#she still wants people to be comfortable

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Council of lovefools.

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[dykedvonte]

I think depictions of Anya being cruel to Curly or drawing out his suffering are artful and chilling but completely miss the point of the story and her character.

I'm not saying she doesn't deserve to have that "I told you so" moment with him but not in something callous or cold. Even if that is how it happened, she'd immediately feel guilty cause at that point she's not tormenting her tormenter or even the person truly at fault. She's doing something cathartic, similar to how Jimmy likely hits Curly to release rage he can't against the rest of the crew. She'd see herself as no different when she'd come back from the moment and see Curly cowering at her. She wants someone to take responsibility but how does being cruel to the defenseless help? Why would she want the power Jimmy has over her over Curly?

The idea of her extending someone else's pain is just so against the struggles she already faces and how she can't even bring herself to cause someone pain even to help them. Her very desire is to release herself from her own suffering and I doubt she'd even fine some sort of guilty release in being cruel to another.

[neogotchi]

I've seen a lot of people talk about how scary Brennan's description of B² dying was but I don't see it that way at all.

yes, Evan killed her on a snap decision with no hesitation. no he does not regret it, because she deserved it for being a horrible bigot and hurting someone he loves. but he still has a deep respect for human life. he killed her quickly and painlessly, she didn't even have time to realize she was dying. he could have made her suffer but instead he describes her death in a sort of tender way.

"a silent custodian walking the halls, turning the lights off one by one. like someone putting a house to bed" these are gentle things he's describing. a soft goodnight as he leaves

[yardsards]

im like the lorax when it comes to women's body hair. we should let it grow.

[napping-sapphic]

yeah, my life can just get so tough😔 (constantly in the mood to flirt but too shy and easily embarrassed to flirt with anyone)

[hplonesomeart]

Hey. Sorry about the inactivity, but pretty sure no one cared that much anyways lol. Been a looooong time since I kept that distant from Tumblr…at least now I know I’m able to survive without checking posts every day/being chronically online! I’ve got an intense love-hate relationship with this lifestyle I’ve dug myself into. Think I’m getting a little bit better with the balance even if school isn’t really giving me an option. Got a load of work I need to keep catching up on if I don’t want to disappoint my professors. We’ll survive somehow. Here take a quick batch of Puzzle doodles k bye

[fromtheseventhhell]

Remember George's outline notes that had "joy of giving" and "mercy at the gate" for Arya? Mercy is crossed out and we obviously have that as her sample chapter, so what if Arya's next alias is "Joy"? Over-thinking the significance of that phrase and how it could apply to the rest of her Braavos arc🤔

[nyatbinary-81]

@vulpixisananimal sifstem art jumpscare!! more specifically i got bored and decided to mess around with sif and mal's outfits.

[partywithponies]

For me a core feature of Galex's relationship is that Alex wants to be seen as strong and unflappable and respected and always in control, right. And Gene wants to be seen as a kind of unquestioned alpha male in charge who never shows any weakness and who deserves the blind respect and obedience of the rest of the team even when he yells at them and verbally abuses them. And they do see each other that way, to some extent. But they also both know that to some extent all of that is bullshit, because they've willingly allowed each other to look deeper.

Because, see, to me another key fact about them is that Alex actually really likes being looked after, and Gene actually really likes having someone to look after, and this is each of their deepest and most personal vulnerabilities that they only really show to each other.

And then almost never directly and outwardly acknowledge, because that would mean acknowledging their own secret hidden layers.

They're perfect for each other. But they're horrid for each other because they're both equally shit at communicating or admitting weakness.

This is a long rambling post I just have a lot of thoughts. I just love them.

[bumblingbabooshka]

B'Elanna, Neelix, Tuvok and Chakotay needed to star in an episode where they just talked about their different beliefs and approaches to spirituality/religion. Paired off and all together. I need to gain more insight. I need characterization and I need it to be messy.

[mangofanarts]

Tallulah asking Bad if she could spend more time with him another day! Since she's going to bed

[ickypuppi3]

Lucas On The Line // “For instance, the clothes she's been wearing lately have been... unusual. Old and oversize, and not in a good way. They remind me of Will's clothes, how he was always wearing something of Jonathan's, or even Mrs. Byers's.”

[tulpar-transmissions]

i love having to pretend to hate myself. i love not being able to tell people to stop talking about me like that. i love people telling me to my face what awful things they wish would happen to me. i love sitting here and typing out my own brutal deaths because i can't tell anyone who i am. i love having to pretend because everyone sees me as subhuman. /sarc

[sukibenders]

A female artist/celebrity: Hey, while I'm really happy for all the support you guys as my fans have shown me, can we please establish some boundaries? Some things are starting to make me uncomfortable. Again, I'm grateful but--

Said people the response was aimed towards: Oh so now she thinks she's too good for us? She's so ungrateful, letting all the fame get to her head. Doesn't she know that without us, she wouldn't be as famous? She should just suck it up!

[chemzee]

So uh. MelDan ammirite? This (kinda) blew up on Insta and other socmed I use so ig I'mma upload this here too lol

It started as a crackship (and it's still is, I kinda like to jokingly them imagine them pretending to like each other but actually wanting to skin each other alive, a little ooc for both of them, but it's mostly just for fun) but rn I'm exploring the potential ""relationship"" through a more angsty lense.

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