#she just let's me do whatever i want

[iztea]

commission for @/ nikkigogol 💣

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[taxinealkaloids]

kill your darling, it's just that easy!

[dellamortethelesser]

my moots are caterina posting so i wanna post. is this a safe space for me to post about caterina dellamorte without having to give a caveat and acknowledge that child abuse is bad. we know child abuse is bad this is a fictional character. the crows all kill people for money let's be so for real.

anyways i love that there tends to be two schools of thought about her: that she treats the boys the way she does because she did the same thing to her kids and they still failed or she was softer on her kids and she won't make the same mistake this time. it's really juicy either way.

she HELD ON to the position of first talon DESPITE that tragedy happening. she's a massively resilient, political, and intelligent woman and can we really say that what she did DIDN'T properly prepare lucanis and illario for the world of assassins? they're both filling valuable niches (lucanis specifically being trained to kill mages, illario being so good with people and politically savvy) that it gives them more worth being alive than dead if they get caught. WHICH LUCANIS DID. AND THEY DIDN'T KILL HIM.

they don't call her 'nonna' but teia does which is also. doing something insane to my head. whatever. im always thinking about her btw you literally cannot remove her from the dynamic about Why Things Are The Way They Are in the Dellamorte household. which is why i get a little frustrated when i see 300 headcanons on keeping my blorbo beebus away from lucanis... like she probably has a reason for that beyond mean old lady. to me.

she can't take responsibility for illario's fate bc she still loves him and makes lucanis do it by making him first talon. oh my poor boy.

[citrusai]

taash said "they were doing it" and people ran with the interpretation of an npc that doesn't know solas or the history of the elvhenan even when bellara interjected and said, no, that's not right. that's not how it was for the elvhenan. they formed bonds before they had physical bodies. and people ran to doompost or create weird anti-solavellan shit even though mythal & solas refer to each other as old friends and when she releases him there is no tenderness or love in it. it is the act of unchaining a dog from his post, the stepping down of a general. but to each their own ig.

[camellcat]

I find it so fun how much drusilla revels in being a demon compared to spike who just sorta... is. he likes being a vampire, let's not get that twisted! but one of my favourite lines in the entire show is drusilla going "oh well I'm not a person see" in lie to me and I don't know if spike has like any lines like that? I mean maybe little jokes and snips here and there but drusilla knows she's not human and won't even entertain the idea of being treated as such

[autisticaradiamegido]

day 129

so was anybody going to tell me @adorkastock had their own random pose generator now or was i just supposed to find that out on my own

[justaz]

Post s2, Jinx travels the world (what’s the name?? Runeterra?? Right?) and cons her way into free rooms and food by claiming her name is Caitlyn Kiramman. Look me in the eye and tell me I’m wrong. Piltover became a global trading post and the Kirammans were already a wealthy and renowned family before. Being Jayce’s sponsor and Piltover being put on the map bc of Hextech and Caitlyn being dictator leader of Piltover for some time also made her name carry a bit of weight. But no one’s really seen her??? All they know is she’s pretty and has blue hair. Jinx just plays the dead mom card when being questioned (“I just had to see some of the world…as my mother always talked about when she was still alive…😔”) and people just let her be and give her what she wants.

Stories of the odd Kiramman girl spreads all the way back to Piltover and people make jokes at Caitlyn and Vi and they’re just like “???? Wtf are you talking about??” And then people have to explain and that’s how Vi finds out her sister is still alive, bc she’s shitting all over the Kiramman name by just. Being her. And pretending to be Caitlyn. While being herself. “Caitlyn Kiramman” isn’t as fearsome as it was before anymore bc now people just associate the name with Jinx and her chaos rather that the Caitlyn Kiramman

[prismaticsaltedink]

Scoria and Sakura are best friends! It's so cute when I see the things they do together, and it makes me so beyond happy that they both came to live with me so that they could share their lives with each other. They absolutely insist on it, and does so much good for the other.

I can't imagine how else they could have found happiness if things hadn't worked out exactly as they did. Scoria has basically been Sakura's "emotional support snake" while she worked through things from her past I'll never fully know that caused her a lot of issues with panic and fear. Sakura knows this too, and looks out for her sister, the only one she truly trusts and feels completely safe with.

The moment they wake up they both want each other to snuggle and play with. Scoria loves to be affectionate with both me and her sister who seems to have not had this earlier in her life- but Scoria is showing her how nice it is not only directly but demonstrating with me and Sakura also trying, copying what she has seen her sister do.

Sometimes when one goes to check on the other they'll join in on... I'm not even sure what they were doing. But they had a good time while taking a mandated union break from digging tunnels for the isopods.

So happy I get to share in the adventures of these two best friends! It makes me so happy to see them living their best lives together, and being beyond content snuggled together with their found family.

[imjustavenuxwithaboomerang]

zombies + text posts (pt 3)

(1 2)

[beeduoo]

wonderful

[fallowtail]

controversial take here but i really hope hetty is on her absolute worst nastygirl/comedic clown behavior in s4 to push back against the poor little meow meow woobification curse shes been experiencing since holes because i am tired

[girlivealwaysbean]

I love these lines so much I can not even express it

[bacchuschucklefuck]

love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest

[phantomsies]

fat bodies are so fucking beautiful. Like we really are God’s most divine creation I think.

[raccoonnutella13]

its so weird to me personally that some people think that it doesnt make sense for craig to be nice to wildernessa but still hate jason (up until scout guest), but to me the worst thing wildernessa has done is say that craig doesnt know shit about nature vs jason whos basically like "ok tony now hit the second tower" for the majority of his screentime, and people wonder why craig doesnt trust him most of the time huh