#very grateful for my commissioner

[iztea]

commission for @/ nikkigogol 💣

[embroid-away]

What If: Captain America Were Revived Today? #44 (April 1983) by Peter B. Gillis and Sal Buscema; Original Image by John Romita Sr.

In this What If? Marvel tale, Captain America is unfrozen in 1983 rather than the 1960s. Without the leadership of Steve Rogers, The Avengers disband. Meanwhile, a Captain America imposter, who calls himself a "real American," has decided to use his newfound influential media status to publicly support a National Identity Card to "deal with illegal aliens,” to suggest that members of civil rights groups "ought to think seriously as to whether or not their actions contribute to the strengthening of communist enemies," and declare that if those groups tear the country apart with protests, martial law is justified "for the peace to find a solution.”

Neighborhoods with large black populations (e.g., Harlem) are walled off and forced into poverty, and one character even mentions that Jewish people are being “put back into camps.” The right-wing politicians make sure that things like this aren’t shown on television, keeping the majority of the American public ignorant of the horrors committed with their indifferent support. The public are simultaneously told that with some sacrifices, America can be free once again. The fake Captain America confronts a group of peaceful protestors, and he is shot by a sniper (in what reads like an inside job), allowing the police to have “reason” to attack the protestors. The imposter does not die and instead uses the attack to provide more reason for the violent crackdown against protesting groups.

When the true Captain America is unfrozen, he is horrified to see what America has become, especially with his emblem stamped all over it. He immediately seeks out the resistance forces (who clearly represent the Black Panther Party) and joins their cause, stating that "the wrongs [he's] seen will take much more than one man to right -- but [he's] got a name to clear, a costume to unsoil-- and a country to die for!!"

By the time Steve joins them, the resistance only has one chance left to stop the American downfall: a political convention where the "America First" party will be able to secure its support to sweep the national elections and allow them "to return America to the pure and great nation [the] forefathers envisioned."

The resistance strikes just as the convention begins. The Captain America imposter is no match in a fight against the true Captain America -- especially against a Steve Rogers who's fucking pissed. ("Get up so I can knock you down!!")

With the imposter knocked unconscious, Captain America addresses the convention crowd, warning that an America that does not represent all its people does not deserve to exist at all; that liberty can be "as easily snuffed out [in America] as in Nazi Germany" and "as a people, we are no different from them."

The crowd realizes that the man speaking before them is the true Captain America and cheers. Captain America holds his hand up and silences them, stating that he will not allow them the chance to simply replace one idol with another. He alone can’t undo the horrible damage, and he pleads that there’s still a chance for the people to “find America once again.”

Fascism doesn’t change its tune, just its singers.

A 2021 Marvel Trumps Hate ( @marveltrumpshate ) commission, completed on 22-count aida cloth with embroidery floss and watercolors on a 9" diameter bamboo hoop.

[arcandoria]

being very brave and working through my queue 🐌

[thejockout]

New File: Masculinity Absorption

This file is honestly one I'd have loved to have in my early days as a subject.

Funded by the same commissioner who paid for my first, second and third Brute file (mwah mwah, very grateful), this file is a broadly applicable "masculinization" engine for those who wish to become more like the men around them, or like those they watch on TV/social media. In that way, it's similar in concept to parts of Jack Drago's Masculine Conditioning series (one I listened to myself maaaany times, and highly recommend!) but a little looser and more flexible.

This is best used by people who regularly interact with/hang out with/have the pleasure of witnessing examples of masculinity they'd like to exhibit. Whether that comes in the form of your bro coworker you love the nonchalance of, or the grunting muscle freak at the gym you envy the passion of... doesn't matter. This file will get your subconscious to make you more like them, if that's what you want... and subtly work at chipping down any resistance you might have to changing like this.

Hope you all enjoy it! Be sure to let me know what you think; it'll be my first non-Soundcloud release, so any support in the form of reblogs, sharing etc. would be extra extra appreciated.

Content warnings for the file:

Suggestion to enter a light state of waking trance around masculine men, to help your mind learn their mannerisms, etc. better.

Suggestion to crave feeling this way and to seek out this experience.

Light hypnotic amnesia/obliviousness suggestions.

Explicit suggestions around language change, hobby changes, etc.

---------------------------------------------------------

When I'm not dropping myself or others, I'm off being a mystical forest bro in the wilderness of Ireland. But I am always available for commissions if you reach out via DM. My flat rate is currently $60-100, but you can check my pinned Tumblr post for more up-to-date info. You can also support me with a one-time tip either via Paypal or Ko-Fi. Keep listening, bros.

Oh, and since Patreon won't show the thumbnail for the file... I'll throw that in here.

[iwanttobeaseme]

April batch commissioned art 🤗

Very grateful to all of my clients 🫶.

MAY COMMISSIONES ARE OPEN! Feel free to dm me if your have questions/interested 😉.

Ps. Check my bio for slots update. Thanks ya'll!!!

[Reblogs are very much appreciated!]

[someone-will-remember-us]

Tony is in his 50s and recently did a rough calculation of how much of his life he has spent looking at pornography. “The result was horrifying,” he says. It was eight years. “I can barely think about it. The sense of failure is intense.”

Tony saw his first “hardcore” film on VHS in the 1980s when he was 12. In his 20s, he connected to the internet for the first time, which turned his habit into a “full-blown addiction”. Over the past 30 years, he has just about managed to maintain a double life: he works in a caring profession, is friends with men and women, has had relationships. But there is a part of him he keeps entirely hidden.

“So far, I’ve only told three people in my life about it – two therapists and now you,” he says. “It’s a complete secret from everyone I have ever known. I’m meticulous about covering my tracks, even when in a relationship. My lack of interest in sex with my partner might be the only thing that would cause her to wonder.”

Tony has tried to stop looking at pornography multiple times, but has never managed more than a month without it. He’s tried cutting down, he’s gone cold-turkey – banning himself from masturbating and blocking porn sites. But “the addict brain is exceptionally devious and adept”, he says. He’s also tried therapy, but has found it hard to keep paying for it long-term.

Still, Tony is grateful for one thing: he was young before the internet. “At least I had a normal youth – parties, gigs, adventures with friends. I had girlfriends and a sex life. Boys like me don’t stand a chance now.”

Every statistic related to pornography use in the UK – and globally – is soaring, driven by the ubiquity of mobile phones. About 13.8 million people – a third of all adults using the internet – viewed porn online in May 2023 alone, according to Ofcom. Two-thirds of these were men. While pornography companies don’t report (or acknowledge) statistics on underage viewers, British children, on average, first watch porn at the age of 12. The children’s commissioner for England found in a recent study that much of what young people see is violent and extreme.

Jack is in his 20s and first saw pornography when he was nine. “I was with a group of friends on a school trip. It was a woman giving a blowjob, something I had never been told about in sex education.” Like many children and teenagers today, porn found Jack before he went looking for it. “It came up through things friends shared, then on flash gaming websites. I saw really bizarre things which evoked both arousal and curiosity. That gradually turned into just arousal and then compulsion grew along with it.”

Soon, the intense stimulation of the pornography he was watching meant he “lost interest in day-to-day life”. It wasn’t so much the time he spent watching porn, but the “hyper intensity” of the content. “Sometimes in a particularly addicted phase I would spend hours watching it each day,” he says. ‘‘But usually it would just be an occasional binge then less use the rest of the time … In terms of how it was affecting me, though? That was not a normal life. The porn stimulus is intense and it leads to desensitisation to the small everyday pleasures that keep us sane and content.”

When Jack started having real-life sexual experiences, “it was very difficult to maintain an erection. Real sex was less intense than the masturbation of a desensitised addict – which is what I was”. Unlike online, “there was no option to click through many possible videos for something new and more stimulating.”

Both Jack and Tony describe themselves as porn addicts. Unlike other behavioural addictions such as gambling and gaming, pornography addiction is not included in the International Classification of Diseases (ICD), which is compiled by the World Health Organization (WHO). It is instead defined as a compulsive sexual behaviour.

Paula Hall is a psychotherapist who specialises in working with people struggling with their pornography use and has set up a private clinic dedicated to it in London. She has been an addiction therapist for 30 years – and started her career working with people with substance abuse issues. She believes it’s clear that pornography is addictive. “Porn use carries a risk of escalation and that is what hallmarks it for me as an addictive behaviour,” she says. “It’s a condition that causes significant suffering and we desperately need to develop resources for prevention and treatment.”

Peter Waddington is a counsellor with Relate, a charity offering relationship support, who is seeing more people with concerns about their pornography use. “Some people might be masturbating 10 times a day, up to three or four hours a go. They are physically in pain and sleep deprived. I see people who look unwell. The similarities to alcohol [misuse] are very strong … It’s also perceived as more shameful than gambling or alcohol,” he says.

“It’s helpful that it is now recognised as a compulsion by the WHO but we would like to see it classified as an addiction. If it was supported by the NHS, people could ask their GP for help.” As it stands, Waddington believes that shame can be a barrier to accessing help.

“There has been concern that by talking about pornography and sex addiction we are pathologising human sexuality,” says Hall. But, she insists, calling it an addiction is not increasing that sense of shame. “We know that alcohol is linked to violent behaviour, to coercive relationships, to heart disease, but people still enjoy alcohol. So we can acknowledge those potential risks without pathologising recreational porn use.”

Hall is finishing work on a leading study into British pornography habits with Leeds Trinity University. The aim is to help develop an online self-help programme. Out of the 193 people interviewed who felt they could not control their porn use, more than 93% reported struggling with depression. “Very worryingly, more than 40% say that, at times, they feel like ending their life,” says Hall. “In the same way that the gambling industry has been instructed to provide warnings and help problem users, the porn industry needs to do the same.”

Tony says: “I indulge in a compulsive behaviour that I feel totally unable to stop, despite severe negative consequences. I feel like an addict, I emotionally isolate like an addict, and I suffer the consequences like an addict. These websites are specifically designed to target addicts and keep them clicking.”

The algorithms that serve up new content for users “are incredibly powerful”, he says. “They tease out interests and kinks you didn’t know you had … You wouldn’t believe the number of mouse clicks you go through in a session sometimes. It’s not enough to watch the same few videos over again. It’s always more, more, more, new, new, new.”

Tony thinks this has made it impossible for him to commit to a relationship. “Porn tricked my brain into thinking I could have an endless supply of sexual partners. How does one partner compete with that? The version of me that isn’t porn addicted might have made a good husband and devoted father, but I became sexually bored and I always hid my addiction – I was never authentic.”

Pornography is often a factor in relationship breakdown, says Waddington. “For a lot of the guys I see, their partners have brought them in because they found out about secret porn viewing. Or they have become so addicted that they started watching it at work. So they need to change urgently – their world is imploding.” None of the pornography websites I approached for this piece wanted to comment.

Gunter De Win is a urologist who specialises in adolescent and paediatric urology and, each month, travels from his base of Belgium to London, where he is a consultant at University College hospital.

“Three years ago I started seeing more and more young guys coming in with erectile dysfunction related to issues with porn,” he says. “They need pornography to climax with a partner or to maintain an erection during masturbation. And they may have to watch many videos before they find one that turns them on. As a scientist, I wanted to unravel this.”

He is now part of a research group attempting to study the impact of pornography on young men’s sex lives. But, as his most recent report states, it is difficult to assess the impact that porn consumption has had on young men with erectile dysfunction as “it is more or less impossible to find a control group that is not using pornography from a young age and at the same time is not morally against its consumption”.

Teenage boys getting “performance anxiety is absolutely normal”, he says. However, De Win has seen young men concerned that they lose an erection during foreplay – which again, “is all normal”. But by watching porn so young, “they don’t understand the basics”.

De Win believes more research is needed into the impact of widely available pornography in the digital age. “Too much of the research on porn is biased either for or against,” he says.

Cold-turkey approaches such as NoFap, a US-based peer support network that encourages abstinence from pornography and masturbation as a recovery method, can have mixed results for young people, he says. “For some, going cold-turkey can be beneficial, but I see boys who end up with no sexual interest at all, which is also bad for their wellbeing.”

His solution is vastly improved sexual literacy – in sex education in schools and in the medical community – that does not condemn all pornography and masturbation as bad. “Introducing shame and guilt has consequences,” he says. For example, “if someone has a religious background and sees porn as taboo, then maybe this creates shame”. Shame, in turn, means that honest conversations around pornography do not happen.

“What I think might have steered me away from compulsive behaviour around porn might have been frank conversations with my parents,” says Tony. “My mother was extremely kind and caring but with an inability to communicate emotion. So maybe some of my tendency towards emotional isolation is just that I am my mother’s son? It’s hard for me to be sure what is really me and what is me corrupted by porn use.”

For now, nature is stepping in to help. “I’m in my 50s and my testosterone levels are dropping significantly, so that’s been a blessing and I am looking less at porn. I’m thinking now about getting help again,” he says. “But it feels like standing at the foot of Everest looking up at the summit.”

[c-rowlesdraws]

how do you feel about people reusing your art for other OCs or such?

First of all, I’m always surprised and delighted when anyone wants to use my art for anything, and I’m perpetually grateful to everyone who enjoys my art. I always want to emphasize that.

But my answer to this ask depends on your definition of “reusing [my] art”. Some uses I’m fine with, and some I’m less fine with, and in all cases I would ask that I be visibly credited somewhere as the source of the art in question.

If you would like to crop or use a piece of original character art I’ve drawn as display art for an original character, in an online RP or a ttrpg, go for it! I think that’s awesome. If the artwork you want to use was commissioned from me, though, that character is someone else’s, and I’m not comfortable giving permission for that art to be used elsewhere without the commissioner’s permission first.

If you want to “reuse” my art as in trace over it to create a piece of your own… please don’t. Tracing is fine for private art practice though! But please don’t trace my artwork and pass it off as your own (this has happened, and as the original artist, it’s very surreal to stumble across).

If you’re unsure about something you’d like to use my art for, please DM me and ask! I’m always glad to talk these things out.

[bat-boness]

your art makes me smile. the colors, the shading, the texture... your art is smooth and i love getting notifs when you post!

hope you're doing okay. stay safe, and if you ever need to talk to someone, you can talk to me if you're comfortable enough to 🫶

AHHH PLEASEEE UR KILLIN MEEE VRGRHR I'M SO GLAD TO KNOW YOU ENJOY WHAT I MAKE!! UR SRSLY SO SWEET AND TALENTED URSELF!! I WANNA take this time to appreciate and thank all of you for all of your support!!! Even if it's just a like or a comment on one of my posts, I remember all of them and they are very sweet and helpful!! Especially to my commissioners out there, it helps more than you even know especially in my current situation and I am extremely grateful for all of you!!!! :] ❤

[okkotsui]

kamisato ayato ⇄ about you.

synopsis : ever since the two of you got together, ayato is making sure he remembers and knows every single detail about you despite him being a busy man.

tags / warnings : gender–neutral!reader, lots & lots of fluff!!

truth be told, ayato is too busy to be in a relationship when he is the head of the kamisato clan, alongside being the head commissioner of the yashiro commission.

he only got little to no time for himself, why enter a relationship?— of course, every person’s perspective changes especially the time when he first saw you— merely interacting, the way you look at him— with other people. he was mesmerized.

thoma saw it all, even his sister, ayaka. they saw it with their very own eyes how ayato changed when you entered his life. it was a great consequence, a positive one that thoma doesn’t have to worry about his waka anymore when it comes to his personal needs and problems because you made him— ayato prioritize himself before his duty and work as a head and a commissioner.

it was a tedious process when the two of you met and went to your own love story. ayato still remembers and knows very little things about you. from what you like to your favorites, hobbies from time to time, and your actions every time you are uncomfortable or anxious— he figures it all out. honestly speaking, he won’t forget any of it.

this is one of the days that you two had your time to yourselves where ayato finally manages his time well off and on from work, it was all because of you and he is grateful for it.

“darling, what are you doing here?” he came out of the state where you sat, drinking your favorite drink whilst taking a deep breath and fresh air to appreciate around you.

he knew that you’d been drinking your favorite refreshment these past few days and ayato noticed it, every time you do, you’ve been trying to calm yourself for some reason, there has been something bothering you.

not to mention, he requested your favorite food be brought here any minute now.

“ayato,” your eyes softened at his approaching figure where you moved to the side for him to be able to sit beside you.

“just taking some fresh air,” you replied, after he sat down, your favorite food was placed down, making you feel at ease.

your lover knows you very well.

“i see, if you’re tired, do not be afraid on taking a rest.”

“that’s ironic, isn’t that my saying for you?” you teased as he chuckled, leaning your head against his shoulder where his fingers were intertwined with yours.

“i am currently resting, that is not a problem but your rest? have you been resting?” he questioned back where you sighed in defeat.

“i am but it doesn’t feel enough” You closed your eyes, basking in his scent that always makes you feel at home every time you just took a bite of the food in front of you.

“it’s alright, you do not need to rush when you rest, that’s what you told me, didn’t you? take your time doing so.” he smiled, his eyes glimmering whilst looking at you.

there wasn’t a day that he never fall for you harder.

nodding your head, you indeed take your time resting (and eventually eating) with him. it was one of the times that the two of you just takes a break from each other with comfortable silence.

ayato tells himself that he should focus on taking care of you than himself, you told him many times that he shouldn’t as his being healthy mentally and physically affect everything around him positively, especially when he is overworked, somehow.

he always reminds himself to take care of you first but when you told him that he should prioritize himself first, he did it because you told him to and once he did, he always checks you like you are doing to him, just a give and take.

“do not pressure yourself, alright? it’s more important than our work” and that made you smile, seeing your good influence on him after years of being together.

what you did not know is Ayato is always thinking about you whenever or wherever he is. how he dedicates his life and work for you, to make everything better for the both of you.

“of course my love, not a problem.” you leaned your head against him, resting on each other’s arms as both of your homes.

staying like that until both of you are satisfied, it was time to go back to work— for Ayato that is. when going back to his working chambers, his heart is still beating, yearning for every inch of you. he just wanted you to stay by your side until every sun sets down the horizon.

he loves you much dearly with all of his life.

[wellen-katze]

Yo if you started a Patreon I would back it. Just saying. It doesn’t have to be high pressure—you could have just like one $1-$5 tier where patrons get comics a few days early or something. I’m sure a lot of people would be down to support you!!

Thank you so much for your kind message! It makes me truly happy to know that there are people who want to support me and my comics.

In fact, I do have a Patreon account, although I haven't been actively promoting it lately as it's currently inactive. While I really enjoy sharing my art without people having to pay for it, I'm very grateful to the commissioners and supporters (who have already enabled me to provide for my beloved cats, haha♡).

Due to chronic health issues I face some challenges that prevent me from offering regular updates. However, I'm currently immersed in creating fanart inspired by Baldur's Gate3, which brings me immense joy. Yet, I hesitate to build a Patreon solely around this fandom at this time.

Nevertheless, I'm considering how I can use Patreon in my artistic journey in the future because it would allow me to spend more time creating art. Once again, I really appreciate it and thank you so much to everyone who supports me in any form or way!

Patreon link here

[kamisatomay018]

My Saviour: Part 3

Very fluff, a little slow burn but signifies the start of something special!

Enjoy<3

Ayato led you both outside into the back gardens of your estate, and there was an awkward silence between you two, which he decided to break. “Now that we’re alone Lady Hiragi, you can feel free to ask me anything you wish. Judging by your silence and the hesitation in your eyes, I suspect something is wrong..”

You were shocked at how he managed to see right through you, as you looked around a little nervously, afraid that the guards of your estate would eavesdrop and report back to your parents. “I..don’t think this would be the perfect opportunity Lord Kamisato..”

“You needn’t worry about anyone eavesdropping my lady, I made sure we would be left alone for our discussion.” He looked at you reassuringly, and in his lavender eyes you sensed warmth and comfort, something you were never given before. You nodded and to his dismay, you left his arm, stepping ahead to face the endless ocean.

“Then I will not sugarcoat my words Lord Kamisato. I request you to be completely honest with me. Why do you wish to marry me? Is it because Ayaka told you of my situation? As grateful as I am that you would try to save me from my inevitable fate, I do not think it is fair for you to lead a life with a woman you married out of force.”

Ayato had already expected you to say this, and your doubts were understandable. After all, you both had never met, and Ayaka indeed had informed him of your situation. So he decided to be completely honest with you, standing beside you while facing the waters of Inazuma, he spoke calmly with absolutely no hesitation in his voice. “It is indeed true that my sister informed me of your troubles and your unfortunate situation Lady Hiragi. However, I am not being forced to marry you, nor am I doing this just to save you from this wretched household. My decision to marry you comes from my heart, from my feelings for you, which I can say with complete confidence, are very genuine.”

You looked at him, his words confusing you even more. “But we have never met each other, how did you gain feelings for me?” He chuckled softly, looking into your eyes tenderly, making sure you knew that he was being very genuine right now. “My sister has spoken about you endlessly, and through her I got to know how selfless, kind and pure your heart is. The first time I saw your photograph, I was enchanted by your beauty, by your smile and your demeanour. All this while I had been searching for an opportunity to travel to Ritou in order to meet you, but alas my position as the Commissioner did not allow that. Tell me Lady Hiragi, how could I simply stand aside and watch the only woman who captured my eye get married to another noble?”

You were left speechless after listening to Ayato’s words. He liked you? Moreover he was willing to spend the rest of his life with you? Somewhere you felt guilty for you did not reciprocate his feelings; at least not yet. You were foreign to the concept of love, and although you knew that Ayato’s presence seemed to make your heart flutter, you were not quite sure of your feelings. You had only met him today after all. “Forgive me my lord…I..I don’t feel that way yet..”

He smiles softly, and although a little melancholy is hidden behind it, he appreciates your honesty and was prepared for such a response. “I am aware my lady; but I request you to give me a chance. A chance to show you how you deserve to be treated, a chance to make you happy, a chance to give you the love of a real family…”

You looked at him again, not knowing what you had done to deserve this amount of care from the Yashiro Commissioner himself. “Are you absolutely certain that you wish to marry me Lord Kamisato? What if I’m not good enough to be the wife of the Yashiro Commissioner?” Ayato smiled sweetly, stepping closer to you as he gently cupped your cheek. His touch felt so safe, so warm that you found yourself unknowingly leaning into it. “It matters not my lady, for I know that you are perfect to be the wife of Kamisato Ayato..”

You looked into his eyes, as the impact of those words settled into your mind. It was Ayato that mattered the most, not the Yashiro Commissioner. It was Ayato that needed the love, not the mask that he put on every time he had to handle the duties of his clan. You understood that he wanted you to focus on his real self, and not his noble identity. You smiled shyly, looking down as you made your mind. “Then I give you my word that I’ll try to give you all the happiness and perform all the duties of a wife..”

He shook his head, gently lifting your chin up. Archons, he was so handsome that you could stare at him all day without getting tired. “Being my wife does not mean you are going to be my responsibility my lady. Being my wife would make you my equal, my other half, my partner for the rest of my life. You will have no duties, you will have your own will, your own voice. You can be rest assured that in the Kamisato estate, you will be given the treatment of a queen.”

You felt your lips part in shock, as he once again left you completely speechless. He was so different than the other noblemen you had ever seen or heard of. You knew that you would never find a man like him, and that he would manage to make you fall head over heels in love with him very soon. Your smile widened, and Ayato finally got a glimpse of that dimpled smile his sister would speak so fondly of. “then it would be my greatest honour to be your wife Lord Kamisato..”

Ayato smiles happily at your words, placing a chaste kiss on your forehead, a sign of respect, love and endearment. “Call me Ayato my lady..” your heartbeat accelerated as your eyes closed to feel that soft kiss on your forehead. It was the first time you had felt such love and warmth, and your heart craved even more. “You can also address me by my name, or any other name you wish to give me Ayato..”

He chuckles at your words, his lavender eyes carrying a hint of mischief “whatever name I wish hm? Then how about my Daarin?” (Darling in Japanese) you felt your cheeks flush at his teasing, mumbling shyly “I don’t mind..”

Ayato smiled even more, gently holding your hand, intertwining your fingers together as both of you watched the waves crash gently against the shore. He felt true happiness with you, and he was determined to make you fall in love with him. This was the beginning of a new life, this time, with you by his side.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Paul Terdal

Published: Jul 2, 2024

It’s understandable to want to help troubled kids. But the evidence simply isn’t there that unproven drugs and surgeries are what they need.

In our drive to eliminate health inequities, my fellow liberal Democrats and I are eager to help children who identify as transgender. This compassionate urge has led our state, Oregon, to fast-track Medicaid coverage of medical transition services for kids, including puberty-blockers, cross-sex hormones, and surgical removal of breasts and genitals. Yet I’m deeply concerned that in the push for equity, Oregon has ignored evidence, to the point of jeopardizing children’s health. I know from experience that my state can do better to ensure that kids get medically necessary care.

Oregon has long been a national and even international model for evidence-based medicine. I personally encountered my state’s strong commitment to medical science after my two young sons were diagnosed with autism in the late 2000s. At the time, few autism treatments were covered by insurance or Medicaid anywhere in America, so I worked with state leaders and a broader coalition to right that wrong. One key hurdle was Oregon’s Health Evidence Review Commission (HERC), which determines what treatments Medicaid covers and strongly influences the coverage of private health-insurance plans.

HERC held us to its customary high standards for quality of evidence. We organized testimony from some of the world’s leading experts on autism and submitted reams of peer-reviewed journal articles, all of which were rigorously scrutinized by HERC’s experts. We prevailed only after the U.S. Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality published a groundbreaking systematic review that supported the effectiveness of behavioral interventions for autistic children. In 2014, HERC approved Medicaid coverage of such treatments for children like mine. HERC’s wise focus on evidence steered patients and physicians away from risky and unproven interventions that were popular at the time, some of which, such as chelation therapy, reportedly killed autistic children. To this day, I’m grateful for the commission’s high standards.

Yet HERC hasn’t upheld the same standards for gender medicine. To its credit, the commission began looking at this issue in 2012, before gender dysphoria was on the social radar. At the time, based primarily on studies of adults over the age of 30, it concluded that there was “very poor evidence” of benefits of medical interventions for patients. Even so, HERC decided in 2014 to provide comprehensive Medicaid coverage for puberty-blockers, cross-sex hormones, and surgeries for anyone, including children, who identifies as transgender. In a strange departure from its own rules, HERC didn’t run these policies through its evidence-based-guidelines subcommittee. In my fight for autism coverage, that subcommittee was the most important part of the process.

I’m confident the commissioners were trying to help people in what was then a unique situation. At the time, in 2015, the state estimated that very few patients would choose medical transition: according to NPR, “at least 175” patients per year, of all ages. NPR quoted HERC’s medical expert as estimating that the combined total cost for this coverage would be “up to $200,000 — for the whole state.” Yet by 2019, more than 7,500 Oregonians were receiving such treatment, at a cost of over $20 million per year. Based on my analysis of state data, hundreds of children have received some combination of puberty-blockers, cross-sex hormones, and surgeries. None of these procedures have gone through clinical trials to demonstrate their safety and effectiveness, and in the case of hormones, children are receiving drugs that haven’t been approved for such use by the FDA.

Amid this exponential rise, HERC in 2023 commissioned a thorough review of the latest studies. The draft report, which I obtained via a freedom-of-information request, found that the evidence was still very limited. For youth, the investigators reported that they were unable to find any systematic reviews — the key evidence we had to provide for autism coverage — with “extractable data” showing benefits of transgender treatments for children. The report also noted that many lower-quality studies can’t be applied to patients who seek a rapid gender-affirming transition, which is typically the case with children. The report was essentially Oregon’s version of the Cass Report, which the United Kingdom released in April.

Yet Oregon’s report was never finalized, and HERC staff didn’t even present their draft to the body’s 13 commissioners. Instead, after the state passed a law requiring the coverage of “accepted standards of care” for transgender treatments, HERC quickly endorsed guidelines from an advocacy group — without any analysis of the contents. The guidelines are highly aggressive yet based on low-quality evidence. Today, preteen Oregonians can be put on powerful chemicals without FDA approval, before moving on to surgeries as adolescents. These interventions can irreversibly alter their bodies and leave them less likely or even unable to have children of their own later in life. The risks to their physical and mental health are high and, crucially, not justified by existing proof of benefit.

Equity cannot be achieved by ignoring evidence and stripping away consumer protections from historically underserved people. While I deeply sympathize with the goal of helping struggling kids, we can’t accept shortcutting medical ethics — and we didn’t accept it a decade ago, with autism coverage. The ethical path is for HERC to define “accepted standards of care” based on the best science. Medicine is supposed to follow the evidence because health and well-being hang in the balance. The stakes are especially high for children. If we truly want to be equitable, Oregon will stop undermining children’s right to evidence-based medical care.

[ Via: https://archive.today/WcL66 ]

[dotthings]

So this is it. Last episode of Gotham Knights.

Thank you to James Stoteraux and Chad Fiveash for a fantastic finale. And to all the writers and cast and crew who made this beautiful DC series.

Season one gave us a taste of all the places this could go and what this show could be and it was SO GOOD I'm sorry there won't be more of it. There's only a few DC live action TV series that have worked for me over the years, Gotham Knights is among them.

"Batman chose well. Gotham needs its Robin." I LOVE this. Carrie's mom trusting her to look after herself, to stay alive, having seen her daughter in action as Robin, and asking her daughter to go save lives and trusting her to survive in return.

Commissioner Soto!! Knew!!! So...maybe she was the Gordon analogue in this continuity. All this time.

What finally made Harvey give himself over to the Two Face personality, what finally made him fully snap -- HE DID IT TO SAVE HIS DAUGHTER AND THOUSANDS OF LIVES IN GOTHAM. This is a really brilliant re-imagining.

With Turner's parents, I got that there was more to the story. Batman was defending himself from assassins. I didn't expect this version to have Batman actually have killed them, because the Batman doesn't kill idea is so seminal in most continuities including this one--this Batman also had the do not kill code.

He's a precise highly trained fighter, who has a strong code about not killing. So in that fight, something went wrong, he was in deadly peril, or, in defending himself, did something he didn't intend to be a kill, but wound up killing them.

Misha Collins and Olivia Rose-Keegan are hitting it out of the park in all their scenes. Duela with Harvey, Duela with Two Face, two very different dynamics and both riveting.

Misha getting to play Harvey as a regretful father who wants to save his daughter and thousands of lives and make amends and then Misha getting to play completely unhinged scarred, murderous Two Face and Misha floors it in both directions.

GIVE HIM AWARDS I'M NOT KIDDING HE DESERVES NOMINATIONS.

Sadly, because it's the CW network and a superhero show, the critical awards people won't even look at it. But I'm betting industry folks will take note anyway. Bravo, Misha.

I didn't expect Turner to actually be dead, and that tactical team had French accents so I expected Henri Ducard. Still enjoyed that reveal at the end. Guessing they're going with the comics background as inspiration (and would put their own twists on it--and not Nolanverse.) Henri Ducard trained Bruce Wayne. He's not a good guy, but he helped Bruce. I like how this show's plan was to have him train his son too.

And Turner, who wants to live up to his father's legacy, becomes a legacy and inspiration for his friends, to Duela, to keep fighting for Gotham, like Bruce did, like Turner wanted.

I can only guess what the S2 plans were. It's hinting Turner becoming a new kind of Batman eventually, not sure by S2.

The Knights are going to be pissed he didn't tell them he's alive.

The Two Face and Duela stories I'm sure would be riveting.

Steph/Harper and Duela/Turner getting more development and drama. Harper enrolling at Gotham Academy. Cullen would get a boyfriend.

Beyond that, it's a wild card. Two Face likely as a significant villain, but perhaps one who goes after other villains, who ultimately acts to preserve Gotham. Maybe some Owl remnants would be in play?

As it stands, I'm grateful. I got to have this, as a DC fan. I didn't go into this solely as a Misha fan. The bulk of my perspective of this show was as a DC fan, and it was good and I am going to keep saying it was good.

I love the team, I love its beautiful, candle-lit, aged, gothic, old stones and hidden dark corners and dirigibles and pre-war towers Gotham style. It gave, in my opinion, what is the best filmed take on Harvey Dent I've ever seen. The most nuanced and compassionate and unhinged and heartwrenching and frightening and gloriously fun to watch.

And it gave me this amazing and wonderful version of Carrie Kelley's Robin and I think I will miss her most of all.

[newfrontierbackstage]

1,000 views Milestone and more

Hello everyone. Today I have come to talk about the most important milestone the fic has ever reached. A little bit ago, New Frontier reached 1k views on Ao3 and it honestly made me so proud, happy and satisfied with seeing such a number, even after months of hiatus and inactivity. The support that this fic has received is... honestly something I never expected.

If I may go off character for a bit, I want to tell you guys a few guys. I created this fic just for myself, for my own sake and to show the fandom some cool stuff, some action and my type of writing that I tend to like and go for. The first version was very much a showcase of inexperience and lack of understanding for a lot of things when it came to writing, but it was still the most fun I had writing the fic.

Then I went to reread what I had created and written... I started to see the cracks, to see that what I had put on the paper just wasn't as amazing as I first thought it was. So with that in mind, I decided to start going back and rewrite previous chapters, as it felt necessary and I felt it could elevate the story to higher levels and although that was pretty fun at first, it started to drain me pretty bad in the lenghtier chapters. It started to feel like a job.

The chapters have absolutely improved and I feel the fic's direction is in a much better spot, but I had to fight myself to get the motivation to keep going. Being honest, I was very much considering the possibility of dropping the fic on its entirety. as it truly felt that draining and boring to write. I wasn't doing new stuff, I was just rewriting older stuff and noticing my many mistakes!

My friends like CharmmyColour and LonelyLittleShips adviced me to write other parts of the story that were more exciting or thrilling. I honestly didn't think that was going to work out and I still tried to write through Chapter's 5 and 6 with a pessimistic and saddened state of mind.

That was until GoldenTulipLynx (my current cowriter) came into my life a year ago. We started to discuss more of the fic and he actively encouraged me more and more to write a few months ago. He told me to do so at least once a week to get some progress done and I did. It wasn't a perfect process, but it definitely led me to write more. Then he suggested me to write something exciting and for the first time, I actually listened to that advice and...

It worked. It gave me my inspiration back somewhat and it made me want to get writing more and more. If it wasn't for his inspiration and also the encouragement from my other friends, I may have cancelled the fic as a whole, so for that I'm truly grateful to them.

What I'm also grateful for is have fans and followers that have been patient, loyal and comprehensive towards the fic's state and progress. This took so long because I wanted to give you guys something worthy of that much of a wait and also have fun while doing so.

I really wanted this message to be special, as I felt the ocassion was the perfect time to do so. Truly, thank you guys. Thank you for still being here and I hope you look forward to what else I have cooking up.

And because I knew this was such a special ocassion/milestone, I also wanted to give you guys something exceptional, so with that in mind... I commissioned some art for New Frontier as a treat for you guys, one that displays Cavendish with his rifle in a wonderful forest, one that's going to be the usual hangout spot for him and Dakota.

This is my gift to you, everyone. Hope you have a good day/afternoon/evening/night and I'll see y'all down the trail!

With love: hypersonicJD

Edit: I have removed the background of this piece as I have found out it was been AI generated. I do not condone anything AI generated and thus, the commissioner's credits have been removed as well and I would like everyone to reblog this new version of this post.

[almaadst]

Commission rules update!

Hello everyone ｡^‿^｡ New Year, new updated rules! I wanted to make the post here to summarize all the changes because I know the majority of people who order from me follow me here. This is a short version of the changes the more detailed file you can find HERE.

The longest time of commission delivery is 3 weeks now.

The time in which the commissioner has to reply to my messages are 24 hours.

I don't accept only descriptions for the character design.

You have to send the payment within 24 hours.

You can cancel the order at any stage we are and the refund amount I will calculate individually.

In case I had to drop the commissions because of personal problems (like health) I will calculate the refund amount individually depending on the stage we are in.

If you cancel/move your reservation on the waiting list two times in a row I will have to charge you in case you want to reserve a spot for the third time. I will calculate the fee amount individually.

I described in more detail what the options for which I have a discount include (canon x oc, cover art, comic page).

The "soft NSFW" artwork has a fee which is 10% of the whole price.

I added/changed this for your and my comfort and to make the whole process clearer without wasting each other time. I hope this does not sound too harsh LOL The big majority of people who commission from me are doing it already and are so pleasant to work with, they are always on time and respectful which I am very grateful for ( ˘ ³˘)♥ If you have any questions feel free to ask! The commission prices will not change in 2024 and you can check them HERE! Love U all, Alex 🌷

[iluvnewports]

Tear You Apart

Miguel O’Hara one shot where you purposely piss him off so he’ll pay more attention to you. Boy, you should’ve thought that one through.

18+

tumblr always fucks up my italics and underlines. sigh. let’s pretend i’m not too lazy to go back through and redo them

—

You cross your legs over one another as you lean against the taxi’s door, pushing yourself into the corner so hard as if you could disappear like a hermit into a cave. Your heart pangs a bit in your chest, guilt rising to your throat.

No. No, this is well deserved. An outsider’s perspective would call you selfish, insensitive. But you’re not the only one who sacrificed things when you fell in love with NYC’s finest Spider-Man. You almost chuckle to yourself. Loved and feared by millions, it’s such a fine line. Thousands would kill to be in your place, so at least be grateful… right?

That’s what they’d say because they idolize him. You did too once, so you understand to an extent. But you know him as Miguel—your Miguel. It seems he doesn’t see himself that way anymore, though. Lately, it’s as if he’s Spider-Man all the time.

Dinner gone cold, nights spent alone with his side of the bed untouched—you untouched—notes instead of conversation. You tried to let it go, and you brought it up. You two always communicate with one another before it gets out of hand.

You open your phone to take another look at his text just an hour ago. Last night he promised you two would go out tonight, for dinner and drinks. Then time at home, a movie, and maybe a bath. You were excited.

Miguel <3

Gonna be late, meeting with the Commissioner.

(10:03 p.m ✓)

You chuckle to yourself bitterly as you place your phone back down into your lap, the hem of your dress riding up your thighs a little too much. Satin black, the exact dress you were wearing the night you two met. You haven’t worn it again since, he gets a bit handsy when he notices the way other men look at you; pulling you tighter, squeezing your ass. He gets jealous, very jealous, and so easily.

It’s perfect for the occasion. Not only that, but it draws the eye of a lot of people; not that you need the dress to do that.

The taxi pulls up to the curb outside of the bar you directed him to, people lingering around the entrance, smoking and talking and laughing. You should’ve invited your friends but you knew this night out wasn’t going to last too long. Only until Miguel notices you’re gone.

You know it won’t take long either. Not when he notices that your location is off.

After showing your ID to the bouncer and ordering a drink at the bar—something sweet, the way you like it—you sip it leisurely as you stand alone and watch the people around you. It’s packed in here, which you expected. It’s a Saturday night after all. It’s so loud you can hardly hear the jukebox playing despite it being maybe ten feet away. It hums a tired tune you can’t quite decipher but you can feel the melody in your fingertips.

You hold the cool glass as your lips wrap around the thin black straw, eyes darting around the room. You notice couples amongst it all and your heart sinks further. You miss Miguel, it should’ve been both of you standing here, talking and laughing over one another, fading into the background like any other couple. He’d become flushed with whiskey and he’d begin to grab at you knowingly and kiss your head. He just couldn’t help but show you off and parade you two together.

Miguel has never cared for the attention of other women, none but yours. He shows you off specifically so women stay away and men can be envious.

You’re deep in thought, back against the walls as you cross your ankle behind the other and realize your straw is simply stirring the ice with no drink left. You clear your throat, placing it on a high top nearby as you check your phone.

Miguel <3

Where are you?

(11:09 p.m ✓)

Mi Vida?

(11:10 p.m ✓)

?

(11:10 p.m ✓)

Miguel <3 Missed Call (2)

Miguel <3

Did you turn your location off?

(11:11 p.m ✓)

Miguel <3 Missed Call (1)

Miguel <3

??

(11:14 p.m ✓)

You don’t open your phone because your read receipts are on and your stomach hangs in guilt. Maybe you should go home. Maybe you should call him, it’s been about fifteen minutes since his last text and you’re wondering what could be going through his head right now.

You start to think maybe you’ve gone too far with this all. But before you can weigh the consequences of it, you feel hot breath on the side of your face, as well as grazing fingertips on your arm. The breath is hot and reeks of alcohol and stale peanuts and you physically cringe. The touch is unfamiliar, cold, and you instantly know it isn’t Miguel by the height of the mouth and the feel of his fingers.

You lower your phone and there’s a short, blonde man stumbling next to you. You firmly pull your arm away, tsking to yourself in disgust. You’re no damsel in distress and you certainly don’t find the need to be polite to some drunken asshole.

“Can I help you?” You sneer.

The man drunkenly smiles which makes you cringe. You’re taller than him in your heels and you’ve never realized what a short man epidemic there was in New York.

“What’s a pretty girl—“

“Like me doing in a place like this all alone?” You finish his sentence with an eye roll. What a cliche. “I’m waiting for someone.” You murmur to yourself, wishing you had just stayed home.

“That’s not what I see.” He slurs, stumbling slightly as he leans against the wall next to you. “If you were mine I’d never let you go out like that alone.” His eyes crawl up and down your body, glued to your exposed thighs. It makes your skin crawl.

“I guess it’s a good thing she isn’t.” A voice rips from behind the man and your head turns so fast your neck almost snaps at the speed. There Miguel stood, his tall, broad body a clear contrast against the blonde man’s, able to see from his breastplate above. He’s in his casual clothes; casual for home, not too casual for going out, though. A black t-shirt and gray sweatpants that both hug him in the best ways.

The man turns around after hearing Miguel’s intimidating, rich voice, first face to face with his chest before craning back his neck. He mumbles something before quickly scurrying away. You hug yourself as you push back into the wall, feeling like a deer caught in headlights. Miguel chuckles, lifting his chin as he takes you in.

Taking a large step forward and closing the distance between you two, he momentarily closes his eyes and exhales through his nose as you cross your arms over your chest and look up to him through large, guilt-ridden eyes. He gives a tight-lipped smile, pissed but maintaining his composure.

He’s so tall and there are only a few moments where you’ve felt intimidated by it; now was one of those times. His eyes rake over your figure, his large hand coming up so his fingers pad along your skin. He hums to himself, watching the way his fingers dance along your exposed shoulder. “You look nice, Mami.”

He inhales sharply again as he steps closer, little distance between the two of you now. Your head cranes back to look up at him. “I haven’t seen this dress in a while.” He remarks as he smooths a finger over the thin strap running up your shoulder.

“You’re here.” You say flatly. No, no you don’t feel bad, not at all. He broke his promise, he abandoned you again.

“You wanted my attention? Well, you got it.” Miguel whispers, lowering himself to your ear level as he takes a loose strand of hair between his thumb and forefinger to inspect. His calmness even when he’s infuriated is admirable, yet all the more intimidating.

“Do I?” You question with furrowed brows, pushing up onto your feet fully as you lean in to enunciate your point, eyes moving between both of his brown ones. They seem darker tonight. You cross your arms back over your chest. “Because it seems like I have to do a hell of a lot to get it.” Your nose scrunches as you whisper harshly, which he notices. He’s always thought it was cute, his eyes landing on your nose before flickering back to your eyes.

“¿Que se supone que significa eso?” He growls, getting as much in your face as you’re in his. It isn’t violent, no, it isn’t accusatory. It’s hurt. “What is that supposed to mean?” He repeats, now in English.

“You promised—!”

“I know what I promised.” He slices a firm hand through the air, exhaling slowly as his eyes fall shut. “You know I’d rather be with you but I’m working. I work so you don’t have to worry, so you can be safe.”

Miguel wipes a hand down his face as he sighs again, shaking his head again. “We’re going home.”

“You’re going home. I’m having a good time.” You back away, leaning back against the wall to resume looking at the others around you.

“It really seems like it.” Miguel tilts his head to survey your expression before grabbing your arm. “We’re leaving.”

You pull your arm from his grasp. Miguel grits his teeth, shaking his head. “You’re going to stay?”

You nod. He breathes out slowly, calming himself as his face grows neutral. He nods to himself, which causes you to raise a brow. “Fine. Don’t mind me, then.”

You cock a brow. “You’re staying?”

“If you are.” He nods, leaning against the wall next to you.

You huff in annoyance, rolling your eyes as you leave him and strut back to the bar to order another drink. You wait patiently, leaning against the bar top as your eyes scan the drink specials written on a chalkboard. You settle for another sweet drink.

The bartender turns to you, wiping his hands with a towel before throwing it over his shoulder. Your eyes wander his chest and his large muscles and you smile while batting your lashes. He flashes a perfect set of teeth, bright beneath the LED lights. “What can I get for you, darling?”

“Can I have a long island?” You smile, leaning in and pushing your breasts together with your inner arms. He notices this, eyes trailing to your chest before flickering back to your face with a smile. He nods. “Anything for a pretty girl like you.”

You hum a smile, acting coy. That’s one thing that stood out with Miguel when you first met him; he didn’t bombard you with sweet talk that you’re sure he used with any pretty girl who showed him the smallest shred of attention. No, he was just charming in himself, the way you spoke with such respect and confidence. So sad that something so basic can become so unheard of and wanted.

You miss your lover and you wish you didn’t have to be in this situation, but you’re both too stubborn to back down, even when each other is at risk. But you both know that you couldn’t shake him even if you tried.

You look over your shoulder as you wait for your drink, Miguel standing a few tables away, simply watching you as his arms cross over his chest and his thumb taps his forearm. He’s jealous but he’s giving you your space. He stands so tall above the crowd, he’s like a beacon for you to always come back to. God, he’s so tall. It would almost be intimidating if you didn’t know any better.

After giving your last name for your tab, the bartender slides your drink across the counter top and you grab it with light hands, sipping it flirtatiously with thanks. He’s too busy to keep his eye on you, to entertain you though; he has a job to do, after all.

You lean against the bar, poking your ass out with an arched back as you sip your drink slowly, humming to yourself. Your hair gathers to one side over your shoulder as you look up at the LED lights with a squint. A sigh escapes your lips as you wonder how long Miguel will let this charade run until he’s dragging you out by force.

You make a choice: you flag down the bartender and close out your tab, taking one last drag from your drink before pushing yourself from the bar and slipping through the crowd and out the bar door. Despite your apartment being about twenty blocks away, you turn on the sidewalk and begin walking. You don’t bother to look behind you to know Miguel is close behind.

You turn a corner into an abandoned alley, hearing Miguel’s footsteps follow you. As soon as you’re in deep enough, you turn around and forcefully push his abdomen in the direction of the wall, though he doesn’t budge. You scowl aloud, throwing your hands up in frustration.

“Fuck you!” You yell. He grabs your elbows so you can’t move or push him further.

He’s silent. You push at him again, trying to free yourself, but it doesn’t work. Your anger is boiling over at this point.

You push against him again and he lets go, the both of you staring at one another as your lips part in a pant. He looks just as angry as you are and for good reason.

“I didn’t know where you were.” He mumbles, shaking his head. “Do you know what that’s like? I thought someone might’ve…” He can’t even bring himself to finish his sentence. He swallows.

“And thank god Lyla could ping your location after dumping your phone.” He mutters under his breath with a head shake, letting out a bitter chuckle.

“You dumped my phone?” Your brows furrow in anger as your tone fluctuates as you scoff.

“What did you want me to do? You were gone, your location was off. What am I supposed to do?” Miguel grits his teeth.

You almost laugh in his face at the way he feels so entitled. “Has it ever occurred to you that I could just be out? I have a life outside you, you know.”

You both stare at one another again. The way the yellow street light hits the side of his face makes his features look softer than usual, and you know it’s pure illusion, considering how pissed he is. “I think you should leave.” You mumble, crossing your arms as you stare at your feet. Your lashes are feeling extra heavy right now. “…For a few days.”

Miguel shakes his head, his anger boiling over. “¿Cómo me puedos preguntar eso? Hm?” He grabs you by your shoulders so you’re forced to look at him. He mutters in Spanish under his breath, shaking his head again. You’re still learning, but you know the extent of what he’s saying; how could you say such a thing? Ask him to leave you.

“I’m not leaving you.” He says firmly. Tears well in your eyes, you push at him, but his hands go to grab your arms again so you can’t push him. You pull away but still, he doesn’t budge.

A push and a smack, a kick, it’s all effective. He’s bent down so you’re face to face, breathing so heavily, tears streaming down your face. Your heart is heavy and you miss him already, despite him standing in front of you. And in the heat of the moment, you throw yourself at him instead, attaching your lips to his as you, at first, kiss him deeply.

Miguel grabs the small of your back, pulling him against you harshly as he straightens up and picks you up to follow, your lips never parting as your kisses become more and more hungry and needy. You bite down on his bottom lip harshly and he winces a groan, fingertips digging into your back and a hand cupping your ass in what could be support, but you know better; he could lift you with one arm if need be.

Your feet meet ground again and he pushes you into the building behind you as he hunches down to meet your mouth. Your hands stroke his face gently as he finds the back of your thigh to lift your leg against his side. You pull away, breathing heavily as he kisses your cheek, trailing kisses down to your chin and neck as you dive your hands to dig into his thick hair.

You tug at his roots as he leaves sloppy kisses down your skin, licking and nipping as you pant into open air over his shoulder. You can see his back, one hand sauntering down to scratch back up it as he groans into your ear. With one hand lifting your leg, the other tangles into your hair, his thumb resting on your cheek as his fingers tug at your scalp.

Your eyes pinch shut as you buck your hips, your cunt exposed to the air as he pushes into you, growing wetter and wetter with every kiss that’s planted on your skin.

Miguel feverishly kisses you again, but only for a moment before pulling away and looking at you with parted lips. Your cheeks are still wet, wiping at your tears. You swallow thickly, taking a moment to breathe and realize the predicament you’ve both found yourself in.

“What do you want mi vida?” He breathes a whisper.

Your hands find your way back to his cheeks, holding his face and analyzing his features to appreciate the man in front of you. Your thumbs stroke his cheeks. “You.” You whisper.

Miguel nods, straightening up as he lets your leg down gently before gripping your waist, pulling you into him, kneeling down so you can lock your arms around his neck. With one last look around, he shoots a web out and you two are pulled from the ground in seconds, speeding up the building's side as he keeps one arm locked around your waist. Before you can reach the top, he shoots another, swinging from building to building as you hike your legs up to secure yourself. You brush over his bulging erection and he sighs a quick groan, now swinging faster.

Now amongst higher buildings, Miguel shoots his webbing mid-swing against a very tall apartment building, creating a thick webbed-like bed that he swings into and lays you down on. You gasp, afraid to let go. He knows you hate heights.

“I’ve got you.” He purrs, coming down on top of you, two hands on either side of your head. “I’ve got you baby.”

You look around you, the wind blowing in your face as you see the city twinkle below you. You’re tucked into a small nook near the roof, your arms never leaving his back as you hold on. You look back at him, seeing his eyes are dark with lust. “Couldn’t wait to get home?”

He shakes his head, his fangs poking just below his bottom lip as he looks at you with parted lips. Oh. He dives back into your neck, kissing you as his hands pin your hips to the web, grinding harshly against your cunt. You moan out, and he nips you a little too hard with his fangs, causing you to wince and cry out a bit into his ear.

He shushes you, picking you up off the web so he can grind into your harsher as you let out a whimper. He hovers above you, looking down at the friction between you two. Miguel licks his lips at your desperation, his claws digging into your ass as he lifts you up, not enough pressure to break the skin but enough to make you stir in his arms.

You buck your hips against his hardness, wanting it to hit your clit just right. He lets out a low chuckle.

“So impatient.” Miguel tsks.

You moan. “Please.”

“Why should I?” He pauses his movements which causes you to let out a whimper at the loss of pressure. You shake your head.

“Trying to make me jealous?” He kisses your chest slowly but doesn’t resume grinding which makes you pout. He hums between the kisses, vibrating your skin. “Make me watch you as you parade yourself to other men.” He sighs into your skin.

“You’re mine.” One hand comes up beneath you to grip your hair harshly, pulling it so your head tilts upwards. He bites your breast, puncturing it slightly with his fangs, crimson blood pooling at the small wound. You moan mixed with a wince. “Say it.”

You hesitate. Not because you’re unsure but because all that’s on your mind is pure sex and you can’t concentrate. He pulls your hair again which causes you to whimper. “Say it.” He demands. “You’re mine. You will always be mine.”

You pant out. His tone is demanding and aggressive, staking his claim over you. “I’m yours.” You nod, swallowing gently. “I’ll always be yours.”

“Good girl.” He whispers into your ear, releasing his grip on your hair and running his hands down your sides to lift your ass up and stroke into you.

“You want this?” He asks and you nod, pleading with him as you whine.

Without another word, he untucks himself from his pants, aggressively pulling your dress up. No time for foreplay, not when you’re this wet.

Palming his cock, he wipes his finger over his tip before aligning it with your cunt, swiping it up and down your slit as you shudder and moan, clenching at the feeling already. You let out a high moan as he continues to swipe up and down, slapping it onto the top of your pussy before inserting the tip into your entrance slowly.

You gasp. Even after all this time, you’re still shocked by how big he is. It fills you every time, stretching you out to remember it. He gives a little push and quickly pulls out, teasing your entrance and you fall into a string of moans and curses as he cups the top of your pussy and rubs your clit.

“Fuck,” your eyes fall close as your brows pull together. Miguel shushes you again.

“It’s not even in yet baby, not all the way. Yet you’re a mess for me.” He whispers, igniting chills over your skin.

He completely thrusts into you with no warning, walking your cunt up and pushing it to make room for him. Miguel has always been slow, sensual, considerate, but not right now. No, you pissed him off, and now he’s taking it out on you. You wince, the feeling of it all being too much.

Falling into you, one hand presses down on your lower stomach as he leans onto his other arm, fisting your hair. “You can take it.” He says as he begins to pound you with little mercy, causing you to lose your own voice and go mute for a moment.

“That’s it, you can take it.” He purrs and you find your voice again, deeply inhaling as you let out soft cries. Your walls adjust around him, allowing him access as his tip hits something deep inside you, hammering it over and over in a mix of pain and pleasure.

His face buries into your neck as he moans uncontrollably, though he hates to give you the satisfaction of knowing you love when he’s vocal. He’s teaching you a lesson, he cannot let himself fall blind within his pleasure deep within your pussy.

It feels as if something is missing, that you’re incomplete as your clit is unattended to since he usually takes care of it himself. Your hand falls down to your clit and he snatches it back before you can touch yourself, holding it up against your head as you scratch his back in retaliation, shaking his head. “Good girls deserve good things. But you weren’t very nice, were you…?”

You whine, clenching around him which causes him to grit his teeth as he yanks at your scalp. He pumps into your harsher, if that were even possible, faster, as if in a blind rage. Your entrance begins to burn at the friction, but it feels so good, you can’t bring yourself to protest.

Your stomach begins to bulge and feel full, bloated. His hand goes back down and rests on it, feeling the way he fills you and loving it. He lets out a long moan followed by a curse, his head falling back as he slows his strokes, grinding into you at a much more controlled pace.

Your hand travels to his abdomen, feeling the hardness of it and the way he flexes as he strokes into you. Now towering above you, his other hand coming up to rest over yours. You can feel the web sag beneath your combined weight, though you can’t bring yourself to be cautious or care enough about it snapping.

You’re dating Spider-man, after all. Though unpleasant and embarrassing, he’d save you.

You love the way he feels beneath your fingertips. You feel yourself tighten up, clenching around him as you’re riding to the top of your upcoming orgasm. He can tell, moving his hand from atop yours to cup your face. “You want to cum, baby?”

You nod, lips parted as you breathe out in pants. He rubs your face, his other hand moving to squeeze the inside of your thigh as he cradles your face. Miguel sighs with a nod. He’s feeling generous tonight.

“You want to cum all over my cock, mi belle?” He encourages the question and you moan in reply. He nods to himself, holding himself back as well.

His thumb goes down to rub your clit and you choke on your whine, slightly raising yourself up only for him to push you back down into the web. “Cum for me mami.”

The sensation of his cock hitting your spot and his thumb sensually rubbing your clit pushes you over and edge and you gasp out in silence, Miguel rocking into you at a consistent rate so you’re filled up to the brim, unsure whether or not you can contain yourself. Everything swims in your head: your fight, the way he kissed you, the way he held your elbows until you calmed down.

“Fuck!” You scream out as you reach your climax, pulling Miguel down into you as you wrap your arms and legs around him in need of him closer as he fucks you. You bury your face into his neck, breathing hard as you go rigid against him and he holds you in his arms, whispering sweet words into your ear as he kisses your cheek gently.

“Fuck,” you breathe out another cry as your legs shake.

As you ride out your high, your cunt tingling as your body falls into itself, Miguel picks up his pace in fucking you as he groans and moans into your skin and you clench against his cock.

“Oh fuck, I love you.” He moans as he leaves sloppy, wet kisses along your collarbone, spreading your ass apart as he fills you with cum. You feel his cock twitch inside you, that’s how big he is so that you’re left with little leeway, and you feel a warmth within your stomach as he pounds into your cervix. You rub his back as you pant, returning his comforting praise as he did you.

He empties his seed into you. “Never leave me.” He pleads amongst his high, and you agree, feeling the way his strokes become sloppy, messy. “I’ll never leave you.” You whisper as he groans, pulling out of you with a sigh, looking down between the two of you as he pants.

Sweat gleams his forehead and you push back his hair from his face, admiring the way he glows atop you with swollen lips parted in heavy breath. He pulls your dress down before tucking himself back into his pants, your legs falling from his sides as he kisses you deeply.

“I…” He begins, trailing off, dropping his head with a sigh. “Los siento, mi amor.”

You hush him, bringing a finger to his lips to stop him. He kisses it and you smile. “I shouldn’t have made you jealous.” You admit, caressing his face as you push his hair back. “I just… wanted you to pay attention to me.”

“I always do mi vida.” He kisses you again. “But I haven’t done a good job of expressing it lately, have I?”

You shake your head and he chuckles. “I’ll do better.” He tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear and you nod in agreement.

“Okay.” You hum, smiling as you peck a quick kiss on his lips. “Let’s go home then, yeah? It’s freezing.” You shiver slightly.

He chuckles with a nod, pulling you close to him as he shoots out a web. “Let’s go home.”