#she got a whole ep to shine

[urhoneycombwitch]

one ‘my love’ from Natalie Berzatto would fix me

[bacchuschucklefuck]

the nsbu table is five DM pets and rekha shankar

[goldsainz]

THEY BROKE UP? — one shot.

pairing: daniel ricciardo x reader

MASTERLIST.

NOTE: i’m a sucker for angst😁 i don’t know why i felt so inspired, i have never been in a relationship. or what drove me to write that article, which i didn’t spend as much time on as you would think, i guess i was inspired. please enjoy this, happy danny ric grand prix (not anymore😐)!!! this is my longest social media piece to date (templates by @mybodywakesup)

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yourusername my EP “FWD” is out in all streaming platforms! this EP comes from a very deep, personal and heartfelt place. many nights of non-stop writing led to me putting out 4 songs i never would’ve released months ago. thank you for giving me time to come back as the best version of myself.

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selenagomez I am so happy you released this! The world needs to see all of your talent shine ❤️

⤷ yourusername thank you for being there sel 🫶

ynfan1 I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR HOW HEARTBREAKING THIS WOULD BE

ynfan2 oh so we’re back to making us cry

dannielfan1 things i wish you said is so about daniel

user1 after 9 months of no content she just puts out four songs?

⤷ ynfan3 please read her newest vogue article before commenting things like this

alexademie i’m in love with you?

⤷ yourusername i’m in love with you too?

ynfan3 LONESOME BEST SONG!!!!!

When I got the call that Y/N Y/L/N wanted to do the article with Vogue, and that I was appointed as the writer I remember thinking ‘What will I say?’. There isn’t much to prepare you when a celebrity like her decides she wants you in her home, opening up about her hardships with you there to listen and write it all down. But, alas, I put my nerves beside me and took all of the questions the world wanted answers to, to the only woman who could answer them. 

Her house in the English countryside is just as perfect as you would expect. With dark mahogany floors, potted plants everywhere and white walls that are filled with different memories she framed, Y/L/N’s home is made for those who love the feeling of being at home. It brims with a cosy feeling, from the rugs she picked which bring an unexpected, yet welcome, warmth, to the open space that shows off her beautiful backyard. Y/L/N’s house is nothing short of exceptional. If each room were to speak to me they would all rave about how comfortable they feel, how there is no other that feel like a ‘home’ quite like theirs.

The moment I arrived at her front door, she was the one to open the door and greet me with a hug. There was no one but us at her house, nothing but the comfortable silence and the occasional chirping of a bird. Her outfit was casual, with some Stella McCartney jeans, a Prada silk blouse which she wears with the top 3 buttons open, and a pair of Hermes sandals, it all made her look relaxed whilst still looking polished. She offered me a single-couch to sit down on, offering me different options of beverages she proudly concocted. I opted for a refreshing blueberry lemonade, while she had an already drunk, half-full glass of orange juice. 

After what seemed like forever without her presence on red carpets, premieres or her famous F1 paddock appearances, Y/N Y/L/N created an enjoyable life for herself. She admits that even though there have been many hardships, she has pushed through them as best as she can. “Sometimes you just have to take a break, take a moment to look around and wonder what you really need.” She expresses, “This life isn't for everyone. I am very happy with how things turned out for me, and there is not one day I regret what I’ve done. But, there are moments in which things get out of control and space is needed.”

On the outside, Y/L/N has always appeared to the masses as someone who never falters in her step. From her modelling debut when she was freshly 18 years old, turning herself into the face of Prada back in 2012 when the whole world wondered ‘Just who is this girl?’. It wasn't long before she delved into the acting world, with her first role in 2014 for the critically acclaimed film ‘The Grand Budapest Hotel’ as ‘Agatha’. Everyone loved her, wondering what her next move would be, so the whole world was shaken when just a year later she released an album. ‘Honeymoon’ took the world by a storm, with emotional lyrics that only added to the mystery of who she was, Pitchfork said “It's an album about love, but "love", as Y/L/N sings it, sounds like mourning. The romance here is closer to addiction—something that's sought for its ability to blot out the rest of life's miseries…”. Nobody knows who drove her to write this, but the speculations never stopped, not to this day. On the inside, however, she struggled to know who she really was.

She talks about not having the right skills to cope with the sudden fame, how overwhelming it all would really be. Still, she never stopped putting out new content for her fans. Nobody could forget the girl who despite all the luxury that surrounded her, uploaded vlogs to youtube about her life. No one could take away her raw authenticity.

Maybe that is why when in May of 2022 her posts on Instagram, Twitter and Youtube came to a sudden halt, fans wondered what happened to her. What made Y/N Y/L/N drop from the face of the earth? Why did she stop appearing everywhere? 

The talk never ceased, the world could not let go of the woman they had grown up with and learned to love over a decade ago. “It was weird seeing all those rumours while I battled to know who I was. I tried as hard as I could to drown it all out, so I uninstalled every single social media app I had. I ended my connection with the world to reconnect with myself.” She says. “It was hard, but it was truly what I had wanted for a while.”

Since she appeared in the spotlight, her relationships or lack of, has been questioned. “I watched my female peers struggle to get away from their love lives, how every interviewer didn't care for the projects they were in, but rather who they were with at the time.” She recalls. “I was in a relationship with who I thought was the love of my life, for almost 7 years. It is rather jarring coming to terms that sometimes people grow, and that you are the one that needs out of a relationship which is nothing short of special. My concept of love was tarnished by a guy who was older than me, and another guy who was just as immature as I was. So naturally, I was swept off my feet when suddenly, all I ever knew wasn't how I thought it was.” 

Even now, after the heartbreaking experience she went through, Y/L/N only has kind words to say about the man she loved. “He is a true gentleman, he knew me like no one else did. I guess, along the way, I stopped knowing myself. That was the problem.” She says. “How can someone else know me when I don't even know myself? I asked myself that a lot. I like to think I know myself better now, I learned how to love every part of me, and that was the most rewarding journey. It wasn’t his fault, but I couldn't love someone else without loving me first.”

Self Love is a very important part of her life now. She puts her well-being over her need to succeed, something that made her iconic, was destroying her slowly. “Being an ‘icon’ to many stuck me in a box. There was an underlying feeling of having to always outperform others and myself, it was exhausting and that was how I started losing sight of myself.”

When talking about her future projects, Y/L/N expressed that she was “taking her time”. No more would she be walked over and feel pressured to put out new content, opting for a more relaxed and controlled lifestyle. Though she once was everywhere everyday, she now hopes to be mentioned when she does something valuable and not when she is merely existing. 

“I do have an EP coming out. It is just four songs, but I wrote them alone, and they are my most special songs to date.” She says. “One thing I do not want happening is for people I care for to be harassed or accused of things they are not responsible for. Music is a creative outlet for me, it is never made with the intention to hurt anyone.” She adds. “‘things i wish you said’ is my favourite. It’s the first one I wrote after my breakup, which makes it the rawest out of all of them. I think that's why I like it so much, the other three were written in different periods of my life, some even years ago. It will be fun seeing everyone dissect them.”

She decided to keep the EP to just four songs because all the others were too personal or she decided to keep them for another time. “I’m sure the world would love to know all the nooks and crannies of my past relationship, but that is something I would like to keep between him and me. I am ready to move on from all the pain, to leave it all in the past. If people want to remain stuck there, that is their own choice, I choose to be free and continue growing.”

Y/L/N’s journey is far from finished. She has not even turned 30 yet, but she redirects her narrative because it just does not fit her anymore. She is not that young 18 year-old girl who knows nothing, but rather a 28 year-old woman “ready to move on” as she puts it. 

At that point in our conversation, her previously relaxed demeanour has only grown. With her legs tucked on the black leather couch she has in her wide living room, an arm resting on a deep magenta pillow, she is in her own space. Y/L/N smiles and pays attention to every question I ask, she has no qualms in sharing. Though she sometimes opted to give no comment about certain situations, not once did she feel offended or made me feel out of place. 

As our conversation came to an end, she gave me one final piece of advice: “Only you can decide what's best for you. Once you learn how to manage other people’s opinions, there is nothing that can truly stop you from being uniquely you. Love yourself, you have one life, why live it in misery?”

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yndanielenthusiast i will never forget when they both posted the same picture to hard launch their relationship

view all 1,558 comments

ynfan22 what if this was my 13th reason?

ynfan23 we all remember where we were when this dropped

⤷ danielfan22 i woke from a nap, checked instagram and screamed so loud my parents thought someone died

⤷ ynfan23 so real

user21 missing them hours

ynfan24 nothing could’ve prepared for y/n confirming their breakup. nothing.

danielfan23 I NEED THEM BACK

⤷ ynfan25 THOSE TWO WERE LITERALLY MY PARENTS

liked by yourusername, redbullracing and 462,071 others

danielricciardo Don’t leave me hangin 🙃

view all 6,931 comments

ynfan31 y/n liking this😭

danielfan31 IM SO HAPPY HES HAPPY WITH RBR

ynfan32 say what you want abt y/n (don’t) but she’s handling the situation very maturely

danielfan32 he’s smiling while we’re all in shambles smh

⤷ danielfan33 right???

user31 I need him back on track asap

user32 am i delusional to think the caption means something else or…

⤷ ynfan33 yes.

⤷ danielfan34 yes.

liked by danielricciardo, taylorswift and 1,925,836 others

yourusername many things to come 🥂

view all 28,887 comments

ynfan41 istg if she says an album is coming

⤷ ynfan42 it would be crazy but i don’t think so

zendaya cheers to that!

liked by yourusername

user41 her smile <3

danielfan41 ariana what r u doing here🤨

taylorswift 🍾🍾🍾

⤷ ynfan43 I’M SCARED WHAT’S GOING ON

ynfan44 she has something cooking and i am not prepared

[funfactbuck]

so you’re telling me….

we have to watch buck watch eddie get shot. see eddie reach for buck before passing out. see buck, covered in eddie’s blood, roll under a truck to pull him to safety, all while calling out for eddie in panicked anguish AGAIN. hear ‘i got you, just stay with me’ and ‘are you hurt?’ see buck’s shell-shocked face and shaking hands. hear ‘he’s got a harder job tonight.’ see buck break down sobbing in relief and comforted by chris. hear bobby talk to athena about what it felt like when he thought he was gonna lose her - ‘i didn’t need to imagine anything, i knew what my life would feel like without you in it and it scared me.’ see buck seamlessly slip into the role of chris’s guardian. hear ‘the team feels off without eddie/not what i was asking about.’ see buck so crazed with guilt over not being able to stop a literal bullet that he recklessly throws himself into danger and makes himself a target. hear ‘what happened to eddie was not your fault/no i was just the guy standing there who couldn’t do anything to protect him.’ see buck run to eddie’s hospital room and his face light up when he sees him awake. hear ‘he doing okay?/better than me.’ see eddie’s disbelieving face at buck saying it would have been better if he’d been shot. hear athena say ‘i got you’ to bobby and that she needed to get her partner back, just to really shine a spotlight on what’s been going on this entire ep. see eddie trust buck with his whole heart when he reveals the contents of his will. hear ‘because, evan…you act like you’re expendable. but you’re wrong.’ see buck be the one to bring eddie home.

we have to go through all of that just for them to NOT end up together?? my head hurts

[bored-trans-orchidsexual]

Ratfish Musings

Absoultely loved this 2-parter finale. Was initially sad to not see the survivor premise be an every finale thing, but how appropriate to the spirit of game changer to make different finales, based on different reality game shows they like. NGL had never even heard of the circle before, binged a few seasons of it while waiting for ratfish pt 2.

The original show is... all right, it's a bit stereotypical, but a nice enough experience. Based on dropout's take, however, I'm trying to organize making a game out of this on discord and it could be fun, this is something we as fans can pretty easily replicate for ourselves on social media, and a pretty good finale for the season.

Like with many others I'm seeing on here, I found the ratfish character to be the weak part of the episode. Dropout on the whole, and that drag show in the first ep of thousandaires, is *really* building up a brand of personality with it's extended cast. Who these people are, how they make each other laugh, and the memories they make together in the experiences these shows provide, really creates a fun, wholesome, and engaging experience that just keeps building on itself. I think this is where the magic of dropout content can be found and when building on it, it just keeps getting better, but this ratfish idea... didn't land. I even saw a post from what I presume to be a fan of this guy, who found how little he was used annoying and that, not seeing the cast's reaction to him at the end, felt like a disappointment, so I have to ask 'why was this guy chosen'? His dry, kind of uninterested vibe didn't really add much to the experience, the amount of power he had over the game felt a little off putting, and even people who do like him, probably felt his minimal presence was a waste of whatever they like about him, it's not like he got a chance to *Shine* here. With this as my only exposure to this guy he seems kinda boring. What was the intent with this? Why did he have so much influence on a game that *heavily* relied on this group of co-workers and friends reading each other through the bits? Also it feels like Rekha got *snubbed* Like not only did she manage to land everyone's identities *before the final round*, without a reward of any kind and in fact, ended up with 2nd place because despite her skill the *ratfish* arbitrarily picked Katie's art (love to katie, not her fault) but also in the talkback portion it never even got brought up. She mentioned it to brennan's face and no reaction. Solving the game entirely *before it's over* should have been a bigger deal.

[zhuoyichenpretty]

aww yeah ep 20 GOOD

I guess I do (very casual, broadstroke) episode commentaries now, halfway through the show lmao. Spoilers below!!

Bai Jiu BETRAYAL?

Wen Xiao WANTED?

Zhuo Yichen DETECTIVE-ING?

Ying Lei BACK?

*crowd cheers*

The dots are connecting like crazy with the big bad's whole inner core crusade and also with the simultaneous demon case like I did not recognize Ao Yin as the demon Li Lun first released eight years ago but oooh do I enjoy that minor payoff.

Love the repeated use of the demonic-spell-restraining sigils now that we've been introduced to them though I wonder why the Bureau doesn't ever seem to make use of them. Maybe they don't deal with enough powerful demons to need to paint those in their own (very empty) dungeon? Or perhaps just plot convenience. (edit: someone has pointed out the Bureau indeed uses them!! I'm just blind <3)

Anyway I kind of wish in the Chongwu Camp dungeon PSJ fought a little bc she's so cool in action and their bailing was a little abrupt, but it makes sense that they'd have an immediate getaway plan. Also this is an ep 19 comment but that line Mr. 3-Face Mask delivered about PSJ being fated to always be betrayed by her little brother(s) HURT. So good.

Back to the Bureau, I do love me a good framing, and I'm also happy to get a tiny bit of the episodic demon-murder-case style back. WX was v clever to hide out in Situ Mansion, and (small detail but) I appreciate that the others catch her up on the Bai Jiu thing onscreen. As an aside, I also like that the actress for WX got to be double-casted even just briefly. Seeing some of the actors get to play around with portraying various extremes in characterization and costuming is a ton of fun.

And then yay Bai Jiu backstory at last~! It's crazy how much that blood moon fucked up everyone's lives eight years ago huh.

Everything ZYC says to him is on point (and honestly, ZYC is really quite adept at comforting others, he just sucks utter ass at it when it's his fault and he has to apologize lmaooo) but of course my favorite scene in the whole episode is as follows:

The very slight shine in the waterline, the bittersweet smile/grimace as, deliberately or not, ZYC's words indirectly echo everything about the circumstances between the two of them right now??? Whew. They did that for me specifically.

Anyway, this was a good one to chew on for me, packed with plot movement enough that I didn't feel unsatisfied with just one episode. I'm glad that so far it seems like the release schedule bears in mind what episodes should be watched in pairs for maximum effect (eps 16/17, 18/19 specifically) and which ones are okay to stand alone for the day, but I also don't want to speak too soon haha. We'll see how ep 21 fares.

Also since this is a ZYC stan account (lmao) I have some obligatory ZYC thoughts that I haven't managed to fit anywhere else. I've been meaning to comment on this for a while now and was reminded by this episode: I love the fact that ZYC actually smiles quite often. I think it's a bit surprising every time he does because he so easily fits the archetype of stoic broody action hero, but it really is just an archetype he's fit himself into, and it's never clearer than when they flash back to smiley baby!ZYC (how freely and purely he used to give those smiles away...).

On the other side of this is also how caustic and biting he can be with his words, whether sarcastically or otherwise, and how clearly his face telegraphs his emotions in general. I love that he actually emotes quite a lot and isn't cold and unaffected in the least, just pouty frowny and awkward.

The last piece to this for me is probably his age (which I very much appreciated being established super early on) and how convincingly TJR portrays him as young and inexperienced and extremely earnest. He's so sincere in everything he does that it really doesn't take much to move him, which also (imo) makes his arc less overdone.

We all know from the start what direction his development will likely go, how he'll learn he's mistaken about ZYZ and how he'll grow to have a more nuanced view of the world as he creates more bonds with others. But he's so emotional and emotionally aware that it doesn't really take much push and pull to get him there. And actually, it's not untread ground to him—he is moreso thawing, in part returning to the open-hearted nature that he had to very abruptly shutter away rather than fundamentally changing as a person. I think to me, that makes his character more compelling to watch because his cynicism about the world is perhaps the least sincere thing about him. It's entirely learned, and not by choice. Relatable.

[molinaskies]

Hello, on your recommendation (I think) I watched Sonic X in Japanese for the first time at the start of the year, I was also watching it in the English dub at the same time to see how different they were and oh my god, all the changes they did, the censoring, cutting out scenes (Chris' flashback hello???), not using the original soundtrack, like eggman's theme, come on. But one scene (of many) I was so disappointed about was when Amy gets kidnapped, and they cut out the little scene where she is telling Lily (the flicky) about telepathy and how when someone really cares about you they'll know how you feel, and they actually show that Sonic could hear Amy calling for him, but it was cut out in the dub!!

But besides this rant, I wanted to know you're opinion on the song used in episode 52 for the sonamy reunion. As I understand it, Natsu No Hi played in the Japanese version when it originally aired, but then they changed it to Hikaru Michi for copyright reasons. I've looked the lyrics up for both songs and although Natsu No Hi makes more sense for sonamy, I got accustomed to hearing Hikaru Michi because of the 2nd ending for the series, and with the whole clip of Sonic walking towards Amy in that same ending. I guess I was just wondering which song you liked better and if you think, there's anything in the song Hikaru Michi that could resemble sonamy?

Japanese sonic x supremacy

Haha, for real, I hope you enjoyed the original experience! For anyone who either knows the language or can manage subtitles, please—I am begging on my knees—watch the original Japanese Dub of Sonic X. I don’t care if you watched the English version and love it. I don’t care if you watched the English version and hate it. I don’t care if you are Chris Thorndyke’s biggest opp. Please watch it. It is 100% a different show and 1000% worth your time!!

As for the song, Hikaru Michi (The Shining Road) is very, very, very, very, very important to me. It is probably the quintessential sonamy song for me, and very fitting for their dynamic in the show. Sonic and Amy’s relationship (the true depths of it) has always been subtle. There’s always been another layer to their chase, and more and more recently those layers have been starting to merge in media. However, in Sonic X, their relationship is very “secret”, so I think the idea of the two of them sneaking off for occasional alone time or stolen moments, as the song implies, makes sense.

Not to mention, the song’s overall use in the show is phenomenal. It’s an emotional whammy… and it’s for that reason that I think I prefer Natsu no Hi for ep 52. While Hikaru Michi is very sonamy coded, Natsu no Hi is different and stands out at a time when it really needs to for the narrative!

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Saturday Lovely Fandom. We've reached the second to last ep of this series rewatch. Unreal. God I LOVE this ep. So so good. Tim being her handler. Reminds me of Alias. Which was my first love for tv show/ship. If you ever watched Alias you’d know why I love this asset and handler situation so much. Let us start.

5x21 Going Under

Start out strong Lucy is going UC. Has to do with the last episode. Frank Teska has been released from prison. He killed his brother for the attack on his daughter Dara. He is back in business. Looking to get into the Ghost Gun trade. You need specific polymer to make them. Metro raided and took his supplier out. Which is where Lucy comes in. She will pose as someone at Southland Chemicals. Be his new supplier.

We join our ship talking about the OP. Tim mentioning he’s using Hard Luck as his CI. Lucy not trusting this guy as far as she can throw him. Tim’s reply is the best. The fact that his CI knows how important Lucy is to him *squee* Then telling her as such. That this guy knows Lucy is special to him That if he messes up Tim will hunt him down. Gah I love this. Calling in favors for his girl. Work version of romantic ha

Lucy’s sweet expression when he tells her this. Basically saying he loves her in not so many words. Lucy being Lucy calling it 'Undercover love.' hehe Tim isn't even fighting it anymore. Just smiles shakes his head and rolls with her antics. We all know he loves her for it. Damn they cute. Actions always speaking louder than words with these two. Lucy couldn’t be cuter as Tim walks away. Her smile saying more than words ever could about how she feels about this man.

Then we get these GLORIOUS phone calls. Like rom-com goodies up in this episode. Love me some protective Tim. Asking her if he needs to talk to her boss? Lucy waves him off. Says she's got it. Tim looking mighty fine Phew lord Scruffy, his sweater and his eyes popping in this lighting. Mmm. Lucy of course checking in on him next. I love this so very much. He won't tell her he's struggling.

So she's going to check on in him since he won't do as such. Tim knowing exactly what she means. Asking if that means he misses her? We all know he does but he deflects in the cutest way. Saying no. His smile when she calls him a jerk. But he's YOUR jerk Lucy haha. He is so damn smitten with her. Loves teasing and messing with her. Just as much as she does for him. One of their love languages shining through in this moment. My damn heart.

She asks if Tim can check in on Tamara? Tim doesn’t hesitate for one second. Of course he’ll check in on their daughter. Doesn’t want her to lose any focus on the job. We then delve into the cute snippet conversations that have my shipper heart fluttering. Lucy telling Tim not to watch 'Top Chef' without her. I love that they have a show they watch together. Makes me giddy. Such a couples thing to have that. Tim giving her crap saying he can’t make any promises.

Lucy asking Tim if he ever wished he had a normal job? Tim says without people shooting at him? Not once. Lucy replying me either. These tidbits are just fantastic. They both love their line of work so much. This whole talking about everything and nothing at all just shows the deep bond they have. Comes from riding together for years 12 hours at a time. Her being UC is isolating but they get to have these moments despite that. Little pockets of joy before this OP heats up.

Tim asking if she’s making any friends? Lucy going on about a lady in her office. It’s so cute I can’t stand it. Talking about his grandkids and such. I love this is so very much. They did a really good job with these shots and the VO's. I saw a lot of people saying felt like rom-com and it really does in the best way. Just being on the phone whole time. Even though they're physically apart they still find a way to connect and be together. It’s so sweet imma get a cavity.

Day 4 rolls around and Tim ask if the monotony is getting to her? Lucy tells him no as long as it’s not for nothing. I mean she had two weeks of it in 3x14. 4 days is nothing but now she has Tim so she's got more to miss this time around. I adore the voice overs in this scene. Tim reassuring her it’s probably cause Frank is double checking her story. I love this shot of Tim in the side mirror. Fierce protector reporting for duty.

Frank has finally surfaced and approached Lucy. Her cover story of being a wanted felon has worked out. Frank thinks she’s an easy target because of it. Lucy playing the fresh start card with him. Not wanting to get into business with him. She does this so well. He tells her not an option. That he needs certain plastics and she needs to not go to jail. Telling her it’s low risk.

Gah I love Tim watching over the situation from across the way. Looking fine af BTW. My god I'll never be over how tall he is and I love it. Tall drink of yum. Look at him in his civvies, the hat, the glasses, the intense way he's watching her. Listening in to their convo. Trying to keep his protectiveness in check. Doing his best not to step in. Especially when Frank threatens her. Which causes Lucy to say yes. Frank says they’ll have dinner tonight then. He’ll come get her from her place. They can hammer out the details of this new partnership.

Lucy meets up with Wesley, Harper, Grey and her man. They’re going over this date for her. Tim looks like he’s going to crawl out of his skin. He hates the idea of this guy possibly thinking it’s a date. He hates this entire conversation really. Keeping his hands in his pockets. Looks at the ground trying to settle his protective nature.

I love Grey checking in with Tim. Minute he hears the word 'romantically and date.' He immediately looks at Tim. Knowing he hates this on so many levels. Tim isn’t being at all discreet with how he feels about this situation. He's basically squirming in front of all of them. Tim continuing to try to put on a brave face. Not well but sure trying. His whole body language screaming his immense discomfort.

Tim is being the least subtle he’s ever been in this moment. Hating the idea she needs a good wire in case he’s handsy. You can see him take a deep breath and clench his jaw at the thought of this. This conversation is killing him softly. Some angsty goodness though. The check in's these two have above getting me in the feels before she sets to leave. That silent communication of their's prominent af. I LOVE him walking Lucy to the door. The intense looks they share on the way.

They both look amazing btw. He keeps constant eye contact with her till he can’t any longer. The intense longing in his stare as he watches her go. *heart clutch* His entire world just walked out the door and it shows. Eric crushing it with the longing look. This is the type of angst I eat up. It’s so so good. Worried Tim is lovely to behold. And that man is insanely worried. He is an open book as she walks away from him. Trying to keep himself from losing his damn mind over this man possibly touching her.

Grey immediately checking in with him. Man wasn't exactly subtle during that whole conversation. Asking Tim if he’s ok? Tim lying saying he’s 5x5. Such a detached military reply. When he is anything but detached in this moment. Wade knowing he’s lying. Their friendship is underrated. Grey saying he has to treat this like any other OP. Any other UC. Sure he'll get right on that. Thanks to Lucy his emotions aren't so easy to turn off anymore. Also not like it’s the love of his life he’s watching over or anything…

Lucy goes to dinner with Frank all wired up. Tim watching intently outside. Fierce protector at the ready. The intense look on his face as he watches over her is doing things to me. *fans self* Like a lion pacing back and forth in it's cage waiting to be let out. Ready to attack at the slightest provocation against her. It's insanely hot tbh. He would gladly throttle this man if given the chance to. All he needs is to be given a reason.

Lucy almost gets Frank to admit to his brothers death when bullets start flying. We watch Tim in an absolute panic call this in. Desperately searching for her in the wreckage from his car. Trying to find her as he rattles off their address. I love her jumping up and looking his way so he knew she was ok. His giant sigh of relief when her head pops up. Feel like we all did that with him. Went from all out panic to instant relief. I said in the hospital scene she is his whole world. That just got shot at and he was paralyzed until she popped up.

He couldn’t breathe until he knew she was alright. His whole body slumping against his seat in relief. Eric crushing it out here with his expressions getting me all emotional. I love how his eyes dart back to her once more before he takes off after the shooters. Double checking she really is there. He couldn’t even be in pursuit of them until he knew she was ok. You can see he wants to stay but can’t. Having an internal battle but knows he has to go after them.

His cop brain in a delay due to this. This delay in reaction definitely affects him in his pursuit of the shooters. Don't think he was fully there mentally. Tim's head was most definitely not in the game when he went after them. Taking us back to 5x01 when Tim told Lucy if her head isn't the game 100 percent it'll get her killed. He is the living embodiment of that line in this moment. This dude almost killed him. Even when the gun is in his face his reaction time is slower.

That is not the Tim Bradford we know and love in the field. He was clouded his emotions running rampant. He had not compartmentalized at all. When Jan shows up it really hits him what almost happened to him. Saying he got lucky it was empty. Otherwise…ugh I don’t even wanna think about it. He’s panting his adrenaline waning and it showing. Looking over where the guy was knowing this could've been far worse. Knowing what it would've done to Lucy.

I love the minute she’s done dealing with Frank Lucy calls Tim. Anxiously awaiting him to answer her call. Both so worried about one another. Gah this episode is fantastic. Never seen Tim this panicky or shaken up. This is a UC OP he’s involved in I can’t imagine how he’d be if he wasn’t.

He just loves her so much. Having a legit meltdown till he knows she’s ok. It’s all over his face as he talks to her on the phone. Eric killing me softly in this one. Lucy isn’t pulling any punches with her worry either. Both making me emotional as hell. Tim replying ‘Yeah I am now.’ *internal screaming* Wasn’t ok till he knew she was.

The love they have for each other is all over this moment. I’m not crying you are…You can see all the tension leave his body when he hears her voice. The neediness in both their voices when he says they should meet up. Gah yes you do. They needed to hear each others voice to calm down after that adrenaline fest.

Then we come to THE laundry scene. One that broke my damn brain. Pretty much broke the entire fandom's brain. I love how she rushes to him and clings on. Wanting zero space between them. Tim leaning into her arms. Rubbing his hand up and down her back. I’m sure both their hearts were racing. They are each other’s safe space and this hug shows that.

So scared and only finding comfort in each others arms. So much emotion surging through them in this hug. I love me a good hug and this one is fantastic one. Trying to ground one another with it. Speaking their concerns about what they just went through. The swaying gets me too. I love everything about this hug.

Lucy basically launches herself at him. He catches her effortlessly and holds her so tightly to him. The remaining tension melting out of of their bodies. Because they were running on adrenaline and anxiety until this hug. Tim holding her so close making sure she’s real. There with him. I’ll never be over this moment and how lovely it is.

This next portion just proves why Lucy is his person. Tim is losing his mind with worry over this guy. Over him trying something. His anxiety coming off him in waves. Lucy wants to soothe him because it's her natural instinct. Tim looks like he wants to cry or punch a wall or both when he ask if he’s tried something? Lucy reassuring him he hasn’t but even if he did she’s got this. The fierce protector coming out strong right now. He can barely contain it. Tim deflecting a little saying ‘I know.’

Lucy knows this man so damn well. Telling him knowing and feeling ok are two different things. She's so right. I love the way she grabs his jacket trying to comfort him. Tim is being so soft and vulnerable in this moment. She wants him to know it’s ok. She’s ok and it’s very ok if he isn’t. Eric killing this episode left and right with his expressions. His heart is hurting it’s all over his face and Lucy is reaching out with a reassuring touch. I love her for validating his feelings. Not judging him for them.

But also knowing he’s being very vulnerable right now and she’s being wonderfully receptive to that. Tim gets a little defensive saying. Not his first time. Lucy is SO good with him. Doesn’t shame him for being bristly about this. Knowing it’s his PTSD in full swing. So soft in her reply and expression. Letting him know probably what’s making this so much worse for him. This is why she’s his person. Never shames him for his feelings only loves him through. Gah they’re making me so emotional. I love this couple so much.

Before Tim gets anymore emotional he tells her he has to go. Now isn’t the time to talk about this. That he knows if she doesn’t feel safe she will bail. If she’s good he’s good. Lucy confirms she’s good. Tim says he has to get back to the station then. Grey is waiting for a status update. Lucy stops him before he can go. Not ready to be apart from him just yet.

Grabbing his arm keeping him from leaving. I love the way she is looking at him landing on his lips. Then she says the 4 words that made us all collectively lose our minds. ‘Lock the door first.’ Is this real life? Did we really get this moment? Adrenaline fueled we made it out alive laundry room sex? Oh my damn lord.

The way he looks at her when she says this. *fans self* Tim is definitely not treating her like any other UC…I remember gasping at her saying this. Needing to be with him in this moment. Tim’s smile realizing what she’s saying. My god. Laundry room sex is now canon for them. We got shower sex last ep and now laundry room post-op sex. My god the writers were good to us. I like being pandered too LOL Also you know there is a damn good chance highly likely really this was unprotected too.

Lucy couldn’t let him walk away yet until she had him. Hot damn. Tim not one to deny her anything is easily roped into her naughty plans. I’m still not over the risks they took to have this heated moment together. They had a frenzied hookup while she was on assignment. I’m dead. They’ve actually killed me in the best way. S5 truly is a fic come to life. I love every minute of it. Clearly missing and craving sexy time with her man. Also probably still hopped up on adrenaline as well. Undercover hookup phew lord we are blessed haha

Lucy calls Tim after she gets away with Frank from the warehouse. Saying the OP is done. Frank has nothing left to build. Tim is flirty af in his reply. With a shit eating grin to go with it. Saying that’s too bad... Lucy is confused and says why? Tim referring to their hookup in the laundry room. Bummed he wasn't going to get another. Timothy Bradford I never haha This man is so different when he is truly loved and happy my goodness. I couldn't love it more.

Hard to believe this entire episode is canon. Tim is definitely loving his sex life with Lucy and proud to let her know about it. Hell so are we haha Horny Tim is hilarious and I love him so. They could find another laundry room for a repeat performance if he would like LOL Fanfic come to life this season swear to god. We live in a world where this scene happened and I’m dying.

They return home because at this point it’s their home. Gah love how Tim looks at Lucy as he approaches her. Man is so insanely in love with her. Lucy saying she needs a big meal, hot bath and quality sexy time. Heh. Then to sleep for 24 hours straight. I love how Tim encases her hands in his caressing them as they speak. Running his hands up and down hers. Needing this connection.

I love Tim being the physically affectionate one of the two. I always knew once they got together he would be the one who couldn’t keep his hands off her. Touching really is one of their many love languages and I adore it. Never saw them nearly as touchy with their ex’s. Just another reason proving why they’re so right for each other. Gonna be the death of me and I welcome it. Lucy can tell something is up. Asking him what’s going on?

Oh my poor damaged boy. Having a trauma response right now with her saying she needs time to decompress. I love him not deflecting and telling her how he’s feeling instead. That’s not easy for him. I also totally get his response. I still have trauma responses to things as well. Lucy knowing it is telling him it was only a week. That one nights keep will do her just fine. Trying to say without saying she’s not Isabel. Tim accepts her answer.

Lucy says she has to come clean about some thing though. That she knows she made him promise not to. But she watched 'Top chef' without him. For shame Lucy Chen . For shame LMAO I guess that monotony did get to her since she finished it without him.... Tim is so offended I’m dying. Calling her a 'Bad girlfriend' *screams into a pillow* They’re so friggin cute I am dying. Lucy's 'No, I'm sorry!' It is horrible Tim is right haha Making him promise not to then watching it without him. Every right to be playfully mad at her.

Lucy wastes no damn time and confronts Tim about the shooter in the alley. I love her so much for always calling him on his shit. Saying how he didn’t tell her he almost died in that alley. Tim brushing it off saying because he didn’t. Oh Timothy. Acting like her losing you wouldn’t completely wreck her. Absolutely devastate and ruin her like it would for you. I think that’s exactly why he did it though. Acting like it’s not a big deal when he knew it was.

Protecting her from that fact. Lucy coming at him saying doesn’t matter who told her. That they’ll set aside the fact he left it out of the report. 2x01 Tim would be appalled ha. Doing it for the same reasons Lucy did then. Insane how this same kind of fight still involves Isabel indirectly. Lucy can’t believe him right now. Acting like it’s nothing. Like she didn’t almost lose him.

We see a little more trauma Tim come out here. Just assuming she's keeping things from him when she's under. I so relate to him reacting this way I do. I misread something my best friend had texted me the other day. I made an assumption like Tim is here. My friend was wonderful texted me back ‘ Your trauma is showing.’ And it knocked me out of it. It’s involuntary when it runs so damn deep. And we know it does for him.

I’m so glad Lucy is there to knock him back out of it. Saying No you know Isabel did for a fact. Calling him right out for it. These kinds of fights are so good for them. Forces them to face the stuff they’re hiding. Things they didn’t really touch on last episode. This was a much better and more open conversation. Tim didn’t hide behind being ‘fine.’ And Lucy isn’t letting him get away with it. Tim can’t fight that logic and it’s all over his face in the second gif. The way his body slumps in reply.

Lucy making a strong ass point next. Saying if this is going to work between them he has to see the difference. She not wrong. He really does. Tim shooting back of course he can. (Babe you got some work to do...) What I love the most is Lucy said her piece. Put him his place about this. Which was needed and now Tim is saying his. The dialogue in this scene so much more productive than 5x20 was. Airing things out and how they actually feel. Tim voicing his need to know she will listen to him if he sounds the alarm.

That otherwise all the pain he went through was for nothing. Then he says the line that shows me Lucy is the love of his damn life. ‘I can’t lose you the way I lost her.’ Tears in this man’s beautiful eyes. Imma cry myself. Finally voicing the fear he kept inside last episode. He cannot lose this woman My heart. She is everything to him. Pulled him out of the depths of his pain and hurt. Brought him back to life. He loves her so much and is saying as such in this moment.

Lucy can see this and reassures him he won’t lose her that way. She would walk away for him if it ever got that close. Ugh my heart. He sounded the alarm earlier and she shut it down. So they both have stuff to work on. I mean it's why he brought it up. He felt like he was sounding the alarm in the laundry room. Lucy brushed it off saying she didn't want to tap out. But them having this conversation hopefully they can be more aware of these things for a future OP and in general really. The need to openly communicate is a must.

Tim says 'Okay.' Choosing to trust what she is saying. Then we get another glorious hug. The way he clings to her. His hand around her neck pulling her to him is so visceral. He loves her so damn much and it’s shown beautifully in this embrace. How much she means to him. Pulling her in close. Lucy doing the same thing clinging to him like a life raft. Her arms pulling him close to her as well. We see both her hands on his shoulders. *sigh*I'm so proud of them for both speaking their minds in this scene.

Lucy calling Tim out was so needed. He has to see she isn’t Isabel. If not it’ll destroy him. No one gets through to Tim like Lucy. This scene was so raw and honest. Very much needed after all that was left unsaid in 5x20. Never be over them being vulnerable with one another especially Tim. Not only telling her he needs her to listen but sharing he CANNOT lose her. Basically laying any cards she didn’t already have from him on the table. So proud of him. He’s come so far and this scene shows it. I truly love the writers for how real they write them. Phew Lord this was a good ep.

~~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

Angela calling Aaron from closet about a case hilarious. The entire ep trying to do stuff for her I was laughing so hard.

Also nice to see Celina go out with a nice guy. She deserves it.

Well the next one is the last one holy moly. Thank you forever and always to those who like, comment and reblog these reviews. You all have made me so appreciated by doing so. I will see you all in the 5x22 :)

[deeneedsaname]

OKAY PEOPLE RECAP TIME!!!

This episode had *basically* everything. Let’s count em down!

For one, this episode was hilarious. All of them are, but with such ha star-studded, talented cast, this episode really shines.

Mabel is so done with everything, with everyone. My poor girl needs a nap.

Charles and his sister’s dialogue felt so realistic and accurate, and it was so cute! “Can we just blame it on mom?”

TROPES! OLIVER AND LORETTA!!! We got SO MANY famous tropes with them!!! It was all so dramatic and adorable, and very much brought me back to other sitcoms I’ve seen with misunderstandings and lying etc.

Loretta fighting Charles’ sister??? And I LOVE her reaction “I fought a woman AND I WON!” It’s so in character for Loretta it just is

A DAMN PROPOSAL!!!! IT WAS SO CUTE!!!! My heart rate this whole episode was worse than Oliver’s during season 3, but their acceptance of each other being crazy, their unabashed love for each other and her proposing to him are all SO SO CUTE???? (Also this episode does soothe my fears a little that they won’t do some weird “happy” breakup type thing where they separate so she can be in Hollywood and they’re glad to have been in each other’s lives etc, I eel like they hopefully won’t do that now but etc a post for another day and not at one in the morning)

Also Oliver being all giddy is just. My previous boy i love him so much

THE TRIO IN PAJAMAS!!! In what I am already predicting will be underrated is the fact that we get to see them all in their cute robes!!! I love my murder babies so much!!!

THE ACTORS WEREN’T ANNOYING!!! For the first time!!! It was actually a really good moment, and harkens back to season 1 when they had their fans help them solve the case, and I’m glad the show hasn’t lost this message - no one group of people is going to be perfect at solving a case, and it is *always* important to get outside perspectives!

SEASON 1 STUFF! The note on Jan’s door, Winnie, everything!! Is it possible the westies were being everything??? It can’t be, right? This is usually the point in the season where we get closer, but not to the final true killer yet.

Finally, a happy ending for the ep! Look at them all on the boat!

All in all this was an amazing episode and I am going to go an pass out because that was a LOT.

[msp9]

WHATS HAPPENING IN CASA DE CHAOS #part 1: YAZ/Yasmina (mostly her ptsd, analyzing screenshots)

⚠️SPOILERS⚠️

This is gonna be my series of me yapping about each character, for example what have they been up to, hopes, speculations, theories... etc. (from the info we have from the clips and ep 1)

So Yaz, or should i call her doctor Yaz? Get it? Bc she's a phycology student.... Career: Never mind so as i said apparently, Yaz is studying psychology in college, for what i assume like around 3 years depending when she started. This is such a big step for her character's growth. After everything she's been through, including her mental health struggles and internal conflicts, she's switched gears and is now pursuing a degree in psychology to help others who may have experienced similar traumas. Also in the clip, she seems excited to show Sammy her new project, which suggests that she's genuinely enjoying her studies and feels passionate about the field. She went from a she's-a-runner-she's-a-track-star to a mature phycology student. Overall, this shows that Yaz is now dedicated to making a positive impact on others through her education and future career. I'm so happy for her. It makes sm sense for her character to pursue this specific career. Overall, looks like shes been fine on the island. (not) .

Ptsd: So Yaz seems to have moved to a non-dinosaur island of some kind. Personally i assume that is for her trauma and struggles when the dinosaurs got to the main land. (and obviously safety) She is obviously the most effected one from jwcc.

Now in trailer 3 we can see 1 moment that could possibly be connected to her Ptsd:

Here we see Yaz on the ground, she obviously looks scared but i wanted to point out the lights hitting her. They dont really look that "connected" to the scene? Im not sure how to axplain this... Just the way it shines on her clothes and hair and the fact that we cant see the backround clearly, looks like it could be some kind of illusion, or one of her dreams. To stand with my point is the exact next scene:

We see, a what I'm 99% sure is a dinosaur, attacking her. The coloring and environment is similar so we can assume this is from the same scene. It ofc cuts off before we can see anything else, to me it looks as if the camera shows Yas's point of view. Which makes me believe this is in fact a nightmares of hers. Another point i want to make is just how much darker this whole dream is. Just look at it!!! Its super darker compared to the season 4 ones. Plus in another clip they showed blood. So i wouldn't question if the nightmare were a lot worse then they used to. And the way the Dino attacks its dark yk? you don't even have time to react.

Basically where i want to get to is that, she is not done with ptsd yall.

3) Yaz and Sammy :Okay even if the clips don't showcase much. They have definitely not lost contact as Yasmina states "this is the project I've been talking to you abt". So obviously she has been talking abt it a lot. When it comes to why Sammy was acting out of character when Yaz was showing her project . My personal theory is that Sammy is just trying to make Yaz come with them and leave the island. and from what i speculate here we will probably get a yasammy argument. Overall they are probably together and from what we've seen we might get some tension between them. I'm all in for that. (As long as they don't breakup)

Thank you for reading my big Yaz rant, am i going to make more of these with the other characters? We'll see. Probably yes.

[mesmir-ized]

also apparently forgot to post p2ponies 😞… sorry !! orz

(cutie mark rambles below~)

i always think crazy hard about cutie marks they are like my #1 stressor when it comes to ponies……. so here’s why i chose certain cutie mark designs !!

also i tried really hard to make sure they all shared some colours , especially making sure to include each others’ colours !! i wanted to have the original masked circle all have a star somewhere (BC.astrology or something…) LOL , maya sort of stands out both in colours and cutie mark , but that was on purpose !!

tatsuya: his was 100% the easiest to come up with . it’s gotta be his lighter !!! not only is it like His Thing but also very much representative of the bonds with his friends , as well as everything that got them into the events of IS … both in the game and here , the lighter is a symbol of both destruction/power and connection/creation !! which really fits tatsuya :] you can also think of it being like he “lights the way” !! the little teal star is in lieu of the little prince quote , and it’s kinda clear who this star is meant to represent ;U

jun: THIS ONE TOOK FOREVER TO DRAW . my issue was i had an idea , but couldn’t figure out how to make it work !! i wanted to include both flowers and a shooting star and fought 1 million battles trying to figure it out….

i wanted to include a shooting star for many reasons !! stars obviously for jun’s love of stars , but also because the shooting star is a symbol of something to follow (like Jun making himself a leader/savior as joker) as well as being representative of wishes and dreams (which is joker’s whole thing !!) !!! i wanted to add 4 forget-me-nots for both the obvious meaning of memory and his love of flowers , but also to mimic other stars and represent both masked circles he was involved in ! i love jun if you can’t tell

lisa: though this one looks simple it actually was pretty thought-out !! i wanted to figure out a way to both have her love of kung fu and role as an idol represented , which led me to these sort of boom-flash symbols ! these symbols are meant to be representative of her personality (feisty and explosive, but also fascinating and even lovely !) as well as what i said earlier , both of her paths~ they can be read as punch SFX , as well as the flash of cameras/lights on stage !! they’re pretty simple , but i feel like they pack a lot of punch (LOL)~!!

maya: the standout girlie of the whole bunch !! i immediately had the sort of idea for an intersection of heart/moon , and came up with this ! the heart is for ahh.. reasons most people know , but also she’s just associated with hearts in general (think mr bunbun) !! they obviously are related to her compassion and big heart , and if we want to have a sort of more darker and serious inspection of it.. how she’s the heart of her friend group and the loss of that heart (literal and figurative , in many instances) makes everything fall apart .. i also wanted to include the moon for her association with the moon (and Artemis !) , which also serve to show her duality and antithesis to the heat and light of the tatsuyas ! i like to think the EP cast’s colours would be more based around her cutie mark colours , like how IS were all based around each others’ !!

eikichi: i struggled with this one the most & i think it’s obvious.. U~U; .. i wanted to , again , make a symbol that’s not too complex , but is able to encapsulate so many different elements of a character ?! i ended up coming up with this skull (for his association with death/self proclaimed title as the “death boss”) and rocker/vkei/darker alternative aesthetics in general~ the starry eyes are BC welll…! star ! and also because it’s like he’s “starry-eyed” and looking towards the future :] the little glowy shine thing is meant tp be a spotlight , like he’s in the spotlight ! maybe one day I’ll come up with soemthing better , sorry eikichi , i love you ! 😞💦

Okies that’s all !! hope you like my cutie mark rambles , i love explaining my thoughts !!! ^7^

[sevlawless]

dead apple's discography: 1/?

review taken from their local newspaper:

Dead Apple's debut EP 'Running Out of Time' has hit all streaming platforms, and despite the title, they are doing anything but. Their punk rock influences shine throughout, as well as co-lead singer Arabella Aveiro's love for Fiona Apple, partially to credit for their band name. The band consists of its other lead singer, Seven Duckstein, guitarist Rowan Hart, bassist Devyn Powell, drummer Jazzy Dawson, and Iris De Luca on the keys. Each track has a emotional tie in to at least one person in the group, making the five tracks feel as though you're experiencing their lives yourselves.

When the current 11th graders of our own Green Meadow High were asked about this, Aveiro simply said:

"We want to make music that people can relate to. I think it’s more rewarding when you create something that you love, and that other people can love as well. Making these songs with my friends has been so fun, and we can't wait to make more music together."

For everyone's sakes, let's hope this band never runs out of time.

cover and songs breakdown under the cut <3

the cover was taken by seven when the whole gang went to the city. devyn had just got her license and her parents let them take the minivan to fit everyone LMFAO and arabella stuck her head out the window on the drive home. earlier versions of the ep had seven on the back cover doing the same pose (arabella had taken that photo in return <3), but after the breakup any physical copies printed had the same picture on the front but blurred.

where the heart is

written by: jazzy and seven

the drums on this song YOU KNOW jazzy had a hand in this! she wanted to write a song for the ep and was kinda struggling but seven helped her out :) so this is one of their many co-written songs together <3 this being the opener is so fitting for me because of lines like "6:30 alarm, brush my teeth, and start the car" and "it's time to go home again, that's so boring"

starting off at 6:30 am, early in the morning, starting off this ep with this song just feels fitting to me! and the whole "i hate my town" rite of passage most punk rock bands go through!

favorite lyrics:

"all in all, i've always had the same thoughts riling up my heart // and all in all, i haven't changed a single thing to feel differently"

"my mind's been in a million places, but my body hasn't moved an inch"

"if i could just take a chance, i wouldn't feel so bad // to see past myself, i wouldn't feel so bad"

baby tonight

written by: devyn, arabella

this is just an iris and devyn love song im afraid! i have this VIVID headcanon of devyn coming up to arabella and being like "i wrote some lyrics for a song about iris can you help me out" and arabella IMMEDIATELY being on board! i imagine devyn inviting iris over to her house and the whole band already being there in the garage ready to play this song for her :) it's such a cute lil moment and i like to think whenever they have a gig on or around iris' birthday or their anniversary they play this song! they put this on their first ep because they love devyn and iris and SO DO I!

favorite lyrics:

"she's a diamond in my fucked up world // prettier than the pearls that lay around on her neck // she makes me so fucking SICK!"

"so baby won't you take my life? or maybe you could crush my soul?"

red with love

written by: seven

unrequited love is really something else huh LMFAO i like to think that seven wrote this after him and arabella went to a party and played spin the bottle which resulting in them kissing for the first time (which later on when they're dating arabella doesn't count it as their first kiss because her eyes were open and the kiss was horrendously bad because that's her BEST FRIEND and she CANNOT have feelings for her BEST FRIEND-)

anyways ! i think seven started developing some sort of feelings for arabella after that and this song is the product of a late night writing session on his roof. when he shows it to the band they're like "who the HELL is this about" and arabella just looks at him like she knows and is immediately just like "let's practice it right now!" much to seven's relief.

when they're dating though and they perform this song together i like to think that after the line "you kiss me so sweetly, it gets me high" arabella ALWAYS without fail would kiss seven on the cheek :)

they stop performing this song when seven leaves the band.

favorite lyrics:

"the sunlight through my windowpane illuminates your face // i need you closer and you're not even an inch away"

"when you come home, you call my name // believe me when i say // tomorrow i will love you more than i did yesterday"

"i can't seem to get enough // it makes me sweat, you’re in my head // it turns me red with love"

sleep to dream

written by: arabella, iris

this bitch loves fiona apple idk what to tell you. i imagine that during high school arabella dated the WORST people but that just fueled her writing so she wrote this after one particularly bad boyfriend. iris also helped with the piano composition! i fear these breakup songs will become a pattern for arabella in later works LMFAO

favorite lyrics:

"i tell you how you feel, but you don't care // i say tell me the truth, but you don't dare // you say love is a hell you cannot bare // and i say gimme mine back and then go there, for all i care"

"this mind, this body, and this voice cannot be stifled by your deviant ways // so don't forget what i told you // don't come around, i got my own hell to raise"

where the lines overlap

written by: arabella, rowan

just the first of MANY certified rowanbella classics! rowan came up with the basic chords and arabella wrote the lyrics. this song is just them basically saying we're so happy to be in this band with our friends and we hope that never ever changes and it WON'T… right?

anywayyyy.. this song is an absolute crowd favorite and whenever they play a gig they always play this one last :)

favorite lyrics:

"no one is as lucky as us, we're not at the end but oh, we already won"

"now i've got a feeling if i sang this loud enough, you would sing it back to me"

[kassandrasdisciple]

~~~ batman CC spoilers ~~~

Honestly this is the best DC project in years and a return to everything that was good about the og animated series whilst including all the elements of DC cannon that have been created or expanded upon since.

Just a few of my favorite things:

- the SETTING, going back to the 40s noir vibe is a perfect choice, the fights are beautiful and not overcomplicated by gadgets and tech, also allows for some gratuitously beautiful shots that play with shadow.

- batman's age, I don't think Bruce is ever given an age in the show but he seems to be mid 20s early 30s and still an urban legend as the batman, we don't have to waste time with an origin episode/season but we still get to experience a Gotham who doesn't fully trust their vigilante.

- VILLIANS, for me the stand out was harley quinn, divorcing her from the joker allows her character to fully shine, she stays somewhere in the grey but still firmly an antagonist. It's one of the gripes I have with new harley that once she leaves the joker she always becomes more of an anti-hero/hero, keep my girl villainous. Also her psychological background is in full swing, I've always believed Harley is most dangerous when she's in your head and the show leans fully into it. Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss indeed.

- villians pt.2, keeping the theme of the animated series we have our villians for villainy antagonists like penguin and thorn who seem to live on in their counterparts, onomatopoeia and firebug, but we also get nuanced character arcs for 2-face, Natalia and clayface, echoing baby doll and calender woman.

- supporting cast, I'm only familiar with the comics in passing but if attorney Barbra is a new invention then whoever thought of it needs a raise. Also aging her up to be in her early 20s is an incredible change from the animated series where she floated around the freshly 18 mark. It makes her a hero in her own right even if she isn't batgirl (yet), and let's us see Gothams worst and how she's already fighting for change.

- Supporting cast pt.2, Montoya! My beloved, I'm not sure where her romance with harley is going but I can't wait, it's great to see such an archetypal noir cop, even more so than Jim, who speaking of I love as well, his want to protect the city but also butting heads with barbie on methods is perfect characterization in my option.

-baby bruce, horrifying, I love him. Alfred has personal beef with harley now, the second he saw an opportunity to throw that man in therapy she gives him valid paranoia of the entire profession just as he was thinking about trying it properly, I know it's on sight for him going forward.

- art, I've binged the animated series many times at this point and it's a running gag in the fandom that some frames are ... unique. Obviously the animators were working with what they had, but the step up in fight choreography and flow is spectacular, the whole show is a love letter to old batman with a new varnish of the animation productions of today.

Overall an amazing show that had me laugh and gasp in equal amounts, it took itself seriously in a way most superhero media won't do anymore, I distinctly thought in ep.9 when batman swings away from Montoya and Jim "wow they didn't put in a stupid snark about him being dramatic or having a nice ass ect" and it's like a breath of fresh air.

As far as nitpicks go I wished we had more of Bruce in isolation, or having real conversations, but I realize the focus of this season was his loneliness and how the final episode states he's opening up more to the 3 main supporting characters. I'm also worried for how important the joker might become but that's basically instinct at this point (please kill him off, i want to see the reactions).

Going forward I can't wait to see if we get any follow up on the Easter egg characters, killer croc, the 4 Robin's, king tut. I'd love to see the batman as a dad he's got a lot of kindness modern adaptations don't include, but still that overwhelmingly lonely nature. I'm hoping harley and the joker never cross paths in this universe but I won't hold my breath and I'd like to see if we will get a batgirl/oracle storyline as well.

Anyways looking forward to the confirmed second season, and if you read this without watching the show, start now.

[telomeke-bbs]

BAD BUDDY – THE LGBTQ+ ALLEGORY IN PAT AND PRAN'S STORYLINES

(above) The Bad Buddy Series poster

I'm writing up some preliminary thoughts on LGBTQ+ themes and directions that Director Aof appears to be pursuing in Last Twilight, and I'm reminded of how he's tackled similar preoccupations in previous works.

Looking at Bad Buddy in particular, in retrospect it's clear now how Pat and Pran's storylines were very definitely allegories for aspects of the queer experience – two sides of the same coin.

The allegorical subtext in BBS was overshadowed by how powerfully PatPran's story was brought to life by the writing and the acting (I'm still in awe of Ohm and Nanon's portrayals), and a whole lot of us got so emotionally swept up in how authentically heartfelt the final product was rendered on the screen, it was easy to overlook that there could be more than meets the eye.

But with Khun Noppharnach in the director's chair, you can always expect some form of LGBTQ+ activism to be woven into the fabric of the storytelling.

I've written about this in bits and pieces before (see this post on BBS's overall allegorical message here), but have never placed Pat and Pran's individual storylines side by side to shine a light on their paired allegories together, so this short write-up is more to consolidate my own thoughts on the matter than anything else.

Now Pat's storyline was about trying to be someone you are not, based on outside expectations of you. Naturally-loving and affable Pat was continually stressed to the max when he was expected to outcompete and hate his best friend while personifying the toxically-masculine, competitive hyper-ruffian that Ming was pushing him to be.

This is an allegory for the futile struggle queer people put themselves through when they try to conform to a heteronormative world's standards and norms with regard to behavior, sexuality and attraction. LGBTQ+ people know this only too well; how exhausting is it to be told all the time – to be expected to live the dictated belief – that the way you naturally live and/or love is wrong, and that the love in your heart deserves to be replaced with hate instead?

And Pat only found peace when he rejected that false persona imposed on him by his dad, and followed the authentic soundings of the love within himself. 💖

Pran's storyline (and this is what gelled for me only recently, when looking at Last Twilight) was really an allegory for life in the LGBTQ+ closet, with him living behind a carefully-constructed identity (see this analysis linked here) while keeping his authentic self a secret behind defensive walls and never showing anyone who he truly was.

He probably learnt to do this from Dissaya's obsession with saving face and protecting one's reputation that she mentions in Ep.10 – living within a constructed shell that makes you acceptable, even desirable, to a world that may be at odds with your true self inside, that you have to keep hidden from view for whatever reason.

It was Dissaya who taught Pran how to build and live in that closet, but it was only when he broke free from this prison of his own making (beginning first with the Ep.10 khan maak, then hashing things out with Dissaya, as painful as that process was), was he able to flourish as his best self (which is what his guitar and musical storyline were also about; see this analysis linked here).

And this is a lesson that queer people have been learning over and over again, that burying your authentic self beneath layers and layers of dissimulation means a pretty lonely existence for your true identity, denying yourself the freedoms that others take for granted.

When read together with Bad Buddy's over-arching LGBTQ+ allegory (mentioned above, also linked here), the messaging points at a single truism – that LGBTQ+ people shouldn't have to have their love and lives defined by anyone other than themselves, and that when this self-determination is allowed, sensible and peaceable co-existence is still possible even if not everyone in the wider community is wholeheartedly approving (which is what PatPran's family lives in Ep.12 – and especially Ming and Dissaya's grudging tolerance of their boys' relationship – were also demonstrating in allegorical form).

At this time (in late 2023) Thailand is proceeding cautiously toward improving its position on LGBTQ+ rights (see this post on marriage equality linked here). Meanwhile, far right camps in other parts of the world are also doing their utmost to shrink shared spaces (see these articles linked here and here). 👀

Two years after it first appeared on our screens, the message encapsulated in Bad Buddy's allegories is perhaps as pertinent and important as ever. 😔💖

[goth-pod]

Goth-Pod Ep 7:  Metropolis vs Gotham

Welcome back to goth pod! Will Juda Boone see a city rivalry put to rest? Seems unlikely in a 4 minute episode! But join us anyway for the question: Metropolis or Gotham?

[goth-pod is a fictional, in-universe podcast based on the DC comics universe. Juda Boone is an original fictional character, not based on any real person or known comic book character.]

Transcript under the cut

Hello everyone and welcome back to Goth-Pod! Your Gotham based podcast. I am, of course, your favorite unconquered tri-state area and host, Juda Boone

I can't believe I'm about to say this, but this episode is sponsored by Wayne Enterprise. Wayne Enterprise is a multi-faceted company based out of Gotham. The rebranding of their tech line is scheduled for the first of the new month, so keep an eye out for that. They sent over an entire box of Wayne Tech recording equipment and I am more than stoked to try it out. 

Whoever got our last joke episode on the desk of Bruce Wayne or Bruce Wayne's Team, I am simultaneously mortified and honored. 

Now, onto today's episode. 

Metropolis is Gotham’s sister city. Some say they can see the glittering skyscrapers from across the bay on a clear day- but I have never known a clear day in Gotham in my life, so I don't know where they got that. 

But, if she’s our sister city, why the ever-so-loud rivalry? 

Before we continue, I am noting that I will not be touching on the Superman / Batman debate. That would be a whole different episode. 

We posted a poll on our socials with the simple question: Metropolis or Gotham? This poll resulted in 139 votes. 21% voted Metropolis. 79% voted Gotham

But I think that's to be expected from our audience. We're Gotham based. Before I'm a host, I'm a Gothamite. I've had 23 years to develop my bias for my home city, something I think our listeners can relate to. 

And it comes down to that key word: Home. The pride and possessiveness that comes with a sense of belonging. I'm sure the results would've been different if we were Metropolis-based.

Really, I get it! I’ve heard just about every verbose rant about “How could anyone live in a city like Gotham?” And there are points I agree with! I understand the deep, deep flaws that my city is trying to find solutions for. 

Just like I’m sure Metropolis is dealing with Lexcorp running more than half the city with Lex Luthor’s selfish, greedy charm. While you’re handling your gentrification, we’re celebrating the preservation of our historic district.

Or how Gotham U beat the Metropolis Bulldogs this past sports season! Maybe it’s all the sunshine getting in the players eyes? Good luck next year, everyone.

“Oh but I would be afraid to walk home at night!” Well that's the difference between us! You’re afraid to walk at night. We know how to punch a clown in the face by the time we’re 10! 

[Clears throat] 

What I meant to say was. Um...

People can feel.. Protective. When something feels like a kindred spirit. Gotham City is a place few people understand. But we, its citizens, it’s children are what makes it. We too stand tall and strange alongside our buildings. We too have our shadows and our secrets that we dare not share with the rest of the world. 

Metropolis is a beautiful city. And so is Gotham. To me, Metropolis is beautiful like a sister. Shining with potential, smiling while leaving you behind. Gotham is beautiful like a mother. Old and scolding. Giving a type of tough love that takes time to understand. 

I love my city. I hope my words, in this episode and others, can help others love it the same way. 

Thank you for joining me. I’m Juda, you’re listening to Goth-Pod. Until next time, stay safe, Gotham.

[three--rings]

So it turns out there were a lot of things from S2 I was waiting to pass judgement on until I saw how they played out and...I ended up not thrilled about. And it's all these little things that keep bothering me.

Things I'm not happy with in OFMD S2:

-Jim and Olu feel retconned into not being in love. Like I know we want to talk about happy polycule but it feels like they aren't even very close this season? They were even more of a secondary ship than Lucius and Pete in S1 but we got essentially no good Jim/Olu stuff in S2. Instead we got the Olu/Zheng Yi Sao romance which on paper sounds good, but lacked chemistry. Especially from Olu's side. I feel like they kept repeating that "break in your day" thing cause they didn't have anything else. IDK weird weird decisions were made. I don't mind the Jim/Archie stuff at all but that was also not given any real romance time. They kissed and then I guess that was that?

-While on the subject of Zhang Yi Sao...why was she there? Like, don't get me wrong, I love her character and her inclusion in the show, but while the build-up in the first few episodes was great, then...they did basically nothing with her. Her entire plan was foiled by a moron in a split second and then..IDK she's now just riding on the Revenge and not even in charge? She's come way down in the world and I don't like it.

-Izzy dying. I don't mind the death scene itself, (though i wanted Izzy's friends on the crew more involved) but I think having him die shifts the genre and is disappointing in a way that feels unlike this show. more to be said obviously but not in this post.

-Speaking of that scene I grow more and more annoyed with Izzy saying "they love you, Ed." Not because it's not a great sentiment that would be narratively meaningful, but because it's NOT DEMONSTRABLY TRUE. Who loves Ed on that crew? Maybe Fang? There was absolutely no moments between Ed and crew after ep 3. They tolerate him for Stede's sake is all I can say. They love Stede. They love Izzy. And then Ed just leaves them and they are probably relieved.

-the way the central problem the whole season with Ed and Stede was communication but they never actually do anything about that, just declare victory.

-the way there was no climax or resolution with any antagonist in the last episode, they just barely escape, swear revenge like they're gonna head into battle, and then retire. Which makes ZERO sense and it bothers me SO MUCH.

-The lack of Stede and Ed costuming. IDK if it's because I've been writing a fic for a year centered around the clothing but like the show feels incomplete if they're not getting to dress up. I was looking forward to Ed wearing more than his leathers and we got a rice sack. This is entirely a personal gripe and not important but, yeah.

-Zero focus on the crew and no new info about any of them. I was really, really looking forward to getting more backstory, more personal info on characters like Roach, Frenchie, Wee John, but no.

And yanno, the thing is that I'm not unhappy with what S2 GAVE us. I like most of it. I love eps 1-6. Though 6 is showing the pacing issues badly. But what I miss is what we DIDN'T get. None of the stuff on screen was bad per se or couldn't have fit into a very excellent, cohesive season of TV. But I feel like all the connective tissue, all the thematic resolution, all the stuff that would have made it shine was missing.

Like they had a bunch of notecards of great scenes and filmed them but forgot to write the parts to connect them in a meaningful way? IDK this season feels a little like a first draft?

Not eps 1-3 though. I feel like they were perfect, and then they ran out of time/energy to polish the rest. (4-5 were also great, but they could have fit in with the rest better ultimately.)

I feel like people who are happy with this season are like 'we got this moment and this scene!' and that's great and cool and I also love that moment but I'm still left unsatisfied by the whole, yanno. Sigh.