#she's just the best and I fucking adore her

[midnightorchids]

“Oh my god! You brought another one home,” you exclaimed, pointing at the small animal in Jason’s arms.

“What was I supposed to do, I couldn’t just leave poor Luna all alone,” he said plainly.

Jason smiled looking down at the tiny creature and gently caressed its head. The charcoal kitten nuzzled herself further against him and purred. The image pulled at your heartstrings. There Jason was, this tall, brawny man littered with scars, acting completely soft and domestic.

You reminded yourself to remain strong.

“And you even named her, this is ridiculous! We can’t have three cats, the landlord doesn’t even know about the first two.”

Jason’s eyebrows creased and he sighed heavily, looking almost defeated. Almost. He was not going to back down. He ran a hand through his dark locks and sulked.

“But look at her babe, just look.” He brought the cat closer to you and you stared into her glassy emerald eyes. “She was in trouble, I helped her. Please sweetheart, she doesn’t have a home,” Jason desperately pleaded. You rolled your eyes, there was just no way you both could take care of another pet.

Jason had a habit, everytime there was an animal in danger, he quickly brought them home. He’d feed the strays, take them to the vet and try his very best to bring them back to good health. It was admirable, however, it was starting become an issue. Every cat he encountered was now quickly becoming a part of the family.

“Jay, look, I know you think we can take care of another cat, but I just don’t-“

Before you could complete your sentence, the kitten meowed. That was it. The final straw. It was the softest sound you had ever heard. The small creature was completely and utterly adorable, you couldn’t just give her away.

“Oh no, no, no. She can’t do that, no,” you muttered, reaching a borderline melt down. The cuteness aggression was very real in that moment. The tiny cat stretched in Jason’s arms and he scratched her chin causing her to purr loudly.

“Fuck, okay fine, we can keep her,” and you watched Jason’s lips contort into a large grin. You sat down next to him on the couch and petted the kitten’s head.

Jason smiled again and kissed your cheek.

“We should get a bigger place, the family keeps growing,” he announced and you nodded your head, not entirely aware of what he had just said. You were completely entranced by the animal.

Jason couldn’t stop the look on his face as he admired his two girls. This was home.

[baptismbaby]

★ ⁺.𝘜𝘕𝘗𝘜𝘕𝘐𝘚𝘏𝘈𝘉𝘓𝘌

toxic!ellie x reader summary: you and ellie are on and off constantly and have been for years. but you can’t stop coming back for more… until finally, you’ve just had enough. warnings: this one is gonna be PRETTY rough. slight age gap but nothing toooo crazy (reader is 21, ellie is 28). ellie isn’t just toxic but she’s also kinda insane. Weird as hell matter of fact. slapping, choking/breath control, hair pulling, strap(r!receiving), fingering (r!receiving). ellie is manipulative. ellie’s bit of a player but doesn’t actually physically cheat. she just flirts w other girls smh my head (fr irritated over this fact as if i aint the one who’s writing her this way) note: listen to unpunishable & crush-stripped by ethel cain. hope u guys enjoy the ride Wc: 5.1k<3

God, you hated and worshipped Ellie at the same time. She was simultaneously the worst and best person you’ve ever met. You remember how infatuated with her you were when you were a senior in high school. She was the town’s local mechanic. The shop was owned by her step dad, Joel Miller, who did a lot for the school you attended. You would see her pretty often due to the shitbox you drove back then. You were only seventeen at the time so she never seemed too interested in you but would compliment you here and there when she wasn’t being dry. You thought she looked so cool with her oil covered hands, marlboro red stuck between her chapped lips, and camo jacket sleeves pushed up to her elbows to reveal her tattoos and randomly placed scars. You thought you were in over your head, trying so hard to catch her attention knowing she was bit of a whore who fucked women and pushed them aside. You’d wear short skirts that revealed your ass with the tiniest gust of wind and low cut crop tops. You’d linger around to watch her work on your engine, eyeing her skilled fingers and later touching yourself to the thought of them. You wanted her to really notice you and give you a chance, even if it meant she’d treat you how she did all the other women. Just a random fuck.

On your eighteenth birthday, you made sure you would run into her at some point during the day to let her know you were officially an adult. You remember being crushed when she laughed and rolled her eyes at you, informing you that you were still too young for her. But it didn’t stop you from getting what you wanted. You showed up pretty often at her job for six months after that until you got a new car. Ellie noticed your absence and went looking for you at your college. When she showed up to your dorm, it was from there the two of you formed a relationship. In the beginning, Ellie was quite gentle with you. It shocked you at first considering her reputation but you adored every second of it. You were fine if she used you too and Ellie knew that. After a while, that was what Ellie really loved most about you. How you were willing to try filthy things with Ellie just to please her, whether you liked it or not, and how you dressed how Ellie told you.

But Ellie always gets bored after a period of time, always needing something to happen so she isn’t in a routine. So she broke up with you right before your nineteenth birthday. To this day, your reaction to the news is still one of the best moments of Ellie’s life. You couldn’t stop blowing up her phone, begging her to come back. Showing up at her job and at her house just to ask her to tell you what you did wrong. It wasn’t until one day, you pushed past her and went straight to her bedroom, that she actually took you back. Walking in to see you fully undressed and on your knees waiting for her made her melt. You were wrapped around her finger completely and would do anything to please her. Even if it meant Ellie was just using you.

Once again, Ellie was acting strange. You knew this meant she was about to break up with you and you mentally started preparing yourself for it. You created scenarios in your head and created a script on what to say when she finally does it and how you would come back to her this time. You often considered just waiting for her to come to you but were too afraid that she wouldn’t. You needed her more than you’d like to admit and it’d kill you if she didn’t take you back or wanted you. 

Ellie took you to the bar to “dance,” she said. But you were left alone for a whole half hour, downing a variety of fruity cocktails until you could hardly see.

“Ellie,” you slurred under your breath, looking side to side to see if she was nearby. “Where the fuck are you?”

You stumbled out of your seat and stood up straight, pulling down on your skirt a bit before slowly walking through the crowd. You kept gently bumping into people which felt like you were being pushed due to how drunk you were. You’d hiccup out an apology before continuing your search. You stopped when you noticed a girl towered over another one against a wall, her hand brushing up and down the woman’s side. You thought your blurry eyes deceived you but from this distance, it looked like Ellie. Ellie was a lot of things but she sure as hell wasn’t a cheater. You began to tip toe over, too nervous for the unknown couple to see you so it wouldn’t seem as if you were being a creep if it wasn’t Ellie. But the more your eyes focused, you could see her camo jacket and messy short hair clearly. Your heart sank to your stomach, tears filling up your eyes and threatening to fall down. But the sadness that engulfed your heart quickly turned into anger. 

“Ellie!” you roared, catching her attention. She didn’t jump or seem surprised. She just sent you a sly smile while backing away from the girl who looked at you like you were crazy.

“Relax,” yelled Ellie calmly over the music. “We’re just talking. Making friendly conversation.”

“Yeah, too friendly!”

“What, I’m not allowed to talk to other people?”

“Who is that, Ellie? Your girlfriend?” the other girl questioned.

Ellie eyed you up and down with a smirk. Perfect, she thought. “Nah,” Ellie drawed out. “Just some chick.”

“Some chick? Some chick?!” you screeched. At this point, the whole bar was watching everything go down. Someone was already out looking for the shit security so they could put a stop to it.

“Yeah, some chick,” Ellie spat out at you. “Go get a ride home and leave me alone.”

Something took over you in that moment. You were used to Ellie’s little games but this was new. This was different. You didn’t care about the other toxic shit she did but this was unacceptable. You didn’t prepare yourself for this and was unsure what to do. Without a second thought, you charged towards her and back handed her so hard she lost her balance. She fell against the wall, her hand clutched to her cheek and eyes wide. You’ve never seen that expression on Ellie’s face before. She was so stoic, nonchalant and cool. You weren’t sure if it was hurt you were seeing or if she was impressed that you actually hit her.

“You wanna be that way, Ellie? Huh? Fine! I’ll leave you to it!”

Before you could say anything else, a pair of strong arms wrapped around you and picked you up. “Hey, let her go, you don’t have to do that asshole!” you heard Ellie shout from behind you. You were steady beating and kicking the man but he kept a firm grip on you. Before you knew it, you were on your back and you yelped out in pain. “What the fuck, man?”

You opened your eyes to see Ellie shoving the security man inside, hearing him say something about calling the police. Ellie turned towards you and kneeled down. “You okay?”

She tried helping you up but you shoved her hand off, getting up on your own and backing away from her. “Leave… me… alone! God, this is all your fault!”

Ellie’s face dropped in anger. “You’re the one who fucking hit me!”

“Whatever, Ellie! I don’t want to talk about this anymore! I want you out of my life!”

“Fine! I’ll call you an uber and I’ll stay the fuck out of your life!”

While the two of you sat on the ground waiting for your uber, Ellie kept thinking about how happy she was. You hitting her was the last thing she expected and she was proud of you for it. She almost wanted to backtrack and tell you to come home with her, that she’d make it all better. But that wouldn’t be fun. It’s better to see how long it takes for you to break down and come running back. And it didn’t take long at all. The longest time was two and a half days. She suspected you’d think about it and try to hold out for three. The uber finally arrived after what felt like forever. You walked slowly towards it in silence, refusing to look back at Ellie. But once you were in the car, you glanced out the tinted windows. You could’ve swore she was smiling. A real smile, not her usual smirks or pursing her lips together in an awkward “smile” if you could call it that. She genuinely looked happy.

-

Four days had passed since the incident. Ellie was starting to wonder where you were, why you hadn't showed up or called crying. She kept telling herself you were holding out as long as you could.

A week had passed, Ellie was starting to worry. This wasn’t like you. Ellie’s house felt so empty without you, she felt like she would go crazy any second. She started spending the days on the couch in the living room, watching the door carefully and waiting for you to burst through it.

Two weeks. For the first time since she was a kid, Ellie was distraught. Confused. Hurt. Where were you? She was fighting the urge to call and text you. Now, this wasn’t like Ellie. Real feelings, wanting to skip work to show up at your door and beg for you to come back. She’d get on her knees if you asked, she’d kiss your feet and try her best to reason with you. She was willing to feel uncomfortable in her own skin just to get you back. 

Three weeks, Ellie started calling your phone. The first time it immediately went to voicemail. Ellie slammed her phone down on the floor and watched it shatter. Fine, you don’t want to talk? You’ll never be able to reach her again. Now, you’ll have to show up and boy did she want you to show up. She had so many thoughts she needed to let out, she needed to blame you for this when deep down she knew it was her fault.

One month. Ellie had gotten a new phone and was now texting you off an app.

where the fuck are you???

why wont you come over

why would u block me

what the fuck

wheres my sweet girl

i need you.

The texts popping up on your phone concerned you. You knew it was Ellie. You were done with her for good but you weren’t expecting her to reach out to you ever. You were devastated, crying yourself to sleep every night wondering why you were never good enough for her. She was cold. You knew that before you got with her, why were you so stupid to keep trying to get her attention? You just wished you could go back in time and change everything. 

please baby

come home

“Who’s that?” your mother asked as she entered the room.

“Ellie… I think I should go see her,” you said with a sigh.

“Honey, when is enough enough?”

You ignored your mom, walking past her and heading towards your bedroom. You shoved on your shoes and grabbed your keys, once again ignoring your mom’s warnings as you left the house. Maybe it’ll be different this time. It had to be.

-

You parked in Ellie’s driveway, sitting there for a second after turning off the ignition to collect yourself. You weren’t sure what you were walking into. A part of you was excited to see Ellie. You missed her terribly. But the other part of you was scared. Could you control yourself and not fall back into her arms? Is it possible that you really can be independent and move on with your life? You stepped out of the car and made your way towards the door, reaching up to knock. You flinched when it swung open, revealing Ellie with a slight crazed look in her eye. When she saw you standing there, looking exhausted and sad, she let out a sigh of relief. “Baby,” she whispered, holding the door wide open so you could come in. You walked inside and passed her, ignoring her open arms. 

“Come here,” she spoke once again after shutting the door. “Please?”

“Ellie… I just wanted to check on you, that’s all. I wanted to see if you were okay.”

“I’m not okay. You didn’t come back to me. I thought something was wrong.”

“There is something wrong.”

“Tell me,” she breathed, rushing towards you and gently grabbing your face. Her thumb began to caress your cheek, a gesture she hasn’t done since the two of you first started going out. You clenched your eyes shut and let out a shaky breath. You so badly wanted to fall apart. Maybe she’d listen to you this time and comfort you. Maybe she would change. “Baby, please.”

“You were flirting with another girl, Ellie. There’s a lot I can tolerate, a lot I can handle, but not that”

“You know I didn’t mean it.”

“But it hurt me,” you responded, your voice cracking. A tear slipped down your face, Ellie quickly catching it with her thumb.

“I know, baby.”

“You ruined me…”

“Shh,” Ellie cooed, pulling your body against hers and resting her chin on your shoulder. “I know, baby. I know I did.”

“I don’t know why I’m this way,” you wept softly. “When is enough… enough?”

Ellie knew she finally did it this time. It made her heart ache. She was used to seeing you cry but this made her want to cry with you. She realized just how fucked in the head she was, hurting the only girl who ever truly loved her and looked past her flaws. Hurting the only girl she ever loved and still loves. Despite being together for years, Ellie couldn’t remember a time she told you that. It was always you saying it to her, Ellie responding with an “I know, me too.” But she can’t actually think of a time when she said it outright. She had to force herself to face her feelings if she wanted to keep you. She needed to stop playing her little games on you, pushing you away just to drag you along once you came crawling back. Ellie finally understood that she can’t live without you. And that meant having to change for you, do right by you, and be a better woman to you. You changed so much for her, it was only fair for her to do the same.

“You know I love you, right?” Ellie muttered. You froze, your grip on Ellie tightening.

“You… you wh-what?”

“I love you,” Ellie repeated. “I never say it but I do. I’m… an idiot.” She pulled away so she could look you in the eye. “I know I fuck up… a lot. I don’t want to do that again. I want to be better.”

You weren’t sure what to say. It meant a lot to hear that from Ellie. You knew she wouldn’t say it if she didn’t mean it, either. It was obvious to you from the beginning that Ellie was awkward discussing and being open about her feelings. Hell, most of the things you knew about her came from her step dad, Joel. She refused to talk about her past or talk about anything too personal. In all reality, you only knew the Ellie with the walls she built around herself. This was a huge step for her. And you wanted the wall to collapse even further. You wanted her to give herself completely to you as you’ve done with her.

You decided that words weren’t enough. Instead, you pressed your lips against hers, moaning softly at the contact. God, you missed her lips. Ellie’s arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you closer, deepening the kiss. Her nails dug into your slightly exposed hip bone, causing you to whine. Soon enough, Ellie was picking you up and taking you to her bedroom. She threw you on the bed and crawled over you, eyes taking all of you in before stealing another kiss from you. The makeout session was sorta rough and messy, the two of you clawing at each other and groaning, desperate to be closer. 

“What do you need from me, baby?” Ellie asked between kisses.

“Hurt me… please, Ellie… hurt me.”

Ellie wasted no time grabbing a handful of your hair and yanking it back, forcing you to look at her. You moaned loudly, watching her carefully with your mouth hung open. She used her thumb to part your lips more before shoving it inside, making you suck and bite on her thumb.

“Do you think anyone else would have you if they knew how dirty you are?” Ellie asked in a condescending tone. You shook your head no. “Atta girl.” She pulled you towards her until you were sat up straight. She grabbed the bottom of your shirt and yanked it roughly over your head, throwing it down to the ground. You lifted up your hips to make it easier for Ellie to pull off your pants and underwear in one swift movement. “Fuck, baby. This mess for me?”

“Ellie-” Ellie cut you off with a slap before wrapping her hand around your throat, pressing the sides of your neck gently.

“All I need is a yes or no, got that?”

“Y-Yes,” you whined.

Ellie let you go and leaned forward to give you another kiss before shoving you back down. She hovered over you, her free hand travelling down your body until it reached your throbbing cunt. She pressed a finger against your clit, watching in awe as your body jolted from the contact. “You want more, pretty girl?”

“Please?”

Ellie smirked, bringing her fingers down to your entrance and pushing them in roughly. She placed her thumb on your clit and began rubbing in circles while her fingers slowly curled up inside you, going in and out. You arched your back in pleasure, groaning at the agonizingly slow pace she was going. It felt so good that you were almost lightheaded and the slow pace almost made it feel tortuous. 

“Fuck, I missed you like crazy. I was going insane without you. I was convinced I would die without you,” Ellie whispered in your ear. “I missed your pretty cunt. I missed how desperate you are for me. Are you still desperate for me?”

“Mmm, yes, Ellie, I-I am.”

“Hm.. I don’t think so. If you were, you would’ve been back in my bed weeks ago. You would’ve gotten this every night. Instead, you had your fingers and imagination and that’s just useless. It isn’t me.”

Ellie’s breathing grew heavy as she watched you get off on her fingers, your hips bucking up and down, needing for her to speed up. But she refused. She liked it better when you fucked yourself against her.

“You know I just wanted to piss you off. Tell me you know that, baby. Tell me.”

“I-I know, I know,” you moaned.

“No other woman could ever take your place. You’re my angel,” said Ellie. You opened your eyes to look at her, almost falling apart to see her eyes staring down at you with an unfamiliar softness. Something changed in Ellie while the two of you were apart. It was a good change. A change you hoped stayed.

“Fuck me, please E-Ellie. I need… I need to feel you inside me,” you mumbled out. “Please!”

Ellie wasted no time getting her fingers out of you, sucking them clean and moaning at the taste of you. She began to quickly undress herself, going to the drawer to take out the harness and toy. She slipped it on once she was finished putting it together and made her way towards you. She grabbed your hair, tugging it until you understood that she wanted you to stand up and get on your knees.

“Get it ready, baby,” she demanded, placing the tip of her strap on your bottom lip.

“But Ellie, I-I’m so wet already… please, I need you.”

Ellie gave you a quick yet harsh slap, shoving her fingers inside your mouth to open it. She pushed the strap inside, sighing at the sight of her cock in your mouth.

“I don’t care how wet you are, I just love facefucking you.”

You slowly bobbed your head back and forth, looking up at Ellie through your eyelashes. Ellie placed her hands on either side of your head and began to push you further down, thrusting her hips forward. The sight of you on your knees while Ellie fucks your face was enough for Ellie to believe she could cum by just watching you do this. She knew if she didn’t look away, she probably would. Especially when tears started to fill your eyes. She pulled it out, leaning down to your level to give you a sloppy kiss.

“You’re so beautiful,” Ellie said when she broke the kiss. “I want you to bend over at the edge of the bed, okay baby?”

“Yes ma’am,” you responded, receiving a good girl from Ellie. You stood up and went to the side of the bed, bending over and slightly arching your back. You felt Ellie’s hands caress your ass before giving it a smack. You jumped at the contact and moaned, shivering as a rush of excitement ran through you. You felt the tip of Ellie’s strap brush against your entrance. Ellie thrusted harshly into you, moaning out at the sound of you calling her name.

“Is this what you needed?” Ellie asked, pulling out to thrust into you harder.

“Fuck!” you whined, gripping onto the bed sheets.

Ellie began fucking you roughly, at a speed that was so unbearable yet you couldn’t get enough. “Is it? Hm? Is this what you needed?”

You tried to answer but couldn’t. The only thing you could do was whine louder, the feeling of Ellie’s cock slamming into you making your brain foggy. You could only focus on one thing at a time and answering a question was the last thing on your mind. Ellie wrapped both of her hands around your neck and pulled you back, forcing you to arch even more. You let out a whimper at the sudden contact, unable to breath as the blood rushed to your head.

“You can’t be a braindead whore already,” Ellie spat out. “Tell me this is what you needed or I’ll stop.”

“I.. needed… th-this,” you gasped out, squeezing your eyes shut as you started to feel lightheaded. Ellie let go, smirking as you took a deep breath, your head dropping to the mattress from feeling too heavy. You could hardly think or even feel relief from being able to breathe again. Ellie wasn’t letting up, only fucking you harder and deeper that you were convinced she would tear you apart. The room was filled with the most obscene, filthiest noises. If anyone were to walk by the house, they’d probably think someone was watching porn on full volume. Or that someone was getting murdered.

“That’s it, sweet girl,” Ellie praised. “Taking every inch of my cock so well.”

You felt your legs start to wobble, unable to hold yourself up from how weak you were getting. “E-Ellie, please, I can’t hold m-myself up… anymore… please!”

“You can take it baby, I know you can,” Ellie encouraged you. But you couldn’t. You really couldn’t. You barely raised your head just enough to catch a glimpse of you and Ellie in the mirror in front of you. Fuck, the expression on her face as she fucked you made you whine even more. You couldn’t take your eyes off of her, glancing back and forth between her face and her tits bouncing. It wasn’t long until you felt close, your moans getting raspy as your voice gave out, your breathing uneven and legs trembling.

Ellie grabbed your hair and yanked your head up, forcing you to make eye contact with her through the mirror. She leaned forward and pressed her lips against your ear, kissing it softly and biting it afterwards. “I want you to watch yourself come undone for me,” she whispered. “Hold on a little longer. You’ve been taking my cock so well, keep going, baby.”

“I-I c-can’t!”

“Yes you can, don’t think about anything else. Just let go, I’ll keep you up.”

In a swift movement, Ellie pushed you forward slightly so that your left knee was on the mattress and grabbed your right leg to hold against her hip. While it relieved you to be off your feet, this new and strange position only made her go deeper. You cried out in pleasure, almost going crazy feeling your orgasm build up. You were so desperate for release, ready to collapse onto the bed and catch your breath. Ellie kept your head held up by your hair, her nails digging into your right thigh as she picked up the pace. It wasn’t only but a few seconds after that that you were cumming, screaming out her name and attempting to pull yourself away from Ellie by clawing at the bedsheets. Ellie let go of your hair and leg, wrapping her arms around your waist and pulling you back so that her cock was fully in you again. It was unbearable feeling her still thrusting inside of you, riding out your high.

“Don’t fight it, baby,” she said.

You gave up and crumbled beneath her, letting her slowly thrust into you as you started to come down. “Just like that… good girl.”

Ellie finally pulled out but kept her arms around you, picking you up and setting you on your feet. She turned you around to kiss you, her tongue going in circles around yours. She laid you down onto the bed and broke the kiss to lay next to you.

“Fuck,” you whined out, receiving a chuckle from Ellie. “I thought you were going to kill me.”

“You’re dramatic,” Ellie said with a playful scoff. “I fuck you that hard all the time.”

“Not… like that.”

“Mhm, like that.”

Ellie pulled you against her side, your head now resting on her bare chest. You focused on her heartbeat and smiled. You missed the sound of her heart beating. It soothed you to sleep every night. As if you were conditioned to it, you felt your eyes grow heavy and shut them, wanting nothing more than to fall asleep.

“Hey, did I say I was done?”

Your eyes shot open. Before you knew it, Ellie was pulling you on top of her. “I’m sleepy, Ellie,” you said with a yawn.

“I’ll let you sleep in a minute… I want you to ride me. You haven’t in so long. I know you can take it.”

Even though you wanted nothing more than to ride her, you were pretty convinced that you wouldn’t be able to. You were so weak from before, just now catching your breath.

“You know I’m not gonna push you if you can’t take it,” Ellie reassured. “But if you really think you can’t right now, that’s okay. I’ll hold you while you sleep.”

You gave Ellie a sleepy smile before bringing your hips up and lining the tip of her strap to your entrance. Ellie’s eyes widened. She wasn’t expecting that. She thought you would lay back down. She watched in awe as you slid down her length, whining out at the feeling of her filling you up once again. 

“My sweet girl,” Ellie whispered. “No matter how tired you are, you just can’t get enough of my cock, can you?”

You hummed out a response, slowly bouncing up and down on her strap. Your legs trembled as you tried picking up the pace.

“Hey, c’mere,” Ellie held out her arms, letting you lay down on her chest. “We can go as slow as you’d like.”

You nestled your face in Ellie’s neck as you slowly rocked your hips back and forth, whimpering softly as her tip brushed against your cervix. It was sore but so sensitive, enough to already send you over the edge again. But you didn’t want that yet. This softness Ellie had in her all of the sudden made you want to ride this out as long as you could. Even when you lost her virginity to her, she was gentle but not intimate whatsoever. But this was. You could feel the warmth in your chest growing more and more, loving this new feeling. You were so used to everything else that you never thought you’d want it to be this way. But with Ellie’s hands on your hips guiding you up and down slowly as she pressed kisses along your temple every now and then made you pray that something like this could happen again. You loved the pain Ellie made you feel, you loved being nothing but her fucktoy. But now, especially now, you knew you would need and want this too sometimes.

“Does it hurt?” Ellie asked, bringing one of her hands up your spine all the way to the back of your head. She caressed it gently, making you lift your head up and make eye contact with her. Her brows furrowed at the sight of tears in your eyes. “Wait, is this too much?”

“N-No,” you stuttered. “This is perfect. It’s… new.”

Ellie smiled. You grinned back at her, leaning down to kiss her softly. “I l-love you, Ellie.”

“I know, me…” Ellie paused and shut her eyes for a second. “I love you too.” As you continued to slowly ride her, you kept thinking that this is all you’ve ever wanted. To be enough for Ellie. Maybe you were stupid to feel it now, knowing that at any moment she could pull away again. And because of that, you knew you had to soak this all in. Focus extra hard on the things you don’t want to forget so that when she does leave, and you knew she probably would despite finally telling you she loved you, you’d have something beautiful to hold onto until you were back in her arms again.

[cupidbedsy]

୨୧ unpredictable ; cb98

➪ summary: chicago weather is unpredictable, but connor and y/n always make the best of it.

➪ warnings: none !

➪ word count: 0.8k

➪ cupid's notes: it has been way too long since i've written something for connor and i am so grateful that a nonnie sent me this idea i was able to write a small little blurb for him. and yes, it is totally fucking freezing in here, please save us

© cupidbedsy ; do not copy, repost, or translate my work and designs on any other website or here

Early mornings with Connor were always her favorite thing. Soft sunlight streamed through the cracked-open curtains, the radiator hummed softly, and Connor’s arm thrown across her stomach as he buried his head into her shoulder. 

The peaceful bliss the two were both encompassed in was soon disrupted by her phone's blaring ringtone. She blinked her eyes open slowly, raising her hand to her face to wipe the remnants of sleep from her eyes. She reached over, clicking accept on her call as she brought it to her ear, “Hello?”

Connor groaned from beside, trying to shove his head further into her to escape the muffled voices. 

Soon enough, her hand was running through his hair and her phone was thrown back on the nightstand. He let out a soft sigh in content, pushing his head into her hand as she spoke, “I’m off today. No school, no work.”

“Like I would’ve let you go in sub-zero weather.” 

She said nothing, settling back into the comfort of the bed and continuing to play with his hair. However, the sleep Connor desperately wanted to fall back into left him and now his eyes were wide and his mind was awake. 

He scooted down the bed just far enough so he could rest his chin against her stomach, causing her to look at him curiously, “What’re you doing?”

“Cuddling you,” Connor stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world as he wrapped his arms around her torso and rested his head flat against her belly. 

She couldn’t help that escaped her mouth, returning her fingers to his hair and going on her phone, most likely starting her doom scrolling of the day. 

It was a few minutes later when he spoke again, his words murmured from his current position, “What do you want to do today?”

“I do have a few things to finish for class but other than that, whatever.”

He shoots her a grin, one that’s both comforting and filled with mischief that makes her stomach queasy, “What?”

“What?” He replies coyly, sitting up and pushing himself back so he’s resting against the heels of his feet, towering over her slightly. 

She takes the opportunity to climb off the bed and head towards the closet where she’s left things in case something like this ever happened, Chicago weather was always unpredictable. 

It doesn’t take Connor long to come up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her to him so her back is flushed with his chest. He watches as she picks out a shirt, one that they both know is actually his, before she moves on to pluck a pair of sweatpants from the drawer.

“Connie?”

He hums in response but he’s too busy pressing kisses along her shoulder and up her neck to pay attention to what she was saying. She sighs, both of pleasure and annoyance, as she sinks back into his warmth, letting her hands find his.

He reluctantly pulls away when he recognizes the silence she’s taken on is tainted with the slightest bit of irritation. He spins her around, smirking when her eyebrows shoot up in surprise, “What is it baby?”

“I really need to finish this thing for class and then I promise I’m all yours. Why don’t you go make breakfast?”

And how could he say no to the adorable, innocent eyes she was giving him? He sighed, leaning forward to press a kiss to her forehead and cheek, before finally planting one on her lips before murmuring, “Fine.”

ﾟ+*:୨୧:*﹤

Both breakfast and her assignment didn’t take long to finish up which left the two of them snuggling up on the couch as they watched Desperate Housewives, a show the two had accidentally stumbled upon after a late night of searching high and low for something to watch. 

“I feel like I need to restart this because if I’m totally honest I don’t remember anything that happened in the first season.”

Connor’s eyes flicked over to y/n, “Good because me too. It’s been so long since we’ve actually had time to do this.”

She smiled, curling into him. His left arm wrapped around her shoulders, bringing her closer to his side, her head against his chest and hand absentmindedly tracing shapes across his lower torso. He took the remote from her other hand, navigating his way to the Disney+ app so he could put the show on, “I’ve missed this.”

“I’ve missed this too,” she peered up at him, kissing his jaw before settling back against him as the first episode played across the TV.

Chicago weather was unpredictable, but whether it was cold or hot, it seemed to work out in their favor.

꒰ CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS TAGLIST ꒱

@toasttt11 @chiblackhawks @pucks-goals-penalties @dancerbailey3 @petite-potato4 @absolutelyhugh3s @dyslecticdutchman @this-ass-is-eikonic @winterbarnesblog @fantillisgirl

CB98 MASTERLIST ; NHL MASTERLIST

TAGLIST ; NAVIGATION

[arkhamsbrat]

can't stop thinking about jay w his chubby girl who SWEARS she can take control in bed

straddling his lap, doing her best to ride him as she's cooing praise down at him

and obviously he's super turned on bc omg his girl is on top of him looking so hot and she's saying all these things, but he also knows she's subby as hell

and he can't help the smug smile that spreads over his face when she gives up, whining for him to help, and relishes in grabbing her hips, raising and lowering her on him effortlessly as he speaks to her in a mix of condescension and adoration

like all 'what happened to my brave girl, huh? you need my help, pretty girl?'

kill me!!!!

i feel like i did a line after reading this omfg

i, like many-a-friend, am of the mind that jason likes being in control and doesn’t like subbing… but he thinks this is a fun little game. one too many teases about how subby you are and you whine, say that “you could dom if you really wanted to”.

jason loves a challenge. so he lets you have your moment. he lets you “take charge” just so he can knock you down again. when you’re on top, hand pressing against his chest to “hold him down” he almost laughs at you. jason’s not one to complain about you being on top, but god… this is pathetic. he plays along, letting you call him a good boy and all that.

jason knows you like the back of his hand. he can feel your thighs twitch, see your chest heave a little harder. isn’t much longer until your act slips up and there’s a little pout on your face.

“y’tired?” he teases, shooting you a half smirk when you shake your head. “so good at this, aren’t you?” you swat at his chest. its clear he’s teasing you. “i can do it…” you whine, and his hands catch your hips right as they rise up, slamming them right back down. a loud whine slips from you when he moves you, almost forgetting the bet you placed with him.

playing with his damn food is what hes doing. “sure y’can.” his hands retract back above his head, where you were holding them earlier. you grind your hips, eyes fluttering shut. it felt good, yeah, but the way he moves you around like a toy felt better. you let out a quiet huff. “jay?” he hums. “will you-”

greedy bastard doesn’t even let you finish. “with pleasure, sweetheart.” he’s got his hands on your hips, jackhammering you down on him faster than you can even think. “poor baby… should just let me have taken care’a’you.”

he’s wringing pretty little moans out of you, smug as hell. his hands wrap around your hair and tug gently. “gonna try this shit again, pretty?” when there’s no response he tugs harder. “no! y’win… y-fuck- you win!”

he groans, like that was the hottest thing youve ever said, and squishes your cheeks together to force you to look at him. “atta-fuckin’-girl.”

[tealeavesandthorns]

"James, I don't like what you're implying." Maria frowned.

"Well, you might not like it but you're going to have to accept it. Hugo's had a thing about you for a long time-"

"I don't thin-"

"Yeah you wouldn't. Didn't you ever think it was odd you got betrayed on a mission with him? Didn't you think it was odd how he was always hovering around you? Didn't you think it was odd that he went from simpering for Mallory as an amazing replacement to Olivia to hating him?"

"He doesn't hat-"

"He didn't hate him, god he was gleeful the first time I got a telling off. Then you and Mallory got together and he didn't have a nice word to say about him after that. Look that doesn't matter. What matters is I believe you so now we need to get Mallory back."

"He was definitely taken from the villa, there were books all over the floor, if you can get the CCTV."

"On it." James said. He never was afraid to play the rebel, Maria adored that in him, she'd hated it at first. God she'd hated it, she was always a rule follower, but she'd come to love it, even if it gave Gareth a headache. "I'll send over what I get, then pick you up. Hope you've at least packed something you can defend yourself in." Because James wasn't even going to suggest for a moment she wasn't coming.

------------

Sanderson was crunched up on the floor, knees to his chest as shocked racked him. He was too old now, certainly too old for this. He was trying to get up though, trying to straighten himself.

His hand slipped on the wet floor and his face smacked into it as he tried to shout.

Hugo wasn't too fussed about whatever Sanderson was up to with M, really he hadn't even asked about their relationship. He didn't care, he just wanted Gareth Fucking Mallory out of the way. God people thought the earth he walked on was glorious. Maria just needed a clear view of Hugo, then she'd see, that's all it was. Just a clear view of him and she'd realise he really was best for her. He knew everything about her, he could take better care of her than Mallory ever would and he'd even retire for her.... after all her family did have all that money.

Hugo turned at the sound of the door creaking, ready to tell Sanderson he couldn't talk to him like that but he was instead met with the face of M. He reached for his gun.

"Well this is a turn up."

Honestly, for a moment Gareth froze, surprised at the sound coming from Sanderson. That...was certainly not expected. Sanderson, the man who had always acted so tough, like a macho, like he was the strongest man in the world - was just a whimpering baby when it came down to it. It was ridiculous, and Gareth couldn't help the scoff escaping his lips. Now was not the time to make fun of him, though. He had to get out of here, get back to the town - back to Maria. God knows what they had in mind for her.

Speaking of 'they'...he didn't even know how many people were behind this scheme. At least two or three more, he figured. There had been two people dragging him into that van, and he didn't think Sanderson had been there; he was too much of a coward and wouldn't get his hands dirty. One man outside the door. Minimum.

He took a step back, staring at Sanderson for a moment longer, then made his way towards the door. Tightening his grip on the cattle prod. It was freezing cold, but his shirt and socks were nowhere in sight. It would have to do as it was. Gareth sucked in a breath and reached out to the door handle. Tried it, slowly, pushing it down...the door clicked. It wasn't locked. Tightening his grip once more, he pushed the door open and waited.

[gracie-eilish]

Take me out, and take me home…

an: this is kinda long!! but here is my official fic based on Lover by Taylor Swift:) any blue text is Billie’s dialogue and any pink is readers. I hope you enjoy this one!! seven and Guilty as Sin are both coming soon. Peachy (pt. 2) is also going to be on the way! i wasn’t originally expecting you guys to want a part two so i’ll get writing!! 🥰✨🍑

warnings: intoxication mentioned, slight nudity but no smut, so much fucking fluff it’s like a unicorn threw up cotton candy in here.

alsoooo thank you also for over a hundred followers! that’s so many beautiful besties!! i’ve loved writing about billie and chatting with so many of you over the last few weeks and i can’t wait for more!! love ya💋

🩷🥂🫧💋✨

“Take me homeeeee” You slurred, stumbling out of the party you and Billie had just attended. Billie had an arm slung around your waist while you had an arm around her shoulders.

“We’re going home baby, I promise,” Billie replied with a giggle at your disheveled state. Even drunk as can be, she found you so beautiful. Your rosy cheeks even rosier, your big wide eyes now hooded and hazy and full of love, and the sleepy smile plastered on your face made her just wanna kiss it right off of you.

“Heyy babyyyyy? I have.. a very important question for… you.” You looked back up at her stoically, booping her nose as you said “you.” Billie planted a kiss to your temple to try to hide her giggle.

“What baby?” She quickly bent down to grab your waist again as you stumbled backward, making you burst into the most melodic sounding giggles.

“I’m your baby right?” This sent Billie into a laughing fit. The attempt at a serious look on your face combined with the cutest little question, she couldn’t help it.

She pressed kisses to your cheek and temple in between declarations, “My baby, *kiss* my princess, *kiss* my girl, *kiss* my angel, *kiss* my magical unicorn angel baby princess,” she added the last one with a giggle. That was your little nickname for anyone in your life who meant something to you. Your best friends, Billie of course, your little cat. And it never failed to make Billie laugh when she heard it.

“Why do you ask my love?” She questioned after your giggles calmed down again.

“Because I’m like… soooo many things right? But I don’t have a thing for you, you know? Like I need a thing for you. And I was thinking so hard in my brain tonight and I think I figured it out.” You stated matter of factly.

Billie just nodded for you to continue, holding you up a little tighter, and pushing some hair out of your face.

“You, Billie girl, are my-“ You got cut off by Billie’s phone dinging, signaling her driver was here. Without rudely interrupting you, Billie carefully walked you both over to the car, and carefully guided you into the back seat before scooching in herself.

“You warm and cozy mama?” Billie asked, fiddling with the heater in the back, kissing your forehead after you nodded in confirmation.

The ride back home was quiet, a stark contrast to the buzz of the club you two were just in, as well as to your own drunk ramblings. Some people liked to run when drunk, others call exes, and others just fall asleep. Not you. You were always a bundle of energy, ready to chit chat with anyone who would listen, and Billie found it adorable, never once silencing your tipsy rambles even as you both tried to fall asleep at 4am.

“Billie?”

“Yeah baby?”

“I feel like… I feel like I’ve known you for like.. twenty years. But also that’s like not possible. I’ve only known you for real, for like twenty seconds.”

Billie chuckled at your statement. Another little thing you did after drinking, was greatly exaggerate time. For example, if it was the middle of November and someone complained about you still having Halloween decorations up, you’d gasp in shock saying Halloween was “literally like 20 minutes ago.” You two had been dating for about three years now, so Billie just chuckled understanding twenty seconds was three years in your own little drunken time zone tonight.

“Twenty years is a long time baby,” she replied softly, pulling you in closer to her side, letting you rest your head on her shoulder.

“It’s like such a long time. *sigh* Can we still be this close in twenty years?”

This sent both of you into giggles. Billie couldn’t help herself anymore, smothering you in kisses, each one accompanied by a little “mwah!”

“Baby once I get a ring on that finger, we will be this close for a lot longer than twenty years hun.” She pushed some hair behind your ear, watching your cheeky flush under her gaze.

“For ever and ever, you’re my-“

Your conversation faltered again as you pulled up in front of your place. Billie thanked the driver and helped you out of the car before guiding you up to your apartment. Not without few stumbles and bumps along the way.

You were starting to feel a little sleepy but Billie knew you’d get a second wind once you got inside, but she still got butterflies when she felt you wrap your arms around her from behind and rest your cheek on her shoulder as she unlocked the door.

Billie almost jumped out of her skin as you gasped dramatically at something, scaring the shit out of her.

“Baby!” You had your hands on your cheeks in shock, looking back at her as she locked the door behind her.

“We left the Christmas lights up!” You paused before turning back to face the lights. “Until January!”

“Is that a bad thing?” Billie was so confused but went along with it.

“Isn’t that like… against the rules? Christmas was like a million days ago!”

“This is our place, we make the rules.” Your eyes shined up at Billie like she just revealed the meaning to life.

“Oh. My. God. You’re so fucking right babe.”

Billie chuckled and kissed your temple before guiding you to the kitchen and sitting you down on a stool as she got you some water and a small snack.

“Drink up lovie, I don’t want your pretty little head hurting tomorrow.”

As you sipped your water and nibbled on some snacks Billie went into your shared bedroom to get you some pjs and start the shower.

Billie ran her hand under the water to check the temperature before stopping, hearing such a sound come from the kitchen. She dried off her hand before tip toeing back to the kitchen to find the source of the.. sound? song? cry?

“You’re my my my myyyyyyyyyy,” it was you. And your second wind Billie had predicted. You were spinning around on stool singing.. well singing something, only stopping when you caught sight of Billie.

“Babyyyyyy!!! You came back!” You cried out with a huge smile and your hands out, wiggling your fingers as if it would magically will her closer to you. And to your knowledge, it did magically will her closer as she wrapped her own arms around you, kissing the top of your head a few times, chuckling softly.

“I finished my snack and my water. I’m so good at that.” Billie chuckled and simply placed her forehead onto the top of your head.

“You’re killing me here babe.” She said, lifting her head back up and pushing the hair out of your face. You just shrugged nonchalantly before puckering your lips dramatically. Billie smiled adoringly before leaning in and giving you a soft almost angelic kiss, squishing your cheeks a bit too.

“Alright tipsy girl, you wanna go shower and get comfy?” She said holding your shoulders while you nodded. She could tell you were starting to get sleepy, but she knows you’d be grumpy in the morning if you hadn’t showered and you were hungover.

As she guided you into the bathroom, you were humming that little song again, Billie has never heard it before.

“That’s a pretty song your singing there lovie.” She said, helping you out of your clothes.

“Thank you. I’m writing it myself. Right now.”

“Oh really? You wanna sing some more of it for me?”

“Mmm maybe when I’m in the shower. I need to write more words first.” Billie nodded, holding back a laugh.

“Of course, of course. How could I rush such art?” She replied. “Do you want me to come in with you? Need help?”

You gasped and softly nudged her shoulder, “Billie! That’s dirty!” Billie kissed your cheek softly, a mischievous glint in her eye.

“Baby it’s not dirty. We had sex in there this morning.” Your jaw dropped and face flushed at Billie’s statement. Your drunk brain not seeming to remember that right now.

“Oh my gosh Billie. You have to promise not to say things like that in front of other people.” You drunkenly pleaded, face totally flushed.

“I promise mama. I save my dirty jokes only for you.” She said with a wink, making you sigh in relief.

“Oh thank god.” Eventually you did in fact pull Billie in there with you. You claimed you didn’t need any help, but you couldn’t deny Billie’s fingers massaging the shampoo into your scalp was heavenly. The rose smell of your shampoo mixed with Billie’s woodsy vanilla body wash she used on you wrapped around you almost as tight as Billie’s arms, making your eyes droopy as you rested your head in the crook of her neck, leaning back into her and she pressed tiny kisses to your own shoulder. Her hands slowly roaming around your body, over your stomach, up to your boobs, a squeeze to your hips, a couple more squeezes on your shoulders and back to your stomach where her arms wrapped tightly, and contentedly.

“You ready for bed angel?” She whispered into your ear, hands giving your hips another squeeze. You just nodded sleepily turning around in her arms to give her a proper hug.

“Thank you by the way,” Your words a bit more steady now as you slowly sobered up.

“For what baby?”

“For saving me a seat at the table tonight. Since I got stuck in traffic. I was nervous everyone else would wanna sit next to you,” You said it so small and sweetly that Billie felt her heart grow ten sizes, knowing that at every table, she’d save you a seat for the rest of her life.

“Oh babygirl,” she cooed, cradling your head closer into her as she hugged you tighter.

She gave you one last kiss to the top of your head before shutting off the water. She stepped out and grabbed your towels out of the little towel warmer and wrapped herself in one quickly, before heading back to you. She shut the shower door again to keep the warm air in as she carefully dried you off a bit before wrapping you in the fluffy towel, with a kiss to your nose.

A comfortable silence filled the room as the two of you got ready for bed. Well really, Billie got ready for bed and then helped you do the same thing. You giggled at her focused face as she carefully dabbed moisturizer to your skin, only silencing your giggles with a kiss making both of you smile.

She had her own giggles watching your droopy eyes fight to stay open as Billie dried your hair with a towel. You absolutely melted into a puddle anytime Billie had her fingers in your hair, so her fingers mixed with a warm fluffy towel was sending you to dreamland.

When she finished, Billie helped you off the counter and gave your butt a little pat as she guided you back to your connected bedroom, shutting off the bathroom light. The two of you changed into some pjs, Billie giggled while helping you with the buttons after you whined not being able to do it right now.

“I can’t see sometimes.” You grumbled as she buttoned them with ease.

“You can’t see sometimes??” Billie asked, raising an eyebrow and biting back a smile.

“Ugh you know what I mean.” You groaned, playfully smacking her hand away once she finished.

After making sure you could get on the bed, Billie quickly went around the apartment, shutting off the lights, making sure your pets were okay, and locking the doors before returning and shutting the bedroom door behind you.

She slipped under the covers, pulling you closer to her, letting you snuggle yourself into her side like a little kitten. Once she was sure you were practically purring like one as well, Billie settled into her own pillow, letting her arm rest on your back.

“Did you write more of your song while you were in the shower?” She asked, squeezing your side quickly.

“Oh my gosh, baby I did and I forgot to tell you.” But it came out more slurred, your eyes were closed and Billie knew it would be minutes before you were fast asleep.

“That’s okay baby. You can tell me now. Sing us to sleep mama,” She whispered, kissing your cheek before settling back in your hold.

“Wait I forgot how it goes.” You were still a little drunk after all. Billie giggled trying to remember your ramblings from earlier in the night.

“I think I remember.. You kept saying “You’re my -“ and then you didn’t finish that bit. And then you were singing it in the kitchen,” Billie opened her eyes to look down at you, you seemed to be asleep at this point, but the slight furrow in your brows told her you were thinking about your little song, so she continued, whispering,

“You’re my, my, my, my….”

“Oh!! You’re my, my, my, my…” you trailed off again.

“Darling, you’re my, my, my, my…”

“Lover.”

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 1/21/2025

hey it's fucking snowing here in houston texas! what the fuck!

listening: toes by the glass animals

reading: the steerswoman series by rosemary kirstein, and the gay and lesbian erotica book of the week, candidate by tracey richardson

watching: various david attenborough documentaries

playing: brief genshin impact report

making: banana bread

listening

glass animals' toes: my best friend's husband and i were chatting about music my best friend introduced us to, and my god there's been so much! i remember back in 2018 i did not expect to like them bc we had wildly diverging indie rock tastes at the time, but they really do scratch something in my brain. very good writing music, bc each album has such a tightly curated vibe and the words are recognizable english but so poetic as to be mostly nonsense. this song is loosely about The Island of Dr Moreau. my best friend has described this song as "like listening to crayons melt"

I'm a man, I'm a twisted fool My hands are twisted too Five fingers, two black hooves I'm a man, don't spin me a lie Got toes, and I can smile I'm crooked but upright

a song for very few blorbos but when it hits for a blorbo it Hits yanno

-

reading

im having a brain time that is favorable to reading many books in one week. we're going to start with some i loved and then go to the gay and lesbian erotica, which i did not love and did not finish.

talking about which post led me to this series would give you an enormous spoiler for the book. we're going to yoink the Setting from wikipedia:

A Steerswoman is a traveling scholar, required to answer any question asked of them, as long as the asker answers truthfully in return. Anyone refusing to answer a Steerswoman's question is placed under a ban, and no Steerswoman will answer their questions in future. Only wizards do not respect the Steerswomen, maintaining intense secrecy around their magic. Kirstein's work is often characterized as science fantasy. Jo Walton describes the Steerswoman series as "not only science fiction, but more science fictional than anything else."[1] Cory Doctorow says of The Steerswoman, "even the book's genre is a riddle that you'll have enormous great fun solving."[2] The Steerswoman series addresses themes of technological development, inter-species interaction, and distribution of knowledge.[4]

i ADORED these. i did basically nothing for two days except apply to jobs and read these books. these are physics brain books. these are Science Fiction with the capitals on books. the first chapter has someone derive a bit of orbital mechanics from first principles by making logical inferences from a chart she drew in the dirt about distribution of certain jewels. despite that, it's never boring! sometimes the steerswoman Rowan will puzzle over something for several chapters before something finally clicks for both you and her. the books are one big nested riddle, and you have all the pieces from the beginning! it just looks so strange from Rowan's eyes that you don't figure it out until she does! and even when you figure out one bit you just have more questions!!! and despite knowing a huge spoiler going in, part of it really blindsided me! it was a very clever bit of writing! good job rosemary!!!

and now for the gay and lesbian erotica book, which again has a 3.8 on goodreads and again i have no idea why. published in 2008 by Bella Press in a very indifferent perfect-bound ~250p softcover with the most creasable cover imaginable, our author Tracey Richardson is a Canadian writing about an American presidential candidate. from what i read, the political speeches were the best part of the book. this was genuinely groundbreaking and revolutionary in 2008 for a Democratic presidential candidate to openly support the LGBTQ+ community! i think Tracey put a more progressive veneer on some of JFK's speeches but that's okay they still hit! that man did have some talented staff members and a great stage presence!

i tortured my best friend by reading snippets of this aloud and removing her toddler daughter from various mischief as she cooked, and we got really stuck on the presidential candidate Jane's age. she is forty three. she is a medical doctor. she lost her husband ten years ago when she had her own private medical practice at THIRTY THREE. she left for a year to do Doctors Without Borders, started a nonprofit in America about healthcare access, and is now a second term senator. this had my bestie and i doing back of the envelope math and we can only conclude she never slept or went on vacation.

i have many beefs with this book, both petty and with regards to construction. my best friend got extremely peeved at the description of someone's accent as "a well heeled eastern seaboard accent". WHAT the fuck does that mean. WHERE on the eastern seaboard??? the standard American Newscaster Accent is faintly midwestern. did they have a sort of bland tidewater politician faint drawl? who knows! this canadian author cannot tell us :(

Tracey is a big fan of dropping details very late. eg we only find out on page 8 after a lot of dialogue that love interest/Secret Service agent Alex has a southern accent. Five pages into a party scene we find out she’s wearing a hawaiian shirt. i had to go back and reread the entire party scene with that in mind. on page 42 we find out Alex is an Olympic gold medal hockey player in the first year women were allowed to play Olympic hockey. earlier in the book we see her playing hockey for funsies with her rec league and we also go over her dossier in detail with Jane. either place would have been a great place to bring this up!!!

this book is also very reverent of the office of usa politicians in a way i find strange for a canadian. and for alex, a somewhat jaded civil servant. alex!!! she’s just a rich nepo baby and has good stage presence!!!! stop falling for it!!!

as a bisexual, novels about straight widows turning lesbian really bother me sometimes. this was one of the ones that really bothered me. it's kind of insane how little bisexual fiction there is compared to the strongly represented pan and poly communities. this was 2008 though so pansexuality wasn't really as mainstream, i don't remember hearing much about it until i went to college in western massachusetts in 2013.

i had to stop reading this book bc it hit me with the following:

these are both cis women. does she have an infection??????? is she okay???? the book is not going to get better from here. books rarely start out bad and then improve. i have only a limited amount of time here on god's green earth and i want to read the thirteenth volume of witch hat atelier instead. gentle reader, i hope you understand.

-

watching

again if i could log individual children's tv show episodes i would be winning letterboxd. i half-watched a lot of david attenborough docs in the background and fell asleep on a couch to his soothing voice. there are some fucked up little guys on this planet.

-

playing

good fucking riddance, even though this is basically a slap on the wrist. the multiple-step in-game currency exchanges in order to get the main in-game currency for pulling for characters is one of the more underhanded gacha systems. gambling is an ancient human activity, it is not instantly harmful or instantly addictive, and there will never be a good way to legislate it out of existence, but i do think some more predatory practices (like this one!) should be legislated.

nothing to report about actually playing genshin this week. a big yearly event approacheth, however. excited to bring you news of the new four-star character, a basket weaver

-

making

banana bread embarrassment. i hate my kitchen so fucking much. my fridge and oven both need to be replaced but will my landlord do that???? no. this oven is from 2007 and does not hold a consistent temp, which is fine if im roasting chicken thighs and it randomly spikes the temp and doesn't heat in one quadrant, but it makes it Very Difficult to bake. i think this was a combo of an inconsistent inner temp and forming a slightly burnt crust that did not want to pull out of the perhaps undergreased pans. fuck an aldi nonstick spray i guess. i SLATHERED that thing and it still had to be persuaded out of the pan.

i consistently forget that martha stewart consistently produces baked goods that are just a touch oilier than i like. you could lose a good two tablespoons of butter in this and not notice it much, i think. a very wet recipe. added in one orange's worth of zest bc i like it.

[eybefioro]

Do you want some fluff?? Do you crave some funny and cute interactions between the husbands and a cat?? DO YOU WANT TO SEE SOME BEAUTIFUL ART??? I have it for you!!

Back in December I had a very silly, very cute idea for the @goodomensafterdark Pillow Fight. When I offered it for collaboration in the GOAD server @kiratastic immediately jumped in... and instead of a single illustration SHE DID 4 COMIC PAGES. F O U R. And they're so adorable!! Seriously, they're perfect. 😭

Darling!

Rated G, ~7,3k words.

Summary:

One day Darling, one of the town's stray cats, meets a weird couple that just moved in. It's strange that this white haired man keeps calling her name, but that's alright; his pets are the best. Or: The husbands meet a cute cat when they move in South Downs, and her name happens to be Crowley's preferred endearment. Crowley has to begrudgingly share Aziraphale's attention with Darling, and she's all too happy to get all attention just for her.

Excerpt:

"Now come sit, darling." He didn't need to ask twice. Darling jumped from the windowsill, directly into his lap, and at the same time, Red Hair sat on the other side — if that could be called sitting, the way he spilled his limbs on the booth — facing away from Angel. "Oof, oh, Darling! Do you want some cuddles?" "Ngk— nyeh— ggh, I'd like that actually—" Angel looked straight ahead, surprised but with a bastardy smile that Darling couldn't see, since she was too distracted by the soft fingers petting behind her ear. "Oh fuck— you were talking to the cat?!"

Read it on Ao3! 💛

As usual, thanks to my betas @itsscottiesstark @captainblou ily <3

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

NPD + low sympathy culture is being jealous of your wife’s therapist.

You comfort you EP (wife) your whole life , telling her your best advice because with low sympathy it’s even hard to care in the first place. You push down all your vile thoughts your brain tries to make because you care for her. You adore her more than life itself.

But then she gets a therapist. That tells her all the same things you’ve told her. And she can’t stop saying how that therapist validates her and how the therapist is so empathetic and sympathetic to her.

Something you can’t be anymore. Even though you’ve been telling her all the same things. Im so sorry I can’t be sympathetic to you. Infant I think ur a little fucking baby. A lot of ur shit could be solved if u stood up for yourself because I know you can but yet you let people walk all over you.

But nothing I matter says anymore because your perfect fucking therapist says it too and now she’s the holy Mary!

I’m so sorry I can’t feel fucking sympathy for u n ur shit. But I try and get over it because I care for you but once again naturally empathetic and naturally sympathetic people win over me. I hate that bitch. I hate her so fucking much.

I’m glad she’s getting help don’t get me wrong I just hate that bitch for selfish reasons lmfao

.

[silentsneezes]

I’m adoring all of your Ar/cane content! It’s really feeding my current arcane brain rot , thank you for sharing your work!

Manifesting a sick Jay/ce fic 🤞

thank you anon!! I'm so glad other people can enjoy my writing, especially as the a/rcane brain rot persists

flattery will get you everywhere, so here's a 1.8k word sick j/ayce fic in which he tries to attend a council meeting! (and suffers the consequences of his own actions)

I wrote half of this on a plane and half of it while procrastinating my schoolwork, so if it's not my best work forgive me lol, it's mostly self indulgent pathetically sick j/ayce (cw for mess, but not in great detail)

Jayce’s throat is aching and coated with a thick layer of bothersome, phlegmy congestion. He can feel it rise in his throat after every swallow, only worsening his discomfort. Admittedly, it’s partially his fault; he should’ve realized this morning that attending a council meeting with a cold was a poor choice.

His alternative had been to tell Mel he was sick, and request that she pass on the word and make apologies on his behalf. In hindsight, he'd obviously made the wrong decision in going; Mel’s soft spoken assurances would've been an improvement over Jayce’s evident illness and lack of composure. 

As if showing up sick wasn’t bad enough in and of itself, Jayce showed up sick and twenty minutes late, bursting into the room with an uncharacteristic display of clumsiness. Upon first glance, Mel could tell he had one hell of a fever, and yet she excused the muttered frustrations of her colleagues with a polite, “Counselor Talis, so glad you could join us today.”

Jayce offered everyone an apologetic nod as he took his seat, his head swimming dizzily with every step he took. His hair was plastered to his skin in a few places, sweaty and damp due to fever. And god was it hot in there. He looked around, scanning the other counselors for any signs of discomfort at the sweltering temperature of the room, but they all appeared to be just fine. In his observation of the room, he accidentally caught Mel’s eye, attempting to give her a look of reassurance at her obvious concern. 

Jayce forced himself to focus on the discussions taking place, having heard they’d be assessing the value of HexTec theories and their continued funding. He needed to defend his and Viktor’s work; he needed to have some hope, however irrational, that HexTec might help his partner. 

His hearing swam in and out of focus as the meeting dragged on, the bickering of the privileged numbing Jayce’s mind. He only snapped back to reality as he felt a burning itch settle in the back of his sinuses. He sniffed experimentally, temporarily dissuading the sensation and letting out a breath of relief. 

Of course it wasn’t that easy, the itch returning with a vengeance just a second later and forcing his breath to catch loudly, “hHH-“. Luckily, the “civil discussion” of the council members had turned into a full on argument— as it often does— and the sound was only noticed by Mel. Jayce squashed the upturned tip of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, holding his breath as best he could to avoid more vocal hitches. Soon enough, his head snapped forwards with a painfully stifled “hhHNGSXXT’ch!” 

The single stifle did nothing to alleviate the problem, but rather encouraged the itch to travel further up Jayce’s nose. His nostrils attempted to flare beneath his fingers, the absolute need to sneeze taking hold of his entire focus. 

Somehow, Jayce managed to contain his typically vocal build ups, once again squashing a sneeze into submission, “hhHGGSXCHh’huh!” He could feel the pressure of snot building up behind his pinched fingers, searching through his pockets for a handkerchief with his other hand. He felt Mel’s eyes trained on him, his stomach twisting at her attentiveness. 

His stomach dropped as he suddenly recalled setting the handkerchief down in his bedroom in his brainless haste to not be entirely late. Fuck fuck fuck. His sneezes are typically forceful, accompanied by some spray and occasionally requiring a nose blow in the aftermath. But when he’s sick, it’s an entirely different story, and without a handkerchief he's fucked. 

Jayce dropped his hand to his lap, quick to wipe his other wrist against the underside of his nose. He cringed at the thick liquid trail it left behind, barely giving him enough relief to keep the mess from dripping down his upper lip. 

At the sound of the word “HexTec” being spoken by Salo, Jayce forced his attention back to the discussion at hand. His body ached, exhausted and riddled with discomfort, but he listened to every word. After a few minutes, Mel gave him a pointed look: ‘now’s your time’. 

Jayce cleared his throat, both to gain the attention of his colleagues and out of necessity, “I know you fear HexTec. Believe me, I understand your hesitance at exploring such an unknown possibilit-hhy.” Fuck, not now, “But I’ve seen what it can do with my own eyes, the lives it could hh s-hhH-save.”

Jayce continued speaking with a steadfast determination. He needed to get his point across, for the sake of his research… for the sake of his partner. 

“I believe HexTec could be the next great innovation of Piltover. Why wait when we could be helping people now?” 

As Jayce spoke, he could feel the moisture pooling at the base of his nose begin to slip onto his upper lip. He was quick to wipe it away, wishing the councilmembers didn’t all have their eyes trained on him. As soon as his fabric-clad wrist brushed against the base of his nose, the itch returned with urgent demand. 

“Exc-hhH-cuse hhehme- hHHNNGGZXXCHh!” Even stifled to his best ability and muffled into his elbow, Jayce’s sneeze rang through the room. He could feel the mess clinging between his nose and elbow, grateful as he heard Mel’s voice intervene. 

“I believe what Counselor Talis is saying is that HexTec offers great promise for Piltover. It would put us on the map, increasing our trade repertoire and minimizing the risk of losing goods to thieves.” Mel spoke clearly, attempting to persuade with financial and economic tactics rather than the pathos of saving lives. As Mel recovered the point Jayce was about to lose, he managed to clean himself up using his sleeve— at least enough so that the snot clinging to his nose was no longer visible. 

“Counselor Talis,” Salo drawled, almost mocking in his use of the title, “how are we supposed to trust your research? It’s unsanctioned, and with a Zaunite nonetheless.” 

Jayce felt a flush of anger at the insult towards Viktor, tempted to tell Salo off in his fever ridden state. He took a moment, reminding himself that Viktor is fully capable of defending himself should the time ever come. Besides, Viktor would likely dismiss the criticism with ease, summing it up to the privileged ignorance of the undercity. 

“We’ve done extensive worgk. All of our experimendts habve been recorded and we plan on submidding themb to academy researchers for approval,” Jayce answered, his unwavering commitment clear despite the congestion clouding certain letters of his speech. 

To his utmost relief, there was no further rebuttal of his or Mel’s points. Jayce felt his posture relax ever so slightly, rubbing his left temple as the room continued to spin. How he had managed to compose not just one, but a few coherent sentences is beyond him. 

The rest of the meeting is short, only dawdling on for another 20 minutes before the counselors are excused. Mel made a beeline towards Jayce as they all started getting up, giving him an expression somewhere between admonishment and concern, “you shouldn’t have come today.” 

“They would’ve- sNRK- denied mby research if I didn’t show ub,” Jayce mumbled, putting both hands on the desk in front of him in order to shove himself upright. His vision blurred momentarily, his broad frame swaying with the head rush. 

“I had someone retrieve Viktor for you,” Mel offered as a hand came out to brace Jayce’s side, “he was quite upset to hear that you attended this meeting.”

Jayce sighed, his shoulders drooping further in exhaustion. He had told Viktor he’d rest, but he couldn’t just sit back and do nothing when he had the opportunity to advocate for their work. Even though he chastises Viktor for his poor self-preservation, Jayce acts similarly to him: pushing himself past his body’s limits out of sheer stubbornness.

Jayce allowed Mel to guide him towards the exit, too deep in his exhausted haze to entirely register what’s happening. He paused as they neared the door, his breath catching in a quick “hhH-“ and then faltering for a second. The itch tickled back through his sinuses, and a throat-burning build up began, “hhIHh- hHHH’uhH- hhhHRRSZZDCHHhew!”

Jayce practically bent in two with the expulsion, misting the air and leaving a string of mess hanging from his nose. He blinked away a few tears clinging to his lashes, swallowing against his painful, aching throat. 

“Gesundheit,” Viktor’s voice sounded from a few steps away from Jayce, his cane clicking against the floor as he drew nearer. Without hesitation, Viktor pressed his handkerchief into Jayce’s hand, his eyes lingering on his partner's sodden sleeve. 

“Thank you Mel, for alerting me of Jayce’s decision to attend this meeting,” Viktor said politely, expressing his gratitude with a thinly veiled criticism at Jayce’s stupidity. 

“Of course, Viktor. Make sure he gets some rest, hm?” Mel replied with a flicker of amusement before taking her leave, allowing Viktor to manage the mess that is Jayce. 

Once Mel took her leave, Jayce looked at Viktor with a guilty expression. 

“You snuck out of our place. Like an idiot with no self preservation,” Viktor admonished, his words frustrated, but his actions affectionate; he placed a hand on Jayce’s back, leading him out to the hall slowly. 

“I kdow-“ Jayce rasped, only to be interrupted. 

“Don’t speak. You sound terrible,” Viktor reprimanded in concern, “Foolish. You were foolish for leaving.” 

“hhHhuh… hhh…”

Viktor kept a hand on Jayce’s back, feeling every hitch and gasp that wracked Jayce’s body.

“hhHhHeh-“

The build up lasted for a painfully long time, intermixed with whimpers from the pain in Jayce’s throat. Finally, he pitched forwards with a spraying sneeze, nearly tripping over himself, “hhHHGGSZZCHhhew!” 

“Bless you,” Viktor tutted as he laced a hand around Jayce’s waist, helping him straighten up again and glancing at the spray cast upon the floor’s tiled surface. “Are you okay to continue?”

“I’mb’uh- ogkay- snnNRFF-“ Jayce snuffled, steepling the handkerchief over his nose as he remembered Viktor had given it to him. Viktor felt a flutter of sympathy at Jayce’s pathetic attempt to clear his nose; the blow sounded more like a blocked up honk than anything else, making the sick man flush in embarrassment.

“Let us get you home,” Viktor murmured, turning in the direction of Jayce’s apartment in the academy. It took a while for the two of them to arrive back at his place, having to stop with every sneeze and cough so Jayce didn’t stumble over himself. By the time they got to Jayce’s place, he was dizzyingly feverish, sweating through his shirt and evidently on the verge of collapsing. In short, he was much in need of some medicine and caretaking. 

i will likely be making a second part to this... and i might make edits to this part if i feel motivated. anyways, i hope it was worth the wait anon!! thank you for the kind words

[kars-stan-3000]

About me:

Hello, you can call me Joni - I was born in 2005 and I am a writer, drawer, cosplayer and general content creator.

My pronouns are she/they/he/it - feel free to use whatever for me, I do not mind at all. I am a genderfluid lesbian, taken and I love my girlfriend. My account is a safe space, intended to support and welcome anyone and create a safe community.

I vow to do that for you all.

Anyway, so let's get into who I am.

My interests:

Jojo's bizzare adventure 🗣 (main, if you can't tell)

My favourite jojo characters are here (in a tier list, relatively in order too)

I am the real-life embodiment of Jonathan and Giorno - call me a real-life JoJo with the way I capture the Joestar genes.

I love making tier lists. I have loads of them.

Creating (art, stories, cosplays)

I like to create - it's my biggest passion, which will definitely be on my blogs. I draw and write mostly jojo fan-material, so that's a heads up.

I'm planning on getting into cosplay, I have a list and everything I need to buy planned out just don't have the finance to YET but I will start, soon, probably going to post about my cosplans next.

Music

I quite literally listen to anything, I love music - having studied it at school I just appreciate music as a whole. I love goth music (thanks to my girlfriend for supplying me with a fantastic playlist), I love anything alternative, I adore the jojo ost - I think the creativity behind them is magnificent, I listen to some classical music, jazz, pop - literally anything.

I think music is the window to the soul, it's the easiest way to communicate for me, I use music to not only cope BUT I also use music to express emotions that I usually can't express. Music is addicting, I truly appreciate the creativity that musicians have.

My princess (my girlfriend)

I love my girlfriend, she's the greatest, prettiest most stunning goddess on earth and there's nothing you can do to hope to compare to her (sorry), she's so perfect, my darling girl needs to know how gorgeous she is to me. #needthat

Me and my wife, gonna wife her up one day, she's literally stunning (ps, she's Abbacchio, I'm Bucciarati)

Jojos 🗣‼️

Top five (if you didn't see the tier list above):

Secco - my SON, I LOVE MY SON - my son is amazing, if you don't like Secco you can FUCK OFF

Giorno - literally me. Trauma, personality, everything is the same as myself I relate HEAVILY to Giorno, my beautiful Giorno

Jonathan - literally me, I love Jonathan, he's so sweet

Jotaro - my HUSBAND, oh my God I LOVE Jotaro, he is amazing, well written, complex just perfect (bonus, I LOVE Star Platinum)

Dio - I love Dio, they are complicated, well written, layered, they look amazing #needthat, my KING, I adore Dio, one of the best villains I've read so far - my genderfluid, bisexual pretty vampire

Haven't finished it yet, so I don't have a favourite part at the moment - however, I just love it as a whole, it's all amazing

My top ten Stands:

Star Platinum

The World

Cream

Metallica

Baby Face

Oasis

Heaven's Door

The Greatful Dead

Golden Experience

White Album

My favourite groups in jojos:

The Pillar Men (including Santana): I LOVE the Pillar Men, they are amazing, I adore them - I would have them all as my top favourites BUT they're not because there are characters I like more, I just love the Pillar Men for different reasons. I love their lore, their dynamic, their everything is just. Yes. Perfect. Beautiful

La Squadra: UNDERRATED in all hell, I love La Squadra, all the characters are funny, their designs are cool, I love their Stands, their lore, the reason behind why they are doing everything they do in part 5 is just amazing - their storyline is beautifully tragic

Any group in jojos that contains Jotaro: must I explain? I will anyway, I love Jotaro and the groups he's a part of all have beautifully intricate dynamics and I find the way they're all written to be fascinating

Bucci gang: I love Bucciarati's group, their dynamic is the best by far - I love their found family vibe and heavily lean into that in all my fandom creations

Dio's followers (minus the REALLY SHITTY ONES (you all know)): solely because I think it's absurd about the Stands and people they chose like what???

My art:

I usually study Araki's art style, I love developing my own skill whilst studying his creations because his style literally blew life into my own creativity - if it wasn't for jojo I fear I wouldn't be able to create anymore, my burnout was BAD, terrible even, until I was introduced to jojos thanks to my girlfriend.

I can't wait to share my art and I hope when I improve enough to be able to do commissions, I can't YET but I will be doing commissions when I feel ready to.

I draw anything sfw and nsfw (just because I can, I think it's funny) - although my favourite things to draw are jojo characters or jojo ocs, I know I know you're probably tired of jojos but I am NOT.

Jojos saved my creativity.

Interactions, moots and important stuff:

I am usually friendly to anyone, as I said this is a safe space, unless you are the following (aka my dni):

General dni, (r*cist, p*do, anti-lgbt etc)

Pro-ship (please fuck off)

Infantalising, stereotyping, demonising and sexualising mental health issues, disorders, disabilities (mental and physical) and any other issues - get the fuck off my page you sad little shits

THOSE art critics who "fix" other art non-consensually

People who sexualise alternative people - again, fuck off

I highly encourage the following to interact though:

Jojo fans

Artists, writers, cosplayers

Goths

Lgbtqia+

If you want to be a mutual, then feel free to dm me to talk bout it! I have a few images below that summarise my interests, I am always ALWAYS willing to talk to people.

^ Kira Yoshikage, drawn by yours truly (I love this, it's an old character study) ^

Alt accounts and my wife:

Check out this account, this is my darling: @miistafucker

Here are all my alts (can not figure out how to mention them so take the links) -

Giorno - the-real-giorno

This is my ART BLOG ✨️

I upload my art here, mostly, love that for me - anyway, yeah so this is full of my art process, sketches and my journey and all that - because I adore art and want to share that

Dio - king-dio

This is my COSPLAY BLOG 🗣‼️

This is where I post my cosplay journey, talk about it etc, follow this is you wanna keep up with that

Santana - sleepy-santana

This is my jojo content that is NOT art or fanfic based

This is where I post any other jojo content, usually theories, memes, thoughts and feelings etc

Joni - joni-joestar

This is my REAL BLOG 💯

This is where I post rants; things that bother me, my girlfriend, my personal thoughts and feelings - kind of like a personal, general blog

Melone - melone-the-freakazoid

This is my WRITERS BLOG 😈

This is where I post fanfiction (specifically jojo fanfiction), I love Melone so based this one off of Melone because it makes me laugh, if you like fanfiction follow along here to have a regular flow of fan made material

Rohan - i-am-rohan-kishibe

This is my OFFICIAL PORTFOLIO BLOG 😱✨️💯🗣🗣‼️‼️

This is where I post any art that I believe is to my standards as part of an official portfolio for future commissions, this will be updated slowly (given I'm still improving), but it will be updated rest assured

The Giorno blog will always contain the speed-draws/speed-paints of the art I create, though

Pillar Men - number-1-kars-fan

This is my PILLAR MEN ACCOUNT 🎉

I literally post ONLY Piller Men content on here, I love them a lot and could talk about them 24/7 365. They're so cherished by me they have their whole separate blog (sorry Jotaro)

"But Joni, what content can I expect on here if all your stuff is on there?"

I hear you, and let me tell you - whilst there isn't much else that one could put here, I have SOMETHING

This is going to be my information centre where I put super duper important updates - and potentially my reblog account, where I reblog content from my fyp that I like OR from my alts (if they're from my alts I'll literally say "reblogged from [alt name], check it out!"

Anyway, aside from that, I can't think of anything else. Don't feel shy, feel free to comment, like, interact - I can not WAIT to start posting content.

You can find me on TikTok under the same name and on Instagram as "kars-stan-30000" as opposed to 3000

Anyway, here are some photos for more about me stuff:

[sinnabarmoth]

The LI's Sisters

I had this idea for a headcanon and can't stop thinking about it! If the LIs had a sister how would that sister interact with MC/you? I also came up with names for all of them just because I could!

Zayne: Zayne has a younger sister by about 2 years named Eviana who is just polar opposite of Zayne. Where he's sorta quiet and serious all the time Eviana is loud and high energy. You met Zayne and Eviana at the same time when you were kids. Eviana immediately called dibs on you as her best friend and would not let Zayne hang out with you two and whenever you did hang out with Zayne she was constantly blocking him from you. Then they moved away and you didn't see them again until you were adults. Eviana was the first to reach out and you got reacquainted with Zayne sorta through her and shortly after started dating him which kind annoyed Eviana. But in that way that your friend says she thinks your brother is hot and you look at him and see just an annoying creature.

"You're in love with my brother?"

"Yes."

"Really?

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"She's sure, Evi."

"No one's talking to you, best friend stealer!"

Xavier: Xavier and his sister are actually twins, his sister's name is Izarra. Now you met Izarra way before you met Xavier. You two went to the same university and met in class, became quick friends, you were also co-workers at this part time job at a little on campus cafe. She's a lot more bubbly and extroverted compared to Xavier. You knew that Izarra had a twin brother but you didn't really ever see pictures of him so you didn't know what he would look like outside of being a male version of Izarra. So when you met Xavier and started dating it wasn't until Izarra was trying to make birthday plans with you that you realized the boyfriend you had been telling her about is also her twin brother.

"What do you think of going to a club for my birthday?"

"Sounds fun! Wait, your birthday is the 16th, right?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Dang it. That's my boyfriend's birthday too!"

"You're kidding. You know I've never actually met this super hot boyfriend of yours now that I think about it."

"Oh right, here's a picture of him. His name is Xavier."

"...that's my brother."

"What?!"

Rafayel: Rafayel has an older sister named Damita who is a lot like him, has a lot of sass to her, a bit dramatic, but is more mature in that way being the eldest sibling/sister makes you. You met Damita before Rafayel when she stepped in to scare off a creepy guy hitting on you at the bar. Damita actually introduced you to Rafayel because she thought you two would get along really well. Despite introducing you two and being happy that you are dating she likes ragging on Rafayel and finds it hilarious when she ends up cockblocking him.

"Dame! You cannot keep barging into my house whenever you want!"

"Oh? Because you're busy making your masterpieces or because you might be fucking?"

"Both!"

"Hey, be nice to your big sister."

"She is only 14 months older than me! We are practically the same age!"

"And yet the only way you got a girlfriend is because of me."

"I'm gonna come to your house in the middle of the night and steal your wi-fi router and all your towels. I swear to god I will do it!"

"For fuck's sake..."

Sylus: Sylus has an older sister that is like 5 or more years older than him named Juno. Juno is 5' 11" naturally but 6' 4" when in stilettos, basically a carbon copy of Sylus personality wise with a resting bitch face that is absolutely terrifying. You didn't even know Sylus had a sister until he was lying in bed with you and he got a text from his sister telling him she was dropping by for a visit. Honestly, that is the only time you saw Sylus get close to scared. Juno adores you, spoils you when she stops by for visits, even flirts with you and you're not sure if she's joking or legitimately trying to steal you from Sylus.

"This shade of lipstick is absolutely perfect on you, my darling. Makes it hard to resist such pretty lips."

"Thanks for buying it for me. I normally wouldn't pay that much for a single tube of lipstick--"

"Think nothing of it. A beautiful girl like you deserves to splurge. I mean, when was the last time you went bra shopping? I bet you're long overdue and I could come with--"

"Juno, stop hitting on my girlfriend right in front of me."

"I'm just offering to take her shopping. No need to be so defensive." leans in closer to you, "But if you ever do decide my baby brother isn't doing it for you--"

"Juno! Knock it off!"

[karmathehalflander]

Don’t be sorry at all I’m doing a little jig of joy about someone finally actually understanding the point of the musical and having being the same takes as me.

Yes!!!! They are all morally grey and that’s the point! No, Evans actions were not excused he lost all of his few friends, has an even more strained relationship with his mother than ever, and his mental health is worse than before the musical. He’s not supposed to be completely hated. But the show never try’s to make you view Evan as being an entirely good person, it just try’s to make you view him as complicated! With good and bad in him! (I will say the marketing Isn’t good at portraying this but the musicals intention is clear)

Conner is autistic is the realest take and you’re so right about it. I could rant about that forever. I think most of the cast are at least neurodivergent coded. I kind of wished it was addressed actually in the show but whatever

ZOE!!!!! I love her so much. I think she’s extremely realistic for a 16 year old in a broken household. She is doing her best but sometimes that’s not enough but that’s ok because she’s flawed! Like everyone else!

Not liking Jared is so real because I also don’t love him as a character. I know he’s kind of a fan fave but honestly he felt more unnecessarily mean than everyone else. The way he treated Evan was actually fucked and we never get an explanation for why he’s so mean. I assume that he’s probably just emotionaly repressed and seeking connection the only way he knows how but god damn man. And then he actively participated in and encouraged Evan to continue with his lie and yea… Jared’s kind of growing on me but he still makes me so mad. Also all of his gratuitous gay jokes got very annoying to me. I just don’t think he was well thought out (comedy relief usually aren’t)

And Heidi! People act like she was an innocent angel who did nothing wrong. But unintentionally or not, she was very absent and while she was doing her best I don’t blame Evan at all for seeking comfort, financial support, and parental guidance from other adults. And I don’t think it was fair for her to be upset with him over that. She’s trying though and I adore her.

I’m going to cut myself off now or I’ll be writing reactions to all your absolutely correct takes all night. Thank you so much for writing this it makes me so happy to see people seeing the show for what it is

[butchnavi]

nina salazar-roberts is such a beautiful case study in comphet and I genuinely think her arc deserves so more appreciation

[cerealbishh]

"We get to, this season, explore their chemistry and their real love and their intimacy. So we get to have a glimpse into that world that just feels so pure and beautiful and romantic! And then, sort of navigating those other circumstances once they're out in the world, dealing with real... challenges." - Isa in an interview with The Knockturnal(x)

[hoshizoraorchestra]

idk man just thinking about how damsel3 literally just breaks the narrator. it is worse than the very thing that he will do Anything to prevent. that's how terrible it is to witness and to describe. man. man. i need to lie down.