#i cant remember where i got her
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a beta reader left a comment on my manuscript that was basically:
"this story is a waste of my time."
and it's like....
i have thick skin and all, since i've been working with beta readers for a long time, but...
ouch.
thanks, i guess. helpful.
#like#alright?#tbh beta readers have been driving me nuts lately#finding good ones has been a real headache#bc i specifically tell people im not looking for line edits#and all they do is line edits#i ask them to focus on the plot#and they say yeah ok#but then they do like grammar checks#and its like#this story is in an early draft form#i do not need grammar checks#and i told them that#but no ones listening to that lol#well at least people are kinda trying to be friendly tho#this one particular beta reader#christ#i cant remember where i got her#i doubt its tumblr#the people ive dragged from here have been friendly if not helpful#she feels like#someone i found on reddit methinks#also i dont think her criticisms make sense#like im open to criticisms i really am#ive already changed a lot of my opening stuff#but this particular beta reader man#shes constantly complaining that shes confused but#no one else whos read that section has been confused#i wonder if perhaps#our intelligence is not equivalent
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I need to stop drawing them my god
#im kind of posting a lot today but its my BIRTHDAY TOMORROW (said extremely subtlety) and i need to hype myself up#im gonna show some friends slay the princess later. its going to be normal. i wont be weird about it if i draw everyone out tonight#<- lying#we're also gonna do some pottery. it'll be sick#anyways um stuff about the art now#i love paranoid soo much#i got the ending where you get thrown into the void by nightmare and it was extremely cool#poor hero is just trying his best#cold's introduction in razor is also really awesome. its very simple but neat#johnathan sims when i get you johnathan sims#contrarian is also so insecure can we talk about that#there should be more fics about this. “but thats the worst part of us.. thats *me*” no do go on please elaborate on that#i cant find a clip of him saying that but i remember seeing it somewhere. i might have to replay stranger's ending hehe#i dont know if this game is really a good party game honestly#being a visual novel and all#as long as all of the endings they get are cool but not super romantic it'll be fineee#voice of the paranoid#voice of the cold#voice of the contrarian#narrator stp#turtle's art hoard#everything* not everyone#minor spelling mistake spotted!! send her to the construct boys#these arent super polished by the way obviously#the first two took about half an hour each#but the third took over an hour because i couldnt figure out the stupid colors#which is dumb because they're literally achromatic#ok bye for realsies
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do yall see my vision?
#guess who has been reading the jeweler richard LN#im on volume 4 rn#anyway i always thought seigi's crush on tanimoto reminded me of watanuki and his feelings for himawari#i would also put them in the same category of 'hetero-bait' so to speak where they introduce a 'female love interest'#and then later establish her as not a romantic choice for the mc and then they're gay instead#its all subtext in xxxholic but man.......its just text in jeweler richard#also when reading volume 2 of JR i was like 'richard reminds me of someone.........' and then i realized its abeno#abeno haruitsuki is like if richard was in highschool and not the lord of sweets#i actually dont remember if ashiyan is that down bad for abeno but i know abeno is bad for him#hes still got that 'i cant leave you alone' energy especially halfway through when sakae starts showing up#seigi and ashiya have that in common too they both have daddy issues#should i have put that instead?#im too lazy to change it#i really need to reread fukimono i miss them so much#abeshiya is like an old friend to me#jeweler richard#nakata seigi#fukigen na mononokean#ashiya hanae#xxxholic#watanuki kimihiro
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#diary#i took a short walk after picking up my package#and i looked up and then saw this lovely lady#she just came out of the forest and just walked right up to me and didnt even smell me before demanding pets#i leaned down to pet her and then she not only did that thing when they stand on the hind legs and buff your hand#she even reached up to me and like put her paws on my leg :((((((#so i had to sit down and she even jumped up on my one knee that was like a bench 😹#she was so so so so so sweet and i spent a good amount of time just sitting on the ground and petting her#i didnt take better pictures bc there were quite a lot of ppl around. like running and walking by.#and like no one cared but i am so socially anxious lol i hate it. i got these at least bc i wanted to remember this moment <3#she is the most cuddly cat i've ever met outside tbh#like she even jumped up on me and wanted pets the same way my cat who knows me does#this lady was a stranger skksks. but this moment made me so happy#it is moments like these im reminded why i stay alive. bc of all the animals i will meet#i cant help but worry abt all animals to the point where ppl hate me lol but this world's humans is not kind to animald#so im really hoping she has a good life :((((( <3333 she has the sweetest soul omg.#im thankful she gaveme this moment and brightened my life tho :')))))#lol mostly moments with animals and nature move my soul and these things are rare for me so i need to appreciate it when it happens
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yay! I drew these quite literally three years ago. dragonheart!milo and raihan! a knight on a doomed dragon hunt being lifted out of his station by a small village medicine man. together they become magic lawyers and overthrow the government
the main details in these do survive into the iterations I’ve drawn (instead of these actual designs I spent time to make el oh el): the “leaf” diamond quilt/gambeson and the plaited coattail for milo, the “atypical” weapons, long coat, and large number of scattered fake gold trims and accessories for raihan. I think I lost raihan the hat and added a cape for milo further down the line because like this their general silhouettes are too similar for my liking lol
#pokemon#swsh#applinshipping#dragonheart AU#gym leader raihan#gym leader milo#leon is the puppet king in this one (I never made a design for him lol. lmao) (its not about him!!!!) (it is just a tiny bit#sonia actually disappeared out to sea like just the year before raihan got sent off too. and the shows up where raihan and milo are later on#as usual the everything between those three are messy in a way that makes every one of them embarrassed to bring it up lmao#if u remember one of the october pieces I did last year. the applinshipping one. yeap thats from this AU too#lmao. also remembering the swordsman AU. in every AU where I bring up a king you can TELL I cant WAIT to get rid of that guy#(its usually leon)#anyways it's not about him this is about raihan and milo!!! iirc everyone in the village knows milo is Something. bc he has literally not#aged at all for four generations#he's like doing his therapy away from the dragon hierarchy out here and raihan crash lands nearby#laughs this is so hallmark movie romance I just realized. except the city girl is trying to#extract her family from the palace before stealing the declaration of independence#oh yeah the AU is named that Specifically because the 'artifact' the whole plot runs around is supposedly a 'calcified' heart of a dragon#and the magic lawyer part is so raihan will seize the right to the throne by haha. winning a living dragon's heart instead#I'm actually surprised I remember this much abt this AU lmao it's literally been three years! I don't even remember what Im#supposed to do tomorrow#it's gettign a USB stick isnt it. Im doin a canadian horror triple feature with the senpai#I gotta remember that. well I remember This so. maybe there's a chance#man there are actually a number of applinshipping things I wanna draw... theyre my Fuckin BoyS#well! there's this at least. have a good night lads! I'll have cake soon#it's time to put cinnamon in things.
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started stardew valley for the first time. born to remember villager likes and dislikes forced to immediately forget it the moment i take my eyes off thw wiki
#HELP. HEEEELPP <- THE FORGETTER#i have 18 different tabs open and im pretty sure half of them are duplicates. i have not made anything past 5000G i am so cooked#rn im at summer 11 ish?? i cant remember dates in real life either jesus christ GRIPPING THE COMMUNITY CALENDAR WITH MY BARE HANDS#my ass really went into this like “ill just take it easy and go into it blind so i get the newborn baby deer experience" completely ignoran#to the fact that i get anxious disappointing ppl and not having any background knowledge going into smth new. like a FOOL#also the walking speed is just slow enough to make me space out and forget where i was going and what i needed to do head in my hands#ive had to backtrack all over pelican town so many different times im in fucking adhd hell. resource management hell#im saying this like i hate it but its actually pretty fun and engaging when im not gripping my head trying to remember what i was doing#i got linus' 2 heart event and it made me whimper a little. LINUSSS LINUS I LIKE HIM. AND WILLY AND MARNIE THEYRE SO NICEYS#marnie kinda like.. reminds me of my friends mom even her face is pretty similar. shes sweet i like her. also willy calls me lad hes cool#i think im just gonna start a new save and NOT rely on the fucking mixed seed forages bc my ass was too stubborn to buy seeds#i just got sebastians 2 heart event too ughhh ive never had to work so hard for an emo boys approval. but it was satisfying#corn will fix me. its a replenishable summer-fall crop corn has to fucking fix me PLEASE#i also. made a stardew valley farmer. the one im playing as. their name is cosmo they have a backstory and everything im making#him a ref. his backstory is so fucking funny just wait#yapping#diary#puppy plays sdv
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my n1 guilty pleasure is thinkin that post m2 lauretta moved deeper into criminal after several years & ended up sentenced to jail somewhere in the middle of 1970s
#sorry... had to say it. maybe i just want her to run a brothel&etc somewhere out of empire bay and#giving interviews and shit and she's in her 60+s. and ofc it's a furor. and she enjoys it (more than?) a bit#yk i just was writing texts for SC for m2 women some time ago#and im sorry .. in my delusional head if she got the chance to be in charge; havin the same amount of power#as carlo she'd be so much worse than him (<- here it means better i suppose)#i mean if she'd end up in criminal ofc she cant have an equal position it's clear etc#i just enjoy her being cruel and having no morals. why to let go all this#m2#also it'd be funny if eddie & lauretta'd keep in touch. both end up in jail#i need her to cause a furor genuinely. M4 could be if not exactly bout her#(i'm mentally bargaining w 2kczech) but at least takin place in her area of control#i remember some1 made a post like evil women in mafia series when#Here she is. Here's the woman#sorry. i may be cringe but i had to say it bc i sometimes think bout it since spring#michelle gurevich makes me think bout lauretta its like a ring bell for Pavlov's dogs#Where is this tt sound. “I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! i dont care about homeless fucking people!”#<- lauretta in my eyes#i also need her w wrinkles n greying hair so bad. im a weak person. im lying i need everything above so bad#*picture of a cat w wet eyes*
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crazy how ive been seeing people absolutely losing their minds over the way amy is written in the generations remaster and how she was character assassinated and her crush on sonic was removed and im playing it right now and the literal first thing she does when you free her from white space is call sonic cute which is nowhere close to what she said in the original. wtf are you people on about
#and after that she was like ''omg you got me a ring ? wait thats not the kind of ring i was hoping for..'' or something along those lines#which i cant remember if that was in the original or not but either way . what do you MEAN they got rid of her crush .....#i havent played much though so maybe her crush really was toned down in certain areas but even if it was ..........................#1. why would that be character assassination why do you want her feelings for a boy to be her primary character trait so bad#2. like i said in the post theyve literally added a reference to her crush where there wasnt one originally#i dont think theyre trying to erase it. i think you guys are just getting mad over nothing .#sonic x shadow generations#sxsg spoilers#and like i agree to an extent that a lot of the rewrites feel unnecessary#and im not particularly a fan of the idea of them altering the story content of an existing game#but the stuff with amy feels like a massive overreaction#is it just so/namy shippers who think sonic and amy have to be together or the world will end who are talking like that.#because i wouldnt be surprised if this was the case
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This is my first time on Tumblr so I don’t know exactly where to send art for WWW. I hope this is the correct place, I drew MC before being isekaied (at her first day at work) and after. I hope you like it!
AHHHHH MY GIRLLLLLL SHES SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!!! HER HAIR.... THE DRESS..... THOSE EYES.... IM SOBBING THIS IS SO GOOD???? my beloved loser she is so amazing oh my god thank you so much!!!!!
#sophie speaks#sophie answers#series:www#ALSO I AM SO SO SO FUCKING SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER#i promise you i wanted to answer this ask like 4 seperate times#your art... your art....#sobbing wtf#like shes got that aura of kindness so much??#also weirdly this is how ive imagined her?? like the colouring??? especially w the weird brown/yellow eyes#obviously shes reader she has whatever face she wants but like when im setting up the physicality of a scene#where everyone sits in a conversation and what not#this is like placeholder mcgee www reader#shes so........... the hand warmers the planet shirt like its all so homey and friendly and full of that warmth she has#this girl is a FRIEND#AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#i cant remember if ive shown this to my mum ive gotta make sure to do that#yall are so talented and cool wth#i gotta write more... chpt 8 i will slay thee
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One of my favourite parts of D&D is the complete self indulgence you can put into every character. My friend wanted to play a rebellious teenager raised by her cool older brother who she modelled herself after (ranger, hunter, big flirt.) and then I get to take that and make him a kind and casual unwilling leader figure and also a cult survivor who had to leave his sister to come back to save her later and ALSO an aroallo whore
#d&d#shark bait#mair saeth#ridigan saeth#i gotta draw him he's so fun#and also like. just how playing at the table you make so many decisions.#i was so scared to play this character#then my player starts acting like the bratty teenager she was the last time she saw him#and i remember that HE was ALSO a teenager and she probably GOT IT ALL FROM HIM#so then we just end up playing out a sibling dynamic where they're bitching and bullying each other one moment#then saying they love each other while trying to act cool like they dont care#and i LOVE THEM I LOVE MY PLAYERS SO MUCH#all the npcs they give me are such a treat#oh gifted child artificer who's hubris led her to invent the gun and go into hiding. i cant wait to play you.#like what a fucking TREAT for my player to say “here's this nerdy socially awkward lesbian my character is totally in love with#but never got to admit it and she thinks she killed her“ and i just get to DO WHAT I LIKE WITH HER FROM THERE HAKSJAJNDK#sorry i gotta stop making my tags longer than my posts hdfskfj
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The Gun's 'n Roses ship from hsr is so yaouri to me. I love seeing fans make both Argenti and Boothill women then give em the most gothic au setting ever, it's so interesting.
#aria rants#just got reminded of that one lesbian argenthill au someone made where its like a-- dark souls type setting???#its one where argenti is a priestess later shunned by the church for falling for the knight boothill and she went off to smwhr#to summon an ancient god i think? for boothill in which case stuff happened and argenti ended up dying and her soul ended up#trapped in the church. boothill also died in battle but cuz of argenti. her soul stayed and the two just meets as ghosts#i remember retweeting that but i cant remember if i bookmarked it too. the art was really pretty!
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sooo glad we live in the universe where twdgs4 was rewritten to be about saving the school instead of the original lis2-esque on the road each-episode-is-a-new-location plot. really dodged a bullet there
dont know if it was due to the cuts and collapsing work environment (no budget for all the assets needed) or what but the school plot is just like the perfect setting for her to end her story. and we really almost got a plot about her.... just trying to make it back to her original house? oof
#my biggest problem with lis2 is that being on the road made a lot of your choices essentially meaningless#like wheres the threat of consequence when you know youll be gone by the next episode anyway?#the kids were originally gonna kick them out permanently.......Nightmare Scenario#the plot of her trying to get back 'home' is so silly honestly like its Just nostalgia/fan bait. convince me otherwise you cant#it makes no sense....she lived right outside a major city... that place is Not safe anymore#it wasnt even safe when she left it 8 years ago girl why would you go back#her finding a place to MAKE a new home and having to fight for it? with a community of her peers who love and respect her? so much better#shes a community leader now :) of a bunch of kids living secretly in the woods just trying to make a safe home for themselves#in a hostile world that wants them dead#love that for her#shes been managing adults since she was 11 and even before that tried to be a voice of reason. at 8 years old. community leader makes sense#s4 is just so narratively sound to me for clems character that i cant believe there was ever any other direction they wanted to go in#every time im thinking about how good s4 is i remember what it almost was......... and i am so grateful we got what we did#not only do we live in the universe where s4 is about the school but we Also live in the universe where s4 was un-cancelled :) yay#shit makes me so happy man. i remember clem is living happily at ericsons and my day is Immediately improved#these little fictional bitches in my head giving me free serotonin on command#it speaks#twdg
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it's so fucking good to see you & other anon talking about this, i've been out for 10 years now & on the waitlist for 3 (yay uk 5-10yrs waitlist 🙄) & i'm happy with getting weird double looks or whatever and questions about my name because i can choose which answers i give based on who asks. which feels kinda cowardly? i wanna be that out trans person closeted strangers feel happy seeing, but the way things are going i'm so scared about being On The List. idk if it's real or not but i feel so much fucking shame about not being the most out trans guy ever. like i do my little reblogs and reposts but i'm scared to be seen as *definitely* trans by genpop. & i feel like there's this (maybe self-projection) awkward divide when i'm with other trans people because of my fear and 'chameleoning' - some people are so brave and loudly irl in the community & the world needs to see us visibly existing. and yeah i don't go outside much in general tbf but fuck idk this got off track. tl;dr the shame of being more closeted than i could be is alleviated by seeing other trans+ guys talking about not being The Most Out Ever so ty yeah idk
i applied for this trans+ org's illustration job & my first thought after was 'if i get it that'll make me a target' & my second thought was shame for thinking that, i really thought no other trans+ people would be open to talking about The Fear & Staying Lowkey
the shame aroumd other trans people is REALLLL i literally went to a trans event last year and i felt like an impostor because everyone was so out and proud and they were mostly younger than me too 😭 it felt so weird that at my big age of 28 i was completely closeted. (btw one of the people i met during that trans event is now a quite quickly growing musician and its so weird seeing her on music sites like omg she literally follows me on instagram i talked to her 😭)
but yeah i COMPLETELY get the pivking and choosing who to come out to because i do it not only with my transness but at times with my sexuality too. if im in a taxi with an old man who has a rosary hanging on his mirror and asks me about having a boyfriend im not gonna be like "actually im trans and also i loooove women". and sometimes even in casual conversations if someone assumes im straight and i know this is the only conversation im gonna have with them and i dont wanna prolong it i just let them assume 😭😭
anyways im also getting off track i also thank you because it does feel better knowing that other people struggle with this too. we should make a club of closeted trans guys lmao
#i remember in my trans event being like 'my pronouns are he/him but when we're outside of here its she/her'#and i got like an awkward pause for it but then it was all cool but i cant help but think of that little bump 😭😭#and hey im also on a clinic waiting list but im gonna try and get a bridging prescription#they put me on a clinic in LONDON btw???? which is actually quite far from where i live 😭#but yeah i wanna get on a bridging prescription when i finally get my own place#so i can hide away for a year while i het more masc and then immerge from my cave a new man
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Theory with no coherent proof on my part: brenner only visibly ages rapidly when a portal is open.
#brenner 'dies' very early on after rhe portal opens in s1 so we dont see the effects#but in s4 he looks considerably older.#then in s5 he apparently has a whole bald cap - portal that opened at the end of s4 has been open for approx 1.5 years#theres the tie in to the ptsd/trauma metaphor with the UD representing repressed memories#or repressed memories aka 'lost time' in someone memory#the whole thing where ppl with traumatic childhoods cant remember their childhoods very well and it comes back sooner or later#i wonder if there is a supernatural tie into that in st? like when a portal opens to the UD all that 'lost time' suddenly is allowed back#into the light aka out of the subconscious and into the conscious re flashbacks and memory retrieval#i dont believe NINA at all beyond the flashbacks el has before brenner got involved#bc it seems to me that brenner possibly took advtg of els vulnerable state to possibly manipulate her memory retrieval#which irl has been a long time point of controversy which is psychologists convinving patients that they have memories of trauma#they dont actually have. which idk how valid that is but brenner is a psychologist so if anyone he could find a way#also when the 'lost time' comes back to the surface brenner ages bc of those time loops begin to unravel. the real years brenner has lived#take its toll rather than him de aging as time loops back again to the beginning#very dr who of him. or at least every time he dies its another time loop thats created except from our perspective as the audience we#wouldnt know. because we are only watching from a set linear timeline (1983-1986) and we dont see the time line resetting itself#since all the timelines are similar enough with only small differences ('easter eggs')#tying this into the wheelers- their name literally means 'creator/operator of wheels' aka time loops. so are they The Source?#with the subtext surrounding 'truths' and 'lies' in ST i dont necessarily believe all timeloops are created equal#one must be the 'true' timeline while the others must be 'lies'. aka lonnie saying how people sometimes make things up 'to cope'#that and the heavy subtext behind hawkins being a cursed town. not necessarily anywhere else in the US#and how you can only open portals in hawkins per alexei#makes me thinks these arent legitimate timeloops. like time isnt physically looping back and rerunning events bc otherwise it wouldnt only#affect one small town in indiana. also we dont see the UD/the MF be able to affect time itself but rather ppls perception of time aka#mind control and memories. meaning that could it be time isnt actually looping but rather everyone in hawkins has their memories wiped and#recreated every time there is an inciting incident (which is unknown)#^this doesnt really explain how brenner is able to revive every time he dies unless brenner is actually an admin of this system and lives#'outside' the time loop. so. brenner is a video game character actually whos actual player is blissfully safe from harm outside of the the#computer screen#isnt this just the plot of the matrix. with 'the source' (the central computing core aka the wheelers?) and keymakers etc etc
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Was having so much fun replaying p3p that I forgot that this game is bad lol
#the klock keeps ticking#i gotta get my ranting gear on its happening again#just got to the part where its revealed that shadow experiments happened at the school 10 years prior#and yeah its as badly written as I remember lol#like first off it really is just kinda like ‘ah yes the kirijo group experimented on kids and created the dark hour and we’re being#recruited to clean up their mess’ and the only one who seems to care is yukari but then like#oooh she cant be mad after all cuz her dad was in on it or whatever#and my favorite fucking guy Ikutski is there with a smile like ah yes yes the fucked up shit ah well anyways lets keep fighting lol#and its like briefly mentioned so fucking casually that mitsurus family involved her in this shit and forced her to awaken to a persona#when she was like 8 and you know. now she has to act as a tool to clean up their mess#and it’s like hold up now. why arent we talking about this aaaaaaa just gonna drop that bomb and leave#my favorite fucking part though is like afterwards all the little scenes we get of the characters processing this information#none really seeming to care all that much about the fucked up part theyre just like ‘damn the dark hour is gonna end’#and we get some of that iconic p3 dialogue where characters just look into the camera and explain their trauma before walking away#akihiko just goes up to shinji to be like ‘hey lol remember that we’re both orphans and thats how we know each other and also my sister#anyway Keep Looking Forward™️ bye’ and then fuuka looks into the camera like#‘yes btw my parents have an inferiority complex and thats why they abuse me which is why i dont mind being manipulated’#like she just. says that its so funny this game was written by a toaster#its so frustrating cuz the conflict could be so interesting but they handle it soooo boring and ignore all the parts that shouldnt be#oh mitsuru dont worry ill write you a better game to be in#come to the fat lesbian party where we kill the kirijo group with hammers
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for the past couple years ive been slowly. slowly learning beginners japanese and its very fun and im enjoying it a lot but also it has made me painfully aware in ways i wasnt before of how much my specific vaguely ontario accent makes me make out sloppy style with my vowels. i am going at those vowel's tonsils. i am doing things to diphthongs you wouldnt even believe.
#come and meet the letter people. come and visit the familyyy#literally like i dont mind my ontario accent coming through my japanese thats okay BUT i do care about making sure im saying what#im actually trying to say. and sometimes without realizing my vowels have left off somewhere else in the middle of my word#turning it into some manner of other word. i accidentally said picasso bought the mona lisa instead of painted it the other day <3#i dont mind my mistakes but like. i still wanna do my best!!!!#its blowing my mind though. okay as an anglophone here the only way we'll learn anything about our own language is by#1) just having a natural interest in linguistics in general and/or 2) learning a new language#much to my mothers frustration when she came here in the 70s not knowing any english. even the english speakers couldnt help her#BUT luckily i was both interested in linguistics and learning new languages so i got to learn more things after preschool LOL#but like i remember taking french throughout highschool and being like. wait a god damn minute. i understand english grammer now?#it was bizarre. learning japanese phonetics as well has made me realize what on earth i do with my vowels. actually the entire way i talk#i didnt pay much attention to it but in my head i hear everything as my voice but with perfect north american man radio voice pronunciation#which it turns out. is not what my actual voice sounds like. its not even thaaat different its just different Enough. uncanny valley accent#although the reason i specify vaguely with my vaguely ontarian accent is because#in my area half of the native english speakers say stuff one way and the other half a different way. like within the same neighbourhoods#people always giggle at the way i say bagel. in my head i do picture it as bey-gul. but the second it lease my mouth its become BAG-ul#no one in my familiar says it like that. i dont know where it came from. i cant even stop it. im forever BAG-ul. forever.
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