#she IS however either bi or pan

[accirax]

Did you know? The letters in LGBT actually stand for Leden G Bwhit Tnico

[sins-of-the-sea]

Takes one look at Nemona. And Eri. And Tulip. And Iono. And Katy. And-

"Oh ho ho ho, my oh my!! Seems like our daughter has found some closet keys!~"

"Look out, little Sing-Lung, you've got competition in some of the cutest girls in Paldea."

[clownery-and-fuckery]

It's pride month so.... have my gay Bad Batch thoughts I suppose (based on vibes and vibes alone.)

Hunter:

Popular opinion that I agree with? Dude is FTM trans, and has the worst time with it bcus all his T-Shots were externally bought so the Empire cut his ass OFF. also. hes a little gay. A mini bisexual, if you would. prefers women by a long shot. (He/him all the way- he wont correct, but Wrecker will.)

Crosshair:

gay. gay. dude is a MAN kisser. hes scared of women. never seen a boob in his life and he intends to stay that way. he's The Homo of the group. yes, they do make fun of him for being a boy kisser. yes, they also make fun of him for pulling NO BITCHES EVER. (He/him too and he CARES. he will correct you meanly.)

Wrecker:

pansexual icon who will love anyone. He's also pulled more than Hunter, so, take THAT. He's a hopeless romantic who falls in love with at least ONE natborn per mission. He confesses this each and every time and has maybe kissed two people. He's always encouraged. (He/him mostly but he won't mind he/they, he'll just gently correct sometimes)

Tech:

oh. He's a true bisexual. A real man and woman kisser. Perchance at once if he's drunk enough. Phee and him look at hot people and go "Oh, wow, woa". He's the bi-wife. However, his acknowledgement of attraction only works for him. He'll acknowledge you're attractive, but good look with convincing him YOU find him attractive. As far as he knows, no one looks twice at him. (Also, his gender isn't real. Sometimes he's a man, sometimes she's a woman. Sometimes they're neither. It's easier to just say that Tech is Tech. Because how come Tech gets boobs AND a dick? Unfair. They/he/her)

Echo:

originally it was assumed that he was the token straight. Until they discovered actually there's no romantic attraction there at all so, Echo's our resident aro. He's dabbled in 18+ acts of course, but the attraction never went beyond that, so he vibes. He's down for platonic and brotherly affections, but don't you dare make a romantic gesture, gross. (He/him but... he did enjoy when people thought he a she when he was undercover once, so she?)

Bonus!!!!

Rex:

We found our token straight, lads. He's never seen a boob either, though. He'll get there, eventually. Very dense, very silly. He's too tired and busy for such things. (He/him only because he doesn't know of any other option)

Cody:

Now. I know what you're gonna think. Gay. But might I throw out a suggestion? Dude is just a mean bisexual. Heavy preference for men, but he CAN pick up a woman or two. (He/him, regs are borning/j)

Wolffe:

This guy. This guy gets uncomfortable when anyone who isn't his brothers holds his hand. THIS MAN is the true aroace of the GAR. he watches his brothers and he shudders. (though he Wonders. sometimes) he'll huff and puff his way through a romcom for the Wolfpack on movie night, I guess. (He/they only because he likes being an extension of the Wolfpack)

Gregor:

Pan-romantic asexual. Dude is down to date anyone, but the armour Stays On. He finds himself much more fulfilled with simple park dates and cooking at 2am, you know?? (ALSO they/he as per his identity crisis. He's a CLONE??? HUH???? wild)

Bly:

Another "token straight" but he'll never escape the bisexual allegations 😔 (because its true and him and his wife have so had a third party member before) but he's also rather curious. So. Bi-curious. (He/him)

Fox:

Oh lord. This man. Gay. He's gay but no one knows because he passes well. Also, ace. He's done his fair share of people, he doesn't understand the appeal. Down to make out messy in a closet though, he understands THAT. but nothing more. (He/him called "it" by the Senate and he doesn't care. But his brothers do.)

That's all you get. Happy gay month. If I missed someone you can ask and I'll give you their Vibes. ✨️

[callmelola111]

K.O. ♡ e.w. oneshot

 ✄ - - - -   inspo track   - - - -   bull believer- wednesday

synopsis: as hours, minutes, and seconds count down till the new year, secrets are revealed and trust is broken. who knew the downfall of your life could be so freeing—and that a total stranger would be the one to catch you.

      | 𓆣 | pairing & wc: ellie williams x reader. wc: 4.8k

      | ❀ | cw: 18+ themes (MDNI), modern au, reader is in a toxic relationship with a man (sexuality isn’t mentioned in huge detail so feel free to hc however you like—they could be bi, pan or just a lesbian with very real comp het), coming out scene (refers to self as “gay”), heavy swearing, descriptions of intense violence + gore, cheating (bf on reader), underage drinking + use of marjuana (18), reader is called a slur (dyke)

a/n: hi hellooo, long time no see! **first, a quick disclaimer: this isn't realistic, there is a complete lack of morals and an unethical/dangerous amount of violence that i wouldn't condone irl. but alas this is fan fiction based off a M rated game whose whole basis is violence, sooo plz keep that in mind when reading.** anywaysss... i’ve been obsessed with this song for months now and it sparked a little oneshot idea so here it is. not exactly my usual stuff, more of a passion project as i process my hatred for men as a lesbian who used to date them. soooo i guess this one goes out to my small town comp het girlies who love ellie williams. thanks for all the support!! ♡~ lola

In the south it never really felt like a true winter. All the holidays that came along with it never felt real either. Christmas was dull and New Years was even worse. After spending the last 18 years of your life in a small hick town, it felt like no use to wish for some “better future”. You were damned from the start. Sure it was a new year, but it was the same old shit and you knew nothing was gonna change until you got out of this hell hole.

Just 6 more months of pretending, you’d tell yourself. 6 more months of bending over backwards to please your overbearing parents. 6 more months of mediocre sex with your shitty boyfriend that you weren’t even sure you liked. 6 more months of artificial conversations with your estranged friend group from middle school who claim to “not get you” anymore. But at this point, as every little thing ate away at you, you weren’t sure if you could keep up your act for much longer. Especially tonight, where you’d be faced with the challenge of appeasing all 3. 

December 31st, 9:00pm:

Adorned in a matching set of mint green pjs you sat patiently on your bed waiting for the go-ahead. Like clockwork, your parents gave a small knock and pushed open your door from its cracked position. It always annoyed you how they knocked, pretending to respect your privacy while simultaneously enforcing a “no closed doors” rule. You thought at 18 they would’ve let it go, but no. 

“Well hun, me and your mother are heading out now. We don’t expect to be back till the morning… Ya know, just to be safe while taking part in all the ‘festivities’.” Your dad chuckled, throwing up some air quotes. Your mom stood deadpan waiting for him to wrap up his little bit before butting in.

“No plans for the evening, right?” She phrased her words like a question but you knew this was just her way of subtleing enforcing the stupid rules you’ve followed your whole life.

“Of course not momma. Probably just gonna watch Gilmore Girls reruns and then go to sleep before any fireworks start up.” You gestured to your pjs but your perfectly made bed said otherwise. See, you knew this little routine like the back of your hand. You knew just what to do and just what to say in order to lure your parents into a false sense of security. While they stood in the frame of your door wishing you a goodnight, your party clothes hung on the other side of it, just out of their view.

December 31st, 9:30pm:

A loud honking blared from just outside your bedroom window. You ushered the sheer curtains open and glared out at the little sedan sputtering in your driveway. Your hands ran down your face followed by a big sigh. It’s not like you didn’t know your boyfriend Jax was coming to pick you up for the new years party that night, you had planned it just days before. But unbeknownst to him, the only reason you reached out was because you didn’t have a ride and tonight was one of the few times your parents wouldn’t be around to police curfew. 

You climbed into the passenger seat already cringing at the unidentifiable smell and litters of trash covering the floor. Forcing a smile to your face you greet the grimey boy sitting at the wheel with a wave.

“Come onnnn, not even a kiss? You must be real happy to see me, huh?” You grit your teeth, squeeze both eye’s shut, and lean in for a peck to appease his complaints. 

“Of course I’m happy to see you babe.” This was a lie. Something you had become quite good at these past few years, even lying to yourself at times. The rest of the car ride was silent, leaving you to ponder this drudgery of a relationship. You weren’t quite sure when things shifted or if there was ever an attraction at all, but after a year together and college approaching you just decided to ride it out until the inevitable. And part of you recognized the same in him, so there was never any guilt about it. 

December 31st, 9:45pm:

Alcohol was the first thing on your mind as soon as the car went into park. The door to the house was propped wide open, inviting in teens of the small town. Some top 10 hit boomed from a speaker nested in the main living area, not really your style—at least not sober. You scavenged the kitchen for a clean solo cup to designate as your own and began the journey to drunkenness. Jax followed in suit with a couple bottles of beer. The harsh burn in your throat lingered but the alcohol's effect was already beginning to take off the edge that was your life.

You attempted to initiate some conversation with the man who had brought you here but he was too busy texting to listen. So consumed with the glow of his screen, you couldn’t help but peek to see what was so interesting. As soon as you got a glimpse you wished you had been less nosey. His attention was not being stolen by a dumb Instagram reels, but actually, a long string of texts with a girl whose name you didn’t recognize. Your stomach pinged at his possible infidelity. Partly because he was your boyfriend but mostly because you’d spent months convincing yourself to like him, to stay with him, to be a good girlfriend—and he could care less. All this work and effort on your part was simply discarded with his unloyal behavior. It was all for nothing. But hey, maybe you were just drawing conclusions. It could just be a friend. Right?

December 31st, 10:15pm:

Jax had finally shifted his attention back to you before his screen lit up again causing you to retaliate in irritation. You swiped up the cracked device before he had the chance and began to scroll.

“Can’t you just silence it? What is soooo fucking importan-.” Your voice caught at the sight of flirty messages littering the screen.

“Are-are you fucking cheating on me?” You instantly questioned.

“Bro no! Give me my fucking phone back!”

“Who the fuck are you texting then? ‘Mary Jane’,” you spouted in a mocking tone, “no way is that someone's real name. You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

“It’s a joke between me and my cousin. Now would you chill?”

“Your cousin?? You call your cousin baby?? I mean, I knew this town was full of hicks but I didn’t know y’all were those kinds of hicks.” The alcohol was giving you a little too much courage as your taunting waded into dangerous territory.

“The fuck did you just say? Don’t fucking test me! Can’t even handle a couple shots without getting all crazy on me!!”

“Crazy?? I’m being fucking reasonable. Literally any other person would be bothered by this just as much as me.”

“You know what, just fuck off. We can talk when you stop being such a delusional bitch.” He then disappeared into the living room, landing onto the couch, leaving you alone with your anger. 

December 31st, 10:30pm:

You stood idle, bubbling over with emotion, eye’s filling with tears when a wet sensation hit your upper lip. Its flow grew stronger and began to trickle onto your hands where your gaze was locked. Deep red stained your palms- a random nosebleed. It was like a sign from the universe. A sign that you weren’t crazy. In fact, you might be one of the only sane people in this whole damn town. Stuck in your reverie, blood continued to drip on your hands, your shirt, your lips- everywhere. That is until a kind eyed girl slipped you a dish towel to stop the flow. 

“Uh hey, your nose is bleeding.” You snapped your head up finally acknowledging the moment in full.

“Shit thanks, sorry…” Your face went hot realizing how long you had been just standing still, letting the blood fall where it may. The heat doubled, spreading to your ears when you finally acknowledged the person who had witnessed the whole thing. Ellie Williams. You had never formally met but knew of her existence, as she had kind of a reputation around school. There wasn’t anything inherently bad about her (at least in your opinion), she just didn’t fit the mold of most residents in your town. Therefore, she was a target for people's prejudices, especially being the only out lesbian in your senior class. Despite everyone else’s thoughts, you really admired her. You wished you had that type of courage.

“It’s no problem…” the auburn haired girl glanced down deciding what to say next before lifting her gaze back up to you. “Not to be nosey, I know you don’t really know me, but like… are you okay?”

Head tilted back, you gave a nasally reply, “Oh me? Yeah, yeah uh- I’m okay” 

“No offense but uh, you don’t look that okay.” she gestured to your bloody everything.

“Alright so I’m not okay, you got me.” You looked down to your now crimson stained blouse and scrubbed frantically at the chiffon material trying to reprimand the damage.

“Here, here– You can just take my flannel to cover it up, I promise I don’t mind.”

“Are you sure?” Before you could say anything else, Ellie was sliding the warm garment over your shoulders and guiding you into the arm holes. It was dark blue, in a faded plaid pattern, and smelled of pine and incense. The girl was now left barren in just her white tank– and all for you.

“Yeah of course.” She then took it a step further, buttoning you up. You watched as her dexterous fingers worked up from the bottom of the shirt to the top, brushing you at each maneuver. A little jab into the plush right under your naval, a swipe past your ribs, and a tap at your collarbones. The quick, unexpected interaction left you completely flustered and you weren’t quite sure why.

“Thank you.” was all you could say. 

“Sooo… do you wanna talk about it?” At this point, Ellie was completely enamored with you from the way you handled yourself with Jax. She had this unusual feeling, a feeling like she needed to protect you. A feeling that you were different from most. Maybe you were even a little like her?

“Honestly, yeah. My friend Samara was supposed to be here tonight but I guess she decided not to show, and I’m starting to wish I didn’t either.”

“Well, if it’s worth anything, I’m glad you’re here. Come on now, follow me.” Ellie led the way to a set of stairs at the edge of the living room. You snaked right past the couch where Jax was drunkenly passed out, mumbling obscenities at his phone. Of course, he paid no mind to you. The idiot was too consumed with himself to even wonder if you were okay.

December 31st, 11:00pm:

You and the sweet girl sat on the rough carpeted step talking about everything under the sun. Ellie was the first person in a really long time who you felt you could be honest with.

“So you think he’s cheating on you?” she questions trying to clarify the few bits of dialogue she heard while watching from afar.

“I know he is. I’m not stupid.”

“I’m sure you’re not.” Ellie put her head down staring at the laces of her dirty converse. You felt so unreadable, making her unsure of how to proceed in the conversation. “So00, how do you feel about it all then?”

“I don’t know, I guess angry.” you answered with a remarkably solemn tone. 

“What about… sad?”

Like second nature, you instantly thought of a less than honest answer until Ellie’s attentive green eyes brought you back to Earth. 

“It feels like… I’m supposed to be sad, but I can’t. In a twisted, confusing way, I’m honestly kinda relieved. So fucking pissed, but relieved.” Ellie’s lids widened, this was an answer she wasn’t expecting at all–but one she was glad to hear.  

“I can’t blame you, he does kinda seem like a piece of shit.”

“And his dick is small too.” you quipped, making Ellie chuckle under her breath.

“Maybe I’m reading into things, but… it seems like you never really liked this guy in the first place.” 

You took a guilty pause before confirming, “Maybe…”

“So why haven’t you broken up with him?” Ellie was genuinely curious. She thought if it was her in the situation she definitely would’ve gotten rid of that Jax guy long, long ago. Who would wanna keep around a douche bag like that?

“Being with Jax felt convenient. He felt like my ticket to ‘normalcy’.” You put your head down in slight shame but continued the explanation. “I got so caught up in my image that I neglected how I actually felt. I was doing everything to please everyone but me.”  Ellie scooted in one inch to the left, now connecting your thighs and bringing in a sense of comfort.

“Trust me, I understand. This town is fucking ruthless.”

“God yeah, the things I’ve heard people say about you are seriously fucked up. I don’t know how you do it.” A beat of silence lingered as Ellie articulated her thoughts.

“I think… community. I mean, obviously most of the people at our school look down on me, but all it takes is one singular person to be right there with you and then things don’t feel so bad. I guess for me, I can’t imagine being anything but myself. Like completely myself.” The girl looked up from the hangnail she was picking at as she spoke and was met with your tear filled eyes. “Fuck, did I say something?”

Your hand shot up to quickly wipe away the floodgates threatening to fall, “No, no. It’s just that you’re right,” you stuttered, choking down another cry, “an-and, I wish I would've realized it sooner because these past 4 years have been like hell. I don’t wanna be the cookie cutter straight girl anymore. I just wanna be me.”

Ellie then placed a gentle hand to your knee and brought her eyes to meet your own, “And what might that be?”

“Gay. Like really fucking gay.” you said through teary-eyed laughs as Ellie joined in with her own hearty chuckle.

“Welcome to the club.” she said, sticking out a strong hand for you to shake. You grasped it tightly as her warm palm guided you up and down, her touch lingering just a little longer than the gesture itself. As you collected yourself you whipped out a small pocket mirror to touch up the smudged mascara littering your undereyes. Ellie admired in silence. She was in pure awe of your resilience, and when you were finished with your clean up, you turned back to realize what had just gone down.

“Fuck, I’m sorry for dumping all that on you considering we just met. It’s weird how things I’ve never even said out loud before can come out so easily around a stranger.”

Ellie nudges you with her shoulder, “I guess I just have that effect, huh?”

“I guess you do.” you sighed, nudging her back.

December 31st, 11:15pm:

The two of you continued your banter until a cold breeze from the back door gave Ellie a brilliant idea.

“Dare I say… you look like you need a blunt?” she said with a mischievous smirk.

“No, please. It's exactly what I need.”

Ellie then reached into the pocket of her baggy jeans, “I guess it’s your lucky day then.” she said, revealing the most perfectly wrapped blunt you’d ever seen.

“You’re actually god sent Ellie. How are we just now meeting?” The auburn-haired girl gave a small laugh before grabbing your hand and leading you to the backyard. As she pushed the white panel door open, every single ounce of weight that had been lifted off from that one singular conversation, all came crashing back down. Ellie and you weren’t the only ones who adventured outside into the brisk night air. Right on the porch stood Jax, accompanied by your “friend” Samara, who up until this point you didn’t even think was coming. The piece of shit was practically sucking her face off before the creaking sound of the back door sent them 5 feet apart.

“I knew it! I fucking knew it!” you yelled, eyes growing dark with rage. Ellie just stood and watched from the corner.

“Babe, please! I swear it’s not what you think!” Jax stumbled forward, attempting to grasp at your figure.

“Don’t you dare try and touch me! You don’t even deserve to look at me. It’s over Jax. I’m done being suffocated by your never ending bullshit!” Knuckles clenched, you continued your lashings, this time at Samara. “I-I thought we were friends. What happened to that?”

“You don’t even like him. You should be thanking me.” she spat. 

“You really don’t get it, huh? This has nothing to do with me liking Jax or not, you completely betrayed our friendship the second you started fucking him behind my back. Friends don’t fuck each other boyfriends Samara!” Before she could even respond Jax was dragging her away, flipping you off on the way inside.

“Ellie-” you squeaked, trembling in shock. 

“Come here, it’s okay love.” she whispered, parting her arms to make a safe space just for you. You collapsed into the warm cavity and relinquished the buckets of tears you had been saving for the moment someone actually gave a fuck. And Ellie did. She never let go of you even for a second as you crumbled under her.

“Jeez I’m sorry.” you said after minutes of pure silence, lifting your head to meet Ellie’s green eyes. 

“For what?”

“For being a drunk mess, crying to you about a man, and also, I think I got a little snot on your shirt.” you tried to laugh it off but you really just wanted to disappear.

Taking your face in her palms Ellie reassured you, “hey, hey no need to be sorry pretty girl. You’ve been through a lot tonight. Besides, I think I look kinda good with this huge ass wet spot in the middle of my tank top. What do you think?” You stepped back and took a look at the damage, and honestly, she was kinda right. With the white cotton material you could see right through to her toned stomach, barely missing the bottom of her breasts. 

“Fine, yes. I’m sure there’s plenty of girls who’d kill to see you in a wet shirt Ellie.”

“Lucky you then.” she said, playfully nudging your shoulder.

You couldn’t help it as the corners of your mouth turned upwards, “Yeah, I guess so.”

“There’s that smile. Soooo… blunt now?”

“Yes. Blunt.”

December 31st, 11:30pm:

And just like that, you were halfway through the chestnut wand of herbs and deep in conversation.  

“So you really haven't seen But I’m a Cheerleader?” Ellie asked, blowing out a puff of smoke with the question and passing it on.

You took the blunt from between her fingers and let it rest between your own, “No. Should I have?” 

“Definitely dude, it’s like queer classic.”

“Oh yeah?” You cocked your head at the freckled faced girl. 

“Yeah. And now that I’m thinking about it, you’re honestly just like the main character.”

“How so?” you asked, taking another long draw. 

“She’s in denial about being gay for like the first 30 minutes of the movie.”

A string of coughs unleashed from your chest as you let out a hefty laugh mid-inhale, “Bitch-”

“What? I’m being so deadass!”

“Fine, what character are you then?” you pry, passing the lit blunt back over to Ellie.

Taking a hit she replies, “I guess I’d be graham.”

“And what does she do?”

“I’m kinda like your awakening in a sense. Graham is all gay and cool, and of course Megan—that's you—totally falls for her.” 

You retrieve the lit cannabis and roll your eyes, “I haven’t fallen for you yet Williams.”

“Yet.” she emphasizes, placing a soft finger to the tip of your nose tauntingly.

“Ha. Ha.” you monotonously mock, “Now here, I think it’s done.” You hand Ellie the roach and she promptly stubs it out into the concrete slab deck.

“Come on, let’s go inside. I’m fucking cold.” she pleas.

“Dude I’m scared. Like I am way too fucked up for this.”

“No, no– I promise you’re fine. I’ll protect you.” 

“Fineee.” you drag out.

December 31st, 11:50pm:

Things were seemingly fine as you and Ellie entered the muggy living area of the packed house once more. Your hesitancy was quite clear though and Ellie could sense you needed just a little reassurance. Your right hand, currently picking away at the hangnail on the thumb of your left, was quickly captured by Ellies own rough hand which led you back to your comfortable spot on the ascending stair set.

As you both took a seat your grip remained tight on the girl, afraid that if you let go you might jump up from your spot right then and there just to give Jax one more lesson. Just the sight of him through the slats of the stairs’ wooden railing—legs casually spread wide and eyes focused in on a casual game of Mortal Kombat—drove you fucking crazy. 

“Dude if you keep staring like that you might actually burn a hole through his dumb ass T-shirt.” Ellie said, nudging your tensed shoulder.

“Good it’s ugly anyways.”

“Fair point.”

“I just have this burning need to get back at him. I wanna beat his ass just like in that game he can’t take his eyes off.”

Ellie rolled her eyes, “Very funny, but you wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

“Oh yeah?” you questioned before laying a soft punch to the girl's forearm. A string of dramatic “Ows” reverberated from her lips. “See, I’m a badass right?”

“Fine you’re a total badass” she agreed begrudgingly, rubbing the soft tissue of her arm where you had left your mark. 

“What? It hurt that bad? You need me to kiss it better?” you taunted. 

“Maybe I do.” she said, longing eyes staring into your own. 

You gulped down any hesitation and felt it drop straight to your nervous stomach, “Where does it hurt?”

Ellie pointed to her arm slowly, “here.”

You placed a soft peck.

Hot breath raising goosebumps to the surface of her skin, “and here”, she gestured to her outstretched neck

Another supple kiss.

“And um-” she continued, but was quickly cut off and brought back to reality with the bellowing sound of a countdown. Too caught up in the moment, you both had almost forgotten about the holiday currently taking place.

FIVE… FOUR… THREE… TWO…

“Can I kiss you?” she blurted frantically, and with no words you dove into her plump, chapped lips. Just like a puzzle piece your bottom lip slotted perfectly between her own. It was a gentle and delicate kiss at first, drinking in the euphoric moment. Quickly though, soft maneuvers of the mouth got quicker and harder. Spit was exchanged with passion and need, as your hands were becoming grabby at the girl's toned figure. The heat growing between your legs was an easy distraction from the fact that you were at a large party, in a hick town, with your ex-boyfriend now hovering over your more than friendly exchange.

January 1st, 12:01am:

“The fuck? You’re a dyke now?” he yells, practically loud enough for the whole party to hear. You and Ellie frantically pull apart, bumping heads in the process.

The calloused hands that were once caressing the small of your back are now balled into tight fists as Ellie rises from her seated position.

“The fuck did you just say?” she questions, tilting her head to the right.

You now stand up with her, worried where this might go, “Jax you need to walk away.”

“Oh shut up slut. You’re so fucking desperate you’d do it with anyone!” 

That one hurt. That was the tipping point. Tears welled in your eyes. 

“I’M NOT A FUCKING SLUT! I’M GAY AND NEVER LIKED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!”

“You need to leave now before I do something I’ll regret, you dirty bitch.” he threatens. And that's it, Ellie takes a swing aiming straight for his nose. Her fist retracts and reveals his bloody and now crooked cartilage. Through clenched teeth Jax grips onto Ellies white tank, throwing her into the open space of the living room. Just like a car crash, it’s one of those things where a scene can be so disturbing but you just can’t look away. And everyone else in the room was feeling it too—backed into corners, hands over mouths, some men even obnoxiously chanting “fight, fight.” But this isn’t what you wanted. Not at all.

“STOP! YOU NEED TO FUCKING STOP IT!” you screamed desperately. You didn’t even want to imagine what Jax would do to the freckled girl who changed your life in mere hours. But you didn’t have to, because here they were, brawling it out for the whole school. Jax swung at Ellie’s head to which she ducked before jabbing him in the stomach, stealing whatever air was swimming in his lungs. He stumbled backwards 3 steps, coughing through the hit, but this just made him angrier.

He charged back at the flustered girl with more force and gained a grip on a wad of choppy auburn hair. With a forceful yank she came tumbling to the ground with him on top. Ellie wriggled, pushed, and kicked but the sheer weight of the furious man was enough to keep her pinned. Jax began punching left and right, capturing her face with each blow. Thick crimson decorated his knuckles and the entirety of the girl's face. You could barely make out her litter of freckles and the half-lidded slits of emerald green—it was blood, all blood.

But as Jax kept on going, and the room grew quieter, this fight turned into something much more serious. It was inching on life or death and you had to do something. You surveyed the room, eyes dancing from counter to counter until a large glass beer bottle nagged at the tips of your fingers. Grabbing it tightly in your fist, you did what you had to to end this. Glass and gasps scattered through the room. The sharp brown shards littered the floor and evoked a gushing red stream from the back of Jax’s head. He instantly rolled to the side leaving Ellie an opening to escape. You weren’t done yet though, he hadn’t gotten what he deserved yet. Falling to the floor right at his body, hot tears streamed down your face.

Through curses and screams you thrashed at the man's barely conscious frame, “FUCK YOU JAX! FUCK YOU!” This was for every time he made you feel stupid, for making you feel like the ugliest girl in the room, for all the times he kissed you while you just prayed for it to be over, for making your life a living hell. With each scratch, punch, and kick all the pent up anger and resentment drained from your soul. Ellie let you have at him for a bit but as the crowd started to thin she knew the cops would be here any second now.

“Come on! We gotta go hun!” she nagged. 

“NO I CAN’T! NOT YET” you yelled, collapsing down into tears. Ellie promptly scooped you up by your armpits and dragged you from Jax’s limp body.

“I know baby, you're angry, it’s hard. But the cops are coming and we need to leave now.” she said, picking you up completely and carrying you through the frame of the propped open front door. You nestled your head into her bloody top as your chest still rapidly rose up and down, choking on the last few streams of tears and snot. “I’m gonna get you home love, don’t you worry.”

January 1st, 12:15am:

Finally through the small window of Ellie’s red truck you spot your familiar 2 story home. She grips the steering wheel, whipping to the right into the empty driveway. Of course she helps you inside and up to your quaint little bedroom. It felt weird almost—so quiet and still after such a chaotic night—and void of any life but you and the freckled faced girl. It was a cold feeling knowing you’d be all alone in just a few minutes, and tonight, you weren’t sure if that was a feeling you wanted to know.

“Els?”

“Yeah?” she answered softly. 

“Can you stay?”

With a kiss to the head she agreed, “Of course I’ll stay.” The rest of the night was spent cuddled up under your warm comforter, and despite all the events from just hours before, you felt safe. And for once, in fucking years, you were content.

✄ - - - -   masterlist   - - - -   ♡

taglist...

@endureher @gold-dustwomxn @alexpritch @4rt3m1ss @robinismywifee @sophlovesbooks @97cityy

(taglist is for all callmelola111 works, if you'd like to be removed just kindly lmk)

[wordgirlexploration]

First day of Pride Month! And What better way to celebrate than with some queer WordGirl headcanons!

WordGirl: Non-binary and bi. We latched onto some throw away lines so hard and we refuse to let go dfjkgh.

Captain Huggy Face: Pan and also Non-binary. His are purely vibes based.

Ms. Question: Transfemme Non-binary and bicurious. Again, just her vibes. We 100% chose bicurious instead of bi though because we thought it fit her question bit XD. (She's here cause I think she's neat <3)

Dr. Two-Brains: Pan and non-binary. No one is safe from his flirting. No one. Unlike the previous three, he's non-binary because we made squeaky a woman. Female mouse + male human = mouse man who's not really either anymore.

The Butcher: Bi, with a preference for women. Two-Brains isn't really his type.

Chuck the Evil Sandwich Making Guy: Trans, demiaroace, and pan! Robin is actually the one who came up with this headcanon! We agree with her <3. Chuck has strong pan vibes but he has even stronger demi vibes. Fun fact: his demi vibes were so strong we assigned him demi twice. We wrote down we thought he was demi, then a few weeks later we were watching a Chuck episode together and thought "wow, he's so demi. we should write down that headcanon". only to find out we already had hjdkg.

Violet: Omni. She didn't quite feel pan, so we went looking and found omni. It just so happens to go nicely with her outfit <3.

Scoops: Trans and bi. We started headcanoning Scoops as trans when we saw he was part of a scout troop, but was the only boy. Ale and I got really attached to the idea that it used to be a girl scout troop, but when Scoops transitioned his troop didn't want to kick him out. Now it's just a scout troop <3. He's bi because that's simply his vibes. He's even got a type; blondes with unusual eyes. Violet, Victoria, and Tobey all fall under this category.

Tobey McCallister: Demiboy and gray romantic. Technically speaking, I don't think Tobey is fully aware of either of these hdjfh. He insists he's cishet. However, I think he's a demiboy, and I think he's only attracted to WordGirl (and Becky). So he's here with his flags cause I wanted him to. Bonus: he's pouting cause he can't ride on one of his robits and therefore forced to walk on the ground with the other plebeians.

And of course! Every single one of these people are autistic. Both because they just are and also because I said so sdkljf. These are my comfort characters and I can project whatever I want on them.

[roodles03]

Fuck You, *Genderbends your Alastor*

(Screenshot Edits)

First off, DO NOT REPOST ANY OF THESE. I left out my signature and watermark for the sake of the authenticity of the edits. Basically meaning I want them to look as real as possible. However, I will be forced to add these to future edits if people start reposting them, especially without my permission. (The Hellaverse fandoms are very bad with this) Due to previous bad experiences, I deal with reposting (especially on insta) very harshly. Especially if reposted without credit. I am not afraid to file reports and get uncredited reposts taken down. This is your ONLY warning, and the ONLY time I will say this, so please heed it.

However, you CAN use my Genderbent designs in fanart or your own edits. All I request is credit for the design!

Okay, papa Roo is done yapping. ANYWAY-

I have been having so much fun with these and they're actually really good for learning to draw in the HH style!

Btw I've changed her name from Alastrina to Alice since I got a comment suggesting that Alice would be a better name. Despite that comment's phrasing being a bit on the rude side, I do agree that, yeah, Alice is a better name. So I do genuinely appreciate the critique despite the fact it could've been a bit nicer said. Tbh I just looked up "Female version of Alastor," when I made the edit of Alastor's render and Alastrina was what I got.

I also made a slight edit to Alice's design where I gave her lipstick since I noticed in Viv's OG drawing she probably did have lipstick.

How many people am I gonna make gay/bi/pan/omni/hetero/etc panic over these edits. Like despite these being my own edits, I am one of the people gay panicking-

Disclaimer: These are EDITS. NOT REDRAWS. I did not draw these from 100% scratch, because the point of an edit is to EDIT. Obviously it is going to be traced in some areas (mainly the face and the limbs) because that's what editing is.

Side note: Imo, good screenshot editing actually still requires heavy drawing experience to pull off well. Obviously your tracing in some areas but you're still changing some things, (the entire point) and if you don't know how to draw well, or draw in the show style well, the edit will either look fake or just bad. Edits still require good drawing experience to pull off well, just the same as regular drawing. You just have a templete to go off of. It's basically the same situation as art bases. They might be infamous for often being done poorly, but they can be still be used to make incredible art if the artist is experienced. And this is not to dunk on beginner artists, because I support the practice of edits and bases (as long as proper credit is given and its stated that they used a base or it is an edit) because bases and editing can be used as training wheels for beginner artists, or even profressional artists like me who are learning a new style, (which is what I'm doing rn actually) it's just at some point, if you're someone who does want to improve your art rather then just have fun, you gotta take the training wheels at some point.

Anyway, rant over. I just wanted to talk about my silly thoughts on bases and editing.

Og screenshots

[when-gravity-has-fallen]

Background details/me blabbing about my askblog yaaay!! Mostly because it's difficult for me to get motivated as it is! Plus maybe after being inactive for 2 years (rip 💀) this will help pique interest? Idk I just wanna talk about my sillies tbh. And the Axolotl needs a break you know? My guy's watching over an entire multiverse.

First off. The post about my LGBTQIA+ headcanons here: https://www.tumblr.com/craycray-wolf/737090570384703488/while-in-wait-for-the-book-of-bill-already-hard?source=share

It's still accurate to how I feel about the characters...mostly. In the time since I made this post, I have since been converted to "Grunkle Stan is bi" and I'm now preaching the Good Word 🤟

Anyway with that now amended, here's some stuff!

I originally made the majority of the posts about where everyone is now back in 2022, when I intended to have the blog launched as part of the 10th anniversary of Gravity Falls airing.

Well clearly that didn't pan (🩷💛💙🍳) out but maybe it was so it could instead coincide with all the revelations from TBoB! Life is kinda a beautiful thing sometimes.

Anyway point being, I'll have to tweak the timeline a bit. Which is fine because I wanted Dippin Dots and Mabes to hold some jobs before college anyway so really my lack of updating is just an excuse for this. That's the major point I could think of but if I didn't properly consider others please sound off 📣 (yes I'm a cringe emoji user AND I'M PROUD)

Soos and Melody are still attempting to conceive because they want at least one bio child if they can but they're working on adoption.

Many assume Gus Burnside to be missing or worse dead. But maybe... he's still out there somewhere...with his physical body fulfilling a deal. But y'know! No one can say for certain!

To be completely honest I'm still figuring out my interpretation of Bill's backstory. Sorry about that.

Though the reason the Axolotl has contacted our dimension to begin with has to do with his concern...about a certain someone. And who better to give a helping hand than the fandom and the Zodiac?

Since Stan taught Wendy how to hot wire vehicles and whatnot, they one day found a fairly intact Harley motorcycle in the dump. They fix it up together and Stan declares it hers. This is where her Harley previously mentioned in other posts comes from.

When did this happen? I've always assumed the Stans come back to land from time to time, including some summers. So likely during summer but a holiday could work too!

Mabel loves being a passenger. Dipper not so much unless he clings tight. Wendy installs a seat back at some point and this helps ease his anxiety. A little. He likes seeing the scenery though so he'll bare through it if asked to ride. Not to mention he cares for Wendy and thus doesn't want to deny her sharing her joy.

Robbie probably figured out he wanted to be an anime artist while doodling in college classes he wasn't paying attention to. Either he was in generals or some other degree at this point. He only drew in private during high school.

THIS NEXT SECTION WILL BE SHIPS 🚨 YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Pacifica during her high school/diner years thought she like liked Dipper. And well, she was Dipper's rebound crush so at around 15 or so they dated for a while. Pacifica however eventually realizes she's actually a lesbian and was misinterpreting her care for Dippin Dots, as well as thinking she only had so many options initially. Dipper realizes it was to cope with Wendy.

Therefore they cut off romantic ties on good terms and continue to be good friends.

(I have nothing against Dipcifica, it's cute. I'm just personally a Mabcifica person and enjoy my lesbian Pacifica hc)

In their early college years Mabel and Pacifica become girlfriends, LET'S GOOOOOO

Candy and Dipper have began to catch each other's eyes... they've healed from the events of Roadside Attraction in the years since and now they can have a healthier relationship in several ways. I WILL DIE FOR THIS SHIP OKAY

Fiddleford and Ford are sweet old man boyfriends. Though romance baffles Ford it makes enough sense with Fiddleford.

Stan is Stan. Though maybe all of his family coming out awakes something in him... something new to explore about himself...

Past Billford will likely be discussed at some point, though they haven't been a thing for decades and it was toxic to begin with.

Grenda and Marius are of course married ❤️ Candy, Mabel, and Pacifica were her bridesmaids. Mabel and Candy were piling over each other trying to get the bouquet, though Wendy catches it. Uninterested in marriage she throws it back out and reflexively Dipper catches it. After confused for a solid moment he tosses it and finally Pacifica then catches it.

_________

SHIP SECTION FINISHED ⚠️

The Pines Twins revisit Gravity Falls every summer until their high school graduation. Well *maybe* they go one more after graduation but then they have job schedules to contend with.

One of those summers (probably when the Mystery Twins are 15) their parents surprise them with a visit! But then they start to question everything because y'know. Weird town.

Eventually the truth comes out about everything, and they better understand their kids.

It wasn't the easiest summer but an important one.

They let their children return because they know how dearly they love their time there, albeit with ground rules established.

As for their jobs, Mabel was a barista and Dipper restocked shelves at a grocery store.

Dipper now has come to care for his birth name and birthmark. He still likes going by Dipper but he insists that only those close with him use the name. The only reason he still wears bangs is that his hairstyle is just comfortable and familiar. This also keeps his birthmark special as only some get to see it (in full).

Mabel still loves knitting and sweaters, but she's experimented a lot with fashion throughout the years. She now has more variety in her wardrobe than sweaters and skirts.

The twins live in dorms with a couple roommates and return back to their childhood home during holidays and summer. They intend to live in Gravity Falls once they get all their education/credentials.

Waddles is an old man but still kickin'. The parents were initially upset with his presence but were convinced by Stan to begrudgingly keep him. They grew to care for the piggy as well.

The family cat (Sniffles) has since passed :(

They have a dog (Honey) now though! She was a puppy from a dog Dipper once dogsat. The owners didn't realize said dog was preggo. It was a whole thing. Anyway Mabel loves putting her in cute outfits that match Waddles, something she used to do with Sniffles.

Mabel is a k-pop multistan (originating from Candy and Grenda introducing it to her) and absolutely loves drinking boba/jelly milk tea. Dipper likes the sound of k-pop music but isn't a fan the same way his sister is. He likes milk tea but the boba pearls themselves freak him the heck out.

There's a lot more but I'm blanking 🤪

[anotherbluesunday]

✨Teaser: In Technicolor✨

So some of you may know this, but my next fic that was set to release was originally called “Ballad of a Teenage Dream” and was a Wednesday x Skam crossover that showcased all the highs and lows of high school and the growing pains that come with the transition from teenager to young adult.

Well that story has been reworked, overhauled, and given new life.

I present to you my high school dramady, In Technicolor.

Set in Los Angeles, California, the story follows two groups of friends as their worlds collide. A modern spin on the social dynamics of Romeo and Juliet where two factions are warring but cannot remember why or why their bitter rivalry is so important to their identity, In Technicolor highlights the feuding of the wealthy and the everyday citizens to show the consequences that come from stripping culture and history from the city streets in the name of gentrification. It explores the complex relationships of families on either side of the fence to reveal that wealth does not always bring happiness. And finally, at the center of it all, the complicated friendships and relationships of the members of these two groups as they meld into one.

For our East LA champions, we follow the Addams siblings and their mismatched group of skateboarders, graffiti artists, musicians, and street racers.

For our Palisades elite, we focus on the Blossoms and Galpin’s—two families from extreme wealth that are not entirely honest about what they show the world.

.

.

.

Important Story Information: If the visuals were not enough to give it away, this story will be a crossover with a different fandom. Entering the mix is the ensemble from Riverdale. I do want to caution readers now, there will be crossover pairings, character retcon on both sides, ageing up, ageing down, and changes to character personalities.

One such example is that Wednesday isn’t allergic to color and isn’t entirely unapproachable. She smiles and laughs but only when around those she trusts like her family and friends. Pugsley has been aged up and is Wednesday’s twin brother. My face claim for this version of Pugsley is Xolo Mariduẽna and I have made Pugsley (who also will be going by “Lee”) more confident and hotheaded with some snark and sass. Second to that, my face claim for Pubert “Bertie” Addams is Malachi Barton and Pubert/Bertie will be one year younger than his siblings—the twins Wednesday and Pugsley age 17 and in their senior year and Bertie age 16 entering his junior year.

On the Riverdale side of the crossover, I have made certain changes that I don’t want to reveal just yet for Archie’s character. That surprise will come soon enough because next I will be posting moodboards for specific couples that will be at the center of this story. But one change I will discuss now to get it out there to avoid hate comments and harassment is the issue of is Cheryl bi or is she a lesbian. In my story, she’s bi and will be paired with a male lead. I understand that the actress for her character went back and forth on Cheryl’s orientation but, to me, Cheryl reads like a chaotic bisexual that goes back and forth on her identity because being bi is confusing enough. And as someone who is bi, I would like to see more representation and fiction for people like myself because fandoms are so quick to erase bisexuality and pansexuality and criticize us when we speak up about it. So in this story, Cheryl is bi and she has broken up with her most recent girlfriend before meeting her next partner who is a man. And it’s fine.

If this upsets you, just swipe off of this post. Don’t leave mean comments or take digs at me because I’m not for any of this fandom infighting nonsense. It’s fiction and these characters can be whatever you want them to be in your stories.

However, if you don’t mind Cheryl liking both men and women, you don’t have an opinion either way, or your curious to see how this’ll pan out, stay tuned. I’d love to share this story with you. All are welcome so long as things stay civil and breezy.

So with that, I look forward to updating with the couple’s board and then the first chapter titlecard along with the chapter itself. Until then, stay lovely and stay groovy.💜

[theroundbartable]

Okay, if you were asked who are in Merlin BBC & Voltron that you can see based on canon that are gay/bi/pan/demi, which characters are they? Why?

What a fun ask I'm totally not doing to procastinate on cooking... XD

BBC Merlin

Arthur Pendragon is, in my head, demiromantic and bisexual... It sort of depends on the circumstances/episode. Arthur needs a very long time to really feel connections with people and only starts to consider love after he really gets to know them, hence his constant search for true love in the show. With Merlin I'm not entirely sure if he was attracted to him instantly, strangely enough feeling a connection from the moment they met, or if it takes him till the end of the series when Merlin confesses his magic and finally shows his true self to realise the depth of his feelings.

Merlin is, well... Bi Bi Bi. A disaster bi in fact. With a preference for sweaty men in metal boxes, he's not very peculiar. However, Merlin is a one person hyperfixation kind of guy. Most people are convinced that Merlin's gay.

Gwen: I feel like most people in BBC Merlin are bi and Gwen is no exception. Like Merlin, she prefers the hero type in metal uniforms. But she also had a thing for Morgana in the beginning.

Morgana: lesbian. I have never seen a woman so disinterested in men, I'm not surprised that they casted Katie McGrath in supergirl as supergirls love interest. I might settle for homoromantic and asexual. But definitly in love with Gwen in the very beginning.

Sir Leon, my beloved, the immortal, the one and only, the eternal suffering aro/ace. I don't have to explain this one. The only counter moment is the Lamia episode where Leon suddenly develops interest in women out of nowhere. My personal take is that anyone could be fallen under a Lamia's spell, this one just had a taste for men (and male presenting).

Sir Elian: once upon a time I clocked them as nonbinary and sadly that's as far as I thought into this character. Pretty sure he's aromantic. He/they pronouns. I dunno, I don't think Elian would conform to anything if given a choice. Aromantic too, I think. Like Leon, there is no interest there, but he does play around with Percival and Gwaine quite often, so I'd take that as allosexual.

I am excluding Gwaine because I think canon Gwaine is written as a straight oblivious fuckboy. Albeit a kind one XD fanon Gwaine is often poly/ pan... Or into apples. Lmao XD and I'm not sure about Percival because the man has a dead wife and kids.

Voltron

Keith: with his lack of interest in women, he can only be gay. That man looks at no one quite the same as he looks at Lance. what the hell was the whole bonding thing if not a hint for post canon klance? Sorry, not sorry XD rivals to best friends to lovers.

Lance: *bi bo bi* bisexual lighting Lance. Doesn't matter if you prefer klance or shallura, this man is a walking bi flag. I don't know what you mean by proof, just look at this wiggly boy with the fingerguns. He can't even sit straight! Can't do math either. He's perfect!

Shiro: probably the only character in my entire history of shipping that I would unqueer without feeling bad about it. I know he's gay, I just don't really see it in the writing. Of course there aren't always clear signs that someone is gay which is why this is good rep actually (+he's married), but you asked me for proof in the show and all I see is that this man is a dad. That's his gender and his orientation and that's all I really need to know.

Pidge: aro/ace because I love my aroaces and this child loves robots and robots only. Also nonbinary/genderqueer. Pronouns: fuck/off XD

I think Lotor should have been bi. Pre-canon Lotor had us Langsters ship Lotor x Lance and it was so much fun :D

Bob: gender: evil, orientation: villain. I hate this guy

Coran: the georgous man is either gay or pan. More likely pan because I vaguely remember he had a son?

I hope I answered your question reasonably enough XD thank you for the ask, anon :3

[idwsonicshowdown]

HAPPY PRIDE FROM THE IDW SONIC SHOWDOWN! Made it just in time before pride finishes here in the UK, but pride lasts all year around anyway. However you celebrate and whatever flags you use to represent yourselves, I hope you have a good one Here's a little doodle featuring characters from IDW and a few other Sonic comics who have some degree of queer to them, either in the comics, word of god or popular headcanons. I wanted to include more (shout out to Mighty's gay dad and his dinosaur bf from StC!), but ran out of time and space A little more info about each character, in case anyone's curious:

From top left: Tekno the Canary - From Fleetway Sonic the Comic, a character widely embraced by the queer community. In a conclusion to StC written by series writer Nigel Kitching and released on StC:Online, Tekno is revealed to be in a relationship and have a child with Amy Rose. As of this year, Tekno's creator Lew Stringer gave his blessing for fans to think of her as non-binary, even if he himself wrote her as female - leading some fans to embrace Tekno as she/they Gold the Tenrec - From the Archie Sonic Comics, Gold has been stated by creator Evan Stanley to be attracted to women, although Stanley wasn't sure if Gold was strictly bi or gay, which is why I opted to give her the rainbow flag here Tangle & Whisper - As close as we can possibly get to being a couple without officially being a couple. Hopefully one day! I was actually going to use the rainbow flag for them as well, but as of this month's issue, the duo appeared with a lesbian patterned sky in the background, so they got the lesbian flag Dr. Starline - Headcanoned by some to be a transman because his spurs (which are naturally occurring in male platypuses) are artificial. It's also generally accepted (I think??) that his idolising of Eggman may be romantic. I did a poll for which flag to give him and the gay flag won, so he got that one Nite & Don - Our married bird guys! Good for them! Again, I gave them the rainbow pride flag because it hasn't been stated (that I know) if they're gay, bi, pan or otherwise, but they're happy and together either way Sally Acorn (with tiny Nicole!) - My childhood fave from the Archie Comics. This chipmunk is bisexual and there is nothing you can do about it Lanolin the Sheep - Many of us are optimistic that Lanolin might quietly be the trans rep we've been hoping for from Sonic, as she's a girl sheep with horns Cheese the Chao - As chao are non-binary, I included Cheese to represent them, because Cheese is cool Sonic the Hedgehog - A touchstone to many in the community. I included the asexual, aromantic and trans flags in his speed trail, as Sonic won the t-boy swag tournament on tumblr and Sonic/no one was voted the best Sonic ship on tumblr. As a trans aroace person myself, Sonic's lack of interest in romance and conformity was always inspirational to me growing up. The rainbow facepaint is because I'm sure that he's as important to other members of the community in their identities as well As always, these are my readings and takes on these characters that may not align with your own or be canon in anyway. But I hope that you can find joy and peace in pride as I do regardless :3

[duckprintspress]

10 Books for Pansexual and Panromantic Visibility Day!

May 24th is Pansexual and Panromantic Visibility Day, so make sure to say hi to your pan friends before they’re invisible again! We’re celebrating with (shock) book recommendations! Explicit pan rep is hard to come by, and in cases where it’s implied, the difference between interpreting a characters as bi versus pan is often down to personal perceptions of the character and the sexuality/romanticisms in questions. With that in mind, we present 10 titles we loved with either explicit or implied pan rep! The contributors to this list are: Nina Waters, Tris Lawrence, boneturtle, E. C., and two anonymous contributors

All Systems Red (The Murderbot Diaries series) by Martha Wells

“As a heartless killing machine, I was a complete failure.”

In a corporate-dominated spacefaring future, planetary missions must be approved and supplied by the Company. Exploratory teams are accompanied by Company-supplied security androids, for their own safety.

But in a society where contracts are awarded to the lowest bidder, safety isn’t a primary concern.

On a distant planet, a team of scientists are conducting surface tests, shadowed by their Company-supplied ‘droid—a self-aware SecUnit that has hacked its own governor module, and refers to itself (though never out loud) as “Murderbot.” Scornful of humans, all it really wants is to be left alone long enough to figure out who it is.

But when a neighboring mission goes dark, it’s up to the scientists and their Murderbot to get to the truth.

A Fisherman of the Inland Sea by Ursula K. Le Guin

The award-winning stories in A Fisherman of the Inland Sea range from the everyday to the outer limits of experience, where the quantum uncertainties of space and time are resolved only in the depths of the human heart. Astonishing in their diversity and power, they exhibit both the artistry of a major writer at the height of her powers and the humanity of a mature artist confronting the world with her gift of wonder still intact.

Commit to the Kick by Tris Lawrence

For eighteen years, Alaric has lived under the cloying politics of family and his Clan community. His freshman year is supposed to be a chance to explore a world where Clan and his shapeshifting Talent isn’t central to his life. But when his inner bear bursts forth during his first football game, endangering those around him, Alaric realizes that it’s not so easy to ignore his past, or his own internalized anger.

In his quest for anger management, Alaric begins to train in taekwondo, and makes new friends in both sports. He finds that he is creating his own small community, where Clan, Mages, other Talents, and even humans come together and build their own found family.

When Alaric receives news that something has happened to his brother Orson, he must return and deal with his Clan and his place in their world. He discovers that old prejudices are still strong between Clan and Mage communities, but that both may be in danger from a creature long thought to be only a legend. Alaric must figure out how to move forward and prevent a war and protect both his home and newly built communities, his found family with him every step of the way. 

Count Your Lucky Stars by Alexandria Bellefleur

Margot Cooper doesn’t do relationships. She tried and it blew up in her face, so she’ll stick with casual hookups, thank you very much. But now her entire crew has found “the one” and she’s beginning tofeel like a fifth wheel. And then fate (the heartless bitch) intervenes. While touring a wedding venue with her engaged friends, Margot comes face-to-face with Olivia Grant—her childhood friend, her first love, her first… well, everything. It’s been ten years, but the moment they lock eyes, Margot’s cold, dead heart thumps in her chest.

Olivia must be hallucinating. In the decade since she last saw Margot, her life hasn’t gone exactly as planned. At almost thirty, she’s been married… and divorced. However, a wedding planner job in Seattle means a fresh start and a chance to follow her dreams. Never in a million years did she expect her important new client’s Best Woman would be the one that got away.

When a series of unfortunate events leaves Olivia without a place to stay, Margot offers up her spare room because she’s a Very Good Person. Obviously. It has nothing to do with the fact that Olivia is as beautiful as ever and the sparks between them still make Margot tingle. As they spend time in close quarters, Margot starts to question her no-strings stance. Olivia is everything she’s ever wanted, but Margot let her in once and it ended in disaster. Will history repeat itself or should she count her lucky stars that she gets a second chance with her first love? 

Maneater (Monsters of Moonvale series) by Emily Antoinette

If something ever seems too good to be true, it probably is. That’s how the “friendly” invitation to join a new coven turned into a surprise demon summoning. At least it wasn’t a virgin sacrifice. Then I really would have been screwed—and not in the way they plan for with the succubus they’ve bound. 

When I help free her from the bindings and offer her a ride back to work, things get even weirder. She tells me she wants to see me again. This captivating woman wants to see me—a nerdy witch who spends his free time playing D&D. 

There’s no way she means it. Because that’s definitely too good to be true. Still, there’s no way I can resist the opportunity to spend more time with a goddess like her. 

There’s Magic Between Us by Jillian Maria

A diehard city girl, 16-year-old Lydia Barnes is reluctant to spend a week in her grandma’s small town. But hidden beneath Fairbrooke’s exterior of shoddy diners and empty farms, there’s a forest that calls to her. In it, she meets Eden: blunt, focused, and fascinating. She claims to be hunting fae treasure, and while Lydia laughs it off at first, it quickly becomes obvious that Eden’s not joking-magic is real.

Lydia joins the treasure hunt, thrilled by all the things it offers her. Things like endless places in the forest to explore and a friendship with Eden that threatens to blossom into something more. But even as she throws herself into her new adventure, some questions linger. Why did her mom keep magic a secret? Why do most of the townspeople act like the forest is evil? It seems that, as much as Lydia would like to pretend otherwise, not everything in Fairbrooke is as bright and easy as a new crush…

Fire and Flight (ElfQuest series) by Wendy and Richard Pini

The forest-dwelling elves called the Wolfriders are burnt out of their ancestral home by vengeful humans. Betrayed by cowardly trolls, the elfin band, led by Cutter, Blood of Ten Chiefs, must cross the Burning Waste to find a haven they’ve never seen before. Can the Wolfriders survive? If they do, what surprises await them at Sorrow’s End?

Fledgling by Octavia E. Butler

This is the story of an apparently young, amnesiac girl whose alarmingly unhuman needs and abilities lead her to a startling conclusion: She is in fact a genetically modified, 53-year-old vampire. Forced to discover what she can about her stolen former life, she must at the same time learn who wanted-and still wants-to destroy her and those she cares for and how she can save herself.

Final Draft by Riley Redgate

Laila Piedra doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, and definitely doesn’t sneak into the 21-and-over clubs on the Lower East Side. The only sort of risk Laila enjoys is the peril she writes for the characters in her stories: epic sci-fi worlds full of quests, forbidden love, and robots. Her creative writing teacher has always told her she has a special talent. But three months before graduation, Laila’s number one fan is replaced by Nadiya Nazarenko, a Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist who sees nothing at all special about Laila’s writing.

A growing obsession with gaining Nazarenko’s approval–and fixing her first-ever failing grade–leads to a series of unexpected adventures. Soon Laila is discovering the psychedelic highs and perilous lows of nightlife, and the beauty of temporary flings and ambiguity. But with her sanity and happiness on the line, Laila must figure out if enduring the unendurable really is the only way to greatness.

Before I Let Go by Marieke Nijkamp

Best friends Corey and Kyra were inseparable in their tiny snow-covered town of Lost Creek, Alaska. But as Kyra starts to struggle with her bipolar disorder, Corey’s family moves away. Worried about what might happen in her absence, Corey makes Kyra promise that she’ll stay strong during the long, dark winter.

Then, just days before Corey is to visit, Kyra dies. Corey is devastated–and confused, because Kyra said she wouldn’t hurt herself. The entire Lost community speaks in hushed tones, saying Kyra’s death was meant to be. And they push Corey away like she’s a stranger.

The further Corey investigates–and the more questions she asks–the greater her suspicion grows. Lost is keeping secrets–chilling secrets. Can she piece together the truth about Kyra’s death and survive her visit?

You can also view this list on the shelf on our Goodreads, or visit Bookshop.org and check out this list in our affiliate shop! Note: due to the difficulty of differentiating a pan characters versus a bi character unless which they are is explicitly identified in canon, we have put bi and pan characters on joint lists – so these lists linked are bisexual and/or pansexual character lists.

What are your favorite books with pansexual and panromantic characters?

[cupid-roses]

My sexuality and gender headcanons for my fav one piece characters!!

Luffy: transfem. A she/her if you will. You are missing the potential of this. Also asexual and pan Demi romantic

Zoro: GAY SO SO SO GAY I see him as cis he/him but I will always enjoy a good transmasc hc

Nami: lesbian. Need I say more. A cis(?) she/her(and they/them)

Usopp: everyone thinks this man is straight until they see him razzle dazzle a man with his stories and pure charisma. Pansexual and a he/they Demi boy

Sanji: bisexual. to me his gender changes for each rendition I see of him in either art or fanfics. He can truly be anything at any moment for me to the point I can’t decide.

(Ok to others outside the strawhats)

Perona: lesbian. She is the goth lesbian you see in a hot topic. Also a demi girl, she/it

Vivi: a bisexual she/her

Baby 5: (I love her and yall sleep on her so much) will say she’s straight but if she actually meets a decent woman she would be down bad. Bi romantic and Demi sexual also a cis she/her

Reiju: bisexuality runs in the family what can I say? She/her

Shanks: the most transmasc man ever, he/him. He passes so well most don’t even know till you get in bed with him. Bi with such a heavy preference for men he might as well be gay

Buggy: gender? Never heard of it. Will let you use any pronouns on them and presents however he likes on any given day. Pansexual

Doflamingo: genderfluid. If you asked for his pronouns they will tell you to guess and then kill you if you get it wrong. (Corazon is the only one to know immediately what gender she is at any given time) a lover of men.

Corazon: also transfem. She is mothering. She might actually be the only straight person on this list so yeah

[samble-moved]

Sayaka is Biyaka (or, a Lesbian Tries to Disprove the "Sayaka is a Lesbian With Comphet" Bi Erasure Theory)

For some reason, there's a loooot of belief in the PMMM fandom (this was especially bad in the mid 2010s) that Sayaka isn't bi (despite her canon, on screen romantic interested in both Kyosuke, a guy, and Kyoko, a girl), she's "just" a lesbian struggling with compulsive heterosexuality.

While many lesbians do struggle with comphet, erasing Sayaka's status as bi/pan/omni/mspec to claim she's a lesbian is...not great!

Usual signs of comphet include, but are not limited to:

Only attraction to guys involves ones who are entirely unobtainable (ex. a celebrity, fictional, etc)

Any man you fantasize about is faceless/nameless

Interest in men in theory, but not practice

"Choosing" a man to have a crush on to seem "normal", or because it's expected

Attraction based on logic, not actual emotion (ex. because your parents would approve)

Liking a guy until they return the interest

Being attracted to certain guys just because of something like a talent

(...and more examples here!)

However, Sayaka's attraction to Kyosuke doesn't seem based on any of these, but seems more to be genuine attraction/interest.

For one, Sayaka has been close to Kyosuke ever since she was a child. They're described and shown as childhood friends, and he isn't a guy Sayaka "just met" and "chose" to be into.

Sayaka also just isn't into Kyosuke at a surface level. If she held no true attraction towards him, why would she willingly trade her relatively safe, happy life for his happiness? Her wish was to heal his hand. While this was the stated wish, it's outright shown that Sayaka didn't just want that. It's outright shown canonically that, while not fully said, Sayaka wants Kyosuke's appreciation and recognition for this. She wants him to know the miracle was her doing, and wants him to love her for doing it.

The various interpretions of this won't be majorly touched here, as whether or not Sayaka's thinking there is "selfish" isn't important. What is important is that Sayaka shows a true level of attraction to Kyosuke, and wishes it was reciprocated.

It's not that she "just" likes him for his skills (she still visits him in the hospital, even during a time where it's implied that he won't be able to play his violin again). It's not that he's a guy out of reach — he's a childhood friend. She's not being pressured into liking guys. She literally jokes about Madoka being her wife in front of Hitomi, publicly.

Her feelings are obvious and genuine enough that Hitomi tells Sayaka that, if she wants, she will give Sayaka a day to confess to Kyosuke before Hitomi does.

A bisexual person who ends up later liking someone of the same gender later on isn't "actually gay" instead. A bisexual person with a preference isn't "choosing a side". Erasing a canon bisexual character's identity to claim "ummm, akshully, 🤓 they're Really X sexuality instead" is biphobic!

I'm probably not the best person to make this post, as I am a lesbian, not bisexual. However, people erasing a bi character's sexuality to call them a lesbian instead is not okay, and it wouldn't be okay the other way around either. It's not "progressive" to insist a bi character can't possibly be bi, they have to be gay. Sayaka shows no sign of comphet, no sign of "just" likely Kyosuke because she feels it's "right". She shows actual, real interest in him and Kyoko, and that doesn't make her "actually a lesbian". She's bisexual. A character being bi isn't some stepping stone to them being "really" gay later on, and it isn't a dirty word to call them bi! It's an identity like any other.

Most fans ignore Kyosuke. This isn't something I think is a major issue, as Sayaka seems to lose interest in him after Rebellion (saying Hitomi deserves better). He's probably not the best guy. But that's not an excuse to erase Sayaka's identity, because she liked a not-so-great dude. A lesbian with a shitty ex isn't suddenly not a lesbian, and a bisexual person with a less than stellar former crush isn't suddenly not bisexual due to it.

Tl;dr:

[cuddles-edits]

Ambiguously Bisexual Characters

Happy Bisexual Day of Visibility. Here's another icon set of ambiguously bisexual characters.

No Discourse Please.

Zoé Lee from Miraculous Ladybug; she is revealed to have feelings for Marinette in the Season 5 episode Adoration, confirming that she is attracted to women. Her exact sexuality has not yet been stated.

Blue Moon from Cyberpunk 2077; during their final text conversation after successfully completing the Every Breath You Take side job, V can ask them out to dinner. Regardless of gender, she turns them down, not because she doesn't want to, but because she doesn't have time. Whether this is a hint that she's bi or an oversight by the developers is uncertain, but it's a valid interpretation nontheless.

Yang Xiao Long from RWBY; she is in a relationship with Blake Belladonna, who is canonically bi, as of Volume 9, but it is unclear if Yang is bi, pan or lesbian. Though it is worth noting that she displays attraction to men very early on in the series, though hasn't done since, so it could be interpreted either way.

Fang from Goodbye Volcano High; they are non-binary and can potentially enter a relationship with the female Naomi. Their exact orientation remains unsaid, however, and is left open to interpretation.

Naomi from Goodbye Volcano High; she is attracted to the non-binary Fang, and can potentially enter a relationship with them. Her exact orientation remains unsaid, however, and is left open for interpretation,

Reed from Goodbye Volcano High; he is shown to be attracted to men, but his exact orientation remains unsaid and open for interpretation.

Boscha from The Owl House; when asking Amity if she saw a ghost and if they're cute, Boscha refers to them with gender neutral pronouns. In addition, the way she is written in For The Future provides some possible subtext that she may have had feelings for Amity at some point. No statement on this has been given, so it's open to interpretation.

Goro Takemura from Cyberpunk 2077; following the mission Gimme Danger, V can ask Takemura in a very suggestive fashion if he'd like some company, which he does pick up on. Regardless of gender, he turns them down, but also says that he is "honoured", and indicates that if circumstances were different, he may have accepted. Again, whether this is developer oversight or a hint that Goro is bisexual is open to interpretation.

Edric Blight from The Owl House; in the episode Through the Looking Glass Ruins, he's said to have a date with someone, but they are only ever referred to with gender neutral pronouns. We never see this person, or hear anything else about this afterwards, so their gender and his sexuality remains open to interpretation.

[slveepyscwrs]

Question, can I request a Kuroo x Y/N hurt/comfort where Y/N tries coming out to their parents as bi/pan and their parents yell at them so Y/N goes to Kuroo for comfort?? Thanks =)

OMG I AM SO SORRY FOR TAKING THIS LONG, I don't even know if you'd still want to read this. :((

Life has been a little bitch, but let me tell you, I LOVED your request, it hit really close to home for me, so that's also why I spent so much time on it... I really wanted to make it something special for you :)

Some quick notes:

-Multispec is used as a catch-all for all identities that involve attraction to multiple genders, rather than just bi or pan, to be more inclusive.

-They/Them is used as a catch-all to include Y/Ns of all genders. However, I did make them a member of the volleyball team... By the time I remembered it was a boys' only team, it was too late, so yeah let's just pretend that this is a more gender diverse world–

-I don't think much is said about Kuroo's mom in canon, so my interpretation of what she would be like in this situation is entirely based on head canons.

With that out of the way, without further ado–

Never Stop Loving

TWs: LGBTQIA-phobia, child abandonment, physical abuse, HEAVY religious bigotry

Growing up, crushes seemed so simple to everyone. A boy and a girl would start spending a lot of time with each other at school, and then everyone would tease them, never ceasing to ship them together relentlessly. Sometimes, in a few lucky cases, either one of them would say ‘I like you too!’ And thus, a silly puppy love relationship began.

Being a boy and liking girls, or being a girl and liking boys, was the standard childhood experience for everyone around you… except for you yourself.

For one thing, you resented stereotypical gender roles from a very young age. The idea that girls must be giggling and gossipy, and that boys should be all rough and tough, was abhorrent to you. Deep down, you always knew that there was much more to gender than that, and that there were probably more than two genders in the first place.

That conviction didn’t help you much in terms of fitting in. However, gender itself wasn’t the only idea you struggled to grasp, it was which gender you meant to be attracted to.

As you grew a bit older, teachers began mentioning that there were boys who liked boys and girls who liked girls too. Yet still, even that didn’t seem to answer the burning feelings you had always held inside.

That butterfly feeling that was characteristic of crushes wasn’t exclusive to any one gender for you– although short-lived, you had periods of romantic fantasies for all kinds of people.

Despite the fact that everyone around you was choosing one gender with ease, you eventually came to accept that this was how you felt. Even though people called you weird and outcasted you whenever you even mentioned the possibility of a person being able to be attracted to more than one gender, there was no ‘getting rid’ of these feelings, so you shrugged and figured that you may as well accept it.

It wouldn’t be until your teenage years rolled around and you began browsing through internet forums that you found that there was a name for these feelings– the multisexual spectrum.

Whichever one of the many identities on this spectrum you came to identify with, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off your shoulders. It felt so freeing just to know that there were so many others who had the same attractions as you, and that you weren’t crazy after all.

However, with that freedom also came a realisation that crushed and shattered your whole entire world to pieces.

Tragically, your parents didn’t seem to feel the same way when it came to people who didn’t fall into heteronormative expectations of what they thought love should be.

Forget those on the multisexual spectrum, they despised even just gay and lesbian people.

It began with a quick changing of the channel whenever some news about LGBTQIA+ people came on. You shrugged it off at first, but they slowly began revealing their true colours.

“How can someone be so sinful? They will surely burn in hell.”

“They’re violating God’s natural order!”

“They’re so evil, they’re fucking brainwashing the kids now too!”

“I wish the government would have never legalised gay marriage…”

“One man. One woman. That is the only acceptable version of love.”

Whenever these words from both your mum and your dad rang in your head, you felt sick to your stomach. They had no clue that you liked multiple genders, and judging from their reactions to gay people, they would probably react even harsher when they discovered that people on the multisexual spectrum exist too.

And you were one of those people.

Being aware of what could potentially happen in the event that they found out, you kept your identity on the extreme down low. You didn’t even tell anyone on the volleyball team at your new highschool, Nekoma High.

You had developed a passion for volleyball over the past few years. It was the best distraction that you found for everything going on at home. In fact, you often tried to stay back for as long as possible even beyond Nekoma’s regular afterschool routines, just so you would have to spend time with the two who you weren’t even all that sure you could truly love anymore.

As for your teammates, they were the first real friends you had in a long time. Of course, Nekoma was notorious for their rather… chaotic antics. Kuroo, the captain of your team, was arguably one of the most chaotic of them all, what with his snarky remarks and overly laid back attitudes.

Still, behind it all, anyone on the Nekoma team could always count on each other. You had never felt a stronger “mess with one of us, mess with all of us” mentality anywhere else.

And yet, you didn’t hint at your identity to any of them either. The reality remained that you couldn’t predict what they would feel about one of their teammates having a multispec identity, and besides… you didn’t want to burden them or disturb their happiness in any way.

You resolved to keep everything going on in your head to yourself, for the sake of everyone you cared about.

One day, though, you had let your guard down.

During practice at the volleyball club, everyone was taking a break. Your teammates had boundless energy, but even they got tuckered out at times, and the same went for you just as much.

You sat in a corner as your mind began to wander off to your hidden identity crisis, as it often did.

“Will I have to keep this a secret forever…?”

Despite your best efforts, the burden of keeping a secret weighed down on your heart more and more. Just before your thoughts began to spiral out of control, an idea popped in your head.

You took out your laptop, and frantically began to type all those thoughts you had been keeping to yourself. You wrote about your identity, and your reluctance to tell your parents.

As you typed, it became apparent that, however scary the idea was, your parents would have to know sooner or later. If you ever started dating at one point, especially if that partner was the same gender as you…

Your thoughts were snapped back to the present moment by a sudden wave of thirst. It hit you just how hard you worked on perfecting your volleyball techniques, to the point that you had neglected hydration.

The sense of urgency became so great that you bolted off to find your water bottle.

However, your laptop had been left open.

Kuroo was the first to notice this. You didn’t know why, but Kuroo was always the first to notice even the little things about you.

“Where are they? They left their laptop open, some dumbass is going to fumble with the ball and smash the screen to tiny little pieces!”

His rambling to himself stopped when he noticed the notebook window left open on your screen. Something told him he shouldn’t be reading it, but his heart told him that this was much more important than that.

“Let’s see here…” He mumbled under his breath, reading everything to himself in the lowest voice he could. Soon, he trailed off, purely in shock from all that had just been revealed to him.

Of course, he was taken aback by the fact that you liked multiple genders– partially because he did too, and just like you, he wasn’t expecting to find anyone like him.

However, more than that, he felt ashamed. He was the captain, for god’s sakes. He was supposed to know his team like the back of his hand, and yet he couldn’t pick up on all these struggles.

“God, can’t I just call off the practice for today? I really just want to give them a hug right now…”

That was his first instinct, but he knew that would arouse too much suspicion, and the last thing he wanted to do was to draw attention to you. He knew that you could feel embarrassed when you were the centre of attention.

And so, practice went on, but Kuroo was noticeably stumbling. All his blocks were broken down like glass, and more often than not, he was catching the ball in his face.

“Haha, the way Kuroo’s catching the ball smack in the face is reminding me of the shrimp from Karasuno!” Lev teased.

Kai, Kuroo’s vice captain, sighed.

“Lev, how many times do I have to tell you that we don’t talk smack about other teams’ players behind their backs? But, you’re right… I think we have to call it quits for today, unless we want our captain’s face to be bruised beyond return.”

Mostly, everyone shuffled out of the gym with no more than a few grumbles or jokes, or the occasional side eye from Kenma.

You, on the other hand, immediately raised an eyebrow at this.

You knew something was on Kuroo’s mind.

What you didn’t know, however, was that Kuroo knew something about you as well.

When everyone had left, you both made firm eye contact with each other. As if pulled in by a rope, you took step by step to close the distance between you two, neither of you breaking that unwavering eye contact.

When you were mere inches apart from each other, you kept on with that impromptu staring contest in silence, waiting to see who would speak up first.

After a few moments, it turned out that both of you blurted it out at the same time.

“Kuroo, what is wrong with you today?”

“I support you, you idiot!”

The difference in what you both said prompted your gazes to turn bewildered.

Your eyes went wide.

“Huh!?”

You understood exactly what he was talking about. It was the fact that he must have found out somehow that terrified you, and you couldn’t help but tremble as you fumbled over your words in an attempt to execute damage control.

“I’m sorry… If you want to think I’m disgusting and curse me, you have every right to… I know I’m a freak for being different.”

Kuroo stared at you as if you had just spoken in an entirely different language.

“Now, why the fuck would I do that?” He was always sly like this, but this time, there was a hint of fondness in his voice as well.

Your head and your heart were still racing a mile a minute, and when Kuroo saw that his laid-backness wasn’t helping, his face softened. 

You felt gentle, strong arms embrace you, and without thinking, you buried your head into his chest.

“If you’re a freak, then I am too, you know.”

When you didn’t react, he elaborated further.

“I’m also into more than one gender…”

At this, your head shot up towards him, gazing into his eyes with both a sense of surprise and a newfound admiration for him.

He smiled at your eagerness, patting your head.

“From now on, we don’t keep things from each other, okay? I’m your captain, and I’m well aware that I can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but it’s still my number one goal to support my team in everything I do.”

To tease him back, you smirked into a sly grin, one that could even rival that of Kuroo himself.

“Wow, so you see me as just your teammate?”

He hadn’t been expecting this, so he suddenly let you go as his face immediately turned flustered. He waved around his arms so frantically that it appeared as if he were doing some strange dance.

“No! You’re my friend! Wait, that sounds wrong too… You’re my best friend!”

“Isn’t that supposed to be Kenma’s job, though? Does that mean I’m more than a best friend as well?” 

At this point, Kuroo looked just about ready to short circuit. You were enjoying every moment that you got to see him transform from a scheming genius to a babbling maniac.

However, you didn’t want Kuroo’s brain to actually stop working, so you granted him mercy by shifting the topic to a more somber concern.

“Since you’re also, you know… Did you ever tell your parents? Are they LGBTQIA-phobic too?”

Kuroo turned back to normal and scratched his chin in thought for a moment, and then shrugged.

“I mean, they can be scary as hell, so I thought they were… But when I did finally tell them, they kind of just went ‘Yeah, we know. Just remember to use protection.’”

The bluntness from such a reaction made you chuckle. A small hope ignited in your heart.

“Maybe if I tell them how I feel, I can get them to change?”

Just to confirm this, you turned to Kuroo for encouragement.

“So you’re saying that… even if I think that my parents might not be accepting, I should give it a go anyway?”

He put his hands on his hips, taking the proud stance that he was notorious for, yet still looking at you with an encouraging glance.

“It’s your choice, but I don’t remember ever teaching my team to be afraid of anything… It’s your life, so you have to have the courage to stand up for yourself. You especially don’t want to have weak knees in front of your own damn parents!”

These words were all you needed to make you think that maybe everything would be okay, and you felt your heart beat with a fondness for Kuroo that you’d never truly felt for anyone before, not even your puppy love crushes in childhood.

The thing was, you could have sworn you felt Kuroo’s heartbeat in the air the same way.

“What are you looking at me for? Go home and do it already!” You could tell he was getting all shy again.

And with that, you turned around and sprinted off back home.

Yet, as he watched you fade off into the distance, he couldn’t help but feel some gut instinct gnaw away at his conscience.

“Shit, why do I feel like I said something terribly wrong?”

By the time you arrived back, the sky had dimmed to give way to the evening. The first thing you did when you walked inside was greet your parents more cheerily than usual to set a good atmosphere, and observed their faces.

Oddly, they seemed to be in a good mood. They weren’t even having an argument. Your mom simply made small talk about various matters to your dad, who nodded along in agreement, as she welcomed you to the dinner table.

“You’re back a bit early.” Your mom hummed cheerily.

“Oh, practice got out earlier than usual today.”

“That’s nice, then.”

“You’re also in a much better mood than usual. It’s been a long time since you’ve spent time together with us like this, kiddo.” Your dad added in a tone of approval as he looked up from the newspaper he was reading.

You decided to take advantage of the positive notes that had been set. You inhaled and exhaled as deeply as you could to calm your shaky nerves.

It was now or never.

“Mom, dad, can I tell you something…?”

“Mhm. What’s up?”

Your mom turned around, still multitasking her miscellaneous chores around the kitchen. Your dad’s attention was piqued too, but he was still half focused on the newspaper himself.

“I think I like multiple genders!” You heaved out in a louder than expected tone.

Both your parents immediately dropped what they were doing. Both pairs of eyes fell on you, with an expression that made it look like you had just confessed to committing arson on the school and getting expelled.

“Kids these days! It must be one of those new trends or phases, right?”

Your dad nervously attempted to laugh off, and you could tell that he was hoping to whatever twisted version of God he must believe in that that was actually the case.

However, it very much was the opposite.

“No, it’s not a phase, dad… This is who I am…” Your voice began to shake and drop to a nervous whisper. This was already starting to go down south, but there was no turning back.

“I knew that the internet was brainwashing kids into this filth, but I never thought you would be one of them! We raised you to be better than this!” 

Your mom’s voice immediately began cranking up the dial further and further with anger and hatred.

“I’m not brainwashed, mom! Why is it so wrong for me to just be who I am?”

It was clear that your mom wasn’t going to back down from her stance, even though this was her own child, so two could play at this game, you thought.

“How many times do we have to tell you? There are only men and women, and God only wants one man, and one woman! Anything other than that is disgraceful, filthy, and–“ Your mother argued back, only to be cut off by you.

“Fuck you and your stupid ideas about God! I’m not even hurting anyone, so why do you guys always have to be so hateful when all we want is love?”

You knew that your rage-filled tone and your words were the very textbook definition of disrespect, but you couldn’t take it anymore. More than ever, you were confronted face on with the reality that your parents were never, ever going to change after all.

You began to see red, but just as you were about to double down, you were snapped back by a painful sting to the face.

Your dad stood towering above you, having just slapped you square on the face. The force was so great that you came tumbling to the ground, your butt making a painful impact against the hardwood floor.

“Fucking deviants like you should just burn in hell.” 

He spat this out in a tone so cold it seemed to freeze the air around you. As you looked up at him like a deer in headlights, he simply looked down upon you with an expression that was utterly devoid of any semblance of mercy.

Everything hurt, and in that moment, you wanted nothing more than to curl up in a hole and disappear forever.

Although your thoughts were in absolute overdrive right now, one thing was sure– it was not safe to be here anymore.

Mustering up whatever little strength you had left, you scurried and limped towards the door like an injured, helpless little animal.

“And don’t you dare come back!” Your father yelled after you, still feeling absolutely zero remorse.

As soon as you stepped outside, a burst of chilly wind hit you with a force that felt like another slap in the face.

You hid behind another house that was a safe distance away. You didn’t really care to know your neighbours, but no one was home, so you could at least be confident that no one was going to surprise you.

As you slumped down against the wall, the reality of what had happened began to hit you.

You had just been kicked out of your own home. You could expect yelling, you could expect bigotry, but this was the absolute worst case scenario, and you never thought it could be real.

And yet, it was all happening. All at once. Your parents didn’t love you anymore, and you had nowhere to go.

The uncertainty of what could happen, as long as the icy cold that began to make you shiver uncontrollably, prompted you to curl up into a ball and sob a stream of tears.

“It’s all my fault… I should have kept my mouth shut…”

Still, even though it was Kuroo who had encouraged you to come out, you didn’t blame him in even the slightest bit.

“Kuroo will be so disappointed in me… He was so confident in me, and yet I failed…”

As the graveness of your situation continued to set in, your fingertips and toes started to go numb. You hadn’t even had the chance to pull on a jacket on your way out of the heated environment of your house.

The tip of your nose also turned red from the biting cold, as your only protection was your T-shirt and shorts– the worst possible dressing for the weather.

It was indeed tempting to give up and fall asleep on the icy grass, but another realisation made you fight tooth and nail to keep your eyes open– if you fell asleep in this weather, your life itself would be at risk, and there was no certainty that you would even wake up.

Your choices grew slimmer and slimmer the more you thought about it, but throughout your thought process, one subject ringed repeatedly in your mind.

“Could I go to Kuroo’s house…?”

From the few times you had visited Kuroo’s house with your team, you vaguely remembered that his house was only a few blocks away from yours. It was a risk to go when you were in this state, and you didn’t want to burden him either, but this was a matter of life or death.

You tried to recall to mind a house number, but failed. The only concrete memory of Kuroo’s house that you had was that it was a different colour exterior than the houses around it, so if you were lucky enough to come across it, you would know.

With this extremely limited knowledge in your hands, you took off walk-running in a vague direction. You would normally had no problem running for a few blocks, but the cold battled you for power over your legs.

As you went further and further, your shivering became more profound, but you had to power through. The moment you would collapse unconscious, it would all be over.

With these high stakes sending your adrenaline rushing to an all-time high, you forced yourself to keep going. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem that the physical activity warmed your body even nearly enough to make a difference.

Even when your vision started to blur in and out, even when every muscle in your body begged for mercy, even when your knees started to buckle beneath you, you summoned up every last bit of determination you had.

Just as the dizziness was becoming too much, you finally spotted that house that stood out from the rest. You finally relaxed your body, legs like jelly as you approached the door and weakly rang the doorbell.

Your knees finally gave way, and you fell to their level in front of the door, silently praying that someone, anyone would be home.

However, even despite these circumstances, your heart still yearned for Kuroo above all else.

Inside, Kuroo’s mom started at her son in some frustration, watching him pick at his food with a fork.

“Right then, so are you going to tell me why you aren’t scarfing down your food faster than a competitive eater like you usually do, or will I have to interrogate you until you fess up and tell me what the hell is wrong?”

Kuroo didn’t know how to explain the situation to his mom, and even if he wanted to, his worries for you completely robbed him of any ability to find the right words.

He mumbled under his breath, continuing to push uneaten food around his plate.

“I really fucked up…” Those were the only words that reached his mom’s ears.

It wasn’t the usage of a swear word that concerned her, it was the fact that this was extremely uncharacteristic for someone as self-confident as him.

She opened her mouth to request him to elaborate, but she was interrupted by a very faint version of the doorbell’s ring.

A gut feeling suddenly rushed to Kuroo, making him jump up to get the door so fast that even his usually unwavering mom yelped in surprise.

As Kuroo fumbled to get the lock open with shaky hands, she thought to herself,

“It can’t be his dad… He’s still at work, so who’s come at this hour that’s made Kuroo so riled up?”

She stood from a distance, watching as the door swung open. She couldn’t see who it was from here, but she froze when she heard Kuroo’s breath immediately become panicked.

You could barely form words at this point, as Kuroo crouched down to behold what had happened to you with horror.

Your breathing was visibly laboured, you were on the verge of losing consciousness, and as he reached out a shaky hand to touch you… that skin of yours was so freezing cold that he retracted his hand immediately.

“Shit, shit, shit!” He repeatedly cursed in a whispery tone.

Just as had happened to you, all Kuroo’s worst fears were coming true as well.

He shook your shoulder in an attempt to make you more awake, and when it was apparent that this was doing nothing, he scooped you up in his arms with ease. He took a few steps into your house and shut the door immediately, so that the heating system could begin to warm you.

Gazing upon your weak, freezing body, he couldn’t hold back the tears that stung at the corners of his eyes.

“Fuck, baby… this is all my fault…” 

He ignored the obvious fact that this could be interpreted as a love confession. That was the last thing on his mind now. All that mattered in every inch of his instincts right now was doing everything in his power to fix what he had broken.

Kuroo’s mom still couldn’t see you from where she was standing, so judging from the baby talk, she assumed that Kuroo had found an injured stray cat.

Imagining that she would see a small pet, this finally made her rush forward to approach Kuroo.

When she saw that the ‘baby’ in question was a human, and a human she recognised from photos of Kuroo’s team, her heart dropped straight down.

Kuroo clutched you close to counter your condition with his body warmth, pleading with every ounce of his heart for you to stay.

���Don’t fall asleep, please… Damn it, I need you! Remember what I said earlier? I know you’re a fighter, so please don’t give up on me now…”

Although you were still somewhat awake, his words couldn’t fully reach your ears. All you felt was a strange sense of warmth, that made you feel safe for the first time that evening.

Meanwhile, his mom made a mad dash, practically turning the house upside down as she frantically searched for the warmest blankets they had.

All the while, she shouted in confusion repeatedly at the top of her lungs,

“Dear goodness! What in the name of the heavens could have happened to this poor child!?”

When she found a few blankets that she deemed satisfactory enough, she tossed them in Kuroo’s direction, and he caught them swiftly.

He made quick work of wrapping you up in a bundle tightly enough to be comforting, but also with a gentleness which ensured that the warmth would not suffocate you.

“Now what are you standing there like a statue for? Go to your room and tuck the kid into your bed to warm them up!”

Kuroo rarely agreed with his mom, but he had to admit, that sounded like a good idea.

‘Tender’ was about the last word that anyone would use to describe Kuroo. Yet, as he tucked you into bed, the tenderness of the way he snuggled you in reached your heart far before the actual sensations of warmth did.

He crouched down next to the bed, clutching your hand hopefully, praying that this would work and you wouldn’t have to be admitted to hospital.

Even though he hadn’t heard a word from you yet, he never stopped whispering encouraging sweet nothings into your ear.

As your skin grew warmer to the touch and your eyes opened to their regular degree of wideness, Kuroo sighed with a relief so strong that it was palpable.

“Thank goodness…”

You grew more aware of your surroundings. The room was entirely unfamiliar to you, but somehow, Kuroo’s presence made the atmosphere welcoming.

The first thing you did as you startled back to normal was look down at where yours and his bodies were joined by your hands. You then looked up at Kuroo’s face, which was tear-stained, but also had an ear-to-ear smile as he saw that your gaze was no longer empty.

It took your brain a few moments to recall what had happened and what was happening right now fully, but once everything registered, overwhelming emotions returned once again.

You felt mortified at the mere thought of your parents. You felt gratitude that you were still alive. You felt a sense of security with Kuroo by your side. You felt guilt because, in your view, you were still only bothering him.

You hyperventilated slightly, distressed tears streaming down your face. Kuroo retracted his hand, believing that he was the one who had done something wrong with you.

Rather, it was quite the opposite. All you wanted in that moment was him.

“Please, Kuroo, just… hug me.” You mumbled in a daze.

That was the only confirmation he needed, and he threw his arms around you. The comfort that his embrace provided validated everything that was going on in your head right now, and choked sobs escaped your throat.

Never once did Kuroo tease you for crying, and he didn’t utter a word about it either. You were of far more worth to him than acting cool ever was.

He knew that the best thing he could do in this situation was to simply be there. He rubbed your back soothingly as his grip on you grew tighter, listening to your cries patiently.

“I’m sorry for causing this. I love you.”

He knew it was crazy to confess his love for you at a time like this, but at this moment, he was letting his heart speak the words that his rationale couldn’t find.

He didn’t care if you loved him back or not, as long as he could make you at least a little bit happier.

His mouth widened slightly with surprise as you jerked up to look at him more directly.

“I love you too…”

The way you had made him hilariously blushing back at the gym had returned with full force. It made you smile, albeit small, for the first time since you were kicked out.

As much as you wanted to continue professing your love and eliciting these reactions from him, you were still too weak to do so. Once again, you shifted to talk about something else.

“You don’t have to be sorry, Kuroo… If anything, this was my fault.”

The moment you said these words, he grabbed your shoulders, the determination in his eyes burning into your soul.

“Hey, even if you don’t want me to take it, don’t you dare blame yourself for any of this. If I make you feel guilty, I’ll never forgive myself.”

His words were sharp, but you could tell that he was being dead serious. His sincerity washed away some of your worries, as you comfortably leaned on his shoulder.

“Well… Do you mind telling me what the ‘this’ we’re talking about is?”

Your safety had been very much threatened, so as much as he wanted to reveal more of his lovey-dovey side to you, he needed to address the elephant in the room.

Recounting your experience so soon brought back stress again as you relived the memories, but Kuroo was not letting go of you, as he gently encouraged the bravery he knew you had inside you.

“I told them… They cursed at me and told me to go to hell… Then they slapped me to the ground and kicked me out, that’s why I ran away here…”

As you detailed what your parents had done to you, you felt Kuroo stroke your hair faster. This was his way of trying to hold back the way his blood was boiling with anger and rage towards two people who he regarded as absolute monsters for daring to lay hands on you.

“How the fuck can anyone in their right mind do that to their child?” He seethed through clenched teeth.

You wanted revenge just as much as he did, but you didn’t want anger to consume him, not after he had gone out of his way for you.

A couple of ways to calm him down drifted through your head, and you somehow went with the most shocking of them.

You leaned up towards his face, and pecked him on the lips. However, you had intended this little kiss to land on his cheek.

When you moved back again and saw how over the moon yet bewildered Kuroo’s expression was, your cheeks turned red as you realised what you had actually done.

“Wait, I didn’t mean to–“

Before you could apologise, Kuroo pulled you in to kiss you on the lips softly and lovingly. It didn’t last for more than a couple of seconds, and even still, you felt that your very two souls had grown a connection to each other.

Kuroo’s thumb cupped your red cheek, and he smiled coyly as he continued to elaborate on what he felt towards you.

“You can stay here as long as you need. That way, I can stay by your side and make extra sure no one has the audacity to hurt you ever again.”

Your lips opened to protest, but Kuroo swiftly put a finger on them to hush you.

“I know what you’re going to say, but don’t. There’s nothing you can ever do to make me think even for a second that you’re a burden. You mean the world to me, and I’m not saying that to bullshit you– I truly mean every word.”

“Thank you…” That was all you could whisper back.

As the real extent of his love began to get through to you, it made your heart swell with a joy that finally made you feel at home.

The sound of blaring sirens approaching made both of your heads turn. The window in the room had been glazed over with the cold.

Nonetheless, the characteristic red, white, and blue blurry hues of police car sirens were very much visible as they rushed by, disappearing just as quickly.

Kuroo covered your ears to protect you from the piercing noise. You already knew what those sirens meant, and he knew that you knew, but he wasn’t going to spare any precaution to protect you from further harm.

“My mom’s been working behind the scenes, hasn’t she?” Kuroo chuckled.

He was right. She overheard Kuroo raging after you had confessed to being kicked out and abused, and she wasn’t having any of it. She phoned the police, and even though she didn’t know where you lived, she kept yelling at them until they agreed to go find them anyway.

When the sirens weren’t as loud anymore, Kuroo uncovered your ears, still hugging you close. You looked at him fondly, and he continued to snuggle your head protectively on his chest, peppering the top of your head with kisses now that he knew you loved him back.

With the background noise of the fading sirens, Kuroo whispered into your ear,

“I want you to know that you never have to stop loving… You’ll be safe here, and I promise that.”

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

So, I've been questioning myself, I thought I was pan/bi because my feelings toward other people were the same, like, "Everyone is pretty, but I feel no attraction for anyone so that prolly means am pan", I came out to my friends as pan, but talking to one of my friends I realized that maybe there's a difference between how I see people and how she sees people. (I also realized that I have never had a crush on someone at all)

Like, she sees someone attractive and thinks about them more sexually (?) Like, is not a joke, she feels like that. I thought those comments were jokes and I did them too! I feel weird, maybe I am in the ace spectrum, but I'm not sure because sometimes my body feels like, the need (idk?)

Sorry, I just needed to vent, I have none to talk about this, I feel like they don't understand

These definitely could be signs of being ace and/or aro. I've known more than a few people who thought they were pan first before realising they were ace/aro (reasonable deduction if you feel the same about every gender), or before figuring out they were ace thought that people were joking or exaggerating when talking about things like finding people hot or sexy.

Another common misconception is that aces aren't sexual at all, but actually aces can vary a lot in how sexual they are. Some aces do still have a sex drive, do feel arousal, do still masturbate, etc. So that alone doesn't exclude someone from identifying as ace or on the ace spectrum.

It sounds like this is something you've only just started to explore, so right now what would probably help you most is resources and being able to find other aces/aros talking about their experiences. For questioning if you're ace I always recommend The Asexuality Archive's website, especially the Ace 101 section. And Carnival of Aces , a monthly blogging for aces event by topic, is a great resource for finding aces talking directly about their experiences being asexual. But I'd also say anywhere you can find aces talking about being ace will probably be helpful for questioning.

If you want to explore aromanticism I'd recommend Arocalypse (a forum for aros) who also has a good FAQ, and Carnival of Aros (similar to Carnival of Aces, but for Aros.)

You can also check out the FAQ for this blog for some basics.

So this might feel like a lot all at once, don't feel like you have to read through all of this, or tackle everything all at once. Start with what's interesting or what you feel would be helpful. Also feel free to start with just ace stuff or just aro stuff if that feels easier for you.

Sometimes when you question things click into place and you know right away, other times it can be a process of exploring and figuring out what label fits you best. So take however long you need and go at whatever pace fits you best.

If you have more questions either now or at some point down the road, feel free to send in another ask.

All the best, Anon! Good luck!