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alias-b · 4 years ago

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OKAY. So, I wasn’t gonna dignify this with an answer, but I’m feeling super good and starting my vacation and have few things to lose tbh. I blocked you, but you’ll find a way back if you feel this is really worth it.

You certainly found it worth it enough to slap that anon button to insult me and dress it up as idk ?? being helpful & even kind in your mind?? If you followed my fics, you know the nasty msgs I get monthly so why would I take a personal jab as from a good place? Why would anyone mean to act “holier than thou” ???? Telling me you’re not coming from a bad place....yet you still went anon bc you knew how this read. Hm. Anyways....to answer, I’ll just unpack this neatly:::

1) ???? When did I say ANY of that even in a talk down/negative context??? lmao I even searched my asks trying to find myself being this rude. Slide into my DMs and let me know bc from my POV, you’re blatantly misreading something or making it up?? I’m confused and of course, I’d never want to come across any kind of way like that! If I ever mention young ppl, I mean actual teenagers in fandom spaces that adults get nasty interacting with. Ppl in their 20s/30s+ really need to be mindful about interacting with ppl under 18 and attacking them or being creepy and inappropriate with them/their content. Don’t twist my words.

Ppl who write thin OCs still get hate on their fics lmao, I did. But they don’t get constant hate generally based on their size or race. ((Also like...we’re all aware of fatphobia & racism in fandom and what types of OCs/characters are targets for that...esp if they’re being paired with favs... Writers of color are absolutely also allowed their frustrations with racism in fandom spaces btw too. Do not talk over them. Just listen and be aware. Do your best.))

2) I absolutely DO NOT think I’m better or “more moral/braver” than any other writer on here wtf, I consider myself even “still young” and learning... I’m in my 20s, I’m not a fandom gma trying to police anyone??? As long as you’re living your best life, surrounded by the best content YOU want, go tf off, sis!!! We’re all in a pandemic here trying to get by.

Writing is always a growing process and we’re doing it for free, it’s not perfect and always is a skill that gets better as we do it. I try not to compare myself to others, my fics are mine and that’s IT. I’m allowed to be proud of what I’ve created and I encourage all writers to do the same. A lot of writers are happy and patting themselves on the back for what they created but I’m NOT taking digs or doing it cause I think I’m some brave crusader on a mission. I’m too tired for that bull. I don’t get/want cool points for anything. Have you sent these concerns to any one else for doing the same??? Or are you irked I’m trying to uplift MY fat character?? That I get constant hate for??? More reflection for you.

3) I’ve been incredibly supportive of OCs of all shapes and sizes. I’ve gotten asks shading thin/white “model” ocs and only ever preached patience and support to all oc writers bc it’s never right to bring someone down to lift someone else up. It’s never right to shame a writer not hurting anyone. All OCs are good OCs. That’s the point I always make!! Writing is hard. Finding face claims is hard. Making whole ass humans for a fictional world is hard. So, I’m constantly posting/replying to be open and understanding with writers, whatever they do. It’s their fic. Their characters. Their choices. All OCs are valid.

No one is obligated to make a specific type of OC, just make the OCs you want to see. I don’t think it’s right to hate or shade ANY writer/OC and I make it clear in asks that try to suggest otherwise. Maybe go reread them before slapping that brave anon button again to come from ‘a good place.’

4) Evie is ONE of FIVE OCs I’ve written on this account. And the only plus size OC of them too so IDK why I’d ever act ‘holier than thou’ about a SINGLE OC when the numbers are 1 of 5 here... I’m not gifting the fandom the gift of me, I’m just writing content I enjoy. I’m gifting it to my damn self. There’s no crusade. There’s no BIG STATEMENT UWU. She’s not some political piece, y’all can be so dehumanizing with that toward fat characters or characters of color. Just let them exist proudly. If you don’t like it maybe they’re really not for you!

Evie’s literally just a character I created that I adore. Fat characters exist and they can be whatever we writers want. If people feel represented by her, I think that’s amazing and I so so appreciate when I’m told. It’s a special thing to see yourself represented when you never do in fandom or mainstream spaces!! She represents parts of me too that I’m still learning to love. But if not, I’m sure she’s still relatable. She has a whole personality beyond being a plus size girl bc being fat is not her defining trait. We absolutely should encourage more positive diversity in fandom, esp in main characters. Everyone of all sizes writing about what they look like is awesome! We agree on that point!

5) Evie is one of five ocs. Again. I’ve gotten hate messages and passive aggressive comments for all three of my big fics. Evie has ONLY EVER gotten hate for her size and race. She’s gotten a LOT. ((sometimes her eating disorder, but that’s another issue)) And yeah, it doesn’t shock me. It’s too transparent. People who relate to her don’t deserve that shame either.

I hadn’t even started posting the actual fic before I got my first hate msg about her being an “oc reach bc billy hates fat chicks” whatever. So I think I’m allowed to defend and stan her that much harder and her role in this fic. I think I’m allowed to gush about how much I love her story against all the disgusting hate she gets. I’m not apologizing for that. Me loving Evie super hard has nothing to do with anyone else’s OC. It’s not a mission. It’s not a dig. She’s mine.

**So no, anon, I don’t think I’m doing any big, in your face, public service with my ONE plus size oc. I don’t think I’m better. I think I’m just creating content for myself to enjoy. If others enjoy it too, awesome!! If not, they’ll find something else to enjoy. It’s a big space with lots of amazing writers, I can even direct you to a few!!! I’m happy to do that!! ****If I really had an issue with white or skinny ocs....I wouldn’t be writing them myself which I DO. I wouldn’t be supporting my fellow writers who also write them!!

So you’ll excuse me if I don’t believe that you actually support Evie or me or my fics. All this message served to do was dwindle an author’s excitement for her OC and accomplishments. And you didn’t do that. I’ll try even harder to support fellow writers around me tho!! ^_^

If this is a big misunderstanding bc you misreading asks that I’ve gotten or you misread my tone or remarks anywhere, that’s really not my issue either. IDK, maybe I’m popping off too much too, but this accusation is truly mean-spirited. I know things don’t always translate over the internet well, but I’ve been openly loving and supportive to fellow friends and authors despite anything that’s been said. Even through laundry lists of passive aggressive and hateful messages about my stories since my first fic took off. I’ve seen friends get hate too and I can’t stand that they have to deal with that. They SHOULD be proud of their works always.

I know I don’t deserve them and I know I don’t deserve this either. I know who I am at the end of the day and I know what I put into the world and I know that my fics are mine first. I know my truth and I hope you know yours behind that anon button.

So, thank you for your concerns but please drop them somewhere else and have a wonderful day enjoying the free content we put out. Support your favorite writers and encourage all writers to keep doing what they love and getting better at it! Thanks!!! xoxo :)))

#anon hate #plus size ocs #sis...aren't we tired?#ya girl is feral now and anyways I love Evie and her story and her character.#reply #ask #anon

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loserholland · 6 years ago

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𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐂𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐝

𝟎𝟎𝟐 ➺ 𝐅𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐮𝐧 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫

Pairing ➺ Teacher!Tom Holland x Single mom!Reader

Warning ➺ fluff, talks about reader’s ex

Word Count ➺ 1,549

Summary ➺ What happens when your five year old tries to set you up with her kindergarten teacher?

A/N ➺ So, I watched far from home today and i want to write some ANGSTY peter x reader imagine where the reader and peter are dating but slowly peter begins to have feelings for Mj. I want to do it based off of Out of love by Alessia Cara but idk would you guys like that?? Send me an ask or reply if I should do this angsty piece, i really want to lol.

✿ 𝓟𝓮𝓻𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓣𝓪𝓰𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽 ✿ - @loveyathreethousand, @taronxfiction, @killerqueen-gunpowdergelatine, @spideyyypeter @lou-la-lou @babebenhardy @rivervixenbaby @acklesholland @zabdisamor @keepingupwiththehollands@sweet666pea @sspider-parker @jackiehollanderr

❤ 𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐂𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐝 𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ❤ @luvborhap @asianravenpuff @agusdoti @meg-holland @silverreading

☞ Masterlist ☜

Family fun fairs. They’re always fun to attend to, mini carnival rides to enjoy along with the food and drinks. Everyone had a good time, making fun memories with their kids.

The moment Tom had told his class full of five year olds that he’d like some of their parents to bake some yummy goodies for the fair, Audrey was quick to sign her mother up.

Audrey happily walked into her mother’s office with a smile on her face. This wasn’t any typical smile, this was the ‘Mommy I’m about to ask you something you can’t say no to’ smile.

“Hi mommy! Could you make your special cupcakes for the family fun fair this Saturday?” and there it was, something she couldn’t say no to. It’s been a while since she used that smile. The last time she did, she convinced (Y/N) that she wanted to spend her last day of summer at disneyland even though it was hot and busy.

“Hm, bubs did you sign me up to sell your favorite cupcakes at the family fair?” Audrey nodded hopping around her mother’s desk to stand in front of her with a huge toothy grin spread across her face.

“I also signed you up to help Mr.Holland sell the yummy goodies!” Audrey wanted her mom to have a special someone, because everyone should have a special someone.

She figured since Mr.Holland didn’t have a special someone and her mother didn’t have a special someone, why not have them be each other’s special someone?

Yeah, this five year old is pretty damn smart.

(Y/N) chuckled lightly picking Audrey up and setting her on her lap, “Did you now? Did you think mommy would say yes?” She always said yes to Audrey, she was her little princess never could she say no to her, except when she’s being very bratty.

Audrey nodded with a big smile on her face, of course she knew her mother would say yes.

“Alright bubs we’ll go to the store right after I get this paperwork done.”

(Y/N) pushed the cart around the store gathering all the necessary ingredients for her cupcakes, Audrey was held her attention to her ipad playing on some learning app that taught colors and shapes.

As (Y/N) looked down at her notes to check off the ingredients she had in her cart she was unaware of the cart she had just bumped into. Immediately she placed her phone back in her purse and looked up ready to apologize to the stranger.

“I’m so sor-Tom?”

“You di-(Y/N)!”

Audrey turned around and smiled from ear to ear before saying, “Hi Mr.Holland!” she clicked the lock button on the side of her ipad handing it to her mom to place back in her purse.

“My mommy is going to make cupcakes for the family fun fair!” Tom smiled at the five year old looking between her and her mother, Audrey had her mother’s hair and eyes. Audrey was basically her mini her, (Y/N) had been told many times that Audrey looked like her.

“That’s great! I’m really glad you could help, also sorry I really wasn’t paying attention early.” Tom apologized which caused (Y/N) to shake her head lightly, “I wasn’t paying attention I should be the one to apologize.” Audrey looked between the two adults giggling to herself as they just stood there staring at one another.

Truth was, Audrey was doing this for a reason. There are nights when she can hear her mother crying. She never questioned what it was but she also thought it was because she didn’t have a special someone. All she wants is for her mom to be happy.

“Well, it was nice seeing you! I’ll see you on Saturday, Audrey bubs tell Mr.Holland you’ll see him tomorrow.”

"Bye Mr.Holland! See you tomorrow!”

Tom smiled waving at the five year old before proceeding out of the aisle, he did have thoughts about maybe asking (Y/N) out to dinner but was unsure if that would be highly inappropriate. Maybe he could get to know her more this Saturday.

Kids ran freely though the open school play yard, dragging their parents to buy tickets to then drag them to the rides and smaller game stands that was out on the field.

(Y/N) rearranged the desserts onto the table as Tom fixed the e-z up. Earlier that morning she had dropped Audrey off to her parent’s house so they could bring her once the fair started at nine. She didn’t want Audrey to be grouchy at seven when setup was happening.

“Mommy!” an all too familiar voice called which pulled (Y/N) attention to look up watching as Audrey ran at full speed towards the tent. (Y/N) walked around the table crouching down as she took Audrey into her arms, “Hey bubs.” she pulled away lightly brushing the wild baby hairs they fell atop her forehead.

“Go on with papa and gma okay?” Audrey nodded giving her mom a kiss on the cheek before running back.

Tom had brought two chairs for them to sit on not wanting to stand for the next five hours. The two sat next to each other in silence watching as a few guest come and go, some stopping for a sweet treat.

“So, your from London?” (Y/N) questioned, the awkward silence between them was not cutting it for her.

“Southwest London, Kingston upon Thames to be exact.” Tom watched as she fiddled with her fingers picking at fabric of her jeans.

“When did you have Audrey?” This was a common question for (Y/N), usually when she’d see family from either her mom or dad’s side they’d ask ‘When did you have Audrey?’.

“I was nineteen. Two years into college.”

During those two years of college she barely made it through with the grades she had, and the crowd she was hanging around with. Wanting nothing but to party. I guess you could say she hung out with the rich kids. Yes, (Y/N) was also one of those kids but, her parents taught her to be humble and to work for what she wants.

Tom wanted to ask the question that has been in the back of his mind for a while, from the moment he saw Audrey’s drawing that question has been on his mind for a while.

“I-if you don’t mind me asking, um what happened to Audrey’s dad?”

(Y/N) tensed lightly remembering the night he had placed twenty-thousand dollars into her hands and said “Get an abortion, and we can go our separate ways.” When she had disagreed and said she was keeping the baby, he walked right out the door and didn’t turn back.

“Well, he didn’t want me to keep Audrey. He had placed twenty-thousand dollars in my hand and said ‘Get an abortion, and we can go our separate ways.-”

(Y/N) paused for a moment as she scanned the field to see Audrey was playing at one of the mini game booths, she never regrets keeping Audrey. It was one of the best blessings in the world.

“-so I kept Audrey. I’m glad I did, she’s one of the most amazing kid with a huge heart.”

Tom couldn’t help but agree more, he would notice how she would share her crayons with whoever didn’t have crayons. Or when she’d comfort one of her classmates who accidentally skinned their knee during recess.

Just then Audrey came running back to the booth with a huge grin, “Mommy! There’s a dunk tank!” (Y/N) placed Audrey onto her lap “Did you try it?” her daughter shook her head no.

“Why not?”

“I have to choose one of my favorite teachers to dunk, I dunno if Mr.Holland want’s to do it.”

(Y/N) glanced at Tom who was obviously listening in on their conversation, “Why don’t you go ask him?” Audrey hopped off her mother’s lap and to stand right in front of Tom.

“Mr.Holland, can I dunk you?”

Tom smiled “Sure sweetheart.” Audrey squealed loudly jumping around the booth before saying “If I dunk you can you and my mommy go on date?” (Y/N) mouth fell open at the question as Tom’s eyes widened.

“Bubs, that’s only if you hit the target.” (Y/N) reminded, causing her daughter to glance between her mother and Tom.

“I won’t miss mommy, now come on!”

(Y/N) watched as Tom climbed the mini ladder and sat on the ledge watching as he lightly tapped the surface of the water that was a bit cold. Audrey held three bean bags in her hand standing behind the line.

Audrey threw the first bean bag a little too far to the right, as a bit of relief washed over (Y/N) body. The second bean bag was a few inches off but still nonetheless, she missed again. Now for the moment of truth, she did say ‘I won’t miss mommy’

It all happened so quickly the sound of Audrey screaming with glee as she watched Tom fall into the water before quickly standing back up, as for (Y/N) who stood there in complete shock. She’s going to go on a date with her daughter’s kindergarten teacher.

Audrey walked over to her mother with a huge smile on her face along with victory written across her forehead.

“See mommy? I told you I never miss.”

#tom holland au #tom holland #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland imagine #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #loserholland

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1stsana · 7 years ago

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Okay so today I was given the best feels one there is a dude who always calls me 'trouble' context I've known him for at least 7 years its in good fun and I own that name. Today he and I spent 1.5 hrs in the packing truck fitting a friend of my GMA's thing in like Tetris pieces. It went amazingly well. He said at the end "I don't care what any one else says, your alright kid. Good job."

No ones really said that to my face. Its all I could do not to cry then. I'm crying now though. Its validation. And its not validation that I went looking for. It was just thrown in my face like a warm blanket. It was great.

2 mike another guy from my grandma's church is headed out on a assignment. I haven't seen him in YEARS.

He went out of his way to tell me he still has the picture I drew for him.

I don't even remember what I drew for him.

But he still has it!!!!

like holy shit. My DAD ruined several of the pics I gave him.

just it means the world to me (more crying)

3rd I got to ransack the house for any remaining goodies and hot damn there were a lot.

A fuck computer tower. Windows vista (she had bought a laptop so here's hoping it works)

Laptop table one of the ones you put on your lap. It was still in the box!

A 5 disc CD/DVD player. Near brand new

The speaker that matches it. Only one but heyyyyyyy

A cute litte keys holder that's in the shape of a key

Microwave oven also near new

Cleaning things

A fuse tester. NEVER OPENED

A rechargeable battery charger & its 4 rechargable AA batterys still had the plastic between the connecters

Some cute metal Celtic knot knobs

A medicine cabinet

A goddamn FIREPLACE!!!!!! IT WORKS lights heat everything.

Previously she gave me the chair I always sat in. Fits my booty like a dream. Love it.

She also gave gram a table its a nice solid wood table. Barely fit thought the door heavy as hell.

Its been a hellva day.

#just #the stuff is cool #and i do gush a bit about them but #thise first two things #esspesily that mike still has the pic #my feelings #all over the place #personal

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cesium-sheep · 4 years ago

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readmore for length, christmas roundup

I got a big stocking just like I asked, I got another whole engine-plus-two-cars train!!! that’s 4 trains!!! and really fluffy socks with stars on them and a cute candle that says “I just want to bake stuff and watch Christmas movies” (true) and *scented* kinetic sand and a fancy chocolate bar and the hershy-ettes I picked out for myself yesterday :> and my big present was a squishmallow llama and a box of Russell stover chocolates :>

from dad and patty I got a hand-cranked flashlight/radio/emergency battery finally, a very nice new reading pillow (it’s still decompressing), and cute new fluffy boots

from mom and jeff I got violet cremes, the body braid, kirby print face masks, a jinbei-san sticky note folder thing, peef, a full-length bath pillow, and a stool for the kitchen.

from Jeremy and Sam I got very soft pjs (in the correct size lol)

from Alex I got a pair of fingerless gloves with squishy cat paw pads on the palms

from Sean I got a belated birthday present, another pair of my favorite pj pants

from zoe I got some beautiful merino yarn

from moss I got an embroidered kirby ornament

from rou I got a big kirby plush riding a warp star

also the catholic box, with cards from unenthusiastic children, a $10 safeway gift card, a bunch of random snacks, hand sanitizer, playing cards, toothpaste, a nail care kit, and 3 different lip balms

I’ve tried on the body braid and figured out how to make it work, and it really does work fuckin wonders for me. I had it on just for sittin when we were on the phone with dad and co for 20 minutes and my back hurt less at the end than it did at the beginning!!! I reconfigured it for walking and it hits the exact spot on my hip where it tries to pop out, plus covering my back and shoulders so well that my neutral posture looks completely upright (not quite military-straight, but that may have just been hypermobility this whole time) and even making my neck less tight! I was kind of worn out from doing all the post-present tidying up but I was able to just pace around the house for a while without suffering! it even made me less dizzy when I bent down to pick up my phone :’) it does also discourage me a little from bending my knees when I walk, but considering I just kinda keep my knees bent at all times by default that may not actually be a bad thing.

very good christmas presents!!!

we talked to dad and gma and patty on speaker so arin could say hi too, apparently sam’s sister just died yesterday. and gma got hospitalized at thanksgiving and then they were gonna do some kind of test after she went home but it went pear-shaped and she went right back to the hospital until this morning. I don’t think she’s got that much left in her tbh. sherry and co are gonna come visit tomorrow, and sam’s parents are going over for dinner tonight. gma said she’s been watching lots of tv shows about the army and they’re all so mean and she doesn’t think she’d be tough enough for that. I pointed out she’s already had a whole lifetime of being tough and she’s tired now, and she agreed. patty used the wrong pronouns for arin but corrected herself without hesitation. dad mostly just talked about the snow.

borbs also happened to pop on to say hello, so I got to catch up with them a bit :>

mom also called, jeff was so touched by the port pillow I made for him that he cried. his son’s girlfriend got the plague, so they’re all a little worried, since their kid together was born with a heart condition and hasn’t really caught up with his age yet. she got bummed out after I mentioned the news from lake wobegone but I told her about the catholic box and it cracked her up so at least there’s that XD I’m supposed to text her after my ablation just to put her mind at ease.

arin made tasty noodles for dinner, as well as finding me good cinnamon rolls for breakfast.

also someone ordered a tiny bunny on etsy, it’s kinda sweet to think that they must’ve gotten a gift card or something for christmas and decided a tiny bunny was a good use of part of it :’)

they put on christmas music all day, and we’re sposta watch the christmas romcom with the coincidentally disabled protagonist this evening.

#christmas #gifts #ask to tag #death ment #coronavirus #long post

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jonathanalumbaugh · 7 years ago

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Weekly Digest

Dec 16, 2017, 3rd issue.

A roundup of stuff I consumed this week. Published weekly(ish).

Read

Whoever your graphic design portfolio site is aimed at, you have to remember that people’s time and attention is limited. Employers, to take one example, may look at dozens of portfolios in the space of 10 minutes. So you only have a few seconds to really grab their attention and enthuse them.

—8 great graphic design portfolio sites for 2018

Paying for more than 3,500 daily drinks for six years, it turns out, is expensive. The NIH would need more funding—and soon, a team stepped up to the plate. The Foundation of the NIH, a little-known 20-year-old non-profit that calls on donors to support NIH science, was talking to alcohol corporations. By the fall of 2014, the study was relying on the industry for “separate contributions to the Foundation of the NIH beyond what the NIAAA could afford,” as Mukamal put it in an e-mail to a prospective collaborator. Later that year, Congress encouraged the NIH to sponsor the study, but lawmakers didn’t provide any money. Five corporations—Anheuser-Busch InBev, Diageo, Pernod Ricard, Heineken, and Carlsberg—have since provided a total of $67 million. The foundation is seeking another $23 million, according to its director of development, Julie Wolf-Rodda.

—A MASSIVE HEALTH STUDY ON BOOZE, BROUGHT TO YOU BY BIG ALCOHOL

When Starbucks (SBUX) announced that it was closing its Teavana tea line and wanted to shutter all of its stores, mall operator Simon Property Group (SPG) countered with a lawsuit. Simon cited in part the effect the store closures might have on other mall tenants.

Earlier this month, a judge upheld Simons' suit, ordering Teavana to keep 77 of its stores open.

—America's malls are rotting away

The Dots claims to have a quarter of a million members and current clients include Google, Burberry, Sony Pictures, Viacom, M&C Saatchi, Warner Music, Tate, Discovery Networks and VICE amongst others.

—Aiming to be the LinkedIn for creatives, The Dots raises £4m

The Cboe's bitcoin futures fell 10 percent Wednesday, triggering a two-minute trading halt early Wednesday afternoon.

—Bitcoin futures briefly halted after plunging 10%

Through a very clever scheme, the people behind Tether can continue to send Bitcoin into the stratosphere until it reaches a not-yet-known breaking point.

—Bitcoin Only Has One Way To Go If This Is True

—Bitcoin Price Dilemma: Bull and Bear Paths in Play

—Botera – Free Font

"He is being a huge assh*le and avoiding you so it literally forces you to be the one to break up with him because he's too much of a coward to do it himself. GOD, I HATE GUYS."

—"Breakup Ghosting" Is the Most Cowardly Way to End a Relationship

—Britain rejected the EU, and the EU is loving its new life

“Although the science is still evolving, there are concerns among some public health professionals and members of the public regarding long-term, high use exposure to the energy emitted by cellphones,” Dr. Karen Smith, CDPH Director and State Public Health Officer, said in a statement.

—California Warns People to Limit Exposure to Cellphones

There is a way CSS can get its hands on data in HTML, so long as that data is within an attribute on that HTML element.

—The CSS attr() function got nothin’ on custom properties

“The recent coverage of AI as a single, unified power is a predictable upshot of a self-aggrandizing Silicon Valley culture that believes it can summon a Godhead,” says Thomas Arnold

—Former Google and Uber engineer is developing an AI 'god'

Here are two facts: 1) Throughout the tail end of Matt Lauer’s tenure at NBC’s Today, ABC’s Good Morning America beat it in the ratings, and 2) In the two weeks since Lauer was kicked to the curb for sexual misconduct and replaced by Hoda Kotb, Today’s viewership has surpassed GMA’s by a considerable margin.

Here are two opinions: 1) No one ever really liked Matt Lauer, but tolerated him as you would a friend you’ve known for 20 years but have nothing in common with anymore, 2) Hota Kotb makes everything better.

—A Funny Thing Is Happening to Today Now That Matt Lauer Is Gone: Its Ratings Are Going Up

The game challenges you to build an empire that stands the test of time, taking your civilization from the Stone Age to the Information Age as you wage war, conduct diplomacy, advance your culture, and go head-to-head with history’s greatest leaders.

—Get the newest game in 'Sid Meier’s Civilization' series for 50% off

Amazingly, despite the mind control and hypnosis, the girl resisted being totally drawn into her father’s “cult of three.” But she suffered from self-loathing and took to self-harm as a coping mechanism.

—Girl’s father tortured her for a decade to make her ‘superhuman’

The most searched for dog breed was the golden retriever.

—Google's top searches for 2017: Matt Lauer, Hurricane Irma and more

"A few months ago, I started collecting stories from people about their real experiences with loneliness. I started small, asking my immediate network to share with their friends/family, and was flooded with submissions from people of all ages and walks of life.

"The Loneliness Project is an interactive web archive I created to present and give these stories a home online. I believe in design as a tool to elevate others' voices. Stories have tremendous power to spark empathy, and I believe that the relationship between design and emotion only strengthens this power.

—Graphic designer tackles issue of wide-spread loneliness in moving campaign

While the Windows 10 OpenSSH software is currently in Beta, it still works really well. Especially the client as you no longer need to use a 3rd party SSH client such as Putty when you wish to connect to a SSH server.

—Here's How to Enable the Built-In Windows 10 OpenSSH Client

In America we have settled on patterns of land use that might as well have been designed to prevent spontaneous encounters, the kind out of which rich social ties are built.

—How our housing choices make adult friendships more difficult

Today was "Break the Internet" day, in which many websites altered their appearance and urged visitors to contact members of Congress about the pending repeal (see the gallery above for examples from Reddit, Kickstarter, GitHub, Mozilla, and others).

—How Reddit and others “broke the Internet” to support net neutrality today

“He’s the Usain Bolt of business for Jamaica,” Richards said. “For each Jamaican immigrant, Lowell Hawthorne is me, he’s you. He was the soul of Jamaica, the son of our soil, and all of our struggles were identified with him.”

—How the Jamaican patty king made it to the top — before ending it all

—How to break a CAPTCHA system in 15 minutes with Machine Learning

After the trap has snapped shut, the plant turns it into an external stomach, sealing the trap so no air gets in or out. Glands produce enzymes that digest the insect, first the exoskeleton made of chitin, then the nitrogen-rich blood, which is called hemolyph.

The digestion takes several days depending on the size of the insect, and then the leaf re-opens. By that time, the insect is a "shadow skeleton" that is easily blown away by the wind.

—How the Venus Flytrap Kills and Digests Its Prey

Back at The Shed, Phoebe has arrived. She's an intuitive waitress who can really get across the nuances of our menu, like how – by serving pudding in mugs – we're aiming to replicate the experience of what it's like to eat pudding out of a mug.

—I Made My Shed the Top Rated Restaurant On TripAdvisor

In order to create a candlestick chart, you must have a data set that contains open, high, low and closevalues for each time period you want to display. The hollow or filled portion of the candlestick is called “the body” (also referred to as “the real body”). The long thin lines above and below the body represent the high/low range and are called “shadows” (also referred to as “wicks” and “tails”). The high is marked by the top of the upper shadow and the low by the bottom of the lower shadow.

—Introduction to Candlesticks

The object in question is ‘Oumuamua, an asteroid from another star system currently zipping past Jupiter at about 196,000 miles per hour, too fast to be trapped by the sun’s gravitational pull. First discovered in mid-October by astronomers at the Pan-STARRS project at the University of Hawaii, the 800-meter-long, 80-meter-wide, cigar-shaped rock is, technically speaking, weird as hell—and that’s precisely why some scientists think it’s not a natural object.

—Is This Cigar-Shaped Asteroid Watching Us?

I tried out LinkedIn Career Advice and Bumble Bizz over the course of a work week and compared them in terms of how easy they are to use and the kind of people they introduce you to.

—I tried LinkedIn's career advice app vs. dating app Bumble's version and discovered major flaws with both

“The Bitcoin dream is all but dead,” I wrote.

—I Was Wrong About Bitcoin. Here’s Why.

—Jessen's Orthogonal Icosahedron

In the study, depressed patients who got an infusion of ketamine reported rapid relief from suicidal thoughts—many as soon as a few hours after receiving the drug.

—Ketamine Relieved Suicidal Thoughts Within Hours in Hospital Study

We are trying to create an Open Source Website that searches through an open database of Interactive Maps focused on learning in a linear way. It leverages all of world’s knowledge in a unique way. It takes the Wikipedia model of curating knowledge but applies it to curating links in a meaningful and visual way.

—Learn Anything White Paper

"It was a very new word [in 1841]," Sokolowski said. "[Noah Webster’s] definition is not the definition that you and I would understand today. His definition was, 'The qualities of females,' so basically feminism to Noah Webster meant femaleness. We do see evidence that the word was used in the 19th century in a medical sense, for the physical characteristics of a developing teenager, before it was used as a political term, if you will."

—Merriam-Webster's word of the year for 2017: 'Feminism'

The Wall Street Journal issued a new note on its style blog earlier this week, suggesting the publication not write about millennials with such disdain.

"What we usually mean is young people, so we probably should just say that," the new WSJ note reads. "Many of the habits and attributes of millennials are common for people in their 20s, with or without a snotty term."

—'Millennials': Be Careful How We Use This Label

As of writing, the CoinDesk's Bitcoin Price Index (BPI) is at $16,743 levels. The world's largest cryptocurrency by market capitalization has appreciated 0.72 percent in the last 24 hours, going by CoinMarketCap data.

—No Stopping? After New High, Bitcoin Price Eyes $20k

People who tested as being more conscientious but less open were more sensitive to typos, while those with less agreeable personalities got more upset by grammatical errors.

"Perhaps because less agreeable people are less tolerant of deviations from convention," the researchers wrote.

Interestingly, how neurotic someone was didn't affect how they interpreted mistakes.

—People Who Constantly Point Out Grammar Mistakes Are Pretty Much Jerks, Scientists Find

Hydrogen particles are made up of an electron and a proton. Exciton particles, then, are made up of an electron that’s escaped and the negative space it left behind when it did so. The hole actually acts like a particle, attracting the escaped electron and bonding with it; they orbit each other the same way an electron and a proton would.

—PHYSICS BREAKTHROUGH: NEW FORM OF MATTER, EXCITONIUM, FINALLY PROVED TO EXIST AFTER 50-YEAR SEARCH

For reasons that people are now trying to determine, this weekend the internet turned its collective gaze to a short story called “Cat Person.”

Response to the story has varied from praise for its relatability to flat dismissal to jokes about how everyone is talking about a—Who’da thunk it?—short story of all things.

—The reaction to “Cat Person” shows how the internet can even ruin fiction

—Regular Icosahedron

—Repeal Day Poster – Summit Brewing Co.

[Dr. Simon Bramhall of the UK] pleaded guilty to charges that he etched his initials, “SB,” onto the livers of two transplant patients with an argon beam in 2013. Bramhall admitted the assaults in a hearing in Birmingham crown court on Wednesday, according to several news outlets.

—SB WUZ HERE: Surgeon pleads guilty to burning initials into patients’ organs

I get what you’re doing. Really, I do. You’re trying to shit on people’s musical tastes to either appear more well-versed in music than them or you just want to see the shocked look on people’s faces as you besmirch their favorite band. And listen, I don’t blame you for either. They’re both fun activities that I partake in on the reg. If you name me a band you like, I will find a hundred different ways to judge you on your taste. If the band happens to feature a white guy with dreads, make it three hundred. But The Beatles, dude? The fucking Beatles? You are really scraping the barrel if you are knocking people for liking The Beatles, you moron.

—Shut Your Dumb, Stupid Mouth about the Beatles Being Overrated

—Sonakinatography I Movement #III for Multi-Media

The font the menu is written in can convey similar messages; for instance an italic typeface conveys a perception of quality. But using elaborate fonts that are hard to read could also have another effect – it could alter how the food itself tastes.

A study conducted by researchers in Switzerland found that a wine labelled with a difficult-to-read script was liked more by drinkers than the same wine carrying a simpler typeface. Spence’s own research has also found that consumers often associate rounder typefaces with sweeter tastes, while angular fonts tend to convey a salty, sour or bitter experience.

—The secret tricks hidden inside restaurant menus

On Allison Benedikt, Lorin Stein, and the perils of extracting universal principles from fairytale endings...

“My career, at the time, was in his hands,” Allison Benedikt wrote at Slate this week, about the beginning of her relationship with John Cook, her husband of 14 years. They were colleagues at a magazine when they first kissed, and he was her senior. That kiss took place “on the steps of the West 4th subway station,” Benedikt writes, and Cook did it “without first getting [her] consent.” The piece is an intervention into the conversation on office sexual harassment, with Benedikt fearing “the consequences of overcorrection” on this issue.

—So You Married Your Flirty Boss

“We encourage the use of Teslas for commercial purposes and we’ll work proactively with these customers to find charging solutions that work best for them,” the statement said.

—Tesla Tells New Taxi, Uber Drivers Not to Use Its Superchargers

The deep web refers to anything you can’t access in a search engine, either because it’s protected behind a password or because it’s buried deep within a regular website. The dark web is a subsection of the deep web that you can only access with a special browser like Tor to mask your IP address.

—Things You Can Do on the Dark Web That Aren't Illegal

—This Graphic Explains Just How Crazy The Cryptocurrency Bubble Is

One such study published in the journal Neuroimage and highlighted on PsyBlog actually found that some forms of daydreaming cause measurable changes in the brain. This suggests that, done right, daydreaming actually requires attention and control.

—This Is the Correct Way to Daydream, According to a Harvard Psychiatrist

"VR can be stored in the brain's memory center in ways that are strikingly similar to real-world physical experiences," said Stanford's Bailenson, author of the forthcoming book "Experience on Demand," about his two decades of research on the psychological effects of virtual reality. "When VR is done well, the brain believes it is real."

—The very real health dangers of virtual reality

Respect for children means respect for the adults that they will one day become; it means helping them to the knowledge, skills, and social graces that they will need if they are to be respected in that wider world where they will be on their own and no longer protected. For the teacher, respect for children means giving them whatever one has by way of knowledge, teaching them to distinguish real knowledge from mere opinion, and introducing them to the subjects that make the mind adaptable to the unforeseen.

—The Virtue of Irrelevance

—You Will Lose Your Job to a Robot—and Sooner Than You Think

Watched

youtube

—Jessen's Orthogonal Icosahedron

#weekly #digest

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easyobsession · 7 years ago

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dwts25 cast announcement (aka lo is STILL recapping this crap?)

Jesus lord help us all, the shit storm covered in glitter is back for its 25th season and while I’m highly doubtful I’ll post weekly because I’m still upset over last season and pretty fed up with a certain pro at the moment, I’m feeling generous and somewhat indebted to tradition to at least do a post on the cast reveal.

Wow, that was a long ass sentence.

*A quick sidenote before we start- you guys, I actually know who all except 4 of these people are!! This might be a record. Good on you, ABC.

The Guys

DEREK FISHER with pro partner SHARNA BURGESS

Speaking of people I don’t know… He’s an athlete, what do you expect? He used to be a basketball player, right? Does he still play? Was he any good? They got Kobe Bryant to send a message, but is that because of Derek or just ABC’s connections? I have no clue. Instant judgment says he won’t be great.

DREW SCOTT with pro partner EMMA SLATER

Who doesn’t love the Property Brothers? When I first heard about Drew as a possible contestant, I wasn’t shocked. He and his brother seem pretty easygoing and willing try almost anything- and out of the two I think Drew is a little less likely to worry about the stereotypical possibility of looking “less masculine.” I think Drew could be good- he’s insanely tall, which might work against him, but he seems really excited and I bet he works hard. I’m excited about him.

FRANKIE MUNIZ with pro partner WITNEY CARSON

Loved Malcolm in the Middle. And Agent Cody Banks, with Hillary Duff? AND BIG FAT LIAR, WITH AMANDA BYNES BEFORE SHE LOST HER MIND? And that Disney Channel movie (back when they were DCOMs) where he was in a kid in a wheelchair that raced in a soapbox derby? God, what a throwback. Apparently since then he’s gotten pretty into racing for real, however I don’t see us having another James Hinchcliff on our hands. Even in the 2 second intro they did on GMA he looked stiff and awkward. I don’t see this lasting long at all. Shame.

JORDAN FISHER with pro partner LINDSAY ARNOLD

Forget Hamilton, this boy is from the Disney Channel! Liv and Maddie, anyone? TEEN BEACH MOVIE? It’s Seacat, y’all! He’s gonna kill it and it’s gonna be so fun to watch. I think he and Lindsay (who shall from this moment on be known this season as LindsAY, not to be confused with fellow contestant LindsEY) will be a great team with a lot of energy. He won’t win though, due to the Disney Channel curse. In true Disney star tradition though, he will likely get second place. (Somewhere in the distance Kyle Massey, Zendaya, and Corbin Bleu are having a Disney Kid/DWTS Runners Up club meeting. Meanwhile Sabrina Bryan is nearby plotting to burn down ABC headquarters.)

NICK LACHEY with pro partner PETA MURGATROYD

First One Tree Hill, now this. The man is out to conquer the world. I don’t think he’ll be as good as Drew (his brother, not the other contestant this season) and I almost think his wife will outdo him by just a hair. That said, I don’t see him being awful. Along the lines of boyband members, I can see him maybe a little behind the others like Nick Carter and Lance Bass, and probably not nearly as good as Wanya Morris or Joey Fatone. I think Nick will start off okay and slowly work his way up, but I don’t think it’ll be a fast or easy process. But as long as he and Vanessa don’t bitch and moan about their spouses like Carlos and Alexa PenaVega did, I’ll be happy.

TERRELL OWENS with pro partner CHERYL BURKE

It’s Terrell like Cheryl, not Tuh-rell. He is (was?) in the NFL. That sums up my knowledge of this man. I assume he was (is?) pretty good from the way people talk about him? He looks pretty graceful and I doubt they’d give Cheryl anyone too shitty since it’s such a big deal she’s back. I don’t know. The only football knowledge I have is from Friday Night Lights. Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t fuck it up in the ballroom.

The Girls

BARBARA CORCORAN with pro partner KEO MOTSEPE

I actually have watched quite a bit of Shark Tank since Robert Herjavec’s season, so I know Barbara! She’s 68, so good for her, though since she’s with Keo we know she won’t last long. Though I doubt she’ll be much good, I know Barbara is very spunky and look forward to seeing her.

DEBBIE GIBSON with pro partner ALAN BERSTEN

One of the 4 I don’t know. Apparently she had a hit in the 80s that I’ve never heard of and she’s currently battling Lyme disease, which I also know nothing about. But after a quick trip to the trusty Mayo Clinc’s website, I learned that Lyme disease is basically a bacterial disease transmitted by deer tick bites (check yourself, kids!), with symptoms that can include a rash, flu-like symptoms, joint pains, and neurological problems. So Debbie has a lot going on. All of that said, I can see her being a bit like one of the higher-skilled housewives when it comes to skill- not epic, but not too bad.

LINDSEY STERLING with pro partner MARK BALLAS

I think I’m rooting for her to win. Of course we’ve all seen her- she’s performed on the show multiple times (Maks and Meryl, week 3 Foxtrot. Look it up.), She’s cute as button and apparently she and Mark have known each other for a while. I’m excited. I think she’ll do well. It’s gonna be weird seeing her dance with a person though instead of her violin.

NIKKI BELLA with pro partner ARTEM CHIGVINTSEV

I’m a WWE girl, so I know Nikki. Since the proposal at Wrestlemania in April she’s taken time off from wrestling, but she’s still around starring on the WWE reality show Total Divas as well as the spinoff Total Bellas, starring her and her twin sister Brie. Whether or not she’ll be any good is a huge question mark, because while being in amazing physical shape, obviously wrestling has a little less finesse than dancing. Fellow WWE superstar Chris Jericho competed in season 12 with Cheryl and came in 6th (he wasn’t great, and he’ll gladly tell you that himself), however I think Nikki being a woman gives her an advantage over the male wrestlers. The guys in WWE don’t have to worry about being sexy (though some are- Seth Rollins, call me) but the girls, while times have progressed and are now seen as equals in terms of talent, do have to be a little more graceful, so to speak. All of this being said, I’m not sure how well she’ll do. But I’m excited to find out.

SASHA PIETERSE with pro partner GLEB SAVCHENKO

I didn’t watch Pretty Little Liars, but I know who she is. Another one too cute for words. I hope she does well.

VANESSA LACHEY with pro partner MAKSIM CHMERKOVSKIY

I don’t really know what Vanessa has done aside from being a wife/mom and a TRL VJ back in the day. But she looks like she can shake her booty and I think she’ll do well with Maks. I can see them being a lot of fun. I also think she and Nick seem less timid than Carlos and Alexa, and I’m crossing my fingers that they understand the concept of the show is to win with your partner, not cry about how much you wish could be dancing with your husband instead (because that’s NOT HOW IT WORKS, ALEXA). So I’m pumped. I also hope the troupe is prepared to open the DWTS daycare for all of these children that will need watching while the mommies and daddies go to work.

VICTORIA ARLEN with pro partner VAL CHMERKOVSKIY

The final cast member I do not know. I looked up her story though, and I can see why Val has been so pumped about her. She seems AMAZING. For those of you also in the dark, here’s some info I’m copying from the internet:

“At the age of 11, Victoria developed two rare conditions and lost the ability to speak, eat, walk and move. She slipped into a vegetative state in which recovery was unlikely. She spent nearly 4 years "locked" inside her own body, completely aware of what was going on, just unable to move or communicate. Doctors believed there was little hope of survival and recovery was unlikely. In 2010, Victoria began the nearly impossible fight back to life. She learned how to speak, eat, and move all over again. She competed in the 2012 Summer Paralympics held in London as a member of Team USA and she won four medals: one gold and three silver. In April 2015, she made the transition from professional athlete to sportscaster and joined ESPN as one of the youngest on air talents hired by the company. In April of 2016, she defied yet another odd and learned to walk after spending nearly a decade paralyzed from the waist down.”

And she’s TWENTY-TWO, Y’ALL. Let’s all take a quick moment to examine our lives- WE’RE ALL FAILURES. LOOK AT THIS GIRL. SHE’S A REAL LIFE SUPERHERO. Also one of the ones I’m excited to see and rooting for (despite some shit I won’t get into. Check my twitter. It’s there somewhere).

The Troupe and Pro Decisions

TIME TO POP BOTTLES, Y’ALL. YOU KNOWN DAMN WELL WHY I’M CELEBRATING. However I’m also hesitantly holding back bc until the first episode airs and a little blonde man doesn’t magically come out dancing with his celebrity partner along the lines of Michelle Obama, Ellen DeGeneres, Christ himself, I won’t be 100% convinced we’ll get such a huge season without God’s Gift To Movement. (#SQUEREK- MY VALDAYA FAM CAN ENJOY THAT THROWBACK. YOU’RE WELCOME.)

On a completely different topic, Mark is back. Woot! With his creativity and LindsEY’s talent with a violin, I’m super pumped to see what he comes up with.

Also Alan has been upgraded to a pro. Yay Alan!

I’m sad Sasha isn’t a pro this season because we all love him and he’s done so great with his past partners, but I think a large part of him being a pro depends on if they can find someone that balances will with his height. So I’m sad, but happy he’ll be around at least on troupe.

On a similar note though, who cares about height? Sasha is clearly a great teacher. Keo, however, though I’ve got mad love for the man, has proven time and time again that he needs some time on troupe to work on his teaching skills. I realize Barbara won’t ever be the next Laurie Hernandez, but regardless. I’m not happy they moved him up.

I’m also sad that a few favorites won’t be around like Karina and Tony. (dude, Karina went from this to attempting to date Chad from Jojo’s season of the Bachelorette on that new E! show. What the hell happened to our girl?)

The Judges

As far as I know they’re the same. Yippee -.- but guess what I’m pissed about y’all! SHIRLEY BALLAS IS JOINING THE JUDGING PANEL OF STRICTLY COME DANCING. WHICH IS NOT DWTS. WHY DO THEY GET HER AND WE’RE STUCK WITH CARRIE ANN AND JULES? What sick form of bullshit is this? I’ve said before I want both of Mark’s parents on the panel, plus Anna Trebunskaya (who just had a baby boy- CONGRATULATIONS ANNA!!!) and if Maks is competing and can’t judge, then Bruno, because I love his insanity and inappropriate innuendos. So damn you, Strictly!!

Predictions (in no specific order)

EARLY EXIT/THE BILLY RAY SCHOOL OF DANCE: Barb, Derek, Frankie

MIDDLE OF THE ROAD/BE GLAD YOU DON’T HAVE TO LEARN 46 NUMBERS FOR THE FINALE: Nikki, Terrell, Nick, Sasha, Debbie

GOING ALL THE WAY/STILL FINDING GLITTER IN YOUR DRAIN 6 MONTHS LATER: Jordan, LindsEY, Vanessa maybe, Victoria, Drew

For the final 3? As of lately I’m questioning damn near everything in my life, but I’ll give it a shot. Final 3 LindsEY, Jordan, Victoria. I’d normally guess Jordan for second, but with these girls I’ll guess Jordan 3rd and…. gah, this is hard. I want to say LindsEY will win, but I almost think Victoria will get it. I have a feeling this will flip-flop a lot. Okay, final guess pre-premiere is Jordan 3rd, LindsEY 2nd, and Victoria wins. But I’m not 100%.

Whew. Thank god I’m finally done writing this. If you actually read the whole thing, god love ya.

I’m still on social media @lauthom93 and love a good discussion, debate, or argument- not just about DWTS but anything at all, so hit me up there or right here on tumblr.

Back to my regularly scheduled madness. You know I’m sending love and gestures kids shouldn’t mimic.

Lo.

#dwts 25 #dancing with the stars #dancing with the stars season 25 #valdaya #opinion piece #lo recaps things

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funface2 · 5 years ago

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Tony Romo’s wild week, Phil Mickelson’s funny chat with Larry David, and my meeting with Tiger Woods(!) – Golf Digest

Welcome to another edition of The Grind, where we may never wash our right hand again. Yep, that’s right, it happened. After more than a decade of lurking around Tiger Woods, I finally got an official introduction to the GOAT. And a couple co-workers were able to document this historic occasion:

No, I won’t reveal what we were talking about. That’s private. I also can’t remember because it was such a blur. But basically, it was just two dudes yucking it up over golf. No big deal. Kidding. It was a BIG deal. And Tiger, I was also kidding about not washing my hand since our encounter. Totally kidding … I swear … so let’s do it again sometime. In the meantime, here’s what else is going on in the world of golf.

WE’RE BUYING

Cameron Champ: I wasn’t expecting the end of the Safeway Open to get me to cry, but there I was tearing up watching a young golfer hug his father in celebration while on the phone with his dying grandfather, PaPa Champ, who got him into the game. What a moving scene. As someone whose own grandfather did the same (RIP Poppa Myers), it hit me about as hard as Champ hits a golf ball.

Daniel Shirey

Speaking of which, Champ became just the eighth golfer in the past 20 years to win a PGA Tour event while leading the field in driving distance and scrambling. And he showed off both those aspects of his game on the 72nd hole with a 369-yard drive down the middle and a beautiful chip to set up his winning birdie.

https://twitter.com/PGATOUR/status/1178478887271096321

That was a special moment, and Champ is a special player. And with the Sanderson Farms rooster to go along with the Safeway Open wine barrel, he’s got quite a special trophy collection already.

Tony Romo: I’ll admit, I thought the Tony Romo PGA Tour experience had worn out its welcome a bit with him accepting his fourth sponsor’s exemption into an event where he had no local ties. But Romo had the sports world talking (Hence, why tournaments keep inviting him) following an opening 70 that put him in great shape to make the cut. Romo beat his first-round playing partners—PGA Tour members Beau Hossler and Michael Gellerman—by a combined 10(!) shots on Thursday. How ‘bout that Cowboy!

Jonathan Ferrey

Of course, his Friday performance, a four-over 76, wasn’t quite as spectacular, but Romo did beat a dozen tour pros even while missing the cut. He returned to his day job for CBS on Sunday, and after watching parts of that Bears-Vikings game he and Jim Nantz were forced to sit through, I can see why the former QB wanted to get out of work so badly.

Rory’s bunker lessons: A couple weeks ago, Rory McIlroy gave Justin Timberlake a bunker lesson. Now Timberlake is doing things like this:

https://twitter.com/EuropeanTour/status/1177222413760835584

Sign me up for a lesson, Rors.

WE’RE SELLING

Rory’s “course setup” complaints: I love Rory McIlroy. I love that he speaks his mind. I just think in this case, he’s not properly representing the whole story. McIlroy roasted the European Tour for its easy setups, but the timing was bad considering he had just finished the Alfred Dunhill Links Championship, which is a pro-am. A pro-am in which Rory played with his dad, Gerry, who shot a gross 69 (three under) at Kingsbarns!

Ross Kinnaird

Can you imagine being so good at golf that you complain about a course being too easy? Must be nice, am I right? Also kudos to Gerry for carrying his son to a T-1 finish in the team competition. Sadly, the McIlroys lost on a tiebreaker to Tommy Fleetwood and his partner because Fleetwood shot a lower score (64) on Sunday than Rory (67). Way to let your dad down, Rory. Kidding. Sort of.

“Spitgate”: Romo’s score had sports fans abuzz on Thursday, but a shot he hit on Friday wound up setting Golf Twitter aflame. The QB accidentally hit into triple coverage (the threesome in front) on a par 5 with a 3-wood from 278(!) yards to five feet. Then this happened:

https://twitter.com/jasondean2000/status/1177755076028321792

Here’s how PGA Tour rookie Kristoffer Ventura explained it:

https://twitter.com/krisventura95/status/1177799074566696962

We’ll take your word for it, Kris. A (OSU) Cowboy wouldn’t do that to another Cowboy.

“Flipgate”: Former PGA Tour pro and current Korean Tour money leader Bio Kim was suspended for three YEARS for flipping off a fan whose cellphone made noise during a tournament he eventually won:

https://twitter.com/ryanlavnergc/status/1179044209648705537?s=12

Allow me to echo Ryan’s sentiments. A THREE-YEAR ban for this?! Wow. That is harsh. And how about that photo of Kim kneeling before the Korean media begging for forgiveness? Geez, it’s not like he killed the fan with the cell phone. Anyway, let’s just say it’s a good thing Sergio Garcia doesn’t play on the Korean Tour …

ON TAP

The PGA Tour heads to Las Vegas for the Shriners Hospitals for Children Open, AKA that tournament Smylie Kaufman won. Man, I can’t believe four years have passed since that. Keep grinding, Smylie. Hopefully, you’ll be back on tour full time next year.

Random tournament fact: Patrick Cantlay has won and finished runner-up the past two years in Vegas. That’s a lot of money to play with at the blackjack tables.

RANDOM PROP BETS OF THE WEEK

—Someone will spit on Brooks Koepka’s golf ball this week: 1 MILLION-to-1 odds

—Phil Mickelson will win the Shriners Open: 100-to-1 odds (Actual odds. Wow.)

—Vegas casinos will get a boost this week: LOCK

PHOTO OF THE WEEK

Jonathan Ferrey

Again, what a scene. All the best to the Champs during this bittersweet time.

VIRAL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

This compilation of PGA Tour stars hitting tee shots over the corner of the Old Course Hotel on the famed Road Hole is mesmerizing:

https://twitter.com/GolfDigest/status/1178304741648080896

Juuuuust a bit different from this video that made the rounds a couple weeks ago:

https://twitter.com/lads_golf/status/1171368583819157504?s=21

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

“No matter if I win one more tournament, 10 more tournaments, whatever it may be, this will be the greatest moment in my golfing career for sure.” —Cameron Champ

THIS WEEK IN CELEBRITY GOLFERS (NOT NAMED TONY ROMO)

Michael Strahan participated in Tiger Woods’ newest charity golf event, the Nexus Cup, and challenged the host to a putting contest on Liberty National’s 18th green. Not only did Woods roll a 20-footer in on his first attempt, but he celebrated like he had just won the Masters. Check it out (40-second mark):

https://twitter.com/GMA/status/1177569369930420224

That and Strahan arguing with Lawrence Taylor over QB sack supremacy were the highlights of the event. Well, other than meeting Tiger. Did I mention I met Tiger?

THIS WEEK IN PHIL BEING PHIL

Mickelson struggled at the Safeway Open, missing the cut in his first event of the 2019-’20 season, but he really stepped up his game when it came to his latest “Phireside With Phil” video.

https://twitter.com/PhilMickelson/status/1176523612532236289

Larry David?! After playing golf (Would that be called a “Round and chat”?) with the comedic legend? Pretty, pretty, pretty good. Yeah, yeah, everyone else already made the same joke, but I don’t care. The part when they talk about Phil’s Hall of Fame jacket was particularly good. Netflix, pick up this show already!

THIS WEEK IN EDDIE PEPPERELL BEING EDDIE PEPPERELL

https://twitter.com/GolfDigest/status/1177670054877507584

He should legally change his name to Eddie PeppereLOL.

THIS AND THAT

M.J. Hur won the LPGA’s Indy Women in Tech Championship by four shots at Brickyard Crossing Golf Club. You could say she “raced away with the title.” Get it? Sorry. … Congrats to Victor Perez on winning his first European Tour title at the Alfred Dunhill Links Championship. Perez shot a final-round 70 and still finished (Look away, Rory!) 22 under par. … Five golfers, according to a Reuters report, had their drivers fail tests ahead of the Safeway Open now that the PGA Tour has really started to crack down. Kinda makes you wonder how many hot clubs have been in players’ bags in recent years. … China’s Yuxin Lin won the Asia-Pacific Amateur Championship, earning an invitation to next year’s Masters. It will be the second trip to Augusta National for the 18-year-old. Impressive. … And finally, Costco had to refund its latest batch of golf balls because they were cutting too easily. Bad job making the balls, but good job reacting by my favorite store. And if they are looking to hire someone for quality control their golf balls, I have just the person:

My daughter needs to start earning her keep at some point.

RANDOM QUESTIONS TO PONDER

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Bài viết Tony Romo’s wild week, Phil Mickelson’s funny chat with Larry David, and my meeting with Tiger Woods(!) – Golf Digest đã xuất hiện đầu tiên vào ngày Funface.

from Funface https://funface.net/funny-news/tony-romos-wild-week-phil-mickelsons-funny-chat-with-larry-david-and-my-meeting-with-tiger-woods-golf-digest/

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thekbv · 6 years ago

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GMA

Karen,

Maybe it’s okay? I was venting to Shannon the other day about how in healthcare you can’t say things like “get the fuck out of my office” even though it’d be really stress-relieving in some cases to do so. You have an obligation to treat people but if you can’t look after yourself you can’t help others.

Last summer we were at Aunt Susie's yard for a family bbq, and the conversation amongst the cousins came to Gma. We were reminiscing about our collective childhood when Gma was out and about and taking care of herself as well as us. Danny then told a story about one of his memories of Gma and prompted we go around and do the same. The unfortunate truth was that at the time, I couldn't come up with a single significant memory of pre-bedrest Gma, and I can't confidently say that I can now either.

In fact, I don't really have many memories of my childhood at all, at least regarding our extended elders. When Uncle Albert died, the most significant feeling I associate with his passing is how it affected our own family. That dad lost his brother, and got teary-eyed when he broke the news one night at the kitchen table. That V won't have him around to sing and make jokes at her wedding, which had become one of the highlights of our cousins weddings. That mom was thoroughly upset that he avoided giving dad his share of the money from the sale of their LA property, putting it off until it was too late. This is when that cliche saying hit home, the one that says that you die twice, the second death is when someone says your name for the last time. When will be the last time I say Uncle Albert's name? Is Uncle Albert still alive in my mind? Is Gma?

Our memories are fluid and emotionally tagged. If good relationships become bitter, we paint those same memories we've always had, and all of a sudden that friend who's been at your side for 8 years had actually always been a bitch. The revisiting of stories is a crucial aspect of our culture and identity, reminding us about all the love given, of the sacrifices made. Without traditions and rituals like storytelling, the cumulative richness of all that makes us human gets diluted in the cold, numbing river of quotidian life. We forget who we are because we can’t remember the people that shaped us.

#Brian #2019

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babechouu · 8 years ago

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tagged by: @mattsunflower (ty i love doing these things!?!?!?!?)

5 things you’ll find in my bag:

· Arabian rose roll on oil

· Baby head thrown into the crowd by a drag queen

· Tamps

· Queen of spades playing card I found on the street

· Well these are ON my bag but: a soot sprite, a kageyama charm, an iwa charm and an oikawa charm

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom:

ok I’m gonna preface that by saying that the room I’m staying in now is not my bedroom and is temporary so I’m gonna do it for my actual room even tho most of that shit is in storage

· Kidney bean shaped vanity

· Lava lamp with yellow goo and blue water (hell ya)

· Chartreuse shag rug

· My favorite thing ever the vintage lamp my gma bought me

· Me bc I love my room and being in it is the best

5 things I’ve always wanted to do in life:

· I wanna get a lobster boat in maine and catch and sell lobster and also just sea kayak for ever bc I love sea kayaking

· Have a lost in translation like experience whilst travelling

· Experience the pure aestheticism of Tokyo and the rest of Japan (among other things obvs but I’ve had this desire for a loooooong ol time)

· Adopt my own DOG

· Get called for jury duty for a Serious case that you are sequestered for

5 things that make me happy:

· a n i m e

· dogs

· music I wanna dance to

· eating good food

· cruising around town at night

5 things I’m currently into:

· flavor of love (I am rewatching)

· bungou stray dogs

· knb

· hotel valentine by cibo matto

· pokemon go (experiencing a resurgence)

5 things on my to-do list:

· apply for more jobs bc it’s always on my to do list :/

· launder bed sheets

· sew the patch I ironed on a shirt so it doesn’t come off

· cut my nails

· evolve my omanyte

5 things people may not know about me:

· i prefer to drive stick shift!

· I’m p athletic and I really enjoy sports

· I LOVE karaoke

· I’ve eaten horse and it was soooo much better than beef

I really really really REALLY hate z/ach braff and I don’t really have a good reason why

i tag anyone who wants to do it!

#personal

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thespecialrelationship-phff · 8 years ago

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Chapter 3

AN: Take a shot every time you read the word ‘prosecco’ Enjoy!

Harry’s POV

I glance back up to watch Margaret, wary of being trapped once again. Her shapely fingers twirl around the flute gently. I remember the discordant clink of her nail hitting the glass when she first picked it up.

She looks different today, more relaxed, which I suppose makes sense. A brunch in Grosvenor Square is a bit more casual then dinner at Kensington Palace. I remind myself that this change in demeanor and attire have nothing to do with me. We’ve only just met.

And yet, ever since her office called Kensington to schedule this brunch I wondered if I had made some sort of impression or more likely had the Games made some sort of impression her. Considering the dinner was less than inspiring I thought the phone-call boded well. For a moment I thought Will’s teasing had been correct, maybe she was just nervous. I held onto the hope that perhaps she was more than just a pretty face.

Of course, her being just a pretty face wouldn’t hurt Invictus either. I know that images of her with the competitors would make for good media and that some competitors would probably prefer to have a photo with her instead of me. Not that I could blame them, she was beautiful. And in a photo, captured for that one moment of time she’s magnificent. And when you first see her she shines almost blindly. So that by the time she’s gone her aura is seared into your memory.

So yes, even though we hadn’t had the best conversation last night or much conversation at all my memory mostly focused on her presence, like a goddess visiting the masses. When I first saw her this morning I was hit with those same feelings. Perhaps now, the two of us, I can make her speak, force myself to dig beyond the surface. As she pours herself more prosecco I’m a bit nervous, what if I don’t find anything more?

“You’ve seen another what, five, ten blocks of London since last evening. Has the city charmed you yet?” I ask as our food arrives. Truthfully, I’m not sure what I ordered. Quickly I look down…hmm eggs benedict.

She carefully sides her fork through smoked salmon, a slight smile on her face. “Well yes. I’ve now seen Bond Street and Piccadilly though not Piccadilly Circus…”

“Bond Street has some amazing shopping. I have a few friends who quite enjoy it there.”

“Yes. I doubt I’ll be able to go this trip, but I sent my Chief-of-Staff. Figured she deserved a little break.”

Vaguely I remember that her Chief-of-Staff is a glorified assistant. She handles Margaret’s appointments, wardrobe decisions probably and communications. In my head I automatically equate her to my version of Ed.

Margaret is continuing, “Anna Perez, my Chief-Of-Staff, will be traveling to Orlando with me, so you’ll get to meet her then.”

And she has provided me with the perfect opening to discuss the Games. I put my fork down gently.

“I hate to sound like a broken record, but we should discuss the Games, at least a bit, right?”

She smiles tightly, “This is after all, a business meeting, right?”

Did I imagine her stress the word business? Had I been too informal? Surely she wasn’t offended by my attire. She was wearing jeans just as I was. I look at her trying to decipher what she exactly meant. But she stares back blandly and the fear returns. There very well might be nothing beneath the surface.

Besides, This has to be a business meeting because the alternative would mean she wanted to see me on a personal level. Frankly, that didn’t make sense to me, not to say I wouldn’t be interested I would just be surprised. And the last thing I need is to get involved with the First Lady is any manner that is not professional. I can imagine exactly how the aftermath would play out.

William would be smug, thinking I had acted on his advice. Which would make him believe he would be entitled to details. My skin crawls thinking about it. More terrifyingly I would have to deal with Grandma and Father, both of whom would be immensely displeased. For some reason I imagine Father would use the phrase, ‘an international incident’ when he lectured me afterwards.

Yes, just business it must be. Really, she hasn’t given me a single reason to be considering these things. I’ve moved beyond the phase of being charmed by every pretty face I see, right?

Internal monologue complete, I nod. “Yes. It is. I want to ask you first, do you have any questions from last night, now that you’ve had the opportunity to think over everything?”

Delicately she wipes the corner of her mouth but I see a hint of a smile. Again, I’m wondering just what’s going on in her mind. “Yes. I wanted to discuss the Opening Ceremony and the interview with GMA’s Ramona Robinson.”

I nod and motion for her to continue. Her interest bodes well.

“Well, I would like to say that..” she pauses as if summoning the strength.

I rush to assure her, “You don’t have to if you’re nervous.”

“No!” her adamant refusal draws the attention of the table across the room. I smile apologetically.

“So, I assume you want to give the speech and do the interview.”

She nods steadily, “Yes.”

“I think that would be wonderful.”

Now she smiles, “Good. Besides I was thinking, the two of us making those appearances together will hold much more weight, considering the Games are taking place in America.”

“I couldn’t agree more.”

“And, perhaps my involvement will set a precedence for the future. Heads of state or their counterparts will be involved so you can keep the momentum growing for the Games.” She finishes.

I’m afraid my mouth is hanging open. I’m truly that surprised.

She’s absolutely right and no one else has bothered to voice that thought to me. I was about to waste her involvement in the Games by using her as a prop. The more she’s involved, the greater precedence well basically the more guilt a future head of state will feel by not supporting it. It’s actually quite brilliant.

I realize she’s staring at me so my mouth must be hanging open. Shame washes over me. I can’t believe I was really that surprised. Just because she’s pretty and doesn’t talk much, doesn’t mean she’s stupid. Immediately I reach for my glass to try to mitigate the issue. I take a healthy sip before returning to the conversation, hopefully more focused. “Yes, of course. That’s a very good point.”

“I just think it would be in your best interest to have me give that speech and the interview.” She reaches across the table now and gently touches my hand. “I’m here to help you and the Games.”

Her hand on mine is doing weird things to my brain. It’s just not what I was expecting. I think she might be flirting with me now? What I do know is that is exactly what I wanted to hear. I suppose I didn’t have anything to worry about after all. She seems to be dedicated and apparently somewhat intelligent.

The waiter appears then and her hand snaps away. I relax again and the waiter begins to clear the table. As he’s leaving, I order one more bottle of prosecco. Once again, the First Lady raises her sculpted eyebrow. It’s a taunting, come hither look and my mind immediately envisions the other places she makes use of that look.

In my gut I know that Margaret Randolph could bring a man to his knees with nothing more than that look, that look promising salvation or maybe it’s damnation. Hell, all I know is that could definitely bring this man to his knees.

“What?” I ask, feigning innocence.

She shakes her head chuckling, “Two bottles of prosecco before noon? I think I’m giving you the wrong idea about me your royal highness.”

She’s definitely flirting now. There’s the teasing lilt to her voice and the stressed use of my full title. Her eyes shine with mischief. The woman knows exactly what she’s doing. The issue is I do as well yet I have no intention of stopping it, not today at least.

The waiter returns with the bottle and we toast, this time to our partnership.

I pour her glass with a healthier portion this time than the last, knowing that it would just be a waste of time otherwise.

“And what is on the First Lady of the United States agenda for the rest of her sojourn in London?”

She sips the drink casually before placing it on the table, “I’m afraid I’ll be barricaded to my hotel suite.”

What? She can’t mean that can she? If I remember correctly her and her father are scheduled to be here for another two days. Being cooped up for that long sounds like nothing short of hell to me.

“Surely you don’t mean that.” Perhaps it’s just code for boring engagements.

She squints her eyes for a moment before she shakes her head slightly. “Oh, I don’t.” Margaret places a hand to her forehead in a thoughtless gesture “Sometimes I use the insider lingo around people who aren’t familiar.”

I nod, that makes more sense.

“I’m actually accompanying my father to a few small events, um and checking in on some family acquaintances.” She smiles apologetically, “I should probably lay off the prosecco.”

I don’t think Margaret could actually be that drunk, I mean it’s only a half-bottle of prosecco. However, she sounds embarrassed so immediately, I want to assuage her feelings. “But then I would be drinking by myself. I assure you, there is nothing sadder than a Prince drinking prosecco, alone at noon on a Thursday.”

My comment has the desired effect as she laughs lightly. “Well I would hate for that very specific scenario to come to fruition. I’ll continue to drink…” She points her glass towards me. “But only for your sake.”

“I appreciate the sacrifice.” I say and am rewarded with another smile.

God, she has a beautiful smile. It’s friendly, inviting. I can feel myself being sucked in again, powerless against her charms. I’m drawn like a moth to the flame.

Shaking my head, I try to focus. “You said you have family friends here. Anyone I may know?”

Her face blanches for a moment. “I probably shouldn’t have said anything. They are my grandmother’s, on my mother’s side, friends.”

I try to remember who her grandmother is and why she shouldn’t have said anything. “I could still know them.”

“Oh, it’s not that. It’s just that I don’t really know them.”

I nod in understanding, “Ah, it’s one of those social calls. I’m well versed in those meetings. Old friends of the family that you haven’t actually seen in years or maybe even met.”

“It’s exactly one of those things.” She confirms with a groan.

I sympathize with her plight. In some ways my life is just the intervals between uncomfortable meetings with distant friends.

“So, who is it?”

“Maurice FitzGerald. He’s the…”

“Duke of Leinster.” I supply. I’m familiar with the families of most of the dukes. “I don’t know them very well but I’ve only heard good things.”

She shrugs, as if it doesn’t concern her much. “But I doubt my grandmother is as close to them as she would lead me to believe.”

“Now I’m intrigued.” And I am but I’m also trying to figure just how her grandmother knows the Duke of Leinster. I didn’t think the Americans were in the habit of electing Presidents with close ties to nobility.

“My grandmother was sure to mention that when I meet with the his Grace I should also inquire about his nephew, who happens to be of marriageable age.”

“And heir to the dukedom.” I supply. I know who she’s talking about, at least vaguely. The information intrigues me, particularly because I had never thought of Margaret as someone who would be getting married. Idiotic, of course since she’s an attractive young woman. Probably the most eligible bachelorette in the world.

“Exactly.”

I’m trying to read her face, trying to get a read on how she feels about meddling noble matchmaking. She seems very collected, a little annoyed, but not angry. I look at her eyes, they’re clear and focused. Once again I wonder about her prosecco comment. Something tells me that the First Lady isn’t being completely authentic with me today.

So of course, I have to push her further. I lean back poised to take a sip of prosecco. “No desire to be Her Grace, Duchess of Leinster?”

I watch carefully as she reacts. Immediately she shakes her head with a rueful smile, “I doubt I’m cut out for all that.”

She says it and I know she believes it, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to be a duchess. Besides, she’s wrong. She would be a perfect duchess. Stupidly, I tell her just that.

“You flatter me.” She replies.

“You’re already half way there.” I counter, referring to her position as First Lady. “And you’re very good at it.”

Now she frowns something about that last comment upsets her. “I disagree, but thank you.” And she finishes her glass. Then she’s smiling at me, “You truly are Prince Charming.”

For a moment I’m lost in that smile again. Her face framed by long, wavy honey strands of hair. It’s easy to forget the moment of tension in the conversation. She’s effectively washed it away, by simply looking at me and smiling.

The waiter comes over again, asking if we need anything else. Margaret checks her watch and I know it’s time to go. I tell the waiter as much and give him the nod that I’ll settle the bill later. Margaret begins to protest but I just purse my lips, “Did you honestly believe I would let you pay?”

She holds my gaze, “I did extend the invitation.”

“Yes, you did.” I say thoughtfully. “Why?”

She blinks, “To talk about Invictus obviously.”

“Nothing else.” I’m finishing for compliments, and it’s not attractive, but I can’t help it. Her ‘Prince Charming’ comment even if meant as a deflection was like a drug.

“I don’t think so, but thank you for your words about the FitzGeralds. It will help, if I visit the family.”

“You’re welcome.”

She smiles, “I suppose I should go. I can feel the glares of my secret service shadows for waiting too long.”

She has a point so I stand and watch as she does as well. I admire the way her jeans hug her figure slightly, a figure I can grow accustomed to appreciating. Luckily, I remember my manners quickly enough to help her into the coat. She murmurs her thanks.

We walk through the restaurant in comfortable silence.

One of my protection officers stops us as we approach the reception area. Next to him stands another severe looking man, no doubt a member of the secret service. “Sir, the crowds outside are large. With the First Lady’s car waiting I would suggest we go to the back.”

I glance out the windows and see that he’s right. It would be chaos. If we walked out together I would have to say goodbye in front of the cameras, and the kiss on the cheek, something completely appropriate would be blown out of proportion in the press. A little gossip is nice for Invictus, but it can’t be the only focus. Besides I can already imagine the lecture I would receive from my father.

“Good call.” I look to Margaret, who has placed her sunglasses on the top of her head. She isn’t fazed one bit by the crowd outside. “I enjoyed our brunch.”

“Likewise.” She smiles and leans forward, I place a perfunctory kiss on each of her cheeks. I pointedly ignore the sweet smell of her perfume. “And remember what I said about the speech and the interview.”

“Consider it scheduled.” I say and she smiles brightly.

“Until Orlando then.”

“Until then.” And then because I can’t resist, I bow my head slightly. “Your Grace.”

Her eyes flash, a smirk pulls at her lips. “Incorrigible.”

“I have on a good authority that I’m charming rather than incorrigible.” I’m pushing her, wanting to see that beautiful smile one last time. I smile, challenging her.

“Naughty then.” She says.

Damn that word. And damn her shapely mouth saying that word.

I step closer, knowing that now no one should hear this but us. The sane part of my brain is screaming at me to stop this game now. It’s yelling that I’ve already pushed beyond the bounds of ‘business.’ Unfortunately, the other, larger part of me is saying that it can never really be business between two people whose jobs are so wrapped up in their identities. That part of me, the naughty part of me, is urging me to continue. As the world can attest, I’ve always been more impulsive than prudent.

“I’ll admit to being naughty.” I say, my lips near her ear, as close as I can be while still being appropriate. “But I can also be very, very good.”

My words don’t solicit that sought after smile, no I’m rewarded with something better: desire. Her lips are parted softly and her brown eyes are a deep, inviting black.

But as soon as I see it there it’s gone. She’s replaced the naked desire with her soft, trademark smile.

“Pity. Good is so boring.” With that she places her sunglasses over her eyes, slowly. Her brown eyes lock with mine until they’re covered by the dark shades. I watch as she walks away, hips swaying, blonde hair waving about her. When the door opens I can hear the din from the paps and people outside. Margaret doesn’t react though, she takes it all in stride, head held high, a confident smile on her lips.

I’m left with the profound feeling that Miss Randolph is a dangerously underestimated woman.

Chapter 2 Chapter 4

#thespecialrelationship #phff #prince harry #prince harry fanfiction #brf

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ecotone99 · 5 years ago

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[SF] 3097

Part 1

The grass was starting to die everywhere and the trees were looking more like stumps now in the scenic Texas rain. Malcolm sat back and lit a cigarette under the hand me down Seattle Mariners hat he found in the rubble of some ancient Texas citizen's home. It's been about two months since he's had a shower and the stench lurking under his nose was starting to settle, for good. Camel Turkish Golds. The taste never ceases to amaze him.

"I'm conflicted", Malcolm says to himself. Thinking he heard someone grace him into discussion he swung the whole front part of his body back into the direction he just walked from. Silly Malcolm, he's just urging for someone to converse ate with, it's been four months since he had one. The sun glistened and as it did Malcolm focused his attention on the dead sky. Its rained everyday since he's simulated and this little fact is ringing out in his today more than it ever has. As he thought about what home must be like, the long journey back, the cigarette that's burning too fast under his hand me down Seattle Mariners hat, and mom and dads high expectations he was reminded of why he was so conflicted. Mom and Dad. How in the world was he going to explain the cancer stick burning poisonous toxins and tars into his skull. How was he going to deal with their household doctor, or their household therapist. Oh, he forgot. Bernie the household therapist was no longer employed to them because of the nation wide law that feelings are starting to be outlawed. So therefore most therapists are losing their jobs rapidly. Bummer. Who knows, maybe they dead. Malcolm smiled at the thought of this, but his gleam was followed shortly by sorrow and regret. He loved his parents, even if they were a little dull and more then a little bland.

Malcolm lives in the year 3097 and like you may have guessed, he's not up with the times to say the least. An awkward shaped specimen he is, tall enough to stand out in any given crowd, yet slim enough to fit into a package of matches. He's been tested for anorexia three times by the household doctor and each time the doctor walks right down to his parents bedroom, knocks the large and intimidating black door so hard that the paint chips fall off and says the same four words "We need to talk". Of course these extremely unimportant talks that only seem to concern their sons health and well being would never happen. "Yeah sorry that isn't happening Malcolm's just fine he's just being dramatic, you know kids", is how these conversations would generally end. Systematic Social Prep and Schooling (SSPS) is the name of the very prestigious private academy that Malcolm was enrolled in up until his departure from the elite. The elite? The elite is what many people in the 21st century would have called "upper class". Malcolm laughed at the thought of their being anything other than the elite from time to time. He read in a book he found in the now desolate and solemn place known as Texas that the world used to be based on three levels of social class. Three? As if one isn't too much now, he thought. They had what was known as lower class and middle class which had an alarming amount of issues. As he read through the list of information he got an immediate feeling of humor. And This is humor. This is fiction. So you're telling me that education was something that was just given to all? Malcolm thought at the time as he lit up another cigarette. Speaking of school, it's urgent that I stay on the topic of why Malcolm is here in the beautiful mud and decay of rural Texas.

SSPS is considered to be the highest form of education in all of Great Made America (GMA). The career paths are off the chain, the money it costs to attend just one class is astounding, and the cars sitting in the parking lot are like an expensive rainbow of luxurious machines. If you were to do the math on the class of 3097-3098's automobiles it would probably be equivalent to what it would cost to cure cancer. Yeah, a lot. Malcolm got a Honda CRT587 for his 16th birthday, which featured a home movie theater, vending machines, and a hot tub in the backseat. Even though Malcolm smiled when his parents handed him the keys he couldn't help but be a little mad. Really? That's what he got? See what Malcolm's parents didn't know is that Geoff Infante (Malcolm's best friend since birth) just got a Honda CRT588 which scratched the movie theater to shreds and included an IMAX dome theater as well as a personal household doctor which can never leave the car. Epic! While Malcolm attended SSPS he generally excelled in his education. An important thing to note is that education is not the point of Malcolm's very important high school.

The school is split into three pieces, three different times periods throughout the day. The education portion is how the students would begin the day, this is where you would find most kids sleeping, skipping, and of course, on their devices. The athletics portion of the day is when most kids would show up. Common sports like baseball and soccer no longer pull the attention of the modern child, instead the most popular and exciting sport has to be gossipball, a game that requires two students (the delivers) to walk in a circle around a singular student (the deserver) who stands in the middle of the gymnasium. The deliver's will come up with the most hurtful and vile insults and truths about the deserver's past and present, see how long it will take before the deserver has an emotional outbreak. If the deserver doesn't have an emotional outbreak by the time the deliver's run out of ideas then that person wins the match and then gets to become a deliverer. The participants volunteer, but every Friday they have what's called growth and development day where the coaches get to pick the participants at random. They call this growth and development day because everyone benefits, the deserver becomes stronger and more numb to abuse, and the deliver's get to becomes better at gossiping. Gossip, key to any brave heart in Great Made America.

The last portion of school, and by far the most important, is the two and a half hour long lecture and activities that go along with the theme of appearance. Appearance is the most vital, urgent, and sought after thing in Great Made America. When the country was first settling in the late 21st century the founding fathers realized a predictable flaw in every human being. Attachment. They realized that not only do whole hearted relationships nearly never last, but that they can often times be unhealthy. So upon catching this great realization, the founding fathers came up with a formula that serves as the motto for the country. "Uniformity through conformity", this means that everyone will be the same, and nobody will be able to build an unhealthy relationship because everyone will conform to the idea that relationships only lead to distress and pain. In other words, a genuine relationship doesn't and can't exist for the country to function the way it should.

SSPS and the country as a whole work together to teach the youth how to appear correctly through a variety of different ways. First of all, when a child hits the age of 10 they are required to download and create at least 3 social media accounts. the child must be active for at least 25 hours a week on these apps. There's household teachers for every citizen. These teachers will focus more on making the child understand that it's crucial children break any form of feelings they have for anyone, including family. When the child turns 13 they will have a brain monitor installed into each and every part of the brain. This will track emotions, every person gets what is known as the "3 strike rule" meaning, if the monitor shows that a person has committed more than three acts of "severe" emotion in a month, the citizen is faced with a punishment. These monitors are turned off during sleep, and athletics. The teachers strongly urge the gossipball players to get personal. At the age of 14 things like sex and love start to come into play. At SSPS students are taught that it's okay to touch, and share moments of affection, however this affection can't be genuine love. It's okay to make a relationship, as long as it doesn't go past a surface level. Students at SSPS are graded on their ability to conform to situations, show signs of fake, or artificial positivity for people they don't respect, and lastly, how many surface level friendships they can build in a semester. Social media is an absolute cheat code here. Follower count on social media platforms is forty percent of the appearance course grade at the end of the year. This brings us to why Malcolm stands by himself under the bright sun and humid weather of rural north Texas. He's not conforming up to standards, to say the least.

Part 2

The process of creating real life simulation isn't hard for the wealthy and well educated law enforcement at GMA, but it's a process that nobody looks forward to. It can only mean that someone isn't behaving the way they should be. Malcolm sat strapped into the full sized ancient type throne of a chair they had thrown him into. Sticking out of each one of his wrists were two giant tubes, one holding a creamy looking substance that could only resemble sour cream. The other was holding a thick red liquid, after looking at it and feeling a little lightheaded Malcolm was able to conclude that they were drawing his blood. They probably needed some to create a simulation.

The door busted in and in walked an average sized man with perfect hair and a perfect amount of hairspray product in it. The doctor had a clipboard with a sickening amount of papers pressed up against his chest like a bible.

"First name Malcolm last name Houser. As you already know, and just making it very clear again, you've broken the three strike rule twice in the last two years." Said the man in a deep and over the top professional manor.

"Yeah". Malcolm said.

"Malcolm I hope not to trigger an emotion but instead just ask why you chose to use your emotions?" The man said. As Malcolm watched him move, he noticed that his mannerisms were making him extremely jealous. The doctor was able to sound so concerned and friendly yet manage to not care one bit about the situation in all reality. Impressive.

"It just happens. I've tried to look at people like flesh and bones like we're taught at school but I guess, it's just hard for me." Malcolm said.

"I see. Malcolm you have to understand that it's completely unrealistic to have concerns in a lifetime okay friend? We're worried about you. You haven't just been showing signs of emotional disorder, but you've shown signs of having much bigger problems. It seems like you can't figure things out within yourself. Which is quite sad because you're a teenager and this is the time where you should be figuring out your life goals, permanent career path, and most importantly looking into buying your own household doctor. And Malcolm please keep yourself collected right now because although I speak nothing but the truth all the time, they're just words and words are just opinions okay friend? Last Thursday your emotion meter spiked in the anger field because someone was just messing around with you, surface level joke anger, I may add, his emotional measure can prove that by the way. Anyways, you actually worked up the nerve to tell him to his face that you would inflict physical violence upon him if he continued to just joke around with yo-"

"He told me I look like I haven't had anything to eat in a couple of weeks and then threatened to steal food from my vending machines in my car because I 'don't need it anyways'". Malcolm responded in a snarky tone.

The doctor thought for a second, gathered his words and as perfectly mellow as always repeated "Surface level anger, I may add".

Malcolm sat quietly. He's right. There's nothing he could say to try and prove his innocence. Scott (the bully from school) was clearly using what is known as joke anger, not a real emotion, so there's no reason for something like that to bother him.

"Alright ", the doctor proceeded "not even two days after that, two days Malcolm, you broke another strike". It was like all of the universe had shifted away from Malcolm. His hands began to become a state of slime induced clamminess and his feet started to tap faster. Panic rushed through his eye sockets and he could feel it burn his serotonin out of his soul and replace it with a sharp drowning sensation.

"Malcolm your brain reader indicated that you sensed what is known as sadness, then a day later you were sensing one of the most toxic and unnatural emotions, jealousy." The doctor winced as he spoke. Malcolm gulped and looked for a breath of fresh air, none in sight. "These are inhumane emotions that need to be exterminated in our great community. A community of suffering is what we fight against, friend. Uniformity through conformity, Malcolm. Uniformity through conformity."

Part 3

The nights are mostly restless. The days are bleeding together one by one like a family of melancholy ducks. It isn't helping that Malcolm only had one more cigarette left in his pocket. The bed that he had been sleeping on for the last four, five, or maybe even seven months was pretty much mush at this point from the heavy amounts of precipitation that never seemed to end. What's the point? Malcolm would often think. All of his friends would be walking across the school for the last time soon, and he's stuck in a video game. A video game. There's nothing more that he would love to do then to just leave.

There is no out. There is no fight in this life. There is only acceptance.

He woke up under the moon, he was able to build quite a home for himself out of beach towels and rugs hanging from two dead trees like a hammock. The rain doesn't stand a chance. As he got up he got a feeling of disobedience. It was against the law in GMA to be out past 9:00 pm without at least four acquaintances wearing the same color shirt and hairstyle as you. And by the way the stars were shining and the moon was visible through the blue and white painted beach towel, Malcolm knew it was well past 9:00 pm. He briefly considered getting up and seeing what it's like to be a criminal, walking alone in the whitened moon light. This is unethical of course, but it slipped into his conscious out of nowhere.

"My evil tendencies exceed me". He said as he got up, laced his shoes, and let the night absorb him into dead trees and isolation.

Part 4

Malcolm walked. He walked towards dead trees, deader trees, and the deadest trees. His heart-rate had actually managed to slow down. He had been having an episode. He was told once by a very important politician that leaving the house past 9:00 pm without four acquaintances wearing the same color shirt and hairstyle would result in a most unusual fate. Your heart would be set on fire and then pulled out of your chest by a squadron of rabid half starved rodents and poverty stricken humans. He may have been two or three years old when he first heard it, he couldn't quite remember. But much to Malcolm's relief, there were no rats, and not a human being sharing the same earth as him. He was thinking about all the right and wrong that had got him where he was when the strangest thing happened. He opened his mouth towards the sky above and nearly turned into a pool of shock when he found that there wasn't a single drop of water touching him. An abnormal, swaying structure appeared in his vision. It moved freely. As Malcolm walked closer he got a sense of hope. The craters of the moon stretched down and lit the shape up. It was a female unlike anything god had graced him with. Back home at GMA women were not allowed to exceed a weight of 155 pounds. This woman had to have been at least 240. Her hair was thinning, her eyes looked bright orange as she moved so freely. GMA citizens were only allowed to dance to the top trending music. There was no music here. Her body swayed from left to right and she made no noises, no plastic small talk, she just smiled and shifted her direction to Malcolm as she danced. His eyes turned into bad weather. His heart opened.

Even a community of suffering can find hope within its damnation.

She was the most visually appealing and beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on. As he floated to her, he felt something. His heart opened and closed over again frantically. His brain didn't know in the slightest what it had just created chemically, but his life long nutriment of the war waging in his decisions came over him. It gripped onto his brain as he thought about her, and two beautiful baby boys by their side in some run down excuse for a home made out of beach towels and carpet rugs. It tightened his neck like a noose as he thought about the future with his feelings, for the first time in history. He thought about home, the misery he would endure settling for a world that was never meant to be his. The fight inside him began to die and he reached out and touched her monocle. This energy absorbed from her was unlike anything mankind was supposed to feel, and he smiled under his hand me down Seattle Mariners hat as he accepted this unknown emotion as quickly as he could.

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#Blogger #Story

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immajustwriteoverhere · 7 years ago

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Big Picture Ppl Don’t See Typos, Apparently

Just... Bear with me here.

16 Jan 2017

Dear Grandma,

How are you? I know it isn’t time to plant the vegetables yet, but which ones were you thinking of including this year?

School is going well, and I think I’m doing a good job balancing work with friends. Speaking of which, however, I must tell you something concerning your car that you were letting me borrow. No one was hurt, but I got into an accident earlier today. I was on my way to get groceries for me and my roommate, and had to respond to a text she sent concerning ingredients we need for a dinner we’re planning. You know I don’t usually look when I’m texting, or text while driving at all for that matter. I hit send as the light turned green and went forward, forgetting to check my sides because the car behind me honked. A car rushed the light and hit the tail end of your car. I went spinning a bit, and the other guy screeched to a halt in the middle of the intersection. I’m proud to say you car held up better than theirs did in the collision.

However, there is fairly significant damage, and your car is currently in the shop. I’m going to pay for all of the repairs myself, but I do apologize that the repairs are necessary at all.

Hoping you are in better condition than your car at the moment,

Your granddaughter, Kieran

Mr. Generic Teacher Name,

This morning I was in a car accident. No one involved was harmed, but by the time the police came to the scene, took our statements, and gave us permission to go, your class was already over. I have not been late this entire semester, have turned in all my homework, and am putting forth good effort. If it would be at all possible for me to make up this exam after having had this tragic incident, it would put my mind at ease as I fill out all the other paperwork I must accomplish on account of the accident.

Sincerely,

Kieran Mannion

To: Bestie

First of all, I’m fine. Gma’s car is not so fine, and imma catch hell for it after my mom gets over the fact that I am fine. Cars gonna be in the shop for a few days. I'll also be hella broke for awhile. Ttyl gotta do a bunch of adulting now.

Reflection: The notes got progressively shorter as my patience for this activity wore out. I understand the context and whatnot but ugh. May I just say that the grammar in the Russell and Yanez reading was horrible. “The contradiction, is deeply rooted in writing, where. one one…” This isn’t even a one time incident. I know. I highlighted them. Like, you’re writing about writing. Please, for the sake of your readers, have good grammar. The authors are using contractions all over the place, which is highly inadvisable when writing anything that could look slightly official, and sometimes they forget to put a period then a space, just barrelling right along, like it’s a tag on one of our posts. Come on.

Anyway.

For each genre, a different style of writing to be suited to a different audience. I’m not going to send the text message to my grandmother, or if I do send her a text, it will sound more like the letter than the text to my friend. Likewise I would not send the more formal email to my friend. It’s not how we usually communicate, and so would be out of place. As it was nicely put in our reading, “variedJust because you are an opera singer doesn’t mean you can croon a country ballad or scat an Ellington tune.” Just because you can write a really nice letter, or are an expert at texting, does not mean that should be how you communicate all the time. It’s ineffective, unreasonable, and horribly inconvenient.

Continuing On.

At one point our lovely grammatically incorrect guides through this painfully boring shenanigan begin to talk about the ever shifting field about which they are writing. Personally, I believe that’s more shifting in the scientific field that no one ever talks about how science textbooks are always practically useless after three years but that’s not what this is about. Looking at facts and everything, how they can evaluated and altered depending on the new perspectives that have come about and all this is basically an excuse to put in this quote: “This is useful for both historians ad=nd for journalists because they also interpret information, and shape what is considered to be fact.” I know exactly what happened here. Did anyone proofread this thing? Seriously. I would get at most a C for this kind of work in highschool, not to mention here in college.

I’m sure this is actually a good and meaningful article I just had trouble getting past all the grammatical snafooz and pretty consistent typos.

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fgjhfdrtgfd · 7 years ago

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December 11th, 2017

What a fucking year. I’m glad it’s almost over. I’m glad and heartbroken at the same time. To think this will be the last year of my life that I will be able to spend time with my grandmother devastates me. At the same time I just want to put this year past me and start fresh in 2018. So many new things are going to happen which I’m sick over but I know the hard choices to make are the right ones. It would be so easy to stay at home, hanging out with my brothers, working a stupid job and going to community college. It is much harder to take the big step of moving out, transferring to a University and throwing myself into an entire new world. I can’t stand change and everything in my life is about to change. It’s a whirlwind. I’m grateful I quit my job at the FF a few weeks ago and have had this time to rejuvenate myself and get back to where I should be mentally and physically. I needed the time to grieve at my own pace and to have the alone time I have craved over the last year. Looking back I can’t believe how quick it went. I forgot how many days I spent working, driving to Hoag, sitting at the hospital, driving home and then doing it all again. It was crazy. Yet somehow I held myself together during that time. I don’t know how I did and I can’t believe I did. I rose to the occasion and was strong for everyone around me and I’m very proud of myself for that. I was surprised to be fine after she passed but expected it to stay the same. The waves of sadness started slow and then came in more frequently as they still do. Now it mostly catches me by surprise. Walking in target through the women’s clothes section. Walking in Kohl’s and seeing all of the Christmas stuff. Seeing pics of other girls dealing with family members hospitalized. Random things like this are now effecting me more and more. I miss her. I keep thinking I need to call her or when I’m cooking rice I think to call and ask how much butter and then I remember. It’s the strangest thing.

It is important to note that I expected my entire life to shatter when she passed when I was younger. And it didn’t. I don’t know if I’ve prepared myself well and that helped but even for people like my mom who took it so hard, she is still going along just fine. It’s odd how the world keeps turning. Life goes on and the world doesn’t end. I have learned since I lost such a crucial person to my life and things continued on just fine, that I can really handle anything thrown my way. I was blessed that I was open and honest in my love for her and grateful to have had such a unique and loving relationship with her so that definitely helped.

I have found ways of coping that are not ideal for my mental state. As always, I am focusing on guys to distract me from my sadness of losing her. At least my focusing consists of things in my head and not me being a whore. I became infatuated with one of my Gma’s nurses in the CCU named Mish. It made the hospital days better because I would actually make myself look half decent and had something to look forward to that didn’t consist of my Gramma being sick and in pain. He was very sweet and different and even invited me to go to Peru with him. My mom loved him and thought he was beautiful of course. He asked for my number and stuff and asked my mom where I was one day and said he liked smart people. I still want to sleep with him just because of the story. My gramma actually had a dream I married him and went travelling or something. Haha. Her and my damn mom always trying to marry me off.

Mish took my mind off Moe for quite some time. After I sent Moe that huge text in January of this year I didn’t hear from him for a few months. Then he started to randomly reply to things here and there every other month or so. He texted me when my gramma passed which was nice. I never received a response of any substance to me pouring my heart out to him though. And I think somehow I knew I wouldn’t get one. I don’t know why he is the way he is. I don’t know if he really doesn’t care or if he just that scared to be vulnerable. Both of those don’t make complete sense. I have this story in my head that he loves me as I love him but looking at it realistically, there is no evidence of this. Many words have been spoken by him to me but there have been no actions to prove the things he has said. I need to focus on that because nothing else is real. Only actions are real. I haven’t seen him in over 2 years so how the fuck could I still be so entirely caught on him? I have isolated myself from the world so that’s definitely a potential reason why I haven’t gotten over it. My mind only knows to go back to him so that’s what it does. I remember when I was younger and caught on TJ and then Garret and then of course on Nick. All of these guys I truly thought I would marry and end up with and love forever. Did any of that happen? Fuck no. So I don’t trust what my heart tells me about Moe either because it’s been wrong many times. How can I trust myself when I led myself in the wrong direction time and time again? Moe messaged me on thanksgiving and told me I was beautiful and that he will always love me. No matter what. And I put 🙄 and he said forever n ever. I said lol. And then he says one day we will be bffs again. Well no one day we won’t. There’s too much history there’s too much chemistry now. Why can’t he just leave me alone for good? I don’t know what to do anymore it’s driving my crazy. I want the relationship to begin or I want it to be out of my head for good. I want clarity from him but I don’t know how to respond to him anymore. We are so far from what we used to be when we were younger there’s no going back. I miss our friendship and the guidance he gave me because he is similar in so many ways. I don’t have people I can talk to like that because no one else is so it sucks that we’ve ruined this. And I just want to be with him and I don’t know why I’m not. I don’t know why he has to be like this. I know there are lessons to be learnt for both of us but it’s time for me to have another signifact other and I can’t imagine it begin anyone other than him.

Again, I have always been ready for the next step when the other person isn’t. And I always have to deal with being sad initially and then getting over it and then hearing from the guy saying he still loves me and it’s always too late. And it fucking blows if this is another episode of that.

Anyways, I’m in palm desert. Been here for 4 days and have read 3 books in that time. I am in better physical shape than I ever have been and my passion at the gym has been reignited. I am ready for life to blossom and for new opportunities.

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aberrantchaser-blog · 7 years ago

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The Lego Ninjago Movie Spoiler full Review

Table of Contents: Personal Background, Review, crush/love letter, Ambivalent, Things I wish they: expanded on, had, had done, Irritated slightly by, kept in, noticed. The things I enjoyed: thought clever, funny, lessons, liked, tugging on Heart Strings, Fun observations.

Background I’m not part of the Ninjago show fandom (though I have seen spitbrix’s & tannerfishies’s videos on the subject). I just saw the 1st TLNM trailer on May 21st & have been intrigued ever since & somewhat crushing on Lloyd Garmadon for 4 months. My crush kind of died yesterday, after I’d seen the film twice. Why? read on to find that out, & what I thought of the film in general.

Review If I were to give this film a letter grade it’d be a C, not an A as it didn’t do everything right, not a B as it didn’t have only a few missteps, but not a F because I don’t think the film failed so badly as to warrant that grade, or a D for barely passing.

No the final grade I’m giving this film is C for average, not extremely good or extremely bad, just in the middle, maybe somewhat forgettable to general audiences. To me at least this film causes me enough pain to want to forget it sometimes.

When this film lands it lands well, the heart of the story is well executed, when it doesn’t stick the landing it drags the score/grade down, but not enough to ruin 100% the film/or my experience of it.

Sure I came out of the film feeling mainly disappointed, I had spent around 3 hours with the film, & $15.59 for my 2nd viewing, but just because it disappointed me doesn’t mean I want other people to not see it, or for this film to bomb at the box office, as I’d like the Lego aesthetic to still be present on the big screen, & would like Lego to do well on future films advertising in house brands.

In crush terms, yo Lloyd the makers of the film set up a great profile (marketing) for you, yet the “date” I went on with you showed that you weren’t as great as your profile set you up to be. The allure, intrigue, mystery I felt for you made me want to get to know you, & your story was wanting. The charm you showcased in trailers also seem to have been lost/cut out in your film. (I had hoped that your film would make me fall for you more, that the time I spent obsessing over you wasn’t wasted, that you as a whole would be worthy of my attention when I finally got to see your story.) I suppose 1 sad irony of this situation is that I wasn’t able to take my owned/your representative minifig to see you on the big screen on the day of your film’s premiere.

& Yet your platonic chemistry with your dad, your desperation in wanting to fill that dad shaped hole in your life, & you working through your mixed emotions on your dad was what saved your film for me.

In short you weren’t a horrible date, but you weren’t the best you could have been either. Like your mom who expected the best of your dad, & her wanting the best for you, I too expected the best showing from you, which I didn’t get, but I still do want the best for you despite that disappointment, just maybe not with me in whatever possible futures still exist.

The rest of this post will be a list of either emotions, followed by what parts of the film invoked that emotion in me, or things I wish the film had done, & maybe not done or likes & dislikes.

Ambivalent: I’m not sure this film should get a sequel. I’m also unsure about recommending this film.

Expanding on Lloyd being bullied. Dorling Kindersley hereby abbreviated to DK’s Essential Guide memorably detailed the harassment Lloyd faced in school, producing a spirited protective response among fans, the book also generated sympathy for Lloyd in me, but that sympathy really had nowhere to go in the film.

Kate Howard’s adaptation of the film into the jr novel did flesh this issue out as well, 1 memorable exchange being Kai offering a hug out the anxiety/stress thing, + articulating that Lloyd was finding it tougher to cope with the ostracization.

Things I wish they:

Expanded on Koko’s backstory. The team’s camaraderie.

Had: More Martial Arts. For a martial arts film, this film has a surprising lack of it. Only showcase of martial arts moves I recall is Lord Garmadon vs Wu, & slightly during Garmadon’s 2nd attack, with Wu beating up mooks while Lloyd steals the Ultimate Weapon, hell Wu gets most close quarters combat scenes! Only scene involving other people were when the ninjas were fighting Garmadon’s many fired generals, & that scene was too brief. The ninjas return to the city after Garmadon steals the Ultimate Ultimate Weapon is more of a showcase of each ninja’s individual elemental powers, not martial arts. The Ninja Formation Featurette set up my expectations to be high, I’m disappointed at the result. (especially considering I had forbidden kingdom on the brain when I went to see the film.)

When DK’s Essential Guide bought up the ninjas relying too much on their mechs, I didn’t know the issue would extend to the majority of action/fight scenes in the film.

I really wish they had kept in that scene with Lloyd & the baby which they showcased in Trailer 1 + Outtakes, especially what they had in outtakes! That showed good physical comedy reminiscent of Jackie Chan’s old work. At least we would have 1 ninja having time to adequately showcase their martial abilities/skills.

More time, really felt like film was too short to do all it could have.

More interior shots of the Destiny’s Bounty.

Had done: Had the ninjas use their personal weapons. DK’s Essential Guide as well as the 1st time we saw the ninja in Trailer 1, hyped me up for that.

Instead both above issues/scenes are kept to the 1st few scenes of Good Morning Ninjago.

Speaking of the other ninja, while I expected this film to lean more to Lloyd + friends, instead of being a true ensemble piece, & expecting not to be disappointed with that, I am surprisingly sad about the other ninjas not each getting much time to shine. Hell if I hadn’t read the Essential Guide or seen the Behind the Bricks Featurette, I likely would have no or very little sense of their personalities.

A more personal beef was I wish they could have showcase Lloyd’s dragon mech more. It hurt when the mechs got totaled by Meowthra, but it didn’t hurt as much as it could have. Wish the film could have shown us the Ninja 1st debuting the mechs, then montage the ensuing status quo of ninja mechs beat garmadon, that would have made it really hit home when the mechs weren’t able to beat the Garma Mecha Man, signifying a change of the status quo in Lord Garmadon’s favor, & have the pain of the mechs being lost hurt that much more when Meowthra totals them.

Like Ghost in the Shell Have a montage of the city to get to know the place, Lloyd parkouring home after the 1st day isn’t enough, all that have 1 or all of the Ninja be able to take a moment & just appreciate their city, find it beautiful, like that mind controlled garbage guy did vs the Major in her invisibility suit.

Dorling Kindersley hereby abbreviated to DK’s Essential Guide + The Making of the Movie excerpts made me really interested in Ninjago City, just a shame we didn’t get to explore it more.

DK’s Essential Guide actually set up a lot of things that wasn’t in the film. Like each member of the team getting an arc, & using their preferred weapons in hand to hand combat, their personalities, detailing Lloyd being bullied, Garmadon’s army, really expected that new General #1 who tore off Lloyd’s arm to play a bigger part, like she took over the Shark Army ala Starscream when Garmadon left to track Wu, giant stone dog guards that would guard the Ultimate Ultimate weapon temple, & help Jay complete his arc. Maybe the ninjas using a Tornado of Creation to rebuild the city after Meowthra’s destruction. Maybe more expansion on Lloyd/The team all being Master Builders. The DK & Lloyd’s Scholastic book give the impression that Lloyd designed & built the teams’ mechs himself.

Irritated slightly by: the use of hard knock life. the Ultimate Weapon random montages.

Kept in maybe trailer 2’s going back to roots, & what Lloyd says before his arm is torn off, I haven’t felt this good in a long time, & Lloyd’s yeah but I feel like there’s more to Garmadon that I need to know.

What I Noticed: the film is more consistently heartwarming, but the marketing was more consistently charming, funny.

Some shots were definitely made to be seen in 3d, especially some in the mech battle in Garmadon’s 1st attack, I saw the film in digital.

eyeofthewolfe, I really envy that you’re 1 of the people who aren’t feeling like me, I want to be part of this in-group of yours. But ultimately I’m not, hope you’ll still accept my point of view as valid, & that we can continue to talk while still respectfully disagreeing with how we each see the film.

Since I want to end on a good/happy note.

What I thought was Clever took my 2nd viewing to recognize the parallels between each Lloyd/Dad scene + the concept of catch, granted I like they were more subtle with it in the Behind the Bricks featurette.

The Inner Piece metaphor, which I should have also taken literally considering this is a lego film.

The 6 or so cut shot of the effect of Lloyd’s Dragon Mech Missile Massacre.

Some of what those poor fired generals said to Lord Garamdon when he asked for suggestions.

Despite being somewhat irritated by not calling it, all said fired generals banding together to become antagonists.

Wu’s lines about defying the [The Mentor Dies] trope.

Funny some of what Garmadon does during that GMA style montage & other attacks on the city.

Apparently Wu’s like Sun Wukong’s master Old Boy in the odd birth department.

Lessons learning to see things from a different point of view.

Learning to rely on something else besides tech.

Liked the score, voice acting.

Tugging on Heart Strings nearly every scene with Lloyd & his dad whether bickering or bonding. The scores A Wish & A Ruined City, Arm Popping Flying Lesson, The Lady Iron Dragon, Here Kitty Kitty, Big Hug.

& the Koko/Lloyd scenes.

Lloyd, Misako, Nya teaching the fired generals new life skills.

Fun facts 1st viewing 1 kid I presume gasping in outrage when the Kid referred to Lloyd as just a kid.

2nd viewing really like some kids commentary on how Wu couldn’t die & other show references. Wish I could recall what jokes got the most laughs though.

Lloyd really reminded me of RWBY’s S2 Blake in worrying bout what the antagonist was up to, which the vol 5 theatrical showing was advertised in the theater I was seeing the film in.

That & he was a nice mix of Atla’s Zuko/Luke Skywalker in the dad issues department, although Lloyd/Wu’s bond more reminiscent of Zuko/Iroh.

Maybe another comparison could be made between this film’s familal relationship & Despicable Me.

#the lego ninjago movie #TLNM #cinemajago #Lego Ninjago Movie #LNM

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