#very grateful for my commissioner

[iztea]

commission for @/ nikkigogol 💣

[embroid-away]

What If: Captain America Were Revived Today? #44 (April 1983) by Peter B. Gillis and Sal Buscema; Original Image by John Romita Sr.

In this What If? Marvel tale, Captain America is unfrozen in 1983 rather than the 1960s. Without the leadership of Steve Rogers, The Avengers disband. Meanwhile, a Captain America imposter, who calls himself a "real American," has decided to use his newfound influential media status to publicly support a National Identity Card to "deal with illegal aliens,” to suggest that members of civil rights groups "ought to think seriously as to whether or not their actions contribute to the strengthening of communist enemies," and declare that if those groups tear the country apart with protests, martial law is justified "for the peace to find a solution.��

Neighborhoods with large black populations (e.g., Harlem) are walled off and forced into poverty, and one character even mentions that Jewish people are being “put back into camps.” The right-wing politicians make sure that things like this aren’t shown on television, keeping the majority of the American public ignorant of the horrors committed with their indifferent support. The public are simultaneously told that with some sacrifices, America can be free once again. The fake Captain America confronts a group of peaceful protestors, and he is shot by a sniper (in what reads like an inside job), allowing the police to have “reason” to attack the protestors. The imposter does not die and instead uses the attack to provide more reason for the violent crackdown against protesting groups.

When the true Captain America is unfrozen, he is horrified to see what America has become, especially with his emblem stamped all over it. He immediately seeks out the resistance forces (who clearly represent the Black Panther Party) and joins their cause, stating that "the wrongs [he's] seen will take much more than one man to right -- but [he's] got a name to clear, a costume to unsoil-- and a country to die for!!"

By the time Steve joins them, the resistance only has one chance left to stop the American downfall: a political convention where the "America First" party will be able to secure its support to sweep the national elections and allow them "to return America to the pure and great nation [the] forefathers envisioned."

The resistance strikes just as the convention begins. The Captain America imposter is no match in a fight against the true Captain America -- especially against a Steve Rogers who's fucking pissed. ("Get up so I can knock you down!!")

With the imposter knocked unconscious, Captain America addresses the convention crowd, warning that an America that does not represent all its people does not deserve to exist at all; that liberty can be "as easily snuffed out [in America] as in Nazi Germany" and "as a people, we are no different from them."

The crowd realizes that the man speaking before them is the true Captain America and cheers. Captain America holds his hand up and silences them, stating that he will not allow them the chance to simply replace one idol with another. He alone can’t undo the horrible damage, and he pleads that there’s still a chance for the people to “find America once again.”

Fascism doesn’t change its tune, just its singers.

A 2021 Marvel Trumps Hate ( @marveltrumpshate ) commission, completed on 22-count aida cloth with embroidery floss and watercolors on a 9" diameter bamboo hoop.

[arcandoria]

being very brave and working through my queue 🐌

[thejockout]

New File: Masculinity Absorption

This file is honestly one I'd have loved to have in my early days as a subject.

Funded by the same commissioner who paid for my first, second and third Brute file (mwah mwah, very grateful), this file is a broadly applicable "masculinization" engine for those who wish to become more like the men around them, or like those they watch on TV/social media. In that way, it's similar in concept to parts of Jack Drago's Masculine Conditioning series (one I listened to myself maaaany times, and highly recommend!) but a little looser and more flexible.

This is best used by people who regularly interact with/hang out with/have the pleasure of witnessing examples of masculinity they'd like to exhibit. Whether that comes in the form of your bro coworker you love the nonchalance of, or the grunting muscle freak at the gym you envy the passion of... doesn't matter. This file will get your subconscious to make you more like them, if that's what you want... and subtly work at chipping down any resistance you might have to changing like this.

Hope you all enjoy it! Be sure to let me know what you think; it'll be my first non-Soundcloud release, so any support in the form of reblogs, sharing etc. would be extra extra appreciated.

Content warnings for the file:

Suggestion to enter a light state of waking trance around masculine men, to help your mind learn their mannerisms, etc. better.

Suggestion to crave feeling this way and to seek out this experience.

Light hypnotic amnesia/obliviousness suggestions.

Explicit suggestions around language change, hobby changes, etc.

---------------------------------------------------------

When I'm not dropping myself or others, I'm off being a mystical forest bro in the wilderness of Ireland. But I am always available for commissions if you reach out via DM. My flat rate is currently $60-100, but you can check my pinned Tumblr post for more up-to-date info. You can also support me with a one-time tip either via Paypal or Ko-Fi. Keep listening, bros.

Oh, and since Patreon won't show the thumbnail for the file... I'll throw that in here.

[iwanttobeaseme]

April batch commissioned art 🤗

Very grateful to all of my clients 🫶.

MAY COMMISSIONES ARE OPEN! Feel free to dm me if your have questions/interested 😉.

Ps. Check my bio for slots update. Thanks ya'll!!!

[Reblogs are very much appreciated!]

[someone-will-remember-us]

Tony is in his 50s and recently did a rough calculation of how much of his life he has spent looking at pornography. “The result was horrifying,” he says. It was eight years. “I can barely think about it. The sense of failure is intense.”

Tony saw his first “hardcore” film on VHS in the 1980s when he was 12. In his 20s, he connected to the internet for the first time, which turned his habit into a “full-blown addiction”. Over the past 30 years, he has just about managed to maintain a double life: he works in a caring profession, is friends with men and women, has had relationships. But there is a part of him he keeps entirely hidden.

“So far, I’ve only told three people in my life about it – two therapists and now you,” he says. “It’s a complete secret from everyone I have ever known. I’m meticulous about covering my tracks, even when in a relationship. My lack of interest in sex with my partner might be the only thing that would cause her to wonder.”

Tony has tried to stop looking at pornography multiple times, but has never managed more than a month without it. He’s tried cutting down, he’s gone cold-turkey – banning himself from masturbating and blocking porn sites. But “the addict brain is exceptionally devious and adept”, he says. He’s also tried therapy, but has found it hard to keep paying for it long-term.

Still, Tony is grateful for one thing: he was young before the internet. “At least I had a normal youth – parties, gigs, adventures with friends. I had girlfriends and a sex life. Boys like me don’t stand a chance now.”

Every statistic related to pornography use in the UK – and globally – is soaring, driven by the ubiquity of mobile phones. About 13.8 million people – a third of all adults using the internet – viewed porn online in May 2023 alone, according to Ofcom. Two-thirds of these were men. While pornography companies don’t report (or acknowledge) statistics on underage viewers, British children, on average, first watch porn at the age of 12. The children’s commissioner for England found in a recent study that much of what young people see is violent and extreme.

Jack is in his 20s and first saw pornography when he was nine. “I was with a group of friends on a school trip. It was a woman giving a blowjob, something I had never been told about in sex education.” Like many children and teenagers today, porn found Jack before he went looking for it. “It came up through things friends shared, then on flash gaming websites. I saw really bizarre things which evoked both arousal and curiosity. That gradually turned into just arousal and then compulsion grew along with it.”

Soon, the intense stimulation of the pornography he was watching meant he “lost interest in day-to-day life”. It wasn’t so much the time he spent watching porn, but the “hyper intensity” of the content. “Sometimes in a particularly addicted phase I would spend hours watching it each day,” he says. ‘‘But usually it would just be an occasional binge then less use the rest of the time … In terms of how it was affecting me, though? That was not a normal life. The porn stimulus is intense and it leads to desensitisation to the small everyday pleasures that keep us sane and content.”

When Jack started having real-life sexual experiences, “it was very difficult to maintain an erection. Real sex was less intense than the masturbation of a desensitised addict – which is what I was”. Unlike online, “there was no option to click through many possible videos for something new and more stimulating.”

Both Jack and Tony describe themselves as porn addicts. Unlike other behavioural addictions such as gambling and gaming, pornography addiction is not included in the International Classification of Diseases (ICD), which is compiled by the World Health Organization (WHO). It is instead defined as a compulsive sexual behaviour.

Paula Hall is a psychotherapist who specialises in working with people struggling with their pornography use and has set up a private clinic dedicated to it in London. She has been an addiction therapist for 30 years – and started her career working with people with substance abuse issues. She believes it’s clear that pornography is addictive. “Porn use carries a risk of escalation and that is what hallmarks it for me as an addictive behaviour,” she says. “It’s a condition that causes significant suffering and we desperately need to develop resources for prevention and treatment.”

Peter Waddington is a counsellor with Relate, a charity offering relationship support, who is seeing more people with concerns about their pornography use. “Some people might be masturbating 10 times a day, up to three or four hours a go. They are physically in pain and sleep deprived. I see people who look unwell. The similarities to alcohol [misuse] are very strong … It’s also perceived as more shameful than gambling or alcohol,” he says.

“It’s helpful that it is now recognised as a compulsion by the WHO but we would like to see it classified as an addiction. If it was supported by the NHS, people could ask their GP for help.” As it stands, Waddington believes that shame can be a barrier to accessing help.

“There has been concern that by talking about pornography and sex addiction we are pathologising human sexuality,” says Hall. But, she insists, calling it an addiction is not increasing that sense of shame. “We know that alcohol is linked to violent behaviour, to coercive relationships, to heart disease, but people still enjoy alcohol. So we can acknowledge those potential risks without pathologising recreational porn use.”

Hall is finishing work on a leading study into British pornography habits with Leeds Trinity University. The aim is to help develop an online self-help programme. Out of the 193 people interviewed who felt they could not control their porn use, more than 93% reported struggling with depression. “Very worryingly, more than 40% say that, at times, they feel like ending their life,” says Hall. “In the same way that the gambling industry has been instructed to provide warnings and help problem users, the porn industry needs to do the same.”

Tony says: “I indulge in a compulsive behaviour that I feel totally unable to stop, despite severe negative consequences. I feel like an addict, I emotionally isolate like an addict, and I suffer the consequences like an addict. These websites are specifically designed to target addicts and keep them clicking.”

The algorithms that serve up new content for users “are incredibly powerful”, he says. “They tease out interests and kinks you didn’t know you had … You wouldn’t believe the number of mouse clicks you go through in a session sometimes. It’s not enough to watch the same few videos over again. It’s always more, more, more, new, new, new.”

Tony thinks this has made it impossible for him to commit to a relationship. “Porn tricked my brain into thinking I could have an endless supply of sexual partners. How does one partner compete with that? The version of me that isn’t porn addicted might have made a good husband and devoted father, but I became sexually bored and I always hid my addiction – I was never authentic.”

Pornography is often a factor in relationship breakdown, says Waddington. “For a lot of the guys I see, their partners have brought them in because they found out about secret porn viewing. Or they have become so addicted that they started watching it at work. So they need to change urgently – their world is imploding.” None of the pornography websites I approached for this piece wanted to comment.

Gunter De Win is a urologist who specialises in adolescent and paediatric urology and, each month, travels from his base of Belgium to London, where he is a consultant at University College hospital.

“Three years ago I started seeing more and more young guys coming in with erectile dysfunction related to issues with porn,” he says. “They need pornography to climax with a partner or to maintain an erection during masturbation. And they may have to watch many videos before they find one that turns them on. As a scientist, I wanted to unravel this.”

He is now part of a research group attempting to study the impact of pornography on young men’s sex lives. But, as his most recent report states, it is difficult to assess the impact that porn consumption has had on young men with erectile dysfunction as “it is more or less impossible to find a control group that is not using pornography from a young age and at the same time is not morally against its consumption”.

Teenage boys getting “performance anxiety is absolutely normal”, he says. However, De Win has seen young men concerned that they lose an erection during foreplay – which again, “is all normal”. But by watching porn so young, “they don’t understand the basics”.

De Win believes more research is needed into the impact of widely available pornography in the digital age. “Too much of the research on porn is biased either for or against,” he says.

Cold-turkey approaches such as NoFap, a US-based peer support network that encourages abstinence from pornography and masturbation as a recovery method, can have mixed results for young people, he says. “For some, going cold-turkey can be beneficial, but I see boys who end up with no sexual interest at all, which is also bad for their wellbeing.”

His solution is vastly improved sexual literacy – in sex education in schools and in the medical community – that does not condemn all pornography and masturbation as bad. “Introducing shame and guilt has consequences,” he says. For example, “if someone has a religious background and sees porn as taboo, then maybe this creates shame”. Shame, in turn, means that honest conversations around pornography do not happen.

“What I think might have steered me away from compulsive behaviour around porn might have been frank conversations with my parents,” says Tony. “My mother was extremely kind and caring but with an inability to communicate emotion. So maybe some of my tendency towards emotional isolation is just that I am my mother’s son? It’s hard for me to be sure what is really me and what is me corrupted by porn use.”

For now, nature is stepping in to help. “I’m in my 50s and my testosterone levels are dropping significantly, so that’s been a blessing and I am looking less at porn. I’m thinking now about getting help again,” he says. “But it feels like standing at the foot of Everest looking up at the summit.”

[maksinushka]

ranfren sona stuff

and little announcement (pls read it all)

if you didn't know - i'm freelance artist and all my income is commissions

and as you can understand - it's very hard to find commissioners for this style

and i want to pay for rent, food, clothes, etc. etc., so

so I open PWYW (pay what you want) for this style (quality depends on what you pay), but minimum is 5$

actually you can even point on some specific my art if you want something similar. there is a bunch of my ranfren art in different technique

you can commission any character, any idea. no problem with OCs or characters from other fandoms. You can DM me here or add me on Discord - maksinushka payment methods - Ko-Fi, Paypal, but if you need some specific method - i can check if it work for me ^^

big thanks for reading it all!! i also would be very grateful for a rb (´｡• ω •｡`)

[c-rowlesdraws]

how do you feel about people reusing your art for other OCs or such?

First of all, I’m always surprised and delighted when anyone wants to use my art for anything, and I’m perpetually grateful to everyone who enjoys my art. I always want to emphasize that.

But my answer to this ask depends on your definition of “reusing [my] art”. Some uses I’m fine with, and some I’m less fine with, and in all cases I would ask that I be visibly credited somewhere as the source of the art in question.

If you would like to crop or use a piece of original character art I’ve drawn as display art for an original character, in an online RP or a ttrpg, go for it! I think that’s awesome. If the artwork you want to use was commissioned from me, though, that character is someone else’s, and I’m not comfortable giving permission for that art to be used elsewhere without the commissioner’s permission first.

If you want to “reuse” my art as in trace over it to create a piece of your own… please don’t. Tracing is fine for private art practice though! But please don’t trace my artwork and pass it off as your own (this has happened, and as the original artist, it’s very surreal to stumble across).

If you’re unsure about something you’d like to use my art for, please DM me and ask! I’m always glad to talk these things out.

[monigote001]

I just wanted to say thank you to all the people who have commissionated me, we are still in an awful situation but this help means the whole difference of having something to eat at the end of the month and I will be forever grateful for all this help

I'm sorry drawings are slower than usual, I have a lot on my plate to finish but I'm trying my best and I'm glad of the patience all of you have

I feel awful, kinda ashamed to ask for money but this is very important for my family, and me, at this point I'm just thinking of creating a Ko-fi ughh

I'm sorry if this is weird, this has been a rough year

[bat-boness]

your art makes me smile. the colors, the shading, the texture... your art is smooth and i love getting notifs when you post!

hope you're doing okay. stay safe, and if you ever need to talk to someone, you can talk to me if you're comfortable enough to 🫶

AHHH PLEASEEE UR KILLIN MEEE VRGRHR I'M SO GLAD TO KNOW YOU ENJOY WHAT I MAKE!! UR SRSLY SO SWEET AND TALENTED URSELF!! I WANNA take this time to appreciate and thank all of you for all of your support!!! Even if it's just a like or a comment on one of my posts, I remember all of them and they are very sweet and helpful!! Especially to my commissioners out there, it helps more than you even know especially in my current situation and I am extremely grateful for all of you!!!! :] ❤

[okkotsui]

kamisato ayato ⇄ about you.

synopsis : ever since the two of you got together, ayato is making sure he remembers and knows every single detail about you despite him being a busy man.

tags / warnings : gender–neutral!reader, lots & lots of fluff!!

truth be told, ayato is too busy to be in a relationship when he is the head of the kamisato clan, alongside being the head commissioner of the yashiro commission.

he only got little to no time for himself, why enter a relationship?— of course, every person’s perspective changes especially the time when he first saw you— merely interacting, the way you look at him— with other people. he was mesmerized.

thoma saw it all, even his sister, ayaka. they saw it with their very own eyes how ayato changed when you entered his life. it was a great consequence, a positive one that thoma doesn’t have to worry about his waka anymore when it comes to his personal needs and problems because you made him— ayato prioritize himself before his duty and work as a head and a commissioner.

it was a tedious process when the two of you met and went to your own love story. ayato still remembers and knows very little things about you. from what you like to your favorites, hobbies from time to time, and your actions every time you are uncomfortable or anxious— he figures it all out. honestly speaking, he won’t forget any of it.

this is one of the days that you two had your time to yourselves where ayato finally manages his time well off and on from work, it was all because of you and he is grateful for it.

“darling, what are you doing here?” he came out of the state where you sat, drinking your favorite drink whilst taking a deep breath and fresh air to appreciate around you.

he knew that you’d been drinking your favorite refreshment these past few days and ayato noticed it, every time you do, you’ve been trying to calm yourself for some reason, there has been something bothering you.

not to mention, he requested your favorite food be brought here any minute now.

“ayato,” your eyes softened at his approaching figure where you moved to the side for him to be able to sit beside you.

“just taking some fresh air,” you replied, after he sat down, your favorite food was placed down, making you feel at ease.

your lover knows you very well.

“i see, if you’re tired, do not be afraid on taking a rest.”

“that’s ironic, isn’t that my saying for you?” you teased as he chuckled, leaning your head against his shoulder where his fingers were intertwined with yours.

“i am currently resting, that is not a problem but your rest? have you been resting?” he questioned back where you sighed in defeat.

“i am but it doesn’t feel enough” You closed your eyes, basking in his scent that always makes you feel at home every time you just took a bite of the food in front of you.

“it’s alright, you do not need to rush when you rest, that’s what you told me, didn’t you? take your time doing so.” he smiled, his eyes glimmering whilst looking at you.

there wasn’t a day that he never fall for you harder.

nodding your head, you indeed take your time resting (and eventually eating) with him. it was one of the times that the two of you just takes a break from each other with comfortable silence.

ayato tells himself that he should focus on taking care of you than himself, you told him many times that he shouldn’t as his being healthy mentally and physically affect everything around him positively, especially when he is overworked, somehow.

he always reminds himself to take care of you first but when you told him that he should prioritize himself first, he did it because you told him to and once he did, he always checks you like you are doing to him, just a give and take.

“do not pressure yourself, alright? it’s more important than our work” and that made you smile, seeing your good influence on him after years of being together.

what you did not know is Ayato is always thinking about you whenever or wherever he is. how he dedicates his life and work for you, to make everything better for the both of you.

“of course my love, not a problem.” you leaned your head against him, resting on each other’s arms as both of your homes.

staying like that until both of you are satisfied, it was time to go back to work— for Ayato that is. when going back to his working chambers, his heart is still beating, yearning for every inch of you. he just wanted you to stay by your side until every sun sets down the horizon.

he loves you much dearly with all of his life.

[wellen-katze]

Yo if you started a Patreon I would back it. Just saying. It doesn’t have to be high pressure—you could have just like one $1-$5 tier where patrons get comics a few days early or something. I’m sure a lot of people would be down to support you!!

Thank you so much for your kind message! It makes me truly happy to know that there are people who want to support me and my comics.

In fact, I do have a Patreon account, although I haven't been actively promoting it lately as it's currently inactive. While I really enjoy sharing my art without people having to pay for it, I'm very grateful to the commissioners and supporters (who have already enabled me to provide for my beloved cats, haha♡).

Due to chronic health issues I face some challenges that prevent me from offering regular updates. However, I'm currently immersed in creating fanart inspired by Baldur's Gate3, which brings me immense joy. Yet, I hesitate to build a Patreon solely around this fandom at this time.

Nevertheless, I'm considering how I can use Patreon in my artistic journey in the future because it would allow me to spend more time creating art. Once again, I really appreciate it and thank you so much to everyone who supports me in any form or way!

Patreon link here

[kamisatomay018]

My Saviour: Part 3

Very fluff, a little slow burn but signifies the start of something special!

Enjoy<3

Ayato led you both outside into the back gardens of your estate, and there was an awkward silence between you two, which he decided to break. “Now that we’re alone Lady Hiragi, you can feel free to ask me anything you wish. Judging by your silence and the hesitation in your eyes, I suspect something is wrong..”

You were shocked at how he managed to see right through you, as you looked around a little nervously, afraid that the guards of your estate would eavesdrop and report back to your parents. “I..don’t think this would be the perfect opportunity Lord Kamisato..”

“You needn’t worry about anyone eavesdropping my lady, I made sure we would be left alone for our discussion.” He looked at you reassuringly, and in his lavender eyes you sensed warmth and comfort, something you were never given before. You nodded and to his dismay, you left his arm, stepping ahead to face the endless ocean.

“Then I will not sugarcoat my words Lord Kamisato. I request you to be completely honest with me. Why do you wish to marry me? Is it because Ayaka told you of my situation? As grateful as I am that you would try to save me from my inevitable fate, I do not think it is fair for you to lead a life with a woman you married out of force.”

Ayato had already expected you to say this, and your doubts were understandable. After all, you both had never met, and Ayaka indeed had informed him of your situation. So he decided to be completely honest with you, standing beside you while facing the waters of Inazuma, he spoke calmly with absolutely no hesitation in his voice. “It is indeed true that my sister informed me of your troubles and your unfortunate situation Lady Hiragi. However, I am not being forced to marry you, nor am I doing this just to save you from this wretched household. My decision to marry you comes from my heart, from my feelings for you, which I can say with complete confidence, are very genuine.”

You looked at him, his words confusing you even more. “But we have never met each other, how did you gain feelings for me?” He chuckled softly, looking into your eyes tenderly, making sure you knew that he was being very genuine right now. “My sister has spoken about you endlessly, and through her I got to know how selfless, kind and pure your heart is. The first time I saw your photograph, I was enchanted by your beauty, by your smile and your demeanour. All this while I had been searching for an opportunity to travel to Ritou in order to meet you, but alas my position as the Commissioner did not allow that. Tell me Lady Hiragi, how could I simply stand aside and watch the only woman who captured my eye get married to another noble?”

You were left speechless after listening to Ayato’s words. He liked you? Moreover he was willing to spend the rest of his life with you? Somewhere you felt guilty for you did not reciprocate his feelings; at least not yet. You were foreign to the concept of love, and although you knew that Ayato’s presence seemed to make your heart flutter, you were not quite sure of your feelings. You had only met him today after all. “Forgive me my lord…I..I don’t feel that way yet..”

He smiles softly, and although a little melancholy is hidden behind it, he appreciates your honesty and was prepared for such a response. “I am aware my lady; but I request you to give me a chance. A chance to show you how you deserve to be treated, a chance to make you happy, a chance to give you the love of a real family…”

You looked at him again, not knowing what you had done to deserve this amount of care from the Yashiro Commissioner himself. “Are you absolutely certain that you wish to marry me Lord Kamisato? What if I’m not good enough to be the wife of the Yashiro Commissioner?” Ayato smiled sweetly, stepping closer to you as he gently cupped your cheek. His touch felt so safe, so warm that you found yourself unknowingly leaning into it. “It matters not my lady, for I know that you are perfect to be the wife of Kamisato Ayato..”

You looked into his eyes, as the impact of those words settled into your mind. It was Ayato that mattered the most, not the Yashiro Commissioner. It was Ayato that needed the love, not the mask that he put on every time he had to handle the duties of his clan. You understood that he wanted you to focus on his real self, and not his noble identity. You smiled shyly, looking down as you made your mind. “Then I give you my word that I’ll try to give you all the happiness and perform all the duties of a wife..”

He shook his head, gently lifting your chin up. Archons, he was so handsome that you could stare at him all day without getting tired. “Being my wife does not mean you are going to be my responsibility my lady. Being my wife would make you my equal, my other half, my partner for the rest of my life. You will have no duties, you will have your own will, your own voice. You can be rest assured that in the Kamisato estate, you will be given the treatment of a queen.”

You felt your lips part in shock, as he once again left you completely speechless. He was so different than the other noblemen you had ever seen or heard of. You knew that you would never find a man like him, and that he would manage to make you fall head over heels in love with him very soon. Your smile widened, and Ayato finally got a glimpse of that dimpled smile his sister would speak so fondly of. “then it would be my greatest honour to be your wife Lord Kamisato..”

Ayato smiles happily at your words, placing a chaste kiss on your forehead, a sign of respect, love and endearment. “Call me Ayato my lady..” your heartbeat accelerated as your eyes closed to feel that soft kiss on your forehead. It was the first time you had felt such love and warmth, and your heart craved even more. “You can also address me by my name, or any other name you wish to give me Ayato..”

He chuckles at your words, his lavender eyes carrying a hint of mischief “whatever name I wish hm? Then how about my Daarin?” (Darling in Japanese) you felt your cheeks flush at his teasing, mumbling shyly “I don’t mind..”

Ayato smiled even more, gently holding your hand, intertwining your fingers together as both of you watched the waves crash gently against the shore. He felt true happiness with you, and he was determined to make you fall in love with him. This was the beginning of a new life, this time, with you by his side.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Paul Terdal

Published: Jul 2, 2024

It’s understandable to want to help troubled kids. But the evidence simply isn’t there that unproven drugs and surgeries are what they need.

In our drive to eliminate health inequities, my fellow liberal Democrats and I are eager to help children who identify as transgender. This compassionate urge has led our state, Oregon, to fast-track Medicaid coverage of medical transition services for kids, including puberty-blockers, cross-sex hormones, and surgical removal of breasts and genitals. Yet I’m deeply concerned that in the push for equity, Oregon has ignored evidence, to the point of jeopardizing children’s health. I know from experience that my state can do better to ensure that kids get medically necessary care.

Oregon has long been a national and even international model for evidence-based medicine. I personally encountered my state’s strong commitment to medical science after my two young sons were diagnosed with autism in the late 2000s. At the time, few autism treatments were covered by insurance or Medicaid anywhere in America, so I worked with state leaders and a broader coalition to right that wrong. One key hurdle was Oregon’s Health Evidence Review Commission (HERC), which determines what treatments Medicaid covers and strongly influences the coverage of private health-insurance plans.

HERC held us to its customary high standards for quality of evidence. We organized testimony from some of the world’s leading experts on autism and submitted reams of peer-reviewed journal articles, all of which were rigorously scrutinized by HERC’s experts. We prevailed only after the U.S. Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality published a groundbreaking systematic review that supported the effectiveness of behavioral interventions for autistic children. In 2014, HERC approved Medicaid coverage of such treatments for children like mine. HERC’s wise focus on evidence steered patients and physicians away from risky and unproven interventions that were popular at the time, some of which, such as chelation therapy, reportedly killed autistic children. To this day, I’m grateful for the commission’s high standards.

Yet HERC hasn’t upheld the same standards for gender medicine. To its credit, the commission began looking at this issue in 2012, before gender dysphoria was on the social radar. At the time, based primarily on studies of adults over the age of 30, it concluded that there was “very poor evidence” of benefits of medical interventions for patients. Even so, HERC decided in 2014 to provide comprehensive Medicaid coverage for puberty-blockers, cross-sex hormones, and surgeries for anyone, including children, who identifies as transgender. In a strange departure from its own rules, HERC didn’t run these policies through its evidence-based-guidelines subcommittee. In my fight for autism coverage, that subcommittee was the most important part of the process.

I’m confident the commissioners were trying to help people in what was then a unique situation. At the time, in 2015, the state estimated that very few patients would choose medical transition: according to NPR, “at least 175” patients per year, of all ages. NPR quoted HERC’s medical expert as estimating that the combined total cost for this coverage would be “up to $200,000 — for the whole state.” Yet by 2019, more than 7,500 Oregonians were receiving such treatment, at a cost of over $20 million per year. Based on my analysis of state data, hundreds of children have received some combination of puberty-blockers, cross-sex hormones, and surgeries. None of these procedures have gone through clinical trials to demonstrate their safety and effectiveness, and in the case of hormones, children are receiving drugs that haven’t been approved for such use by the FDA.

Amid this exponential rise, HERC in 2023 commissioned a thorough review of the latest studies. The draft report, which I obtained via a freedom-of-information request, found that the evidence was still very limited. For youth, the investigators reported that they were unable to find any systematic reviews — the key evidence we had to provide for autism coverage — with “extractable data” showing benefits of transgender treatments for children. The report also noted that many lower-quality studies can’t be applied to patients who seek a rapid gender-affirming transition, which is typically the case with children. The report was essentially Oregon’s version of the Cass Report, which the United Kingdom released in April.

Yet Oregon’s report was never finalized, and HERC staff didn’t even present their draft to the body’s 13 commissioners. Instead, after the state passed a law requiring the coverage of “accepted standards of care” for transgender treatments, HERC quickly endorsed guidelines from an advocacy group — without any analysis of the contents. The guidelines are highly aggressive yet based on low-quality evidence. Today, preteen Oregonians can be put on powerful chemicals without FDA approval, before moving on to surgeries as adolescents. These interventions can irreversibly alter their bodies and leave them less likely or even unable to have children of their own later in life. The risks to their physical and mental health are high and, crucially, not justified by existing proof of benefit.

Equity cannot be achieved by ignoring evidence and stripping away consumer protections from historically underserved people. While I deeply sympathize with the goal of helping struggling kids, we can’t accept shortcutting medical ethics — and we didn’t accept it a decade ago, with autism coverage. The ethical path is for HERC to define “accepted standards of care” based on the best science. Medicine is supposed to follow the evidence because health and well-being hang in the balance. The stakes are especially high for children. If we truly want to be equitable, Oregon will stop undermining children’s right to evidence-based medical care.

[ Via: https://archive.today/WcL66 ]

[delusionaid]

@daybreakrising sent: [ META ] + thoma for ayato ;)

I feel like I bring up Thoma almost every time I talk about Ayato anyway, because he plays such an important role his life. While Ayato holds great respect for those he considers friends or loyal employees, Ayaka and Thoma are the two most important people and both of them are family to him, albeit in different ways. Thoma is loyal to a fault and as careful as Ayato is with other people (i.e. he doesn't subject everyone he meets to unwarranted scrutiny, but there is always a remaining percentage of risk in trusting someone new), with Thoma he has no hesitations when it comes to trust. Thoma has proven time and time again that he is loyal to the Kamisatos and a good friend on top of that and Ayato would quite literally trust him with his life - and with Ayaka's life. This is a rare and precious thing to have in Ayato's eyes, so he values Thoma very much. It was a significant moment in their relationship when he offered Thoma a way out before things got turbulent, but Thoma decided to stay - and it's something Ayato will always be grateful for. And even now when it would be easier than ever to leave and go back to Mondstadt - or anywhere, really - Thoma chooses to stay.

Heavy things aside, Thoma is also simply a light in Ayato's life just by being who he is. He has a rare energy about him and a way of motivating and cheering up (and on) that makes being around him rewarding and pleasant. He's the kind of friend everyone should have. He takes care of things Ayato neglects and helps make his life easier in various ways, seemingly never growing tired of it or developing a resentment for it. He's smart, he's capable, he's reliable. Ayato genuinely enjoys his company; being with Thoma is like taking a deep breath of fresh air that both calms and invigorates him. He's also just a good person, courageous and honest and wiling to make sacrifices for friends, and those aren't qualities that are easy to come by. His support and friendship are not things one should take for granted and Ayato acknowledges their value whenever he thinks about it. Losing him - one way or another - would be incredibly difficult for him, because he genuinely hopes to live the rest of his life with Thoma in it.

Something I've mentioned in another headcanon: since Thoma is part of the clan/family Ayato feels responsible for him, in the sense of wanting to protect him, like he does with everyone else under his protection. However, unlike Ayaka, Thoma has more freedom to have a brush with danger or corruption - things Ayato hopes to keep away from his sister. He is not oppressing her or keeping her sheltered against her will, but he would do more to keep her away from it than he would for Thoma. It's not that he cares less, but he cares differently. Thoma is such a big support because he can face dangerous people and remain resilient in the face of tragedies, he's faced all that before he even came to the Kamisatos. Also, his tie to Ayato is entirely voluntary, whereas Ayaka and Ayato are bound by blood. It's tricky to describe, but basically Ayato has an easier time letting Thoma look after himself because he knows him to come out fine, whereas with Ayaka he is a little more protective because he not only wants her to not face danger directly, he also wants to keep her from having to make awful decisions (as long as possible).

The above things are all canon to my Ayato, regardless of whether it's a shippy verse or not. However, since it's you who's asking :) I believe it's easy to see how these feelings can tip over into something more. Ayato is not suitable/easy as a partner for just anyone, due to his story/position and the way it's shaped his character. So I think the most fitting options for him would be someone entirely detached from Inazuma, someone who gives him a chance to be himself rather than the Commissioner (or e.g. someone who is in Inazuma but doesn't know who Ayato is), or someone like Thoma, who is so close to him already that moving their relationship to another level feels surprisingly easy. There's not much left of Ayato that he hides from Thoma. (That said, there's the issue of how public they could be, but who doesn't love a bit of angst :) )

[dotthings]

So this is it. Last episode of Gotham Knights.

Thank you to James Stoteraux and Chad Fiveash for a fantastic finale. And to all the writers and cast and crew who made this beautiful DC series.

Season one gave us a taste of all the places this could go and what this show could be and it was SO GOOD I'm sorry there won't be more of it. There's only a few DC live action TV series that have worked for me over the years, Gotham Knights is among them.

"Batman chose well. Gotham needs its Robin." I LOVE this. Carrie's mom trusting her to look after herself, to stay alive, having seen her daughter in action as Robin, and asking her daughter to go save lives and trusting her to survive in return.

Commissioner Soto!! Knew!!! So...maybe she was the Gordon analogue in this continuity. All this time.

What finally made Harvey give himself over to the Two Face personality, what finally made him fully snap -- HE DID IT TO SAVE HIS DAUGHTER AND THOUSANDS OF LIVES IN GOTHAM. This is a really brilliant re-imagining.

With Turner's parents, I got that there was more to the story. Batman was defending himself from assassins. I didn't expect this version to have Batman actually have killed them, because the Batman doesn't kill idea is so seminal in most continuities including this one--this Batman also had the do not kill code.

He's a precise highly trained fighter, who has a strong code about not killing. So in that fight, something went wrong, he was in deadly peril, or, in defending himself, did something he didn't intend to be a kill, but wound up killing them.

Misha Collins and Olivia Rose-Keegan are hitting it out of the park in all their scenes. Duela with Harvey, Duela with Two Face, two very different dynamics and both riveting.

Misha getting to play Harvey as a regretful father who wants to save his daughter and thousands of lives and make amends and then Misha getting to play completely unhinged scarred, murderous Two Face and Misha floors it in both directions.

GIVE HIM AWARDS I'M NOT KIDDING HE DESERVES NOMINATIONS.

Sadly, because it's the CW network and a superhero show, the critical awards people won't even look at it. But I'm betting industry folks will take note anyway. Bravo, Misha.

I didn't expect Turner to actually be dead, and that tactical team had French accents so I expected Henri Ducard. Still enjoyed that reveal at the end. Guessing they're going with the comics background as inspiration (and would put their own twists on it--and not Nolanverse.) Henri Ducard trained Bruce Wayne. He's not a good guy, but he helped Bruce. I like how this show's plan was to have him train his son too.

And Turner, who wants to live up to his father's legacy, becomes a legacy and inspiration for his friends, to Duela, to keep fighting for Gotham, like Bruce did, like Turner wanted.

I can only guess what the S2 plans were. It's hinting Turner becoming a new kind of Batman eventually, not sure by S2.

The Knights are going to be pissed he didn't tell them he's alive.

The Two Face and Duela stories I'm sure would be riveting.

Steph/Harper and Duela/Turner getting more development and drama. Harper enrolling at Gotham Academy. Cullen would get a boyfriend.

Beyond that, it's a wild card. Two Face likely as a significant villain, but perhaps one who goes after other villains, who ultimately acts to preserve Gotham. Maybe some Owl remnants would be in play?

As it stands, I'm grateful. I got to have this, as a DC fan. I didn't go into this solely as a Misha fan. The bulk of my perspective of this show was as a DC fan, and it was good and I am going to keep saying it was good.

I love the team, I love its beautiful, candle-lit, aged, gothic, old stones and hidden dark corners and dirigibles and pre-war towers Gotham style. It gave, in my opinion, what is the best filmed take on Harvey Dent I've ever seen. The most nuanced and compassionate and unhinged and heartwrenching and frightening and gloriously fun to watch.

And it gave me this amazing and wonderful version of Carrie Kelley's Robin and I think I will miss her most of all.