#sexy improv time yall

[pastelwitchybabygirl]

Sex is so funny to me. Like, you find someone who you really like (or just find attractive) you start touching each other, all while just making various noises, excreting various fluids, and playing make believe in what's essentially a fucked up improv session and then after you make sure the other person didn't improv too hard and make them hydrate.

[froschli96]

you know, i always find it really funny when dudebros complain about syndicate and odyssey being too "jokey" or not "taking its characters seriously" or whatever…

like, did y'all collectively sleep through "it's-a me, mario!", "i meant besides vaginas", ezio inventing the latte, bartolomeo's... just... *gestures vaguely* entire character, etc?

like, it's fine to have preferences of course, i myself prefer a more serious and grounded tone, but these are usually the same people who tout the ezio trilogy as "peak assassin's creed", call ac1 a glorified tech demo and hate on connor for being "too serious and boring", like? make it make sense!

[chatisthisfr]

You're sexy when you're angry-John Bender

John bender x fem!reader

lime

(Part two)

summary: you were just a mere class clown but you never did something so bad to get you in Saturday detention. that was until your enemy in class blamed one of Benders actions on you, the action being spilling her coffee on all her electronics while the teacher was in the restroom, making them unusable. you now weren't too fond of bender. for now

this is definitely not gonna be the same as the movie. i dont remember the lines very well so ima improve.

your pov

I can't believe e/n blamed me for one of stupid benders pranks. Your parents were beyond pissed. you'd never gotten detention before you never dreamed of getting Saturday detention. I walk in the doors of this place. this is hell. who would make someone go to school on saturday. this is so messed up. I soon walked to the library with the other students. 4 others are sitting in the room. I recognize claire and andy but not the other 2. one looked like she just woke up from getting beat and the other one was a boy. who looked like a huge dork. "Aw y/n l/n. right on time. surprising for a prankster and delinquent" I heard vernon say. "I told you, it wasn't my fa-""I don't want to hear it ms. l/n. We already discussed this. you are guilty." jeez i hate this guy. I think to myself and i go to sit in a desk in the very back. I look down and start picking at my short nails. "Bender! you are late" vernon yells. Oh you gotta be kidding me. I have to be in this place for 8 hours with this piece of shit, bender. "do you actually think i give 2 shits if i'm on time to this" he says casually walking to the desk infront of me. "That's another detention for you sir." "whatever" bender rolls his eyes. " You know the rules. if you don't they're on the board. Don't make me give you any more detention after this. i don't wanna have to see your faces any more then i already have to." vernon leaves the room and props the door open. "Damn this sucks" I whisper "It's your fault you spilt coffee all over our english teachers electronics." he smirks, slyly, knowing damn well that he was the one who did that. "Oh shut up bender, you know you did that. It's you and stupid e/n's fault" "what does that girl have against you anyway. wait. nevermind. i don't care." he smirks and turns around facing away from me. "what a dick." I mumble under my breath "i heard that and yes i do have a nice dick. I bet you wanna see it, don't you." "John just leave the poor girl alone. She does not want to see your dick." I see claire from a few desks infront of us speak. "Huh oh are you the one who wants to see it." Bender replys "Bender shut the hell up." Andy says, flipping him off. "Aren't you the one who told me to not use profanity last time we were all in here." He smirks childishly. "Wait yall were all in detention together before?" i ask. i then here the nerd boy speak up. "We all had our different reasons for being in detention and we had to right a letter for an apology. Turns out he didnt like our letter and he thought we were talking back so he said we had to come back for another this saturday. I'm brian by the way" "Alright thanks dork." I say as i look away from him "aNyway as i was saying. Don't be a hypocrite sporto" Bender says smirking at andy. "Bender do you do anything but annoy people?" I ask and roll my eyes "Why yes im very good at finge-" "What's with all the talking! Does no one know the rules." vernon yells coming into the room. "It was y/n sir" bender says with a smirk. "What the hell dude. you were the one talking." i reply. "actually you guys were both talking." Brian says matter of factly "shuddup dude." I send brian a glare "If i hear talking again, you all get another detention." Vernon was walking back and forth from the desks . Fun fact: i had gotten pretty good at pit-pocketing. So i grabbed his keys that would let him into the library if the door closed. i smirk and saw him leave "perfect" I say. "what did you do" claire says in a scared tone. She's in my classes so she's seen me pull my small pranks. "oh nothing. just got a little toy from vermin" i smirk showing claire the keys. before he can notice the keys are gone, i quickly get up and shut the door. quietly. thought, even though he's gonna see at some point. "i didn't know you got yourself into trouble like that." Bender says. "That's because our english teacher likes me and gives me good grades. and that's the only class we have together." I reply "Yeah i have her in all my classes. she does some wild stuff sometimes." claire says "How wild" Bender smirks

I have to make a part 2 sorry lol

[honeylikesyanderes]

1k likes + 100 followers special!

nsfw alphabet- karma elios

hi yall! thanks for 1k!

you know the drill: mdni please. 18+ only

enjoy!!

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

karma is usually really gentle and soft after sex. he's very big on aftercare and he will get/do anything to make you feel better, especially if it was particularly kinky sex. he also likes to talk for a little bit while he cleans you up, in case you have any critiques on anything that occured.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

karma loves his eyes (they're a darkish shade of blue-grey) and they're quite rare

and he loves his darling's thighs and legs.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

karma likes to cum on his darling's face and body rather than inside them. he once called it 'copyrighting' his darling.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

if darling pulls his hair while stimulating him, he will cum immediately. he would never tell you that tho

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

karma has a fair amount of experience with sex; and he was celibate for a bit before meeting his darling, but during that time, he read a lot of books and materials so he could improve.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

the lotus 🤌🏽

he likes the intimacy it can provide

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

karma is more serious when it comes to sex but he will smile and giggle every once in a while to keep both of you comfortable.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

karma is very well groomed since he's not a fan of body hair on himself. the curtains do match the drapes but its a bit more curly down there.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

karma tries to be super romantic and savour every moment of sex with his darling. he doesn't go too fast (unless its a quickie), and he prefers to take his time to really really pleasure you.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

when karma jerks off, he likes to avoid touching his tip until the end. it delays his orgasm for a bit and when he eventually does cum, it feels so much better.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

karma is lowkey into petplay but will never admit it unless you bring it up.

he's a fan of giving darling multiple orgasms (orgasm control), overstimulation and he also likes to be milked 👀

loves it when you beg tho.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

at home in bed and occasionally on his private jet.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

anything that shows darling's thighs and legs. from tight jeans to shorts to short outfits; it really gets karma going.

he also likes when you ask him to fuck you; he finds it sexy that you're confident enough to tell him that you want him.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

threesome with anyone that isnt bhodi.

anything that has to do with piss or vomit

anything that can seriously harm darling.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

karma loves giving head. and he's so fucking good at it too. just tell him how you like it and he'll deliver. and if you don't know how you like it? he'll try different motions and sensations on you till you find the one that suits you best.

he's not super big on recieving tho (because of his piercings), but occasionally when he takes them out, he'll let you go down on him.

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

it honestly depends on darling's preferences but karma usually prefers to take his time and go slow. he loves to live in the moment with you and really pleasure you.

he's more into love making than actual fucking.

although he does enjoy a good rough and fast fuck occasionally

slow and rough fucking is reserved for when you've been exhibiting bad behaviour.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

karma isnt a really big fan of quickies but when he's busy with work (usually at the beginning and ending of the year); you guys will have a lot more quickies than proper sex. mostly because he wants to keep you satisfied but also because he wants to decompress from all the stress.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

karma likes to experiment on occasion but he's very open minded and willing to try anything that darling brings up. he doesn't like surprises tho, so anything he or darling wants to try must be thoroughly discussed beforehand.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

karma doesn't have a lot of sex or masturbate often so he lasts about 2 slow and sensual rounds but he can go 3 rounds if its just quickies.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

karma owns toys for both him and his darling. most of them are for darling (because he enjoys seeing them pleasured) but a few are for darling to use on him on occasion.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

karma absolutely loves to tease and will do it for as long as he can (usually until your begging and whimpering for him to stop teasing and let you cum)

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

karma is fairly loud. he's not the loudest but he does moan quietly. he does let out a very loud groan when he bottoms out tho.

he loves when his darling is vocal tho. he wants to make you moan, scream, cry and beg for him. he loves your sounds.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

karma has had a threesome with bhodi and another girl in the past. it was good fun but both him and bhodi decided that they wouldn't repeat it unless the person involved was someone that they were both emotionally involved with.

the girl aforementioned signed an nda tho, so she's not allowed to talk about it.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

cough.

i forgot to mention but karma has a jacob's ladder. he used to have a prince albert but he took it out after a bit.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

on a scale of 1-10, he's at about 4. his sex drive is pretty low, but if darling needs some servicing or has a high libido, then he doesn't mind putting out.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

karma will never fall asleep first. he'll stay up until darling falls asleep, then he does some thinking by himself before eventually falling asleep.

on average it takes him 45 minutes to an hour to fall asleep.

(if you would like to read more about karma, check out the masterlist!)

[thenixkat]

the millennium (i can't spell that word) project is literally a eugenics program that the Oans want to run on Earth to evolve/improve humans

the heroes are for it b/c they respect the authority of the oans for some fucking reason

also choosing 10 people as the starting breeders for yer eugenics program is uh… a rather small number

like really fucking small for 'advancing' the whole species

and they don't even guarantee that the whole 10 people they chose are alive and all have corporeal bodies by the time the New Guardians start

also, they didn't ask the people of Earth first if humanity would like to be groomed into future space police

they don't even pick people who are all open to the idea of being part of a eugenics breeding program, they're just picking fuckers based on their genes. And they very much arent explaining it as a eugenics program when it is when you look at the New Guardian's mission statement

but the heroes are cool with this. Cool with the idea of Earth becoming a future home of the Guardians b/c the space police are on the side of the good guys so their backers must be ok too

yeah, the Oans aren't telling people that the advancement of the human race means a fucking eugenics program which is slightly better than fuckers knowing. Also, fuckers are using scare tactics to get the folks they want in the breeding program who aren't interested in 'advancing the human race'

ALso love how racist DC is about Asians in its comics at all times. Just constantly especially in the 80s. And the 60s. And in 1999...

…i don't believe that the governments of Earth recognize the authority of the Green Lantern Corps as, like, a legitimate law enforcement agency from space. Pretty sure everyone just thinks about them as superheroes ie costumed vigilantes but ok

heheheeh. Ted thinks Lt Fisher who's been blackmailing him is with the Manhunters blackmailing superheroes in general and came to his office to beat his ass

Ted even if Lt Fisher isn't a Manhunter you should still beat his ass for blackmailing you.

I wanna see more of Ted beating the shit out of cops. It's wonderful, he should get to do it more often

Ted backhands Lt Fisher almost across the damn room. I love it. Let Ted fight more cops!

Yes, Ted, you should have just beat Lt Fisher's ass and told him to go fuck himself the first time he tried to blackmail you. If he's gonna do a criminal act to force you to do dirty work for the police, there's nothing stopping you from beating his ass like any other criminal

also, some of this is plot stuff relevant to Ted's solo run and referenced in it, I just don't like doing supplemental reading for a story. B/c if it was important it would have been included in the main story

so normal human-looking lady and the smurf are both oans just different sexes. b/c we couldn't have sexy smurf ladies i guess

Why did the Oans pick an explicitly racist White South African for their eugenics program to 'advance the human race'?

they also picked a gay man for their eugenics breeding program. I guess they're hoping he runs into transdudes who want to be bred?

This eugenics program is a bit slapdash and I can see all the reasons it failed

i guess that's what happens when yer sexes have been living apart for billions of years and they likely use machines to breed

they also picked a man for their eugenics program who has a wife and kids, and told him to leave his family to join their project…

if yall want him for his genes and shit... he could fuck his wife? and make more kids?

[applejongho]

2022 was the first year I considered myself an actual content creator and has also been my first full year of gif making so I thought it would be fun to compile some of the giffing highlights of the year. thanks jazzy @woosansang​ for tagging me in this event! In combing through all of my gifs I found a lot of growth and improvement in my own gif making skills (coloring is so much better (!!!!!!!), sharpening is so much better) which is something I'm really proud of because it was always something I beat myself up for. There is always room for improvement but that doesn't negate where I am now!

Besides my improvement as a gif maker, here are some highlights of the content:

the first eight months of the year belonged completely to jongho. I was at peace with the world. everything was fine. and then, everything changed when the dude with the cane attacked. I now have another bias. thanks and fuck you hongjoong

there were always spooky posts. no matter the time of year.

this was the year I started and completed my AUteez series, where I match ateez with an alternate universe that fits them. This series is a testament to my coloring skills and shows off my imagination. One of my favorite things I've done, ever

my 2MVapplejh series, where I color match two music videos that (usually) have similar elements in them. I also really like this series too but I don’t work on it that often

no pressure tagging! the instructions are simple, post links to both your most popular and your favourite sets for each month in 2022. I also included special mentions every month and tracked my hongjoong descent by comparing the amount of posts I made of him vs jongho. ha.

@2h0gi @hwanswerland​ @sanhwaiting @sanchelinz @jjongho @jonghho @chwejongho @jeong-yunhoes @mingified @cruellajoong @xuseokgyu @hwichanis​ 

JANUARY

most popular: choi john of ateez

favorite: pirate king jongho

special mention: jongho throws it back (an icon)

total posts made: 12 (all jongho)

FEBRUARY

most popular: san in a black hat

favorite: jongho with a choker

special mention: atz dont stop x skz all in

total posts made: 9 (6 are jongho)

MARCH

most popular: wonderland mingi

favorite: jongho is so sexy w apples

special mention: apple jongho made on my birthday!

total posts made: 15 (5 are jongho, I opened gif requests during this time)

APRIL

most popular: jongho in a tight black suit

favorite: rhythm ta jjong (and my sharpening used to be so bad omg)

special mention: seungmin of skz side effects (and the sharpening is so good????? idk how I did it)

total posts made: 6 (5 are jongho)

MAY

most popular: rocky jongho

favorite: answer san and the coloring is great and for what

special mention: jjong got a haircut and I love how it looks v much

total posts made: 7 (6 are jongho)

JUNE

most popular: pink hair sunglasses san

favorite: JONGHO WEARING A T SHIRT

special mention: I just think he is so hot

total posts made: 19 (12 are jongho)

JULY

enter: hongjoong with a cane

most popular: wake up world

favorite: biker jongho

special mention: first cane appearance and the inspiration challenge

total posts made: 25 (14 are jongho)

AUGUST

most popular: ot8 intro with sunmi

favorite: hongjoong is so hot

special mention: cane posting

total posts made: 22 (10 are jongho, 3 are hongjoong)

SEPTEMBER

most popular: hometown pride, san

favorite: hongjoong coughing up (fake) blood

special mention: one gif of hongjoong taking off his jacket and the tl went bananas

total posts made: 11 (4 are jongho, 3 are hongjoong)

JJONGTOBER

most popular: ateez anniversary post

favorite: jongho according to the tags, birthday post

special mention: this yunho is crazy

total posts made: 13 (4 are jongho, 2 are hongjoong)

HONGVEMBER

most popular: jongho picks up hongjoong (top post of the yr!)

favorite: hongjoong cane birthday set

special mention: jongho sits in a chair and yall go insane. im yall

total posts made: 7 (1 is jongho, 2 are hongjoong)

DECEMBER

most popular: hongjoong in halazia

favorite: spooky jjong and rhythm ta

special mention: my first post using vapoursynth!

total posts made: 21 (4 are jongho....................... 12 are hongjoong)

if you’ve made it this far... 2022 was really bad for me (in terms of personal life) but ateez helped me out tremendously by keeping me entertained. I hope 2023 will be better for me and I’ll have a chance to grow in my self-expression, confidence, and, well,,,, ateez content creating lol. I already know there will be at least one big event – I’m going to hit 1k followers!

See y’all in 2023!

[butch-reidentified]

@kimberly-wexler this is literally a core belief of radical feminism you goddamn dildo 💀 here's an intro to radical feminism made specifically for TRAs to clear up misconceptions and fight disinformation. Read #3 if you read nothing else here.

we ARE the masculine and gnc women. we have ALWAYS said that women are not inherently feminine and that our oppression is because we are women, not feminine, and femininity is literally a patriarchal tool used to ENFORCE female oppression, and hatred of gender nonconformity is always a product of misogyny (feminine men viewed as "degrading" themselves by being "like women," and uppity women stepping out of line "trying to be like men" are both just misogyny). that's it. that's the ideology.

"the call is coming from inside the house," no the fuck it's not lmfao. i literally thought this was a radfem post til i saw the reblog bc this *is* radical feminism.

now pay attention to what gender fans have to say about femininity and womanhood - specifically how womanhood and femininity are one and the same, and that being feminine is what makes a person a woman. this type of content was everywhere in every single trans space I was ever part of:

pressuring gnc women to transition, first of all, is not a "terf" lie like yall insist. it's happened to every single butch i know including myself. look how many people on this one tiktok are telling a masc lesbian she must be a straight man and acting like this is progressive.

the way this straight up defines womanhood as a performance involving makeup and trendy clothes and sexy dancing and SEXY MOVEMENT?? womanhood is lipstick and making sure you swing your hips when you walk so every man falls to his knees drooling behind you... right? bro YOUR movement is the sexist one and it is literally right in front of you all the time. wake up! open your eyes! read what actual radfems write about womanhood vs what trans women write about womanhood:

countless trans women think womanhood and sexy panties are synonymous, as we see SO often in content like this. you have to be a top tier schmuck to believe men masturbating in their sisters' lingerie is harmless "gender euphoria" and not at all a perverted, deeply violating fetish.

women = shaved legs, of course. lesbians have never been oppressed. rape is okay if the woman doesn't share your ideology (this one can be seen both above and below this paragraph!).

more sexually violent misogyny

^ this is just one masterpost of countless. go ahead and search "tra receipts" on here and go down the rabbit hole.

meanwhile:

"terfs have strict criteria for who gets to be a woman! only cishet white conventionally attractive feminine women are women to terfs!" debunked

the radfem definition of woman and part 2

and the best part?

we don't even talk about trans people the way you talk about us.

ex. 1

ex. 2

as long as you aren't one of the violently misogynistic/homophobic types pictured above, we tend to only wish you well. we support more and improved research into dysphoria, as well as improved, more objective, larger, and longer term studies on medical transition, better and more accessible mental health care, and ensuring that informed consent is genuinely 100% informed - things that only serve to help keep transitioning people safe. we want you to heal, to be happy, and to find peace with yourself inside and out.

there is literally SO many more screenshots and links I could put in all these sections. I make posts like this all the time, and you usually block me without a word. but I'm not here in bad faith. never have been, never will be. I would genuinely love to know how you (any of you!) react to the things I've included here and what your rebuttals are. I promise to be very polite and listen quietly if you just take the time to satisfy that curiosity for me before blocking me 🙏

Some of you straight up hate masculine women and gnc women and I wish you'd just say that with your full chest instead of pretending women are oppressed for being feminine when in reality feminine behavior is expected and women are policed by men and each other if they don't present femininely enough. Femininity is looked down upon esp in men but that's bc it's associated and tied to women. Not bc women are oppressed for being feminine

[wwomandc]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 18+

Warnings: smut, cursing, blood

Storyline: you are the new girl, Diana takes a liking to you which makes you realize that you like girls.

It all felt like a blur, a shit show at most. I started as a normal boring girl in New York and now im a-

-superhero? I couldn’t believe my eyes as I walked into Bruce Wayne’s mansion.

“Holy shit, all this and you can’t give to charity?” I tease Bruce, but he hits me with a cold glare, “okay…” I try to ease the moment but I guess I had ruined it. “So…how much of us are there?”.

“You,Barry,victor,Clark, Arthur, and Diana.” Bruce says looking away from me and looking at something on his desk. “So..there’s only two girls in the team?”.

“I told you before we are recruiting,and this isn’t a woman’s justice league? Mkay? This is justice league for all” Bruce says, with a bit of attitude. I only nod, not wanting to bother.

My jaw basically dropped to my ass the moment I saw her.

Perfect body, perfect face, perfect everything! And not to mention her confidence, it’s like it radiated from far away!. She looked directly at me then to Bruce “the new one?” She scoffs, and my heart dropped.

She walked towards me, she was taller than me and I didn’t understand how her boobs didn’t hurt being held up by that medal corset, she looked like a goddess.

Holding my chin up making me look up at her she speaks “what’s your name?” She says in her low sexy tone. “U-uh… I-…” I struggle to speak looking into her brown sullen eyes.

“Speak up” she said, pulling me out of my trance “(name) ma’am” it was almost like I could spot her cheeks become a rosy pink, but it was to faded to see much of it.

“Names Diana. Diana prince” she says and I’m left speak-less as she drops my chin and walks away. “What’s got you all blushed up (name)?” Flash also known as Barry Allen speaks I shoot him a mean stare.

Days later

“Im going to take the fattest nap ever!” Barry shouted, the mission had finally ended and everybody was tired, “me too god damn” Arthur yawns as he stretches, we all make our way out of the batship or whatever it was called.

“Hey (name)” Diana steps closer to me “y-yes?” It’s like her eyes allure me in, it was the first time I ever saw her more casual or speak normal to me “wanna go out for a drink?”.

“U-uh…I’d love too!” I say, Diana smiles but it’s faint “when?” I say, “now”, I’m shocked “what do you mean now?”.

She picks me up “oh shit” I say looking down at the floor as I’m levitated up higher and higher. Diana prince was flying me to a bar?!.

One thing led to another

And I’m pinned onto my bed hickies all over my neck, moaning into her mouth “f-fuck please…y-yes ma’am” I struggle to speak but put an effort into it.

Her knee is in between my legs and she’s practically teasing me and rubbing the middle.

She had changed into her normal wear, not her armor and she was still beautiful as ever, I kiss her back playing with her hair, “your beautiful” I whisper as she kisses me.

“You’re mine” Diana whispers into my ear, putting her hands into my underwear.

She shoves both fingers in slowly making sure I take it all in slowly “d-deeper” I mumble and so she does, shoving them fully in going in and out “good little princess” she whispers into my ear nibbling on it.

I melted at her touch, moaning when she clenches her fingers “you fucking whore, so needy baby? You wanna cum?” I gasp “yes ma’am please…” I say pleading to her.

Finally letting me cum I release on her fingers and she pulls out, sucking on the fingers, “I’m not done with you yet.”

(Hope yall share some love!, this is my first smut!, there’s room for improvement!)

[brothalynchhung]

2023 overview

im such a loyal person man LMAOOO i still specfically come back here to do this lool anyways this year was fucking insane like FUCKING insane and long as hell... grniguehrsi

i think i started the year a lil depressed cuz i was working that fuckass job

lets seee

i think jan 2023 was nothing but me suffering through that fuck ass job, gyming, etc.,

that old apt ahahah i mean tbh it was nice but too big and TOO SECLUDED omg

actually the way i spent a whole year so isolated from society was crazy what the fawk

i dont even think i got much out of it like self improvement wise

maybe japanese? guitar? but that came only at the end

i guess playing ps5... lol -_-

i gained so much weight cuz of depression and that stressful ass job

the way i think majority of that weight was just the AMOUNT OF CORTISOL BUILD UP I HAD

anyways jan was whatever

then i went to umrah in feb which was stressful cuz the amount of ppl and the BUGS man god

this whole time i thought my prayers werent answers but they were tbh i had a good year even if there was struggles

i didnt get gl yet but APPARENTLY thats too much to ask for

whatever

then barcelona lMAOOO which was okay!! i think i would have obv enjoyed it more if i wasnt there for work but i mean still it was just another european city

my spanish was ass

i was too paranoid about someone jacking my phone lol

survived tho

ate some GOOD ASS FOOD. omg best food ever

and the sangriaasss omg

it was worth it being the canon event of me getting fired LMAO

hoenstly was a lil ugly ass bitch that co founder was fuck him fr

loser highkey

anywho

so spain barcelona and saudi 2 countries down within the first 3months of the year

tbh basically up until june majority of my year was this stupid ass job travelling here and there complaining about that ugly ass bitch

omg what a shaytan that man was holyshit and not like a powerful shaytan more like a whiny weak insecure life sucking pitiful pathetic piece of shit shaytan the one that lowers the energies of everything around it

pitiful ass human fr im so happy that shit got out of my life

that was the best thing to happen to me this year like not exclusively him but the whole job too LOL

like thanks for the pay and travel finessed the fuck out all tbh BYE

chaper closed thank god

and whats crazy is that the SECOND after that meeting i forgot about it all lMFAOOOO LIKE I WAS READYY

march was cool i finally got to go back to america

actually march lowkey changed my life

texas was so much fun omg i miss america man americans are nice just h8 their govt

sxsw!!! DUDE ive always wanted to go and GOT TO ALL under someone elses coin LMFAOOOOOO

met cool ppl ig, saw cool things, film and tv industry - coool cool cool

and i didnt rlly have to do shit there LMAO

anyways then went to houston where nadas friend HELD IT DOWNNNNN

like finally omg i got to get hiiii FINALLY

RODEO HIGH VEGAN SOUL FOOD HIGH

THE FOOD WAS SO GOOD THE RECORD SHOPPING WAS SEXY

so good

then i came back and i was mad depressed cuz i should be out there working and learning from ppl who like the shit as me not stuck out the middle of FUCK ASS NOWHERE DOING NOTHING

which yeah i think that like lit the fire out of my ass about how much i hated the job and place and cuz ad was like quarantine istg

thennn hmm april..OH YEAH JAPAN

BASICALLY ONCE I GOT BACK IT WAS HELL DEALING WITH THAT FUCK ASS JOB CUZ OF THE STUPID ASS.

i dont even remember waht the bullshit ass term is

uhhh i forget lMAOOO that stupid bullshit where i was PERFORMANCE PLANNN

stupid as fuck what kind of corporate fake working society term is that omfg

AND FOR NOTHING BUT THAT THING IN BARCELONA WHERE I DIDNT GO TO SOME BULLSHIT

i dont care was worth it like fuck yeah bitch!! i really am using yall to fuck around and travel cuz THIS STUPID ASS JOB IS NOT MY FUTURE

and it isint omg its like it never exsited LMFAO

anyways that stressed me out but thank god i had edibles lmao

DUHA HELD IT DOWNN

mmm then i survived to japan

I WENT TO JAPAN THIS YEAR OMFG AFTER YEARS!!! YEARSSSS!!! OF DREAMING ABOUT JAPAN!!! I GOT TO GO

honestly me going to japan was what made this year like this def had to be one of the best years of my life just for that on its own

actually like yeah this def was oddly enough one of the best years of my life?

emotionally hell yes but everything else was good

jsut stupid self-inflicted stress (minus that fuck ass job)

anyways japan was amazing left it wanting to learn the language and AM

i cant wait to go back

and the fact i hit tokyo kyoto and osaka all at once omg amazing

nintendo world 😭 shibuya 😭 just kyoto in general 😭

i bought so much omg

THE FOOD OMG THEIUEHGSEIUH

i had so much good food this year lmao barcelona, japan, texas 🤪

anywhoo after that i basically dont remember much of may like it was just tryna get through the shit and deal with that stupid ass plan and talking to that dumb bitch

which i punked off and he didnt like like fuck u u ugly untalented waste of life ? im not talking nice to u or respecting your bitch ass

and he think getting rid of me was a slap in the face as if that wasnt exactly what i wanted LMFAOOO

3 months leave with pay ??? and i scammed yall w the ticket price?? LOOOOOL oKAYYY THANKS!!!

CHAPTER CLOSED

so basically june they let me gooo true freedom then had the best month of my life in thailand which was FUCKKINGGG MAAZINGGG

omg thailand was so much fun i felt so free

the most free and most happy i ever felt in my life

krabi .. rayleh beach omg the weed and shrooms on the beach 😭

seriously i had no one in my face, no bitches, no work, money, freedom, time, no problems NOTHING

i seriously think those few days in krabi were the happiest moments of my life ever

like pure freedom and security and happiness in ever sense of each word

soooo grateful

and i deserved it after all the stupid ass stress that stupid ass job put me through

and the whole time i was there i was just so grateful i never felt that much gratitude in my life ever

thailand in general was fun omg i bought so much stuff i loved bangkok

i just love travelling man seriously im just built to travel around discover and learn about the world i love connected with the world and exploring and adventuring i hate being stuck in a place

all i ever want to do is travel and live like really LIVE

hate work

anywho right after i came back to my freedom then basically just chilled until i had to go to canada

which was 🙄

listen - ottawa was surprisingly okay actually i enjoyed it, i smoked, i walked around listening to y2k music, stayed at home all cozy, appreciated the nature and the nostalgia lmaoo even chilling w lina and her cousins was fun

but toronto -_- listen im never going to forgive that bitch for throwing me out and those other hoes for not being there for me

shout out to p tho lol

all i wanted to do was leave istg

toronto was a lil boring but i was also just mad cuz all my friends were all

CUT OFFFFF ill never see yall again except maybe nadine and p

for once ottawa was better than toronto

anyways i think im 1000% done w toronto

CHAPTER CLOSED

thank god finally

oh yeah i started a youtube account that im trying to take seriously i guess LOL

i still need to keep going and working on it but its fun

OH YEAH CHICAGOO

LOLLAAPALOOZAAA

yeah thank god that crazy bitch didnt come but omg what a waste of a ticket but anyways her L not mine

just thankful that i had the money for all of this -_- shout out that fuck ass job i guess lmao

part 2... ?

[yveshasu]

under readmore for [REDACTED] you know who you are don’t look

[WIP] Oh no Ford watch out haha

[rubinee]

this post was inspired by a tinder profile i saw months ago that said 'bit of a dad bod but working on it' wym working on it you cannot improve perfection

and also by every guy in my life ever who felt insecure about his height even when he looked so huggable in any outfit

and also by the guy who hired me to wax him because 'body hair is not in fashion right now and he feels undesirable' meanwhile i had to physically stop myself from feeling him up

and also by the guy who asked my friend out on a date who was so nervous the entire time that he was basically trembling and as i was listening to her retelling of their date i was consumed by envy

yall are hot!! you are so fucking hot!! there is no arbitratry standart of masculinity or physique to attain before you're allowed to feel sexy!!! i will devour you whole to prove it if i have to!! free yourself of these shackles and live freely you sexy beast!!!!!!!!!

it is,, so sad!_%¥ just how mannny people§¢}} dont know how sexy they are 10_70&/"!";∆×√°©°®£√`§•\¢

[abiik]

OOOOOOO YALL WISH U WERE ME YALL WISH U WERE ME IM SO FUCKING SEXY OOOOO IM SOOOOOO FU KING SEXY I SLEPT SO FUCKING MUCH TONIGHT YALL WANNA KISS ME SO HARD

[babygirldennis]

R u fuckin kidding???? I didnt smoke weed for 2 days because i was told my drug test was gonna be oral and i show up and they're like haha go piss in a cup like huh?????? Im not gonna pass that!!!!!

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

Yall can we get some bromance with agustín and Félix, those too would definitely have so many bromantic and may be joking about railing each other moments just saying 😞/j

Ay you know what- we don't fucking see them together that often. Lets GO??? Lets do these guys in their early adulthood, shall we?

Agustín yawned as he wrapped up his homework. He had a late start, but at the very least, it was done now. He put his book away in his bag, and was about to turn off the light in his room, when a sudden knock scared him silly. He looked towards the window, and aure enough, there was Félix. His best friend. He sighed, walking over to the window and opening it.

"Running from another ex, Félix?"

"Oye- what kinda greeting is that? ESPECIALLY your oh so very best friend inviting you to a party!"

"Tonight? Its a school night, Félix."

"So? Tomorrow is never promised. Come on! Get your swim trunks!"

Agustín raised a brow at his grinning friend.

"What-swimming? At NIGHT?"

"Yes, come on! I got a LOT of girls coming, and I swiped my brother Julio's beer. It's gonna be fun, but I can't have fun without my best friend!"

Agustín sighed.

"My parents won't let-"

"You sneak out my guy. Come oooon! We'll be back before you know it! When have I done you wrong?"

"Twenty five times."

Félix opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again.

"Okay I didn’t expect an actual number. But I know what'll get you to say yes."

"What?"

"I invited Señorita Perfecta Julieta ~"

He had him. Agustín was one of the many boys who had a crush on Julieta, the eldest Madrigal child. The idea of sneaking off with her...in her bathing suit...he sighed, and nodded.

"Deal."

"ESO! Now, get your stuff, lock your door-"

"My door doesn't lock."

"Seriously? Ugh, only child bullshit. Fine, we'll do the faker tactic."

Félix came into his room, stuffed his pillows under the blanket, and after making sure it looked alright, started to crawl back out the window. Augustín grabbed his swim trunks, and accepted Félix's hand in order to climb out the window. Good thing he held on, his accident proned ass almost fell down the tree. Félix shut the window almost all the way, before helping him climb down to safety. He had a few cases of beer plopped into his arms, with Félix carrying twice as much. He gestured for him to follow, and to do so quietly. Not too quietly though, Félix could never be quiet for long.

"This is gonna be GREAT! We gonna see plenty of ladies in their sexy little two pieces, get a little drunk, and I even heard Ortiz stole a pack of his dad's smokes-rock!"

Félix bumped him away from a rock in the ground, and quickly grabbed him when the force almost sent him down. Agustín was clumsy as a child, and it never seemed to improve.

"Lo siento- it's still kinda dark."

"Eh it happens. Do me a favor though, if you fall, land on your back, not on the beer."

He of course meant more than the beers, but Félix always joked about his accident proned ass. He was lucky to have him as a friend despite this. He followed him into the woods, eventually coming to a well lit area. A hot spring, lit up by candles, and the commotion of party goers. After they got dressed, Félix, ever the social butterfly, stood up on a nearby rock, and showed off his prize.

"WHO'S READY TO PARTY?!"

The crowd roared in surprise, and as soon as they set the drinks on a nearby table, everyone went wild. Félix grinned as he saved Agustín from the crowd, arm wrapped around him, and two beers in his other hand.

"You're the life of the party, Félix."

"I try. Now, come on, salut with your bro."

Félix used a nearby rock to pop off the tops, and they both clanked their glasses together.

"Salut, Félix."

The beer was perfectly cold, and it felt incredible going down. Agustín was too young to drink, they ALL were, but thanks to Félix (and even Pepa), he's had a beer or two. Didn't LOVE them, soda definitely tasted better, but who didn't love a cold drink? Félix whistled as a couple of girls walked by, making it obvious he was looking.

"Happy you made it, chamaco?"

"Maybe a little. It's...definitely got a nice view."

Félix snorted, nudging him with his elbow.

"Ah, a breast man, eh? I'm more legs and ass, but to each his own-"

"Félix! Ven y únete a nosotras!~"

"And bring your cute little friend!~"

They both turned to the voice of VERY cute girls, who were flushed from the heat and party atmosphere. Félix finished the bottle in a hot second, before leaping into the pool, much to the delight of those already in it. Félix parted his soaked hair away from his face, to look at his friend.

"Come on! The water is GREAT!"

Augustín damn near choked as he finished his drink, adding his bottle to the ground with Félix's, before leaping towards the pool. His foot caught on a rock, and he faceplanted into the water, with his body landing on the cold hard ground. He heard the crowd exclaim in surprise, and he immediately whipped his head up. Félix looked ready to help him out, but Agustín wasn't having it. He pushed himself up and into the water, hearing cheers that followed as soon as he lifted himself back up. Félix laughed, before motioning to Agustín's face.

"You got a bloody nose, chamaco, head up."

Agustín accepted a napkin from someone outside of the pool, using it to hold against his nose. Worth it. He was about to ask Félix if he cleaned it up properly, before a shadow loomed over them.

"Hola Auggy~"

They both looked up at the voice. Pepa Madrigal. Showing LOTS of legs and chest in her shameless two piece. Now Agustín was more attracted to Julieta, but you put a pair of tits in front a boy, chances are he'll look.

"Uh...hola Pepa. You look nice."

"Gracias. Hola Félix~"

Félix nudged him out of the way, mumbling 'dibs' under his breath. A L O T of people liked Pepa, but no one more than Félix. He looked up at her like a lovesick puppy, with a hunger in his tone more akin to a wolf.

"Well buenas noches Pepa~...damn girl, you a bank? Because you got 'fine' all over you."

She giggled, slowly letting herself be drawn closer to him by her twin tails.

"Idiota...you're lucky you're cute."

"And you're lucky there's people around, mi vida."

Agustín groaned from the pain in his nose. He wasn’t gonna interrupt his buddies flow, but he was threatening to drip into the water.

"Hey, you okay?"

He looked up, and there she was. The most beautiful woman ever to exist. Julieta Madrigal. Hair lovely and curly, eyes soft and inviting, and just a big, sweaty set of...hearts, barely contained by her bra.

"I'm f-mierda!"

That REALLY hurt. He was pretty sure something was broken. He felt something slip into his hand, and immediately put it in his mouth, thinking it was her healing food. It was a towel. A used one.

"Oh my god I'm sorry I thought you just wanted to clean up-here I actually have an arepa for emergencies."

He was about to apologize for assuming, when he watched her pull an arepa. From her bra. He hesitated to bite into it, acknowledging the fact that this was technically touching her boobs, but bit into it when she looked at him oddly. He felt immediate relief as soon as the cheese hit his tongue, and started to wipe his face free of mess.

"Thank you. I needed that."

Oh the smile she gave. She was just so goddamn pretty. Félix looked up at both the girls, still fiddling with one of Pepa's ponytails.

"How'd you girls make it tonight anyway? Doesn't your mami watch you guys like a hawk?"

Pepa shrugged.

"Bruno is faking being sick for us. I THINK he volunteered because he gets to act. And get all of mami's attention."

"How do you fake being sick when your sister makes healing food?"

"Bruno is REALLY good at it. Mama won't know we're gone. Which is great, Julieta needed a break."

Julieta shrugged a bit, pushing some hair behind her ear in just the cutest way possible.

"It...IS nice to be out. Is the water nice?"

Félix spoke for him, clearly playing the wing man. Félix was ALWAYS trying to get them alone together.

"Why not come in and see, Jules?"

He grabbed her hand, and yanked her into the water. She cried out in surprise before she hit the water, and upon coming back up, immediately splashed Félix in retaliation.

"Oye- that was so MEAN Félix!"

"You're just mad because you dunno how to have fun!"

"Don't have fun without me, idiota!"

Pepa jumped in right after, nearly sending Félix down with her. Not that he seemed to particularly mind. Agustín wasn't gonna lie, he was having fun. Bathing in hot water, getting to talk to Julieta (he learned she loved mint, and made it a point to look for the proper cologne later), having shitty beers, and watching everyone just run amok. Julieta tried to ask Félix for another bottle, only to immediately cover the side of her face, cheeks ablaze. Agustín wasn't surprised that Pepa and Fèlix were making out, just that it took this long. Agustín snickered, trying to help her by offering his hand to help block the view.

"Hey, at least she's happy."

"I...suppose. I am too though. Félix said you'd be here, and it's...kinda why I came."

Oh he felt his ears buzzing, he felt his heart pounding as she looked up at him with those big, pretty eyes. He gulped, a bit louder than he meant to.

"You...came here for me?"

"And because Pepa insisted she 'say hi to Félix', but yes. I like talking to you. You're sweet."

There was silence between them, and he decided to pluck up the courage.

"Do you...wanna get out of here?"

"If you could bring me a towel, then yes."

Holy shit. He was walking out of here with Julieta Madrigal? He was dreaming. He caught Félix giving him a thumbs up mid make out as he got out of the water, walking to get her a towel. Then he heard laughter. Eyes were on him, and many pointed. Sure his shorts had rubber ducks on them, but this seemed a bit much.

"Agustín tiene una gamba!"

He looked down at himself, and realized in between it all, his shorts came off. He was naked. His face burned as he tried to cover both his front and the back, and the crowd erupted in laughter. Julieta wasn't looking at him, but Pepa and Fèlix definitely were. No way would someone as socially important as him would wanna be friends with him. He could imagine the shrimp related nicknames, and could picture the bromance break up so clearly. Then Fèlix got out of the water, standing next to him. Agustín yelled/whispered.

"What are you DOING?!"

"Shh, I got a plan."

Félix then just took off his swim wear, holding it up in the air like a damn flag.

"Tira, perras!"

Almost immediately, people started to cheer. Men took of swim trunks, girls took off their tops- it was a MAD HOUSE of nude, drunk idiots. A guy in the back, definitely on the wasted end, wooped as he held up his boxers.

"Fuck yeah Agustín!!!"

There were chants of 'Agustín' over and over, with Félix not only being the loudest voice out there, but the guy who held him still as people DOUSED him in the shittiest, coldest beer. He sat there, body hot from the water but quickly cooling thanks to the drinks. He was basking in the attention, in the adoration, and honestly? He was glad Félix talked him into this.

--------------------

"Shhh!!! cállate!"

Félix snickered as his buddy helped him inside. It was WAY late, but who cared? They saw, they drank, Félix made out with the cutest girl in their class- it was a good night. Agustín reached into his closet, handing him a fresh towel. Félix snickered as he ran the towel over his body, drying himself just enough so he could sit on his buddies bed. As he rubbed it over his hair, he looked at his buddy with a smirk on his face.

"That's rude, given the fact that I made you the 'it' guy at the party! They were chanting your NAME, chamaco!"

Agustín looked a little embarrassed, given his red ears, before he chuckled.

"It...was nice. Thanks for the save, by the way. You didn't have to do that."

"What? And let you drown? Never. We've been friends since we were like, six. You aren't getting rid of my ass. Speaking of, guess who kept looking at YOURS, my guy!"

Félix leaned over to smack his little white ass, making him yelp. Agustín still couldn't find his clothes after the party, so they both made it here naked as the day they were born. Agustín huffed, turning to keep his ass away from him.

"Julieta was just in shock. I just think- okay can you put YOUR shorts on? THIS, is very distracting."

"Nope, that's not how my bros work. You gonna see my dick until it stops being weird."

"W-HOW?"

Félix leaned back, legs open, gesturing for him to look.

"We just need this little pow wow- look at it."

"I'm NOT looking at it."

"Dude I've LIVED this. Look at my dick for a minute."

Agustín didn't, and only looked at his face when he snapped his fingers.

"Félix dude come on, it's one thing to occasionally see it in the locker room-"

"Dude trust me. I've done this with all my friends. Just like a minute. Literally I've been staring at yours this whole conversation."

Agustín covered himself in shame, before groaning as he relented. Félix sat back still and let Agustín full on look at his dick. A few seconds into it, Agustín finally spoke.

"I. I kinda see what you see mean."

"SEE!? Now you can see my dick at any point and it's not weird. Especially the dick of the guy who got you Julieta's attention ~"

He nudged his buddy until he got a grin out of him.

"Don't. I know where this is going, dude."

"Come on, who takes care of you?"

"You."

"I'm not hearing you!"

Félix wrapped his arm around Agustín's head, bringing him into the bed with him and giving him a noogie. Agustín laughed, trying in vain to get Félix off of him.

"You, alright!? Come on dude, get off!"

"Aw, come on 'Auggy'! You gonna let me pick on you? Huh? Huh?"

So he was being a bit much. He was drunk, his buddy was drunk, they were happy, you couldn't blame him. He couldn't help bullying his little buddy, just a bit.

"Dude, seriously, you're heavy! And Gordo!"

"Oye-big talk from a guy LITERALLY pinned under me right now."

It was innocent, boys being boys type shit. Until the door opened.

"Agustín, honey? We heard a noise-"

Agustín's parents were right there, and Fèlix felt himself freeze. They were all frozen, until Agustín finally said something.

"Maman, Papa! It's n-not what it looks like!"

Okay, so he was nude, on top of his friend, who was also nude. In his room. In his bed. In the early morning. Looked a LITTLE weird. His mother gulped, looking pale in the face.

"Dear god, please tell me you use protection."

"What? No no no, I don't! I-"

His mom fainted. Full on fainted. Fell like a sack of potatoes onto the floor. Her husband immediately tried to help her up, and Agustín looked at Félix, in PURE panic.

"WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?!"

"I'm sorry! Look if I was fucking your tiny ass I WOULD wrap it, I promise!"

"THAT'S NOT H E L P I N G, FÉLIX."

His dad looked up at him, panicking just as hard.

"Félix please, at LEAST put some clothes on!!"

Right. He was still naked as hell. He got off of Agustín, quickly put on his shorts, and tried to help his mom. She came to, only to faint again upon seeing Félix. Well you know what they say.

It's not a real party till someone faints.

[problematicfavesareproblematic]

NSFW with Chuck Grant

~ ~ ~

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

 Charles Grant is a walking example of “acts like a badass, is actually a softie” bc BOY, IS HE HARD (lol) TO GET A READ ON. 

When you first start fucking, he doesn’t really have the instinct to stick around after and soak up the afterglow- mostly bc that’s not the dynamic that any of his previous relationships operated under, but also bc he’s like Lieb and doesn’t feel comfortable being vulnerable and potentially having you reject him. He only confidently leaves the first time, and then he judges whether to stay or not on how you look at him as he makes to get dressed after the second time you boink. If you want your space, he’ll go and be back the next day as long as you let him, but if you look even a little bit offended or hurt, he’s getting his ass back in that bed and doing whatever he can to get that sad look out of your eyes.

When he does stay, he’s down to give you whatever he can manage. 

He’s all for slowly kissing you while trailing his fingertips up and down your side, but if you just want to sleep beside him he is more than cool with it (he’ll probably still pet you a lil bit after you fall asleep bc he’s soft for you but shh shh shh don’t tell anyone). The only thing he isn’t very good at doing is pillow talk, especially right after sex. He’s too worried about saying the wrong thing and fucking up what he’s managed to establish with you. 

It isn’t until after he’s shot that he realizes how nice it feels to have someone else take care of him, and when you do so after sex it solidifies the fact that you don’t see him as a burden- you want him and you want to stay. Thank god, too. He doesn’t think he could recover without you (again, not that he’d ever tell you that)

 B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

 Your AhhhhhhHSSSSssssSSSSSs!!!!!!

Oh wow, look at you- owner of the cutest butt he’s ever seen. Can he put his hands on it? Can he squeeze it? Please please puh-lease can you let him watch it jiggle as he fucks you? If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, then you’ve made each and every single one of his dreams come true. 

He doesn’t discriminate in his love for butts- he’s an equal-opportunity appreciator of the Majesty of the Female Ass™. If it changes size throughout your relationship, he’ll love it even more. Absolutely shameless.

On himself? He likes his legs- especially his thighs. 

He likes how strong they are, despite how much he hates Sobel for getting them to their current strength re: Currahee. But he gets over it quickly bc oh wow is he happy with their endurance while trying to keep up with you, both sexually and otherwise. The day he realized you could ride yourself to orgasm on them was the day he died and went to heaven and was sent back to sin again.

 C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

 He likes cumming on your pubic mound and then watching it slide down your pussy, thank you very much. If you guys are trying for kids or in a position where you don’t have to worry about not having kids, he’ll cum inside of you happily but oh wow he likes watching it slide down your lower lips. BONUS POINTS if he gets to catch it on his thumb and either stick it in your mouth OR circle your clit with it in order to get you off one more time.

Also, you asking him where he wants to cum on you gets him hot under the proverbial collar. 

 D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

 He’d do literally anything for you if you’d let him put his finger in your ass. He will genuinely kill an individual of your choice if you let him put his cock there instead. What a perv (jk it takes a lot of vulnerability for some people to convey their wants and desires to their partners plz remember that this has been a PSA).

The one thing he’ll never actually tell you about... EVER is that for a little while after meeting you for the first time in Georgia, he started hooking up with a girl who he didn’t realize (until much later) bore a striking resemblance to you. He’d had to end the relationship when he straight-up called out your name when he came (he was a lil drunk, just tipsy enough to slip up) and full-on booked it out of there bc not only had he pissed the girl off, but his shout had woken up her family- namely her very angry father- and barely escaped with his life.

 E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

 He’s had two lovers before you, but one of them was really experienced and patient and bless that woman. All he really has to do is learn what you like and he’ll commit it to memory. 

And you better be damn sure that he’ll use that knowledge against you/for his benefit. 

 F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

 Doggy style for all the reasons mentioned before. Or reverse cowgirl. Or normal cowgirl. His hands + your butt= dream combo.

 G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

 He can be goofy, but more than anything else he likes it when you’re goofy. Chuck can get a little too in his own head at times, which can lead to frustration/self-doubt- ESPECIALLY while recovering from his brain injury. You reminding him that sex is meant to be fun does him a huge favor, bc poor lamb will forget that every so often.

So please, nibble at his earlobe in that way that tickles him. Make a quip at the expense of one of your friends. Mock the silly sound of the moan you just let slip out.

 H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

 He’s not going to groom unless you tell him to, but he also doesn’t feel like you need to groom for him, either. Chuck’s not afraid to admit how much his personal hygiene has improved since meeting you. 

I can promise you that if you’re heavily invested in skin/hair care, he’ll probably be just as into building his own routine. 

 I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

 You always have Chuck’s full and undivided attention during sex, but he won’t necessarily show it unless he gets the guy feeling/you tell him that you want him to be. He’s going to whisper sexy things into your ear, call you a good girl (if not his good girl), and do everything in his power (at the time, at least (he can get a little distracted if you’re doing something particularly sexy)) to make sure you feel just how appreciated you are. He gets more and more confident in his PDA as your relationship progresses, but when it’s just you two? You’ll never meet a bigger sweetheart.

 J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

 Ok, so I’m deciding for you that mutual masturbation is a thing that you’re both into, m’kay? 

I'm also making the executive decision that you really enjoy watching him get himself off. You walked in on him one time, before you’d had sex, and were so stunned that you just watched in rapt attention until awkwardly backing out of the room and slamming the door shut. He’d nearly cum right then and there, and it got you extremely aroused. 

The next time you see each other, at some Georgia bar while on a pass, you offhandedly mention that you wish you hadn’t left and FROM THAT DAY ON he always lets you know when he’s feeling the urge and how you’re more than welcome to watch.

And when you do? It’s always a much shorter experience than he intends bc wow how hot are you?

 K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

 Frottage! Dry Humping! Grinding!

Allow me to explain:

In the months following D-Day, it was quickly understood that being on the frontlines meant having traditional forms of sex were no longer on the table (hehe) for you two. You’d experimented with rucking your trousers down your thighs, his thighs, both of your thighs, and each time it was a disaster (with one of the worst times ending up falling onto Tab after he’d inadvertently opened a door that Chuck had been fucking you against. Chuck had nearly thrown fists when Tab refused to look aware from your bare ass.)

So yall started grinding- quickly finding out that the bunches of fabric separating your bodies not only led to new forms of stimulation, but it also meant that you both started to utilize dirty talk. There’s something about your trembling lips at his ear, your warm whispers of ‘so good’ and ‘is this really all you need, Chuck? Me, writhing on you like this? What does that say about you, you desperate boy??’

Boy’s bought a one-way ticket to Boner City, USA.

PLUS! What a way to keep warm during Bastogne? Everyone is so jealous that they don’t have a super foxy megahot babe like you to grind upon.

 L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

 Hmm…..is saying anywhere a cop-out? Because he’s down for anywhere, he’ll follow your lead and rise to the occasion. Such a perv i s2g.

 M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

 ♫ YOOOUUUUUUUU!!!!!! ♫

You have this one eyebrow quirk you do when you’re in the mood, and it just so happens to be similar to the brow raise you give someone trying to outsmart you (which is another turn on for him- you putting some overly-confident sonofabitch back in their place after allowing them to mansplain at you for a little bit. First boner he ever got (since meeting you, obviously) came after witnessing you telling Joe Liebgott to stfu in cutting German after he’d made some off-color comment about your ass.) 

So, more often than not, he'll get a little turned on when you argue with people. Maybe even when you argue with him- who knows? not me. (i totally do, and he totally is)

 N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

 Any sort of pain play, on either of you. 

After being in genuine agony for so long while recovering from all of the surgeries, the idea of seeking any more pain out just doesn’t make sense. Chuck also doesn’t want to see you in pain- even if you’re asking him to make you feel it. You’d both suffered through the pain of hunger, frostbite, insect bites, sunburn, and just war in general (all of which had emotionally taken a toll on him bc he felt completely helpless and hated that he couldn’t do anything to take your hurt away). 

Sex and pain just doesn’t go together for him. Sorry not sorry 

 O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

 He loves having you go down on him, adores the way your eyes look up at him as if you’re challenging him to withstand your beautiful ministrations. 

He also is a big fan of going down on you, but PLEASE PLEASE PUH-LEASE ride his face. Good lord. 

He’s a sucker (teehee) for it- something about you using him like it’s all you keep him around for gets him hot. You also get this certain snarl on your lips when you are getting close that makes him lose his goddamn mind bc WOW YOU ARE SO ATTRACTIVE and HOLY SHIT YOU CHOSE HIM OF ALL PEOPLE? WOWOWOW.

 P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

 He’ll follow your lead/body language in terms of pace. Most sex sessions shift between both slow and deep as well as fast and hard anyway, so he is a fan of both. 

 Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

 A necessary evil, as far as Chuck is concerned. He’ll do them, and he’d be lying if he said that he didn’t enjoy the spontaneity of them, but he would prefer not to be rushed when he’s with you.

 R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

 He was riskier until that one time Tab caught you guys, after which he chilled out. Which you are thankful for, bc you’ve spoken with Lieb’s wife and BOY have those two gotten into some embarrassing situations bc of how risky that kid is. 

 S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

 The longest he's gone is 4 rounds (it was celebratory sex on VE day, with both of you in the best shape you'd ever been in and too high on relief to listen to your bodies. Ya'll were sore and dehydrated afterward but LORD was it worth it.

 T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

 He’d be very open to the idea of toys! On you, he’s automatically cool with it, but it does take him a little bit to get his head around the idea of using toys himself. Again, 40s/50s= somewhat repressed discussion about deviations from the traditional male sexuality- but Chuck is more willing and ready to challenge the societal norms than most. Very sexy of him.

 U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

 He always intends to tease you, but more often than not he gets so turned on that he can’t follow that intention through. You are aware of this and ABSOLUTELY weaponize this knowledge. Get it, fam. 

During day-to-day conversation, however, you both tease each other constantly. It’s been like that since you’ve met each other- always making innuendos and one-upping the other and for some reason that never even went away.

When Chuck woke up and the doctors brought you in to see him, the first thing he told you was that you looked terrible. When you’d replied with a sniff, a smile and a “guess the doc’s were full of shit when they said there was no change in your vision, huh?”- Chuck had smiled so hard it hurt.

 V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

 He’s a choked moan kind of guy. His face gets all scrunched up and his body shakes and he curses quietly under his breath (it’s vv cute and hot, FYI). he doesn’t even try and be quiet on purpose, he just seems to lose the ability to be vocal, tbh. If he’s drinking or if it’s been a hot minute since yall have gotten to do the do, he’ll probably be a bit louder. Like, maybe one loud cry of your name (see: the letter D)

It doesn’t bother him if you make sounds at all, just so you know. If anything, he likes that he’s a quiet cummer bc then he can hear any and all of your sounds.

 W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

 biting your ass while eating you out from behind is *bang* *bang* *bang* *click* *cash register noise*.

Especially if you squeal and smack at him after he does it.

 X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

 Average in all respects but OH MAN does he know how to work it to his advantage. Get ready for a wild ride, my dude. 

 Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

 Higher post-war, tbh. Chuck had had to be on bed rest for so long that he thought he may never get the chance to have sex again, so he totally makes a point to indulge in you every chance that he can get (but he’s cool if you say no, too).

But, as I mentioned in ‘risk’, he’s not going to be humping your leg in public or anything (ok but imagine if you were a dom to his sub and you made him do that holy fuck)

 Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

 He does not sleep very well, poor bb. He will be asleep but his mind will be working through all kinds of things ranging from PTSD to what shoes he wanted to wear to dinner with your parents that weekend. Good thing there’s a remedy to this ailment- your pussy sex with you!

While he can’t konk out immediately, he is able to relax. He will allow himself to get lost in the rhythm of your breathing, the weight of your hand on his arm or your arm wrapped around his middle. He will sometimes nuzzle into you as you’re drifting off to sleep, and when you press a kiss to his forehead he finally feels safe.

~ ~ ~

taglist: @sunsetmando​ @televisionboy​ @now-im-a-belieber​ @tvserie-s-world​ @holdingforgeneralhugs​ @mrseasycompany​ @itswormtrain​ @mrsalwayswrite​ @happyveday​ 

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. rachel doesnt put anything under a grey lens so why would the fans? like persephone and hades and hera are always show as only good (w/ even their bad actions framed as good in one way or another) meanwhile zeus and apollo and minthe are always shown as bad. why should we be shocked demeter is also under the "look how abusive demeter is!" lens when thats how rachel has depicted her for years now? even her protecting her daughter was framed as bad, but good when hera and hades do the same thing!

2. I want to know how the fans think RS is above critique when even the most beloved artists ever were critiqued too? Are we seriously supposed to buy Rachel, an artist who can't even keep a basic color sheet or doesn't know basic anatomy, is somehow a better artist and thus shouldn't be critiqued over the likes of Da vinci, Michelangelo, and Van Gogh, all who were critiqued in their times? Like how egotistical do you have to be to think she's free from critique over the literal legends of art?

3. tbh i under the impression blogs like this and other "anti" spaces wouldnt need to exist if lo fans just ... let people actually have discussions and differing opinions and not rigidly police it so there is only mindless praise and thats it. like overwhelmingly every "anti" ive seen is fans or former fans who have to make their own space because the fandom is so full of "toxic positivity". even the lo discord mass banned people for asking for a single hour of "approved critique time" like what??

4. LO fans, their fanbase, and their comic is so wildly misogynistic which is weird bc it's made by a woman and the fans are overwhelming 12 year old girls to 20 year old women?? and they all claim to be super progressive and feminist?? like nah yall cant claim that while calling minthe a whore who deserves to be tortured and killed and demeter is a shrill karen who doesn't understand ~LOVE~ unlike the literal slave owner hades whose type is vulnerable young teeangers who dont know better lmao.

5. I honestly thought you guys were joking when you said how old Rachel actually is. I could have sworn off her writing and art alone she was maybe idk, 22? Not in her late 30s?  Yall mean to tell me she's almost 40 damn years old and she still acts and writes like a teenager? Like at this rate she will literally be in her 40s when LO ends and it's just a jumbled mess of her self inserting on a born sexy yesterday 19 year old and her desperately wanting a billionaire slave owner to bang her? what??

From OP: Just so people know what anon is talking about, RS is currently 35 I believe (saw her mention it on twitter some time this year).

6. the difference between how LO uses Hades as a God of Wealth versus how others use it is that say Hadestown makes a clear point to use that status as a way to critique capitalism and how Hades, because of him using such cruel labor practices and hoarding wealth, is a bad thing. That's a way to use mythology in a way to tell a modern story. In comparison, LO has Hades owning slaves, abusing his employees, controlling all the resources, and hoarding wealth as a GOOD thing. That's the problem!

7. i do love the new excuse of "rachel has put so much time into this comic so you cant critique it" like yo that only makes it worse? like shes spent literal YEARS working on this comic and its still misogynistic, racist, ableist, homophobic, etc etc like how do you spent so much time on it and never improve and even make it worse? like do yall hear yourselves when you say that?

8. im sorry but webtoons HAS to update the banners and icons and stuff for LO by now because all of that was made in 2018 and the style does not match at ALL.

9. i would honestly buy more the idea of rs claiming shes trying to show shades of grey (heh) in the characters and relationships if like that was actually shown to us years ago and properly set up since the start? like you cant now be nearly four years into this and now claim youre showing them being complex and "not perfect" when you spent years making them as uncomplex as possible and framing only hxp and hera as "perfect"? thats not how writing works?

10. nah that other anon brings up a point i didnt consider. if the nymphs are designed as the "perfect women" (which yes side eye that obvs HAS to be just persephone clones) then why is persephone considered so desirable and unique then? theres thousands of these pink nymphs running around with actual personalities and are the most beautiful women ever, why wouldnt people prefer them to the slate persephone? she has nothing go for her beyond what, her boobs are bigger? easier to manipulate?