#she was really confused tho

[nouverx]

*proceeds to drink the whole bottle*

Yeah Alastor you're gonna be loved and appreciated wether you want it or not :)

[silusvesuius]

baby👶 drawings. these are very dear to me rn.. 2nd pic is my Nelavis with @barvin0k's Varonur 🩵 last one is a baby bosmer and snow elf, hairiest of them all. although the bosmer was meant to be my girl Barletta too lols

[decaffeinatedpartymuggoop]

Percabeth love story from Annabeth’s pov is so funny cause like.

In book 2, she’s thinking “oh, me and Percy will do the chariot race together. It’ll be so fun!” Only to have Tyson, who she doesn’t like at the time, third wheel her planned alone time.

Then you get to the 3rd book. Okay, we’re recruiting 2 new demigods. Their at a dance? Oh, me and Percy can dance. Have a nice romantic moment, maybe even confess.

He runs off to deflect from Thalia’s plan and she falls off a cliff.

We’re at BOTL now, Percy finally asked her out on a date. Well it’s not a date date but the point still stands. AND their seeing a movie. Perfect for a first not date.

He shows up with a red headed mortal. The school is on fire. The mortal, Rachel, writes her number on his arm.

Okay, okay, some failed attempts. Buts it’s all right. She still has more chances.

Nope, no she doesn’t. He’s in a volcano, he could die. She should probably do something before it’s too late. She kisses him and runs off, hoping he survives.

He doesn’t, oh wait he does. It’s been 2 weeks? Where was he? Oh, on an island? With who? CALYPSOS island? Your kidding.

Mhm, he hasn’t brought up the kiss. He want a mortal to led HER quest? Her first ever quest? Maybe she was reading into this wrong. Does Percy NOT like her?

Well, he must not. He spent the whole school year AND summer with Rachel. She kissed him, has spent the last 2 years trying to confess her undying love. He’s about to DIE. His souls is going to be REAPED. But he spends a year away from her. Oh yeah, there’s also a war going on.

A kiss for luck? Tradition? Okay, maybe she was freaking out for nothing. Percy likes her. She’s not gonna kiss him though. He spends a year away from her? He has to earn her affection, thank you very much. He won’t die, hopefully. She’ll kiss him then.

He’s not dead! They won the war! Yay, yippie, fire works. She gives him a kiss and they go underwater. Four years of hard work, but at least it paid off.

[calicotisane]

[nelkcats]

Family Traditions

The Mansons and the Waynes always had a...rocky relationship. Starting with Alfred facing off against Ida on the battlefield during his time in the British secret service. And cursing when the girl scurried out of his sight.

Although they no longer wanted to kill each other (maybe, they had children to take care of), their rivalry prevailed, and they could start fighting over anything. It was one of the reasons Ida attended to the Wayne Gala and only the Wayne gala. Just to upset the butler.

And this didn't just stay with them, Pamela HATED Bruce Wayne (and the feeling was mutual). They attended galas since they were kids and he was the most fucking annoying person she knew. She couldn't believe how he fooled everyone with "the playboy Brucie", he was obnoxious. And smarter than people gave him credit for. (Also, Pamela was pretty sure he was gay anyway)

Sam didn't want to follow this family tradition but when Damian Wayne tried to stab her with a cooking knife (after she kindly gave him an advice, taking responsibility as the eldest between them), the war begun, again.

Danny started attending those galas only to see things explode after being told this piece of information by Sam. The entire Manson family knew about it but the Waynes had no idea why the Masters heir was there. He even brought popcorn!

[one-pissed-off-child]

Day 2 of posting Nevermore thoughts until S2 drops

I think people are incredibly unfair to Annabel. But more than that, I don't think Lenore gets half the shit that she probably should for being flaky as hell. Hold your tomatoes, please. So, homegirl agrees to the whole thing, sabotage and all, changes her mind immediately after without telling the relevant party, plays along anyway, flips out on said party because of the sabotage and manipulation that she was very explicitly told was going to take place, and then calls it all off at the starting line without offering a viable alternative. If I had to work on a project with a partner like that, I'd be on the news

[animentality]

a beta reader left a comment on my manuscript that was basically:

"this story is a waste of my time."

and it's like....

i have thick skin and all, since i've been working with beta readers for a long time, but...

ouch.

thanks, i guess. helpful.

[cyanocophrenic]

Sweets (1/?)

The snugness was barely tolerable. She had overestimated herself. She looked surreptitiously over her shoulder and ducked around a corner. The only thing following her were her bad decisions, but she felt chased all the same.

Okay. Calm down. Breathe (but not too deep). Evaluate the situation. What are your options? Can you loosen anything?

She looked down at herself. Past her swollen breasts, past a fluffy roll of upper belly, she examined her waistline. Nope. The button was the only thing keeping the zipper together, and vice versa. For the millionth time, she lamented her morning. What a bright idea, interviewing for a job with a snack company. She was very well aware of how sweets affected her.

Could she find somewhere discrete to wait out her... little metabolic mishap? She looked around for a discrete nook to accommodate her fresh bulk.

The little atrium she had found had a series of plush benches around the walls. She sighed and headed for the one in the corner. She sucked in as best she could and sat down. Some horny little corner of her mind made note of how it felt as her tight belly shifted against her puffy thighs.

Sitting like this, only barely upright lest bending too far compromise her jeans, she couldn't ignore how her waistband was trying to cut her in half. She thought back to how she had done this to herself. The lovely HR manager had very explicitly pointed out the basket of the company's sugary offerings there in the middle of interview table. The woman had been insistent that she try at least one of each, gushing like any good salesperson about their rich flavors and subtle textures, occasionally even peeling one out of its wrapper and handing it to her.

How could she have done anything but eat what was offered to her? And by a beautiful woman, no less. She knew how her body reacted to food like this, but she had been desperate to make a good impression, to look good and eager and employable. A good girl. She ignored that last thought, and the accompanying shiver through her frazzled tummy.

She closed her eyes and tried to steady herself. Breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth (but not too deeply). All she had to do was calm down, and give her body a chance to do the same. Then she could find a back door to sneak out of, go home and hope that somehow that she hadn't blown the interview.

She opened her eyes again and caught sight of herself in a mirror across the room. Holy crap, she was huge. She had been her normal, narrow self, and her outfit had fit very very normally, when she had arrived. But now? Now it looked positively painted onto her. Her breasts were trying to spill out of her tastefully exposed bra and over the lapel of her blouse. She was more balloon than woman at this point. She ignored another tingle.

As she watched herself in the mirror, she noticed something change. Slowly but surely, the last wrinkle in her blouse smoothed out. Uh oh. That meant... she was still filling out. Panic. She tingled again.

No. No. Calm. Breathe (but not too deep). She closed her eyes again, and could feel her plump body quietly grow. Crap.

Panic. Calm. Breathe (but not too deep). Calm.

Maybe if she didn't look, it would go away. That had never worked before, sure, but there's a first time for everything, right?

As she rationalized to herself, she noticed the sound of heels clacking towards her hiding spot. Panic!

Maybe their owner would pass and not notice her?

No such luck.

The woman who had interviewed her rounded the corner.

"There you are!"

She struggled to stand. So tight.

"You left your purse upstairs. I get it, though. Interviews can be pretty stressful, huh?"

Like nothing had changed. Did this woman not notice that she was currently three times the size she was when she had shown up? Could this woman not hear every seam in her clothes creaking in harmony? Could the woman not see how wide and deep and round she was becoming?

"It's such a beautiful handbag, I almost wanted to keep it for myself!" The woman laughed. "Oh well."

She took the bag from the woman. "O-oh! Thank you!" Leapt out of her.

"Listen," said the woman, "technically I have to review a few other candidates, but I think you're a shoo-in for the position." The woman moved closer. "No one else has shown so much... enthusiasm." Closer still. She basked in the smell of the woman's musky perfume.

"Oh... that's great!" she managed to squeak out.

"In fact," the woman continued, "if you'd like to come back upstairs, we can have you fill out the onboarding paperwork now, so you don't have to come back just to fill out some forms if... when we give you the job." So close now.

"Um! Okay!" What.

The woman placed a gentle hand on the side of her massive, tight, growing belly. "Listen, between you and me, that passion you showed today will take you far with us. Do you feel like the offer is fair? We can negotiate further if you need." The woman's eyes were so sincere.

What was going on here? She could barely think.

The woman placed her other hand on top of her belly, well hidden by her burgeoning breasts. "I do hope you'll say yes."

"Um..."

There was a pop. Her button pinged away across the room from her overburdened jeans. It made a little thwack sound as it hit the far wall. Her zipper flew down, zizzing audibly. Her belly erupted through the breach. Her blouse retreated upwards. The tingling became a roar. All the while, the woman, as though no tectonic shifts were happening right there and then, continued to implore with borderline puppydog eyes.

The world held its breath with her. How had this woman not reacted to any of that?! What? Was the woman still waiting for an answer?

"...okay?" She tried. She wasn't sure if her brain was still working. "Sure?" Best to stick to small sentences.

"Yay!" cheered the woman, "I really think you'll love it here!" The woman launched in for a quick hug around her exposed belly. The woman's arms didn't go even halfway around her. And still the woman didn't seem to notice that anything was wrong.

"Well! If you'll follow me back to the elevators, we can at least get the formalities out of the way."

The woman took her by the hand and pulled, still gentle. She followed, mutely. Even the horniest, shamiest corners of her mind were silent, waiting with bated breath.

As they reached the elevators, the woman pushed the up button and stood to the side. "Please," said the woman, "after you!"

On autopilot now, she stepped into the elevator and... wedged into the door. Stuck. What. Panic? Calm? The elevator dinged again as if to say "I'm waiting!"

The cold of the elevator doors brought her back to reality. She put a hand on either side of herself and tried to pull herself in. As though this were somehow normal, the woman chirped "Oh, here, let me help!"

She felt a gentle pair of hands press into her oceanic bottom. Her horny brain thrilled again. She clamped down on those thoughts. No time to be a pervert.

Between the two of them, they muscled her into the elevator. She turned to face the doors in time to watch the woman press into her in order to let the doors close. Normally equipped for eight full-sized human adults, due to her immensity, it very barely fit two.

"We need floor thirty," said the woman into her barely contained cleavage. She tried to reach for the panel of buttons, but by now there was simply too much of her in the way.

"I've got it," said the woman, reaching behind her without looking.

They rode the thirty floors quietly. She could feel herself still widening, pressing towards the walls of the elevator car. Her embarrassment had burnt out, leaving only a kind of stunned peace in her mind. She tried to will her body away from the woman, but where else could it really go?

By the time they reached their destination, the woman was firmly pressed against the doors, still showing no indication of the extra-ordinariness of the situation.

As the doors opened, the woman stepped back, grabbed her hands, and pulled as she tried to wiggle through the door. Eventually she floomped through, and they set off toward the HR suite.

Full-on waddling now, she felt an inner tension release. She had stopped growing. Relief. If nothing else, at least things had stopped getting worse. Sure, she was almost round enough to roll. Tingle. Sure, her clothing had been reduced to barely covering her... rude areas. Tingle. Sure, a beautiful woman was acting as though this was all perfectly normal. Tingle tingle tingle. But hey, at least it finally wasn't getting worse.

The woman pushed open the double doors to the HR suite and welcomed her in with another glittering smile. They seemed to be the only ones there. The woman led her, patiently, to the front desk area. The woman ducked behind the desk, looking for something.

"Hmm, it looks like I'll need to go print off more some more copies of the forms. Shouldn't take more than a minute or two." Finally she'd have a moment to collect herself.

Then the woman produced a basket, laden with various goodies, from underneath the desk. "Here! Help yourself, sorry to make you wait." Uh.

"Oh, here, allow me," said the woman, picking out a chocolate confection, peeling it, and pressing it into her mouth. "I'll be right back!"

She chewed and swallowed the treat.

Uh oh.

[meat-fr]

Cobalt Real!!!!! 💙💙💙

[venompinks]

JENNIE KIM as DYANNE ✱ THE IDOL FINALE EPISODE - Jocylen Forever

[manmadedonut]

datasha au where everything is the same but yar sings i wont say im in love with worf/wesley/troi/riker as the backup singers

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s4 episode 23 thoughts

we’re back!! and i appreciate the TW in advance about the sensitive content in this episode from a few followers. thank you very much for the warning! 🙏

but i’m excited to see what is going on today, and i’m sure it’ll be a doozy. let us read the episode description... now how do these agents keep getting involved in crimes that they didn’t commit??

must be CSM. i suspect him always. saves time.

(author's note post episode: woah.... so much happened... i have many questions... and i love mulder and scully very very very much <3)

anyway! let us begin!

okay, yes, i recall after watching the last episode, the beginning of this one started playing, and it was super creepy, and here we are again. very blurry, and it looks like stuff is on fire and warped.

yes, the garbled voices and samantha yelling to mulder as i had accidentally previewed before….. everything is flashing and weird sounding… i do not care for this.

despite being a grown man, when mulder looks in the mirror he sees himself as a child. must be a fever dream. 

they see their parents fighting??? mrs. mulder is saying something about “her baby”….

cutscene to a sweaty mulder on the floor!!! and not on the bed.

A BED?! where is he?? this is not his home!!

and his white shirt is covered in BLOOD??? he doesn’t seem to realize this at first!!!!

so he calls scully!!!! at 4:50 on the morning!!! awww poor girl was dead asleep... but she wakes up <3

he’s in a motel room in rhode island?!?!?!? he doesn’t know how tf he got there and whose blood is on him!!!!!

didn't he spend time in rhode island as a kid...

oh i’m invested…….. how does a guy get in this situation…. and what is scully going to do about it?????

whose blood is it!!!!

(cheering at gillian anderson in the intro)

NOW WHO PUT MY BOY IN THIS SITUATION!!!!!

at 6:15 AM scully is pulling into the rhode island motel. THAT is EFFICIENT!!! oh i know she was flooring it to get there so quickly. also it’s april now btw

she is, indeed, going very fast. 

his motel door is open…..  and the shower is running…. she’s yelling to him

(something very domestic about yelling to someone while they’re in the shower; it makes my heart melt a lil)

but what is less domestic is when he mumbles that he “can’t get warm”, and when she pulls the curtain open he’s curled up, shivering as he sits in steaming hot water!!! 

oh sopping wet poor meow meow…. what has been done to you???

she quickly deduces that he is in shock (medical doctor moment!!!) and turns off the water. she tells him to get dry and gets a blanket, and he emerges with just a towel wrapped around his waist, which is a shocking display of vulnerability- but we can unpack that later 

she’s absolutely shifting into doctor mode (perhaps my favorite mode of hers) as she asks him if he feels nauseous or dizzy and wraps him in a blanket, looking into his eyes, tilting his chin to glance at every angle of his face 

oh shit this is SERIOUS. she pulled out the “track my finger” and “do you know what day it is”, like this is going DOWN. i mean i KNEW it was going down with the bloody shirt and the curled up grown man in the shower. but a doctor is not playing around when they ask you what day it is.

the last thing remembers was talking to her on friday!!! and it’s sunday!!! and he was in his apartment!!! so how tf did he get here???

but he packed a change of clothes… or maybe someone ELSE did?? is it a red herring?? did someone kidnap him???

she quickly finds his gun and TWO ROUNDS HAVE BEEN FIRED???? WHAT!!!

(okay, i knew that was going to happen because i read the episode description, but it’s still wild!!!)

he doesn’t remember anything at all… and she sits down to explain he needs to go to the hospital now

“possibly the early stages of encephalitis”, she says, and oh man, i don’t even want to google that 

(but i did. eugh...)

“if this is an aneurysm, it can drop you in a second” <- she is telling him to listen tf up and GO TO A HOSPITAL NOOOOOOOOOW!!!

OHHHH HE FINDS SOMEONE NAMED AMY’S KEYS!!! WHO IS AMY?????

so he drove here and checked into the motel on saturday…. and there is a car is filled with blood in the parking lot!!!!! with a registration citing amy and david.

oh my GOD he won’t go to the hospital DUDE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??? YOU COULD LITERALLY DIE AT ANY SECOND, WHAT GOOD ARE YOU GOING TO BE IN AN INVESTIGATION WHERE YOU’RE BARELY EVEN THERE??? WHY DON’T YOU THINK SCULLY CAN HANDLE IT ON HER OWN?? GODDAMN IT, LET HER TAKE CARE OF IT, I’M SICK OF YOUR BULLSHIT, YOU ARE JUST GOING TO BE A HINDRANCE TO ANY PROPER INVESTIGATION, YOU PISS ME OFF.

okay.

there are tons of photos with faces cut out??? carefully cut out by some guy who is dripping blood onto them. which is... unpleasant.

ohhhh they show up at amy and david’s house and the housekeeper doesn’t know where they are… this is not an auspicious sign. he asks to look at a painting?? maybe he went to the place in the painting before???

he knows this house… but he doesn’t know why. it’s the house amy grew up in and it’s ALL SHE PAINTS???? which is absolutely wild. they go into a room where she’s painted it over and over and over countless times. i mean, i appreciate, having a muse but this was just next level dedication.

it’s near his old summer house!!!! see, i knew rhode island would be relevant. 

scully is driving him around in his big leather jacket. they find the house, which is very much falling apart, BUT HE WINCES AND GRABS HIS HEAD!!!! OH GOD!!!

he’s getting visions from childhood of his parents screaming about orders, and it not just being him, and YOUNG CSM (!!!) it must be from when they learned samantha was going to be taken as insurance that his father wouldn't expose the project, and it caused his parents to divorce 

he wakes up on the ground with scully over him (ohhhhh…….) and she carefully props him up. and it was “some kind of clonic event” 

my heart does flips when she is doctoring. but don't worry about that.

“i feel… really… good right now” <- LMAOOOOO actually the funniest possible thing you could say after such an event happening 

but he proceeds ahead with investigating the house

ohhh the score is spooooky and suspenseful… oh my god, scully finds someone with a gunshot wound in her heart!!!!!!!!!!! it must be amy!!! and her husband who is dead nearby!!!!!

then who tf was the guy cutting out the pictures!!!!

the cops have arrived, and they want to speak to mulder, but scully says she refuses “to believe that you had any part in this” (and that’s what a bestie is for)

the detective is clearly not believing that the first time mulder saw the victims was when he walked into their house with their keys that he somehow had. which yeah. okay, it does look bad. but listen. sometimes things look bad that aren’t in reality.

scully refuses to let them take him down to the station!!! he is getting his ass to the hospital NOW!! even if the police take him, okay??? he is going there.

YEAH, YOU TELL THEM!!!!!

and scully wants to take a look at the bodies. she tells mulder do NOT say anything else to the cops. somehow i don’t think he will follow this advice.

scully has her doctorly gear on and oh. she’s snipping something from amy’s head. oh god. hole. in her head. not from gun. whewwww.

NASTY. NASTY BAD. shoutout props team, i repeat as my grounding mantra. do you think the actors ever gagged filming this stuff?

that was a lot. she wants two examinations on her and to know WHY they died. 

head. hole. not good. 

mulder has a bandage on his arm indicating he must have been discharged from the hospital, and his he's laying his head on the table as detective curtis brings him a paper bag. mulder looks very sad.

at first i thought the detective was bringing him lunch, which would be a surprisingly thoughtful gesture, and perhaps indicate a shred of humanity in him. but no. he says that what is in the bag reveals that mulder knew the victims AND that they were shot execution style with his weapon!!!

it’s his bloody shirt… the bloody shirt from before. with both of the victim's blood on it!!! 

oh man… he explains that he does not remember but then he gets read his miranda rights…. NOOOOOOOOOO MY BOY

he has his hands cuffed and is in the bright orange jumpsuit :( free him!!!

but scully comes in and says she’s going to get him out of there!!!! “you’re a doctor, not a lawyer, scully” <- mulder, heed my words: do not doubt her power.

wow… times have changed. scully had to explain what ketamine was to detective curtis. because it was in amy’s blood. had it aired today, we would not need such a disclaimer.

he's baffled because ketamine is a veterinary drug and hey, mulder? why the hell do you know that.

(ohhhh, he probably learned it in mind school back in oxford. i was wondering if he was the kind of rich where he had horses, and therefore knew about their treatments)

detective curtis sucks. they find k in mulder and he doesn’t even give a damn. rude as hell.

(he does that gesture with his head that means “let’s talk away from the others”) "scully, you don’t have to do this” <- LIKE SHE WOULD EVER *NOT* DO THIS???? AND JUST LET HIM SIT IN JAIL????

ohhhhh she straight up tells the detective that he’s jailing an innocent man…. read him for filth!!!!!!

WAIT!!! one of the other cops is the one who was cutting out all of the photos!!!!

he pulls out a gun and fires?? hey man. what's going on.

it takes medical scully .5 seconds to determine that he is dead. and this guy also has that mark on his head that amy had!!!

this officer, now deceased, had become a joke for believing in aliens and other such creatures. scully says that the cutting himself out of the photos speaks to mental illness… and she finds a magazine of abductees with amy on the cover!!!

so both amy and this other officer had a deep puncture wound that went to their brain, and she thinks that they knew each other…

mulder is writhing about on the prison floor, while he recalls CSM and his father arguing, and fleeing to find samantha. and he remembers his mother beating on his father’s chest, yelling “not samantha, not samantha”…. then he shakes on the bars and screams for the guard!!!!!!!

he spent all night demanding to talk to scully!!!! and he just recently shut up!!!! wow!!! that's determination!!!

he’s sitting in the prison cell… “i heard you didn’t get much sleep”, she says when she walks in.

and this make me so emotional. she wants him to be okay SO badly, and they do this thing where they act like everything is totally fine and chill when things couldn’t be worse, and it makes me teary. they're trying to preserve normalcy, but doing so with a grin as if to say, what even is normal anymore? it's part of their whole "saying so much with so little" th

he says he did not kill those people, and she believes him, and she’s gathered enough proof to support that. OKAY DETECTIVE!!!!!

the blood splatter on the shirt doesn’t match the point of entry of the bullets!! so then how did the blood get on there????

scully theory time: amy believed she was an abductee, and perhaps she had contacted mulder. and her repeated house paintings were evidence of the treatment she was undergoing. 

she believes they were suffering from “waxman-geschwind syndrome” (i love that she knows this <3), which leads to vivid dreams 

it is also called dostoyevsky syndrome because he had it!!! fun facts with scully <3

but now he needs to know why he was there and why he didn’t stop the violence with amy and david, because he’s mulder and of course everything is his fault. but also, i don’t blame him, because i would feel the same way if i learned something horrific happened in my presence and i could not recall it.

she has arranged for his arraignment, and scully parks haphazardly in the parking lot of the psychologist’s office where amy was receiving treatment. and they find his car!! covered in dust!!

they go to speak with dr. goldstein, who says he hasn’t met mulder before. 

dr. goldstein uses light and sound to access repressed memories, which sounds evil. “it’s unconventional but it’s not invasive” <- girl what would the FDA say?!?!?

(this show relies an awful lot on repressed memories. how do you even know if you have any of those?)

the doctor insists that he is very ethical and seems deeply offended at their implications that what he does is morally unsound, but scully looks deep into his eyes and said “i know what you do”…. ohhh girl what do you know!!!

OH!! mulder remembers coming here WITH amy!!! so the doctor totally lied to their faces. and scully says he GAVE amy and mulder the ketamine, and whatever else he did started the blackouts and seizures

see, this is interesting, because now we know that ketamine can be useful in medical treatment of mental illness, but clearly dr. goldstein was just playing mad scientist.

she asks why tf he would undergo those treatments, but bam!!! more mulder doubled over in pain, recalling his parents fighting. he falls to his knees

“i’m fine” “no, i’m not going to take that for an answer. you do not belong at work. you need to be somewhere where you can be monitored” <- YES TELL HIM!!!!!!! stop messing around!!!

(everyone cheered)

the height difference here is super visible and it looks almost like a foot between their heads and it’s soooo <3

“you are a danger to yourself and a danger to me” <- OHHHH yes. convince him to do it for your sake if he won't do it for himself.

OHHHH BUT HE DOESN’T WANT THE SYMPTOMS TO STOP!!! he says he’s remembering what happened after his sister was taken away!!

well, maybe we can remember from a hospital bed?

he asks for the car keys and she keeps refusing, and just when i think she’s going to give in and let him have them, she says they can go to his mom's house, “but i’m driving” and that’s right queen you do NOT let that man behind a wheel!!!!!

off to his mother’s house

surprise mulder visit!!! he is barreling right in. she seemed so happy to see him... but this changes.

“you’ve kept things from me, you’ve kept secrets from me” ohhh she asks scully wtf is wrong with him…

HE SAYS THAT TAKING SAMANTHA WASN’T THEIR CHOICE??? he wants to know what happened that night and he doesn’t want scully to hear…. damn, that’s crazy 

so they go in a room and he ACCUSES HIS MOM OF CHEATING ON HIS DAD WITH CSM??? okay, so i thought i was seeing hints of this in the past, but like. they could have just been friends, so i didn’t think that much of it. clearly there was some sort of fondness, the genre of which is yet to be determined.

he’s saying that she betrayed their family to do so, and she SLAPS HIM ACROSS THE FACE!!!

“who is my father?” “what do you want, to kill him again?” <- OH MY FUCKING GOD????

(this is absolutely WILD because we know how much of a momma's boy he is, how he hugs her and tucks her in bed and kisses her forehead and has doted on her ever since her stroke; to hear him say all of this is deeply shocking and indicative of how unwell he is)

she says she won’t answer any more questions and he’s bleeding from the forehead…. 

he snuck out and took the car??????? LEAVING SCULLY IN HIS MOM’S HOUSE?????

what are they supposed to talk about!!!!!!!!

he rolls up to dr. goldstein's office and asks what he did to him. 

“i did nothing wrong” “you put a HOLE in my HEAD” <- medical malpractice lawsuit is loading, but that line delivery killed me

turns out he put a hole in his head to electrically stimulate his brain?? and mulder says to do it again???

absolutely nothing should ever touch your brain imo, but what do i know?

he shoots mulder up with some k and lays him down, straps him into a contraption and turns it on. 

it seems he remembers his mother being choked?? but you can’t tell by who because everything is so distorted. WHO HURT HER??

now goldstein is strapping him down even more, and putting ANOTHER HOLE IN HIS BRAIN (!!!), and it’s reminding me of that terrible drill from scully’s abduction that kept inching closer and closer

when a ton of cops show up to arrest goldstein!!! he leaves behind a bloody seat, but no mulder??? where did he go!!!!!

scully is here now too and goldstein wouldn’t snitch so scully is off to question him. 

HOLY FUCK he won’t answer so she straight up GRABS HIM!!!!! until he says mulder said he was going to “exorcise his demons” 

(she was wild for that one but also entirely understandable. you don't lay hands on him around her and walk away unscathed)

SO HE GOES BACK TO RHODE ISLAND??? where the events of that particular evening that keep being replayed again and again in his head went down.

the house is surrounded by cops, and she explains that the officers must NOT SHOOT, and he needs immediate medical care, and she is going in, so watch tf out.

it’s so so so quiet as she walks in…. she starts to yell his name and he says “leave me alone, scully” (he's out of his mind but could still recognize her voice... something touching there)

she opens the door and he’s in some kind of trance??!

WHAT THE FUCK HE HAS HIS GUN????? near his mouth. oh no. oh no oh no oh no.

(the hallucination cgi that gets cut between these very serious scenes almost makes me giggle)

he turns the gun on scully and says “GO AWAY” oh my fucking god…

“are you going to shoot me, mulder? is that how much this means to you?” (he nods)

he’s not himself he’s not himself he’s not himself he’s not-

she tries to tell him that he’s on powerful drugs, and he doesn’t even know if those memories are his, and this isn’t the way to the Truth, and put down the gun, but then he FIRES TWO SHOTS???

the police are rushing in, and he is still firing!!!!!!!!

he shot them all into the window?? or wall or something??? and he slumps over

and she rests her body on him oh my GOD. oh my GOD.

the vulnerability there of her shielding him with her whole body while he relives his worst memories (that may or may not have actually happened) in a hallucinogenic haze....... her need to heal him... and his need to protect her coming through even though moments before he was ready to kill her......... hold on. we need to think on it.

we end with a scully episode wrap up, which i feel we haven't gotten in a while. she says he was cleared of wrongdoing, but he still has no recollection of what went down that night. and his seizures have subsided. 

“but i’m concerned that this experience will have a lasting effect. agent mulder undertook this treatment hoping to lay claim to his past- that by retrieving memories lost to him, he might finally understand the path he’s on. but if that knowledge remains elusive, and if it’s only by knowing where he’s been that he can hope to understand where he’s going, then i fear agent mulder may lose his course, and the truths he’s seeking from his childhood will continue to evade him… driving him more dangerously forward in impossible pursuit”

(fade to black)

SO WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT.

hold on. there are a MILLION things to unpack here.

this episode really solidified to the utterly batshit lengths he is willing to go to try and reach the truth, to the point beyond self-destruction into like, self nuclear annihilation. like we just need to let that sink in for a second. holy fuck. i mean i KNEW he was haunted and i knew he was tortured and i knew he was going to devote every minute of his life to getting the Truth, but the recklessness with which he does so reached new heights here. he let some guy give him DRUGS and drill into his BRAIN. what the actual fuck bro.

also, what actually happened?? who actually killed those people and put him in their bloody shirt?? it’s left entirely ambiguous. beyond the visuals of CSM, there are no other clues. did the victims end their own lives with his gun after remembering stuff they had suppressed from dr. goldstein’s brain tickler??? or was he poorly framed? and if so by who and how and why??

and also. he thinks his dad might not be his dad???? can you IMAGINE him knowing that it is CSM’s blood in his veins??? holy FUCK bro. his mother seemed DEEPLY offended so i don’t feel like that is actually the case but you never know with these things. i'm going to assume those were the drugs talking because we know how much he loves his momma, but for that chilling thought to even enter his head, god, the turmoil and self-loathing it must have produced.

and scully… this was a mulder episode, but it also really was her episode. her doctoring, her sleuthing- she gets him out of trouble that someone worked overtime to get him into by discounting all of the evidence carefully constructed against him- her putting her foot down and saying get to the hospital, i'm not going to stand by and let this keep happening, and then putting herself in front of the gun for him, risking it all to try and bring him back from the brink. her covering him with her own body, holding him down, being there for him as he witnessed his demons dancing in from of him.

her grabbing goldstein by the neck, saying she will not lose anything else, not after so much has been taken from her; dammit she’ll grab what she has left and sink her claws in, and help who gets between her and her loved ones, be it a shitty detective or a grand murder conspiracy, because she’ll calculate the most efficient way to tear everything to the ground and then hold steady in the ruins

wow. need to sleep on this one for sure. it went absolutely CRAZY. but again, s4! it’s so dark! where is the laughter??

so, what do i think after approximately 24 hours have passed since i watched this episode? i enjoyed it! my mutual phoebe pointed out how scully is the one who is in charge here, which is a big change from her loss of autonomy that characterizes the rest of the season. and i have to agree. it felt good to watch her in her element, be it solving crime or diagnosing niche psychological conditions or putting her life on the line for mulder. again, it was centered on his demons, but were these not also scully's demons? watching someone she loves lose who they are under the influence of something that cannot be controlled? and the realization that he was desperate enough to consider such a thing an option in the first place? watching her best friend suffer- is that not also a form of torture?

it was nice to see him tortured for a change. it's been a while! and it's so interesting to watch.

so i liked the episode, but i probably wouldn't get down with a casual rewatch. again, a bit too heavy for kicking my feet up and relaxing. but i thought it was very interesting, a fascinating look into both of their characters, and as a whump addict i am deeply pleased.

[necrotic-nephilim]

Tell me why Kara Zor-L is one of my your favs! I'm been meaning to make the jump from the CW show to the comics. Any recommendations?

- @cicero-in-gotham

@cicero-in-gotham oh i would LOVE to!! Kara Zor-L is my darling beloved.

firstly for suggestions, i'll be honest Kara can be... a hard character to read for. you have to slog through a lot of really shitty "male gaze" content to get scraps of interesting stuff. the top comics i'd recommend are

Power Girl: Power Trip

Power Girl Returns

Power Girl (2023)

some people like Harley Quinn & Power Girl. i'll be honest... i did not. and Power Girl (2009) has... ups and downs, is the nicest way i'll say it. but it's also solid for what it is. certainly better than her New-52 content so i can't really complain.

anyhow, i always am enamoured by characters who are disconnected from their "family", especially due to trauma. bc no one really counts Power Girl as part of the Superfamily. and even within the Superfamily if people are talking about the "outcast" of the family, they always say Kon. (which, eh? maybe New-52!Kon but i wouldn't say the main Kon is an outcast, his issues are internal) but to me, Kara far better suites that role. it's one thing to be one of the last survivors of Krypton. it's another thing to be one of the last survivors of your entire *universe* as well. she lost everyone, *twice*.

i adore characters who feel like imposters and Kara is *peak* imposter syndrome. everything about her identity is constructed around not feeling like a "real" Super, or a "real" Zor-L. she has to live with knowing she's on an earth that has Supergirl, meaning they don't need her. she didn't wear the S crest for so long even on her own earth, because she felt like she didn't server it.the only thing she feels like she has going for her is her sexual appeal and so it's so amped up she lacks a personality outside of it. she has been isolated again and again by her trauma and she struggles to face her grief, masking with humor and oversexual appearances. i find that to be so interesting. she lost *everything*, twice. and now she's an imposter who will always hold herself at a distance from the Supers because she doesn't want to make them uncomfortable with her existence. she has to live on an Earth and know everyone is... slightly off. she has Clark, but it's not *her* Clark. she has the Justice Society of America, but it's not *her* JSA. and she doesn't have her best friend, Helena Wayne at *all*, because this earth has Helena Bertinelli as Huntress. (unless you count New Golden Age stuff but that's future timeline nonsense)

i find Kara's lack of identity interesting, and the way she just sort of drifts. she has done a lot of things, but lacks a sense of self importance bc she will never view herself as a "real" Kryptonian of this universe. she's just so neat to me. i also love the JSA personally, they're one of my favorite superhero teams, so i love any character connected to the JSA, they're always so underrated.

the Power Girl Special (which is collected in Power Girl Returns) is like, genuinely one of my favorite single issues ever. that comic just lives in my bones. it also has one of the *best* internal monologues i've ever read. something something comics are art. this is cutting some stuff out but just to show you have beautiful the writing is, this is an excerpt from that comic

people tend to think of hatred as love's opposite. but i disagree- i think hatred is just love's sharpened edge. it's the same passion. the same potency, the same intensity. just a different flavor. so no, hatred isn't love's opposite. grief is. grief is the void left behind after something you once loved was violently ripped away. grief is what happens in love's sudden absence. love is when your cup runneth over. but grief is hollow. a chasm. there is no negotiating with grief. it does what it wants to you, when it wants. you will never outgrow or outrun it. but... you can find ways to grow around it. i never got to say goodbye. i was loved, once. i was once loved so much that my life was prioritized above all else. i will never feel worthy of that love or sacrifice. but i'm realizing now that to freeze or falter in the shadow of that love is the only way to fail their sacrifice. i have to live in the light. i can step out into the sunlight, and still carry them with me.

like that is??? so Character to me. she is Everything. i'm just. so unwell over her internal struggles and how she faces the world, i cannot recommend her enough. she means the world to me and that comic has stuck with me since i read it for it's conversation about handling grief. i am begging everyone to be a Power Girl fan i know she's confusing but once you get the hang of her backstory she's so cool i swear-

[gelarshiesprofruitboarder]

i was trying 2 figure out a design 4 old/even older summer n i dont rlly feel like posting it here but. this doodles funny to me so yeah

[burymeinwillow]

Hellooo I didn't see someone asking this before but maybe I'm blind. I was thinking of starting to watch Bonanza and Dr. Quinn. I am interested but I'm a little afraid of how big they are so to speak? I thought asking you what you like about them would be cool? Your posts are so nice!

I love westerns and I don't need romance romance but I am also not feeling the newer series like Yellowstone if that makes sense? So I thought maybe Bonanza and Dr. Quinn would be the ones to try.

Hello!! Both VERY good and fun shows!! But yes both can definetly feel like quite the undertaking, especially Bonanza (looks at the 14 seasons)

If I'm to say what I like about Bonanza we might be here a while and this post will get very long, it is my favorite tv show after all, but I'll try to keep it short! I really overrall enjoy the characters and family aspect of it. All the adventures and situations they get into and how they interact with each other and the people around them. Bonanza is more of an anthology series, where each episode has it's own plot and the series doesn't follow one main plot (well I guess the main plot is following The Cartwrights and the stuff they get into each episode). The anthology-ness of it sometimes might make it easier to watch, cause honestly you can kinda skip around the episodes and seasons and watch the ones that you think sound interesting plotwise if you don't feel like starting from the beginning and watch all the episodes (or if you start at the begining to familiarize yourself with the characters and get tired of watching it in order). But keep in mind this is a long TV show that started in 1959 and ended in 1973, so the show look and feel rather different in the later seasons than in the first ones, but naturally it still follows the same premise. You REALLY do not have to watch all of it in order to enjoy it.

In Bonanza you kinda have everything. You got humor, drama, action, extreme sillyness and more dramatic darker themes and lots of other things and I really like that! there is romance also but it's more like.... what girl is Joe dating this episode and then you never hear about her again. and also

While Dr. Quinn is probably best to watch from the start and work your way through it. It's alot more heavy on the romance side tho (the cheesy campy good kind of romance mind you). It's a very feel-good and sweet TV show that also isn't afraid to get dark and dramatic and also being cheerful. I like it cause it gives me a wierd 90's romance drama nostalgia that I really love along with family drama.

HOWEVER if you feel like trying out some other older western shows that aren't as lengthy as Bonanza and Dr. Quinn, I can recommend these:

The Magnificant Seven (1998-2000)

The Young Riders (1989-1992)

Bordertown (1989-1991)

Little Men (1998-1999)

I also totally understand not vibing with newer shows like Yellowstone! Personally I really don't watch alot of newer westerns cause they feel to gritty for me. I prefer the vibe of the 60's-90's westerns.

[domoriu]

ive had such an…. interesting day today 😇 anyway how are you all <3