment you find them. Also people who have quiet dreams because their heartsong died, sometimes before ever even meeting them. etc etc. The heartsong also seems to expand, in some respect, to instruments (as Thorin plays his harp one night and Bilbo starts to hum without thinking about it because it sounds wonderful to him and that's how Thorin finds out).

Overall, it's a very soft and sweet concept to me and as someone who has a deep love of music, it's also one of my very favourites.

The Clack one is a little less easy to explain? I think. Maybe because it's nuances are so round about but I'll do my best. The concept for this one is "I Only See Colour When I'm With You" - anyone who knows how Clack fics usually go knows where this is probably headed 😂 and I am sorry to have hurt you but, overall, the idea is: You live in a noir-esqu world where everything is black and white. This only changes when you find your soulmate, of course, who brings the world into full saturation and lets you see colour for - possibly - the first time in your life (I say possibly because I genuinely can't remember if you start out colourblind or if it's an age cap thing).

Unfortunately, for as much as I adore this concept, it's been a long damn time since I read the fic and I don't even know if it still exists somewhere. So I can't actually recall if it was a 'you have to touch them' or 'you have to hear them' thing but the fic takes place with Zack on the cliff right before Midgar where he holds Cloud and looks at the sky - so I'm willing to bet it's a touch thing.

I also really loved this fic because it was the first one I'd read that brought in the concept of multiple soulmates to me - As Cloud later sits with Aerith and sees the colour he couldn't see with Zack, meanwhile Aerith only sees black and white, because she was only able to see colour with Zack (who was never able to see colour with her, because he needed Cloud for that).

Essentially, they all needed each other to see the world in colour. As a polyam person who didn't quite realise I was poly back then, it was a very comforting (and now dearly cherished) fic.

Anyways! Now that you have the background on the two concepts, you can kind of get what I'm going for with this piece.

Tamarack, Micha and Qiu are all soulmates in a fuzzy, desaturated world (I'm sorry, I'm not cruel enough to but them in complete greyscale LOL) and the way you find your soulmate is by hearing them sing and, when they do, your world is suddenly vivid and bright and beautiful. Suddenly, you can see things as they were meant to be seen and it's a permanent change (unlike the Clack fic) but things are always clearest and brightest when your soulmate speaks or sings 💖

I get a real kick out of the idea that Micha's known for fucking months that Tamarack is his soulmate (if not years) because he's always listening to her play but never says jack shit about it because he's emotionally constipated that way 😂Though genuinely, it's probably because he just doesn't think he's her soulmate and he's a bit against finding out he's right honestly.

Joke is on him, he's Qiu's and Tamaracks soulmate! And he couldn't have picked a better moment to grow a pair an take the risk 🥰

[starstruckgoateepuppy]

i was a dick, it is what it is

mina x f!reader

synopsis: you wanted to die so bad, and when you try, you forget about how much it would hurt your mina

genre: angst, fluff

warnings: mentions of pills, vomit

wc:854

a/n: my mimiwimi 🙁 i have so many drafts goodness its short but oh well sorry to disappoint

you held the pill bottle in your hand. you were crying, no one was home, no one to stop you. but why were you hesitating? you felt so helpless and at that moment you wanted to live, you wanted to live peacefully and happily without any problems. but who doesn’t have problems?

you had your mom and dad who was never around, you had some friends who you treasured very dearly, and your girlfriend who you would kill for. you were struggling so much and no one was there to save you from it, you didn’t want to burden anyone.

you hated that you felt this way, you hated that everyone had to see how messed up you were. you wanted to care for people, not needing them to take care of you. you plopped the pill in your mouth, swallowing it.

suddenly in your dilemma, you hear a buzz from

your phone. a notification from your precious girlfriend. you read it carefully, you read it again and again. you suddenly drop the pill bottle and regret everything you did. what did you do? why were you doing this? you had so many people who cared for you. you started to remember that, you forgot about it. you ran to the bathroom as fast as you could. forcing yourself to throw up the pill you just swallowed.

“hey lovely, you know that i miss you and i care for you so much right? xoxo your girl, minari”

that was a text that was sent a few seconds ago and a text that mina probably didnt know saved you from almost not being there anymore. you were struggling trying to vomit the pill out. you didn’t want to die anymore. you wanted to hug your girlfriend, your mother who cared for you when you were at your worst, even when your father was being horrible and argued with your mother so many times. you couldn’t imagine how much she would be grieving if you left.

your mouth was full of the white substance from the pill that was meant to unalive you. you vomited it out? hopefully. you wanted to stay, get some help. you felt painful in your heart, you wanted to live but the pain was unbearable. at least you were trying.

you hear the front door open. your mom came home, you run into her arms. surprising her a little, she hugged back tightly, kind of choking each other but you couldn’t care. you almost did not have the chance to hug her again. you kept remembering the message mina sent you. you had to meet her now. you had to tell her everything and tell her all your feelings and problems you have kept to yourself all the months. and how much she has helped you mentally.

“mom can i go to minas house?” you look up at her, loosening the hug. she nods, knowing that you had to say something important.

she went into your room after you left, not wanting to invade your privacy but just wanting to sit on your bed thinking. as she sat, she felt something hard after placing her hand on the bed. she saw the pill bottle, she stared at it closely. tears welling up from her eyes. she couldn’t believe what she saw, she really hoped you were safe, she couldn’t imagine you gone, the very room she was in, your body was almost found dead in. why was she only finding out about this? she felt so guilty she never realised any of this sooner. you were such a cheerful person, never once would she have thought you felt like this. it pained her as a mother that you felt this way. no wonder that was the most warming hug you have ever given her.

-

your frantic knocking on minas front door begging for her to open up and hug her as tight. you never left the house for days, saying you were sick and your body was sore. it never was, maybe your heart was. you haven’t met your baby in weeks and you never realised how much you took her for granted. you regretted ghosting her without telling her why you weren’t coming to school nor texting her. she was also helpless but she knew something was wrong and knew it was a problem for you to fix. she trusted in you that you would never do something like that on purpose to make her feel bad.

you were a great girlfriend in her eyes, anyone could see how much you cared and loved her. she couldn’t imagine a world without you. although she almost had to.

the creak of the door as it opened up to see a beautiful black haired woman with the brightest gummy smile you have ever seen. she smiled so hard her cheeks were hurting, how could she not knowing you were just fine? you lifter her up, letting her gasp in surprise. you were so happy and grateful God gave you another chance and the realisation that you have people who care about you.

[alltheboysandgirlsiloved]

one thing I haven't touched upon yet is how well the showrunners handled the time jump between Camp Cretaceous and Chaos Theory and more specifically - how well they handled maturing the campers.

At least to me the transition is nearly smoothless. Like, a couple of years have passed for those kids and those included years when people tend to change a lot - from children they grow into young adults. And the show did a fantastic job of shaping their adult forms in terms of personality. Because all of them have the core traits that we associated them with in Camp Cretaceous but at the same time they are more mature and carry their experiences on their back - both the experiences that we know of and those that could potentially fill up the time jump space if you know what I mean.

I look at Kenji for example and I still see remains of the boy that he was - a little bit arrogant (it still shows! he is very proud just of different things!), someone who doesn't shy away from an argument; but at the same time I see a man who has spent hours teaching kids and adults how to rock-climb - he can be patient too; I see someone who had to re-evaluate a lot in his life, and I can see that it wasn't easy, that it took a toll on him.

Or for example Sammy! Someone who loves her friends and family dearly still, a girl who was willing to fight for those she loved. But at the same time I see a young woman who knows that sometimes a compromise is the best option (like that situation with her neighbor). I see someone who still learns when her love and affection need to take a backseat for others to develop. I see someone who knows that sometimes being apart, even if it hurts, may be a good thing. I see someone forgiving but persistent.

Ben too... A boy who went through severe trauma that made his personality do flip and then, once time passed, he started rebuilding what was left of his old core. Anxious he is, a little boy still, but also a fighter - because he had to be one. At the same time, I see a young man who is a little torn on where he stands, who still figures out the details of his personality but who also knows his strengths and capabilities. In the end, he is energy-unbound, and he is eager to learn about the world in so many ways.

Darius, a boy who lost so much, and a young man who lost just as much. Life hasn't been easy on him. In jwcc grief encouraged him to attend camp, fulfill his father's dream. In jwct that aspect of his personality develops even more - now grief spins him into action, he doesn't wait for things to happen, he acts. He can work with others but he can also rely on himself, he grew up; he knows that he can handle himself, he still learns that he can reach out and ask for help, but he's getting there. He really is.

Not to mention Yas who has always been a creative person. Yes, it may be surprising that I mention that first but look at her now - inventing stuff, conducting projects? Remember her sketchbook in jwcc? Yeah, look where that creativity took her, look where her compassion took her - she helps people by helping herself. It was such a problem for her in jwcc (esp at the beginning) and look at her now - she's miles ahead of her old self.

Their personalities make so much sense because they are a clear continuation of their personalities in jwcc, and that's one of the reasons why jwct is so freaking good.

[sassasafreeaction]

It’s time to talk about the Laudanum Lesbians, Elspeth and Wee Morag. Right away, it’s pretty obvious that you’re supposed to draw parallels between them and Aziraphale and Crowley. When the viewer first meets Elspeth, we get this gruff girl who threatens the two of them and is established to be doing something “morally wrong”. Life hasn’t been kind to her, and she clearly doesn’t trust people. To really drive it home, she and Crowley are on the exact same page while they’re talking to Aziraphale and wheeling the body to the alley. 

Then we meet Wee Morag, and it becomes apparent that every decision that Elspeth makes is to better their life together. She offers Wee Morag food (which is something our favorite demon is wont to do for his partner) and specifically oversells it as something fancier than it actually is. Wee Morag calls her an angel. It’s meant to be a little tongue and cheek since it’s in the presence of a literal angel, but it also serves as a way to show that while Elspeth may not be a Good person, that she at least cares about the person close to her.

Now for Wee Morag at this moment, we don’t get much from her aside from her obviously being the moral compass out of the two of them. She tells Elspeth that she's going to Hell literally two seconds after referring to her as an angel. The more important part of this interaction I would argue is Aziraphale’s response to Wee Morag. Some part of him recognizes a kindred spirit in her. He takes off his hat in a show of sincerity and says that it was lovely to meet her. This is important for later in the episode.

After they fail to sell the body, all three of them end up back in the alley with Wee Morag. Elspeth is again choosing to not trust Aziraphale despite his change of heart to do what he now knows is actually a good thing. Wee Morag starts off on the fence, worried about those souls that won’t get into Heaven. Elspeth tells her that she promised to help, and through everyone’s various methods of convincing (tempting may even be the better word as there is a demon sitting next to her when she agrees), Wee Morag says that she’ll do it because that’s what friends do. Regardless, she’s now had her change of heart. Although I would say hers is more driven by the same thing that drives Aziraphale to help with the Antichrist. It is fundamentally for her and Elspeth’s benefit, not the Greater Good per say, but she needs that reframing of doing the moral thing of upholding her promises and potentially helping people.

In the graveyard, Elspeth does all of the hardwork and Wee Morag holds the light both to assist how Elspeth sees, but also likely to help her keep watch. She’s filling a guardian role for Elspeth. Later when Elspeth sells her body, she even says “She only wanted to look after me.” Upon seeing the actual body (a priest’s body no less), Wee Morag realizes with horror what they’re doing - the potential moral ramifications stare her in the face. She ends up caught in the crossfire of a gun, and she dies for it.

Originally, I thought that Wee Morag’s death sets Crowley up to worry about what might potentially happen to Aziraphale in the future. In a way, I still think it does. She was the Good character helping the Bad character, and she pays dearly for it. His line “It’s a bit different when it’s someone you know, isn’t it?” while pointed at Aziraphale can be felt by everyone in the room. Elspeth has been dealing with death this whole episode, but her whole life is turned on its head when her ‘pal’ dies. Crowley recognizes that it’s the knowing part that actually causes something to hurt. (It’s one of the reasons why he doesn’t have many human friends. He does have a friend though, and it would absolutely gut him to lose him.)

The episode isn’t over though. We still have to watch someone else pay for stepping over the imaginary boundary of Good and Evil, except rather than it being Aziraphale, it’s Crowley. Like Wee Morag, he steps out of his usual role and helps Elspeth, and for that, he pays dearly. He gets dragged off to Hell to have whatever Demons do instead of a rude note done to him. After everything that’s happened, it’s no wonder why you get that panicked shout of “Crowley” from Aziraphale. They just watched the worst case scenario happen for people like them. 

Also as another quick fun aside, both sets of characters are bound by something that allows them to not be able to carry out their actual dreams and goals. Elspeth and Wee Morag were bound by poverty while Aziraphale and Crowley are bound by their respective Head Offices.

[yinora-evergreen]

Could you do a Dead Boy Detectives Cat King x reader Payne, Edwin’s sibling who is a ghost after a freak accident and helps them out. They always put the boys needs above their own. After the first Cat King meeting they get a little jealous of their brother but they know it’s wrong. Of course Monty and the others would like Edwin.

Pairing: Thomas "the Cat King" x gn! ghost! Payne! reader, mild implied Monty x reader if you squint, Edwin Payne x sibling! reader

a/n: tysm for this request! i hope it is to your liking and i hope it's not too ooc<3

warnings: jealous reader, it's implied that reader could be interested in Monty, Charles and Crystal [Cat King talks about which form he should take, inspired by the scene in the show when he turns into Monty and Charles to try and seduce Edwin], i wasn't sure whether these warnings were necesarry but i added them anyway just incase

You had been part of the dead boy detectives agency for a while, ever since you had found your brother Edwin again, you stayed by his side, and ofcourse Charles's too.

you aways helped out, kept them safe the best you could. even when you weren't in a state to do so.

there were uncountable times when you took the hit instead of them, physically and mentally.

you helped calm down ghosts who were lost, helped along with cases to make sure everything went according to plan, steped infront of them if someone tried to attack with an iron weapon, no matter how bad it hurt.

ofcourse, Edwin greatly appreciated it, and yet somehow you feel underappreciated.

they never changed the name, even though you joined, they were the ones people, well, ghosts looked for.

it was always "where are the two boys we were told about" and never "aren't you one of the dead boy detectives?"

when Crystal joined, she didn't seem very fond of you at first, which you honestly didn't mind too much.

could you blame her? she got her memories stolen by her demon ex and now she has no idea where she's supposed to be, where her home is.

when the four of you went to Port Townsend you thought little of it.

it was just one quick little case, right?

wrong.

because of your brother Edwin using a simple spell on a cat that you guys got stuck here.

when you first met the Cat King, you were intrigued to say the least.

maybe it was his way of talking, maybe it was those eyes that captivated you, whatever it was, you felt drawn to him.

but ofcourse, he only looked at your brother.

was it normal to feel jealous like that? you love your brother dearly, you shouldn't want to take something like that from him, right?

right?

when you met Monty, you thought he was pretty cute.

not your exact type, but cute.

but ofcourse, yet again, Edwin was the star of the show.

eventually Monty wanted to hang out with you too, but it was after the third time of him asking to hang out that you found out the only true reason was so he would have an excuse to see Edwin when walking you 'home', which really pissed you off.

so you left, mumbling something about just wanting to take a walk alone for a moment.

much to your luck, they accepted it without another thought.

as you walk, you can't help but notice the amount of cats you see everywhere.

Edwin was supposed to count them all, right?

maybe you could help by counting aswell, and telling Edwin later on how many you saw.

but you were too upset to really do that, so you just kept walking.

until you notice that one of the cats seems to be following you, no matter how many times you turn a corner, or stop for a moment, it seemed to follow your every move.

up untill a specific part, near the woods.

you thought it finally stopped following you, untill you turned around to see none other than the Cat King standing there.

that startled you, for some reason you didn't exactly expect it, and you nearly tripped if he didn't catch you.

"why are you here? why did you follow me?" you instantly question him, which seems to surprise him atleast a little.

"woah, calm down, i wasn't following you, i was just... taking a stroll... okay no i was totally following you" he admits.

"has Edwin counted all the cats yet?" you roll your eyes.

"no, obviously not, he would've gone to find you if he did" you cross your arms and look away from him.

why did he have to look so charming?

you thought he'd leave, but he didn't.

why was he still staring at you?

"you know, i only pay so much attention to him because of his spell on one of my dear cats, you should remember that"

"why would i care who you give your stupid attention to" you practically snarl, though he doesn't seem to be bothered by your tone.

"now, now, no need to feel so attacked. i just want to know, what is it that has gotten you in such a sour mood" he nearly sounds like he cares.

nearly.

"nothing, i just wanted to take a walk" you lie, hoping he'd just leave you alone.

"right, lets try that again, hm?"

he swipes his thumb over your mouth, and much to your surprise you spill everything that you've been keeping quiet about.

"it's just that, i really do love my brother, truly, but sometimes i wish he wouldn't be the one getting all the attention, like, you gave him all your attention back when you wanted to punish him for his 'crime' and Monty only wanted to hang out with me to get closer to him and i just wish that for once, just once, someone i'm interested in would actually see me too. Edwin and Charles, now Crystal too, always get so much credit for solving cases too, and yet i'm the one that keeps getting hurt, that keeps being the target, i always put them above me and ofcourse i'm not greedy about getting attention or gratefullness but does it really hurt that much to ask if i'm okay? if i'm okay with being the bait when it's necesarry? if i'm okay with being ready to face death and go to the afterlife so she'll leave them alone? is it too much to ask for just a little care that's more than just some simple praise?" you ramble on for a bit, barely noticing the small, sypathetic smile on his face.

"now, now, darling, that is quite a lot of emotion, huh?"

"oh fuck off" you snap back, the tingling feeling of the spell he used to make you tell him fading as quick as it came.

"i see you, i have for a while" he admits.

"do you have any idea how hard it is to focus on being intimidating and giving your brother his punishment for using a spell against one of my cats when you're right next to him, all pretty and enticing" he drawls out as if he's a kid who's throwing a tantrum about not getting icecream.

"i mean seriously, have you seen yourself?"

"not exactly, i don't have a reflection as a ghost" you mumble, trying to ignore the growing heat on your cheeks.

he rolls his eyes.

"tell me, what form should i take to entice you to... stay with me, atleast for the night? Monty? Charles? Crystal? i can be whoever you want me to be, my dear [name]" he says as he takes the respective forms of each person he lists, and you notice how even though he practically shape-shifts, one thing always stays the same: those eyes you've grown to love.

"just be you" you murmur, daring to take a step closer to him, to which he subtly licks his lips.

it seems as though he's about to say something, but then he kisses you instead, taking a hold on your waist, he seems to be more gentle than you expected, and you kiss him back.

if someone told you that this kiss lasted for hours, you would've believed them.

it felt as if you got that peacefull after-life that you were promised, without ever leaving behind those you care about.

reluctantly, you both pull away.

"can i stay with you tonight, then?" you mutter quietly.

the Cat King nods, taking your hand, ready to lead you to his abode.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

[ariseur]

sephiroth w/ a little sister!reader !? I don't see many headcanons / fic / anything of Sephiroth with this type of scenario although I consider it something cute & fun x'D, specifically Seph discovering that his little and beloved (?) sister has several guys with a love interest behind her. How would Seph be in the situation, would he be a protective older brother, would he be the type that scares them away with just a deadly look? My, many possibilities! (⁠☆⁠▽⁠☆⁠)

sephiroth’s little sister hcs 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

sephiroth (ffvii) x reader (platonic!!)

┊ ˚➶ notes ｡˚ 🎼

THIS REQUEST WAS SOO CUTE I NEVER SEE LITTLE SISTER HCS LIKE THIS EITHERR. thank you for the request anon, hope i did it justice !! 💗

┊ ˚➶ warnings ｡˚ 🎼

intended lowercase, mentions of pre and post nibelheim, mentions of hojo (he’s a warning within itself), possessiveness but like not in a weird way.. seph’s just crazy, lmk if i missed anything!!

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄

❥ soooo.. starting off!!

❥ i think that sephiroth with a little sister would definitely be interesting; the war hero now being seen with an ultimately younger girl, it’d be amusing seeing such a difference between the two especially if you’re shorter.

❥ i’m not sure how being sephiroth’s sister would necessarily work considering he was an “experiment” of jenova, and from my knowledge after lucrecia gave birth to him she was crystallized in the crystal caves? but if we’re ignoring that and maybe that didn’t happen or something like that idk, i think it’d be pretty hectic, especially if you were also an experiment of jenova’s cells.

❥ both pre and post sephiroth would love you dearly. pre sephiroth would make it a mission to visit you as much as possible and would try to fit some time in his schedule to go and hang out with you. usually, he’d go take walks with you or if you like food then he’d be insistent on making a trip of trying a bunch of new places.

❥ he is honestly your biggest defender— although i don’t expect a lot of people to disrespect you while a close-to-six-foot first class SOLDIER is looming right behind you. i dont know if he’d let you out of his sight all that often when you’re around him, his instincts just kinda kick in so he’s following you around like a dog.

❥ if you were known by genesis and angeal crisis-core era, and genesis hits on you or even tries to flirt??? ooh sephiroth is right behind you in an instant. he is NOT letting genesis get with you at all, i’m sorry in advance to the self insert x genesis readers that had this idea in mind but i def don’t think that seph would be okay with you dating his friends. even angeal, whom he trusts very dearly and knows that he wouldn’t try anything with you, would have sephiroth feeling iffy.

❥ if you had “suitors” or if you were popular with the boys ( and maybe the ladies too if you’re just THAT suave ), ooh sephiroth would have a heart attack. he’d want you to choose who you want, of course, but be prepared for sephiroth lurking around every corner like a cat. if you bring your partner to meet him? he’s gonna look like the scariest mf regardless if he’s trying to be or not.

❥ he especially doesn’t want you to do anything with his job. if you have jenova cells or if extraordinary strength then he might feel a little better if you were to be involved with the SOLDIER program or shinra, but if you’re a civilian then he’d rather not get you involved with his duties. there’s too much on the line and he can’t risk you getting hurt, also another reason why he prefers to keep you on the down low or for him to only visit you.

❥ also another thought, but i just keep imagining zack flirting with you or meeting you and thinking you’re absolutely GORGEOUS ( because if you’re related to sephiroth.. you gotta be pretty let’s be honest that mans so beautiful ) ( we don’t talk about hojo though, there’s no way he’s related to seph. vincent gotta be the daddy ), but then once he sees that sephiroth is your brother he literally goes WHITE. starts trying to subtly be more friendly and lowkey apologize for his behavior.. spoiler alert; zack is not subtle.

❥ now whatever you do.. don’t imagine sephiroth meeting you the day before heading out to nibelheim. whatever you don’t, think imagine you guys walking at night as he talks about how worried he is for his friends, and how he thinks zack is going to do. and whatever you do, don’t imagine reminiscing after the village burns down, your mind trailing back to the last hug he gave you before he found out what he really was.

❥ if you were to still stay with post nibelheim sephiroth, he wouldn’t let you out of his sight. he can’t lose you at all, not now— not now that he knows you’re the only thing he has left. he’ll go through the motions of being very cold to you sometimes and then being very overprotective

❥ he’d come home one day from only the lord knows where, and wake you up in the middle of the night. and when you finally awake, he wouldn’t let you go. i imagine he’d feel conflicted. sephiroth was dehumanized from birth and ostracized from a normal life as he never met his true mother lucrecia and hojo had no interest in claiming him other than for his own benefit as a scientist. if you were dealt with such things as well, or maybe you were separated because sephiroth was the superior experiment, it wouldn’t matter; sephiroth contained these feelings that he didn’t know how to feel or express himself about.

❥ he wouldn’t understand why he felt this way, especially having no sort of concept of family brought to him within the early years of his life, but all he knows is that he has you

❥ he only has you— and he’s not willing to risk losing you anytime soon.

[tizeline]

I’ve never seen a separated au with Leo being raised by big mama, what do you think that would be like? (Since he’s kinda rebellious)

For the record, there are AUs where Leo's been raised by Big Mama, the ones I know of are Gemini AU by tangledinink and True Colors AU by v-albion. I'm not super familiar with either of them, but they're there if you wanna check them out.

That being said-

LEO being raised by BIG MAMA omg I have THOUGHTS

Listen, I don't see enough people compare Leo to Big Mama, but he's quite similar to her. Splinter and BM never got a kid together, BUT IF THEY DID that kid would literally be Leo he's basically just a fusion of the two of them!!

As I've mentioned several times before because I love bringing it up, Leo is strategic, quick-witted, observant and good at talking. In the show (as well as in my own AU) Leo's strengths aren't really recognized, let alone aknowledged for a big portion of the story. Because of that, for a long time he doesn't really get the chance to develop these skills, as much potential Leo has to become a master planner his impulsiveness and inexperience has a tendency to get him into trouble.

BUT! All of these skills also happen to be skills that Big Mama has and would value in Leo. So if he were to actually have to opportunity to not only be raised by BM but also trained by her for his entire life. If he got to properly learn strategy, planning, manipulation...?

... Holy shit Leo would be terrifying.

Think about it, canon!Leo managed to out-smart BM in Many Unhappy Returns without any real experience, just imagine what he could do with a whole life-time of training.... yikes!

Not sure what exactly Big Mama and Leo's relationship would look like. In my opinion she would view him as her son and love him dearly, especially if she knew that he's Splinter's biological son.... it's just that BM has interesting ways of showing affection. ("The love of my life just proposed to me?? Great! I'm gonna lock him up in my gladiator fighting ring for the rest of eternity!") She'd at the very least be quite controlling, I imagine.

As you pointed out, Leo can be quite rebellious, so that mixed with Big Mama's obsessive need to be in complete control of everyone around her would certainly cause some tension. Actually... considering how clever Leo would be in this AU... uh oh.

All of these qualities that BM initially appreciated and encouraged in Leo, what if, as Leo became more and more capable, Big Mama started to eventually view them in a more negative light? If she feels like she's loosing control over Leo, if she interprets Leo's rebellion as not just a normal teenage need for independence but rather him malicously working against her. What if she starts viewing him not as an asset or as a tool, but rather a threat?

If BM has reason to believe that Leo might try to overthrow her and take control over her criminal empire, she might take preemptive action and get rid of him before he has the chance to get rid of her.... Not like murder-get-rid-of, I don't think she'd just kill him, lol! But like lock him up, maybe throw him into the Battle Nexus, I dunno. Anything that would allow her to remain in control of both him and her business.

As for Leo, maybe he would actually try to overthrow BM. Considering he was raised by a literal mafia boss, his moral compass is gonna be a bit wack. Maybe Leo's desire for control over himself would cause him to try to seize control over his mother's business. Oooooorrrrr maybe Leo just wants some independance but doesn't actually want to compete with BM, so when she interprets his actions and behavior as malicious he's not prepared for that at all and, as a result, is more than a little hurt that his own mother would take such extreme actions against him. Who knows?

Hhhhhhh there's a lot of fun posibilities here but MAN I'm not really in the mood to work on an entirely new AU. Maybe I'll create some art for it I dunno, this concept is really fun, but I'm not gonna turn this into a proper Thing, so if anyone else wanna steal this concept and explore it for themselves, feel more than free to do that!

[ganondoodle]

actively fighting a full blown panic attack born out of sadness and anger after having to drive by yet another victim on the side of the road

it makes me livid how accepted it is to just let cats suffer and die disgustingly horrid deaths and live awful short lives just so what, for what?? so you dont have to play with them for an hour a day??? when i was little it was just kinda normal that they disappeared at some point, i didnt understand what it actually meant until our outdoor cat i loved dearly was found in the bushes near our house in a condition so horrible my dad has never told me and i have never dared to ask, she only made it to 6 and had horrible scars and infections before that i allowed my family to convince me to let my first own cat outside, we only had her for a year, she died at only 2 years old, i am still suffering from the guilt, it has never let me go, she went missing for a week and i walked the entire vilage up and down every day, yelling her name, wandering into the forest alone, talking to every stranger i met until one morning my mom told me that our neighbour who works for the city asked if we had a white cat with a very specific collar she had- he found her on a busy road crossing in the next bigger city, i never even got to bury her, its haunting me, the thought of her wandering lost and scared in the city for a week until meeting an awful end gives me headaches, the fact that i was the last one to see her alive, that i put her outside bc we were late for school and had to leave quickly, that she had come home with oil in her fur from crawling through maschines and cars before, that i was worried but still didnt act, that it is my fault, any time i am up to late its coming back, it will never let me go, if i had stood my ground and not allow her outside unless on a leash or similar shed still be alive today, any time i read a description at our local shelter it comes back, they still advocate for outside cats, all of them, even if they have only been an indoor one before, its madness my older sister had a cat, i dont even know how old he got but it wasnt long either, he got hit by a car in front of their house, she has two now again and the only reason she hasnt let them outside is because they havent shown much interest in it, i tried to warn her before and she didnt listen and shes still resistent, even after losing one too

i have seen so many on the side of the road, anywhere i drive i see them, i cannot forget a single one, we are surrounded by farm land and all its giant maschinery, its still common to poison rodents, why do people value them so little, you wouldnt let your dog just live outside in the woods and streets for half the day or more, you wouldnt just throw your guniea pigs on the road and tell them have fun, you wouldnt just let your bird roam outside, there probably assholes that do that too but you cannot tell me its as common as outside cats

i dont understand it, i dont, i wont, i never will, i will never forgive myself this poor little animal that was my responsibility having to pay the price of my ignorance, or my own weakness letting my family convince me despite the awful way we lost one before, it makes me want to explode it hurts my brain in grief and anger i can barely contain

cats deserve to live a safe and long life, i get only having them inside may feel like you are locking them up, but do you think that not doing so is worth having them die a painful death? being poisonend? on purpose even by disgusting people that hate them? abused and chased by other animals and dogs? hurt and lost? cutting their lifespan in half? if they even make it that far? the amount of wildlife that they kill unnecessarily so when all of that is already in a steep decline everywhere? and if they eat what they hunt get infected with diseases or again, poison? die somewhere in agony? if cared for they dont care about going outside, plenty can be leash trained or given a secure way to roam like those cat proof aviary like things, if you dont want to put effort into caring for a cat DONT GET ONE, ALL pets require adequate care, and if you think cats are the easiest bc you only have to feed them every now and then IF they come home? you suck, you are an asshole, i hate you and you do not care about them, if you just want to occasionalyl feed and pet an animal go to the petting zoo

(this is about pet cats of people who can absolutely afford to keep them healthily inside, i know feral cats and those in poor neighbourhoods are a thing, even if not here where i live, and thats a whole other but still similar problem and not the point of this post)

[ezziefae]

My thoughts on The Prisoner's Throne.

(spoilers ahead, and talk about Holly Black's planned book)

ps: I finished this book in one sitting on release day and needed days to process everything, that's why this is a late post. Enjoy!!!!

Heather and Vivi

Where were Heather and Vivi? They were present in the prologue but then they vanished. I was excited to see Vivi become friends with Wren, especially after the rude comments she made towards Wren in TQON. I wonder why Holly excluded them from everything after the prologue, such as the family drama scene at the feast. However, I appreciated how they were mentioned in the story, particularly when we learned that Oak and Heather's mom are close, and that Oak would sleep at their house.

Oak abdicating as heir

So yeah, Jude and Cardan have given Oak permission to resign from the throne as heir, and obviously Oak is taking that opportunity to do just that, just not yet….he has to stay heir for months since Jude and Cardan are going away together. I always knew Jude and Cardan were going to stay as High King and Queen of Elfhame, but only because Oak married Wren and therefore became King of the Ice Needle Citadel, but that didn't happen…Jude is letting him step down because she knows he's grown, and wants him to make his own choices, which is great. If Oak resigns, Jude and Cardan will need to have a child to maintain the royal lineage. So, it's VERY possible that we may see a Jurdan baby in the future.

political problem (Holly Black's next faerie book)

So finally we know what the next book will be about. We know that Jude and Cardan have plans to go to the Undersea. That was the plan Holly Black has been teasing at us for a long time now. This means we’re getting another Elfhame book (Holly didn't say an "Undersea book", she said "Elfhame" even though it's going to be set in the Undersea). In an interview online, Holly Black states that this book will possibly be a stand-alone. Many fans are speculating that this book is going to be a Nicasia POV, but from reading the interviews from Holly I believe it’s going to be either a Jude or Cardan POV (maybe even both). This would make sense since Holly has said many times that she's planning to give us more Jurdan, and that Jude still has a lot of story in her. The Prisoner's Throne leaves us with many unanswered questions, such as what happens to the Ghost, if Oak gets married, news about Wren and her family, and whether Jude and Cardan have children. A standalone book to wrap up these loose ends would be very needed.

Cardan saving and being protective of Jude

Do you guys remember the post I made about Cardan fighting alongside Jude? and how he will not sit on the sidelines to watch her fight? Fans who know Cardan well already knew this to be true, but this book further proved this. This isn’t the first time has Cardan stepped in front of Jude to save her from being impaled. My man sacrificed himself so Jude wouldn't get hurt. Many times during the Stolen Heir duology Cardan has been called a coward, but mannn he's no coward, he will protect those he loves dearly, it was so refreshing to get more of his protective side in this book.

Taryn and The ghost

Since TQON, fans have been speculating that Garrett and Taryn are involved in a romantic relationship. Although it wasn't confirmed in the book, The Prisoner's Throne offered some insight into this. We find out that Heather, Vivi, and Oak have all speculated about it. Furthermore, Oak reveals that even after 10 years, The Ghost has remained close to Taryn and her child Leander. In one chapter of TPT, The Ghost has a serious conversation with Oak, but when Leander interrupts them, Oak notices that The Ghost becomes a different person around Taryn's son. He changes his behavior and has an indulgent smile towards the boy. I personally find it adorable, and after all the hardships The Ghost has been through, I believe he deserves to find happiness, even if it's with Taryn of all people.

The Ghost’s tragedy *sobs into pillow*

I never expected The Ghost to become such a prominent character in the book. It was amazing how I started to develop an emotional attachment to the Ghost throughout the book, only for him to end up turning into a tree by the end. The chapter where the family feasts and Lady Elaine and the Ghost are found dead was pure chaos and full of royal family drama. I had such a good time reading that part, until the Ghost turned into a tree. Also, going back to the topic of the Ghost and Taryn, I feel bad for Taryn even though I know she is a terrible character. It was heartbreaking to see Taryn sob and hold the Ghost while he was slowly dying (We didn't get word from Taryn that they were dating but I think that part was enough comfirmation that they were indeed lovers). As far as we know, Taryn and the Ghost did not get a happy ending in this book :(

ps: This is why I believe holly black's next book will be a Jurdan POV, because the only way we get to know about the ghost is through them. Nicasia is not close to Wren, Oak, the Ghost, or Taryn, we will never get insight on what happens to them if this next book is a Nicasia POV. Also I've been hearing as of 3/12/24 that Holly might possibly write a Jurdan dual POV, so...more reason to believe that it will definitely not be a Nicasia POV.

Taryn Vs Wren

It's funny how Holly decided to create a lot of family issues in the second book of the duology. Many fans believe that this duology should have been a three-part series to resolve these issues. One major problem is that Taryn dislikes Wren and holds her responsible for what happened to The Ghost. Oak's family is also not very fond of Wren. It would have been nice to see a moment in the book where Oak's family and Wren could have worked together and gotten along, but that didn't happen. If Oak and Wren plan to get married, I hope that they can resolve these issues between them all.

Cardan VS Taryn

It shocked me that after 10 years of them being brother and sister in law, that they still don’t get along. I think Taryn was wrong to feel like she had to protect The Ghost from Cardan when he was only trying to help. In fact, it annoyed me a bit. While Cardan was respectful towards Taryn, he had every right to dislike her, unlike Taryn who had no reason to dislike Cardan. Moreover, I would like to mention the moment when they found the ghost almost dead and Cardan ignored Taryn and answered Jude instead, Cardan being petty to Taryn in the most respectful way is hilarious. I think that moment perfectly sums up their relationship.

Wren’s Family

Although I’m happy Wren's sister Bex reunited with Wren, I was very much expecting to get more closure from that, like seeing Wren's entire family together reunite in the book. It feels like that left a huge void at the end of the book.

Wren’s Transformation

Okay, that was absolutely shocking. Holly mentioned in one of her interviews that there would be a transformation in the book, and I guess that was it. Wren now has beautiful wings. Can someone please draw a picture of Wren with wings? Also, can you imagine what Oak and Wren's children would look like if they ever had any? Their child would have blue skin, hooves, and wings. That would be a very interesting looking child.

Wren VS Jurdan

Wren was so wrong for making Jude and Cardan appear weak in front of their court. While reading this part, I remember thinking 'Wren, please stop," I found this chapter fun to read, and seeing Jude and Cardan's reaction to Wren's power. It was interesting to see how Wren exposes Jude's geas and curse to almost the entire court, and how Cardan becomes overprotective of Jude while Wren was removing her curse. I love Cardan.

Where was Queen Annett?

Since the stolen heir, I believed that queen Annett was going to be a problem for Elfhame and Wren. As you may recall, Wren freed her prisoners, and I always believed Queen Annett would've punished Elfhame for it since Wren was with Elfhame's heir Oak. However, she did not appear in The Prisoner Throne at all. I wonder if Holly forgot to bring this issue up or if she has decided to address it in her upcoming faerie book. (Queen Annett is also pregnant, so I think she will definitely be brought up again)

Madoc's Character

I'm a bit disappointed. I was expecting a lot from Madoc in this book, but nothing happened, except the fact that Jude lifted his exile (temporarily?) It bothers me that she lifted his exile easily, does Jude not remember he caused many problems for them? Madoc is the reason why Cardan almost died, why Oak was put in danger, he's the reason why the royal family died, and why Orlagh was weakened. I at least expected that Jude lifting his exile would've caused political problems for her, since Madoc is a political criminal for Elfhame and the Undersea. I thought he would’ve at least made a big heroic or villainous move in The Prisoner's Throne, or found a way to at least redeem himself, but nope.

Oak and Wren's Ending

So…Oak does not become king of anything, which is shocking. Everyone believed that if he didn’t become the King of Elfhame he would at least rule the Ice Needle Citadel, which can still happen, since he did propose to Wren at the end of the book. But still, I find it unnecessary, I think that Wren should step down from being Queen, and run to the mortal world with Oak where they can live away from the royal duties. Oak has expressed many times he does not want to be king, but if he marries Wren he will be king, which doesn't seem satisfying to me. Wren never cared for power in The Stolen Heir, she only ever cared for love and her family, I think the ending felt incomplete and unfinished. A lot of stuff was built up from The Folk Of The Air series, and this duology was supposed to give us results, but it did not. Even Oak and Wren's love story felt rushed. I didn’t see much of a connection. It didn't give me much of what I felt when I read Jude and Cardan's love story (You guys are so welcome to disagree with me)

Jude and Oak

So if you read the book, you know how shocking Jude and Oak's relationship became. Especially that scene where they “duel” (And Jude was an absolute fucking badass in that scene) The way she tricked Hag and even Oak at first that she was going to trade Oak for Cardan. I was very impressed with Jude in this book, especially in this chapter where we see her ordering her archers, and her ripping her dress to be able to fight while she's all wet. Her dialogue was so badass: "What if I give you Oak's head instead of Cardan's" and even this quote "Well, then, what a wonderful opportunity for you to prove your loyalty and die for the High King." Chapter 23 (I was so gay for Jude in this chapter, she was so mommy material) Despite feeling a bit betrayed by Oak and believing that she had failed in protecting him, she still trusted him when it came to Wren.

Oak Vs Taryn

"For a moment, he thinks of going over there and dumping his red clover tea over his sister's head" (Chapter 19)

(Jaw was on the FLOOR when i read this) I think it really sucked that Oak's family never told him about this, and I understand that Oak had every right to feel so raged that his family hid his mother’s true killer from his knowledge. Oak and The Ghost have been close, we did get some insight of The Ghost going to the mortal world and train Oak with Magic. I really hope Oak and The ghost's issue gets resolved, but that can only happen when the ghost gets cured....I love family drama, and it shows.

Jurdan Kids

Going back to the topic at hand, Cardan and Jude have given Oak permission to abdicate, which leads me to believe that they are planning to have kids of their own. So far, there hasn't been any indication from Jurdan that they are against having children. Holly has given us insights into Jurdan taking care of Leander, which is incredibly heartwarming. For example, we find out that Cardan plays with Leander, and there's a part where Jude is in the mortal world with newborn Leander, and Oak remembers Jude playing with baby Leander with a toy, almost like she was playing with a cat. I think these are definite hints from Holly that Jurdan would make great parents. Holly did say that we would get an answer to Jude and Cardan possibly having kids in the Prisoner's Throne, and I believe this was it. I will definitely make a separate post on this.

Randalian

I'm so happy this man is dead, it was long overdue. This man annoyed the crap out of us since the folk of the air series (it’s crazy that Jude and Cardan never decided to remove him from the living council, he never saw eye to eye with Jude and disrespected them constantly)

Lady Asha apperance

It turns out that Lady Asha is still in the court. She was only mentioned once when Lady Elaine was speaking with her. At that moment, I became suspicious and believed that Lady Asha was also part of the conspirators.

Locke appearance

The dream Oak had with Locke as a fox was fun and interesting. Even though it was a dream, it was cool to hear Locke again and how he acknowledged being murdered by Taryn.

Taryn is aging...but not Jude

FINALLY, we have some information on this topic. Oak describes Jude as looking very young, and Taryn as aging. He offers two possible explanations for this: either Taryn has visited the mortal world too often as her years are catching up to her, or becoming a mother has exhausted her. For a long time since TFOTA series, fans have speculated that since Jude is the Queen of Elfhame, she will never age. And it looks like Holly seems to support this, especially since Oak finally wonders "if Jude is quite as mortal as she once was". I from now on have no doubt about it, i am a "Jude will never age as long as she's Queen of Elfhame" believer.

The Cardan and Oak problem

it turns out that it wasn’t a big deal, Oak had been too much in his head, he was his own enemy when it came to Cardan, and it was amazing to see Cardan and Oak have a brotherly talk by the end of this book. Cardan’s character has really matured, and its amazing how comfortable he's become with his loved ones (i love him so much) I will admit, that when Cardan was talking to Oak about delaying his abdication of heir, I thought he was going to announce Jude’s pregnancy and you can't blame me, the way Holly wrote it made it sound like he was going to do that. (would’ve made me scream) but nope.

Summary:

The beginning was slow, but I nonetheless enjoyed it. I love Oak and Wren, however, I felt that they could have had a stronger connection in the story. There were too many unanswered questions left in the book, and it did not provide any closure to Oak and Wren's future. I feel that the series should have been a three-part book series instead of a duology. Moreover, many of the main characters seemed to have lost their power, such as Oak's resignation as heir to the throne, Wren losing her godly powers, and Tiernan being fired from his position as Oak's guard. I think many new readers who have never read the Folk of The Air series might not have appreciated that. Despite this, I appreciate that Jurdan was not removed from the Elfhame throne. However, I think that Holly Black set up more problems in this book than solutions, which makes it feel neglectful towards Oak and Wren's story. I am excited about this book, and I am sad that we may not get more news on Elfhame until possibly 2026, as she is currently working on the second book of The Book of Night. Anyways, In other news, I have a virtual event with Holly Black tonight 3/12/24, so I will write anything important down, and I will try to ask good questions!

[thatseitagremlin]

gremlyn's danganronpa: despair time x digimon au

born to draw / world is a fuck / blender em all / i am au man / 410,757,864,530 unfinished wips /ref

everyone in the image is in elementary school age. this started because i wanted to draw kid charles in a stupidly oversized lab coat and stupidly oversized square glasses and it spiraled into this (though the au itself has been in the works for far longer)

as usual, yapping about the au under cut! but there is a LOT of text down there holy Shit. allusions to Certain DRDT Character Development Spoilers; knowledge about digimon isn't necessary but will be helpful! :)

the au's bones / plot summary

ultimate titles and hope's peak academy do not exist in this universe. the tragedy never happened. everyone still has their respective talents, which helps some characters (e.g. min is a normal student living an average life) and hurts others

mai akasaki is this universe's first ever chosen child / digidestined. she encounters her partner digimon, makes all kinds of friends (everyone else in the pic except teruko) who she loves dearly (even if all of them drive her up the wall in their own unique ways), and eventually (high school age), all of them get isekai'd to the digital world!! they get to go on a fun adventure and improve as people and be closer friends!!!!!

until the part where mai dies an untimely, Brutal death during the final battle. which was Not Supposed To Happen. Whoops!

her death and the circumstances surrounding it cause her friend group to fracture, and most of them do not cope well at all.

i'll probably make a separate post for this, but tl;dr after the final battle; hu and ace initially stay in the digital world to clean up the final battle's aftermath, with differing outlooks on life -> charles has a breakdown + remembers his buried childhood memories, preventing him to function for a good while -> whit tries to take care of him just as he once did but his shitty coping mechanisms and refusal to acknowledge anything make the overall group disorder even worse -> david secludes himself in the digital world after a week of no contact -> xander tries looking for him and david avoids him. worst situationship in existence -> j and arei run away from their respective families and stay together. funniest situationship in existence -> arei realizes how fucked everyone is and is determined to honor mai's memory by keeping tabs on everyone and making sure her stupid friends will be alright

a few years after (depending on how old everyone actually is in canon— college age?), when things have somewhat settled and half of them (arei, j, ace, charles) have moved on, working for their futures, a message from mai's partner digimon is sent to everyone. it's something along the lines of "Bring* Teruko Tawaki to the Digital World and we'll revive** Mai"

*teruko would probably die in exchange

**they don't know and can't know in what form would mai Hypothetically come back in

teruko is just trying to survive with her scraggly cat who she definitely does not project onto. now she has to fend off a bunch of weirdoes with their own funny animals that are trying to?? kidnap her???????? her bad luck kicks in and an innocent stranger (eden) gets dragged into this mess too so she's morally obligated to let said innocent stranger get away as far as possible. (un?)fortunately, eden wants everyone to be happy, so she isn't leaving until teruko's safety is also guaranteed

teruko and eden get front seats to mai's friends having too many internal conflicts and moral crises about potentially sacrificing an uninvolved stranger's life to bring their friend back

i have no idea how this ends. i just want to do some Character Building (bullying my blorbos)

digimon & crest assignments (major characters)

people who at least know of digimon adventure will now notice that all of the digimon here are the baby forms of partners relevant in digimon adventure continuity. it is very much intentional! ^w^

in this universe, digimon partners are "reflections of their human partner's souls", and can be roughly categorized into three groups: those who resemble their human, those who resemble their human's ideal self, and those who are direct manifestations of their human's problems

it is indeed possible for one to project onto their digimon

everyone meets their digimon partners during childhood. since the digimon hatch and grow up in the "real world", they take a while to evolve, and seem to change along with their humans

also this is where i put the disclaimer. i use jp terms and names 95% of the time soryr if you grew up with the dub :pensive:

hu: puroromon -> morphomon, crest of love. happy little butterfly :> butterflies represent change and rebirth, but hu's partner can't evolve like everyone else's partners even after their adventure? even after all these years, morphomon is still stuck in her child stage? how strange...

(morphomon evolves to hudiemon in arc 2 after hu finally accepts that things have changed irreversibly and she has to move on from the past, too)

ace: tokomon -> patamon, crest of courage. the direct manifestation of ace's fears, fate has seen it fit to give him exposure therapy by making patamon a snappy little dog that evolves to a horse (unimon).

(patamon -> unimon -> manticoremon -> kentaurosmon? i can't decide the final stage quite yet, but since his character substansially grows in arc 1, he unlocks said final stage before the end of arc 1)

david: tsunomon -> gabumon, crest of hope. i had to give xanvid agumon and gabumon because... You Know. whatever they're having good luck with that shit! gabumon's thing about being a reptile that wears a beast's fur coat to seem tougher is a. masking thing. i think. gabumon also could behave like how david was as a child

(gabumon -> garurumon -> weregarurumon -> cresgarurumon. yellow. cresgarurumon is unlocked during the final battle but can't be accessed again until after david and xander finally have a successful mutually civil conversation)

xander: koromon -> agumon, crest of light. protagonist energy. agumon is like a second xander and they constantly enable each other

(agumon -> greymon -> metalgreymon -> blitzgreymon. red. blitzgreymon is unlocked during the final battle but can't be accessed again until after david and xander finally have a successful mutually civil conversation)

good place to mention that i could swap david and xander's crests (david light / xander hope) and it'd still work. i personally interpret light as living and valuing life, even with the destinies and purposes one is burdened with, and that's why i gave it to the man with the definition of survivor's guilt hidden in his bio. also haha david "dubious protag" chiem and the funny h word. i would need to blender these two longer to pin down their crests once and for all but i'm leaning towards david hope / xander light for now

j: mochimon -> tentomon, crest of integrity / reliability. the juxtaposition of cute, squishy mochimon vs a ladybug that emits ELECTRICITY that evolves to even COOLER and SCARIER bugs!? tentomon is also more sympathetic than j to contrast them being the most judgmental person in this cast

(tentomon -> kabuterimon -> atlurkabuterimon blue -> rhinokabuterimon. unlocked before the end of arc 1 when j starts being more understanding of others without renouncing their own moral compass)

arei: pyocomon -> piyomon, crest of friendship. piyomon used to be the snappier, harsher one to protect arei from her sisters, but as they grew up, it's almost like their personalities reversed somehow...?

(piyomon -> cockatrimon -> delumon -> griffomon. the only stage that can fly is griffomon. unlocked before the end of arc 1 after arei's ch2e13 speech)

charles: tanemon -> palmon, crest of knowledge. plant baby that i jokingly call "charles jr" in my notes, just because the thought of palmon being charles' lab assistant and wearing goggles + labcoat was really cute...

(palmon -> sunflowmon -> toropiamon -> hydramon. poisonous guys. probably unlocked before the end of arc 1? i'm still figuring out how charles' arc would work if he grew up with whit, because on one hand a friend would help him, but on the other said friend is Whit Young and all the backstory involved with him)

whit: pukamon -> gomamon, crest of sincerity / purity. gomamon is more responsible than her partner though she's still pretty chill. i want to make her behave like whit's (idealization and idolization of his) mom, but it's probably gonna take like 5 years until he says anything more about her

(gomamon -> rukamon -> piccolomon? -> marinangemon. piccolomon was the best link i could figure out between a dolphin and a holy-adjacent sea angel. also this man is NOT getting marinangemon until late arc 2 at least. he needs the entire party to talk sense to him)

mai: nyaromon -> tailmon, crest of miracles. for Plot Reasons tailmon is silly!monotv. goofy and self-deprecating and makes shitty jokes. disappeared after mai's death and returns after a timeskip to implore mai's friends to bring it teruko tawaki

(tailmon -> kabukimon -> ofanimon. it's a lucky coincidence that kabukimon happens to be a tailmon armor evo. final stage unlocked during the final battle)

teruko: nyaromon. it looks like one at least. it's totally a nyaromon guys it's just like mai haha -> meicoomon, crest of fate. a scared kitty :( the manifestation of what remains of teruko's wish to have friends and trust others. meicoomon also appears to drive other digimon berserk just by being near them for long periods of time; a variation of teruko's bad luck, and the reason why these two are basically bound to each other. since teruko's bad luck hurts other people and meicoomon's "bad luck" hurts other digimon

(meicoomon -> meicrackmon vicious mode -> raguelmon. you know. probably a late evolver?)

eden: petitmeramon -> solarmon, crest of kindness. she isn't here but she's the most important character who i didn't draw. Sorry Eden. but solarmon is also like a second eden and they constantly enable each other

(solarmon -> clockmon. it's not that eden isn't getting development, it's just that i need clockmon to be plot relevant and i don't know what the two stages after could possibly be.)

digimon assignments (minor characters)

everyone in this part is irrelevant to the larger plot but i didn't wanna completely leave them out, esp since thinking of their hopes peak-less backstories could be really fun!!

however i have No Idea about what digimon most of these evolve to aside from like. canon stuff

min: minomon -> wormmon. bookworms :>

rose: budmon -> lalamon. silly plant thing :> they're -_- and :o buddies. evolves to togemon

nico: bowmon -> loogamon. as a nod to survive, i think loogamon is the one partner who can't talk in human language, but is very expressive? and nico quickly learns how their partner communicates and how to communicate with their partner

veronika: pagumon -> porcupamon. i had to give her the Spooky Bear Digimon there was no other way around it.

levi: tsumemon -> bemmon. ourple. generally the "unnatural" / unknown digimon tend to be purple, i just picked bemmon since it's probably getting a new evoline in liberators soon

arturo: puyoyomon -> jellymon. i had Absolutely Zero Idea for this guy and settled on Ghost Game's bastard of a jellymon because i want them to beef with each other

backstories and situations

mai is a perfectly normal girl with a loving family and many friends. her partner digimon isn't a "partner" in the same way everyone else's digimon are, but rather an individual (hence the monotv-like personality) who "chose" mai to be the hero of a predetermined story. a story that would end in its heroes becoming better people, having hope for the future

not all heroes succeed, though

charles and whit are childhood friends! yippee! they've been friends and stayed friends throughout most of their lives :) elliot and whit's mom still die, and charles still forgets about the former and possibly the latter :) i wonder where whit got those coping mechanisms from aha :D

i don't have concrete ideas for anyone else's backstory yet Sorry

the digimon partners could pass off as plushies in their baby forms but most of the cast probably had to spill the beans when they evolved to their child-sized forms forms

ryan keeps tempting j to unleash tentomon everytime paparazzi annoy them, to which the only thing stopping j from doing so is tentomon himself. elliot bullies palmon in the same way he bullies charles (affectionately). elizabeth treats gomamon like an actual dog and their neighbors think the young household has a dog who loves swimming a lot. patamon and agumon are popular with their partners' younger siblings. piyomon actually has successfully attacked arei's sisters

i think it'd be really funny if eden is popular enough in town to inexplicably at least know about the non-relevant characters + their digimon, no matter how unlikely. maybe classmates with min and rose, met nico in a cat cafe and stayed in contact, levi works nearby, saw arturo and jellymon argue in public

i'm not a shipper by any means, so i can't and won't write explicitly romantic relationships. but if it helps, my initial thoughts for relationships were queerplatonic charwhit, jarei situationship where neither of them know or care wtf they're doing, xanvid broken pedestals and breaking up in every way possible, and hu + ace... whatever you call "most divorced pair of people despite 1) never marrying and 2) one of them being a gay man". feel free to do your own spin on things though!

also little fun tidbit: the digimon's base colors (except teruko's nyaromon) are colorpicked from digimon world championship sprites just as a fun little challenge, and the color-coded lineart is meant to showcase that they're digital lifeforms physically existing in the real world

[honestsycrets]

brujería i: inhuman | ceo!miguel x succubus!reader

❛ pairing | ceo!miguel x succubus!reader

❛ type | doubleshot, explicit

❛ summary | since taking over his bio-father's company, miguel just can't seem to sleep. there may be someone behind that though. or, a succubus wants miguel.

❛ tags | some sacrilege, succubus!reader, ceo!miguel, sex-dreams, sleepy sex, dub!con: miguel is asleep during many encounters, exhibitionism outside of a church, f!reader, some mention of blood and wounds, au with deviations from canon, slight hurt miguel, slight caretaking peter, excessive bodily fluids, some mindgames.

❛ request fulfilled | Was wondering if i could request ceo!miguel x succubus! reader? whether he’s spider-man is completely up to you but reader is basically like a demon hiding in plain sight, toying and feeding on the sexual energy of people. maybe she’s a new hire and then she visits him in his dreams or smth. miguel becomes her target and he finds himself falling in love with her and wanting her so much it brings out an intense carnal desire inside him (1/2)

❛ sy's notes | i based some of miguel's sleep paralysis on my own experience. the catholic religious connotations are not very heavy, but if you're sensitive to that sort of thing, i'd probably skip this one.

Miguel O’Hara was never a superstitious man.

He grew up in a deeply Catholic home thick with superstition. His grandmother’s rosary still sat on his desk, enveloped in a spherical glass alongside stacks of organized paperwork on the latest drug his not-so-dearly held biological father left before he kicked it. Corruption was fiercely rooted, a fact that Miguel was not so subtle about. The papers he rifled through that morning revealed the stupidest account of Brujería among reports of Rapture.

“Brujería-- what bullshit,” he murmured as he dropped a stack of papers back onto the oak desk. He glanced at the glass tabletop and found his reflection therein. His eyes, crinkled at the edges, carried the reflection of countless days of his dark exhaustion. “Si no es una cosa es otra.”

“Miguel?”

“What, Lyla?” Miguel threw a glare at the ceiling at the AI that sang at him. She seemed far too happy with her position as the resident terror of his new office. New was an overstatement. It was his father’s before he croaked, reflected in some of his tacky taste in the things Miguel had immediately thrown out. Why else would it have a picturesque, but grandiose view of Nueva York but for a great view of the people he was destroying? The bright windows also did a bang-up job of burning his eyes

“The psychiatrist is here,” she chirped. “Are you going to tell her about your wet dreams?”

The flutters that danced over his skin at night at the strike of three. Foreign warmth caressed his skin like a warm blanket over his skin. His heart rate raced, and pleasure burrowed under his skin. It never failed that Miguel would wake to a rush of pleasure, cum painting his sheets sticky, his heart soaring into his throat. With such pleasure, why would he tell anyone but Lyla about his pathetic, ruined state that came night after night?

Miguel waved his hand in dismissal. He instead checked the chunky watch on his wrist. You're just on time. He appreciates a punctual professional given how much work he had to complete. In lieu of the report of spiritual abuse, he picks up the pile of sexual misconduct. That was a more pressing matter to address. The actual victims were far more important than some bruto’s complaint of ojos based on a huevo in some water. He should send these idiots to any middle schooler’s chemistry class. The bruja who was coming to visit him today could hardly be a source of concern.

“Why would I do that? Let her in. You listen in and I’ll unplug you.”

“You wouldn’t do that,” Lyla teased, but he knew she was right. Lyla was one of his only friends and by far the one he spent the most time with. She has patience for him. He slips his reading glasses out of their holster as the lock on his office door hisses apart, welcoming in the strange woman whose name he could never find but in Stone’s personal records. A chroí, my love, like Stone could love anyone else but himself.

“Dr. O’Hara.”

Miguel slipped the lenses on. Not only was the woman before him, not the sort of hippy-dippy woman he expected, but you were… familiar. Oh, so familiar. He’s never met you before. Yet, he finds himself inexplicably pulled to closing the gap between your bodies.

You extend your hand for him to take.

“Dr…” You finished his sentence by offering your name.

“Have I met you before?” His large hand clasped your own. A blanket of warmth blossomed from your small hand in his grip. Gentle at first, your very same small hands laced in his. The sudden realization of where he’d seen you hit him like a bullet through the head: unexpected and instantaneous. The image rippled across his mind, Miguel’s hand collared on your nape, his fat dick splitting your cunt against his office’s wide windows. Another pulse of heat soared through his hand--

Miguel jerked his hand back. What in the hell?

“¿Estás bien?” You were so close that he could smell the perfume on your skin. A dark cherry, sultry, and so good. He was swimming in the vague delusion that was your skin against his. There was something delicious about the way you looked at him, tracing the outline of his tie that sat tightly behind a constricting vest. He was hazy, clumsily falling back into his office chair. Moving was tiring with the sudden vial of desire that flooded through his veins. You were at his side in an instant.

“I’m fine,” he lied. “It’s… the heat.”

“Oh! Stone's office is always hot. Here, I'll help you,” No-- he tried to argue. Against his wishes, you slipped his suit jacket off his shoulders and down his muscular arms, loitering a bit too long along his pumped biceps. “Though, I guess it’s all yours now, isn’t it? We all are.”

Miguel has no energy to fight you, lost in the haze that was last night’s forgotten dream. He’d never met you before, that much he was sure. Yet he swore, on all that was scientific and right, that he dreamed of your body on his, emptying him of any worries as he came into the nothingness of his sheets. It wasn’t just pleasure, it was a sea of rapture, and he drowned in it.

“According to your AI, you’re burning up lately.”

How do you know? You walked around his chair, your slender heels clicking over the hardwood floor. His eyes traced the curves of your velvet red pencil dress up to your bust as you leaned in, the back of your hand taking his temperature on his forehead. Your bust had delicate black lace detailing that enhanced your natural beauty. It scorched his ability to be a decent gentleman. Every man had their limits. He’s nearly at his, and you’ve only just arrived.

“You're so warm,” you gasped, but it's strained, a crack through stained glass. “Let me help you.”

You reached for the knot of his tie. That’s enough-- Miguel shoves your hand from his neck. He tugs the charcoal tie away from his throat, drawing it away from his white button-up. You wet your lips, drawing a sheen across your perfectly applied lipstick. You came in here with a plan and purpose to inflame him-- and did just that.

“Careful.”

A pause-- your eyes challenged him, seemed to know how weak he was in resisting the strain of lust that came with your mere presence. He was losing the fight quicker than he’d like. Miguel has to focus. “Your findings on Rapture’s… trial run. Where are they?”

“Destroyed,” you answered curtly.

"Project 2099?"

“Under seal. Oh, don’t look at me like that, hermoso. It wasn’t my choice.”

Hermoso. A flicker of anger shot through him as you reclined on his desk and ran your hands across the rim. You seem to notice the rosary on his desk, eyes lingering on it for more than a few seconds. You dipped so comfortably between propriety and looseness. The distance between your easily accessible skirt and his hardening erection is the entirety of only a few steps. “Stone’s orders, not mine.”

“There are no copies?”

“Why would there be? Stone was always very persistent with what he wanted.”

You? He doesn’t ask.

Something in him doesn’t want to think of it, what his father could have done to you that would make you so willing to stand so close to him. Your gaze faltered. You bore at his groin, his sleek dark slacks straining against his length.

“Now you want to know if I fucked him, que no?”

That's a yes. The way you slip onto his desk, legs slightly apart, tells him all he needs to know. His gaze falters, down then up again, an irrational amount of envy welling low in his belly. He found himself wondering what you’ve done in this very room. You bat your long lashes, far too pretty. He isn't easily dissuaded.

“I've barely met you and you want to know everything about my work and personal life. You’re so greedy. So like him.”

“I am nothing like that man.” At that very moment, his eyes locked with yours. A distant rage filled his belly. No one, he meant no one, compared him with that maniac. His tongue twisted in his mouth, ready to make some sharp remark, but you snatched his words by leaning forward, pressing your lips to his head. Your fingertips combed through his dark hair, a warm comfort. A kiss? His hands felt heavy, weighed down by an impossible weight, one he couldn’t push off no matter how much he strained.

"Hasta luego, Miguel.”

The door closes behind you with a clap. Back in the chair, Miguel was heaving heavy breaths. The restriction on his body loosened up and allowed Miguel to grab the black mirror stashed in a drawer below his desk. Your sticky lipstick left a stain on his forehead, strained with stress lines. He wiped away the red stain of your lipstick and rolled the remnants between his thumb and middle finger.

"Like Stone," he repeated with a hiss. "Mierda."

He wracked his hand around his swollen cock-- panting as he beat himself off, ecstasy claiming that he had to have you. The insatiable need to have -- his father’s whore-- overrode any of the papers on his desk. He came into the cold nothingness that is the air, his hands coated in his own essence. Miguel untucked a handkerchief from his breast pocket and wiped himself clean.

“Lyla? Who?” he gasped a breath, “Who is that woman?”

“Beats me,” Lyla thought she was so funny. “She’s not in any electronic records.”

“Really.”

Even if that was the case, Miguel would be damned if Stone got the better of him in death. Miguel cleaned up his hand and whirled open the sexual harassment folder-- he was nothing if not a determined man.

You shouldn’t be here. No, really, you should not be employed here.

He doesn’t know your qualifications because he cannot find them. In the electronic documents, your file is bare bones. The suggestion of your education is non-verifiable but signed off by Stone himself. If it were only him, he might chalk it up to corruption. But there were others-- other dead bodies-- who signed off on your highly amended report on Rapture. The board claimed your employment was not a subject for discussion. Even if he were the face of the company, you were untouchable.

He left his office to the small coffee shop on the third floor. The man who ran it, Peter, was a refreshment from the stress of the day in his own, weird little way. It was probably the high quantity of caffeine that kept him awake.

On the surface, Miguel’s dreams are unoffensive. Light things, like fingers brushing veins that creep along his muscles, soapy breasts dragging along his chest. Using your body like a sponge to clean him after a heavy session at the gym. You are always on your knees, suckling the cum free from his cock with an angelic little flutter of your lashes and those sultry, cat-like eyes. He was in a state of constant arousal with nothing to show for it but a consistently swollen dick. At his age, he considers it a feat.

“You’re so sexy, Peter.”

There it was again. Your giggle over top of the sound of the hiss of a coffee machine. Peter was laughing, shy, or uncomfortable, he couldn’t quite tell. Miguel slips off his wire sunglasses, looking along the bar for the source.

“Hey, Miguel!”

He paced around the corner, then back. There are a few work couples and colleagues speaking with one another. Their tables are fresh with coffee and tea, tiny wrapped sandwiches a poor lunch. You’re conspicuously absent. The lack of sleep was fucking with his head, it had to be. He settled the glasses into the lining of his suit pocket and withdrew his wallet.

“Miguel! You'll never guess who came by. Uh, the usual?” Peter bounced over, leaning over the cash register with a glitter in his eye. He was more upbeat than even usual. Some girl must have made his day, he decided. Sí, he rumbled. Miguel dipped his fingers into his wallet to pull out his card only to be stopped short of the action.

“Nope,” Peter pushed Miguel’s hand away. “Someone paid for you.”

“For me?” Miguel settled the card in its proper slot. “Who?”

“You know,” Peter whispers. "The bruja."

“She was here?” he repeated, following Peter across the side of the bar as he began to make his coffee. Peter is an airhead, a wonderful airhead. Some part of him is infectious on days when he’s not being stalked by a woman with no traceable name. It was as if you were wiped clean. “When?”

“About two hours ago? She said you looked spooked and left me some money for your coffee. I think she likes you.”

You were doing more than liking him.

“And why would you think that?” Miguel pulled out a chair at the bar, humoring the scrawnier man. Peter frothed some milk, a fluffy cloud of relaxation on top of his usual coffee dusted with cinnamon and nutmeg. Miguel takes the mug from Peter, wrinkling his nose at the addition of nutmeg.

“Well, she turned down some dude from marketing,” Peter mentions. “I've been here for a while and-- she rarely turns anyone down.”

You rarely turn anyone down?

It bothered him long after he finished the coffee. You’re so sexy, Peter. You weren’t there. Peter told him that you’d been gone for two hours. He should not have heard the wisps of your caramelized voice in the coffee shop.

It’s the exhaustion, Miguel convinced himself. He just needs the weekend, to rest.

By Saturday night, he hit his last nerve.

Restful sleep would not come. He lay in his large, empty king-sized bed after searching through files for another project that had no other name but 2099 for the entirety of ten long hours. Any information-- redacted-- but your name slapped over the top and bottom of countless documents was like a great, big fuck-you O'Hara. The more he read about you, the angrier he became. You enraged him, but he was positively enthralled with your presence.

He lay in bed listening to should-be soothing jazz that now grated his ear. Night after night, his torment never failed. When he finally found an instance of peace, his muscles locked up. Not quite awake, but not quite asleep. Heavy pressure overtook his chest and arms forced him to remain still. The world fazed in and out, doom on beating alarm bells in the back of his mind. Then he felt it, the phantom pressure on his neck that slid over his tawny skin, from his belly to the dark happy trail that dipped below his silky pants.

Miguel gritted his teeth and ripped himself from his trance. When his eyes popped apart, he was greeted by his shock. Hunger flowed through him in warm waves, piercing underneath his skin. Miguel’s fingers twinged, your phantom figure on top of him. It looked like you, but misty, as though an illusion. In the darkness, he can only make out the shadows that bounce off what little light is in the room.

“Motherfucker--”

Though he said that, your teasing fingers freed him from his cozy pants, ripping them around his hirsute thighs. His length lulls against his body, a shameful drool of cum gathered at his cock. A night of phantom touches has done him in. Miguel lurched back onto his flat pillows when he was abruptly shoved down by an outrageous amount of force. With his arms thrown up by his head-- he whimpered, frustrated with tonight's-- dream, delusion, dare he say-- reality. His joints were locked by invincible chains that forced him to stay in place. The more he fought, the hotter his need became for what came next. His body was pitifully trained.

He wasn’t certain that it was you-- but it smelled so deeply of your perfume, rich and cherry, flooding his nostrils. So familiar. He glanced down at the opaque figure, grinding over his hard cock. A pair of hands crashed onto his shoulder, claws curling into his broad shoulders. Blood seeped forth. A growl gathered in his chest, ripping up when something warm and tight sunk down on his bobbing dick. Miguel gritted his teeth: it had been a long time since he’d been with anyone. Not for a lack of viable partners, but his annoyance with them all.

Despite his immense muscle, he was too weak to do anything about it. Even if he could, what would he do? Throw off the sex-crazed hallucination on his dick? You rolled your hips over him, suckling him right back up. Hypnotized by the smoky illusion, Miguel gazed on begrudgingly, grunting as you rolled over him, his dick straining your insides. He was a toy, nothing more and nothing less, used for his fat cock that split your airy body apart. His hips jerked, frustrated as he found he could go no deeper. You punished him by dragging your claws over his swarthy shoulders, over his collarbones. Blood ripped free, sliding down his deltoids.

“Chingado,” Miguel’s lips parted for the word, hips juddering up like a hungry slut. It wasn’t normal, the warm tickle of your lubricant over his shaft, exquisite in its nature. His heels dug into the bed, balls tightened. He was so damn close to his relief, he could taste it on his tongue, bordering somewhere between immense pleasure and decadent pain. Your need for his pain won out, dipping down over his chest and latching your fangs over his chest-- then up, hooking on the front of his throat. It was going to bruise, badly.

You shook loose his orgasm, ripped free with the need to fill you, own you-- as though he were not the one being owned. His hips staggered, sticky whips of cum coating your walls in waves. More than he’d cum before before. His eyes shut hard, tears pricking the sides of his eyes. Then, as if it never happened, the hold on his hands was released. He struggled with his freedom, his hands slack, softening cock worthlessly weeping over his thigh. The pain-- oh, the pain, it washed over him moments later.

“Woah,” Lyla interrupted, “Miguel! What happened?”

She couldn’t see you. His eyes were like two dark coins, staring up at the ceiling, wide, and unseeing. He can hear her frantic questions, the ligature marks left behind from invincible chains, and the all-too-real blood and bruising that left him utterly ruined.

“It,” he choked out, heat biting at his well-chiseled face. “It hurts.”

He doesn’t remember what comes next. It was five in the morning when he finally rolled out of bed, and onto the floor, gripping the growing headache that grew miserably behind his head. Bitterness bubbled in his stomach, exhaustion in his eyes. The aberration that was his poor sleep was irksome more than anything. He felt someone’s eyes on him, soft and worried, rushing to his aid as though he were an old man who fell off a bed.

“Hey, you’re awake,” Peter said with an undercurrent of concern soaring through his words. “No, wait. I got you.”

He helped him sit against the frame of his bed, a frame that looks small as shit with Miguel’s large body against the frame. He’s unsure of what to say, assuming that Lyla called him in desperation, and let him into the house that Peter most definitely did not have a key to. Miguel’s chest ached. “What happened? Are you… are you okay?”

Everyone seems to ask him that lately.

“I’m fine,” he was alien to the feeling of care. He knew when Miguel dug himself into a hole. Miguel didn’t want to think about what happened only a few hours prior when his exhaustion took over his body and knocked him out. He dreamed of nothing. An abyss of unsettled nothingness, the ache low in his belly to fuck you until you were soaked in his cum and Miguel could finally, finally rest his tired eyes. Miguel pulled on a fluffy white robe Peter supplied, dragging it over thick strips of gauze and medical tape.

“You don't look fine.”

They both know he’s lying, but what else could be said? That the state Peter saved Miguel from was a rarity? That he’s used to being preyed upon by his own delusions? He needs a fuck, maybe that’s it.

“If you’re going to stay, be useful and get me that file.”

“Oh-- okay, this one?” he doesn’t look surprised. He padded across his room to his desk, kicked a chair that was falling apart aside, and picked up the folder on Brujería. It was buried behind more useful folders such as sexual harassment and inter-employee workplace violence. A fact that Miguel wasn’t exactly proud about in the first place.

“Brujería? Like witch stuff, right? No way. You think work is haunted too?” Peter says with a choked-out, nearly forced laugh. Miguel doesn’t pay himself enough for this. Of all the files at hand, it was nearly untouched. It included such things as ancestors, spirits, demons, and curses.

“I don’t. But the workers obviously do.”

Peter was soft and kind, but not stupid. He plopped down next to him and crossed his legs one over the other.

“The ones that say she’s a bruja?” Peter tapped on your photo. Your photo offers emptiness. That though you have a bright smile in the photo, it is undoubtedly fake. He never saw a woman look so innocent and sweet, but dangerous.

“You’ve heard?”

“Well, the men she hangs around always end up dead. They get all successful and rich then, bam, dead. But you can’t believe that right?” Peter reasons. “She’s not cursed, she just has bad luck. She’s always been nice to me.”

“A curse?”

“Yeah,” his warm breath wavers into a sigh. “Stone wanted company, found her in Sacred Heart-- you know, the one they say is cursed?”

“A cursed church? Give me a break. The only curse at Sacred Heart are the exploitive priests.”

“I’m just saying what I heard,” he’s whispering, shivers wracking up his arms at the mere mention. He tries not to push him anymore. Peter stood up and walked to the coffee stand in the corner of his dark room. For the days that he couldn’t be bothered to leave his room, he’d make a hot coffee in the corner and keep working just as he always did. “She’s always been nice to me.”

“Maybe you’re not her taste.”

“Yeah well, probably not. I don't look like you-- but she did call me sexy, so that's something right?” Peter laughed, “Want a cup of coffee?”

Sexy. That's it, he's so fucking sick of this shit.

“No, I don’t want a cup of fucking coffee,” Miguel bit back, shoving the bed several inches as he pushed his hand off of it, storming into his walk-in closet. “Lyla. When is mass at Sacred Heart?”

“Sacred Heart?” Lyla laughed. “You’re kidding--”

“Lyla,” he snarled, chucking his bag across the closet. It connected with his tall, black safe with a loud boom. She was quiet for a moment, undoubtedly momentary confusion for why non-believer Miguel O’Hara wanted to go to, of all things, a Catholic mass.

“6:30,” she answers.

“I’ll go with you,” Peter calls out.

Don’t bother, Miguel returns from the next room.

It’s been a long time since he dressed for mass-- some dark brown slacks and a warm, vanilla button-up. He snaps a chain necklace around his thick, bruised throat and his favorite watch. As he grabbed the manilla folder on brujería he felt like a child, lectured by his grandmother to not be like his bad man-loving, alcoholic mother and go to church. Despite very much not believing in any of this shit, it was frustrating, annoying even, that he had to go back there.

He didn’t want to go but his spirit was unsettled. Something told him that going to his grandmother’s favorite church would give him a sense of illumination, that it would make sense of the things that made no sense.

Sacred Heart stands on a hill, both physically and metaphorically. It takes offerings off the backs of the poor and sits atop a lush hill. Its stained-grey architecture is only beautiful by virtue of its stained-glass murals. He doesn’t care for the saints that loom overhead, unseeing eyes judgemental and cold. Viejitos and the truly devout are the only ones in attendance. Based on Peter’s account, he should expect you there. It doesn't take long to be proven right.

“Bendición.”

Is he hallucinating again? Despite the many rows of unspoken burgundy benches, you sit by him. Miguel is disconcerted as you slide your thick hips by, sandwiching him between the side of the bench and your chunky, beautiful thighs. He worked his words in his mouth for entirely too long.

“Dios te bendiga,” he said, the words chalky and thick in his throat, drawn up from the bottomless abyss of his fluttery stomach. You sat with a black lace veil pinned to your head. The only sort of women who wear a veil are very old or not Catholic at all. He veers on the latter. “You’re Catholic?”

“If you want me to be.”

“Why else would you be here?” he reached over and plucked up a cheap bible from a pouch behind the bench before him. Your eyes follow pupils dilating in a way that isn’t human at all, staring at the many words on the page that spun under his thumb.

“I think you know why,” you said with soft and pliable words. He felt himself melting.

Of course, Miguel thought, you always seem to show up during the most inopportune times.

"You didn't bring a bible," he offers it to you. Your eyes, dilate wide and bright at the sight of the thing, flicker a look down to it, then Miguel again.

"I prefer to listen." You turn away from it. He flipped it in his hand before returning it to its rightful pouch. For some reason, you did not want to be close to the book. He thinks he knows why.

“So you are stalking me.”

"Stalking is such a mean word, Miggy. Haunting, I like haunting better." Miguel throws open the report. He doesn’t want to read it-- but it is the last folder that may hold the information he needs. Your eyes fluttered to the footsteps of others filling their spot, an archaic song on the lips of the practitioners. Wrong page, Miguel.

"What was that?" he asked you.

"Nada."

He looked down to his lap where the report sat. The voices of those present, their lips forming an off-tuned song, itched at his already exhausted mind. The more he fought, the worse it became. You flipped open a black fan and cooled yourself with long flicks of your wrist. He doesn’t think it’s so hot.

“The rosary on your desk is from here, isn’t it?”

How would you know?

“You’re hiding something.”

Page 76. His fingers thumb on the pages on their own accord. Your eyes traced the movement, looking down at the pages before him. On deaths of company men.

I just do.

The thought entered his mind without prompting. He scanned names on the page. Aaron Delgado… asphyxiation. Tyler Stone… myocardial infarction. There were photos pinned there, photos that shouldn’t be so graphic, but somehow are. The men are as naked as the day they came into the world.

“If you say so, Miggy.”

“What are you hiding?”

You brought your hand over the file, closing it shut on top of his hand. He turns his hands over the top. Your fingers run over his knuckles, in misleading circles. “Are you sure you want the truth?”

“I don’t hide from the truth.”

“The truth,” you leaned in, your words husky against his ear. “The truth is I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m a good girl, Miggy. You have to believe me.”

Something about the way you spoke enraged him, prickling him enough to force him to stand in the middle of the priest’s words. He snatched your wrist with his thick hand, gripping you enough to leave pepper bruises across your skin. Your heels clicked after his boots, out through the foyer, past the bath of holy water, and down the discolored steps.

“Miguel?” you sang like a siren.

He’s hit his limit, throwing you against the discolored church wall. A gasp punched out of your lungs, aggravated by Miguel’s large hand strangling the breath from your throat. He felt warm as he kicked your legs apart and took up that space. The heat doesn’t feel like it is his. His bulge against your skirt certainly is. Now, he seems to expect pleasure when he is in your presence.

“You want me to fuck you, sí? That’s why you’re tormenting me every fucking night.”

“I thought you liked cumming,” you relinquished with a harsh giggle. It grates his last nerve. “You finally look relaxed when you do.”

“Qué mala eres,” Miguel snatched the bottom of your skirt, ripping it up the slit to expose your warm skin. He found no panties there, just smooth skin. He cupped your sex for emphasis. “No panties in church. You're filthy.”

“¿Y qué? You’re proving why I didn’t need them.”

He stared, lingering for a moment, challenging your insistence on control. Since he took over this god-forbidden company, you had been defying him with your devilish smile. Miguel slapped your cunt, eliciting a groan that was half of the pain that he’d had only a few hours ago. You liked it, scratching lines up his arms to his broad shoulders.

“You’re so big,” you balanced his abuse with your overwhelming worship. “So big and pretty.”

“Shut up,” he bit out and slipped his middle finger inside of you, unconcerned for your pleasure. Your muscles tightened around his finger, drawing him deeper. He slides another beside it, his hand leaving your cunt to slap your jaw, forcing you to keep focus. Your tender flesh is hot and red, a wonderful tenderness radiating throughout your jaw.

“And you're dripping, do you have no shame?” He grips your chin to look at your face. Raw defiance was slapped across your face. You rolled your hips onto his hand, forcing him to caress your walls in the right spot. He perked his brow, listening to the priest lecturing in the background. Your sweetness drooled over his curled wrist, dripping from his squelching fingers.

“For you,” you whined. “I want your dick. Give it--”

“You’re a brat.”

He said that-- but he was amused. Miguel slipped down onto his knees, knocking your legs rudely apart. His mouth encircled your puffy clit, bringing it into his mouth and suckling it fat. His rhythm was quick, making a point that he could make you cum too. You weren’t debating him, your hands tight in his hair, loud little moans beating free from your lips. His tongue was warm and soft, kissing and nipping.

The priest went quiet.

“You’re being too loud. Do you want them to hear us?” Miguel’s brow furrowed, slipping up from your vulva.

"Why is that my problem?" You whined in distaste after he stopped pleasuring you, your pulsing cunt beating like an open wound. Asshole.

"You could care for someone other than yourself." Miguel tilted his head, turning you to face the wall. He pulled himself free of his pants-- his thick cock fat against the curve of your ass. That’s what you wanted, he decided, gauging by your whine that came with his action.

"How does that get me what I want?" You shook your ass at him, waiting for him to rear back.

“This is what you wanted, hm? Fine, have it. Just shut up."

He leaned over you, your scratchy black veil catching along his stubble. He doesn’t wait for a response, pushing inside. He wasn’t just thick, he was long. But he knew you already knew that-- you knew every curve of his body, loved the thick veins on his cock that filled you so well. You scratched at the wall as he crushed you into the wall, his hips stuttering with your walls tightening him, drawing him further, impossibly deep.

Estúpida, he thought-- and knew you’d hear it. Whatever you were, you weren’t human. You were somewhere between a human and desire itself, evident in the way you looked at him, pleasured by his rutting hips against the church. The priest went back to his lecture-- the churchgoers enraptured in their worship. The only thing Miguel was enraptured with was the way your pussy tingled, the fluid soaking his cock, and the stretch in your lower belly. His hand clasped over your mouth, index finger poking into your mouth. Your tongue drew him in, fangs nipping his finger.

It earned you a hard slam, stuffing you full, your strange body catching his thrusts beautifully. He slipped his hand over your soft cunt, working your clit for your orgasm, though you deserved no such thing. Habit, he supposed. Gloria a Dios-- the churchgoers clammed with one another. Nearly out of time, your pleasure won out, gushing over his fat cock. Miguel suckled a breath, his ego demanding him to hold out, batter your sweet cunt through your orgasm.

“I’m hungry-- Give it to me,” you bit on his finger, breaking the skin and urging blood to flow into his mouth. Your body twitched violently around his cock, drawing bright pleasure forth. “Give me your cum.”

"Stay out of my dreams."

"I don't want to," you reared your head back at him, your nose tight with wrinkles. He drew you fully onto his dick, the final thrusts were sloppy and immature-- but he held out, making you angrier by the second.

"I'll cum on the floor right here, I don't give a shit."

"No, no! Fine! I promise-- I'll let you sleep," the threat of going hungry is enough that you concede, punching your fist against the wall. He grunts in response and feeds your body with whips of cum that felt far heavier than his usual. A pleasure, far sweeter than any orgasm he could give you. Miguel soaked your sweet little body with his sticky cum, chest swelling heavily against your little back. He finishes and pulls himself free. To his surprise, your cunt doesn’t leak. Miguel staggers back with a perk in his eyebrow.

You look far better for wear than he does, clumsily zipping himself back into cum stained slacks, running his hand through his sweat-soaked hair. You recline on the wall, inspecting him. He knows how he looks. He's bruised, long gashes down his chest, and properly fucked-- a mess. The manila envelope sits forgotten by your heels, your skirt-- perfect, as though he never tore it in the first place.

“You’re not human.”

Miguel bends down, picking up the folder. Not like he needs it anymore. He does, however, need that information on Project 2099. I can help you, he hears. He catches your wide, toothy smile. You've grown fangs. He isn’t surprised.

“Not even a little.”

[punkpandapatrixk]

✍🏻Destined Person's Words of Love ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

‘Let’s face it, no pretty girl in her right mind wants me. She wants Gregory Peck.’

‘Is that so?’

‘Well, isn’t it?’

‘How do you know what a pretty girl wants?’

‘Well, I don’t really know, but I imagine—'

‘You and your imagination. You think every girl’s a dope! You think a girl goes to a party and there’s some guy, a great big lunk in a fancy striped vest, strutting around like a tiger, giving you that I’m-so-handsome-you-can’t-resist-me look. And from this she’s supposed to fall flat on her face.

Well, she doesn’t fall on her face. But there’s another guy in the room, way over in the corner. Maybe he’s kinda nervous and shy, perspiring a little. First you look past him but then you sort of sense, he’s gentle and kind and worried. And he’ll be tender with you. Nice and sweet. That’s what’s really exciting.

If I were your wife, I’d be very jealous of you… I’d be very, very jealous.’

— The Marilyn Monroe in The Seven Year Itch (1955)

SONG: Baby Baby cover by TAEIL & Unforgettable by Nat King Cole

MOVIE: Only Lovers Left Alive (2013) & Whisper of the Heart (1995)

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 2]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

People often can’t see for themselves just how lovely they are in someone else’s eye. Although it is important we don’t depend our entire sense of worth on another person’s acknowledgement or approval, I still think it’s such a sweet thing to be reminded by a wonderful someone that we are inherently wonderful ourselves.

Maybe because society is such a hurtful place to be… people, have a habit of viewing themselves quite harshly; full of judgements and malignant points of view. But if someone lovely views you so dearly, wouldn’t you be a darling and think lovelier thoughts of yourself, too?🥰

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – I’ve Kept My Love Only for You

VIBE: Alone by Jimin & Kako to Genjitsu (The Past and Reality) by BONNIE PINK

you reflected in my Eye – 7 of Pentacles Rx

My Dearest, do you know how many secrets I hide deep within my heart? Secrets not even my close friends would ever figure. I’ve dealt with a lot in this lifetime. This Life, has not been exactly very kind to me. But I am managing, and I often think to myself, which I know must be true, that I’m still going on only because you have been protecting me from somewhere I can’t see. I can feel you, that’s why.

I don’t know what you look like, but I’ve often felt your embrace when life knocks me down—when shit hit like a storm and tried to kill me; I could feel your hands healing me with magic stardust. I always knew it. But I couldn’t put that into words for surely everybody would think me insane. But My Love, I am crazy. Sometimes I can’t breathe—my yearning for you suffocates me with so much pining.

Where are you? Dammit, I’m in pain. I think about you all the time. You’ve given me something precious to live by. I hope I’ve done the same for you, in any way, any small way, even if just a bit. I want to be of some use to you. I want to embrace and protect you like you’ve done for me. When are you coming? I am so sad but nobody will ever know of it because I’m in love with a Ghost.

manifesting you, my Dear – 5 of Cups Rx

There’s a lot about the past I must let go, heal from, and trust me, I’m doing it! I’m at my best healing my soul, my heart, my mind; all so I can be a good person for you. I don’t want to be a shitty person carrying, well, a lot of shit when we meet. I don’t want my toilet baggage of a past to ruin our connection when the time is right for us to meet! I know it’s a lot to say, but I’m crazy about you.

I think about you all the time, hoping you’d feel me constantly the way I’m feeling you. I wonder, am I feeling you so much because… you’re actually thinking of me, too? Dammit! I wish I could know for sure! Tell me, babe! Argh… I’m so curious I could die! Do you miss me? Do you like me? Do you want… to be with me? Do you… feel me?

I haven’t told anybody about you. I’ve never really spoken of you. I dunno… it just feels so preciously secret I feel I shouldn’t be precarious about it lest someone hurts you in the process. It doesn’t make sense, right? But you’re someone I have to protect in secrecy. It’s hard to put into words but your aenergy is so pure, so precious, only for me; I don’t want to spoil it by sharing my knowledge of you with anybody else. I guess I’m obsessed LMAO I’m possessed by you!

i love You – 3 of Swords

Tell me, has the world been unkind to you as well? Sometimes I see you crying in my dreams. And I worry. For a whole day. A whole week. Sometimes it’s impossible to shake off thoughts of you hurting even though I don’t even know where you are. I miss you. I love you, you know? I promise everything will be alright when you’re with me. Come to me already. I’m ready for you. I’m SO ready for you, babe! Jump into my embrace you cutie pie! I’ll hold you for days.

And I haven’t the slightest doubt you’re the most beautiful being to walk on Earth. Yeah, that’s why you’ve dealt with envious bitches, right? I know that. Dunno how I do, but I know that. Though it may sound stoopid, I’m jealous of those who can even meet you in real life. I’m wondering everyday what kind of a wonderful being you are in person. I know you’re a divine healer. Sweet and kind more than appearances could tell.

It’s only because you exist in this world that I’ve been able to live this long. Otherwise, I would’ve died a long, long, long time ago. I’ve kept on living just for you. I wish you’d know that. I’ve kept my Love only for you and no one else. Never anybody else. I’m so grateful for you but I’m so sad. I miss you so badly sometimes I could go crazy. I’m haunted by dreams of you and I can’t even recognise your face. I want to see you.

MY MUSE🔻💚

how Grateful i am – Green Magus (John Dee)

I will be with you! – Priestess of Fertility

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – Loving All of You in This Reality

VIBE: I Like Me Better cover by Jaehyun & Neko to Inu (Cat and Dog) by Sakamoto Maaya

you reflected in my Eye – 7 of Wands Rx

Hey bro, you see, the world is full of distractions and my mind races a million lightyears per hour, but I’ve got things to say. So bear with me. Ahem!

You, are God. And I, am not a simp! Listen, hon. I have so much passion for you. Big, big passion; as wide as the seas and high as the skies, and I hope you can understand how much I feel for you. I’m not a poet; though I try to be, but I’m not a book smart kinda person, unfortunately *sigh*

You see, in the past, or should I say up until just recently, I’ve not been the nicest or greatest person you could possibly meet. I was lazy, I wasn’t responsible or realistic at all. I was simply, lost. In many ways, I admit I’ve been a loser of sort. I’ve hated myself quite a lot, if I cared to admit. But you’re like the complete opposite of me. NO wait…

The truth is, I see that you’re a reflection of myself. You are me. But just the good parts. When I look at you, I’m reminded of my own potentials and I really love how you make me feel when I’m with you. I can see myself in a better light when I see myself reflected in your eyes. The way you see and think of me… God, how can a person be so good and still be attracted to me…

manifesting you, my Dear – King of Wands

Therefore, baby, I want you to know that I’m working on myself. Up until now I’ve always thought of myself as someone who has not much else but passion! But that has made me a rather chaotic clown. The truth is, I didn’t really know what to do with my own passion, my own Life. What kinds of things were possible for me to manifest? What kinds of things would be good to even manifest? I was lost, lost, lost.

But goddamn, you appeared out of nowhere, like godsend, and bam! Wham! I was changed. Now I have bigger, nobler dreams because you’re in the picture! All that I want, I want you to be part of it. I want you. A Life with you. I’ll build a kingdom for the two of us. Nothing in this world would mean something if you’re not with me. Would you marry me? Ah… sorry, that jumped out on its own.

Heheh my mind jumps from one thing to another sometimes I surprise myself. I hope you don’t mind me being this chaotic—I’ve still got room to grow! I’m still growing up and I want to become closer to something as talented as you, sincerely. You are my role model, don’t you know that? You may think it sounds weird but I’m not embarrassed to say that!

i love You – 5 of Wands Rx

I’m afraid of competition. That’s all my Life has been. If I’m honest, I’m torn between my confidence in winning you and my occasional sense of worthlessness. I’m afraid you’re never going to view me as good enough for someone as good as you. I know you’re my Destined Person! So I know I shouldn’t be thinking these thoughts… but I can’t help it somehow.

Maybe the problem is that I want so badly to become like you. To become someone who won’t be embarrassing to you. And that’s a lot of work, okay? Just… seriously, a lot of work on my part. I’m not saying it’s not worth it, I’m just afraid. I’ve been a loser too long. Ah, never mind. I know, I know. I think my mind just needs to grow up a bit more.

The problematic thing is, when I think about you, I go back to my younger self who had more dreams and ambitions and then I become scared again LMAO I’m a mess. I want to create an amazing world for you and me. How can I ever get there? I’m still figuring this out, alright? We’ve got an entire lifetime to see how this goes😊I LOVE YOU!!

MY MUSE🔻❤️

how Grateful i am – Red Historian (John Dee)

I will be with you! – Priestess of Faith

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – All’s Written in the Stars for You and I

VIBE: Serendipity by Jimin & Paris in the Rain by Lauv

you reflected in my Eye – Knight of Cups

Ever since I was only a kid, I’ve always known there was a special someone who was always close by. I’d look up to the heavens to look for you, My Dearest, the brightest of all the Stars. When I look at the Moon, I feel like drowning in your sweet essence. Your soothing voice, your warm embrace—to me, all of that was real. And I knew I was special, because someone special whom I couldn’t see whispered that to me every day.

Because of you, I was able to grow up believing I was meant for something greater in this lifetime. You were always my motivation. I knew that if I became something great, sooner than later I’d meet you; and I’d be proud of the creature I’d made of myself when I present this humble me before your grace. I want you to look at me with stars in your eyes. Because in my mind, with all of my heart I’ve worshipped you.

At least�� I’d like to be someone worthy of you. My Queen, I promise you I will become King and bring Heaven on Earth for all that you love. You are surely the loveliest creature I’ll ever know. Sweet and kind, and brave and strong, you are everything all at once. And my heart longs only for you. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I will make you the happiest person in the whole world.

manifesting you, my Dear – VII The Chariot Rx

The fact that we are alive, at the same time, in this world is miraculous as it is. If only you knew just how strongly the dark forces are trying to break us apart, keep us separate, you’d marvel at the wonder that you’re even reading this from me! From the moment the Universe was created, you and I have always been one and the same. We’re linked just like that. As long as you think of me, I will always be by your side.

I’m also thinking about you all the time. You exist somewhere in this Galaxy; your body is sleeping somewhere on this Earth. Right now, you are but a dream to me. But my dreams have been leading me to you. I… don’t think we need to even work that hard at manifesting each other. It’s all written in the stars for you and I, darling. Though I admit I fall into a slump sometimes…

Manifesting you is probably not the easiest thing because I’m impatient. I try to be. Seriously. But my longing for you kills me sometimes. I want you right by my side, right now. I keep dreaming about the day we rendezvous under the most magical circumstances. I wonder if you’ll recognise me… Because I know I will. I’ve been manifesting you for the longest time.

i love You – 4 of Swords

I love you. In the purest, gentlest manner possible. I want you to relax when you’re with me. I’d like you to let your guards down and be able to breathe in the sweet air. The wind caresses your hair and there I will be watching your beauty finally in form before me. I will be appreciating the fact we occupy the same space and time at all. I will take in this moment as if it were an eternity.

When you’re with me, there is not a worry. I won’t ever make you doubt my intentions. I’m loyal like that. I’m your only other and I’ll kiss you better. Everything that’s ever caused you pain, I’ll eliminate forever. Everything that’s ever caused you tears, I’ll replace with calm and peace. I’m strong, so you can depend on me. I’ll show you a whole new world, okay?

So, don’t be afraid to trust. Don’t hesitate. I know you waver sometimes but I’m here for you. I’m all yours. I’m not at all like those who’ve been stupid enough to disappoint you. I’ll never hurt you. How could I ever? I’d be killed by a cow if I ever did! My gosh, I love you. I love you. I love you so much I could swallow you whole! Please be with me. Trust in me and never look at anybody else. I beg of you?

MY MUSE🔻💙

how Grateful i am – Red Physician (Galen of Pergamon)

I will be with you! – Priestess of Love

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 2]

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[most-datable-datable-bracket]

ROUND 3 MATCH 32

Mammon propaganda:

“He was done dirty in the first round, I hope he wins this time because he deserves it 

First of all, he hates you at the start but then he starts to like you but he exclaimed his hate too much at the start so he can't admit it 

Everyone knows that he likes MC, even his little D (who are demons familiars) thinks that they should date 

He is a classic tsundere but doesn't actually hurt you like other tsunderes but he is so bad at hiding his feelings that everyone is just ignores it 

He is the avatar of greed, meaning he is clingy which may be a turn away for some people but he cares for you so so much 

He has never turned into his demon form to hurt you (Asmo hasn't but he has tried to seduce you with his power)

Don't get me started on his story cards, he literally is so cute

He wants to be a mentor to Luke, like Lucifer was to him, he is only mean to Luke because he wants Luke to learn about how life isn't all sunshine and rainbows

He is also so hot, he is a bisexual panic 

He is bullied by his brothers but he cares for them so so much despite their bullying

I am so in love with him and have written so many fics about him 

Anyway, I'm going to stop here because otherwise I'll be here all day”

“First friend, first pact, practically the MC's first everything, he is a major Tsundere, he holds my heart hostage, I just want to smooch him, he and MC share a room, he is such a cute little bab, he does bully Luke (a child) but it's revealed that he just wants to show Luke that the world isn't all sunshine and rainbows and want help him figure things out

He is the cutest little guy, he cares for his brother 

His sin is greed so he does steal things from people but since lesson 1 he hasn't stolen anything from MC 

He wrote a song to propose 

Sure he is clingy but in a good way

He is so cute 

He adopted a child, which he had to leave in the care of witches and willingly let's the witches extort him 

There is so much that I can say about him but 1. Spoilers and 2. I don't think you want to read that much”

“OKAY SO. OH MY GOD. 

First person we're able to properly romance in game. AND FOR GOOD REASON. He's had MCs back from the beginning, hes the one real one in the game. He's always trying to protect us and its so nice. Puppy boy. He's so me as well??? Like he's such a doting boyfriend it's literally so cute. When MC had to go back up to Earth, he kept breaking the rotating schedule in order to call us more. He always gets MC gifts (avatar of greed love language being gift giving im gonna collapse) and he just drops the most romantic lines out of nowhere??? Like sir are you trying to give me a heart attack. He's the secretly traumatized comic relief. He has ADHD. He's canonically queer (MC doesnt have a set gender). He even likes Head pats. Vote Mammon.”

“HE'S SO PATHETIC AND CRINGEFAIL. I LOVE HIM”

Jaehee propaganda:

“only female love interest in MM, not included in the first round for SOME REASON, you literally go off and live your coffee shop au with her at the end of her route.”

“My lesbian wife. Open a bakery with her after convincing her that she doesn't have to give up her happiness to make money. She can pursue her passions. Also her backstory is so sad and I just wanna hug and kiss her and throw hands at her "family" for making her feel like she does. Also the Valentine's dlc, you get locked in the back of the bakery with her and... Yeah that's my wife. I love her dearly. Also can we just acknowledge that she's like the only path that involves almost none of the dramatic death defying nonsense. You're just gay and in love and it's beautiful”