#shes happy im home at least

[lyricsandpapers]

I don’t want to be In Charge

[elviraaxen]

I'm probably not the first to admit this but goddamn was I a narcissistic prick when I wasn't on stimulants

[afterthelambs]

cw: misogyny, toxic fans

im not caught up with MHA so no explicit spoilers but apparently deku and uraraka didn't canonically end up together and now dudebros are being absolutely disgusting towards uraraka. And im not surprised, they've only ever seen her as an object after all. They switched on her the second she stopped being a prize, moving onto the next girl they find hot (even if it makes zero sense)

I dont recommend going into the replies of any of them, it's full of sexism. They literally cannot fathom that a crush storyline could be used for anything other than being the mc's prize. The fact is that uraraka's crush was used as a foundation for her to relate to and connect with Toga. Whether or not she ended up with Deku is irrelevant. Her growth depended on her relationship with another girl--not the protagonist-- and they can't stand that.

[rapidhighway]

the word "weird" should be forbidden until yall stop fucking calling any behavior that isnt sitting still in silence and staring at phone "weird"

[perilegs]

being homesick and changing as a person so much the place you grew up in isn't your home anymore is such a core part of ati and upon further inspection i think i was projecting a little

[saeshiraw]

tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

i think i finally realized why ive been feeling so damn depressed lately again

sorry for writing this here. im really hurting actually. im not good. i feel a bit helpless too. idk who to talk to bc i dont want to burden anyons and i donf feel like anything could console me right now

Like. fuck me man. thanks for saving me but. why the hell are you not here. i dont want to do this without you. i hate only being able to remember you. i was supposed to grow old with you, not without you.

And. honestly. even with all this bullshit i say here, all the endless times i spend trying to write down my feelings, abt you, about all the pain ive felt my life, it doesnt get better. not at all. and no words, no poetry takes it away and i truly feel like nobody will ever truly understand how suffocated i felt all my life.

and i want to change thanks to you but. i dont know. nothing's satisfying enough.

no matter what, i truly only feel great when im in that daydream like world you created.

and these past days ive been thinking a lot that. i really wouldnt mind dying right now. not at all. because at least i know what happiness feels like. and i want to stay in that state. probably, even in this life your music will bring me happiness, but i want to be trapped in it.

im tired of being so unseen, and even when im seen, im hurting. but i dont know whats hurting. i think im just really tired thats all.

and. ye. i feel brave tbh. i still havent posted my video to instagram, bc im not brave for that. i dont know. and i feel like a hypocrite bc everything is true that i wrote there but at the same time these are my thoughts currently

in a long while i looked up suicide methods again. i feel so hopeful, but im not really sure if really for the future. jm sorry this is probably alarming. i will probably not kill myself but. idk. im not sure actually. i dknt know what to say. i wasnt cut out for this wordly shit.i feel unlovable but even if im loved, i donf want to be. i dont want anything. just let me stsy in this quiet place snd just. disappear. i wouldnt want my family to hurt if i die but i wont know about it anyways. idk man. i feel strongly i could die calmly this time and thats nice. bc 6 years ago i was terrified, and hurt. but now im content and kind of ready idk man. its not a terrible feeling, its a "this is it, it was nice while it lasted" ig.

there are no clouds in my head actually. i truly dont feel like im thinking irrationally, i feel like this would just be like. the end goal i was looking for. to feel true love once. it was nice.

no goodbye yet bc idk how id kms even if i do. But ill tell u guys if i found something.

[mothpdf]

.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[abstract-crossverse]

Made another welcome home oc, idk why but Dawn didnt satisfy me, this one though... I love her

Her name is Maple Moth

Shadowless ver. Under the cut

[sofarsogoodsowhat]

my mom told me the johnny cash records i took were probably my grandpa’s :) the wham + george michael + all the new wave shit was hers and all the rock ones were my weird republican uncle’s and now im getting my freaky gay hands all over em

[vanibear]

mothers really know how to make you dysphoric in a very specific way

[shayberri789]

I'm a little hurt by some of my irl friends and have two courses of actions, but which will both have similar outcomes

Basically, I have three creative irl friends. Every time they share their writings with me (be it fics, poems, stories or creative non fic), I ALWAYS read it as soon as I'm able and give feedback + healthy amount of gushing.

But whenever I write something I am proud of and I share it with them, none of them acknowledge it. Its like they don't see the link you know. And its fine because I just say "I wrote a thing" and give a link. I'm explicitly asking for feedback or validation. I can't be upset because they're not mind readers

But sometimes I explicitly DO ask them "hey did you see what I wrote?" "Hey, what do you think of this?" And i get half assed responses at best. "Oh its good" "uh ill read it when I get home *never hears about it again*". And that's a little more frustrating.

Earlier today I needed to put together a portfolio, and asked my two best friends to please read through it, because it was important and I needed their input on (1) thing, and I needed it *before the end of the day*. It was three pages of easy reading. Its not like I was asking for concrit or editing or something time consuming.

One of them skimmed it and gave me feedback. The other one is adhd and forgot. Said she'd read it later when I reminded her. When I reminded her again, she said she forgot and had made plans, can she do it in the morning?

And normally I'd say that's fine! Because I don't expect immediacy from my friends online, esp for favours. But I had a deadline, and this was the third time this particular friend has done this. There's only so many times I want to poke someone to read my shit before I start feeling like I'm bragging/attention seeker/being entitled and demanding. So I just went and asked someone else.

I know I'm valid to feel hurt about this, and frustrated. I also know that my friends don't mean to make me feel like this, or forget. I know they want to support me. But I'm also tired of getting burned so I'm just going to fucking stop trying to share my writing with them because instead of validation I'm getting pain.

My two options are either a) telling my friends that actually their silence and forgetfulness hurt me or b) just lettint it go

Either way, I'm not reaching out again. B) seems like the option less likely to hurt my friends/make them feel bad, so I'm leaning to that. If the roles were reversed, I'd rather option A), because when people tell me these things I do genuinely try to do better in the future, and I know my friends would feel the same. But I've also lost faith in their ability to do so in this area. Idk what I should do

[felidthing]

i just had a very long complicated dream about some very ooc homestuck kids. jade might be rooted in some form of fanon at least but i dunno

[marsbotz]

slamming my fists against the floor like an animal thinkinh abt dadfario

[indiegame]

today was. good. yeah. needed that.