taps on ur shoulder any mh thoughts or hcs spinning around in your head rn
Honestly, I love thinking about trans Alex Kralie so much, usually transfemme Alex because, like, look at that guy, especially in that one video where he was with Amy, "he" was She in that video I believe it with my whole soul.
But like, just thinking about Alex being closeted transfemme and in a big ol' polycule where she's the hinge partner between Amy and Jay, Tim and Brian (so Amy is Tim, Brian and Jay's metamour) like, just thinking about Alex coming out to Amy first, not because she thinks the boys wouldn't be accepting, or even that she thinks Amy would be more accepting than they would, just because to come out to any of the boys she'd then feel obligated to come out to all of them at the same time, she wouldn't want to tell one of them before the others, so she'd have to tell them all at once and that feels too big. So she just comes out to Amy first.
And that goes super well, and it's so much less scary than she thought it'd be. So she comes out to Amy and Amy starts offering to take her clothes shopping, or buy stuff for her if she doesn't feel comfy enough to buy her own stuff. She teaches Alex how to do her make up (and they definitely do that think like that one photo, with Amy sitting in Alex's lap to do her lipgloss for her and Alex has a huge sapphic crisis over it and gay panics for half an hour because holy shit her girlfriend is so fucking gorgeous and she's sitting on her and her face is so close to Alex's, and she's doing her lipgloss for her and oh my god Alex needs to kiss her and mess up that lipgloss immediately)
So it goes like that for a few months, with only Amy knowing, and Alex is slowly getting more and more comfy in herself. She knows how to do her own eyeliner and mascara, she knows how to use foundation and contour now, and she pretty much never leaves the house without nail polish any more because it just makes her feel so pretty, and if anyone asks she can say she's "just a guy who's not scared to wear nail polish, fuck off alright?"
But obviously, eventually she feels kinda ready to tell her other partners. Amy offers to go with her, and Alex agrees immediately because god she's so nervous, even though she knows it'll all go absolutely fine. Like, Tim is trans himself, of course it'll go fine, literally how could it not, Alex already knows all her boyfriends are totally fine with dating someone who's trans. But that obviously doesn't stop the nerves. So Amy picks her up a bit early and takes her out for a little cafe date to try and help her calm her nerves: "A coffee date without the coffee because it'll just make you even more nervous and jittery. You're getting hot chocolate and that's final."
So they have their little no coffee coffee date and head on to go meet up with the others, and Alex is so nervous, like, knee bouncing, fingers tapping, picking at the skin around her nails so that she doesn't pick off the nail polish that she put on the night before. And Amy just leans over and kisses her once they're parked up outside Brian and Tim's apartment, which is where they all agreed to meet because it's the biggest of everyone's places.
Amy and Alex knock on the door and Alex is panicking over the outfit she chose to wear, even though it's her favourite outfit and Amy constantly reminds her how utterly gorgeous and pretty and so hot she is in it (and out of it). Jay's the one who answers the door and he just kinda stares at Alex for a moment like, cartoon heart eyes floating off the ground drooling at the sight of a beautiful woman, because he's a total fucking loser and gorgeous women are his weakness (gorgeous men too, but right now all he can think is "holy fuck Alex is wearing a skirt and lipstick. I MUST KISS.")
So like, they get into the apartment and the whole conversations goes absolutely fine, just like Alex knew it would, and Amy had promised it would. And the day just ends with the whole polycule (missing Sarah, because I fully believe she's in this polycule too, except she's only dating Amy and Jessica, and not Alex or any of the boys so she wasn't massively needed for this conversation) the whole polycule all cuddled up on and in front of the couch, with Alex in the middle getting just absolutely doted on because they all saw how much she was shaking and how anxious she was and just NEED to show her how loved she is. Like, everyone seems to need to have at least some part of themself touching her at all times, whether it's fingers laced between hers, their head on her shoulder, a hand on her thigh fiddling with the hem of her skirt, whatever.
And she just feels so happy. Like, she's pretty sure she's never been more in love and she can't WAIT to start wearing make up and more feminine clothes in front of her boyfriend's because she KNOWS that they'll all just trip over themselves to do what she wants. Because they already did that anyway, and she knows from their initial reactions to seeing her all dolled up that that'll just get worse as time goes on :]
As in, if she wants kisses, she will have all three of her boyfriend's waiting in line because she's wearing lipstick and they're obsessed with getting lipstick marks on their cheeks and necks and stuff. Bonus points if it's black lipstick she's wearing, Jay goes nuts over it. Amy says she looks prettiest in dark red lipstick, and absolutely takes any excuse to climb on top of her to apply it herself before they make out just so she can see it all smeared and messed up afterwards. Amy is very gay for her girlfriend who could 100% flip them over at any second but just Doesn't because she likes looking up at Amy and seeing her smile :]
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what do you think their lives would have been like if scully got to keep emily?
if i said and then they lived happily ever after, would you all laugh in my face?
no, i think it would’ve been hard, especially at first. i always got the sense that like…for as much as wanting kids was always on the forefront for scully, and consequently for mulder, they never really had like…a plan…for how that would work…logistically, the plan probably would’ve been close to what they did when she was pregnant with william. scully leaving the field, teaching classes again. mulder left the fbi at the end of s8 and in a perfect world, he would’ve been home.
but that plan only worked because of the specific circumstances that they were in then. they had already learned the truth about samantha. they had doggett working the x-files. both of them could leave. that’s not something that would’ve been possible, back when they found emily. they would’ve had to keep going. (mulder would’ve had to keep going, and, conversely, consequently scully). and that would be hard, in taking on a child, especially one with emily’s medical needs and traumatic situation.
that’s part of the anxiety in emily as an episode, and part of what i really respect about mulder in it. he’s worried about what would happen. he thinks it’s dangerous for scully to pursue the adoption. but he tells the judge that he doesn’t have any right to question what scully wants, and that he doesn’t believe that anyone else does either. even though he knows, it would change things.
but for all of the ways that it would’ve been hard…wouldn’t it have also just been the best? they found a little girl. they spend their whole lives chasing after lost girls, and they found one. and she drew silly pictures and she was shy like scully and she only ever smiled for mulder. and they just loved her. that scene in the end, at the funeral, when mulder says that maybe she didn’t just exist to die. maybe she existed to be found, to be loved. they found her and they loved her.
i think something like this in their lives would’ve gone a long way, to be honest.
emily had to die just like melissa had to die just like samantha’s been dead from the beginning. there is no other end to this story, etc etc…
maybe they would’ve stopped, if this found little girl required it. maybe she would’ve been enough. they stopped when william was born.
and even with all of the help and the support and the conditions that they had then, where were they a year later?
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