#she is so serious its so unfunny

[vahloksekelle]

emerging from my hiatus to post some works that’ve been sitting in my files … have some elder scrolls art of my dovahkiin, Xiryna, and her owl Tsun. bro would def have rather stayed in sovngarde

[wynnyfryd]

Trailer park Steve AU part 10

part 1 | part 9 | ao3

cw: recreational drinking

When they get to Eddie’s trailer, Steve’s mom is sitting on the couch, eyes unblinking as she watches the TV.

There’s just static on the screen.

“Steve?” she slurs when she finally realizes they’re there. Sways a little when she stands. There’s a dreamy quality to her voice, a blank look on her tired face: agreeable but distant, a smudge of campfire smoke curling far over the trees.

Double-dosed her pills again. Jesus Christ.

“Oh, Stevie, baby, it was just awful.” She reaches out for him, and he wishes he could find comfort in the way she cups his elbows with delicate hands. Wishes he could lean into her touch and offer comfort in return, but her tone is so dull and mild that bile rises in his throat. Chemical calm bullshit, and Steve has had enough.

“Ma, just…” he sighs, shrugging her off. Scrubs a hand over his face. Too young and too old for this. “Just go home, okay?” The street is quiet again, all the neighbors tucked back in their houses now that the show has run its course. He doesn’t think anyone will notice her stumbling across the road. “Get some rest. I’ll be over in a bit.”

“Sure, baby.” He leads her to the door, and she turns there on the threshold, eyes glassy and unfocused; looks through him like he’s a ghost. Then her gaze shifts around the room — the hats, the mugs, the clutter; the lived-in explosion of color that Steve’s annoyed he likes so much — like she’s just seeing it all for the first time, and absently, she murmurs, “This place is dreadful, isn’t it?”

“Mom.”

“Hmm?” she asks, but she’s already drifting out the door.

Steve’s face is on fire. He stands there for a moment, just staring dumbly out into the dark. What the hell is wrong with her??

Behind him, Eddie snorts. "Oh, she’s on the good shit, huh?”

Steve whips his head around. Eddie’s eyes are full of mirth, his dimple peeking out, and it startles a laugh out of Steve. He thinks maybe he’d take offense if he weren't so busy being mortified.

But also, like.

It is a little funny.

Or maybe it’s so unfunny that it circles back around.

“Jesus, man,” he huffs, “Sorry. I don’t— I don’t know why she…”

“S’fine,” Eddie says with a casual flick of his wrist. Seems like he means it. He rocks back on his heels, hands in his back pockets, just sort of eyeing Steve up. Assessing. Running his tongue over his lips. They're big, for a guy's. “…You want a beer?”

“Fuck.” That sounds so nice. “Yeah. Please.”

“Have a seat.”

Steve takes the offer when Eddie nods at the couch, too tired to do the whole song and dance of ‘oh heavens no, I couldn’t possibly impose.’ Who’s got the energy for that?

The couch is old. His skull thuds against the un-cushioned back when he sinks down into it, but he’s too tired to care. Worn out as the lumpy springs under his ass, the frayed fabric beneath his arm. A wave of exhaustion rattles his bones, reverberates in his teeth. He thinks he could sleep for sixteen years.

Eddie clears his throat when he comes back with the beers, a sudden cautiousness about him as he hands Steve an unopened can like Steve might claw him in return.

"Sit down," Steve rolls his eyes. "I'm not gonna bite."

Eddie makes a strangled noise. The springs bounce as he plops onto the seat beside Steve, sitting sideways with one leg up on the couch between them, his arm resting on the back. "So, ah...." He gives a wavering chuckle; pulls a lock of hair across his face to hide himself. "Is this the part where I formally apologize for trying to knife you?"

Ugh. No the fuck it isn't. Steve’s too drained for it, absolutely at capacity for more serious shit this evening, thanks; and besides that, it was...

Whatever. It's old news.

Instead of giving a real answer he reaches into his pocket, snicks his own knife open and pretends to brandish it at Eddie, asking, "Eye for an eye?"

Eddie's eyes go huge. "Dude, what the fuck??"

"Just fucking with you," Steve laughs, lifting the can up to his mouth. "But there; now we're even. Shoulda seen your face."

“Ah—!” Eddie’s jaw drops in offense. “Ex-cuse you!”

God, of course he’s more dramatic than all the kids combined.

Steve jabs the knife into his beer, pops the top and starts to chug, throat working as he gulps the whole thing down in four big sips. It tastes like frothy, bitter piss, but it's cold and it soothes the scratch in his throat.

Eddie lets out a low whistle. "Well, goddamn, Harrington."

"Is that supposed to impress me?" "You're not?"

Steve grins and wipes his mouth.

—

They get drunk pretty fast (Eddie refused to be upstaged in his own house, so one shot-gunned beer became two became four), and somewhere along the line the conversations get weird; hilarious and dumb. Saying shit just to say it, chipping away at the ice wall between them with bare fingernails.

Eddie hollers some shit like: "What are you even talking about?" and his arms fling out wide, almost spilling his beer. "The deep sea is so much scarier than the mountains!"

"Are you joking?" Steve throws back. "The mountains have, like, giant cats and shit! Birds of prey with wingspans the size of your van."

"Yeah, and the deep sea has eldritch monsters that live in volcano vents and hunt with no eyes and eat their young for fun or whatever the fuck. You ever heard of an anglerfish? Or a phantom anglerfish? Tell me that shit isn't right out of a Lovecraft story."

"A what story?"

"How am I the one who hasn’t graduated yet?"

Then later:

“Dude, Batman? Seriously?”

“He’s the world’s greatest detective!”

“He’s a greasy little weirdo. You only like him because of your whole…” Steve gestures at his tattoos.

“Whatever, Spiderfan.”

And later still:

"Okay, okay, okay. Fuck, marry, kill... Shit. Y’know this would really be easier in a town where so many people hadn’t died."

Steve grimaces at himself; expects Eddie to call him out. It’s too insensitive, too soon.

Eddie just cracks a grin and suggests, "Fuck, marry, revive?"

—

They talk for a long time. Eddie's kind of charming when he's not being a dick. A nice smile, deep laugh lines. Steve can almost see why the kids are so obsessed with him. He's never met someone so animated; feels like he's talking to a Saturday morning cartoon. The conversation mellows out after a while, and he doesn't realize he's dozed off until Eddie shakes him awake.

"Hey, man," he says, voice just above a whisper. "I'm going to bed. You're welcome to crash on the couch, but, uh,” he scratches the back of his neck, “I mean, your back is probably gonna hate you for it."

Steve rubs his fists against his eyelids and blinks himself awake. Feels jittery and weird, yanked out of the start of a bad dream. When he looks up he sees that he’s got his shoes up on the couch; and there’s dried drool on his chin, and all at once he feels embarrassed, off-balance and panicked like he missed the last step down a steep flight of stairs. Of course he's overstayed his welcome. He's being fucking rude. "My bad," he mutters as he jumps up off the couch. Stands up way too fast, makes his vision tilt and swirl. "I'll get out of your hair."

Eddie reaches for his arm. "Dude,” he says, “you're fine. You can stay if you want.”

Steve moves out of his hold. “Nah, get some sleep; I’ll see ya around.”

Eddie frowns at him, a little furrow between his brows, and somehow Steve feels like he’s in the wrong, like Eddie isn’t the one who just kicked him out.

Like maybe Steve’s just running away for a second time in one night. Always back and away, this guy.

Who's the fucking coward now?

—

part 11

y'all know the drill, tagging whoever commented on yesterday's installment provided your tumblr settings let me <;3 @thealwithnoname @violetsteve @manda-panda-monium @stuftzombie @bronwenmarie @aliea82 @slowandsteddie @acedorerryn @anne-bennett-cosplayer @ahsokatanoss @steveshairspray @hallucinatedjosten @estrellami-1 @ppunkpuppyy @stevesbipanic @silver-snaffles @yourmom-isgay @eddie-munsons-missing-nipple @zombiecreatures @im-a-disgrace-to-humanity @faery-god @hotluncheddie @runninriot @a-little-unsteddie @teatimeeverybody @newtstabber @pearynice @hellion-child @cuips-not-cute @steddieas-shegoes @steves-strapcollection @loguine-linguine @griefabyss69

[comicaurora]

YOU WATCHED CENTAURWORLD?!

YOU USED IT AS AN EXAMPLE IN THE TROPE TALK!!!!

It is my favorite and I require to know your thoughts on it.

It's. Hm

So I think it absolutely accomplished what it set out to do, which means it is a successful work of art. But I think what it was aiming for didn't work for me?

In its efforts to play with centaurworld's ridiculousness versus the gritty nightmare of the "real world", it tonally undercuts almost all of its profound moments and then tries to get profound character moments out of squeeky-toy inflatable cartoon characters. Of the main cast, Horse and Wammawink are basically the only ones who get sufficient development to feel like real characters capable of carrying impactful moments, and the rest of the crew are basically walking punchlines - even speedrunning their respective Tragic Backstories doesn't do much to strengthen them, because in the present of the show they're fundamentally joke characters incapable of emotional subtlety. It kinda feels like if a Looney Tunes episode randomly dropped a flashback to baby Daffy Duck being moses'd into the bullrushes as if that mattered to how he functioned now. Plus, once we start jumping back to the Real World again, it turns out all those characters are also wacky in their own way - lots of very quippy dialogue and self-referential humor. Instead of Horse feeling broadly representative of her world's tone, she feels like the most serious character in the entire show - at least until season 2 where her dialogue starts being 50% fart jokes by volume.

Overall I think I loved what they set up in season 1, but not how they paid it off in season 2. There's the themes they establish in season 1 of how centaurworld has a cartoonifying effect on everyone who comes there, and the way this plays to Horse early on is full on cartoon body horror - a realistic horse slowly and inexorably transforming into a parody of itself. I thought that was a fascinating way to frame it, and it was nightmarish to contemplate! It comes to a really strong head in the Whaletaur Shaman episode when her friends seem to finally realize how much she's been struggling and suffering and how, despite it looking like a big joke to everyone, it's profoundly unfunny to her. But while she gets a nice emotional resolution at the end of that episode, the underlying horror is never addressed again. She still seems unhappy with her new cartoon body, but the transformations are from this point forward framed as uncomplicated positives that everybody thinks are funny.

It's purposefully blending comedy and horror together, but the execution feels like the disparate ingredients are hindering each other's effectiveness. The horror stuff rarely gets sufficient gravity and is just left as Hey Look Horrifying Implications, and the jokes are often undermined by all the seriousness left lying around. It's a flavor combination that doesn't work for me.

And then the stuff with the Deertaur and the Princess is incredibly interesting and profound and tragic, and I don't understand why it's happening in the same show as everything else?

Also, this is a minor nitpick, but the musical numbers were astounding in the first season but seemed to experience some sort of weird categorical downgrade in season 2. All the solid numbers were reprises from season 1.

Centaurworld was doing something very much on purpose, and I just don't think I got what that something was.

[emeraldspiral]

Something I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone talk about before is how Invader Zim is one of the funniest goddamn series ever created and it hardly ever relies on snark or sarcasm for its humor.

Like, people talk about the Whedonizing of modern media where everyone is constantly snarking and quipping at each other and undermining their own narratives with bathos and winks to the audience to let them know they’re self-aware about how stupid everything is so we can think they’re cool instead of “corny”.

But IZ never does that. IZ doesn’t care about making its characters look cool. They’re supposed to be losers, so it’s okay for everyone to be unabashedly, passionately self-serious about everything, no matter how stupid. GIR, the character most beloved for generating the most laughs, is never sarcastic at all. He is simply not capable of it. All the jokes surrounding GIR are based on him acting like a hyperactive puppy combined with a hyperactive toddler. Zim and Dib do not "trade barbs", they throw lame schoolyard insults back and forth and taunt each other with threats of a horrible fate. They do not make smug, snide remarks about how stupid everyone else is, they rant and rave about how disgusted they are with everyone's stupidity. Even Gaz, whose main character trait is apathy, doesn't really make sarcastic comments or "quips" often. Most of what she says is just variations on "You're bugging me, go away". And it's not for the sake of being cool. Gaz isn't self-conscious and putting down Dib's dorky interests to distance herself from him, she's just genuinely annoyed. She's not truly detatched and dispassionate. She is constantly teetering on the edge of losing it because she actually does care, a lot. It's just that what she cares about is being left alone with her video games, her pizza, and her dad.

The only character on the show I’d describe as habitually sarcastic is Ms. Bitters, and her apathy isn’t meant to be “cool” either. She’s just punching down at children to demoralize them because she’s a miserable old bitch.

Ironically, IZ came out with FOP, and 80% of Butch Harman's sense of humor is making bad, unfunny puns and then having characters groan and sigh and roll their eyes at how bad the puns were as if that makes it any funnier.

[nexility-sims]

𝐍𝐎. 𝟒   ❛ 𝐝𝐨𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 ❜   |   LEONOR'S APARTMENT, MID MARCH 1991

❧  𝐝𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲  /  𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠  /  𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬  /  𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭.

❛ Lleida had made her name as a funny girl who could lull Uspana’s beautiful people into a kind of conviviality that dissipated their guard. Even the most reticent fell into revealing laughter under the push and prod of her humor. She asked hard questions with the concerned forwardness of a good friend, too. Her knack for levity wasn’t just disarming; it made her guests candid, smoothly masking vulnerability with amusement and self-deprecation. These people, she knew, appreciated such a mask. They were keen to be seen but never truly visible, entertaining but never exposed. They loved to laugh—with, at, rarely alone. Lleida, possessed of a demeanor that was as much innate as mastered, threaded that needled for them. They unspooled, and she led them to the point.  Princess Safya had never required such cajoling to give people what they wanted, perhaps because it allowed her to do so on her own terms.

❧ this is another post (prose included) that came together months and months ago ... it was actually the first television excerpt i planned ! it's not perfect, but i like it well enough. in retrospect, i should've focused the prose on what's happening at the end of the scene, but i ran out of juice and also time :^) if u can believe it, we're onto fun stuff after this, i promise !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐞𝐝 & 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭 ↓

Before her life ended some months ago, Safya had sat on Lleida’s well-lit set and flashed back to the moment that brought her there.  Aides always filtered the requests from bookers that made their way to her office. Most failed to make it past the larger press office where most intended for Safya went directly into the trash. She logged scores of appearances in a given year, but they were all picked with thought and care. Most sprung from established relationships or trusted recommendations, and it was easy to reject the frivolous requests. This particular one had arrived in a slim, unnecessary folder. On its cover, a sticky note held on. The single sheet of paper inside turned out to be a transcript from an answering machine message. Lleida’s assistant producer had left a brief, bold proposal: ‘Princess Safya is supporting a large, expensive overhaul of the educational system. We don’t really care about that, but Lleida would love to talk to her, and we’re thinking our princess would love to talk about her little project. Consider it? If it helps, we also heard our queen loves Lleida. Thanks.’

Selma, Safya’s principal aide, had stood around waiting to give further explanation, but the princess didn’t need the follow-up. The note’s handwriting was unmistakable. Indeed, it read simply, ‘I will tune in either way.’

TRANSCRIPT:

[L V.O.] Tonight’s programming is a reairing of a special interview from last year that most of our viewers will remember very well.

{Intro music plays, volume increases}

[L V.O.] My guest tonight is a treat: our very own Princess Safya.

[L V.O.] Are you happy to be here?

[S] I love late night television. I’m thrilled.

[L] May I push you on that? [S] Sure. Please.

[L] We don’t make it easy for you, do we?

[S] Is it inconceivable that I laugh along with you? {Lleida chuckles}

[L] We poke fun at superficial things, but we get serious, too. Some topics must be sensitive—unfunny to you.

[L] We poke fun at superficial things, but we get serious, too. Some topics must be sensitive—unfunny to you.

[L] Is that thrilling, is what I’m asking. The audience is locked in! Look at them. You’re looking. We’re waiting.

[S] You’re working a theory. What do you have in mind? [L] How about this: you are not your mother. We know. Do you? [S] [Hums] That is a concern, isn’t it?

[S] It doesn’t bother me. It doesn’t bother her. I’m humbled to say that the majority of you seem to find it untroubling.

[L] Running a country is hard work. Your persona is— [S] Soft. I know. Old hat criticism.

[S] It’s been forty years. I like to think being that way is a choice. [L] To be soft? [S] To be gentle. To trust myself and who I am.

[L] Not every queen needs to be a warrior to be taken seriously?

[L] If you were on Tello’s set, he would ask if that was traditional. [S] I would tell him it is. [L] A woman-queen who leads

[S] {Chuckles} I would call it respecting the decisions of our elders, but maybe Mister Tello has a different definition of tradition.

[L] I think I got a rise out of her. A little one—a “gentle” one, as it were. We have to take a short break, but our princess has even more educating to do when we return! {Outro music plays}

{Television static noise}

{Leonor weeps}

[flower-boi16]

Just rewatched Western Energy:

2 minutes and 30 seconds in and the episode already has a major fucking plot hole. If Striker could hear Stolas talking to Blitz on the phone WHY tf didn't he destroy it the second Stolas started to call? If he did that than I.M.P would have never been notified that Stolas was in danger in the first place

Small contradiction: the episode establishes that the nurse that Blitz talks to can't read...then 30 seconds later she is able to read a list of names when searching for Blitz's name. Funny how Viv forgets even the smallest of things here

Dear god the tonal issues this episode are at their worst. So many serious scenes are just interrupted by unfunny sex jokes, and the episode constantly switches between serious and comedic scenes out of fucking nowhere. The tonal whiplash here is insane.

The entire fucking scene where Striker tortures Stolas is the biggest example; Striker stabs Stolas a few times and its constantly interrupted by him making an unfunny sex joke. There's nothing wrong with inserting jokes into serious scenes but you need to do it in a way that doesn't come across as tonal whiplash. This episode is FILLED with SO much tonal whiplash it doesn't make me feel anything in any of the serious scenes

The pacing is also bad here as well. Everything feels like it goes by waaaaay too damn fast, and the tonal issues make this problem even worse

The final scene. Once again the show's pacing issues and tonal problems make this serious scene have no impact. I don't feel ANYTHING while watching it.

And then there's the reveal that Stolas and Blitz's feud in Ozzie's god was resolved with a fucking blink and you'll miss it text message. That's such a lazy and underwhelming way to resolve this conflict. Ya, this was the moment I officially lost my patience with season 2.

Well, this episode was just as bad as I remembered it being. This might actually be worse than Oops, but I'll wait until I rewatch that one.

[not-souleaterpost]

A theory that NOBODY will care about

So there is that whole personality typing thing called Myers Briggs, some call it Zodiac signs for people too emberassed to admit it, but basically I sometimes get interested in it for a day or two - and now with a I friend being especially into it I thought a bit more about the stuff (even if I still not sure how well I get it or how serious I take it, its mostly for fun)

So with the first preamble, now to the second - I had this kinda unfunny idea about "ENTP Crona", the joke being giving him an personality that is in many ways the opposite and seeing how it would reframe behaviour and shit. I mostly went from stereotypes and projecting and it was more cringe than funny but still

Yet the joke kinda became reality, after thinking about it more and seeing that maybe Crona actually fits this "type" more than it first seems:

So basically the stereotype of the ENTP is an argumentative asshole that says things to shock people just for the fun of it - and even it can be sometimes be partly true, that is more the case for retractively fitting "likeable asshole" charachters

But actually some of the traits of ENTP are more neutral - like one of them is brainstorming, seeing connections, and blabbering them out often without thinking

And this is a trait that Crona kinda seems to have - which also contradicts the whole "introvert" charachtetization

So lets get to the most controversial take - what if Crona is not introverted (by nature) - how can I say it? Does not Crona stuture when talking to others while hiding eyes and averting gazes? Isn't Crona the number one fan of corners? Who is the charachter with the catchphrase "I cant deal with x"

And yeah I get it, that sounds like the stereotypical "le internet introvert xd" behaviour - but couldnt it also be the behaviour of a traumatised child?

Like the earliest we see Crona is when Ragnarok got already melted down into him, so that alone is a very traumatic thing which would leave the bravest todler scared and disturbed. And after that Crona is shown to be just in a horrible situation till Maka reaches out.

So is it really surprising that Crona is scared in the corner of the dungeon room, that socializing with the others is a big deal?

But isnt it stranger how fast Crona actually adjusts? Like one look at the balcony basically turns a lot around, and after hanging out with a bunch of different people Crona is shown playing basketball and leaving the party in a very good mood (gaining energy not losing it from interactions? how interesting...)

Basically considering the child-soldier + isolation life Crona lived, he adjustes to a tottaly new enviroment with people that are all excentric quite quickly.

And then, Crona had the confidence and charisma to hold the speech at the end of the anime that explained what made Maka so special,.

But also one thing thats interesting is that Crona is quite oppinionated, even in ways that might cause frictions

The mostt infamous example is that when he listened to Maka talk about her mom, he had to break the fourth wall to express how weird and messed up Maka's family situation was, and thats coming from the child of the number one snake mom lol.

Yet the fact that this was the way to express a contrarian take ties in with the fact that ENTP people are actually people pleasers, even if they try to look like daredevil contrarians.

And this is in a way the real reason why Crona even betrayed the DWMA in the first place - he HAD to make his mom happy, how could he disappoint her, make her feel bad?

Yet what would all his friend think, especially Marie? How could he live after doing something so horrible to them.

Hence the sandhole, the literal hole Crona has dug himself into because of his actions that tried to make everyone happy, yet he knows that this is impossible - helping Medusa hurts everyone, yet how can he go against his mom, no matter how evil she is?

But I actually do not even need to argue it, Maka says it herself

(one could even say that the "your hurting my friend line could be a specific manipulation tactic my Maka, knowint that Crona's weakpoint is hurting and displeasing her - with the double punch of hurting her and someone that is valuable to her)

Anyways, to tie everything together, in this scene and many others one can also see Crona not only brainstorm, but also make logical arguments, even with the infamous "trusting others to not betray you, how dumb is that" - which even if said emotionally could show a behind the scenes truth finding aspect, because yeah sadly that is in a way true and without Makas courage Crona probably would not have internally the power to do this leap of faith.

Oh also ENTP are awkward in their movements and make expressive faces.

Anyways, dont that this seriously, because these are just some half remembered probably mixed up and bullshit thoughts on a "theorie" that is basically pseudo-science in the first place, so not like it matters.

Its more a demonstration of how one can easily make something fit into a schema, be it for fun or to make ideas and possibilities appear that may not if one just go with the consenus - maybe imagining a charachter like this gives both more possibilietis of development while making one see real world people in a more multi faceted way, idk

In the end its just for fun cause I thought eh why not post something in this group, especially when I'll probably go away for a week again, but lets see.

(also had manga based arguments too, but this was already going too long and maybe making the case wirh only using the anime is more compeling than cherry picking from too many sources - one could say that this all truelly only applys to the english dub boy Crona, hence why I wrote "he" everywhere)

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Today's episode was Protection, the one with the... oh gods, it's the Ferris wheel episode. Whhhhyyyy???? It's also the episode where Kagami gets akumatized because Lila somehow convinces her that Marinette is pretending to be a mess around Adrien and, oh, if only.

Real talk, did anyone find the Ferris wheel scene funny? I know people complain about seasons 4 & 5 turning Chloe into a caricature instead of a character, but they're doing it to everyone. The class has gone from Marinette and Adrien's friends who would like to see them together, but still have their own lives to the Adrienette squad whose sole purpose in life is shipping. It's creepy, unfunny, and frankly makes them all look like terrible friends. Even 8-year-olds would know this plan would never work. Who wants to have their first kiss with a captivated audience? It's just gross.

Adrien is also a victim of this. He's always been underdeveloped, but this season reduces him to Marinette's Perfect Boyfriend and it's.... not great. But I'll make this its own post because I don't wanna get too serious here since the episode is anything but.

Then we move on to the funniest thing that season five did: the introduction of the "arranged marriage" plot. Aka, the scene where we learn that Adrien and Kagami are supposed to end up together. Which is hilarious when you actually look at what Tomoe and Gabriel did to get Adrien and Kagami together:

Raised them on separate continents

Did nothing to introduce them beyond sending Kagami to Adrien's fencing team to try out

Did nothing to get them to start dating

Did nothing to support their relationship once it actually got going

Sent Kagami to a different school

Until this episode, I honestly had no clue that Gabe and Tomoe even knew that Adrien and Kagami had started dating. The way Lies presents the relationship, I thought it was a massive secret. Why else would Kagami have to lie about their fencing lessons to get alone time? If these two are supposed to end up together, why were they never sent on parent-approved dates? Were the senticouple designed to just go at it as soon as they saw each other, but Adrien was defective? It would explain Kagami's out-of-nowhere crush on Felix. He activated her Adrien-programming!

This is also another case of the writers forgetting that Emilie is supposed to be a good mom unless we're supposed to think that Gabe only came up with this plan after Emilie was gone? If so, how is he going to explain any of this to her?

Then we get to the part of the episode that actually could have done something clever: Lila tricking Kagami. As-is, Kagami looks like she's breathed the stupid gas that Lila emits for her lies to work. (SO's theory is that Lila is an ancient sentimonster who makes people believe her lies which would make more sense than my gas "theory") If the writers had been smart about it, this was where we could have introduced Lila's multiple identities. Have a random girl "from Kagami's class" be giving Kagami advice. Then the audience thinks it's an objective third party misreading Marinette and not Lila manipulating Kagami for... reasons? As-is, it's just dumb. Why would Kagami believe Lila? How did they even meet? I have questions....

Mild credit where it's due moment: This is also the episode with the Adrienette picnic date and while Marinette showing up in her pajamas felt super forced, Adrien matching her was super cute and I liked their almost kiss. The writers clearly can write these two cute, the hand raise scene shows that, they just chose the drama route instead. Unfortunately, they suck at drama and so does this episode.

[marshmallowgoop]

one last call

Part of the DCMK Fanworks Server April Fools Exchange! For koscheib.

————

It's the first of April when Mary Sera receives a phone call that's every bit an unfunny joke before she even picks up. She lets it ring once, two times, three, the sound a fake, generic replication of the past, reminiscent of spinning fingers through numbers, twirling twisted cords. The bustle of the cafe is almost enough to drown it out—forks hitting porcelain, boring, unobjectionable music played quietly on speakers surrounding white-clothed tables, gasps of chatter from other patrons. It's not like Mary ever keeps the ringer volume loud.

But it feels loud, that afternoon, in the early spring sun, the wind carrying with it the reek of freshly cut grass and fertilizer. It feels like her oldest crying in the night, only days old. Like a gunshot that doesn't belong.

She shouldn't pick up.

It rings a fourth time, and she does.

“What?” she asks. There's a screech of her metal chair against concrete as she leans back. Her hat should shield her from the heat, but it still feels too warm. “You need money? Your husband run out on you? Kid leave home and tell you that they're joining the circus?”

The voice that answers is brimming with a weariness that should make Mary pause.

(She does not.)

“Nee-chan,” it sighs, exhaustion lined with melancholy. “It's nothing like that.”

“Someone's dead, then?”

“No.” Another sigh. “I just wanted to talk to you.”

Mary could laugh. She doesn't. “You didn't want to talk when my second son was born. Or after Tsutomu got so sick that he couldn't stand. But you want to talk now?”

“Yes.”

Mary waits a moment, two, three. But there are no apologies this time, no excuses melting under the weight of too many tears. There's only an ordinary phrase, something said to casual acquaintances when you unexpectedly cross paths at a grocery store. There's only a sharp intake of breath, a pause, a, I hope you've been doing well.

For a moment (two, three), Mary says nothing. She looks to the clock situated by one of the many speakers (still softly blaring the blandest, most unobtrusive music that feels suddenly mocking now in its syrupy inoffensiveness). The structure strikes her as falsely old-fashioned as her ringtone—curled golden numbers and a just-audible click as the seconds tick by. It's six and a half minutes past the time when he was supposed to be here.

She should hang up. Say that she has company now—the kind who doesn't call her once in a blue moon and act as though no time has passed.

There's nothing stopping her. Nothing, except a tired voice that continues, “It's been too long since we last talked.”

It's said like she's on the brink of tears. Like they're children again, attending school in Japan, and classmates had called her scary, monstrous, mocked her golden hair.

But Elena would never admit to it. Not her own pain. Even now, Elena will never admit to it.

Mary despises the memory.

“But something happened today, in Japan,” her sister continues. “I work with such... serious individuals, but today there was a case on the news, and—oh, you might have heard of it all the way over there in England, actually, because he first appeared in France, but today, it was a whole event, a big spectacle right here in Japan. He put out this notice—this thief, I mean, there's this thief in a flashy white costume that they're calling Phantom Thief 1412, or Kaitou Kid—there's an author who coined that name, I think—but anyway, he said he was going to steal this jewel today, and I think maybe my coworkers actually cracked a smile about it.”

“It sounds like you did, too.”

“Maybe,” answers Elena quickly, as though afraid that Mary would hang up. (She should hang up.) “It reminded me of a school play we did. Do you remember? Memoirs of Itaro, the Detective, it was called, I think. It focused on a similar character, the Edo Kid.” Something like laughter rings in Mary's ear. “Kaitou Kid's gimmick is magic, though, not acrobatics. But there's that same charisma, cocky attitude...”

Elena trails off, and for a moment, there's nothing. Only the repetitive music, the ticking of the clock, the heat of the afternoon beating down on Mary's skin.

Classmates used to always find Elena frightening. She spoke so little that people wondered if she even understood Japanese. Mary always found it a ridiculous notion. Once you got Elena talking, she would never stop.

It was just a matter of getting her to start.

Mary shouldn't have picked up.

“The detective's name was in the title of the play,” Elena says now, and there's still that hint of laughter to her tone, the kind that says she's crying-laughing, but the tears aren't ones of mirth. “So you're supposed to think he's the good guy, right? But...”

Elena can't compose herself. She erupts into giggles, guffaws, big, loud howls that drown out her words. There are several moments of wheezing, struggling for air, and Mary removes the phone from her ear, finger hovering over the end call button, only for Elena to regain herself and say, “But when you played the role, you were so scary that everyone was rooting for the thief! No one even felt bad when you made the wrong deduction.”

The laughter dies away, and Elena's voice takes on a note of seriousness as she adds, “Good thing they got me to play the Edo Kid when my class did the play a few years later. Everyone thought the detective was so cool then. Who played the role...? I can't remember anymore, but—“

“I know you didn't call me to talk about a stupid school play from over two decades ago.” Mary crosses her legs, thinks better on it and uncrosses them, leans forward and leans back. No one approaches her table, not even a server pitying the empty seat. The seconds tick on and on.

Elena falters. "N-no," she says. "I guess not, but..."

But what? Mary wants to say. She almost does. It's on the tip of her tongue—impassioned, angry monologues about how Elena has no right to call her now, after everything, but she hesitates, and looks to the white umbrella that may as well be absent for how little shade it casts on her, and Elena takes advantage of the silence, continuing, very quietly, "It just... reminded me of simpler times, you know? That Kaitou Kid. A criminal who doesn't seem dangerous, who steals but gives people smiles, or... I don't know."

There's a rustling from the other side. Mary imagines her sister brushing her hair out of her face, wiping cheeks still stained with wet tears.

"Real life isn't like some primary school play," Mary tells her, commanding, matter-of-fact, like she always is, like she has to be. "I haven't concerned myself with this phantom thief of yours, but a criminal is a criminal, no matter how 'fun' they might seem."

She keeps herself from adding, And that was exactly the purpose of Itaro's story. Loathe as she might be to admit it, she too had never forgotten the tale.

"You're right," says Elena. "You're right. But the way the exact same lines can be read so differently depending on how they're said... how a thief can seem to be a hero..." She trails off again, and Mary imagines her shaking her head as she makes out a familiar figure in the crowd.

"Look," Mary starts to say, eyes fixated on the man coming ever closer, "I have to—“

"I know you're busy," Elena interrupts. "And-and-and I don't want to take any more of your time, but..."

"Then don't," answers Mary.

She hangs up. She stands. She doesn't smile at Tsutomu, and he doesn't smile back.

[redswaberkez]

NOW CAN I HEAR UR HCS FOR P1 AND P2? >:)

NHGRRRR STRAINIG MY BRAIN our hcs also kinda same buutt anywayyyyy

there is kindaa a longread sooo

P1

- Among all dudes only P1 and sch.. sc.. SHTOPOR were at war (p1) or served in the army (shtopor (airbone)) - has sufficient paramedical skills due to military service - his hobbies are playing guitar and singing. Punk-like singing. Grunge-like singing. Not even singing, I would say SCREAMING - he doesnt understand almost all jokes. And if hes trying to make a joke probably its gonna be dark as hell\unfunny\scary\obscure or dad puns*tm (rare) - "You cant sleep now. Monsters are nearby" - can speak german - "Demonic voice wont shut the fuck up. Please help me." - P1 is very diff in comparison to other dudes. He is so serious. He is the one at party who stays in the corner (meme ref they dont know that [...]) - scary mask amd skary voice is only a cover. Deeply inside he is very gentle and caring. But nobody knows this. - He IS an antihorny. He HATES nudity - my todays dream is revealed that he has Cain (like cain and abel ykno) vibes. Im not joking. It was in my dream. and Im gonna stick to it. I DONT KNOW BIBLE THO!!!!!!!!! my mom just once mentioned cain yesterday AND HERE WE GO - he struggles with religion SO MUCH. (im not gonna explain it rn. im doin a fcking comic on it) - Hes always on the verge of a mental breakdown. But he perfer to not think abt it and go VIOLENT that let his true emotions out - migraine survivor - imo he is a cleany one, and his own hygiene is GOOD, altho he doesnt use hairbrush that often. - "Gifted but lazy kid" in the past. "Academic perfomance flew off. You need to show him to a doc. He Could If He Wanted To." - p1 doesnt smoke or drink. He actually doesnt do all these unhealty stuff - oh GOD LORD am NOT your STRONGEST SOLDIER😭

P2

- Can you gib me an ibuprofen. My head are exploding rn (literally) - homophobic bisexual - lit had married his wife cuz he didnt know his bi and thats the reason why their marriage is SHIT - postal dudess (i dont like word doe :/) is his younger sister - he would kill for her and she would kill for him. I love them sm. - also has struggles with religion, but less intense than p1, p2 actually solved them later (gonn explain it laterrrr) - his organism is a fucking garbage but somehow his addictions doesnt damage him that much. - stinky rat. Shower? more like shower of deodorant AHAHSHAH - Hes always perked up, always joking and funny and unfunny, horny, shit, sarcastic etc jokes. - His language is Sarcasm - "im gonna кмs in front of them just to switch trajectory of their lives LMAOOOOO" - Also Lazy Gifted kid*tm - "Evil as weekend entertainment)" - Would like to play drums - p2, p3 and shtopor would drink together - His sunglasses is his trademark, he doesn't go anywhere without his sunglasses. - AND OF COURSE he has his own OPINIONS ON EVERYTHING. Even if hes wrong. He is stubborn as fuck. You can't argue with him. - He can sleep literally anywhere. Even in a ditch (he did). And you cant woke him up. - The three S bingo*tm - stupid sadistic and suicidal - Jack of all trades, master of none - He is very private, when it comes to touch, altho he has a touch starvation - therefore ^ his love language is touch and tactile connection

Idk for now thst all 😖

[psychotrope777]

hazbin hotel is so genuinely bad. the plot i guess isnt a horrible concept but the writing is bad, the jokes are unfunny, none of the characters are remotely likable, they spent all this money hiring these broadway people to make the songs and the songs still arent good, it prides itself on being an "adult cartoon" but its handling of serious issues is miserably bad, no matter how i approach it i just find it to be unwatchable. angel dust's abuse and relationship with valentino is again handled miserably, like its fucking unreal how callously the topic of sexual assault and rape is handled. also knowing vivziepop's past work relating to this topic i genuinely dont think she has any intent of taking it seriously i dont think she understands the weight of what shes depicting and i do believe shes just jerking off on angel dust being abused

and like there are other indie cartoons that i dont like / arent really my thing but i can still be happy for the team for being able to get recognition and share their stories but vivziepop is also such a genuinely unlikable person from so many angles that that doesnt even apply here

[millennialdemon]

Back on Black Clover again

I keep watching an episode or two and abandoning this anime for months because the few episodes I watch are so, so bad. This pattern continues with episode 40, the ugliest beach episode I have ever seen in my life.

Distractingly off-model animation aside, this episode was jam-packed with everything I completely hate about Black Clover: The Black Bulls, and the insufferably 1-dimensional characters therein acting out their tired, unfunny tropes while screaming and interrupting each other constantly. It honestly started to feel like I was watching a Collins Key video, which might be one of the harshest criticisms I have given anything on this blog thus far. 

I am baffled by this anime’s high score on MAL. I can’t parse if this title just has a lot of die hard fans giving it 10’s out of spite/delusion/irony, or if somehow Black Clover eventually becomes something genuinely good in its 170 episode runtime. Reading reviews offers no actual insight – claims it’s “the best written modern shounen” are completely absurd and penned by people that have watched even less than I have, and most reviewers giving it a 10 concede it’s a shameless copycat of various works that came before but that “the author is trying” even if the studio is ruining it with awful animation... so somehow that makes it a masterpiece? Is something pitiable seriously worth an 8.14? Make it make sense…

Then there are my own sensibilities to account for: I think Black Clover is the most misogynistic shounen series I have picked up since I checked out Fist of the North Star (which was made in the 80’s). I think it is wildly immature and its fear of indulging any story beat that is too heavy or too serious is frustrating. In 40 episodes I cannot remember an episode or a scene from Black Clover that left an impression or felt at all formative – I can still remember multiple scenes that make me feel something from pre-shippuden Naruto that I saw over 15 years ago on TV as a child. And that series is far from perfect, but at the very least it knew how to stop and let its characters breathe and feel their feelings and take something seriously. How the hell are we going to have this (extremely, pathetically basic) Teamwork Makes The Dreamwork theme in Black Clover when our protagonist group of misfits don’t seem to give a damn and don’t have to put any work into staying together?

It all just feels so lazy. Everyone’s together because they were assigned to be in a team because they’re all the same and they’re all a joke. Noelle is the only outlier because she is a royal but that doesn’t matter at all anymore because her only character trait is having a huge tsundere crush on Asta that somehow renders her just as “defective” as the other freaks. It has been such a let down honestly that Noelle turned into a willing member of the Black Bulls so quickly because she was like… the only person in the entire team that could facilitate some character drama. But no. She girl. Rich girl like dumb dumb country boy. Dumb dumb country boy say classism bad. Rich girl go ooga booga.

Literally had my head in my hands this episode while Noelle begged Asta to look at her in her bikini. They have massacred my girl. And every other girl in the series thus far.

sasuke_stanpdf you're the only person in the Crunchyroll comment section of episode 40 of Black Clover that even remotely understands my pain. Thank you.

The new OP made my skin crawl because it looks like we’re going into a Black Bull centric arc. (And because the digital zooms looked bad. Sorry.) But maybe the group will actually do something interesting. Better yet, maybe their characters will be challenged somehow. Maybe they will even have conflicts with each other! What a treat that would be in this barren wasteland of a narrative. And maybe, just maybe, Gauche will finally die. Surely, there will be a light at the end of the tunnel that is this arc, right…?

[showtoonzfan]

I don’t like Angel because he’s not funny, suave, sassy or smart like Viv wants him to be. He comes across as so try-hard funny to the point that it’s cringe. Him being a sexual abuse didn’t make me like him, I felt sympathetic of course, but it didn’t make me want to baby him or protect like some of the fans do with Angel. We have to wait and see how the show deals with serious topics and given helluva boss’s track record of tackling serious issues it’s can go both ways; being bastardized and treated as a joke or being taken seriously. Sexual abuse victims don’t have to sex-repulsed or have an aversion to touch, some people do become hyper sexual, but its an unhealthy coping mechanism, its not making le funny sex jokes/flirting 24/7, or just liking sex with hot people, it’s a compulsive disorder and it affects your day to day life and puts you in dangerous situations, whether it be self harming yourself or others. It fucks with you mentally and physically. It shouldnt be treated as joke or something to be used as defense against your favorite character if people don’t like him, than they don’t like him, don’t give him more trauma just to make people/guilt trip them into liking him.

I don’t hate Angel, he’s not even my least favorite character. I just want him to be cohesive and ironed out, because he’s so overdeveloped and just all over the place. He’s the famous sex worker in all of Hell working under a abusive overlord, and he’s wants to break free from that life or at least Valentino, but he’s addicted to drugs and has an explosive loose personality, he has little trust in people so pushes them away and hurts the people that care about him and he hides his true self, but he isn’t 100% sure he wants to get clean or believes in redemption and he wavers between staying in the spotlight getting the love and validation he never got when he was alive because he was rejected by his family for being gay. Oh btw angel was a mobster and a drag queen, and his whole family is in Hell and they’re in the mafia and hes got a twin sister that no one knows where she’s at, and he’s a drag queen and he’s gonna get a love interest in the show because why not. Plus whatever mental/sexual trauma he got from Valentino. This isn’t even him being written complex/nuanced, its a common mistake among young writers where they over complicate a story and characters and everything gets lost and messy. Not even Charlie and Alastor are this over complicated

These are my EXACT thoughts on him, I 100% agree. For starters yes, he’s definitely over-compensative and I hate it. He’s a sex worker, he’s a porn star, he’s a stripper, he’s a struggling addict, like Jesus Viv pick ONE. It’s all too overwhelming and it certainly doesn’t help that he’s way more developed than the fucking main character (and the show isn’t even out yet). There’s a difference between making your characters fleshed out and then there’s adding a shitload of things to them without learning how to balance it all. Anyways yes, this is one of the reasons why I don’t necessarily think Angel is good representation, not just for gay people, but for sexually abused victims as well. Of course we’ll have to wait until the show comes out, but like you said, it doesn’t help that he’s a character that’s overly flirty and makes unfunny sex jokes 24/7. His character is treated as a joke in the pilot, just something so Viv and her friends can laugh their immature asses off and go “LOL HE’S GAY”, and like others have said, that’s a “yikes” when you as the writer ALSO tries to establish that he constantly needs to use his body to maintain his position, a position he’s shown to struggle with. Yes, hyper sexuality is a thing, not everyone responds to sexual abuse trauma the same, some are repulsed, others aren’t, and don’t get me wrong, I’m all for exploring these themes, it’s just that the problem with Angel Dust is that even if he IS a person who is hyper sexual and uses his flirty behavior as a coping mechanism, it’s not treated seriously. Whenever he flirted in the pilot and acted overly sexual in the comic, it was all treated as a joke, it was simply done because we all know Angel is the eye candy for the fans of the show, so Viv can go “Lol he’s so hot, hot gay spider boi uwu”. And like you said, it also doesn’t help that Viv creates Val just so we can feel bad for him. I don’t know how y’all feel about Angel, but I personally don’t like him. He’s not funny, he’s an unlikable asshole and showing me that he’s a “sad uwu baby” isn’t going to get my sympathy. Don’t get me wrong, you feel bad for his SITUATION that he’s in, but at the end of the day I don’t care if bad stuff happens to him, he’s still a horrible person who’s in hell for a reason, and I wish Viv would stop treating him like a joke and babying him all the same time. Stop making him out to be a sex symbol for fans and start treating his character like the complex person Viv claims he is, without fucking around and making unfunny sex jokes. It’s just cringe and it ruins the serious side to him.

Again, we’re going to have to wait till the actual show comes out, but while we’re here I’m certainly not looking forward to his backstory or family. Don’t get me wrong, the concept of a gay man in the mafia from the 40’s is interesting as hell, but seeing how VIV is the one writing this, we all know it’s just going to be more sad uwu stuff to make us sympathize with him being from a disapproving society. I also have the theory that his sister Molly is in heaven, (since when asked during a livestream, Viv was vague but kept saying the words “she’s not in hell”) so yeah that’ll probably be even more sympathy manipulation to his character. I can’t….he’s just too over compensated as well as not good gay rep, and Viv once again, cannot handle serious subject matter so I’m terrified on what will happen during Hazbin and how she deals with all the abuse and trauma this character goes through. We’ll see, but I smell a bomb coming.

[initiumseries]

that makes sense about the production value, i think what probably made me associate the two shows in my head is that they're both about supernatural creatures even though its in different ways. but more than that, when i was watching wednesday i was reminded of first kill because both shows had an atmosphere that was so.. childish? like at the same time these are shows that you're not supposed to take seriously but also they do want to seem dark and smart (and fail badly on that front) so the tone is just.. confusing and aggravating. ive told people irl about this and they also don't get it, so it is probably just a weird me thing lol

Yeah tbh it does sound like the similarities you're seeing are superficial. Definitely, both shows take themselve seriously, and you are, as a viewer, meant to take these shows seriously. It's filmed that way. A show that doesn't take itself too seriously, but also trusts its audience to understand that, and find the humour in that, does things like this:

or even an earlier iteration of the Addams family. It was charming because it wasn't at ALL serious:

What makes Wednesday so JOYLESS, is it tries to recreate the Addams Family charm in dialogue alone and not in delivery (slight raise of the eyebrows, half smirk etc), set up, tone, acting choices, and even camera, lighting (how does Morticia have a permanent light casting across her eyes? So fun!). So we just get...

It's dry, deadpan, unfunny, and she has...like zero timing or delivery skills. No emotional range (within Wednesday's character, and she CAN be played that way). Ex: 

 This ridiculous dance sequence could've been a fun, quirkly moment, where you're like, lol Wednesday is SO weird, but because of how it's shot, it's meant for you to say "wow, Wednesday is SO cool." But...she's not. That's supposed to be the point.

The show takes itself so seriously it won't even let you laugh at/with/for the main character. Which makes it a lot less fun, because there's literally nothing else to laugh at.

The OG Addams family is genuinely just funny, because it wasn’t taking itself seriously, but it also was just making accurate observations absent the “after school special” moment. 

THAT, is how you handle the fucking weird Pilgrim stuff! 

Anyway, from what little I watched of First Kill, it doesn't have any atmosphere to speak of. Like half of the gifs I see from First Kill are during the day, and it's just shot like...yep, it's day time. That's it.

Elena meeting Stefan in a misty graveyard, with the spindly trees, directional lighting, in the middle of the day...is atmosphere.

But you're right, First Kill would've benefited from leaning into how terrible it was, how mismatched the leads were, etc and being FUNNY. It's like writers have forgotten self awareness can be funny! And people LIKE funny shows! This movies is TERRIBLE, but shit like this makes it SO clear that it doesn't take itself seriously AT ALL, and it's the saving grace in hindsight.

If First Kill had at least made me laugh, I might not have hated it as much. But that's the problem with most TV these days. It all takes itself SO seriously, it's joyless, humourless, chemistry-less chaff that just makes it horrible to sit through. A higher budget just...lessens the terrible. Sometimes.

So yeah, I agree, FK and Wednesday both take themselves seriously, and are both supernatural shows, but that's really just...more coincidence, and a sign of the times of current television, and not anything that actually makes them similar to each other in any meaningful way. :)

[marithlizard]

Things I wasn’t happy with about Helluva Boss s2e3 (in its own post because the last one got long):

- We didn’t get a reason for Millie to leave King Crimson alive, an incredibly stupid thing to do.  At least show us her deciding not to do it out of a misguided belief that it would hurt Moxxie.

- I could believe either that Moxxie would text Blitzo and Millie and come up with a plan overnight, or that he would feel so helpless to resist the powerful man who abused him and killed his mom that he’d give in.   But I cannot believe he would defy his dad like that with no plan. What did he think would happen?  He was putting Millie in danger - I honestly thought Crimson would threaten to start cutting bits off her.  

- The writer didn’t seem to know what to do with Loona.  Leaving her sitting around the office and being almost entirely ignored by the others has been the default for a lot of episodes, and it’s not a good default.  She’s overdue for a spotlight episode where she gets to move forward with her life.

- We’re also overdue for a Millie episode. She’s great but mostly we see her as Moxxie’s Badass Wife. She dated Chaz too, and she’s more violently angry at him than we’ve ever seen her, but she doesn’t get to share her memories - nobody even asks. 

- I’m not gonna say “fridged mom stereotype”, but it doesn’t thrill me that both Blitzo and Moxxie have moms who tried to care for them despite abusive dads,  died (as far as we know) leaving their kids traumatized, and never get a line of dialogue.

- The completely unfunny fat jokes don’t bother me as much now that I realize they’re not jokes but a bullying tactic.  But they’re still not funny and they’ve gone on long enough.  Moxxie and Loona’s feud needs to get acknowledged and resolved.

- The emotional and interpersonal aspects of this show are often well developed and very serious and sincere.  Balancing that with the goofy, bizarre, hyper, sordid energy that is HB’s signature is not easy and this writer in particular isn’t doing a great job of it.  It pulls me out of immersion in the story when practical details like “can anyone fly a helicopter” or “how is Blitzo going to magically have his coat back next episode” sometimes matter and sometimes don’t. 

I loved “The Circus” and if season 2 can work its way back up to that kind of storytelling, I’ll be very happy. This one was an improvement over “Seeing Stars” IMO; fingers crossed the next one is better still!

[anhed-nia]

BLOGTOBER 10/28/2022: EVIL ED

I've been aware of this movie for about 20 years, and I still know almost nothing about it. For me, it's less like a product I consumed, and more like something I experienced, something from another world that I encountered by chance in my endless cycle of renting fistfuls of movies at a time. If you pitched this to me today, I'd have some trepidation; broad parodies made by and for nerds are often condescending, unfunny, and generally just make me wish I were watching the superior movies they clumsily draw upon instead. However, EVIL ED is genuinely weird, a satire of Sweden's long history of censorship whose film references are more than winking asides; often, they're rendered in 3D with fabulous makeup effects and puppetry that have allowed the movie to stick with me all this time.

I should really just buy that Special Ed-ition from Arrow, which is packed with extras that chronicle the development of EVIL ED from short film to the gloriously odd extended feature that stands before us today. Anders Jacobsson's highly original horror-comedy is said to be Sweden's first slasher film, which rings true as its release coincided with the abatement of film censorship in its home country. While film censorship laws weren't officially done away with until 2011, the last film to be cut in Sweden was 1995's CASINO, after which the practice fell appropriately into the shameful past. The Swedish Statens biografbyrå (Cinemabureau of the state) was the oldest film censorship board in the world at the time of its abolition, having been established in 1911 to apply censorship laws so that films circulating in Sweden "shall not include any material that is offensive to public decency or disrespectful to the authorities or private individuals, nor pictures depicting the commission of murders, robberies or other serious crimes, and exhibitions that are open to children shall not include pictures depicting events or situations that are liable to arouse emotions of terror or horror in the audience or for other reasons be considered unsuitable for children to look at." 1996's EVIL ED does its damnedest to break as many of these rules as possible, while making its subject censorship itself.

Mild-mannered Hollywood editor Edward Tor Swenson (Johan Rudebeck) is in for the shock of his life when his employer, European Distributors, transfers him to their Splatter and Gore Department. His new boss Sam Campbell (Olof Rhodin, who is a bit of a show-stealer) assigns Ed the special task of making the popular LOOSE LIMBS slasher franchise acceptable for international export, which will be no small achievement; little does Ed know that his predecessor plunged into insanity and blew himself up with a grenade, declaring himself "just another chunk of meat lost in brainland!" Campbell lends Ed his private holiday cottage so he can focus on this project, but the isolation in combination with the extreme content of the LOOSE LIMBS films soon gets under his skin, and demonic hallucinations urge him to "adjust" not just the movies, but the sickos who create and consume them.

This is probably the most left field association anyone has ever made with EVIL ED, but what we see of the LOOSE LIMBS series always reminds me of the movie-within-a-movie in Atom Egoyan's art house masterpiece THE ADJUSTER. In that movie, Arsinée Khanjian is an employee of a censorship board who, for reasons that are slowly revealed, makes illicit recordings of the material she reviews. You never see the movies she watches, but the audio track effectively creates the worst possible images in your mind's eye, evoking all manner of inhuman depravity in a disturbingly sarcastic tone. Those sounds always reminded me of the endlessly perverse TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2, and later on, of the movies Ed censors in EVIL ED—which is funny, because Chop Top himself, Bill Moseley, voices the killer in LOOSE LIMBS (the character is played on screen by Swedish musician Lars "Vasa" Johansson). What I mean to say is, director Anders Jacobsson's vision of the movie that ruins your mind is pitch-perfect, though interestingly, some of his specific film references are more innocent.

EVIL ED had my full attention from the moment that the unhappy protagonist finds a refugee from Joe Dante's GREMLINS fucking around in his fridge. It looks great, and it's hilarious, and it might be there just because the present film hearts the '80s so hard—it is virtually wallpapered with posters from '80s horror classics, and it refers to that time when there was worldwide hysteria over the potentially harmful effects of home video. But, I like to imagine that the invocation of GREMLINS is sort of a dig at Hollywood releases that were allowed to cross lines that smaller independent movies were punished for. The MPAA's PG-13 rating was invented in part for GREMLINS, which had all-ages appeal despite how scary and splattery it was, and the most impressive image in EVIL ED is a spin on the character of Darkness, played by Tim Curry in Ridley Scott's LEGEND. That big budget Hollywood fantasy may have received a PG rating, but it is unremittingly erotic, full of frightening monsters that would be too much more many youngsters, and who could forget the infernal scene in which Darkness's demonic chef hacks up live prisoners for dinner? Here, Ed's boss transforms into a wonderfully-rendered version of Darkness that commands him to edit not just the LOOSE LIMBS movies, but the corrupt world in which they are so popular. Other images from this film refer to more predictable fare like EVIL DEAD 2 and (I'm pretty sure) THE EXORCIST III, but there is something extra salient about EVIL ED's references to famous gateway horror movies that made their way into video stores more or less unscathed.

If I'm being completely honest, EVIL ED does run out of gas at some point (and, I'd assume, out of money), devolving into scenes of characters chasing each other around in dark buildings as so many movies do. But I'd posit that if a movie offers even a couple of things that you can't forget, then its more anonymous offerings are totally forgivable. Rewatching EVIL ED this time, I didn't remember the duller, more generic bits, but I did remember all of its exciting FX experiments, exuberant performances, and bizarre humor in a lot of detail, and I was so happy to see it all again. This movie may go some way to prove something I rarely feel: that being a fan doesn't have to mean bloating up your movie with predictable easter eggs just for the sake of recognition, and it doesn't have to mean just slavishly repeating "It's just a flesh wound!" or whatever just to reinforce your membership in the cult of your choosing. (EVIL ED is guilty of some of this, but on balance I don't care!) Being a fan can and should push you to greater heights of creativity, and if you do it right, you can convey to your audience the feeling you get from your favorite things. EVIL ED cleverly evokes the special way in which extreme movies can make you feel like you're going crazy, and if you're the kind of fan Anders Jacobsson is, it also reminds you of why you keep chasing that feeling.