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knives-out20 · 3 years ago

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The Impact Of The Intergalactic - David Bowie Opinion Essay - by Beck S.

This is an essay I wrote about the span of David Bowie's career. I wrote it for a summer school course I took last year (August 2021) for a course called History of Rock & Roll.

My teacher gave nice feedback after he marked it, talking about how it was an "Excellent paper. It charts Bowie's progress throughout his career well, and includes significant detail. I could really feel the passion you have about him throughout. In fact, there is *too much* detail! The paper was supposed to be 3 pages max, double-spaced. Still, this is a good problem to have; better too much than too little."

So...enjoy!!

From his early works like Hunky Dory, to Black Tie White Noise in the 1990’s and stretching over to Blackstar as his final album, David Bowie has rarely had a bad album or song- in my opinion. His career has had ups and downs, his musical creations ranging in the way he would pitch his voice and what instruments he would use, the people he would produce with, and the wild things he would say. Charting David Bowie’s development over time is in fact an interesting journey.

Early on in his dreamy career, Bowie would have done nearly anything- or in fact, anyone- to grow in the music world. Hopping from band to band (like The Velvet Underground), producer to producer, doing whatever he could do to get ‘in’ in the industry. His early albums weren’t taken very highly in their times- especially with the ‘man-dress’ he wore on the British release of his The Man Who Sold The World album. Although, this dress was only the start of the androgynous appearance he would soon be known for, over the course of his 5-decade-spanning career.

The 1970’s were strange, to say the least. He married Angela Bowie at the start of the decade, then welcomed their son Duncan Zowie Haywood Jones a year later. Bowie went on to be hopped up on cocaine. David donned the look of one of his famous personas, The Thin White Duke. The same persona with slicked-back ginger hair, a white button-up under a black waistcoat and paired with black dress pants. The same Duke who called Adolf Hitler one of the first ‘rock stars’ and gave off a lot of faschist energy. He said many statements he’d later apologize for and grow as a better man from, which is good- it’s better than standing by then, or even backing himself up and supporting them. David Bowie called that period the darkest days of his life, and blamed the crazy statements on his horrid addiction and deteriorating mental state. The late 1970’s were more favorable, seeing as it gave the world what was dubbed the Berlin Trilogy alongside Brian Eno and David’s personal friend, Iggy Pop. Made up of three of his albums: Low and Heroes (both in 1977) and Lodger (1978). He moved from Los Angeles to Switzerland, then to Berlin as a further decision to escape his addiction (the reason he moved away from LA in the first place). It was in Berlin, of course, where he wrote his famous song Heroes, about two lovers, one from East Berlin and one from West.

Speaking of Berlin, David Bowie performed near the west of the Berlin Wall in 1987; he played so loud that crowds gathered on the east to listen. At this time, Bowie had no idea he would be the beginning of the city’s soon-coming unifying. After his death in 2016, the German government thanked him for bringing the wall down and unifying a divided Germany.

Music isn’t all he is known for, though it is a majority. He also starred in movies from time to time. Being the titular man in The Man Who Fell To Earth in 1976, Jareth the moody goblin king in Jim Henson’s 1986 Labyrinth film (what is most likely his most famous role), Monte the barman in the 1991 movie The Linguini Incident, cameoing as himself in Zoolander (2001), Nikola Tesla in the 2006 movie The Prestige, and even Lord Royal Highness in Spongebob Squarepants’ Atlantis Squarepantis in 2007, among a few others. David Bowie dabbled in the art of acting, and was not that bad at it. He was good enough to gain a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, too. Sometimes it bends my mind that my first introduction to my all-time favourite musician was in a Spongebob Squarepants movie, back before I knew who he was, but David Bowie was never one to shy away from foreshadowing. At least one song from many of his albums would hint at the direction he’d go in for his next release. For example, his track Queen Bitch on Hunky Dory foreshadowed his soon-coming Ziggy Stardust. And the Diamond Dogs track 1984 actually hinted at the Philadelphian soul of Young Americans, which is a more famous song of his, which he went on to perform on The Cher Show with its host.

The 1990’s were certainly an experimental time for David Bowie. But to my knowledge, I think the 1990’s was a time for everyone. He married supermodel Iman some days after performing at the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert, and released the album I named earlier, Black Tie White Noise. It is known to have had a prominent use of electronic instruments, as was his other 1990’s album, Earthling. The early 1990’s greeted David’s first real band since the Spiders From Mars, dubbed Tin Machine. They recorded three guitar-driven albums which received mixed reviews from the masses, but Bowie looks back at this period- as do I- with a certain fondness; “a glorious disaster” he called it, when talking to journalist Mick Brown. Tin Machine is a period I don’t listen to often, compared to his solo stuff, but I don’t press the skip button when it comes on.

Alas, the starman’s career drew to a close as the 2000s rolled in. David Bowie greeted the 2000’s with the birth of his and Iman’s daughter, the beautiful Alexandria Zahra Jones. After suffering a- strange, as it were- heart attack symptoms mid-song during a concert in 2004, he took a hiatus from his career. I say strange because given what I know, he was trying his best to stay healthy at the time. According to my special Rolling Stone edition magazine about David Bowie (released at the start of this year), he was on tour and performing in a really hot arena. But Bowie was sober, and had quit smoking. He was taking medication to lower his cholesterol, and worked out with a trainer. Bowie looked great, and yet he felt a pain in his shoulder and chest, along with a shortness for breath. A bodyguard rushed onstage to usher Bowie off of it, cutting the concert short. He only performed live once or twice after that point, but was set on never going live ever again. And he kept his word on that, unfortunately but also fortunately. Unfortunately, because David Bowie live would have been quite the experience- I wouldn’t know, personally. But fortunately, because I do not believe anyone needs a repeat of the 2004 Reality scare.

I am actually not too fond of speaking of his final years. Nobody really likes to speak of the last years of their idols’ life before their death, so it’s no surprise. Blackstar was David Bowie’s 25th and final album, recorded entirely in secret in New York alongside his long-time producer, Tony Visconti. The album's central theme lyrically is mortality, and seeing as Bowie was undergoing chemotherapy for his cancer at the time, I see it as his way of coping with his incoming death. His producer Tony Visconti called him a ‘canny bastard’, when he realized Bowie was essentially writing a farewell album. Every song on the album is what is considered a swan song, a swan song in question being a phrase for a final gesture of some sort before retirement or death. In this case, death. Over the course of recording the album, David Bowie’s chemotherapy had actually been working and he had an eerie optimism while recording. But by the time they shot the two music videos Blackstar and Lazarus, where he showed off the definite passage of time and cruelty of chemotherapy through sparse and gray hair with sagging skin, he knew his condition was terminal and that this would be a battle he would lose. Blackstar wasn’t the first album to have been made by a musician succumbing to a fatal illness, but in my opinion it is in fact the most beautiful. It’s jazzy, and elegant, showing how at peace he had become with dying.

Blackstar the album was released on January 8th, 2016. Also known as David Bowie’s 69th birthday. Two days later, David Bowie died at his Lafayette Street home on January 10th after living with liver cancer for up to 18 months. Beforehand, he had let it be known he did not want a funeral nor a burial, but rather that his body be cremated and the ashes to be scattered in Bali by his loved ones. His wish was received, and planet Earth was very much bluer and quieter without his colour and wonderful noise.

As I said earlier on, David Bowie’s career came with ups and downs. His mysteriously close relationship with Mick Jagger, his cross with famous underage groupie Lori Maddox, the births of his two talented children, his faschist bender in the 70’s, and final bang of Blackstar in his final year on earth. Through the highs and lows, his career and his music meant a lot to the quote-unquote misfits and freaks of the world, myself included. David Bowie turned and faced the strange, shouted “you’re not alone!” To those who felt the loneliest, he surely spent his career helping those who needed to be themselves, feel more freer and braver in doing so, no matter what they may be when they are themselves. He never went boring, he never went stale, he sang what he wanted and dressed how he pleased, and kept to his word on how much more to life there is when you’re just that; yourself. A year after David Bowie’s untimely passing, his son Duncan Jones accepted an award for British album of the year that was won by Blackstar at the 37th annual Brit Awards. When he accepted it, he made a speech about his father that I will leave here, and never forget. Seeing as it perfectly encapsulates David Bowie’ legacy, and the true meaning of his extraordinary career.

“I lost my dad last year, but I also became a dad. And, uhm, I was spending a lot of time- after getting over the shock- of trying to work out what would I want my son to know about his granddad? And I think it would be the same thing that most of my dad's fans have taken over the last 50 years. That he’s always been there supporting people who think they’re a little bit weird or a little bit strange, a little bit different, and he’s always been there for them. So...this award is for all the kooks, and all the people who make the kooks. Thanks, Brits, and thanks to his fans.” - Duncan Z. H. Jones (February 22 2017, at The O2 Arena in London.)

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iheartsunset · 4 years ago

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Papa Louie Scarlett HCs

-Rosabella Ocampo is a 23 year old singer/songwriter and graduate school student who lives with her fiancé, Rudy, in a Powder Point condo. She is widely known by her legal/stage name, Scarlett Heart and is the lead singer/songwriter of Scarlett and the Shakers. While punk ska and playing gigs with her friends are her true passion, Scarlett plans to become a game theory professor in the future. She can mostly be seen writing lyrics for a new song, riding roller coasters with Rudy, climbing trees with Clover, and just vibing with Marty.

-Scarlett is rather bold and seductive, often playfully flirting with others or making jokes about inappropriate topics. I stole this from Rouge, thanks SnapCube fandub for revitalizing my love for Sonic. Alongside her flirtatiousness is her intelligence and desire to succeed, using rules and lessons that she learned from various games to apply to her daily life. Thanks to her love of poker and mahjong, Scarlett has grown to be very analytical and sly in her motives. Out of the shakers, she is undoubtedly the big sister friend as she’s kind of a bad influence on the rest of them and is always subjected to scoldings by mom friend, Janana.

-Rudy calls her “Princesa” because of her Cinderella-like backstory. Her mother was a very kind woman and Scarlett lived happily with her and her father. Her mother died in a roadside construction accident when Scarlett was only 9, leaving Scarlett heartbroken. Her father then married a woman named Moira with two sons, Graham and David, who was emotionally abusive towards Scarlett until she moved out at age 16. Scarlett’s relationship with her dad deteriorated over time and she’s basically disowned them since. She finds solace in Marty and Clover’s parents, who think of Rudy and Scarlett as their own. She also got along with the other Frostfield residents and helped Willow get back into hockey after her infamous car accident (the first one).

-Stan Twitter often makes memes of her because she’s so iconic and quotable. One of her most iconic moments was when she screamed “I wrote this next one about my bitch ass stepmom. Moira, if you’re listening, your hair is limp and you fucking suck!” at the VMAs.

-Music was her escape as a child, hence why she learned to sing and play multiple instruments. However, her stepmother made her play the violin in the school orchestra as opposed to being allowed in a punk rock band. Even though she was concertmaster and first chair, she hated life so badly. Scarlett can play the guitar, bass guitar, violin, cello, drums, the trumpet, the saxophone, the bassoon, the piano, the xylophone, the harp, the flute, the recorder, the French horn, the clarinet, i didn’t even list all of them and I’m tired already. When one of the other shakers has lead vocals on a song, she’ll take over playing their instrument.

-Scarlett met Rudy during their shared freshman year of high school. Hazelnut High’s orchestra department had its annual field trip to Powder Point (based off my actual orchestra field trip!). Scarlett decided to sneak away from her snobby classmates and teachers and have the time to herself. On one particularly large roller coaster, she sat next to a boy with a Mohawk who told her that since he was a Powder Point native, he could more than handle it. He then proceeded to cry the entire time while holding her hand. They realized how much they had in common and kept in contact even after her trip was over. Their relationship is super lovey dovey, yet chill at the same time. Couple goals, but not on the level of Prudence x Cooper x Taylor.

-The shakers got together during the 23rd season of Flipline’s Got Talent. After the shocking elimination of Taylor Morales in the quarterfinals, the remaining acts were merged together. Scarlett and Rudy and Marty and Clover were two sets of pairs merged together. They all got along beforehand and loved Scarlett’s songwriting, so they all wrote an original song together for the finals. Even though they were fan favorites and had lots of support from the audience, Bill and Boopsy’s amazing ventriloquy act was what won the show, with the upset Shakers coming in second place. Afterwards, they were approached by Janana who offered to become their agent, and all they’ve known since was success. Fun fact: Rudy wouldnt accept Clover and Marty into their act unless they beat him and Scarlett at poker. They did.

-The shakers each can speak multiple languages, with Scarlett being able to speak fluent English and Tagalog, Tagalog being her native language (Filipino gang!). She can also speak some Spanish, Japanese, Arabic, Hindi, and Gaelic because she hangs around the other Shakers and Janana so much.

-All of the food, drinks, clothes, and personal belongings Scarlett loves are various shades of red. Cherries, longanisa, red wine, and candied strawberries are her favorite. Her entire wardrobe? Red. Her LED lights? Red. It honestly scares Rudy how red everything is.

-Her voice would either be Jessica Sanchez from American Idol or Gwen Stefani from the No Doubt era. She also covers a lot of No Doubt songs during their concerts. Speaking of covers, the shakers like to sing classic rock songs as well as modern day hits. Scarlett has the vocal range to do Ariana and Mariah Carey justice.

-Her and Marty are best friends. They’re both on the same wavelength and will most likely have the same reaction to memes, like word for word the same reaction. They usually have to get Rudy and Clover out of trouble most days. I love their chaotic, yet chill energy, like the types that just sit and observe and quietly make funny comments to each other.

-She determines whether she likes you or not based off of how good you are at mahjong or poker. If you suck enough to let her win, she’ll love you forever but if you match her in ability, she’ll respect you but kinda fear you as well. If you refuse to play altogether, she hates you. She’s a game theory student, so playing any board game with her is grounds for disaster because she’ll use her weird psychology and tricks to win all the time. Ironically, she sucks at video games. Even though she loves games of chance, she’s hugely against casinos and betting, instead trading small trinkets like food or makeup.

-At the Cheeseria, she set up a poker table, a mahjong table, and a pool table for the entertainment. They unfortunately had to get rid of the Uno table because somebody (ahem, Jojo) got a little too heated over a match with Papa and Wally. And by “got a little too heated”, I mean that Jojo literally got in a fist fight with Papa and lost.

-All she watches are telenovelas. Don’t ask about The Office or Game of Thrones, all she knows is stuff like Rubi and Maria la del Barrio.

-She doesn’t like musical theater except for Phantom of the Opera. She has taken a few roles as Kim in Miss Saigon, but secretly regrets it because musical theater is so much harder than just a regular concert. She still respects theater actors, but will never again sit through Anything Goes.

-She is the only one of the workers who has managed to successfully punch Guy Mortadello. Koilee and Rudy came close, but Scarlett landed an especially hard punch to his nose. Next to being engaged and forming Scarlett and the Shakers, she says it’s the third happiest day of her life. Now, Guy Mortadello is extremely scared of Scarlett and will cry if he sees her or hears her song on the radio (which is all the time).

-She has a tattoo of a heart of her hand along with a crown. On three of her fingers are a yellow Diamond, green clover, and blue spade.

-Scarlett is absolutely gorgeous and badass, I always kept rewinding Papas Cheeseria just to see her and Rudy in the opening because I had crushes on them both. Anyways, stan Scarlett for good grades (it’s not working though I’m still failing two classes)

#flipline studios #papa louie #flipline #my hcs #scarlett and the shakers #scarlett #scarlett uses Stan Twitter #scarlett has punched guy mortadello #she’s so gorgeous istg #scarlett is funny in an unproblematic way #yes I stole the game theory professor thing from crazy rich Asians #scarlett has all the draw 4s in uno

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harleenqzel · 5 years ago

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LANA DEL REY LYRIC MASTERLIST

Below the cut is a masterlist of lyrics from Lana Del Rey’s Various songs & albums from 2012 to 2019 ( Norman Fucking Rockwell, Lust for Life, honeymoon, Ultraviolence, Paradise, & Born to Die ). These can be used as Verse Titles, Memes, and overall Quotes/Lyrics. There are a total of ~843 different lines.

As to be expected some lyrics are explicit and contain references to drugs, alcohol, and sex among other adult themes.

NORMAN FUCKING ROCKWELL (2019)

norman fucking rockwell

You fucked me so good that I almost said, "I love you"

Cause you're just a man, It's just what you do

You talk to the walls when the party gets bored of you

Why wait for the best when I could have you?

You make me blue

mariners apartment complex

You took my sadness out of context

I ain't no candle in the wind

I'm the board, the lightning, the thunder

[i’m the] Kind of girl who's gonna make you wonder who you are and who you've been

Maybe I could save you from your sins

Kiss the sky and whisper to Jesus

You lose your way, just take my hand /You're lost at sea, then I'll command your boat to me again / Don't look too far, right where you are, that's where I am

They mistook my kindness for weakness

Catch a wave and take in the sweetness / Think about it, the darkness, the deepness

Even in the dark I feel your resistance

venice bitch

The summer fades away / Nothing gold can stay

Paint me happy and blue

If you weren't mine, I'd be jealous of your love

fuck it i love you

I like to see everything in neon

Maybe the way that I'm living is killing me

I moved to California, but it's just a state of mind / It turns out everywhere you go, you take yourself

Dream a little dream of me, make me into something sweet

Fuck it, I love you / I really do

Wish that you would hold me or just say that you were mine

If I wasn't so fucked up, I think I'd fuck you all the time

California dreamin', I got my money on my mind

Drugs is in my veins, running out of time

doin’ time

Summertime, and the livin's easy

I love her so bad, but she treats me like shit

Take this veil from off my eyes

My burning sun will, some day, rise

Ornery, scandalous and evil, most definitely

I'd like to hold her head underwater

love song

We go so fast, we don't move

I'm a star and I'm burnin' through you

Be my once in a lifetime

[I] would like to think that you would stick around

You know that I'd just die to make you proud

Touch me anywhere 'cause I'm your baby

I believe that you see me for who I am

Is it safe to just be who we are?

cinnamon girl

You try to push me out but I just find my way back in

There's things I wanna say to you / But I'll just let you live

If you hold me without hurting me, you'll be the first who ever did

Kerosene in my hands, you make me mad, I'm fire again

how to disappear

The waves came in over my head

All of the guys tell me lies, but you don't

This is how to disappear

Cuts on his face 'cause he fought too hard

He's in over his head

He moves mountains and pounds them to ground again

I think about those years

I'm always going to be right here / No one's going anywhere

california

You don't ever have to be stronger than you really are

I wanted to reach out, but I never said a thing / I wanted to call you, but I didn't say a thing

This is crazy love, I'll catch you on the flip side

We'll do whatever you want, travel wherever how far

You're scared to win, scared to lose

Changing like the weather, oh, that's so like you

the next best american record

My baby used to dance underneath my architecture

We gave all we had

'Cause we were just that good / It was just that good

Whatever's on tonight, I just wanna party with you

You made me feel like there's something that I never knew I wanted

We lost track of space / We lost track of time

It's you, all the roads lead to you

I see you for who you really are

the greatest

I miss dancin' with you

Those nights were on fire / We couldn't get higher

We didn't know that we had it all

But nobody warns you before the fall

Don't leave, I just need a wake up call

I guess I'm signin' off after all

I want shit to feel just like it used to

I guess that I'm burned out after all

"Life on Mars" ain't just a song

bartender

Sometimes girls just want to have fun

The poetry inside of me is warm like a gun

I'm just tryna keep my love alive

Hold me all night

Our love's alive

Baby remember, I'm not drinking wine

Our love's sweet enough on the vine

Wearing white for their tea parties

Meditating in the garden

I love the little games that we play

When at last the day is done / I grab my keys

They don't yet know where I reside

60 miles from the last place I hide

happiness is a butterfly

Do you want me or do you not?

I heard one thing, now I'm hearing another

Happiness is a butterfly / Try to catch it like every night

It escapes from my hands into moonlight

Every day is a lullaby

If he's a serial killer, then / what's the worst that could happen to a girl who's already hurt

I'm already hurt

I guess I'm cursed

Looking into his eyes, I think he's already hurt

Don't be a jerk, don't call me a taxi

Sitting in your sweatshirt, crying in the backseat

I was one thing, now I'm being another

I lose myself in the music

hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have - but i have it

Smiling for miles in pink dresses and high heels on white yachts

I've been tearing around in my fucking nightgown

Writing in blood on my walls

The ink in my pen don't work in my notepad

Don't ask if I'm happy / You know that I'm not

At best, I can say I'm not sad

Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have

Church basement romances

Calling from beyond the grave

Like a goddamn near sociopath

She couldn't care less, and I never cared more

There's no more to say about that

There's a new revolution / A loud evolution

Born of confusion and quiet collusion

A modern day woman with a weak constitution

I've got monsters still under my bed that I could never fight off

LUST FOR LIFE (2017)

love

Look at you kids with your vintage music

You're part of the past, but now you're the future

Signals crossing can get confusing

You get all dressed up to go nowhere in particular

Doesn't matter 'cause it's enough to be young and in love

The world is yours and you can't refuse it

Seen so much, you could get the blues but that don't mean that you should abuse it

It doesn't matter if I'm not enough / For the future or the things to come

lust for life

In these stolen moments, the world is mine

Keepin' me hot like July

We're the masters of our own fate

A lust for life keeps us alive

My boyfriend's back and he's cooler than ever

There's no more night, blue skies forever

They say only the good die young

There's no stopping now, green lights forever

13 beaches

I don't belong in the world / But that's what it is

Something separates me from other people

Everywhere I turn / There's something blocking my escape

It took thirteen beaches to find one empty

I'm camera ready almost all the time

But I still get lonely

Let your memory dance in the ballroom of my mind

It hurts to love you / But I still love you

I still love you, it's just the way I feel

I've been dying for something real

Finally I'm fine

In the white sunshine

You can still find me if you ask nicely

Underneath the pines with the daisies, feeling hazy

cherry

Real love, it's like feeling no fear / When you're standing in the face of danger

It's like heaven taking the place of something evil

I fall to pieces when I'm with you

And all of my peaches are ruined

It's like smiling when the firing squad's against you / And you just stay lined up

My rose garden dreams, set on fire by fiends

And all my black beaches are ruined

white mustang

Packing all my things for the summer

Lying on my bed it's a bummer / 'Cause I didn't call when I got your number

But I liked you a lot

Slippin' on my dress in soft filters

Everybody said you're a killer, but I couldn't stop the way I was feeling

Caught up in my dreams and forgetting

I've been acting like armageddon ['cause you] Held me in your arms just a little too tight

Summer's meant for loving and leaving

I was such a fool for believing / that you could change all the ways you've been living

You're gonna hit me like lightening

summer bummer

It's never too late to be who you wanna be

Leave if you wanna leave / Stay if you wanna stay

I got a feeling in my bones / Can't get you out of my veins

You can't escape my affection

Wrap you up in my daisy chains

Let's skip the games, let's quit the playin'

Between you and me I'm usually single

White lies and black beaches

Miles in between us

We traveled for weeks, just to escape your demons

groupie love

You're in the bar, playing guitar / You're in the club, living it up

It's so sweet, swingin' to the beat

I know that you're doing it all for me

Every time you look up I know what you're thinking of

Time after time, writing my lines

This is my life, you by my side

Key lime and perfume and festivals

Taking our dreams, turning them to things

It's like magic, babe, isn't life wonderful?

in my feelings

I'm smoking while I'm runnin' on my treadmill

I'm cutting up roses, could it be that I fell for another loser

I'm crying while I'm cummin' / Sobbin' in my cup of coffee

Get that cigarette smoke out of my face

You've been wasting my time

Talk that talk, well now they all know your name

There's no coming back from the place that you came

You got me in my feelings

Talking in my sleep again

Who's tougher than this bitch

I'm feeling all my fucking feelings

I'm laughing as I'm taking my prisoners

In the smoke they can hear me coming

If you were me, and I was you / I'd get out of my way

Got me feeling so blue make a mess of the love

coachella - woodstock in my mind

For a minute it was Woodstock in my mind

They put out the warning tensions were rising over country lines

I turned off the music tried to sit and use it

All of the love that I saw that night

What about all these children and what about all their parents

What about about all their crowns they wear

Wrapped up like garland roses 'round their little heads

I'd trade it all for a stairway to heaven

I'd trade the fame and the fortune and the legend

Critics can be so mean sometimes

Doesn't take a genius to know what you've got going and to

Got a million things I wanna say

What is it all for? Will it be okay

god bless america - and all the beautiful women in it

Take me as I am

Only you can save me tonight

There's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide

You let me in, don't leave me out or leave me dry

Even when I'm alone i’m not lonely

I hear the sweetest melodies on the fire escapes of the city

God bless America, and all the beautiful women in it

Take me as I am don't see me for what I'm not

With you I've got nothing to lose

when you talk that talk with those lips I'm most certain in hell

when the world was at war we kept dancing

Don't forget your pearls and all of your horses

As you make your way across the pond, don't forget your curls

Memorize them in a little song

Shake it up, throw your hands up and get loose

Is it the end of an era?

It's only the beginning

If we hold on to hope we'll have a happy ending

If you find you're in a foreign land don't make too much noise

Don't try to be funny / Other people may not understand

beautiful people beautiful problems

Blue is the color of the planet from the view above

Long live our reign, long live our love

Green is the planet from the eyes of a turtle dove / 'Til it runs red, runs red with blood

We get so tired and we complain 'bout how it's hard to live

But we're just beautiful people with beautiful problems

Warm is the body of the girl from the land he loves

My heart is soft, my past is rough

Something close to like a sugar rush

But is it wasted love? / It's not wasted love

But we gotta try every day and night

tomorrow never came

Hey, what you doing?

Baby don't ask me why

On that side of paradise

If I had my way you'd would always stay

I'll be your tiny dancer, honey

I waited for you / In the spot you said to wait

In the city, on a park bench in the middle of the pouring rain

I just wanted things to be the same / You said to meet me out there tomorrow but tomorrow never came

I wish we had stayed home

I could put on the radio to our favourite song

heroin

The rumbling from distant shores sends me to sleep

The facts of life can sometimes make it hard to dream

Grab me by the ribbons in my hair

Life rocked me, ultra-softly like the heavy metal that you wear

Flying to the moon again / Dreaming about heroin

Probably gave you everything And took your life away

I put you on an aeroplane destined for a foreign land

My hopes that you come back again / And tell me everything's Okay

I want to leave, I'll probably stay another year / It's hard to live when absolutely nothing's clear

Something 'bout this weather made these kids go crazy / Something 'bout this sun has made these kids get scary

I'll be lying if I said I wasn't sick of it

Taking all my medicine to take my thoughts away

I hope that I'd come back one day

Don't know what it is that makes my head get crazy

change

There's something in the wind I can feel it blowing in

Lately I've been thinking it's just someone else's job to care

Who am I to sympathize when no one gave a damn?

Change is a powerful thing people are powerful beings

Maybe by the time this song is done I'll be able to be honest, capable

Holding you in my arms without letting you fall / When I don't feel beautiful

Maybe it's enough to just be where we are because

Everytime that we run we don't know what it's from

There's something in the water I can taste it turning sour / It's bitter, I'm coughing but now it's in my blood

get free

Finally, I'm crossing the threshold / From the ordinary world to the reveal of my heart

Take the dead out of the sea and the darkness from the arts

I'm doing it for all of us

All my birds of paradise who never got to fly at night

It feels like I've got a war in my mind, I want to get off but I keep riding the ride

I never really notice that I had to decide to play someone's game or to live my own life and now I do

Out of the black, Into to the blue

Gone is the burden of the crawling way of being

We're not in your right mind

There's no more chasing rainbows / Their arches are illusions

You try to touch them, there's nothing to hold on to

HONEYMOON (2015)

honeymoon

Don't go 'cause truly there's nobody for you but me

We could cruise to the blues

The history of violence that surrounds you

There's nothing to lose now that I've found you

There are violets in your eyes / There are guns that blaze around you / There are roses in between my thighs

music to watch boys to

Singing soft grunge just to soak up the noise

I've been sent to destroy

I know what only the girls know

Lies can buy you eternity

terrence loves you

I don't matter to anyone

I lost myself when I lost you

I won't change you for anything

Isn't strange that you're not here with me

I know the light's on in the television

god knows i tried

Sometimes I wake up in the morning, To red, blue, and yellow skies / It's so crazy I could drink it like tequila sunrise

Dance around like I'm insane

I feel free when I see no one, and nobody knows my name

God knows I live / God knows I died / God knows I begged, borrowed and cried /God knows I loved / God know I lied /God knows I lost / God gave me life / And God knows I tried

Sometimes I wake up in the morning, to red, blue and yellow lights

On Monday they destroyed me, but by Friday I'm revived

I've got nothing much to live for

Light up my life

high by the beach

Look at you looking at me

I know you know how I feel

Loving you is hard, being here is harder

I don't wanna do this anymore, it's so surreal

I can't survive if this is all that's real

All I wanna do is get high by the beach

The truth is I never bought into your bullshit

You could be a bad motherfucker / But that don't make you a man

Now you're just another one of my problems / Because you got out of hand

We won't survive we're sinking into the sand

Don't need your money to get me what I want, i’ll do it on my own

Everyone can start again

Not through love but through revenge

Through the fire, we're born again

Peace by vengeance brings the end

freak

Flames so hot that they turn blue

Palms reflecting in your eyes, like an endless summer

That's the way I feel for you

If time stood still I'd take this moment, make it last forever

Screw your anonymity

Loving me is all you need to feel

Talk till we both turn blue

Life makes sense when I'm with you

Looking back, my past, it all seems stranger than a stranger

It's like I told you, If you stay, I'll stay

art deco

You're not mean, you just want to be seen

Want to be wild

A little party never hurt no one

You want in but you just can't win

Shining like gun metal, cold and unsure

When they all say hello you try to ignore them

You put your life out on the line

religion

Everything is fine now

Let's sleep in the dark's day

All our minds made up now, all our beds are made

No one's out of time, no chips fall wherever they may

Leave it all behind, let the ocean wash it away

It never was about the money or the drugs / It never was about the party or the clubs

'Cause you're my religion, you're how I'm living

When I'm down on my knees, you're how I pray

Hallelujah, I need your love

Everything is bright now no more cloudy days

Even when the storms come, in the eye we'll stay

No need to survive now, all we do is play

salvatore

Everything looks better from above my king

Like aqua marine, ocean's blue

All the lights are sparkling for you it seems

I adore you, can't you see, you're meant for me?

Summer's hot but I've been cold without you

the blackest day

I don't really wanna break up

It's not easy for me to talk about a half-life in lost dreams

And not simple, it's trigonometry

It's hard to express I can't explain

Ever since my baby went away it's been the blackest day

Because I'm going deeper and deeper, getting darker and darker

don't wanna talk about the things to come

Looking for love in all the wrong places

I got you where I want you

I'm falling for forever

I'm playing head games with you

There's only 24 hours in a day, and half as many ways for you to lie to me

Half of those, you lay awake with thoughts of murder and carnage

If you lie down with dogs, then you'll get fleas

Be careful of the company you keep

Lie like you lie

Love like you love

There's only 24 hours in a day and half of those you lay between the sheets with me

Give me your heat

Give me your diamonds

And my crooked lust

You count to three while they're all dying

You're hard to reach

You're cold to touch

swan song

Why work so hard when you could just be free?

You got your moment now, you got your legacy

Let's leave the world for the ones who change everything

Nothing could stop the two of us

Let's just get lost, that's what we want

With just one wave it goes away

Dive in, dive deep in dark blue suede

Rushing up from the water where the ice meets

And you've been gone so long, you missed everything

Say good night to the life in the world we live

don’t let me be misunderstood

Don't you know no one alive can always be an angel?

When everything goes wrong, you see some bad

But I'm just a soul whose intentions are good

Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood

Sometimes again it seems that all I have is worry

I want you to know I never meant to take it out on you

Life has its problems and I get more than my share

Baby, I'm just human

Don't you know I have faults like anyone?

ULTRAVIOLENCE (2014)

cruel world

Share my body and my mind with you

There's not anymore I can do

And I like my candy and your women

I'm finally happy now that you're gone

Because you're young, you're wild, you're free

You're dancing circles around me

You're fucking crazy

I love your women and all of your heroin

Everybody knows that I'm a mess

ultraviolence

I was filled with poison but blessed with beauty and rage

He hit me and it felt like a kiss

This is ultraviolence

I can hear sirens

He used to call me poison, like I was poison ivy

I could've died right then

He hurt me but it felt like true love

[Jim] taught me that loving him was never enough

Crying tears of gold, like lemonade

shades of cool

My baby lives in shades of blue

And when he calls he calls for me, not for you

I can't fix him, can't make him better

I can't do nothing about his strange weather

I can't break through your world

Your heart is unbreakable

He prays for love, he prays for peace

brooklyn baby

They say I'm too young to love you

I don't know what I need

They think I don't understand

I think I'm too cool to know ya

You say I'm like the ice I freeze

You say I'm too dumb to see

They judge me like a picture book, by the colors, like they forgot to read

I think we're like fire and water / I think we're like the wind and sea

If you don't like it you can beat it

You never liked the way I said it

If you don't get it, then forget it so I don't have to fucking explain it

I get high on hydroponic weed

Yeah my boyfriend's pretty cool but he's not as cool as me

west coast

That's why I'm leaving you for the music

I push it hard you pull away

I'm feeling hotter than fire

There's no one else that brings me higher than higher

You say you miss me and I wanna say I miss you so much but something keeps me really quiet

sad girl

It might not appeal to fools like you

He's got the fire and he walks with fame

Being a bad bitch on the side

We've been around when he gets high

pretty when you cry

All the pretty stars shine for you

Am I the girl that you dream of?

You make me feel like your whole world

I'll wait for you, babe, that's all I do

I'm pretty when I cry

All those special times I spent with you, my love, they don't mean shit compared to all your drugs

Like my memories, I don't need that

Don't say you need me when you're leaving

money power glory

How are we supposed to get there

That's not what this bitch wants

I want money, power and glory

I wanna take you for all that you got

The sun also rises on those who fail to call

My life, it comprises of losses and wins and fails and falls

fucked my way up to the top

Lay me down tonight in my linen and curls

I fucked my way up to the top

This is my show

I'm a dragon, you're a whore

Mimicking me is a fucking bore to me

Lay me down tonight in my diamonds and pearls

Tell me songs at night about your favorite girl

Need you baby, like I breathe you

old money

Where have you been? Where did you go?

Those summer nights seem long ago

But if you send for me, you know I'll come / And if you call for me, you know I'll run

Sunsets, small town, I'm out of time

Will you still love me when I shine from words but not from beauty

My father's love was always strong / My mother's glamour lives on and on

Yet still inside, I felt alone for reasons unknown to me

black beauty

I paint my nails black / I dye my hair a darker shade of brown

I paint the sky black

It suits the mood of your soul

Nothing, my sparrow blue

Life is beautiful but you don't have a clue It don't make sense to you

Paint the house black

My wedding dress black leather, too

You have no room for light

Love is lost on you

I keep my lips red, they seem like cherries in the spring

Darling, you can't let everything seem so dark blue

guns and roses

Heavy metal love of mine

I should have learned to let you stay

You didn't want me all the time but you were worth it anyway

You were so much better than the rest of them

Out of all the others you were the honest man

I should have learned to let you play

I wasn't the marrying kind I should have done it anyway

Back to the promised land

I can feel it coming in the air tonight

I can see you bathing in the summer light

You got game boy

florida kilos

They're special, just for you

Loving you is free

I like it down way low

Prison isn't nothing to me, if you'll be by my side

Sun in my mouth and gold hoops

We could get high in Miami

PARADISE (2012)

ride

I've been out on that open road

Singing blues has been getting old

You can be my full time, baby, Hot or cold

Don't break me down

I've been travelin' too long, I've been trying too hard

I hear the birds on the summer breeze, I drive fast / I am alone in the night

Been tryin' hard not to get into trouble, but I've got a war in my mind

So, I just ride

Dying young and I'm playing hard

Drink all day and we talk 'til dark / That's the way the road doves do it, ride 'til dark

I'm tired of feeling like I'm fucking crazy / I'm tired of driving 'till I see stars in my eyes

I look up to hear myself saying, baby

american

Play house, put my favorite record on

Flirting with the girls like you're so pretty

You make me crazy, you make me wild

Be young, be dope be proud

Drive fast, I can almost taste it now

I don't even have to fake it now

You're way ahead of the trend

Honey put on that party dress

I don't really want the rest, only you can take me there

I don't even know what I'm saying but I'm praying for you

cola

My pussy tastes like Pepsi Cola / My eyes are wide like cherry pies

I got sweet taste for men who're older /It's always been so it's no surprise

We can escape to the great sunshine

I know your wife and she wouldn't mind

I wear my diamonds on skid row

I pledge allegiance to my dad, for teaching me everything he knows

Don't treat me rough, treat me really nice

body electric

Jesus is my bestest friend

We don't need nobody, 'cause we got each other / Or at least I pretend

We get down every Friday night

Mary prays the rosary for my broken mind

I sing the body electric / I’m on fire

My clothes still smell like you and all the photographs say you're still young

I pretend I'm not hurt and go about the world like I'm havin' fun

blue velvet

She wore blue velvet / Bluer than velvet was the night

Softer than satin was the light From the stars

Warmer than may her tender sighs

Ours a love I held tightly

Feeling the rapture grow like a flame burning brightly

But when she left, gone was the glow

I still can see blue velvet through my tears

gods & monsters

In the land of gods and monsters

I was an angel living in the garden of evil

Screwed up, scared, doing anything that I needed

Shining like a fiery beacon

You got that medicine I need / Fame, liquor, love, give it to me slowly

Put your hands on my waist, do it softly

Me and God, we don't get along

No one's gonna take my soul away

Headed towards a fucked up holiday

Fuck yeah give it to me, this is heaven, what I truly want

It's innocence lost

I was an angel, lookin' to get fucked hard

Life imitates art

Dope, shoot it up straight to the heart please

I don't really wanna know what's good for me

God's dead, I said 'baby that's alright with me'

When you talk it's like a movie and you're making me crazy

If I get a little prettier, can I be your baby?

You tell me life isn't that hard

yayo

I like the snake on your tattoo

I like the Ivy and the Ink blue

You have to take me right now / From this dark trailer park

Put me onto your black motorcycle

Fifties baby doll dress for my 'I do"

It only takes two hours to Nevada

I wear your sparkle

You call me your mama, Let me put on a show for you daddy

Let me put on a show

Need you like a drug

Hello Heaven / You are a tunnel lined with yellow lights

bel air

Gargoyles standing at the front of your gate

Trying to tell me to wait, but I can't wait to see you

So I run, like I'm mad, to heaven's door / I don't wanna be bad

I won't cheat you no more

I've been waiting to meet you / Darling I'm waiting to greet you

The violentest kind of love anywhere out there

Mon amour, sweet child of mine, You're divine

Didn't anyone ever tell you / It's okay to shine?

Don't be ashamed / Walk in the way of my soft resurrection

I know your name

Lead me to war with your brilliant direction

Grenadine sunshine, and it fades sublime

BORN TO DIE (2012)

born to die

Feet don't fail me now, take me to your finish line

My heart it breaks every step that I take

I'm hoping that the gates, they'll tell me that you're mine

Walking through the city streets / Is it by mistake or design?

I feel so alone on a Friday night /Can you make it feel like home if I tell you you're mine?

Don't make me sad, don't make me cry

Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough, I don't know why

Keep making me laugh / Let's go get high

The road is long, we carry on / Try to have fun in the meantime

Come take a walk on the wild side

Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain

You like your girls insane

Choose your last words, this is the last time

Lost but now I am found / I can see but once I was blind

I was so confused as a little child

Tried to take what I could get / Scared that I couldn't find All the answers

off to the races

I can't deny the way he holds my hand and he grabs me / He has me by my heart

He loves me with every beat of his cocaine heart

Swimming pool Glimmering darling / White bikini off with my red nail polish

Watch me in the swimming pool bright blue ripples

Light of my life, fire in my loins / Be a good baby, do what I want

Gimme them gold coins, gimme them coins

Facing time again at Riker's Island and I won't get out / Because I'm crazy, baby

I need you to come here and save me

I'm your little scarlet, starlet, singing in the garden / Kiss me on my open mouth, ready for you

But he got a soul as sweet as blood red jam

And he shows me, he knows me, every inch of my tar black soul

He doesn't mind I have a flat broke down life / In fact he says he thinks it's what he might like about me

Slipping on my red dress, putting on my make up / Glass film, perfume, cognac, lilac fumes

Says it feels like heaven to him

I'm gonna stay and pray with him till the end

I trust in the decision of the law, to watch over us

I'm not afraid to say that I'd die without him / Who else is gonna put up with me this way?

I need you, I breathe you, I'll never leave you

They would rue the day, I was alone without you

You're lying with your gold chain on, cigar hanging from your lips

blue jeans

Walked into the room you know you made my eyes burn

But you fit me better than my favorite sweater

That love is mean, and love hurts

I still remember that day we met in December

I will love you 'til the end of time / I would wait a million years

Promise you'll remember that you're mine

Baby can you see through the tears?

When you walked out that door, a piece of me died

I just want it like before

video games

Pull up in your fast car whistling my name

It's you, it's you, it's all for you

I heard that you like the bad girls honey, is that true?

Swinging with the old stars, living for the fame

Kissing in the blue dark

He holds me in his big arms / Drunk and I am seeing stars

diet mountain dew

You're no good for me but baby, I want you

Do you think we'll be in love forever?

Baby, put on heart shaped sunglasses, 'Cause we gonna take a ride

I'm not gonna listen to what the past says

I've been waiting up all night

Take another drag, turn me to ashes

Maybe I like this roller coaster, maybe it keeps me high

Can we hit it now low down and gritty

national anthem

Money is the anthem of success/Money is the reason we exist

He says to "be cool" but, I don't know how yet

Tell me I'm your National Anthem

Summer's in the air and baby, heaven's in your eyes

I'm standing over your body, hold you like a python

You said to "be cool" but, I'm already coolest

Do you think you'll buy me lots of diamonds?

Overdose and dyin' on our drugs and our love and our dreams

God can only, I need somebody to hold me

Boy you have landed in the land of sweetness and danger

dark paradise

All my friends tell me I should move on

I'm lying in the ocean, singing your song

Loving you forever, can't be wrong

Even though you're not here, won't move on

there's no remedy for memory your face is like a melody, it won't leave my head

Your soul is hunting me and telling me that everything is fine / But I wish I was dead

Every time I close my eyes it's like a dark paradise

No one compares to you

I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side

When you find true love it lives on

There's no you, except in my dreams tonight

There's no relief, I see you in my sleep

Everybody's rushing me, but I can feel you touching me

radio

Not even they can stop me now

Their heavy words can't bring me down

Boy I've been raised from the dead

No one even knows how hard life was

I don't even think about it now because i've finally found you

Now my life is sweet like cinnamon / Like a fucking dream I'm living in

Baby love me cause I'm playing on the radio

Pick me up and take me like a vitamin

'Cause my body's sweet like sugar venom

I heard the streets were paved with gold

How do you like me now?

carmen

It's alarming, honestly how charming she can be

You don't want to be like me, don't wanna see all the things I've seen

The boys, the girls, they all like [Carmen]

She gives them butterflies, bats her cartoon eyes /She laughs like God, her mind's like a diamond

Only seventeen, but she walks the streets so mean

It's alarming, truly, how disarming you can be

Relying on the kindness of strangers

Tyin' cherry knots, smilin', doin' party favors

Put your red dress on, put your lipstick on

million dollar man

You said I was the most exotic flower

Holding me tight in our final hour

I don't know what you do, it's unbelievable

Someone as dangerous, tainted and flawed as you

I love you honey, I'm ready, I'm ready to go

How did you get that way, I don't know

You're screwed up and brilliant, and look like a million dollar man

So why is my heart broke?

You got the world but baby at what price

It isn't that hard [boy] to like you or love you

If you're going crazy just grab me and take me, i’d follow you down

summertime sadness

Dancin' in the dark in the pale moonlight

High heels off, I'm feelin' alive

Cruisin' down the coast, goin' about 99

Got my bad baby by my heavenly side

I know if I go, I'll die happy tonight

Oh my God, I feel it in the air

Telephone wires above are sizzlin' like a snare

Honey I'm on fire, I feel it everywhere

Nothin' scares me anymore

Think I'll miss you forever, like the stars miss the sun in the mornin' sky

Kiss me hard before you go

I'm feelin' electric tonight

I got that summertime sadness

this is what makes us girls

Remember how we used to party up all night?

Sneaking out and looking for a taste of real life

Drinking in the small town firelight

Teachers said we'd never make it out alive

She starts to cry, mascara running down her little Bambi eyes

We all look for heaven and we put love first

Don't cry about him

That's where the beginning of the end begun

Everybody knew that we had too much fun

We were skipping school and drinking on the job with the boss

Baby's table dancing at the local dive

Drinking cherry schnapps in the velvet night

Screaming, "Get us while we're hot, get us while we're hot"

A freshmen generation of degenerate beauty queens

Crying 'cause I know I'm never coming back

without you

Everything I want I have

I even think I found God in the flashbulbs of the pretty cameras

Hello, hello ca-can you hear me?

You're so good, your love is deadly

Tell me life is beautiful

They all think I have it all

I'm nothing, without you

All my dreams, and all the lights mean nothing without you

My life is sweet like vanilla is

Gold and silver line my heart

Can you picture it babe the life we could've lived?

Boy, you're so dope

We were two kids, just tryin' to get out

Live on the dark side of the American dream

We would dance all night, play our music loud

When we grew up, nothing was what it seemed

lolita

Would you be mine / Would you be my baby tonight

Could be kissing my fruit punch lips in the bright sunshine

'Cause I like you quite a lot, everything you got don't you know

It's you that I adore,[though] / I make the boys fall like dominoes

Kiss me in thedark tonight

I know what the boys want, I'm not gonna play

Never was in love, skipping heart beats with the boys downtown

Topple you down from your sky forty stories high

Shining like a god, can't believe I got you inside

I want to have fun and be in love with you

I know that I'm a mess with my long hair and my suntan, short dress, bare

I don't care what they say about me, what they say about me

You make me happy

lucky ones

Let's get out of this town, baby we're on fire

Everyone around here wants to be going down

If you stick with me, I can take you higher, and higher

It feels like all of our friends are lost / Nobody's found, found,

I got so scared, I thought no one could save me

Every now and then, the stars align / Boy and girl meet by the great design

Could it be that you and me are the lucky ones?

Everybody told me love was blind / Then I saw your face and you blew my mind

Boy get into my car, got a bad desire

You know that we'll never leave if we don't get out now

You're a careless con and you're a crazy liar

But baby, nobody can compare to the way you get down

Tried so hard to act nice like a lady / You taught me that it was good to be crazy

Feels like Falling in love for the first time

SINGLES

burning desire

Every Saturday night I get dressed up to ride for you, baby

I drive fast, wind in my hair, push it to the limits 'cause I just don't care

You ask me where I've been? I been everywhere

I don't wanna be no where but here

I've got a burning desire for you

Every Saturday night I seem to come alive for you

Your hands were on my hips, your name is on my lips

Over over again, like my only prayer

dont’ call me angel

Boy, don't call me angel, you ain't got me right

I appreciate the way you watch me, I can't lie

I fell from Heaven, now I'm living like a devil

You can't get me off your mind, I appreciate the way you want me

god save our young blood

Damn, look at the sunrise / Glowing finish line

Made it in record time, hey, baby, we made it

My head's faded, headlights dilated

Baptized in blue skies

Roll the window down, reach out, feel around for new life

Damn, you and those green eyes

We can never stop movin', we see nothin' but the green lights

God save our young blood

Climbed up the tree of life, kicked out of paradise

Living good, doing evil is the toss of the dice

She's an angel and a devil of her own device

Baby save me one last sip while you strip on the beach

I'll save you in the waves if you swim too deep

looking for america

Took a trip to San Francisco, didn't work, so I left for Fresno

Pulled over to watch the children in the park / We used to only worry about them after dark

No bombs in the sky, only fireworks when you and I collide

It's just a dream I had in mind

That's another place and time

So many things that I think twice about before I do now

once upon a time

I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream

I know you, that look in your eyes is so familiar a gleam

I know it's true that visions are seldom all they seem

But if I know you, I know what you'll do

You'll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream

season of the witch

When I look out my window, many sights to see

So many different people to be

When I look over my shoulder what do you think I see?

Oh no, must be the season of the witch

shades of cool

My baby lives in shades of blue / Blue eyes and jazz and attitude

When he calls, he calls for me, not for you

He lives for love / He loves his drugs, he loves his baby too

But I can't fix him, can't make him better

And I can't do nothing about his strange weather

You are unfixable, I can't break through your world

He prays for love, he prays for peace

Your heart is unbreakable

you must love me

This isn't where we intended to be

We had it all, you believed in me, I believed in you

Certainties disappear

What do we do for our dreams to survive? /How do we keep all our passions alive

Deep in my heart, I'm concealing things that I'm longing to say

Scared to confess, what I'm feeling frightened you'll slip away

How can I be, any use to you now?

Give me a chance, and I'll let you see how / Nothing has changed

young and beautiful

I've seen the world, done it all

Hot summer nights, mid July when you and I were forever wild

Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful? / Will you still love me when I've got nothing but my aching soul?

I've seen the world, lit it up as my stage now

Hot summer days, rock and roll the way you play for me at your show

And all the ways, I got to know your pretty face and electric soul

Dear lord, when I get to heaven, please let me bring my man

All that grace, all that body, all that face, makes me wanna party

He's my sun, he makes me shine like diamonds

#ask meme #ask memes #lyrics masterlist #verse masterlist #verse titles #masterlist #quotes

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just-another-obsessed-fangirl · 5 years ago

Text

Lover (2019) Sentence Prompts

feel free to change pronouns and other specific details

How many days did I spend thinking ‘bout how you did me wrong?

Lived in the shade you were throwing ‘til all of my sunshine was gone

I couldn’t get away from you

In my feelings more than Drake

Your name on my lips, tongue-tied

Free rent, living in my mind

But then something happened one magical night

I forgot that you existed

I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t

It isn’t love, it isn’t hate, it’s just indifference

Got out some popcorn as soon as my rep started going down

Laughed on the schoolyard as soon as I tripped up and hit the ground

I would’ve stuck around for you, would’ve fought the whole town

Would’ve been right there, front row, even if nobody came to your show

But you showed who you are

Sent me a clear message

Taught me some hard lessons, I just forget what they were

Fever dream high in the quiet of the night

Bad, bad boy, shiny toy with a price

You know that I bought it

I’m always waiting for you to be waiting below

Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes

What doesn’t kill me makes me want you more

It’s new, the shape of your body

It’s blue, the feeling I’ve got

It’s a cruel summer

It’s cool, that’s what I tell ‘em

No rules in breakable heaven

Hang your head low in the glow of the vending machine

We say that we’ll just screw it up in these trying times

We’re not trying

Cut the headlights

Summer’s a knife

I’m always waiting for you just to cut to the bone

If I bleed, you’ll be the last to know

I’m drunk in the back of the car

I cried like a baby coming home from the bar

Said, “I’m fine,” but it wasn’t true

I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you

I snuck in through the garden gate every night that summer

Just to seal my fate

I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?

He looks up grinning like a devil

We could leave the Christmas lights up ‘til January

This is our place, we make the rules

There’s a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear

Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?

Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close?

Take me out and take me home

You’re my lover

We could let our friends crash in the living room

I’m highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you

I’ve loved you three summers now, honey, but I want ‘em all

Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?

With every guitar string scar on my hand

I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover

My heart’s been borrowed and yours has been blue

All’s well that ends well to end up with you

Swear to be overdramatic and true

You’ll save all your dirtiest jokes for me

At every table, I’ll save you a seat

I would be complex

I would be cool

They’d say I played the field before I found someone to commit to

That would be okay for me to do

Every conquest I had made would make me more of a boss to you

I’d be a fearless leader, I’d be an alpha type

When everyone believes you, what’s that like?

I’m so sick of running as fast as I can

I’d get there quicker if I was a man

I’m so sick of them coming at me again

If I was a man

I’d be the man

I hustled, put in the work

Shake their heads and question how much of this I deserve

And they would toast to me

What’s it like to brag about raking in dollars and getting bitches and models?

It’s all good if you’re bad and it’s okay if you’re mad

I’d be a bitch, not a baller

They paint me out to be bad

It’s okay that I’m mad

I’m ready for combat

I don’t want that, but what if I do?

Cruelty wins in the movies

I’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you

I jump from the train, I ride off alone

I never grew up, it’s getting so old

Help me hold on to you

I’ve been the archer, I’ve been the prey

Who could ever leave me, darling, but who could stay?

I search for your dark side

What if I’m alright right here?

I cut off my nose just to spite my face

I hate my reflection for years and years

I pace like a ghost

The room is on fire, invisible smoke

All of my heroes die all alone

They see right through me

Can you see right through me?

I see right through me

All the king’s horses, all the king’s men, couldn’t put me together again

All of my enemies started out friends

His footprints on the sidewalk lead to where I can’t stop

His hands around a cold glass make me wanna know that body like it’s mine

He got that boyish look that I like in a man

I am an architect, I’m drawing up the plans

It’s like I’m seventeen, nobody understands

He got my heartbeat skipping down 16th Avenue

Wanna see what’s under that attitude

I want you, bless my soul

I ain’t gotta tell him, I think he knows

I’ll make myself at home and he’ll want me to stay

He’d better lock it down or I won’t stick around

Good ones never wait

He’s so obsessed with me and, boy, I understand

Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh

We could follow the sparks

I’ll drive

Where we gonna go?

You know I adore you

I’m crazier for you than I was at sixteen

I’m lost in the lights

Ripped up my prom dress

Running through rose thorns

I saw the scoreboard and ran for my life

No cameras catch my pageant smile

I counted days, I counted miles

It’s you and me, that’s my whole world

They whisper in the hallway, “She’s a bad, bad girl”

The whole school is rolling fake dice

You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes

We’re so sad, we paint the town blue

Voted most likely to run away with you

My team is losing, battered and bruising

I see the high fives between the bad guys

You are the only one who seems to care

The damsels are depressed

Boys will be boys, then where are the wise me?

Darling, I’m scared

No cameras catch my muffled cries

I don’t really wanna fight, ‘cause nobody’s gonna win

I think you should come home

I’ll never let you go, ‘cause I know this is a fight that someday we’re gonna win

She’s a bad, bad girl

High, like your friends were the night that we first met

Went home and tried to stalk you on the internet

I’ve read all of the books beside your bed

Cold, like the shoulder that I gave you in the street

Cat and mouse for a month or two or three

Now I wake up in the night and watch you breathe

Kiss me once ‘cause you know I had a long night

Kiss me twice ‘cause it’s gonna be alright

Three times ‘cause I waited my whole life

I like shiny things, but I’d marry you with paper rings

I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this

You’re the one I want in paper rings, in picture frames, in dirty dreams

In the icy outdoor pool, when you jumped in first, I went in too

I’m with you even if it makes blue

Takes me back to the color that we painted your brother’s wall

Without all the exes, fights, and flaws

We wouldn’t be standing here so tall

I want to drive away with you

I want your complications too

I want your dreary Mondays

Wrap your arms around me, baby boy

Drunk on something stronger than the drinks in the bar

I rent a place on Cornelia Street

We were a fresh page on the desk, filling in the blanks as we go

As if the street lights pointed in an arrow head leading us home

I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends

I’d never walk Cornelia Street again

That’s the kinda heartbreak time could never mend

I get mystified by how this city screams your name

I’m so terrified of it you ever walk away

Jacket ‘round my shoulders is yours

Memorize the creaks in the floor

Back when we were card sharks

I thought you were leading me on

I packed my bags, left Cornelia Street, before you even knew I was gone

You called, showed your hand

I turned around before I hit the tunnel

Sat on the roof, you and I

You hold my hand on the street

Walk me back to that apartment years ago

We were just inside barefoot in the kitchen

Sacred new beginnings that became my religion

Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts

Flashbacks waking me up

I get drunk but it’s not enough

The morning comes and you’re not my baby

I look through the windows of this love even though we boarded them up

Chandelier’s still flickering here

I can’t pretend it’s okay when it’s not

I dress to kill my time

I take the long way home

I ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright, they say, “I don’t know”

What once was ours is no one’s now

The only thing we share is this small town

It was a great love, one for the ages

If the story’s over, why am I still writing pages?

My heart, my hips, my body, my love

Tryna find a part of me that you didn’t touch

Gave up on me like I was a bad drug

Now I’m searching for signs in a haunted club

Our songs, our films, united we stand

Our country, guess it was a lawless land

Quiet my fears with a touch of your hand

Paper cut stings from out paper-thin plans

My time, my wine, my spirit, my trust

Tryna find a part of me you didn’t take up

Gave you so much, but it wasn’t enough

But I’ll be alright, it’s just a thousand cuts

I love my hometown as much as Motown

Something happened, I heard him laughing

I saw the dimples first and then I heard the accent

They say home is where the heart is, but that’s not where mine lives

You know I love a London boy

He likes my American smile

Like a child when our eyes meet

Darling, I fancy you

I guess all the rumors are true

Boy, I fancy you

Now I love high tea

You can find me in the pub

We are watching rugby with his school friends

Show me a gray sky, a rainy cab ride

Babes, don’t threaten me with a good time

God, I love the English

Doesn’t have to be Louis V up on Bond Street

Stick with me, I’m your queen

The buttons of my coat were tangled in my hair

I didn’t tell you I was scared

That was the first time we were there

Holy orange bottles, each night I pray to you

Desperate people find faith

Now I pray to Jesus too

Soon you’ll get better

You’ll get better soon ‘cause you have to

I know delusion when I see it in the mirror

You like the nicer nurses

You make the best of a bad deal

I just pretend it isn’t real

I’ll paint the kitchen neon

I’ll brighten up the sky

I know I’ll never get it, there’s not a day that I won’t try

I hate to make this all about me, but who am I supposed to talk to?

What am I supposed to do if there’s no you?

This won’t go back to normal, if it ever was

It’s been years of hoping

I keep saying it because I have to

You’ll get better

We were crazy to think that this could work

Remember how I said I’d die for you?

We were stupid to jump in the ocean separating us

Remember how I’d fly to you?

I can’t talk to you when you’re like this

Staring out the window like I’m not your favorite town

I’m New York City

I still do it for you, babe

They all warned us about times like this

The road gets hard and you get lost when you’re led by blind faith

We might just get away with it

Religion’s in your lips

Even if it’s a false god, we’d still worship

The altar is my hips

We’d still worship this love

I know heaven’s a thing, I go there when you touch me, honey

Hell is when I fight with you

We can patch it up good

Make confessions and we’re begging for forgiveness

Got the wine for you

You can’t talk to me when I’m like this

Daring you to leave me just so I can try and scare you

You’re the West Village

You still do it for me, babe

You are somebody that I don’t know

Taking shots at me like it’s Patrón

Damn, it’s 7 AM

Say it in the street, that’s a knock-out

Say it in a Tweet, that’s a cop-out

I ain’t tryna mess with your self-expression

I’ve learned a lesson that stressing and obsessing ‘bout somebody else is no fun

Snakes and stones never broke my bones

You need to calm down

You’re being too loud

Can you just not step on my gown?

You’re coming at my friends like a missile

Why are you mad when you could be glad?

Sunshine on the street at the parade

You would rather be in the dark ages

Making that sign must’ve taken all night

You just need to take several seats

Try to restore the peace

Control your urges to scream about all the people you hate

Shade never made anybody less gay

We see you over there on the internet

Comparing all the girls who are killing it

We figured you out

We all know now we all got crowns

I blew things out of proportion, now you’re blue

Put you in jail for something you didn’t do

I pinned your hands behind your back

Thought I had reason to attack, but no

Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves

Chemistry ‘til it blows up, ‘til there’s no us

Why’d I have to break what I love so much?

It’s on your face and I’m to blame

It’s all me in my head

I’m the one who burned us down

It’s not what I meant

Sorry that I hurt you

I don’t wanna do this to you

I don’t wanna lose this with you

It’s all me, just don’t go

Meet me in the afterglow

It’s so excruciating to see you low

Just wanna lift you up and not let you go

This ultraviolet morning light below tells me this love is worth the fight

I lived like an island, punished you with silence

Went off like sirens

Tell me that you’re still mine

Tell me that we’ll be just fine even when I lose my mind

Tell me that it’s not my fault

Tell me that I’m all you want even when I break my heart

I promise that you’ll never find another like me

I know that I’m a handful

I know I never think before I jump

You’re the kind of guy the ladies want

There’s a lot of cool chicks out there

I know that I went psycho on the phone

I never leave well enough alone

Trouble’s gonna follow where I go

One of these things is not like the others

When it comes to a lover

I’m the only one of me

Baby, that’s the fun of me

You’re the only one of you

Baby, that’s the fun of you

I promise that nobody’s gonna love you like me

I know I tend to make it about me

I know you never get just what you see

I will never bore you, baby

There’s a lot of lame guys out there

We had that fight out in the rain

You ran after me and called my name

I never wanna see you walk away

Living in winter, I am your summer

Hey kids, spelling is fun!

There ain’t no I in “team”, but you know there is a “me”

You can’t spell “awesome” without “me”

School bell rings, walk me home

Sidewalk chalk covered in snow

Lost my gloves, you give me one

“Wanna hang out?” Yeah, sounds like fun

Video games, you pass me a note, sleeping in tents

It’s nice to have a friend

Light pink sky, up on the roof

Sun sinks down, no curfew

20 questions, we tell the truth

You’ve been stressed out lately, yeah, me too

Something gave you the nerve to touch my hand

Church bells ring, carry me home

Rice on the ground looks like snow

Call my bluff, call you “Babe”

Have my back every day

Stay in bed the whole weekend

My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in

Everyone looked worse in the light

There are so many lines that I’ve crossed unforgiven

I’ll tell you the truth, but never goodbye

I don’t wanna look at anything else now that I saw you

I don’t wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

I’ve been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night

Now I see daylight

Luck of the draw only draws the unlucky

I became the butt of the joke

I wounded the good and I trusted the wicked

Clearing the air, I breathed in the smoke

Maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down

Maybe I’ve stormed out of every single room in this town

Threw out our cloaks and our daggers

Because it’s morning now

It’s brighter now

I can still see it all in my mind

All of you, all of me, intertwined

I once believed love would be black and white (but it’s golden)

I can still see it all in my head

Back and forth from New York, sneaking in your bed

I once believed love would be burning red

It’s golden like daylight

You gotta step into the daylight and let it go

I wanna be defined by the things that I love

Not the things I hate

Not the things I’m afraid of

The things that haunt me in the middle of the might

You are what you love

#rp meme #rp sentence starters #sentence structure #rp prompts #lover #taylor swift #ts #my posts

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purplesurveys · 5 years ago

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757

What was the best job you've ever had? I’ll let you know in 20, 30 years. Would you rather open a used clothing store or an antique store? Hah, you really asked this to the history nerd. Antique store, for sure. It’d be awesome to meet collectors or just anyone into antiques, really, and get to hear about their interest for whatever item they’re looking for. Do you think you would want to own a gift shop? No, just because I wouldn’t want to own a business to begin with. I’d have no interest in running it. Have you ever wondered if your friend was an alien? That thought literally never crosses my mind for any of my friends. Do you have a troublesome medical condition? I have scoliosis but it’s not very troublesome. It’s not super bad so I just have to always watch out for my posture and make sure I’m sitting up straight.

What's your most annoying neighbor's name? I have neighbors with a very loud, constantly crying baby; some days I find it annoying (especially when I have to work), but honestly I’m a little bit genuinely worried and disturbed because the baby’s cries are so raw and so bad in the morning and evening that I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt and thinking that maybe the baby has some sort of condition that puts them in pain most of the time, so that lessens the annoyance down to zero. Other than them, I can’t think of any other neighbor. Would you have started a business in high school if your parents had let you? I wouldn’t know what to sell or pitch in the first place, so no. What sport would you have joined if your parents had let you? I had no interest in sports. I did want to pursue table tennis, but my old school didn’t have a varsity for it. Do you have any tough life decisions to make soon? Yeah, for sure. Life is gonna get real crazy real soon. At what time of the day do you usually have the most energy? In the last few weeks it used to be midnight and beyond that, but I’ve been cutting back on sleeping very late. My body clock is still adjusting to the change, so these days I can’t really tell when my energy is highest yet. Do you consider yourself gifted and talented? I have several soft skills I can be proud of, but nothing super showy like knowing how to play guitar or being able to draw. Do you love your enemies? I don’t have any. Magenta, aqua, or coral? Coral feels like the most soothing color to me. Do you like the color orchid? That’s a color? I always thought it was just a flower lol. Checked it out and I’m not a big fan; it’s too bright for me. Would you rather be a wedding photographer or a nature photographer? Probably nature. Trees and flowers and animals can have several takes, but you can’t fuck up wedding photos so that’s a bye for me. Have you ever had an ulcer? I haven’t. Do you have a canker sore right now? NO it’s finally gone, thank goodness. I had the worst one last week and it lasted for like four days; it was super super awful and I ate so little then. Are you interested in health and wellness? Not really. There are times I’d consider joining a gym and planning out a diet just to be extra healthy, but those plans have obviously never become a reality. Would you ever be a fitness coach? No, I’m very unqualified. Do you ever question whether something that makes you uncomfortable is a good thing or not? Only sometimes, and only for very particular scenarios. Like sometimes I’ll examine why I’m often uncomfortable around Gabie’s friends and question if it’s a problem with me, or if we really just have very different personalities for my liking. Usually though, I don’t question and just go ahead and think that things that make me uncomfortable aren’t good for me. Do you think for yourself? I try to, but sometimes I’ll add other people to the equation. Do you live life on your own terms, or do you do what everyone tells you to do? A little bit of both. I’m still scared of being completely independent and do appreciate a second opinion. When was the last time you spent time with God in nature? What color is your bike? The family bike is blue and grey. I don’t have my own. Are you due for a hike? Eh, I wouldn’t say I’m due. I’m not desperate for one, but it would be nice to do one of them again sometime in the future. Do you ever wonder why some people think they're better than others? I only wonder this for people who think they’re better but actually aren’t. Do you have too many hangers? No, we have enough. Have you ever created a themed scrapbook? No. All the album scrapbooks we have in the house were made by my mom; she made one for each of us kids. Pilates or yoga? I don’t know, I’ve never given either a try. How often do you eat dessert? I don’t get to these days since I haven’t been out in a while. But back when Gab and I would eat out, I usually wanna grab something sweet after pretty often. Do you own a pair of cute workout pants? No. What's the trendiest item you own? Probably my clothes. I always make sure I’m up-to-date with them. Do you get irritated by people who lack common sense? Not really? Sometimes I’m one of them so I’ll give other people a chance if they’re a bit slow lol. What's the best drink you've ever had at Starbucks? I don’t experiment with my drinks. I just get my usual caramel macchiato and for me it’s already the best. Did you pull an all-nighter last night? Nah, far from it. I slept for 10 hours. When was the last time you wrote an essay? March 20-something. Do you enjoy writing essays? If I enjoy the topic, then yes. It can be a bitch writing about something I could not care less for. Do you enjoy learning? Sure! But again it depends on what’s being taught. I wouldn’t sign up for a calculus class, for one. What is the most dominant color in your closet? Black or white, for sure. Do you own anything periwinkle? Yessss. Gab gave me artificial flowers a few years ago and they were periwinkle. I still have them on my drawer. Do you know anyone who is colorblind? Nope, I don’t think so. What is your favorite fairytale? Not into those. Do you ever wonder why Americans celebrate St. Patrick's Day? No, it doesn’t cross my mind since I’m unfamiliar with it to begin with. Do you have any Irish in you? Not at all. What is your favorite name that starts with a Z? I don’t know many names but I do like Zia. Have you ever felt like you were going to throw up while you were at school? Sure. What color are your running shoes? I have several but they’re all white. Do you wear hoodies? Sometimes. I only wear them on my lazy days in school though. How many pull-over hoodies do you own? Two. Do you own a princess crown? I owned a tiara as a kid from my 7th birthday party, but not these days. I don’t think my mom kept it around when we moved. Do you love anyone? I love a lot of people. What's your birthstone? Diamond.

#survey #surveys

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lazingonsunday · 5 years ago

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Tag Game!!

I was tagged by @gretavanfic and @bigthighsandstupidguys , thank you, lovelies!! 💛

1. What is your middle name?

Starts with G lol

2. How old are you?

3. When is your birthday?

Dec 2

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Everyone is putting like moon and sun and rising and I have no idea what that mean lmao, sorry! I think I’m a Sagittarius though

5. What is your favourite colour?

Orange or Yellow 🧡💛

6. What’s your lucky number?

Don’t really have one, but I always tried to be #10 on my volleyball jersey

7. Do you have any pets?

An old border collie named Riley

8. Where are you from?

Canada! 🇨🇦

9. How tall are you?

Like 5’7 ish

10. What shoe size are you?

Usually 9.5 or 10. I got big ass feet :(

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Way more than one human being needs

12. What was your last dream about?

I went to IT chapter 2 last night so safe to say I was having some freaky clown dreams all night lol

13. What talents do you have?

Um, I can say the alphabet backwards, which is super random lol. I can also kinda play guitar, bass, ukulele, and harmonica, but I’m not very good at any of them yet lol

14. Are you psychic in any way?

I used to think so when I was little, but not so much anymore

15. Favourite song?

Ooh, this is hard. Right now I really love When The Curtain Falls by GVF, but I would say an all time fave might be Forever in Blue Jeans by Neil Diamond because it reminds me of my mom

16. Favourite movie?

Oh, also a tough one! I think either Rocky IV or The Sandlot

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

Jake Kiszka, obviously. But in all seriousness, anyone who is genuinely kind that I feel comfortable and happy around.

18. Do you want children?

I never thought so, but now a bunch of my older cousins are having kids and they’re pretty cool, so maybe one day if I found the right person to raise them with

19. Do you want a church wedding?

No, even though my mom will kill me if I don’t lol

20. Are you religious?

I was raised Catholic, but I don’t consider myself religious anymore.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Yes, I’m asthmatic af lol, and prone to breaking my fingers playing rugby

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

No, I am a well-behaved child

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

I met the magicians Penn & Teller if that counts haha

24. Baths or showers?

For practical purposes of actually getting clean, showers, but I l o v e baths

25. What colour socks are you wearing?

Black

26. Have you ever been famous?

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

While I daydream about it frequently, realistically I know I would hate it

28. What type of music do you like?

Literally the most random taste in music, it changes all the time. I don’t even have certain genres that I like, just certain artists or albums from a variety of genres

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Yes. I was very drunk lmao

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

Three normal ones and a body pillow

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

On my side cuddled up with the pillows

32. How big is your house?

Typical white suburban neighbourhood house

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

I typically pout in the kitchen for 10 minutes before I give up and make something completely inappropriate for breakfast lmao. Usually grilled cheese. This morning alphagetti. I hate breakfast so much lol

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

Nope. No desire to.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

Yes, we did it in school a few times

36. Favourite clean word?

Love

37. Favourite swear word?

Idk if it’s a swear word, but I say ‘goddammit’ a lot

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

Not long, I’m a sleepy bitch. Probably 24 hours

39. Do you have any scars?

Yes

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

In 9th grade I found out this guy had a crush on my and told literally everyone but me lol

41. Are you a good liar?

I don’t lie very often, but mostly because I am a terrible liar

42. Are you a good judge of character?

Yes. I frequently get such strong vibes off of people and I can tell right away if they’re the kind of person that’s gonna stress me out

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

Not well

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I guess I probably have a Canadian accent, but not super strong. The region I’m from has a pretty neutral North American accent

45. What is your favourite accent?

Certain regions of Irish accent are so beautiful. Like Hozier’s accent

46. What is your personality type?

Quite shy, but generally very kind

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

I have a shirt that I got for work that was like a hundred bucks and I never wear it cause I sprayed foundation on it once and now I’m scared I’m gonna ruin it lol

48. Can you curl your tongue?

Yes

49. Are you an innie or outie?

Innie

50. Left or right handed?

Right

51. Are you scared or spiders?

Not really scared of them, but I don’t like them to be close to me if that makes sense

52. Favourite food?

Probably burritos

53. Favourite foreign food?

Mexican

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

Fairly clean

55. Most used phrase?

I really don’t think I have one?

56. Most used word?

Completely. I say it like to agree with someone or acknowledge what they’re saying

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

Depends what I’m getting ready. For school or something I don’t really care about, maybe half an hour. For work or going out, probably over an hour.

58. Do you have much of an ego?

I don’t think so

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

Suck until I get bored and crunch it lol

60. Do you talk to yourself?

Yes, a concerning amount. Like full conversations with myself at full volume, constantly when I’m alone.

61. Do you sing to yourself?

Occasionally

62. Are you a good singer?

Not really

63. Biggest fear?

Never learning how to make meaningful connections , pushing all my friends away, and dying alone.

64. Are you a gossip?

No, I hate it! My friends try to tell me about people we went to high school with, and I just genuinely don’t care and don’t want to know lmao

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

Idk what classifies as a ‘dramatic’ movie, but I guess the Rocky movies again

66. Do you like long or short hair?

I love long hair, I’m so jealous of people with really long hair. Mine grows so slow :(

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Maybe, if I thought really hard about it? I can barely remember Canadian provinces lmao

68. Favourite school subject?

I always really loved some topics in science, but then hated others. I was probably best at English.

69. Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert af

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

No, even snorkeling freaks me out. The ocean is some scary soup

71. What makes you nervous?

Pretty much everything lol. But mostly any social situation where there’s people I don’t know, or I don’t know exactly what to expect.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

Really depends where I am. Usually no, but if I’m outside then usually yes, and after watching It last night, yes lol

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Depends who it is and what the mistake is

74. Are you ticklish?

Honestly, not really

75. Have you ever started a rumour?

Not intentionally

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Kind of? At work they have like hourly leaders who are in charge of the sales floor, and I did that a lot, but it’s not really a lot of power or responsibility. Also babysitting I guess

77. Have you ever drank underage?

Yes

78. Have you ever done drugs?

Honestly, this is gonna sound so stupid, but I’ve never done anything other than alcohol and cigarettes. I actually high key wanna try weed, but again the whole ‘not knowing what to expect makes me anxious thing.’ Not even so much that I’m nervous to try the drug but that I’m nervous to try to buy it or get it, even though it’s fully legal in Canada and there’s a dispensary on every corner lmao

79. Who was your first real crush?

The first one I remember was a boy named Evan in first grade

80. How many piercings do you have?

Just my ears, and I rarely wear earrings so I always have to stab through them again when I do

81. Can you roll your R’s?

No, and I can’t whistle either! Which is deeply infuriating!

82. How fast can you type?

Fast enough to not look foolish

83. How fast can you run?

Not fast at all. I’m asthmatic and out of shape lmao

84. What colour is your hair?

An ugly medium mousy brown. I always wanna dye it a little lighter, but I go to the hairdresser like once every two years so it would look stupid when it grew out lol

85. What colour are your eyes?

Hazel-y greenish

86. What are you allergic to?

All sorts of environmental allergies; dust, pollen, animal hair, etc. I’m always sneezing and watery eyes lol

87. Do you keep a journal?

I carry a notebook, but it’s more like an agenda than a diary

88. What do your parents do?

My dad owns a drywall company and my mom is a stay-at-home mom, but she volunteers a lot now that we’re older

89. Do you like your age?

No. I think that being in your late teens and twenties can be really stressful because you feel like there’s certain things that you should have accomplished or experienced and it can be very overwhelming, feeling like you’re competing with all your peers to get your life together

90. What makes you angry?

Rude and disrespectful people

91. Do you like your own name?

Not really

92. Have you thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

I’ve definitely thought about it but I don’t really have specific favourites

93. Do you want a boy or girl for a child?

I don’t have a preference. I’d probably like to have one of each

94. What are your strengths?

I think I’ve become a lot more kind and open-hearted in the last few years.

95. What are your weaknesses?

I feel like I have let fear dictate my entire life, and there’s so many things I haven’t done because I’ve been afraid. I need to step outside my comfort zone more often.

96. How did you get your name?

There was a character on a TV show called my name that my parents liked

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

Not that I am aware of

98. Do you have any tattoos?

I changed the question because scars was an earlier one. I have two tattoos on my right arm

99. Colour of your bedspread?

Because it’s summer, I have a lighter blanket that’s light blue. My winter duvet is navy

100. Colour of your room?

Light blue

That was LONG lmao but really fun! I’m too lazy to bold the questions so sorry if it’s hard to read!

Tagging: @frcmthefires @sweetkiszkadreams @okietrish @sammyscherub @gretavanbobatea @jake-thomas-kiszka @mr-stank-i-dont-feel-so-dank and anyone else who wants to do it!!

#tagged #tag game

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lewyn-martell · 6 years ago

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rules: answer 21 questions and tag 21 people you want to know better

tagged by @laurels-things thanks! you seem like such a nice person!

i. nickname?

lui or simply lu

ii. zodiac sign?

scorpio

iii. height?

165 cm... I'm not sure if I'm below average height on my country, but I believe brazillian people are pretty short. I may be the shortest amongst the boys in my class but I'm the tallest amongst the girls (except one girl who is nearly 180cm i stg) and as a nonbinary person this is a good place to be, i think.

iv. hogwarts house?

hufflepuff :D

v. last thing I googled?

amongst or among — i was unsure if i was using the word correctly sjbshsbshsvs

vi. fav musicians?

THE BEATLES (all 4 of them, but john lennon speaks to my soul in ways i can't describe... the way he makes me feel is something out of this world)

david bowie

elton john

brendon urie from panic! at the disco

the boys from green day

aaand i have mad respect for some soundtrack musicians bc i eat these up constantly. i like ramin djwadi, michael giacchino, ennio morricone, danny elfman, jonny greenwood (yeah i know he's from radiohead but i haven't listened a lot of stuff from this band yet and his phantom thread compositions are SUCH A BOP), hans zimmer and i've been also listening to the score of the shape of water by alexandre desplat (i like him, but jonny greenwood was ROBBED) so maybe that'll be a future fave. also i love a lot of composers for disney animated musicals but if i start i won't ever shut up. but i love almost all of the disney soundtracks.

i would say some time ago whoever wrote the songs for the smiths which i believe includes morrisey, but i recently found out he is extremely right wing and i don't think i can still like someone with these kinds of inhumane views on people&society... i'm disappointed

vii. song stuck in your head?

currently bad boy (the beatles' cover of the song), john's vocals make my pulse speed up since the first verse

viii. following?

2234 nfbdjdbjdsbjshs but i think most of the people i followed years ago are no longer active, i must go through the list and try to do a spring cleaning or something

ix. followers?

408... and like half of these i gained only the last two months or something... and i don't know why shdbsjbshsbs maybe it's the beatles thing

x. do you get asks?

i don't, but that's ok because i don't know if i have a lot of interesting things to say... but if you wanna get something off your chest, go ahead, i love to listen to/read drama 👀

xi. amount of sleep?

tricky question because it constantly changes, sometimes i don't sleep at all bc i have to leave the house at 5h20 in the morning to go to uni and i stay awake until late and when i realize i have to go shower already dhsbshbshsvshs and then when i come back i sleep for like... 10 hours or smth or i don't bc i got stuff to do and i accumulate sleep and then there will be a day of the week i'll just shut down for 15 hours. mostly i try to go to bed around 23h and wake up around 4h45, so that makes it almost 6 hours .

xii. lucky number?

never noticed any particular number that favors me

xiii. what are you wearing?

t-shirt, shorts, it's hot as hell here

xiv. dream job?

don't have one, just want one that won't consume me so i have time to do stuff i'm actually interested in

xv. dream trip?

also don't have one

xvi. instruments?

flute, some percussion, some guitar, i wish i had actually studied music besides the basic stuff... i still wanna learn to properly play something and not just beat some bongos during carnival

xvii. languages?

portuguese, english, bit of spanish only cause of the similarities with portuguese and 4 years of classes in middle school...but still, can't speak or write, only read and listen

xviii. favorite songs?

oh my god... ok...

i was making this in list format but it got way too big... it's still big i'm sorry

the beatles: i want you (she's so heavy), strawberry fields forever, across the universe, oh! darling, and your bird can sing, tomorrow never knows, mother nature's son, yer blues, golden slumbers, i am the walrus, i me mine, long tall sally (little richard cover), you can't do that, what you're doing, ticket to ride, rain, eleanor rigby, happiness is a warm gun, i'm so tired, blue jay way, for you blue, in my life, anna go to him (cover).

david bowie: time, cygnet committee, unwashed and somewhat slightly dazed, tvc15, life on mars, young americans, queen bitch

panic! at the disco: that green gentleman, she had the world, build god then we'll talk, nearly witches, emperor's new clothes, bittersweet, nine in the afternoon, northern downpour, behind the sea, stall me, the piano knows something i don't know

green day: jesus of suburbia, brutal love, hitchin a ride, blood sex and booze, give me novacaine, whatsername, last night on earth

the smiths: this charming man, panic, how soon is now

elton john: goodbye yellow brick road, bennie and the jets, rocket man

queen: somebody to love, killer queen

strawberry swing - coldplay

welcome home - radical face

joão e maria - chico buarque

barbara rose - jonny greenwood

bachianas brasileiras no 5 - heitor villa-lobos

le festin - michael giacchino, camille

rains of castamere - ramin djwadi

unchained melody - a lot of versions from a lot of artists

another day - paul mccartney

meu erro - paralamas do sucesso

flor de lis - djavan

love the way you lie - rihanna&eminem

man! i feel like a woman - shania twain

xix. random fact?

well, it's not really a fact i think... i'm moving (again) but this time is to my father's house because my mum is moving to the south of the country... and i'm so fucking scared because we aren't close at all (i met him when i was 14) i mean, he seems nice enough, all of our interactions have been mostly pleasant but his wife (and probably he himself too) is a bit conservative in the brazillian traditional white family way (she's white cause she's a southern. i know yall think all latinos are poc,,,, but that's not true) but then again, that's something i had to live with all my life so i can handle casual homophobia and racism and sexism... but it will still be so weird cause i never been away from my mum too long (i'm... a momma's boy). i'm going next week i think, wish me luck.... (also he's got two dogs who won't leave me the fuck alone, i get out of the shower and they drool all over me, they know i'm a beta so they keep getting on top of me and since they're HUGE and i'm such a weakling i can't even get them off me and i can't scold them with a strong voice, i just can't do it... i mean, don't get me wrong i like them... but... they like me way too much and keep making me dirty.. i hate being dirty)

xx. aesthetic?

farm aesthetic..... idealistic farm aesthetic habshabaha like marie antoinette's pettit chateau. also the whole pretty odd aesthetic and strawberry swing by coldplay aesthetic

i'm tagging (probably less than 21 ppl) @zutaralesbian @ekscelsior @benstolemyhearty @lannistermartell @tyrionlannysters @avatars-legend @cerseiofhouselannister @falconsredwing @gendryayaya @glittering-snowfall @agirlandabeast @bugband @alittlebigpotato @vairemelde @charmeilon @jawn-lemon @antilennon @im-only-sweeping @ssimsass

i hope tumblr actually notifies you guys, i had problems with the last one...

#nfr #abt me #long post

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ddudumemes · 6 years ago

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LM5 SENTENCE STARTERS

(( collection of ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY EIGHT sentence starters taken from LITTLE MIX’s fifth studio album ‘ LM5 ’ . ))

001. THE NATIONAL MANTHEM . ‘ made up of magic . ’ ‘ pray to the goddess . ’ ‘ don’t break your promise . ’ ‘ thou shall be faithful and honest . ’

002. WOMAN LIKE ME ( FT . NICKI MINAJ . ) ‘ i always say what i’m feeling . ’ ‘ i was born without a zip on my mouth . ’ ‘ i like my coffee with two sugars in it . ’ ‘ insecure , but i’m working with it . ’ ‘ i made a few mistakes , i regret it nightly . ’ ‘ i broke a couple hearts that i wear on my sleeve . ’ ‘ my mama always said “ girl , you’re trouble . ” ’ ‘ every time we touch , you make me feel weak . ’ ‘ i can tell you’re shy , and i think it’s so sweet . ’ ‘ we can get a takeaway and sit on the couch . ’ ‘ love it when you turn me on . ’ ‘ greatest of all time , ‘cause i’m a chameleon . ’

003. THINK ABOUT US . ‘ do you think about us ?? ’ ‘ i think about you . ’ ‘ one touch is all i want . ’ ‘ i look in your eyes and the whole world stops . ’ ‘ i promise , i won’t let go . ’ ‘ it’s fire when we touch . ’ ‘ can you feel my body now ?? ’ ‘ you don’t even know all the things i wanna do . ’ ‘ need your love . ’ ‘ ain’t nobody else you know , it’s all about us . ’

004. STRIP ( FT . SHARAYA J . ) ‘ take off all my makeup , ‘cause i love what’s under it . ’ ‘ don’t give a fuck , i’m over it . ’ ‘ sexiest when i’m confident . ’ ‘ i don’t owe you nothin’ . ’ ‘ it’s your life , go get it if you want it . ’ ‘ lovin’ my figure like , “ aw , yeah . ” ’ ‘ i ain’t scared anymore . ’ ‘ i know i’m a hot bitch . ’ ‘ gotta do what you want , if they love it or they don’t . ’ ‘ love who you wanna . don’t give a damn if it’s a man or woman . ’ ‘ you gotta love who you are . ’ ‘ don’t let social media tear you apart . ’ ‘ that money won’t buy you what confidence will . ’

005. MONSTER IN ME . ‘ every time that we touch it’s dangerous , this spark is more than chemistry . ’ ‘ every night we fight and it’s hot like hell , but it feels like heaven between the sheets . ’ ‘ every time we let go i scream and i call for more . ’ ‘ touch me . ’ ‘ why don’t we kill each other slowly ?? ’ ‘ the monster in me loves the monster in you . ’ ‘ hold me . ’ ‘ squeeze a little tighter , ‘til we can’t breathe . ’ ‘ beautiful killer , cut me deep . ’ ‘ every night we fight and it’s hot like hell , but i love the way that you make me scream . ’ ‘ every time i let go , i cry and i beg for more . ’ ‘ it’s so beautiful , the hell that we both made for each other . ’ ‘ i know it’s so wrong , but baby just touch me . ’

006. JOAN OF ARC . ‘ i make myself feel sexy . ’ ‘ fan of myself , i’m stanning myself . ’ ‘ i love me so much , i put my hands on myself . ’ ‘ tonight it’s only me that matters . ’ ‘ i don’t need a man . ’ ‘ if i’m loving you it’s ‘cause i can . ’ ‘ i don’t want your cash . ’ ‘ i spare no enemies in this dress . ’ ‘ i love me so much , can’t keep my hands off myself . ’ ‘ drop your man down like you don’t want him no more . ’ ‘ drop it so low that your thighs get sore . ’

007. LOVE A GIRL RIGHT . ‘ that boy’s so scandalous . ’ ‘ he was cheating on the low in the club all night . ’ ‘ she’s all alone wonderin’ if he’s coming home or not . ’ ‘ you know , i’ll be watching you . ’ ‘ she’s the baddest thing to ever happen to you . ’ ‘ don’t make me have to hurt you . ’ ‘ i know right now we’re cool , but if i ever hear you mess this up , i’m comin’ after you . ’ ‘ don’t you treat her wrong . ’ ‘ you’re about to lose her love . ’ ‘ she means the whole world to me . ’ ‘ all she wants is your loyalty . ’ ‘ you better not risk it . ’

008. AMERICAN BOY . ‘ he breaks my heart . ’ ‘ i know he thinks about her when he plays guitar . ’ ‘ he says that i’m the one , but she’s the one that got away . ’ ‘ i don’t mean to get so caught up and insecure about all the things you say . ’ ‘ i don’t mean to be jealous . ’ ‘ i must drive you mad . ’ ‘ i wanna know who’s on your phone . ’ ‘ i wanna know if you’re at home . ’ ‘ if you’re at home , baby , are you alone ?? ’ ‘ are you alone ?? answer your phone . ’

009. TOLD YOU SO . ‘ be honest , how are you feeling ?? ’ ‘ have you been crying again ?? ’ ‘ breathe out . ’ ‘ that boy was just playing pretend . ’ ‘ you wouldn’t listen . ’ ‘ he’s never gonna love you like we do . ’ ‘ he’s never gonna find no one like you . ’ ‘ just come ‘round mine tonight , i got wine and makeup wipes . ’ ‘ i’ll hold you . ’ ‘ we can put the kettle on , talk about how he’s not the one . ’ ‘ i’m never gonna say “ i told you so ” . ’ ‘ to be honest , his best friend was hotter than him . ’ ‘ you’re better than someone who lies and cheats . ’

010. WASABI . ‘ wake up , change your mind and drop me . ’ ‘ love to hate me . ’ ‘ spit me out like hot wasabi . ’ ‘ praise me , shame me , either way you talk about me . ’ ‘ i love the way you talk about me , look at how far it got me . ’ ‘ what the hell do you know ?? ’ ‘ i’m glad to be your inspiration . ’ ‘ who’s the topic of your conversation ?? ’ ‘ all the ugly things you say . come and say them to my face . ’

011. MORE THAN WORDS ( FT . KAMILLE . ) ‘ when you think you’re alone i’ll be like a ghost behind you . ’ ‘ when you can’t find the things to say you know i’ll give my words to you . ’ ‘ you’re a part of me now just as much as i’m a part of you . ’ ‘ i find peace in every story you told . ’ ‘ i think of you , i’ll never be alone . ’ ‘ i need you more than words can say . ’ ‘ you save me in ways that i can’t explain . ’ ‘ you’ve always been there for me , now i’ll do the same . ’

012. MOTIVATE . ‘ we switching every kind of pose up . ’ ‘ he give it to me any way that i want it . ’ ‘ he never let me down when he go lower . ’ ‘ the way that he touch me , no i can’t get enough . ’ ‘ he motivate me , yeah that’s my baby . ’ ‘ i’m catching feelings . ’ ‘ he gon’ get it when he get home . ’ ‘ that’s my baby . ’

013. NOTICE . ‘ it’s been a while since you noticed . ’ ‘ i feel like you’ve been losing focus . ’ ‘ undress me just the way i like it . ’ ‘ i don’t think you know what i’ve been doing . and what i got on for you to take off . ’ ‘ i don’t think you notice . ’ ‘ i don’t think you care . ’ ‘ what’s the point of wearing nothing if you never notice ?? ’ ‘ there’s sex in the air . ’ ‘ i’m not covered up in lace to wait around . ’

014. THE CURE . ‘ i lost my faith . ’ ‘ i’ll be better on my own , believe me . ’ ‘ i made my peace with all of the sorry and now i’m living for tomorrow . ’ ‘ i was a little bit lost but i’m not anymore . ’ ‘ i was a little bit hurt but i’m not anymore . ’ ‘ i was a little left out but i’m not anymore . ’ ‘ the tears fell down but they don’t anymore . ’ ‘ i was a little messed up but i’m not anymore . ’ ‘ i was a little locked out but i’m not anymore . ’ ‘ i was a little far gone but i’m not anymore . ’ ‘ it’s alright now , baby i got the cure . ’ ‘ this happiness was always inside me . ’ ‘ this happiness was always inside me , but lord , it took a minute to find me . ’ ‘ i’m putting all my troubles behind me , i only need my heart to guide me . ’ ‘ i’ll learn to love again . ’

015. FORGET YOU NOT . ‘ i’ve been out here looking for space . ’ ‘ i need you babe . ’ ‘ it’s no fun being hot on your own . ’ ‘ before you move on , i got something to tell you . ’ ‘ in the club , boy , i’ll forget you not . ’ ‘ when it’s late at night , i know it gets so hard . ’ ‘ if you need somebody , i’mma give you that love . ’ ‘ i wish that we could chill like we used to do . ’ ‘ felt like there was no one in the room except me and you . ’ ‘ i’m passing people in the street wishing they were you . ’ ‘ sorry that i had to let you go . ’ ‘ maybe my friends they were right all along . ’

016. WOMAN’S WORLD . ‘ baby , you’re not just a pretty face . ’ ‘ she’s over worked and underpaid . ’ ‘ if you’ve never shouted to be heard , you ain’t lived in a woman’s world . ’ ‘ don’t you know a change is gonna come ?? ’ ‘ there’s a whisper in the water . ’ ‘ just look at how far that we’ve got . ’ ‘ this ain’t the way it’s gotta be . ’

017. ONLY YOU . ‘ dancing with your silhouette in the places that we met . ’ ‘ tryna find you in the moon . ’ ‘ paris never feels the same , when the streets all call your name . ’ ‘ so i hide in crowded rooms . ’ ‘ once upon a time we had it all . ’ ‘ i’m broken here tonight and darling no one else can fix me . ’

#little mix starters #sentence starters #rp starters #lyric meme #rp meme #ask meme

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boreothegoldfinch · 3 years ago

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chapter 6 paragraph iv

I still saw him—just not as much. More and more he spent nights with Kotku and her mother at the Double R Apartments—a transient hotel really, a broken down motor court from the 1950s, on the highway between the airport and the Strip, where guys who looked like illegal immigrants stood around the courtyard by the empty swimming pool and argued over motorcycle parts. (“Double R?” said Hadley. “You know what that stands for, right? ‘Rats and Roaches.’ ”) Kotku, mercifully, didn’t accompany Boris to my house all that much, but even when she wasn’t around he talked about her constantly. Kotku had cool taste in music and had made him a mix CD with a bunch of smoking hot hip-hop that I really had to listen to. Kotku liked her pizza with green peppers and olives only. Kotku really really wanted an electronic keyboard— also a Siamese kitten, or maybe a ferret, but wasn’t allowed to have pets at the Double R. “Serious, you need to spend more time with her, Potter,” he said, bumping my shoulder with his. “You’ll like her.” “Oh come on,” I said, thinking of the smirky way she behaved around me —laughing at the wrong time, in a nasty way, always commanding me to go to the fridge to fetch her beers. “No! She likes you! She does! I mean, she thinks of you more as a little brother. That’s what she said.” “She never says a word to me.” “That’s because you don’t talk to her.” “Are you guys screwing?” Boris made an impatient noise, the sound he made when things didn’t go his way. “Dirty mind,” he said, tossing the hair out of his eyes, and then: “What? What do you think? Do you want me to make you a map?” “Draw you a map.” “Eh?” “That’s the phrase. ‘Do you want me to draw you a map.’ ” Boris rolled his eyes. Waving his hands around, he started in again about how intelligent Kotku was, how “crazy smart,” how wise she was and how much life she had lived and how unfair I was to judge her and look down on her without bothering to get to know her; but while I sat half listening to him talk, and half watching an old noir movie on television (Fallen Angel, Dana Andrews), I couldn’t help thinking about how he’d met Kotku in what was essentially Remedial Civics, the section for students who weren’t smart enough (even in our extremely non-demanding school) to pass without extra help. Boris—good at mathematics without trying and better in languages than anyone I’d ever met—had been forced into Civics for Dummies because he was a foreigner: a school requirement which he greatly resented. (“Because why? Am I likely to be someday voting for Congress?”) But Kotku— eighteen! born and raised in Clark County! American citizen, straight off of Cops!—had no such excuse. Over and over, I caught myself in mean-spirited thoughts like this, which I did my best to shake. What did I care? Yes, Kotku was a bitch; yes, she was too dumb to pass regular Civics and wore cheap hoop earrings from the drugstore that were always getting caught in things, and yes, even though she was only eighty-one pounds or whatever she still scared the hell out of me, like she might kick me to death with her pointy-toed boots if she got mad enough. (“She a little fighta nigga,” Boris himself had said boastfully at one point as he hopped around throwing out gang signs, or what he thought were gang signs, and regaling me with a story of how Kotku had pulled out a bloody chunk of some girl’s hair—this was another thing about Kotku, she was always getting in scary girl fights, mostly with other white trash girls like herself but occasionally with the real gangsta girls, who were Latina and black.) But who cared what crappy girl Boris liked? Weren’t we still friends? Best friends? Brothers practically?

Then again: there was not exactly a word for Boris and me. Until Kotku came along, I had never thought too much about it. It was just about drowsy air-conditioned afternoons, lazy and drunk, blinds closed against the glare, empty sugar packets and dried-up orange peels strewn on the carpet, “Dear Prudence” from the White Album (which Boris adored) or else the same mournful old Radiohead over and over: For a minute I lost myself, I lost myself… The glue we sniffed came on with a dark, mechanical roar, like the windy rush of propellers: engines on! We fell back on the bed into darkness, like sky divers tumbling backwards out of a plane, although—that high, that far gone —you had to be careful with the bag over your face or else you were picking dried blobs of glue out of your hair and off the end of your nose when you came to. Exhausted sleep, spine to spine, in dirty sheets that smelled of cigarette ash and dog, Popchik belly-up and snoring, subliminal whispers in the air blowing from the wall vents if you listened hard enough. Whole months passed where the wind never stopped, blown sand rattling against the windows, the surface of the swimming pool wrinkled and sinister-looking. Strong tea in the mornings, stolen chocolate. Boris yanking my hair by the handful and kicking me in the ribs. Wake up, Potter. Rise and shine. I told myself I didn’t miss him, but I did. I got stoned alone, watched Adult Access and the Playboy channel, read Grapes of Wrath and The House of the Seven Gables which seemed as if they had to be tied for the most boring book ever written, and for what felt like thousands of hours—time enough to learn Danish or play the guitar if I’d been trying—fooled around in the street with a fucked-up skateboard Boris and I had found in one of the foreclosed houses down the block. I went to swim-team parties with Hadley —no-drinking parties, with parents present—and, on the weekends, attended parents-away parties of kids I barely knew, Xanax bars and Jägermeister shots, riding home on the hissing CAT bus at two a.m. so fucked up that I had to hold the seat in front of me to keep from falling out in the aisle. After school, if I was bored, it was easy enough to go hang out with one of the big lackadaisical stoner crowds who floated around between Del Taco and the kiddie arcades on the Strip. But still I was lonely. It was Boris I missed, the whole impulsive mess of him: gloomy, reckless, hot-tempered, appallingly thoughtless. Boris pale and pasty, with his shoplifted apples and his Russian-language novels, gnaweddown fingernails and shoelaces dragging in the dust. Boris—budding alcoholic, fluent curser in four languages—who snatched food from my plate when he felt like it and nodded off drunk on the floor, face red like he’d been slapped. Even when he took things without asking, as he all too frequently did —little things were always disappearing, DVDs and school supplies from my locker, more than once I’d caught him going through my pockets for money —his own possessions meant so little to him that somehow it wasn’t stealing; whenever he came into cash himself, he split it with me down the middle and anything that belonged to him, he gave me gladly if I asked for it (and sometimes when I didn’t, as when Mr. Pavlikovsky’s gold lighter, which I’d admired in passing, turned up in the outside pocket of my backpack). The funny thing: I’d worried, if anything, that Boris was the one who was a little too affectionate, if affectionate is the right word. The first time he’d turned in bed and draped an arm over my waist, I lay there half-asleep for a moment, not knowing what to do: staring at my old socks on the floor, empty beer bottles, my paperbacked copy of The Red Badge of Courage. At last— embarrassed—I faked a yawn and tried to roll away, but instead he sighed and pulled me closer, with a sleepy, snuggling motion. Ssh, Potter, he whispered, into the back of my neck. Is only me.

It was weird. Was it weird? It was; and it wasn’t. I’d fallen back to sleep shortly after, lulled by his bitter, beery unwashed smell and his breath easy in my ear. I was aware I couldn’t explain it without making it sound like more than it was. On nights when I woke strangled with fear there he was, catching me when I started up terrified from the bed, pulling me back down in the covers beside him, muttering in nonsense Polish, his voice throaty and strange with sleep. We’d drowse off in each other’s arms, listening to music from my iPod (Thelonious Monk, the Velvet Underground, music my mother had liked) and sometimes wake clutching each other like castaways or much younger children. And yet (this was the murky part, this was what bothered me) there had also been other, way more confusing and fucked-up nights, grappling around half-dressed, weak light sliding in from the bathroom and everything haloed and unstable without my glasses: hands on each other, rough and fast, kickedover beers foaming on the carpet—fun and not that big of a deal when it was actually happening, more than worth it for the sharp gasp when my eyes rolled back and I forgot about everything; but when we woke the next morning stomach-down and groaning on opposite sides of the bed it receded into an incoherence of backlit flickers, choppy and poorly lit like some experimental film, the unfamiliar twist of Boris’s features fading from memory already and none of it with any more bearing on our actual lives than a dream. We never spoke of it; it wasn’t quite real; getting ready for school we threw shoes, splashed water at each other, chewed aspirin for our hangovers, laughed and joked around all the way to the bus stop. I knew people would think the wrong thing if they knew, I didn’t want anyone to find out and I knew Boris didn’t either, but all the same he seemed so completely untroubled by it that I was fairly sure it was just a laugh, nothing to take too seriously or get worked up about. And yet, more than once, I had wondered if I should step up my nerve and say something: draw some kind of line, make things clear, just to make absolutely sure he didn’t have the wrong idea. But the moment had never come. Now there was no point in speaking up and being awkward about the whole thing, though I scarcely took comfort in the fact. I hated how much I missed him. There was a lot of drinking going on at my house, on Xandra’s end anyway, a lot of slammed doors (“Well, if it wasn’t me, it had to be you,” I heard her yelling); and without Boris there (they were both more constrained with Boris in the house) it was harder. Part of the problem was that Xandra’s hours at the bar had changed—schedules at her work had been moved; she was under a lot of stress, people she’d worked with were gone, or on different shifts; on Wednesdays and Mondays when I got up for school, I often found her just in from work, sitting alone in front of her favorite morning show too wired to sleep and swigging Pepto-Bismol straight from the bottle.

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