#she has since been. idk she isnt there anymore
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Dgmw as annoyed as I am i know my pharmacy is in a drug heavy area in a state SUPER impacted by the opioid crisis so im sure they do genuinely deal with people being like "hello yes I'd like to buy 1 fentanyl please" so I'm sure when I'm like "hey can I have my things" It's always possible (to them) that that's what I'm trying to do
#except for that one pharmacist who did call me a drug abuser to my face.#she has since been. idk she isnt there anymore#i hope she was fired but idk#i should have raised hell but that day i was already sooooo exhausted i just didnt have it in me to say more than a ''what.''#still kinda pissy ab it tho#like thats just unprofessional#and even if i was like a hard addict again. i dont think saying it to my face would help anyone or anything.
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I just vented out a whole rant about how aromantisim is treated within Hazbin/helluva. I'm not really sure if I should post it for multiple reasons, one of which being I don't want anyone to feel targeted about it or take it the wrong way (like I honestly dont have beef with Al shippers. Gripes, but no beef as I also ship him on occasion).
There was just a sudden burst of frustration I had with it that I think was in part just came from built up frustration from other things. There's things I'd like to have out there, but I don't really think it'd get far or, again, be just taken the wrong way. I don't see a point in posting if people are gonna ignore it, plus it wouldn't change how things are now. If anyone has any thoughts or are curious let me know, but I don't wanna make anyone feel like shit or put a pointless rant out there no one wanted to see. I also wanna keep rants to a minimum as I know people aren't always into that sort of stuff, especially if you don't follow someone for that and you just get an influx of posts of them complaining. And I still want to keep things relatively light hearted around here, at best maybe just some critiques on things here and there.
It's late, I'm on my phone when I should probably just sleep it off, so sleep it off I will.
#i don't know if I wanna tag any ships#I guess I'm just exhausted with a lot of things#I'd love for shippers to read it to get a bit more insight on the topi c#not to stop them from shipping ofc they can have all the fun with it.#The shipping itself has never been the problem for me.#And lately I don’t even think it's the shippers themselves that I take issue with as much anymore#maybe A part I don’t like how aromatisim is swept under the rug#may I reiterate my “how would it feel if the top ships had Angel only in straght ships” example#But I think it's more how the official media and people are with it.#Viv's statement potentially implying “confirming Alastor as aro would ruin peoples fun” isnt cool#makes it seem like being aro is bad#especially since every other character's orientations were confirmed despite them being irrelevant to the plot#I know thats not what she was trying to imply#but it Unforutnately reads that way#and people who aren't comfy with others shipping him are read as uncool I guess#^i like to think thats the loud minority of shippers talking but idk#might delete later#don't need this clogging up the blog or people's dash#rant#aro alastor#hazbin hotel shipping#hazbin ships#hazbin hotel ship#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel critical#vivziepop criticism#vivziepop critical#vivziepop#hazbin hotel criticism#aroace alastor
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so nervuos for tmrw bc im seeing my cousin
#i love her so much But#Its my dads side of the family and i dont see them often at all and everything is always so awkward and#they dont know i dropped out of school and everytime my grandpa sees me he asks about school#and i havent seen him since before i Would have graduated this past may#like i would be graduated hs right now but#im not SO IF AYNYNE ASKS ABOUT IT IM GONNA LOSE ITTTT#god#hopefully my grandparents just wont be there Idk why they would bc im just going to hang w my cousin#but they tend to jumpscare me sometimes when i go out to see her#Gahhhgaaahhhhhahhaooouuoououou#i could just tell the truth bc idec about them knowing i dropped out its just embarrassing bc i lied for so long#buti just did bc when i first stopped going to school my mom told me not to tell anyone on that side of the fmaily..so..#i dont think shed care anymore either but its just been so long and ive never told them Augh#and my grandpa really wants me to go to college which i straight up just dont wanna do. not rn at least#and id need to get my ged first which ive been procrastinating on the entiire year Oopsies#my aunt always tells me not to listen to him thoughand that i dont have to go to college if i dont want to i am grateful for her..#shes always protective of me from him LOL i love my grandpa and he means well and stuff but#he will just say anything#and he always makes me cry in public or at family gatherings bc he starts talking to me about my dad#i knowppl just aska bout like school and plans for the future and stuff bc they care but i wish they wouldnt bc i do not know anything#i dont know a single thing about how my future is going to go or what i even want it to be or how im going to live and its stressful enough#already when im not being interrogated about it#Like lets just talk about something else. Lets talk about enstars#Isnt it crazy that shinobu has gone going on 15 months without a new 5*?..i think its a little crazy and i miss him
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grief is such a weird emotion bc i can be fine most of the time even if it think about it, but then sometimes thinking about it digs it up all over again
#in regards both to my cat and my grandma though i was mostly thinking about my grandma when i wrote this#i was fine the next day after she died bc like. it was expected. she was in hospice for several months#and a nurse had been staying with her 24/7 for the last 2 days. the nurse told us it probably wouldnt be long on the last day.#we knew it was coming so i didnt feel too bad right after it happened. it was only when the mortician showed up that it sunk in#but the next day i was fine. if she got brought up in conversation id get a bit sad but i was mostly fine after that day#and its been. like. a little more than 3 months since then#i havent been thinking about it much but idk. sometimes it just pops into your head and you get reminded that she isnt here anymore#sometimes i still feel like shes still there when i walk into that room. it still partially smells the same#i turn on the light and feel like im somewhere im not supposed to be until i realize that we cleared out her stuff months ato#you wouldnt know that someone was bedridden and in hospice in there just from looking at it#but sometimes i just get that mental image of her being in there. or when she was in a nursing facility for a time and mostly normal#when we thought she was just almost septic and not nearing the end#the stupid doorbell we had her ring when she needed something that made us all jump whenever we heard a similar sound#the fact that the last blanket she ever started crocheting is still in that room and never finished#her rocking chair that has been sitting empty for probably over a year now#the haunted lamp in what used to be her bedroom pre-hospice that keeps turning on#the fact that her cars no longer in the driveway#idk. thinking about it doesnt like. actively make me cry or anything. but it is like. a lurking feeling#like ive been aware and fine with the fact that shes gone. and has been gone#but sometimes i really... remember that shes gone#i still forget that its like. a permanent thing and that shes not just in the hospital again#i wouldnt say i feel too much grief about her dying. i feel more about my cat that died 8 years ago.#but it is a weird feeling to recognize. maybe i only felt sadder about my cat bc (to me) it was unexpected#idk.
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i remember this time i was abt 17 i had left spanish lessons with my mom n like my face went kind of numb one side of it i dont remember all the details now but i think i also cldnt speak or smth like tht n i just kept walking beside her as these weird sensations happened on one half of my body n then it passed n i was scared i had or was going to hv a stroke or smth bc tht was all i knew associated with such symptoms but nothing happened after i was fine i mean clearly i didnt forget abt it but i also didnt worry over it again tho it is always somewhere like in my easily accesible memories n now i kno tht might hv been a focal seizure?
#tht was obvi post my ed n i feel like ive been always attributing any health concerns since my ed to the ed n the 'side effects'#n also so has my mother any time i mention smth she always is like it's bc u dont eat enough or smth so i dont bother anymore#i mean focal seizures can be caused my electrolyte imbalance n also vit deficiencies particularly vit b#thts the only supplement i take n it usually makes me feel so much better even with the pmdd#so idk if it's like well vit b defiency isnt a cuase since i take it#or it is the cause n i get symptoms when i hvent taken it in a while?#idk n ahhhhh do i hv to symptom track again cri#cloud nonsense
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hey, me again. I finally managed to beat the jorge questline and made quite the realization- the log about the sandwich being stolen and something tracking dust everywhere is most likely actually referring to jorge, considering the context you get it in and the fact that we know jorge is from pre-earth-explosion.
The log in question-
I think this does give some sort of idea as to how big a dupe is, because obviously he'd have to be small enough to not be noticed in his sandwich thievery... ik youve probably combed thru these logs dozens of times by now but as a fellow lore enjoyer i feel like you'd find this interesting
Ive never thought of the idea that dupe Jorge could have been the one stealing the sandwich, that's a cool theory! I personally always assumed it has something to do with one of the previous logs for the hermit story, but looking back on it, it is called a pod entry, which would imply the crashed thing they're extricating resources from was a printing pod related vessel, which means that dupes might have been on board. As such, it would make sense if one of them survived, and was sneaking around stealing food to survive. I had always assumed that B577 was Jorge's doner, explaining Jorge's relevance, but that's actually a rly good point you made and this has helped me understand this log a lot better! I will say though, on the topic of dupe size I tend to be pretty iffy on size speculation given that a lot of ppl tend to ping them as Much smaller than they likely are, as while they're definitely smaller than normal humans they're most likely not like teeny tiny, more likely being roughly half of their donors height based on the very few direct pieces of dialogue we have about duplicant height in relation to human height. I do imagine that a small height likely played a role in his ability to stay hidden, but I think it'd be a rly neat detail if B577 was Jorge's donor and that also contributed to him staying under the radar, with him looking similar enough to get away with being caught at the edge of someone's vision for a moment, especially since he seems to have actually been kind of attached to Ren and Banhi, given the toolbox description and the description of it holding sentimental value to Jorge. Perhaps he was lonely there, and saw the others as friends in a strange way?
Either way this actually lines up a lot more with my initial idea of what his deal probably was, I had thought of him as smth of an escaped dupe who was in hiding before everything went down. Neat stuff!
#rat rambles#oni posting#you see this is why I need to finish that log collection because I hunger for different perspectives on these logs#a lot of ppl tend to misentrepret stuff but well. so do I.#and together we can all account of eachothers misenterpretation or smth like that idk xhdmhdjdh#but yeah the main thing that misinfo gets spread abt is dupe biology and lore#like for example many ppl use the hibiscus log as a point of reference for duplicant height when is most likely isnt abt duplicants#the main two points of note being that both the printed subject and the donor have the same listed size#and just the way that the subjects are described and the fact that theyre both 42cms lol#and also its an olivia log meaning that its almost certainly another rodent since theyre what she mainly works with#olivia does almost certainly know abt and has helped develop duplicants but most likely only in the early days#she isnt directly involved with that specific project anymore likely because she left due to conflict in that project and she just#generally works with animals more so than humans when it comes to bioengineering#now I would say this means she might have not known abt the dna stealing but the dna stealing has been happening since before the printing#pod was even developed as a new way of cloning space colonists#stinky's log taught us that one even if we dont take the scrapped version into account#and given that olivia is the biologist of the two itd be strange if she wasnt directly involved in these early stages of the project#so while Id say she likely doesnt know the complete extent of the duplicant project the dna stealing is still a thing shed likely know abt#anyways that was a tangent appologies for this taking a second to respond
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Tumblr in the 60s
☮ monkeewholock follow
🎉🎉CONGRATULATIONS UNITED KINGDOM 🎊🎊🎉🎉🎉🎉BYE BYE GROSS INDECENCY!!!!🌈🌈🌈 62 countries have now legalized sexual activities between men🌈🌈🌈
🐞 homophilespock follow
SPIRK CAN FINALLY FUCK
🚀 starrfleet follow
They are American, not British... But I'm pretty sure spirk has always been able to fuck since the show is set in the future.
📻 lesbianbobdylan follow
Christ, this is not about your cutesy uwu yaoi otp, go outside and smoke some grass
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🌻 flowerpower follow
Politicians are not your friends but damn Kennedy is fine, I look at one (1) picture of him and my head literally explodes
🌻 flowerpower follow
...i just woke up, why is my askbox full
🌻 flowerpower follow
WHY IS HE TRENDING I'M SCARED
🌻 flowerpower follow
guys stop reblogging this it's been like five years i've changed
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🎹 nixonsafascist follow
do you think they call him little richard because he has a little. Richard
🎹 nixonsafascist follow
easy website
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🇻🇳 shirellesofficial follow
Being the only lesbian in your friend group sucks so bad. "beatles or stones??" i will kill you
🗣 lavendermenaceisreal-deactivated72537262
Disrespecting female social groups for male validation? Typical lesbian behaviour.
🇻🇳 shirellesofficial follow
Mike Jacker isnt gonna fuck you
🇻🇳 shirellesofficial follow
Oh no I think she couldn't handle that
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✌ draftdodgerdyke
DM me for the addresses of my Swedish and Canadian friends. Do not put your personal information in the reblogs.
🙍♀️ silvermilk follow
You should be ashamed of yourself.
✌ draftdodgerdyke
huh??
🙍♀️ silvermilk follow
I said, you should be ashamed of yourself. You disgust me. I assure you, when the commies attack us, you will not find your silly little post "groovy" anymore.
✌ draftdodgerdyke
Jesus, don't flip your wig
🙍♀️ silvermilk follow
My father fought in ww2 for you ungrateful degenerate.
✌ draftdodgerdyke
Don't see what your daddy's unsexiness has to do with me and my lads taking a sexy sexy trip to Sweden.
#anyway only hot guys dodge the draft
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🪕 prostitutesandlesbians follow
in every interview i watch of the beatles they are so DONE and trolling everybody, these fucking annoying BITCHES, i need them inside me so badly
🪕 prostitutesandlesbians follow
#this but not john lennon #i just can't forget the heinous things he said about jesus
idk I actually think it was very sexy of him, stop trying to cancel john in my post
✝️ jesusrevolution follow
The reading comprehension on this website is piss poor. John literally didn't mean he was greater than Jesus or better than Jesus, he was just trying to make a point about the world becoming more secular. Cancel culture has gone too far.
🚷 to-hell-with-the-beatles follow
How dare you say we piss on the poor?? Jesus died for Mr Lennon's sins and it's not "cancelling" to send him a few respectably worded death threats to remind him of that. He cancelled our Lord first!
✝️ jesusrevolution follow
Girl Jesus literally said it's cool, I dropped acid yesterday and saw Him and He told me.
🪕 prostitutesandlesbians follow
help the girls (christians) are fighting in my beatles thirst post
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🛼 donovandyke follow
I will be glued to the tv today. If you don't want to hear about it, just blacklist #moonlanding !!
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🗣 claudeberger4ever-deactivated98975287
Hi I'm new to the Hair musical fandom so I'm not super invested in the whole discourse, but I just felt like this needed to be said: Friendly reminder that not being against the war in Vietnam does not make you a bad person!
🥁 ringoforpresident follow
it literally does tho
✌ draftdodgerdyke
Another win for us hot guys
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#how do i TAG THIS#can i just tag this ''funny'' or is that patting myself on the back too much#memes#dashboard meme#dash meme#1960s#my friend tirlittan came up with ''draftdodgerdyke''#i want that fictional blogger carnally#funny#tumblr in the 60s
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Cant believe im getting rbs on a post about junepei when yesterday I went on a big rant shitting all over junepei 😵💫😭😰
Akane who sacrifices her entire life, and her loved ones lives, and the lives of many others, all in the hopes that she can forge a timeline where she and Junpei can be together and live a peaceful life, only to have traumatized Junpei so much in the process that he doesn’t want anything to do with her in the end
#zero escape#i look like a dumbass now!#even though this post isnt exactly me being positive towards the ship its more me being like#‘ahaha isnt this FUCKED UP????’#which ive said again and again is the only aspect of this ship i dont hate#just cuz its the only part of their dynamic that feels interesting 👍#me thinking about this pairing i hate is making me fixated on my girl rebecca gales cuz idk#they kinda do the whole ‘childhood crush thats kinda not healthy’ thing so good#she reminds me just a bit of junpei cuz she was best friends with ash as a kid and has been in love with him since#and she gets kinda really possessive of him and misses out on a lot of life#all in the hopes that one day ash will reciprocate her feelings#and even though ash DOES love her (even if its not romantic) he isnt good at being what rebecca needs#to the point where its like okay so why the fuck does Rebecca like him so much if he acts like this#and its pointed out that hey girl maybe you have this idealized version of your childhood friend that doesnt exist anymore#because both of you have grown up and changed a lot and youve met new people#and thinking youre meant to be with him and wasting so much of your life yearning for him isnt actually love#but rather an unhealthy obsession thats turning you into a bit of an asshole#and then rebecca has to sit on that and realize that hey maybe its true maybe she shouldnt let her world revolve around this one guy#idk just reminds me of how junpei literally wastes his whole life looking for akane#and despite her supposedly loving him she really does disregard his feelings all the time#and ignores him their whole lives#and theyve both changed so much to where its like okay junpei you dont even like akane anymore#youre just obsessed with who she used to be because she was like your best friend and first love#and youve never let yourself grow outside of her since youve based your whole identity around her#im not necessarily saying ze does that dynamic badly but i cant understand how id be expected to find them so owo cute together cuz#they arent 🤭#anyway i just wanted to remind the world that i love rebecca gales more than myself shes so fucking good
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˖⁺。˚⋆˙love is never logical | 2023 grid˖⁺。˚⋆˙
pt3
pairing: 2023 f1 grid x nepo baby y/n prost reader (she/her)
genre: social media au, friends to lovers
warnings: spoiled nepo baby:)) 3rd & final part!! fluffy af probably
summary: in which everyone's favourite nepo baby finally feels ready to share her love story with the world ❤️
a/n: last part tehehe this was so fun to write LOL it feels so silly & ridiculous fr but hope u like it i tried to make it not super obvious who her man is but idk if it worked
request!!!: I would love a smau with reader who’s a nepo baby but is everyone’s fave nepo because she’s just living life aesthetically and the grid loves her and she’s hinting at a soft launch (idrc with which driver)
fc: gracie burns
my masterlist
part 1 • part 2 • part 3
instagram ->
ynprostupdates
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ynprostupdates an image of daniel ricciardo holding a mystery woman in an embrace from last night has been circulating, rumours saying it was y/n prost. could daniel be the mystery man that y/n has been soft launching on her social medias the past few months?
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user1 NO WAY
user2 i thought daniel was with heidi? 😭😭
user3 well that definitely isnt heidi 💀
user4 well duh
user5 where my y/ndaniel shippers at
user6 all rise
user7 nooo i really thought it was lando
user8 where's that one y/nlance truther from twitter at right now
user9 bit of an age gap
user10 you must be new here
user11 💀💀💀
user12 that could literally be anyone, also it's ONLY A HUG!!
user13 🤔
messages ->
instagram ->
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yourusername my fwends
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user14 obsessed with y/n subtly setting the record straight about daniel 💀
liked by yourusername, heidiberger_
danielricciardo i meant what i said y/n, you are banned from drinking alcohol
landonorris i second this
yourusername since when did men think they could tell me what i can & cant do? 🤔
danielricciardo since you became a danger to urself & others perhaps
heidiberger_ im on ur side btw y/n/n
yourusername knew i could count on you
user15 this feels like such a random group of people to hang out separately
user16 i dont think so they're all friends arent they?
user17 tbh i think everyone loves y/n but she does this thing every so often where she hangs out with wags & i think it's to make sure everyone knows she's not overstepping or anything
user18 y/n is my favourite (potential) wag
yourusername posted a story
liked by alex_albon, landonorris, and 538,293 others
landonorris since when were you in ireland
yourusername since like 2 hours ago
landonorris why
yourusername never been
landonorris you know a race weekend starts tomorrow right
yourusername you know we're not f1 drivers right?
danielricciardo bring me a guinness back!
yourusername y/bff/n said she'll bring it in her mouth & feed you it like a little bird
danielricciardo dont want one anymore
user19 Y/N WHY ARE YOU IN MY COUNTRY
twitter ->
instagram ->
yourusername
liked by lance_stroll, lilymhe, and 792,103 others
yourusername no one panic we're back on time
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user21 was lance in ireland with her
user22 no just lily y/bff/n & some other girls apparently
landonorris slay‼️
oscarpiastri are you relaxed now
landonorris urm. yes
yourusername LOL
lance_stroll everyone cheered
lilymhe 😌😌😌
user23 i want y/n's life
user24 i just want y/n
alex_albon can i have my girlfriend back now?
yourusername for now yes
yourusername posted a story
liked by lilymhe, lance_stroll, and 827,183 others
lilymhe omg y/n
lilymhe this is so hard launch
yourusername 😭😭😭 DONT SAY THAT
lance_stroll 😧😧😧
user25 THERE'S NO WAY YOU GUYS ARENT DATING
user26 OH MY GOD IM SCREAMING
lewishamilton congratulations to you both😊
yourusername THIS WASNT MEANT TO BE A HARD LAUNCH
maxverstappen1 only took him almost beating me for you to hard launch
yourusername you STILL got no bitches max
yourusername sorry for being mean im overwhelmed right now
maxverstappen1 it's all love 🤔
twitter ->
instagram ->
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yourusername & i fell for you like water 💧
tagged: lance_stroll
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lance_stroll i love you ❤️
liked by yourusername
lilymhe FINALLY
yourbff thank god coz i cant keep anymore secrets
danielricciardo anymore? what else do you know?
lewishamilton congratulations for real this time!
maxverstappen1 congrats on pulling
yourusername 😘
landonorris 🎉🥳🍾🎁🎈🎊
charles_leclerc i miss you y/n please get rid of this man and return to ferrari immediately
carlossainz55 i second this
scuderiaferrari we third this
yourusername for you guys i just might😌❤️
alex_albon officially graduated from third wheel status
liked by yourusername, lilymhe
lance_stroll
liked by yourusername, yourbff, and 828,103 others
lance_stroll this is me flexing
tagged: yourusername
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yourusername 🫶🫶🫶
liked by lance_stroll
pierregasly kika is celebrating rn
yourusername my girlll😊😊
fernandoalo_official congratulations to you both 🎉‼️❤️💚
user32 this is so personal to me
user33 she is so amazing
yourbff OMG PRETTIEST GIRL ALIVE
liked by lance_stroll, yourusername
THE END 🤍
#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 smau#f1 x reader#smau#lando norris#daniel ricciardo#alex albon#lance stroll#charles leclerc#carlos sainz#lewis hamilton#pierre gasly#oscar piastri#logan sargeant#george russell#dr3#ln4#lh44#pg10#op81#cl16#ls2#gr63#yuki tsunoda#max verstappen#mv1#maddie's smau
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i was gonna sleep but no i cant stop agonizing over how jumper's deep attachment and loyalty to her teammates makes complete sense when you consider everything she did and experienced in s5— especially in regards to vitalasy and the abyss. and how her wanting to be completely uninvolved in the conflicts of the server this season is also connected to this.
bc like okay so jumper is obviously incredibly attached to ro and rek. she has made it abundantly clear that they are her priority. they are the only people who matter to her at the end of the day; the people she will do anything for on the server. there is nobody in the server she would choose over them. no matter what rek does in his own time, or how inactive ro is, jumper ALWAYS considers both of them and has them in mind w everything she does.
which i find interesting bc at this point, rek almost exclusively refers to jumper and her alone as his teammate when his team is brought up simply bc ro is never here. they havent seen each other in months and i can count the amt of times rek and ro have been on the server together on one hand, so obviously rek doesnt seem to feel that same attachment to ro that jumper does.
which is very understandable but very interesting in how it contrasts to the way jumper seems to almost cling to that day 1 team up she had w ro. how she continues to include him in everything, and does her best to ensure he will be well taken care of should he choose to login at any point while shes offline.
and i...cannot help but feel that a very big part of jumpers fierce loyalty is her experience w vi. of him being gone. of her choice to not be alone, while he was gone. and her losing him in the end. like ro's absence almost feels like salt in the wound, but it also feels like its her getting a second chance to choose the other option— to wait for ro, to be loyal to him and rek, and to choose them and to continue to choose them no matter what happens.
which brings me to jumper's refusal to involve herself in conflict unless she NEEDS to be involved. i think her refusal to be loyal to anyone except ro and rek ties into this, actually!!! although part of her neutrality may be self interest, i dont actually agree w derap in saying its entirely out of pure selfishness. bc i actually think a large part of it is jumper continuing to choose ro and rek, and refusing to even consider putting herself into a position where she could ever be prioritizing anyone who isnt them. ally or enemy alike.
bc like yes. she is allies w minute. she considers (considered? idk anymore since chief tried to kill her LOL) the empire her allies, and once expressed that she would happily help them kill people and assist them w their schemes when it is requested of her, but i feel like that is as far as she is willing to toe the line of involving herself in conflict and any sort of loyalty to anyone who isnt her team bc shes already played that game before.
rek is always doing his own thing and ro is IA, but this time around jumper isnt looking for anyone else, another connection, or anybody to fight w. shes building a base for her team, supporting reks projects even if she doesnt understand, and she is waiting for ro. there was nothing she couldve done to ever not lose vi; he was always going to part ways w her no matter what decision she made, but she was never able to fully heal or come to terms w losing him in the way she did and mourn all of the time they never had so this time she is making the decision to hold onto rek and ro as tightly as she can, and to cherish every moment she is able to have them as long as she can in the hopes that she will never have to lose them like she lost vi. that she can have the memories w them that she was never able to have w vi.
#lifesteal#lifesteal spoilers#the sticklers#amethyst duo#jumperwho#vitalasy#roshambogames#rekrap2#sorry if this is incoherent#its like 5.30 am as i post this#i started playing nothings new and started typing#idk if anythjng ive said is of substance#but i needed to yap#and cry abt jumper and vi and ro#and how painful ro and jumpers themes of loneliness are#theyre so different yet also so similar in their loneliness :(#i love the sticklers so much godddddd
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So fun story time (sarcasm) about my health insurance as a disabled/chronically ill individual
So once I moved out of my dads house into my own apartment with my best friend and gf I got my own health insurance (my dad doesn’t have it and my “mother” kicked me off hers the moment I was 18)
I had to get Medicaid because I can’t work and was accepted after 1-2 months
I have insurance for a couple months and make a bunch of appointments to figure out wtf is wrong with my body
Then one day I go to a doctors appointment and get told I don’t have insurance anymore
I’m confused and think it’s a weird problem maybe I’ll have to pay a fee or smth and go through with my doctors appointment
A couple days later I call my insurance
The First Lady I talk to says there’s no reason why my insurance should be failing and sends me off to another department or maybe a higher up idk
The second person I talk to explains that my insurance got cancelled because my address wasn’t correct and that I don’t live at that address anymore because it was sent back
At this point I’m pissed
I tell her that I haven’t moved since getting my insurance and they’ve never had problems getting my mail to me and I want my insurance back
I’m told she can’t reinstate it because it’s been 30 days (it was over 30 days by the time I got to my last doctors appt. so it wouldn’t have mattered when I called) and instead of trying to get ahold of me by other means they just cancelled my HEALTH INSURANCE that I WAS USING ACTIVELY in THE SAME CITY AS THE ADDRESS ON FILE (my current and only address)
So I get over it and apply again (putting my health on hold and not getting an echocardiogram to see if I have a heart issue or if it’s POTS)
It’s been months since I applied, I’ve been checking the portal and it’s just been saying “esigned” so I’ve been patient
Then today I find out that my health insurance has been DENIED
Why was it denied??
My address wasn’t correct
The same.
Fucking.
Address.
The icing on the cake?
I got a LETTER saying it was DENIED because my address wasn’t correct
I got a LETTER to my ADDRESS that apparently ISNT CORRECT
One more time for the slow folks
I got a letter to my residence (the address that I put on the form and is correct) saying my health coverage was denied because my address isn’t correct
Deny.
Defend.
Depose.
This is my fucking HEALTH
My LIFE
This isn’t a fucking game
This isn’t monopoly
This is peoples lives
This is fucking pathetic
At least in jail Luigi will get free healthcare
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I cackled at your post lamenting PR disaster after *that* Mythal screen, ngl XD
Super curious to hear your thoughts on qunari specific line with Mythal in Crossroads, where she claims to still love Solas. (in fact, that both of them still do). Also the fact that the foil to their relationship there seems to be motherly love is…messy. Their whole situationship is.
it on EIP Gaming youtube channel
i did see this though i wasnt able to watch the full vid at the time, i just watched it now. someone else also asked me my thoughts on this in my inbox so ill just answer this one, but i think its so funny that people are asking me about it hehehe. i wasnt surprised by it at all i think it makes perfect sense. of course she loved solas and of course she still does. just because she loves him doesnt mean shes not an absolute freak. it doesnt mean her love isnt literally poisonous. its still love, but shes a corrupted spirit. she loves being a god and the power over other people it gives her. shes not like other girls. shes a freak, shes a weirdo. anyway. my point is that i think shes right when she says that "we" (both rook and us as the audience) genuinely cannot understand the bond they had because their immortality would have made it something unrecognizable to us. shes being racist when she says it but idk why anyone would expect her to be anything but racist. however i think the sentiment when turned towards the audience is true. they were spirits together. they have known each other for an incomprehensible amount of time. we will never be able to understand the extent of their devotion even if it was ultimately ruinous. you can love someone and still abuse and manipulate them.
as for rook randomly bringing up fucking SHATHANN (no shade to miss shathann, i actually thought she was very interesting and the highlight of taash's storyline and that their relationship was compelling).... rook is a loser and an idiot and this is just them acting in congruence with their overall characterization as a loser and an idiot. if anything it actually proves mythal's point that rook cannot understand their relationship when they randomly start bringing up shathann and taash. dumbass fucking thing to say. i think its extremely reductive and literally just makes rook look so stupid. solas and mythals relationship is complex because they COMMITTED WAR CRIMES TOGETHER. it is so incomparable to taash and shathann having a very relatable and typical teenager/mom conflict over taash's identity and finding themselves. meanwhile solas and mythal were literally creating a bioweapon. anyway.
the mother implication doesnt actually bother me LOL. ive been saying the vibes are oedipal since before this game came out. again, we cannot understand it. people say things like "mother/son" and i even throw around "oedipal" and "freudian" but genuinely the ancient elves had such different conceptions of relationships due to both their immortality but also their origin at spirits that there is really nothing comparable. they did not have families and they probably had very different ideas of romantic relationships. this is something i really wish the game had explored more lol add it to the list! we just get glimpses of how they cared about each other. piecing together the 20,000 years is impossible. i believe it was intended that way. we are supposed to struggle to quantify it. i doubt they themselves could label the nature of their relationship if they tried. "love" is the closest word that exists.
as for mythal agreeing to help because she loves him? yeah. of course. im not surprised it works. she loves him, whatever the fuck that means to her. she also has a miserable lonely existence. yes she used him as a tool but he cannot function as a tool to her anymore, not in her sorry state, and so she is able to see him as a man and thus let him go. though maybe shes bamboozling everyone, morrigythal is about to pull her out of that statue again in da5 and pull one over on us, and she released his ass just to get him off the chessboard so she can get her reckoning. a girl can hope
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3:15 (breathe)
synopsis: story inspired by the song 3:15 by russ
pairings: lo’ak x metkayina!reader
warnings: angst to comfort & minor violence
word count: 6.6k
a/n: ive been writing this for too long but im back with a present 🫶🏾 (also i know this one isnt shortened by a read more thing im sorry guys i tried idk why its not working but hopefully when i get my laptop charger back ill be able to fix it but pls just bare with me just this once)
you had been staring at the roof of your marui for about 20 minutes now. you were dreading getting up. you've felt like this for the past few months but couldn't pinpoint exactly when it started. being the youngest daughter of tonowari and ronal is like asking every boy in the clan to court you. when you chose rotxo, all the boys in the clan were heartbroken. you and tsireya found it kinda funny, to be honest.
you and rotxo have been dating for about half a year now. everything leading up to the relationship had been amazing. the fleeting glances, soft touches, the surprise dates. he had courted you perfectly, so he was over the moon when you finally said yes. his loving actions continued three months into the relationship. then suddenly, you started to notice a shift in his behaviors.
he wouldn't surprise you with dates anymore, he only hung out with ao'nung and his friends, he wouldn't make time for you, and when you did ask to spend time with him, he would brush you off, saying he was busy.
of course, your siblings didn't know about this. rotxo told you not to tell them. "i mean, what would ao'nung think of me? he would never want to be friends with me again," he told you. you sighed, "you're right, rotxo. i'm sorry. i won't say anything." rotxo pulled you into a hug, holding your head to his chest so you couldn't see the smirk he held on his face. on the other hand, you held an expression of self-doubt. like you knew the choice to not speak up was dumb, and you wished you could take your words back, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it.
so you remained in rotxo's arms day after day, putting on a show that everyone believed. never saying anything to anyone. never saying anything about all the harsh words rotxo would say to you, about the loneliness you felt, or about the scars he left on your heart.
tsireya, your twin sister, suspected something was off about your relationship because of how differently you had been acting recently. ever since rotxo started treating you poorly, tsireya would hear you cry yourself to sleep every night. still, when she confronted you about it, you would brush her off, saying she was probably hearing things from how tired she had been. and the thing is, nobody else seems to hear it, so it's not like tsireya can have someone to back her up.
you finally gathered the energy to get up, 2 hours later than you were supposed to, and you groaned, knowing your father was going to kill you. you quickly get dressed, rushing to find someone, anyone who can tell you where your father is. finally, you see a huge crowd, what looks like the entire clan, gathered at the shores of the beaches.
"uturu has been asked.." you heard faintly. as you made your way to the front of the crowd, where you heard your father's voice, you caught the tail end of the conversation. "toruk makto and his family will live among us. my children will teach your children the ways of the water so that your family does not suffer the burden of being useless." you hid behind your father. as he spoke, you looked over to who he was talking to.
a group of 6 darker-toned na'vi were standing huddled together. 2 parents and 4 children. you analyzed each child, still hiding behind your father. the smallest, youngest na'vi was holding her mother's hand, hiding behind her leg, similar to how you're hiding behind your father. the older female, who looked about your age, had an annoyed look on her face. you giggled at her expression, being able to tell that she wanted to be anywhere but here.
then you looked at the taller, assumingly older brother. he looked tight-laced, like he was the perfect child. a golden boy, if you would. not really your type but eh, who are you to say anything. you have a boyfriend, for crying out loud. you shouldn't even be thinking things like this in the first place. you rolled your eyes, ignoring the annoying thoughts in your head, as you looked at the other boy standing next to the eldest son.
that's when you noticed the eyes that were staring back at you. they were the prettiest amber color you've ever seen, accented by… is that hair above his eyes? his eyes glowed in the sun, and his markings? don't even start; his markings running along his body were mesmerizing. but the one thing that interested you was the look he held in his eyes. nobody had ever looked at you like that, and of course, that makes it harder to pinpoint precisely what makes you feel this way. while you were entranced in the visitor's eyes, you failed to notice your own boyfriend noticing you. once the clan's people started to disperse, your sister grabbed your hand and dragged you over to the new family.
rotxo was going to approach you, but he was stopped by ao'nung, who nodded his head back to the water, where they would later meet you, tsireya, and those 'freaks' for lessons. ao'nung missed the furious expression his best friend held. rotxo was quick to fix his face, though, playing nice. he saw the looks between you and that forest boy, and he was not happy about it. he decided to observe from afar before confronting you about anything, not wanting youîu to know that he noticed anything.
as you and tsireya approached the family, you got to take a closer look at the boy before you. your thoughts, though, were interrupted by your twin, "let us show you to your new home," as she and you guided the new family to their home, you could tell their father was trying to stay positive, but the way their mother dropped her belongings when she saw where they would be living was comedic to you. you couldn't help but chuckle at her reaction, not maliciously, of course. you're not like your brother ao'nung and boyfriend rotxo.
"sister, i was late to the gathering. i have no idea who these people are or what's happening." you whispered to your twin. "oh right! where were you, by the way? i had to go through ilu training with the boys alone! it was horrible." she groaned. you sighed. yeah, you're definitely gonna get your ass beat when you get home. "father didn't happen to notice, did he?" you said, already knowing the answer. tsireya just laughed "skxawng." she said, hitting your shoulder. "hey!" you said defensively, ready to hit her back until a hand caught yours. you turned around to see one of the new na'vi boys. it was the younger one.
"as amusing it is to see two sisters-" he started
"twins," you and tsireya corrected at the same time. it freaked both boys out, but they thought it was cute in a way.
"as amusing as it is to see twins bickering with one another, i believe a lesson is in our near future? per request of your father, that is." the tone he used was teasing. how could he speak to you with such confidence when he didn't even know your name? rotxo had never spoken to you like that. his words were always soft, almost shy as if he didn't want to scare you with how loud you knew he could be. for some reason, though, it made you like rotxo more.
but with how things have been going well recently, rotxo isn't that soft-spoken boy anymore. hell, he barely acts like your boyfriend now. so maybe it won't be wrong to get to know someone new? only as a friend, though. you would never dream of cheating, let alone act on it.
you looked down to see that the younger brother, whose name you still had yet to find out, was still holding onto your wrist, waiting for an answer.
oh shit, he's waiting on an answer.
you had zoned out, daydreaming about the boy who was gazing at you equally as curious. thankfully you guys had an energetic little girl to catch your attention. "LAST ONE TO THE WATER IS THANATOR BAIT," she said as she jumped into the water.
you and your sister giggled at the young girl's actions, deciding to jump right in after her. the remaining na'vi jumped in as well as you and tsireya swam, guiding them to where you would have this supposed lesson. as you and your twin swam, she explained everything that had happened while you were sleeping using your clan's sign language. it was making more sense now. this family fled their home, seeking a safe place to stay… uturu…
as you had gotten to the rocks by the beach, you noticed that your brother was there, which could only mean one thing. rotxo was here, too, great. you didn't really feel like pretending to be happy with him around people right now, but you slapped on your usual fake smile, praying to eywa that these newcomers were as easy to fool as everyone else on this island.
you had begun your lessons as usual, you and tsireya being paired up with the youngest son as he was having the most difficulty.
"breathe in. breathe from down here," tsireya said as she placed her hand on lo'ak's stomach. you placed your hand on his heart to check its speed as you continued, "breathe out." you sighed again. "lo'ak, your heartbeat is fast," you said, looking up at him, happy that you had learned his name because now you could address him by his name.
"sorry," he said,
"try to focus," tsireya added, his eyes meeting hers as she spoke. you noticed that when his eyes shifted, his expression remained the same bright, curious look he gave you; he also held with your sister.
maybe that's just how he looks at people, you thought as you continued to help him.
you felt eyes on your back, knowing it was rotxo staring at you. you looked over your shoulder and made eye contact with your boyfriend, smiling and waving at him, getting nothing but a stone-cold look in return. nobody seemed to notice, so the embarrassment was yours alone. or so you thought until you turned back to lo'ak, seeing as he had seen the whole interaction between the two of you. nobody had ever noticed something like this happen. you tried to read the forest boy's expression but couldn't. all you knew was that he didn't have that same bright look in his eyes as he looked at rotxo.
so maybe he doesn't look at everyone like that…
the exchange sent a shiver up your back. you had a feeling nothing good would come of these two interacting, but over the months, rotxo had diminished your self-confidence, finding yourself seriously doubting your judgment. so you ignored the feeling, not thinking it would be worth risking the normalcy in your daily life.
with lessons finally ending, you excused yourself from the rest as you walked back to your marui, knowing that your parents were about to beat your ass. you walked into your home with your ears flat against your head, tail between your legs, and head hung in shame.
"y/n te ronal'ite," your mother sneered.
oh yeah. you're fucked.
"father, mother, i am sorry i do not know why i overslept this morning–"
"this is the fifth time this has happened, child. you do not know why you have overslept five times this month?" your mothers' words were harsh; you knew she was very upset with you because of how you had been acting recently. you also knew she didn't like your relationship with rotxo, no matter how nice she thought the boy was. to her, something was just off, she could hear eywa whispering to her about it at night, but when she awoke in the morning, it became nothing but a second thought as all her tsahik duties became a priority as she started her day.
"mother, i am sorry. i do not know why this is happening, but i promise it won't happen again," you said, falling to your knees and begging your parents for forgiveness. you hated when they were upset with you, from when you were a kid until now—especially your father.
you were a daddy's girl; you couldn't help it. your father was your safe haven, and you hated when he was disappointed in you even more than you hated when your mother was mad at you. so when you looked into his eyes and saw concern and not disappointment, you knew something was wrong.
"ma y/n, what is the matter? ite, if something is wrong, you know you can tell me." your father tried.
this was the one thing you couldn't confide in your father for. usually, you have little to no trouble telling your father what's wrong, but this was different. you couldn't bring yourself to tell him. so you just looked up at your father, tears in your eyes, and said
"nothing is wrong, father. i have no excuse for waking up late, so please issue my punishment. i have to finish my chores for the day," hearing your voice so cold sent a shiver up your parents' backs. that was what made them realize there really is something wrong. no matter how much you deny it, they can finally see past the facade that you've been keeping up.
how have they never noticed? how long has this been going on?
ronal looked at her husband, silently asking him for help. for once, the tsahik didn't know what to do. as attuned to eywa as she was, the great mother can't outright tell her what is wrong or how to solve it, thus leaving ronal feeling hopeless.
useless.
a tsahik who can't even help her own child. what good is she?
tonowari cleared his throat, drawing attention to himself.
"two weeks, ilu keeper. you are to bring and return the villager's ilus as well as headcount the north, south, east, and west pens before the eclipse to ensure all ilus are accounted for. you are dismissed," your father's tone was equally as cold as yours. you knew the game he was playing, and you wouldn't fall for it this time. you knew your father was just trying to reciprocate the attitude you were giving him so you would crack. so you quickly left your home, knowing that if you stayed any longer, you would burst into tears and beg your father to hold you in his arms.
your depression had continued for months after the day of the sullys arrival. things with rotxo had only gotten worse, and to you, it seemed like nobody was noticing your depleting health. but in reality, everyone knew you were sad, but nobody knew why.
except for one person
you were so grateful for lo'ak. he was the only person who noticed. he saw everything and sat you down, saying you couldn't endure this abusive relationship anymore. he saw all the scowls and rolled eyes your boyfriend sent your way when you were looking and when you weren't looking. he also saw stuff that you hadn't seen. like rotxo entertaining different girls throughout the village. all of those girls being the ones who you said were your very good friends, but more specifically, it was your best friend.
you and your sully boy were walking along the shore, deciding to go for a walk after he had returned from his daily chores. the walk was silent, but you noticed the furrowed eyebrows above lo'ak's eyes, indicating that he was thinking.
"if you think too hard, you may end up hurting yourself, forest boy," you teased, giggling at his reaction. the boy had rolled his eyes, relieving his eyebrow of their stress as he nudged your side with his elbow. "hey, watch it," he said, laughing along with you.
then he got serious again, you noticed the stress return to his eyebrows, and you couldn't help but stop walking, concerned for your friend.
"lo'ak, what is the matter?" you asked, voice quiet, almost a whisper. lo'ak had barely heard it over the sounds of the tide washing up against the shore. he was silent for a while, debating on if this was his place to say anything, but the boy was worried for you so he spoke up.
"as your friend, y/n, i cannot allow you to continue to be in this relationship." his words were firm. you knew this was coming, and you were hoping you could avoid it, but in the end, it seemed inevitable. you sighed, exhausted, dropping your facade.
"lo'ak, please. don't say anything to anyone. i am fine, okay? rotxo is just busy, is all–"
"yeah, busy suckin' face with your so-called friends, y/n," lo'ak huffed, tired of seeing you endure this treatment. you perked up at his words, though. what was he talking about?
"what do you mean?" you said as you stepped closer, wanting to look deeper into his eyes to ensure he wasn't lying.
"your boy has been cheating on you with all the girls you call your 'friends', especially your best friend. whenever he says he's busy with ao'nung and the guys, neteyam tells me he sneaks off halfway through. and i've personally caught him with so many girls y/n. he's been cheating on you." the words echo in your head.
cheating?
with your friends?
your boyfriend…
your boyfriend.
a new feeling had blossomed in your chest. it felt like a raging fire in your chest, out of control and blazing with heat. oh, you were pissed. so lo'ak hatched a plan for you.
"take this," he said as he reached up to his neck, taking off his communicator and giving it to you. "wear it tomorrow. and right before eclipse, i want you to go to the west ilu pen. but be quiet when you get there. that's usually where rotxo meets your best friend." the words squeezed at your heart, but the fury in your chest overpowered it all.
"fine," you said as your eyes met his once again. you moved your hair behind over your left shoulder as you turned around, signaling for him to put the communicator on for you.
once it was secure, you turned to face him again, knowing that this would be the last moment of peace you would have until the storm you had been so severely trying to avoid.
"thank you," was the last thing you said to the forest boy before you made your way home. knowing the next day would be one of the worst days of your life.
it was a few minutes til eclipse, and you were waiting in a hidden spot near the west ilu pen just like lo'ak had told you. you had been waiting here for 15 minutes, and neither rotxo nor your best friend had shown up. did lo'ak lie? what reason would he have to lie? it's not like he likes you. lo'ak always uses phrases like "as your friend…" and "friends don't treat friends like that," insinuating that he, too, thought of you as a friend and nothing more, so what reason would he have to lie. you were about to radio him, pressing the button on your neck, because you were getting annoyed waiting here for so long. but then you heard a familiar laugh.
that's your best friend's laugh.
you turned around, peeking through leaves to see rotxo and your best friend holding hands, laughing with one another. keeping your hand against your communicator, you tried to get as close as possible without revealing your hiding spot so that lo'ak could hear everything happening.
"are you sure this is okay, rotxo? what about y/n? you know she's my best friend." your best friends laughter had died down as the two came to a halt.
"ma yawne, you need not worry." your boyfriend reassured.
"but what about her? you guys are in a relationship, and she is olo'eyktans daughter. if we get caught, we're done for. plus, she's been looking so sad recently. i can't help but feel like she knows." tears sprung to her eyes and you couldn't help but roll your own.
"mawey, my love. she does not know. besides, she has been ignoring me recently. i've been left alone, wondering if she's okay. i ask her every day to talk to me and tell me something; i reassure her that i'm here for her and that she can talk to me about anything. she brushes me off, not even giving me the time of day. it is like she has completely shut me out. i feel so left in the dark," your best friend just coos at the boy, pulling into a hug in an attempt to 'hug' him when she really is just trying to push her boobs against his chest. his hand placement wasn't any better. he had his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to himself if even possible.
OH, BOO FUCKING HOO, IS HE FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW??
it was taking every molecule of self-restraint in your body not to blow your cover and strangle the man you call your "boyfriend." upon hearing his words, you could only scoff. this is what he's been doing? while he's been ignoring you, leaving you lonely and hurting, he's been out in the village, cheating on you and playing victim, making everyone think you were ignoring him.
you could only roll your eyes as you walked away before you were discovered. you were furious. you knew exactly how you wanted to approach this, thinking based only on your heated emotions, throwing all rational away. as you walked away, your hand fell from the collar around your neck, knowing lo'ak had heard enough. he was probably on the way to your parents' marui right now to tell them everything.
you walked to rotxo's family marui; glad to see the rest of his family is still out doing whatever they do. you could care less. he and anyone related to him could perish, poof into thin air, never to be seen again, and you wouldn't bat an eye. in fact, just the idea of it brings a smile to your face. a smile that instantly dropped when the flap of the marui was pushed aside, revealing your boyfriend and your brother.
"ao'nung, leave. i need to talk to rotxo," you said as soon as you made eye contact with your older brother. you knew he was clueless about what had happened because he was hanging out with his friends all day. supposedly, so was rotxo.
"sorry little sister, but you're going to have to leave. rotxo and i are–"
"AO' GET THE FUCK OUT!" you screamed at your brother, eyes falling to the floor, knowing he wasn't the target of rage, so you probably shouldn't be treating him like this.
your brother was surprised you raised your voice at him but listened anyway, knowing that this wasn't his problem and he honestly didn't care about your relationship as long as rotxo treated you right. and to his knowledge, his best friend is treating you right. rotxo, you told your brother that it was you shutting him out, so ao'nung just assumed this would be another one of those 'irrational arguments' that rotxo always tells him about.
watching your brothers back retreating toward your home, you turned your attention to the man of the fucking hour.
"my best friend? are you serious right now, rotxo?" you asked him to get straight to the point.
rotxo rolled his eyes, groaning because he realized you knew he was cheating on you.
"y/n, don't be like this. my family will be home any minute–" you cut him off.
"i do not care. you are walking around telling people i shut you out? cheating on me? you are out here forcing me to put on a smile, fake happy, so your reputation doesn't get ruined, and you have the nerve to try and bring mine down with you? saying i'm leaving you in the dark. making yourself seem like the goddamn victim?! you're cheating on me, rotxo. FOR FUCKS SAKE." the english word that the sully children had taught you felt like the only word that could adequately convey your feelings.
"using the words that sully boy taught you, huh? you know you've been spending a lot of time with him. you're lucky the only rumor i spread was that you left me in the dark. be grateful that i'm not telling everyone how you've been spreading your legs for that freak." you gaped at his words. how did he know about how much you've been spending with lo'ak? of course, he's completely wrong about what you guys do but he's always busy with his friends, blowing you off, cheating, and not caring who you're with or what you're doing. regardless of how he knew or not, you and lo'ak were friends, and that's it.
"we are just friends. i would not even have to hang out with him if my own shitty boyfriend actually acted as if he fucking likes me. we hang out as all young na'vi do, free diving, ilu racing, sea shell collecting. things i've done with you, my siblings, and countless other friends, like the bitch you are cheating on me with, so why is it a problem when i do it with lo'ak? hmm, rotxo? what's your fucking problem? are you projecting? is that it?" you were blinded by your rage, not even realizing that you had approached your boyfriend, but it felt like your words weren't getting through to him. he still held this shitty condescending smirk on his face, and you were sick of it. so you pushed him with all the strength you had in your body. rotxo fell to the floor pretty hard, groaning in pain as he landed funny on his wrist.
"ah! ha–" rotxo graoned in pain as he gripped his wrist. his gaze met yours as he spoke again "look, she's finally snapped. what? are you going to go, run to your little demon blood? are you going to let him cheer you up like the little slut you are? might as well prepare yourself for tomorrow because when ao'nung asks me what we argued about, i'm telling him i found out you were cheating on me with that sully boy," rotxo stood from his place on the floor, holding a look you had never seen on him before. he walked towards you menacingly as you matched his pace, walking backward until your back made contact with the wall of his home. his hand came up to your neck, squeezing, not noticing that he had once again pressed the button on your collar so lo'ak could hear everything.
“y/n? what's wrong? what's going on?" you heard his voice in your earpiece but kept quiet, not wanting rotxo to know he was about to get caught.
"you're so easy, huh? playing hard to get for everyone in the village when really you just wanted to be a whore for a half-breed freak who has only brought problems and war to our home–" you pushed him off of you, running out his marui with your head down, not wanting him to see your tears as if he hadn't already.
as cruel as rotxo had been to you, he had never called you such degrading names like this.
as angry as you were, hearing someone you once loved say things like that to you felt like a bullet to the heart.
you ran to a hidden oasis within the forest line of awa'atlu. only you and rotxo knew of it, but recently you've found yourself coming here alone much more than you would come here with him.
falling to your knees in front of the river before you, you allowed the dam to break, letting all your pent-up emotions out. you couldn't help but cry to yourself. you hated life like this. you hated living a lie, not wanting to bare this pain anymore. you cried, sobbed, screamed, wailed, anything to get this hurt out of your heart.
rotxo had broken you. he had taken your pure, innocent heart and smashed it to pieces. no matter how much you tried to love and care for him, you realize he would never really love you. it was all just a ploy to get in with the olo'eyktan's daughter. he was just like every other stupid boy on this island. but you fell for him, and you hated the feeling.
and for him to cheat with your best friend, of all people? how could he? did he even love you?
to say lo'ak was worried was the understatement of the fucking year. he was basically having a panic attack rampaging the island after he didn't find you in rotxo's marui when they arrived. lo'ak had come with his family and yours, everyone having heard the cruel words that rotxo had spat at you thanks to lo'aks communication device.
jake and neteyam personally held lo'ak back from killing the metkayina in front of him.
"YOU FUCKER! YOU CALL HER A WHORE WHEN YOU'RE THE ONE STICKING YOUR DICK IN ANYTHING THAT HAS A FUCKING HOLE, YOU PUSSY–"
"lo'ak, that's enough," jake said, trying to restrain his youngest son.
"NO, HE'S RIGHT! DAD, LET ME GO! LET ME BEAT HIS ASS!" lo'ak looked over to see tonowari and another warrior holding ao'nung back, but the look on tonowari's face showed that he was seconds from ripping rotxo limb from limb for what he had said to his daughter.
that's when lo'ak noticed you weren't in the marui. pulling himself from his father and brother's restraints, he ran out, immediately going to all your favorite places on the island, trying to find you.
he searched the shallow reefs on the east side of the island. he visited the ilu pen on the south part of the island because that's where you kept your ilu. he checked the floral shoreline on the northwest part of the island, knowing that you loved getting all your flowers from there, whether it was for your hair, a top, or a gift for the new boy on the island.
lo'ak noticed a forest line near the floral shores, so he also decided to check within that area in case you were wandering around there.
walking through the forest area kind of reminded lo'ak of home. he had been reminiscing on the flora of his home when he heard what sounded like crying—very loud crying.
immediately arming himself, prepared to protect himself or someone else. lo'ak stepped into the clearing, seeing you kneeling over the stream, fists clenched into the ground beneath you as you let out the most heart-twisting cries he had ever heard.
you were crying so loud you hadn't even heard the forest boy approaching you. feeling arms engulfing you, you began to panic. whoever it was immediately tried to soothe your struggles, and much to your surprise, you listened. you felt warmth, security, and comfort. things you never felt around rotxo, at least, not anymore.
"mawey, y/n. mawey. try to match my breathing," it was a familiar voice, but with all the physical and emotional pain clouding your senses, you couldn't pinpoint who it was. regardless, you tried your best to match his breathing, your heavy breaths slowing to quiet sobs and whimpers. it felt like your heart was really breaking. this realization was painful. rotxo didn't love you. he was using you.
you just wanted to be loved, and rotxo made you feel that way for a while. but that was the problem; it only lasted a while. then everything went to shit, and you were left cold and alone while rotxo was out cheating on you and forcing you to fake a smile for everyone around you so that you wouldn't ruin his reputation.
your cries had died down, and you were resting within the hold of the person behind you. his hushed words of comfort hadn't stopped, praising you for controlling your breath as he soothingly rubbed your shoulders. when you calmed down enough, you turned to look at the source of your comfort. it was honestly one of the last people you expected it to be.
you would've thought your brother or sister would find this secret spot before the forest boy did.
"lo'ak, what are you doing here?" you asked him, trying to escape his grasp and wipe your tears at the same time. lo'ak was quick to grab hold of your hands, preventing you from moving away from him.
"mawey, y/n. just relax. i'm here for you, and you can cry all you want to, sevin. i am not going anywhere." his voice was so comforting as he pulled you back into his embrace. you just sighed as you felt another wave of tears coming to your eyes. so you cried it out, relieving every sob, scream, and cry you had ever kept in, and lo'ak stayed with you through it all. never once letting you go and never stopping his whispers of reassurance.
when your sobs died down again, you noticed he intertwined his fingers with yours. you hadn't noticed his hands before. you weren't aware, but your ears perked up a bit, and your tail started to rev to life a bit when you saw he had five fingers instead of four. you wordlessly detangled your hand from his, causing the boy's ears to fall flat to his head.
you noticed his hands. did you see him differently now? his thoughts started as a drizzle quickly forming into a hurricane, but when he felt both of your hands grab one of his pulling it closer to your swollen eyes so you could examine it better, he chuckled. he thought it was cute, seeing you fiddle with his fingers as your soft sniffles continued. if this was distraction enough to keep you from crying, then lo'ak would let you play with his hands 24/7.
you didn't know that lo'ak's hands were his biggest insecurity, so the way you played with them and looked at them with wonder and not worry made his heart swell. lo'ak had not thought his life would be turned upside down like this, being forced to move away from his home and learn new ways of life. he hated it. but willingly getting to know someone and maybe even starting to fall for her had to be the best thing on that list. lo'ak knew he liked you for a while but never made any advances as you were taken. even though he could've been treating you so much better.
he loved how your hands felt in his and how your smile brightened up an entire room. he loved how attuned to nature you were. you hadn't even realized the school of fish swimming around your ankles rested in the river before you. it was as if the animals were trying to comfort you, too, somehow being able to sense your distress.
“y/n. do not listen to him. he is nothing but a lowlife who derives pleasure from others' pain," lo'ak started ranting, not caring if you were listening. he just wanted to speak his mind. "you are beautiful, y/n. the most beautiful, strong, loving, kind, graceful na'vi i've ever had the chance to meet. if moving away from my home means i get to find a new home here, with you, i would fly, walk, jump, or crawl my way here a hundred times over. i would do anything to be with you properly. i want to heal you from that asshole's mistakes. i want to show you what it feels like to be loved. not because you are olo'eyktan's daughter. but because you are you."
his eyes remained focused on yours as he recited every word. but you could tell he wasn't speaking something memorized or forced; he was speaking from his heart. you could hear it, as if eywa herself was whispering it to you. but you were hurt. could you trust someone so soon?
almost as if he could read your thoughts, he spoke up again.
"i know your trust is weary right now, but let me prove it to you. i will court you properly, meet your parents officially, ask for their blessing, i–" lo'ak sighed, almost as if he didn't want to continue, but he did. "i'll even stop fighting with ao'nung." that got a laugh out of you.
"lo'ak, are you sure about that?" you asked, looking up at him through your tears, flashing the first genuine smile he had ever seen on you. he was amazed. if he thought your fake smile lit up a room, then your genuine smile could bring light to an entire clan.
"i would do whatever you want me to do, syulang. i just want to be with you. i want to love you if you'll have me. we can take things at your pace. i'm in no rush because, for you, i would wait forever," he yearned for you, waiting patiently to see if you'll accept him.
you couldn't find any reason not to. this boy had to have been sent to you by eywa. he was meant to be the remedy to heal your heart after this tragic breakup. you were crying, but they were tears of joy and relief. you were finally free. free to feel love. free to feel happy. free to be you.
in the heat of the moment, you felt something wiggling under the ground beneath your leg. looking down, you see a glow worm inching up your leg. most do not know, but since the metkayina spirit tree is underwater, these little glow worms come up from the sand or appear on or around you whenever eywa tries to give you a sign. they're the metkayina equivalent of a woodsprite.
you could only gasp at the sight of the tiny creature. so he really is eywa sent? you thought as you saw a glow worm crawling up lo'ak's shoulder. this caused you to laugh, seeing as he also noticed the glow worm on his shoulder and started to panic, trying to flick the bug off his shoulder without hurting it.
"kehe, don't do that," you said as you grabbed his hand to prevent him from hurting the poor thing. you carefully placed your hand in front of the glowworm, allowing it to crawl into your palm. you took lo'ak's hand in yours, facing his palm up to allow the glow worm to walk from your hand to his.
"what is this?" he asked as he brought his hand closer to his face turning it as the glow worm walked around.
"i've heard about omatikaya woodsprites from kiri. they are like that but for the reefs. they are sent from eywa, meant to be wordless messengers," you explained to the forest boy.
your forest boy.
lo'ak couldn't help but smile at you, processing the words you had said. as he spoke again, he held nothing but love in his eyes, "y/n, i see you. oel ngati kameie," he gently held your face in his hands to ensure you made eye contact with him as he said it to you. you cried even harder because rotxo had never said that to you. and you're glad he didn't because you wouldn't have been able to say this back,
"oel ngati kameie, forest boy."
#avatar 2#avatar wotw#avatar the way of water#awotw#avatar x reader#lo'ak avatar#lo'ak angst#rotxo x reader#avatar rotxo#rotxo angst#atwow rotxo#oocrotxo#lo'ak#lo'ak x reader#lo'ak sully#lo’ak x reader#loak sully#lo'ak te suli tsyeyk'itan#awotw x reader#awow x reader#atwow loak#atwow angst#atwow oneshot#atwow imagines#atwotw
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yap alert about jenny and the first time she smoked with mikey post-squip:
ok so i do think that jenny also smokes, just not as much as mikey. i think being high calms mikey down and shes super chill, laid back, yk , cool, jenny on the other hand ..
being high calms her anxiety but since it calms her down it makes it alot harder for her to ignore certain thoughts that she chooses to push down when shes not high, mainly guilt. its happened before but on numerous occasions she is found dissacociated and upset due to overwhelming guilt, with things like her mother leaving and such.
well post squip, the guilt is EXTREME. and it definitely takes a long while for mikey to be able to convince jenny to smoke again, as jenny is afraid of doing anything that could mess with her mind (she will never ever drink mtn dew again)
but similarly to alcohol being a depressant and shutting the squip off, mikey tells jenny that weed should be okay for her, so, they get together to hangout.
they smoke, get high, mikeys chill, playing video games when all of a sudden jenny just starts sobbing??? breaking down. the guilt of everything that happened with the squip and mikey and brooke and such is killing her so she just starts bawling. mikeys like ??? oh my god are you okay jen whats wrong?? and jenny explains that shes so so sorry and shes so upset and everyone hates her and mikey tries comforting her but fails as shes .. really high, so. mikey says she will call christine and explain, jenny of course, being upset by all of this doesnt want christine to know she smokes weed (another thing she is guilty about) but by time jenny can mutter "no dont tell her im smoking weed 😢😢😭" christine has already picked up the phone and heard this (she doesnt care lmao) shes worried ab her gf and mikey asks if she will come over.
christine comes, jenny sobs some more and says how much she doesnt deserve her and all that blah blah, christine takes it all in and isnt bothered, she just wants jenny to feel better. they eventually lay in mikeys bed and christine cuddles and comforts jenny as she falls asleep (weed makes her sleepy lol) and she manages to get up and leave without waking her, asking mikey to text her when jenny wakes up to make sure shes okay.
sooo. jenny sleeps for nine hours 🤔 and wakes up completely sober, a little confused as to where she is then realizes shes at mikeys, mikey, who stayed awake the entire time, is there to be like oh youre awake! jenny forgets completely that she even smoked, their convo would pretty much go like this:
j: oh gosh how long was i out for?
m: oh yk like nine hours
j: NINE HOURS?? oh my god?
m: hey are you alright?
j: yeah??
m: youre not upset anymore?
j: i was upset?? what do you mean?
m: yea dude i mean i really didnt know what i was gonna do you seemed like youd never STOP crying
j: i was crying? so you put me to bed??
m: i didnt. christine did !
j: chrstine???? but im at your house??
m: i didnt know what to do so i called christine!!!!
j: you did WHAT?! why was i upset why was i crying?? why did christine come here?? why did i sleep for nine hours??????
m: okay okay jen woah youre getting hostile 🤔🤔 listen, we smoked some weed. you! got really weird. i was super high. so i called christine, and you were like "dont tell her im smoking weed" but she was already on the phone and totally heard, so then she came over and you kept crying and were like "waahhh christine i dont deserve you" but she knew you were high and was okay with everything and she just , yk, waited until you fell asleep and then she left! oh i gotta text her by the way, let her know youre awake and alright.
j: well idk if im alright... (embarrassed)
then mikey obnoxiously takes a flash photo of jenny, who is sprawled in mikeys bed, confused and embarrassed as hell
christine, whos been FIGHTING to stay awake (not a night owl at all) waited the whole time for that text and as soon as she responded she CRASHED, out, sleepytime.
sorey for such the long post i just fucking love jenny and my au so somuch i wanted to share this with tumblr i doubt yall will care but thanks for reading if you made it down here
#yap#yap alert#yapper!!!#yapfest#be more chill#lesbian be more chill#jeremy heere#jenny heere#lesbian#ouchsharks lesbian be more chill rewrite#bway be more chill#michael mell#mikey mell#christine canigula#stagedorks#stagedorks bmc
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you know what i just saw some more of that weird ass reward for getting all shrines in totk, and tbh im still so
what is that?? there are no dog like sentient species in this version of hyrule?? the most is the sonau themselves but they got no tails??? i dont think anything in this hyrule has a tail like that? and sonau legs are pretty normalish human too areant they? they dont even have proper claws, just veguely longer fingernails- i guess there are the statues in the underground that kinda look like it (they dont got tails either tho do they??) but like ,,, theres nothing you can learn about them right? its never mentioned or even hinted at despite there being so goddamm much of the sonau still just up and functioning- their lil "material deposits" in the depths arent even withered beyond some plants growing on them, all their 'tech' (isnt it just .. magic tho? where the mechanism actually? its usually just some stone animated by green swirlies ... but ill mention that in another post) just runs perfectly like it was made yesterday
where does that thing come from?? and its supposed to the the HERO FROM THE TAPESTRY???? huh????? and its decked out in sonau clothing head to toe with clear gerudo refs too?? that so weird bc youd feel like there would have been some mention of this, especially considering that that thing is on the tapestry and impa(was it her? or purah?) RECOGNIZES ITS THE HERO FROM THE TAPESTRY???? like, CASUALLY even?? like a well known fact ?? did i miss some big lore part somewhere that talked about that dog gerudo sonau thing?? and if its on the tapestry that means it wasnt that long ago really (i mean ... all the sonau shit is still pretty much fully intact so arguing that they came and went in the time between totks past and botws past isnt that plausible either imo ..??) o how come you never see anything from that and yet its somehow completely known for them, and you cannot tell me she saw the abstract version of the hero and then looked at that armor and went thats the same bc two colors veguely matched or what?!! also given that its fully clothed in sonau stuff .. like the arms are literally raurus bracelets .. thingies, but then the sonau where supposedly a complete and unknown mystery until it suddendly came all raining from the sky and revealing its been there and EVERYWHERE the whole time apparently? with the most we knew was some flimsyly made stereotypical barbaric armor set in faron in botw? which i guess is also fully undone by totk since it shares absolutely zero in desing to the 'actual' sonau stuff we got in totk
and if it where some sort of descendant from the mix of kids rauru and sonai kinda .. must have had (unless they did away with zeldas bloodline stuff too .. which .. why even call it zelda anymore at this point lol) then again, where did those features come from (like the tail and red hair, the strange googly eyes? is there a mix of goron in there too??) and how was it then not documented or seen anywhere else?? youd imagine the mutant kids of the first tragically dead king and queen of this hyrule would be known in some way .. that is assuming it was that, but given the weird features no other species has still is ... it just doesnt add up
(i had the awful thoguht for a second that it might supposed to mean the gerudo came from that but .. the gerudo are already there LITERALLY the 1:1 same as in the present, just like all the other species ... which is also disappointing as hell, like seriously? not even different feather colors for the rito? literally the same clothing for the gerudo as in botw but white with golden stuff instead?? some vaguely different zora features? idk ? anything? also the hero would never be gerudo, we know only evil comes from that *explodes*)
if its supposed to be a mystery then they absolutely failed in making it any interesting or intriguing but still something that feels like its part of the world, like botw was very good at giving you mysteries you wanted to talk and theorize about that still felt organic, harmonic with the world, but in totk its all either boring answers or just ... completely out of nowhere and just kinda stumps you (in a bad way)
*sighs* yet antoher ramble rant, this game could have had it all, it was right there on the plate in front of them all they needed to do is grasp at it, why wouldnt you ..
totk will never not frustrate me huh ಠ_ಠ
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#totk#ganondoodles rants#i dont like it#its so?????#why even touch on that#you did all that to botws legacy and then cant even leave the tapestry alone??#its not even a focus#like#what#you act like botw never happened but then insert this into the whole tapestry thing#its also just kinda boring#like look theres sth people wondered about QUICK make it sonau somehow and also raising more questions (in a bad way)#like theres good kinds of confusion but theres also bad ones and totk imo does it only bad#no thank you id rather forget that thing was ever mentioned in connection to the tapestry
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Predictions for Next Year’s Prema Seats
Wanted to put my thoughts out there (I know Ugo was already announced but I'm just curious how close I'll be with this)
FIA Formula 1 (I know Prema isnt racing in f1 just put this here cuz im going based on this year's Prema teams)
Oliver Bearman -> Haas
Andrea Kimi Antonelli -> Mercedes
FIA Formula 2
Gabriele Minì
Arvid Lindblad (Campos Racing)
Dino Beganovic (Not prema)
Honestly kind of the hardest to predict. I think MinÌ is the one that makes the most sense cuz he's already competed in an f2 race and had a pretty strong f3 season. Arvid has already been announced for Campos Racing. Dino is rumored to be having financial troubles so it's unclear if he'll be racing in f2 next year. If he can figure out finances, I can see him staying with prema. If he doesn't stay, I'm not too certain who prema would sign. Maybe they'd call up Rafa but that's kind of a far jump from FRECA (yes I know kimi just did that but......) Ofc they could choose another f2 driver or a maybe an f3 driver that's not currently with Prema but I dont know the rest of the grid well enough to say for certain
FIA Formula 3
Ugo Ugochukwu
Rafael Câmara
James Wharton
I think these just make the most sense based on their FRECA performance this past season. Finances allowing I can easily see them all continuing with Prema for F3
Formula Regional European Championship by Alpine
Freddie Slater
Alex Powell
Doriane Pin (Iron Dames?)
Maya Weug
This one's also a little hard. I was thinking I don't just want to only have the guys moving up and FRECA is the next step after F1 Academy. Doriane and Maya have both had really strong F1 Academy seasons so I can see them moving up to FRECA. Doriane is currently competing with Iron Dames in FRECA so it could just be that she stays with Iron Dames. If Maya and Doriane don't move to FRECA, Kean and Tomass or maybe Rashid moving up to FRECA
Italian Formula 4
Kean Nakamura-Berta
Rashid Al Dhaheri
Tomass Stolcermanis
Dion Gowda
Oleksandr Bondarev
Again, this is assuming that Maya and Doriane move up and compete with prema in FRECA. I can easily see Kean, Rashid, Tomass, and Dion sticking with prema (again finances and other things willing). Also, they're most likely gonna have Oleksandr Bondarev move up to f4. He's already racing with Prema in karting and he's already done an F4 race so like i will be SHOCKED if he doesn't move up to f4 with prema (though i guess, stranger things have happened in the 2024 motorsports world LOL)
F1 Academy
Tina Hausmann
Nina Gademan
Ella Lloyd
Again this is under the assumption that Maya and Doriane both move up to FRECA. The two of the could stay in F1 Academy since they're all in their first year of F1 Academy (and could even compete in FRECA cuz Doriane is doing it right now). But if they decide to leave F1 Academy, I can see prema signing Nina Gademan and Ella Lloyd. The two of them both raced as wild cards this season with prema and did pretty decently! Other than that, idk who else they'd sign since i really dont know karting and I don't think there's any women racing in Italian F4 that might move to F1 Academy
IndyCar
Callum Ilott
Robert Schartzman
Figured I should add Indycar since prema is going to be racing in indycar next year! Nothing super interesting predictions-wise since Callum has already been confirmed for next year. Robert is the main rumor for the other seat and I feel like that makes the most sense since he came up through f3 & f2 with prema.
Anyways, those are my predictions! Obviously, there's a lot of room for change and we don't really see a ton that's going on behind the scenes. Aside from finances, drivers might just decide that they don't want to race with prema anymore or maybe prema decides to drop them as drivers, it's so hard to say. I think especially as someone who literally just got into f1 this season, there's probably a ton i don't know about that might skew these predictions. ALSO i really don't know other drivers outside of prema so i don't really know if there's anyone vying for a prema seat but it's possible that non-prema drivers could sign with prema fo 2025. So I guess just think of these predictions as solely based on performances from this season and nothing else LOL
Excited to see what comes from these predictions and excited to continue to follow and cheer on prema in 2025!
#prema racing#predictions#dino beganovic#alex powell#gabriele mini#ugo ugochukwu#rafael camara#james wharton#freddie slater#maya weug#doriane pin#kean nakamura berta#rashid al dhaheri#tomass stolcermanis#dion gowda#oleksandr bondarev#tina hausmann#nina gademan#ella lloyd#callum ilott#robert schwartzman#predictions for 2025#2025 season#formula 2#formula 3#FRECA#f1 academy#Formula 4#formula regional#indycar
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