#she just let's me do whatever i want

[iztea]

commission for @/ nikkigogol 💣

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[taxinealkaloids]

kill your darling, it's just that easy!

[autisticaradiamegido]

day 129

so was anybody going to tell me @adorkastock had their own random pose generator now or was i just supposed to find that out on my own

[prismaticsaltedink]

Scoria and Sakura are best friends! It's so cute when I see the things they do together, and it makes me so beyond happy that they both came to live with me so that they could share their lives with each other. They absolutely insist on it, and does so much good for the other.

I can't imagine how else they could have found happiness if things hadn't worked out exactly as they did. Scoria has basically been Sakura's "emotional support snake" while she worked through things from her past I'll never fully know that caused her a lot of issues with panic and fear. Sakura knows this too, and looks out for her sister, the only one she truly trusts and feels completely safe with.

The moment they wake up they both want each other to snuggle and play with. Scoria loves to be affectionate with both me and her sister who seems to have not had this earlier in her life- but Scoria is showing her how nice it is not only directly but demonstrating with me and Sakura also trying, copying what she has seen her sister do.

Sometimes when one goes to check on the other they'll join in on... I'm not even sure what they were doing. But they had a good time while taking a mandated union break from digging tunnels for the isopods.

So happy I get to share in the adventures of these two best friends! It makes me so happy to see them living their best lives together, and being beyond content snuggled together with their found family.

[beeduoo]

wonderful

[imjustavenuxwithaboomerang]

zombies + text posts (pt 3)

(1 2)

[fallowtail]

controversial take here but i really hope hetty is on her absolute worst nastygirl/comedic clown behavior in s4 to push back against the poor little meow meow woobification curse shes been experiencing since holes because i am tired

[bacchuschucklefuck]

love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest

[raccoonnutella13]

its so weird to me personally that some people think that it doesnt make sense for craig to be nice to wildernessa but still hate jason (up until scout guest), but to me the worst thing wildernessa has done is say that craig doesnt know shit about nature vs jason whos basically like "ok tony now hit the second tower" for the majority of his screentime, and people wonder why craig doesnt trust him most of the time huh

[slimeranch7]

How do you feel about a/b/o forced marriage/arranged marriage with female characters? If you like the idea, which of the Genshin characters would you like to go with that route? I felt like Eula(if she had any privileges of her family), Ayaka and Ninguang would be interested. It’s really interesting

ABO is ok at best by itself. But top that with forced marriage and it becomes a gourmet meal 🤤

- headcanons w/ eula, ayaka, ningguang and Kokomi (in that order)

Mild dead dove content below the cut!!

-----

Eula, before defecting from her family, would absolutely abuse her privilege and power as a Lawrence member to 'steer' you into her path. She would be ruthless in eradicating her contenders with any means possible. She would be persistent in pursuing you. She is educated, trained, resourceful and practical, seeking to use any means available to her to forcefully garner your interest.

Unlike the rest of your potential interests, she has no more reputation left to spare, so anything goes. Even underhanded murder isn't off the table. If she has to play the villain, saving you from those disgusting alphas, she would cultivate all that negativity and turn it into productivity. You don't need to understand her motive, because no one does but herself, and she's already gotten used to that. But you're not getting away from her, and she makes that abundantly clear when she corners you at a fancy ball, silent and imposing, but ready to waltz with your hands in hers- whether you like it or not.

-----

Ayaka would be so much more covert in pursuing your interest. It would start of far more innocent at first- extra make-up, inviting you for little dates, catering to your tastes whenever you visit the Kamisato estate. Even going so far as to rigorously studying your usual schedule and planning ahead for deviances when you begin to show signs of interest in someone that isn't her.

That's when it gets more intense. Her hands become so much colder and rigid holding yours. Her gentle disposition stays unwavering, and yet her gaze doesn't feel present. She's a tad bit more pushy when it comes to inviting you over to her home for tea and dango. Sweet little Ayaka is a gentle summer breeze, a generous breath of fresh air, but when winter comes-if you aren't prepared- the icy storms can entrap you in a deadly ballad.

-----

Ningguang is purposeful and upfront when she confronts you. At first, you can be in it for mora. Your life starts humble, but suddenly you're filthy rich and a hundred feet off the air, reigning over the city of Liyue. You get to enjoy all the fine food and wine imported from whichever region you ask for. Your clothes are silky smooth, jewelry sparkling, and you haven't seen the same dress twice. Ningguang is generous with her mora, but she is certainly not generous with her expectations from you. You can't leave the jade chamber. The only woman you can look at is her- not even her secretaries- and if you so much as glance up by mistake, you're punished and locked in solitary confinement until you 'understand who you belong to'. Your heats cannot be suppressed- she will take care of it for you in its entirety.

If- when you are expecting, she becomes even more controlling. Your diet and exercise become closely monitored by specialists (whom you cannot spare a glance at). You don't even get to choose your clothes anymore. You are an object of her affection. A mate, for her to love and cherish, but not to share. After all, the Tianquan likes to keep her private and work life separate.

-----

An honourable mention that I think would absolutely take advantage of her position to snag a little submissive and breedable cutie off the streets for themselves:

Kokomi: a stressed out (and admittedly pent up) tactician enthusiast turned war general and divine priestess of Watatsumi actually gets pressured into finding a mate (real; not click bait). She kind of just picks and chooses some random bloke minding their own business from the side and it happens to be you. You can't really say no, not in front of everyone, not in front of the divine priestess, so like, you're just forced to go along, back into the shrine with her.

You grow on her a bit, and eventually she kind of just uses you as a crash pillow after a long day of being a leader and doing leader things. It's not terrible- still technically forced, but she's open for suggestions on how to be a better, more communicative mate. A little awkward and too formal to be a spouse, but she eventually loosens up enough for comfortable conversations over dinner. Most of it is about your day, and the rest is just her being a nerd about war strategies, and stuff. Perhaps it's best you let her grow on you, too.

[puppyeared]

i feel like. theres designing a character with certain themes and motifs in mind, and then theres making a gijinka for the water bottle on my nightstand

[vickyvicarious]

I love the music this episode. So foreboding for the Demeter section, and then so light and charming for Mina.

Speaking of Mina, I love how she opens with Lucy "looking sweeter and lovelier than ever" - because obviously, Lucy looking sweet and lovely at all times is a given, she's just more so currently. ^_^ She has some lovely descriptions, reminiscent of Jonathan - she too is painting a word-picture for him to possibly read later. But it soon diverts into history and legend and spookiness, because of course it does, she enjoys that stuff. ...actually, graveyards being treated almost like public parks wasn't that uncommon at the time I think, but it's still fun and her interest in spooky stories is apparent elsewhere in the entry too. I love how Mina is planning to come back here and work often: it's that preparation for the future again. She's so eager to get started, and possibly in a little bit of the 'I'm going to get so much done this summer' phase, though I have way more faith in her ability to stick to the plan than my own. But she really is obviously excited to build up her skills (presumably working on typing and stenography) and I love how you can really feel her effort (and her enjoyment in the effort) to be like lady journalists here. All those descriptions and interviewing Mr. Swales...

Speaking of Mr. Swales, he sounds so sweet. Lovable grandpa acquired; well done Mina!

[bitchthefuck1]

you know what, I actually will talk about this because it's bothering me. The issue with focussing so heavily on syd and carmy's potential for a romantic relationship isn't that there's something inherently unintellectual about romance or whatever, it's that a lot of people seem incapable of doing that without immediately flattening the story and ignoring or intentionally misreading any and all nuance for the sake of that romance. Every scene suddenly becomes about how it impacts their relationship, every analysis is done through a romantic lens, every frame or line of dialogue becomes about finding some easter egg or hint that "proves" these people should start dating. Their dynamic is absolutely a fundamental part of this show, but if you can only see it as a will-they-won't-they, you miss so much of what the story is actually trying to say with these two.

There are good versions of this story where their relationship is romantic and there are good versions of this story where it isn't, but as soon as you decide them being together is "the point," you lose the ability to actually judge the story for what it is, not what you want it to be.

[why-the-heck-not]

feeling very Devil Wears Prada "florals? for spring? groundbreaking" seeing the "Taylor's album has emotional range!! No other artist could ever!!!"-posts as if that's not also what every other (good) artist is doing, as if conveying bunch of emotions isn't the whole main part of the job

(emotions? in music??? groundbreaking)

[rapidhighway]

stressed

I have to fight family again