#a quiet acknowledgement of life before moving on
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promptedwordsmith · 3 days ago
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Might I HUMBLY request Xavier x reader where he’s all pouty because you’ve been busy with work and ignoring him and you accidentally raise your voice at him because he keeps trying to speak to you but ur busy and he starts crying. Yup. I’d like to order that meal please I live for crybaby Xavier 🏃🏽‍♀️💨
Hi! I love this I put my spin on crying Xavier because he is my no.1 pookie and he seems to me like the type that cries whe he annoyed or feels wronged (because I do)
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Xavier sat on the couch, arms crossed over his chest, glaring at the back of your head as if he could will you to turn around and finally look at him. He had been patient—remarkably patient, in his opinion—but after hours of watching you hunched over your computer, completely ignoring his presence, his patience was wearing dangerously thin.
He had tried everything to get your attention. At first, he’d settled for subtle tactics: stretching exaggeratedly, sighing loudly, shifting on the couch in a way that made the leather creak just enough to be noticeable. When that failed, he moved on to more obvious methods, like standing behind you, resting his chin on your head, and wrapping his arms around your shoulders in what should have been a distraction too sweet to ignore.
But you hadn’t even flinched.
So now, he was pouting.
Xavier would never admit to pouting, of course, but that was exactly what he was doing. His lower lip was slightly pushed out, his silver brows were drawn together in a frown, and he was sinking lower and lower into the couch, his entire body exuding sulky displeasure.
How long had it been now? Two hours? Three? He was certain it had been at least half the day.
His fingers drummed against his knee. Maybe he should just grab your laptop and toss it across the room. That would get your attention. Or maybe he should act like he was in grave distress—clutch his chest, groan dramatically, collapse onto the floor. Surely that would get you to look at him.
Instead, he settled for the next best thing.
With all the grace and stealth he possessed, Xavier slid off the couch, crawling onto the floor until he was sitting directly beside your chair. His head tilted up as he stared at you, waiting for even the smallest reaction.
Nothing.
He scowled. "Are you planning to stare at that screen all night?"
"Mmhm," you hummed, not even sparing him a glance.
His frown deepened. "You do realize I’m here, right?"
Another vague noise of acknowledgment.
Xavier narrowed his eyes. He had been ignored before, sure, but this was just unfair.
And now, he had made it his mission to break your focus.
Xavier, determined as ever, let out a small sigh before lifting his hand. His Evol hummed to life, and the glow of your laptop screen flickered, dimming until it was barely visible. Then, with a subtle flick of his fingers, the display distorted, the text shifting and swirling like ink in water.
You let out a frustrated groan. "Xavier!"
He blinked up at you innocently. "Yes?"
"Please! I need to get this report done. I'm not getting behind on work because you want attention!"
In your frustration, you snapped the laptop shut with more force than intended before throwing it open again, fingers immediately resuming their frantic typing. Your words were sharp, harsher than you meant, but at that moment, all you could focus on was meeting your deadline.
You didn’t notice the way Xavier's eyes widened slightly, the way his usual playful demeanor stiffened ever so slightly. You didn’t notice how he stared at you, as if seeing something he hadn’t expected.
What you did notice was the quiet click of the door.
Not a slam, not an angry exit—just a calm, deliberate departure. The sound, barely loud enough to be distracting under normal circumstances, echoed in your mind like a deafening crack.
Your fingers froze on the keyboard.
Oh.
You exhaled, a sharp pang of guilt settling in your chest as the weight of your own words replayed in your mind. You hadn’t meant to snap. You hadn’t meant to push him away.
But you had.
Xavier was never demanding. He was persistent, sure, but never unreasonable. And now, instead of arguing or pouting, he had simply… left.
You swallowed, glancing toward the door.
Would he come back if you waited? Maybe he just needed air. Maybe you were overreacting.
But then you thought of his expression before he left—the quiet hurt hidden beneath the usual calm.
With a sigh, you pushed your chair back, standing up. Work could wait. Xavier, however, shouldn’t have to.
You hesitated outside Xavier’s apartment, the weight of the cookie container in your hands suddenly feeling heavier than it should. The trip up here had felt longer than usual, your own guilt dragging your steps.
You took a breath. Just apologise.
Slipping inside, you expected to see him sprawled out dramatically on the couch, maybe with a pillow over his face, sulking like a cat deprived of attention. Instead, what you found made your stomach twist.
Xavier was sitting on the couch, his body angled toward the window, bathed in the cold glow of the city lights. The usual warmth he carried was nowhere to be found. He was still, too still.
You stepped closer, keeping your voice light despite the nervous flutter in your chest. "Okay, okay, I get it. I was a little harsh, but you were being insufferable—"
You stopped.
Even in the dim lighting, you could see the quiet tears slipping down his cheeks. He wasn’t sobbing, wasn’t making a sound, but the sight was somehow worse. He looked like he wasn’t even aware he was crying, like his emotions had bled through before he could stop them.
Your breath caught in your throat. "Xavier…"
You surged forward instinctively, placing the cookies on the table with a soft clatter before cupping his cheeks in your hands. His skin was warm beneath your fingertips, but he didn’t lean into the touch like he usually would.
Instead, he turned his face slightly, firmly ignoring you.
The rejection, soft as it was, stung.
"Xavier," you tried again, thumbs brushing over the damp trails left by his tears. "Talk to me."
Nothing.
His jaw tensed under your touch, and his hands, usually so quick to grab onto you, remained clenched in his lap. The Xavier you knew, the one who teased and pouted and wormed his way into every aspect of your life, felt so distant now.
You swallowed. "I didn’t mean to snap at you," you whispered, your voice softer now, less desperate, more honest. "I was frustrated, not with you—well, okay, maybe a little with you—but mostly with myself."
His shoulders twitched, barely a reaction, but enough for you to see you were getting through.
You took a breath, shifting so you were kneeling between his legs, forcing him to either look at you or go on stubbornly ignoring your presence.
"You can be a pain, you know?" You smiled a little, trying to coax something, anything, out of him. "But you’re my pain, and I was an idiot for pushing you away like that."
Still, silence.
Then, finally, a breath.
"You always do that." His voice was quiet, rough in a way you weren’t used to. "Always throw yourself into things and forget that someone’s waiting for you to look up."
You blinked.
Xavier exhaled sharply, shaking his head as if he was annoyed with himself. "I don’t even know why I…" He trailed off, hands finally moving—but not to hold you. Instead, he wiped at his own face as if frustrated that he had let himself cry in front of you at all.
You felt your chest ache.
There was something heavier in his words, something unspoken. A kind of familiar grief that didn’t make sense in the context of one small fight.
But that was a question for another time.
Right now, you just wanted him to know he mattered.
So you leaned in, pressing your forehead gently against his. "I’ll look up more," you promised, closing your eyes. "I’ll pay attention. I swear, Xavier."
For a moment, neither of you moved.
Then, after what felt like an eternity, his hands finally reached for you.
Not playful, not teasing—just holding on.
Like he was afraid of something.
Like he was afraid of losing you.
Xavier didn’t speak right away. He just held onto you, his hands gripping your arms, thumbs brushing over your skin as if reassuring himself that you were really there. His forehead was still pressed against yours, warm and steady, but there was a hesitance in the way he held you—like he wasn’t sure if you’d pull away again.
You weren’t going to.
Slowly, he exhaled, finally shifting back just enough to look at you properly. His blue eyes were still damp, still heavy with something unsaid, but there was a quiet resolution there now. He lifted your hands from where they rested against his chest, cradling them carefully between his own.
Then, with a gentleness that made your breath catch, he brought them to his lips.
His lips brushed over your knuckles, lingering in a way that made your heart ache. "I need you to be serious about this," he murmured, voice low, but firm. "Not just saying it to make me feel better."
You swallowed, guilt tightening in your throat.
"I mean it," he continued, pressing another soft kiss to your fingers. "I want to spend time with you, and if you’re too busy, then fine—just let me help. If it’s your report, I’ll help you with it. If you’re stuck, I’ll be there." He squeezed your hands gently, his expression open, unguarded in a way you weren’t used to. "I just want to be with you. However I can."
Your heart clenched.
You’d been so focused on your work, so lost in the constant cycle of getting things done, that you hadn’t even considered how Xavier might feel about it. He didn’t just want attention—he wanted to be with you. He wanted to be a part of your world, not just something on the outside waiting for a moment of your time.
You lifted your hands, cupping his face once more, smoothing your thumbs over his cheekbones. This time, when he leaned into your touch, there was no resistance.
"I promise," you whispered.
Then, before he could say anything else, you leaned in and kissed him.
It was sweet, slow—not rushed or desperate, but full of warmth. A promise sealed with something softer than words. Xavier made a quiet sound against your lips, his hands sliding around your waist, pulling you closer.
When you finally pulled back, he exhaled, his usual smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. "You sure you won’t need me to break your screen again?"
You laughed, pressing your forehead to his. "No breaking my laptop. But…" You smiled. "I wouldn’t mind your help next time."
His smirk softened into something fonder, something real.
"Good," he murmured, pulling you in again. "Because I’m not going anywhere."
And this time, you believed him.
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rizzanon · 1 hour ago
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“Cassandra.”
Her name barely carried through the still air, but she didn’t move.
Didn’t flinch.
Didn’t acknowledge the voice.
She sat there, arms wrapped tightly around her knees, her entire body curled inward like she could somehow shield herself from reality.
From this.
From your name carved into stone.
The graveyard was too peaceful.
The world around her was too bright.
The sky was impossibly blue, the kind of endless, cloudless stretch that belonged to better days. The sun hung high, warm and golden, spilling light over everything as if this were just any other afternoon. A soft breeze rustled the leaves in the trees, and the grass beneath her was still damp with morning dew. The air smelled fresh—too fresh.
It was a beautiful day.
And Cassandra hated it.
It wasn’t right.
Why wasn’t the sky dark? Why weren’t the clouds swollen with grief, heavy and suffocating? Why wasn’t there a storm, wind tearing through the city, rain drenching the ground, filling the cracks in the pavement, turning the earth around your grave to mud?
Why wasn’t the world mourning with her?
It should be.
Because this—this wasn’t just another day.
This was the day Cassandra Cain sat in front of your grave, alone in the silence, mourning the loss of you.
You.
The person who was supposed to be her younger sister.
The person who shouldn’t be here—not like this. Not beneath the ground.
A shadow passed over her. She barely acknowledged it.
Duke.
He stood for a moment, just watching her.
Duke hesitated before he stepped closer.
His movements were slow, careful, like approaching a wounded animal.
And maybe that’s what Cassandra was.
He placed a hand on her shoulder.
“You can’t stay here forever,” he murmured, his voice quiet, gentle.
Cassandra didn’t respond. She just nudged his hand away, still staring at your name carved into the stone.
Duke exhaled, long and slow, before lowering himself to the ground beside her.
They sat in silence.
Neither of them wanted to be here.
But neither of them could leave.
Not when this grave was here. Not when it held you.
And it still didn’t feel real.
Duke ran a hand over his face, his fingers pressing into his eyes. He didn’t blame Cassandra for shutting down like this.
Because he was still trying to understand it too.
Duke stared at your name, carved into stone, like if he just looked at it long enough, it would make sense.
But it didn’t.
It wouldn’t.
Your death—
God.
It wasn’t just tragic. It wasn’t just painful.
It was sudden.
It didn’t feel possible.
One day, you were here. And then you weren’t.
And Duke didn’t know how to process that.
He kept thinking—kept replaying everything in his head. The details. The reports. The last time he saw you.
And the same question kept coming back to him, again and again and again.
Why didn’t you call him?
You knew he would have helped you. You knew that.
Right?
You knew he wouldn’t have thought twice.
Right?
Would he have thought twice…?
No, surely not.
Right?
You should have known that.
So why didn’t you?
Why didn’t you tell him what you were doing? Why didn’t you let him back you up? Why did you go after that drug ring alone?
You should have called.
You should have known he wouldn’t hesitate. That he wouldn’t have even thought before coming to help you.
You should have been standing here with him.
Not lying six feet underground.
Duke let out a slow, shuddering breath, staring at the gravestone, his chest tightening like something inside him was caving in.
It wasn’t fair.
None of this was fair.
And the worst part? The part that made him feel sick?
Losing people—he knew what that was like.
He lost his parents.
And now—
Now he had lost you.
And you weren’t just anyone.
You were—
God, you were you.
You weren’t perfect, but you were alive in a way that few people ever truly were.
You had this way of making things feel easier. Not because life actually was easier, but because you had a way of making it manageable. Making it bearable.
And you were stubborn.
God, you were so stubborn.
You never backed down, never walked away, never let things go when they mattered. You fought for people. You fought for him. Fought for yourself.
You weren’t his sister by blood, but blood had never mattered in this family. Not really.
You had been his friend before you were his family.
And now you were gone.
And he was just supposed to accept that you were gone?
That he was supposed to sit here, staring at a piece of stone with your name on it, instead of looking you in the eye and telling you you were a dumbass for going in alone?
No.
No, that didn’t make sense.
It didn’t make sense that you—the person who had somehow become his sister—was just gone.
And he—
He hated this.
He hated this so much.
“What…. do you think her last words were…?”
Cassandra’s voice broke through the silence, small but steady.
Duke’s throat tightened. He barely held back a flinch.
“I… don’t know,” he admitted.
And he didn’t want to know.
Because the moment he let himself think about it.
The moment he let himself wonder what your last moments were like—
He wouldn’t be able to take it.
Had you been waiting for someone to save you?
Had you been hoping for some kind of miracle?
Or had you known?
Had you known you weren’t going to make it?
Had you realized that help wasn’t coming?
Had you been scared?
Duke clenched his jaw and swallowed hard.
He didn’t want to think about that.
He couldn’t—
He couldn’t think about that.
Cassandra didn’t look at him, but she was still staring at your grave, her expression unreadable.
But he knew what she was thinking.
She was blaming herself.
And she shouldn’t.
She wasn’t even in Gotham when it happened. There was nothing she could have done.
But logic didn’t matter.
Because you were dead.
And she hadn’t been there.
Neither had he.
And he was always going to carry that with him.
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Cassandra had learned you quickly.
How you liked your coffee, how you always leaned against walls instead of standing straight, how you tapped your fingers against your thigh when you were thinking.
How you always waited a second longer than necessary before answering a question—like you were testing the weight of your words before letting them go.
You had been sharp, but soft.
Blunt, but kind.
The kindest of them all.
You had been quiet, but so damn loud in the way you existed.
And now—
Now you were gone.
And Cassandra was still here.
And she didn’t know how.
Cassandra didn’t know how to fight that.
Didn’t know how to fight the weight pressing against her chest, the grief that curled around her like a vice. It was strange. Loss was something she should’ve been used to. Death was something she had faced time and time again. It was part of this life. It was part of the job.
So why did this feel so different?
Why did it feel like something was clawing at the edges of her ribs, carving out a hollow space where you used to be?
She had died before. Her heart had stopped beating, her body had given out. But she had been revived, dragged back to life before the darkness could fully claim her. She had cheated death, walked away with a heartbeat that wasn’t supposed to be there anymore.
So why hadn’t that been you?
Why had she gotten to wake up, gasping, with another chance at life—while you had been left to rot in the ground? Why had she been spared while you had been taken?
Cassandra’s hands curled into fists on her lap, her nails biting into her palms as she forced herself to breathe.
It didn’t help.
Her eyes flickered to your name on the gravestone. The letters carved into the stone were so sharp, so permanent. You weren’t coming back. No second chances, no miracles. Just a name, a date, and the suffocating silence of your absence.
She swallowed thickly and let her gaze drop lower.
No flowers.
Cassandra stared at the empty space in front of your grave, and something in her chest twisted. No matter how hard she searched her mind, she couldn’t remember what kind of flowers you liked.
What flowers did you like?
Did you like lilies—soft, gentle, but heavy with the scent of mourning?
Did you like daisies—bright and stubborn, growing even in the cracks of concrete?
Did you like marigolds—bold, striking, impossible to ignore?
She hated that she didn’t know. Hated that she had spent years at your side and still, she didn’t know what flowers to bring you.
It was ridiculous, how something so small—so insignificant in the grand scheme of things—felt like another knife to the ribs.
Cassandra had always been good at reading people. She had always been good at reading you.
And yet—she didn’t know this.
Didn’t know something so simple.
The realization made her stomach twist.
She had memorized the way you carried yourself, the way your fingers twitched when you thought too hard about something, the way you always paused before speaking, like you were testing your words before letting them go.
She knew how you fought, how you moved, how you breathed.
And yet—she didn’t know this.
This was all she knew.
What did you actually like to do?
What did you like to eat?
What was your go-to drink?
Did you drink coffee out of necessity, or was it your favorite?
What music did you listen to when no one was around?
What did you hum under your breath when you thought no one was paying attention?
Did you like the sun or the moon better?
Did you ever have a favorite book? A favorite movie?
Have you ever fallen in love? Fancied a guy or girl from afar?
Everything that a sister should know—she didn’t.
And now, she never would.
Cassandra squeezed her eyes shut, hands pressing against her thighs, fingers digging into the fabric of her pants.
To think—to think—of all the times you had tried to stay by her side.
Of all the times you had tried—tried to connect with her, tried to understand her, tried to make her feel like she belonged in this family—and she hadn’t let you.
She had been distant. Subconsciously pushing you aside. Not because she hated you—no, never because of that.
But because you two were so vastly different.
Because she saw you and thought—you weren’t built for this life.
Because she looked at you and thought—you shouldn’t be here.
You weren’t a killer. You weren’t a soldier. You weren’t someone who should have had to claw and scrape your way through the darkness of Gotham.
You should have had a normal life.
You could have had a normal life.
And maybe, maybe—if she had pushed harder, if she had done more, if she had made you see what she saw—maybe you would have left this life.
Maybe if she had pushed harder, you wouldn’t have ended up like this.
You wouldn’t be here, six feet under, with a name carved into stone and a body lost to the dirt.
Maybe she could have been there.
Maybe she could have saved you.
Cassandra clenched her jaw, her fists tightening further.
No.
That wasn’t even it.
That wasn’t even the truth.
It wasn’t about whether you should have been a vigilante. It wasn’t about whether or not you belonged in this life.
It was about her.
It was about the choices she had made.
If she hadn’t thought she knew what was best for you—if she hadn’t dismissed you before even giving you a chance—maybe things would have been different.
If she had helped you instead of discouraging you—if she had guided you instead of pushing you away—maybe you wouldn’t have felt so alone in this.
Maybe you wouldn’t have felt like you had to prove yourself at every turn.
Maybe you wouldn’t have pushed yourself so far—so recklessly, so relentlessly—that your body had begged you to stop, had screamed at you to rest, and yet, you had ignored it anyway.
Because you had something to prove.
To yourself.
To everyone else.
To her.
And why?
Because she had made you feel like you weren’t enough.
Like you weren’t competent enough, weren’t worthy enough, to stand beside them.
Like you had to earn your place in a way that no one else had to.
And that—
That was what crushed her.
That was what made her stomach churn and her chest tighten, what made her fingers twitch at her sides and her jaw clench until it ached.
Because she had done that.
She had made you feel that way.
And it had cost you your life.
If she had just been there—if she had helped you, taught you, stayed by your side as a sister should, instead of leaving you to figure everything out on your own—maybe you wouldn’t have needed to push yourself to the brink just to keep up.
Maybe you wouldn’t have felt like you had to bleed just to prove you deserved to be by their side. By her side.
Maybe—just maybe—
You would still be here.
She didn’t know where the thought came from, only that it settled deep inside her, heavier than stone.
She should be used to loss. It was part of the job, part of the life they all lived. People died. People left. That was just how things were.
But Cassandra Cain didn’t know how to exist in a world that didn’t have you in it.
Why?
Because your presence had been undeniable.
Not in the way that others were loud—not in the way Dick filled a room with laughter, or in the way Jason made his presence known with his sharp words and sharper gaze, or in the way Tim existed like a shadow, quiet but calculating.
No.
You were present in the littlest ways. The kind of ways that most people overlooked.
But she noticed.
She always noticed.
The way you drummed your fingers against your thigh when you were thinking—not impatient, not absentminded, just… rhythmic, like you were keeping time to a song only you could hear.
The way you always lingered in a doorway before stepping inside, as if you were gauging the room, the people, the atmosphere—like you needed to prepare yourself before crossing the threshold.
The way your shoulders stiffened whenever someone called your name unexpectedly, like you were always bracing for something, like you had learned a long time ago that being noticed wasn’t always a good thing.
The way your eyes softened, just barely, whenever you looked at her.
The way you tilted your head when you were confused, the way you bit the inside of your cheek when you were frustrated, the way your fingers twitched whenever you held back from saying something.
The way you carried yourself—quiet, but never unnoticed. Soft, but never weak.
You had been everywhere and nowhere at the same time.
In the way the floorboards creaked in a rhythm only you walked in. In the faint scent of your shampoo that lingered in the halls long after you passed through them. In the way the air felt just a little different when you were around—charged, like something unspoken was always hanging in the space between you and everyone else.
And now—
Now you were gone.
And the world felt wrong.
Her nails bit into her palms as she exhaled sharply.
The weight in her chest grew heavier, suffocating, pressing against her ribs until she could barely breathe.
She wanted to say sorry.
For not being there when it mattered.
For not being the sister you had wanted her to be.
For all the times you had reached for her and she had turned away.
But apologies were meaningless now.
There was no use in apologizing to a grave.
The dead could not hear the apologies of the living.
And she hated—hated—how it seemed like she just wanted to get rid of the guilt, like this was just another weight on her shoulders that she was desperate to shake off.
It wasn’t that.
It wasn’t about making herself feel better.
But to anyone else, it might seem shallow, like she was just trying to justify her regrets.
And that—
That was when she exhaled sharply, her voice quiet, raw, and firm.
“I failed her.”
Duke stiffened beside her.
“Cass…”
“No.”
She finally moved.
Finally stood.
Her knees ached from kneeling too long, but she ignored the feeling, ignored the way the world spun for half a second before steadying again.
She looked down at the grave—at your name, your absence, the proof that you were really, truly, gone.
“There’s a lot of things I regret,” she admitted, her voice steady. “A lot of things I should have done. A lot of things I shouldn’t have done.”
She exhaled.
“But there is no use feeling this way when—”
She stopped.
When what?
When you were already gone?
When nothing she did would change that?
When no amount of guilt, no amount of grief, no amount of anything would ever bring you back?
Duke watched her, silent, waiting.
And finally—she finished.
“There is no use feeling this way when the only person who could have forgiven me isn’t here anymore.”
Duke inhaled sharply. His lips parted—ready to argue, ready to refute, ready to tell her that it wasn’t her fault.
But he didn’t.
Because she was right.
And they both knew it.
There was nothing either of them—or anyone else—could do.
The damage was done.
You were gone.
And Cassandra would have to live with that. He would have to live with that.
She turned to Duke, her expression unreadable, her body language tight.
Her shoulders were stiff, arms curled inwards, fingers twitching ever so slightly at her sides. A silent scream compressed into muscle and bone, into tension that refused to unravel. Her breath was steady, too steady, the kind of control that only came when someone was barely holding themselves together.
And then, after a moment—
He moved first.
Slowly, carefully, as if giving her the chance to pull away, to reject the gesture before it even landed. But she didn’t.
So he pulled her into a hug—strong, firm, grounding.
A weight. A warmth. A presence she didn’t realize she needed until she was sinking into it.
Cassandra didn’t resist.
Didn’t hesitate.
She didn’t go rigid, didn’t pull away out of habit, didn’t keep that careful distance she always did when she wasn’t sure how to accept comfort.
No.
She closed her eyes and let herself feel.
For the first time in hours. In days. In what felt like forever—she let herself be held.
Let herself be comforted.
Even though she didn’t feel like she deserved it.
Because what right did she have to be comforted when you weren’t here?
What right did she have to grieve you when she had been part of the reason you were gone?
But Duke didn’t let go.
He held onto her like he understood. Like he knew that if he let go, she might just disappear, might crumble into something irreparable, something that grief would consume whole.
So she stayed.
And for now—
For now, that would have to be enough.
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128 hours, 13 minutes, and 27 seconds.
That’s how long it’s been since Gotham fell into chaos. Since the family fell into shambles.
Since you took your last breath.
Tim’s fingers twitched over the console, knuckles pale, hands locked into position as if frozen mid-action. The blue glow of the Batcomputer flickered against his face, casting long, sharp shadows that made the bags under his eyes seem deeper, his expression more hollow.
He hadn’t slept. Hadn’t moved. Had barely breathed.
Because he couldn’t stop watching.
The footage looped again. And again. And again.
Warehouse. Low light. South Gotham docks. Camera angle, elevated—one of Batman’s hidden surveillance feeds.
You moved like a ghost. A shadow.
A blur of motion cutting through the dark.
Tim rewound the footage. Slowed it down. Watched. Memorized. Analyzed.
His eyes were red from the hours of staring at the screen. The footage ran in a constant loop, a ghostly reminder of everything that had gone wrong. He couldn’t stop. He couldn’t look away, even though he knew it wouldn’t change anything. Maybe this time, there’ll be something he missed.
That’s what he told himself.
It was a sickening kind of hope, one born from desperation. He needed something—anything—that would prove this wasn’t just another casualty of the mess they lived in. This wasn’t an accident. He couldn’t let it be an accident. If it was, then what was the point? What was the point of all of this? If it was just an accident, if this was just the way things always were, then what the hell was he even doing here? What was the point of it all?
What was the point of all the fights, the struggles, the years of fighting against the darkness if it could just snuff out a life like that, without any warning? Tim couldn’t accept it.
His heart hammered in his chest as he hit replay again. He didn’t even realize how many times he had watched this same clip. How many times he had gone over it, scrutinizing every frame, searching for something that wasn’t there. There’s something.
There has to be something.
A sign.
A clue.
Anything to prove this was deliberate, something he can blame.
But no matter how many times he watched it, no matter how many hours he spent scrutinizing every damn detail, nothing would change. Nothing could undo what had already been done.
But still, he couldn’t stop himself. He had to watch. He had to know. He had to find the why, the how, the reason behind it.
Why had you gone in alone?
Why hadn’t anyone been there for you?
Why hadn’t he been there?
The rest of the world had moved on, or at least tried to. Gotham was still reeling from the explosion of chaos that followed the takedown of the drug ring you’d infiltrated. The criminals, the ones you’d exposed, some of them were caught, while others were already on the run, their operations disrupted in ways they hadn’t anticipated. The whole damn city had been thrown into disarray because of this.
Tim gripped the edge of the desk, his knuckles turning white, his jaw clenched so tightly it hurt. He felt a knot twist in his stomach, one he couldn’t untangle, no matter how hard he tried. He wanted to blame the criminals. He wanted to blame them for everything. For the sudden rise in crimes. For the sudden disarray in Gotham. But it wasn’t them. He couldn’t make himself believe that. No. It wasn’t their fault. Not exactly.
It was yours. It was yours and no one else’s.
It’s all because of you.
That thought stung, burned in the pit of his stomach, and yet it lingered, demanding to be acknowledged. Tim didn’t want to think that way—he didn’t want to blame you. But how could he ignore it? You had done your job, you’d exposed something they couldn’t ignore, but now it was a nightmare. Gotham was chaos, because of you.
No.
He slammed his fist on the desk, glaring at the footage, refusing to accept that thought. No, this wasn’t your fault. It couldn’t be. It was never supposed to happen like this. You had been right about the drug ring, and you had fought damn hard to stop it, all by yourself. But that’s where it went wrong, wasn’t it? You hadn’t called for backup. You hadn’t reached out. If you had—if you had just asked for someone, anything, anyone—maybe you would still be here.
Tim couldn’t stop the wave of anger that crashed over him. But it wasn’t at the criminals who had shot you, it wasn’t even at the fact that Gotham had spiraled into a warzone. No. It was at you.
Fuck.
Even now, after everything, he was the one left to clean up your mess. The same way he always had. The same way he always would. The same he always did. But this time—
This time, you weren’t there to hear him run through the details, to see the frustration in his eyes when things went sideways. You were gone.
And that was the most fucked up part of it all.
Where had it all gone wrong? When had things shifted from predictable to catastrophic? What had gone wrong between your last breath and his desperate attempts to piece together every detail, every frame of this damn footage? How many more people did he have to lose before he could just accept it?
Tim’s hands tightened around the desk, nails digging into the cool surface, but his thoughts kept spiraling out of control. He should be used to this by now. Loss. Death. People getting torn away from him like everything was just so damn fragile. But no. He wasn’t used to it. No matter how many times he told himself he should be, no matter how many people he’d lost, he wasn’t.
It never got easier.
It was almost too much. Too much to bear, but it wouldn’t stop. The losses he faced just kept looping over and over again. The image of you, falling to the floor of that warehouse, blood pooling beneath you.
Tim exhaled shakily, his nails scraping against the desk as he forced himself to take another breath. His chest was tight, his ribs felt like they were caving in, like his own body was rejecting the sheer weight of everything. But he couldn’t stop. He couldn’t stop watching. Couldn’t stop looking at you, frozen in time, caught in the endless cycle of your last moments.
The footage looped again. And again. And again.
His brain wouldn’t stop dissecting it, wouldn’t stop scrutinizing every movement, every frame, as if the sheer force of his obsession could change something. As if watching it just one more time would suddenly make it all make sense.
But it didn’t. It never did.
He slammed the replay button, forcing the video back to the start, watching as you darted through the shadows, your movements swift and efficient. You had been so sure of yourself. You had to be, because you wouldn’t have done this otherwise, right? You wouldn’t have gone in without backup unless you knew you could handle it. Unless you thought you had no other choice.
Right?
But why?
Why?
Why hadn’t you asked him for help? Or anyone else for the matter.
Tim dug the heel of his palm into his eye, as if he could press the questions out of his skull, force them into submission.
Hah. Who was he fooling?
He knew why.
Because this wasn’t the first time.
This wasn’t the first time you’d come to him with a lead, eyes sharp and voice brimming with certainty. You’d always been like that—so sure, so goddamn convinced that you were right. And most of the time?
You weren’t.
Tim had been the one to prove it almost every time, the one who always had to go back, retrace your steps, find the gaps in your logic, the flaws in your deductions. He’d been the one who had to clean up after you when things didn’t go the way you expected.
And this time—
This time, you had been right.
The realization hit him like a knife to the gut, twisting, tearing.
You had been right. You had exposed something big, something that should have been on their radar, something that had been festering in Gotham for longer than any of them had realized.
And it had cost you.
Tim’s hands trembled over the keyboard, his fingers curling into fists. That’s why he can’t blame you. That’s why he can’t let himself be angry at you.
Not really.
Because if it hadn’t been for you, this whole operation would have gone unnoticed. Would have slipped through the cracks, just like so many things before it.
You had forced them to see it.
And now Gotham was paying the price.
Now you had paid the price.
Tim gritted his teeth, his breath unsteady.
If you had just—
If you had just waited.
If you had just asked for help.
If you had just asked him for help.
His vision blurred for a moment, but he wasn’t sure if it was from exhaustion or frustration or something worse. He swiped at his face, barely noticing the wetness on his fingers before his hand hovered over the keyboard again. He had to—
“Tim.”
The voice cut through the haze of his spiraling thoughts like a gunshot.
He barely reacted. His shoulders tensed, his gaze stayed locked on the screen, his fingers frozen above the keys.
“Tim.”
He heard her footsteps approaching, the sharpness in her tone laced with something else—exasperation, frustration. Concern.
He ignored it.
The footage replayed.
Again.
And again.
“Tim.”
He didn’t turn. Didn’t blink.
And then there was a hand on his shoulder, yanking him away from the screen, forcing him to look up, to register the anger, the exhaustion, the raw frustration carved into her expression.
Stephanie.
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
Tim blinked at her, dazed, uncomprehending.
Stephanie’s jaw clenched, her grip tightening. “Are you even aware of what’s happening out there? Gotham is a fucking mess. And you’re down here—what? Watching the same damn footage on repeat? Watching (Name) die over and over again?? Like it’s going to change something?”
Tim’s fingers twitched. His throat felt dry, his voice rough when he finally spoke. “I have to—”
“No, you don’t.” Her voice cracked, just slightly, but it was gone in an instant, replaced by something harsher. “You don’t, Tim. You’re just—” She exhaled sharply, dragging a hand through her hair. “Jesus Christ, do you even know where Damian is?”
That made Tim hesitate.
Stephanie’s eyes narrowed. “Yeah. That’s what I thought.”
Tim swallowed, his jaw locking. “I’m—”
“You’re what?” she cut in, voice sharp and furious. “Busy? Too busy staring at a screen, trying to—what? Bring her back? Figure out some convoluted explanation that makes this make sense?”
Tim flinched.
And Stephanie didn’t stop.
“Because guess what, Tim? It doesn’t make sense. It never makes sense. And you just sitting here, watching her die on repeat? Analysing her every move, every breath, every mistake? It’s not going to fix anything.”
Tim exhaled, slow and shaky, his gaze dropping for a fraction of a second.
“Bruce, Jason and Damian are god knows where. Dick’s gone on a rampage. Cass and Duke are off on their own, trying to keep shit from burning down completely. Helena and Kate are out there trying to contain the damage—we had to call Dinah in because there aren’t enough of us—”
Her breath hitched, her voice shaking now, but she pushed forward, because Stephanie Brown didn’t stop when things got hard.
“And you? You’re here. Acting like this is going to change anything.”
Tim’s fingers curled into fists.
Stephanie shook her head, anger flashing in her eyes. “She’s gone, Tim.”
“She’s not gone.”
Tim’s breath was coming in quick, ragged bursts. His heartbeat thundered in his ears, but he wasn’t sure if it was from frustration or the way Stephanie was looking at him right now—like she couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth.
“She’s not dead…!” His voice cracked, but he barely noticed. His hands slammed against the desk, gripping the edges so hard his knuckles went white. “She can’t be dead—she just—”
“Tim, do you even hear yourself right now?!” Stephanie snapped, stepping closer. “(Name) is dead! Dead, Tim! And you need to start—”
“No.” He shook his head, refusing to let her finish. “No, because what about all the other people we thought were dead? Superman. Bruce. Conner. Bart.” His voice was climbing now, chest heaving as his mind raced faster than his words. “And you—you, Stephanie. Every single one of you somehow came back to life, whether it was because you weren’t actually dead, or you were brought back by—”
“That’s not the same thing!” Stephanie’s voice was sharp, but Tim didn’t stop.
“It is the same thing!” His eyes were wide now, wild with something he didn’t know how to name. “Superman was literally killed, and what happened? He came back. Bruce—we buried him, and guess what? He wasn’t even dead! Conner—he died during Infinite Crisis and came back! Bart sacrificed himself during —” His breath hitched, and he barely held it together. “And you.” His voice was shaking now. “You faked your death, Steph. You let me and everyone think you were dead for months...! And yet—”
Stephanie exhaled sharply, dragging a hand through her hair. “But this is different, Tim! She’s different!”
“How?! How is this different?”
“Because she was shot, Tim!” Stephanie practically shouted, frustration burning in her chest. “She wasn’t resurrected by some Kryptonian regeneration matrix, or caught in some bullshit time displacement! She wasn’t lost in the timestream like Bruce, or cloned by some insane scientist, or mysteriously revived by the Speed Force! She was shot! Bullets went through her, Tim! There’s no coming back from that!”
Tim’s breath stuttered, but he clenched his jaw, shaking his head rapidly.
“No,” he muttered, his fingers flying over the keyboard. “No, that doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t make sense. Her suit was reinforced—there’s no way a bullet could have—”
“Because we weren’t prepared, Tim!” Stephanie cut in, her voice cracking. “She wasn’t prepared! Those bullets weren’t normal—those weren’t some cheap rounds from street dealers—they were made of promethium, Tim. Promethium. Her suit wasn’t designed to withstand that kind of impact.”
Tim faltered for half a second.
But it wasn’t enough.
“No.” His voice was flat, empty. “No, because if that’s true, then that means—” His breath hitched again, his fingers twitching over the keyboard. “That means she wasn’t supposed to die.” His voice grew distant, his mind racing through every scenario. “That means there was a way we could have stopped this. That means there was a way I could have—”
Stephanie’s head snapped up, eyes narrowing.
“You always do this,” she seethed, voice shaking. “You always think it’s on you to fix everything—to stop everything before it happens.” Her hands clenched into fists, nails biting into her palms. “Well, guess what, Tim? Not everything is your fault.”
Tim let out a humorless laugh, sharp and bitter. “Oh yeah? Because it sure as hell feels like it is.”
Stephanie inhaled sharply, rage flaring in her chest.
“She’s gone, Tim,” she said, her voice dangerously low. “And you’re sitting here acting like you’re the only one who lost her.”
Tim flinched at that.
She’s right.
How could she not be?
“You think you’re the only one hurting?” Her voice cracked, but she pushed through. “You think you’re the only one who can’t believe she’s actually gone?” She shook her head, frustration bleeding into every word. “Newsflash, Tim—I can’t believe it either. None of us can.” Her breathing was uneven now, the weight of the past few days pressing down on her like a vice. “But you—” She exhaled sharply. “You and (Name)? You weren’t even close.”
Stephanie saw Tim stiffen, and she felt her throat tightened, but she didn’t stop. Even though she knew she didn’t have any right to say the next few words.
“I mean, I can’t even talk, right? Because it’s not like she and I were friends or anything. But whatever we had was at least something—more than whatever the hell was going on between you two.” She swallowed, voice thick with something she refused to name. “So why, Tim? Why are you acting like this? Like you’re the only one who lost her?”
Tim opened his mouth—then closed it.
Because she was right.
And he hated that she was right.
Because he didn’t know why.
Didn’t know why this loss felt different.
Didn’t know why it felt like he was suffocating on it.
Maybe because he had never taken loss well.
Maybe because every time he lost someone, it felt like another piece of him was being ripped away.
Maybe because he still wasn’t convinced.
Maybe because he still felt like there was a way to fix this.
Before he could say anything—before either of them could keep unraveling—a sharp, piercing alert rang through the cave, slicing through the air like a blade.
Stephanie jerked her head up, eyes narrowing. “What the hell was that?”
Tim’s entire body went rigid.
He turned to the screen, fingers flying over the keyboard. His heart pounded against his ribs, his stomach twisting. His eyes scanned the system logs—
And then he froze.
Stephanie immediately stepped closer. “Tim?”
Tim didn’t move.
“Tim.”
Nothing.
Then, slowly—so slowly—he turned to look at her. His expression was unreadable.
“…That’s the alert Bruce installed at the graveyards.”
Stephanie felt her stomach drop.
“What?”
Tim swallowed, his throat dry, his voice barely above a whisper.
“It’s an alert that goes off whenever someone is digging up the graves.”
Stephanie’s breath caught in her throat.
And then—
Tim clenched his jaw.
“The alert that just sounded… was for (Name)’s grave.”
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The Batcave was silent.
Not the kind of silence that came with solitude, nor the kind that settled between brief moments of stillness.
No—this silence was suffocating.
Not in the literal sense—there was no smoke, no lack of oxygen, no pressing physical force keeping them in place. But the weight in the air, the way it clung to their skin and settled in their bones, made it impossible to ignore.
It was the kind of silence that pressed against their ribs like iron bars, the kind that wrapped itself around their throats and made it hard to breathe. It was the kind of silence that wasn’t truly silent at all—because beneath it, there was tension, rage, a storm waiting to break.
The only sounds were the quiet hum of the Batcomputer and the occasional distant drip of water echoing through the cavernous walls. Even the bats that lurked in the high crevices seemed to hold their breath.
It had been silent since they got back.
Not the comfortable silence of routine, not the practiced quiet of soldiers working in tandem, but a silence teetering—on the edge of something irreversible, something that could snap at any second.
Bruce had yet to turn around.
His back remained to them, shoulders squared, posture impossibly still, and yet—somehow, in some unnatural way, he still managed to command the entire room. Still made every breath feel like it had to be earned, like speaking out of turn might shatter something fragile and irreparable.
But the silence couldn’t last forever.
Bruce’s voice, when it finally came, was low and sharp as a blade.
“Damian.”
His name cut through the air like a blade.
Damian inhaled sharply, but he did not falter.
His shoulders squared, his hands curled into fists at his sides, his jaw locked in a way that made his teeth ache, and he forced himself to meet Bruce’s gaze when his father finally turned around.
“Why did you do it?” Bruce’s hands had curled into fists at his sides.
“I had to take a chance.”
The words left him before he could second-guess them, before he could even consider any other way to phrase it. As if putting it any other way would make a difference. As if making it sound more reasonable, more calculated, more understandable would change anything.
Bruce’s stare didn’t waver.
His response was immediate.
“No.” His voice was harsher now, dangerously close to breaking. “This isn’t the way.”
The words were spoken like a fact. As if there was no arguing it, as if the conversation should have ended right there, as if Damian had already lost.
But he hadn’t.
Because this wasn’t about right or wrong.
This wasn’t about rules.
This was about you.
“Why not?”
His voice came sharper this time, cracking through the space between them, pushing against the weight of Bruce’s certainty, forcing something else into the silence. Something raw. Something desperate.
“I had to take a chance.”
He had to.
He had to.
Bruce inhaled, slow and measured, before exhaling just as steadily.
When he spoke again, his voice was still calm.
Unshaken.
And somehow, that only made it worse.
“(Name) is dead, Damian.”
A sharp breath.
His stomach twisted violently.
His body tensed, his nails pressing so hard into his palms that the sting barely even registered. His heartbeat slammed against his ribs, but outwardly, he refused to react.
He refused.
“She’s not—”
“Damian.”
Bruce’s voice cut through his own, and the finality in it sent something cold shooting down his spine.
But he shoved it down.
He wouldn’t accept this.
He couldn’t.
Damian’s hands curled into fists. “Then I should have gotten her to the pit sooner.”
“That’s not how this works.”
“Then how does it work, Father?” Damian snapped, his voice cutting through the cave like a whip. “Tell me—tell me how it makes any sense that Jason could be revived but not—” His voice caught for half a second, but he gritted his teeth and pushed through. “Not her.”
Bruce didn’t answer immediately.
And that silence—it was almost worse than anything he could have said.
“That was different.”
Damian’s fists clenched.
“How?”
Bruce inhaled again, and something in the way he did it—something so controlled, so deliberate—made Damian’s stomach twist even further.
“Jason wasn’t brought back to life by the Lazarus Pit.” His voice was firm, but there was something almost reluctant in the way he spoke, like he didn’t want to explain this. Like saying it out loud would make something real. “The pit only restored his mind. It erased the damage. That’s different from what you tried to do.”
The words felt like they didn’t make sense.
Like they didn’t fit.
Like they shouldn’t exist.
Like they should be impossible.
But Bruce—
His father was saying them like they were true.
Something shifted.
Something small.
But Damian noticed.
Bruce stopped speaking, his sentence left unfinished, hanging in the air like a rope about to snap.
His fingers twitched at his sides.
His jaw tightened—just slightly, just barely.
His mind raced—whirring, unraveling, dissecting—because it should have worked.
He had done everything right.
He dug you out of your grave, broke through the dirt with his own two hands. He had brought you to the only Lazarus Pit in Gotham, he dragged your lifeless form across the damp cavern floors. He had submerged you into the emerald waters, the same way his mother had shown him, the same way it had worked before.
But nothing happened.
The pit remained still.
The water glowed, but it did not churn, did not surge with life.
It removed the scars you’ve gotten over the years. But that was it.
You—
you did not wake up.
You remained still. Cold. Gone.
Why?
Why didn’t it work?
It should have worked.
Unless—
A voice rang in his ears.
His mother’s voice.
“The Lazarus Pit restores the body to its perfect condition—before death.”
Before death.
Is that why?
Is that why the Lazarus Pit didn’t work?
Jason was barely alive—barely sane—when he was thrown into the pit.
But he was alive.
And you—
You weren’t.
Damian couldn’t say it.
Couldn’t bear to say it.
No.
No, he refused to accept that.
You couldn’t be gone. Not like this. Not this easily. Not this pathetically.
His voice was hoarse when he spoke again.
Something inside him cracked.
“You knew.”
The words felt like an accusation.
Bruce didn’t deny it.
Damian’s hands shook.
“You knew it wouldn’t work, didn’t you?” His voice was quiet, but it carried through the cave like a gunshot.
Bruce still didn’t deny it.
“You knew, and you still let me—”
Damian felt himself faltering. He felt the words get caught in his throat.
“You still let me dig her up.”
His throat tightened, and he felt something press down on his chest, something suffocating, something that refused to let him breathe properly.
“You let me take her to the Lazarus Pit. You let me think it would work—”
Bruce inhaled, slow and even. “You needed to see for yourself.”
Damian’s vision blurred for half a second.
Then he snapped.
“That’s bullshit.”
Bruce remained still.
“You wanted me to fail.”
Bruce remained silent.
“You wanted me to see—” His breath hitched. “That she was really—”
He couldn’t say it.
Because if he said it—if he let himself even breathe those words—
It would be real.
Damian couldn’t stand it.
Couldn’t accept it.
Because how could he?
When you had died such a meaningless death?
When you had gone out like that?
He hadn’t gone to your funeral.
Hadn’t watched them lower you into the ground.
Hadn’t stood beside the rest of them, listening to empty condolences and meaningless words.
No.
Because he couldn’t.
Because he refused to accept that you were really gone.
Because you had always been so stubborn.
So reckless.
Because you shouldn’t have died like that.
Because you should have let them help you.
Because it wasn’t supposed to be like this.
But who was he to say that?
When he was just like you.
Stubborn. Reckless in his own way.
Just as self-destructive.
And it was eating him alive.
“She wouldn’t have wanted this.”
Damian’s eyes snapped toward Tim.
Tim, who had been standing quietly until now.
Tim, who looked like he was barely holding himself together.
Tim, who had alerted Bruce—who had found Damian at the Lazarus Pit, alongside Stephanie.
Damian let out a sharp scoff. “Huh.” He tilted his head, voice dripping with something venomous. “And what would you know?”
Tim’s expression flickered—just for a second.
“More than you think.”
Damian scoffed, shaking his head. “No. You wouldn’t.”
Tim exhaled sharply. “You think you knew her.” His voice was low, measured, but it wavered slightly. “But you didn’t.”
Damian’s chest tightened. “And you did?”
Tim’s hands curled into fists.
Damian let out a sharp, bitter laugh. “You hated her.”
Tim stiffened. His jaw clenched.
“No, I didn’t.”
The words were immediate. Unshaken.
And somehow, they hit harder than anything else so far.
“You never even acknowledged her.”
“Yes I did—“
“Well I suppose it wasn’t enough apparently.”
Tim’s breath stilled, his shoulders locking, his throat bobbing in a way that Damian almost wouldn’t have noticed if he hadn’t been looking for it.
“Well you pushed her away every chance you got,” Tim shot back, voice sharp, words cutting. “So don’t act like you actually cared.”
Damian’s fingers twitched.
“I did care.”
Tim exhaled, bitter.
“Yeah? She definitely knew that for sure.”
Damian froze.
His breath hitched.
You knew.
You had to know.
Didn’t you?
Even when he had insulted you, even when he had been a complete bastard—
Even when he was cruel, even when he acted like you were nothing but a nuisance, even when he never said anything—
You had to have known.
Didn’t you?
Didn’t you?
“I had to take this chance,” Damian said, quieter, breath uneven, hands shaking. “Because she was my sister.”
Tim’s expression flickered.
And then—
“She was my sister too.”
The words left Tim before he could stop them.
Before he could even think.
Everything stopped. The words lingered in the air, sinking into the silence like a blade buried deep into flesh.
She was my sister, too.
Tim hadn’t meant to say it.
Hadn’t planned it.
Hadn’t even thought about it before the words just left his mouth, before they hit the space between them, before they cut into something raw, something real, something he hadn’t even let himself acknowledge until it was already too late.
His own breath caught, his hands curling into fists at his sides, his pulse hammering against his skull as if his own body was trying to reject what he’d just said.
Because why now?
Why was he only saying it now?
Why was he only acknowledging it when you were already—
His throat locked up.
Damian’s fingers twitched.
His mouth opened slightly, as if to speak, as if to say something, but no words came out.
The air between them was thick, suffocating, the weight of everything pressing down on Tim’s ribs so hard that he felt like he could barely breathe. His heartbeat was uneven, erratic, like his own body didn’t know how to process what had just happened.
“You don’t get to say that.”
Damian’s voice was quiet.
Too quiet.
Tim exhaled sharply, his jaw locking. “What?”
Damian’s shoulders squared, his arms stiff at his sides, his fingers still shaking even as he clenched them into fists. His breathing had turned uneven, almost unsteady, but his voice—his voice was sharp.
“You don’t get to say that.”
Tim scoffed, shaking his head, but he felt something tightening in his chest.
“I don’t get to say that?” His voice came out bitter, biting, but his own hands were trembling slightly now. “(Name) was my sister too, Damian. That’s just a fact.”
Damian’s breath stilled.
For a split second, his body went completely still.
“Then why did you treat her like she wasn’t?”
Tim’s chest clenched. His breath hitched.
Damian took a step closer, voice cutting deeper, something sharp in his expression, something broken in his stare.
“Why did you act like she didn’t matter? Like she wasn’t even worth your time? Why did you act like she—”
His breath stuttered for half a second, something cracking through his voice before he forced it back down.
“You pushed her away.”
Tim clenched his teeth. “That’s rich coming from you.”
Damian’s hands twitched.
“I never pushed her away.”
“You shut her out,” Tim snapped, voice cracking under the weight of it. “You resented her.”
Damian’s stomach twisted.
“I did not.”
“You didn’t care about her when she was alive.”
“I did.”
“You barely even acknowledged her—”
“I did not hate her.”
“But now you suddenly care?” Tim let out a bitter laugh. “Now, suddenly, she’s your sister?”
“She is my sister,” Damian snapped. “And you don’t get to say otherwise.”
Tim’s breath hitched.
His heartbeat slammed against his ribs.
Because that—
That wasn’t the same thing.
That wasn’t—
“That’s not what I said.”
Damian’s nails dug into his palms.
“Yeah, but it’s what you meant.”
Tim inhaled sharply, his hands twitching at his sides, something thick in his throat that he didn’t want to name.
He shook his head, exhaling, his breath uneven. “You think I—”
“You think I hated her?” Damian cut in, voice sharp, voice dangerous. “You think I would have wannted her to die? You really think that’s what I wanted all this time??”
Tim clenched his jaw, shaking his head. “That’s not what I’m saying—”
“Really?”
Damian took another step forward, his body tense, his posture unreadable, his fingers curled into fists like he was trying so hard to keep himself steady, to keep himself from doing anything other than this.
“Then what are you saying?”
Tim exhaled sharply, shaking his head again, running a hand through his hair before letting it drop back to his side, something tight inside of him, something that was pressing too hard against his ribs, something that felt like it was clawing at his chest from the inside out.
“She wouldn’t have wanted this.”
Damian stilled.
“You keep saying that,” Damian said, voice tight, voice low, voice lined with something Tim couldn’t fully decipher. “Like you actually know what she wanted.”
Tim’s throat tightened.
“You didn’t know her, Drake.”
A beat of silence.
“You don’t get to say that,” Tim said, voice shaking with something raw. “You don’t get to act like you gave a damn about her when it actually mattered.”
Damian’s eyes burned.
“You don’t get to act like you knew her, either,” he shot back, his voice venomous. “You don’t get to tell me what she would have wanted—”
Tim let out a breathless laugh. “And you do?” His voice was rising now, sharp with frustration. “You think you had the right to drag her out of her grave and throw her into the Lazarus Pit because you couldn’t deal with it?”
Damian’s stomach churned. “Shut up.”
Tim stepped forward. “You think she would’ve wanted this?”
Damian’s nails dug into his palms.
And at that moment, Stephanie, who’d be silently listening to the entire argument, stepped forward. “Okay, that’s enough, guys—”
“You think she would’ve wanted to wake up in that pit—if she even could?” Tim’s voice cracked slightly, but he didn’t stop. “To wake up wrong?”
“No,” Tim interrupted, his voice raw. He stepped closer, his fists trembling at his sides. “You think you’re the only one who wanted her back?” His voice cracked slightly, but he pushed through. “You think you’re the only one who couldn’t accept it?”
Damian exhaled sharply, looking away.
“You thiink you’re the only one who’s thought of dumping her in a Lazarus Pit, hoping that somehow—”
Tim’s breath caught.
He stopped.
Because he couldn’t say it either.
Because saying it out loud would make it real.
Would make it final.
That there really was no way of bringing you back to life.
And for a moment, neither of them spoke.
Neither of them moved.
“That’s enough.”
Bruce’s voice cut through the air, sharp, commanding, absolute.
Tim sucked in a breath.
Damian’s hands shook.
Silence.
The silence that followed was suffocating. Heavy. Almost unbearable.
Tim felt his pulse pounding in his ears, his breath still uneven, his body still tense from the argument—no, from the fight. Because that’s what this was.
Damian wasn’t even looking at him anymore.
His hands were curled into fists so tight that his knuckles had turned white, his shoulders were stiff, his breath was shallow, and his entire posture was wound so tightly that Tim thought he might just snap.
But he wouldn’t.
Not in front of Bruce.
Bruce, who had spoken with finality, whose voice had cut through the air like a blade, sharp enough to make even Damian shut up.
Tim swallowed, dragging a hand down his face before exhaling sharply, trying—failing—to let go of the tension clawing at his chest. His other hand clenched at his side, nails digging into his palm, grounding him, steadying him, because if he didn’t, he wasn’t sure what would happen.
Damian still wasn’t looking at him.
He wasn’t looking at Bruce either.
He was staring straight ahead, at the cave floor, at something that wasn’t even there, his entire body locked up, unreadable, unreadable, unreadable—
And then his gaze shifted.
Just barely.
Tim saw the exact moment his eyes landed on your body.
—or, at least, where your body should have been.
You were still there.
Your body was still there.
They had laid you down. Covered you up with a white sheet. Tim hadn’t been the one to do it—he didn’t even know who had done it, if it was Bruce, or Stephanie, or if they had both done it together, but he knew it hadn’t been him.
He hadn’t looked.
Not really.
He hadn’t let himself.
Damian’s fingers twitched.
His breathing hitched.
And then, before anyone could say anything—before Bruce could look at him, before Tim could process anything, before Stephanie could even move—
Damian turned and stormed out of the cave.
His boots struck the floor hard, fast, and then he was gone.
Stephanie opened her mouth, but nothing came out of it.
Bruce was already turning back toward the Batcomputer, already refocusing, already shutting down, because that was what he did. That was how he functioned.
Tim exhaled sharply.
The tension in his chest was still there.
Still suffocating.
Still unbearable.
He thought back to what he’d said. Thought back to what Damian did.
And Tim hated how he would’ve done the exact same thing Damian did if he were given the chance to.
Hated he was just like Damian in that sense.
Without a word, without a look, without a second thought—
Tim turned and left, too.
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The alley reeked of rain-soaked asphalt and cigarette smoke, the kind that clung to the air long after the ember had burned out. A flickering streetlamp cast jagged shadows against the crumbling brick, the light barely reaching past the fog curling along the ground. Somewhere in the distance, a siren wailed—short-lived, swallowed by the city’s restless hum.
Then came the scratch of a lighter, a brief glow illuminating a worn trench coat, a sharp inhale followed by a slow exhale, smoke drifting through the damp air.
“Well, ain’t this a bloody mess.”
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woops… 😬 heyyy guys…!! 🫣 did y’all miss me HAHA. this was definitely long overdue… i think i probably gave yall trust issues 😭 actual chapter 7 will be out at utc+8 12am on 14 Feb 🥰
taglist is closed ‼️(i’ll think about opening it again soon 🤫)
(1/3): @fangxout @dusk-muse @quethekillerqueen @isupportorbitalbombardment @nxdxsworld @vanessa-boo @coffeeaddictxd @moonsbluekingdom @yuya-bubbly @percythebitchwitch @anonymousdisco @jason-todd-fangirl-14 @redsakura101 @what-0-life @idkwhattoputhete @secretyouthcomputer @witch-waycult @allycat4458 @dazed-lavender @eclecticfurylady @wizzerreblogs @marsmabe @daddysfangirls-dc @hoeinthehouse @beeweensblog @ilxandra @agent-nobody-knows @thethingwiththefeathers @mochiivqi @pix-stuff @narration-ator @nebulousmoon3990 @delias-stuff @froggy-voidd @jjsmeowthie @kore-of-the-underworld @nen-nyy @juthesillylesbain @vikkus-main @emilylouise123 @blueiones @horror-lover-69 @chaotic-fangirl-blog @wassupbroski55555 @reallyromealone @plsfckmedxddy @sea-glasses @203moonysello @luvly-writer @dovey-quacks2332 @love-theangel @hotdinoankles @vebbiewuzhere (so sorry to those who’ve been moved to the second taglist—i can suddenly tag those i previously couldn’t 😭🙏💀)
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lila-lou · 2 days ago
Text
✨Taking her in - Pt. 19✨
Summary: After Dean Winchester saves your life, he brings you into the safety of the bunker. As you grow older and stronger, Dean refuses to let you join the hunts, his overprotective behavior intensifying. But beneath his fierce protectiveness lies something darker—conflicted feelings he can’t face. As your 18th birthday approaches, Dean struggles to keep control, torn between his duty to protect you and emotions he’s buried for too long.
Pairing: Dean x Reader
Warnings: 18+ only! Smut, Angst, HUGE Age Gap, Immoral, Language
Word Count: 7695
A/N: English isn’t my first language, please be lenient. 💜
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When he reached the kitchen, he saw you standing by the sink, your back to him. The hum of the faucet filled the room, but it was the soft sound of your quiet humming that drew him closer. You seemed lost in your own world.
Dean’s chest tightened at the sight of you. You were so at ease, so comfortable, even in his chaotic world. And while he knew he shouldn’t—knew he needed to calm down and keep his thoughts in check—he couldn’t stop himself from stepping closer.
You didn’t hear him at first, too focused on the task in front of you, until you felt his presence behind you. The warmth of his body was unmistakable, and you turned your head slightly, catching the faint scent of leather and musk that always clung to him.
“Dean”, you said softly, a small smile tugging at your lips as you glanced back. “You need something?”.
He shook his head, his good hand coming to rest lightly on the counter beside you for balance. His broken arm stayed close to his chest, but even with one hand, he managed to close the space between you, his presence wrapping around you like a blanket.
“Just couldn’t sit still”, he muttered, his voice low, rough. “Thought I’d come check on you”.
Your smile widened slightly as you turned back to the sink. “I’m fine”, you replied, though your voice softened at his concern. “Just dealing with the usual… you know”.
Dean let out a quiet hum of acknowledgment, but he didn’t move away. Instead, he leaned closer, his chest brushing lightly against your back. The heat of him made you pause, your hands stilling as you opened the cap of the hot water bottle.
“You know”, he murmured, his voice low and gravelly in your ear, “you’re humming that little tune you do when you’re thinking too hard”.
Your cheeks warmed as you realized he’d caught you, and you bit your lip, glancing back at him. “I didn’t even notice”, you admitted, your voice quieter now.
Dean smirked, his green eyes flicking down to yours. “Yeah, well, I notice”, he said, his tone softer now, filled with something unspoken.
You turned your head slightly, catching sight of Dean in your peripheral vision. His presence was steady, grounding, as he stood close behind you, his broken arm cradled protectively against his chest. His green eyes met yours when you turned fully, and the intensity there made your heart skip a beat.
“Dean”, you said softly, your voice curious but warm. “What are you doing?”.
Dean’s gaze flicked down to your lips before meeting your eyes again, and for a moment, he hesitated. His jaw tightened slightly, as though he was debating something with himself, before he finally spoke, his voice low and rough. “Just… thinking about how much I wanna kiss those lips of yours”.
Your breath caught at his words, the air in the room seeming to grow heavier. His vulnerability, the rawness in his tone, made your heart race as you stared up at him, momentarily speechless.
“Dean”, you murmured, a faint blush creeping up your cheeks as the corners of your lips curved into a soft smile. “You can just… do it, you know”.
A faint smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth, though his eyes softened with something deeper. “Yeah?”, he asked, stepping just a little closer, his good hand brushing against your waist.
You nodded shyly, your cheeks flushing a deeper shade of pink as you bit your lip, anticipation fluttering in your chest. Dean’s smirk softened into something more tender as he stepped closer, his good hand resting firmly on your waist. He leaned down slowly, his lips brushing against yours in a gentle, almost hesitant kiss that sent a shiver down your spine.
The kiss deepened as Dean tilted his head, his lips parting slightly before his tongue brushed against yours, teasing, inviting. The sensation made your knees weaken, and you instinctively grabbed onto his shoulders for balance. Despite your effort, you couldn’t help but feel a little clumsy, your movements unsure and unpracticed when it came to the dance of tongues. But rather than deter him, your hesitance seemed to ignite something deeper in Dean.
A low groan escaped his throat, the sound reverberating through you as his grip on your waist tightened. His body pressed closer to yours, and you suddenly became very aware of the hard length of him pressing against your stomach. Your breath hitched, the realization sending a wave of heat through your entire body.
As Dean’s tongue teased yours, the intensity of the kiss grew, and you felt your body responding in ways you couldn’t control. A warmth spread through your core, pooling low in your belly as a soft ache built steadily. The realization of how wet you were becoming made your breath hitch, and you exhaled heavily into the kiss, your chest rising and falling as you struggled to keep up with the sensations flooding through you.
Dean noticed—of course he did. His groan deepened, vibrating against your lips as his good hand tightened on your waist. Every movement felt deliberate, every stroke of his tongue and press of his hips igniting a fire within you. You clung to him, instinctively letting him lead, just as you always did. With Dean, you trusted him completely, and the way he guided you in every moment left no room for doubt or fear.
He broke the kiss for a moment, his forehead resting against yours as he caught his breath. His green eyes were heavy-lidded and filled with a heat that made your pulse race.
Dean’s lips curved into that boyish grin that always had a way of disarming you, making your heart race and your knees weak. His forehead still pressed against yours, his green eyes danced with mischief as he murmured, “You sure you don’t wanna…? Heard it helps with those cramps”.
You blinked, your face flushing even deeper at his bold suggestion. “Dean”, you mumbled, but your voice wavered, unsure whether you were protesting or simply trying to process what he’d just said.
“I’m serious”, he added, his voice dropping lower, the grin never leaving his lips. “And c’mon, sweetheart—blood? You think I care? Hell, I drown in blood every weekend”. His tone was teasing but edged with sincerity, and the way his hand squeezed your waist made it impossible to look away.
Your mind spun, your cheeks burning as you tried to come up with a response.
Dean’s grin didn’t falter as his hand gently stroked your waist, his green eyes locked onto yours with a mix of playfulness and intensity. He leaned in just a fraction closer, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered, his voice low and rough, “C’mon, sweetheart. What’s there to think about? You’re already squirming against me, and you know you’ll feel better after”.
Your breath hitched, and you bit your lip, unable to look at him directly. “I don’t know, Dean”, you whispered shyly, your voice barely audible. The vulnerability in your tone made your blush deepen, and you pressed your palms lightly against his chest, unsure if you were holding him closer or trying to push him away.
Dean’s good hand slid from your waist to the small of your back, pulling you flush against him. His touch was firm but careful, the warmth of his hand sending shivers down your spine. “You trust me, don’t you?”, he murmured, his lips brushing against the corner of your mouth. “I’ll take care of you, baby. Make you feel so damn good you’ll forget you ever doubted it”.
The way he said it, so full of confidence and heat, made your heart race. He tilted your chin up gently, forcing you to meet his gaze. “You’re already dripping for me, aren’t you?”, he continued, his voice dipping lower, each word deliberate and teasing. “Let me take care of that, yeah? You’ll feel better—promise”.
His words sent a rush of heat through you, and you clenched your thighs instinctively, the ache between them growing harder to ignore. Dean’s smirk widened slightly as he noticed, his fingers brushing lightly over your lower back. His lips hovered near your ear, his warm breath sending shivers down your spine. His voice dropped even lower, barely more than a rumble, as he murmured, “Sweetheart, you’re already making those little noises for me, squirming in my arms like this. You really think you’re gonna say no?”.
His good hand pressed against the small of your back, holding you tighter, while his thumb brushed teasingly along your side. “You know how good I can make you feel”, he whispered, his tone darkening just enough to make your cheeks burn hotter. “Just imagine it. Me, buried inside you, moving slow and deep, making you forget every little ache you’ve got”.
Your breath hitched, and you let out a small whimper, unable to suppress the way your body reacted to his words.
“Yeah, that’s it”, he murmured, his lips grazing the shell of your ear. “I bet you’re already so wet for me. Just thinking about how good it’ll feel”. He paused, his hand sliding slightly lower, his thumb brushing the waistband of your leggings.
You squirmed against him, your hands clutching at his shirt as you bit your lip, trying to keep yourself steady. His voice was intoxicating, each word making the ache between your legs more unbearable.
“C’mon, baby”, Dean murmured, his voice husky and full of heat. “Let me make you feel good". His tongue flicked against your earlobe, making you gasp softly. “Just say the word”.
His words and his touch were overwhelming, the heat in your body rising to a fever pitch as he continued.
Dean groaned low in his throat, the sound vibrating against your skin as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. His good hand gripped your waist firmly, his thumb brushing small, tantalizing circles over your skin. “Sweetheart”, he murmured, his voice strained and husky, “I’m so damn hard it hurts”.
The rawness in his tone made your breath hitch, your body instinctively pressing closer to his. He groaned again at the contact, his hips shifting slightly to emphasize the growing pressure against you. “I just wanna feel you”, he continued, his voice dropping lower, filled with unfiltered desire. “Feel myself sliding into you, nice and slow. Taking my time… making sure you feel every damn inch”.
Your cheeks burned as his words settled over you, a rush of heat coursing through your body. “I know what this does to you. I know how much you like it when I tell you what I want. And right now, all I want is you”.
You trembled in his arms, your hands clutching his shirt as if to steady yourself. Dean tilted his head slightly, his lips brushing down the side of your neck, his teeth grazing your skin just enough to make you squirm.
“Come on, baby". His lips brushed the sensitive spot just below your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. “I’ll be so gentle, sweetheart. Just you and me, nice and slow”.
Your breath came in shallow gasps, your heart pounding in your chest as his words wrapped around you like a spell. He knew exactly what to say, exactly how to make you feel completely consumed by him.
“Okay”, you finally whispered, your voice barely audible as you clung to him, your body trembling with anticipation. The word slipped from your lips almost involuntarily, a soft admission of surrender that made Dean groan in response.
Dean hovered over you, his broad frame tense as he braced himself with his good arm, the muscles in his forearm flexing under the strain. His shirt clung to him, rumpled and slightly damp from the effort of maneuvering himself without aggravating his injuries. His green eyes burned with intensity as he looked down at you, his chest rising and falling heavily. The weight of the moment made the air between you thick, charged with anticipation.
He glanced down toward his sweatpants, then back at you, his lips curving into a crooked smirk. “You’re gonna have to help me out here, sweetheart”, he murmured, his voice low and rough with desire. “Can’t do it one-handed”.
Your cheeks flushed a deep crimson, and your heart raced as you nodded, your fingers trembling slightly as you reached for the waistband of his sweatpants. The intimacy of the moment felt overwhelming, but the way Dean’s eyes softened as he watched you steadied your nerves. Slowly, you tugged the fabric down, careful not to move too quickly or jostle him.
Dean let out a low groan as you freed him, the sound sending a wave of heat through your body. His eyes, full of raw desire, watched your every move, his breath catching as your fingers, trembling slightly, wrapped around him. The intimacy of the gesture, your hesitant yet determined touch, stirred something deep within him.
You met his gaze, your own eyes wide with a mix of nerves and anticipation. With a gentle but firm grip, you guided him towards your entrance, your breath hitching as you felt the tip press against you.
Dean’s good hand remained braced above you, keeping his weight steady, but it was his other hand—the one with the broken arm—that surprised you. Carefully, tenderly, it moved to rest over yours, the warmth of his skin grounding you as his fingers brushed against yours. Despite his injury, the gesture was firm yet comforting, his broken arm moving just enough to help guide you.
“Easy, baby”, he murmured, his voice a soothing balm, low and rough with need but steady and calm. His green eyes locked onto yours, grounding you in his gaze. “Just like that”.
Dean’s broken arm stayed cradled protectively against his chest, but his fingers found their way to your hip, resting there lightly as if to steady you. Slowly, he began to ease himself inside you, his movements deliberate and measured.
You let out a soft whimper as the sensation overwhelmed you, the stretch coupled with the dull ache of your cramps making your body tense. Dean immediately noticed, his green eyes locking onto yours with a mixture of concern and reassurance.
“Shh, sweetheart”, he murmured, his voice low and soothing as he paused, his thumb brushing soft, calming circles against your hip. “It’ll get better, I promise. Just give it a second”.
You nodded, biting your lip as you focused on his words, letting the warmth of his touch and the steady tone of his voice wash over you. Dean pressed his forehead gently against yours, his breath fanning over your face as he murmured again, “Breathe, baby. Just relax”.
Following his lead, you took a slow, shaky breath, letting the tension in your body ease just enough for him to push forward again, inch by inch. Dean’s lips brushed lightly against your temple. “That’s it”, he rasped, his voice filled with a quiet reverence. “You’re doing so good, sweetheart”.
Dean groaned low in his throat as he pressed deeper inside you. His fingers flexing against your skin as if to remind you that despite his injuries, he was still in control.
His forehead rested against yours, his green eyes dark with a mix of raw desire and something deeper, something possessive. “You feel so damn good, sweetheart”, he rasped.
You whimpered softly, the sound escaping your lips as your body tensed. The sharp ache of your cramps flared with the stretch, making your breath hitch. “I know, sweetheart”, he murmured, his voice low and soothing despite the strain in his tone. “I can feel you tensing up. Just breathe for me, baby. I promise, it’ll get better”.
You whimpered again, your hands gripping his shoulders harder as your body trembled beneath him. Dean’s good hand moved slowly up your side, his thumb brushing tender circles against your skin in an effort to calm you. The contrast between his rough, calloused hand and his gentle touch sent a shiver through you, momentarily distracting you from the discomfort.
“You’re doing so good”, he rasped, his lips grazing your jawline as he pressed another inch deeper, his hips rolling with a deliberate slowness. “I know it’s intense, baby. But I’ll take care of you. Just trust me”.
The raw edge to his voice made your stomach flutter despite the pain, and you nodded shakily, your breath coming in short gasps as you tried to focus on the soothing rhythm of his movements. Dean groaned low in his throat, the sound vibrating through his chest as he rocked into you again. “That’s it”, he murmured, his green eyes locking onto yours. “You’re so damn perfect".
The ache in your abdomen began to dull slightly, replaced by a spreading warmth that eased the tension in your body. Dean seemed to sense the change, his smirk returning as he moved a little deeper, his good hand gripping your hip firmly as he held you steady.
“See?”, he whispered, his lips brushing over yours as he spoke. “Told you it’d feel better”.
After a few thrusts, Dean´s muscles trembling slightly as he fought to keep himself steady. The strain was evident in the tightness of his jaw and the beads of sweat gathering at his temple. His broken arm remained cradled protectively against his chest, but the effort of holding himself up with only his good arm—and the pull on his injured chest—was taking its toll. Yet, even through the strain, his focus remained entirely on you.
You moaned softly, your body adjusting to him as the sharpness of your cramps began to dull more and more, replaced by a slow, building pleasure. Your hands moved instinctively to his shoulders, your fingers brushing over the tense muscles as if trying to steady him in return.
“Dean”, you whispered, your voice shaky as you looked up at him. “You don’t have to—”.
“Shh”, he interrupted, his voice rough but firm as his lips brushed over your forehead. “I’ve got you, baby. Don’t worry about me”.
But you couldn’t help it. The way his arm trembled slightly, the way his chest heaved with the effort—it was clear this wasn’t easy for him. And yet, he refused to stop, refused to let his injuries hold him back.
“Fuck, sweetheart”, he muttered, his voice strained but full of heat. “You feel so good. So damn tight. Worth every second of this”.
You whimpered softly at his words, your hands gripping his shoulders more firmly as your body arched into his. The pressure inside you built with each slow thrust, the mix of pleasure and the sight of Dean’s determination making your heart race.
“You’re… killing me here”, he murmured, his lips brushing against yours before moving to your neck, where he pressed a series of lazy, open-mouthed kisses. “But damn, I don’t wanna stop”.
The sight of him—his raw, unrelenting strength, his refusal to let his injuries dictate the moment—made your chest tighten with emotion. You reached up, your hands sliding to his jaw as you guided his face back to yours, capturing his lips in a soft, desperate kiss.
And with that, he shifted his hips again, drawing another quiet moan from your lips as he pushed deeper. Every movement was slow and deliberate, as much for his sake as yours, but the intensity of it was enough to make your entire body tremble.
The tension in the room reached its peak as Dean’s deliberate movements pushed you closer and closer to the edge. His low groans, the sound of his uneven breathing, and the overwhelming intimacy of the moment were enough to send you spiraling. Your body tensed beneath him, your nails digging into his shoulders as the wave of pleasure finally crested.
“Dean”, you whimpered, your voice breaking as the release washed over you, leaving you trembling and breathless. The sensation was all-consuming, your muscles clenching tightly around him as your body arched into his.
Dean groaned deeply at the sensation, his hips faltering as he thrust into you one last time, the intensity of your release pushing him over the edge. His breath hitched, and with a low, guttural moan, he followed you into bliss. His body trembled with the effort, the strain evident as he emptied himself inside you, his head falling to rest against your shoulder.
Completely spent, Dean collapsed gently onto you. His good arm snaked around your waist, pulling you closer as his breathing came in short, ragged gasps. His broken arm remained cradled protectively between your bodies, though you could feel the faint tremor in his muscles from the effort he’d exerted.
For a few moments, the room was filled with nothing but the sound of your mingled breaths. Dean’s face was buried in the crook of your neck, his warm breath fanning over your skin as he tried to catch his breath.
“You okay?”, he rasped, his voice low and rough as he shifted slightly, mindful of his injuries. Despite the strain, there was a faint smirk tugging at his lips as he glanced up at you, his green eyes soft and full of affection.
You nodded, your fingers brushing gently through his sweat-dampened hair as you tried to steady your own breathing. “I’m… pretty fine”, you whispered, your voice trembling but sincere. “What about you? Are you okay?”.
Dean chuckled softly, though the sound was tinged with fatigue. “Better than okay”, he muttered, his lips pressing a lazy kiss to your collarbone. “Damn near perfect”.
After a few long, quiet moments, Dean’s breathing began to steady, his body finally relaxing against yours. With a soft grunt, he shifted slightly, planting a kiss on your shoulder before lifting his head to meet your gaze. The faint smirk tugging at his lips was matched by the warmth in his green eyes, though the exhaustion lingering there was unmistakable.
“Alright, sweetheart”, he murmured, his voice still rough as he slowly eased himself up. “Time to move before we’re stuck here all night”.
You bit your lip, your cheeks flushing as he gently pulled out of you, careful not to rush or cause any discomfort. The sensation made you wince slightly, and your instinct was to glance down, curious about the inevitable mess you’d made. But before you could, Dean’s hand reached out, his fingers lightly brushing your chin to tilt your face back up to meet his gaze.
“Nuh-uh”, he said softly, his smirk softening into a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry about that. Let’s take a shower instead”.
You blinked up at him, caught off guard by the tenderness in his tone. “Dean, I should—”.
“Trust me”, he interrupted, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your lips, silencing your protest. “You’ve had enough to worry about the last few weeks. Let me take care of you”.
The conviction in his voice left no room for argument, and you nodded, your heart fluttering at the thoughtfulness behind his words. He grinned faintly at your agreement, his good arm wrapping around your waist as he carefully helped you sit up. Despite his obvious fatigue, Dean made sure to support you, his movements slow and deliberate as he guided you toward the edge of the bed.
“C’mon, sweetheart”, he murmured, his voice low and gentle as he helped you to your feet. “Let’s get cleaned up”.
About a week later, the bunker had settled back into its usual quiet rhythm, though the tension of Dean’s slow recovery still lingered in the air. Dean was sitting in the library, his good arm resting lazily on the back of his chair while Sam leaned over him, carefully inspecting the stitches along his chest. The wound, though healing, was still an angry red, and Sam’s brow furrowed in concentration as he examined it.
Dean, as usual, looked impatient, his jaw set as he sat shirtless, his muscles flexing slightly with every subtle movement. His broken arm was still secured in a sling, though it didn’t stop him from shifting uncomfortably under Sam’s scrutiny.
“Hold still”, Sam muttered, his tone a mix of exasperation and concern. “These stitches look good, but you keep moving around too much, and you’re going to rip them open again”.
Dean rolled his eyes, his lips twitching into a faint smirk. “I’m fine, Sammy. You act like I’m on death’s door”.
Sam straightened, giving him a pointed look. “Because you were, Dean. You can’t keep acting like this is nothing”.
Dean’s smirk faltered slightly, but before Sam could press the point, your voice floated in from the doorway.
“Listen to him, Dean”, you said, stepping into the library with a cup of coffee in hand. Your gaze swept over the scene, and your heart did a little flip at the sight of Dean sitting there, topless and stubborn as ever. “He’s right, you know”.
Dean’s eyes flicked to you, and despite the irritation at being lectured, the corners of his mouth quirked into a softer, more genuine smile. “I’ve got two nurses now, huh?”, he teased, his voice low and warm.
“More like two babysitters”, you shot back, setting the coffee on the table and crossing your arms as you leaned against a chair. “You’re not exactly an easy patient”.
Sam chuckled, shaking his head as he packed up the first-aid kit. “She’s not wrong”, he said, giving Dean a final once-over before stepping back. “Just keep the sling on and try not to do anything stupid”.
Dean snorted, leaning back in his chair as Sam walked off. “That’s asking a lot, don’t you think?”, he called after him, his grin widening before turning his attention back to you. His green eyes sparkled with mischief as he gestured to his chest. “So, how do the stitches look? Think they add to my charm?”.
You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the small smile tugging at your lips. “Only you would think scars make you more charming”.
Dean leaned forward slightly, his gaze locking onto yours with that familiar intensity. “You like ’em, though”, he said softly, his voice dropping just enough to send a shiver down your spine.
You huffed, trying to keep your composure. “What I like”, you said, stepping closer, “is seeing you actually healing. So maybe listen to Sam for once and don’t rip them open”.
Dean’s smirk softened into something warmer as he reached out with his good hand, his fingers brushing against yours. “Yeah, yeah”, he murmured, his voice teasing but affectionate. “I’ll behave… for now”.
It had taken weeks, but Dean was nearly back to his old self—stubborn, self-reliant, and unwilling to show any sign of weakness. On the outside, he seemed fine, even smug about how well he’d healed, but something had shifted. He wasn’t the same with you anymore, and it hurt.
The past few nights had been the hardest. Dean, who had once insisted on having you by his side every night, now seemed to avoid asking you to join him. He’d retreat to his room alone, leaving you to wonder what you’d done wrong. He hadn’t touched you, hadn’t even kissed you, and the absence of his warmth was like a hole in your chest that kept growing wider.
You’d tried to brush it off, telling yourself he was just readjusting, that he’d come around. But as the days dragged on, his distance felt more deliberate, and your patience was wearing thin.
This morning, you found him in the kitchen. The bunker was quiet, Sam still in bed and the world still dark outside. Dean stood at the counter, his back to you, nursing a mug of coffee. His broad shoulders were hunched slightly, his posture tense despite the casual scene. He didn’t turn when you entered, but you knew he’d heard you—Dean always noticed everything.
“Morning”, you said softly, hesitant as you moved closer. Your voice carried the weight of everything you hadn’t said in the past few days.
Dean glanced over his shoulder, his face unreadable, before turning back to his coffee. “Morning”, he muttered, his voice gruff and distant.
You frowned, the knot in your stomach tightening. “You’re up early”.
“Couldn’t sleep”, he replied, taking a sip from his mug. His tone was clipped, and he didn’t elaborate.
You hesitated for a moment, your nerves tangling in your chest as you debated what to do. Dean was pulling away, for whatever fucking reasons and you couldn’t stand it anymore. You needed to try—needed to bridge the gap between you. Taking a shaky breath, you bit your lip and stepped closer, your fingers brushing softly against his biceps. His warmth seeped into your skin as you leaned in, standing on your tiptoes to bring yourself closer.
“Maybe that’s because I’m not in your bed”, you murmured softly, trying to inject a bit of lightness into your voice, though the vulnerability behind your words was impossible to miss.
Dean barely flinched at first, his grip tightening slightly on his coffee mug. His jaw ticked, his eyes flicking down to where your hand rested against his arm, but he didn’t pull away. The tension in his body was palpable, and while he didn’t respond, the subtle shift in his posture—his muscles tightening beneath your touch, the faint hitch in his breath—told you he’d felt it. Felt you.
What he didn’t want you to know was that the second you pressed yourself so close, the heat of your body against his, the softness of your voice, it hit him like a truck. Desire flared through him, unbidden and overwhelming. He could feel himself hardening instantly, his body betraying every effort to keep himself in check. But he clenched his jaw, forcing himself to stay still, to keep the space between you—even though every part of him screamed to close it.
“Don’t”, he said finally, his voice rough, though it lacked the edge it might have carried before.
You leaned back, crossing your arms, your gaze steady and determined despite the nervous energy thrumming through you. “Don’t what?”, you asked, your voice soft but firm. “What’s going on, Dean? You’ve been pulling away for days, and I don’t understand why”.
His green eyes flicked to yours for a moment before darting away, his shoulders tense and his posture rigid. He didn’t want to answer, didn’t want to admit what was really going on. The truth sat heavy in his chest, threatening to spill over, but Dean Winchester wasn’t the kind of man who talked about his feelings—not easily, anyway.
You didn’t know it, but Dean was ashamed. He hated how the last few weeks had unfolded, how vulnerable and weak he’d been in front of you. Dean loved being the strong one, the one who protected you, guided you, and showed you everything. He loved knowing he was your first for so many things—your first kiss, your first love, your first everything. It gave him a sense of purpose, a role he understood and embraced.
But now? Now, you’d seen him at his lowest. You’d seen him unable to stand on his own, struggling with pain, relying on you for things he should’ve been able to do himself. Instead of being the unshakable force in your life, he’d become someone you had to care for, someone you had to worry about. And that wasn’t what you deserved—not in his eyes.
“Dean”, you pressed, your tone tinged with frustration as you stepped closer again. “Talk to me. Please. You’re shutting me out, and I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me what’s wrong".
He let out a low, humorless chuckle, shaking his head. “That’s the problem, isn’t it?”, he muttered, his voice thick with self-loathing. “You shouldn’t have to fix anything. Not for me”.
You frowned, your heart twisting at the bitterness in his tone. “What are you talking about?”.
Dean finally met your gaze, and the vulnerability in his eyes made your breath catch. “You’ve seen too much”, he admitted quietly, his voice raw. “I’m supposed to be the strong one. The guy who keeps you safe, who takes care of you. Not some… burden. Not someone you have to look after like a damn kid”.
The confession hit you like a punch to the gut. You hadn’t expected that. “Dean, you’re not a burden”, you said firmly, your voice trembling slightly. “I wanted to help you. I wanted to take care of you. That’s what people do when they love each other”.
He shook his head, his lips pressing into a thin line. “You shouldn’t have to”, he murmured. “You’re too young for this—for me. You should be out there, living your life, being carefree. Not stuck here, babysitting me”.
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, the frustration bubbling to the surface as you crossed your arms tighter over your chest. “Dean”, you said, your voice laced with exasperation, “are we seriously doing this again? I thought we talked through all of that already”.
He looked away, his jaw tightening. “Yeah, well, maybe we didn’t talk enough”, he muttered, his voice low and gruff.
You took a step closer, forcing him to meet your gaze. “Dean, I don’t care about the age difference. I don’t care about any of the crap you keep throwing up as reasons why I shouldn’t be with you. None of it matters to me”.
“It should”, he snapped, his voice rising slightly before he caught himself and softened. “It should matter. You deserve better than this—better than me. I’m broken, and you’re… you’re young, and bright, and you shouldn’t be tied down to someone who—”.
“Stop”, you interrupted sharply, your voice steady even though your chest was tight. “Do you really think you get to decide what I deserve? What I want?”.
Dean faltered, his mouth opening and closing as he struggled to respond. You took another step forward, closing the distance between you until you were standing toe-to-toe. “Because if you do”, you continued, your voice trembling slightly with emotion, “then you’re not the man I thought you were”.
That seemed to hit him like a slap. His eyes widened slightly, and he looked at you as though you’d just punched him in the gut. “That’s not—”, he started, his voice breaking. “That’s not what I’m saying”.
“Then what are you saying, Dean?”, you challenged, your tone softening but still firm. “Because from where I’m standing, it sounds like you’re trying to push me away for reasons that don’t make sense”.
Dean’s jaw clenched tightly, his eyes darting away as if he could find the words he needed somewhere in the empty air. You could see the war in his mind, the way his shoulders tensed and his chest rose and fell with restrained emotion. He was holding back, but you weren’t going to let him get away with it this time.
“Dean”, you pressed, your voice firm but trembling with the weight of everything you’d been holding in. “Talk to me. Please".
He hesitated for a long moment, his lips pressing into a thin line as he fought to keep his emotions in check. But the dam finally broke, and when he spoke, his voice was heavy with self-loathing. “I hate that you saw me like that”, he admitted, his words tumbling out in a rush. “I hate that you had to take care of me, that you saw me weak, useless. I hate that I needed you like that”.
Your heart twisted painfully at his words. “Dean—”.
“No”.
Dean’s voice cracked as he cut you off, his emotions threatening to spill over despite his best efforts to keep them buried. He raked a hand through his short hair, his frustration evident in the sharp exhale that escaped his lips. “You don’t get it”, he said, his voice rising slightly before it dropped again, quieter, darker. “You weren’t supposed to see me like that. Not you”.
You stayed silent, giving him the space to say what he needed, even though your heart ached at the anger he was directing inward. He took a shaky breath, his green eyes blazing with a mix of shame and vulnerability that he hated showing, especially to you.
“Do you have any idea how it felt?”, he continued, his words clipped, raw. “Lying there, useless, while you ran around taking care of me like… like I’m some damn invalid? I’m supposed to be the one looking after you. Protecting you. Hell, I’m twice your age, and all I’ve been doing is dragging you down, making you worry about me instead of letting you live your life”.
His words hit you like a freight train, and your chest tightened at the weight of his pain. “Dean, that’s not—”.
“I’m supposed to be a man”, he bit out, his tone tinged with bitterness. “Not someone you have to babysit. Not someone who can’t even pull his own damn weight. And every time I looked at you these past few weeks, all I could see was how much I’ve failed you. I’m not invincible anymore, and the last thing I want is for you to see that”.
You stepped closer, but he flinched slightly, his defenses still firmly in place. His gaze flicked to you briefly before he looked away again, ashamed to let you see just how deep this wound went. It wasn’t just his pride—it was his entire sense of self. Dean had spent his life building himself into this protector, this unshakable force of nature, and the idea of you seeing him weak, human, was unbearable.
You stepped closer, your heart aching at the raw pain in Dean’s words. The tension between you was thick, his vulnerability hanging in the air like a fragile thread threatening to snap. You couldn’t let him spiral further into his own self-loathing. Without thinking, you reached out, your fingers trembling slightly as you tried to cup his jaw, to pull his gaze back to yours.
But before you could make contact, Dean’s hand shot out, grabbing your wrist with more force than he probably intended. The grip was firm, almost desperate, and you froze at the sudden contact. His eyes snapped to yours, wide and filled with something that looked like regret, as if he immediately realized what he’d done.
“Don’t”, he said hoarsely, his voice low and rough, his grip loosening slightly but not letting go entirely. “Don’t look at me like that. Like you don’t care about what you saw. Like it doesn’t matter”.
You stared at him, your pulse quickening as his words sank in. “Dean”, you whispered, your voice trembling, “it doesn’t matter. It never did”.
His jaw clenched, his grip finally releasing your wrist as he stepped back, running a hand over his face. “You don’t get it”, he muttered, his frustration spilling over. “It should matter. I’ve spent my whole life being the guy who fixes things, who protects people. And now, what the hell am I? A liability? Someone you have to take care of?”.
His words cut deep, but not in the way he intended. You took a steadying breath, refusing to let him push you away. “You’re still that guy, Dean”, you said firmly, stepping closer again despite his retreat. “You’re still the one who protects me, who keeps me safe. But even you’re allowed to need help sometimes. That doesn’t make you less of a man”.
He let out a bitter laugh, his shoulders sagging as he turned his head away, unable to meet your gaze. “It sure as hell feels like it”.
You stood there, your heart pounding as the weight of Dean’s self-loathing filled the room. His words hung in the air, sharp and raw, and you knew this wasn’t just about his injuries or the past few weeks—it was about how he saw himself. Dean had built his entire identity around being the protector, the strong one, and now he felt like he’d lost that. The man you loved was crumbling under the pressure of his own insecurities, and you couldn’t let him drown in it.
You hesitated, your mind racing as you tried to figure out what to say, how to reach him. You knew him too well, knew that this wasn’t something a simple “you’re enough” would fix. He needed something more, something that would remind him he was still the same man—the man you loved, the man who made your knees weak and your heart race.
It took every ounce of courage you had to finally say the words that had been swirling in your mind. You stepped closer, your voice trembling as you whispered, “Fuck me”.
Dean froze, his eyes snapping to yours in shock. For a moment, it was like time stood still. His green eyes widened, his jaw tightening as your words sank in. “What?”, he rasped, his voice barely audible.
You swallowed hard, your cheeks burning, but you didn’t back down. “I said… fuck me”, you repeated, your voice steadier this time.
Dean stood frozen for a beat, your words hitting him like a freight train. His green eyes darkened, the vulnerability and doubt in them giving way to something deeper, something primal. His jaw worked as he tried to process the sudden shift in the air, but it was clear your words had struck a nerve—the kind that didn’t just tug at his heart but at every fiber of his being.
You took a shaky step closer, your hand brushing against his chest as you looked up at him, your cheeks burning but your voice steady. “Show me, Dean”, you murmured, your tone soft but laced with a quiet confidence. “Show me how much of a man you are. Because I’m sure no one—no one—can give me what you do”.
Dean’s breathing hitched, his nostrils flaring as the weight of your words sank in. You pressed your hand more firmly against his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart beneath your palm.
“No one else can make my knees shake the way you do”, you continued, your voice dipping lower as you held his gaze. “No one else can kiss me, touch me, make me moan like you do. No one else can make me come so hard I forget my own name”.
The shift in Dean’s expression was immediate, the self-loathing that had clouded his features melting away as the heat of your words took over. His jaw tightened, and his good hand shot out, gripping your waist and pulling you flush against him. The intensity of his touch made your breath hitch, and you could feel him—rock hard against you, the blood from his worrying head clearly having taken a detour south.
Dean’s grip on your waist tightened, his chest rising and falling heavily as he stared down at you. His green eyes burned with an intensity that made your knees weak, but there was something softer beneath the hunger—a flicker of hesitation, of restraint that you recognized all too well.
“Please”, you murmured, your voice trembling with a mix of vulnerability and anticipation. You looked up at him with wide, pleading eyes, the innocence in your expression juxtaposed with the boldness of your words. “Show me how good it can feel, Dean. When you’re not holding back”.
His jaw clenched, his nostrils flaring as his good hand slid from your waist to your cheek, his thumb brushing lightly against your skin. “Sweetheart”, he rasped, his voice rough, strained. “You don’t know what you’re asking for.”
“Yes, I do”, you whispered, leaning into his touch, your heart pounding in your chest. “I know you’ve been holding back, Dean. Ever since… since the first time. But I’m not that girl anymore. I’m not scared, and I trust you”.
Dean groaned low in his throat, his thumb freezing against your cheek as he stared at you, his resolve crumbling under the weight of your words. “You have no idea what you do to me”, he muttered, his voice darkening with the primal edge you’d only seen glimpses of before. “No idea how many nights I’ve laid awake, thinking about giving you everything, about making you scream my name until you can’t even think straight”.
You whimpered softly at his confession, your body trembling against his as the heat between you grew unbearable. “You sure you can handle it?”.
“Yes”, you whispered, barely able to get the word out as the intensity of his presence overwhelmed you. “Please, Dean”.
———————————
A/N: Please let me know what you think.🥰 
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neogotchi · 4 months ago
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I've seen a lot of people talk about how scary Brennan's description of B² dying was but I don't see it that way at all.
yes, Evan killed her on a snap decision with no hesitation. no he does not regret it, because she deserved it for being a horrible bigot and hurting someone he loves. but he still has a deep respect for human life. he killed her quickly and painlessly, she didn't even have time to realize she was dying. he could have made her suffer but instead he describes her death in a sort of tender way.
"a silent custodian walking the halls, turning the lights off one by one. like someone putting a house to bed" these are gentle things he's describing. a soft goodnight as he leaves
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throwaway-yandere · 1 year ago
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You ever wonder how short human lives are? They have the average life span of maybe a pet to most elves, won't they? Or even less. Looking back, isn't it hard to imagine how hard it must be to move on from someone who only lives for a sliver of your own lifespan?
😋 anon
😋 if this is your attempt to making Elf!Haitham the theme of the blog I ain't doing it HAHAHAHAHAHA
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murderofravens · 12 days ago
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POLICEMAN INSTINCT
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pairing: hwang inho x fem reader
summary: after moving into a new apartment, you realize you're being stalked. thankfully, the older neighbour you've developed a tiny crush on just so happened to be a retired police officer who is determined to protect you.
warnings: age gap (reader is early twenties, he's late forties) slow burn, strangers to lovers, dry humping, masturbation, attempted sa (not by him) really mid smut, face slapping, scent kink, oral fixation, him being fatherly, reader is a bit of a perv, stalking, yander-ish vibes, touch starved reader, masochism, fluff, angst
word count: 13.4k
[feedback and reblogs are a writer's biggest motivation.]
MASTERLIST
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it was the cheapest apartment you could find online. while it looked a little shady on the outside, the inside looked comparatively pleasant and clean. the hallway was narrow, and the shoes were placed outside the respective rooms. you just hoped you would have your privacy, and the walls aren't too thin. you've watched enough thrillers to know nothing good comes out of thin walls.
"is this all the luggage you got?" the landlady asks you, eyeing your bag and a suitcase. you hadn't packed much— you'd figured you'd just buy things from stores instead of bringing them from home. you nod, and she hums before offering you the keys.
"pay rent on time, and don't make too much noise." she tells you kindly, and you give her a polite smile. honestly speaking, she was loud enough herself.
as you fumble with the lock, she turns to leave. faint footsteps can be heard before a man appears, and the landlady steps to the side to allow him room to move.
"oh, inho!" she announces albeit too cheerily— making you almost jump. you turn around to peek over her shoulder as she continues. "you haven't paid your rent yet, just wanted to remind you."
you spot him then— the handsome older man with soft, fluffy looking hair who happened to be carrying a plastic bag with two goldfish in it. the sight makes you smile, and he clenches his jaw as he ensures the landlady that he'll pay the rent soon enough.
she nods before gesturing towards you, "and this is your new neighbour! she came here to study, isn't that nice? don't be grumpy with her like you were with your last neighbours!"
ah. a beautiful older man as your neighbour. perhaps, life is worth living.
he looks up at you, and you freeze slightly, suddenly feeling self conscious that she put you on the spot. you give him a light wave, and he nods in acknowledgement before turning back to her. the lady pats his shoulder and leaves, and you go back to fumbling with the lock. he walks slowly to his own door, before turning to you— his expression slightly blank as he says something.
his voice is so quiet that you don't hear it at first. your eyebrows rise in question and you look at him, blinking.
"push the key in a little and then twist." he repeats, showing you the gesture with his own key. you look at him, a little confused before letting out an 'oh!' and following his steps— and as expected, the door opens. you turn to him and give him a sheepish smile, "thank you."
he doesn't return the smile but nods nonetheless. he opens his own door and steps inside, and then slams the door behind him, leaving you a little baffled.
you shrug the behaviour off and carry your bag to the bed. the room is clean, but you know exactly how you're going to personalize it so it looks more like you. you got your favourite bedsheets with you and everything, and the idea of decorating gives you a light sense of excitement.
it's when you decide to go to the bathroom that you realize you haven't gotten one of the most important things needed— hand soap. you wince to yourself as you look through your luggage, finding nothing. hesitantly, you look to the door, wondering if you should go out and buy some, or borrow some from your new neighbour, who although being incredibly handsome, also intimidates you slightly. you don't want to disturb him, but it's already late enough— you are too tired to go out.
you knock on his door, biting your lower lip in anticipation. you hope he's not asleep, you'd hate to be the one who wakes him up. he opens the door soon enough, looking you up and down, "can i help you?"
"i'm sorry, i hope you weren't asleep," you give him a polite smile, "i was wondering if i could borrow some handsoap? i forgot to buy some."
he frowns before nodding, closing the door. you fidget with your fingers while you wait, and he opens the door again before handing you a bottle.
you thank him, and he closes the door before you get to say goodnight. you don't allow yourself to think he's rude— you were the one disturbing him, afterall.
the next morning, you're up early. it's a new day of your independence and you want to explore the library before attending classes. you recheck if you have everything before exiting the room— only to be met with your neighbour.
"good morning!" you greet him cheerily, and he nods and replies with a quiet 'morning, kid.'
you figure he's just woken up, judging by the light rasp in his voice. it makes you feel flustered.
"wait— sir, hold on." you say quickly, and rush back inside your apartment. you deliver his handsoap back to him, and he rubs his eyes.
"thank you for this."
"going to college?" he asks, blinking a few times, and you nod. "is it far?"
"half an hour ride from the bus stop," you shift your weight on your feet. "not that far."
"that's good," he frowns, scratching his chin, "study well, kid."
you grin at him, perking up. you introduce yourself to him, and give a light bow. the corner of his mouth curls up slightly.
"i'm inho," he says, crossing his arms over his chest, "get going now, you don't wanna be late."
"oh yes, inho sir." you bow again and quickly rush down the stairs. you're pretty sure you hear him call out something like, 'drop the sir!' but you ignore it with a smile— your day already feeling brighter with the positive interaction, even if it was just polite small talk.
no matter how exhausting classes were, you were insistent on having a pleasant day. you knew the best way to survive any place was by making friends— and for now you didn't have many options other than your older neighbour.
at the bakery, as you eyed all the delicacies— you didn't know what to choose. you didn't know his preferences. does he like sweets? but what if he has diabetes? you immediately push the thought away, and simply stick to some nice bread that you could have with tea. and then while walking back to the bus stop, you buy some fishfood. a google search also lets you know that goldfish quite like frozen peas— so you buy a little of that too.
back in the apartment, you feel a little nervous as you knock on his door. there is no response, and you almost turn around and leave before a voice coming from behind you makes you jump.
"oh my god!" you shriek, twisting around, holding a hand to your chest. inho is standing behind you, looking tired as he gestures you to lower your voice. you immediately clasp a hand over your mouth and bow in apology before straightening up.
"you scared me!"
"forgive me," he blinks, eyebrows furrowing in confusion, "did you need something?"
a little distracted by his face, you almost forget what you had to say. but before you could embarrass yourself further, your mind brings you back to earth, "oh! yes— sorry."
"i wasn't sure if you liked sweets so i just got you bread. you know, as a thank you for helping me last night," you awkwardly push the bag towards him, "and uh— i saw you had goldfish so i got some fishfood for them. i also read they liked peas, so."
he looks down at the bag, then at you. you swallow hard, "i didn't poison it, i swear."
that elicits a chuckle out of him, and he gently takes the bag. your fingers brush together, and you try not to chase the warmth of his hand. perhaps, you're a little touch starved.
"there was no need for this," he says kindly. you step to the side to allow him to access his door. "but thank you."
"do you wanna eat together?" you blurt without thinking. "i mean, if you're not busy. no pressure, i'm sure you have things to do but—"
"relax," he gives you a light smile— it makes the cute little crinkles by his eyes more prominent. it's contagious and you smile back. he clears his throat, "there's a park not far from here. would you like to walk with me?"
"yes!" you say a little too excitedly before lowering your voice. "yes— absolutely. hold on."
you recklessly open your door and toss your bag inside. with a glance over your shoulder to ensure he's not looking, you quickly reapply your lipgloss before turning to him and locking the door behind you.
"ready?" he asks, a hint of a smile on his face. his voice is teasing, and you can't help but grin in return.
as the sun set, pink and orange hues danced across your skin like glitter. you could see people walking, chatting; couples holding hands and feeding each other cotton candy. it made your heart pang a little, so you redirected your attention to the sky, where birds seemed to be flocking back to their homes. you would've taken a picture, but you decided against it.
"have you been here long?" inho asks, and you turn to see his eyes looking at you intently. "liking it so far?"
"just a few months," you answer politely, walking with a skip in your step. he doesn't realize how grateful you are that he's talking to you— you've felt rather lonely these past few weeks. "i got a scholarship and the opportunity was too good to miss. it's really nice, much better than my hometown, i'd say. i'm relieved to be here, even though it's taking some time to adjust."
"you can come to me if you need anything," he says softly, and you give him a grateful nod, gaze full of barely disguised admiration.
"thank you, i appreciate it."
"and your family?" he asks again, his hands clasped behind his back. he looks so authoritative this way, you think, he's actually adorable. and kind.
"they're back home," you twist around and walk backwards, facing him as you mimic his stance. hands behind your back. he smiles at your antics and it makes your heart skip a beat. "i talk to them regularly."
"that's good." he hums, nodding, a glint in his eyes. "kids don't realize how much parents worry. make sure you don't mix with the wrong crowd."
"noted, sir." you tease, and he snorts.
"drop the 'sir,' will ya?"
"only if you drop the 'kid,' sir."
that makes him laugh, and you feel a strange sense of pride at your little achievement. the park is pleasant, and you're more amazed by how well maintained it is. he mindlessly guides you to a bench with a light touch on your waist, and your stomach feels tingly at the action.
he brings out the bag, tears the bread in half and gives you the bigger one, despite your protests.
"those flowers are so pretty," you point towards a flower bed, and he hums nonchalantly.
"never met a girl who doesn't like flowers."
"what's not to like?" you shift to face him properly, "they maintain this park really well. it's very clean."
"i suppose we do value cleanliness a lot," he looks around, his cheeks puffing up like a squirrel as he eats. it looks so utterly cute, you would have cooed if you had no social cues. "i remember seeing them plant those last year. some kids accidentally skated over the left side and had to pay a fine."
"ouch," you wince, eyebrows furrowing. "say, sir, what do you do for work, if you don't mind me asking?"
he stiffens slightly and stops chewing. you contemplate killing yourself right there out of sheer dramatics— you don't want to make him uncomfortable because this is your only chance at developing a relationship with someone that is not your pillow or your phone.
"i was a police officer," he answers, swallowing his food. he claps the dust off, wipes his hand on his pants after, "retired."
"retired?!" you gasp unintentionally, "you don't look that old."
he throws his head back and laughs— his eyes crinkling. you're mesmerized, the mere sound of it making your heart feel warm. which, you think, is not normal. not after interacting with someone who is still a stranger.
"how old do you think i am?" he asks between chuckles.
you give him a sheepish smile, delaying your response by choosing to finish the bread first. "i'd say.. late thirties or early forties."
he winces with a groan, dramatically clutching his heart, "try late forties. almost fifty."
it makes you fucking giggle— like some lovesick fool. a schoolgirl with a crush. it's so embarrassing, but you decide to let yourself have this one thing— to enjoy a conversation without thinking about how stupid or obvious you might look to the outsider.
"you don't look that old!" you protest, "seriously! plus, you're pretty fit for your age!"
the last comment was not something you had decided to say, but you're bad at thinking before speaking. you prefer to be just as shocked at your responses as the other person.
"you think i'm fit?" he asks a little teasingly— there's a smug smile on his face, and you feel idiotic. of course, a man like him would know he's fit. he's handsome, he must hear it everyday. he must be so amused that you decided to state the obvious. and you clear your throat, your cheeks suddenly feeling hot. you're sure you can hear your ears ringing— and you swallow the embarrassment.
"you know you're fit." you huff softly, and he shakes his head. his smile only grows bigger as he looks away, instead choosing to watch the sky darken.
you're glad he doesn't say much after, and the two of you fall into a comfortable silence. you hope it is comfortable for him, atleast, because there's a storm brewing in your head— berating you for being so obvious. perhaps, you need to find a boyfriend soon, or your little impulsive comments would get you in trouble. you don't even know if the man is single, for god's sake. your eyes drift down to his hands— no ring.
"you live alone?" you blurt out again, despite your better judgement. it's such a stupid question— the apartment rooms are tiny, of course he lives alone. are you stupid?!
he turns to look at you, eyebrow quirked. the air feels heavy now, because he looks tense again, almost thoughtful.
"yes," he nods, frowning slightly. his lips quirk down, and he swallows hard. "my wife passed away a few years back."
"oh." shit, you think to yourself. way to go, idiot. "i'm so sorry."
"it's fine," he gives you a smile that doesn't reach his eyes.
you straighten up, "if there's anything i can do—"
he stands up abruptly, adjusts his pants. your eyes drift down a little before you physically force them to look up at him again.
"we should get going." he says, rolling his shoulders back. he gives you a hand, "it's getting late. you must have class tomorrow."
'it's sunday,' you almost mumble, but thankfully your mouth keeps shut this time. you shyly take his palm and stand up, and he pulls his hand back to run it through his hair almost awkwardly. you try not to miss the way it felt— which is insane. you shouldn't be thinking this way.
the walk back is relatively silent, and you internally beat yourself up about ruining the mood. you might be overthinking this, but this man genuinely seems nice, and you don't really have anyone else to rely on outside of university.
'if there's anything i can do,' you were saying. what could you have done, you idiot? what were you offering to a widowed man twice your age? fucking dummy.
lost in thoughts as you walk up the stairs, your foot misses a step and you trip. before you can fall, inho is stabilizing you with a swift grab, and you yelp as you crash into him, squeezing your eyes shut. instinctively, you grab his arms as tightly as you can.
"oh god," you take a sharp breath, your head falling forward onto his chest more out of shame than relief. "am i dead?"
"clumsy girl." he chuckles, and you open your eyes, hoping that once you do you'll wake up to your room; concluding this mess as a nightmare.
but no, your vision adjusts and is met with his beautiful face. and he looks amused. you can feel his arm wrapped around your waist— very respectfully even though you wouldn't mind it the opposite way. you feel warm all over and the way you've been acting since you met this man is driving you crazy. perhaps you might have to sleep the bad luck off. he gently lets go of you, and you pull away quickly, cheeks flushed. you lean against the wall, groaning.
"still alive," he remarks playfully. you tiredly run a hand down your face.
"i'll just take a nap." you mumble defeatedly, and he nods. you gesture towards the stairs. "thanks for that."
he steps aside and puts his hands in his pockets, and you fumble with your lock and go into your room as fast as possible— ready to bury your head in pillows and avoid this man as much as possible.
ᥫ᭡.
the first weird instance happened during work. you'd signed up for an internship after college hours— it was more of volunteer work. no actual pay other than some incentives based upon performance, which you were okay with. you just needed some experience for your portfolio. most of it included you getting your seniors coffee, designing posters and promoting new events for college.
you were giving some finishing touch ups for the newest poster for a debate competition when a package was placed before you. you looked up at your classmate, confused.
"these are for you." she said.
you frowned, looking at the package — a bouquet, to be specific. it was nothing too extravagant— but flowers all the same. white jasmines paired with some baby breaths, finished with a little bow.
"who sent these?" you asked, visibly baffled. she shrugged, took one look at your work before walking off. you sat straighter, checking the bouquet for any card— there was nothing.
you were confused as you walked back to the apartment. the flowers were a nice surprise— but they also had you worried. you couldn't help but wonder if it was some guy from work, but you don't remember getting close with anyone, atleast not enough for gifts. your confusion was evident on your face as you reached your door. holding the bouquet in one hand, you fumbled with the lock.
"those are nice," you heard a voice behind you. you turned, a smile appearing on your face at the sight of inho.
"hello!" you greeted, facing him. he glanced at the flowers, gaze unreadable, before turning to you.
"you came later than usual." he remarked casually.
"yeah, i've taken up this internship thing for college." you replied politely, leaning against your door. he nodded in understanding, tilting his head towards the bouquet.
"it's going well, i see."
you chuckled awkwardly, "i don't know where they came from." you glanced at the flowers, leaning in to inhale the scent. "my classmate said these were for me but there was no card. it's weird."
"perhaps it's a secret admirer," he joked dryly, unlocking his own door, "stay safe, kid."
you frowned at his words, nodding, before entering your own room.
the flowers didn't stop after. almost every two days, a new bouquet would appear. it was ridiculous. one day it would be just pretty tulips, the other it would be white clovers. it was driving you absolutely insane. and the worst part was, you had no idea who it was from.
you'd go to class, do your work, take the flowers, and go home. inho would make a joke about you being popular, and you would shrug it off and offer him some tea, and you'd pretend you didn't secretly hope he was the one sending them to you.
"maybe a guy has a crush on you," he'd said once. you were sitting at the stairs, analyzing the flowers as if your stare would prompt them to magically start speaking— these were camellias, as the google search suggested. pink. you'd glared at him tiredly, eyes begging for some answers. from anyone.
he'd raised his hands in defence, chuckling a little. he had taken a seat on the stairs beside you, looking at the flowers himself, eyebrows furrowed in focus and lips drawn into a thoughtful pout.
"did you know camellias express longing?" he stated casually.
you'd looked at him, quirking an eyebrow, "how'd you know that?"
he gave the flowers a somber smile, a dejected look in his eyes. "you learn certain things when you get married."
your curiosity had faded into sadness then. immense melancholy for the kind man sitting beside you.
and because of course, he was thinking of his wife. he'd probably given his wife flowers, adored her with everything he had. kissed her and made love to her, and then life took her from him.
you don't stand a chance. not even in your fantasies.
ᥫ᭡.
you were being watched.
you realized this not long after receiving your first bouquet. few days later, you'd seen a man wearing the same jacket everywhere you went. it was making you feel uneasy. you could never see his face— he would disappear almost instantly after you turned around.
first, you recognised the feeling while shopping for groceries. it made you feel so terrified, you ditched the milk and went straight home.
you'd had to borrow some milk from inho that day, and thankfully he had extra which he generously gave to you. even offered to make you some tea. you didn't know if he noticed your distress, but if he did, you were thankful he didn't ask you about it.
the next, it was during daytime. you were waiting for your bus when you saw the glimpse of that jacket— and once again, it disappeared almost as soon as you recognised it.
it was after the fourth day that you had decided that you'd had enough. you were violently knocking on inho's door— teary eyed and scared out of your mind.
he opened the door, his agitation blending into worry at the sight of your face. he utters your name so softly, and you hold back the urge to scream. "what's wrong?"
"you were a police officer, right?" you look at him, panic stricken. "i think i'm being watched. i don't think— i know i'm being watched. i swear, someone is stalking me, first the flowers—"
"hold on, take deep breaths," he puts his hands on your shoulders, guiding you to breathe along with him. you follow, and feel your heart rate calm down. he looks out into the hallway before stepping aside. "come inside."
reluctantly, you walk into his room. you realize then that it's the first time you've been in his apartment— and the idea, even in your moment of suffering, makes you feel warm. excited, even. there's a few books on his bed, and he puts them aside on his table and makes room for you to sit. you can see the goldfish in the tank, and the packet of fish food you bought for them sits by it.
"i like van gogh too." you mumble shakily, pointing at the book on his desk. he hums, guiding you to sit.
you take a seat on his bed, gaze lowered as you fidget with your hands. he grabs a chair and sits on it, facing you. he spreads his legs, and you have to take a deep breath to focus on the actual problem at hand.
"tell me everything," he says softly, crossing his arms over his chest. his shirt is folded up to his elbows, and you physically force yourself not to stare at the veins mapped across his arms.
"the flowers," you start, "they've gotten more frequent. i don't know who's sending them to me. i've asked everyone at work. i don't even talk to guys that much for any of them to be doing all that. and i've been seeing this guy follow me everywhere—"
"you've seen his face?" he asks, expression serious and focused. he looks even more handsome like this.
you pause, before shaking your head no.
"it's stupid, i know." you protest, leaning forward for emphasis, "it's like— a shadow. i haven't seen his face but i know he's following me. i think he might be behind the flowers too. but i'm just scared— i know i'm being stalked, you have to believe me."
"i do believe you," he shakes his head, leaning forward. his hand reaches out and grabs your own, "but you haven't seen his face, so it'll be hard to catch him. but trust me, i will not let anyone hurt you. do you understand?"
"i'm scared." you admit, voice small. you're a woman and you live alone— you don't have many friends and absolutely no family right now. you don't want to talk to your mother and worry her. you're terrified.
"hey, no tears," he whispers, thumb brushing across your cheek. you almost feel hypnotized at the action— you try not to lean into the comfort of his touch. "you'll be okay, i promise. you're safe with me."
you sniffle as you look at him, your hand limp in his hold. you tear your gaze away and nod, his words making you feel oddly at ease. you fidget with his hand before mindlessly holding his finger, and he smiles softly at that. with his free hand, he pats your head, "i have an idea."
you perk up slightly as you blink at him.
"why don't i pick you up from college?" he says softly, "it's not that far. it's hard to do anything during daytime, but in the evening i can come pick you up if you're scared. he'll see a man with you and back off himself."
you freeze, eyes widening. you can't ask him to do that. you chuckle awkwardly, face flushing as you look at your lap.
"i can't ask you to do that, it's fine."
"are you sure?" he asks, leaning down to make eye contact with you. it makes your heart flutter. "it's no issue for me. i think a walk everyday will keep me even more fit."
you can't help but giggle at that— and he smiles too. he grabs your chin and lifts your head up; and your breath hitches.
"come on, give me a real smile." he urges softly. it's so silly coming from him, that you can't help but grin— your fears temporarily forgotten. he pinches your cheek at that and nods in approval, "there she is."
"stop," you huff half heartedly, playfully slapping his hand away. you wish you could hide in your pillows— or dig a hole for yourself because of how flustered you feel. you can't believe how he could do this to you— it's strange how happy he can make you with just a few words. he tucks your hair behind your ear.
"why don't you have dinner and get some sleep? you must be tired."
you nod, blinking tiredly as you stand up. reluctantly, you let go of his finger, and he stands up as well as he guides you to the door. you look back at him, and he meets your gaze.
"thank you," you whisper softly, "you really made me feel so much better, you have no idea."
"i'm glad." he whispers back, and you just stare at him— at his sweet face and his kind eyes. you swallow hard, and you wonder if you hallucinated his eyes dart to your lips. either way, you push your thoughts aside.
he clears his throat and looks away, giving your shoulder a comforting squeeze. "off you go."
"goodnight," you call back, and he nods with a smile before closing the door.
the next day after college— a miracle happened. a rather good looking classmate of yours approached you and praised you on your work. je-hyun, he introduced himself. he shared a few classes with you, and you remember him asking you for a pencil once. you two ended up bonding over liking the same shows, and he'd asked you if you were single. you two shared numbers, and you gave yourself an imaginary pat on the back.
apparently, the flowers had become a bit of a man repellent. he'd been wary of approaching you because he assumed you had a boyfriend, but you cleared the misunderstanding with a convincing explanation. you didn't want to take any chances.
this time, there were no flowers.
after work, the two of you walk out of the building. he stops you with a gentle hand on your arm, and you turn to him. he opens his mouth to speak before his gaze falls on something over your shoulder, and he freezes.
you frown, looking over your shoulder in return.
inho greets you, getting off the wall he was leaning against with a cheery smile. you look at him, baffled.
"hey! uh—" you look at your— date? coworker? before turning to inho, "inho sir! what are you doing here?"
inho glances at je-hyun as well, eyes darting up and down indifferently before he turns to you. he smiles, patting your shoulder. "i had some work nearby so i thought i'd pick you up. especially seeing how scared you were last night. is that okay?"
he was so considerate— it immediately made your heart melt. you almost forgot about your date by your side, and you turned to him apologetically. you could always meet with je-hyun, but you cannot ask inho to go home after he took some time out for you. your decision is immediate. "i'm sorry, i should get going. see you tomorrow?"
je-hyun gave you a tight lipped smile, nodding. "see you, goodnight." he looked at inho warily, giving him a slight bow out of respect. you didn't get to see inho's response before he was wrapping an arm around your shoulder and dragging you away.
"i'm assuming that's the flower kid," he remarked casually, a small grin on his face as he walked straight ahead. you stumbled a little with his pace, but shook your head.
"no, i don't think that's him. he assumed i had a boyfriend because of the flowers," you smile slightly, thinking back to the conversation.
"you can't be sure with boys like him," he muttered, putting his hands in his pockets. you immediately started missing the feeling of his arm wrapped around you. you feel insane for even thinking this way. especially considering you have a potential? love interest— someone your age.
"i can't believe you really came to pick me up," you change the topic, looking up at him. he doesn't know if the stars in your eyes are a reflection of the lights or your admiration. "you didn't have to."
"i know i didn't have to," he smirked slightly, looking around. "but like i said, i was in the area. and i didn't feel right leaving you by yourself. who knows what could happen to a little girl like you?"
the last line was teasing, and you gave him a little push for that. of course, he was unphased. but for the sheer dramatics, he pretended to be hurt— clutching his side and groaning like he had been shot. it makes you giggle, and you hide your mouth behind your hand, internally berating yourself for acting like a fool again. he chuckles before stopping you and dragging you back, "let's have dinner before we get back. you must be hungry."
you blink, your heartbeat suddenly rising. like a date? you wanted to ask, but decided against it. of course it's not a date. he could be your father, for god's sake. he's old enough. and his heart belongs to someone else. you doubt he'd ever think about dating someone like you. it sounds like a far fetched dream.
you nodded, shaking your thoughts off. "yeah, that sounds good."
and that entire night, you didn't feel the eyes of the stalker, nor the fear, even once.
ᥫ᭡.
you got the flowers again. yellow hyacinths paired with deep red roses— the colors creating a striking contrast against each other. so bright, it almost blinded your eyes. salient as the emotions the flowers represent— you feel like whoever is sending you these, is not happy with you.
"who keeps sending these?" the voice makes you jump, and you turn to see je-hyun standing over you. he narrows his eyes playfully. "is there an obsessed ex i should be worried about?"
you wave his concerns off, chuckling awkwardly, "none." you bite your lower lip, looking at the object of your torment placed on the table. you bite down on the end of your pen, thinking. "i'm actually worried. i haven't even met anyone who would do this."
"what about that strange man who came to pick you up?" he remarks offhandedly— and you almost take offense to his words.
"that's inho-sir. and he's not strange," you say a little too sharply, surprising even yourself, "he's my neighbour and he used to be a police officer. he came to pick me up because i was scared. he's very kind and would never do something like this."
"got it." je-hyun could sense your sudden hostility, and he tries to lighten up. "so he's like your dad?" he jokes, and you chuckle at that, giving him a shove with a huffed 'shut up.'
he asks you out to a party after, and you tell him to pick you up at nine.
the journey back home was tantalizing once again— there was a seed of dread brewing inside you. you felt increasingly scared as you travelled, so you picked crowds in hopes of blending in. you wished you had inho with you right now.
you took a nap after work and immediately got ready. you didn't have a lot of party wear with you, you don't like the overwhelming crowds or noises. you're easy to overstimulate, so you tend to stay away from parties. they're always much more bearable with people you know better, anyway. but you make do with what you have, and your lip gloss saves the day as always. there's a knock on your door and you open it to je-hyun looking cute as ever— with his boyish, dimpled smile.
"i wanted to bring you flowers," he says innocently, holding out a box, "but i feel like you're traumatized by them so i got chocolate inst—"
he doesn't get to finish his sentence before you're letting out the most ridiculous laugh ever. he's adorable, and this alone has made you like him so much. you compose yourself, stand straighter and place a kiss upon his cheek— leaving an imprint of your lipgloss on his skin. he blushes, and you grin. "thank you—"
"date night?"
you both turn around to the voice— inho has stepped out of his room, looking cozy and fresh. wearing a sweater vest over a crisp white shirt, finishing with a large black coat. he looks so... soft and gentle. it almost distracts you.
you bite your lower lip, suddenly feeling flustered. his gaze is unreadable as it drags down your body— and out of respect, you adjust your dress a little.
"i'm je-hyun," your date takes the initiative to introduce himself, bowing deeply. there's slight humour in his voice, "you must be her father—"
you elbow him in the ribs, and he doubles over. inho lets out a snort, looking down. you notice he doesn't introduce himself in return. he clenches his jaw, tongues his cheek before looking at you with a glint in his eyes. you wonder if he looks angry, but you can't really tell. it wouldn't make sense anyway.
"going somewhere?" you ask, voice a little high pitched out of sheer nervousness. you don't know why, but you feel rather awkward. you don't understand why you feel like you're betraying him, in a way. perhaps it's because inho has quite literally been the only man you've been regularly interacting and engaging with so far. that's why standing with another guy in front of him feels so... strange. no other reason.
he clears his throat and nods, "out for drinks with an old colleague." he frowns after, cocks his head towards your legs. your dress is not really short, it comes to your knees. but you still feel exposed in front of him.
"don't you feel cold?"
"i'll wear a coat," you tell him, snatching your coat off from where it was hanging behind your door. "well— um. see you."
inho is the first to leave— after giving your date an up and down look of what you can only consider disgust or disapproval. je-hyun pouts a little as he straightens up, before grabbing your hand and dragging you down the stairs.
the party fucking sucks. the noises are too loud, the lights are too flashy, and everyone is drunk. you don't understand their drunken rambles, and you almost tripped twice. you've stumbled into atleast three couples making out, and you don't know how to dance without looking stupid.
je-hyun had kissed your cheek before going off to get drinks. a sprite for you, as you'd demanded. except he never returned. you know life isn't a movie, but at this moment, you'd rate yours a solid 1.5 stars.
a girl accidentally steps on your foot and you wince, hopping on one leg as you go out the back door. there, you put on your coat tighter around yourself, shaking as you glare at the wall in front of you.
you could really use a cigarette. and you don't even smoke.
you bring out your phone and shoot je-hyun a text. it is left on delivered, and you grunt in irritation before looking to the side.
defeated, angry and hurt at being abandoned, you immediately choose to leave. you hold back the urge to send je-hyun a text calling him an absolute dick, and try not to make eye contact with anyone as you walk down the road. it's late, the sky is dark and you have another fear on your mind right now. you look out for a taxi— but none come to your rescue. your luck has run out.
you mutter all sorts of curses to yourself on the way back— until you hear footsteps. you pause, suddenly feeling that same dread seize you again.
you're being followed.
you start walking quickly, and the prickling sensation of being watched doesn't leave. you turn around abruptly — and there's no one there, except from a few friend groups walking out of the club. you pick up your pace and start jogging back, looking around for taxis. you can see the park near your apartment in the distance — and you let out a breath of relief.
you hear a little 'meow,' and you immediately turn around. you love cats— you've been dying to have one. despite your better judgement, you walk closer to the dark alley the voice came from. a kitten is there, meowing at you. your heart melts into a puddle and you coo, instantly following it. you look around, there's no stores nearby, or you would've bought it some food. you gently pick it up, scratching it's ears.
"its my cat."
there's a shabby man standing in front of you— reeking of alcohol and trash. you freeze, looking at him awkwardly as you let go of the cat. his eyes trail down, settle on the silver of your skin peeking out from under the coat. instinctively, you wrap it tighter around yourself, and he steps forward, grinning.
"i have more! do you want to see?"
you give him an awkward, polite smile. in situations like these, its best to subtly pull yourself away. you take a step back and shake your head, "no, thank you."
"it won't take long," he convinces, a hand reaching out. "you could even take one with you—"
you're turning around to run, but his hand grabs your arm and drags you closer. you scream, but he shushes you, pinning you to the wall. you feel like throwing up. you raise your knee and kick him in the shin, and he lets go of you. you quickly start dashing off, but your heel oh so conveniently breaks and you trip. you fall face first onto the floor and his hand grabs your leg and starts dragging down.
you let out a shriek and kick at his arm, but he's lunging at you, trying to grab your face with his dirty hands. you take that moment to release your frustrations of the day upon him— with all the strength you can muster, you pull your head back before crashing it against his face.
"you bitch!" he screams and so do you— and he falls back, clutching his bleeding nose. he tries to lunge at you again, but you scream as loud as you can, trying to crawl away from him.
someone grabs you and starts pulling you up, and out of reflex you thrash and try to hit the other person. your wrist is clasped firmly in a bigger hand, and the sight of inho's face immediately fills you with relief. he helps you up, and before you can express gratitude, he's pushing you back and moving forward.
you flinch at the sound of the first kick. it happens so fast that you don't even realize it— your eyes widen as inho kicks the man over and over again. the sound of his bones cracking fills your ears, and you almost gag at the sight of the blood mixing with the dirty ground. inho looks unphased for the most part— except he's panting, and his hair is falling across his forehead. sweat runs down the side of his face, and he wordlessly turns around, eyes cold in a way that is foreign to you.
perhaps it's the shock of the sudden turn of events, but you can't speak. all you can think about is the rage that is so prominently etched onto his beautiful face, and how easily he stomped on that man like he was nothing. and how thankful you are that he showed up somehow when you needed him. after your date abandoned you. like magic.
he walks up to you, and you let out a shaky breath before allowing your head to fall onto his chest. he squeezes his eyes shut and pats your back, before cupping your cheeks and lifting your head up. he analyzes your face, gently caresses the new scratches on your chin before his gaze drops to your shoes— a broken heel and multiple scratches on your knees.
"are you okay?" he asks softly, and you hold his palm, ensuring it stays pressed against your cheek. you look at him like he's your only saviour— and you feel that way too. your lips wobble and he looks away.
"tired." you mumble— throat feeling dry. you feel dizzy, and your legs hurt. you're pretty sure you feel like throwing up too.
wordlessly, he bends down slightly, gestures towards his back with a tilt of his head. "come on."
you hesitate, looking at him with shock, before gently allowing your front to splay across his back. you link your arms around his shoulders, and he wraps his hands around your legs. he lifts you like you weigh nothing, and you lean your weight into him, resting your head along his shoulder. he shifts slightly so you're more comfortable, his hold on you steady and confident. one of your shoes drop, and you don't look back at it. you don't care anyway.
you hear another faint meow before the kitten is out of earshot.
you resist the urge to cry as he carries you up the stairs. you sniffle, burying your head in his back, deeply inhaling the comforting smell of the man you've started associating with home. your legs dangle off his sides and your heart feels heavy. his silence makes you feel so eternally grateful.
you don't know how you got lucky enough to have someone like him by your side.
he doesn't even put you down when you reach your apartment— merely mumbles a soft, "keys?" and you straighten up slightly, shuffling in your coat pocket before leaning forward to open the lock— unable to resist the urge to chuckle just slightly at how endearing this whole situation is, despite everything.
he takes you inside, and your cheeks flush slightly. your clothes are all over the bed— thanks to your indecisiveness while getting ready for the date. he gently places you down on the floor, and you sniffle, quickly covering the clothes with a blanket— eliciting a snort out of him.
"why were you coming home alone?" is the first question he asks. "what happened to the kid you were with?"
"I don't know," you whisper, looking away. you suddenly feel embarrassed— how immature, how careless je-hyun looks in front of a man like inho. you never should've went on that date. "he just.. he disappeared at the party."
he clenches his jaw, his hands resting on his hips as he looks to the side. there's another vein popping in his neck— and if you had the guts, you'd lean up and kiss it.
"that little boy—" he spits with vitriol, the words coming from a deep place of resentment. he takes a deep breath, tries to calm himself, "he never should've left you alone. you should've never decided to walk home alone. why didn't you take a taxi?"
you swallow hard— he certainly doesn't make you miss your father. he's doing his job for him.
"there were no taxis."
"why didn't you just call me?" he asked again, stepping forward, eyebrows raising. "i could've come picked you up."
you pause. you didn't know that was an option. you really didn't think of it.
"I don't know." you replied lamely.
"didn't you say you have a stalker?" he snaps, "how can you be so careless?"
"i really don't want a lecture right now," you reply dejectedly, looking away. your voice lowers to a mumble as you rub your arm. "tonight has been harsh enough."
his face softens and he sighs, running a hand through his hair. he throws his head back and looks at the ceiling, squeezes his eyes shut before looking at you again.
"forgive me." he says earnestly, tilting his head, "i worry about you."
you nod, fidgeting with your coat. he watches you silently before stepping back.
"you should take a warm shower. i'll grab the first aid and take care of that." he gestures towards his chin, and the sting on your own chin starts to settle in.
this time, you don't argue. you toss your coat to the side, grab your toiletries, don't even bother asking him to leave before you go into the bathroom and wipe the memories of this night off you.
inho is waiting on your bed when you return. you hope he didn't hear the sound of you crying— it was rather pathetic. your skin is flushed with how much you scratched it, and worst of all, you ended up gently banging your forehead against the cold wall over how badly your date went. your fault for thinking you could have a positive experience with a man.
you clutch your bathrobe tightly, the water from your hair soaking through the towel. you put it down, and he gets up from the bed and pats down the empty space, telling you to sit down.
you notice your bed looks a little neater than you left it. your clothes are folded nicely by the corner and your bedsheet is straightened properly. it makes you blush, and you give him a sheepish look. he doesn't acknowledge it as he kneels before you.
"you don't have to—" you start, half heartedly.
"let me."
his voice is soft yet so firm, you end up following through. there is nothing wrong with wanting to be taken care of by a man like him. you shift slightly, hoping that he takes the flush of your cheeks as an effect of your warm shower.
he settles your leg on his thigh, and shifts your bathrobe just slightly so your knee is exposed. he examines it before applying some ointment on it. the touch of his gentle fingers almost has you whimpering— but you clear your throat and fidget nervously with your fingers. he grabs hold of your ankle, looking thoughtful as his thumb brushes across your skin.
the silence between you two feels heavy and suffocating. the tension could be cut with a knife— and the way he touches you is so intimate, it makes you want to climb into his arms and just cling to him till you fall asleep.
thankfully, he makes the decision for you. he places your feet back down and straightens slightly, wordlessly applies some cream on your chin too. it stings a little but it's bearable. he hums, closes the box and puts it aside.
as you open your mouth to speak, you can hear multiple notifications coming through your phone. his eyes snap up, and so do yours— you reach out and grab it out of your coat pocket, and he glares at it as you check.
"is it the boy?" he asks.
you bite your lip, glancing at the multiple texts of je-hyun apologizing through the notification panel. you're bitter, and you don't want to respond, not right now. inho grabs your hand, takes your phone away and places it by your side.
"you shouldn't go back to him," he advices quietly. there's an intensity in his eyes, an emotion that is hard to read. "after tonight, he's proven he's not worth your time. he abandoned you."
you bite your lower lip. he's right— but then again, a part of you wants to ask. so who should i go to? who is worth my time?
you clear your throat and shift on the bed.
"thank you for tonight," you whisper instead, allowing yourself more time to think about how to deal with je-hyun.
"thank you?" he chuckles, amused, "you'd taken care of that guy pretty well yourself. i just finished the job."
"but still," you protest, feeling a sense of pride at his comment. "he would've grabbed me again if you hadn't come."
he snorts, looking down at his lap. and your words remind you of an important question.
"how'd you know i needed help?"
he tenses, his eyes snapping up to yours again. you can't tell what he's thinking, but he merely chuckles, "i was walking in the park when you screamed. immediately alerted me." he raises a finger to his ear. "policeman instinct."
you laugh at that. his explanation makes sense. of course he has a policeman instinct. you wouldn't expect anything else.
he stands up, groaning as he stretches a little. the action makes his sweater rise up, revealing a silver of his tummy— and your eyes dazedly drop down, glancing at it with barely disguised hunger, until he's relaxing again. you snap yourself out of your trance and cough, looking away.
he looks down at you, all tired eyes and soft hair. in moments like these, you think of how sweet he looks. so gentle, and kind, and caring. sweet mister inho, who has been so generous, protecting you, caring for you, wanting nothing in return. who gave you a piggyback ride home when you felt like you would pass out from terror, who put cream on your wounds with the tenderness of a parent or a lover.
perhaps it's that sentiment, your touch starved nature, or your horrible day that prompted you to do it. or lust from that little glimpse of his skin. either way, you're fucked. you lean forward and wrap your arms around his waist, immediately burying your head in his stomach as you whisper thank yous to him— clinging to him like a lifeline.
he stumbles back in shock, stiffens slightly before relaxing— awkwardly shifting to accommodate you. he laughs slightly, and the rumble sends happy vibrations through your whole body. his hand settles on your head, gently playing with your hair.
"i told ya," he said gently, an amused smile on his face. "i won't let anyone hurt you."
a little embarrassed, you let go of him, pulling away and tucking your hair behind your ear.
"sorry," you mumble sheepishly.
"it's fine," he nods, taking a deep breath. he adjusts his sweater, looks around before giving you another smile. he pats your head. "get some sleep, okay? it's late. i'll check on you tomorrow."
you nod, and he leaves. you bite your lower lip as you replay the hug, and don't find the effort to get up and dress yourself before you're squealing into your pillow— all thoughts of je-hyun forgotten temporarily.
you don't see je-hyun in classes the next day, but he comes to work after college. the first thing he does is approach you, even when you push your head into your tablet while trying to imply how you absolutely do not want to talk to him.
"i can explain," he says with worry, "someone drugged me. i didn't want to leave you alone. i swear, i woke up in the toilet hours after. first thing i did was text you."
you sigh, rolling your eyes as you looked at him boredly, "drugged? that's the excuse you're going with?"
"why would i ditch you on purpose!" he hisses, leaning down. your argument gathers the attention of a few of your coworkers, and your senior warns you to get back to work. you sigh and look away from him.
"whatever it is—" you begin as politely as you can, "I don't think i'm ready to date. so maybe you should just—"
he sighs your name in agitation, and you quirk your eyebrow at him.
"you're really giving up on me after one fuck up?" he asks, frowning, "which wasn't even my fault? i was drugged—"
"i almost got assaulted on the way back," you hiss, standing up abruptly. your noses press together, and you pull back the moment his eyes drift to your lips. you pinch the bridge of your nose, before tilting your chin up and pointing at the bandage. he blinks, gaze filled with guilt. you sigh.
"maybe we could give it a go after some time if you're still interested, but i don't think i have the patience for this right now. last night was really hard on me. can you respect that?"
he looks like a kicked puppy at your words, but he steps back nonetheless. he clenches his jaw as he nods— before leaving you alone for the rest of the day.
the feeling of being watched has numbed you. you try not to care on your way back home— you have too much to do to care about that anyway. your dress from last night and your coat got dirty, so it seems like the perfect time to have a laundry day.
it's only when you're gathering all your clothes that you realize what's wrong.
your clothes are missing.
a pair of panties and your favourite camisole top. it's pink and has a little bow in the middle and you remember bringing it very clearly because you have taken a billion pictures in it. you wore them two days back— and tossed them carelessly in the laundry basket. you check once, and twice.
they're missing.
your first thought immediately goes to the stalker. is there any way he found your home? came into your room? stole your undergarments like a fucking sicko?
your second thought feels a little.. illegal to say the least. but.. inho wouldn't do something like that, would he? no, he's a good guy. a kind, rule following member of society. he used to be a police officer, for fuck's sake. he wouldn't do something like that, would he?
you can't lie, the idea that he could makes something in your stomach flip.
you can't go and straight up ask him, 'hey mister, did you take my panties?' so you do the next best thing. you devise a plan to be alone in his room.
you put on your best panic stricken expression as you knock on his door, and he opens almost immediately. his face falls into one of concern as he looks you up and down, "what's wrong—"
"i need pads," you say sheepishly, biting your lower lip as you step into his room. he doesn't protest as he looks at you. "i got my period and i don't have any and it hurts to go to the store. inho sir, could you please go buy me some? please?"
for added effect you let out a groan, holding your stomach as you fall onto his bed. you lie in a fetus position, and the worry etched onto his face almost makes you laugh.
"do you need anything else?" he asks, grabbing his wallet. you shake your head no, release another groan before he's slamming the door behind him as he leaves.
you wait for a few minutes— until you can hear the sound of his footsteps going down the stairs and fading away. you get up quickly then, look around his room with your heart pounding against your chest.
the first place you look is his cupboards— only his clothes to be found. you rip off his blanket and look under the pillows, searching desperately. you almost feel bad— he seems like such a good man, and you're taking advantage of his kindness by doubting him like this. you almost stop and leave, before the sight of his laundry basket has you pausing.
you look at the door before turning back and approaching it. you sit on the floor and shuffle through it, but you can't find a glimpse of your undergarments anywhere. you can find his though— and it makes you blush slightly.
you find his shirt then— white and plain and you remember him wearing it under his sweater last night. with shaky hands, you bring it out. biting your lower lip, against your morals, you clutch it and bring it up to your nose, inhaling the scent of his collar. it smells of him— of sweat and his cologne and it almost makes you moan.
like the fucking sicko you were worried about, you bury your face in it, your legs shaking as you lean further into it. another whimper escapes you. your eyes squeeze shut, and your mind starts flashing images of him, of his arms, of the vein in his neck, of his hair, of his smile—
it's been established already that your luck is horrible. that's why you don't realize it when the door opens and inho stands there, frozen, watching you sniff his clothes like a junkie. he drops the bag, and you freeze, your eyes immediately snapping open.
the way dread settles in your stomach is comical. you don't want to turn around, more so because it would mean acknowledging what you've been doing. he takes your name, and you turn ever so slowly, his shirt still clutched in your hands, pressed against your nose. as reality sets in, you're quickly tossing it back in the laundry basket and standing up like you've been electrocuted.
"i-it's not what it looks like—"
he doesn't say a word as he slams the door shut, very pointedly locking it. it sends a shiver of thrill up your spine, and he closes in on you ever so slowly as you try to explain yourself.
"i was just—" you're stuttering, voice breathless out of shame. you take a step back. "i was looking for something and i thought you had it and—"
he's just nodding patiently as you speak, eyebrows furrowed with mock sympathy. his hand suddenly shoots up to grab your neck, and your breath hitches as he pushes you against the wall.
"i thought you took my panties," you explain quickly, visibly panicking. "i couldn't find them and you were the only one who came into my room—"
"that's why you were sniffing my shirt like a little pervert?" he asks calmly, voice hushed, his mouth curling into an amused smirk. "because you couldn't find your panties?"
"sir—" you gasp, eyes fluttering as his hand squeezes slightly. your legs tremble, and you grab his wrist. "i didn't mean to—"
"dirty girl," he chuckles. before you can speak further, he's grabbing your waist, twirling you around and shoving you onto his bed. you fall upon it with a surprised gasp, and he climbs onto you effortlessly, caging you between his arms. "you think i don't understand the way you look at me with those pretty little eyes? like you're begging me to fuck you into the mattress?"
"oh fuck," you moan, your back arching off the bed. his mere voice has you feeling stupid. your lips wobble as you look at him pleadingly— licking your lips. "please—"
"yeah— like this," he chuckles, giving your cheek a little slap. it barely registers. doesn't hurt at all, feels like a little tap. but the action enough elicits the most desperate moan out of you, and he squeezes your cheeks, leaning down dangerously. "like a little slut."
you whine, biting your lower lip as you try to catch his lips. he merely laughs mockingly, shakes his head as he pouts playfully, "what? you want a kiss?"
you try to nod as best as you can, and he pulls your bottom lip between his teeth teasingly before letting go. you whine again, your hands holding onto his back— clutching the material of his sweatshirt with a desperation you didn't know you could feel.
"i knew you were a little messed up," he grunts, prying your thighs apart with his knees, before settling his hips upon yours. you can feel the bulge in his pants so evidently, and it makes you moan. with a warning glare, he squeezes your cheeks harder, making your lips pucker up. it makes him chuckle, and he gives your head a little shake. "giving your little 'fuck me' eyes to a man my age. do you act like this with everyone? with that fucking boy from college?"
his voice gets louder, harsher with his words and you shake your head desperately. his hips press against yours, and he starts grinding them against your clothed pussy— making you whine.
"j-just you—" you mumble, but he doesn't let you finish. his mouth is crashing onto yours, one hand grabbing your neck again and the other going under your waist, holding you in place.
the kiss leaves you breathless. teeth and tongue slam together, and you moan needily as he grinds against you, the action making a damp patch appear on the front of your pyjamas. your legs wrap around his waist and he grunts, his hips faltering slightly from shock before he continues, cocking his head to the side to access your mouth better.
your hand comes up to his hair, feeling the softness of it. he grabs it, brings your other one up too and holds both of your wrists in a massive palm— before raising them over your head and keeping them in place. he rises over you, his hips thrusting against yours, and you look at him dazedly. strings of your combined saliva separate and drip down your chin, and you blink.
"please inho sir—" you whimper, your hands twisting in his hold. "slap me again, please."
there's a glimpse of shock in his eyes but it goes away just as quickly. you don't even get to expect how fast his hand pulls back and strikes against your face— but you moan at the contact. it's harder than before and it stings, and it leaves the most delicious pain in it's wake. you almost hope it leaves a little print for you to wake up to tomorrow.
"god, you're a mess," he laughs breathlessly, grabbing your hair. you give him an almost drunken smile— your lips puffy and swollen, hips rising up to press needily against his bulge.
"my little mess—" he groans before gently slapping you again, and you whine, chasing his mouth with your own. he leans forward and silences you with the kiss you were so desperately begging for.
he's pulling back suddenly, a hand digging into his pockets. your eyes flutter open and before you know what's happening— he's stuffing your missing panties in your mouth. it baffles you— and he laughs at the way your eyes widen. he doesn't allow you to move as his hand slips inside your pyjama, immediately rubbing your clit.
the sudden stimulation doesn't allow you to dwell on the matter for long. so he did steal your panties— and you cannot question him, because you quite literally did the same thing. how can you call him out, when you were sniffing his worn shirt like a fucking pervert, yourself? he knows that too, judging by the glint in his eyes— as if he's daring you to attack him. you barely get to protest as you writhe under him, and he rubs your clit till you cum all over his hand— your loud moans muffled by your panties.
he pulls his hand out and licks your juices off with the nastiest slurp, maintaining eye contact with you the whole time. you tremble in his hold, before he's hovering over your chest, his thighs caging you in. he looks down at you smugly, pulling his leaking cock out of his pants. your mouth immediately waters— it's thick and darker than the rest of him, and the tip is flushed red. he doesn't allow you to sit up, keeps it conveniently out of your reach as he begins stroking it, hand moving up and down with a soft, wet shlick.
your pleading is silenced by your panties. you desperately try to push them out of your mouth, to reach up and touch him, but he's restrained you too efficiently. he throws his head back, lets out a soft, raspy moan. drops of his precum land on your face as he furiously jerks off over you, his movements getting faster. your eyes flutter, and he cums with a throaty groan, his entire body tensing— splatters of his cum falling upon your mess of a face.
there's tears in your eyes as you look up at him, and he chuckles. he lets go of your hands, and you immediately toss your panties out and cough. you glance at his softening cock with devastation etched onto your features— before glaring up at him, lips drawn into a sad pout. he laughs at your misery, holds his wet hand out, "come on."
like a fucking puppy, you grab his hand. you don't even understand where this degeneracy is coming from— you don't wish to. you don't care. all you know is you need this man carnally, and you're not going to say no when he's offering himself on a silver platter. with sheer enthusiasm, you start licking his palm, eyes fluttering closed. you lick between his fingers, take two of them in your mouth, making him moan; before he's physically pulling you off him.
you whine in protest, and he pats your cheek while tucking himself back into his pants. you pant heavily as you come down from your high, allowing yourself a moment to think about everything that just happened. your cheek still stings, and you've just experienced what you can only classify as the horniest, hottest moment of your life.
you're so lost in thought that you don't register the moment he pulls you into his bed with him, placing your limp body atop his chest. you were given twin beds in your tiny apartments, but you realize you fit in here pretty well. like a puzzle. he pats your hair and places a soft kiss to your temple. you have many questions, but you don't know where to start.
"so i'm guessing you weren't on your period," he jokes, and you groan, hiding your face in the crook of his neck as you recall your little excuse. "i think that was smart. you'd make a pretty good investigator. as long as you don't go around sniffing their clothes—"
"shut up." you whine, glaring at him. he chuckles heartily, and your body feels warm. his hand goes down, slaps your ass teasingly.
"so you think i smell nice?"
"i said shut up."
"it's a yes or no question." he cooes, pinching your cheek. you whine, rubbing your cheek against his chest like a cat. yes, asshole. you wanted to say. you smell amazing.
in retaliation, you decide to ask your own question.
"were you jealous of je-hyun?"
he stiffens slightly, and you smirk. gotcha.
"that's a brave accusation." he retorts smoothly.
"it's a yes or no question," you shoot back teasingly, and he looks into your eyes.
"yes."
you pause then, a small smile appearing on your face. "yes? is that why you kept calling him a boy?"
he shrugs, looking up at the ceiling as his fingers run through your hair. "he is a boy. he couldn't take care of you like i could. and you already liked me before you started going out with him."
that punches the breath out of you.
"was i that obvious?" you ask dryly. he smiles, eyes darting down to you. he grabs your chin and tilts your head down, places a soft kiss upon your lips.
"policeman instinct."
ᥫ᭡.
it's a few weeks later that your entire world slips off it's axis. everything was fine with inho— he had taken you out multiple times. bought you cotton candy, kissed the remnants of it off your chin, and you two had walked hand in hand down the streets of seoul, much like the couples you envied on your first walk with him. you remember mostly going to eat spicy food with him because he was lactose intolerant and not a big fan of sweets. he'd even won you a plushie at an arcade that you now cuddle whenever you go to sleep without him. you remember not being scared anymore because you no longer felt the eyes of your stalker, and the only flowers you got were the ones inho would buy for you.
inho hadn't come home for two days and thirteen hours.
you know because you've been counting each hour. there's an unbearable itch in your stomach, and every door opening or closing in the hallway has you jumping and leaving to check. you'd met up with the landlady, insisted that she get someone to go look for him, but she'd merely brushed you off.
your days at work became gloomy and your classmates started to notice. je-hyun got a girlfriend too— one of your seniors. you were happy for him, honestly. but still fucking jealous. you missed your boyfriend, and worst of all, you were worried. he just went away without saying anything, and it filled you with a sense of betrayal.
you were in your own state of denial. no way he could do this to you— give you love and then snatch it away out of nowhere, leaving you empty and cold. you didn't want to believe it. absolutely not.
you were trying to sleep when you heard his name again. you sit up, quickly turning on the lights and jumping to the door.
"—he was supposed to pay his rent a week ago," your landlady says. you open the door and peek out, watch as she guides another man to his door. you wonder if he knows your inho. "i've stopped by everyday since then, but he hasn't come in or picked up his phone. by the way... about his rent... otherwise you'd have to move his stuff out right away—"
the younger guy ensures he'd pay the rent, and you watch curiously as she opens the door for him. "take your time!" she says.
so he definitely knows inho, you think.
you watch with bated breath, only his back being visible to you. you're not sure if you should approach him. suddenly, he's moving, turning around and leaving the apartment as if something came up. you open the door and watch him go— your voice stuck in your throat.
you don't see that guy again. you don't hear from inho again. you don't receive flowers, but the feeling of being watched still remains, although it's less frequent.
three days pass. you're gathering your belongings to leave when je-hyun places a bouquet in front of you. you look up at him, frowning.
"someone left this at the door," he says casually, rubbing the back of his neck. "for you. guess it didn't stop."
he leaves and you frown as you look at the flowers. you hadn't received these in a while. you analyse them— pink carnations paired with some white lilies and forget-me-nots. wrapped up in a white ribbon. you know carnations because they're infamous and can be seen in almost every flower shop. you also know carnations are usually used in weddings. they're a symbol of love and devotion. and forget me nots— there is no need for an explanation. the answer lies in its name. you're pulling your phone out to go through that website— the one that speaks the language of flowers.
perhaps it's your own stupidity for not having realized it before. you're quickly pulling the bouquet forward. no card. there are a myriad of emotions going through you— anger, hurt, and most of all— yearning. your heart yearns for him. it longs for him. your hands tremble as you clutch the edge of the table.
you look at the flowers almost bitterly. you grit your teeth, glaring down at your phone, the website open and displaying words that only evoke feelings of distress out of you. of course, it had to be him. there was no other explanation. flowers symbolizing jealousy right after je-hyun asked you out, you had mentioned how much you liked flowers the day you two went on a walk. them suddenly stopping the day you two started openly dating. you just feel stupid you didn't realize it sooner.
that manipulative prick.
you huff bitterly, your eye twitching as you read the damning text over and over again.
pink carnations — 'ill never forget you.'
inho watches your face through the screen with a glass of whiskey in hand; smiling slightly at the way you glare at him. him as in, the bouquet. he's testing a new thing, trying to see if you've figured it out yet. he's very conveniently placed a camera in this one. if you understand it's him who has been sending you flowers, he's a hundred percent sure you'll take it home and keep it. if you decide to throw it out, that's okay too. the teddy bear he won for you was easy to install a camera in. he gets to see you whenever he wants, even when he's away. watching your sleeping face is rather therapeutic amidst the brutal killings of the players in the games. whenever he starts to miss you, your face is a button away from him. he can't really keep an eye on you at work, but that's alright. he's paid someone to keep watch and make sure you don't find someone else.
it was fun to see the fear etched onto your face whenever you mentioned being stalked— he was the one carrying out the stalking himself, until other duties called. he had to take these measures to ensure he was the only source of your comfort, the only one to rely on. scaring you just a little so it would bring you closer to him. how else would you come to him? you needed a little push. and now he's got you wrapped around his finger, much like you've got him wrapped around yours.
the flowers were just fun. he liked messing with you. a little inside joke with himself— different flowers to express how he felt about you. he wanted to see how long it would take you to figure it out. the way they worked to keep most men away was simply an added bonus.
you almost actually getting assaulted was not part of the plan. he'd spiked the kid's drink to make sure he could conveniently step in to save the day— to find you and bring you home. except that disgusting freak of nature decided to lay his dirty hands on you. you don't have to know that he went back to finish the job, that the man is six feet under the ground. much like your dear je-hyun would've been if he hadn't respectfully backed off and gotten himself a girlfriend.
he doesn't think he has anger or jealousy issues, no. he simply does not think that he can live without you anymore. anyone who comes between the two of you, has to go. you're a little naive and easy to manipulate, but it worked in his favour. you trusted him too easily, and he's gotten addicted to the way you make him feel like some hero. he gets to protect you and hold you and forget about everything that he's had to go through. it's a win.
he's seen how miserable you've been without him— the plushie he got you has been spending more time in your arms than your phone, which he thinks is a good development.
you miss him, and he misses you too.
he can judge by the clench of your jaw that you've figured out he was the one behind the flowers. the thought makes him snort slightly. he tilts the glass, glancing down at the clear fluid, before looking up at your face.
you've pulled back. you're picking the bouquet up, and carrying it out. you cross the trash can— and you don't throw it out.
you're taking it home.
a pleased smirk curls upon his face and he nods to himself, taking the remote and turning on his music box.
the notes of 'fly me to the moon' wraps around him like a comforting blanket. he's gonna take this as a hint. if you're taking this bouquet home even after realizing he's the one behind the flowers, it must mean you accept him. and he can make do with that.
you're young and impressionable, and you follow what he says. he could share his ideas with you, see how you react.
and perhaps the next time he sees you, he'll bring you to the games with him.
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A/N: this was sooo fun to write!! it took me a few days to finish this and i got so unmotivated because i accidentally deleted a draft at first, but now it turned out so much better than before! i truly hope it doesn't feel rushed or bad, and i know the smut is mid at best but i really tried :( as always feedback is always appreciated, and thank you so much for the support on my fics so far! i love you guys!
tags: @movienerd3000 @testdrivethv @leebyunghunswifey @nerdybarbariancupcake @neganhore @k1ra-park3r @vivdolls @wab-i @stantwicr @creativerambling @yasmim-1007 @makethemgirlsgoloco @jamiewritesfanfiction-blog @captaincarmel416 @warlabels @ferrarifinnick @smlbch @izzyyann @meheheasasa @poooopy @endlessfl4mes @selfishlittlebeing @pillowtalk6 @antiromanticbaby
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solelifauna · 4 months ago
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Yandere Batfam & Neglected Reader Prt. 3
Finally getting a tiny bit of Bruce's monologue!! And uh oh, looks like you've gotta clock in!
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As the car began to move, you couldn't help but feel a growing sense of panic. The tension in the air was palpable, and you could feel the weight of everyone's gaze on you. You tried your best to focus on anything but the Waynes, your mind desperately attempting to process what just happened in the parking lot. You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, staring out the window as the city lights blurred past. It was then that Damian decided to break the awkward silence.
“Father, what is the meaning of bringing her along with us?” Damian spoke curtly, disdain marring his voice when mentioning you.
As much as you disliked him as well, he had a point. Why the hell are you sitting here with them?
Bruce glanced at Damian. Truth be told, he didn't quite know why. While you were his child, one out of the only two biological children he had, he had never really had the time or care to acknowledge you. You coming into his life abruptly disturbed everything, so he paid you no mind. He’ll admit, it wasn't fair of him to do so, but he had bigger things to worry about. He was tired, and a child that wasn't involved with his night business, who did not understand what his life of vigilantism took out of him, would never understand the sacrifices that he's had to make. It wasn't until seeing you on the football field, happy, talking to your friends and acting in a way he'd never seen you do, he'd begun to realize what he missed. 
When did you get so tall? He could have sworn you were no taller than his waist. And when did you join the cheerleading team? And who was that girl throwing her arm around you? Who was that boy? Gods, just how much has he missed? 
But he couldn't say all of that. So instead he just replied, “She's a part of this family, Damian and she needed a ride back home.”
He could feel Cassandra’s knowing stare, she could read him better than anybody and she knew the inner turmoil brewing in his heart. That's coupled with Stephanie’s smirk and Dick’s predatory grin. Jason grunted in response, clearly not pleased with the arrangement. Lastly, he could see the disbelief on your face, as if you couldn't believe you'd even be considered part of this family. And he’s mostly to blame. 
He internally sighed. He'd have to work on that. You were his daughter. His. It was his job to keep you safe and happy. It was his job to make sure you felt loved. And right now? He was no better than Jannet and Jack Drake leaving poor Tim to fend for himself. But that would all soon change, starting with himself and his children.
You on the other hand were still reeling from Bruce’s words. “Family”? Is he fucking kidding or what?
Dick, always the one to break the tension with his charm, spoke up next. "Hey, (Y/n), when did you become a cheerleader? I didn't know you were into that sort of stuff." Dick said with that condescending tone.
Your eyes twitched. You did not like his tone.
“That's none of your business Dick.” You shot back before you could even think.
Everyone looked your way. Whoops, that was your bad. 
It was Jasons turn to get upset, “Watch your fucking mouth.” He growled, ever possessive over his older brother.
You immediately froze up, offering a quick and quiet apology before retreating into your own head. Jason–Jason scared you more than any of the others. You knew about his pit rage, you knew about the bloody and beaten bodies he's left in the wake of his rage. You knew he’d never dream of hurting his family, the pit often aiding in his possessive tendencies over the rest of the bats but– you weren't family. And you'd hate to be on the receiving end of Jason’s wrath.
If anyone had continued talking to you, you wouldn’t know. The sound around you was muffled like your head was filled with cotton and you could feel yourself shaking. You wanted out. Now. Thankfully, the rest of the ride was mostly quiet. Sure, everyone would occasionally turn their eyes towards you, making you shrink further in on yourself, but you were almost at the manor. The vehicle barely came to a stop before you were throwing yourself out the door and into the manor. You bid Alfred a quick “goodbye” and “thank you” before bolting up the stairs and into your room. 
You locked the door, not that anyone would bother coming up to your room, but still it gave you security nonetheless. You stripped and hopped into the shower, the soreness in your body now making itself known. God it was gonna suck tomorrow. Why? Because it was Friday today, that meant tomorrow would be Saturday, and that meant that you'd have to go to work at the ass crack of dawn, 5 am. Plus, you didn't even have your bike, so you’d have to rely on Alfred to take you and bring you back. Great.
So with a heavy heart and heavy limbs, you tucked yourself into bed ready for the worst sleep of your life. 
You wake up to the grating sound of your iphone alarm, as you groggily get up to brush your teeth, shower and get ready for the long day ahead. Making your way down for a cup of coffee, sleep still in your eyes, you fail to notice the looming figure of Tim Drake already sipping his own coffee. It was dark downstairs and you were still fighting off exhaustion from the day before, so who could blame you for not seeing the corner of the cabinet. Before you knew it, you were hunched over on the floor grabbing your pinkie toe in pain. 
“Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, that hurt! Holy shit, kill yourself, kill yourself! Who the fuck puts a cabinet there, oh my god.” You wailed in pain, cursing at the damn cabinet. You’d blame it on delirium and exhaustion. Honestly, it was an expected crashout.
You laid pathetically on the floor for a couple of more seconds before you heard a monotone, disinterested voice make itself known.
“Are you done now?” Tim says from behind you.
You yelp in surprise, before clumsily scrambling up and turning around. And there he was, sitting at the counter, coffee in hand and an almost (dare you say) amused look on his face. You blanche. Shit, how long has he been sitting there? Oh god, please don't say he’s witnessed the entirety of your embarrassing crashout? 
And as if reading your mind, he cryptically answers, “Yes, I've been here this entire time.” All while sipping his coffee as his calculating eyes scarily bore into your figure.
You don't know what to say, embarrassed out of your mind, so you just apologize. 
“Right–um, sorry about that. I’m just tryna get some coffee. I'll be out your way.” You hastily say before turning, tail tucked back towards the coffee pot. 
You could still feel the weight of Tim’s stare on you but you're too tired and embarrassed to care. You pour yourself a big cup of straight up black coffee and proceed to chug it while walking towards the sink. After finishing it, you proceeded to gag for a few seconds, the bitter taste still permeating your mouth. God you hated the taste of black coffee, but you’d do whatever it takes to not fall asleep on the job. You discard your cup into the sink before you decide to find Alfred, it was 4:37 am and you needed to clock in by 5:00 am or else your ass was grass. You conveniently ignore Tim who has watched all of your misfortune happen this morning. He doesn't say anything when you leave the dining/kitchen area, just eerily watches. 
God, he made you nervous.
Anyways, your quest to find Alfred was short lived as he seemingly appeared out of nowhere, Damian in tow (you could feel the scar on your face burning). Great, was everyone up at this ungodly hour or was it just them two? You avoided the heat of Damian’s glare as you relayed to Alfred your predicament, apologizing profusely since you did ask him last minute. He simply smiled at you, letting you know that “it is never a hindrance when you need something Master (Y/n).” You smiled back in relief, thanking him once more as Alfred got ready to drop you off.
But of course, Damian just had to break the silence. 
“What could you possibly need to do at this hour? Alfred has better things to do other than encouraging your galavanting.” Damian spoke sharply.
You just sighed, “Not that it's any of your business, but I have work.”You don't offer any more information as your hand unknowingly caresses the scarred tissue on your face. 
Damian’s eyes draw to your face at the movement, seemingly fixated on the scar he left on you. He doesn’t think much of it, but sometimes, something green and dangerous purrs inside of him. Yes, his mark. It was his mark on your face. As much as he hated you, you were his only other blood-sibling no matter how weak and useless you were. He had bested you, and usually would pay you no mind, you knew your place and would typically remain docile. But recently you’ve been showing a new abrasive side, one he is not particularly fond of.
He’d have to talk to father about it.
Silence permeates the air as he doesnt bother to dignify your disrespect with a response. You’re saved when Alfred comes back with keys, both you and him rushing to whatever vehicle he's pulled out from the large, large selection of coveted cars Bruce owns. Looks like it's a BMW today. You practically throw yourself in, as Alfred speeds away to the cafe you work at. You arrive at work in record speed, bidding Alfred a “goodbye” before rushing to throw your apron on and clock in. 
You’re greeted by the one other person working your shift, Matheo. He’s a sweet boy, very soft-spoken and mostly sticks in the back near the kitchen to bake the pastries while you work the register. Of course he comes and helps with drink orders when it's particularly busy, he’s too kind to leave you to fend for yourself. Regardless, you have a pretty straight forward agreement, which is what spells your doom. It was a regular Saturday shift, with the pilate moms coming in, middle schoolers loitering, and the occasional customer with an attitude. Everything was fine and dandy till three familiar faces walk in.
You were ever the busy body, finishing one last drink before yelling out a quick “I’ll help y’all shortly!”, to whoever just walked in. You quickly rush over to the register, not even bothering to look up from the register.
“Sorry ‘bout the wait! Now what can I get you?” You said in your regular customer service voice.
“Well, well, well, turns out you were right Dami, she does work here.” A chillingly familiar voice jests.
You freeze, slowly looking up only to be met with Dick smiling at you. It was not a kind smile, no, there was something dangerous about it. Behind him, you could see the familiar figures of Cassandra and Damian. What the hell are they doing here? God, you should have never mentioned anything to Damian, now you had to deal with this.
“R–right, what can I get you?” You shakily say, putting back on your customer service persona. 
Dick’s smile grows, his teeth now visible, almost as if he was baring his teeth. Danger. Something inside you screamed.
“I’ll just have a vanilla cold brew, extra cold foam. Dami, Cass, what do you want?” Dick grinns.
“Tch, I don't want anything from this place.” Damian says, uninterested.
“Cass?” Dick asks, looking at her.
She comes up to the register, giving Dick a one-off-glance. Worryingly, her eyes seem to be fixated on you. She doesn't say anything for a few seconds, holding immensely uncomfortable eye contact with you before relaying her order.
“Just a caramel latte.” Cass says, still looking down at you.
You frantically fill in their orders on the register.
“Will that be all?” You ask. You hoped that was all, you didn't want them spending another minute talking to you.
Dick says a quick cheerful “no” before you ring them up and get started with the two drinks. It doesn't take too much time before you’re calling out their names to come get their drinks. You hope they leave right after. But of course, nothing goes according to your wishes as they grab their drinks and seat themselves at a table. Great.
The minutes after result in further disaster. After a couple of more customers, a lady comes up to you, face already molded into a scowl with a half empty drink in her hand. Oh great, a “karen”.
“Hello ma’am, how can I help you?” You kindly say.
“You! I need a refund. Right. Now!” The lady booms, wagging her finger in your face.
“A refund, right, is there a reason you’re requesting a refund?” 
“A reason!? You made my drink wrong and I want my money back!”
“Please correct me if i'm wrong, but I believe you ordered a double mocha cappuccino, correct?” You ask slowly.
“Yes, that's what I ordered! Why are you asking me all these questions?!”
“Sorry ma’am, but that is the drink I gave you. Is there something specifically wrong with the drink?”
“The drink that you gave me is wrong, you made it wrong! It doesn't taste anything like regular coffee!”
“Oh, well sometimes different cafes use different recipes for the same drink, i think maybe that's why–”
“–Well I don't care! I want a refund!”
You could feel eyes on you as the other patrons start to notice the commotion brewing.
“Ma’am, i'm so sorry but i can't give you a refund, you’ve already drank half the drink. If you would have let me know sooner, I could've remade it for you, but–I'm sorry ma’am I can't give you that refund.”
“Are you serious! Why I never!? It's always bitches like you who try scamming people out of their money!”
“Ma'am, I'm really sorry, it's the company policy. I just work here–” You gently say, trying to calm her down.
“–Go to hell you bitch!” Is all you hear before you’re doused in the face with warm coffee. 
You just stand there is shock, blinking through the coffee. There's no way that just happened. Theo, comes out having heard the commotion (albeit a little too late), only to be met with the sight of you covered in coffee.
“Oh my gosh (Y/n)! I should have come sooner, are you okay?”
“Peachy.” You say, voice audibly watery and cracking.
“I'll take care of everything up here, you go take some time in the back. Clean up or honestly if you don't feel like it, just rest in the back–”
“–It's okay Theo, I–I just need a couple of minutes. I'm fine.”
He gives you a quizzical stare.
“I'm fine. I promise.” You smile, although you could feel your eyes starting to water. 
You hastily walk off to the break room and proceed to cry for a good 2 minutes before deciding to start cleaning yourself up. You do your best to get the coffee that's dried into hair out while wiping down your now sicky arms and face. Changing your apron gets rid of most of the mess, but your shirt underneath still has a couple of large patches of coffee. Sighing, you tidy yourself up as much as possible before heading back to the counter, Theo worriedly waiting for you. You just shoot him a thumbs up and let him know that it’s okay for him to retreat back to the kitchen; he lingers for a moment, hesitant to leave you alone, but drudges back regardless.
There are eyes on you. You look up perturbed, only to find Dick, Cass, and Damian still sitting at their table, sharp stares pinned on your figure. They saw all that happen, didn't they? You mentally cringed. 
Checking your watch, you realize that there are still four more hours left on your shift. Great, that's great–just another four more hours, which is technically thirty minutes eight times, which is technically fifteen minutes sixteen times–and you’ve lost it. Jesus you were losing your mind, which was understandable (honestly you're surprised it hasn't happened sooner) during one of the worst shifts of your life.
It’s fine. You got this. Just four more hours, and you can have your “Mental Breakdown Part Ⅱ™”.
Tag-list!!:
@sitepathos @ferakillia @uknowimdumb @shycreatorreview @niggrrooo @dhanyasri @cantfindmelol @space1crow @earth-to-mee @rosecentury @yuyuzi-ling @simpingfor-wakasa @bat1212 @sheepintherain @person-from-daaaa-voidddd @resident-cryptid @cupids-pretty-boy @danni1323 @couldeatthatgirlforlunch @erikasurfer @toast-on-dandelioms @hazbinlove @h0neysiba @shycreatorreview @ch1cky-093 @kore-of-the-underworld @krazy-kattzz @ceramic-raven @randomlyappearingartist @bleep-bloops-world @hasty-desert @bellethesleepypotato @lilyalone @delias-stuff @amisupposedtomakesenserightnow @soriansick @vanilliona @thoughtfulbelieverstrawberry @vanessa-boo @kitsutsugikuni @mottysith @beeaskewwrites @starsdotalk @yandere-fetish @mybones537 @mochien0tfound @black-swan-blog27 @phoenixgurl030 @meowmeeps @tatsuri-zomushiki @sereinitysmind @l0g0phobe @alias-sam @fairygardenprincesss @chocolatesweetsdestiny @lunaastars
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rafecameronssl4t · 5 months ago
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Could you do reader and rafes reaction to when they found out easer is first pregnant for the force’s marriage au? LOVED the first part!!
First pregnancy || Rafe Cameron x fem!reader
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A/n: this fic is a 100% how i think rafe and reader would react in this situation
Warnings: mention of pregnancy, angst if there's anything else lmk
Word count: 1,457
MASTERLIST (forced marriage au masterlist)
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divider by @h-aewo
You flip over the pregnancy test, your heart sinking as you see two lines. Of course. It was inevitable, given the life you’ve been cornered into. You sigh, throwing the test into the bin with a mixture of resignation and dread.
Leaning against the cool marble sink, you catch your reflection in the mirror—your eyes heavy with a sense of inevitability that’s become all too familiar. The pristine bathroom feels suffocating, its sterile white tiles and polished fixtures reflecting the stark reality you’re trapped in.
Leaving the bathroom, you make your way downstairs to the living room, each step heavy with the weight of what this means. Rafe had left for work a few hours earlier, leaving you alone in the house. It’s been this way for a while—his absence during these crucial moments only magnifies the distance between you.
The quiet of the house, broken only by the soft footfalls of the servants, feels more isolating than comforting. In the corner of your eye, you notice Anita descending the stairs. She’s one of the few people who’ve been with you since you were young, a steady presence in the chaos of your life.
You assume she’s just finished cleaning your room, making everything perfect as always. “Anita?” you call out, your voice softer than intended. She stops, turning to you with a gentle smile that’s both comforting and bittersweet. “Yes, Miss?” she replies, her tone warm and familiar. You look up from your phone, hesitating for a moment.
“Not a word to Rafe, please,” you say, your voice firmer this time, carrying the weight of the secret you now bear. Anita’s eyes soften with understanding. She doesn’t need any more explanation. “Of course, congratulations to you both. Your parents will be overjoyed, they’ve been waiting for this,” she says before continuing on her way.
Her words hit you like a blow to the chest, knocking the breath from your lungs. Of course, your parents would be thrilled. This is all they ever wanted from you and Rafe—a continuation of the family bloodline, a legacy to carry forward. They didn’t care if the two of you were unhappy, if this marriage was more a prison than a partnership. As long as the family name persisted, nothing else mattered.
~
"Where is she?" Rafe's voice echoes through the quiet house, sharp and impatient. Anita’s calm response cuts through the tension. "She isn’t feeling well, Mr. Cameron," she says, her tone polite and soothing. Rafe grunts in acknowledgment and takes his seat at the dining table, his eyes scanning the empty chair opposite him—usually filled by you each morning.
Later that day, as you and Rafe drive to your parents' house for lunch, a wave of nausea washes over you. You place one hand protectively on your lower stomach, the other coming up to cover your mouth as you close your eyes and focus on steadying your breath. Morning sickness has been relentless lately, more intense and persistent than before. While you’ve managed to keep it hidden from Rafe up until now, the strain is starting to show.
Rafe’s gaze flickers to you briefly, his eyes narrowing with concern. Without a word, he reaches into the console and retrieves a bottle of water, handing it to you with an absent-minded flick of his wrist. He doesn’t even glance at you as he passes it over. "Thanks," you murmur, your voice barely audible as you unscrew the lid and take a slow sip, your eyes fixed out the window.
As the car rolls to a stop in front of your family estate, Rafe is already unbuckling his seatbelt, eager to get this over with. But before he can move, you reach out, your hand covering his, halting his actions. He glances at you, confusion etched across his features. You swallow hard, struggling to find the words, your eyes searching his before you turn away, staring blankly out the windshield.
You feel his gaze on your side profile, waiting, perhaps sensing the gravity of what you’re about to say. "I'm pregnant," you finally admit, your voice barely above a whisper. The words hang in the air between you, heavy and unyielding. You feel Rafe tense beside you, the atmosphere in the car growing thick with unspoken emotions. His reaction is immediate and sharp, cutting through the silence like a knife.
"Are you seriously telling me this right now? Just before we see your parents?" His voice is laced with anger, catching you completely off guard. You turn to face him, your expression one of disbelief. Is he seriously getting mad right now? Of all the reactions you had braced yourself for, this wasn’t one of them.
"I just told you we're having a child, and this is how you react?" you snap, incredulous. Your disbelief quickly morphs into anger as you watch him look away, his jaw clenched in frustration. His silence only fuels your rage. "Fucking unbelievable," you mutter under your breath as you unbuckle your seatbelt and shove the car door open.
The door slams shut behind you with a resounding thud as you storm toward the front entrance, your emotions boiling over. You’re only a few steps away when you hear Rafe’s car door fly open, followed by the sound of his voice, sharp and laced with frustration.
"What do you expect me to say when you just laid that out on me?" he calls out, his anger evident in every word. You whirl around, arms crossed tightly over your chest, your eyes narrowed as they lock onto his. His expression is a mix of confusion and fury, as if he’s grappling with the enormity of your news and how it collided with the timing.
For a moment, neither of you speak, the tension between you crackling in the crisp air. "I expected you to care!" you finally snap back, your voice trembling with the weight of everything unsaid. Rafe’s eyes widen, caught between defensiveness and something that almost resembles guilt. "I do care," he retorts, his voice softer now but still edged with frustration. He takes a step closer, closing the distance between you.
"But you couldn’t have picked a worse time to tell me. We’re about to walk into your parents’ house, and you drop this on me like it’s nothing?" You can’t help the bitter laugh that escapes your lips. "You think I planned this? That I wanted to tell you in the driveway? I’ve been dealing with this alone, trying to figure out how to break it to you. But every time, you’re either too busy or too angry for me to even get a word in."
His expression falters, and for a split second, you think you see a flicker of understanding in his eyes. But it’s gone as quickly as it came, replaced by the familiar mask of indifference. "And you thought now was the best time?" he asks, shaking his head in disbelief.
"What do you want me to say, Rafe?" you ask, your voice raw with emotion. "That I should’ve kept it to myself? Pretended everything was fine until it wasn’t? We’re having a child, and I needed you to know before we walked in there and pretended to be the perfect couple again."
Rafe looks away, his jaw clenched tight as he struggles to process the situation. You watch the conflict play out in his eyes, the tug-of-war between the emotions he’s expected to feel and the reality of what he actually feels. His frustration is palpable, and after a tense moment, he sighs heavily, bringing his hands up to massage his temples.
"Can we just get through this lunch, please?" he finally says, his voice soft, almost pleading. His tone catches you off guard—there’s a vulnerability there that you’re not used to hearing from him. You stare at him, torn between wanting to push the conversation further and knowing that now isn’t the time.
His request isn’t unreasonable, but it stings nonetheless, a reminder of the emotional distance that still exists between you. "Fine," you reply after a moment, your voice tinged with resignation. "But this doesn’t change anything. We still need to talk about this—really talk about it."
Rafe nods, his eyes briefly meeting yours before he looks away again. "I know," he mutters, his voice barely above a whisper. The weight of the unspoken hangs heavy between you as you both turn toward the imposing front door of your family estate, ready to face the charade of normalcy that awaits inside.
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soulofapatrick · 5 months ago
Text
Sleep, I've Got You - Liam Mairi x Female Reader
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Summary: you haven't slept in two weeks and two people are pushing you to seek Liam's help
Warnings: none
Words: 2.3k
Y/N's POV
The training room is filled with quiet conversation, but I linger in the doorway, unnoticed. Violet is stretched out on the floor with a book in hand, Bodhi and Garrick are watching Ridoc and Sawyer debating something trivial. Liam is just listening along, breathing air through his nose  when either of the goofs say something even more ridiculous than the other but he’s fiddling with a dagger in his hand. Xaden is in the corner, brooding as usual, his dark eyes occasionally flicking up to meet mine before drifting away. 
“Go to him.” Draighanmúr’s, or Draighan as I call him, voice rumbles in the back of my mind, firm and gentle. His presence is soothing, as always, but his suggestion catches me off guard, feeling his silent urge for me to move from where I’m still hovering in the doorway. He doesn’t say who the ‘him’ is but I know exactly who he is on about. 
I shouldn’t be here. My body is heavy with exhaustion, my thoughts fogged by the lack of sleep that’s haunted me for days. I know I should turn around and head back to the dorms, crawl into bed and pull the duvet over my head and try to get a single wink of sleep. Something, or someone, keeps me rooted in place, Xaden’s eyes flicking over to mine again once more before he goes back to brooding. 
The shadows around me seem to come to life, curling around my ankles like tendrils, their touch cold and almost tangible. There’s a light pressure at the back of my legs, an insistent nudge that makes me take a wobbly step forwards. My breath catching in my throat as I realise what’s happening—these aren’t just ordinary shadows. They’re Xaden’s. 
I glare at my wingleader instinctively, annoyance flickering in my chest. He’s the only one who could be doing this, the one manipulating the shadows to push me out of the safety of the darkness where I’ve been hiding. His eyes meet mine briefly, and there’s a knowing look in them, an acknowledgment of what he’s doing. He doesn’t say anything, though, just tilts his head slightly as if to say, You know this is for your own good.
Draighan chuffs in the back of my mind as if agreeing with Xaden’s silent comment, his voice laced with a mix of amusement and agreement as he tells me You need rest, and you know who can give it to you. His presence is warm, comforting, but it doesn’t take away the frustration bubbling inside me. Xaden and Draighan unknowingly conspiring against me. 
With a resigned sigh, I continue to shuffle forwards, my movements somewhat sluggish and uncertain—things you don’t want for a dragon rider. Every step feels heavier than the last, and I hesitate again, my body instinctively trying to resit the pull. But I can feel Xaden’s eyes boring holes into the side of my head, a silent pressure that refuses to elm me retreat. It’s as if his gaze alone is propelling my forwards, leaving me no choice but to keep moving until I find myself standing next to the group of boys. 
Ridoc glances up at me, a mischievous grin on his face which would have me worried if it were anyone else but Ridoc as he asks, “You joining us?” His tone is light, but there’s genuine curiosity in his eyes, like he’s surprised I’ve wandered over to them and not Violet. 
I just nod, the motion feeling more like a reflex than a conscious decision. Without saying a word, I sink down the wall, near Sawyer and a few steps away from Liam, close enough to feel the warmth of Liam’s presence but far enough that I don’t feel complexly exposed. 
The golden evening light streams into the training room, casting a warm, ethereal glow over everything it touches. Liam sits bathed in that light, his soft light-blond hair catching the glow, making him look almost ethereal. His tall, muscular frame, as built as Dain, is relaxed as he fiddles with a dagger, the blade catching the light as it twirls effortlessly between his fingers. His blue eyes are focused on the conversation, a soft, thoughtful expression on his face as he listens to the banter around him. There’s a rugged handsomeness to him, emphasised by the prominent nose and the sprawling rebellion relic that begins at his wrist and disappears under the sleeve of his tunic. When he smiles, a dimple appears, adding a touch of warmth to his otherwise stoic demeanour.
My heart tightens in my chest as I watch him. He looks like he belongs in this light, like the strength and calmness of it are just extensions of who he is. There’s a quiet confidence about him that draws me in, and I can’t help but feel my crush on him swell, massive and overwhelming. I’m head over heels for him, and it’s a feeling that terrifies me as much as it thrills me. 
Draighan’s presence in my mind is a steady, reassuring hum, bolstering my resolve. I scoot closer to Liam, my movements slow and deliberate as I inch toward him. My heart races as I reach out, nudging his right arm from his lap. He looks down at me, a hint of surprise in his eyes, but he doesn’t say anything as I lay my head down where his arm once rested.
I tense, my whole body stiffening in anticipation of some kind of backlash or teasing comment. I’m ready for Ridoc’s sharp wit, for Sawyer’s playful jabs, or even for Liam to shift uncomfortably and pull away. But none of that happens. Instead, there’s a beat of silence, and then I feel Liam’s hand find its way into my hair. His fingers are gentle, tentative at first, before they start to move in slow, soothing strokes.
Liam's fingers begin to move through my hair, the touch light and careful, as though he’s afraid of hurting me. He smooths out the knots with practiced ease, each motion gentle yet firm. The tension I’ve been holding in my scalp and neck gradually starts to dissolve under his deft touch, the soothing strokes lulling me into a state of relaxation I haven’t felt in days.
As his hand continues to comb through my hair, he leans forward slightly, tilting my head to the side so that our eyes meet. His blue eyes, usually so sharp and alert, soften as they take in the exhaustion written across my face. There’s a quiet understanding in his gaze, a silent acknowledgment of how tired I am, how much I need this moment of comfort.
“You’re exhausted,” he murmurs softly, his voice low and tender. “Sleep.”
The warmth in his tone wraps around me like a blanket, and for a moment, everything else fades away—the noise of the room, the worries in my mind. It’s just him, his voice, and the steady rhythm of his fingers in my hair. He lets go of my face, leaning back against the wall as he continues his soothing ministrations. Before he settles, though, his fingers briefly brush against my cheek, a tender gesture that sends a warmth spreading through my chest. Then, his hand returns to my hair, the steady, rhythmic strokes coaxing me closer to the edge of sleep.
As I begin to drift, I catch Ridoc’s eyes from across the room. He’s been watching quietly, his playful demeanour momentarily subdued. He mouths a single word at me, a question: Nightmares?
I nod once, softly, the motion barely perceptible. It’s all I can manage in my state of exhaustion, but it’s enough. Ridoc’s gaze softens in understanding before he turns back to his banter with Sawyer, Bodhi, and Garrick, picking up the conversation where he left off.
The world around me fades into the background as Liam’s fingers continue to move through my hair, the gentle rhythm pulling me closer to sleep. Draighan’s presence hums softly in the back of my mind, a comforting reminder that I’m safe, that I can finally let go. My breathing slows, and before long, I succumb to the exhaustion, my body sinking into the warmth and comfort of Liam’s lap.
————
I slowly drift back into consciousness, the heaviness of sleep gradually lifting as awareness returns. The first thing I notice is the softness beneath my head—a pillow, not the comforting firmness of Liam’s lap where I last remember resting. I shift slightly, feeling the warmth of a blanket draped over me, its weight soothing against the cool air of the room. There’s another weight too, heavier and more solid, resting across my waist. It takes me a moment to realize it’s an arm, strong and steady, holding me close.
I blink, my eyes adjusting to the dim light in the room. The training room is gone, replaced by the soft glow of moonlight filtering through a small window. The familiar scent of leather and something distinctly Liam fills my senses, grounding me as I take in my surroundings. I’m not in the dorms, not in my own bed. My heart skips a beat as the realisation sinks in—I’m in Liam’s bed.
I take a slow, deep breath, feeling the rise and fall of the warm body behind me. His presence is solid, comforting, and undeniably familiar. The heat of his body seeps into my back, and for a moment, I just lie there, processing the unexpected but welcome reality of where I am.
Carefully, I roll over, shifting beneath the weight of his arm until I’m facing him. The room is quiet, the only sounds being the soft rustle of the blanket and the steady rhythm of Liam’s breathing. My eyes trace his features, relaxed and peaceful in sleep. His spiky blond hair is tousled, a few strands falling across his forehead. His sharp, blue eyes are hidden behind closed lids, their intensity softened by the calmness of slumber. His prominent nose and the faint shadow of stubble on his jawline give him a rugged look, but there’s a gentleness to him now, a vulnerability that makes my heart ache.
As I lie there, taking in every detail of Liam's serene face, I feel an overwhelming tenderness swell in my chest. His usually intense blue eyes are softened by sleep, his features relaxed in a way I rarely get to see. I can’t help myself—I lean in and press a gentle kiss to his jawline, just where the faint shadow of stubble begins. His skin is warm and slightly rough beneath my lips, the contact filling me with a quiet sense of intimacy.
The soft press of my lips causes him to stir, his brow furrowing slightly before his eyes slowly flutter open. For a moment, he looks disoriented, but then his gaze finds mine, and a slow, sleepy smile spreads across his face, the dimple in his cheek deepening.
"How'd you sleep?" he murmurs, his voice husky with sleep, and it sends a shiver down my spine.
I begin to answer, my voice still soft and laced with the remnants of sleep, "Better than I have in days—" But before I can finish, I notice his eyes flick down to my lips, lingering there for just a heartbeat before he moves.
In a fluid motion, Liam closes the small distance between us, capturing my lips in a kiss that feels like the culmination of something we’ve both been wanting for far too long. His lips are warm and firm against mine, moving with a gentle urgency that takes my breath away. His hand, still resting on my waist, tightens slightly, pulling me closer as if he needs to make sure I’m real, that this moment is real.
The kiss is slow and tender, but there’s a depth to it that speaks of unspoken emotions, of the comfort we find in each other. His thumb brushes over my cheek as he deepens the kiss, his touch both loving and reverent. I lose myself in the sensation, in the way his lips mold perfectly to mine, in the way his warmth seeps into every corner of my being. It feels like coming home, like finding a piece of myself I didn’t know was missing.
When we finally part, it’s with a shared breath, both of us a little dazed but undeniably content. His forehead rests gently against mine, our breaths mingling in the small space between us.
"Maybe we should get a little more sleep," he whispers, his voice a soft murmur that makes my heart flutter. There’s a hint of a smile in his voice, one that I can’t help but return.
"Yeah," I agree, my own voice barely more than a sigh as I shift closer, tucking myself against his bare chest. The steady beat of his heart beneath my ear is a comforting rhythm, lulling me back toward sleep. His arm wraps securely around me, holding me close as his other hand continues its soothing motions, tracing gentle patterns along my back.
As I drift off, the warmth of his body enveloping me and the gentle rise and fall of his chest beneath my head, I feel an overwhelming sense of peace. With Liam holding me close, sleep comes easily, and I let myself surrender to it, knowing that for now, everything is exactly as it should be.
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Fourth Wing Masterlist - To be made Comment to be added to tag list
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littlelamy · 5 months ago
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the one where you find out that you're pregnant: toxic!rafe x reader
a/n: just a short imagine 😌 hope you all like it!
the room feels impossibly small as you sit on the edge of the bed, your hands trembling in your lap, fingers twisting together. the faint hum of the air conditioner, your own heartbeat, and the bathroom door creaking open as rafe steps out, towel slung loosely around his hips, are the only sounds. he’s fresh out of the shower, his hair damp, skin glistening under the bedside lamp’s glow.
you swallow hard, anxiety rising in your chest. you’ve rehearsed what to say, but there’s no easy way to tell rafe. his temper is unpredictable, and though you love him, his love is wrapped in layers of control and obsession.
rafe immediately senses the tension. his sharp blue eyes narrow, and you feel his gaze like a weight pressing down on you. he always knows when something’s off, and right now, there’s no hiding it.
“what’s wrong?” he asks, voice low and edged with suspicion, as he dries his hair. his eyes stay locked on you. rafe hates surprises, hates not being in control.
you open your mouth but can’t find the words. this is harder than you thought. you don’t know if he’ll be angry, possessive, or comforting. with rafe, you never know what you’ll get.
“y/n,” he snaps, impatience evident. he tosses the towel aside and steps closer, eyes darkening with frustration. “what is it? spit it out.”
you take a deep breath, hands moving protectively over your stomach. “i’m pregnant,” you whisper, voice barely audible.
silence. rafe’s expression shifts, his body tensing as he processes the news. you’re terrified of his reaction.
“what did you just say?” he asks, voice dangerously quiet, eyes piercing yours. rafe’s intensity is overwhelming.
“i’m pregnant, rafe,” you repeat, trembling. “i found out today.”
the silence is suffocating. rafe’s eyes drop to your hands on your stomach, his expression hardening. emotions flicker across his face—anger, disbelief, something darker. then, just as quickly, it’s replaced by something unreadable.
“you’re pregnant,” he says slowly, flatly, as if testing the words. he steps closer, eyes fixed on you. “and you didn’t think to tell me?”
“i just found out,” you explain. “i needed time to process it.”
rafe cuts you off with a cold laugh. “process it? you don’t keep things from me. you don’t get to handle this alone.”
you flinch but stand your ground. “i wasn’t keeping it from you. i needed to figure out how to tell you.”
rafe grips your chin roughly, forcing you to look up at him. his touch is possessive, but his eyes show a softer side.
“what were you gonna do, y/n? hide it from me?” he asks, voice low and intense. “run?”
“no,” you shake your head. “i wasn’t going to hide it. I wasn’t sure how you’d react.”
rafe’s grip tightens before he releases you, running a hand through his damp hair. he seems to struggle with his emotions. the room fills with his heavy breathing, and you wonder if everything will fall apart.
then rafe’s expression softens. he steps forward, hands resting gently on your hips. his touch is possessive but tender, acknowledging the gravity of what you’ve just told him.
“why would you doubt how i’d feel?” he asks quietly. “you’re mine, y/n. and now you’re carrying my child.”
his possessiveness presses down on you, but you see the love in his eyes. beneath the darkness, there’s something real. he’s not just claiming you—he’s claiming the future.
“i love you,” he says softly, eyes fixed on your stomach. “i love you, and this baby.”
despite everything, you know he means it. he’s intense, controlling, but underneath it all, he’s yours. and now, he’s going to be a father.
rafe’s hands slide lower, tracing your curves with a possessive touch. “you’re mine,” he growls, pressing you against him. “and you’ll always be mine, every inch.” he leans in, kissing you deeply, his touch demanding and hungry, a promise of his claim on you and the life growing inside you.
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bbydoll18xx · 7 months ago
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She’s Such a Good Girl (Part 2)
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Paige continues her assault on your innocence, leading you to spiral.
Paige Bueckers x reader
Word Count: 2.7k
Themes: angst in the beginning, Paige being hot and flirty the rest of it woohoo, mentions of being horny oops
Part 1 - You move in across the hall from Paige Bueckers. It doesn’t take long before she tries to shatter your innocent persona. And you just let her.
Masterlist
A/N: I’m so, so grateful for all the love on the first part of this little mini series. Let me know if you are up for a third part:)) I have soo many ideas it's ridiculous
~
You wake up feeling anything but well rested. Your sleep was muddled with dreams of Paige, her smile infiltrating your unconsciousness until you woke up with an uncomfortable stickiness in between your thighs. You groan into your pillow, the general overwhelmingness of last night draining you even more.
Grabbing your phone from your bedside table, you see a text from Paige, and the butterflies erupt inside of you once more. 
‘We’re all planning on going out tonight. You’re coming with us.’
Her bluntness momentarily stuns you, but you were grateful to be included. It seemed she was hell bent on getting you out of your shell, for whatever reason, and you were simply just going to concede. You needed this.
You respond, your heart beating out of your chest, and the anxiety begins to set in. 
It was getting harder and harder to deny the gay feelings you had. And although it had been years since your “oh shit, I’m gay,” moment had dawned on you, this was reaching new heights of awareness. But you had refused to truly accept it thus far.
You had a complicated relationship with your sexuality. Most of the time you had shied away from even acknowledging it; it was too painful. In high school, you were surrounded by other gay people, and it felt like you almost belonged, slowly coming to terms with your sapphism. But as you moved away to college, you were the only one in your friend group who was even a little remotely queer, and you felt isolated by your glaring differences. 
Your religious upbringing did not help the situation either. You quickly learned how to hide your emotions. Slurs were regularly thrown around the dinner table, the nasty words cutting into your being, and your fists would be tightening in your lap, fighting to keep a neutral expression on your face.
You could not give yourself away.
As soon as you could, you’d seek solace in your room, hot, shameful tears sliding down your cheeks, forcing yourself to quiet the sobs erupting through your chest. The words of contempt echoed through your mind, until eventually you had nearly come to believe them yourself. 
Each evening you clasped your hands together desperately in prayer, vehemently struggling with everything you had been raised to know and everything you wanted and needed to feel. It was an eternal battle that raged on inside, slowly withering you into a ghost, haunted by the darkness that had flourished in the absence of support and acceptance.
You wondered what the people who had claimed to love and know you the most, would do if they found out about your dirty, little secret. The anxieties about being outed manifested in cruel dreams, awakening you suddenly, a thin layer of sweat glistening on your body as your chest rose and fell in quick staccato breaths. 
That was something you still wondered today. And you would certainly wonder for the rest of your life. You had vowed that you would never come out to your family unless you truly fell in love with a girl. So you had kept everyone at arm's length to protect yourself. But Paige Bueckers was slowly breaking your walls down, brick by brick. 
A wave of nausea washes over you as you realize that getting closer to Paige meant toying the line of the false heteronormative persona you’ve been carefully crafting since you were a young teenager. The temptation of feeling normal in a group of girls quickly shuts down any immediate worries. That was a problem for another time. 
You hear your roommates in the living room, bustling around without having any idea of your internal battle. With a sigh, you drag yourself out of bed to go out to meet them, already preparing for the deafening noises that would inevitably come with telling them of last night's events. 
You open your door, nearly shuffling your feet against the carpet as you walk out to greet Taylor and Sarah. Their heads turn from the focus on the television, faces set in smiles as they see you emerge from your room.
“Guess what I did last night?” You prompt them, and their faces morph into ones of natural curiosity. 
“Did you read your class syllabuses to get a head start?” Sarah asks sarcastically, and you stick your tongue out at her in false derision. 
“No,” you scoff, although her guess was not completely off base. “I went over and hung out with Paige and the rest of the team.”
Taylor and Sarah were uncharacteristically quiet for a moment. They glanced at each other, momentarily stunned before erupting in hollers, jumping to their feet in excitement. 
“How the fuck did that happen?” Taylor all but yells, still jumping up and down. It was a good thing you did not have downstairs neighbors.
“Well they were being so loud, and I wanted to go to bed, so I knocked on the door to politely ask them to shut up,” you explain, trying to hide the giddiness you felt as you recalled the events of last night.
“And Paige answered and invited me in. And now I’m going out with her and the team tonight,” you finish, carefully watching the reactions of your two best friends. 
Their faces were morphed into ones of sheer delight and astonishment.
“My innocent, little angel is growing up,” Taylor exclaims, pretending to wipe a tear from her eye, and you swat at her, giggling at the sheer hilarity of the situation.
“What am I supposed to wear to a bar?” You ask, and the girls shriek in laughter, clapping their hands and promising to help you get dressed later.
You feel better about everything, the support from your roommates briefly quelling the fears and uncertainties that had plagued your mind for years. And your excitement was a testimony to the effect a certain blonde had on you.
~
“You’ve got great tits. Might as well show them off,” Sarah says exasperatedly, shoving one of her low cut tops at you.
Your face heats up, and you hold up the tiny tank top. “Don’t you think it’s a little, I don’t know, slutty?” Your voice trails to a whisper as you think about purposely showing off your body. 
“That’s the point, girl! It’s finally your time to show everyone what you’re fucking made of. Go be a sexy, bad bitch!” Taylor urges, slapping you on the butt as she does.
You take a deep breath, nodding in agreement, finally pushing yourself further away from the perfect, good girl act that had been placed upon you since you were a child. 
You don the skimpy black tank, admiring the way it shows off your slim waist, and you pair it with tight jeans that accentuate the curve of your ass perfectly. You fluff your hair and add a layer of lip gloss, before taking one last long glance in the mirror.
You could do this.
With a few encouraging words from your roommates and a few slaps to your ass, you nervously make your way across the hall to knock once more on Paige’s door. The door is thrown open, loud cheers erupting as you appear, and KK launches herself at you excitedly, throwing her arms around you and pulling you into her. 
Giggling, you hug her back, your nerves melting away at her friendly disposition. She pulls away, eyeing you up and down with an approving nod. “Someone cooked here,” she smirks, and your face blooms an embarrassing shade of deep red.
“My roommates kind of helped me get dressed,” you admit, hands tugging down your impossibly small shirt. 
“Girl, you look fineee,” she says, rubbing her hands together, causing several of the other girls to cackle at her not so subtle attempt to rizz you up.
“Who looks fine?” you hear a familiar voice, and your head whips in the direction of the question. You see Paige sauntering towards you, and your heart immediately begins to pound as your eyes rake over her tall figure. 
Her hair was down in blonde waves, making you want to reach out and run your hand through the soft-looking locks. Her toned stomach was exposed from her crop top, her abs flashing in a way that had your stomach rolling with an unfamiliar feeling. You couldn’t necessarily put your finger on it, but it shot down in an intense display of unbridled want. And she had the smuggest look on her face, accentuating the plumpness of her bottom lip. Your tongue subconsciously darts out to lick a slow line against your own lip as you watch her approach you.
KK points at you, waggling her eyebrows. “The pretty princess over here.” 
You blush again. Shit, you really had to get that under control. 
Paige hums, looking you up and down once more. “She’s not wrong,” she mutters huskily in your ear as she pulls you in for a hug. Your knees weaken at her touch, and you aren't sure if you’d be able to survive the night. It had just begun, and she had you completely and irrevocably fucked. 
30 minutes later, you, Paige, and the other members of UCONN’s women’s basketball team were shuffling into several ubers to head to a nearby bar. Unsure of which car to get into, you awkwardly stand off to the side, the anxiety pumping through your veins once more, but you soon feel a muscular arm wrap around your waist.
Looking up, you are met with Paige’s blue eyes and that smug smirk, and with a wink, she guides you to the nearest car, helping you into the backseat. As you sit, you adjust your top, overly aware of how much of your chest was actually out. Paige sits next to you, settling in with a low grunt, and she immediately places a hand on your thigh. Your eyes focus on the veins and the length of her fingers, and that feeling in your belly ignites again. 
As you arrive at the bar, Paige helps you out of the car with a chivalrous hand. And it does not leave yours as you enter the doors. She laces her fingers through yours, and you don’t miss the way it feels so damn right. She guides you through the crowds of people, and your breath hitches, feeling slightly overwhelmed from the volume and the hoards of drunk people pushing into your frame. 
Paige notices immediately, and she pulls you closer, tucking you into her side protectively. You preen at the attention, the feeling so foreign but addictive. You needed more, and the idea of it ripped away from you sent an unsettling spike of dread shooting through you maliciously. 
Subtly, you shake your head in a futile attempt to clear the thoughts out of your head. Overthinking was sure to be your downfall. Nothing a little alcohol couldn’t fix, though.
Aside from the occasional glass of wine, you had never really drank. And you certainly had never done shots. But when Nika and Aubrey had thrusted a tray of them towards where you and Paige were sitting, you were quick to grab one, eager to dull the bitter voices in your head. 
You bring it to your face, taking a hesitant sniff that causes your nose to wrinkle, eliciting a fond chuckle from the blonde. “Do I just sip it or…?” You trail off shyly, suddenly very aware of how ridiculous you sounded. What kind of college girl didn’t know how to take a shot?
Paige bites her lip. “Lemme help you, baby,” she mutters in your ear, and she takes the shot out of your hand. “Breathe all of the air out and then swallow it all at once before you take another breath, okay?” 
You nod, letting the air leave your mouth, lips pouting. Without her gaze leaving your mouth, Paige holds up the shot glass, pouring the liquid down your throat in a swift motion. 
You swallow quickly, feeling the burn slide down your throat and settle into a warm pool in your belly. You lick your lips, trying to catch a tiny drop that had slid past your mouth and trailed down your chin towards your neck. 
Before you can chase the trickle, Paige leans in, swiping it with her thumb, placing it into her mouth and sucking, her cheeks hollowing in the process. 
Your face morphs into a look of shock, and she gives you a shit-eating grin. The effect she had on you was something out of a book you spent many lonely nights immersing yourself in. And now that you were living in the crystal clear reality, you regretted not getting out of your shell a little sooner. 
“Can I do another?” You ask, already looking at the tray where a few shots still remained. 
Paige laughs. “Maybe wait a few, princess. The alcohol will kick in soon,” she promises. “You can share mine,” she gestures to her drink, and you don’t miss the way the pet name rolls off her tongue effortlessly. 
Paige was not lying when she had told you that the effects would soon hit you. Before you could even start to feel uncomfortable, a delicious easiness fell over you, loosening you up in a way you had never experienced before. You reach for Paige’s straw once more, pretending that her mouth was not just on it, and you relish in the sweet liquid adding to your tipsiness.
Paige had stayed close all night, similarly to the night before, and you were grateful for her constant presence anchoring you. The other girls took turns dancing with you, showering you with compliments and making future plans. Even through the haze of the alcohol, your heart felt as if it could burst; they were all so nice, and for the first time in a long time, you felt like you actually belonged. 
The night flies by, and as it does, you and Paige get more and more touchy. Her hands took turns between trailing down your back and resting heavily on your hips. She played with a lock of your hair, twisting it in her fingers as you swayed to the music, and she was constantly gazing at you through heavy lids, pupils blown from the darkness of the bar and pure want.
Emboldened by the drinks that had graced your lips, you don’t shy away, and before you know it, you’re leaning in closer, intoxicated by more than just the liquor. The bustling crowds and excessive noise surrounding you melts away as Paige grips your waist, pulling you closer into her. 
Your heart pounds at her proximity. She reaches up, cradling your jaw and stroking the soft skin of your neck with her thumb. You wonder if she can feel the thumping of your carotid, but you’re too enthralled in her presence to even care. Her eyes flit between your own and your slightly parted lips. Everything felt so fucking delicate, as if one small move would break everything. 
“Been thinkin’ about doin’ this all night,” she whispers, and pulls you into a kiss.
All the air is sucked out of you as her lips touch yours. And while you are momentarily stunned, it does not take long before yours are moving against her in a delicious exchange of passion. All worries of not being a good kisser leave your mind as Paige moans against your mouth, the sound shooting straight down your belly and to your pussy. Her tongue moves against you, and the feel of it does not help the slick now accumulating in your panties. 
The kiss eventually ends, much to your displeasure, and as you pull away, a giggle erupts from your mouth at the insanity of it all.
You had just kissed Paige Bueckers.
“OOH, P is fucking whipped!” KK shouts over the music, enthusiastically high-fiving Ice and Nika. 
Fuck, you were caught. 
But little did KK know, is that you were pretty fucking whipped, too. With one smooth move, Paige had broken down all your walls, and you were surrounded by the bricks of your carefully crafted innocence shattered around you at your feet. And maybe you could blame it on the alcohol, but you were pretty sure that if Paige made you anything less of a good girl, you were certainly okay with that. 
~
Part 3 - You get drunk off Paige, and confessions come out.
Part 4 - Paige makes you feel so good.
Part 5 - Paige shows you her strap.
Part 6 - Your newfound fascination with Paige's abs leads to some fun.
The beginning hits a little too close to home I’m so sorry I blacked out while writing it. It’s been almost 9 years since I realized I had feelings for girls, and I still struggle every day with accepting myself. To all the readers who are going through the same thing, I love you, and here’s to hoping things get better. If you ever want to reach out, my inbox is always open.
xoxo katy
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mcrdvcks · 4 months ago
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saw this and immediately got on my knees and barked came up with a short little drabble so enjoy :)
warnings/tags: one use of 'wife', mention of brushing hair from face
---
A gunshot rang out as you sighed from inside the house. You walked out with two cups of tea, one for you, one for Logan.
“I hope there isn’t gonna be blood in the yard again, Lo,” you say, glancing at the man in the red suit sprawled on the ground. You balance the tea cups in your hands, already feeling like today was going to be one of those days.
Logan, leaning back against the chair with a scowl under his hat, grunts. “Ain’t my fault the bastard doesn’t know when to shut up.”
“Or when to duck, apparently,” you add, stepping closer to Logan to offer him his tea. Wade groans from the ground, stirring a little, but neither of you pay him much attention.
Logan takes the cup, his eyes never leaving the intruder. “Who the hell even is this guy?”
“Hey, I’m this guy,” Wade manages, lifting a finger. “I have a name, you know—Deadpool. But you can call me Wade, Wolverine.”
Logan’s eyebrow arches. “Never heard of you.”
Wade groans again, dragging himself to a sitting position. “Multiverse shenanigans, don't worry about it. I’m just here for a sec. Gotta find a version of you that sticks.”
You exchange a glance with Logan, sipping your tea. “You inviting weirdos again, hon?”
Logan shakes his head, jaw tightening. “Not even once.”
“Oh, that hurts, really.” Wade winces as he gets to his feet, brushing off the dirt. “Anyway, gotta say, this place is nice. You two are like the mutant Notebook or something. Old Man Logan, living the simple life with—" he looks over at you and whistles—"a very badass wife.”
Logan growls low in his throat. “You about done?”
“Yeah, yeah, relax. Just—ah, there it is.” Wade’s eyes flick toward a shimmering, orange doorway materializing beside him. “Time to go. Don’t mind me, I'll just... walk through this mysterious door before you shoot me again. Or, you know, worse.”
Wade gives you both a salute before disappearing through the TVA portal without another word.
Logan watches the door close with a gruff snort. “Hope that’s the last of him.”
You chuckle, “hopefully.”
Logan catches you by the waist, his strong hands effortlessly pulling you over until you practically land on his lap. You let out a small laugh, setting your tea aside before it spills.
"Was that really necessary?" you tease, one hand resting on his chest as you settle into the warmth of his embrace. He just shrugs, his scowl softening into something resembling contentment as he looks at you.
“Couldn’t help myself,” he mutters, voice gruff but low, the edge of his usual grumpiness fading away.
You smile and press a quick kiss to his cheek, earning a soft grunt of acknowledgment. “You’re getting sentimental on me, old man.”
“Who you callin’ old?” Logan growls playfully, his fingers tightening just a bit around your waist. His thumb brushes against your side, the touch grounding and familiar.
You tilt your head, studying the man beneath you. His face is lined with years of battle, the roughness of life etched into every wrinkle, every scar. But there’s a softness in his eyes when he looks at you—a quiet, unspoken tenderness that never fails to pull you in.
“You,” you answer, your smile growing. “But I don’t mind.”
He grunts again, but there’s a flicker of amusement in his gaze. His hand moves up to brush a strand of hair away from your face, his thumb lingering on your cheek for a moment longer than necessary.
“You’re trouble, you know that?” he mutters, though there’s no bite to his words.
You lean in, your forehead resting against his. “You love it.”
Logan chuckles—a rare sound, low and rough like gravel—and his grip tightens around you, pulling you even closer. “Damn right I do.”
“But could you at least take the shotgun off your lap? It’s uncomfortable.”
Logan glances down at the blanket covering his legs, where the outline of the shotgun rests underneath. With a grunt, he shifts it to the side, setting it against the porch railing. "Better?"
"Much," you say, settling back into his lap with a satisfied smile. "Didn't want to have to compete with a shotgun for your attention."
Logan smirks, his hand resting on your hip, the weight of his touch warm and familiar. "Ain't much competition, darlin'."
You hum in response, leaning your head against his shoulder as you both sit in the quiet, only the occasional rustle of the trees around the cabin breaking the stillness. The simplicity of it all—the two of you, alone in this small moment—felt like a rare slice of peace in the chaotic life you both knew too well.
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delespresso · 2 months ago
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RERUN ━━ Fiyero x fem!reader
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author's note; this took longer than expected, i'm sorry! but here we are <3
prompt; "Admit it you missed me." "I certainly missed kicking your ass, if that's what you mean." for Fiyero x Reader? (maybe they knew eachother as kids?)
summary; fiyero's arrival in shiz university had everyone in a frenzy, but especially a certain lady from winkie country
side notes; i'm using a surname for the reader this time but its not an oc, feel free to imagine your own name! (i just didn't wanna use y/n). never read the books, so if i say anything about the vinkus/ winkie country is purely from google searches and maybe even made up by myself idk 😭
━━ ☄. *. ⋆
The newspaper pretty much hit her in the face.
She'd been walking in the courtyard, intending to head back to her dorm to get ready for her classes after an early morning jog. But the newspaper that somehow flew from a stack on one of the tables quite literally smacked her in the face.
She grabbed it with a huff, about to throw it aside. Of course, until the headline of the latest report from The Shiz Gazette caught her eye.
Prince Fiyero Spotted at Shiz!
She read it over and over again. Looked at the picture they'd printed repeatedly. Then she tossed it onto the floor, quite literally stomping over it as she ran back to her dorm.
When was the last time she saw that stupid, handsome prince? They were both younger then. Their separation was mainly because he could never for the life of him keep himself in one school — there was always something he did that had him transferred to a new one.
She'd thought that now she was in Shiz, maybe they wouldn't meet again. After all, it was quite a prestigious school. Maybe his nonchalant, slacking attitude would have him rejected the moment they saw his name.
She was so wrong.
He was here. Fiyero Tigelaar was here. The Winkie Prince. The boy she grew up with. The boy who stole her butterfly clips for no other reason than to make her run in the rain to catch him. The bane of her existence.
She was sure the universe was conspiring against her. The second she'd changed into her uniform, she left her dorm. Admittedly, it wasn't the typical blues that everyone wore. She was one of the few with a different shade; greys and lighter blues instead. She intended to head straight for her first class— only to find a small crowd gathered outside.
That horse. Oh, she knew the horse. She recognised the bloody horse before she even saw the person.
When someone finally moved their head out of the way, she caught sight of Fiyero Tigelaar himself. He was by the directory board, figuring out the layout of the place. Galinda was there too, no doubt trying to offer some touring services. He turned his head, about to respond to the blonde girl — when his gaze drifted over the girl's shoulder and found a familiar face.
A smile immediately broke on his ridiculously handsome face, his hand raised for a wave. It was as if everyone's attention immediately snapped to her.
She sighed inwardly, her eyes narrowed. The slightest nod was all the acknowledgement she gave him before she turned and trudged off elsewhere, avoiding him at all costs.
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She'd heard of his little escapade to the Ozdust Ballroom, bringing quite the group of students with him for a night out in town. Already he was rubbing off on everyone, influencing them into his bad habits.
Fiyero had been in Shiz for a week now, and she'd successfully avoided him. But of course her peace and quiet couldn't last forever. In the back shelves of the library, as she skimmed through the book bindings to find a history book — she was loudly interrupted.
“Lady Yarrow.”
She nearly dropped a book with a gasp, startled by the sudden intrusion. Then she was quick to hush the person, spinning on her heels to see Fiyero's smug expression.
“This is a library,” she pointed out.
“Really? It was introduced to me as the ‘bookplace’,” he hummed, looking around as if it was a new discovery.
She rolled her eyes, inhaling deeply to prevent herself from yelling at him like she used to back when they were in Winkie Country.
“Library,” she repeated. “And you're meant to be quiet.”
Fiyero grinned, knowing she was getting ticked off already.
“And is this ever-present tension a new development? Or have I forgotten how easy you are to rile up?” he teased.
The young girl he knew was always sensitive, took everything to heart. They weren't necessarily best of friends but they weren't enemies either — or so he believed.
“Why are you here?” she deflected with ease as she turned back to searching for her book.
“I wanted to read.”
“Ha!”
“Shh, its a library,” he exclaimed in a mock whisper, repeating her earlier words as she shot him an exasperated glare.
“Why are you in Shiz?” she asked instead, moving on from the topic.
“Transferred from Royal Winkie.”
“Kicked out, I believe is the right term.”
“Oh so you have been keeping up with me?” he exclaimed, a bit of a giddy grin on his face as tailed her through the shelves.
When she didn't respond, he just skipped his way until he was in front of her. He walked backwards as she moved forward, still looking through the titles.
“I haven't. But you know our parents,” she grumbled.
“Admit it, princess, you missed me,” he teased, poking at her shoulder.
She swatted his hand away, looking up at him with narrowed eyes. He was still as insufferable as ever.
“I certainly missed kicking your ass, if that's what you mean.”
Fiyero chuckled at that, but he persisted anyway. He just kept shadowing her through the library, pestering her with random teases or jokes even until she was leaving. Even then he followed her.
She just couldn't seem to shake him even if she tried.
“Princess,” he drawled, knowing full well how much she hated when he called her that.
He couldn't help it though — getting on her nerves was his hobby. Not to mention, he hasn't seen her in years.
She ignored him though, continuing to walk through the halls and towards the garden instead. Fiyero knew she was stubborn, but so was he.
“Ignoring me won't make me go away,” he pointed out.
“Throwing a log at you might.”
His laugh was awfully gleeful for someone who just got threatened. When she settled at one of the tables in the garden, she noticed he wasn't directly with her anymore.
Just as she thought she was free of his torment, there was a daffodil suddenly in front of her face. She looked at the hand holding the yellow flower, following it up to see his cheeky and smug face. In a smooth motion, he slid the flower in her hair as an extra accessory.
"You know, I think I'll enjoy wearing you down," he said, before giving her his signature smile and walking away.
Fiyero Tigelaar made it his life mission to bother her at all times from that day onward — letting history repeat itself, as always.
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astonmartinii · 1 month ago
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other side of the moon: interlude - a tango in barcelona | formula one imagine
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interlude: a tango in barcelona
pairing: fem retired formula one driver reader x ??? fem retired formula one driver reader x platonic!kimi antonelli
dancing around her teammate on and off track, y/n looks to boogie her troubles away.
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR | PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE
may 2020, spain.
life at mclaren hadn’t started the way y/n had hoped. the days were long and surprisingly quiet, the latter mostly due to her teammate and his aversion to acknowledging her existence. she was tired already this weekend and they hadn’t even raced yet.
the barcelona heat was making her race suit stick to her already just walking to the grid for the national anthem. “it’s hot as balls” y/n whined as she slipped between max and george while the choir set up ahead of them.
“oh my sweet summer child, we haven’t even gotten to singapore yet,” max said taking off his ice vest and fastening it to y/n.
“ugh don’t remind me,” y/n wiped more sweat off of her brow, “i think singapore might kill me.”
george laughed, moving his umbrella to the left so it covered y/n as well, “singapore is a baptism by fire, but you’ve done well so far this season so i don’t think you’ll have too hard a time.”
y/n smiled up at the taller brit, “thanks georgie, maybe if you’re such an expert in singapore you’ll be able to catch me.” she punctuated it with a wink, george nearly dropping the umbrella in response.
“do you mind? you nearly took my eye out with this thing!” max hissed at george, flicking the umbrella. george lifted the umbrella to get it out of eye range of the dutchman, who in turn saw it as an invitation to seek refuge in the shade.
“no way verstappen, this umbrella is for pretty people only,” george grabbed y/n’s hand and moved them a couple steps away.
“if that was so, only y/n would be allowed under it beanstalk.”
“if my height is the only thing you can think to insult me about, i can live.”
“oh believe me there’s a lot more stored up, i just wouldn’t want to give you any inspiration for when you take out a backmarker and blame everyone but yourself.”
y/n sighed dramatically, “already? i thought you two were going to cool it down this season. i don’t even understand how you have a rivalry, you’re nowhere near him on track george…” george let out a scandalised squeal, “oh my bad george, you know what i meant.”
“i think what y/n means is that she doesn’t rate you ‘mr saturday’”.
as george went to bite back but the loud horns of the national anthem cut their quarrel off early. y/n fought to keep her laugh in throughout the national anthem, seeing george seething in her peripheral vision. he was so easy to rattle it was practically a pastime of half the grid at this point.
before george could get a dig back in, y/n and max were back in deep conversation, discussing their approach to turn two with just minutes until the formation lap. he yearned to be the one that y/n spilled her tips, tricks and secrets to but like most of his life, the dutchman had beaten him to that honour. now he knew how lando felt.
lando, george and alex had bonded long before 2018, but their three-way title fight in formula two brought them closer rather than forcing them apart. george cherished that friendship, he found it invaluable to have two of his closest friends with him as they entered the cutthroat world of formula one - he just wished he could’ve been that person for y/n.
lando didn’t often articulate it well, but george understood his curly-haired friend’s struggles. lando had gushed all off season about having y/n as his teammate, chatting animatedly about potential roadtrips, shared flights and sleepovers before it was all snuffed out in a moment. george always suspected that lando felt more about their friend than he let on (or thought he let on). once he had thought it was a victim of circumstance, teenage boys discovering what these new hormones were doing to their body did tend to fixate on the one girl in their midst. but as they grew up, that puppy love crush didn’t seem to wain, not that anyone else around them seemed to notice.
a single comment from one max verstappen crushed that. a late night discord call between the rookie trio and max had naturally seen the topic of y/n arise. lando, as usual, started to wax lyrical about the season ahead, with his vision for their teammate relationship constructed in his head.
“mate, we’ve already started.”
“huh?” lando’s voice stuttered over the call, he cleared his throat, “what do you mean?”
“y/n and i,” max continued, “we’ve already started doing sim runs together, watching onboards and all that jazz.” the dutchman said it so casually, unaware of lando’s imminent heartbreak - george’s too, he just hid it better.
“but why? i’m going to be her teammate, not you? why would she even use your sim, she’s racing for mclaren next year not red bull.”
not noticing the path they were hurtling down, max dug his foot in, “no offence lando, but if y/n wants my tips, i’m going to give it to her. it’s noble for you to want to look out for her, but realistically what tips could you give her that are better than mine… i am the only one here who has actually won a race.”
alex loudly coughed, stopping max before he could continue. “it’s getting late, maybe we should call it a night?”
“it’s nine o’clock?” max questioned.
“no, i’m tired,” lando let out an undoubtedly fake yawn, “i think it’s time for bed.”
“okay suit yourselves,” max said, going back to his iracing, “lando, don’t take it too personally that she chose me. we’ve been friends for so long, we don’t know anything but each other.”
“i’ve known her just as long as you!”
it was starting to get a little heated and despite alex and george trying to interject, the two kept going.
“you may have known her just as long, but you don’t know her. we’ve been there for each other at our lowest and our highest. it’s not a competition. i honestly hope she comes to you next season, i don’t trust your team as far i can throw them. it will be good to have someone in her corner.”
“oh well if you’re that magnificent then why can’t you be her white knight all the way from red bull, huh?”
“you know what lando, we’ll talk about this again once you’ve shaken off this weird primal urge you have to ‘claim’ her. a piece of advice, she won’t like that.”
“oh you insufferable little shit-”
“goodbye everyone!” alex interjected, kicking max out of the call.
“what the fuck was that lando?”
“you heard him, posterising, peacocking and then having the gall to say that i’m being territorial over y/n.”
george sighed, his affection for the same girl was going to have to be buried even deeper after this. “max wasn’t peacocking about y/n, lando. if anything he was showing off his wins rather than her,” alex tried to reason.
“no! he can’t let us - can’t let me have anything. it’s always been this way and with y/n it’s like he knows deep down that i want her so he has to have her instead. he’s clinging on to her and shoving it in my face - it’s not my fault he has a shit dad and he attached himself to her because she was the only one not afraid of him - so why am i being punished for it?”
lando’s outburst rendered alex and george silent. the older one was horrified to say the least, the season hadn’t even started and lando’s jealousy was already out of hand.
“lando, that was too far…” alex said softly.
“no! he thinks that because he has a shitty sob story that he can just claim her? she’s her own person!”
“right. i’m going to stop you there before you say something that’ll make me hate you for real. you need to get over what ever the fuck this is so you can be a normal fucking human being next season,” alex tried to reason with lando.
“i am in love with her!”
“are you? or are you in love with the thought of what could happen? have you actually stopped and wondered whether y/n likes you or even likes men? for someone so protective over her, you haven’t considered her feelings too much.”
lando has the foresight to look a little guilty. george stayed silent, he knows alex is suspicious of him too, but that can of worms can wait until another day.
“you need to get a life and calm down. max is one of your best friends and i know deep down you didn’t mean a word you said tonight but you need to get a grip before you say any of that in front of him or y/n because i’m sorry but i won’t be stopping them if they try to hit you.”
lando doesn’t say anything, but the guilty look on his face says enough.
“goodnight.”
the call ended there and was never brought up again. george watched y/n waltz back towards the mclaren garage, a big gap between her and lando. there had been no more outbursts since that night but if what george overheard from daniel, lando had still managed to completely screw himself. was george that angry at that news? not really.
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the race was pretty uneventful, barcelona usually was. y/n started in sixth and managed to pip charles to fifth after ferrari screwed up his pitstop once again. despite her deep love for sangria, y/n didn’t really feel like leaving her hotel room after she had scrubbed all of the sweat and grime off in the shower.
she was pleased with her points haul, smiling to herself in debrief as they analysed lando’s first lap incident with pierre gasly that lando just insisted was no fault of his own…
her ring tone invaded her peaceful evening, the name ‘albono’ flashing up on her phone. pressing accept,
“how can i help you on this fine evening, mr albon?”
“well i find myself in this fine dancing establishment, looked around and thought it was crying out for a little y/n y/ln action.”
“dancing you say?”
“i’m 100% serious, sebastian of all people has dragged also to a bar where they’re attempting to teach us the tango…”
“oh i love the tango! it’s my favourite dance on strictly…”
“so what i’m hearing is that i should get a tequila sunrise in preparation for your arrival?”
y/n sighed, “yes you may.”
“score! i’ll send you the address and an uber. see you soon.”
so there goes her quiet night in, but who wouldn’t love the chance to tango with your close friends in under the stars? and she had packed her little red number… maybe the y/n who packed that suitcase all those days knew something current y/n didn’t.
y/n elected to skip most of her makeup routine, her skin sensitive from all the sweat in her balaclava, swiping on some mascara, lip gloss and a healthy dose of blush. like alex said, the uber was waiting for her outside the lobby.
the outside of the bar looked closer to a college dive bar than somewhere you’d expect to find a group of formula one drivers, but she suspects that’s why sebastian chose it.
“buenes noches senorita,” fernando alonso gave her a spin on entry.
“gracias nando,” she curtsied in front of the spaniard, drawing a laugh out of the elder driver, “i am sorry to cut this short, but i am tired and i fear i have already promised my one dance to another.”
“how will i ever recover?”
“i think you’ll find a way old man.”
“you wound me, but alex is waiting for you by the bar.”
y/n made her way through the bar, spotting several drivers caught up in their dancing lessons from the locals. she tapped alex on the shoulder, with the tall driver turning, wielding her tequila sunrise.
“nice of you to turn up at last,” alex teased, handing her the drink.
“i’ll have you know i was snuggled up ready for some netflix action before you called.”
“you came all this way for a dance with little ol’ me?”
“of course, alex. i have missed you.”
“i have missed you too, the red bull stuff is piling up and i have been neglecting my big brother duties, i’m sorry. not that it seems to be effecting your rookie season too much.”
“don’t worry about me alex, i’m proud of you and what you’re doing at red bull, even if they’re being unreasonably hard on you.”
alex led her to the middle of the dance floor and put one hand on her hip, the other on her shoulder. they started to move to the music,
“i just miss when it was more laidback. i barely have time to stop between sim sessions and media duties and performance meetings. i miss sitting in your driver room laughing at your instagram private messages and watching stupid adam sandler movies.”
alex spun her and as she came back to him she said, “we can still do that alex! you don’t have to be alone, we can still watch adam sandler movies and ignore calls from helmut.”
alex smiled at her as the music slowed down.
“i wish i was here for you more in your rookie season,” alex laments but y/n interjects, “it’s only the fourth race. you’re focused on you and i wouldn’t want anything else. there’s time for us to find our way back to each other. you're a brother to me, like blood, there’s nothing that can destroy that bond.”
“i’m sorry lando is being a prick.”
“it is what it is.”
“no it’s not. we had each other last year, he should be there for you.”
“it’s whatever, i have max, i have you, i’ll survive.”
the music came to an end. the two embraced but when they broke apart y/n started heading for the exit, picking up max on the way through, the dutchman having already booked them an uber. y/n turned and waved to alex, she meant it when she said it was just one dance. she made a ‘call me sign’ and mouthed ‘adam sandler’ before rushing out of the bar with max.
alex turned and made his way to george who was still nursing his first drink at the bar. george didn’t respond when alex prompted him. the thai man nudged george laughing about how ‘y/n knows how to make a short and sweet appearance’ but still got nothing.
“you’re not seriously angry about a tango are you george?”
“no.”
“you’re a terrible liar,” alex whispered, “not as bad as lando but terrible nonetheless.”
“at least i’m not taking it out on her like lando.”
“no, you just use max as target pratice on your dart board for shits and giggles.”
“whatever.”
“fine, deal with it how you wanna big boy, but if you turn out like lando right now, i’ll be down two best friends and up two murder charges.”
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fin.
note: my first interlude! @deviltsunoda and i came up with these ideas so i could write shorter things while i have work and you guys still get fed! so enjoy this lil exploration into y/n and alex's friendship (they are so precious to me!) and why lando is being such an asshole... enjoy! the weekend should bring chapter four.
taglist: @folkloresreputation @hc-dutch @shimmermotorsport @96mcobo @eclipsedcherry @formulaal @czennieszn @gothicwidowsworld @emily-b @suns3treading @henna006 @kazgirl20 @anotherapollokid @littlegrapejuice @daemyratwst @annimausi @yawn-zi @lulu-1998 @xsilkesworld @justaf1girl @daddyslittlevillain @evans-dejong @abq654 @elizamoe133 @wierdflowerpower @t1nkerbel1 @okcurran @raizelchrysanderoctavius @skepvids @multilovebot @fernandoalonso14 @jules-kup-172 @m4xgirlie @rorabelle15 @minkyungseokie @formula1-motogpfan @peterholland04 @miureiz @freyathehuntress @lighttsoutlewis @aleatorio1234 @chaosandevelyn @blueberry648579 @dog-and-cat-person230 @fastandcurious16 @obxstiles @cosmicwintr @becca388510 @savagittariuspy
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hotshotsxyz · 3 months ago
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since forever
(buddie) (1.3k words) at no point in time while writing this did i have a single plan for where it was going. it's soft, it's sweet, it has minor spoilers for the blair witch project (1999)
Bizarrely, the first thing that occurs to Eddie post-realization is that he lied to a priest. The thought startles a laugh out of him. Whoops.
He feels good. Like—shockingly good. Light and optimistic and free, everything he’s been trying to let in since Father Brian gave him the go ahead to stop punishing himself, which—
It isn’t actually that he needed permission, especially not from a priest. Or maybe he did.
All he really knows is that this joy he’s letting in? It doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t hurt him, or Chris or Buck or anyone else he loves. So when Eddie finally realizes why he’s been putting Buck in his own category for years, he doesn’t even try to put it back in the box.
He loves Buck. He wants Buck. And he’s allowed to want. It’s a good thing, even. And speaking of Buck—
His best friend/the love of his freaking life is staring at him like he’s grown two heads. Which, fair. He’s not entirely sure where they are in the movie, but as far as he recalls there isn’t much in the way of comedy in The Blair Witch Project.
It’s just—Buck was sitting on the literal edge of his seat, pillow clutched protectively to his chest, staring at the TV with eyes wider than dinner plates. Who in their right mind could see something like that and come to any conclusion other than love?
Buck pauses the movie.
“Do not tell me you think this,” he says, gesturing at the screen where, oof, yeah, a young woman is sobbing in terror, “isn’t scary.”
“No, no,” Eddie replies, “very scary.”
Buck snorts. “You’re such an asshole,” he says, but it’s wrapped in one of those warm grins that give him away every time.
Eddie hums agreeably.
“Alright, fine,” Buck says. He scoots closer until he’s flush against Eddie’s side. It’s really not that much of a scoot. “If you’re gonna go all brave strong man on me, I get to use you as a shield.”
“I guess I can live with that,” Eddie sighs. He wraps an arm around Buck’s shoulders, just because he wants to.
He can feel Buck’s exhale as he settles against his shoulder, and for all the times they’ve touched before, this feels different. Maybe it isn’t, though. Maybe Eddie’s just different.
As the tension in the movie ramps, Buck burrows further and further into Eddie. He kicks his feet up onto the couch and twists so that Eddie’s forearm falls from his shoulder and drapes across his chest instead. It’s maybe the most comfortable Eddie’s ever been.
On screen, the two remaining characters creep into a seemingly abandoned house. On the couch, Buck squeaks and grabs Eddie’s hand. This, he decides, is his new favorite movie.   
“We’re never going hiking again,” Buck declares as the credits roll.
“Sure,” Eddie says, shrugging with the shoulder that isn’t currently occupied by Buck’s head. “Until you see a cool trail on Instagram.”
“I’m serious!” Buck says. He tilts his head back until he can kind of make eye contact with Eddie. “I am not getting Blair Witched.”
Eddie hums, pretending to think about it. “How about we just… never go hiking in Maryland?” he proposes.
Buck grins up at him, and oh, Eddie has never wanted to kiss someone as much as he does in this exact moment.
“Deal,” Buck says. He sits back up and rests his head back against Eddie’s shoulder.
There’s a long stretch of quiet where Buck plays with his fingers and Eddie revels in the feeling of it. He thinks—he’s almost certain—that he could ask Buck for anything right now and he’d say yes.
Kiss me.
Move in with me.
Marry me.
His lips tick into a small smile at the thought, but he takes it no further.
“Hey, Eds?” Buck asks quietly.
The TV screen has shut itself off, leaving the room in semi-darkness, cut only by the light of the streetlamps outside.
“Yeah?”
“Something’s different,” he says. It’s not a question.
“It is,” Eddie acknowledges.
“Good different?”
Eddie considers for a moment. Something about the hour, the darkness, Buck’s warmth against his side, makes him feel brave. He presses the smallest, softest of kisses into Buck’s hair.
“Good different,” Eddie confirms.
“Oh,” Buck breathes.
“Good ‘oh’?” Eddie asks teasingly.
Buck flicks one of Eddie’s fingers in recompense. “If I didn’t know you better, I’d think you were fishing for something,” he says.
“If I am?”
Buck takes a shaky breath. “Then I’m gonna need you to spell it out for me, Eds.”
He sits up and turns to face Eddie directly, and as much as Eddie misses the warmth of his body, he wants to look Buck in the eye for this part.
“I love you,” Eddie says.
Buck’s lips part in an awed sort of surprise.
“I’m in love with you,” he continues. “I have been, for years, I think. I just… wasn’t ready to let myself look at it.”
“Eddie,” Buck says, already a little wrecked.
“You don’t have to say anything,” Eddie reassures. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“No, I—” Buck says quickly, stumbling over his words. “I didn’t—I’ve never even—” He looks down and his expression shifts, like he didn’t realize he was still holding on to Eddie’s hand. “You love me?” Buck asks, looking back up, eyes shining in the yellow glow of the streetlamps.
“Yeah,” Eddie says softly. “More than I think I knew was possible.”
Buck exhales in a punched-out kind of way. He raises a hand to Eddie’s face and ghosts two fingers along his cheekbone and down the line of his jaw. “I didn’t—I didn’t know I could,” he breathes.
“You can, Buck,” Eddie says. “Whatever you want, it’s—”
Buck surges forward and cuts him off with a kiss, and if there was a single doubt left in Eddie’s mind, this would’ve extinguished it. It’s a little messy, a little awkward, and the angle’s not quite right, but—
It’s Buck, so it’s perfect.
He pulls back, gasping for air. “I—I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—”
Eddie catches one of his hands and rubs his thumb in soothing circles on Buck’s wrist. “Don’t be,” Eddie says softly. “It’s okay. If you need time—”
“No!” Buck says quickly. “Or—maybe? I just—” He blows out a sharp breath.
“Hey,” Eddie says, ducking his head until Buck meets his eye again. “I told you once that you didn’t need to be anything for anybody. That includes me, okay?”
“Jesus, Eddie,” Buck says.
“I’m just saying, you don’t have to make any decisions tonight. You don’t even have to want,” Eddie says, gesturing between them in lieu of finishing his sentence.
Buck sags a little. “Of course I want,” he whispers.
Warmth floods Eddie’s chest and overflows into his stomach. “Yeah?” he asks.
A slow smile spreads across Buck’s face. “Yeah,” he says. “I really do.”
Eddie has known happiness before, felt it in small bursts and long stretches. But what he’s feeling now—it’s blindingly bright, brilliant and beautiful and free of fear in a way he’s not sure he’s ever experienced.
“Can I kiss you again?” Buck asks breathily.
Eddie nods, not quite sure he can trust his tongue anymore.
This time, Buck leans forward deliberately. He cups Eddie’s face in his hands and tucks his nose against Eddie’s before carefully brushing their lips together. It’s featherlight and maddening in the best possible way.
He presses his lips against Eddie’s again, then teases them open with his tongue and—
God, if this is how it was always supposed to feel, Eddie’s pretty sure there are a few more revelations coming his way in the near future. For now, though, he just leans in.
“Oh!” Buck exclaims, popping back suddenly. “I love you, too,” he says. There’s something like wonder coloring his tone and writing itself across his face. “I really—Eddie, I think I’ve loved you forever.”
It’s not possible, not really. As difficult as it is to remember what it was like before his life became intertwined with Buck’s, that before still exists. Eddie knows that. But in his heart—he’s pretty sure his atoms started loving Buck’s at the beginning of the universe.
“Yeah,” Eddie says, drawing Buck back in. “Me too.”
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satcrvz · 8 months ago
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LOVEFOOL!
— in which your boyfriend sneaks into your room and decides it’s a good idea to watch a horror movie.
SATORU GOJO X F!READER, readers love language is lowk physical touch, not proofread (are we shocked anymore)
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thud.
you averted your gaze to the direction the sound game from, and behold, it was gojo. you began to question him. what could he possibly want at eleven at night?
"satoru? what are you doing here?!" you ask.
"you don't want me here?" he cries dramatically. you swore you’d never closed the space between the two of you that fast. your palm rose to cover his mouth.
you quickly reminded him, "quiet down! you know you're not supposed to be here." he gives a nod in affirmation to your words and you let go. you took a step back and started up the conversation again.
"so.." you began, "why are you here?"
he scoffs and makes his way to your bed. "well, you weren’t answering my texts." he says while falling back onto your bed.
you smile at him before making your way to situate yourself next to him. "you could’ve callled me."
he hums at your words, "yeah. guess i just wanted to see you." he props himself up on his elbows to look at you sitting next to him.
the sound of heavy rain followed by lightning and thunder catches your attention.
"damnit." you say as you get up to close the window.
he makes his way to you in an attempt to persuade you to stay, but his plan backfires. for the second time tonight, satoru gojo has fallen in your room.
this earned a laugh from you, which was probably louder than a 6'3" guy hitting your hardwood.
"baby, love of my life, what part of 'you aren't supposed to be here' didn’t click?"
"that one was an accident! i tripped over my slide! come help me up, please?"
you sighed and extended your hand towards him.
"you can stay, i'm not going to send you back into the storm."
"yes!" he says while pulling his elbow down with his hand in a fist. you laugh and roll your eyeballs at him.
the two of you were finally settled on your bed. the scene consisted of his back resting on the headboard with one of your plushies on his lap, while you scrolled through movies with him refusing any you suggested.
"babe! what do you want to watch then!? you’ve rejected like, the last 5 movies and said maybe to one of them."
he moves the plush in his lap to face you and puts on a high pitched voice, "turn on a horror film!"
"no way."
"pleaseee! it'll be good, i promise."
"and what do i get in return?" you ask.
"super hot boyfriend protecting you from the big bad monsters? i dunno."
you hand the remote to him and let him do his own thing. "you’re so cocky."
after scrolling through the horror selection, he finally lands on the conjuring 2. yeah you definitely weren’t going to sleep after this.
"move it buddy." he’s confused on what you're doing, but quickly catches on after he sees you removing the animal from his left hand and replacing it with your own.
the movie went by and around the 30 minute mark, you’d become startled by the man on the screen. you jumped but your face remained the same. you wouldn’t have said anything about it, but your boyfriend started lightly snickering.
"did you seriously jump?" he looks over to you.
"oh, shut up!" you raise your hand that was intertwined with his and gently slap the back of his hand.
toward the end of the movie, you started to drift asleep but managed to stay awake. gojo saw this as the perfect opportunity to mess with you. he put his hands on both sides of your stomach grabbed you as he said "boo!" in a hushed tone.
your eyes widened as you jumped, then quickly returned to normal to give him an unamused look.
"i hate you." you say.
"if you hated me, you would've sent me back home." he says.
"i hate that you're right." you say while draping yourself over him. " 'm gonna sleep now, you should too."
"i will once the movie finishes."
you hum in acknowledgement and began going to sleep. it didn’t take long for you to fall asleep, given that you were already tired.
"i love you." he says before shutting off the tv.
he knew he wasn't supposed to be there and the risk of your parents seeing him there, but he didn’t care. if it meant he got to spend time with you, then he’d take that risk.
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