#she would feel guilty forever

[juuuuunaaaaaooooo]

This is her face when he pulls the trigger!

And just after!

[essektheylyss]

My thing about Veth potentially venturing into polyamory is that I do think everyone involved would be perfectly fine with it and happy to help her experiment, and I think that no matter how they do it, it would not fix her. This isn't to say that she wouldn't get any benefit out of trying! It's just to say that it's not a solution to her actual problem, because I genuinely don't think the problem is that she's lacking any one thing that would make her life complete.

Fundamentally, I think Veth struggles with the idea that there will come a point at which she has to settle. Not in a bad way, just in the sense that she is one person with one life and she will have to live within those bounds. Because the thing is, I don't really think her issue ends at struggling to "have it all"; to an extent she does! She is a good parent, even if her kid is a little rebellious; her marriage is supportive (and has fun sex); she gets to go off to save the world with Yeza's blessing on occasion, when the world needs saving. She doesn't have all of these things all the time, but... that's not really a flaw, that's just a fact of life.

But she started out her adult life settling to an extent—even if she loved Yeza and loved being Luc's mom, she did the safe thing that was expected of her. The goblin attack and everything that transpired after shoved her out of that life, but in retrospect, to an extent it likely feels that that pushed her to find something more that she wouldn't have had otherwise. Being pushed to her limit under the worst conditions made her better, stronger, braver, and at the end of it she found that she could have both her original life and much of her new life—so why wouldn't she then wonder if further experiences of that ilk could do the same?

Crucially, she has not actually run up against a hard limit yet, and as such she hasn't had reason to believe that there is a point at which she has to stop and recognize that there isn't more for her to find. When she was drinking more heavily during missions, even when it caused the death of herself or others, there were no long-term consequences. And the thing is, I'm not saying that she should face that kind of major consequence, but she seems as though she is scared to accept that maybe she could be happy if she stopped before she does.

I'm also not suggesting that she should stop experimenting or trying new things—the Luxon knows I am not one to talk in that realm—but I do think she is searching for novelty not because that would make her happy, but because she doesn't believe that she has the capacity to know what would make her happy. She was unaware that polyamory was even an option, so think of what else she might not be aware of! She doesn't have perfect knowledge of the world, after all, so how can she trust that she's found what she really wants? So yeah, she could fuck someone else, and it might even be an enjoyable experience that she didn't know was missing! But that only prolongs the question of what else she might be missing.

I think that deep down, she's terrified that if she doesn't keep pushing until that external hard limit, she will end up with regrets later, and simultaneously she is resentful that her friends all seem to have reached a point where they are largely content with what they have, because she wants them to have everything. She wants herself to have everything. And she has not yet allowed herself to come to terms with the fact that only she can determine when the everything of what she already has is enough, and anything else is the cherry on top.

[edwinisms]

I know how it sounds at first, but I really gotta feel bad for the boys that sacrificed edwin; I mean even the term “sacrificed edwin” paints them in a more sinister light than they really deserve– considering that wasn’t really, actually their intention.

they were bullies, they were homophobic (and/or were self loathing gay boys themselves taking it out on edwin, or were equally likely peer pressured into acting a certain way), they planned something stupid and mean to do to an innocent, anxious boy with the goal of scaring the shit out of him, all because he was effeminate and an easy target. but they didn’t know or expect any of the ritual stuff to be real. they were all laughing and joking during the ritual because it was just that to them– a joke. a cruel joke, but a joke.

teenagers can be mean and stupid and they usually regret it as adults and grow out of it / grow from it. they were stifled the chance to grow out of it, at least while alive. none of those boys deserved to be instakilled and sent to hell; they’re really not that much less deserving than edwin himself. they were all just kids, after all.

[otomes-and-tears]

Can you do headcanons female x step 2 Qiu from our life? i would like to see what would Qiu would try doing if Mc gotten bullied at all (sorry if i spelled anything wrong)

♦ Qiu finding out fem!MC is being bullied ♦

► tags/warnings: discussions of bullying

► words: 514

► A/N: No worries! I could understand you perfectly <3 Hope you like it!

► Masterlist

Something was wrong;

Qiu didn’t know exactly what it was at first— only that MC started acting strange, and would insist that everything was alright when asked;

At first, Qiu thought they had done something wrong;

Maybe they accidentally offended her? Maybe they took a joke just a little too far and she was hurt by it?;

But strangely, she would act relatively normal when they were together in the neighbourhood;

They still had the sense that something was bothering her, by the way her laughter always seemed to cut too short and her mind seemed to wander elsewhere;

But it wasn’t a discomfort because of them;

She’d lean in while they talked and welcomed Qiu’s affection, just like she used to;

But as soon as they entered the school, it was like a switch flipped;

Mc got quiet, nervous and tense;

And Qiu still didn’t know why;

They weren’t one to stick their nose where they didn’t belong— Qiu was much too busy to care about teenage drama, after all;

But MC was someone important, someone who mattered so much to them, and they just had to make sure everything was alright;

So they started digging;

They started mentioning MC in conversation, more than they used to, and tried to get information out of their classmates;

Qiu ignored all the comments they made about their little crush. This was too important;

Ironically, it was when they were least intending to that they accidentally stumbled into the answer to all of their questions;

Qiu was looking for one of the gloves they had misplaced when they caught a couple of girls they vaguely recognised intimidating MC;

They wasted no time in making their presence known, calling their dear friend’s name loud and clear;

The girls froze when they made their way to the group, offering their hand to their friend and being purposefully cold to the other girls;

Qiu didn’t really bother with intimidation or revenge. No. Their friend was their priority;

So they led her away, making sure to take her to somewhere quiet where they could talk in peace;

I think that Qiu would do their absolute best to comfort and reassure MC. Even if teenaged Qiu acts much differently than their child-self, I think a lot of their behaviours and actions to comfort MC would remind her of their younger self;

In the next following days, Qiu would maybe be slightly too overprotective;

They try to be subtle about it, but she can’t ignore the way they keep making excuses to hang around her;

And all their efforts to make sure that the girls who have been bothering her don’t approach her anymore;

The way that Qiu deals with the bullying is kind of swift and ruthless. They know they are popular, and that their word for whatever reason has influence over the school, so they’d take advantage of the rumour mill by being 100% truthful about everything that happened;

And by making sure people know that Qiu would not tolerate this kind of behaviour towards other people— especially their friends.

[kyluxtrashpit]

Okay I need to talk about death and specifically pet death and that’s not a thing a lot of people like to talk about but with old cat’s time left being unknown, I’m trying to make decisions and. I thought I knew what I was going to do but I’m second guessing it now so. I’ll actually use a cut this time so read on if you like, don’t if you’d not

I’m trying to plan ahead as much as I can considering I don’t know what’s going to happen and when. I’m hoping I can get another month or two with her but we’ll see. But I want to know what I’m going to do beforehand regardless so I don’t need to make any decisions in the moment

Originally, I was deadset on having her euthanized at home. Because she really doesn’t like the vet and then I don’t have to drive home all emotional and it just seemed like a good idea for everyone. I still need to call the place that does that and ask some questions but. I’m having doubts now

Her last 2 vet appointments actually went really well and she wasn’t nearly as upset as before (probably cause of gabapentin but. Can’t see why I couldn’t do that if she’s dying anyway. But she didn’t even growl or hiss, she did SO much better. So maybe she doesn’t hate it as much anymore? I’m not sure). But I know the vet still isn’t a place she likes to be so. I was thinking at home would be best for her

But at the same time. If it happens in my home, whether in her bed or on the couch or wherever… am I going to be able to see that spot as anything other than the place where she died? Am I going to be able to see this apartment as anything other than the place where she died? Is it going to make it harder for me to move on? And how will it affect new cat? Would it be better or worse for him to literally see it happen? And would doing it at home even be less stressful for her, given that they do need to set up the catheter and everything to deliver the medication? Or would she be just as upset even though it’s at home? Perhaps even more upset, as it could feel like a betrayal, a violation of her safe little home that she never expected?

And am I selfish for thinking about my comfort and my ability to move on when it’s the last moments of her life? Or is that reasonable, given I’m the one who has to live on without her? She always knows when I’m not feeling well and she comes and purrs on me - she doesn’t like it when I’m sad or sick or whatever. Would she, if I could tell her, understand if I did it at the vet given that she’s had a great life? Animals often can tell when it’s going to happen - will she know, will she forgive me? Would she prefer it that way?

But I still feel guilty for even considering doing it at the vet because I feel like I’m doing it for me and not her, though in some ways it might be the same or even better for her too. And there’s just no way for me to know for sure. But she deserves the best possible send off I can give her. I just. I don’t know what that is. And I know I’m running out of time to decide. And it’s also possible the time will come very suddenly and I won’t be able to arrange for it at home regardless, and the decision might be made for me

I don’t know. I know this is a highly personal decision and no one can make it for me. But if anyone has dealt with having to put a cat that dislikes the vet to rest and has any thoughts to add, I’d love to hear them. Or just any thoughts from anyone. I thought I knew what I was doing but the longer I think, the less sure I am

[lilithofpenandbook]

On the one hand, I don't really believe Dumbledore was evil or (that) manipulative. He just did what he had to do

On the other hand, him manipulating Snape and making a servant out of him bound by emotional blackmail and gaslighting is SO GOOD for angsty dark thoughts-

[thewanderingzeppelin]

Unexpected day off!!!

[phagodyke]

everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏

[psiimaid]

smth abt when rosa's like. Struggling So Bad but trying her absolute hardest w sign and being dead and being undead and the state of that existence and living in an entirely Not Safe world that is kind of new to. her also and like obvs there's no parenting blueprint or like any tips and tricks unless u count dragging in behemoth leavings for twelfth perigees and this kid is growing up in a world that wants him dead but like he's an awesome little guy a little quirky but Hey she knew he was Soecial from the get go and the constant battle of when to coddle and protect vs when she needs to let him fend for himself and learn abt the world cause she knows he'll never make it on if he's entirel reliant on her and she awlays had it in her to be a little bossy but is distancing herself from him and becoming this Authoritarian Protector taking on everything just to keep him sheltered. the best is that what she should do is it smart or is it selfish to want to be his friend instead. all they've rlly got is each other and in guiding him through his youth does she give him what she had a somewhat safer protected lifestyle but so so lonely and distant from those she was supposed to be closest to or does she go the extra scary mode freestyle independence route that baby sign is already pushing for being who he is but ultimately develop a much closer bond w him through giving him trust and autonomy and not hiding things from him and it's rough but well she's being honest abt the scary state of the world and being open and available and loving even when she makes Slip Ups and he's an awesum tiny person and he learned so much of it from her but it feels like he's the one bettering her and she has #no idea what she's doing and well the signless and his mom are best friends

[memories-break-our-fall]

hey I don’t like being a smart gifted kid anymore. can I please be normal I’d much prefer that

[kavehater]

I can’t believe people assign Kaveh the yandere trope sometimes like that is SO ooc he literally wouldn’t ?! I mean I personally don’t care if he is or isn’t but canonically speaking bro let his own mother whom he loved so dearly to leave FOR HER SAKE even though he was so hurt by her going … he would not trap somebody like he would probably end up killing himself from guilt like are you serious 😭

[ramblinseahorsey]

As a person with bipolar disorder, I never thought I'd see a joke about mania I liked, but Gangle's struggles with her emotions and the heavy guilt for being over the top or needing help all the time was handled with so much care in her "episode". I feel respected and heard... Which is very rare.

Lots of people who are doting when your hurt in a thematically romance-able way, conveniently quiet or depressed and tragic, suddenly don't like helping or being around you, or even knowing you at all once your disabilities make you annoying, discomforting or angry. When your feelings are out of your control, and your hurt and overwhelming emotions disables you from being kind and helpful and happy, people are often much more disconcerted with you than bad behavior from a "normal" person. Sometimes it feels way lonelier than being stuck in a depressive episode somehow.

And you know they often don't mean to or don't know they're disrespecting Gangle, she seems to know too, but she sucks it up because she doesn't know how to "earn" help in either state, and the fear that a sudden surge of happiness will lead to a sudden great fall after solidifies the want to hide your "wrongness".

She is the very opposite of helpful here, but she tries her best, and having someone let her know it's ok for her to be around or have failed attempts to not bother those around her is all she needed to smile on her own face today. It doesn't fix everything, Zooble doesn't even correct her from saying she doesn't deserve their friendship, cause that's not something she will believe or needs to hear right now. She needs to know she still deserves and will get help and more tries, that there will still be people who will forgive and love her, that those who lose their patience with her right back will still want to spend time with her later.

The horrible ups and downs still haunt you, the long long journey to find the right treatment is exhausting, and it still won't ever get rid of all of it, but the episodes don't feel like their going on forever and always when someone will listen to you, wants to listen to you. Wants not just to help you, wants to spend time with you, wants you to be.

Also it is legitimately really funny to me she outright states she's going to weaponize her trauma to get back at Jax for his warcrimes lol. There isn't much out there better at making you feel less guilty about your mania than a legitimately evil person tbh. The manic episode having more seasons pun feels like something a bipolar person or someone who is trusted personally by a bipolar person would say, it legit made me giggle

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Anxious Attachment Style

Common Anxious Thoughts, Emotions, and Reactions

THOUGHTS

Mind reading: "That’s it, I know s/he’s leaving me."

All-or-nothing thinking: "I’ve ruined everything, there’s nothing I can do to mend the situation."

"I’ll never find anyone else."

"I knew this was too good to last."

"I have to talk to or see him/her right now."

"S/he can’t treat me this way! I’ll show him/her!"

"S/he is so amazing, why would s/he want to be with me anyway?"

"I knew something would go wrong; nothing ever works out right for me."

"S/he’d better come crawling back to beg my forgiveness, otherwise s/he can forget about me forever."

"Maybe if I look drop-dead gorgeous or act seductive, things will work out."

Remembering all the good things your partner ever did and said after calming down from a fight.

Recalling only the bad things your partner has ever done when you’re fighting.

EMOTIONS

Sad ⚜ Angry ⚜ Fearful ⚜ Resentful ⚜ Frustrated

Hopeless ⚜ Despairing ⚜ Jealous ⚜ Hostile ⚜ Vengeful

Guilty ⚜ Self-loathing ⚜ Restless ⚜ Uneasy ⚜ Humiliated

Hate-filled ⚜ Uncertain ⚜ Agitated ⚜ Rejected ⚜ Depressed

Unloved ⚜ Lonely ⚜ Misunderstood ⚜ Unappreciated

ACTIONS

Act out. ⚜ Attempt to reestablish contact at any cost.

Pick a fight. ⚜ Threaten to leave.

Wait for them to make the first reconciliation move.

Act hostile—roll eyes, look disdainful.

Try to make him/her feel jealous.

Act busy or unapproachable. ⚜ Act manipulatively.

Withdraw—stop talking to their partner or turn away from him/her physically.

Attachment classifications come from watching babies’ behavior.

Below is a short description of how anxious attachment style is defined in children. Some of their responses can also be detected in adults who share the same attachment style.

This baby becomes extremely distressed when mommy leaves the room.

When her mother returns, she reacts ambivalently—she is happy to see her but angry at the same time.

She takes longer to calm down, and even when she does, it is only temporary.

A few seconds later, she’ll angrily push mommy away, wriggle down, and burst into tears again.

Where Do Attachments Styles Come From?

Initially it was assumed that adult attachment styles were primarily a product of your upbringing.

Thus, it was hypothesized that your current attachment style is determined by the way in which you were cared for as a baby:

If your parents were sensitive, available, and responsive, you should have a secure attachment style; if they were inconsistently responsive, you should develop an anxious attachment style; and if they were distant, rigid, and unresponsive, you should develop an avoidant attachment style.

Today, however, we know that attachment styles in adulthood are influenced by a variety of factors, one of which is the way our parents cared for us, but other factors also come into play, including our genes and life experiences.

Source ⚜ More: On Attachment ⚜ References ⚜ Avoidant Attachment

[fastandcarlos]

Streamer Baby : ̗̀➛ George Russell

summary: your baby is the ultimate daddy’s girl, but when george goes off to stream she doesn’t want to find herself away from him for too long

The squeals that came from downstairs immediately brought a smile to your face as you headed down to find George and your daugther running around the living room. It was typical for the two of them, charging around and causing chaos with wide smiles on their faces. Despite your constant pleas to calm things down as your daughter’s bedtime neared, George couldn’t ignore her whines to play with her and keep her entertained. They were so lost with one another that for a moment they didn’t even notice that you had walked into the room, that was until your daughter, Willow, went crashing into your leg, hitting the ground with a bit of a bump. 

“Sorry love,” George smiled, walking over and picking Willow up from the ground in order to check her over. 

“It’s going to take forever to get her down if she’s this giddy,” you reminded him, perching on the side of the sofa. 

“Mummy, daddy kept tickling me,” your daughter complained, poking her finger into George’s cheek several times, making sure that you knew George was responsible. 

“That’s because a certain someone kept climbing on me and trying to pull out my hair,” George defended, raising a questionable glance back at Willow. 

“You’re both impossible,” you chuckled, knowing you had your hands full with the pair. 

“But you love us,” George reminded you, standing himself up from the floor and placing Willow into your lap, making sure you had her before letting go. 

“Hm, sometimes I guess you’re alright,” you teased, allowing George to press a kiss against the top of your head, and then one to the top of Willow’s. “How long do you reckon you’ll be?” You quizzed, knowing where George was heading as soon as he went to walk towards the door to your living room. 

“I think Charles picked out a couple of games for us to play, we shouldn’t take long, with how rubbish we’ve all been at games recently I imagine we’ll all crash out pretty quickly.” George assured you, “but if you need me, come and get me and I’ll leave the stream.” As George went away, Willow stretched her hands out for George to come back. He poked her tongue out at her, watching as her smile grew and several giggles escaped, helped by the feeling of your hands attacking her sides. 

Before Willow could cry out for him again, George left the room knowing she was still giggling and not paying attention. You moved down onto the floor to sit with her, picking up a couple of the toys that George had been entertaining her with whilst you finished your work in your office. For a while it seemed to work, but soon enough you noticed her eyes darting around the room as if she was looking for something, or someone. 

“Daddy,” she muttered as soon as she met your eyes, confused as to where George had suddenly disappeared to. 

“He’s playing with some of your uncles,” you told her, offering her as wide of a smile as you could make. 

“Not with me?” 

“He’ll play with you when he’s finished,” you assured her, scooping her up and sitting her into your lap, “why don’t you pick out a toy to play with for when daddy’s finished doing his work sweetheart?” 

“I want to play daddy’s game,” Willow cried out, watching as your eyes went wide at her sudden request. 

“You can’t play the games that daddy us, some of them are for adults like mummy and daddy,” you tried your best to explain to her. “I’m sure that daddy would love to play with one of your toys down here though.” 

“Now?” She pushed, her impatience beginning to kick in. 

“In a bit,” you sighed, almost feeling guilty that you weren’t able to keep her as happy as George seemed to. You were well aware you had a proper daddy’s girl on your hands, she doted on absolutely everything that George did, and when things didn’t go right, George was always the first person that Willow ran to whenever she felt tears threatening to spill. 

Upstairs in the office that you had vacated only a few minutes earlier, George was lost in the game that he and a few of the other boys were playing. Every so often he slipped his headphones off to listen out and make sure that things were alright with you. As he went to check again, George was left confused by a banging sound that came from the other side of the door. 

George stopped for a moment before excusing himself, walking over to the door. As he opened it up, two bright brown eyes stared back up at him. “Sweetheart,” George giggled as Willow innocently smiled. 

“Daddy, I found you,” she proudly giggled, stretching her arms up to let George know exactly what she wanted him to do. 

“I wasn’t lost,” he chuckled, kneeling down and scooping his little girl up into his arms. She rested against George’s chest as soon as he had her, cuddling into him nice and tight. George could only sigh, walking back into the room and sitting on his gaming chair with Willow against him. He didn’t have the heart to put her down, and certainly didn’t have the heart to tell her to give him some space. As much as Willow was a daddy’s girl, George was equally as obsessed with her. Although George set boundaries and tried his best to be a firm parent, he found it incredibly hard saying no to her, especially when she looked at him with her sweet smile. 

George didn’t need to say anything, as soon as Willow appeared on the screen the comments on his stream began to increase. Everyone was thrilled to see her, George’s fans especially were in love with any interaction they saw between the two of them, particularly whenever George had Willow in the paddock with him with all of the cameras around. 

“Lots of your uncles are here,” George grinned, placing the mic of his headphones in front of her. 

“Hi,” she waved, shouting into the mic, unaware that she had just deafened all of the boys in the process. 

“Sorry about that,” George laughed as he placed his headphones back on again, “this one’s a little sleepy so she’s going to stay here for a bit.” 

“Such a whipped dad,” Lando couldn’t help but tease as he watched the duo on his screen, “I don’t know how your wife puts up with you.” 

“Excuse me,” George sighed, shooting a glare down his camera. “I’ll have you know being a dad is the best thing in the world, you just wait, when you’ve got a baby doting on you one day you’ll understand,” he added, unaware of the many fans swooning as they watched the screen and saw George fiercely defend his family. 

“You’re the best dad,” Alex interrupted, chuckling as Willow shuffled to get even closer to George. “You two have the sort of relationship I want to have with my daughter when I get older.” 

“Still annoyingly cute,” Carlos interjected, “the rest of us have some catching up to do.” 

“We used to always say we’d have a grid of our own children when we retired, and at the moment that’s a grid of one,” George reminded them all, disturbed by the door opening out of the corner of his eye. You let go of a sigh as you opened it up to see Willow snuggled into George’s side, watching as he smiled across at you, assuring you that he didn’t mind that she had interrupted his stream. 

“Hi love,” George whispered once he had muted his mic. 

“I thought I’d lost her,” you sighed, leaning against the doorframe and taking in the sight of the two of you before you. 

“I think someone might have been missing their daddy,” George explained, pressing a kiss against the top of Willow’s head. “Sorry, I should’ve told you that I had her here.” 

“Don’t worry, just as long as you don’t mind having her there,” you smiled back at George. 

“I don’t mind.” 

“Tell her that we don’t mind too,” Lando called out through the headphones having overheard your conversation. 

“The boys say she has to stay,” George smiled, knowing that you couldn’t say no to those guys either. “Once she’s asleep I’ll let her rest and tuck her in when we’re finished here if that’s alright for you.” 

As you noticed your little girl resting against George, you didn’t have it in you to disturb her. You’d fallen asleep enough times on George to know just how comfortable it was and so you couldn’t deprive your little girl of that comfort too. 

“I’ll leave you guys to it if you’re happy,” you softly spoke. 

“We’re all good, you go and get some rest.” 

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[littlelamy]

Rafe taking care of Reader who goes through a depressive episode. She’s feeling like she is a burden and feels like everyone would be happier with her gone. Maybe things are pretty new between them, only gone on a few dates so she obviously (like most) isn’t going to tell him anything and doesn’t think she matters to a guy she has gone on a few dates with anyway, so she just stops responding to his texts

a/n: thank you for requesting!⭐️ i hope i wrote it appropriately to what you requested 🙂💗part 2 is up!

the first time rafe noticed something was off, it was subtle—just a missed text here and there. maybe a delayed reply. nothing unusual at first. he probably told himself you were busy. everyone has those days where life gets hectic.

but when hours stretched into days and your replies went from short to nonexistent, he started to feel that quiet pull of worry.

“hey, you okay?” he texted the day before, after his third unanswered message.

you saw it pop up on your screen. his name glowed against the darkness of your room, and for a moment, your heart ached with the idea of answering. but then the thought crept in.

he’s just being polite.he barely knows you.he’s probably relieved you stopped answering anyway.

so you let the screen go dark.

you told yourself it didn’t matter. it wasn’t like you two were serious. you’d only gone on a handful of dates, and even though every moment with rafe had been sweet and effortless, there was no way someone like him could actually care.

you’d been wrong about people before.

the weight in your chest had only grown heavier over the past few weeks. even getting out of bed felt impossible some days, let alone pretending to be okay for someone like rafe cameron. so, you didn’t bother. you shut your phone off, buried it under a pillow, and let the world fade into static.

the knock at your door startled you.

at first, you thought it might’ve been a neighbor or a delivery driver, someone just passing through. but then it came again, louder this time, more deliberate.

“y/n?”

you froze, your breath catching as his voice carried through the door.

“it’s rafe.”

you stared at the door like it might open on its own. the last thing you wanted was to face him, especially like this. but hearing his voice made your chest tighten in a way you couldn’t quite explain.

“i, uh…” he hesitated, the sound of him shifting his weight audible through the thin walls. “i just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

you stayed silent, hoping he’d take the hint and leave. but deep down, you knew rafe wasn’t the kind of guy to just walk away.

“you don’t have to let me in,” he added, his voice softer now, almost pleading. “just… let me know you’re alright.”

you clenched your fists, trying to will the lump in your throat away. how were you supposed to explain that you weren’t alright? that you hadn’t been alright in weeks?

the knock came again, gentler this time.

“i’m not leaving until i know you’re okay,” he said firmly, though there was no anger in his voice. only concern.

you sat frozen for what felt like forever, listening to the silence on the other side of the door. maybe he’d given up. maybe he was walking away right now, realizing this wasn’t worth his time.

but then your phone buzzed from where it lay buried under the pillow.

you hesitated before reaching for it, your hands trembling as you unlocked the screen.

rafe <3: hey, i’m outside your place. not trying to bother you, i just wanted to check in. if you need space, i get it. just let me know you’re alright, okay?

your chest ached as you read the words. there was nothing demanding about them, nothing that made you feel guilty or trapped. he wasn’t asking for anything except to know you were safe.

and that made it worse somehow.

because you weren’t.

taglist: @namelesslosers @princessslutt @averyoceanblvd @iknowdatsrightbih @starkeysprincess @sixrosberg @anamiad00msday @ivysprophecy @wearemadeofstardust0 @kissrotten @rafesangelita @sstargirln @rafedaddy01 @soldesole @bakugouswaif @skywalker0809 @vanessa-rafesgirl @evermorx89 @aariahnaa @outerhills @ditzyzombiesblog

[leaawrites]

Freaked Out

Lando Norris x fem!reader

Summary: Lando makes his relationship official via Live stream

Warnings: mentions of an engagement, use of Y/n

Masterlist

The lights were low. There was no sound but the breathing in sync of two people deep into thoughts. Two hours went by of lying in the same bed with no eyes closed.

“Are you sure you want to stay with me?” Lando asked, his hand gliding through the hair of the person beside him. She hummed, snuggling deeper into his chest. Inhaling his scent like it would be the last time. “I mean, are you really sure? You can’t walk with me around all holding hands and you have to put up with all those stupid rumors about a life you know ain’t true.”

“Lando,” she mused, propping her head on her hands and looking up at him. “I’ve put up with all this for god knows how long. This doesn’t change anything.” His eyes lingered on her hand a little longer, smiling at the shimmering light reflecting on the diamond.

“Two and a half years,” he said, reminding her on how long they’ve been together. Still surprised at how long they got to keep their relationship in private, away from the media and all of those people around them.

It might seem rather fast, but nothing ever felt as right as asking her to marry him. Nothing ever made him feel so sure of himself as when she said yes. The reminder that he had someone who loved him. The knowing that someone was willing to put up with him forever. It made him feel safe.

“Are you sure you wanna keep it a secret? Keep us a secret?” Lando asked, playing with the ring on her finger.

“I’ll be yours in silence for however long you want me to,” she said, laying her head back down, soothing his chest with kisses.

Lando didn’t answer, he couldn’t. There was never a moment when he didn’t want to just post a pic of the two kissing or making put or whatever it is that will make everyone know that he was a happy man with her. But he knew it wouldn’t work that way. There will always be some crazy fans, offended at the though of him having a future with anyone but them. He felt guilty for not showing her off like he’d want to. It weighed him down day by day, though he knew it was worth it. When he came home from a race weekend and wanted nothing but held, he knew her arms would already be open as he walked through the door. She was everything he wanted. She was more than he deserved.

Being a man, chronically online, Lando knew about almost every trend going around the world. No exception for the one McLaren just posted with Oscar as their star in the spotlight.

“Hey guys,” Lando spoke into the phone as he walked into the living room of his home in Monaco. His girlfriend didn’t look up, already used to him walking around the apartment when he talked on the phone with someone. “Can you watch my girlfriend while I set my sim up?”

Lando placed the phone on the coffee table, camera facing his girlfriend who worked on something on her laptop. At the familiar sentence structure, she looked up, her head following the boy, who walked into his game room.

“What the-” she started saying, before being cut off by Lando putting his head out of the room.

“You can’t swear, I’m still a PR-nightmare, you can’t be one as well,” he yelled out to her, before disappearing again.

“Hello?” The girl said, looking at the screen in front of her. At first she thought it was a normal video, though soon enough she saw the endless comments of unknown people flood the screen. Her eyes widen at the sudden realization of what just happened. “You’re live? Are you kidding me?” She yelled at the boy, who burst out laughing in the other room. He came rushing out, snatching his phone back and reading through the comments of very surprised fans, to say the least.

“Sorry, guys. Sorry,” Lando spoke to the people, still giggling at his little prank and his girlfriends grimace. “Not my girlfriend.”

That made her look at him, a mischievous look in his eyes as he smirked, looking at her and not the screen which was filled with freaked out people. Some saying, “Good lord, thank god. I just had a heart attack, thinking he really cheated on me.” And some saying, “That’s sad, she’s really pretty.”

“My fiancee,” he corrected himself, smiling at her. The girl in front of him, couldn’t help her own smile forming on her lips. Then he ended the live, leaving the people shocked and the world stuck in questions.

“What have you done, Norris?” Y/n asked, pulling her fiance down on the sofa with her.

“I’m not hiding you anymore,” he simply said, snuggling in the nape of her neck and peppering it with small, soft kisses.