#i hate everything so much and my day is ruined
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Pornstar!Logan NSFW
This work is inspired by @bpmiranda and their own pornstar!Logan smut, which you can find here. Please go and check it out, it's so yummy and i hope I am doing this idea justice.
Pairing: Logan Howlett x reader
Summary: Up until now, filming a porn video was only something you joked about. But after your job failed you, this simple 'joke' brought you to a whole new carreer path that you would love to explore further, especially if your co-worker was this handsome man that ruined your pussy for everyone else.
Wordcount: 2.3k -ish
Warnings/tags: pornstair!Logan, pornstar!reader, porn with plot, first porn recording, filmed sex, best friends dad porn, squirting, unprotected penis in vagina sex, pussy pronouns, implied blowjob, basically sex with a stranger, dirty talk, doggy style, Logan is older than reader, cumming on pussy, perverted director, mention of threesome (F/F/M), english isn't my first languange (lmk if i missed something!)
◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇
It had always been a joke. All of this - you just joked about it. But now as you stood in front of this building, the filming location, that's when you truly knew that it was in fact not a joke anymore.
You were about to cast in your first professional porn video.
For years you had been telling your friends, if your degree didn't work out, you'd start selling nsfw art. If your job applications would keep getting rejected, you would become a stripper. It was always something you and your friends could laugh about greatly, but it was never really taken serious in the end. That was about to change.
Throughout the last months, you had taken this career path more and more into your field of interest. Your hated your job, the salary, the people there and your boss. You needed a quick change. So you read about becoming a porn actress, watched interviews with stars of this industry, stating how they got into it, what they had to do, how they coped with everything at the start and much more. You felt ready, but you also didn't really, not when you stood in front of this building and knew that in just an hour, you would be having a stranger pounding his cock into your pussy while everyone around watched.
You took a deep breath as you entered and upon stating your name at the reception desk, you were brought to the second floor where you were greeted by the director.
"Ah, there you are! You're (Y/N), right?" he said and shook your hand with a firm grip. He was the manager of all of this. He had been in this industry for years and sounded very nice from the very start. You felt comfortable as you stood in front of him. You nodded your head. "Yeah, that's me. I hope I am not too late?" you asked nervously, biting your lip. You really didn't need to leave a bad expression right on the first day.
He laughed and shook his head "No, don't worry. You're just in time to meet the guy you're gonna work with today. You're gonna like him." he said and winked at you. You had already heard a bit about the man that would, to put it as is, fuck you today. They praised him highly, told you that you should be happy to have the opportunity with him because he gets so many requests from porn actresses every day.
Richie shoved you through a crowd of working people to a cozy break corner for the actors. There he stood. And wow. He already wore his outfit for the upcoming video. It was a plain black shirt, a thick belt and rugged jeans, but damn. He looked good.
Upon seeing you, a smirk spread across his lips and he stood up, hands in his pockets. "That's Mr. Howlett. Your lover for today" Richie chuckled as he introduced you to him.
"Call me Logan, sweets. Nice to meet you, heard a lot about ya" Logan said and his voice alone made your pussy throb. You both shook hands and you told him your name as well. It would be a lie if you said you weren't anxious. Your heart was beating out of your throat. You were intimidated by your work partners looks and the fact that he was a lot more experienced in this field than you. He looked very charming and handsome, picture perfect like some famous hollywood actor. And you were just, well, you. You felt like you couldn't compete with that in the slightest.
The time you had to speak to him, get to know him at least a little bit before his cock was in your mouth, was limited, because you were pulled to different stations by different people left and right, getting you into costume, fixing your make-up and hair, even checking if you had shaved down there properly. It was all so much at once, but Logan was always watching over you, weirdly enough, reassuring you. Truth be told, he saw himself when he looked at you. He was pretty confident by nature, but when he first started out in this business, he was overwhelmed and unsure at first as well. So he felt deep sympathy with you, even if you didn't know that.
Now you stood at the set with your two co-stars, Logan and some other woman who you didn't know the name of because she was so minor to the scene. She was only there to play your best friend from college. Your best friend with a smoking hot single father.
Your nerves were killing you as you stood in the pre-build bedroom with your co-star. You took a deep breath and decided to go with the flow. You knew the script, you knew the movements and looks, so there wasn't really anything that could go wrong. Right? "Okay, cameras, lights, action!" Richie yelled over the set. Now there was no going back.
You flopped down on your friends bed with a sigh. "This assigment is killing me. We've been working on it for days now and we aren't getting anywhere" you scoffed. Your on screen friend agreed with you, voicing her anger towards the professor as well.
You started acting like you were starting to unpack your bag when you heard a car engine. Your co-star groaned. "Perfect, now my dad's here. He normally works longer than that" she said. You had never met her dad, he was always at work when you were over. "Lindsay, I'm home!" Logan called before he stepped into the room, stopping in his tracks as he saw you. The camera zoomed in on your slightly shocked face, taking in your agape mouth and how your eyes clouded over. You crossed your leg over the other as warmth spread through your core.
Logan smirked at you, leaning against the doorframe. "So, you are the girl my daughter has been doing that assigment with, I assume? Nice to meet you, I'm her old man." he spoke in his deep voice, extending a warm, strong hand out for you to shake, a knowing look being shared between you as he eyed you up and down, pratically undressing you with his gaze only.
The director yelled cut. You let out a nervous sigh. This worked out way better than you had imagined, but that was just the easy part of this whole thing.
Though, the second Logan pushed the tip of his cock into your sopping pussy with a relieved smile on his lips that wasn't part of the script, you couldn't care less about your insecurities or worries. The words you were supposed to say just came naturally with the way he fucked you open. "Such a greedy little cunt, she is practically sucking me in" he groaned, one hand pushing your head into the pillows of his daughters bed.
"You really needed this, huh? Needed a big fucking cock to pound your pussy. The boys in college just don't cut it, am I right?" He groaned, enjoying the way your pussy tightened around his throbbing shaft. How could a cock feel this good? Logan could ask you the same thing - how could a fucking pussy be this tight and warm and just sopping wet?
Logan watched your face being squished against the pillows, slurring your words while you drooled. He smirked. You were made for this, the camera was eating you up like this. A shiver ran down his spine as he thought about using this video when he was at home to get off. He leaned down to your ear, his plush lips kissing and biting at the shell before he whispered something only for you to hear "What a natural you are. Gotta have to request you as my partner more often from now on, don't I?" he was whispering in such a hot, breathless voice, it almost made you cum before you even should. He could feel that. And oh boy did it feed his ego.
"Does it turn you on? Being fucked on your best friends bed? By her dad?" Logan rumbled in character, kneading your tits. It took you a while to get a hold of your thoughts and the script, so Logan used that silence to keep whispering in your ear how fucking pretty your tits were. "Y-yes! I...I love it" you slurred, your voice raw from the moans you couldn't hold back for the life of you.
Logan hummed pleased. "Oh I bet you do, baby. Already so cockdrunk for me"
Your pussy felt so good with the way he was dragging his cock in and out, reaching places inside you you didn't knew existed. It was funny to you - you were supposed to fake moan and falsely contort your face in pleasure - but you didn't have to do any of that. If anything, you needed to shut up. You were moaning so loud and so prettily for Logan, it was almost excessive. You just couldn't help yourself. Every time you tried to shut your mouth, Logan would notice and pound into your sweet spot. He couldn't have you denying him of your cute sounds.
Not long and the scene ended with you squirting all over his cock and the sheets. That wasn't initially meant to happen, but with the way Logan was fucking you, you lost control as your orgasm hit. Logan tried to mask his surprise by going off script, continuing to circle your clit "Yes, such a good girl. Keep making a mess for me, baby" he groaned into your neck. You squirmed in his grasp, the overstimulation too much as you felt him cumming over your pussy. He hadn't expected you squirting, but it served perfectly to make him cum like he hadn't in a while.
Richie yelled cut again and Logan let go of your hips, making you fall flat onto the drenched sheets, completely boneless. You could hear faint applause and a warm hand on your back. As Richie approached the bed, Logan was quick to bring you his fluffy robe and wrapped it around you aftwr helping your shaken form to sit up, shielding you from prying eyes. The crew was highly professional for the most part, but there were some creeps shamelessly goggling at the actresses, especially newcomers. Sometimes Richie was one of them...
So Logan had a protective hand around your back, sprawled over your waist to keep you pressed into his side while you regained your composure. You were tired and worn out, but in a very very good way. Your core buzzed with warmth and so did the rest of your body. Without realising, you leaned your head onto Logans shoulders, softly closing your eyes for a moment. It made his heart skip a beat.
"Jesus Christ, you two were really going at it, huh?" Richie grinned and clapped his hands together. "I am deeply impressed with you, rookie. The camera loved you. Didn't even have to correct you at all. Can't believe you haven't done this before" the middle aged man chuckled and tried to discreetly pear down your cleavage to which Logan covered your upper body a bit more, staring Richie down. You didn't feel all too safe now, especially in your slight dazed state. But Logan was there and somehow being able to nuzzle into him for protection eased your mind greatly. "You two can go and take a break. I have Mirinda, Mandy and Josh for the next sesh. But after that, I'd like to see you both in action again. Maybe with another woman as well, how would you like that?"
Logan declined for you with a slight bite to his voice, excusing you and himself after he had wrapped a towel around his hips and brought you to his dressing room. Richie wasn't a bad man. But he was far from being appropriate at times. It happened rarely and mostly only to actresses who had been in this industry for years, but they knew how to treat directors like him for rude staring not to happen. But you were still so young and inexperienced with everything, so anxious and nervous. Logan wanted to protect that. Protect you. The industry was tough and he didn't want you to break under all of this like he did in the beginning himself.
"Thank you for uhm...getting me out of there" you mumbled as you began to dress yourself again with the clothes you had arrived in. You chuckled to yourself as Logan turned around when you put on your bra and underwear as if he hadn't just conpletely seen you bare and ruined you for every other man.
He scoffed. "Not for that. It was the least I could do. Sometimes he gets a bit creepy, but he his decent. He doesn't do more than stare, fortunately. Still, I'm sorry you had to endure that on your first day. But that's, sadly, how it is" he answered, pulling his shirt over his head and you shamelessly watched his muscles dip and contract from his movements.
You buttoned up your blouse and shrugged. "I expected it, honestly. But you were my knight in shining armor, or lack there of-" you laughed and Logan couldn't help but chuckle alongside you. "- so it wasn’t that bad. At least the sex was good"
Logan smirked. "It was?" he asked with a cocky undertone. He knew that it was, but hearing it from you directly made his chest flutter. Not that he would ever admit that. You nodded with a hum, slightly chewing on your bottom lip.
"I have to say the same. You have a great pussy" he blurts out, making both of you laugh. "There is more where that came from, lover boy" it was very easy to be comfortable around Logan and it made you feel a little less lost. It made you feel like you had a guiding hand and you were so grateful that he was there. It wasn’t his job to be your caretaker, he wasn't getting paid to tell you how to do things or protect you from backhanded nasty comments from filming crew members. But you were glad he instantly took you under his wing like this.
You couldn't wait to shoot with him again
◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇
I had so much fun writing this! Let me hear your thoughts, do you want a part two?
And don't be scared, there is also going to be more sub!Logan soon and a few fluff drabbles as well. Stay tuned!
#logan howlett smut#logan howlett x reader#logan x reader#x men#hugh jackman#wolverine x reader#x reader#logan howlett#logan wolverine#marvel#marvel cinematic universe#mcu#logan howlett x you#logan howlett fanfiction#wolverine#smut#deadpool and wolverine
411 notes
·
View notes
Text
actively fighting a full blown panic attack born out of sadness and anger after having to drive by yet another victim on the side of the road
it makes me livid how accepted it is to just let cats suffer and die disgustingly horrid deaths and live awful short lives just so what, for what?? so you dont have to play with them for an hour a day??? when i was little it was just kinda normal that they disappeared at some point, i didnt understand what it actually meant until our outdoor cat i loved dearly was found in the bushes near our house in a condition so horrible my dad has never told me and i have never dared to ask, she only made it to 6 and had horrible scars and infections before that i allowed my family to convince me to let my first own cat outside, we only had her for a year, she died at only 2 years old, i am still suffering from the guilt, it has never let me go, she went missing for a week and i walked the entire vilage up and down every day, yelling her name, wandering into the forest alone, talking to every stranger i met until one morning my mom told me that our neighbour who works for the city asked if we had a white cat with a very specific collar she had- he found her on a busy road crossing in the next bigger city, i never even got to bury her, its haunting me, the thought of her wandering lost and scared in the city for a week until meeting an awful end gives me headaches, the fact that i was the last one to see her alive, that i put her outside bc we were late for school and had to leave quickly, that she had come home with oil in her fur from crawling through maschines and cars before, that i was worried but still didnt act, that it is my fault, any time i am up to late its coming back, it will never let me go, if i had stood my ground and not allow her outside unless on a leash or similar shed still be alive today, any time i read a description at our local shelter it comes back, they still advocate for outside cats, all of them, even if they have only been an indoor one before, its madness my older sister had a cat, i dont even know how old he got but it wasnt long either, he got hit by a car in front of their house, she has two now again and the only reason she hasnt let them outside is because they havent shown much interest in it, i tried to warn her before and she didnt listen and shes still resistent, even after losing one too
i have seen so many on the side of the road, anywhere i drive i see them, i cannot forget a single one, we are surrounded by farm land and all its giant maschinery, its still common to poison rodents, why do people value them so little, you wouldnt let your dog just live outside in the woods and streets for half the day or more, you wouldnt just throw your guniea pigs on the road and tell them have fun, you wouldnt just let your bird roam outside, there probably assholes that do that too but you cannot tell me its as common as outside cats
i dont understand it, i dont, i wont, i never will, i will never forgive myself this poor little animal that was my responsibility having to pay the price of my ignorance, or my own weakness letting my family convince me despite the awful way we lost one before, it makes me want to explode it hurts my brain in grief and anger i can barely contain
cats deserve to live a safe and long life, i get only having them inside may feel like you are locking them up, but do you think that not doing so is worth having them die a painful death? being poisonend? on purpose even by disgusting people that hate them? abused and chased by other animals and dogs? hurt and lost? cutting their lifespan in half? if they even make it that far? the amount of wildlife that they kill unnecessarily so when all of that is already in a steep decline everywhere? and if they eat what they hunt get infected with diseases or again, poison? die somewhere in agony? if cared for they dont care about going outside, plenty can be leash trained or given a secure way to roam like those cat proof aviary like things, if you dont want to put effort into caring for a cat DONT GET ONE, ALL pets require adequate care, and if you think cats are the easiest bc you only have to feed them every now and then IF they come home? you suck, you are an asshole, i hate you and you do not care about them, if you just want to occasionalyl feed and pet an animal go to the petting zoo
(this is about pet cats of people who can absolutely afford to keep them healthily inside, i know feral cats and those in poor neighbourhoods are a thing, even if not here where i live, and thats a whole other but still similar problem and not the point of this post)
#ganondoodles talks#personal#tw pet death#tw cat death#i hate everything so much and my day is ruined#sorry to come at you with this but its just#the grief and anger i feel for these poor things is more than their owners ever will feel im sure#just getting another one like its a consumable piece of candy#its so common here i hate it#why are people so insistent on it#the fact that the shelter here too advocates for outdoor cats in every cats description makes me twice as mad#do you actually care for them or do you hope they die quickly so people get one more frquently or what#i thought about writing them but i have had both of my cats from there and i am afraid they would not take it well#i dont know how to approach trying to make a change in this case#(my current cat is indoor only obviously and shes about 10 now- which is the oldest of any cats i have known has gotten)#this is germany specific btw ... if theres anyone that knows an organization trying to change this pls let me know
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
VERY TMI
I hate what bulimia did to my bladder. Guys don’t start purging unless you want a weak bladder and more things to worry about. Like being afraid to pee yourself in public or when you go to sleep and having to put reminders to actually go to the bathroom.
This is very tmi but I did almost pee myself SO MANY TIMES! I would literally have to run to the bathroom if it’s not urgent urgent and I would be shaking and pressing my thighs together while crossing my legs (because when I press my legs normally my thighs don’t touch, it’s a bad thing in this situation because it’s more uncomfortable to slowly walk to the bathroom when your legs are crossed. I also have ADHD and the fact that I can’t stop tasks if I am in the flow also makes these things worse.
This is the reality of an ed. You want to end up being incontinent ?
I had a shocking moment when I almost fully peed myself in public. Like two days ago Since then I didn’t purge again. Who cares about being stick thin if you have brain fog, are balding and have to wear a diaper in like idk 5 years of having a severe eating disorder.
And yes even anorexia can cause this problem but low weight bulimia makes it show faster.
So my psychiatrist explained this to me.
Normal weight to overweight bulimia Bulimia causes of a weak bladder:
When you purge the act of inducing vomiting will make you clench all of your muscles including your bladder muscles (the muscles around the bladder and the bladder itself. This is why some people can even have bowel movements and pee themselves while vomiting.)
Anorexia causes of a weak bladder:
ED, the chronic starvation and malnutrition states may weaken pelvic floor muscles and the ligaments and fascia that support the pelvic floor
So IMAGINE having a combination of both of these eating disorders AKA low weight bulimia. It will happen two times faster.
Anyway when you repeat this everyday (purging I mean) multiple times a day for YEARS you damage those muscles that are already fragile and never usually trained (there is some workouts on YouTube to strengthen them)
So you end up with a weak bladder and you can even have to wear a diaper for the rest of your life.
Idk about you but the thought of having to rely on other people or having to worry about whether or not my diaper is visible makes me shiver. Like truly. I don’t judge people who aren’t able to go to the bathroom in a healthy manner but I know other people would. Also with people fetishising actual infants with wearing diapers I do not want to be confused with being one of them either.
So please. You have a functional body that is supposed to help you navigate this world. Do. Not ruin it
Anyway. Here is a really good picture that sums up the other reasons that can induce urinary issues with patients that have eds.
Stay safe out there. I see no one talking about these issues. The main distant goal is recovery someday. But if we aren’t ready we still can take active steps to reduce as much as we possibly can the damages that Eds stir up. We got this lovely.
Do everything in your power to:
Reach your goals. All of them not just weight loss related goals. Some people are skinny but they are huge addicts and are homeless. (Once again not judging but we do not want to end up like that) it’s better to be 5 pounds over your ugw and have a perfect life on the side then use drugs to become 10kg under your ugw but have you life go to shit. My point is that you need balance.
Find your balance.
Health is wealth so avoid junkorexia at all costs. Each calorie counts. So make the most out of your allowed calories. Invest in supplements (please for the love of god do not use vitamin or melatonin gummies. I know they are tasty but please. You don’t really know how much of the compound you are getting (they need a recipe that maintains the gummy texture so most of it is gelatin. And it’s very expensive. Opt for pills and capsules. And if you have the gummy craving just buy sugar free gummies that you have on the side) healthy infusions will become your new best friend. It’s cheaper than supplements and the benefits are insane. Flat stomach healthy hair healthy skin healthy nails. Better cognitive function better mental health. And it’s a mental trigger that reminds you of your goal. An easy task that rewires your subconscious brain to stick to the plan.
Invest in melatonin. 5mg is a good amount. Go to your general practitioner and tell them you have trouble sleeping which I am sure you do if you are restricting. Lack of sleep causes memory loss disorientation, decline in cognitive function, a rise in cortisol. reduced leptin (the satiation hormone), elevated ghrelin ( the hunger hormone) , and increased body mass index. And. DNA repair happens when we are sleeping or in a fasted state. So lack of sleep can cause cancer because cancer is caused by a mutation that makes cells immortal and they end up multiplying in an uncontrollable manner.
You know there is a creepy fact about cancer. When people die and have cancer or tumours in general. The tumor (cancerous or not) does not die as long as there is oxygen supply still in the body. So after death the tumour is still alive.)
my adhd brain is everywhere.
Anyway. Sleep more get better grades by being able to memorise things after studying them the day before. Get Better health, prevent cancer and cognitive decline.
Nuts and berries. I do not stress this enough. They are extremely important for brain health.
Get blueberries. Pine nuts walnuts. Almonds. Cashews.
Fat is not the enemy in fact our brains are Sixty percent made of fat, making it the fattiest organ in the human body. These fatty acids are crucial for your brain's performance, so make sure you're fueling it with healthy nutrients.
Seed oils and processed carbs are the enemy. High fructose corn syrup is also the enemy, any influencer or dietitian on the internet saying otherwise are LIARS and are paid by the food industry to say those things. I noticed so many stick thin dietitians actually sabotaging their followers by saying ohhh it’s okay it’s not bad. Ok you can go ahead and practice moderation yourself, but most of these foods are engineered to make you want and crave more. The less you eat of those foods the better it is.
Be aware of what kind of fat you’re using.
When cooking try to use coconut oil and avocado oil. Because those are stable even while heated up. While olive oil’s molecular structure changes when heated up. Making it better for cold use only. Make sure your oil is extra virgin. The less processing it goes through the better it is. Make sure to also hide it from the sun. Idk if you have noticed but high olive oil is always in dark bottles. This is for a multitude of reasons:
Dark bottles protect olive oil from light exposure, extending its shelf life and maintaining its nutritional value and freshness. This is especially important for premium extra virgin olive oil because it is little processed and has the maximum concentration of flavorings and antioxidants.
Have routines. Stay busy. This is where journaling comes into play. Write down your state now. The version of you you want to reach. Then in another entry write down the things you need to stop doing to reach your goal. To become that ideal version of you. And the things you need to start doing to get to your goals.
Do this for all areas of life.
Personally I separated my life like this:
Beauty, Physical health, mental health, nutrition goals. Studying. Me time.
For physical health:
Walking
Working out ( HIIT/ Pilates/ yoga/ dance workouts (cardio))
Health Infusions
Probiotics for gut health
Berries for antioxydants
Nuts and other healthy fats for brain health
Skin health (skincare+hydration)
For mental health:
Make sure to take my supplements and medication and my health infusions.
Avoid binge purging.
Beauty:
Do skincare.
Wax everywhere
Do eye brows.
Paint nails
Invest in hair oils and perfumes
Use my makeup for fun.
Nutrition goals:
Only eat healthy things make each calorie count
Prioritise high quality protein and fats
Eat sea food (not a lot of canned tuna because some studies show that there is a lot of mercury) you can eat sashimi in occasions.
I can share my supplements if you guys want ^^!
Studying:
8h a week maths+ advanced algebra and calculus.
8h a week physics and chemistry
4h philosophy
3 hours medical school preparation.
Me time:
Journaling. Tracking. Posting on here.
Tidy up room 15min per day. A tidy room reflects a tidy mind.
Read at least 15 mins a day something outside of school, even a novel. I bought the physical copy of the first book of twilight in french. I read all of the books in English online so it’s a nice change to have the physical copy and to read it in French.
Watch a video about a new math concept or about the history of maths/ physics/ chemistry.
Visualise your dream life on Pinterest.
Skincare (that also goes hand in hand with skin health and beauty)
Wind down and be on do not disturb mode.
Write and read fanfics.
Have a treat once a day. Maybe one date with organic peanut butter with melted dark chocolate on top. That’s a good treat. Or a chia seed pudding with vanilla bean extract.
Maybe buy some new teas to try out from palais des thés. Some good ones are giseng tea and peppermint tea for clear skin and better digestion. Or dandelion root infusion for a flat stomach (it reduces bloating.)
Spoil yourself with new skincare or new makeup or books or pens. (With the money you were supposed to use during lunch time)
Indulge in your hobbies during your me time.
If you noticed there is things that are repeated. You don’t have to repeat them. It’s just to keep in mind while doing them.
Have a general page for the week, an eating log a working out log and a study or work log if you are working
This is the best way to organise your life.
This is also the best gift you can give to yourself and the people around you. The fake people in your life will be irritated, will show their true Colors because they will not want to see you thrive.
the people that care about you will be inspired by you. You’ll create a snowball effect. You started up acting like the dream girl/boy/person you want to become. At some point it will become natural for you to act that way. You go from acting like the ideal version of you to becoming that ideal version of you.
I am not selfish so I am sharing this information with you. It is precious. I highly encourage you to use it to elevate your life.
One more thing. I know we might have never met. And we might never meet. But I believe in you. I believe you can do it. All of it. The working out. The productivity, the self care. The weight loss.
Dm me if you have any more questions and I’ll be happy to respond and give my opinion when asked about it. I can also be a shoulder to lean on. a friend that listens to you.
You got this. Get that journal. Get that pretty pen. Get those cute workout clothes and yoga mat. Get that skincare. Get that cute mug.
It all comes down to making that decision and sticking to it.
Your life starts now, the only limits you think there is are the ones you subconsciously put to self sabotage and to stay in your comfort zone. Change is uncomfortable. Change is scary. Humans are scared of the unknown. And they do more to avoid pain than to seek pleasure. Don’t be like the majority. Prouve them all wrong. Most importantly prouve yourself wrong. You’ll be pleasantly surprised.
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
Crime and Idiocracy
Isaac x Pickle
It’s time to relax and Isaac and pickle choose to watch a crime show but everything angers Isaac
It was supposed to be a relaxing evening. Pickle had curled up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, Isaac lounging beside them, his feet propped up on the coffee table. The two of them had decided on a crime drama something simple to wind down with after a long day. At first, everything seemed fine. The detective had found the first clue, the crime scene was intriguing, and Pickle was getting into it.
But Isaac? Not so much.
"Wait, hold on," Isaac said, frowning at the screen. "Why are they bagging the evidence like that? The glove wasn’t even put in a sealed bag what are they, amateurs?"
Pickle chuckled, shoving a handful of popcorn into their mouth. "It's just a show, Isaac. They can't get everything right."
Isaac sighed, clearly unconvinced, but let it go for now. They watched in silence for a few more minutes, the plot thickening as the lead detective found a suspect, but Isaac’s expression grew darker with every passing second.
"No," he muttered, sitting up a little straighter. "No, no, no, this doesn’t make sense. Why would the killer leave a clue that obvious? That's literally the first thing you’d check! What kind of criminal mastermind are they supposed to be?"
Pickle tried to suppress a laugh. They knew Isaac had a tendency to overthink things, especially when it came to mysteries, but this was next-level frustration. “Maybe it’s a red herring,” they suggested. “You know, to throw the audience off.”
Isaac scoffed. “Throw the audience off? It’s throwing me off. That’s not how real investigations work! The guy would be caught in two seconds. Look at him! He’s practically announcing he did it. And why is the detective just standing there, acting like he’s solved the case already?”
Pickle raised an eyebrow, amused. “You could always turn it off if it’s that bad.”
“No,” Isaac said stubbornly, crossing his arms. “I want to see how much worse this gets.”
Pickle giggled, leaning into him. “You’re such a critic.”
“I’m not being a critic,” Isaac replied, though he was clearly annoyed. “I just hate it when shows don’t even try to be accurate. Like look, they didn’t even take fingerprints from the weapon. How are they going to solve this case if they’re ignoring basic forensics?”
Pickle smiled, resting their head on Isaac’s shoulder. “It’s for entertainment. Not everything has to be realistic.”
But Isaac was far from entertained. The show continued to throw curveballs, none of which seemed logical in Isaac’s eyes. By the time the detective miraculously found the killer based on a single, vague clue, Isaac was practically fuming.
“Are you kidding me?” he exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. “There’s no way he could’ve figured that out from a smudge on a window! They didn’t even check the alibis properly, and somehow they’ve solved the case in one episode? This is nonsense!”
Pickle burst into laughter. “You’re taking this way too seriously,” they teased, nudging him with their elbow. “It’s just a guilty pleasure. It’s not supposed to be perfect.”
Isaac ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head in disbelief. “Guilty pleasure? More like guilty torture. Who writes this stuff? They didn’t even do the bare minimum of research.”
“Maybe they thought no one would notice,” Pickle offered, still chuckling. “But I guess they didn’t expect you to be watching.”
Isaac rolled his eyes, though a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Yeah, well, I’d make a much better detective. At least I wouldn’t trip over the obvious clues or let a murderer walk right past me because I’m too busy brooding about my tragic backstory.”
Pickle snuggled closer, trying to stifle their amusement. “You’d probably solve the whole thing in five minutes and ruin the suspense.”
“I’d rather solve it in five minutes than spend an hour watching someone bungle their way through it,” Isaac muttered, though he seemed to be relaxing a bit now, the initial anger fading. “At least try to make it believable.”
“Maybe next time we’ll watch something more up your alley,” Pickle suggested. “Like a documentary or something with actual facts.”
Isaac let out a soft chuckle, wrapping an arm around them. “I think that’d be better for my sanity. But if you really want to watch this ridiculous stuff, I guess I can put up with it… for you.”
Pickle smiled, enjoying the warmth of his embrace. “It’s not about the show, anyway. It’s about spending time together.”
Isaac glanced down at them, the frustration in his eyes replaced by something softer. “You know what? You’re right. As long as I’m watching it with you, I guess I can tolerate the nonsense.”
Pickle grinned and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. “Good. But next time, you’re picking the show.”
Isaac smirked, already thinking of something more to his taste. “Deal. Just don’t be surprised if I pick something with actual logic.”
#sakuverse#zsakuva#peppymintdreamsproduction#isaac rhoades x reader#zsakuva isaac#isaac#isaac rhoades#isaac x reader#isaac is angy
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
Be with me- JJK
Summary: Breaking up with Jungkook was supposed to be your freedom from his obsession, but he’s never been one to let go easily. His presence lingers, stalking you even in places you thought were safe. When you finally agree to meet him after the break up, what should have been a simple talk turns into a moment where you 'keep your promise'.
Pairing: yandere ex bf jungkook x ex gf y/n
Genre: smut
Warnings: yandere tendencies, unprotected sex, jk is a freak, dirty talk, voyeurism, rough sex, manipulation, stalking, dub con, sex while being unconscious, recording while fucking, tit slapping, name calling, nipple sucking, groping, jerking off, cumming inside, fighting, jungkook is crazy about yn.
Word count: 8.4k+
Writer: riri🧞
Writer's note: ⚠️this fic contains sensitive contents, which may be triggering to some readers, including adults. please refrain from reading if any of the warnings trigger you. if you still proceed to read my fic, you're on your own. i will not be responsible for your ass, respectfully.⚠️
���️MASTERLIST🖇️
🖇️CLICK HERE TO BE ADDED IN MY TAGLIST🖇️
You knew you were royally fucked when you laid in your ex’s arms that night, him stroking your hair softly as he drew invisible circles on the small of your back. This was it again. He was back in your life. You let him. You didn’t had a choice.
Thats when you realized
The only way to get rid of Jungkook,
Was to be with Jungkook...
You were a beautiful woman, with big eyes, a perfect body, pearly white teeth, and certainly popular among men. Jungkook absolutely hated how other men ogled you. You were his woman, not theirs. He couldn’t stand how you laughed with your male friends, or how your girlfriends giggled whenever a man eyed you from head to toe. He despised it. And you hated how overprotective he was.
His intense jealousy often ruined social events, and slowly, you began to isolate yourself from friends. You feared his angry outbursts more than you enjoyed your social life.
“Why were you talking to him for so long? Don’t you know how much it hurts me to see you with someone else? You belong with me, only me.”
He insisted on knowing your whereabouts, your schedules, and even installed a tracking app on your phone, claiming it was for your own safety. Jungkook loved you so much that he couldn’t bear the thought of you getting into any ‘trouble’. The world was too dangerous.
“I just worry about you so much. This way, I can always make sure you’re safe. You don’t mind, do you? It’s because I love you.”
His constant checking on you started to feel more like surveillance than care. You hated it, but you loved him.
At first, you found his constant attention flattering, but his possessive grip on your hand felt tighter with each passing day, as if he feared you might slip away if he let go.
“I can’t stand being away from you for even a moment. The thought of anyone else seeing you, talking to you… it drives me crazy. You’re mine, and I need you to know that.”
Jungkook wasn’t always like this, you swore to your friends. You knew he was a great boyfriend. They just didn’t know him the way you did. He took care of you, wanted to protect you from everything in this world. You were his heart. He often bought you gifts to show his love for you. You loved when he gave you a beautiful necklace, a token of his love for you that you were supposed to wear all the time.
“This necklace is a piece of my heart, Y/N. I want you to wear it always, so everyone knows you’re taken. Promise me you won’t ever take it off.”
As time went by, what seemed like a romantic gesture became a chain, a constant reminder of his possessiveness and ownership over you. Jungkook would get so upset if you ever forgot to wear it. Why did you have to remove it in the first place? Didn’t you love him enough to keep his necklace close to your heart?
“He’s too controlling!” your friends said, but Jungkook wasn’t controlling. He just wanted you to himself. You’re his girlfriend, right?
Jungkook wasn’t possessive or controlling, but he didn’t like when you snapped at him for being too possessive and controlling. Mind you, he was just teaching the guy a lesson for asking to buy you a drink. He had to teach him a lesson. So what if he broke his nose? So what if he threw a few punches? Nobody flirts with HIS woman.
“he wasn’t flirting with me!”
“Oh, shut up, Y/N! He clearly wanted to get into your pants!” Jungkook snapped.
You scoffed at his remark. Was he serious? So what if the man was flirting? He didn’t know you were taken. And even if he did, he didn’t deserve to get beaten up so brutally that the bar had to kick you both out and ban your entry in the future.
“This happens every time, Y/N! Every. fucking. time!” Jungkook was fuming.
“I don’t like it when they see you like you’re a piece of meat. Can’t you see how beautiful you are, baby? A body so flawless, men can’t help but be drawn to you. You’re mine… and I don’t like to share what’s mine…”
Damn. There he was again, turning a heated argument into an emotional conversation in the blink of an eye. You hated how smooth he was, how he’d come closer and wrap his arms around you, whispering sweet apologies in your ear. You hated how you always gave in to his embrace. It was like this every time. Your friends wanted you to break up with him, but he always had you like this. In his arms, where he glided his hand down to cup your ass firmly, giving it a possessive squeeze.
You hated how hot he was… so uncontrollably hot. And you hated how this night was going to end… yet again.
“F-fuck!” you whimpered at the animalistic pace Jungkook was pounding into you. Jungkook groans as your cunt wraps around him so wet and perfectly, grinding on him back and forth.
“You love it slut? Looking like a cock hungry slut for my dick. Gonna bust my nut right fucking now because of how wet you are.” Jungkook groaned, maintaining his pace, pounding hard and fast into to.
“O-only for y-your dick daddy! so big and hard” you mewled, a tiny droplet of tear falling out of your eye at the pleasure.
Jungkook was fucking good at fucking good.
“Yeah? gonna make make you cum so hard whore, you’ll forget your own name.” He moaned out, not slowing down his face. He loved the dirty talk during sex. and so did you. it was fucking hot.
Jungkook knew you were close when he felt you tightening around him. He took his camera, like he always did, and turned it on to record your precious expressions of the pleasure that he gave you.
He loved recording you.
And you loved to get recorded.
Jungkook thought you were the most beautiful woman in the world. Looked so fucking cock riding out your climax as your face contorted, letting out a thread of profanities from your mouth. He loved to keep a record of your beautiful tapes. Only for hime; Only for his eyes to see.
He kissed your temple lightly, cradling you in his arms after doing the deed. You looked so angelic after the afterglow.
“You did so amazing baby… so pretty moaning my name like that. i could listen to you for years.” Jungkook said, playing her tape, replaying her sweet moans again and again. Fuck, he means when he says that.
“Tell me Y/N, would you let me record you sleeping, baby…?”
You hummed lightly, lying boneless in his arms humming at whatever stupid request he was making. You were used to him rambling, you had jeon wrapped around your fingers.
“Really babe? you'd let me fucking record you while i use your body while you're asleep?”
Jungkook asked, excitement evident in his voice. Just the thought of recording your tape while youre sleeping… it turned him on so much.
“Promise me Y/N. You wont back off, right?”
“Alright, baby…” you murmured softly, your voice laced with exhaustion.
“You can’t back off now,” he whispered, his breath warm against your ear, eliciting another sleepy hum from you. He pressed a tender kiss to your temple, his fingers gently combing through your soft locks until you slipped into a much-needed, peaceful slumber. After what felt like an eternity, he carefully disentangled himself from your embrace and sat up, his back resting against the headboard of your bed.
Jungkook reached over to the nightstand, picking up his camera with a reverent touch. He lowered the volume to ensure your sleep remained undisturbed. His eyes gleamed with possessive pride as he played the video he had recorded just moments ago. Your face, captured in the throes of pleasure he had bestowed upon you, was a sight that fueled his obsession. He couldn’t resist the allure of watching his recordings of you over and over. To him, you looked utterly captivating, a vision of raw sensuality.
He was consumed by an all-encompassing obsession. He’d rewind the tapes countless times just to hear his name fall from your lips again. Each repetition sent shivers of satisfaction down his spine. He could lose himself in those recordings for days, weeks, even months, relishing in the intimacy they captured.
Only he deserved to see you like this. Only he had the right to make you scream in ecstasy. Only he was entitled to touch you in such intimate ways. He wanted to be the sole possessor of your every touch, every glance, every breath. The thought of anyone else witnessing your beauty, your vulnerability, was unbearable. You were his. His woman. He was your lover, your protector, your everything. Only he deserved to see your pictures and videos.
Hell, only he deserved to see you at all...
7:47 PM
You turned your phone screen off after checking the time, stretching your back as you rubbed your sore eyes. You got up from your chair, feeling your spine crackle and pop with relief. After all, you had been hunched over your laptop for the past two hours, grinding away at your English assignment. Even though they were enjoyable in their own way, but they could be a real headache, especially when it came to meeting Professor Smith's sky-high standards. She was a tough cookie, but thats what made her challenging assignments even more interesting. You wandered over to the window, taking a moment to breathe in the fresh air and clear your head now that you were free for the rest of the weekend.
You were hungry. After working your ass off on that assignment, you were finally free for the rest of the weekend. There was nothing better than cooking up something for yourself and sinking down on your bed to watch Bridgerton. The night was still young. You could hear the faint sounds of crickets coming from your bedroom windows, even though they were locked. you slowly opened the windows and felt the cool air caressing your face in the moonlight. You loved summer nights. You loved how lively they were and how the cool breeze flowed through the balcony of your apartment building, even though it was a hot season.
You slipped on your slippers, intent on cooking something quick for the night, when the faint glow of your phone screen caught your eye, indicating a notification received on silent mode. Curiosity piqued, you picked it up and saw a new message from an unknown number. The message was short, just a few cryptic words that sent a shiver down your spine. You couldn’t shake the strange feeling that crept up in your chest as you read it, like someone unseen was watching, waiting for your response.
[Unknown]: “All done with work, baby?”
You didn’t know who this person was or how they knew you were free now. A strange unease settled over you, but you couldn’t quite pinpoint why. Maybe it was curiosity, or perhaps a nagging sense of denial that urged you to dismiss "it". Taking a slow, deep breath, you hesitated before finally deciding to text the person back.
[You]: “Who is this?”
You hit the send button after which you got a reply almost immediately.
[Unknown]: “It’s me, babe. JK.”
So it was him again. “What did he want now?" You muttered to yourself, a mix of frustration and anxiety rising within. It had been three months since you finally ended things with him, discovering the invasive cameras he had installed in your home to monitor your every move. He didn't stop there; he even sabotaged your social media, deleting precious memories and controlling what you could share, claiming you were only meant for "his eyes" to see. You couldn't tolerate his manipulative and possessive behavior any longer, and that was when you finally decided to cut ties for good.
You still remembered how he acted up on the day you decided to end things with him...
“You cant do this to me! I love you!”
“I don’t care Jungkook! What you did was unforgivable. We’re done.”
Your words broke Jungkook. His hands were shaking, eyes filled with tears. He gave you your everything and you were breaking up with him, like nothing mattered to you. All he wanted was to protect you from everyone. You were his.
“No, we’re not done, Y/N. We are not done.”
He sees you stand near the window, looking out at the city lights, your arms crossed defensively. He’s sitting on the couch, his eyes fixed on you, a mix of desperation and anger in his gaze.
"I can't do this anymore. This-whatever this is-it's not love. It's suffocating.” You declared, your voice firm.
"I did all of that because I love you, dammit! I can't stand the thought of anyone else seeing you, touching you, being near you. You're mine, and I need to protect yo—“
”Protect me!? Really, Jungkook?” You scoff, turning to look at him, all desperate. You knew he was shaking, but didn’t know why. It could be sadness, anger or desperation. But you refused to gave in. “Protect me by Sabotaging my social media? Protect me by tracking my phone? By deleting my online presence? You deleted my emails, Jungkook!”
“This isn’t true, baby. I just want the best for you, pleas—”
“Get out of my house, Jungkook.” You cut Jungkook off. You knew you had pissed him off, but this needed to be done.
Jungkook didn’t like how straight off asked him to leave your apartment. You never told him what to do. so why now? he didn’t like it one bit. He stood up abruptly, knocking over the coffee table in his anger. His face contorted with rage and desperation.
"You can't leave me! I won't let you. You need me. No one else will love you like I do. You know that." Jungkook spat. “If you loved me, You’d have known i was doing this for us, Y/N! Goddamit!”
You flinched at his words, but your relsove did not harden.
“Get out before i report you for stalking and spying”
Jungkook’s face hardened.
“so you’ll report my love now, huh?" He narrowed his eyes, taking some calculative steps towards you.
“You’ll get no one, Y/N mark my words. No one who’ll love you like me. I have always loved you. I have always cared you for you. I have always wanted to protect you. cant you see that baby? i have always loved you, my angel. I can change, just give me a chance…” He spoke, his fingers gently brushing against your cheek.
You flinched at his touch, your resolve hardening. You did feel a little sad about the situation, but you knew you had to do it. You had to distance yourself from him. Whatever this was, it wasn’t healthy.
"It's too late for that. You need help, and I can't give it to you. Leave.”
“You think you’ll ever find someone like me, little brat? No one will want you! Because they dont love you the way i do! so stop being a bitch.”
“Jungkook. leave.”
He stared at her for a long moment, his eyes filled with a mix of hurt and fury.
“This isn’t over, Y/N.” Jungkook spoke as hep turned and walked out the door, slamming it behind him.
Jungkook didn’t take the breakup well. He was absolutely shattered when you ended things with him. He never expected it from you, and the shock was too much for him to handle. In the days following the breakup, his messages became relentless. He would text you at all hours, begging you to take him back, saying he couldn’t imagine life without you. At first, you tried to respond politely, but his persistence became overwhelming. It felt like every time you looked at your phone, there was another message from him, each one more desperate than the last. Eventually, you couldn’t take it anymore. His constant pleas were starting to get under your skin, and you needed space to move on. So, you blocked his number, hoping that would be the end of it. Since then, the silence had been a relief. But a small part of you couldn’t help but wonder if he had really given up, or if he was just biding his time.
Till today.
He was texting you with a new number…
[You]: What do you want, Jungkook?
[Unknown]: i just want to talk, Y/N.
[Unknown]: please...
[You]: No
[Unknown]: i want to make it right baby… i am not asking you to take me back. just please see me this once.
[Unknown]: just want a closure
[Unknown]: if you ever loved me you’d do this
[Unknown]: lets talk for the last time baby
[Unknown]: like adults
You sighed reading his messages. You knew he was watching you. there was no point in ignoring him. you just wanted to get this over with. You still loved jungkook but staying together with him was a BIG NO for you. You took a deep breath and typed out your next text.
[You]: Just talk right?
[Unknown]: yesss baby just wanna talk. don’t expect you to take me back
[Unknown]: miss your face
[Unknown]: let me see you for the last time :(
[Unknown]: i am outside your apartment building. know you are free right now.
[You]: Fine. But dont get your hopes up.
[Unknown]: i wont, i wont baby. be right there
You nervously started fidgeting around your room, playing with your fingers and pacing back and forth. It was sinking in just how dumb a decision you had made by inviting your ex over to talk. Not just any ex, but him. Jungkook. The thought of him coming over filled you with a mix of dread and curiosity. How did he even know you were free right now? You decided to push that unsettling question aside, focusing instead on the fact that Jungkook could arrive at any moment.
In a rush, you dashed to the bathroom to brush your tangled hair, hoping to look at least somewhat presentable, regardless of your relationship status. Anxiety spread through your body like wildfire as you heard the doorbell ring.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Jungkook was here.
And YOU gave him the permission to do so.
But you wanted to get this over with. nothing else. theres no way you and jungkook would get back together, he knew that too. it was just a friendly talk and you both will part ways after that. Taking a deep breath, you slowly walked over to the door.
Heart pounding, you opened the door to find Jungkook standing there, a small smile playing on his lips. "Hey," he greeted softly, holding up a takeout bag. "I brought us some food.
Thought we could eat and talk things through."
Food. Were we going to have a long chat?
You forced a smile, stepping aside to let him in. "Hey, thanks. That's really thoughtful of you." As he walked past, you caught a whiff of his familiar cologne, stirring up a whirlwind of memories.
You both settled on the couch, the tension in the air thick enough to cut with a knife.
Jungkook unpacked the food, handing you a container. "I got your favorite teokbokki" he said, his voice gentle, almost apologetic. "I remember you always loved this place."
He remembers…
You took the container, your hands trembling slightly. "Thanks, Jungkook. I appreciate it." You hadn't eaten all day and your stomach growled in protest, but a part of you was reluctant to accept anything from him.
Jungkook noticed your hesitation and frowned slightly. "What's wrong? He questioned. “You don't trust me?"
Absolutely not.
"It's not that," you lied, forcing a laugh. "I'm just not that hungry."
His eyes darkened for a moment, but he quickly masked it with a reassuring smile. "Come on, just a few bites. I promise, it's safe. I wont kill you or something." He said nonchalantly, making you gasp. You didn’t trust this man one bit. But you needed to get things over with.
Reluctantly, you picked up a fork and poked at the food. Your stomach growled again, louder this time, and you gave in. "Fine, but just a little." The corners of Jungkook’s lips turned upward at your decision.As you took a bite, Jungkook watched you intently, a strange glint in his eyes. "See? Not so bad, right?" You nodded, chewing slowly. "Yeah, it's good."
He relaxed slightly,opening his own container and taking a bite. "I've missed you, you know," he admitted after a moment, his eyes meeting yours. "I know things ended badly between us, but l've been thinking about you a lot."
You swallowed hard, your mind racing. "I've missed you too, Jungkook. But a lot has happened. It's not that simple. Especially after what you did. it makes me want to rethink my choices that why even are you in my house in the first place."
"I know," he replied, his voice earnest. "But i love you, Y/N. i really do. I might a been a little controlling but i never thought anything bad about you. I just wanted to look out for you, baby.” Jungkook sighed, before continuing. “But I want to make it right. I want to fix things between us."
You continued to eat, each bite filling your empty stomach but doing little to ease your nerves. The food tasted a little strange, but you brushed it off, just like you brushed off his bullshit. You didn’t wanna have this ‘i DiD wHaT i DiD bEcAUsE i LoVe YoU’.
"So, what have you been up to?" you asked, trying to start a conversation.
"Just the usual," he said, shrugging. "Work, gym, thinking about you. You know, the usual."
You laughed lightly, though it felt forced. "Yeah, I know the feeling."
After a few minutes of normal conversation. You did ease yourself a little in his presence. He didn’t seem too persuasive. Maybe he really just wanted to have a conversation. Though, it was unlike Jungkook but he did seem less Jungkook-ish this evening. And it wasn’t normal.
a normal Jungkook, a normal conversation and this bad headache.
Nothing was normal.
You started to feel dizzy, your vision blurring. "Jungkook... I don't feel so good," you mumbled, dropping your fork. Jungkook's expression shifted, a frown forming on his lips, along with a crease forming between his eyebrows. He was worried.
But was he? A hint of something dark flashing in his eyes. But he didn’t wanted to show it to you. Yet.
"Maybe you should lie down," he suggested, his voice smooth. "I'll take care of you." He said, getting up to hold you by your shoulders lightly.You tried to stand, but your legs gave out, and Jungkook caught you, his grip firm.
“Shh… its okay… you’re gonna be alright. Just a little headache and dizziness for an hour or so. you wont get unconscious, don’t worry baby.” He cooed, slowly guiding you towards your bedroom
Panic started to rise as you started to breathe heavy, your body growing heavier. Though you were still conscious, you had almost no control over your body. “What did you do?" you whispered.
"Shh," he soothed, brushing a strand of hair from your face as he laid you on the bed. "It's just something to help you relax. We need to talk, really talk, without any distractions. Gotta talk about your fake promises that you made with me, pudding."
Your vision blurred, and you fought to stay in control. "Jungkook, please..."
Your vision swam as Jungkook's words echoed in your ears, his tone shifting from gentle persuasion to something more intense. "I did everything to love you. Protect you. even built a shrine for our love." he murmured, his grip tightening on your arm. "But you left me. You broke your promise."
Fear and confusion clouded your mind, but his proximity and the drug's effects left you unable to resist. "Jungkook…" you managed weakly, your voice barely audible. He leaned closer, his breath hot against your ear.
"I can't let you go, i wont let you go," he whispered, his fingers tracing along your jawline. "You made a huge mistake by breaking up with me, Y/N. And i’ll make you regret it today. You’re mine.”
You swallowed hard, the weight of his words pressing down on you. Despite the fear of his threat, a part of you recognized the desperation in his eyes, a twisted kind of love. obsession.
"Okay," you finally breathed out weakly, hoping to calm him down, to keep yourself safe. Maybe agreeing was the safest option for now, a way to gain his trust. Deep down, you knew this was far from over, you played along, hoping to keep yourself safe from his dangerously twisted self.
His expression softened slightly, a manic gleam in his eyes as he pulled you closer. "I knew you'd understand. Had no choice. Gotta love you some more. Need to keep our promises alive." he murmured, a dangerous edge to his voice. Though his embrace was not something you should enjoy at the moment, you felt a surge of relief mixed with dread.
Your mind raced as Jungkook's grip on you tightened, his words cutting through the haze of the drug. "You're mine, Y/N." he whispered, his voice a chilling blend of possessiveness and longing. "No one else can have you."
You forced yourself to stay calm, nodding weakly in agreement."I know, Jungkook, I belong to you.” You managed to say, your voice trembling.
He nodded, a dark satisfaction crossing his features. "That's right," he murmured, his hand trailing possessively down your arm. "We'll fix everything. Just you and me."
You flinched inwardly at the intensity of his gaze, his touch sending shivers down your spine. "I'm sorry for leaving, kookie. I couldn’t see how much you were looking out for me." you offered softly, desperate to placate him, to find a way out of this nightmare.
Kookie. He missed that. He smiled, a hint of warmth in his gaze, contradicting his devious smile.
"You'll make it up to me, I won't let you go again." He insisted, his voice firm.
As his words sank in, a sinking feeling settled in your stomach. You knew this wasn't right, that you shouldn't have to endure this kind of control. But for now, you had to play along You were drugged by this man. And he was crazy.
Jungkook leaned in closer, his lips brushing against your ear. "You're mine forever," he breathed, his grip on you unyielding. "And I'll do whatever it takes to keep you." Fear mingled with resignation as you nodded weakly, hoping beyond hope that this little act of yours would finally set you free in the future.
"You have to understand," Jungkook continued, his voice low and urgent. "I can't let anyone else have you. If you try to leave again, I'll... I'll do things you wouldn't like, and you know how persuasive i can be, baby…" His words sent a chill down your spine, the threat hanging heavy in the air.
"Kookie, I didn't mean to hurt you. I just needed some time."
His expression darkened, his grip on you tightening almost imperceptibly. "Time? You had all the time in the world with me," he growled softly.
"But you ignored everything i did for you, Chose to walk away. You made me promise things, and you broke them."
Tears welled up in your eyes as you struggled to find the right words, to calm him down without provoking him further, despite being hazed. "I'm sorry," you slurred, your voice breaking. "I never meant to hurt you, baby…"
He studied you for a moment, his gaze intense and searching.
"I know," he finally said, his tone softening slightly. "That's why l'm giving you another chance…”
You sighed in relief, only to gasp after.
“Remember babe? You promised to let me record you…sleeping”
“P-promised you…?
“Tell me Y/N, would you let me record you sleeping, baby…?”
You hummed lightly, lying boneless in his arms.
“Really babe? youd let me fucking record you while i use your body while you’re asleep?”
“Promise me Y/N. You wont back off, right?”
“Alright, baby…”
“You can’t back off now.”
“Y/N?” Jungkook shaked you lightly, dizziness evident in your eyes.
“Yeah..?”
“I wanna fuck you and record you while you’re asleep. You wanted to earn my forgiveness, right? We can start off by completing the promises you made.” Jungkook said, almost in a quiet tone, staring right into your eyes.
You gulped in nervousness over his words. You had no choice.
You wanted to save yourself from Jungkook
and that could be only done
by being Jungkook’s…
You nodded sofly, a hint of small smile playing on your lips, as you stared at his beautiful brown eyes.
Jungkook looks so sweet. Too sweet that you almost forgot who he really is.
“Of course kookie… I’d do anything to earn your forgiveness…”
Jungkook slowly slumps down your unconscious body on the bed. He felt a surge of excitement, as he was finally be able to do what he had been wanting to, from a long time, and youd finally be able to keep your promise.
Promises aren’t meant to be broken, you both know that. Jungkook loved how he still had you in his arms even after everything that happened. Thats the power of the shrine he made at his home of your knick knacks. He knew his love held an immense power as you, the love of his life had finally decided to open your eyes and see what Jungkook was doing for you.
He was your savior. Your lover. Your life.
If it hadn’t been him, you’d have been so lost. so hurt, so vulnerable, so messed up. Mind you, you could have even be murdered by someone.
Or by Jungkook, if you weren’t his.
But you had Jungkook
He was your life. He knows it.
He stared down at your soft body, lying unconscious on your pink sheets, that smells like vanilla. Jungkook knew you loved him and wanted to prove it when you agreed to take on the sleeping pill 10 minutes ago. You were his. His to use, his to love, his to fuck.
It didn’t take Jungkook long to strip your clothes away from your body, laying you in nothing but your light pink cotton lingerie in front of his gaze. Even though he had seen you without them countless times, (well in the past), it felt like he went through a jolt of electricity, sending shivers straight to his spine, a smirk to his lips.
Jungkook's smirk turns into a wicked grin as he looks down at your unconscious body, his fingers staring to trace over the smooth texture of your skin. His eyes glint with excitement and desire, once seeing your fluffy breasts, his cock standing in salute.
"Fuck, you have amazing tits, baby..."
Jungkook mumbles to himself, as he takes a second to admire them before pulling your bra down to free your tits. Wasting no time, He leaned down, taking the soft flesh in his mouth, his lips wrapped around your nipple, sucking softly, swallowing around it, tongue flicking it inside his mouth. They were for him to squeeze, kiss, lick and pinch, after all.
He couldn’t get enough of you, like ever. And so, for a brief moment, he pulled away, releasing your wet and tortured nub, as we walks to his drawers, taking out the same camera he used everytime you to did stuff together.
"This is going to be so fucking hot. I am going to make you mine again, baby. I missed you so much…"
Jungkook turned on the camera. The small red light near the lens indicated the video had started recording. Jungkook makes his way to the bed again, where you were lying there completely at his mercy. He slowly settles himself down beside you, moving the camera closer to your body, recording every inch of you as if he was doing it for the first time. It was Getting hot. You were hot. Jungkook gulped as he slowly removed his white tee, showing off his soft traces of abs and the tattooed arm. He added a few more to his sleeve tattoo collection when you two were not together. Jungkook turned on the air conditioner and sets the temperature on 24. Perfect.
He drifts his attention back to you, his hands move up to your already freed and sucked tits, touching and squeezing them, making sure to get a close-up. His mouth finds a way to your neck, taking in a whiff as he kissed it slowly, his lips wet against your neck. His fingers knead into the flesh of your tits, nipples hard in his palm as he relieves his stress.
He then moves his hand down to your panties, slowly pulling them off as he continues to film. He lets out a satisfied hum when he sees a patch of slick on your panties, not much, but enough to say that you were turned on. In this state. This was how Jungkook made you feel. You were utterly the doe eyed boy’s, in every possible state. This is what true love is. He slowly moved your thighs away, taking a close up of your pussy. Hell, it wasn’t freshly waxed. Jungkook knew you liked to keep it clean whenever you both would get intimate. His heart almost swell in pride as he got a proof that you weren’t fucking anyone all this time. (Not that he didn’t knew it already, he always kept tabs on you.) It still had a soft little patch of hair, but not enough of to make an obstacle to film those luscious lips and needly clit of yours.
Jungkook starts to touch your cunt, filming his finger’s movement. He starts to rub your clit, watching your reaction, not that he expected any. He starts to whisper filthy things while recording the sinful act.
“Look how wet she’s for me. She’s so fucking hot. Fuck,"
The sight of your now slick wet cunt, being teased by his slender fingers made him extremely tight in the pants. Fuck, it was hard to jerk off to the footages of you in your room, doing your thing when Jungkook used to find ways to get his Y/N back. He had missed you so much. God knows how many times he had came in front of monitor just by seeing you change into your pajamas every night. Or when you crossed your legs while watching TV in the couch, wearing his favorite pink tank top.
He lost a month’s worth cum when he saw you playing with yourself with the toy HE gifted you. That was the only toy you owned. Only that thing was allowed to enter you whenever Jungkook wasn’t around. You were using his toy. Why? You wanted him. You need him. You needed Jungkook, isnt that why you used His replacement to calm yourself down. Why didn’t you use your fingers? They weren’t long enough? wrong. they didn’t satisfy you? No. Jungkook knew why. You obviously missed him. You wanted him back.
Jungkook continues to touch and record himself pleasuring you, his own desire growing with each passing moment. He slowly starts to finger you, starting with one finger, soon followed by a second one, making sure to capture the slick movements, the camera moving a little due to the jerks produced by his other hand working on you. "This is so hot, she's practically begging for it,"
Jungkook continues to finger you and suck on your nipples while the camera captures everything. How wet your pussy was. The slick. The wet sounds. Jungkook’s grunts. Your soft breathing followed but a few straggled breaths. Everything . "Look at her, she loves it. Such a dirty slut. My pretty Y/N. She needs my cock inside her."
Jungkook pulls his fingers out of you, admiring the wetness and a sticky thread of your juices joined between his fingers before bringing them to his mouth and sucking on them, followed by a satisfied hum as if just tasted a forbidden fruit. Well, technically yes, the only difference is this fruit wasn’t forbidden. It was completely his.
Jungkook then moves the camera away from your pussy and focuses it on himself as he undoes his pants, the metal of his belt makes a soft click sound as he pulls down his Blue Calvin Klein Denim jeans, followed the the pair of his black Calvin Klein Boxers. His painfully hard cock was already standing parallel to the floor, the veins on it as swollen as the bulbous head, sparkling with a drop of precum. He slowly start to touch his thick length while recording himself.
“You want this… My filthy Y/N. You want my cock inside you.”
Jungkook starts to jerk off, his hand moving vigorously over his shafts, focusing the camera to your body time to time.
“She doesn't know it but she is a slut. My slut.”
“She was stupid to even think about leaving me.”
“She missed me so much. I am going to fuck her so hard to show how much she means to me.”
Jungkook knew he couldn’t take it anymore. You were in front of his eyes after a long time. he needed to be inside you, and fuck you like he means it. He focuses the camera on your body once again and spreads your legs wide open, positioning his hips against yours, his hard and heavy cock being brushed against your folds. Jungkook groaned as he pushed the tip in, head being thrown back as he basked in the feeling of your tight walls. It always felt like first time whenever he fucked you.
“Fuck! Shit! Y/N I missed this cunt.”
In one swift movement he enters you fully, burying himself to the hilt. He can barely contain himself, his fingers dig in your waist as he fucks his cock inside you, his mouth letting out a guttural moan, pulling his length back just to pound into you again. and again. and again. The sound of your thighs meeting fills the room, with soft grunts and mewls of pleasure escaping Jungkook’s mouth, his eyes solely focused on the sight of your round tits bouncing with every thrust. So pretty, so round, so soft, all his.
Jungkook lips turn into a twisted crescent at the sight. Unable to hold himself any longer, he starts to squeeze and slap your unconscious tits, causing them to become red, which only fuels his desire to slap and squeeze them more, just how you loved it.
“You’re my cunt, bitch. Gonna Fuck this fact into you.”
Jungkook had noticed that you had started to stir a little, maybe the the reaction of the pill was slowly wearing off. He found you moaning unconsciously at the feeling of his cock pounding facts into you to the hilt.
“M-mhhh…k-kook ahh-“ He heard you mumble incoherently, feeling your walls clench around him tightly.
“Such a slut, just woke up and you’re already about to cum? You missed my dick that much baby?” Jungkook groaned, his thrusts becoming erratic as he chases down his own orgasm. It took him all his might not to bust a nut just right then at the feeling of you clenching around him so tightly.
“Gonna cum in you, you want that, right love?” Jungkook said, his hips never stopping to move against yours, as you slowly started to feel faint trickles of your orgasm, which got stronger and stronger with Jungkook’s pounding. You gasped loudly as he thrusted himself in you for the last time, emptying thick ropes of his cum inside you and filling you to the brim.
The room was quiet, the only thing that could be heard was the humming of air conditioner, and both of your soft breathing, as you lay on the bed beside, your back firmly pressed against his chest. You still felt a little drowsy due to the effect that pill had on you, but Jungkook had made sure to clean you up and change you to your comfortable pjs. The purple satin ones.
His face was buried in the crook of your neck, his fingers playing with the chain of your ‘pendant’ that Jungkook had bought you tonight as a gift for your union since you threw the last one.
“…do you forgive me ggukie…?” You mumbled, earning a soft hum from him.
“I forgive you, Y/N. But if this happens again-"
“It wont happen again.” You cut him off. “I promise, kook.”
His smile returned, though it lacked warmth. "Good," he said, his voice tinged with possessive satisfaction. "Now, let's forget about everything else. It's just you and me now, Y/N No one fucking else. I’ll kill them if anyone gets between us, Y/N.”
You hummed, finally surrendering to the situation that has you caught up in a fucking cycle. And you knew.
The only way to get rid of Jungkook,
was to be with Jungkook.
Jungkook felt you slowly drifting away, so he shifts you in such a way that you were lying on your back. He sat up, his back pressed against the headboard. He reached to the night stand and grabbed his camera, to see how you kept your promise to earn his forgiveness.
TAGLIST:
@rispwr @jkslipppiercing @jmstoesblog @iarchmybaculaa @frmisnow @lovelyglares @kookiecrumb @luvismenu @whatifyoulivelikethat @paletangerine @erotica-ficx @tatumrileyslover @chaelvrx @smartkookiee @jeonswifey @heinlous @urmomluvsrose @velvetskize @elithenium @jeonaissance @jeonlvly
🖇️CLICK HERE TO BE ADDED IN MY TAGLIST OR JUST DM ME🖇️
i was supposed to post this on halloween 😭 but had been so so busy with college. my exams are coming up so I won't be able to post as much, please keep supporting.
please like and reblog
-riri🫐
#jungkook#jimin smut#jungkook smut#bts jungkook#bts jk#jungkook x reader#bts jungkook smut#jungkook drabble#yandere jungkook#yandere!jungkook#taehyung smut#bts#bangtan#bts smut#bts x reader#jeongguk smut#jjk smut#jjk fanfic#jksmut#jjk x reader#jeon jungkook x reader#dom jungkook#kpop smut#bangtan smut#pjm smut#taehyung#bts drabble#jungkook oneshot#bts oneshot#bts imagines
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
Kate Kane and Bruce Wayne sharing their awkward exploits with their partners.
Bruce: What’s the most awkward experience you’ve had with a partner?
Kate: Oh, it would have to be the time I climbed out of a window after sleeping with a woman who had terrible b.o..
Bruce (intrigued): Care to elaborate? That doesn't exactly paint you in a flattering light.
Kate: Okay, hear me out... She reeked. From her hair to her skin to her clothes, everything was just rancid. Her pet ferret smelled better! But, to be fair, she was really attractive, and she took me to see Six.
Bruce: And what kind of seats did she get?
Kate (sighing and closing her eyes): Box seats, right by the stage.
Bruce: I get that, but surely the smell had to ruin the experience.
Kate: Look, I served in the army; I thought I could handle it. Plus, she was really hot. I held my breath for most of it. I managed to stick it out for about seven minutes before I ducked out while she was asleep. Thankfully, I hadn’t brought much with me, and I never called her again.
Bruce: So, you ghosted her because she smelled so bad?
Kate: Have you ever smelled durian?
Bruce (grimacing): Yes, unfortunately.
Kate: Yeah, it was that level of bad. I tried to make it work; she was sweet, but man, that body odor was something else.
Bruce (sarcastically): Thank goodness the military prepared you for situations like that.
Kate: Exactly! Now it’s your turn, cuzzo.
Bruce (hesitant): Well… it wasn’t my finest moment with Vicki Vale.
Kate (intrigued): Oh, do tell.
Bruce: So, Vicki and I were in a… compromising position in her bedroom, and the clams we had for dinner were not sitting well in my stomach.
Bruce: So, Vicki and I were in a… compromising position in her bedroom, and the clams we had for dinner were not sitting well in my stomach.
Kate: Why would you eat clams if they—
Bruce (interrupting, blushing): I like clams, that’s all you need to know! I wasn’t about to use her bathroom in that situation! So, I… I made an excuse and just left her apartment.
Kate: Right after?
Bruce (ashamed): I literally ran out while she was reaching her peak. I told her I couldn’t go on, and then I cut off all contact.
Kate (laughing): That’s worse than my experience! Clams are always a gamble.
Kate shook her head, still chuckling at her cousin’s misfortune.
Bruce: Can you not mock me? Vicki still hates me to this day.
Kate: You didn’t even let her finish! You left her hanging in more ways than one.
Bruce groaned, covering his face in embarrassment.
Kate (chiding): Honestly, you would have been better off saying you were Batman and the Bat-Signal went off.
Bruce: I actually thought about it! I was genuinely debating whether to risk revealing my identity or make her feel inadequate. Anyway, she ended up cursing me out a few weeks later.
Kate (crossing her arms): You were weighing those two options instead of just using her bathroom?
Bruce: I know how it sounds, but you just don’t do that in someone else’s bathroom when you’re hooking up on the third date.
Kate: So, the 'Master Detective' is not quite the master of romance, then?
Bruce: Clearly not.
Kate: Welcome to the club. Also, these stories remain secret between us.
Bruce: Totally, totally, totally.
Kate playfully punched Bruce on the arm.
#batfamily#kate kane#Kate and Bruce being sibings#kate and bruce bonding over them sucking at relationships#batman#batwoman#bruce wayne#batfamily shenanigans#batfam shenanigans#batsiblings#kate and bruce suck at dating#dc comic#batfamily chronicles#batfamily headcanons#kate and bruce#batfamily fanfiction#batfamily fluff#batfamily funny#batfamily comedy#microfiction#flash fiction#headcanon batfamily#batfamily microseries#dc batfam#dc batman#script fic#part of my batfamily microseries#batfamily fic#batfamily microfiction#batfamily chronicles microseries
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
Me, with the unpopular opinion that, in a wq lives au, where wq marries jc, novel canon wwx is not taking well the news about chengqing marriage
#Like post res wwx doesn't have nice thoughts about jc#I imagine him thinking: 'look jc hates me so much he has forced wq to marry him. Because it's a forced marriage. Why else would she have#Married jc??#Look at jc hating me so much he has ruined his and wq's life. Do you see him lz?'#And then idk. wwx is such a wild card#Maybe he would have forgotten the murder mister to investigate (apparently) forced chenqing marriage#While wq is already very done because jc is fretting over jl's first haunt. Their beloved daughters first day of school#Yes jc they have everything already. Lotus pier it's their sect... WHAT A-NING IS THERE? MY A-NING?#This au is probably wild#Who knows what wn feels there. Like Imo he doesn't like jc. Maybe even hates him. Uh#Someone should write something like that please
344 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just finished the third season of Bridgerton (it was an incredibly frustrating watch)...People have said that Penelope is named as such because of her nickname Pen and her being a writer... but has anyone thought of the reference to the Odyssey and Penelope being the wife of Odysseus? You know, she had to be loyal for 20 years while Odysseus gallivanted across the globe and was distracted/cheating on her Circe? I feel like it goes with the whole Polin narrative too. She's the one who had to wait for him to get a clue. And if you've read the Penguin version of the Odyssey, you know everyone is like omg! Odysseus, so amazing, the sacker of cities etc. Which parallels Colin's "glow up". Totally think it's more of a literary reference since the two of them are writers...
#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3#colin bridgerton#penelope featherington#polin#don't know how much this works for the book#didn't read the books#I ranted at my sister for an hour straight about this season (behated)#wtf was the character arcs for any of the characters this season? a whole lot of nothing..#the writers literally set everything up and then did everything in their power to make the arcs pointless#soooo many crimes of telling instead of showing#bridgerton was never high art but season 1 and 2 landed character and the audience buying into the relationships and cheering for the coupl#disappointed#literally feel like I hated polin in what was supposed to be their season#colin vascilates wildly... and there are like two scenes where i recognize the character he was is season 1 and 2#literally hated him for soooo much#really hate how the season wasn't about the couple but whistledown#and yet they couldn't show us WHY Penelope wants to keep being Whistledown besides telling us why so I just don't get why#they could not decide if whistledown is good or bad and settled on girlboss power!#but here i am like girl... you're ruining lives... you've ruined lives... it's just gossip#they literally screwed over all their characters for nothing#their scenes of intimacy don't land because they feel incredibly paint by numbers and often occur after intense confrontations#confrontations that do not logically make sense for sexy times#the mirror scene exists purely as plot so colin can later accuse Penelope of trapping him in marriage#like that's suuuuper ick#they made colin so incredibly ick i don't recognize him or want him with Penelope#even Penelope making the choice to be whistledown over her new family was insane and illogical based on how the plot developed#i watched the seaon twice to really pin down how I feel and ended up rewatching season 1 and 2 because season 3 part 2 pissed me off so muc#and it's sooo night and day#i just feel sad because i wanted to root for this couple too... but they made it unrootable
46 notes
·
View notes
Text
thinking abt the ggy easter eggs rn
#im so ready for whateber theyre cooking#this is like the only era rn where the sw games arent interesting me rn im so ready to want to engage again#plz focus on ggy vanny gregory vanessa cassie and not cassie dad mapbot dying absent father doing nothintnfor the story#and a game based totally off of books instead of the other way around#i really hope SW games dont become super tftp oriented#as in they make games based off of books instead of the other way around#that would suck majorly#a ggy game would be new content based off of game lore that does exist for ggy and not the book#like patient 46 and his canonical mysterious past#plus everything the tapes said he did#it could be so good#i really want to just see like. any progression of the story#outside of very basic ideas like 'vanny cassie' that are probably going to happen but are so bare bones#theres not much you can think about#insyead of useless plots like cassies dad. sorry but its true if hes the hw2 story he does nothing#nothing that cassie couldnt have also done if shes the protag#i know that sotm has to happen before they can progress so im being patient#but man#i hope we get more stuff like ruin that has good linear on screen storytelling and is more character oriented#everybody liked ruin but not everyone likes sotm#when hw2 came out i saw soo many opinions not just by me and the moots or something but just#fans on twitter diehard or casual#that hated how hw2s story was handled#people actually want storytelling now at sb and ruins scale instead of old school barely comprehensible frustrating lore#thats what sotm feels like its leaning into and im not excited#i hope its a one time thing since its a good chance to do that#a game that already takes place in the og fnaf days#before it even#of course its a good idea to put old school easter eggs and characters and story and stuff of the og days#i just miss my guys :(
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
And here is the bull himself >:)
+ lore notes
I was like, ah I should make the shadow something interesting, and then I'm like GIVE HIM BULL HORNS???? OKAY SURE !!!!! I'm glad such thoughts can strike at 7 in the morning....thanks brain. But hehehe I'm glad bcs now this matches up super well with the Nando one!
New ship dynamic: who's the bull and who's the matador :)
I think, in this AU, Fernando is generally pretty fond of Seb when he first meets him. Like "ah yes my very own protégé, very nice, I shall mold him in my image." But then Seb starts veering off that course. Bullfighting is all about being dramatic, but Seb maybe has a bit too much(🤏) flair for the dramatic. This escalation starts while he's still Fernando's assistant but he keeps it generally at bay. But god when he becomes a matador himself, he's just off the rails insane.
Bullfighting, to me, is a sport about reckless endangerment of one's self in the pursuit of drama and performance(its literally described as a tragedy in three acts.) But Fernando thinks Seb endangers himself *too* much, not because he cares or anything, but he's making a mockery of the sport!! Especially when Seb starts doing that bull hand symbol(seen above), Fernando just keeps become more enraged with him, not anything to do with the fact that Seb is threatening his records and threatening his own wellbeing, nah of course not.
Seb's gesture is making a mockery of the sport, he's disrespecting the culture, the very nature of it, blah blah blah. Jenson once asks Fernando, after noticing him seething while watching Seb do his gesture, "Which bull are you really trying to defeat?" One could also describe Fernando and Seb's relationship as a "tragedy with three acts."
Anyways Fernando gets very tied up with this rivalry. Even after suffering a severe injury(I have yet to decide, but y'know mchonda electrocution core), he quickly returns to the sport, loath to let Seb get any more headway. And then Seb gets injured, poor little sweet Seb, and neither of them can handle it. Though I already covered this in my prev lore post 🤭 and I think I put it pretty viscerally there so!! I digress.
They're both matadors, but the bull itself is not the only bull Fernando wants to conquer. Conquer as in death? Hm.
#i love matador au all my homies love matador au#<- its a lot of fun for me to draw and easy to have ref for :) so its like my little comfort drawings#even tho i want to sob every time i write any of the lore down bcs it is so </3#ah i just like how visceral it is ig#f1 is a dangerous sport but bullfighting is just. such another level of maniacs 😭#ive talked abt this a lot w cofi lmao its just super interesting to me. just the whole mentality and display and culture of it#also just: trajes de luces go brrrrrrr#ah one day ill draw both of them in green suits 🤭🤭#i had a chibi art of this au i was working on bcs i didnt have mental energy for a full thing#or at least i THOUGHT so#ive had the refs for this since 2 wks and im like YOU WILL FINISH THIS bcs i rly liked the pose 😭#so then i just drew for like 5 hours straight. yknow as one does#and wrote this post at uh. 8 am. normal time for one to be drawing and writing. as one does.#WELL ANYWAYS PLEASE ENJOY MATADOR SEB#this au grips me the throat 😭 i rly enjoy it 😭#i have a lot of thoughts ab the au lore itself but also drawing these is very no thoughts head empty <3#also god side note. pink stockinks. i hated the idea of them at first. but now im like hehe hot pink time 🥰🥰#its crazy how it doesnt clash that much??? i thought it would ruin the outfit but ah they suit everything p well#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#catie.art.#matador au
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
everyone talks about how people being mean to them about their appearance in middle school or high school — or whatever time in their young adult lives — negatively influences the way they act when they’re hit on or develop crushes is so real, except the person who was mean to me was my mother so i’m fighting so many beasts at once and i’m so scared girls
#misc.#i hate talking abt this bc like i’m so ashamed i could ever care this much abt it#but like it’s killing me. it’s been killing me for my whole life#i have never ever ever ever thought i was pretty for more than a day at a time#i think my worth as a person is tied to how i look. like in a deep ingrained way bc i KNOW that’s not the truth. i know it with everything#in me. but as a child i was not taught that#i was taught the version of me that could be loved was a perfect one and any straying from that would be the end#and i can’t even fathom that a person may like me. that’s sickening. that’s so terribly unkind to think abt myself#it’s ruining my life. i want to be so much more than this person#i don’t even want to be pretty i just want to not have think about it ever again. i want to not care#body tw#body image tw
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
SVT coming to Europe for the first time ever in 9 years (not counting Gastonbury, cause that was sold out a year before they were announced, so carats didn't get a chance to go) and it's not even going to be ot13 should be a crime.. AND IT'S BECAUSE OF A SCHEDULE?!
#maja talks#i'm so upset for real#like i'm happy for jun and all but really?#you announced lollapalooza long ago and now suddenly he's got something else?#i'm not even going but got fuck you hybe i hate you so so so much#i will never not be angry about hybe ruining my chances to see svt live#like fuck you so much#(but maja covid was the reason for the 2020 cancelations yeah but hybe is the reason they never got rescheduled!!!)#i saw one of my mutuals from like 2015 make a post a couple of years ago about how she got to see svt as 13 four times in one year#and here i am as a european being shit on for 9 years straight#i hate it here so much and i'm so upset and i probably shouldn't be this upset but i am#fuck hybe and fuck bang shihyuk and fuck everyone that made that fuckass company so powerful#i hate it so much#i knew they were never going to take coming to europe seriously after joining that fuckass company#and yet i can't help but be so damn disappointed#it's been 9 years...#i remember where i was when the 2020 europe dates were announced#i was sitting in a train and i was so happy i was shaking so hard#i got a ticket with a great seat for the Berlin concert and i was so happy#i've never been so excited and happy#and then covid happened and everything got cancelled and they never even addressed it#they only ever said “we were sad the tour ended earlier than expected” in their yt documentary and that was the only mention of it#then the japan dome tour had to be pushed forward (not even really cancelled if i remember correctly) and they made wholeass apology videos#saying how sad they were and blah blah blah still no mention of europe at all#then like the day after europe got cancelled they uploaded a video of hoshi dancing with fans at one of the us stops#and it really just felt like they stepped on my heart and threw it in a trashcan lol#then they joined hybe and hybe got obsessed with dynamic pricing and ruined everything#ruined all chance of us seeing them as ot13#(maybe they'll finally acknowledge us for real when they get back from enlistment in maybe 6 years but who knows)#i for real shouldn't be this affected
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Some people just can't accept Gilkidu, huh....
#I had such a lovely day after being blessed by Gil and him being together with Enkidu but then someone decided to ruin it#thank you. thank you so much#I hate internet#sometimes I just wish to delete everything and just disappear#because you can't enjoy simple things anymore#and sure I can sound like a hypocrite since I also disagree with a lot of things and criticize them and it's okay to criticize#but I never come to people under their posts (unless they themselves wish to hear my opinion) and say xyz#just let me enjoy at least some things in my life#personal
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
lazy scribbling of my baldur's gate 3 characters
#*emerges from 430 HOURS of life-changing playtime blearily like a lost and confused kitten*#i lost my interest in drawing bc everything is too sad & horrible right now. it was a luxury and privilege to lose myself in this instead#what follows will be my personal and trivial emotions about that#i'll do better proper drawings later. for me. they are both so very dear to me... deeply dear...unforgettable journeys of fate#truly have played like one possessed for the past few weeks. you have no idea. what do i do now. what do i do.#their personalities are so vivid to me though they mostly made the same choices. both intersex and they/them - canonically <3#i missed out on FOUR PARTY MEMBERS in my first playthrough due to not understanding anything whatsoever.#gloaming ended up with wyll and pavane romanced karlach and astarion. and ended up with the one i did NOT plan on. this wasnt the plan#one of the most fulfilling romance paths i've ever..i cant say more..it all got too immersive and now i have to just.. MOVE ON ??????????#live in THIS world where i can't gut imperialism personally and emerge alive from that?#without Long Resting? without my character requesting a kiss from their beloved after a tough day ??#without preparing my little spells? without channelling divinity from my death god to keep us all alive?#without dyeing my man's clothes fancy colours for him? without him Approving whenever i lie and double-cross our enemies#without sharing clothes with my ex? without choosing to eat the heavy food first so that the weight is easier on her Carrying Capacity?#without orchestrating ways for all of my friends to kill the abusers that ruined their lives for a decade or even 200 years?#without experiencing degrading horrors on a daily basis but in a cathartic way where we always make it back to our rooms at the inn#WITHOUT SPEAK WITH ANIMALS???????????#at least there's music. just like with persona 5 that will always be with me. always#like how p5 melodies take me back to those feelings. those rich and personal feelings.... BUT THIS WAS A WAY MORE NUTS EXPERIENCE#i thought i would hate it. i did at times. thought it would desensitise me to various things. it did. but there was so much more..it was...#Well anyway *continues my life* imagine if dnd was real..something to think about
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
I kinda wanna make a sona of some sort maybe it'd help my horrendous self-esteem n make me feel cute Lol*BURIES HEAD INTO THE EARTH
#diary#it's really just appearance these days.#Which sucks cause it's the one thing I can#can't/won't compromise(?) on#cause really it's just my FACE that haunts me. Oh man I wish I didn't know what I look like#dull and ugly and unpleasant; hard to look at#IT RUINS EVERYTHINGGG#my body's not even an issue atp cuz everything I wear's baggy + I want top surgery for passing + comfort reasons only#I dress comfy n that's all I want; my hair's OK when God doesn't hate me#but my face.... Oh God I hate it so much
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
i think i exist solely to be misinterpreted i dont know how to actually reach anyone my existence is just people looking at me and & rolling dice 2 see if theyll misinterpret me in a good or bad way && it is almost always bad
#people thinking im rude when i dont even know whats going on im just Standing Here or saying smthn w positive meaning but they dont see it#i have never in my life met anyone irl who doesnt instantly dislike me. and i MEAN that. i am so hateable my existence hits the switch#i dont. do anything i dont have any malice in me at all i try 2 be polite as hard as i can just because thats my default. thats me#i think thats where my ed comes in so hard. its always like well if u just get small enough people will like you. itll give u the chance.#im too big im too much of a nuisance i take up too much space im always in the way i need to be as small and likable as i can or everyone#will always hate me. theyll always despise me and im the reason im the one ruining it#ive only ever had like 2 actual friends (online) they looked at me n went yeah ur cool im gonna see the things u do as endearing & positive#even the one friend i have now constantly thinks im doing things negatively n scolds me for it. .... n man it feels Bad#even my therapist does it#i still think about my first therapist asking me if i think anyone can understand what im saying#maybe they cant#it makes me feel so lost o(-<#do i even exist if i cant reach anyone#i feel like tumblr is the only place i hav where ppl understand me#but maybe thats just because ive gathered a lil community of ppl who see me in a positive light#n thus the things i say r good instead of bad#maybe i dont make any sense and im the only one who cant see it#my bf is the only one ive ever felt actually understands me n i understand them n that does mean the world 2 me#but man. in everything else i am so lost#i am so inhuman and it is obvious#it feels like everyone else is on a different floor level & building than me an im just looking through the window#and theyre deciding whether im a creep or someone gazing out 2 enjoy the day
5 notes
·
View notes