#she looked sad at the idea of him being adopted by someone else even if he wanted him to have a home

[mayasdeluca]

CARINA AND LIAM DELUCA-BISHOP Station 19 7x01: 'This Woman's Work'

[suzukiblu]

Y'all know how DC used to have that whole "last and only Kryptonian" editorial mandate in place for Superman?

I'm really tempted by a fic idea with Clark in that setup, where he is quietly sad about being the last and only but has settled into it and doesn't think about it too much. He's the last. It's just how it is. At least he's alive. At least he's doing good in the world. And he has his parents and the Justice League and Lois and his friends, so it's not like he's alone.

But he's the last. He and Lois can't have biological children together, which is holding him back from her, because it wouldn't be fair to her. To deny her that, if she wants it. He doesn't even know if there's any species he could reproduce with at all, and isn't even sure he wants to check.

He's adopted. Obviously. So he knows it's not vital to have a biological relationship. He knows it doesn't matter. He could love an adopted human child just the same as he'd love a biological Kryptonian one. Or a . . . hybrid one, even.

Just . . .

Just sometimes, he wishes there was someone else. Someone to understand. To share it all with. Everything about Krypton and his powers and just--he's the last whale in the metaphorical galactic ocean who is singing at the particular pitch he is singing at and it is so, so lonely. He loves humans, Amazons, Atlanteans, everyone on this planet, but they don't . . . they don't quite look right, sometimes. Don't quite sound right, or move right. Don't always . . . understand.

They're just . . . not quite what he's missing. What he's never really had.

And then Hypertime-era Kon who just finished up with the whole Black Zero mess gets dumped into this reality instead of his home one (alive and vibrant and Kryptonian and wearing the El crest on his chest and Clark's own colors and claiming the NAME "El"), and is very, very confused by the way that the local Kal reacts to him.

Clark knows he can't keep the kid. Knows they need to get him home. Back to his reality, his friends, his own Superman.

He knows that, but . . .

But.

[buckybabesonly]

As If It Was Really That Easy

Summary: There's nothing more painful than wondering what your love could have been.

Pairing: Bucky x Female!Avenger!reader, Bucky x Natasha, Steve x Female!reader

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Emotional infidelity (if you squint), love triangle. Sad ending - proceed with caution.

Word count: 8.2k

Being in love with someone who was already taken must have been a torture created by the Devil himself.

You hadn't planned on falling for him when you first met him. Then again, no one plans on falling in love. You thought that love was simultaneously the most beautiful and cruel phenomenon of all - it was capable of making you feel like you wanted to protect and care for him with all your heart, but also bring out the ugliest of emotions: jealousy, sorrow and misery, to name a few.

You thought you would get over it, eventually. And it had become easier, seeing Bucky and Natasha together, as time passed. A consolation for your unreciprocated love was the fact that you had found a new, adopted family within the Avengers, and that made you happier than ever.

You would do anything for them, to protect them. You fiercely reminded yourself of this whenever you found yourself looking at Bucky a little too long, or when your skin burned at his touches.

He's just the same as everyone else.

You teetered at the precipice of falling into an abyss that you wouldn’t be able to climb out of, feeling so frustratingly infatuated with someone you couldn’t have, and you were determined not to let yourself topple over the edge.

You didn't know how your platonic feelings for him had spiraled into something so much more, but if you could fall in love, you were certain you could fall back out.

Steve insisted on celebrating your one year 'anniversary' of joining the team, gifting you a small cupcake with red, white and blue sprinkles, ruffling your hair with a playful wink. You had no idea how time had elapsed so quickly, but there you were.

It was the start of a new calendar year, too - as you blew out the tiny candle Steve had stabbed into the cake, you promised yourself resolutely that this would be the year you would really made an effort to get over a certain, ruggedly handsome brunette. You didn't want to spend more time unhealthily pining over a man when you could find somebody who actually loved you, too.

Fantasizing about him was an unhealthy, self-inflicted torture. You were confident that he had no idea what your true feelings were, and you would never dream of telling him. You adored Natasha as much as anyone else, and the idea of stepping in-between the two of them was unfathomable.

However, your feelings for Bucky had no doubt wedged an invisible wall between yourself and Natasha, even if you didn't realize it. It meant that you were never quite able to be fully open with her, fearful that if she was able to read you like she was with everyone else, she would know that you were completely enamored with her boyfriend.

It was slightly hard to disguise your affection when you saw Bucky get hurt. To Natasha, it was a regular, everyday occurrence, unworthy of particular fuss - but when you saw him, you wanted so badly to ask him if he was okay.

Today was one of those days. You and Steve were in one of the common rooms - you had been spending a lot of alone time with him lately - when Bucky and Sam traipsed in.

"Hey," you said in greeting, raising your hand. Your eyes followed Bucky closely, noticing that he had a fresh wound on the bridge of his nose. You gnawed on your lower lip in discomfort.

Not your place, you reminded yourself brusquely. Stop staring.

“You guys okay?” he asked as he walked over, clasping a hand on yours and Steve’s backs simultaneously. He was in good spirits despite his slightly battered features, a charming smile playing on his lips.

“All good,” Steve said. “We were just talking about the Albania mission.”

“Ah.” Bucky paused, cocking his head at you. “First mission just the two of us. You nervous?” His smirk made you roll your eyes. Your heart thumped erratically, betraying you.

“Nervous about what?”

“All that time spent together, don’t want you falling in love with me,” he joked. Your throat tightened, your smile stretching wider as you let out a sarcastic laugh.

“Ha ha ha. Very funny,” you said dryly. Too close to home.

You missed the look of discomfort in Steve’s eyes. He pursed his lips, shifting his position in the chair so his knees bumped slightly against yours.

“You sure you’re up for this?” Steve asked seriously, making you frown.

“What?”

“Your leg injury,” he reminded you.

“Is fully healed,” you stated firmly, though you knew he was only concerned for you. “Don’t worry about me.”

Easier said than done, Steve wanted to say, his eyes lingering on you for just a second too long. Not that you noticed. You were looking at Bucky, an expression on your face that he couldn’t decipher. It frustrated him, sometimes, being unable to know what you were thinking.

“I’ll brief you both tomorrow morning,” Steve grunted, his hand squeezing your shoulder. “8am. Don’t be late.”

Bucky and you were very close friends. The friendship had ironically bloomed the more you forced your true feelings for him down, locking them away and refusing to let them come out. You went on missions together a lot, and would be working together even more once you were dispatched on your mission in Albania. One that was supposed to last for at least a month as you gathered intel on the latest enemy base.

But, you had enough practice, and you were confident that you would be able to control everything, your heart included. You were certain.

Bucky and you trained together almost every day, having very similar fighting styles, even though Bucky was far stronger than you. He seemed to notice that your gait was off, scowling as he tapped your thigh.

"You told Steve you were fine," he said, unaware of the shocks he was sending through you at the unexpected touch.

"I am," you insisted. At his disbelieving look, you relented. "Okay, fine. My knee isn't quite the same. But I'm fine - I can still fight. Go on, attack me right now, do it." Your voice was aggressive as you motioned for Bucky to tackle you.

"Calm down, kitten," he said, raising his hands in the air. Kitten. That was a first. "I'm not doubting your ability to fight. But Steve might strangle me if something happens to you."

"You're not my babysitter," you scowled.

"Funny, that's exactly what I said to him."

You rolled your eyes, deciding to call it quits for the day. You both took a seat on the side of the training room before you asked lightly, "Where's Natasha these days?"

Bucky shrugged, turning his face away from you slightly. Silence.

"What's going on?" you frowned, tilting your head and elbowing his bicep.

Bucky raked his fingers through his short hair, ruffling it up before he sighed.

"Just...going through a bit of a rough patch," he admitted. "It's nothing serious." He looked down at the floor, still avoiding your eyes.

"Oh. Right." You were concerned at the way Bucky was now looking slightly deflated. "You want to talk about it?"

Bucky gave you a thin smile, shaking his head.

"It's alright. I just want to focus on this mission. I don't know, maybe the time away will help us clear our heads," he said, referring to himself and Natasha.

You wanted to know more, but decided not to pry. He would share in good time. Hearing the fact that he was having relationship trouble with his girlfriend shouldn't have teased out a tendril of hope in you, but it did, and you felt awful. The guilt must've been clear on your face, as Bucky cocked his head at you.

"What?"

"Uh, nothing," you lied, sipping your bottle of water. "Let's get some rest. Got an early start tomorrow."

Saying goodbye to the compound was easy - you went on missions all the time. However, living solo with Bucky was a whole new experience.

Being together in a tiny shoe box apartment led to some situations which you definitely did not foresee. Those situations tested the limits of your ability to pretend not to be insanely attracted to Bucky.

It didn't matter how much you tried.

One day, you had gone out to the local market to pick up some supplies. When you returned to the apartment, you had almost dropped the paper bag of fruit and vegetables when Bucky emerged from the bathroom, clad in only a towel around his waist. Your eyes had involuntarily zeroed in on his chest, tracing the path of the water droplets which ran down the valley of his abdomen, past his hips and teasing at something more.

You could remember every defined plane of his naked, muscular torso, the scars decorating his skin, his blue eyes widening in shock at the sight of you.

He had blushed violently, mumbled something about forgetting his clothes in his room, and practically bolted in there.

It didn't matter how much you tried.

One night, you had a particularly horrific nightmare which caused you to wake up in the middle of the night screaming. You woke with sweat covering your face, your hands clenching the sheets.

Bucky ran into your room, wrenching the door open with such force that the handle was crushed in his fist. He found you curled up in a whimpering ball on your bed. That night, he had held your hand and comforted you, sleeping next to you on top of the covers.

It didn't matter how much you tried.

The day you had finally entered the enemy base. You had made your way down the maze of corridors together, but found Bucky practically shoving you inside a tiny store cupboard which definitely should not be accommodating two people, his hand on your mouth to mask any sound as the two armed men marched unexpectedly down the hallway.

You could still remember the feeling of Bucky pressed up against you, his eyes flickering between yours as you tried to stay as still as possible. His scent overwhelmed your nose, made you want to close your eyes and bask in it.

He had been slightly off that same evening, going to bed early before resuming his normal behaviors the next day.

You didn't know if you were imagining it, but something seemed to be changing.

It didn't matter how much you tried. You were definitely still in love with him.

One evening, Bucky found you sitting upright on your bed, squeezing your knee with one hand, a grimace on your face. He was walking past your open doorway and did a double take, his hand curling around the door frame as he peered in.

“My knee,” you explained. “Injury seems to be flaring up.”

Bucky tsked and disappeared momentarily, before he returned with an ice pack. He sat down on the edge of your bed, his weight causing the mattress to dip. He reached out for your leg without a moments hesitation. You were only clad in a sleep shirt and shorts, but that didn’t seem to bother him as he lifted your limb onto his lap.

He applied the ice pack against your skin, making you withdraw your leg instinctively. He held his hand around your ankle, firmly holding it in place.

“Better?” he mumbled after a moment.

“Yeah. I think so,” you said quietly.

You looked up, and your eyes met. You turned your face to stare at the wall, suddenly unable to hold the eye contact. In your peripheral, you could see he was still looking at you intensely, the way Sam always made fun of him for.

“What are you staring at?” you asked, forcing a teasing lilt in your voice, his hand suddenly feeling incredibly warm against your skin.

“Nothing,” he said after a long moment. His fingers seemed to tighten around your ankle, so briefly and so quickly that you weren't sure if you had imagined it, before he let go of you.

One month. You had expected to be in Albania for one month, tops, but that turned into almost two. It was nearly mid-March, day after day spent holed in the tiny apartment with Bucky, papers and photos and electronic equipment lying everywhere.

"Remind me why I'm here again?" Bucky asked, a frown on his face as he sat down on the couch. "Intel gathering isn't even my specialty. I thought we would be able to get in on some action, but we've literally just been spying on these guys for weeks."

"We've got some very valuable information already," you reminded him, eyes scanning the mess of documents all around you. "Just a little longer, then we can go home."

Bucky groaned. It was way past midnight, and you heard him open a bottle of whisky and the glug glug glug of a glass being filled. Another clink, another glug glug glug. Two glasses.

"Come," he said loudly, patting the space next to him. "We both need a break."

You sighed, standing up and stretching your limbs.

"Fine. One drink."

You crashed down next to him as your phone buzzed in quick succession. Lifting your phone, you saw the notifications of texts from Steve. Bucky inadvertently saw his name flash on the screen.

“Something going on with you and Steve?” Bucky asked without missing a beat, arching an eyebrow expectantly.

“Something?”

“Yeah, you know. Something."

"I have no idea what you mean," you said coolly, knocking your glass against his before taking a sip of alcohol.

"Can't hide this shit from me," Bucky said, leaning back and slinging his arm across the back of the couch. "He's my best friend. I can tell."

"Tell what, exactly?" you asked.

Bucky took a slug of whiskey. It was like the alcohol was enabling this impromptu heart to heart.

"He seems different around you.” His expression was neutral, but there was something else there which you could quite identify.

“Different how?” You were genuinely confused by Bucky’s words.

He looked off into the distance, a mulling expression on his face.

“He looks at you like he wants to be your personal soldier. Your knight.”

You snorted, the sound fading when you realized Bucky was being serious, his face devoid of humor.

“What? What are you talking about?” you asked, perplexed.

“You’ve seriously never noticed?”

“Steve and I are just friends,” you said firmly.

"Uh-huh. Is that why he messages you every day? And I know not all of it is mission related."

"I don't know. I guess we're close?" you said, becoming flustered. You took another sip of whiskey. “Besides, I…” You trailed off uncertaintly.

Bucky pounced on your falter like a cat.

“What?” he shuffled in his seat, turning towards you with a childish grin.

You bit the inside of your cheek. Either the alcohol was getting to your head already, or you were just feeling particularly brazen.

“I’m kind of into someone else.”

He seemed to stiffen as he observed you silently. The alcohol was making you feel warm and slightly fuzzy as you looked into his steel eyes, marveled at how his pupils appeared to pool and dilate. You held your breath, imagining him asking - "who?"

You.

In that moment, you suddenly imagined telling him how you felt. What a relief it would be. Being just the two of you for so long, it made you imagine sometimes that it was really just the pair of you against the world.

You wished you could be selfish. Wish you could just reach out and take what you wanted, tell him how you yearned for him. The way his handsome face looked now in the dim lights was so unfair, so teasing.

The silence was getting too long. Bucky seemed to lean closer, his body closing the gap between you inch by inch. His head tilted ever so slightly, his gaze moving to your left eye, then your right, before flickering down to your lips.

You wanted to kiss him. His lips looked so soft, and you wanted to know how they felt, how he tasted. Nothing else seemed real in that moment except the two of you.

Bucky moved forward again, his hand sliding along the couch. He swallowed, his Adam’s apple shifting.

You looked at his mouth. His tongue darted out to wet his lips -

The shrill vibration of your phone sliced the air.

He cleared his throat loudly, leaning back and taking a swill of his drink. You blinked, turning away from him and scrabbling for your phone, trying to get the image of his lips out of your mind.

You thought Bucky would acknowledge that moment. You half-expected (and feared) that you would have a confrontational conversation about it. But, that confrontation never came, and you returned to New York after Steve deemed that you’d gained enough information for them to make a move, but wanted to reconvene as a team first.

Bucky didn't bring it up on the way back to New York. He didn't bring it up on the car journey back to the compound. He didn't bring it up when you both walked into the common rooms and he embraced his girlfriend.

He and Natasha seemed to have put any relationship troubles to rest upon your return to the compound, the time apart apparently reigniting a spark of passion. She had been waiting on the landing pad, and they kissed wordlessly the moment they got close enough, the sight making your chest tighten.

You continued playing the role of the regular friend, and never brought up that almost-kiss again.

You were stubborn, in many ways. If he wasn't going to bring it up, then you could pretend it never happened. You were a great actress.

You wondered if you’d simply imagined that moment after all.

You’d missed New York a lot. The second he saw you at the compound after returning from Albania, he'd given Bucky a silent nod before pulling you into a tight embrace that almost lifted you off your feet.

Huh. Maybe Bucky was onto something.

After that, you found yourself spending even more and more time with him. Steve was the perfect gentleman, in many ways. He reminded you of an angel, sometimes, especially when his golden hair glowed in sunlight, the corners of his eyes creasing when he smiled.

He had a cherubic beauty. He was different to Bucky - they were like day and night. Both stunning in their own way, a complete force of nature, but with Steve, you felt like your vision was clearer. There was no second guessing - it seemed that he really did have feelings for you which were more than just friendly.

Bucky watched you and Steve from the other side of the Quinjet as you spoke in low voices, ready to dive into the next assignment. Steve was piloting, you crouched down next to him, his head leaning close towards yours.

Natasha was sat silently a few seats away from Bucky. She got in these moods, sometimes, where she wasn't particularly upset at anything Bucky had done, persay, but just wanted to shut herself off from everything.

Bucky didn't mind. He was twirling a knife between his fingers as he watched you with his best friend, a foreign feeling settling inside his chest.

Was it jealousy? Not of Steve, no. It couldn't be. Maybe he was just jealous of the way you smiled at each other, completely care-free and easy. Not like things were with Natasha - he couldn't remember the last time that he had shared an innocent moment like that with his girlfriend.

When he'd first returned from Albania, things had seemed good with her. But sometimes it felt shallow - like everything was just superficial without real grit or weighting to their emotions.

He was beginning to question a lot of the things he shared with Natasha. It felt like recently, a lot of the positive aspects of their relationship had simply run their course. Now, the time they spent together was either in silence, in arguments, or in semi-rage fueled sex.

Seeing you smile at Steve made him suddenly wish for something purer. Simpler.

His eyes traced the angles of your nose, the slender slope of your neck as you gazed up, the corners of your lips as you smiled.

He closed his eyes. He would have to stop thinking about you too much.

When you were fighting, you couldn't focus on anything else besides getting rid of the threat and protecting your team mates.

A blade flew past your face, barely avoiding glancing your skin before it was swiftly caught by Bucky, who launched it into the neck of the tall, bulky man who had been advancing towards you. He had been swinging a bat wrapped in barbed wire, an ugly smile on his face.

"That's a very creative weapon," you grunted, wrenching the bat from the man's hold as he crumbled to the ground from Bucky’s attack. You swung it into the face of a snarling, blonde haired woman who was coming for Natasha.

The sounds of fighting echoed loudly in the empty warehouse, cries of pain and screams sounding every few seconds as you fought off the increasing number of enemies who appeared in every direction.

You and Natasha stood almost back to back as you both aimed guns with expert precision into the rafters above you, your eyes spotting hidden snipers and firing before they could get you.

In moments like these, amidst the chaos, anything could go awry. You heard rather than saw the clatter of a grenade, your eyes widening in shock the second you registered what it was. You opened your mouth to warn Natasha, feeling a large wall of muscle crash into you and roll you away before you could even speak.

You were practically thrown off your feet, back thudding onto the ground like a doll. The explosion sounded in the distance - you realized that Sam had managed to intercept and toss the grenade into the air in those six seconds before it detonated, taking out a section of the warehouse wall, dust and debris raining onto you.

"You alright?" Bucky asked huskily, pulling you onto your feet.

You didn't have time to respond before he was turning away and diving into the fight again, Steve suddenly appearing by your side and tilting your chin to look at him.

"All good?"

"All good," you said affirmatively, watching as he gave you a grim smile before he too rejoined the battle.

Bucky's heart was roaring in his chest as he threw himself at yet another nameless man, driving his fist into his face to incapacitate him. The sudden realization was almost painful that in the appearance of a grenade, his first instinct had been to run towards you.

You found yourself shopping with Natasha one afternoon. In the life of an Avenger, getting the chance to do these mundane, every day things was exceptionally fun.

You were picking out decorations for Steve's birthday party. He had insisted that he didn't want one, but the team had ignored him, obviously. When there was so much doom and gloom, it was nice to have an excuse to just be normal and celebrate something.

"So, you and Steve, huh?" Natasha said suddenly as you both walked down the grocery store aisles.

You groaned internally. In recent weeks, it seemed like everyone had suddenly decided something was going on between the two of you.

"Not you too, Nat," you said, pretending to glower at her.

"I'm just saying," she smirked. "His crush on you is getting pretty obvious. You have to see it, too"

You shrugged, biting down on your lip.

"I don't know. Maybe?"

When it came to discussing Steve, the thought of Bucky also inevitably flitted across your mind. Okay, admittedly, you also had a crush on Steve - how could you not?

But your feelings for Bucky always overshadowed it. However, you hadn't seen a lot of him lately, and the drastic decrease in interactions between the two of you coupled with the many what if scenarios planted into your head by others regarding yourself and Steve, was starting to make you think.

It made you consider him, for sure. Steve was a good man. Not that you wanted to use him to make you get over your feelings for Bucky, but maybe it wouldn't be the worst idea to explore that avenue and see where it took you.

"I think you should make a move," Natasha said. "Life is too short."

You pursed your lips, entertaining the idea. Maybe she was right.

Bucky would never be yours. He would never return your feelings, and it was time you accepted it.

You didn't have to make the first move, after all.

The party was a small, private affair, the rooms in the compound decked out in patriotic decorations, music playing and giving the team a chance to actually wind down.

Towards the end of the night, you ended up sitting at the bar with Steve, the others outside watching the fireworks that had been set off by Tony.

"Can I try something?" Steve asked quietly out of the blue, his clear eyes flitting between yours. He raised his hands hesitantly, waiting for you to give him the green-light. They ghosted around your face, aching to touch you.

You thought of a dark haired super soldier, how he unknowingly pained your heart. All the fantasies you had of him which would never materialize.

"You can kiss me, Steve," you whispered.

That was all the encouragement he needed as he leaned closer and slotted his lips against yours. It was an unfamiliar, but not an unpleasant, sensation.

It was a gentleman's kiss. Short but sweet. He pulled away, his hands having found their way in your hair, and he seemed breathless.

"Woah. Am I interrupting something?"

You both jumped apart, Sam walking in with raised eyebrows and a Cheshire Cat grin.

"Is everyone around here getting laid except me?" Sam chuckled.

Bucky walked in next, his observant gaze taking in the scene in front of him. He had heard Sam's comment, seen your slightly tousled hair, took in Steve's slightly sheepish expression.

He didn't say a word.

You and Steve began...could you call it dating? You didn't exactly go out on dates - you were both too busy doing Avenger shit.

But nowadays, you spent almost all your spare time with him. He would hold your hand and steal kisses in private, away from prying eyes. You found yourself cultivating a growing affection for him, beginning to truly look forward to seeing him every day.

It was conflicting, when the object of your most raw affections was still there.

You didn't know if you were a bad person. Was it terrible, that you were letting yourself get involved with Steve when your heart's deepest desires all revolved around Bucky?

You were never going to act upon them, you rationalized. And having residual love for Bucky didn't mean you didn’t deserve some happiness with another man, right?

You wondered just how residual your love was when Bucky still managed to make you feel defenceless and totally at his mercy.

Once it became clear that you and Steve were no longer just friends, it seemed to shift the dynamic between yourself and Bucky even more. You spent less and less time together, and it didn't help that his mood was always perpetually affected by his rocky relationship with Natasha.

You had found him storming through the compound one day after he had no doubt had an argument with her. You had seen the rage coming off him in waves and stopped him without hesitating, asking him if everything was okay.

"Mind your own business," he had said curtly, the rudeness in his voice making your mouth fall open.

"Excuse me?" you spluttered, genuinely taken aback at the venom in his tone.

"Was I not clear? I said - mind your own business," he said, glowering at you in a manner that made you flinch. He continued on his way without a second look back at you, the animosity bringing frustrated tears to your eyes.

He had never spoken to you that way before. His apology came in the form of a small box of chocolates the next day, but after that incident, you told yourself you would not ask about his love life again.

Bucky was drinking by himself when you found him in the middle of the night, listening to music playing from a vintage record player. How old school.

"You gonna join me for a drink?" he asked, but you shook your head with a smile.

"I'm okay. I couldn't sleep," you said to explain your sudden appearance.

Bucky imagined you sleeping in your bed next to Steve. Except Steve was away from the compound for the rest of the week, so he knew you were alone. Maybe that was why you were so restless, he thought bitterly.

How nice it must be to rest next to someone you really loved. Unbeknownst to you, he and Natasha had been sleeping separately for weeks.

He wanted what you and Steve had.

(Or maybe he just wanted you?)

The music playing was unfamiliar to you, and Bucky said it was one of his favorites from back in the day. He suddenly grabbed your hand, and you could tell he had been drinking for some time, the smell of alcohol heavy on his tongue.

"Dance with me?"

You didn't have time to say anything before he was swaying you back and forth without rhythm, making you laugh out loud at the hilarity of it.

"I thought you were supposed to be a good dancer?" you teased. You had been walking on eggshells around Bucky for the longest time, but in this moment, it felt like old days.

"I am," he murmured. He suddenly adjusted his stance, his hand moving to your back, the other grabbing yours as he began properly leading you into a dance. Your fingers were interlaced when he pulled you close, and you began moving in tandem in a spontaneous waltz.

The music was soothing, and his body was warm. You felt comfortable and safe with him, feeling all the tension leave you.

He looked so unbearably handsome. You realized that you were staring at each other, unblinking.

This was strange. And yet you couldn't drag your gaze away from him as he tilted his head forward, resting his forehead on yours. Your breath hitched. His eyes closed with a flutter.

"I'm tired," he said quietly. "Let's just stay like this for a while."

Tony threw a small party - well, small by his standards. In his own words, everyone needed a night to "chill out and drink a lot of booze". You were chatting with Sam when you noticed Natasha and Bucky arrive at the party. Separately, pointedly avoiding each other.

Sam followed your inquisitive gaze and sucked in a breath.

“Trouble in paradise,” he said. It wasn’t a question - more like a statement, as if he was privy to something you didn’t know.

“Hm?”

Sam took a sip of his drink.

“Never mind. Don’t want no vibranium arm up my ass for running my mouth.”

“Now that would be some party trick,” you said, though you were now furtively watching Natasha and Bucky from over the rim of your drink.

They were definitely avoiding each other. They could not be stood farther apart, on opposite sides of the room. Bucky’s face looked slightly sullen whereas Natasha looked composed and cool.

Steve wrapped an arm around you, placing a kiss on the top of your head. Things had started off quite slow and light at first, but you were increasingly conscious of the fact that things seemed to be getting more intense between the two of you. He hadn't quite asked you to be his girlfriend, but you were starting to wonder if there was a silent understanding that you were.

You weren't good at this relationship stuff. And, frustratingly, you found yourself wondering more about the state of Bucky and Natasha's relationship than yours.

Your worries multiplied when he got so drunk by the end of the night that you offered to accompany him back to his room, Bucky's arm slung around your shoulders as you tried to support his weight.

"I know you can walk, Buck," you grunted as you made your way towards his bedroom. “Use your legs. You’re killing me here.”

He sighed loudly, patting your back. He seemed to sober up when you both stopped outside his room, and you stared him down with a serious look on your face.

"Are you okay? No bullshit.”

His eyes were glazed over when he looked at you. He had always found you to be beautiful. No wonder Steve fell for you, he thought.

"We broke up," he said quietly.

His words weren’t entirely a shock to you.

"Are you okay?" you asked gently.

Your voice was so kind. When he looked at you now, he really felt like he had somehow missed a chance to discover something great. You had been there all along. Why didn’t he see it?

Maybe he always knew. Even back in Albania, there had been a moment where he thought he would kiss you. The memory scared him. He hadn’t quite realized there was something in his heart that was more than just friendly until that night.

“No,” he said, but not for the reasons you thought. He hesitated. “Will you stay with me?”

Your breath caught in your throat.

Stupid, Bucky scolded himself. He knew how you would interpret that - and somehow you wouldn't be wrong. God, no - what was he thinking? This wasn't him.

“Never mind. Sorry. That was dumb,” he said hoarsely. Guilt wracked his body - for you, for Steve. His best friend. “Goodnight.”

You didn't say anything for a second, but finally the words found their way out.

"Goodnight. I'll be here if you want to talk," you said as he pushed open his door.

Bucky surveyed you with a look that may have contained disappointment. You weren't sure, and you suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to stay, and yet you forced yourself to take a step back, away from him.

The door closed with a click.

The universe was playing a sick joke.

When Bucky first met Natasha, he thought he had found his life-partner. As time went on, he realized that it just wasn't meant to be.

Had he always loved you? No, maybe not at first. He had considered you almost like a little sister in the beginning, someone to take care of, someone to joke with, someone he cared a lot about.

Maybe he always told himself the love that brewed was just like the love one had for their family.

It was confusing and he was laden with guilt, the first time he found himself wondering what it would feel like to kiss you. He was still with Natasha, and he felt so awful when those thoughts breached his mind. Like he was betraying her.

When you got together with Steve, it was almost a relief. He thought that seeing you with his best friend would dampen down any flame that existed within him, any longing that he had for you.

He was wrong. Seeing you so happy with Steve made him jealous, but it wasn't because he wanted that happiness for himself and Natasha. No - it was because he just wanted you.

God, how he hated himself. Steve was his best friend, his most loyal friend, and he was lusting after you. The disappointment and hatred for himself manifested into a coldness towards you, eventually.

He found that the only way he would be able to get through this was to keep you at arms length. There was no way he was going to be able to see the relationship between you and Steve blossom without doing something he would regret.

He hated himself for the way he was treating you. He knew you could sense it, too, his hostility towards you reaching a crescendo one autumn afternoon when he found himself shouting at you aboard the empty Quinjet after the rest of the team had disembarked.

"You could have gotten the team injured," Bucky spat through gritted teeth as you stared at him in bewilderment.

"Are you kidding me? I knew what I was doing."

"Did you? Steve had to come and save -"

"He didn't have to save me," you sniped back, pre empting his words. "I had it under control."

"You were a liability," Bucky snarled. The moment he said it, he wanted to take it back, but he just couldn't. He was pissed off - not at anything you did, but at the way his heart was pounding uncontrollably at the mere sight of you. How did you render him so weak?

Your mouth opened and closed silently, and Bucky could identify the exact moment your eyes stung with tears, but he chose to say nothing. He stood to the spot like a cowardly statue as you stood stiffly and stalked off the jet.

Bucky was fighting a losing battle to keep his emotions at bay. With feelings so intense, he knew they couldn't be contained in a vessel. They were bound to explode.

There was a storm that night.

Bucky had sustained a deep knife wound to the side of his chest whilst out on the field. You walked into the medical bay as he was being bandaged up, startled by dark expression on his face. He was in a foul mood, you could tell.

"Is he going to be okay?" you asked.

He had been stabbed because of you. He had been hurt because he had pulled you out of the way of a rogue S.H.I.E.L.D agent just an hour ago, and your lip was bleeding from how you’d been chewing anxiously on it as Bucky was tended to.

"M'fine," he responded before the doctor could, pulling on his blood stained shirt and leather jacket.

"Actually, Sergeant Barnes, you need to - "

He stalked out of the medical bay, past you with such fury that you stared after him in shock before following him.

"What's gotten into you?" you asked.

"Nothing," he said curtly. He was marching so fast that you were struggling to keep up. He walked through the compound, right out of a set of doors and into the field outside, the rain pelting his face. It was ice cold and exactly what he wanted to make him feel nothing, to feel numb.

You were feeling sick of his attitude. For weeks, he had been acting awful to you. Blunt, brushing off your attempts at conversation, avoiding you. The rare times you did get him to speak to you, he was rude and brusque.

It hurt your feelings more than you’d care to admit, but now you were just angry at how he was acting like a petulant child.

"Come back inside!" you shouted over the rain. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Go back inside," he said, the frustration in his voice clear.

It riled you up even more, and you felt instantly indignant as his barking command.

"No, not until you tell me what's going on!"

Bucky continued walking, ignoring you.

“James Buchanan Barnes, you stop right now!” you shouted, your fury evident. That made him stop in his tracks, his back still facing you. Your annoyance finally tipped you over the edge. “You’re acting like an immature bastard! You’ve been an ass to me for weeks - do you want to fucking explain why?”

Bucky whirled around then, cursing and stalking up towards you. He lifted his hands like he wanted to grab you, but he stopped himself from touching you. The expression on his face startled you out of the red mist that clouded your brain - it was a combination of rage and sadness.

"Why are you here?" he exclaimed, looking tortured.

"Why am I here?" you repeated, incredulous. "What are you - "

"You're always here," he spat through clenched jaws. "Always distracting me, always making me think of you. Why?"

Confusion marred your face. He continued, "I hate looking at you and knowing that I can't have you."

"What's going on?" you spluttered. "Are you mad that I got you stabbed?"

"No!" he shouted. "I'm mad that I love you when I want to feel nothing for you."

His words made you seize up, and your lips parted in shock. He was raging now, his whole body shaking as he stared at you.

"Did you have feelings for me?" he pressed, his voice desperate and urgent. "Did you?"

"I - "

"Don't lie," he warned, his face pained.

"Yes," you gasped finally. "I did."

He nodded as if he knew all along.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, his tone accusatory.

"How could I tell you?" you retorted. "Why would I tell you?" You had no idea what he wanted from you, or where this was all coming from. It was so unexpected, to be having this conversation out here with him, today, but he seemed to want to wrangle the truth out of you.

"If you had told me, maybe - maybe I wouldn't be feeling this way." His voice broke, and your heart strained at the seams, guilt filling your chest.

The rain was getting heavier now, pelting the two of you. Your clothes felt so heavy on your skin, acid rising in your throat at Bucky's words. They infuriated you.

“Maybe things would’ve been different!” You were almost screaming over the sound of the rain and thunder. Your hair was sticking to your face, blinding you. “Maybe - maybe if you hadn’t been with Natasha in the first place. Maybe if we didn’t end up in Albania together. Maybe if Steve didn’t tell me his feelings for me.”

“Did you love me?” He was almost screaming too, his voice filled with frustration.

“I won’t answer that,” you said resolutely. “It doesn’t matter. You have no idea how I’ve been feeling, Bucky.” You wanted to grip the collar of his jacket, shake some sense into him. “I’ve felt like I’ve been in the shadows for so long, pining for you. Sitting on the bench, waiting for you to pick me.”

“I was with someone else -”

“And that’s fine!” you exclaimed honestly. “That’s fine, Bucky. I never wanted to break you up. But I just think - if it’s meant to be, I wouldn’t have had to wait for so long. No one wants to feel like the second choice.”

“It was never like that. You know that.”

“I know,” you said weakly. “I know all these things, and I know it’s just a way of life, relationships come and go and your relationship with Natasha doesn’t dilute the feelings you have for me now.” The words fell out in a rush, almost nonsensical. “But it was always so hard, Bucky. Feeling all this love for you and getting nothing in return. With Steve, it’s different. It’s easy.”

“So you gonna take the easy way out?” he snarled.

"Nothing about this has been easy!" you said angrily. "You have no right to take a knife for me, scream at me then tell me that you love me!"

The rain was rolling off his skin, his eyelashes thick as he narrowed his eyes at you. He wanted to kiss you so badly, to dismiss everything and ignore every possible consequence and just kiss you.

Instead, he took in the helplessness in your expression. Reminded himself of who his best friend was.

“Do you love him?” he asked softly. It wasn’t a rhetorical question - he genuinely needed to know, to hear the truth from your lips. It was conflicting - Steve was his brother, but at the same time, he was the man who had your heart whilst Bucky ached to capture it in his fingers, too. Every cell in his body told him he needed to be valiant and fight for you. But he knew that fighting for you wouldn’t be brave, it wouldn’t be courageous - it would only cause pain to those he loved.

“Yes,” you answered truthfully.

“Do you still love me?”

The question alarmed you. Bucky had always trod the boundary between you carefully, particularly since you and Steve had become a couple. You thought he would never do anything to disrespect that. You knew that if he had to ask, then he truly was a desperate man.

How could you ever tell him how you felt? How could you tell Bucky that sometimes, when you were with Steve, you thought about him? That the guilt was eating away at you, keeping you up at night? How could you describe how sick it made you feel when you looked into Steve’s eyes and felt a sweet affection for him, but which was just a fraction of the burning love you held for Bucky?

“That’s unfair,” you said, voice quivering. “You can’t ask that. Steve is your best friend.”

“And you’re my…” His voice began as a forceful protest before trailing off.

“Your what, Bucky?” you asked incredulously, eyes widening. “How does that sentence end?”

Bucky winced.

“I’m not your friend,” you said carefully. At this point, after all those questionable moments shared throughout the year, you were no longer just a friend, not really. “I’m not your lover. And this is why we can’t be having this conversation.”

“You’re my person,” Bucky said, his voice cracking. “I would never take you from Steve. I know that. But I just have to let you know.” Tears were gathering in his eyes, making your chest hurt.

You smiled a watery smile.

"I know."

You were two ships that passed in the night. Two people who could have had a beautiful story, but neither of you had time to open that chapter. The timing was never quite right, after all.

"I love you," he said finally. He seemed to sag as the words left his body, like they were a weight he had been carrying for a long time.

Those three words were ones which you had wanted to hear from him for so long. But now, hearing them hang in the air, they only made your pain worsen.

"It'll pass," you said finally. "One day, you will find someone that is the right person, right time."

You never thought you would find yourself in this position. That the man you loved so dearly would tell you he felt the same, and you would have to do everything in your power to stop yourself from running into his embrace.

You had to do the responsible thing. You couldn't hurt Steve.

“What do we do now?” Bucky asked. He needed your guidance. He felt like every fiber in his body was burning.

You were silent for the longest time. You realized you were holding your breath, because you were afraid that you would spontaneously burst into tears if you moved a single muscle.

“You and I...will not mention this again. We won’t think about what could have been, because we can’t.” Your voice broke on the final word despite your attempts to compose yourself.

Did you love Steve? The answer was yes. You did love him, honestly.

Did you love Bucky?

With your entire existence.

You didn't know if you could genuinely love two people at once. And, deep down, you knew that your feelings for Bucky would forever be ingrained in your heart - it was burned into you. But Steve was the one who stood by your side, who picked you without hesitation - you could not and would not hurt him. He was too good to you to deserve that.

Even if it meant letting go of the love that never was.

Bucky nodded once. He looked at your beautiful face, at the devastation in your eyes, but also the determination in your stance.

“Okay,” he said, a half-smile on his face. “I'm sorry."

For you, he would try. For Steve, he would try. If he had to make peace with the fact that he had lost out on something beautiful, he would try. Because he knew it was unfair - he had been late to the game, ignored the niggling feeling in his mind that you perhaps felt something special for him, told himself that you just viewed him as a friend.

For you, he would try not to love you anymore.

Destined to meet, but not destined to be together. Sometimes, people are meant to stay in your heart, but not in your life.

A/N: I don't expect many people to like this fic, but I wanted to write this one just for me, I guess? I have been in a very angsty mood recently and wanted to write a fic about love that doesn't have a happy ending, to reflect the reality that sometimes, you can love someone with your whole soul, but it just doesn't work out. I don't know if reader or Bucky made the 'correct' decisions here - that interpretation is up to you.

[elvesandlanterns]

Helpline part 2 “Why the hell is a child here?” Hall yelled! Constantine rolled his eyes, “Age is relative … tho even by demon standards I assume you’re rather young eh Sheila ?”

The demon pouted, “My name isn’t Sheila, I told you call me Konstelacio!”

“Right my apologies.”

Damian sneered,”Idiot.” Only to have Dick elbow him,”Don’t.”

“Now then! What do you need?” The girl crossed her arms and slowly paced by the edge of the circle.

“Wait wait hold up! What is the Infinite Realms?”

Demon girl kept on examining the circle, “Exactly what it sounds like.”

“What are you?”

“Rude”

“How old are you?”

“Depends”

“I thought this spell was supposed to be random?”

Dick groaned, “Wally-“ Zatanna put her hand up, “Hold on that actually is an important question. Why did you show up?”

The demons face contorted. “Uh because it’s my job?” Her hands coming up to her chest.

“How do you get a job like this Konstelacio ? This doesn’t exactly seem like a safe job for a kid?” Superman pondered.

She shrugged, “Eh, community service.”

The heroes gapped. Hal’s ring shone, “And what exactly does a demon have to do to be sentenced with community service?”

“None of your business!!!” The girl grew flustered shoulders tensing.

“Was it a violent crime?” Batman questioned

“That’s it I’m leaving!” She stepped closer to the middle of the circle “You humans are so rude!!!”

“Wait wait,” Constantine pleaded “I apologize on behalf of my colleagues. They have simply never met anyone as…” weird, different, odd “magnificent as you o great one!”

She hummed, “Oh no! The Great One is my uncle!!!”

Uncle? What did that even mean?!?! John was gonna have a heart attack at this rate.

“Yes well please don’t leave we truly do need your assistance!”

Batman cleared his throat, “We were trying to reach someone to help us with several world ending threats that have appeared.”

“Yes, you said that you were uh a helpline? Could you connect us with someone else?” Superman spoke in a kind tone.

“Well duh” the girl relaxed, “You need to actually talk about the issue tho and what exactly it is you’re looking for these things can be tricky.”

“Tell me about it. ….ow”

Batman continued, “ There seems to be some sort of disease spreading everywhere as well as a monster running rampant.”

“If it’s a magical monster why not have your magic users take care of it?”

“Captain Marvel and Dr Fate are both currently of world. We also think the disease may also be magic in nature.” Superman butted in.

The demons eyes lit up at the mention of the Captain only to turn to stone right after. Interesting thought Damian this might be useful information.

“ Alright then I’ll need as much info on these issues as I can! Tho I already do have a few ideas on who to contact about it!”

“This is the monster,” Aquaman pulled up photos of a blue glowing dragon in a gold amulet on screen. “It first appeared in Atlantis wreaking havoc in it wake as it took over the mainland along the coast of California. Our magicians were in able to harm it at all! One second it was there the next gone.”

“Uuughgghhhh Aragon!”

Necks almost broke looking back at her.

“Oh great you two know each other,” Constantine’s voice began to rise in pitch, “lovely.”

“What is he? My magic barely did anything to him too!” Zatanna asked

“Yeah,” Wally backed her up, “We couldn’t do anything against that thing!”

“He’s not a thing! He is a ghost his name is Arragon!”

Flash paled, “A ghost?? That thing couldn’t be a ghost !”

“That’s it I’m leaving! You are being rude again!”

John ran towards the circle, “Wait wait hold on now..”

“You are all being so rude! We are people! We have sentience Aragon is a person!” Red hot anger flushed her cheeks as her eyes wavered.

Flash went up to the circle, “You’re right you’re right it’s my fault entirely I’m sorry! Konstelacio!” Barry felt awful the young girl reminded him of Wally before the adoption. Sad and joking. Sad and demanding to be seen for what they are.

“Yeah whatever,” she looked away, “what about the illness ?”

“It started around the same time as the mons- as Aragon arrived. The illness seems to be random causing deterioration of the skin and violent outbursts,” Batman threw the file over the ring of the circle, “Here’s more info.”

“Hhhmm I’m going to be honest I don’t understand half of this stuff. You said it might be magic based?”

WonderWoman nodded, “ Yes I use to hear tales of something similar back on Themyscira. Supposedly it is one of the illnesses Pandora released from her box.”

“Well why didn’t you start with that ? I’m sure NanaDora will be happy to help!”

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

god i had more depressing rei thoughts.

so we know the second rei idolised gendo? and the third rei pretty clearly hated him? (which like. good on you girl he’s an abuser)

rei is a victim of grooming, both in a non sexual manner in her relation to her roles in gendo's plans, and she’s also heavily implied to have been also sexually groomed by him too. (i'll have to rewatch the series to write my whole analysis on rei as a sexual abuse victim, but if you want the summary as to why i believe this, it’s a mix of her lack of reaction to shinji accidentally sexually assaulting her, her general self objectification disassociation issues general lack of hygeine ect being all characteristics that are specifically common with victims of csa, and finally, like, that one scene in end of evangelion is framed like a rape scene for a reason like that’s a very obvious and direct metaphor)

each sentient rei clone (as in, the three we see in the series, not the soulless hundreds we see in the lcl tank) shares a soul. they’re the same person, even if they don’t have specific memories. so why the sudden shift? i mean, well, the obvious one is that she did kinda spend the last 23 episodes learning that her abuse wasn’t normal and fine. like. that was a whole thing. rei clearly has some vague recollection of things, since she has a sense of familiarity around gendo's glasses, even if she lacks the emotional response the second rei had, so she presumably at least has some idea that her abuse isn’t normal still.

but also like… the first rei was literally a toddler. of course she trusted her adoptive father, enough to repeat the inappropriate words he said to someone else bc she thought it was normal. (and i have Thoughts on that too, but again i am going to make a whole post on that eventually). the second rei was so isolated from the world she didn’t know how to express emotions at all. but the third rei was basically immediately just thrust straight into life without any time for her to be groomed into trusting gendo. she knows him, and has vague recollections of him, but she lacks the emotional bond she was manipulated into the other times. she’s looking at her abuser from an objective lens, and she’s able to see him for what he is.

idk just. thought that was both an interesting thought and sad as shit. rei ayanami suffered more than jesus.

[posebean]

more rinkittys from the brilliant minds of bean and sana at ungodly hours

mostly kitty lore

more on rinkitty au

if formatted weirdly its because we literally played rinky tennis and popcorned everything in discord @sanaimissyou ily

NIKU KITTEN LORE

niku was at the cat cafe/adoption place because she was found with parents nowhere to be found hungry and small very very small (kinda like someone we know-) and so she knows what being alone is like and one day when she sees two people sit in and everyone else swarms one of the guys while the other is just. all alone and she doesn't like leaving people alone and for some reason she feels the need to go up to him so she breaks from the crowd and goes over on her little kitten paws and mewls , rubs her head against his knee "hi i'll be your friend" and when rinne sees her he cries

When Niki makes him leave her he tells her “I’ll come back for you” and she believes him and he visits her every now and then so she doesn’t forget him but she doesn’t really register what’s happening every time since she’s so small

Cat melodrama

It’s like 3 AM and there’s meowing in the living room and they think it’s just Niku with the zoomies but no she’s talking to a whole other cat

whole other cat is an alley cat that just passed by one day and saw her and Instantly fell in love and keeps trying to talk with her but Niku is having None of it

He keeps coming by and she eventually just warms up to him because he is. Kind of cute and very charming

the rizz is working

She saves some of her food for him sometimes ‘cause she learned to share food from her dad (Niki) 

niki: niku why arent you finishing your food 

niku: pacing around in front of the window, looking for other cat

Other cat comes by sometimes during the day when Rinne and Niki are out and other cat (she just calls him Nya-kun now ‘cause he doesn’t really have a name) offers to take her on a little city adventure since she doesn’t go out besides a small neighborhood area when Rinne and niki take her on walks

he takes her to his favorite spots and shows her so many things she has never seen and each place they stop at she falls a little more in love (nya-kun is already so in love he cant fall even more hes at full love)

He drops her off at home and she’s just so happy and purring and everything and good kitty things and Rinne and Niki have no idea why she’s like this but they can’t really complain

he comes by again and takes her out and it goes well at first but then they get into a fight with some other alley cats that does not go well; niku is okay and a little shaken but nya-kun is hurt and bleeding

She brings him back to the apartment and kinda tears some things and drawers apart looking for the first aid kit that she’s seen Rinne and Niki use and she’s trying her best to patch him up but Nya-kun’s sitting there thinking and kinda regretting everything ‘cause she got put in danger

nya~kun: i love her. I Love her. But I'm just an alley cat. she has a loving home, she doesn't belong out there. not on the streets. not with me. she's beautiful and everything ive ever dreamed of but i have to let her go. 

niku panicking while trying to patch him up : nya-kun please stay my dads will help i dont know what to do but theyll know ! where are you going? theyll help you, i know they will!

Nya-kun says this isn’t gonna work out for them because she’s just not a street cat, it’s not safe for her out there and she should stay here, where she has a loving home and people who love her, and he thanks her for spending time with him and putting up with him and he leaves And Rinne and Niki come home like “Niku what the fuck happened you’ve never done this” ‘cause everything’s still a mess and she’s just sitting there 

for the next few days she's so, so, sad at first she thinks he'll come by but he doesn't and doesn't the next day and doesn't the day after that or after that or after that but she still waits by the window with her food unfinished waiting for him and rinne and niki notice and are so worried because their baby is hurting and they have no idea why

In all her alone time she realizes that she had no say in his decision to leave her alone, and that it isn’t fair ‘cause he made the decision for her when she didn’t want it in the first place so she makes her own choice to go look for him A là “It’s my life I get to choose” Niki-style

so one day when she gets the confidence and niki and rinne are out at work she nudges the window open and jumps out and runs to every place she can remember him taking her , his fav spot by the pachinko, his fav place to take shelter in, etc, until she finds herself back in the same alley and face to face with the alley cats that had attacked them before. the alley cats recognize her and seeing that her companion isnt with her move to attack her for revenge because though he got hurt, he left a. number on them

Nya-kun jumps in at the last second and fights them off and he’s like “What are you doing here? You shouldn’t be here you don’t belong here!” (This is all in meows by the way) And Niku’s like “Even if I don’t belong here, you belong with me!” She can’t stand the thought of him fighting for his life while she’s just living comfy so she finally begs him to come home with her ‘cause

 “Dad and dad will love you!!” 

“How do you know that!?”

 “Because I love you!!”

he's so absolutely speechless and starts sobbing (in meowspeak) and is like i love you but im just a street cat, and niku is like if you love me you will come home with me please and nya-kun FINALLY finally breaks down and moves forward slightly closes his eyes touches his nose to her's and gives out a breathless "okay"(meow) and she takes him home and they slip in through the window and sit in the living room cuddled up together waiting for her dads to come home

Anyways yeah that’s how they got the second cat (Rinne and Niki have no idea any of this happened btw [time period unspecified]) and Nya-kun is now called Rinnya-kun but Niku still calls him Nya-kun

and theyre still in love

another thing about niku being so tiny when she was at the cafe is that she doesn’t remember the one other friend she had at the cat cafe that was a tiny orange cat who ran away

that tiny cat was her only friend but he hated being in the cafe and ran away and she barely remembers anything but only knows she felt comfortable in that short time and for some reason the tall red haired guy reminded her of that cat

when the entire B plot ends up being more emotionally charged than the main plot

This entire thing is literally just Rinnya meeting his in-laws

and falling in love with he kitty wife

All cat dialogue is just meows with subtitles

“How do you know that!?” “Because I love you!!” 

"Meow meow meow meow meoww?!" "Miaou miao mewl MIAOUW"

Imagine being someone walking by on the street like “what the hell is goin on over there”

Also Rinne and Niki have no idea ANY of this happened

MISC 

Rinnya has a scar from that first fight since he left and didn’t let it heal properly and whenever Niki’s petting him he’s like “man where’d you get this scar from buddy”

niku takes time to lick it gently everytime they r cuddling. to show that she is thankful 4 him everyday and loves him so much

Licks are the kitty equivalent of kisses (which Rinne is. Still constantly shaming him for) but nose touches are way more personal for them

man literally went thru hell for her he deserves to be a slut (saved her life)

Rinnya: What the hell is a marriage is why is there no kissing before it, what is a “wife” Niku: I dunno, but dad calls dad his wife so I guess that means someone you just really really love a lot 

Rinnya: I suppose you’re my wife then

niku: i guess i am~

niki: rinne-kun why are you slutshaming the cat again

rinne: u dont understand niki they are breaking the sanctity of marriage

niki: rinne-kun. they're cats. they dont understand the concept of marriage 

rinne: 

niki:. rinne-kun. they literally have CHILDREN 

rinne: 

niki: (sighs) will it make you happier if we throw them a mini ceremony? ill call kazehaya-kun 

rinne: NO they are not marrying before us 

Niki:

 niki: but then they'll be still doing that thing you dont like 

rinne: 

rinne: niki never said no to us eventually marrying :) 

niki: 

niki: why do i love a man so stupid

Niki: Hey did you give Niku too many treats again, he looks like he’s getting rounder Rinnya: ……does dad not know you’re a girl

Rinne: ……OH uhhhhh Niki I forgot to tell you something—

rinnya: oh god i knew he was stupid (rinne) i didnt think it could get worse

they meet 14/17 (cat years)

11 months and 1 year and 3 months respectively

all the big stuff happens (when rinnya finally comes to live with her) 18/21 (cat years)

1 year and 4 months and 1 year and 8 months respectively

5 human month slowburn / 4 cat years slowburn

It takes place from the tail end of spring throughout the summer

8/03 when he finally lives with them

Rinnya is petty enough to call Niki dad and Rinne just Rinne

When they get married it’s “dad and his husband”

CW ANIMAL DEATH

the first time rinnya calls rinne dad is the last meow he says, a small "thanks dad"

Niku’s last little meows

To niki: stay happy with Dad, Dad

To Rinne: It’ll be okay, Dad

To Rinnya: I love you.

sad kitties cuz i like being in pain i guess

[changingplumbob]

Woods Household: Chapter 2, Part 12

The weirdest things happen at the community centres

CW: Low level sim spice. Content Warning Guide

With Reece in class Samir heads to the rec centre to meet up with his adopted brother Kawikani. Kawikani is feeling a bit neglected lately as their mum has gotten married and has less time to spend on them. Samir has invited him to work out as that’s the only thing he can think of doing where he won’t have to talk much.

Following class Reece has booked the gym to host a guided meditation but something tells him to go to the bathrooms first. From a side room it’s clear that someone is crying in the closet.

Reece: Uh… hello?

?: *sobbing* Go away

Reece: Do you need help

?: *sobbing* You can’t help me

Reece: How do you know if you won’t let me try

?: *sniffling* No one cares about me

Reece: I’m sure that’s not true

Reece: Just come out and we can talk about it

?: *sniffling* fine

Reece waits patiently and from the closet emerges everyone’s favourite neighbourhood aromantic, Joey.

Reece: Joey? That was you? What were you crying about?

Joey: The watcher doesn’t love me anymore

Reece: But Deanna always says you love the watcher

Joey: Of course I do, but she doesn’t love me

Reece: That’s why you’re sad?

Joey: No it’s not

Joey: *huffs* I’m sad because she put the Hopes and Fears mod back. Do you know what that does? It made everyone feel utterly unfulfilled and depressed because this save has been running for so long that all the background sims have low fulfillment from not being played and able to complete their whims. You’re active at the moment so she’s cleared it for you

Reece nods as if he understands but he has no idea what Joey is on about.

Joey: But she forgot she has meaningful stories! So she sees me spawn and clears fulfillment but I still have lingering sadness! It’s not fair! If she loved me she would yeet that mod out of the folder

Reece: Joey, let’s just take a step back and breathe

Reece: We both believe the watcher exists, to varying degrees, but don’t you think that if they're out there they will look after you in the long run

Joey: You’re right. Now that she’s seen me suffer she’ll delete it, I’m one tier below Devin after all

Reece: *still confused* right… Hey, I’m doing a meditation class, why don’t you come join and chill out huh

Joey: You’re right bro, you’re right. No chick will bang me if I cry all the time

Reece and Joey head towards the gym. Samir ropes Kawikani into the meditation and looks like Calista and Luna are here to!

Back home Samir cleans out the fridge and accidentally breaks the sink.

Samir: Fudge it!

Reece: You good?

Samir: Darn strength got the best of me

Reece: You’re a werewolf, it happens

Samir: No, it can’t happen. I need to know what my strength is doing

Reece: Are you worried about hurting me

Samir: I’m always worried about hurting you, that’s why I plan. Unexpected strength surges are hard to fit in to plans

Reece: Well if you really don’t want to hurt me…

Samir: What is it?

Reece: It’s the season premiere of Harrow Hospital tonight… if we got a TV we could watch it

Samir: You want a TV?

Reece: Not a big one but I am a geek and geeks like screens

Reece: And if you were serious about having my friends over-

Samir: I was

Reece: Then what better activity than a TV premiere?

Samir: Okay I hear you, what kind of tv do you want

Reece: Something that matches the vibe of the house. I’ve got to run to class, bye! Love you

He sprints out the door before Samir can tell him he has no idea about electronics. Luckily, someone else does. He calls up Deanna who is happy to help advise, even if she can’t believe they don’t need the fanciest model.

When he gets back Reece is delighted to see the TV perched in the corner of the lounge.

Reece: You got it for me!

Samir: Of course I did. What you want, you get. You ran out the door before I could say I love you to

Reece: You big softie

Samir: For you? *whispers* I’ll always be hard

Reece: *blushes* We better get some dinner ready, they’ll be here soon

Deanna arrives and excitedly tells Tamika and Noe that despite appearances this tv model can get all the network channels and has wifi for direct streaming of Harrow Hospital.

Samir hasn’t seen the previous seasons so Reece gives him character recaps for everyone that appears on screen.

Noe: Why invite us to watch if you’re going to talk the entire time

Reece: I just want Samir to be able to enjoy it

Tamika: Don’t worry, data wise Dr Hot should be taking his shirt off in the next two and a half minutes

Samir: Boring, I prefer blondes

Noe: *whispers to Deanna* He doesn’t mean me right

Deanna: Of course he doesn’t, he’s got Reece

Noe: Are you saying I’m unattractive

Tamika: SHHHH! The shirt is coming off

Previous ... Next

[whatsevengoingonanymore]

Haven’t been on this god forsaken site since 2019. But I’m back haters love to see me crawling back to the hell site.

I got my heart broken in April. Wasn’t anything serious. Honestly I don’t think I have the right to feel this shitty about how it all played out. It’s not like I knew him for years, made a life together only for it to come crumbling down on a random Tuesday afternoon. I knew him for maybe a month and didn’t like the idea of being an option to him when he told me there was someone else in the running to be something more with him. And I told him I didn’t want to be an option. And I should’ve just left after he said he felt it in his gut that he should still see her. I probably scared him off with how I nagged and prodded at him just to hear him say he liked her more.

Months later and I still feel shitty about the whole situation. Because nothing got better for me. Sure I progressed in my career, moved into a better apartment, tried new hobbies, spent time with old and new friends, everything you’re supposed to do when you get your heartbroken. Life moved on but I was still alone. I have friends and family who love me. I meet new people everyday, I make conversation, I laugh with them, I make a connection it’s literally part of my job and I’m good at it. But when I tried to move on through the apps I got nothing. Sure I got a few matches, more than I care to admit. Eventually you get tired of the game and just swipe right on everyone hoping something happens. Talked to a few guys. I had hope for a few of them. But none of them went anywhere. They all went silent on me. Rinse and repeated my same cycle of showing my friends the messages and asking them if I had said something wrong and the same result came up: I did everything right. And they did everything right. I wasn’t right for them, I guess.

Co worker tried to set me up with one of their family members. Also has gone nowhere. My love life is going nowhere. And it sucks because for the past year every guy I’ve gone on a date with that seemed like we were doing well ended up the same. The guy in October went back to his ex. The guy in January went back to his ex, but then broke up but I still never heard from him after that. And April ended up dating the girl he had a gut feeling about the whole time. The whole time he was telling me “you make me smile and laugh easily.” The whole time he told me “we get along and vibe on a lot of things.” The whole time when I admittingly asked “if she was prettier than me. I ask because I’m crazy.” and he looked at me with the softest look, rested his head on his car seat headrest, and told me “no.”

Maybe I’m over analyzing it but that look wouldn’t leave my mind for days. I don’t know if it was butterflies or the after shock of a gut punch but it stuck. I think I said something after that. I can’t remember exactly but I think I told him something along the lines of “fuck you don’t look at me that way.” And I think I said something else that made us both laugh. Then I immediately started crying because I hated that even in a serious moment like that he still made me laugh.

This is so emo and 8th grade of me to do but god damn it. I’m sick of this feeling and I wish I never met him. October and January were easy to push out of my mind. It was so easy to move onto the next or focus on the next steps in my career. I can still focus on my career and friendships but it creeps in. That feeling. That sinking feeling that I’ll be okay in my career and friendships. I’ve already accomplished so much, not to brag, but it is impressive or so I’ve been told. But I did it alone. There’s a scene in The French Dispatch by Wes Anderson that sums up my feelings on the matter. (I know. Of course this bitch is a Wes Anderson fan its painfully obvious if you ever see me on the streets)

“There is a particular sad beauty, well known to the companions, foreigners he walks the streets of his adopted preferably moonlit city in my case on me, France. I have so often shared the day's glittering discoveries with...no one at all. But always, somewhere on the avenue or the boulevard, there was a table set for me. A cook, a waiter, a bottle, glass, a fire. I chose this life. It is a solitary feast that has been very much a comrade, my great comfort and fortification.”

Maybe I chose this life on a cosmic level. My last heartbreak before threw me into a spiritual journey, for the best in the latter half of the journey but the beginning was shameful and humiliating. Somewhere in the journey I read that we, as spiritual divine beings, chose our human life. Why I chose this one I’ll have to take up with God who may or may not be myself.

Anyways this has gotten way off course. If you made it this far thanks.

TLDR: I’m the problem lol

[kathyrealmstales]

So I might have made Rottmnt headcanons… 10 to be exact… But this is only part two…

Some of them are based on funny ideas, others on real events with me and my own family. Each is labeled on who the headcanon is for, so if you are looking for specific ones for just Leo, It's there. Most of them though are either doubles or all of them together. Hope you enjoy it! If you guys like it, I make more of these.

Part 1

(Also just a heads up… NO TCEST!!! MY GOD, THEY ARE FAMILY! DO NOT SHIP THEM!!! AHHHH!!)

Minecraft (All of them, but they each have a paragraph) They all play Minecraft, That's just facts. April was the one to introduce it to them, she is really good at the game and can both build and do PVP well, but she mainly works with Building. She mainly makes minigames for the boys to go through and watches them suffer. She also has a dog army she named the Mayhem gang. Raph is not the best at the game at all, but he loves adopting every animal he sees, including Creepers, Zombies, Endermen, and Phantoms. His entire base is covered in them Donnie is the best at Redstone and basic building ideas, But he is horrible at PVP. The problem is that he keeps challenging people to PVP and then running away when he realizes he won't win. The only person he has beaten in a fight is Raph. But he died after because he forgot Raph has pet creepers and got blown up. Raph was sad his creeper died and Donnie had to pay him back Mikey is an amazing builder and okay with PVP, at least knows the basics of it. He makes these crazy builds and usually has these giant builds in the process of being made. The problem is actually being committed, He has a bunch of half-made buildings, that he left to go work on something else. And he won't let anyone else touch them so they stay half-built forever. Leo on the other hand is really good at PVP but horrible at the building. Which does not help when he wants to just chill. He likes to pull pranks on everyone on the server when bored and will scare others by being really quiet and then just showing up randomly to say hi. He mainly messes with Raph and Mikey. (Also he and Donnie made an Iron farm together and have a “Drug deal” with Mikey where Mikey can take all the Iron from it if Mikey builds for them) Splinter does play the game, but he mainly just messes around. He dies a lot and gets a bit upset at the game, but he likes to hang out with his kids and see what they are doing. He has a dead fish as his sword and smacks drown with it. He also has been free from Leo’s pranks, because Leo feels bad for his Dad, and tries to help him out.

Not normal collections... But to them it is. (The brothers) All the boys have something they collect that is strange. Mikey collects stickers and has an entire wall to them. They are all random and some of them he made himself. By the way, when I say a wall. I mean WALL! It’s an entire wall with stickers covering every inch. You can’t see the paint anymore. Raph collects Stuff animals, yes. But he also collects fluffy blankets and pillows and sleeps with every single one. He has been known for stealing his brother’s pillows and blankets before and has not given them back until someone steals them. And no, he is not even making a nest with it. He sleeps with all of these normally. And yes, he does have some bodypillows he has stolen from Donnie in there. But none of them have anime characters on them. They are just blank. Because they are the best. Leo collects comics, Action figures, and posters. Normal stuff. But he also collects Chinese fortune cookies fortunes. One day he just started doing it, and he has yet to stop. Luckily they don’t have Chinese much since they love pizza and have that all the time. But when they do, he asks everyone for their fortunes. Donnie tries to throw away his before Leo can get it, but Donnie has caught Leo going through the trash to get them. That's when they knew they had a problem and had to have a sit-down and tell him he needs to stop. …He has not stopped, but he does not go dumpster diving for them now. Donnie’s strange collection would be useful if he actually used it. He likes to collect boxes. No reason why, he just does. He thinks he could make something out of them, or use them for storage, but never does. Now there are a bunch of random boxes in his lab. And you would think he would throw them away. But he won't. (Might I also add these are not cardboard boxes, These are boxes with cool designs or interesting ways to open them. He has also secret container boxes that he saw online once.) His brothers will take some of the boxes from him and will throw them away for him. Making him believe they just needed the boxes for storage. And he won't even notice if one is missing.

Sour (Leo) Leo eats lemons, Not squeezed lemons or flavored lemon things. Just Lemons. He likes the sour taste. That's it. He just really likes sour tastes.

Winter (Starts just Mikey and Splinter, then full fam) When little tots, Mikey and Splinter to the surface on a summer day to get some stuff, and Mikey saw a random happy old dude with a white beard and a red t-shirt. And Instantly started yelling out Santa. Splinter was so embarrassed and ran away as soon as the guy turned around. Splinter then had to have the talk about how you can’t call people that. One time the boys decided they wanted to try catching Santa, so they got cameras and hid somewhere near the ceiling in hopes to see it. But when looking down there, they saw Splinter putting the gifts down. For a day they thought maybe their dad WAS Santa, before Splinter heard what they were talking about, and decided to tell them the truth. During winter, The boys go more feral and want more cuddles and sleep. They stack up on food, make little dens, and might even kidnap each other for cuddles. The worst is with Donnie who for some reason always surprise attacks one of his brothers and pulls them into his nest and forces them for cuddles. When it’s over he pretends it never happened. The brothers have their own tally of who was kidnapped each year. With Leo being in the lead. April and Splinter were spared somehow and the others don't know how.

[im-no-jedi]

MLWTBB: Master and Commander

Part 11 of the “My Life With The Bad Batch” series, a (mostly) canon compliant self-insert story set in “The Bad Batch”  

rated: T warnings: descriptions of food and eating, implied self-harm, gun violence relationships: Hunter/self-insert, Omega & self-insert (adopted siblings), The Bad Batch & self-insert chapter word count: 1900+ words

✨MLWTBB masterlist✨

summary: when Hannah’s already hectic life becomes almost too much to bear, Master Gildish gifts her a new companion to help ease the burdens, as well as give Hannah a new friend to live with. however, the Bad Batch are not so thrilled with Hannah’s new robotic ally, which causes major tension in Hannah’s relationship with Echo and Hunter.

notes: I made myself cry again with this one haha. I have no problem admitting a lot of my inspiration for Clank came from the movie “Short Circuit”. my love of robot characters in general is because of that movie, so I guess Clank (and Buddy and Gildish) is my little love letter to it (and all equally lovable robot characters, like Wall-E, the Iron Giant, and of course, the other droids in SW, just to name a few) 🥰

also, if you squint and look, this particular chapter was greatly influenced by a specific episode of The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh; that’s all I’ll say 😜

A/N: this story has not been proofread by anyone other than myself. so apologies for any uncaught errors 😬

previous chapter

Chapter 9: Just A Dumb Droid

______________________________________________________________

It was a sad time. The gloomy, cloud-filled skies of Ord Mantell made the already unpleasant atmosphere even more off-putting. Despite being in the early afternoon, the streets were dark and had a sense of despondency that would make even the most hardened individual uncomfortable. For some, that would manifest as fear or dread. But for others, it would simply put them in a downcast mood.

Clank was already in that place. His long, snout-like head hadn’t lifted since leaving Cid’s Parlor, and his flat, cone-shaped hat drooped over his round black eyes, casting a dismal shadow across them. Had anyone wandering the streets known he was a Battle Droid, perhaps they would’ve been intimidated by his shadowed appearance. But he kept the cloth that had been fashioned into a cloak wrapped tightly around his body, if only to give himself some sort of comfort. He honestly didn’t care if anyone recognized him, despite Hannah’s warnings. 

It all made sense now why she wanted him hidden in the first place. He was a killer, after all.

The market was still fairly busy at that time of day, which made it easier for Clank to blend in with the crowd. He wasn’t actively looking for trouble, but with everything Hannah had warned him about, it was only a matter of time before some sort of trouble found him first.

“I’d deserve it,” he told himself after questioning if someone might attack him on the street.

How many of these people would try to kill him once they found out what he was? The only thing keeping him from finding out was pure fear. The aggressive looks he’d gotten from the Clones were enough to terrify him into keeping his identity hidden. For now, at least.

A small gust blew past and rustled his cloak, which he still clung to protectively. His other hand grabbed the rim of his large hat to keep it from blowing away, and he gave a low sigh once it had passed.

“What am I even doing out here?” he questioned himself.

But he already knew the answer. He had nowhere else to go. The only other place he thought of going was back to Master Gildish’s workshop, but he had no idea of how to even get there. 

Maybe someone would be kind enough to give him directions. Not that he deserved their kindness. But it was still worth asking, if only so he wasn’t bothering anyone else wandering the streets with him.

“Excuse me,” Clank said after coming up to one of the stalls.

The stall-owner turned around and greeted Clank with a smile. Clank recognized them immediately from the day before. “Oh, hello again!” they cheerfully replied. “How’s that hat treating you?”

“Oh, uhh, fine! Great, actually! No problems with it so far!”

“Well that’s wonderful to hear. I knew that one would be a perfect fit for you.”

“It certainly does fit me perfectly!” Clank adjusted the hat for emphasis.

“You know,” the stall-owner said as they placed a few stray hats on a rack. “I have to thank you, honestly.”

“For what?” Clank asked, curiously cocking his head.

“I don’t often get a lot of business, much less business as pleasant as you are. It really was a breath of fresh air working with you yesterday. I’ve never had anyone so enthusiastic as you come ‘round here!”

Clank turned a bit sheepish and grabbed the back of his long neck shyly. “Aww... well you were very helpful, so thank you too!”

“Oh, it was my pleasure.” The stall-owner gave Clank a cheerful smile, which only made him turn more bashful. “You let me know if there’s anything else I can do for you, ok?”

“Ok!” A few seconds of silence went by before Clank remembered why he was there in the first place. “Oh, by the way, do you know the way to Master Gildish’s workshop?”

“Ol’ Gildish? Yeah, he’s a ways down from here.” 

The stall-owner gave Clank directions to the workshop, and Clank kindly thanked them for their help before making his way in that direction.

“What a nice person,” Clank thought to himself as he walked. “It’s too bad I probably would’ve killed them during the war...”

Despite the nice interaction, Clank’s thoughts still lingered on his own transgressions of the past. How could anyone be so kind to something that was created for destruction? Granted, they didn’t know what he truly was under that hat they’d given him. And if they did, would they still have been so kind? So what if he had been friendly to them first? He was only that way because Master Gildish had wiped his original programming... right?

Something suddenly bumped Clank in the foot as he was walking, and it knocked him out of his thoughts. He looked down to see a small round object lying next to his foot.

“Oops! Sorry!” A shrill voice called out to him. Clank turned to see a young girl, even smaller than Omega, meekly standing off the side of the street. Several other children were gathered near her, equally sheepish. Their clothes were quite dirty, which wasn’t surprising considering the filthy state of the streets.

After staring at the orb for a moment, Clank bent down and picked it up. He gave it a good look over to make sure it wasn’t damaged, then called back to the girl, “no problem! Here ya go!”, as he held out the orb in her direction.

The girl seemed a bit nervous at first, but after some encouragement from the other children, she walked over to Clank and enthusiastically took the orb from his hands. “Thanks, mister!” she said, staring up at him with a grateful smile.

“Happy to help!” Clank gave her a small salute, and the girl giggled before skipping back to the other children, who waved at Clank as he walked away from them.

“Such sweet children,” Clank internally mused as he heard the sounds of the children laughing behind him. “I’m sure I would’ve tried killing them during the war too...”

The more Clank thought about the war, the more he wondered exactly what his purpose was back then. He knew he was a Commander, but of what? Other droids? And what were his commands? For all he knew, his sole purpose was to kill anything and anyone that stood in his way. That’s what the Clones had indicated to him anyway. 

Was that really his sole purpose? To kill? To destroy?

What else could he do?

Some rustling in a nearby alley suddenly drew Clank’s attention. At first, he thought it was a person getting ready to pop out and attack him. He instinctively pulled his cloak tighter against his body and took a defensive position. Nothing was coming out of the alley, although there did seem to be some movement around a stack of crates. 

Upon closer inspection, Clank discovered a few rodent-like creatures rummaging through the crates. One of them had a piece of rotted food in its mouth, and Clank let out a sigh of relief.

“Boy, you really gave me a scare there, little guy!” he said to the creature.

The little rodent stared at Clank curiously for a moment, its tiny pink and brown nose twitching. Then it scurried off the crate and into a dark corner with its mouth still full of food.

Then Clank heard some soft squeaking noises coming from one of the other crates. Another rodent creature was perched at the edge and frantically wiggling around, like it was anxious about something. Clank watched it for a moment and saw that it kept peeking inside the crate, so he did the same. 

To his surprise, another rodent creature was lying in the crate, unmoving, but shivering like mad. Claw marks lined the sides of the crate, like something had been trying to get out.

“Aww, you poor thing,” Clank said as he peered down at the shivering creature.

Very gently, Clank reached into the crate and cupped his hands around the little rodent. It continued to shiver as he pulled it out, while the one perched on the edge was squeaking like crazy at him.

“Don’t worry,” Clank reassured the anxious one. “I’m just helping your friend get free. See?” 

With that, he unfurled his hands to reveal the shivering creature to the other, who began squeaking more at the sight of it. Clank very gently sat the creature down on another nearby crate that was shut, and the squeaking rodent hopped over to greet its friend excitedly. Although still a bit shaken, the newly freed rodent hobbled onto its feet to give the other a few sniffs before the two rodents curled around each other with happy squeaks.

“Awwww,” Clank cooed at the sight of them. “Glad you’re together again! Stay safe, little guys!” He gave the rodents a salute, then headed back out into the street again, listening happily to the contented squeaks behind him.

“I wonder if even those little guys wouldn’t have survived the war,” Clank pondered to himself. “Probably not, considering how terrible I was...”

Clank had fully convinced himself by then that there was no hope for him. The war was over, and he no longer had a purpose. What does one do after no longer serving the purpose they were created for?

Hannah knew. She had told him already. “You’re really not much different from the Clones,” she’d said to him the day before. Clank asked what she meant by that, and she very plainly said both he and the Clones were created for war purposes. “Forced soldiers”, she’d called them, made to fight in a war they had no real opinion of. And now, that war didn’t even exist anymore. 

The Clones had been able to find a new purpose for themselves, so why shouldn’t Clank be any different?

The words of the pale Clone with a scomp arm began to fill Clank’s memory now, like a holovid changing from one scene to the next. “Nothing will change the fact that that droid was a killer.” A “dumb droid”, he’d called him. And that’s really all he was. He’d messed things up with Hannah’s family, like the dumb droid he was.

Hannah didn’t need him. She had her family to take care of her, after all. 

And if Hannah didn’t need him... did anyone really need him?

It wasn’t that far to Master Gildish’s workshop by then. But Clank didn’t feel a need to go there anymore. What good would it do? All he would do is be a bother, a nuisance, a “dumb droid”.

So instead, Clank meandered off the beaten path into another dark alley. Garbage littered the ground, and a few of the rodent creatures scurried away as he approached. A crate just big enough for him to sit on sat in the darkest and dankest corner of the alley. With a heavy sigh, Clank sat down on the crate, letting his hat droop over his face solemnly.

“I won’t bother anyone here,” he said to himself in a sluggish tone. “I just hope... Master Hannah... will be happy again...”

The alley went quiet, save for the soft rustling of the rodents in the garbage. A gentle wind blew through and rustled the cloak wrapped around Clank’s body. But he didn’t move. Clank’s body now sat motionless, like a statue positioned on one of the crates.

Like a soldier with no war to fight in and no purpose in life.

[next chapter]

[candikin]

Rambling About Characters I Haven't Drawn/Talked About Much Yet!!!

(because I have nothing to do-)

______________________________________________________________

Aqua Diggins Mary

Job: Unemployed

Random Info: Adopted by the Mary Family, has an ability where she can understand and talk to dogs, always quits her job after a month or two as she has no idea what she wants to do with her life, used to be extremely girly in highschool

Personality: She's quite calm but isn't incapable of losing her temper, she's very overprotective over her sister, feels isolated most of the time but she doesn't mind it most of the time, sometimes brutally honest

Fears: Dragons, heights, her sister losing herself

Mr. Somebody

Job: Wall Employee

Random Info: Got divorced then remarried the same person, his real name is Aaron Greyson but everybody at work forgot his name so they just started calling this, his hair is covering his face due to it being literally just ink, if he feels any extreme emotion other then sadness he will slowly turn into a monster and then die, father to Lexi and Aqua (though neither are biologically related to him)

Personality: He's miserable, he really just needs someone to cheer him up, he's honest but very quiet, usually stays alone from both being used to it and just liking being alone, very open-minded, never really expresses his emotions even to his wife and kids

Fears: His father, what happens after death, his family being taken away from him

Bruno Izzy Orange

(yes, I gave her that name before realizing that was more of a guy name, but at that point I already was calling her that for years)

Job: Government (I don't have specifics lmao)

Random Info: Dating a girl named May, lives with her girlfriend in an apartment, not much of a talker unless you work with her, only really has work relationships then anything else, great with physical fighting and with a pistol, terrible with any other weapon

Personality: She's pretty book smart and street smart, only really lets her "tough and cold" persona down around May, often teases her close friends off work, not completely insecure but certainly wishes she was someone else, hates telling anything personal about herself

Fears: Cyborgs, injuries that can lead to scarring, bombs

May Baggins

Job: Unemployed

Random Info: Owns hundreds of plushes, isn't sure if she would rather join the Toppat Clan or not but went with being unemployed due to her girlfriend, pathetically weak, always uses her girlfriend as a shield, in slight debt, "homeschooled", has a terrible past with her father...

Personality: A little nervous wreck, she can't handle stress, if embarrassment was a person it would be her, when calm she's very sweet, very close-minded, extremely insecure, surprisely alright with telling her past if you don't mind her stuttering and crying a lot

Fears: Hard decisions, small spaces, fire, water, heights

Morena Elone

Job: Toppat

Random Info: This is the weirdest OC I have created, would do (almost) anything for money, not actually a gold digger but everybody thinks she is, needs glasses/contacts but refuses to get them, saving for college because her family didn't give her anything, had academic validation in childhood

Personality: Acts like a complete dumbass but she's actually very smart, gets bored easily, kind of a dickhole, not insecure in her looks but absolutely insecure with everything else, is capable of feeling guilt but others constantly portray her as heartless, love disgusts her but is also extremely flirty and touch starved

Fears: Strangers, her family, being truly vulnerable

Jack Oliver Cinder

Job: Government (Fixes helicopters!!)

Random Info: Engaged to Charles Calvin, owns a pet Cockatiel named Pika, his birthday is on Halloween, loves murder mystery shows/games, doesn't trust the city that much

Personality: Playful, can be a bit negative at times but always tries to be realistic no matter what, tries to be open-minded but can be very judgmental, a bit of a troublemaker if he gets too curious, always curious about magic but is a little skeptical about it

Fears: Ghosts, Toppat Clan, Charles getting hurt, spiders

Cinnamon Cinder

Job: Government Spy

Random Info: Mentions she has dreams about the future but nobody believes her, absolutely obsessed with magic, currently pretending to be a Toppat member on the rocket but a certain someone knows she's a spy... but they refuse to reveal she's one

Personality: Very sweet, a bit of a scatterbrain, seems very cheerful but she's also a depressing gal, seems very forgetful but remembers everything, loyal to her siblings

Fears: Death, being misunderstood

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[YOU GOT A MESSAGE! WOULD YOU LIKE TO OPEN IT?] [[YES]] [NO]

"Uh... hello? Is this working? I'm Cinnamon Cinder! Just call me Cinna. I can't tell where I am... there's no clouds, but no fire. All I see is colors... colors and colors. I want out, does anybody know how I can get out! Please I'm calling for help, I need it. I know you guys probably don't know me but I really need your help-"

[MESSAGE DELETED] [WHOOPS! THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GONE ALREADY, HOPEFULLY THIS DOESN'T GET ME FIRED.] [CLOSING...]

[bilightningwhumper]

Mangst 2024- Day 24

<<Previous . Masterlist . Next>>

Burning Ashes (Cinderella + Beauty and the Beast) Masterlist

“It was all for nothing.”

Summary:

Isaac wakes up at the Evergreen Heart Medical Center Potential spoiler expert for "Burning Ashes"

Notes:

No warnings for this one, just hurt/comfort angsty fluff Characters: Isaac- Beast Crystal- Beauty Cinder (mentioned)- Cinderella Sienna (mentioned)- Red Riding Hood Robin (mentioned)- Robin Hood Sam (mentioned)- Little Mermaid Hannah (mentioned)- Prince's fiance/bride Derrick (mentioned)- Prince

Isaac’s POV

The first time Isaac woke up fully, Crystal was sitting by his bed, reading a book. She put it down as soon as he groaned, trying to sit up.

“Hey, take it easy. Let me help.” she said, propping pillows up behind him as she used one arm to keep him partially upright.

He feel back into the pillows as soon as she let go. Even though all he’d done was sleep, he still had no energy.

“Where-” he croaked before coughing, throat and mouth dry as the desert.

Crystal got a cup and poured water into it from a pitcher on the side table, helping him drink it when he couldn’t lift his arms.

“Where are the others?” he whispered, voice still hoarse.

She shook her head at him, smiling wryly. “Of course, you ask about everyone else before yourself. They’re fine, in their own rooms. Sienna was able to contact her father, so he’ll be taking care of her once she’s been discharged. Leslie keeps asking for her mother, but without much of a description or contact information, we had to put her through DNA testing. Hopefully we find something.”

“She can’t go back to her.” Isaac grabbed at Crystal’s hand weakly. “That woman, she…” He trailed off, shaking his head.

“I know, hun.” Crystal squeezed his hand softly. “It’s more to make an arrest than anything else. But honestly, from patients we’ve had like her, she was either adopted or kidnapped. I’m going to ask around for any other centers’ patients that match the names she gave me.”

Relief flooded through him and he relaxed into the pillows. “Good. That’s good.” Then he noticed Crystal was giving him a look. “What?”

She rolled her eyes. “Are you going to ask or not?”

Oh. He couldn’t meet her eyes. “How’s Cinder? Is he okay?”

“He’s… adjusting. Worried about you more than anything else. We have him in the omega ward right now, but he’s been asking about the pack ward and if you’d be going there. And if Leslie would be there, too. It’s been difficult to keep him from getting too stressed, so it’s probably a good idea.”

Isaac winced. It was his fault the pack was falling apart. He’d failed. Robin got left behind to give them a diversion. Sam had run off, no doubt recaptured by the Institution already. He was useless as a pack alpha compared to Robin.

“I’m sorry. I tried to stop Sam from running off, but he- All of this, it was all for nothing. The whole point was to get us all out of there and keep the pack together. It’s all my fault. I-”

“Stop.” Crystal got uncharacteristically stern. “You couldn’t have stopped Sam from jumping into the water even if you’d knocked him unconscious and manhandled him into the car.”

He looked up, confused. “How do you know about that?”

“Some of it I found out from Sienna and Cinder. But I’d already learned some of it before any of you even arrived. That cliff-side near the Institution…” she sighed shakily, a sad smile on her face. “Hannah and Derrick, Sam’s soulmates, they just got married. The wedding was on a boat nearby. The weather got bad and Derrick fell overboard. Someone saved him. Hannah told me that he described someone like Sam, including the soul-mark they share. But no one ever told him about Sam, at least, not that he was their other soulmate before that night. We thought it was just his muddled memories mixing up the EMTs with Hannah or something after being found on the beach and in the ambulance. Crystal squeezed his hand with both of her. “But knowing Sam really is alive, I know it was him now. Between escape and the pull of a soul-bond, there’s no way you could have done anything to change what happened. So you can’t blame yourself for this, okay?”

That… was a lot to take in all at once. So he just nodded, dazed and still tired.

Crystal must have seen it in his face because she stood up, kissing his forehead. “Get some sleep. I’ll let your friends know they can come visit you in the morning.”

He nodded again, eyes already sliding shut. He was asleep before she even left the room.

[oflowtides]

⸻ WYATT OLEFF. HE/HIM / have you ever heard of NARROW by mayday parade? it describes ADRIAN FINCH to a tee! the twenty year old STUDENT AT RHODE ISLAND UNIVERSITY was spotted walking down the beach - do you know them? would you say HE is more trenchant or more QUICK WITTED instead? anyway, they remind me of falling asleep while watching a live stream, deep embarrassment over your parents that never quite fades away, slow emotional transformations and always hitting the snooze button, maybe you’ll bump into them soon!

Adrian was a boy born to two teenage parents who maybe had the best intentions at heart, but he rarely saw it that way. He didn't remember his mom very well - he wasn't that old when she left, and Caspian did everything he could to wipe any evidence of his ex wife from their lives, but there were a few photos he kept tucked into the back of one of his drawers. He didn't think the fact that she wanted a life without them would ever stop hurting, and he couldn't stop thinking that it was his fault.

He was an angry boy, even from the start. He fought frequently with his dad, and Caspian could hardly blame him, but it was tiring. It was often a quiet anger, simmering all day before he got home from school and blew up at the most innocent question, locking himself in his room and refusing to come out. A lot of this stemmed from the fact that Adrian had asked why other kids who's parents were divorced split time between houses - and Caspian had to gently explain that his mother gave up physical custody of him and that it wasn't required. The devastation started as anger, but after a few years it fizzled out to soft sobs and late nights crawling into bed with his dad, the one person he knew would never leave him.

It's not that Adrian was purposefully sabotaging his dad's dating life (except he absolutely was). A snarky kid wasn't exactly anyone's idea of a fun time, and Adrian may or may not play it up any time he thought that someone wouldn't be a good match, but he'd never admit that. Clarice was different though, and he absolutely adored her. She was the one thing he'd say his dad actually got right, himself notwithstanding. Most of the anger had melted away when Clarice came into his life through years of therapy and long talks with Caspian about his mom and what happened and why they had him if she just was going to leave (it's a very long story and not what anyone would think was going to happen).

Things were starting to look up after Clarice and Caspian got married - until suddenly, Adrian's mom had a huge problem with Clarice trying to legally adopt him and decided to make problems. Adrian always had a very dry and sarcastic nature about him, but this completely uprooted his life, and his old, angry tendencies started poking out again. Stacy seemed hellbent on making this process as drawn out and difficult as possible, and it was the first time Adrian had seen his mother in at least ten years. It was awful, and the anger and sadness made what felt like a permanent home in his chest.

The process did get resolved - and Adrian slowly but surely went back to his old self, but it was clear some old wounds had bee ripped open again. Why hadn't she cared at all until now, when suddenly someone else did? It kept him up at night, but at least both his dad and his new mom were patient with him as long as he wasn't being too snarky.

Adrian still had a tendency to get a little mean, but life has felt more stable and comfortable than it has for a very long time. Sometimes it seems like his eyes will get stuck in a permanent eyeroll, but at this point, it's practically a love language for him. It's not that easy for him to let people in as much as he used to, but he's still fairly popular amongst his peers for his quick wit and drivers license.

[virtue-and-beneviolence]

(We're moots but going anon because you're too cool for me and I'm shy sksksksss) Chu help me, I want to adopt a second dog but I'm still in uni and realistically I know it's a bad idea, but he's been at the shelter for so long and he's become so skinny and sad 😭😭 I'm lucky that I live in a house with a large backyard and roommates atm and I have a steady source of income and some money aside but idk what the future holds... But winter is here and I'm scared that he won't make it...

I already bought him a coat to protect him from the cold bc he kept shivering and I feed him extra food each time I go to the shelter since I'm a volunteer but he's not getting better, and now he's bonded to me on top of everything else. He's a high-energy breed too and I know I could provide him with the exercise and stimulation he needs (my first dog is actually too lazy for me and happy with one walk a day if even that despite being young and a "working breed" lmao rip). I dunno, I'm just scrambling my brain trying to think of a solution, I'd suggest fostering but the shelter really only does it for elderly or very young animals... I'd probably end up foster failing anyway lmao.

I guess I'm looking for a neutral outside pov from someone who has several dogs??

I'm so far from cool what is this perception of me

Id say your practical concerns are valid: if your roommates will accept him, if you can comfortably afford him, if you have help taking care of him if necessary etc. It sounds like most of those are answered. Have you asked your roommates about it?

The other concern is -- is his health so poor that you may lose him young? And can you afford that unfortunate possibility?

But I'd say If you're bonded and can handle it and have the means and safety net to care for him as well as (or better) than the shelter...I mean...I'd take him.

I think you've been extremely thoughtful and rational about the process and know the situation best. Talk to your roommates and don't doubt yourself. You know if you can handle him. And you'll certainly make it work if you have to, being a good match just helps lessen the stress.

Read more for a "how I met my puppers" story and why I'm not the best person to ask T.T

But my mother and I want around the whole family to shelters before surprising them with meeting the dog we wanted. Aka kinda rudely but not irresponsibly bc we had a yard and supplies fr the previous dog we had 🥺.

And I got bread while living alone in an apartment with no yard at all to speak of bc my friend heard our other coworker freaking out that her roomate let a street dog in her apartment and my friend was like (without talking to me, just knowing I needed/wanted a dog) "oh vi will take that dog"

She came up to me later like "oh hey I got you a dog." I met her after work (LITERALLY ON MY WAY TO ANOTHER STATE FOR A THREE DAY VACATION) And fell in love with my idiot 🥺 said I'd take her with ZERO SUPPLIES or preparation and a messy ass apartment and left her with that friend who watched her those first two days and I came back early) whipped my shit into shape real good real fast.

It was rash and irresponsible as FUCK but we're doing just fine now bc we needed each other (she's laying next to me in bed with her snoot on my shoulder rn 🥺✨)

All of that to say I may not be the best person to ask lololol

[phoenixyfriend]

When Obi-Wan gets to AotC, there's also about two dozen Anakin clones on-site. They're all girls because... IDK Anakin is trans. They have a hive mind and are developmentally a few years younger than Anakin himself.

It's incredibly unsettling to Obi-Wan.

It's almost definitely a "fuck with Anakin's already fragile mental health" ploy by Palpatine, along with a "what if Jedi Black Widows, for me, a Sith Lord. Wouldn't that be neat? That would be neat."

Anakin is torn between "this freaks me out" and "GANG OF BABY SISTERS LET'S GOOOOOOO."

(I just finished reading Like Real People Do by glimmerglanger, so this is definitely inspired by that and the obligatory 'lay back in bed and daydream variations on plot points of that fic you just really enjoyed,' and also a little by Same Heart, Same Blood by loosingletters.)

They're physically like 14-16 on average, and Anakin's vibrating out of his skin with a million conflicting emotions, but when he tells Padme she's just like "oh, you have a handmaiden gang!"

I told this to @willowcrowned and she suggested:

Once Anakin decides to repress the part of him that’s weirded out and just regard them as baby sisters he gets. A little strange about it The first time one of them dies he may or may not slaughter every person he can [in response to Padme's comment] Anakin starts worrying that he needs to get them cool matching outfits

I also chatted about it with @firebirdeternal and they said:

Gang of Unsettling Smol Siblings is exactly the Karma that Anakin deserves

Do you think the Clones have a kind of Collective Name that they use at first that eventually just kind of morphs into a new last name? Skysisters or something? Like Palpatine was trying to be clever and name them like the Nightsisters.

I initially went with "functionally one person" hive-mind but I'm torn.

I think maybe they're BASICALLY one person on Kamino but drift into Separate Consciousness once they're far enough apart physically that their minds don't blend from proximity anymore.

Then they start Dating (like half of them are dating Fett clones because they grew up with these dudes, it's like childhood friends romance), and Anakin loses his mind about Protecting Them and They're Too Young.

Padme: You're nineteen and we just got married, they can date. Anakin: THEY'RE EIGHT. Padme: And the Fett clones are ten and dying for us in the field. Get them rights before you panic about their love lives.

Firebird:

it could be worse, one of them could imprint on Obi-Wan. "Anakin I promise I won't yell at you for the next five stupid things you do if you can figure out a way to stop this baby from having a crush on me" (I like the idea of Obi-wan bargaining not with "I won't be mad at you ever" because they Both Know That's Not True, and instead haggling with specific allowances. Like he's handing out Stupidity Coupons)

Please imagine Mace and Obi-Wan's personal responses to the idea of suddenly having to deal with not one, not two, but OVER TWENTY SKYWALKERS.

Plo is delighted to take one off their hands.

So is Yoda.

Willow:

Mace is like. okay suicide isn’t the Jedi way but on the other hand. i physically cannot deal with this Yoda: a skywalker, you say? one who is tall enough to reach the top shelf, you say? such a skywalker, bring me

Anakin would be given at least one because fuck you, suffer with us, but he's still a padawan so Ugh, fine, no.

I want to say one stays on Coruscant to hang out with the Guard, and ends up half-adopted by Padme. She keeps dressing up the Aniclone left with her in handmaiden outfits and sending selfies to Anakin.

"Hanging out with the little SiL!"

Anakin has so many issues about WHEN his genetic material was acquired.

And there's some confusion from the Fett clones about how much of a hive mind is normal for Jedi. They are confused that the answer is basically none, and "this is WHY nobody clones a Jedi"

ONE OF THEM STEALS BOBA FROM THE ARENA ON GEONOSIS.

Firebird:

"I have followed in our progenitor's footsteps and acquired a sibling." holds up a struggling Boba "He bites."

Willow:

Ooooo okay so if they have a sort of hive mind then they probably don’t have names other than their designations on Kamino right BUT When they SEPARATE The one that picks Boba up on Geonosis gets a name specifically for that. Okay what if the one Padmé picks up gets some variant on ‘pretty’ because she’s always being dressed up BELLE Maybe Yoda’s Ani has a name that means thief? Because obviously Yoda is using Anakin to steal sweets

So, to make the timeline work...

I don't think anyone would give Anakin one of his sisters until after he's knighted at least.

So obviously when they're doing initial placements none of the sisters go to him or Obi-Wan.

Once he's knighted, of course they're already all placed with someone, and Anakin instead gets Ahsoka. He loves Ahsoka. She is also a little sister. He said so.

At some point afterwards, one of the sisters is left without a place because the Master that was in charge of her died in the field battle.

That sister then gets placed with Obi-Wan, because he's already mostly-successfully raised one Skywalker, so he can do it again.

Anakin gets to hang out with her basically all the time.

Ahsoka is very very jealous of this girl stealing Anakin's attention.

Anakin is oblivious to the rivalry.

He asks Barriss to look after them while he's discussing Adult War Things with Luminara and Obi-Wan, and Barriss gets an eye into This Mess, which is quickly colored by Ahsoka growing a puppy crush on the lovely Miss Offee herself.

Firebird:

Ahsoka: Ah yes, my nemesis. Anisister: Ah yes, my new older sister whom I want to impress so bad.

"I will impress her by being Stoic and Competent" "Oh my god she must think she's so much better than me what a bitch"

Anakin is oblivious to most things to be fair Anakin: Laser focused precision fighting machine who can read the tiniest body movements and predict your moves seconds in advance, who also cannot understand even the most basic social nuance. I was originally writing this as to Dunk on Anakin but then I made myself sad, because none of those things are really his fault.

So you know that post about like, Sasuke and Brooding, specifically in the context of "Brooding" as it's used to refer to Nesting Chickens? Grouchy and protective and sitting on a tennis ball trying to hatch it because they're just. "These are my Babies." Anakin Broods. Baby sisters. Must protecc. "I'm actually fine and extremely deadly in combat." "MUST PROTECT."

Bad Guy: [catches Ahsoka in a Trap] Aniclone: Must rescue sister! Aniclone: [fights, is not winning fight, gets ouched] Ahsoka tearing her way out of Trap: I lived bitch. Also: stay the fuck away from her. [murders so hard]

Ahsoka catches the Protective Older Sib feels by the traditional method: "Hey, only I'm allowed to be mean to them."

Willow:

Oh Anakin has no clue what’s going on. He walks in on Ahsoka glaring at the Ani and is like!!! Little sisters!!! Bonding!!! When Ahsoka was about three seconds away from tossing her out of the airlock. Ahsoka mistakenly assumes that Barriss has a crush on the Ani, and gets even MORE jealous.

Obi-Wan is like oh god. I can’t take care of an Anakin going through puberty again. He’s great with periods and other stuff because he read about a billion books. He is TERRIBLE with everything else, as he was the first time.

Barriss is like???? YOU'RE BOTH CHILDREN, PLEASE CALM DOWN, I HAVE ZERO INTEREST IN DATING ANYONE, LET ALONE SOMEONE YOUR AGE.

IDK how old Obi-Wan's Aniclone is, probably physically the same age as Ahsoka?

Per @atagotiak on discord:

Also something something, similarities btw Anakin and Obi-Wan where like. "Am I a parent? That seems uncomfortable, I'm too young to be a dad to a kid this age, I mean I'm cool with being a mentor/caretaker but..."

Obi-Wan can't even sidestep parenthood this time.

"Is Anakin basically your dad?" "Uhhhhhh" [Muffled discussion] "So Obi-Wan is your dad." "Okay!" "WAIT NO I DIDN'T AGREE TO THIS"

Ahsoka: She's stealing my brother, that BITCH. Obi-Wan's Aniclone: new sister new sister new sister gotta make a good impression

Firebird:

I feel like the Sister Squad would make very effective interstellar espionage agents Even like, kind of by accident. They just get encouraged to branch out in their interests and figure out what they want to do with their lives and end up all over the dang place, and since they're all pretty dang competent they tend to gravitate towards Important Positions wherever they end up. Except for one sister who just retires to raise Space Sheep.

I like that in this AU Palpatine is just like "I will create an army of Loyal Murderers who will obey my every whim and also be a big psychological lever on my Other Pet Murderer," and then they all just Baby Duckling imprint on the first Jedi to be nice to them instead and he has to just be like "Wait no not like that."

AND one of them Steals Boba

I want Obi-Wan's Aniclone to start dating Fives. All the sisters judge her for it, because he's a Goof. A very competent, ARC Trooper goof! But a goof.

Not as goofy as Anakin, though.

Firebird:

Who expects a clone of Anakin Skywalker to not make questionable lifelong romantic choices impulsively?

[ellana-ravenwood]

“You’re not my real mom !” - Batkids x Fem!Reader (Batmom)

Synopsis : A story about those few dreaded words : “You’re not my real mom”, said by the batkids, to you, in a the heat of a moment. And the aftermath of it all... 

This has been in my draft for ages. I hope you like it :) : 

my masterlists : @ella-ravenwood-archives

__________________________________________________

DICK 

It happened so fast. In a quick moment of anger. 

A flash, a bang, words said too quickly to truly realize their meaning. 

Dick was frustrated because he felt you didn’t understand him, his point of view. And you were trying to explain to him that it was not okay to...

You know what ? 

You couldn’t even remember what he did. As if whatever it was, it was all wiped out of your memory when he pronounced those bone chilling words. 

You only remembered you were “scolding” him, just like parents do when their child did something he wasn’t supposed to. You rarely told Dick off, even when he would burst into fits of anger. 

You always told him : “When you came into my life, you changed everything. And I love all of you little bird. Not just when you’re joking around and smiling. But also when you get angry, and lash out. You are my son, I love all of you.” 

And you meant it. Often, you or Bruce would take the brunt of his anger, without batting an eye. After all, that child went through a lot. It was totally normal for him to lash out at times. 

He saw his parents died right in front of him. It wasn’t a trauma that would be solved that fast (Bruce was proof of it). “The magic of love” couldn't simply cure someone who was so deeply hurt. Although it helped, over time. 

Yes. Time. 

It would take time, and support, for Dick to heal. And you were here for it. Here for him. 

But there were times, you had to say something. 

Usually, it was when he was being too reckless. 

Your son could be overzealous, and go too far. And you were so worried about his safety and wellbeing...Very rarely, you’d have to “scold” him. 

And you couldn’t even remember what you were lecturing him about that evening (even if you had an idea it was about being a little more careful). All you remembered was...

“You’re not even my real mom ! You can’t tell me anything !” 

And him turning away from you, crossing his arms and refusing to look your way. Which was good anyway, because you were an instant mess. 

“Ok”, you managed to say, wondering how the hell you were able to get the words out. And then you left. Feeling the tears welling up in your eyes. And your heart slowly breaking. 

Bruce found you two later, both clearly feeling down... 

Dick stayed quiet the entire time they were on patrol, and Bruce instantly knew something was wrong. He wasn’t there during your fight, and he only arrived when you were already gone, surprised that you went to bed so early in the night, and didn’t stay with your son downstairs until it was time for patrol... 

The man didn’t push the boy, waiting for him to open up if he wanted to. And as usual, Dick did finally speak up. In a weak voice, as they were surveying the city from a rooftop, he said :

“I told her she wasn’t my real mom...” 

“Ah.” 

Bruce felt the urge to go back home and console you, knowing that you were certainly a mess, right now. But he had to take care of his boy, too. 

And oh, oh Dick looked so crestfallen and sad as the meaning of his words slowly etched into his mind. 

“I told her she wasn’t-she wasn’t-but she is I just-I-I don’t know why I said that-I...” 

The little one was on the verge of tears, and Bruce understood why. 

He probably understood more than anyone else. 

He told Alfred “You’re not my dad !” more than once, and remembered how even the stoic butler looked, whenever he said it. 

He remembered the hurt in his eyes, the resignation too. The “very well sir”, said in a neutral manner, but the stiff way he’d left the room. 

It took Bruce a while, to finally realize that Alfred WAS his father. That he raised him, most definitely. And was always there for him during the hard times. 

That he even helped and supported him, when he came back after disappearing for years, saying : “I’m going to dress up as a bat and wipe crimes from Gotham”. ...How many parents would be that understanding, eh ? 

Alfred knew Bruce. And always tried to do his best for him. So whenever Bruce would yell at him that he “wasn’t his father”, it hurt. 

Bruce knew it. He noticed how Alfred’s entire demeanor would change. He’d see a light go out in his eyes. 

“Very well, sir.”, a small bow, and the stiffness of his body as he left...

And Bruce remembered. 

The guilt and the pain he felt himself, as he regretted ever saying those words. As he knew they were going to hurt, which is why he said them in the first place.

It wasn’t that he wanted to hurt his adopted father, oh no. It was that sometimes he just...He just felt so angry ! Like everything was unfair ! And he missed his parents so much ! 

It was a force stronger than him, he wanted Alfred to leave him alone, and pushed him away...”You’re not my dad !”. So yes. Bruce understood little Dickie. He understood you, too. He knew how you must’ve felt, he saw it enough happening to Alfred. 

Once you’d get home, he would take care of you. But right now, he had to care for his son. 

Right here, on one of Gotham’s rooftop, the scary and mighty Batman slowly kneeled down, and took his boy in his arms, holding him tightly. 

Dick didn’t need more to throw his arms around his father’s shoulders, and hold him strongly too, with all his nine years old strength, sobbing slowly. 

Bruce drew soothing circles on his back, and whispered : 

“It’s ok, it’s going to be ok. It’s ok. Calm down, things are going to be ok.” 

Your husband lost count of the time passing. Were they there, holding each others while Dick was sobbing uncontrollably, for ten minutes, or for ten hours ? He didn’t know. And he didn’t budge.  

His son needed him. Just like once, he needed Alfred... 

Dick fell asleep in his arms, and that night, Bruce came home early. 

Not like he was going to stay out anyway, knowing you were probably devastated, all alone in your room... 

************

Dick fell into a deep sleep, and didn’t budge one bit even as Bruce came down the building, rode home, and put him into bed. 

Bruce’s guess was that all the pent up feelings truly exhausted him. Also, he knew that crying could be tiring. And freeing, in a way. 

Putting the boy’s blanket all the way up to his chin, Bruce laid a kiss on his forehead and then rushed to your shared bedroom... 

You had cried too, but you were not asleep. 

Your eyes were puffy and red, and your cheeks marked with your tears. You seemed surprised, when he came in, and looked at the clock. 

It was only midnight ? 

“Hello, my love.” 

He sat down next to you, and from the way he ran his fingers through your hair, and caressed your cheek, wiping the salty tears from it...You knew he knew.

He knew how devastated you felt. How those simple words that would mean nothing for many, truly wounded you. 

He knew how much you loved that boy, how as soon as your eyes laid on his little face that terrible night he lost his parents, you felt like he was going to be your son one day. 

He knew how much you’d sacrifice for that kid’s happiness, how far you’d go to keep him safe...And so, how hurtful him telling you you weren’t his real mother must’ve felt.  

There was no need for words. 

He knew what to do. He laid next to you, and you just cuddled up to him, letting him wrap you up in his warm embrace. 

He drew those same soothing circles on your back than he did on Dick’s. And whispered : 

“He didn’t mean it. He truly didn’t. He loves you, you know. I love you too.” 

You fell asleep to his words of love and reassurance, finally letting go after hours of not being able to sleep, reenacting the terrible scene in your head over and over again, making yourself feel worst each times. 

************

You woke up around 4 am, with Bruce’s arms wrapped around you.  

He was asleep and escaping his grasp (without Alfred’s help) took you a little bit..but you managed to leave without waking him up. 

He did groan a little at the loss of your warmth, and grabbed your pillow to hold it against his chest. Which was extremely cute, and oh how glad you were to be the only one to see this side of him. 

You went down to the kitchen and... 

Dick was coming from the other door, opposite to the one you took.

The kitchen had three access. Two doors facing each others, and one on the third wall. The door you took was because you got a little lost and did a detour through the drawing room. Dick, however, came from the door you should’ve come from too, which was the one you accessed from the West Wing third corridors, which was directly under your bedroom, and Dick’s. 

The boy probably stood up a little after you, and while you got lost in your own home (again), he took the normal way and...

Boom. Here you both were, arriving in the kitchen at the same time. 

There was a small silence. Awkward. And...

Your heart tightened. 

Dick was sort of cowering backward in fear. Fear of what ? 

Oh. But of course. 

“He didn’t mean it.” 

Bruce whispered to you many times, before you fell asleep. And the way Dick looked at you, worry in his eyes...He was thinking you were mad at him. And the regret in his pupils was as obvious as that fact. 

“Ice cream ?” 

You ask him. His eyes widen a bit, and you can almost see the gears in his brain trying to piece everything together. You’re...not mad at him ? 

Of course you’re not. You felt sad, and lost, and hurt, yes. But never did you feel any hint of anger. Of course not. 

You take out his favorite flavor from the freezer, and settle a bowl in front of one of the high stool around the counter. 

At that time, Dick was so tiny. A very short little bean. And he’d stay small for a long time, only having a sudden spurt when he was around fifteen. 

He climbed onto the stool, and watched you as you gave him some ice cream and a spoon, and then sat down next to him to eat some as well. 

The silent was slowly turning less awkward. 

Slowly, and unsurely, Dick picked his spoon up and looked at you. And completely missed his mouth, the ice cream spreading on his cheek instead. 

You turn around to look at him, ice cream on his cheek, and he’s clearly embarrassed, as a tint of color slowly rises on his face. 

You don’t really know why, but something snaps in you and you start laughing. And laughing. And laughing. 

Because honestly, the kid missing his mouth as he picked his spoon up full of ice cream, is kinda funny right ? And also, all the tension and stress you felt suddenly broke with this simple, silly thing. 

Unsure at first, Dick just looked at you. But your laughter quickly spread to him, and soon enough, you both were bursting out in laughter. 

Anyone not knowing what happened, would probably think you were both crazy, laughing that hard for no apparent reasons. 

Instinctually, you ruffle his hair and Dick gasps. You really weren’t mad at him ?!

You realized what you did, and slowly, both your laughter subsided. There was a small silence as Dick stared at you, and you stared back, and then : 

“I’m-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean it !” 

He says in a small voice, and he can’t add anything else as you just pick him up and hold him tight against your heart, and you say : 

“I know.” 

And it’s all he needs to realize you’re not really mad at him, and although he messed up and hurt you, right now, you were both on the path of recovery... 

Next morning, Bruce woke up alone in bed, which greatly distressed him as usual (he often woke up first). But a gut feeling was telling him that...

He found you asleep with Dick in his bed, holding him tightly. 

************

After that event, you sat down with him, so you could have a serious talk about the underlining issue this raised. Talk about something important. 

“Little bird, you know I love you, right ?” 

He nods, but still cannot speak quite yet, doesn’t have the energy to. 

“I want you to understand something. Something vital. Are you listening ?” 

He nods again, his eyes fixed on you. And he’s listening, oh he definitely is. 

“It’s ok to be angry. It’s ok to lash out. It’s ok to not be alright. It’s ok to make mistakes.” 

He nods, a little slower than before, and you can see his eyes slowly becoming wetter and wetter. 

“It’s ok. It really is. I’m here. And I love you. Even when you don’t want me around. Even when you push me away. I’m here. And I always will be. Ok ?” 

He nods one last time, unable to hold his tears, and then his little arms latch around you, and he refuses to let go for well over an hour...

Oh. Sweet, sweet boy. 

Your son. 

************

Even now, at age twenty seven, Dick still often think about this day. And the regrets are as burning as they were back then. 

He often thought about it. 

Whenever you did something for him, went out of your way to make him happy, or were just there for him, always...

He’d have a flashback of this day, and feel nothing but regret and anger at his younger self. 

And then you’d read him like an open book. Know exactly what he was thinking, and would slowly shake your head, and say : “I know I often said that, but I will say it till the day I die if I need to :  when you came into my life, you changed everything. And I love all of you little bird. Not just when you’re joking around and smiling. But also when you get angry, and lash out. You are my son. I love all of you. Even when you’re a little bit of a jerk.” and you’d wink at him, making him chuckle and feel a surge of affection toward you. 

Kind of like the ones you’d feel sometimes. A sudden urge to hug your family, to tell them what they mean to you. Both you and Dick understood since a long time that with the life you all lead, you never knew what could happen, and should never waste a “I love you” if you felt like saying it. 

Well, the apple never fall far from the tree ? 

Yes. Because you were his mom. And nothing would ever change his mind on that. Ever. 

JASON 

"Well Jason, you did it you idiot !” 

He says to himself in the mirror, and oh he could’ve punch himself if it was possible. He took his desk chair, and threw it across his bedroom, letting out a scream of frustration. 

He went to his desk, and threw everything that was on it on the floor. He then went to his book shelves and...

There. Your book. The one you wrote for him. 

Jason fell to his knee, holding his head in his hands, crying softly. 

Yes. Yes he did it...He ruined this one chance life gave him to have parents. 

He hurt one of the person that meant the most to him, one of the person he loved the most...His mom. You. 

Because you were his mom, no matter what he told you, in that moment of anger as you scolded him after he did something dangerous during one of his patrol. 

He hadn’t been allowed to go out for long, by then. And Bruce had already scolded him before for the very same thing, so when you did it too, he had enough and...it happened before he could think about it. 

He was angry, about the lack of trust and about the sermons, and his brain tried to hurt without even thinking about it. Triggered by years of living in the streets, where he had to think quick and act right away, and then suffer the consequences. If he wasn’t fast enough, it could be the end of him... 

A gut reaction triggered by years of being all on his own, having to fend for himself. His brain went into overdrive, “hurt” is what it set into motion. 

“You’re not my mom !” 

And that was it...

As he saw your face fell, and his father’s face turn angry, he knew. He knew he messed up. He messed everything up, as usual !

“Jason !” 

Bruce called, but Jason wasn’t about to stop. He ran out of the cave, right to his bedroom. Oh, oh but if only he stayed a little longer. He’d realize that his father wasn’t angry, just hurt as well. 

Hurt to see the woman he loved being hurt. 

Not angry. Ah but being in pain could sometimes look like you are mad ? And Bruce hadn't been able to hide his frown as he heard Jason’s words... 

“Let him be, Bruce.” 

You say in a weak voice. You knew Jason, you knew sometimes he needed to cool down on his own. That he could be impulsive, but always came around. 

Ah. But that time, he needed everything but to be alone. 

Because, as he thought he ruined his one chance at having a real family, he thought... 

“Better to leave before they throw me away !” 

He knew he could never bear to face you and Bruce, as you’d certainly tell him you were “un-adopting” him. Jason saw it happened before. Someone thinking their adopted kid was “too much”, and sending them back. 

It was awful, of course. But it happened. For real. And Jason knew that life could really suck...But her couldn’t bear to face you as you’d send him away. 

Worst, what if you just send Alfred and that was it ?

No. Jason would leave before you could do that. He couldn’t bear it. He couldn’t. 

Filling his backpack with some clothes, and snacks, he opened his window and slid down the gutter all the way to the ground, and then ran away into the night. Tears trailing down behind him, as he left behind the one place in which he ever felt safe, warm, and loved. 

In the meantime, you and Bruce were unaware of that, and slowly falling asleep in each others’ arms... As usual, Bruce was there for you. 

************

“Jason ? I thought I wouldn’t see you anymore after you got adopted by dem fancy fellas. Are you here to get some work ?” 

“No.” 

“Really, why did you come then ?” 

“I didn’t, I’m just passing by.” 

“Nah, don’t believe it. Once a bad boy, always a bad boy !” 

“TAKE IT BACK !” 

As he ran away, Jason went back to a place he thought he never would need to. A few intricate alleys, in the Bowery, under the main city. 

The Bowery, a filthy underground neighborhood, hell on Earth for many. Although things did improve when Batman started his work a few years back. 

“Wow there tiger, relax.” 

Jason came in this specific area for only one thing. Retrieve a few items he left behind, thinking he would never need it again because he was leaving behind this life. 

He had a hideout, not far. In which he hid some materials to survive in the streets. He thought he probably had to go back to stealing cars’ tires...Although maybe he should change it. Thinking of what happened last time he did this hurt his heart. 

He knew that next time he’d get caught stealing tires, the person wouldn’t end up adopting him...Anyway, he didn’t want any other parents but you and Bruce. 

And he messed that up so bad, by being so mean to you ! 

“Listen, it’s not because you got all fancy schmancy that you can talk to me like that. Remember who’s boss in this part of town.” 

Batman did a lot of good to the city, but also, by getting rid of some big players in the “crime business”, he allowed small time thugs to climb up the ladders...It felt, at times, like there always was someone to replace whoever Bruce just put behind bars... 

The man who was talking to Jason, used to be a small time criminal. Turned boss, when the Batman kept arresting all the people above him. Jason used to “work” for him, bringing him watches or jewelry that he’d exchange against cash. 

Damn. He never thought he’d ever see him again... Oh and he definitely didn’t think this through. 

As the new boss, who’s name was Johnny Clancy, told him that he’d forever be a “bad boy”, Jason saw red and...getting mad at a crime boss was a bad idea. 

Before he could even think about an escape plan, Jason was surrounded by dangerous armed men. 

“How dare you talk to me like that ? Mmm. The Waynes adopted you right ? Mmm. They’re loaded. Probably would pay a fortune to get you back uh ? And to think they’re gonna give me a lot of cash to get a little runaway brat back haha. Because that’s what you did right ? You ran away ? As you always did before mm ? You know, I observed you Jason Todd. I saw you run away from anyone getting close. I saw you.” 

Jason’s heart didn’t need anyone to push and squiggle the knife he felt in around some more. He had just lost his family. Did he need more reminder that he always fucked up ?! 

“They won’t give you any money, they don’t want me anymore...” 

But Johnny didn’t believe him, of course. He told two of his thugs to grab the boy, but Jason, by instinct, dropped them to the floor with a few well placed kicks and punches. 

And that was enough to unleash Johnny Clancy’s wrath.

See, he was a new boss. He had to assert dominance. And an eight years old kid making a fool of him and his gang ? That wouldn’t go. 

So what if he had to off a child ? Anything to keep climbing up, and leave the Bowery’s slums. 

************

“Have you seen Jason ?” 

Bruce asks you, a few hours after your fight with him. 

“What ? No, I thought he was with you ?”

“No, he skipped his training and I thought he might be with you, apologizing for what he said yesterday ? You know, sounds like something he would do.” 

“I haven’t seen him since, you know. I thought he was avoiding me...” 

“He would never.” 

“Bruce...” 

“He would never, my love. I know what he said hurt you, but I’m sure he’s regretting it right now. You should go see him, he’s probably sulking in his bedroom. I wouldn’t be surprised if you meet him up the stairs as he comes down to say sorry.” 

“Bruce...” 

Your husband comes to you, and takes your hands in his. 

“You know him. He’s impulsive, and a little abrasive sometimes. But he’s a sweet child. And he regrets his bursts, you know it. Tonight was just tough, we both scolded him, he’s not used to it.” 

“You’re right.” 

“Of course I am, I’m-”

“I swear to God if you say “I’m Batman” I’m going to smack you.” 

Bruce smiles softly at you, glad he managed to at least made the tension go away a little. He pecks your lips quickly, and watches you as you leave to go to your son’s bedroom. 

He was about to go down the Batcave, when you came back, panicked : 

“He’s gone ! Jason’s gone !” 

Ah. Bruce knew that placing a tracker in his children’s molars was a good idea. 

************

“HOW HARD IS IT TO CATCH A FUCKING KID ?!” 

Jason runs as fast as he can, without looking back. He managed to break the line of thugs coming at him, and escape in-between to of them who didn’t pull their guns out quite yet. 

They were shooting at him. With no hesitation. 

Johnny was set on proving he was an unscrupulous boss. To earn everyone’s respect. So what if he had to shoot a kid ? It’d send everyone a message. He’d back off from nothing ! 

Jason turned in an alley and...Damn it ! He must’ve taken a wrong turn at some point, it had been a while, since he roamed the Bowery’s alleyways...

He was faced by a wall, stuck. And they quickly caught up to him. 

“Wooouh, you’re fast kid. And you’re sneaky. Too bad you’re such a brat, I bet you could be a nice addition to our-”

Johnny Clancy never finished his sentence. In fact, he never could properly speak after that night. After getting his jaw broken into a thousand pieces by the Batman’s fist. 

Bruce had come down from nowhere, with...you in his arms ?! 

This was the first time Jason saw you wear the costume he saw a few times in the Batcave. He thought you wore it only to go to the JLA’s watchtower, to hide your identity. Not that you could actually...fight ?! 

And wow, you definitely could hold your own ! You made a few disarming pass, taking the guns away from all the men before they could even react, and letting Bruce finish them off with well placed kicks and punches. 

Oh and that night, the Batman unleashed his rage and unforgiveness full force. How dare they touch his son ?! 

You didn’t have anything to envy from your husband either, however, as you worked through Johnny’s gang rather fast too. 

That night, the both of you exterminated (figure of speech, of course, neither of you ever killed, that was the one big rule...but there were never a rule against breaking a few bones) Johnny Clancy’s gang, who dared to even think of hurting your precious son. 

Jason, holding his backpack tight against him, couldn’t believe his eyes. You two came to save him ? But...why ? 

He messed up. You’d surely not want him around anymore ! 

Once Bruce dropped the last man, you rushed to Jason and before he could utter a sound, took him in your arms. 

“Oh my god, I’m so glad you’re safe baby, I’m so glad you’re...” 

Your voice broke at the end, and you chocked, the emotions too strong and squeezing your throat. 

Jason didn’t understand. And through his surprise, he managed to say : 

“I thought-I thought you’d never want to see me again, and that you wouldn’t want to be my mom anymore.” 

You hold him even tighter, as you feel Bruce get down on his knee and bring the both of you in his arms. 

“Oh sweety, never. Never.” 

You say, not letting go. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry...” 

Your son manage to choke out, before sobbing profusely and holding on to you and Bruce. 

“I’m just glad you’re safe...it’s ok, it’s ok it’s already forgotten...” 

And it was. As soon as you saw that Jason-That your SON, was missing, you forgot he ever told you “you’re not my mom”. You forgot and it truly didn’t matter anymore, as all you cared about was to find him, and make sure he was safe. 

“Jason, oh my little Jason, I’m so glad you’re safe...”

Wether it is a conscious things or not, he returns your embrace fiercely, holding tightly as he looks up at you. It almost feels like he wants to make sure you really are there. And won’t go anywhere. Like everyone else did in his life. 

Jason was tired of losing those close to him. Those he cared about. Sometimes, he’d push them away, by fear of getting attached again just for life to rip them away from him. So he held onto you, as you held him back. 

Tightly against your heart. 

“Mom...” 

This was the day Jason Todd realized something very important : He wasn’t alone anymore. He had parents who loved him, and he loved them back. 

So much. 

And they’d never let him go. Never. 

************

Years later, this love he had for you and Bruce, turned out to be the very reason he became “Red Hood”. 

From that day he told you : “you’re not my real mom !”, he felt like he belonged. Like finally, the people he loved loved him back. Like he was cherished. And then Bruce didn’t avenge him. He let Joker get away. And you let him do it. You, the people he trusted and loved most in the world, betrayed him...

He felt like he wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t worth Bruce breaking his one rule to avenge him. He wasn’t worth it...He didn’t matter enough. 

Jason felt so angry. For years. He wanted to hurt you, to hurt Bruce. To show you what it felt like. What HE felt like. 

But Jason has always been a strong one. You knew it. You told him enough times : “you’re a fighter, my Jason. You went through so much, and always came out of it. You lost a lot on the way my little one, but you never give up. You never give up...” 

You never give up. 

Love. 

It’s what drove him to become the Red Hood. It’s what drove him over the edge. What gave him so much pain. 

Rather, the feeling of not being loved. The thought all you and Bruce said to him, about how much you cared and loved him, was a lie. 

Yes. The thought that you lied about loving him, is what broke him. What made him find every way possible to truly, truly hurt you two.

You never give up. 

He was so angry. But he never could quite give up on his family...that’s why he didn’t stay with the Al’ghuls. That why they didn’t keep him. 

He could never forget you and Bruce. Move on. 

He could never. 

Jason was a strong lad. Strong enough to see past his hate and need of revenge. His pain. His deep trauma. 

It took a while. But the change came from him. He’s the one that gave you another chance. And it allowed him to realize...nothing was a lie.

And you got your son back.

Because you showed him. You showed him nothing was a lie.

When his dad never gave up on him even as he killed more and more people, and even as Jason saw him completely erase people who used to be close from him as soon as they killed once. When you refused to let him go. When Bruce kept going back, even as he knew Jason would fight him and try to hurt him. When you pleaded with him, even when you knew his answer would be the same... 

Jason never gave up. 

But you didn’t either. 

“You’re not my mom”, are words he never meant. Not even once. Not even when he was the “old” Red Hood, the one that killed mercilessly any criminals, and that was trying to be exactly what Batman wasn’t. 

“You’re not my mom”, even at his worst, at a time he suffered greatly, Jason never meant it. He never did. 

And ultimately, it’s this filial love, and the love you and Bruce had for him, that brought him back out of the dark pit the Joker pushed him in...

TIM 

Tim knew that his overly pragmatic mind sometimes could make him sound tactless. That he had trouble, sometimes, expressing himself properly. 

He knew that what he said, although it could be the factual truth, could be perceived as not being very nice... 

He knew, yet sometimes, he couldn’t help himself. 

“But you’re not my mom.” 

He told you that day, as you asked when was the “mother/child day” at school. 

Tim’s school had a day each year, during which every mother would come and do different activities with their kids. You did it with Dick and Jason, and it was always great fun, and amazing bonding time. 

By then, Tim had been with you and Bruce for over a year now. And he did, see you as his mom. However, he was a little too set, at the time, on rules and specifics. In the “mother/child day” rulebook, it “specifically” said that the actual child’s mother had to come, not the nanny or anyone else. 

In Tim’s mind, although he did see you as his mom, he thought the school wouldn’t. For him, the way the rules were written, were clearly stating his birth mother had to come. And the official adoption papers were not processed yet. Those took quite a while. 

He had been living with you for over a year. He called you and Bruce “mom and dad”. He truly considered you two his parents. But the official papers were not done quite yet. So to him, in the eye of the law (be it a silly school rule), you weren’t his mom quite yet. 

So when he said : “but you’re not my mom”, that’s what he meant. Of course, you misunderstood...

How could you guess that Tim was thinking that only his “birth mother” could take him, because officially right now he didn’t have a mom, just “guardians”...

His mother was dead. Has been dead for a while, now. And even if she wasn’t, Tim knew she’d never come at this event...She wasn’t the caring type of mother. Not like you. Which is why it really bummed him out that those rules were so clearly stated like that !

What Tim misunderstood, is that this specific rule had been added to the rulebook because many family would send their nanny, or a big sister, instead of the mom. Because Tim was of course in Gotham’s Academy, full of rich families, in which the moms were very busy...

Which is why such a day existed. Some kids spend quality times with their mom only on this school day. Nowadays, everyone made an effort to come (the fact you appeared, the famed (Y/N) Wayne, a few years back, with Dick, and it made all the papers’ headlines, might’ve influenced others to participate too).

To tell the truth, Tim was very disappointed that you couldn’t go with him, and was considering asking the principle of the school to do an exception to the rule and allow you to go with him.  

He was already fomenting a plan in his head to convince the headmaster to let you come as his mom, and as usual when he was planning things out, he completely disconnected from reality. 

And therefor, didn’t see how your face “closed”, and your eyes turned sad. The boy was typing away on his computer, as if nothing had just happened, as if you didn’t feel your world crumble as he flat out told you you weren’t his mom...

Of course, it was all a misunderstanding. He meant it as “officially”. Not about his actual feelings. 

For some reason, the way he said it so nonchalantly hurts you more than when Dick and Jason yelled at you that you “weren't their mom”. Because at least, in your eldests’ cases, you knew it was in the heat of the moment. 

That it was because they felt frustrated and sad. 

But Tim just told you : “But you’re not my mom.” matter of factly, and moved on. And it hurt. 

It hurt so much, because that boy...You loved that boy, of course. And considered him your son for sure. Part of your heart, now. Part of your family. And he felt so far, right now...so far... 

You left the room and he didn’t even notice. 

Did he really not see you as his mom ? Was he just calling you “mom” to imitate his brothers ? ...You didn’t know, but it hurt. 

It hurt so much. 

************

You found Bruce in his office, doing some paperworks for Wayne Inc. When he saw your face, he immediately smiled, your presence lighting his whole world...But then he saw your expression, and he frowned. 

“What happened ?” 

************

“Mom ? MooOOooom ?” 

Tim had been looking for you for the past hour, but wasn’t able to find you. You weren't in all your favorite places ! Did you leave the Manor without telling him ? It was unlike you. 

Finally, he found you. You were in a room that was rarely used, but which was conveniently close to Bruce’s office, and had a couch. 

Laying on top of your husband, you were fast asleep as Bruce was going through his paperworks, letting you holding onto his waist as he kept working. 

When he saw the boy come in the room, he smiled at him. And it was hard, not to smile at Tim, seeing his own big wide smile. 

Tim was missing a few teeth, that fell not long ago, and it was absolutely the cutest, when he smiled widely. He looked so happy, eyes sparkly and genuine smile. It felt wrong to Bruce, to think that this sweet boy didn’t see you as his mom...

Maybe it was all a misunderstanding ? Wouldn’t be the first time. Although, Bruce knew how sometimes Tim could be brutally honest, and say the facts in a matter of factly way that could be very harsh on the uninitiated. 

Your son was holding a cardboard sheet almost as big as him, and looked very excited about something. He slowly approached you two, and said, whispering, yet the excitement was clear in his voice : 

“Has she been asleep for long, dad ?!” 

He called Bruce dad. Without an hesitation. And it felt so genuine. Like he was relishing in the word rolling off of his tongue. And it was often the case, with Tim. His parents, when they were still alive, never really noticed his presence... 

And sometimes, it could be even worst to have parents who acted as if you didn’t exist, than caring parents who passed away. Bruce realized this. 

“No, she just closed her eyes.” 

Bruce answers, looking at you. And oh he couldn’t possibly know how soft his expressions as as he gazed at your sleeping face. 

“Oh...” 

Tim was clearly disappointed. His shoulders fell down, and he looked on the floor, looking defeated.

“What is it, champ ?” 

“Well, I wanted her to-Oh ! Mom !” 

The rumbling of your husband’s chest as he spoke is what woke you up. Not the actual sound of their voices, just that low vibrations reverberating in his chest. 

You opened one eye, then the second, and was greeted by your youngest son’s face being very close to you. As Tim saw you were waking up, he kneeled down next to the couch, settling his piece of cardboard next to him, and approached you very closely. 

His smile and sweet expression filled your vision. And you felt even more hurt, as you saw him so happy to see you, to know he didn’t really think you were his mom. 

It was clear he cared for you. And loved you, and being with you. But to him...You weren’t his mom. And that was so painful. 

“I got a plan mom, I got a plan !” 

A...Plan ? For what ? You don’t even have time to ask him, and, still a little hazy as you just woke up from a short nap (that you took after crying exhausted you), you raise a little from your husband. 

You exchange a curious look with him, as you see Tim spring to his feet and get a hold of the piece of cardboard that is almost as tall and large as him. 

He turns it around and...

Your heart drops. 

It’s a lot of very detailed drawings, maps and words about...about...

“This is how we’re going to convince the headmaster of my school that you’re really my mom, even if officially you’re not yet !! I thought we could start with logic first, and then go down the path of pathos if he really doesn’t change his mind !” 

What ? Your brain is trying really hard to comprehend what’s happening, although it is starting to put two and two together. 

“The rules say that the mom HAS to be the one who comes, and the way they wrote it suggest that they wouldn’t accept someone who isn’t yet official. But I think we could convince that, in our heart, we’re already an official family, right ?!” 

Tim looks at you, and then at his dad, a little worry in his eyes (what if for them, he wasn’t their son yet because the paperworks weren’t finished and officials quite yet ?!?!). Bruce cannot help but smile, and nods, feeling his heart melt (a rare occurrence). 

And you. You have exactly the reaction he expected you’d have. You sit up, put the cardboard aside, and drag your son into a tight hug that makes him giggle and exclaim : 

“Hahaha mom wait I can’t breaaaathe !! Mom !!” 

But he hugs you back, knowing that this means yes, you do consider him your son already, paperworks or not, and you will probably follow his plan to convince the school to-

“Mom ? Why are you crying ? Mom ?” 

You can’t explain it to him. You feel silly, but also so emotional and touched. You thought he didn’t think of you as his mom. But he did. Oh he did, and was actually worried about technicalities of rules and...So sweet. That boy is so sweet. 

Carefully, Tim dries your tears, and look curiously at his dad, his eyes clearly asking : “Did I do something wrong ?”

You’re still unable to speak, as you hold onto him, and Bruce ruffles his son’s hair saying : 

“She’s just too happy, champ. She’s just too happy.” 

CASSANDRA

"You, not my mom !” 

She screamed. You never heard Cass raised her voice before. And yet, here, she screamed at you. And then closed her bedroom door right on your nose. 

And you felt it in your heart. That specific pain that you wished you’d never feel again. That kind of hurt you wished you’d never feel ever again. 

It happened just liked it did with Dick and Jason. You were “lecturing” her about putting herself in needless danger, and she felt frustrated at the fact you “didn’t trust her”. 

It wasn’t true of course. You did trust her. And you knew she could hold her own. Didn’t mean you wouldn’t worry, and scold her if she really scared you... 

It was pure instinct. You couldn’t stop yourself from telling them off when you felt they went too far. You did it with Bruce too. 

Once, he threw himself in the way of a bullet to save you, and once he recovered enough...Oh you were so mad at him. 

It’s not that you wanted to take that bullet, of course. You knew it was also instinct that made him move to save you. But in truth, you would rather take a thousand bullet than lose any of them. Bruce, or your children. 

And sometimes, it was hard for them to understand this. To get why you were so worried, when you accepted fully their night activities. 

Why you monitored the batcomputer, if it was to scold them when they put themselves in danger ? 

Ah but they didn’t understand that you only got “mad” when they put themselves in NEEDLESS danger. Pushing themselves too far that one night, being careless with something, ignoring their own safety to finish a task... 

You couldn’t help but be afraid. And your fear turned into you scolding them. And sometimes, on each sides, things boiled and...

“You, not my mom !” 

The meaning was clear. As Cass slammed her door right in your face, you knew not to push it further, not to tell her anything more. 

Maybe you should’ve ? Should’ve open her door, and continue lecturing her so she’d understand her life was valuable ? 

Cass put herself in danger more than any other member of your family, because she was raised as a weapon and thought of herself as an “expendable”. You weren’t mad at her for this, of course not (but oh, David Cain probably should never cross your path, it wasn’t pretty, when you were truly angry). 

You were just worried. And unfortunately, being a parent was complicated and sometimes, your worry turned a little overbearing for your kids. 

This was a mistake every normal caring parents made. Wanting what was best for their children, sometimes not realizing they’re going too far. And you ? Your family wasn’t normal. 

Your children were vigilantes. Your worries were tuned up to the max.  

Being a parent was hard. And sometimes, both you and your kids were frustrated. It happened. In any family. 

It was resolved rather fast, most of the time. A little conversation, understanding and indulgence, and boom. Sorted. 

However, there were times when things would go a little too far. Wether because one of you was tired, or didn’t feel well etc etc...

Tonight, was such a time. 

“You, not my mom !” 

Cass didn’t even register what she said. She was just mad and frustrated, and said the first thing that came into her mind. Her hand slammed the door shut before she could even think about it. 

And here you were. In the corridor. In front of your daughter’s door. 

Hurt. And feeling as devastated as you did when her brothers told you the same thing. You would think, after a few times of this happening, it’d be easier, right ? Well. No. It wasn’t. It really wasn’t. 

As usual in those instances, you went to seek comfort in the arms of your husband. 

************

Cassandra didn’t feel ok. 

In fact, she felt absolutely terrible. 

She couldn’t even remember the last time she felt that bad. 

When she went to look for you and apologize for her behavior, she found you in her dad’s arms, crying, and it made her run away...

She couldn’t face you, knowing she truly hurt you like that. 

The worst thing is, she knew she would hurt you by saying those words. Yet she still did it. It was as if she couldn’t control herself. It was like an ugly force took over her, and made her say those words. 

But she knew. She knew she’s the one who ultimately decided to say them. She’s the one that pronounced them. Under the anger. 

Anger. 

The ugly force. 

She turned around in her bed, holding onto the plush toy you gave her shortly after her arrival. You said “every child should have one” and that this one made you think of her. 

It was a fox with bright colors. And it still smelled like you. 

She was about to fall asleep, when she heard a knock on her door. 

“Can we come in ?” 

It was her older brothers. 

Dick, Jason and Tim. 

It was rare, to have them all in the same place nowadays, what with how busy they all were. Dick with Bludhäven, Jason with the gods only knew what really (the gods, and you and Bruce...but sshhh, that’s a secret), and Tim with college applications. 

So Cass immediately understood that they heard about the fight she had with their mom. 

And she felt a rush of shame come over her. She felt sad too, because maybe they’d be mad at her ?

Cassandra didn’t think she could bear to break your heart, and have her precious brothers mad at her all in the same day. 

She almost told them to leave. But she didn’t have the strength. 

They surrounded her, and their presence was so...soothing. 

And then they spoke. They each told her the story of the time they told their mom those few dreaded words. 

“You’re not my real mom !” 

They told her how awful they felt, and how they knew they hurt their mom. They told her that...well, they did have the best mom ever. 

You never held any grudge. Ever. Especially not against your own family. 

You never even mentioned again the fact they told you this awful thing, you never even mentioned once this, under any circumstances. 

Her brothers stayed with her for hours, talking about their feelings on the matter. Telling her it happened. That everyone wasn’t always on their best behavior...

It was hard, for Cass, to not be “good”. She did so many awful things when her biological father raised her to be a weapon, she felt like she had to catch up so much on those years of “badness”. 

She often felt like she was evil, and could never caught up to everything. Like she was doomed, and could never become good. 

On that, Jason told her she was wrong. That everyone could change, and no one was born truly evil. Environment, and the way you’re raised, matter. And what she did...wasn’t her fault. She was forced to. If she really enjoyed doing this she’d never become a Batgirl. She would never be part of this family. 

She often felt like she was a bad daughter. 

On that, Dick told her she was wrong. He too, felt like a bad son, when he “replaced” his parents with you and Bruce. He too, felt like a bad son when he would get so mad while you would do anything to make him happy. He too, felt like a bad son...on so many occasions. But he grew. And thanks to you mainly, he realized he was just human. Mistakes are human. And it’s not being a bad son, to sometimes feel so hurt that you lash out. That your trauma are so strong, things sometimes are tough. 

She often felt like she couldn’t fit in, and would never fit in. 

On that, Tim told her she was wrong. Him too, felt too different. He already had parents, they were alive, he just wanted to help, he didn’t have any friends...But in this family. In this family, everyone fitted in. Because you made it so. Bruce made it saw. You both accepted any flaws, and differences your kids might have. You loved them unconditionally, they all knew that by now. 

And Cass...Cass didn’t want to hurt you. 

They knew that, too.

It was an accident. In the heat of the moment. She didn’t mean it. Of course, you are her mom. Of course...

It felt good, to have her brothers there for her, when you couldn’t be. 

************

Later that night, after her brothers left, Cass slowly exits her room and take the known way to yours and Bruce’s. 

You are both there, and she knows her dad stayed because you felt bad. He always stayed with you, when you were feeling down. And vice versa.

Cass always told herself that, later, if she ever found a significant other, she’d want her and them to have the same kind of relationships than you. You and Bruce set up a rather high standard for whoever would come into her life. 

But that was another story. For now, she was opening the door slowly, scared of waking you up. But you were awake. 

Bruce was asleep, deeply. As usual when he felt your warmth against him. But you were not. Cass could see you slowly and absentmindedly caress your husband’s hair. It was soothing to both of you. His silky smooth dark hair were soft in between your fingers, and helped you get your mind off of the pain and focus on the sensation, while for him...Well, it put him asleep, when you did that. 

The door creaked a little, and you abruptly turned your head towards it, ready to fight and...You instantly recognize your daughter, even in the dark of the room. 

She doesn’t need to talk. You manage to roll over Bruce, who then by instinct roll too, and therefor you create a little spot for your daughter to climb in bed with you. 

You turn around in Bruce’s arms, and slowly wrap them around your middle, instead of your shoulders. You turn towards Cass, your back against Bruce’s chest, and tap the small spot you managed to create next to you. 

Cass understands, and climbs in, facing you. She lays her head on her arms, as you do the same. And then she mouthes : 

“Sorry mom...” 

And that’s all you needed. You gesture for your daughter to cuddle up close, and she does. By instinct, Bruce lets go one arm off of you, and grabs his kid to bring her closer. He is still asleep, but it wouldn’t surprise anyone that his subconscious holds onto the two most important women in his life like so. 

And there she is. Cass feels safe. And warm. And she hears your heart beat softly. And she knows it partly beats for her. 

And partly for Bruce. And partly for Dick. And partly for Jason. And Tim. And Damian. And Duke. And Alfred. 

It beats for your family. 

For her family.

Family. 

She has a family. 

And you are her mom. 

Her biological father never hugged her, never told her everything was going to be alright, never... 

Cass never felt safe and warm. 

Like she did, right now, held by both you and Bruce. 

“Family...”

She whispers, as she slowly falls asleep. And you’re the only mom she ever wants to have. You are, her real mom. Always have been, always will be. 

DAMIAN��

Damian didn’t really think this was a big deal, at first. 

Just like his father, he often made the mistake to think that people around him will simply understand his true meaning. 

When he told you : “You’re not even my real mom !”, he obviously didn’t mean it. He was angry because you told him he couldn’t go out on patrol for a few days, as he was grounded for skipping school and going to work on cases instead. 

“But school is boring, I already know everything ??” 

“It’s the principle of it, Damian. You can’t just do what you want whenever you want, this is not how it works. I don’t feel like we’re extremely strict parents, so when you betray our trusts like that, it has consequences.”

Bruce kept out of the argument, ready to jump in however if you needed him to affirm  that yes, actions have consequences and although you two are pretty lax with your son on many fronts, he still has to listen. You and Bruce made clear rules when you first adopted Dick, because you realized your lifestyle was anything but normal, but it didn’t mean your children could just do anything they wanted. 

Neither of you wanted them to turn into privileged little brats. Or to think they were above everything. And you were right, by skipping school so much, and lying about it, Damian did betray your trust. 

Understanding actions had consequences was a big step that took a while, with Damian. Unfortunately, he grew up in an environment that indeed taught him he could do whatever he wanted, no matter if he hurt people on the way... 

Unlearning all this, was tough. And you understood that. Which is why you let things go a lot, with him, and only slowly told him about things. Gradually teaching him about your values and principles. 

However sometimes, like in this case, you needed to be firm and strict, because otherwise he’d just keep doing it knowing it had no bad consequences, and you didn’t want him to simply not go to school anymore...School was important for his social development, you realized it as he made friends and...

And simply, an eleven years old kid couldn’t just roam around all day as he saw fit. That’s it. And so here you were, trying to explain this to him. And that’s when he said it. 

He scrunched up his nose like he always did when he was angry, and then, turning his head away from you, throwing his Robin boots at the back of the cave. 

“You can’t tell me what to do, you’re not even my real mom !” 

And then he bolted out of the Batcave, leaving you behind, with a broken heart and feeling guilty...What if he hates you, because you were too harsh on him ? 

Bruce, that night, did not go out on patrol either, and stayed with you. Of course, he did. 

************

The fact he still listened to you and didn’t go out, made him thought you knew he was just angry and didn’t mean a word of it. 

To him, it was so obvious he thought of you as his mom, and that he said this just because he wanted to have the last word, that he honestly didn’t think much of it. 

Sure he was frustrated and angry, just like any kid was when their parents said : “no” to them. But he didn't mean it... 

He didn’t really see you of the entire day. Finally, he decided to go see his father to ask him what was up. 

“Father ?”

“Yes ?”

“Is-is mom ok ?”

“Well, what do you think ?” 

“She doesn’t seem ok.” 

“Do you know why ?” 

“Did you do something to upset her ?” 

Normally, Bruce would feel vex at this statement. What, did he really do things to upset you that often ? Yes and now. Sometimes,  he would get on your nerve, and vice versa. It happened, in relationships.

But it was never anything major. Not anymore at least. Because now, when he had his “dark days” and could be a total jerk, you knew how to handle him. You knew not to take his bullshit. 

Yes. Normally, Bruce would pout like a child, at the fact his son thought that his mom was feeling down because of him. But not today. No. 

Because he knew that what made you sad, was something important.

Unfortunately, Damian inherited from him his bad habit of thinking others will understand his meaning. 

Like, when he tried to push you away at first so you wouldn't get involved in his crazy life, what he really wanted was for you to get closer...Or when he told you that he was fine at times, all he wanted was for you to hold him and take care of him etc etc...The first time he told you “I love you”, wasn’t with words, but by not going on patrol one night, to stay with you. And he thought you’d immediately understand that he truly loved you...Truth was, it wasn’t as obvious to you (or anyone really) than it was for him. 

And Damian had the same problem. Doing things that he thought would obviously tell his meaning, his real feelings, when really...No one but him would get it. 

Although you became quite good at deciphering your husband’s true intentions, you could still misinterpret things sometimes. 

And yesterday night, when you grounded your son and tried to teach him a life lesson...You definitely didn’t see that he didn’t mean what he said and just wanted the last word. For you, he was seriously meaning it. And that’s why you were avoiding him a little, because it was too hard to...to... 

Damian’s words truly hurt you. You often were scared he could never see you as his mom (even if he did call you mom now and clearly cared for you) because of how he grew up. You’d never give up on him, of course, but it didn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt when he pushed you away or pretended to not care... 

Damian thought it was obvious, that his actions actually reflected how much you meant to him. That without you, he’d be lost and honestly wouldn’t want to live in a world where you weren’t. 

But it wasn’t obvious. 

Bruce sighed, and then smiled : 

“Since when is she acting odd ?” 

“This morning. She didn’t kiss me goodbye when she went to work !”

It felt like such a serious issue to your boy, in that instant, that Bruce wished you were there to see his reaction. You’d instantly know he didn’t mean it, when he said you weren’t his mom... 

But you couldn’t quite face him. You didn’t really avoid him or try to hurt him by not saying goodbye. Of course not, you were an adult, and you definitely knew that doing to others what was done to you is pointless, and mean. And why hurt someone the same way they hurt you ? You’re no better than them uh... 

“Can you think of anything that might’ve upset her ?” 

“I spilled my milk a little, but cleaned it after. I didn’t let Alfred do it like last time. I woke up a minute late, too. Jason hasn’t called in two days, but he was there yesterday afternoon. Dick said she messed up her pumpkin soup but he was just joking and she knows. Tim fell asleep at the breakfast table. You clinging to her this morning apparently made her late, I heard Alfred say it. Um...Cass um...Cass didn’t do anything bad really...None of those things sound like it would upset her though ! She really looked sad this morning, not like herself at all !” 

Bruce couldn’t help but smile. It was pretty cute, how Damian often acted as if he didn’t care about anything, yet no details would ever go past him. Especially not when it came to his family. He always noticed, when one of them felt down in any way, and tried to help (in his own way). 

Hell, he probably woke Tim up and told him to sleep more and take care of himself. Called Jason and told him to call his mom. Scolded Dick to not make this kind of jokes again. 

This was just the Damian that was privy only to them. A sweet child, who unfortunately often had trouble expressing his true feelings. 

Just like his father. 

Damian would often brag about his siblings, and how awesome they were, to his friends (notably to Jon, who didn’t have any siblings). But he’d never tell them right in front of their face. 

Bruce tried to help Damian see what was wrong, and said : 

“What about last night ?” 

“Ugh ? What about last n-OH !” 

Damian replayed the events in his head, and remembered his anger and frustration. But most importantly...What he told his mom. 

“I have to find mom ! Where is she ?!” 

Damian looked absolutely panicked, which was quite unlike him. Bruce answered : 

“She’s at work, she had a meeting with her editor. She should be back soon, though.” 

And on that note, Damian ran out to do god knew what, as Bruce shook his head and...Well, he just knew things would turn out alright. 

************

Alfred almost fainted, when he saw Damian tear off his beautiful flowers from his garden. He almost ran out, and had a very “get off my lawn !” moment...up until he realized that the boy was probably doing this for a reason. 

Oh. Oh his poor lilies.  

Hopefully, this really was for a good reason. A very good one. One so good, that it would stop him from strangling his grandkid, hopefully...

************

When you came home, Damian was waiting for you at the front door. He had a bunch of lilies in his hands (that you were pretty sure were from Alfred’s precious garden) and he looked absolutely frantic. 

He ran to you, almost threw the flowers in your arms, and yelled : 

“I’M SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN IT !! YOU ARE MY REAL MOM ! I WAS JUST ANGRY ! I’M SORRY !!” 

You were a little confused as to why he was yelling, but before you could continue he took a drawing out of his pocket and added : 

“THIS IS A DRAWING OF YOU ! I MADE IT FOR YOU !! YOU ARE MY MOM ! YOU REALLY ARE ! PLEASE FORGIVE ME !! I’M SORRY !! DO NOT BE MAD AT ME !!” 

Still confused as to why he was screaming, you bend down to look at him eye level, settled the flowers on the floor, and said : 

“It’s ok Damian. It’s ok. We all get frustrated sometimes...I won’t lie and say it didn’t hurt, but it’s ok. It happens.” 

Damian’s face showed great relief, and he leaped into your arms, yelling : 

“I LOVE YOU !!” 

You winced as he screamed in your ear, and said : 

“Why are you yelling, little one ?” 

Damian took a step back from you and said : 

“BECAUSE I HAVE TROUBLE EXPRESSING MYSELF AND JASON TOLD ME THAT SAYING THINGS IN AN AGGRESSIVE WAY MIGHT HELP !! AND HE’S RIGHT !! I LOVE YOU !!”

Damian told you he loved you before, in certain moments. When he got really hurt, when you were really hurt, if he felt really sad...It was always a moment full of emotions. And it was still rather hard for him to say the words. 

It didn’t really surprise you that Jason would have such a technique. Yelling his feelings. Yep. Sounds like him alright. And it did seem like it worked for his little brother too. 

Only you and your close family would know, because you were the only ones to truly know him, but those two were more similar than others would think. And it wasn’t because they already killed before. Oh no. On the contrary. 

“I love you too, my little one...” 

You say, as he goes back for another hug, clearly relieved you’re not mad at him. From this day on, he swore to himself that he would really try to tell others’ what he truly felt, even if it meant yelling it at them. Because other wise...otherwise it’d create this sort of terrible situations, in which his mom thought he didn’t think of her as his mom ! 

He couldn’t have it, anymore. Many “I LOVE YOU !!” were heard in the Manor, from that point on. 

DUKE 

“You know you can tell me anything, right ?” 

Duke doesn’t know why this time, this made him snap. 

Today was the anniversary of when his parents got “jokerize”, it had been two years already...And not one step closer to cure them ! He was so frustrated, sad, and lost. And you noticed. 

Duke tend to try to keep things inside. Not that he didn’t want to bother anyone, more like he just thought he HAD to handle things himself. Like it would make him stronger, and therefor, he could protect those he cares about. 

He could protect them, unlike when he could do nothing but watch as his parents fell into madness...He couldn’t bear the thought of this happening to you, Bruce, or any member of this family ! Not again. 

He couldn’t bear it...

“You’re not even my mom ! Stop acting like you are !” 

Are the words he heard himself scream at you as you asked him if everything was ok, and if he needed to talk. As you were caring, once again, and he just couldn’t...he couldn’t stand it ! Not today.

Not today. 

He immediately saw on your face the way you shut down, and took one step behind. The way your face “closed”, and as you said : “I understand.” and left the room, your body stiff and your face inexpressive (which was very unlike you), Duke felt it. 

The guilt. 

Right away.

When those dreaded words were said by all your other kids, they were young. They were all under the age of ten, and the immediate consequences of their actions didn’t truly registered. 

But Duke. 

Duke was almost eighteen. And he knew. He knew he hurt you. 

He felt the need to run after you and apologized, but there was something stopping him. 

After all, it was true right, you weren’t his mom ! His mom was still alive, and she could be cured one day ! HE ALREADY HAVE A MOM ! 

So what if you always cooked him his favorite meal, or knew exactly what his favorite food was ? So what if you would go out of your way to grab his favorite burger from his favorite joints when you knew he felt down ? 

So what, if you were always there when he was sad ? Cheering him up with comfort food, kind words, and just your presence ? 

So what if you knew exactly what would make him feel better, which movie to put on to put a smile on his face ? 

So what, if you spend entire night right by his bedside when he got really hurt, or when he was sick ? 

So what if you’d listen to him at any time of the day or night, and always took time to give him your thoughts on the matter, and truly, truly listen to what he was saying instead of waiting for your turn to speak ? 

So what if you’d make him laugh, smile, feel loved, even as he felt so alone and isolated, especially after he discovered his powers ? 

So what if you never made him feel like he was different because of it ? 

So what if you opened your house’s door without a second thought for this unknown teenager who was also a meta ?!

So what...so what...so what if you obviously cared a lot, and if you...if you... 

He already had a mom. And she might get better one day. 

He couldn’t have two moms. 

...

...

Right ? 

What would happen when his parents would be cured ? Forget all his feelings for the Waynes ? So it’d be easier to pretend he wasn’t part of the family, right ? 

It would be easier. 

Yes. 

But it was too late. 

It was too late... 

He ran after you. Caught up with you in the corridor. Tears in his eyes, he said : 

“I’m sorry, please don’t go...”

And fell into your arms. Almost eighteen years old, yes, but still needed the support of a mother. Of his mother. 

And you were there. You’d always be there, no matter what happened in the future. And he needed you, especially in that moment of frustration, where he really missed his parents, and was starting to lose hope to ever find a cure... 

And you were there.

Who ever made a rule that you could have only one mom anyway, right ?

BRUCE 

They did tell him “you’re not my dad !” too. And for him, it was as terrible as for you. If not worst, on certain aspect. Especially since he had a hard times truly expressing his feelings more often than not. 

He knows how devastating it can feel. He knows it even more, because not only did he feel it as they told him “you’re not my dad !”, but he also felt it as he told Alfred “you’re not my dad !”. He knew the feelings from both sides. 

It enhanced everything. 

Of course, in general, Bruce always felt things more than anyone else around him. He was born like that. Hypersensitive. That’s why he worked so much on hiding his true feelings, and appearing detached and cold. 

It’s much easier, than to always being overemotional. Of course, it didn’t mean he felt nothing. On the contrary, he felt everything. He was just better, nowadays, at pretending he was okay. At pretending he didn’t care. 

Ah. But you existed. 

You. 

The only person that could always see through his bullshit, and know when he was lying and fake smiling. 

Between the two of you, there has always been something. Even before you were together. It was an irrational and irresistible attraction. 

An unbreakable bond. Always supporting each others. 

You have no idea how you’d live without him. And he couldn’t even fathom a world without you. It’s a world he wouldn’t like very much...  

Even during the worst times, and oh you went through a lot together, you knew at least...at least you’d have warm arms to fall asleep in. At least, you’d have each others. 

Bruce had known pain so strong he sometimes wished death would just take him away. And then you came in. Ready to put up with his shit, and to not give up on him even when he gave you every reason to. 

And oh, oh he gave you back everything times a thousand. You knew he’d never let you fall. Not alone. 

Whenever something hurtful as your children telling you two you weren’t their real parents happened...It’s when you truly realized how vital you were to each others. 

When you fell, Bruce was there to catch you. 

When he fell, you were there to catch him. 

Better to fall together, than to stand alone. 

__________________________________________________

And here we are :). I hope you liked it ? Don’t hesitate to leave a little feedback and reblog if you want to ^^. I’m a little afraid I disappointed y’all for some reasons haha. I couldn’t explain. Self-confidence crisis hahaha. I finished writing that late, and exhausted after a hard week, maybe it plays into account ? Anyway, I really do hope you enjoyed your time reading this :). And thanks for reading, of course ^^.