#shazam rants

[theyluvlyss]

𝐅𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐀𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐲

《 ♡ 》 headcanon/rant

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 :

this is basically like my personal version of marvel's 'what if...?', I'm so geeked, dude. what if... freddy freeman was never given the powers of shazam? a take from @anon-2019, expanded on by me.

𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 :

none

𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞 :

non-specified - alternate universe

𝐓𝐖/𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 :

cussing - me and anon's endless thoughts - freddy being the best at everything he does because he's that guy fr🤷🏽‍♀️.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

𝐨𝐡 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝. . .

I want you to know how mad I am at the fact tumblr, once again, fucked me over and wouldn't let me edit your original ask as a draft so I had to delete it...

and as you can see, I screenshotted it all before doing so, so I deeply apologize for not being able to just answer the ask directly...

but omg I adore the creativity of this, holy shit dude !!!! personally, I've always resonated with freddy being on the more creative side of things (much like the other job ideas you listed), so flight attendant never crossed my mind ! on that note...

you can't tell me freddy wouldn't be absolutely charming and rizzing up all of his passengers and co-workers😙🤭. and he likes to make a show of doing the whole 'make sure you fasten your seat belts, and this is how to work your oxegyn masks' thing, you know what I'm talking about?

and handing out snacks would be this whole other ordeal, he'd be launching them bitches across the isle if he missed someone or would be settling small disputes with his horribly timed comedy. and babies? yeah, they don't cry on his flights, he's making sure of it, making faces and entertaining them (other attendants are constantly trying to work shifts with him because of this). he gives older kids tours of what he's allowed to show them, telling elderly folk they don't look a day over twenty, all of that shit.

and don't let him work first class !! he's absolutely clapping back at all of the snobby folk (it's a wonder he still has his job), and then on the occasions where they're the nice rich type, bro is popping wine bottles with them, indulging in their life stories, cracking an immense amount of jokes and making MASSIVE tips cuz freddy freeman is likeable in EVERY universe, including yours, idc, I said what I said...

plus, he's flying. he's doing what he always dreamed to do; he's in the sky, free and seeing all of the tiny people, places, and things below him. night, day, clear skies, rainy clouds, it doesn't matter. the shakiness of the turbulence and the sound of a jet engine can be drowned out with earbuds, he can kick back and relax after a long shift, it. does. not. matter. the downs are worth it because he's up.

freddy is flying, and he's happier than a mf doing it, and and and- *starts crying*.

I love him, so much, my soulmate🥹💙.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 :

@anon-2019

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 :

429 words

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 :

none :(

[moonlightcycle571]

Beating out the Hero Worship. The weapon? Being a child therapist / relationship Councelor to your colleagues (who may or may not be going through midlife crisis)

So I love the prompts where the Wisdom of Solomon makes Captain Marvel a defacto Therapist and Relationship Councelor (family, romantic or otherwise) to his very adult coworkers. It’s especially funny when they think Billy is an adult. Billy is very much a child. A child who is giving these sad adults free therapy. Honestly if being a child hero wasn’t enough, the amount of work he has to put into his colleagues well-being should in itself be child labour.

Black Canary, who has been the Therapist, is the only one who can relate to the struggle. Sometimes they even share notes. Well, Billy is, Dinah is here for the gossip. Bring in Barbara, and they got themselves a girls night.

It’s just so funny to me. Gets me every time.

Flash: Man, I can’t believe I’ll need to reschedule my wedding anniversary AGAIN all because of some new villain not getting the memo. Sometimes being the hero on your city takes a lot of you.

Marvel: don’t you have multiple speedsters in your city?

Flash: …

Marvel: you have multiple heroes in your corner who would gladly take over a case for you

Flash: Oh yeeeeaaah

Marvel: Don’t pull a Batman. Ask for help.

Bruce, somewhere in Gotham: something just happened

*or just*

Clark: and it’s just confusing, because Conner sees my parents as his parents making us siblings, but John sees him as his brother making him my son, but Lex sees him as HIS son. Kon even said that Lex was more of a dad to him! Lex!

Marvel: oh yeah, family is difficult. Imagine having two dads, but the hero one is the one who want nothing to do with you. At least Lex tries. When was the last time you had a casual conversation.

Clark: I- *pauses*

Marvel: or talked about hobbies.

Clark: I messed up.

Marvel: yeah yuh did

Bonus:

Billy: Dinah! I didn’t think girls night was for another week!

Dinah: … actually

Billy: … no

Dinah, sitting on the couch: so I need advice

Billy: 🥲

A few moments later

Billy: I’m sorry, GA did WHAT to Roy

Dinah: Exactly, so come Mia-

Some more time later

Green Arrow: why do I hear boss music?

Marvel, slamming open the door: Oooolllieee we need to talk 🙃

Oliver: I’m in danger

[puppetwoman17]

Honestly, I don’t know what I want the relationship with Cap and Billy to be.

Because I get why some people want them to be wholly separate beings. It just makes sense that Marvel is completely nonhuman. That he’s just magic given form.

But I don’t entirely like that conclusion. To me, it takes away the fact that billy is responsible for all those lives saved. That he is the one sacrificing his time and putting his life on the line. That he is the one getting all this trauma. Making them separate takes that all away for me.

But there’s also the issue that new52 dc doesn’t do that right either. When Cap and Billy ARE the same, Cap acts like a stupid kid, an overgrown child. I mean that’s not it completely. I have an entire separate issue with how New52 handles Billy’s personality and lore, but we can’t get into that rn or this rant will go on forever.

And the thing is DC DOES know how to handle Cap and Billy being the same(or not the same, but like Cap is Billy with…more. He’s Billy, but he’s also magic itself. Like a fusion of sorts. He has memories and some of his personality, but he doesn’t act like an idiot).

I mean, look at JL Unlimited. Despite Cap still acting somewhat childish, it never goes overboard. He’s even admired by his fellow Leaguers. Hell, BATMAN says the League needs him because of how sunny he is! And sure, while there’s some childishness in the YJ cartoon, it’s not cringy(at least to me, because when you see what they did to him in JL:Throne of Atlantis…)

There’s that one other movie with Superman and Batman that I can’t remember the name of, where some heroes are going after Superman for a reason I ALSO can’t remember. Cap is one of them, and he never once acts like a stupid kid. He, like those other heroes, doesn’t have the whole picture, and that’s why he’s attacking Supes.

Thwre is a way to have Cap and Billy be the same entity, have the same memories, but also be somewhat different. There is a way to make sure that Billy is shown to be responsible for the lives he saves. There is a way to give Cap respect in this universe because it has been done before. New52 needs to work on that or we’ll have this issue forever🙄.

It almost makes me glad we don’t have a Shazam/Captain Marvel tv show because gods know what they might do to him. I’m telling you, we have had the “child gets given tremendous responsibility and fucks up” schtik over and over and over for the past century and probably more. It’s been done. So many times.

Cap was a beloved hero in the 1940s and pre-52 BECAUSE he didn’t adhere to that. Because the writers made sure we knew he was capable of being responsible and a hard worker, and not an idiot, all while being like 10. And in recent years it has STILL been done.

It is possible. Just do it right!

[athosnl]

Bro I forgot like everything that I knew about shazam and dc, bro I'm COOKED like I watched the movies, for shazam and that's like all the information that know about it. Like bro. Like i remember a few things but damn. I need to refresh myself with the dc shit cause I've been so obsessed w jjk that like everything about my past intests are disappearing LORD adhd why must u do this to me

Nways Mexican, trans billy batson is real 🗣‼️

[killerof1983]

i am my sole audience and 1940 billy seeing fnaf beatbox cracks me up just a smidge

[weepingfishturtledragon]

This is a rant about "The Boys" comics parody version of Billy Batson/Shazam!

TW: Ranting, swearing, "The Boys" comics, and mention of S/A

You guys know about "The Boys" comics and how they did a side story of a fake Billy Batson where they made him a r*pist. WHAT THE FUCK!!!! You're telling me they made a kid into one of the most disgusting kinds of people in the world when he could have an incredibly unique perspective of the universe in "The Boys"!

I know the comics are meant to show the evil side of superheroes but that can be done in infinitely better ways! Like showing how Vought would react to a potentially powerful child supe, showing how the people closest to supes change in response to the powers, showing how complex figuring out new powers are (especially as a child), showing how power can turn the most innocent people in society evil, showing how others might seek to control or manipulate the child, showing how the child may unintentionally cause harm to themselves or others due to a lack of understanding of the consequences, showing him idealizing superheroes and finding out the truth in his adult form, showing ect…

Literally anything else would have been better but the writers decided they wanted a cheap shocking side story! If they do add Billy into the tv show then they better change the story or not add him at all because I will not stand for this bullshit!

[wolfsbanesparks]

*politely raises hand* Ayo do you have any thoughts on if fear toxin is even anything to worry about in the face of the Courage of Achilles?

Like Billy Batson would obviously have a terrible time if he’s exposed to it but would Captain Marvel, setting aside the fact he doesn’t need to breathe, be fine?

I don’t have a penny to give but I request thy thoughts.

Hey there!

So my answer here is two fold:

Technically there have been canon comics where Captain Marvel is affected by fear toxin (Shazam #12 i believe), bringing his greatest fears as Billy to the surface despite him being powered up. There have also been other non fear toxin induced events to a similar effect.

But to be perfectly honest, the comic I'm thinking of largely included him being affected by fear toxin as an excuse for a more experienced Batman to save the day and highlight his own inexperienced fighting style.

So as with most things, Cap's immunity to toxins (including fear toxin) varies based on what the writers want to happen in their story.

Personally, I think that he should be immune to standard fear toxin or at the very least be able to power through the hallucinations because of the courage of Achilles. I mean what's the point of having supernatural courage as a power if you can't overcome a chemical to induce fear? Especially if perfectly ordinary human Batman can do it with sheer willpower?

Mostly I think a lot of people have the tendency to downplay Cap's abilities while at the same time hyping up Batman and his rogues. If Cap's powers are actually understood and respected by the writers there really shouldn't be much to worry about with fear toxin (unless there's a a team up with a magical villain enhancing it or Billy is caught in it before he can transform. Then we might have an interesting story).

So that's my two cents on the subject! I'd love to other people chime in!

[im-not-buying-it-ether]

DC should have never un-twined the Batsons

I mean it, there is so much that could be done today in interesting character developments and analysis or just struggles and issues about their whole dynamic without jeopardizing the “Magic twins in their own found family that fight the forces of evil” thing

To prove my point, I’m going to rattle off ideas that could most definitely have been explored in DC’s “If it’s gritty it’s good” writing mentality and its love for drama

As it goes, their story started on the simple note of the whole switched at birth story, with Mary swapped with another couples dead daughter by said couples nurse to neither family’s knowledge.

That alone is gold, it leaves the Batson family mourning a child while (depending on the canon) doing their best to be active and loving parents to the child they do have. And it doesn’t have to just be the parents, my own brother has a sister that died before he could remember her at all (we are half siblings and I never knew her) and he still makes a yearly trip to her grave to clean it up and keep the grass from covering it. Billy could have very well have mourned too and have had a hang up about being the twin that lived when it seemed like his sister died shortly after birth.

Then, when Nurse Primm does tell Billy the truth in her dying days, Billy could have this whole relief at having his sister or having a sister. It would also open up this whole bag of worms with Mary, because as much as she loves her brother and spending time with him it comes with the revelation that her parents weren’t her parents and her nurse did a horrible thing to their biological parents.

There’s the fact that the Batsons are dead and they died thinking she was gone, she never got the chance to meet them, all she has is her brother who did know them. And then comes the Bromfields, should she tell them or not? She isn’t their daughter, not even legally since she was switched without their knowledge. She’s known them as her parents her whole life up until that point, she might not want to tell them and would have to keep her real relationship to Billy secret and say they’re just friends when that’s her literal twin.

It’s only when they are powered up, turned into Captain and Mary Marvel, that they can even publicly call the other a sibling because that’s their alternate identities. That magic is something they can share as a family, they are explicitly called the Marvel Family with Freddy and Uncle Dudley and the other Lieutenant Marvels who are also like family to them to a degree.

There is a great potential for their power and magic as an allegory for found family, as it’s been used previously in the newer comics. They could have Mary agonizing over knowing she’s not the Bromfields real daughter, they could have them accept her any way and want to bring Billy in too despite his well known independence even at a young age, it could be a real angsty chapter in Mary’s life if her parents didn’t accept her after knowing at the reveal. It could be a reveal! Mary could be hiding far more than her superheroics from her parents!

And with Billy he could still mourn, with as big as his heart has always been, and remember the daughter Mary was swapped with. He could still visit her grave, probably next to his parents’ with the name they gave her (because they’ll insist you name the child you lost to help mourn them) and feel bad for both couples. His parents for grieving someone else’s kid and holding that sadness until their deaths and the Bromfields for not even knowing their kid is buried by another family with a name they didn’t choose.

Making Mary the motherly older sibling of a foster home didn’t add anything, it took her out of the family adventures by having her go off to college quickly too. With Mary and Billy still being twins there is a different kind of sibling relationship there and the possibility for drama that people could eat up!

Idk if it’s just me who’d like to see these things focused on or the fun of these twins being magical siblings who love eachother despite their massed up origins the more you think about them but I want to see it

[shzmluvrs]

I just saw The Flash and holy shit...

For those of you who have seen it TALK TO ME PLZ I NEED TO RELEASE THE DC FANGIRL ENERY!!! I won't spoil it here, tho, ofc, in courtesy of those who have yet to watch it. But to any/all of you who happen to see this, just know that I'm seriously debating adding young/18 year old Barry Allen (and maybe current/regular Barry, I haven't decided) to the master list because, idk...

As much as I dislike Ezra Miller, they ate down like... I hate to say it, but their portrayal of the character is really doing it for me, so... separating the art from the artist/depictor. . .

New Crush: Acquired😼

~ Star✨️

[amelia-mariee]

how much time is supposed to pass before you bring up your various obsessions to your roommates you just met

[brainless-girl-robot-altacc]

What even was the black Adam movie btw?? (It's all just a rant lol)

Watching the Shazam movie got me interested in the animated and comic versions so I had a small idea of who he was going in, and I genuinely thought that there was at least going to be a reference to him but even when they did have a cameo... IT WAS SUPERMAN???????? How did they think they could follow up on that??? His arch nemesis is a teenager ( I guess it's technically better than how old he was before being adapted to film, but ,I mean seriously????) at least the animated movies are still a vibe? Why did they adapt this instead of an actual superhero? I mean I guess villain prequel movies can work but if you aren't going to depict them as an outright threat then why adapt a character who is cartoonishly evil??

[moonlightcycle571]

More of Good Cook Billy. The gods probably bag him for food offerings. It’s how he got so good in the first place. It started small, but then found out the Rock of Eternity has a kitchen (it can canonically has a cafe, having a kitchen is not far fetched).

Little kid with a fixation on magic and wants to learn essential life skills hopped on the chance to learn with the help of the Rocks Books and Solomon (the king may not know how to cook, but he has the theoretical knowledge). Once last lives gets unlocked, he gets an encyclopaedia of different cuisines, most being no longer made through out the ages and forgotten.

He starts giving his Patrons offerings. Then it gets good so the gods ask for more (while also giving him extra favours cause why not).

But then it gets too good. Different Gods from different Pantheons ask for these offerings, to the point that his food becomes a coveted delicacy among the deities.

At some point, Caps cooking gets so good, he manages to win over a fae court by making them a fucking tart.

Whenever he makes pies, nearby people will smell it like in one of those cartoons where the scent literally caries them to it (bro works on looney toones logic).

When a villain, say Arson Fiend, smashes a cake that Marvel has been working on for hours (it was supposed to be a peace cake for the doigtent gods to share so that he can have some peace and quiet), many deities from many pantheons make it their personal mission to drive this me to insanity

[puppetwoman17]

Day 5839272928572028474 of ignoring New52 C.C. and Marilyn.

The Batsons were GOOD parents. GREAT parents. And even greater partners to each other. C.C. would legit murder a man for his wife and kids, and Marilyn loves her husband and her babies more than anything. They left Billy with Ebenezer because he needed to catch up on his studies and wanted to trust that he would be taken care of.

People might say that just looking at Ebenezer would’ve told them he was evil, but that just rubs me the wrong way. Clarence and Ebenezer were brothers! Half brothers, but brothers nonetheless(E hates C.C. but how could he have known?)

I don’t know how any of this was translated to the awful terrible trash New52 versions of themselves. Like why do that? Is it to prop up the Vasquez couple? Cause that’s just cheap. They should be good on their own.

Also just love that DC took out the ghost-like shadow figure that led Billy to the train in the first place. They know it was C.C. trying to help his son 🙄.

Congrats tho, DC. You are the first corp that has ever made me wish for an abusive adult character back. Everything would’ve been so much easier if they just kept Ebenezer. He has more than enough shitty fam story beats, sowed the seeds of betrayal, and basically started Billy on his path of becoming independent and showing Shazam he was capable of bearing the weight of Eternity.

But nOoOoOo, we got criminal C.C., not the fun kind mind you, and abusive, selfish Marilyn.

[athosnl]

lil billy rant cause my sister @corvidae-corvus got me into shazam recently cause of the 2019 movie! Like a couple months ago AND ALL THIS TIME IVE BEEN LIKE PAOAOAOO CAUSE HES SO SILLY, THAT'S MY GOOBER. HE MAKES ME JUMP UP AND DOWN!! HES SO SILLAYYY I JUST LOVE HIM AND I NEED MORE CONTENT OF HIM OAOAOAOA!! I CAN FINALLY RANT ABOUT HIM WAAAAA WAAAA AND LIKE HEADCANONS, THE FIRST TIME I WATCHED THEE MOVIE I WAS LIKE "that's a trans boy" HES SO TRANSS HES TRANS CAUSE IM TRANS IDCC WAAA HES SOOSOSOSOS RAHHH IM FREAKING OUT

ME RN IM SCREAMING AND RIPPING MY HAIR OUT /MEGA POS

[gangst3rswife]

I'm supposed to be sleeping by now but no. I'm scrolling through Tumblr thinking about Freddy Freeman and Billy Batson, and I'm just looking for content and gifs and rants.

I love them sm I didn't even realize.

[weepingfishturtledragon]

TW: Me ranting

You know what's the most infuriating thing that Shazam the wizard did? He didn't teach Billy anything about magic!!! Like he's a wizard that chooses someone with no prior knowledge of anything magical to be the protector of the Rock of Eternity, the source of all magic in existence, and doesn't teach him anything! Not even about different types of magic, magical creatures, or special places and as a result Captain Marvel barely does anything with magic, he relies on his other abilities. This is why people compare him to Superman all the time, if they just developed his skills beyond his super strength, durability, and flying people would separate them. "But it would make Captain Marvel too OP ☹️" first off a lot of characters are already over powered in the DC universe and secondly this would mean we could focus more on Billy's life being a child that's homeless/in a big foster family and how that effects his hero life!