#seriously you don't have to read this just because we're friends
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heavysighing-dreamyeyes · 10 hours ago
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I'm wild about this fic!! The tension, the angst, the way I want to bite her!! (Or have her bite me, I'm not picky) I'm actually so down bad for Jay Todd and OP is feeding us sooo well with this fic! I talk about my fav parts below the cut:
It's her eyes you recognize first, oddly enough, through her cracked helmet. You shouldn't recognize her at all, with how everything about her has changed. Even the way she looks at you is different. You've never seen Jay Todd so ferocious.
FERAL!! insane opener. Like yesss her eyes. A girl could get lost in them and the sigh I just let out was so dreamy fr
Okay, you lied. This wasn't an accident. This was fate that you played a hand in. This was what was bound to happen after Jay got too close, let herself get seen. You've had an itch for months, eyes on your back. You're a civilian now, sure, but you loved a bat once.
On my knees! Especially that last line, you loved a bat, and even if you aren't part of their world anymore, you know enough to remember what it felt like. And the reader hunting Jay down to see her again?? She's so me. As if I would be okay with fumbling such a baddie after everything we've been through
Jay drops her gun, grabs your wrists, and knocks the wind out of you in a graceful takedown. You can't even be mad.
giggling and batting my eyes
When she was Robin, you had a slim chance of physically overtaking her. Now, double in size and muscle, Jay keeps you pushed to the ground with no chance of getting free. Her hands hold you by your wrists, body hovering close so you can't move much.
GIGGLING AND BATTING MY EYES. Just give me a chance!! ah, this whole paragraph has me glued to my screen. I might have stopped breathing. There's so much tension because of what they were and what happened and what they could be. Ahh!
"Jay," you say softly, unable to keep your eyes fixed on one part of her. You're afraid to blink and make her disappear.
owwww
"You're a good shot." You mean it as a compliment. Jay only seems to get angrier.
Reader is whipped and that is an accurate representation of me. Got me over here starry eyed and kicking my feet
"Stop talking like that!" she yells, tears in her eyes. "Stop talking like we're friends. We aren't friends. You don't know me!" "But I do," you say, limp beneath her, like a lamb caught in a wolf's bite. "Jay, I do."
UGh this is so visceral. Like there's the joy of seeing her again, being near her. And then there's the crushing hurt of why she's been gone for so long. Why there's the smell of iron in the air and she's yelling at you and trying to push you away.
Jay's mouth quivers as she bares her teeth. "I took you to that diner. It was mine first." "It never stopped being yours," you say quietly.
oooh! I gasped over this reveal
"You're fuckin' deluded," she says, eyes glassy with tears. "Fuckin'—sleep so heavy, like I can't slip in and smother you. No one would know. Make tea in your-your robe, don't even pull the curtains shut. I can see you. Anyone can."
!! wow. I don't have words but I do know that I covered my mouth with my hand when I read this.
"I missed you, Jay," you say, a heart-shaped lump in your throat. "And so what?" she asks, tears falling down her cheeks. "So fuckin' what if you missed me? You kept living."
Sobbing over them
Jay is perfectly still for several moments. Then she wraps two big hands around your ribs, pulls your shoulders forward like nothing, and rests her cheek on your chest.
We all need hugs after this one fr. Seriously, it was good!! The hurt HURT and I actually went crazy over Jay. 💙💙💙
Femjay you say 👀 how about the classic "you're alive?!" confrontation with a sprinkle of pining
sprinkle of pining you say-oh dear! i've dumped the whole bag in! along with a jar of erotic violence! whoopsies...
female!jason todd x afab!reader. violence, angy jay, reader being held down, crying, reunion. remember that girl best friend you had highkey lesbian tension with? yeah.
****
It's her eyes you recognize first, oddly enough, through her cracked helmet. You shouldn't recognize her at all, with how everything about her has changed. Even the way she looks at you is different. You've never seen Jay Todd so ferocious.
"You weren't supposed to be here!" she screams.
It's true, you weren't. You stumbled across your dead best friend by accident, found her hissing and vicious with a shattered helmet and a smoking gun. Four dead men surround her.
"Get out."
All you can do is stare. She's alive. She's back. She's yours.
"Jay..."
Okay, you lied. This wasn't an accident. This was fate that you played a hand in. This was what was bound to happen after Jay got too close, let herself get seen. You've had an itch for months, eyes on your back. You're a civilian now, sure, but you loved a bat once.
She pries off her helmet and your breath hitches. God, she's beautiful.
"What is wrong with you? You could've fuckin' gotten shot."
Your legs start moving. Your arms part. You expect the feel of a soft cape between your fingers, black curls to tickle your chin due to a height difference you never let her forget.
Jay drops her gun, grabs your wrists, and knocks the wind out of you in a graceful takedown. You can't even be mad.
"You're alive," you choke out.
When she was Robin, you had a slim chance of physically overtaking her. Now, double in size and muscle, Jay keeps you pushed to the ground with no chance of getting free. Her hands hold you by your wrists, body hovering close so you can't move much.
Her eyes are wild. A mix of blue and green. More green than you remember. Her irises have swallowed her pupils and her curls are knotted and frizzy. You feel inexplicably hunted.
"How dare you?" she spits. "How fuckin' dare you come here?"
"Jay," you say softly, unable to keep your eyes fixed on one part of her. You're afraid to blink and make her disappear.
"I could've shot you," she says. "You could be dead right now."
"You're a good shot."
You mean it as a compliment. Jay only seems to get angrier.
"I have to be. I'm the only one keeping myself alive," she says. You make a weak noise in your throat.
"I should've looked for you," you say.
She scoffs. "Don't say stupid shit. You're smarter than that."
"I should've," you insist. "I should've found you. I felt you."
"Yeah? Feel how I could tear you apart? It comes so easy now, you have no idea. 'M fuckin' soaked with blood."
You stay silent. Jay's eyes flash. She leans in, breath hot on your ear.
"Are you scared?" she asks like she knows the answer.
But she doesn't.
Your legs part further so she can kneel comfortably. You shake your head.
Jay snarls. "You should be. I've killed people. I'll keep killing."
"It's okay," you say. "You're angry. It's okay to be angry. I don't blame you. No one does."
"Stop talking like that!" she yells, tears in her eyes. "Stop talking like we're friends. We aren't friends. You don't know me!"
"But I do," you say, limp beneath her, like a lamb caught in a wolf's bite. "Jay, I do."
"No, you don't," she snaps. Her voice is mocking, brittle. "You know your fancy publishing job in a big shiny office, away from this shithole, and-and fuckin' Paul from Marketing who brings you banana pancakes from the diner."
Your breath comes out in a careful exhale. "You've been keeping tabs on me. How long have you been back?"
Jay's mouth quivers as she bares her teeth. "I took you to that diner. It was mine first."
"It never stopped being yours," you say quietly.
"You—" Jay growls in frustration. Her hands squeeze your wrists. "This isn't how it's s'posed to go. Hate me, hate me. I'm a monster."
"You're not."
"You're fuckin' deluded," she says, eyes glassy with tears. "Fuckin'—sleep so heavy, like I can't slip in and smother you. No one would know. Make tea in your-your robe, don't even pull the curtains shut. I can see you. Anyone can."
"I missed you, Jay," you say, a heart-shaped lump in your throat.
"And so what?" she asks, tears falling down her cheeks. "So fuckin' what if you missed me? You kept living."
You try to pull your hand free, and to your surprise, you do. Jay lets you slip out of her grip. You use your free hand to hold her scarred cheek, wipe her tears with your thumb.
Jay is perfectly still for several moments. Then she wraps two big hands around your ribs, pulls your shoulders forward like nothing, and rests her cheek on your chest. She shakes into your skin, kneeling between your legs.
You hug her head, smell her new-old smell, and let her curls tickle your chin once again.
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olderthannetfic · 3 days ago
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Fandom's Newspaper: Revisiting /Report
It's 2011. LJ is dying. Fandom is splintering. You keep asking where we're going next.
You're haunted by the creeping realization that the rest of "we" is leaving for some stupid, weird site with bad features that lacks all the things that make a proper fandom home. They wouldn't really do that, would they? They wouldn't go where you can't follow!
It's okay though: LJ was fandom's home because it was hands down a better site. You'll simply have to wait till someone builds one with the right features, and then fandom will naturally migrate back there.
At least there's AO3. It's getting so big! There are over twenty thousand accounts and two hundred thousand works! Too bad there are so few Asian fandoms on it. Anime fandom will probably always be on FFN even if it's kind of hostile to m/m. Oh well.
But where is the community?
You stumble across a podcast that's a couple of slashers chatting about the latest in fandom. How fun! It's like the best of a fandom newsletter and a phone call with your fandom bestie rolled into one! You're between fandoms, and you don't have that bestie right now, but /Report lets you feel like you know what's going on. It's like reading the fandom newspaper!
--
Okay, but in all seriousness, at Slash Report (/report)'s height, I often saw people talk about it the way they talk about my tumblr now, and it cracks me up. I guess in any era, we're wondering where everybody else is.
/report was a casual podcast of friends chatting that ran from August 2011 until June 2016.
I wasn't a regular listener back in the day. I did listen to quite a few episodes later on, long after they'd aired, but also long ago by now. A couple of things that I do remember from it (like mentions of Chinese media) make me think it would be highly entertaining to revisit it now, in 2024.
Tumblr is still hanging on as a fandom hub of sorts, just like LJ was still active in 2011. (Just pretend you can't hear that clock ticking down!) So much else has changed. The internet is a radically different place now. But fans are still floundering around, looking for a sense of connection.
So just for fun, listen to /report's very first episode 101 Slash Cast.
Suits, Hawaii Five-0, The Mentalist, and a mention of knots that has nothing to do with omegaverse!
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dominimoonbeam · 2 years ago
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The Truth In Your Skin - 4
The Tattoo Shop AU! If you want to read it from the beginning it’s on ao3. The fourth chapter is below. The whole fic is heavy angst and hurt/comfort with some serious past domestic violence issues (Quinn. It’s Quinn. It’s always Quinn.)
Darlin/David. Sweetheart/Milo. Asher/?
tags: hurt/comfort, angst, learning to trust, scars, found family, past domestic violence, trauma, slow burn, tattoos, piercings
The Truth In Your Skin - 4
Darlin felt better than they had in a year. Longer even. It felt good to work, to be back in a shop surrounded by the hum of machines and music. The crew wasn’t bad, and no one touched their station.
No one asked them any questions they didn’t want to answer, either. They could have looked them up, could have found out on their own, but Darlin didn’t think they had. David knew what city they’d lived in before—where they’d worked. Would it be hard to find records of what had happened? Maybe. It wasn’t exactly newsworthy when someone like them got the shit kicked out of them, let alone by their partner. Ugly but not surprising. Right? That was what they’d been told. What did they expect?
They flicked their tongue against the inside of their lip, looking for the metal that wasn’t there.
Whether the others knew or not, they didn’t ask. Not even the guy that did the piercings, Milo. He’d taken one long look at Darlin’s lip scar before meeting their gaze again that first day and then pretended he didn’t know how that happened.
Darlin was grateful. The more time that passed, things settled into a new normal. It actually felt like they could move forward. They’d gone to that holiday party and it was nice.
Their station was across from David’s near the back of the main room. They caught him watching them work sometimes. Fair. It was his shop, after all. He’d have to make sure they weren’t doing a shit job.
Asher had the spot near the door. He was loud but never in a bad way. He only stopped talking when someone else did. His clients seemed to get a whole experience out of sitting in his chair, most loath to leave even when the work was done. And when his chair was empty, he’d come over and start talking up Darlin’s or David’s clients.
Through the archway, there were two more stations. Milo did the piercings and Sweetheart specialized in new school tattoos. They were still pretending not to be a couple.
The day was slow and well past lunch.
Asher flopped down in Darlin’s chair and stretched out until his tank top hiked up his stomach. “You busy?” he asked, hands under his mess of hair.
Darlin raised an eyebrow. They’d just cleaned their station. He knew it, because he had been in the same room all day. “Super busy,” they lied. They didn’t have anyone else lined up today. He knew that too because he handled the schedules in the mornings.
Asher had two thin rings in the side of his eyebrow, a bridge between his eyes, a stud under his bottom lip and another in his tongue. Somehow, he still pouted like a puppy. “I’m bored. Tattoo me?”
David snorted in the space across from them. He had a client laid out on their chest, shirt off and arms pillowed under their cheek. Their headphones were so loud they could almost hear the music over the beat of the shop speakers.
Darlin blinked at Asher. “Are you serious?”
Asher lit up. “Yeah!” He sat up and pulled his shirt off. He tossed it vaguely in the direction of his own chair, landing on the floor in the middle of the room instead. “Front or back?” He started searching himself for a spot.
Darlin pressed back a smile. “What do you want?”
Asher was still considering real estate. “Doesn’t matter. Anything that’s yours.”
Darlin might have doubted that and pressed for him to make a choice but looking at the assortment of random work on his body, they realized he meant it. He was a collector. They shrugged and started setting up.
“You don’t have to,” David reminded in a grumble.
Darlin nodded but put on the black gloves. “You sure you can sit still?” they asked Asher.
Asher laughed and stretched one arm up, hooking it under his head and offering them a patch of untattooed skin just under his ribs.
“Want to pick a color?” Darlin asked.
Asher settled in, his new position allowing him to watch David. “Nope. You pick.”
Darlin huffed but got to work, already forming an idea.
Asher didn’t squirm at all when the needle finally hit skin. He didn’t even miss a beat in conversation with David. Milo walked a client out and then came over to see what was going on. He turned his head to get a better look at the developing tattoo just as Darlin swiped away inky and blood. Milo smiled when he saw the round little bird in black lines that Darlin was currently adding a splash of neon yellow to. It would come out looking like watercolor stroked over a sketch.
The bell on the front door in the lobby chimed. “Got it,” Milo said, nodding and stepping back. He slid his hands into his pockets and walked to the reception.
“Almost done,” Darlin said.
Asher hadn’t looked yet. “You’re coming out with us after work, right?”
The shop was closed Sundays and Mondays and Asher liked to get everyone together on Saturday nights after locking up. Darlin had said no all the times before that holiday party and they’d bounced back and forth in their head since about what to do the next time. Go or don’t go? “Yeah. Sure.”
Asher beamed.
Darlin was just finishing up when the voices from the front room carried in, Milo leading a couple of people back with him. They were talking about a piercing. One of the two was taking the plunge and getting another one on impulse.
Darlin’s heart beat faster but they weren’t sure why at first—not until one of those voices pitched over the other to shout, “Holy shit! I remember you! From—”
Darlin had just put the needle down when the words struck them. The woman was talking to them. She remembered them. Her steps sounded impossibly loud as she came closer.
“Misfit!” she shouted the name she remembered.
Darlin winced. That wasn’t their name. It was just how he’d introduced them to people and it had stuck. “You’re not a Darlin. Anyone can see that.”
“Hell, I haven’t seen you in years!” She leaned against the back of the chair Asher was in.
Darlin’s brain felt like it was on overload, sounds and colors and light all coming in too fast and too hard.
“How have you been? What are you doing out here? Is Quinn here?” His name sounded like the thud of their forehead against the floor, a headache slicing through their temple. The woman looked around like he might be there in the shop, her smile huge and her teeth bright. Quinn’s teeth had been bright too, slick with red.
Darlin’s chest hurt and they fought the impulse to look around too, for one blinding second terrified that he might be there.
 -
 David had finished up with his client and started cleaning up his space. He had been sneaking peeks at Darlin’s work on Asher, not quite ready to process the pang of jealousy he felt. Maybe he just really wanted a tattoo from them too?
And then Milo returned with a couple of clients and everything changed. All of the ease that had built in Darlin vanished in a flash, their body went tight and their chin dropped to their chest. David was close enough and at an angle to see the way their eyes blanked out, like they’d fucking left their body.
“Back up,” Asher said, voice suddenly far from the light, humorous notes that usually filled the shop. He had sat up in his seat, physically putting himself between Darlin and the stranger.
The stranger jumped back, surprised. Offense warred with anger on her expression, gaze flicking between Asher and Darlin and then back to her friend standing with Milo.
Milo was quick to smooth things over, herding the two clients toward his station in the other room.
The woman went but spoke louder to make up for the distance.
“What the fuck is their problem? Do you think they broke up? It would explain what they’re doing here, but why be so dramatic about it?”
“Did you see their lip though? You don’t think Quinn did that do you?”
“No way. He’s so fucking hot. Why was he even with them? They probably just broke up.”
“Riley said Quinn was in jail…”
“Oh my god!”
Asher flicked his gaze between David and Darlin, asking without words what to do. Darlin was shaking, breaths tight like they were trying not to hyperventilate by taking in as little air as possible. They pushed themselves through the motions of putting away their equipment and taking out the gel and plastic wrap to finish Asher’s tattoo. Both men finally snapped, surging forward. Asher took the antibiotic gel and plastic wrap out of their hands and David gently caught their elbow, pulling them to their feet.
“I’ll clean up and close the shop when they’re done,” Asher said.
David steered Darlin toward the back door, grabbing their jackets off the wall on the way. They didn’t fight him at all and that was somehow just as worrying as the look on their face had been. He had never put hands on Darlin before, not in all the weeks they’d been working there. Darlin wasn’t touchy and he hadn’t missed how they always seemed to keep themselves out of arms reach if possible.
They almost tripped over their own boots when he guided them through the heavy door and out onto the sidewalk along the back of the building. He caught their side to keep them up and they jerked at that contact, like they were injured. It seemed to jar them back to life though, their breath deeper and their gaze flicking around the snow dusted parking lot. “Fuck,” they exhaled.
David handed them their jacket.
They looked at it, wincing before nodding and taking it. “I’ll come back for my shit on Tuesday…” They barely got the words out, voice raw.
“What?” David hadn’t known what to expect from them, but this was definitely not on his list.
Darlin pulled their jacket on, backpedaling a wobbly step away from him. Their head was still down, chin to their chest and hair in their face.
“You’re not fired,” David ground out, pulling his jacket on too but not taking his eyes off them in case their legs gave out. “You looked like you were about to have a panic attack.”
“Sorry,” Darlin muttered, swallowing hard.
David shook his head. He didn’t want an apology. They hadn’t done anything wrong. “You’re okay.”
They looked up at him, surprise so clear across their face. They straightened slowly, seeming to finally fully remember themselves again. “I’m sorry about that… I don’t know why I… It was unprofessional and—”
“Fuck that. And fuck them.”
Darlin blinked, shoulders easing down.
“You’re great at your art and you’re easy to work with. I’d have to be an idiot to fire you even if you’d told them where to shove their questions. You don’t owe them shit and you don’t owe us anything more than exactly what you give.”
Darlin stared, breath finally coming out in a long, easy exhale.
“You’re okay,” he said again. He wanted them to believe it, because fuck he wanted to make it true.
Darlin nodded slowly, like they were trying to.
They stood there together for a while on the cold sidewalk before David finally huffed a thin laugh. “You got me out of closing.”
Darlin smirked. “You’re welcome.”
David flicked his lip ring thoughtfully before asking. “Do you want to come up? We’ve got beer and we can order pizza when the rest of them are off.”
Darlin watched him, their gaze cutting toward the entrance to the apartments that were over the shops.
He’d invited them every weekend to whatever they were doing but Darlin had never taken this long to consider it. He hoped they didn’t think they were obligated. He’d meant it when he said they didn’t owe him anything but the good work they did.
Darlin nodded, hands in their pockets. “Yeah. Sounds good.”
David didn’t make a big deal of it, just nodded and led the way to the door. He’d text Asher when they were upstairs to let him know they were staying in tonight—so he could tell Milo and Sweetheart too.
 -
 It was the longest piercing of Milo’s life.
They were on their phones, looking up Darlin and this guy, Quinn. They exchanged an endless stream of information as they gathered it, pausing on occasion to turn big eyes to him and ask if he knew.
He hadn’t.
He had seen that scar on their lip and known something, but he hadn’t looked them up. None of them had. It wasn’t something they’d discussed or anything, it just hadn’t seemed right. If Darlin wanted to tell them what had happened, maybe they would someday.
But now he knew.
The details were spotty, a domestic violence charge. And then they’d talked to a friend of a friend who had more information…and photos. They groaned at the images and Milo tried not to see them. “They’re saying he actually pulled the ring out! Oh my god, look at those stitches! Why is their face swollen like that?”
Milo saw the photo. He didn’t mean to. Didn’t want to. Their face was swollen like that because someone had beat the shit out of them. There were stitches in their hairline too, and their cheek where another scar now lived.
If he hadn’t already done the piercing by that point, he would have kicked them out. He shouldn’t have brought them back at all after the way Darlin had looked. Was it a betrayal?
“I just can’t believe it. There are always two sides to a story. It’s not like Misfit is a sweetheart. It was probably complicated. Quinn was just so much fun. There’s no way.” His hands shook. He felt Sweetheart watching the whole time from their station across from him. They hadn’t said a word—hadn’t moved—but he felt their eyes on him all the time. It was grounding and comforting, but at the same time added to the mounting unrest.
He was relieved when he walked them back to the lobby and Darlin was gone. Asher was cleaning up their station—uncharacteristically quiet. Had he heard everything? How could he not?
Milo took payment and tip in a haze. He didn’t care if they underpaid. He didn’t care if they paid at all. He wanted them out.
As soon as the door closed, he rounded the counter and threw the lock, slapping the light switch for the front of the shop.
“Babe?” Asher asked, voice low with worry. “You okay?”
Milo wanted to laugh. Of course, he was okay. He wasn’t the one who had someone put them in the hospital. He dragged his hands through his hair and used one of the ties on his wrist to knot it. He nodded, jaw tight.
Asher looked like he understood, nodding back. “David took them outside. We’ll close up.” Asher’s phone plinged in his pocket and he reached down and pulled it out. He was still shirtless, his side shiny where he’d slicked it with gel and stretched plastic wrap over it. His expression lightened with surprised. “They’re upstairs.”
“What?”
“We’re doing beers and pizza at our place. Darlin’s hanging out too.”
Milo’s stomach twisted, thinking of that photo and the flood of gossip mixed with news.
“Want me to say you can’t come? I can make up a reason—” Asher offered.
“No,” Milo said just as quickly, shaking his head. “Fuck no.” He’d been hoping they could get Darlin out of their shell and hanging out with them. Did knowing change that? Absolutely not. And if he bailed, they might think it was with intent. He was already worried he’d crossed some line by working on that person.
He walked through the quiet studio, back to the room with his station. Sweetheart was still standing there, tattooed arms folded tightly against their chest and eyes on him—always on him. That stare was softer now, as soft as Sweetheart could get anyway. “Milo…”
He set his jaw and shook his head. He was fine. He had no right not to be fine. Nothing had fucking happened to him. He went to his station to clean up but then their hand was on his arm. He stopped.
“You’re not him,” they said, a whisper just between them.
Milo cringed. Who did they mean? The newly mentioned Quinn? Or his dad? Because right now he really wanted to hit someone. His hands were curled so tightly that his knuckles ached.
Their fingers hooked around the back of his neck, pulling until his head met theirs. He felt their eyes on him, intense as ever. “Wanting to protect people is different than wanting to hurt people.”
He wasn’t sure right then. He really wanted to hurt someone. Someone he’d never even met. He closed his eyes but it only made that picture of Darlin all fucked up and dazed from that stranger’s phone clearer in his memory.
Sweetheart scratched the back of his neck gently, trying to distract him. “Stop it.”
He dragged a breath and let it out, nodding. Whatever that was, what he’d heard them talking about, that was in the past. There was nothing to do about it now but keep an eye out for Darlin in the future. He winced again. How much of that shit had they overheard? Would they close off even more now that the rest of them knew something about their past? No. They’d finally agreed to hang out with the group tonight.
That was good. That was really good.
“Thanks, Sweetheart,” he said, wrapping both arms around them and hugging them tightly. He pushed his face into their neck and breathed them in. “If anyone ever hit you…” he mumbled, hating even the words.
Sweetheart laughed darkly, giving his hair a little tug. “I’d bury ‘em before you even got the chance.”
He sighed. They said that because they didn’t know what it was like to have someone you loved turn on you like that. He was glad for it. It was fierce and beautiful and he hoped they’d never lose that. As long as he was there, they wouldn’t.
“Are you two cleaning or fucking?” Asher called from the front room. “Because I’m about done out here…”
Sweetheart unraveled from Milo and turned toward the doorway. They started making loud sex sounds.
Milo bit back a laugh and finished cleaning his station while Sweetheart gyrated, calling out Asher’s name in a mock orgasm.
Asher came to lean in the doorway, one pierced eyebrow raised at the scene. “Nice, Sweets…” he said, tone flat with sarcasm but a little smirk pulling at his lip. “At least now I know what you’d sound like if I ever fucked you.”
Sweetheart put their hands on their hips, staring back at him. “And?”
He shrugged.
Sweetheart faked offense, hand flying to their heart. “What? What else could you want, Ash? I’m fucking amazing!”
He shrugged again, smirk back, and walked away to start shutting off the lights.
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racew1nn3rs · 3 months ago
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─ 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘦 𝘷. (𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺) 🍑
⤷ summary: austria. mclaren pr department can't read the room so shit officially hits the fan. at least y/n is getting paid for her troubles. lando thinks he can think his way out of this one 🤣
━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━
"You want us to what?" Y/n asked incredulously.
There is no way. No. Fucking. Way.
"I know this may seem out of the blue, or even slightly unorthodox, however-" Michael started. Thirty-nine years old, head of the McLaren PR Department, her boss, and he thought this was only 'slightly' unorthodox. Right.
"I think we're a little past slightly, don't you think?" Lando muttered from the chair next to her. He wasn't looking at her directly anymore.
She had successfully ignored 127 messages, 53 phone calls, 3 emails, and a handful of indirect messages from Oscar, and he still didn't seem to get the hint. She shot him down once again when he tried to approach her before their meeting, after she had purposefully shown up as soon to the start time as possible to avoid him. Maybe that had been the final straw and he had understood she had no intention of speaking to him.
Lando's eyes met hers and Y/n swallowed down the guilt at his kicked puppy dog look. He was very good at looking pathetic, and she was starting to become skilled at ignoring it.
Not skilled enough.
"I'm well aware this is putting you both in a very precarious position, especially you Y/n considering your career," Michael continued, "but since you two have begun to interact on social media our numbers have nearly tripled. We've increased our social following across all platforms, we've increased engagement, Christ, we've even increased our merch sales. But if you two dated, a real, PR contract-based relationship, the results would be more than we could have hoped for at the start of the project."
"That was the point of hiring me," Y/n said sitting up. Yes, she was annoyed, but at this point who could blame her, "I knew my strategy of personalizing ourselves to the internet would work. I told you guys this would happen, and if we keep to it we could probably still reach these numbers you're looking for. What you're suggesting doesn't seem a bit far to you? A bit too risky?"
"Honestly, Y/n, the fact of the matter is this: we could increase what you've already started. If we go through with this project, we could see a skyrocket in our social media. This could do wonders for the team, especially given the results this season. No offense, Lando."
The Brit seemed to be dragged out of his thoughts at the comment and he simply shrugged and waved his hands impassively. Y/n intentionally ignored his disregard for the situation, because jumping across her seat and choking him would not solve any of her current problems- even if she really, really wanted to choke him.
"Do you understand what this can do to my career? This would look so unprofessional for me. The point of a PR relationship is that it doesn't really seem like a fake relationship. It would seriously decrease my options if or when I leave McLaren if it seems like I date my coworkers. You're basically condemning me to a life where I would never be hired again. I won't do it. I can't do this." Y/n said shakily, before standing up. It felt like she couldn't breathe, and it's not like she could turn to Lando for comfort in this because they weren't even friends. Not that he seemed all that bothered anyway. Lando seemed perfectly comfortable staring into space like the airhead he was.
Zak, who had been standing calmly in the corner of the room leaned toward her and squeezer her shoulder comfortingly. She had no doubt he knew how uncomfortable this situation must be for her. Unfortunately for her, he just didn't seem to care. Or at least not enough.
Michael sighed and stood up as well, walking around the desk he was sitting at so he was directly in front of her and Lando and sit on the desk itself.
"I hear your concerns Y/n, I really do, but you cannot truly expect that we wouldn't have some safety measures in place for your protection, can you? When I said this would be a contractual relationship, I meant it. There would be physical evidence that you were not violating any workplace policies, and were instead participating in a project that involved the relationship you would be a part of. We would provide any future employers with proof of this, given that they are willing to sign an NDA. You would not be left at risk in your future endeavors," Michael explained sympathetically. Y/n couldn't help but feel the insincerity of his words in comparison to his face.
They understood they were putting her in an uncomfortable position. They understood they were endangering her career no matter how many contracts she signed. And yet here they were, asking anyways.
"And if I just don't want to?" She asked and she heard Zak sigh from behind her. He took his hand off her shoulder.
Oh.
"Then I'm afraid we've reached a standstill here, haven't we?" Michael said. She inhaled sharply and looked down.
Oh. They were going to fire her. Of course.
"Are you serious?" Y/n finally turned to look at Lando. At some point in between when she had last looked at him and since she had begun to have her job dangled in front of her face he had stood up. He looked angry, not that he hadn't looked some variation of hurt, angry, and sad since he arrived.
"You can't seriously be threatening to fire her, right in front of me, over a project that no one in their right mind would agree to without any incentive. You do realize you haven't really offered her anything that would make her agree don't you? Do you do this to all of your employees or just the ones who carry nearly an entire department on their back?" Lando spit out angrily. He wasn't yelling, but he had sure as hell left the station of speaking calmly a while ago.
"Lando," Zak started through grit teeth, but Michael held up a hand.
"You're right Lando, I'm sorry, let me-"
"Why are you apologizing to me? I'm not the one whose job you were just threatening."
"You're right," Michael cleared his throat and returned back to his chair, "I'm sorry Y/n. Truly. I don't think we've approached the topic correctly at all. Let me start over. There is, of course, some incentive for you."
Y/n sighed, and looked over at Lando. Like usual, he was already looking at her. He was letting her take the reigns of the situation, he was letting her be in charge.
Because he respects you, a small part of her brain whispered and she closed her eyes and breathed in. She wasn't thinking about that anymore. She couldn't think about him anymore.
She sat down and stared at Michael. He could continue, but that didn't mean she would agree. Lando sat down as well, glaring at Zak over his shoulder until the older man walked away from behind Y/n's chair and back to the inconspicuous corner he had been in when they started.
"We had some extra money allotted in the budget," Michael started uncomfortably, pushing his glasses up his nose. His voice was wavering and uncertain, making his British accent even thicker. Y/n seemed to have an affinity for upsetting British men this week. Call it American reparations or whatever, but she was finding the prospect quite enjoyable.
"There would be a salary increase for you, should you choose to participate in the project." Michael stated, as he shifted some papers around on the desk. He uncapped a pen and wrote down a number on a piece of company branded legal pad paper. He folded the paper and slid it across the desk. Y/n, who had begun rubbing her temples irritatedly, closed her eyes as she sighed through her nose before reaching a hand out to look. Lando's hand slid in front of hers and grasped the paper before she could.
Her eyes widened in surprise and she looked at him incredulously as he unfolded the paper Michael had passed.
"Lando," Michael began and Lando cut the man off with a scoff. He crumpled the paper and tossed it in the trash.
"You're asking the girl to put her career on the line and that's the amount that you offer?" Lando scoffed. Michael continued to try to speak but Lando held his hand up.
"Let's break this down properly before we make anymore stupid offers," Lando said, voice dripping the arrogance that typically bothered Y/n the most.
"You're asking her to stick out her neck for a PR project that may not work the way you're hoping, you'll be expecting her to keep performing her current work functions while also appearing at additional McLaren events as my partner. On top of all of that, you'll probably also want us to be making public appearances on days and times where she wouldn't be working at all anyway," Y/n thought briefly that this might be the most serious she had ever heard him sound.
"You also can't expect anyone to believe any of this if she doesn't also behave like we're dating in public, and expecting physical affection with someone she isn't actually dating is a lot to ask of someone who isn't a robot, if you weren't already aware," Lando stated patronizingly.
"And that's not even acknowledging the multiple hostile workplace environment policies you've broken in this meeting alone. I really hope you're not expecting her to sign a contract right now without a lawyer on top of that, considering that's illegal." Lando finished, staring at Michael with more anger she had ever seen him show.
"So maybe we should try a much bigger number," Lando said, leaning forward in his chair, "might I recommend doubling it?"
Why was he doing this. She hadn't even heard him out since their argument, ignoring any attempts at conversation, and now he was fighting tooth and nail in a room where no one else was defending her. Including the CEO of the company, who quite literally held his job in his hands.
Maybe that's just his charm. That he never thinks things through. That he doesn't think at all, whether it hurts someone else or himself in the process or not. It's just in his nature to fight first and ask questions later. She couldn't decide whether that was something she could handle or not.
Michael cleared his throat and wrote a number down quickly, handing it to Lando this time instead of her. Lando looked at the number and turned to look at her, nodding and handing the paper over.
Y/n fumbled with the paper slightly before opening it and exhaling sharply through her nose. Right in front of her eyes was a one, a five, and 5 whopping zeroes.
One and a half million dollars. Lando had just gotten her one and a half million dollars.
"This," Y/n started with a shaking voice, before clearing it with a harsh swallow. This was more money than she had ever seen before in her life.
"This is what you're offering me instead of my current salary?" She asked uncertainly. She was getting a headache from the tension of the furrow of her brows.
"No of course not," Lando started, never looking away from Michael.
"This is a bonus they're offering in addition to your current salary, right?" He narrowed his eyes at Michael. Michael nodded aggressively.
"Yes of course. This would be a bonus for participating in the project. You would be receiving your current salary as well for the work you were already participating in," Michael assured and his shoulders slumped in relief when Lando looked away to finally look at her.
"You don't have to make any decisions now," Lando began gently, eyes visibly softening, but Y/n could hardly hear him.
Half a million dollars would be more than enough to pay off her student loans. One and a half million dollars was more money than she even knew what to do with.
"I'll do it," She agreed.
One and a half million dollars, she reassured herself as Lando smiled at her softly. She smiled back. She was only doing this for the money; the one and a half million dollars.
Lando ignored the fluttering in his stomach as she smiled at him for the first time all day. He cheered internally. Who cared about money, this would be perfect. He would make sure to be perfect.
Lando would be the best fake boyfriend she could ever ask for, starting now.
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liked by mclaren, lilyzneimer, and 38,890 others
ynusername austria views hit different this time of year 🥴
19,208 comments
user1 you need a bark cause i can dog real loud
user2 so close op, but not quite!
user1 ... i'm too embarrassed to try again atp
user3 A SOFT LAUNCH?? ON THIS FINE TUESDAY EVENING??
user4 i HATE happy couples, they ruin my mood fr
user5 no deadass, like i hope y'all find out you're cousins
user4 she's dating a m*n i feel so sick
user5 the white men got her 🧎‍♀️
user6 you know who else is in austria 👀
user7 i want to tell you to be fr... but lowkey that does look like lando
user8 BE SO FR YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE HIS FACE
user9 i can't believe i'm lany/n truthing in god's year of 2023, but i am
user10 maybe lany/n is the friends we made along the way
user9 don't patronize me bitch iT'S RIGHT THEREEEEE
landonorris what book are you reading 🤨
ynusername stop acting like you know how to read
landnorris i didn't want to know anyways 😀👍
user11 damn girl they pay you to do this 😫 i don't even get vacation days
ynusername hi i'm saul goodman. did you know that you have rights? the constitution says you do. and so do i ☝️
user12 going on a date on a work trip, are we? 🫣
ynusername let's just call it an employee outing (;
user12 WAHT DOES THAT MEAN Y/N???
user13 OH MY GOD???
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liked by oscarpiastri, maxfewtrell, and 40,103 others
mclaren lando norris p4? more likely than you think (ignore oscar, an intern let him out of his cage again) 😞
user14 he looks so happy, no one speak to me ever again
user15 it's that y/n effect
oscarpiastri quick question! WHAT THE FUCK.
oscarpiastri i am NOT an animal 😡 i don't need a cage
lilyzneimer DON'T YELL AT HER OSCAR 🫵 I'LL HAVE THE INTERN PUT YOU BACK.
mclaren yeah oscar 🤨 watch it
oscarpiastri this isn't a funny joke 😔 this isn't haha funny
user16 lando's best results after there are rumors they've started dating... hmmmm
user17 omg not y'all starting already
user16 what can i say the fanfics write themselves
user18 oscar fans can never catch a break, huh?
user19 i knew that last post was too good to be true
user20 @/oscarpiastri what happened to bribery??
oscarpiastri sorry guys, i pissed her off 😓
user21 ig since lando's off the shit list someone had to take his place
landonorris i got p4 for you admin 🤭
mclaren this is workplace harassment
landonorris ):
mclaren 🎻🤏 (it's the world's smallest violin playing the world's saddest song)
landonorris alright, fuck you ig
user23 lando flirting in the comments and then getting turned down in the most humiliating manner, what's new
landonorris ... it wasn't that humiliating
user23 🎻🤏
landonorris STOP OT NOW.
user24 i know y/n's boyfriend is reading these comments and weeping
user25 boy oh boy do i have news for you op
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liked by user26, landonorris, and 21,844 others
f1wags Various sources have reported seeing Y/n L/n, the current McLaren social media manager and McLaren F1 Driver Lando Norris together across Austria during the GP weekend, and celebrating after. Various kisses and intimate interactions were reported by our sources, including the ones pictured above. What do we think about this new workplace romance?
9,450 comments
user26 IS THIS REAL???? IS THIS REALLLLLL??????
user27 THE PICTURES ARE THERE BUT I STILL DON'T BELIEVE IT
user28 they're so cute, it almost makes me forget that this is the most insane thing i'll see all year
user29 bro beat the norizz allegations
user30 THE KISS?? THE BEACH PICTURES??? THE DINNER HUG??? OH THEY'RE IN LOVE IN LOVE
user31 they grow up so fast
user32 he's not hot enough for her, next question!
user33 be so serious 🙄
mclaren zoo wee mama
user34 THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF????
mclaren hubba hubba
user35 from the team account is diabolical
user36 and they say bullying isn't a love language
user37 she hated on him so hard he fell in love with her
landonorris damn right she did
user38 lando try not to be down bad challenge *impossible* *never seen before*
user39 oh i know the twitter users that have been getting hate for weeks for saying the truth are MADDDD
user40 they couldn't have been more obvious, we've been in denial
user41 the eyes chico, they never lie
user42 oh i know zak brown is throwing up over this pr nightmare
user43 right like i think people are forgetting she's an employee 💀
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liked by carlossainz55, maxverstappen1, and 77,954 others
landonorris post-p4 cooldown 🧡
25,001 comments
oscarpiastri what's all this then 🧍‍♂️
oscarpiastri i really love how you're so good about telling me things 😮‍💨
user44 someone free oscar from lany/n bro
user45 this was NOT on my 2024 bingo card
user46 i don't think anyone could have predicted lando having rizz
ynusername so true
landonorris HEY.
danielricciardo i wasn't familiar with your game lando
landonorris STOP HITTIG ON HER SHES MINE
danielricciardo damn lil bro no one is taking her from you
user47 "she's mine" down horrendous once again
user48 bro was born down horrendous i fear
carlossainz55 i can't believe you didn't tell me lando! congratulations
landonorris it was a secret you muppet 🙄 but thank you
maxverstappen1 you too make a great couple! congrats mate 🤝
ynusername this was the most max verstappen way you could have said this
maxverstappen1 still bullying me i see 😔
lilyzneimer CUTIE PATOOTIES <3 oh and hi lando
landonorris can't even be mad cause they are too damn cute 😫
lilyzneimer good answer!
bsfuser1 congratulations i guess (she was mine first) 🙄
landnorris thanks! (we can share)
bsfuser2 hurt her and i kill you!!! so cute together tho <3
landonorris you lot are fucking terrifying!! appreciate it (:
zbrownceo Congratulations you two! Can't imagine a better pair 🧡💪
landonorris Thanks Zak!!!
ynusername you gave cali kisses so i guess you're alright <3
landonorris as many kisses as my girls want
user49 MY GIRLS KMSSSS
user50 cat dad cat dad cat dad ‼️
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that's the end of act 1!!! part 2 coming shortly <3 i'm moving into college and starting classes so if updates slow down a bit just know i'm getting things out as quickly as i can ((: hope you enjoyed and feel free to leave your thoughts!!
-
𝙩𝙖𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩
@lemon-lav @slutforpopculture @m4rt10ne @urfavsgf @sadsierra2 @96jnie @sltwins @poppyflower-22 @alliumiae @livelovesports @liberty-barnes @the-holy-trinity-l @iliwyss @awritingtree @redpool @elliotts1one @velentine @chaoticmessneutralplease @5sospenguinqueen @charizznorizz @2pagenumb @mxdi0 @cwiphswmwasohmm @tremendousstarlighttragedy @lnspipedrm @itseightbeats @tinycoffeeroom @woozarts @personwhoisther @a-beaverhausen @love-simon @annabellelee @ravisinghs-wife @chezmardybum @greantii @weekendlusting @monserelates @sapphiccloud @halleest @deamus-liv @gigigreens @morenofilm @laneyspaulding19 @lanireadss @dear-fifi @moldyshorts1997 @oliviarodrigostan13 @eugene-emt-roe @ilivbullyingjeongin @im-a-ghost666
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tofixtheshadows · 7 months ago
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You guys really need to stop and consider the ways you're talking about Kabru I am dead fucking serious. Like I know that flattening characters is just what fandom does to a certain extent, but Kabru's actual personality is getting lost to the fandom hivemind insisting that he's aggressive/cruel/sociopathic/hateful, and these are particularly concerning takes to see leveled at the only brown character in the main cast day after day. "My poor sweet golden child Laios needs to be protected from this scary brown man" is not a good look! Like, it's very telling that the bulk of the hate and bad faith readings are reserved for Toshiro and Kabru. Everyone else's flaws get to be discussed and validated and forgiven (or erased), meanwhile people are straight making up things to be mad about with Toshiro and Kabru but patting themselves on the back for being smart.
The worst part is how undeserved it all is. I'm trying to lay off anime-onlys because we're still kind of in the red herring stage of getting to know Kabru, but I would still like to gently suggest that even if you think Kabru is up to something, you don't gave to get in the tags of every fan creator's post and bring up how you hate him or You Can Tell he's totally evil. Sometimes I think Kabru's blue eyes give people license to say things about his appearance that they know would sound completely racist otherwise, but referring to his blue eyes acts as a get-out-of-racism free card. The jokes about the dog with brown contacts are getting old, by the way.
For people who have read the manga, it's disappointing. Kabru is one of the most complex and important characters in the story, and if you base your interpretation of him and all your fandom interactions on shallow first impressions you are completely missing out.
I know part of this is because Dungeon Meshi is a comedy, but the story also wants to be taken seriously. For example, it's admittedly really funny when Chilchuck calls Laios "sick in the head", but that doesn't change the fact that the way Chilchuck casually belittles Laios caused him to hide the fact that he was "hallucinating" from his friends for weeks. Those feelings matter.
Like, this
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is funny.
But this?
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Is not. This is just a very clear example of a brown boy with PTSD. As someone else with PTSD, just looking at this fucking sucks, man.
The only reason why Kabru thinks about killing Laios is because he is in the middle of a flashback. He's struggling through a panic attack. If he truly wanted to kill Laios because he's violent or because he finds Laios inherently annoying, he wouldn't otherwise talk with Laios normally. Notice how he doesn't act this way at any other point in the story- it's just because he's triggered by monsters. Even when he's thinking about his plans to "deal with" Laios later, he's reluctant to actually kill him and only considers it to prevent another tragedy. Despite his deadly skills, Kabru relies far more on "soft" power- insight, persuasion, diplomacy. He's a rare example of a character who absolutely is, or at least can be, manipulative, but seems to use his abilities for good. He's not a pathological liar, he isn't looking down on everyone behind a smile. He's someone who is extremely emotionally intelligent, and he's willing to put aside all his own basic wants and needs to stop the cycle of dungeons devouring humans.
I'm going to cut a potential thesis on his character short and just give some examples of things that fandom should consider about his personality more:
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Racism in fandom isn't just about whitewashing in fan art, or using racial slurs. The insidiousness of bad faith readings, reductions to racist tropes, lack of fan content for characters of color, and dismissal of a character's complexity are far more common. You can believe yourself to be completely neutral or even positive about a character and still churn out low-grade bile about them into fandom's collective unconscious. Fandom reflects real life.
And I have been around fandom long enough to see how these behaviors (mostly from my fellow white fans) affect fans of color, how it makes a fandom feel hostile and unwelcome to them. It's fun to make jokes and memes, I'm absolutely not saying that everything needs to be a deeply nuanced take, but we need to be careful that it doesn't veer into toxicity. Please think about how our contributions to fandom come across, and what sort of vibes they cultivate in this communal space.
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luveline · 11 months ago
Note
your bombshell!reader x spencer is feeding me so well, i'm obsessed!! SJSJS since we've seen reader jealous, is it possible to have a fic where it's spencer that's jealous?
thank u!! fem!reader
Your outfit today is simple. Pencil skirt, dark stockings, hair pristine. The thing that catches Spencer's attention, holds it between two squeezing palms, is the shirt and blazer ensemble you've styled. It's cut to fit, sleek and dark and hard to look away from. 
You brush past the back of Hotch's chair with a sigh, clearly unaware of the attention you're garnering from across the way. “What's wrong with him?” you ask. 
“The same thing as usual,” Hotch says. 
“It's not like we've ever instantly solved a case. Gideon knows this takes time.”
Elle pokes her tongue into her cheek, eyes flared wide. She says a lot without saying anything, flicking through the police files in front of her dispassionately.
“How come you stayed?”
It takes Spencer a moment to realise you're talking to him. “What?” 
“You didn't go with Gideon?” You hold your chin in your hand. “Not getting along anymore?” 
Spencer isn't not getting along with his mentor. He would've accompanied Gideon to meet with a past mass murderer, only you're here, and so he'd found unrelated reasons to stay. 
“We're fine,” Spencer says, not wanting to say more and give himself away. 
“Well, he took Morgan.” You pout, your voice dripping to a wistful whine. “What am I gonna do now without him? None of you guys ever wanna play with me.” 
Hotch smiles to himself. Spencer's stomach ties itself in knots, a tight noose that grows tighter still when you notice his expression and lean in toward your superior. “What's that smile for, Hotchner?” 
“Don't you have emails to look through?”  
You hold your cheek in your hand lightly, fingertips digging into the soft of your cheek. Your smile is like a kick to the chest, achingly sweet on such a pretty face. “No…” Your pinky digs into the corner of your mouth. “I don't remember that being on my agenda today.” 
“Consider it an addition.” 
Is Hotch flirting back? Spencer isn't sure why that strikes him so hard. Maybe because Hotch would actually have a chance with you if he wanted it; your flirting with Hotch is more real than if it were with Spencer, because Spencer is a twenty-something know-it-all who still dresses like his mom buys his clothes. 
“It's a lot of emails, boss,” you say. 
“You have time. Start with the ones sent by Hughes and work your way down.” Hotch slides the login information across the desk into your reach. 
You look at it unhappily. Look up at him. 
Just being looked at by you is a full body experience. Whenever you look at him, he begs himself to play it cool as Hotch is now, to treat it as the affectionate playfulness of a friend rather than serious flirting. He'd have a better chance of being taken seriously by you if he didn't blush whenever you so much as breathed in the same room. 
He wishes he could respond calmly like Hotch. (He wishes you'd flirt with him and him alone. He buries that deep.) 
Envy eats at his hands. Pins and needles he tries to shake away. His movements draw your attention, and your smile worsens, which is to say sweetens, like seeing him again is a treat for the eyes. 
“You'll help me, won't you, baby?” you ask.
He goes a little blind. 
Hotch and Elle watch the encounter with similar parts pity and amusement. 
“You can read through them so quickly, I could really use your…” —you drag your fingertips down your face until your nails are at your jaw— “expertise.” 
“Reid has his own tasks–” 
“I can help,” Spencer interrupts. 
You drop your hand from your face altogether. “Thank you. Have I mentioned how much I missed you while I was away?” 
“Only five times,” Elle says under her breath. 
“They try so very hard to keep us apart. It's not fair.” 
Because unlike Reid, you don't have multiple degrees. You're still learning, and you can't be here permanently, but your talent, your knack for profiling, is unignorable. You're guaranteed a place on the team as soon as you can prove yourself to Strauss. Without a Gideon to vouch for you, that could take a while, and yet you're never jealous of Spencer skipping a few hurdles to get here. 
If anything, you admire him. “They don't understand our bond, that's all. And together we're hard to beat. Isn't that right, Spence?” 
Perhaps Spencer shouldn't be jealous. You don't call Hotch by anything so saccharine, after all. 
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jinjeriffic · 9 months ago
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DPxDC and OOC
I've had a couple of posts cross my dash recently where people lament that a lot of the dpxdc fandom writes characters very OOC and how we're proliferating these characterizations among each other. I figured I'd add my own two cents.
I think the fundamental discrepancy comes from trying to reconcile two canons with vastly different tones.
Danny Phantom is a comedy superhero show operating on cartoon logic. Why do ghost experts Jack and Maddie never realize their own kid is a ghost? Why is the status quo restored at the end of every episode? Why does Danny shoot an ectoblast out of his butt that one time? Because it's funny. It's cartoony action fun where the plot is resolved in 22 minutes, there's never any lasting consequences and it's aimed at kids.
DC meanwhile wants to be taken Seriously. Heroes get beaten within an inch of their life, traumatized, killed and even the good guys do messed up things (often to each other). Yes there's action and puns, but also horrific violence, actions have consequences and it's (mostly) aimed at adults. When a main character dies the comics show their family and friends mourning and things are very dramatic. Even though at this point we, the audience can pretty much expect every death to be undone within 2-5 years of publishing, but I digress.
So how do we, the fanfic/fanart creators reconcile these differences when we make our crossovers? We either make DP more serious and somber, or we make DC more comedic.
Suddenly we have a DP verse where the Fentons' bumbling obliviousness is elevated to serious neglect or outright abuse. The GiW are no longer a minor annoyance, they are a serious threat with genocidal plans and a desire to vivisect the protagonist. When actions have consequences, we imagine Danny as dealing with serious PTSD from having to be a solo superhero and witnessing his family's death that one time (and maybe also getting vivisected). Danny is not just a teen superhero, he's now the Ghost King with serious responsibility on his shoulders.
On the flipside, if we make DC more comedic we tend to exaggerate character traits for comedic effect, focus more on the interpersonal dynamics (especially the Batfam) and have the characters act more casual and silly. Suddenly the Batfam goes from a group of seriously messed up individuals who have trouble communicating with each other and fight all the time to Batdad "Kids if you don't stop killing criminals you won't get dessert ffs" Bruce. Violence is played for laughs instead of taken seriously. Yeah they fight, but they still Love Each Other.
And THIS IS PERFECTLY FINE. It's transformative work! And trying to reconcile these disparate fandoms is hard! Fandom is a labor of love. We do it for free. We do it for our own entertainment. And no one is forcing you to read fics you don't like. DLDR and all that.
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yoyomomiko · 8 days ago
Note
Can I request jealous Daisuke hcs?? Maybe even the other way around where the reader is jealous :D!!! I LOVE your hcs for Daisuke!!
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Pairings: Daisuke x F!reader (gender not mentioned, but that's what I had in mind while writing this)
Warnings: cringe, the SMALLEST mention of marking, not proofread, probably contains grammar mistakes, english isn't my first language!!
(A/N): TYSMMMM🙌 The way you READ MY MIND because I've been thinking of doing Daisuke jealousy headcanons for some time now, I just kinda waited for the perfect opportunity😋 Also I'm so sorry this is a bit boring and kinda short, I wanted it to be longer😔 -> m.list
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★HE'S JEALOUS
Alright so I feel like Daisuke would be more quiet when jealous. He's gonna feel insecure and upset.
BUT, I feel like he can also be very loud or simply show the fact that he's jealous.
I mean he'd throw his hand around your waist, kiss you and make it known that you're his.
"Whatcha talking about?" "This is one of my old friends, we just wanted to catch up." "Yeah, very fun, babe, but didn't you say we're gonna be late?"
Please, REASSURE THIS MAN that you love him and ONLY him.
Make sure to praise him too😔
His confidence might get a bit ruined, and probably feel dull the rest of the day, still the same Daisuke, just a bit less happy.
SO THAT'S WHY YOU NEED TO ASSURE HIM THAT YOU'RE HIS AND HE'S YOURS‼️
You can literally do anything to give him a boost, buy him ice cream and he's gonna forgive you (you didn't do anything wrong but whatevs🙄)
Btw he's into marking just to throw that out there
★YOU'RE JEALOUS
Daisuke's gonna find this a bit amusing, probably is gonna tease you the rest of the day.
If you're not having it, he's gonna apologize PROFUSELY.
Imagine you don't forgive him tho like he's gonna feel so bad and guilty (who WOULDN'T forgive him)
He's talking to a random stranger, giving them directions, although he's smiling a bit too much their way, and he's also a little too close to them.
The moment they're done talking you cross your arms and ignore him, or you can just express yourself😢
"What's with the face?" "Nothing." "Wait, don't tell me you're jealous..." "Maybe I am, maybe I'm not." "No way! Are you seriously jealous? You know I love you!"
He WILL be laughing at first, just to let you know.
Daisuke also WILL reassure you, the moment you get back home or whatever he's gonna be all over you, kissing you and whispering whatever sweet stuff comes up in his mind.
He understands the feeling, and doesn't want you to be upset or mad, especially at him.
He's SO gonna brighten up your mood, with anything you want. He's probably gonna buy you something as an apology, even if he didn't do anything😢
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★yoyomiko ★miko
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pretty-little-mind33 · 3 months ago
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chaser!James Potter x chaser!fem!reader
Summary: James is threatened by how good you are at Quidditch which means he hates you. And what emotion is closer to hate than love?
Genre: Angsty Fluff, 'rivals' to lovers <3
Warnings: James is seriously a dick in the beginning, teasing, slight bullying, swearing, fighting, social class differences, reader is an only child, didn't really understand how Quidditch Captains are appointed but bare with me <3
~ finally finished this! loved this ask anon! thank you, my lovely! ~
JAMES POTTER MASTERLIST
James Potter is sprawled across the large, maroon, couch in the center of the Gryffindor Common room, his arms draped over the cushions as his legs lay across Sirius Black's lap.
Sirius, who would probably mind more if he wasn't as drunk as his best friend. 
"I mean, fuck me, she wasn't even that good and McGonagall saw her and still looked at her like she'd just hung the moon in the sky!" James exclaims, his ears burning as he recalls Quidditch tryouts that morning. 
He's pissed. 
"You're just annoyed that she just started and now has a chance at Captain because Mini liked her so much," Sirius points out, which earns him a harsh swat on the top of his head.
James's face sours and he restrains himself from whining like a petulant child. Sirius was right, he was mad because you gave him a run for his money and no one has done that until now. 
This was supposed to be his year. McGonagall loved him (mostly)! The Captain position was basically promised to him since his second year and now you've come around and ruined this for him! 
"She's seriously not even that good, it's infuriating," James lies and looks around the small gathering they're having. He knows everyone can hear him but he doesn't care. "And she's so fucking annoying," he sounds bitter, "she's always talking everyone's ears off— and have you seen her stupid hair? She wore those fucking space buns just to make herself look cute, I swear!" He lifts himself off the couch for a moment, his arms raising in exasperation, and then lets out a sigh. 
"That is usually the reason girls do their hair, James, yes," Remus interrupts from the floor where he's reading his book, his back leaning against the couch. 
"Shut up," James grumbles and slumps back down. "I don't want her on the team. She's a nuisance already." 
"Speaking of," Peter adds, his voice smaller as he glances towards the stairs to the girls' dorms. James whips his head around and his eyes narrow. You're walking towards the small gathering with some friends. 
You're dressed in a Quidditch sweater that is only slightly oversized as the sleeves cover your hands. You're blissfully unaware of how much James Potter hates you so when you see him staring, you assume he wants to talk to you. You liked his company during tryouts. He was funny.
You'd always found him funny. 
So, you walk over with a smile and James struggles to sit up. He's very obviously sloshed. 
"Hello, Potter," you say and your smile widens. "This is Jane and that's Gabrielle," you introduce your friends. "I enjoyed try-outs, you were amazing. If I'm honest, I've always admired you during games. You're so talented," you feel yourself rambling but you're smiling too much to stop yourself, "I'm so happy we're gonna be on the same team now! I think we should–" 
James cuts you off, a mean smirk on his lips as he looks at his friends and the students around you, "What did I say? A little chatterbox this one is," he quips, not completely unaware of how harsh his words are even in his drunken state. 
Your hands fall at your sides, and the wind feels like it's been knocked from your lungs at his words when you realize he's making fun of you. You look at your friends and they stare at James with pronounced frowns.
"Oh," you whisper, but then you add, "That's not very nice, Potter." 
A little surprised you'd had the guts to stand up to him, James retorts instantly. "Yeah? Is it now, Y/l/n?" He sounds mocking again and you don't understand why. 
Your friends pull on your sleeve. "C'mon, Y/n, he's a prick," they turn you around, feeling how hurt you are as they walk away from James and his friends. 
"Classy, James, real classy," Remus mutters under his breath. 
And as awful as sober James might admit it is, he feels like he'd won something against you. 
* * *
You can't understand why James seems to hate you as much as he does. 
You've never been mean to him or done anything to harm him— on the contrary, you've only ever spoken highly of him and you know you've made a point of showing him that you trust him as a player when you're practicing. You want him to trust you too. 
And still, James hates you and he makes that very clear. 
He turns anything into a competition when it comes to you and it's obvious he takes pleasure in making you feel like shit.
As the days turn into weeks, you feel hopeless and even now you find yourself sitting alone on the grass during breaks, adjusting your uniform so you look busy as you hold in your tears. 
You can hear James's cruel whispers about you to your teammates, purposefully creating rifts between you and them so you'll feel even more alone.
"She's so desperate," James's mockery causes another ache in your stomach and you chew on your lip so hard you're afraid you'll draw blood. You try not to listen to him as the whistle blows and the practice game starts again. 
You're not on James's team this time–which means he either ignores you completely or targets you over anyone. As he hovers near you, you realize this morning it's the latter. 
Maria Baker throws you the Quaffle and just as she does, you can sense James coming. You avoid his shoulder just in time and, with a huff, you score into the nearest hoop.
This just infuriates James even more and ups his game—which means the next time you have the Quaffle, he flies up to your shoulder again and pushes you hard to the side. He jabs his elbow into your ribs, purposefully playing dirty. 
You wince. "O-ow, James, that hurts," you hiss, focusing on staying in the air as James rough-houses with you.
Your anger builds now and you shove him back, almost slipping from your broom as you try and defend yourself.
The Quaffle falls from your arms as James hits your shoulder with his again and you gasp. You expect him to rush to the ball and continue the game but he's furious from you shoving him so he grabs one of your braids and pulls. 
You feel yourself fall from your broom as you cry in pain and you turn your body, clutching the end of James's uniform and, with a grunt from him, you're suddenly both plummeting to the ground. 
You roll onto your stomach, falling onto James's chest as his arms automatically wrap around your back and he groans, looking up at you as you practically straddle his lap. Your head is throbbing from where he'd pulled your hair, your left braid messier than your right, and pure fury flashes in your eyes. 
You lean over James, grabbing a handful of his curls and you pull. "What the bloody hell is your problem? How do you like it, hm?! You insufferable jerk!" 
James doesn't take too kindly to this and he grabs your wrists, flipping you over so you're the one under him. His mum had told him never to hit a girl but oh does he want to hit you right now. You're staring up at him with that look he hates—the one that makes him feel all fluttery in his stomach.
You're struggling against his grip, grass in your hair. James's cheeks must be just as covered in dirt as yours are and his shoulder aches from the way he'd fallen. 
"Potter! Y/l/n!" The whistle blows and the current Captain, Ines Clarke, runs up with McGonagall behind her. She'd seen the commotion from inside and seemed more than furious as she rushed over.
Some of your teammates follow, including Sirius Black who grips James's collar and pulls him off you. You hear Sirius hiss, "Prongs!! What in Godric's name is wrong with you?!" and then McGonagall pulls your attention to her. 
Ines helps you up, looking concerned but then turns her attention to James. McGonagall walks over and when she sees the mess James has made of you, she frowns. "Are you alright, Miss Y/l/n?"
You nod, your lips pressed tightly as you see a bunch of your teammates have gathered around James as he rolls his shoulder. You look at your broom, which lies broken on the grass, and your eyes water. McGonagall senses your distress and she glances at James. 
"James Potter!" She suddenly snaps her dainty fingers and James is next to her in seconds, both hands gripping his only slightly damaged broom. 
It had been better quality than yours anyway. 
His nervous eyes dart from McGonagall to you as he takes you in. You stare at him, unable to look away from how messy you've made his naturally tousled hair and you wonder if grass and dirt stick to your cheeks just as they do to James'. 
"This," McGonagall points in between you both, "isn't how we do things here—you know this better than anyone, Mr. Potter. Your behavior is unacceptable." she reprimands him sternly and then looks at you, "and Miss Y/l/n, no matter how other teammates provoke you, you don't have the right to lay your hands on them either."
"But–" 
"No. No more buts." McGonagall ignores both your protests as she looks down at your broom. "You need to learn how to behave like a team."
She thinks for a moment. "Tomorrow morning, you'll travel to Hogsmeade so Miss Y/l/n can replace her broom. Mr. Potter, you'll help her without any complaints, and neither of you better step foot on the pitch again until you've worked out whatever this feud is." 
Your eyes widen. You want to tell McGonagall you cannot buy a new broom right now, but she clearly doesn't have anyexcuses about her new team bonding exercise. This means, much to your dismay, you end up waiting for James early the next morning, hugging your arms around you as you pick at the wool on your sweater. 
James is ten minutes late. You want to kill him. 
"Oi," his voice calls from behind you, irritatingly nonchalant. You turn and see he's also wearing his Quidditch sweater—which means you're now unintentionally matching—and a pair of casual trousers. James sends you a lopsided smirk, pushing his hands into his pockets as he sways on his feet almost awkwardly. "Why so gloomy, newb?" he mocks, the nickname rolling cruelly from his tongue.
You scrunch up your nose and spin around, walking in front of him as you clutch your purse. You don't want to give him a reaction and have him mock you the entire way into town. Instead, you both walk in silence, taking in the morning air and the sound of the birds.
Occasionally your purse will hit James's hip and he'll frown, opening to say another snarky comment until he sees a keychain; the one you have of Olive Gnats, a famous chaser from the Montrose Magpies.
"Oh, Gnats, I like her too—" he finds himself admitting before he can remind himself he hates you. 
You startle and clutch your keychain, wanting to hide it from him but then you look down and then back up at James. "O-oh, yeah, she's my favorite player. Her technique is incomparable."
"Seen her match last year?"
"'Course," you say, your tone less on edge now that you're talking about something you clearly love, and the rambling you do so much kicks in, "I would watch her every game ever since I was six years old. Have around ten posters in my room at home, some are old now but—I- I studied her moves when I would play around with my mum and dad—they also played in school—that's how they met—" You cut yourself off, James's earlier taunts ringing in your head. 
Your rambling is ignored as curiously overpowers him and James asks, "You have no siblings to play with?"
You shake your head. "Nope. Only child."
James's hazel eyes soften and he feels a funny feeling in his chest. "Oh, m-me too. Has its perks and its downfalls, y'know?" he whispers as he looks at you from the corner of his eye. His heart pounds.
The sun hits your skin just perfectly and your hair smells like cinnamon shampoo. James feels drawn to you again—just like he had in the beginning—and he wants to stop himself but when you laugh at his comment, he feels like an arrow has just shot his heart. 
"Oh yeah, it certainly does," you sound guarded again and James can't even be upset.
It's his fault you're like this around him.
He opens the door for you when you enter Quality Quidditch Supplies and the little bell rings. Instantly, you're drawn to the newest broom—displayed with polished wood and improved flying qualities—but you turn your head, knowing instantly you can't pay for a broom like that—
"Hey, look at this one," James's excitement tugs at your heart and you walk over, standing beside him as you can't help but admire the broom up close. "It feels amazing," James says as he runs his hand over the smooth wood. He's grinning. "This is the one, isn't it?"
You bite your cheek. You want it to be.
"I don't know, I–haven't seen the others," you whisper, avoiding James's eyes.
"What? What are you talking about? This one is the best by far, you aren't gonna find a better broom."
"I want to look around," you whisper, looking at the price of this broom, and your heart sinks.
"Y/n, this is ridiculous—"
"James, stop," you snap, very clearly annoyed. You can't tell if he means well by being persistent since he's only just now started to show you any form of kindness and this still feels like some cruel joke he's playing on you.
"I can't pay for this one—and the truth is I can't pay for any of these so—I- I think—" you pause, clutching at your purse desperately as you hold in tears of embarrassment. "I should tell McGonagall I couldn't find a broom I liked and I'll borrow an older one from my parents—
—plus, if I buy this one you'll just have another reason to hate me," you finish. 
Your words hit James hard as he takes in what you mean. Shame sneaks up on him instantly as he knows exactly why you would think that. It suddenly hits him just how threatened he's been and as silly as it sounds the only image in James's head is the disappointed look of his mother if she knew he had taken out his own insecurities on you. 
If Euphemia Potter knew how much of a dick he's been to you, she'd be horrified.
He looks at you closely, taking in how embarrassed you look. During tense moments with his friends, Remus had sometimes told him he was a spoiled rich boy—unaware of real struggles — and he'd always brushed him off.
Only this time, he can't unhear Remus's jab as he realizes how foolish he had been to assume anything about you.
"Oh," he whispers.
You look away at the other brooms. "I- I honestly didn't realize how expensive new brooms are. My mum and dad had gotten the other one for my eleventh birthday—I should have been more careful—" You sound sad and James's heart sinks. 
"Hey, listen, it's my fault your broom is broken. I- shouldn't have been so rough on you like I was. I'm sorry," he speaks up, sounding sincere and you look up at him, expecting a better explanation than that. 
"It's no excuse but, the truth is, I was incredibly threatened by you. You're so good, better than me even, and I really want Captain so—"
"I don't want Captain," you say instantly. "I just wanted to be on the team—"
At that point, James remembers what you'd said that night when he was piss-drunk in the Common Room. 'I've always admired you during games.' It dawns on him that you just wanted him to like you and, instead, he'd gone and seen you as an enemy. His chest hurts. 
He has never felt more like an ass than now. 
"Okay, well, um," he whispers, rubbing his nape, "Let me make it up to you then. I'll buy you the broom." James means well, he truly does, but it only makes you feel more embarrassed and you shake your head. 
"No. I don't need your pity," you say instantly as you stare at him, eyes narrowed. 
"I'm not pitying you! I'm fixing my mistake," he exclaims, his voice strained.
You open your mouth to protest when he adds, "Please."
James looks determined as he rummages through his robes for any spare change he can use and then he curses. "Shit, I didn't bring enough money," he mumbles and lifts his head, looking up at you with his puppy-like brown eyes. "I promise I'll buy it for you, Y/n. Okay? I'll make this right," he adds again and your expression softens. 
"Sure, James," you whisper, not entirely sure if you believe him. 
* * *
He did buy you the broom.
James had it wrapped neatly with a small letter signed J.P accompanied with the words, "I'm sorry," scribbled onto the parchment. 
Since that morning, he didn't ignore you anymore, he included you with the other teammates, and he played fair with you—even complimenting you sometimes. McGonagall had seen the change in dynamic and so had Ines, which she'd praised you both for.
"Good job, Y/l/n," Ines grins as she packs up her bags, "you and Potter seem to be getting on much better now." She winks and her comment passes over you as you focus on untying your ponytail, rubbing your scalp. 
The rest of the team has fallen in front of you, laughing and chatting as they walk back to the dorm. You're lost in the moment, struggling with holding your bag as you run your hand in your hair, the tightness of the ponytail was causing you a headache. 
Suddenly, you suddenly squeal when you almost trip over James—who had bent down to tie his shoes and had been separated from the group. 
He grunts and stands up, turning around and catching your arm as he steadies you. 
"Oh hey, Y/n," he grins, and then he glances at your poor bag hanging from your arm. Swiftly, he takes your bag and holds it over his other shoulder, not even commenting on the gesture. 
"Want some company walking back to the Common Room?" he asks casually.
You blow some strands away from your eyes as you look up at him, grateful for the momentary relief from your bag as the pain in your scalp subsides.
"Sure," you say, reaching for your bag but James holds it up and away from you. 
"Let me be a gentleman here," he teases.
You roll your eyes with no malice. "Hero complex much, Potter?"
He chuckles as you walk inside the school, side by side. James winks at you. "On the contrary, Y/l/n, I am the hero. Don't need a complex when you are one, y'know?"
You laugh, hearing the joking infliction in his voice as your heart feels lighter. Much to your better judgment, you've actually been enjoying James's company these last weeks, and talking to him alone like this has been even more fun. "I think you think much too highly of yourself, James." you tease him back. 
"I am wounded, Y/n." He fakes hurt as he puts a hand over his heart. 
"It's true is it not?" you say with a smirk and James narrows his eyes as you turn a corner, getting closer to the Common Room. You shrug, catching yourself. "Nothing wrong with some confidence." 
James grins, his eyes sparkling playfully as he gently nudges your side with his elbow. "You could learn a few things from me, eh?"
You frown. "Are you saying I'm not confident?"
James hums, smirking, "'M just giving you some advice, love. You have the skills now, you gotta trust yourself." You both approach the entrance and you mutter the secret word to the Fat Lady Painting and the door cracks open. You push it further with your palm. 
"Since when are you giving me Quidditch advice to make me better?" 
James turns around once he's inside and hands you your bag. "Since I realized if you can't beat them, join them," he jokes with a smile, "We're a team now, Y/n. I know I was a real dick in the beginning, but I look out for my teammates. You're my teammate, so now I look after you."
Your shoulders relax and a small smile tugs your lips. "Thanks, James," you say honestly and rest your bag higher on your shoulder, tucking some hair behind your ear as you smooth the knots a little. "I really appreciate that."
"Anytime," James whispers as you walk up the stairs to the girl's dorm. Sirius whistles from where he's sitting on one of the couches, his head leaning against the armrest as he watches you and James. Once you disappear from view, James spins around, his eyes narrowing at his best friend. 
Sirius winks and looks at James's sneakers. "This is the third time this week you've used that stupid shoelace excuse, Prongs. At this point, just stay back and ask her to walk with you, you chicken."
James's cheeks turn crimson and he walks over to shove Sirius, "Shut up." 
Sirius just laughs loudly. 
* * *
You've never felt so nervous in your life as you clutch the wood of your new, expensive, broom. The wind has picked up and everyone can tell the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor seekers are having a hard time finding the snitch. You're breathing heavily as you look around, seeing Maria—the third chaser—throw James the Quaffle. 
James easily catches the Quaffle, avoiding the Ravenclaws on his right as he swoops lower. Your adrenaline is pumping and you think you know what he's doing. You hope. You fly closer and higher to the hoops, letting James know you're open.
Your memory flashes to the beginning when he wouldn't pass you the Quaffle under any circumstances, even if it cost the team the point. He can be so headstrong and your body is buzzing as you watch him closely.
What if he doesn't throw it to you? You have the perfect shot. 
James looks at you from the corner of his eye, shoving a Ravenclaw with his shoulder to disorient them.
He could want the score for himself—but he's surrounded, he could miss.
The sound of the crowd is drowned out when you see his arm raise and he's communicating with his eyes. You nod, jumping into action as you fly closer and avoid the Ravenclaws as you catch the Quaffle and throw your arm back, throwing the Quaffle directly into the middle hoop. 
Just as you score, Oliver—Ravenclaw's seeker—catches the snitch and the whistle blows. Gryffindor was leading already and you glance at the board. It didn't matter that Oliver caught the snitch, your goal had helped secure Gryffindor the win. Cheers erupt around you and you find yourself in a trance as your feet hit the ground and you clutch your broom.
"Y/n!" Someone calls your name as the ringing in your ears dies and you feel hands wrap around your waist, hoisting you up in the air as you twirl around. A gasp escapes your lips as you clutch onto the culprit's shoulder, the cheers continuing to echo around the pitch.  
"You did so amazingly," James's excitement shines as he slowly lowers you back onto the ground, your chest brushing against his as your hands find themselves wrapped around his neck. You stare into his eyes, feeling his proximity and you suddenly feel warm and dizzy.
Has he always been this handsome?
"James." His name is the only thing your brain can think to say as he refuses to let you go. He also looks breathless and his cheeks have turned a faint shade of pink as his eyes roam over your features. 
You want to tell him a thousand things. How good he was, how you're so happy the team won, how honored you are he trusted you enough to throw you the Quaffle to make the score. You want to ask if you were more confident this time and if he's noticed your effort—but instead, any attempt at words is drowned by his lips meeting yours. 
You don't kiss him back for a moment, your hand faltering behind his neck as your fingers find the baby hairs on his nape. He feels so close and your lips part a little, kissing him back carefully as your eyes shut. 
James's hands squeeze your waist and for a moment the crowd and the team are completely forgotten until James pulls away, and the sound of cheering returns as the realization of what happened dawns on you both. 
"I'm sorry," James mutters, stepping away but he keeps a hand on you. 
"You're sorry?" you ask, your voice small. 
James hesitates, looking at you seriously and then he shakes his head. "No. I'm not sorry."
Your lips curl upwards and, still ignoring everyone around you, you pull him down by the collar of his shirt and kiss his lips again. James grins against your mouth, his heart thumps in his chest as all he can think about is you.
"Oi, no PDA on the pitch, you pervs!" Sirius's teasing voice suddenly shouts out from somewhere beside you but you're almost positive no one else is worried about you and James considering everyone's celebrating on their own.
James must feel the same because he throws up a middle finger with the hand that leaves your waist and you laugh into his mouth, reaching for his arm to stop him.
"Prick," James mutters to Sirius, "You're annoying," he adds with some playful bite. 
He turns to you and his gaze softens. "But you're lovely," he whispers, earning him the prettiest smile he's ever seen and he's never been more proud.
tags: @mischievousmoony, @sayitlikethecheese
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holybibly · 11 months ago
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IT'S YOU |Woosan x reader| Part II
Part I If you haven't read it
Genre: smut, from friends to lovers!au, college!au
Word Count: 9.4k
Summary: Sometimes drunken decisions lead to the most unexpected results and the most shocking confessions. Or, after your boyfriend cheats on you, you propose a threesome to your best friends and it might just be what they have always wanted.
WARNING: only!18+ unprotected sex, Dom!San, Dom!Wooyoung, Sub!Reader, fingering, choking, degrading, pet names, spit kink, manhandling, threesomes, dirty talk, explicit sexual content, explicit language, squirting, pussy slapping, overstimulation and more.
Tag list: @staytiny816 @woosmaid @jiminssluttyminx @liknws @pearltinyy @haebaragisworld @bts-iris @bleachpolaroid @wisejudgedragonhairdo @ginger-coffee-addict @pricessthings @rockstarsanie @lilmackiee @minaizum1 @shotahime @vixensss @meljoongiee @ivsjake4evr @love-me-a-little @seonghwaddict @onmykneesforateez @meeitany
A/N: Okay, we're here. I couldn't be more excited. Really, they've got a lot going on and I hope you're all ready because it's gonna be intense, hot and messy. Seriously, I really appreciate everyone's feedback and consideration for this series. It's become one of the most popular things I've written, but it put some pressure on me, because I'm worrying about whether the second part would please you. Well, I think we'll see.
Enjoy the chapter, even though it's practically nothing but smut.
The third and final part! takes us back to where it all began, but not without an emotional roller coaster ride. By the way, I wanted to point out that T/N doesn't remember what she promised them a year ago. So don't be surprised by the plot changes in this issue. In the finale, we're sure to get a hot threesome.
I'm still learning how to write smut, so please be gentle with me.
Besides, I can't help but talk about the results of the poll. The majority vote was for Alpha/Beta/Omega!au, and honestly, it's one of the ideas I'm most excited about, and I was hoping it would be the winner. I look forward to your comments. In general, feel free to write me about anything.
dividers by @cafekitsune
Much love, everyone.
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Now. The morning after graduation.
It's a late, lazy morning when you wake from a deep and well-earned sleep. You blinked slowly, trying to adjust to the bright golden light flooding the room, which refracted through your bedroom's stained glass. It was beautiful and annoying at the same time, just as Hongjoong himself, who had inspired you to do this.
You should have shaded the windows last night before you went to sleep, but that was the last thing you thought of as lying in bed between the restless, wet San's and Wooyoung's bodies. You were more preoccupied with the touch of their rough hands on your heated body, the warmth of their breath on tender skin, and the sounds of their hoarse moaning right by your ear.
They were an absolute mess, slowly driving you crazy. Emotions raged in your stomach, making you feel guilty, embarrassed and… lustful. You practically dozed off at dawn, when the boys managed to calm down a bit and fall into a deep sleep.
The apartment is incredibly quiet; you can't hear a single sound, and only the soft sniffle on your neck, with the feeling of warm breath dancing across your bare skin, breaks this peaceful silence.
Wooyoung is still fast asleep, clutching you in his arms like a favorite teddy bear, his leg wrapped possessively around your thigh as it always has been. Even when he was asleep, he couldn't bring himself to let you go for a second.
You ran the palm of your hand over the sheet and felt nothing but the cold under your fingers. Sannie has been awake for a while now, and for a moment you're annoyed by this fact. You wish that he was still in bed with you, soft and gentle as he always was. So that the three of you could spend this special morning together. The graduation robes are scattered all over the room in a mess of things, and all you want to do is push them further and further into the wardrobe and forget about them forever. The dog days are finally over. You are now official free.
Sensual, full lips touch the sensitive spot on your neck, and the sensation sends shivers down your spine. The throat is suddenly dry, sweat begins to form on your neck from the abruptly increase in desire, and you close your eyes tightly, aware of every touch and breath coming from Wooyoung more clearly than before. It's as if your whole body is completely focused on him, reacting to every fleeting movement and every sound with even more eager devotion.
You're still too receptive from last night, and you need more space to try and keep all those dirty, depraved thoughts from taking over and you. You studiously ignore the slight shiver of excitement that is happily tickling your breasts and causing the muscles in your lower abdomen to ripple in a pleasant way. You bite your lip to keep yourself from groaning in frustration as the images and sensations of the night flash in front of your eyes. You need to stop right now. It's too bad, but it's too sweet.
You start to wriggle, trying to get away from Wooyoung, who is still sleeping, but he just pulls you closer to his chest, as if he wants to dissolve into your body completely, and you melt.
Wooyoung has always been so insatiable and greedy for any kind of physical contact that you can offer him, like an adorable little puppy, that you can just wag your finger at him and he'll come running to you. He always had "too much space between you"; it was important to him to hold you constantly, to touch soft skin with his fingertips, to leave butterfly kisses in every possible place, to knead your thighs and squeeze waist possessively, to pull you so close that there wasn't a centimetre between you. You were his darling, soft and sweet girl in all the right places, and he just couldn't help himself.
San used to tell him that he was being a bit greedy and that he needed to learn how to share you with others. After all, sharing meant caring, and you were also his chagi.
Yes, you wanted to be taken care of, and that frightened you to the depths of your most forbidden fantasies. You wanted to be nervous about them; you wanted them to use you as they pleased, to make you take everything they had to offer, even if it destroyed you completely.
Your desire for them was more than you should have as friends. And that feeling had only grown stronger over the past year.
But despite Wooyoung's obsession and possessiveness, his touch always soothed you. He gave you the comfort you needed whenever you felt the need. And in the end, his hands would always nudge you in the direction of San, so that he could have his own moment of sharing with you. You were their own personal cuddly toy, and that was fine with you, because there was no place in the world where you could feel more protected and cuddly than in their arms.
But at the moment, you wanted nothing more than to get away from his touch and calm down your excitement. You'd been so needy since last night, and Wooyoung had only added to your frustration.
He's shirtless, his skin warm and smooth, and you can be sure it's golden like caramel where the sun has licked it. Delicious. You can almost taste him on the tip of your tongue, and suddenly you're tempted to sink your teeth into him for a taste, but you just bite down harder on your lower lip and stifle a moan.
You need to stop being so intensely... aware of him.
Maybe you were still drunk from the last night; after all, you couldn't remember exactly how many shots of tequila you'd consumed before dragging Yunho into the ladies' room to start kissing passionately. And you found yourself in an even more suggestive position with Seonghwa after another round of colourful, unnamed cocktails.
From then on, every innocent act made you feel lustful and hungry for intimacy.
Was it karma or something? You weren't sure, but you were more inclined to think that it was the lack of passionate sex you hadn't been having for a year now. You hadn't been able to find anyone suitable for a long-term relationship after you'd broken up with Suho, and boys-toys hadn't given you any pleasure.
You wanted more than ten minutes of gasping under the covers with awkward fingers poking into the pussy. They were cum faster than you were able to get yourself aroused. Pathetic.
You needed to satisfy that hunger that was eating you from the inside out, that oppressive feeling of emptiness inside you that could only be filled by a big dick that you could choke on for the rest of your life. A thick and long one, with visibly bulging veins, that could really hit all the sensitive places inside you, causing you to have orgasm after orgasm. And having not one but two perfectly matched options handy hasn't made things any easier.
If you offered to suck them off, Wooyoung's dick would be in your mouth in no time. He was always a fireball, passionate, and impatient, and San…San liked to play with his food before getting down to business. You were in awe of how perfect their dynamic was with such different personalities.
You wanted to see how attractive they would be when a warm throat closed around their cocks, when their beautiful faces were contorted with intense pleasure, and when you heard them moan out your name.
Damn it.
It's moments like these that make you realize that moving in with Wooyoung and San was the best and worst decision you ever made. Unless you count buying a pair of designer jeans that make your butt a magnet for people's hands.
The time went by far too quickly for your liking. It was easy to get lost in the succession of school days, week after week, punctuated by movie nights, spontaneous outings and a seemingly endless stream of student parties. Everything in your life changes. From the big renovation of your apartment, which was Hongjoong's job - he was still over the loss of his favourite vintage sofa - to the move in of San and Wooyoung. Things started to move at an even faster pace the day the boys dragged their suitcases into the dark space of your ultra-modern living room, to a general "You should have done this a long time ago".
It was a spontaneous and hasty decision. But what could have gone wrong? It's always been the three of you, and you had no idea that sharing space would have any effect on your relationship. God, how wrong you were. They played cat and mouse with you, testing your mettle and your patience. The memory of that moment is still so vivid in your mind.
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"Come on, chagi, try it; it's quite tasty." San brought a spoonful of the dark green liquid, which Wooyoung proudly called the best hangover soup in the world, to your lips.
Jung Wooyoung and his ego, of course.
"Go ahead, baby; be good and open your mouth. It'll make you feel good, I  promise." That last sentence was full of innuendo, and it didn't take a genius to see it. In fact, everything that came out of Wooyoung's mouth was absolute filth.
He was practically purring in your ear, touching your delicate skin with every word, and you swear you could feel the touch of his tongue on your earlobe. Oh, fuck. His hands slid down your shoulders, deftly kneading the muscles that had gone stiff, his thumbs sliding up the vertebrae of your neck, and he dug a little bit into the hair at the back of your neck. In that moment, you were ready to do anything for him, whatever he asked.
"That's my Chagia, so docile and sweet." San would continue to feed you slowly with a spoon, smiling sweetly at you as if it were the most pleasant thing in the world to do. From time to time, he would wipe away the drops of liquid that ran down your lips with his thumb, as if in a romantic drama. You were perfectly capable of doing it yourself. But San's meaningful raised eyebrow made it clear that it was better to let him take care of you without resistance. San's language of love had always been to serve, and he took every opportunity to remind you of that.
The silence around you was nice and cozy—you'd even say relaxing—especially since you could still feel the humming bass of last night's music in your head. And all in all, you weren't feeling your best. Hell, that shit you drank last night was strong. This went on for a few more minutes until the plate in front of you was empty and Woo's face was pressed against your cheek in a cute puppy way. 
"Woo, and I wanted to talk to you about something, Y/N," San began, his voice suddenly becoming so sweet. He took your hand gently, his thumb stroking your knuckles lazily. He obviously wanted something from you.
"Sure, I'm all ears."
"We'd like to move in with you, peach, what do you think?" Wooyoung was pecking at your cheek, acting like a real sweetheart, but you knew every one of his tactics to get what he wanted.
"You're not going to get it if Woo keeps licking my cheek."
"But, Peach…" He whined, pursing his puffy lips in a resentful manner. Okay, he was cute as hell, but you were never going to tell him that.
"Chagi." You turned your attention back to San, who looked like he was confessing his love to you: Are this hearts in his eyes? Or are you still drunk?
"Agreed, we are practically living here anyway; I even have my own toothbrush in the bathroom. It's just a formality." He was awfully proud of it, squaring his shoulders and imagining himself under your gaze.
"We want to take care of you, baby."
And this is where you should have told them to fuck off and forget the way to your apartment, change the locks, and give San his toothbrush back. But whether it was the soft and somehow loving look of San's cat eyes paired with deep, sweet dimples or Wooyoung's gentle hands that started to knead your shoulders again in a languidly seductive way, you nodded affirmatively.
They were right; you were all practically living together. The amount of their stuff in your flat was unreal—the T-shirts you slept in, the perfume bottles left everywhere, study notes, games, pajamas and scarves, Wooyoung's luxurious leather jackets, and San's books—you could start a collection, but their stuff was just as much yours. It was also the constant cause of your and Suho's fights; he was always jealous of you and them, completely unaware of the dynamic between the three of you. They'd been glued to your thigh for years, and the fact that you had a boyfriend wouldn't change that. Narrow-minded prick.
"I think you're right. Let's give it a go."
"My little darling." San gave a dazzling smile, showing off his dimples even more, and pressed your hand to his lips. God, Choi San was a real menace. It was hard to believe that this pretty cat in front of you was none other than the one who was caught many times having rough sex in the middle of the university library. Once, he was even caught in a threesome, but you didn't want to point the finger at Wooyoung for putting him up to it.
"Yeah, that's our girl." Wooyoung pressed his lips to your cheek once more, salivating as much as he could along the way.
"Jung Wooyoung!" You squealed, wiping the drool from your cheek in disgust, but Woo was already happily scurrying into the living room, laughing loudly.
"We'll look after you, chagi."
That was San's last sentence before he ran his tongue over your hand, licked his fingers like a cat, and ran after Woo with an evil giggle.
"Choi San, come back at once!"
You are going to have so much fun here. Too much fun for your own good.
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"Mmm… Peach, you are already awake." The soft touch of plump lips on your shoulder means that Wooyoung has woken up and wants to have your full attention.
"It has been some time. But I don't want to go anywhere. How are you feeling? Last night, when we came home, you and San were really drunk.
Wooyoung hugs you even tighter, nestling his face between your shoulder blades and taking a deep breath of your scent. Your skin is tickled by the tips of his long hair. A light touch on your lower back sends a jolt up your spine, making you arch slightly in his arms. Wooyoung is always like this; his defiant and needy attitude shouldn't be anything unusual for you, so you should stop reacting to him like this.
"Thank you for looking after us, peach. You're always so nice. Sannie and I don't deserve you." He kisses your neck. This time the touch lingers a little longer, and a feeling of excitement rises in your chest. "We haven't caused you any trouble, have we, little girl?" He purrs as he rubs his nose up against your shoulder. You couldn't help but notice how San's habits have become Wooyoung's habits, and vice versa. Now you have to put up with all that twin feline energy.
You turn to face him, and even after a night of sleeping with his hair tousled and without his usual cheeky grin, Wooyoung still looks pretty damn good. He's comfortable, a little sleepy, but no less seductive than he ever was. Woo has always had this sensual aura about him. Underneath the overt sexuality and the bitchy attitude, there was something else—something dark and seductive. You want to kiss him right now, so badly. Your hand runs through his silky hair, letting it fall in soft waves on either side of his face. Dark strands that are long enough to be pulled through easily. The world's handsomest boy.
It's all too easy to fall in love with him.
He kisses your palm playfully and pokes his nose into it like a cat hungry for affection, and you don't mind his purring with pleasure.
You wonder what he's going to sound like when he cums, God, you need to help yourself.
"Let me think." You run your fingers through his hair, lightly massaging his scalp. It's a deceptively gentle gesture before you pull hard on the roots of his hair, causing him to cry out in surprise.
"Oh, babe, why?" He purses his lips in offense, hoping you'll fall for his cute look. But you've known Wooyoung for years, and judging by the mischievous gleam in his eyes, he knew exactly what he was getting at.
"Firstly, you robbed me of my chance for great sex with your whining and dragging me home. Secondly, you behaved horribly when I tried to persuade you to take a shower and you kept me awake until the morning by clinging to me and fidgeting on the bed. Today I demand the royal treatment because you really messed up last night. This was not part of my plan for the prom at all."
Woo smiles back wickedly, practically baring his teeth in a wolfish grin.
"Peaches, are you really such a needy girl? Well, what are we going to do about it? San and I will have to do our best to make it up to you." He suddenly turns you over so that you are lying on your back, sandwiched between the mattress and his lithe body. Wooyoung is hovering over you, his hair falling all over your face, and you can't help but notice how sexy he looks in this position, which is annoying the hell out of you. He doesn't even have to try very hard to send you over the edge.
Strong hands are resting on the sides of your head, letting you enjoy the sight of the seductively bulging veins that run down his forearms. Fuck, you've always had a weakness for his hands, and who wouldn't when they look like this? Woo leans his head towards you until your noses touch, like a predator cornering his prey.
"Baby, I have my doubts that you'll be satisfied with anyone, so don't sulk. And you know Sannie and I will have to approve of someone running their fingers down your knickers." He smiles broadly at you, clearly enjoying your annoyance when you roll your eyes at him.
"Jung Wooyoung, stop it!" Your hand leaves an angry red mark on the bare skin of his chest, and he grunts. It will take all the patience in the world not to beat him to death or kiss him. "I swear I'll wash your mouth out with soap someday." Or maybe you'll lick him from the inside out. "And stop sticking your pretty little nose where you shouldn't. You don't have to worry about who I'm gonna fuck."
"So what if it bothers me? What are you going to do with it, Peach?" He bites his lips in anticipation and raises an eyebrow in expectation, as if he were challenging you to go on.
The way that smug look is on his face makes you feel a little pissed off. You get a little cocky and decide to use the same tactic he did. Wrapping your hands around his face, you're pulling him even closer, resting him on your forearms and your lips nearly touch. He has siren eyes that are deep and mesmerising, and the intensity of his gaze causes your cheeks to flush and you to bite down on your lower lip. The gleam in his fox eyes is proof that he is enjoying every second of your little game.
"Seonghwa kisses you like he's fucking your mouth with his tongue, it's fucking heaven and you can do whatever you want with that fact, baby. I would have ridden him like a stallion in front of everyone last night if it wasn't for you and San's drunken arses". You push him off of you, and Wooyoung rolls over to the other side of the bed as you sit up.
There's something in the air, and you feel you've said something wrong, judging by the way Wooyoung's eyes are flashing with an emotion you can't quite describe. It's a weird mix between anger, envy, desire and something else. But whatever it is, it is making your pussy clench in anticipation of it.
Damn, when did you start thinking with what's between your legs instead of your brain?
He stares at you intently, as if he's trying to decide whether he's going to scold you or fuck you senseless. As lust flashes through his languid onyx eyes like a shooting star, fast but unmistakable, and his pink tongue flicks out to wet his swollen lips, Wooyoung knows exactly what he's going to do to you.
You reach out to stroke his shoulder, and just as you expected, his skin is the most delicious shade of caramel. You can't help but want to run your tongue all over it.
Oh, shit. Now would be a good time to remind yourself: He's your best friend.
"Where`s San?" He asks you.
The expression on his face is, for the most part, neutral, with just a slight hint of lust and anticipation. He slowly licks his delicious lips and looks at you with bedroom eyes. You feel the warm moisture building up between your thighs. If he keeps looking at you like that, you're going to make a puddle of lust where you're sitting right now. You squeeze your thighs tighter to keep the liquid from dripping shamefully onto the bed, praying to all the gods that Wooyoung won't notice.
"I don't know. He wasn't in the bed when I woke up."
"Good."
What the hell is 'GOOD'? You need to collect your thoughts and leave this stuffy room, but the way Wooyoung's eyes slide over your body before, and slowly sucking his lower lip tells you there's nowhere to run. 
"Come to me, sweetheart; I want you in my arms." He is stroking himself on his thigh, the silk fabric of his pajamas leaving no room for imagination as it outlines the taut muscles of his gorgeous thighs. His legs are spread a little wider to draw your attention to where he wants you now, and you can clearly see the imprint of his thick dick through the fabric. Damn. It's completely hard, and you can't help but notice how big it is.
His actions send signals straight to the nerves that control your cunt. The wet heat is running between your legs and your arousal is increasing. A palpable shiver runs through all body as you squirm and writhe under the intensity of his gaze.
The rational part of you is literally beating in a hysterical frenzy. It's your hope that your stupid brain will realise the full implications of what's happening, and that you'll be able to put a stop to it. Even if the boundaries of your friendship were highly questionable, you were friends. While the evil voice in the back of your head was cheering you on: "C'mon, what's the bad that can happen?"
He was inviting you, and who were you to refuse? Not that you wanted to.
They'd go crazy if San and Wooyoung knew what thoughts and fantasies lived in your head every day. Huh. They had no idea their sweet chagia had such a dark and dirty mind. You take a deep breath.
Screw it.
You slowly crawl across the bed towards him. He watches you with a squinting, predatory look on his face until one of your legs has been thrown across his body and you're almost sitting on top of him. Almost, as your thighs struggle to keep you in that rigid position, but apparently Woo wasn't in the mood, and his broad palms force your hips down so you're sitting all the way in his lap. Before you realise what you're doing, you're pinned against his crotch, his hard cock touching your aching clit as you move against him, demanding physical stimulation. The contact was so good that it sent a shiver down your spine, and you almost moaned at the tiny moment of pleasure it gave you. Damn, it was massive—so thick you started salivating in your mouth. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. You're up to your neck in shit. 
"There you are, starlight, in my hands." His voice, once so high and soft, was now hoarse and deep. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you even closer to him, so that there was hardly any space between the two of you. "Baby girl, are you still upset about Seonghwa?" It's a nickname he rarely uses, and it sends an electric shock through your lower abdomen, triggering a feeling you're not sure you can control right now. He leans in close to you and presses his wet lips against the side of your ear. "Tell me what I can do to stop you being angry with me."
"Kiss me, make me feel good." The evil little voice in the back of your head chimes in with glee. "Blow my brains out until my head feels empty and light." It says.
A whole new sensation takes over. Your body starts to heat up in anticipation of what is to come. Then the room will seem to shrink and the air will fill with a tension and a desire.
"I don't know. You've really pissed me off." You look up at him through your impossibly thick lashes, your lips in a fake pout. You weren't the innocent one; you could have played just as badly as they did. "You'll have to try harder, pretty boy." You let your finger nails run down the length of his neck. Wooyoung tilts his head back to reveal a chin line that could have been carved from the finest marble.
As his hands lazily caress your thighs, lifting your T-shirt higher and higher, your skin burns under his palms. Damn, he's scalding you.
The wetness between your legs is becoming more and more intense as the conversation goes on and on. Your juices seep through the thin lace of your panties, dripping from your pussy, leaving little dark streaks on the silk of his trousers where they touch your thighs. The air between you crackles with tension and desire; you feel yourself sweating; you're so hot and needy; and Wooyoung is no help at all.
His aura is one of dominance, and you swallow in anticipation. A storm is about to break and you don't want to be safe.
"I'll do whatever you want me to do for you, Y/N."
You're done for.
"Then kiss me, stupid boy, make me feel good."
He growls back at you, embracing you on the back of the head and practically forcing your faces together. The palm of his hand clenches possessively on the back of your neck with palpable pain, and the sound that comes out of you is something between a sob and a moan. With the sudden movement, you feel yourself pressing even harder against his dick, and it sends a pleasurable pulse through your clit.
Wooyoung presses his forehead against yours and your lips are just a breath away from each other.
You stare back at him without blinking. His eyes are half closed as he watches you in silence, like a tiger stalking its prey, ready to pounce with its jaws clenched. It is in a low, dangerously calm tone that he speaks. "Are you sure this is what you want to do, baby girl? I'm biting." It's mixed with your sighing and seductive lips, and you can barely make out the words.
"P-please…"
His moan is loud, guttural, and mildly painful, and then…
O MY GOD.
Those soft lips are pressed hard against yours in an urgent, hungry kiss. His mouth is insistent and demanding, his thumb digging into the skin of your neck, turning the touch into a rough grip, and his tongue gliding along the bottom of your lip. Slowly, as he pulls your lips apart, he moves in quickly, and you shudder at the sensual sensation as he runs his tongue over the roof of your mouth and licks your teeth. It should have been dirty and rough, but instead you find yourself moaning with wanton need.
"Wooyoung..." The moan of his name was so desperate, so needy, so full of lust and desire.
"Goddamn, I love it when you say my name."
He kisses you with renewed ferocity, biting your lips almost to the point of bleeding. Wooyoung is too passionate; he licks your mouth with his tongue, and literally shoves it down your throat. He kisses you like he's dying of thirst and you're the only way to make him drink. Spittle runs down your chin, it's wet and dirty, but you can't stop, you don't want to stop. Wooyoung's tongue is practically fucking you in the mouth.
And God, you want more. It feels unreal, too extreme to be a reasonable response to a kiss, the heat between your legs, your clit throbbing with need, your nerves on fire.
Wooyoung lets go of you for a moment and you stare at him with your eyes wide open. Your heart is pounding wildly and your breathing is so ragged that you're practically choking to death. Licking away any remnants of the kiss you shared, his wet pink tongue pokes out from between his plump lips.
His hand slides down your face, cupping your chin and tilting your head slightly so that your eyes meet his, his gaze clouded with lust as if his fingers were digging deep inside you. You can't say a word as a wicked smile spreads across his sharp, enchanting face.
Now you have a better understanding of all those damsels who are ready to spread their legs at the flick of his fingers.
"Tell me you want more, baby. I have a feeling this apology isn't enough. I need to do more than that. I'm so desperate for forgiveness.
"Don't I need to be forgiven too, Woo? You shouldn't be so greedy. That voice, oh shit.
You turn sharply around and find yourself staring into San's beautiful cat eyes. He's so damn good-looking you swallow a groan. It must be illegal for someone to look this good in normal jeans and a plain black shirt. But San had a body worth dying over.
A real girl's dinner.
What the hell are you going to do now? How long had he stayed there?
"San-ah… how…" You find yourself stuttering. Your mouth dries up and you can't utter a word, but even if you could, your brain can't form coherent thoughts. You can't bring yourself to look away from him, and something deep inside you knows that he will punish you if you try.
"What is it, Gongjunim? Did the cat eat your tongue?" He raises an eyebrow at you, a shit-eating grin playing at the corners of his lips. As if in mockery, his soft, patronising tone of voice slides over your skin. San combines a sensual, gentle nature with a seductive one that makes you feel he's looking for a weakness before pouncing. His fucking duality. One moment he's a little sweetheart, the next he's a lecherous demon who wants to sink his teeth into your throat and devour you. "Come on, Chagia, I promise I won't disappoint you; I'm very good at excuses."
Responding to his sultry purr, your pussy clenches shamefacedly.
The excitement of it all makes your brain feel like mush and sets your skin on fire.
You start squirming in Wooyoung's arms, and now that San's here, you belatedly realise what you've gotten yourself into. Is it time for a change of scenery or something? No, you want to stay. Desperately.
You need them to blow your brains out, to make you dumb and submissive and a pretty little toy for them to play with. Sometimes you have to stop before you cross the line, but where is the line when you're literally sitting on your best friend's hard cock?
Hell, you don't know what you're supposed to do - run or beg - but you clearly know what they want to do to you, judging by Wooyoung's dick twitching between your thighs and San slowly licking his lips as he looks at your bare ass peeking out from under your shirt. His shirt.
There must be some kind of telepathic connection between Wooyoung and San. After a few seconds of intense eye contact, San pulls his T-shirt over his head, tosses it aside and slowly walks over to you. The grin on his face seems to have changed; it has become even darker than before. Hungrier.
And you don't think this is a good time to start drooling. But damn it, you want to lick him from head to toe.
Between the three of you, there's a chaos of emotion and desire. It's mixed with adrenaline and a distant fear of what's going to happen. There has to be an end to this game of predator and prey, and why not do it now? Sighing, you finally give in.
In the morning, you'll consider the consequences.
"Maybe you should kiss me too, San-ah, and I'll start thinking about forgiving.
Hot lips instantly press an open, wet kiss to your shoulder. The bed buckles under the weight of another man's body. San's strong arms are wrapped around your waist and his fingers clench your t-shirt into a fist. He's hot, warm and hard, and you can feel the hardness of his dick through your trousers as he presses down hard against you. His mouth is sucking, biting and licking your skin as if his life depended on it. Sharing an understanding look with Wooyoung, San slides his lips higher up your body.
"Sannie…" Before planting a hot kiss on your neck, you whimper as his teeth sink into your sensitive flesh.
The moan that comes from the back of your throat is so deep that for a moment you wonder if it's coming from you at all.
Pure pleasure shoots through you as you feel Woo's long tongue on the other side of your neck. He lets out the sexiest moan deep in his throat, as if he's having the time of his life, savouring every second of the way his lips explore the nape of your neck. You're distracted. Your eyes roll back in pleasure as he pulls the skin between his lips, leaving a purple hickey on the back of your neck.
"Oh, my God, boys."
"That's my darling, Chagia." His voice is sultry and seductive, and you can clearly hear the saturi again, as it tends to do at times when San is in a highly aroused state.
"You're so beautiful, my peach." Wooyoung whispers to you, and you just melt away completely.
You whimper as Woo begins to run his hands up and down your thighs and arse, squeezing and pulling. He mooed softly as you made little circular movements with your hips and rubbed his cock against you. Woo punishes you by slapping your bottom if you cuddle too hard. You'll need to be obedient as they play with you.
The sound fills the room along with the collective moaning of Wooyoung's and San's.
"What a dirty little girl you are. I think you need to be taught how to obey." Woo spanks you a few more times and you wiggle your hips in an impatient way.
It feels so good.
San pulls your t-shirt up to your breasts while all your attention is focused on Wooyoung. Your little thong is completely transparent and does nothing to hide your sex or the excitement building within you. They are practically digging into your needy pussy because of the position you are now in. A chorus of gasps and moans can be heard from your best friends as their eyes focus on that big, wet spot. San's greedy hands press you even closer to his body, so that you can feel his full erection on top of your plump, bare bum.
"You're so fucking wet." Wooyoung hisses. "Like a bitch leaking just thinking about our cocks in your tight little cunt. We'll destroy you, Peach."
Before you realise what's happening, Woo's hands slide down your back, your nipples tensing in the cool open air. The soft fabric of your t-shirt falls to the floor, and suddenly, hot wetness envelops your left nipple and he sucks hard on it, the pressure causing pain that turns to pleasure as his tongue touches the hard bud. Your head immediately falls back onto San's shoulder as you open the soft space of your throat to his insatiable mouth. You let out a long groan, and your hand rests on Wooyoung's head, tugging lightly at the soft lengths of his hair.
You feel like you could explode at any moment, even though they haven't done anything to you yet. You're burning, almost feverish, as the growing fire between your thighs reaches unbearable levels. You can't breathe; your skin is hypersensitive. Your head tilts to the side, and you whimper San's name in the most pathetic intonation possible. His hand slides lower and lower, past your waist and your stomach, to the place where you most want to feel him. It hasn't even come close to touching your pussy yet, but the thought of it is enough to make you squirm with excitement.
His hands move down low enough to touch the skin of your naked legs and up slowly, frantically, until he reaches where you are starting to get aroused. The palm of his hand encircles your pussy in a possessive way, the small mound of flesh lying so perfectly in the palm of his hand. You tremble a little at this, and try to spread your legs wider so that his fingers can rub against the moist slit, so that he can dive in between the warm folds until your pussy spreads out beautifully for him, so that he can rub your clit with ease.
"Mmm… what a wet little thing. I bet my Gongjunim has the most beautiful pussy I have ever seen in my life. Fleshy, shiny, and pink - just the way I like it. He gasps for breath. He puts his hands on your hips and rubs his hard cock against the curve of your ass a couple of times. "Do you feel that, Chagia? No one can make me as hard as you can." On your skin, his breath feels like fire. Hoping for a little more friction, you arch your backside. The gesture reveals a hiss from his side.
San's fingers, one tempting back and forth with a feathery touch, spread the excitement building in your slit beneath the thin material. Your pussy clenches around nothing at all in the most uncomfortable way, and you know that he can feel it.
"Do you like this chagi? Wooyoung's mouth on your full, pretty tits? My fingers on your sweet little snatch?" San's tone is almost mocking. His tongue is licking his lips; his fingers continue to stroke your clothed pussy in a leisurely manner; and he watches intently as Wooyoung literally chokes on your breasts. "We are gonna fuck you until you squeal like the slutty little bitch you are." He growls into your ear, and the sound of it makes you pull on Woo's hair with all your might.
And you always had the impression that Wooyoung's mouth was dirty.
A soft moan slips out of the brunette's swollen lips, which are now wrapped so tightly around your nipple that you're sure they're going to leave a mark on it. As he pulls back with an audible pop, you let out a small sound as you look at his ecstatic face. His eyes are half closed, his eyelids flutter slightly and a beautiful flush of colour has appeared on his cheeks. His plump lips are glistening with the saliva and the service he is giving to your tits.
"Are you feeling good, peach?" He chuckles weakly as he watches you fall apart in San's skilled hands, leaving you as beautiful as ever in his eyes. Woo gives your nipple a hard pinch, only to then let his tongue run over it. The sudden change in sensation causes your head to begin to spin, and you let out a loud moan of pleasure.
"Please… I need… more… Youngiee." You stammer out the words, your voice shaking and your body trembling.
"You look so pretty when you beg. But do you want to know something, сhagi? You'll look even more beautiful with your cunt stretched around my dick. I will ravage your tiny pussy, Gongjunim. I'm going to make you mine." San finally kisses you; though it's hard to call it a kiss, he dives into your lips like a hungry man, sucking them so deeply and passionately, with an insistence that you don't even think you'll ever understand.
His tongue is merciless as he explores every millimeter of the inside of your mouth. This kiss is heavenly, and with every second that passes, you find yourself wanting more, wanting him to spoil you in every way that he can. To have his way with you until you have no more patience. And it is these thoughts that make you wriggle in Wooyoung's arms. You try to rub your thighs together, hoping to relieve the unbearable heat inside you.
"The taste is so damn good."
You can feel Woo squeezing your breasts almost in sync, his warm tongue sliding over the plump flesh once more, licking at the aroused nipples, and his teeth scratching the sensitive skin with the lightest of touches. You savour the lightning bolts of pleasure that the two of them cause to bounce around your body. It's almost painful, but you know you're loving this.
Half gasping, half squealing at the sheer, blunt pressure of San's nimble, kneading fingers finding their way to your labia through the mesh of the thong. Your lower abdomen clenches in a reflexive spasm, and your hands are sticky with sweat as you grasp the wrist of his hand.
"Oh, your pussy is so sensitive, isn't it, Chagia?" San cooed with feigned tenderness, and with a strange sadism, he pressed his middle finger against your cunt, sliding it right over the spot where your clit was, causing your hips to shake. The lubrication of your arousal made it much more effective for him to stimulate you, and he would literally bring you to orgasm with minimal effort. He purred softly as you responded, like a big cat purring, and just when you thought he couldn't fuck with your sanity even more, he turned his head and spat on your lips, a glob of saliva dribbling into your open mouth and you choked out a moan.
It's so rough and dirty, but your body responds the best it can, arching into his arms and pressing your breasts even harder against Wooyoung's face.
The brunette moans in response and lifts his foxy eyes to you. You can see the corner of his lips curl into a smirk before he bites down hard on your nipple. Fuck, your life will never be the same. And they haven't even got around to fucking you properly yet. It's like heaven and hell at the same time.
"I want to hear you whimper, Gongjunim." San's hand grips the back of your neck very tightly, causing you to gasp for breath from the sudden lack of air. Your eyes begin to roll up at the possessive touch of his hand on your throat, and you begin to jerk your hips, your clit pressing against Wooyoung's cock, and he lets out a long, hard moan.
"Please, Sannie." You're breathing out.
"Look at her, San, our girl, slobbering like a brainless slut." Wooyoung wipes the viscous saliva from your parted lips, then pushes his fingers into your mouth with a sharp, deep thrust. For a second you choke and begin to gurgle around the long phalanges.
He hadn't removed the rings yesterday and now the heavy metal makes your tongue feel cold. "Think of the way my dick is fucking your little throat, starlight. Suck it hard." You wheeze and gurgle, your saliva bubbling at the corners of your lips, but you have done exactly as you have been told.
It was rough, it was horrible and it was so wet that it was almost disgusting to watch. But Woo enjoyed it; he literally raped your mouth with his fingers in a sort of sadistic sense. A few thick strands of saliva would stick to your swollen lips as he pulled his fingers out of your mouth.
"Look at you. Taking my fingers in your mouth like that. Such a good girl."
This whole game has been nothing more than a distraction from the main action. There's a short circuit in your body as a sharp sensation pierces every nerve in your body. San suddenly slaps you hard on your wet pussy, the contact sending sparks of pain and pleasure flying across your skin, and you let out a squeal.
"Oh my God. Oh, my God. I'm going to… I'm going to…" You go over the edge as you feel your juices pouring down your legs, your vaginal muscles contracting, forcing more fluid to pour out of you, the combination of their names coming weakly from your lips as your orgasm washes over your weakened limbs.
"Fuck, Peach is so hot… You're squirting." You belatedly realise that Wooyoung is also cumming as he throws his head back in pleasure, his eyes rolling up and his mouth opening in a long, whimpering moan.
You can hardly catch your breath when you feel San rest his chin on your shoulder, his grip tightening around you, whispering in your ear.
"One more gongjunim; give me one more orgasm and then I'll caress you."
"Ah, San." The searing sensation of his fingers roughly pinching your clit through the wet material of your thong causes you to cry out hoarsely in agony. The sound of your wet, sensitive cunt splashing was clear and vivid; the sensation was brutal, but so indescribable you were ready to faint from pleasure.
He's going to tear you apart.
"Cum for me, Chagia. I know you can do it. Sperm for us; make Youngie and me proud of you".
Your eyes rolled back in your head and you swore that your cunt was on fire, your whole body shuddering in electrifying spasms of pleasure that made your toes curl up and your thighs shake. San's hand was still firmly around your throat, holding your head upright as you had your orgasm.
It had shattered you so badly that the fall seemed dramatic, and you went completely limp as the orgasm dissipated, turning you into an inconsolable, whimpering, disorderly mass.
They had blown your brains out.
"There you are, Gongjunim, I got you. You did so well." San muttered, but your mind was too tired to admit it. Amused at how angry and lost you looked, you saw stars as Wooyoung's hand tilted your head to the side in a teasing way to look at your confused face.
"You're no longer angry with us, are you, Peach?"
San removes his hand from your throat and allows Wooyoung to pull your face up to his own. Gentle fingers caress your cheekbones and soft lips wipe away the tears rolling down your cheeks. At one point, you didn't even realise you were crying. It's such a contrast to his previous behaviour; here he is your usual adored Jung Wooyoung, a little clingy, a little annoying and with an unrealistic maternal instinct. Your best friend.
Fuck. Now it is time for you to start crying for the real time. You begin to sob, pushing Wooyoung away from you in a desperate attempt to get out of his arms. You can feel the wetness underneath you and it makes you feel worse and worse. You need to get out of here now. Your behaviour frightens them to death and San's hands are on your body again, squeezing your shoulders gently.
"Stop, stop for a second, Y/N. It's all right, Chagia. We have you."
You freeze at the sound of your name, like a deer caught in the headlights.
In anticipation of his next move, your whole body tenses like a string. Wooyoung's fingers intertwine with yours. It's a familiar gesture, so familiar to you, so ordinary, so perfected over the years of your friendship. San lets you go when he realises you're not going anywhere, and his face comes to rest next to Wooyoung's as you look at him.
He's handsome, too, to the point of madness, and trembles at the knees. His cheeks are flushed. There's still a lingering gleam of lust and excitement in his eyes, but with a touch of strange emotion. His plush lips are soft and swollen from all the kissing, and his body glistens with sweat. And the reason he looks like that is because of you. You look at Wooyoung and see that he looks exactly the same, but the emotion in his eyes is more obvious than ever.
You want to crawl off his lap and cower in shame in the corner of the room so you don't have to look at all that tenderness and loveliness in his foxy eyes. You can handle his cheeky, flirtatious backside with ease, but this kind of Wooyoung is new territory for you.
"We… shit. This shouldn't have happened. This is the first rational thought to come out of your mouth all day. And you should have said it a lot sooner, before your two best friends made you cum twice with a squirting orgasm.
"Chagia, I think there's something we need to talk about, but first let's get you back to your normal self."
You don't argue; just nod and realize that San is absolutely right. You look like a complete mess, covered in saliva and lubricant. You can feel Wooyoung's cum seeping through the fabric of his pajama bottoms and drying on the inside of your thigh.
You look fucked.
"Yes, I think we have a lot to talk about."
It sounds terribly stupid, but what else can you say? Can we forget it? Or can we fuck again?
All your years of sexual longing for them have turned into a resounding slap in your face.
"Go take a bath, Peach, and we'll talk. San and I will take care of the rest."
For some reason, this sentence gave you a vague feeling of déjà vu. But you pushed the thought out of your head as quickly as it had come.
"Okay."
You finally slide off Wooyoung's lap, ignoring their stares at your almost naked body, there's no point in covering up or acting like a shy maiden, San's fingertips were rubbing your pussy just five minutes ago, bringing you to some kind of crazy orgasm, and the entire lower half of Woo's body is drenched in your secretions. If you've ever wanted to imagine how your friendship would turn out, this is it.
You trudge to the bathroom on your tired legs, pulling off your disgustingly wet thong on the way and throwing it on the floor. You turn on the light, turn on the tap and the whole room is immediately filled with the warm steam of hot water. Outside the door you can hear the muffled voices of the boys, who seem to be having some sort of heated argument, judging by San's irritated moaning and Wooyoung's loud whining.
You don't want to go into details; you still have time to destroy yourself. Your eyes catch sight of your reflection in the mirror. Tomorrow has come much earlier for you, if the fucked-up look on your face is any indication. Dishevelled hair, hickey marks, bruises and swollen lips from biting. What a beautiful morning after graduation!
"Wooyoung, you should have waited for me." San's voice is much louder now.
"As if I'm the only one who fucked her. Don't try to tell me it's all my fault."
You still don't want to join the conversation.
A pink, glistening puddle of something that smells like candy spreads across the bathtub. Thanks to Mingi, you have a whole collection of these colourful bombs. He's always had a soft spot for all things cute and charming, and he's taken every opportunity to spoil you to death with them.
With a tired sigh, you take another look at yourself in the mirror. So, Peach, are you ready for the consequences?
Turning away from your reflection, you lock the door with a click.
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arminsumi · 1 year ago
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we've had ex geto... but what about ex gojo?
YOUR FAVORITE EX
↳ GOJO さとる + fem!reader
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Note : ooo... ex gojo 🤤 hope u likey
Warnings : 🔞 minors do not read/interact : contains smut/explicit content, kinda toxic themes, some angst, baby trapping, pregnancy, dirty talk, unprotected sex + creampies, possessiveness
Playme : streets
🍒 More from Jay : Gojo works / Gojo fave works / JJK works / oct. reqs open
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Ex!Gojo makes the break up everyone's business. And of course it's you breaking up with his obnoxious, overdramatic ass. Multiple times, too. You two have broken up so many times in fact that your friends just don't take it seriously anymore when you announce "We're breaking up". That just means "We're getting back together in two weeks (lol)."
Ex!Gojo pulls the "I can't find anyone like you" and the "Aw, don't be like that, baby" cards on you.
Ex!Gojo claims to be your favorite ex. Yeah you hate him... buuut he's still your favorite... right? Right? He'll nag you to admit it. It makes his heart flutter and ego swell bigger than his head.
Ex!Gojo is a menace, always deterring your potential new lovers and declining dates on your behalf. He gives you a stupid excuse with that cheeky smirk, "What? It's not like they could love you better than me, anyways. I'm the best. Don't waste your time. Just come back to me, yeah? You know my arms are still open to you."
Ex!Gojo doesn't act like an ex at all. He still kisses you. Still hugs you. Invites you for every party. Visits your apartment at 2 AM when he's drunk and rambles to you about all the crazy things he always rambled about at 2 AM. And you don't treat him like an ex because... his kisses put you in a trance. Then you realize oh, we're broken up, what the hell.
Ex!Gojo clings to your body and holds it with the same possessiveness that he always used to. He places his big hand on your hip and grips it tight, especially at parties. "Stay close to me."
Ex!Gojo taunts you during those late-night hatefucks, "You missed this fat cock fucking up your guts, huh? I know you did. Don't you fucking lie to me." while he's balls deep in you, skin slapping loudly against yours in the backseat of his car. He just kindly offered you a drive home, and then one thing led to another and you ended up on his lap having his big hands moving your hips up and down. "That's it, admit how much you missed me 'n bounce on this cock, baby. Admit it."
Ex!Gojo fucks you harder when he's your ex, making sure you're super full and stuffed with his cock. He loves molding your tiny hole to accommodate his shape, hitting your sweet spots with mean pounding thrusts until you scream those three little words for him. "I miss you!" he smiles when he hears this, presses his forehead to yours and coos while cumming inside, "Missed you too, baby. Missed this pussy. You know it's m-mine forever, don't you? No one can fuck you better than I can..." and it's true, no one knows the map of your sweet spots and erogenous zones better than he does. He's masterful at pleasuring you.
Ex!Gojo cums inside you more than he did while you two were dating. Who knows why. Seems like his animalistic, primal brain kicked in and he thought well if I put a baby in you... you'll have a piece of me forever. You'll have to come back to me. And his seed is potent. You bet you're getting pregnant. He has the wolfiest smile when you bitterly show him the pregnancy test. "Ooh, baby I'm so proud of that little pussy for getting pregnant. Let's have a celebratory fuck."
Ex!Gojo knows that no matter where you go, he'll always find you. His high school sweetheart. His five year girlfriend. The mother of his child. The only woman that's ever had such a strong hold on him. The only one he's ever been weakened by.
Ex!Gojo cries sometimes after creaming up inside your pussy, "Please come back... I miss you so bad..." and starts sobbing like a puppy into the crook of your neck when you run your fingers through his snowy hair.
Ex!Gojo feels his broken heart get pieced back together when you finally return to him. And just like that, he slots half his soul into yours. "Baby... you're the best thing this world ever gave me. Just let me marry you, please..."
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© arminsumi
Do not plagiarize / repost / translate / copy layouts / etc.
Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.
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mostlysignssomeportents · 7 months ago
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Too big to care
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I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me in BOSTON with Randall "XKCD" Munroe (Apr 11), then PROVIDENCE (Apr 12), and beyond!
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Remember the first time you used Google search? It was like magic. After years of progressively worsening search quality from Altavista and Yahoo, Google was literally stunning, a gateway to the very best things on the internet.
Today, Google has a 90% search market-share. They got it the hard way: they cheated. Google spends tens of billions of dollars on payola in order to ensure that they are the default search engine behind every search box you encounter on every device, every service and every website:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/03/not-feeling-lucky/#fundamental-laws-of-economics
Not coincidentally, Google's search is getting progressively, monotonically worse. It is a cesspool of botshit, spam, scams, and nonsense. Important resources that I never bothered to bookmark because I could find them with a quick Google search no longer show up in the first ten screens of results:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/21/im-feeling-unlucky/#not-up-to-the-task
Even after all that payola, Google is still absurdly profitable. They have so much money, they were able to do a $80 billion stock buyback. Just a few months later, Google fired 12,000 skilled technical workers. Essentially, Google is saying that they don't need to spend money on quality, because we're all locked into using Google search. It's cheaper to buy the default search box everywhere in the world than it is to make a product that is so good that even if we tried another search engine, we'd still prefer Google.
This is enshittification. Google is shifting value away from end users (searchers) and business customers (advertisers, publishers and merchants) to itself:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/05/the-map-is-not-the-territory/#apor-locksmith
And here's the thing: there are search engines out there that are so good that if you just try them, you'll get that same feeling you got the first time you tried Google.
When I was in Tucson last month on my book-tour for my new novel The Bezzle, I crashed with my pals Patrick and Teresa Nielsen Hayden. I've know them since I was a teenager (Patrick is my editor).
We were sitting in his living room on our laptops – just like old times! – and Patrick asked me if I'd tried Kagi, a new search-engine.
Teresa chimed in, extolling the advanced search features, the "lenses" that surfaced specific kinds of resources on the web.
I hadn't even heard of Kagi, but the Nielsen Haydens are among the most effective researchers I know – both in their professional editorial lives and in their many obsessive hobbies. If it was good enough for them…
I tried it. It was magic.
No, seriously. All those things Google couldn't find anymore? Top of the search pile. Queries that generated pages of spam in Google results? Fucking pristine on Kagi – the right answers, over and over again.
That was before I started playing with Kagi's lenses and other bells and whistles, which elevated the search experience from "magic" to sorcerous.
The catch is that Kagi costs money – after 100 queries, they want you to cough up $10/month ($14 for a couple or $20 for a family with up to six accounts, and some kid-specific features):
https://kagi.com/settings?p=billing_plan&plan=family
I immediately bought a family plan. I've been using it for a month. I've basically stopped using Google search altogether.
Kagi just let me get a lot more done, and I assumed that they were some kind of wildly capitalized startup that was running their own crawl and and their own data-centers. But this morning, I read Jason Koebler's 404 Media report on his own experiences using it:
https://www.404media.co/friendship-ended-with-google-now-kagi-is-my-best-friend/
Koebler's piece contained a key detail that I'd somehow missed:
When you search on Kagi, the service makes a series of “anonymized API calls to traditional search indexes like Google, Yandex, Mojeek, and Brave,” as well as a handful of other specialized search engines, Wikimedia Commons, Flickr, etc. Kagi then combines this with its own web index and news index (for news searches) to build the results pages that you see. So, essentially, you are getting some mix of Google search results combined with results from other indexes.
In other words: Kagi is a heavily customized, anonymized front-end to Google.
The implications of this are stunning. It means that Google's enshittified search-results are a choice. Those ad-strewn, sub-Altavista, spam-drowned search pages are a feature, not a bug. Google prefers those results to Kagi, because Google makes more money out of shit than they would out of delivering a good product:
https://www.theverge.com/2024/4/2/24117976/best-printer-2024-home-use-office-use-labels-school-homework
No wonder Google spends a whole-ass Twitter every year to make sure you never try a rival search engine. Bottom line: they ran the numbers and figured out their most profitable course of action is to enshittify their flagship product and bribe their "competitors" like Apple and Samsung so that you never try another search engine and have another one of those magic moments that sent all those Jeeves-askin' Yahooers to Google a quarter-century ago.
One of my favorite TV comedy bits is Lily Tomlin as Ernestine the AT&T operator; Tomlin would do these pitches for the Bell System and end every ad with "We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company":
https://snltranscripts.jt.org/76/76aphonecompany.phtml
Speaking of TV comedy: this week saw FTC chair Lina Khan appear on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. It was amazing:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaDTiWaYfcM
The coverage of Khan's appearance has focused on Stewart's revelation that when he was doing a show on Apple TV, the company prohibited him from interviewing her (presumably because of her hostility to tech monopolies):
https://www.thebignewsletter.com/p/apple-got-caught-censoring-its-own
But for me, the big moment came when Khan described tech monopolists as "too big to care."
What a phrase!
Since the subprime crisis, we're all familiar with businesses being "too big to fail" and "too big to jail." But "too big to care?" Oof, that got me right in the feels.
Because that's what it feels like to use enshittified Google. That's what it feels like to discover that Kagi – the good search engine – is mostly Google with the weights adjusted to serve users, not shareholders.
Google used to care. They cared because they were worried about competitors and regulators. They cared because their workers made them care:
https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/2019/4/4/18295933/google-cancels-ai-ethics-board
Google doesn't care anymore. They don't have to. They're the search company.
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If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/04/teach-me-how-to-shruggie/#kagi
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vivwritesfics · 10 months ago
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Gremlin
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I get paid to be his best friend.
Lance couldn't begin to describe just how much her saying that hurt him. She made it sound as though she was paid to keep him company, when in actual fact they had been best friends for years and years and years and years.
She was his assistant, but assistant was a loose title. The more Lance thought about it, the more he realised that maybe she was just paid to be his best friend. They spent any free moment goofing off together, probably annoying everybody around them.
"Lancenot Stroll," she said as she strode towards him in her green Aston Martin shirt. She had a notebook tucked under her arms, but Lance knew they were full of odd little drawings, most of them inappropriate.
Lancenot Stroll. She'd been calling him that since they were kids. Lance did a bit where he pretended to hate it, but he really loved it.
"Gremlin," he said as she hopped up onto the little table. "What do you want?"
His racing suit was around his hips and his white fireproofs covered his body. He looked good, undeniably so.
Y/N leaned back against the wall as she looked at her best friend. "Can't I just want to enjoy your company?"
"No."
Yes, she could.
Lance leaned his elbows on the table and looked up at her. She couldn't stop herself from running her hands through his hair and messing it up.
Lance gave her a joking glare and, goddamn, if he didn't look cute. Y/N booped his nose and leaned back.
As Lance prepared himself for the race, Y/N scrolled through her tiktok with the sound off. She watched through the F1 tiktoks that appeared on her for you page, most of them about Lance (if it wasn't for her, he'd never know about any of the drama).
"Did you know there's a thing on tiktok where people say how many shots it would take for them to get with drivers?" She asked as she gently kicked her legs.
Lance looked up, something of a grin playing on her lips. "How many to get with me?" He asked as he walked closer and placed his hands on her thighs.
She pretended not to notice, but his touch was warm, addicting. Y/N swiped through the slides on the tiktok until she found Lance. "Two," she answered and read out what they had to say about him. "So fucking cute, like seriously, and, I'm so freaking jealous of Y/N I'd do anything to be in her position."
His dark eyes stared unto her own. "How many shots would it take you?"
"Easy, zero," she answered just a little bit too quickly. Lance's eyes lit up. "Because it's not happening."
Lance pouted at her. In response, Y/N squeezed his cheeks together. She loved it when he pouted, couldn't get another of it.
His facial hair burned against her fingertips as she pulled away. "You're cute, Lancenot," she said and hopped off of the table to 'do her job'.
"You are, too, Gremlin," he said as she walked out of the room.
***
"I get paid to be his best friend," Y/N said with a grin to the audiences of the Aston Martin tiktok page.
Lance watched her. He couldn't help but grin as she spun and snapped her fingers towards the camera. "Gremlin!" He shouted and she walked away from the camera, leaving the editor of the video to do their job.
Lance opened his arm and she tucked herself beneath it. "Good luck, Lancenot," she said and reached up to kiss his cheek.
He tightened his arms around her, gently rocking her from side to side. It was a pre race ritual; Lance called it his good luck charm.
"Come with me to the track?" He asked, kissing the top of her head.
Y/N thought about it. Well, she made it look like she thought about it. "This may come as a surprise to you, but I actually have work to do."
"What? No you don't."
"Lancey Lance," she said as she pulled away. "I need to plan all of the fun things for us to do while we're in the United States," she said and walked away from him. "Good luuuuuck!" She called as she walked away, heading for the privacy of his unused drivers room.
Before the race started, before the driver's got into their cars, Y/N's phone buzzed
Estie Bestie x
You guys are so cute together
But you should definitely get a room
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savnofilter · 3 months ago
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Third Date | t. amajiki
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      Pro Hero!Yandere!Tamaki Amajiki x [FEM]Reader
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WARNING(S): sexual content, possessive ideations, stalking, mentions of voyeurism, Tamaki was pinning for awhile, sex after third date, oral sex (f ->m), age gap (~3 years), (new) established relationship.
COUNT: 1.9k words.
READ MORE: masterlist | adult masterlist
A/N: this originally was supposed to be a losing virginity fic but wasn't really feeling it.... I'll have to go back and edit some stuff if I do make a pt. 2 into that. this was supposed to be from a req but it def ain't it follow the order. 😭 so here's this, ig.
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You looked so beautiful tonight.
Alas, finally , it wasn't only meetings and missions that you two found yourselves busy with seeing each other. Instead, you were now officially dating and here you were in the back of his car at the end of your third date. Consequently, today was the third date you two have been on and he was getting ready to propose. Yes, propose.
There was no better sight than observing the way your tongue gilded so effortlessly against the underside of his cock, your taste buds adding a rough and smooth sensation that made him shiver. Just as you made it to the tip, you looked up at him in the dimly lit car, holding back a smirk as you watched him tremble and tense up at the undivided attention from you. Softly humming in delight you finally take in his cock once again and moan as you relax your throat to deep throat his third leg.
Before you had agreed to dating the young man, you were very much aware of his “crush”.
You had never interacted with him that much and hardly knew about him from your school years; except for the strong title of being in the “Big 3”. That wasn't a title to take very lightly if we're being honest. Him and his friends (or friend, rather) would watch their seniors train, and he wasn't the first or last individual to be entranced by you. Though, unlike the others who would simply try to impress or strike up conversations with you, he was the opposite. Amajiki would quietly watch from afar, drag behind, be the most unnoticeable person in the room which is what intrigued you. Soon you'd realize he was everywhere and when he graduated he was officially part of the same agency as you. As slick as he thought he was, you could tell what he was trying to achieve.
So you played along too, only because you found it amusing. You never had interest in him as you chalked it up to him just really admiring you a lot and his passiveness wasn't really your style anyways. Besides that, he wasn’t the only dedicated fan you had seen from over the years. But nothing could prepare you for his actual intentions. It wasn't until he started making advances as the years progressed that you had no choice but to take him seriously and not only mistake him for being an avid #1 fan.
What you didn't know is why he wouldn't overtly make himself known to you.
From the incident which you don't even remember as your first time meeting him, was the day you saved his life. You two had lived in the same district as one another and of course you being the more trained and skilled aspiring hero meant that you were out on the field quite often.
One of the days where Tamaki thought it was high time for him to go out by himself was when a villain decided to wreak havoc. Although he could have most certainly fought the villain off if his diet was right that day, he likes to think that the slim chance was because you two were destined to meet. To keep it real simple, you changed his trajectory. Effortlessly with a strong grip and amazing prowess, it was obvious that you were meant to be a hero and sooner than later, his love.
When you had asked him if he was alright and checked up on him once the villain was apprehended, he could barely manage to verbally reply to you. Pathetically nodding his head ‘yes’ and ‘no’ to whatever you asked of him. It was only then he finally felt comfortable in aligning himself with his destined path to become a hero. Your courageous attitude and kind nature was more natural than anything.
The years he spent in school he studied you along with his regular material. Tamaki would watch you closely and miss no chance to see you in person. When he'd hear anyone bad mouthing you they would no longer exist, the idea of someone so lost and in denial couldn't and shouldn't be breathing the same air as you.
He'd lament the days and nights where it'd be rumored of you having your relationships, hell, you even had a partner when you saved him that fateful evening. But none of that stopped him from getting rid of them, just like he had done with the people who spoke ill of you. You only needed him in your life; anyone who could step between that was a threat he was more than willing to get rid of. Besides, it added as extra training to his schedule anyways.
When he had finally integrated himself into your agency is when it felt like he was officially reaching somewhere with you. The moment you two made eye contact and you remembered his face only meant one thing: you two were meant to be. He didn't care if you didn't remember his name. He didn't care if he had to get rid of the people who were trying to stand between you two. He didn't care even if he had to play the long game. Tamaki could wait, but this was the sure sign that you were finally meant to be his.
So he courted you. Made sure both of your schedules aligned, kept his eye on you and made sure to place himself in your life like he should have done many moons ago. He'd get you small things, finish your sentences and even saved you from a few close calls regarding management and the public eye. It was only a matter of time he asked you out and you said yes.
The first few dates you two had were the best ones you had ever been on, at least that's what you told him. Unbeknownst to you, Tamaki had been saving his money since the first day he laid his eyes on you, specifically gathering his resources just for this moment. He even monitored you on the countless of dates you've been on just to make sure when he got his rightful chance to be with you, he would get it right the first time.
The first date he had to take it slow. The way you dressed up so nice just for him, treated him kindly and smelled so, so, so good had Tamaki obsessed with you (not like he wasn't already before). It was hard to control himself with the slutty outfit you chose to wear, though. Tamaki vividly forged the memory of how your bottoms fit snug around the right places and how your top gave a peak of what hid underneath. Wasn't anything he hadn't seen but he had wished he could have been able to see a closer look that night.
He had picked you up from your penthouse and taken you to a fancy dinner on a terrace, separated from everyone else. The way your eyes lit up and how your hand absentmindedly gripped his forearm in masked excitement was an unforgettable moment. How you leaned into his ear to keep your voice at a formal volume, later gripping his hand and squeezing it in your mildly sweaty palms. Immediately his third leg twitched to life, more than it already had been, from feeling you innocently place your hands on him. Tamaki would've done everything in his power to kiss you right then and there but he had to hold himself back.
The second date was more relaxed, taking you to an exhibition though it was still formal nonetheless. Most memorable were the pictures you insisted you guys took together, offhandedly remarking how much you wanted to visit an art museum as it had been so long since you had last seen one. He had known that of course, often eavesdropping on your conversations with friends about it. That same night when he dropped you off home and walked you to your door, your face was as bright as ever and you two never broke eye contact. He was practically itching to lean in and kiss you until you took the initiative upon yourself. He was so taken aback that he completely froze up, unable to believe that he's finally been able to feel your lips on his.
You had laughed when you pulled away, telling him you'd see him again on Monday and left him awestruck in infatuation.
In complete embarrassment, he had sent you flowers as a good morning gift along with your favorite sweets to thank you for going out with him. Needless to say, you certainly didn't hate your evening out as you were the first to ask when he'd be available soon after. You had invited him out to an arcade you've been wanting to try and figured he'd be the best candidate for the venture.
Which brings you to your third date, with you in the back seat of his car; hand wrapped around his cock as your tongue teased at his sensitive tip while your other hand fondled his swollen balls. He hadn't planned for it to pan out like this but he certainly wasn't complaining.
All his hard work was worth the outcome. With the heavy tints on his windows, having the lights on as his car sat in the almost desolate parking lot wasn't as nerve-wracking as it could've been. Not that he would mind the risk of someone else seeing you like this, he merely cared about the fact you would create a fuss if you were caught. He tried not to get jealous and butter thinking about it, but his eyes did narrow in mild discontent at not being first. The way that your mouth took in his length expertly showed the many instances of experience you've had. Before he only had the chance to peek through a window or maybe a closet door, and that most certainly didn't beat having the real thing for himself. It took everything in him not to cum just from the first contact you had with him tonight.
Just as his thoughts slow to a stand still, you bobbed your head faster, hand still deft in busying itself with his cock and balls that couldn't fit in your mouth. You moaned at the taste of his creamy pre-cum hitting the back of the throat, fighting the urge to gag on his impressive length. It wasn't until he started bucking his hips into your mouth that you had to grip his hips to sturdy yourself, except he took that as a sign to carry on.
Your muffled whimpers and the erotic sounds of him now throat fucking you filled the car. His large hands had found solace in the beautiful mane of your hair, pushing and pulling to just to get the right pace going. You were evidently struggling to keep up but he has no problem teaching you how. But for now, it wasn't important. The moment you two made eye contact all he could think about how alluring you looked in the dim lights as your submissive eyes looked up at him for guidance.
“C-Cum…!” Tamaki’s face flushed even darker as he failed to express what he meant and tilted his head back against the awkward juncture of the window and his backseat.
A gurgle from you follows his warning, face fully pressed into his pelvis and stuffed into his tuft. Admittedly you were dripping under your clothes from this encounter alone, now getting a proper whiff of his musk sending you into a state that was unbearable.
You greedily bobbed your head to coax him to fruition, more than happy to take it in. You softly hum as you suck him of all he's worth and slowly pull away once you are finished. A string of saliva connects your bruised lips to his wet length, your tongue darting out to lick your lips with a teasing smile to follow. You lightly tap his thigh for him to look at you, and reach up to cup his jaw in a gentle grasp as you invited him,
“We’re not too far from my house, let's get you all cleaned up.”
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wellofdean · 8 months ago
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I read your post about Supernatural being queer somehow from season 1 and I have two questions.
1. Don't you think it straight-appropriates the word "queer" to say it just means "not normal"? That argument seems disingenuous to me, and a lot of us want representation, and to see that word applied to explicit depiction of queer sexuality, and it's a cheat that they don't. Queer studies did start as the study of queer sexualities and the experience of queer people.
2. Are you saying that the makers of Supernatural intended for it to be "flesh on queer bones"? Do you think they intentionally sat down to tell a queer story?
Those are good questions my anonymous friend. Thank you for asking. Here are my thoughts:
To answer your first question: no, I don't think it appropriates anything. Here's why: firstly, if we're talking about sexuality and gender, it's queer 101 that no one owes anyone a justification of their queerness, and not everyone who is queer is interested in labeling it or making it legible to you, and they have no obligation to do so, and not doing so doesn't make them any less queer. Furthermore, some people who are queer are not interested in sex, so what about them?
All of that together is why, for me, the entire queer project is much more deeply about non-compliance with hegemony, and specifically with hegemony around gender roles, sexuality and to put it under a big umbrella, patriarchy, than it is about who you fuck. Those things extend into so many other aspects of life that I think you can easily talk about "queering" a very wide range of topics, and possibly? ANY TOPIC.
You are responding to this post, I think, and in it, I made a choice to talk about family and hunting, and our heroes roles and characterizations in that, and did not talk about gender shenanigans or sexuality, because my point was that even before we get to anything to do with it, Sam and Dean are immersed in a queered world in a fundamental, structural way. That said, I assure you that if you go back into season 1 of Supernatural, you will find LOADS that could be said about gender and sexuality, too. As well as other things, and a particularly important area, as @ironworked pointed out in the tags, is blue collar/white collar class issues.
As I said, the depth of queerness in Supernatural is actually dizzying just in terms of the story's BONES to say nothing of how they flesh it out. Queerness is about deviation from the norm. It's about rebellion and disobedience against hegemonic systems for the sake of personal authenticity and love.
Think about Cas for a minute. Cas's whole story is that he rejects his role in a hegemonic heaven. He rebels for love, and that is pretty explicit as early as season 4 when he tells Dean "We're making it up as we go". Fellas, that is THE QUEEREST SHIT EVER even if he didn't do it for Dean, and like... HE DID IT FOR DEAN. Cas did not have to tell Dean he loved him for me to know it, and for Cas to be a deeply queered character. When he DID say it, I wasn't the least bit surprised he was in love with Dean, because seriously, we been knew. I was only surprised I got to have the immense pleasure of hearing him say it and looking at Dean's face while he took it in. Jesus. I will NEVER RECOVER.
This is my perspective on representation in Supernatural: It's excellent, and I relate to, and feel seen by it as a queer person. Nobody needs to get fucked on the maps table for me to do the math that this is a queer story. It is very, very, very thoroughgoingly canonically queer in so many ways, and not all of them are to do with sex. I think some fans will only allow it to be called queer if dudes make out in it. I am not one of those fans.
As to your second question, I think there is a wealth of evidence in the filmic oeuvre of Eric Kripke to suggest that as an artist and a writer, he is concerned or maybe even preoccupied with masculinity issues and issues around family, and around the way patriarchy fucks men up. So, yes. I think he knew what he was doing and he knew that queerness was part of the mix. For fucks sake, it's a family of men who hunt monsters. That is very fucking on the nose. Do I think he kicked off Supernatural in 2005 planning a 15 year operatic queer romance between Cas and Dean? No. I don't think anyone planned for it to go as long as it did, and it's a matter of record that some things were influenced by fan response, actors' chemistry, different writers and showrunners' preferences and etc. What I will say is that when they had a choice to "straighten shit out" or lean into the queerness, they fucking leaned in, nearly EVERY TIME. Like, it's pretty amazing how consistently they lean the fuck in.
I'll admit -- I wasn't watching it with those eyes the first time, and I didn't give it much real estate in my mind when I watched it as it aired from 2006 to the end, but the last three episodes reshaped it for me and made me angry, and also made me need to watch it all again, this time with an explicitly queer lens, and BOY HOWDY let me tell you this: the Supernatch rewatch journey is a wild and wonderful trip to Queertown. It is legit more difficult to argue that Dean is straight than it is to argue that he is queer. There is a full on CORNUCOPIA of story evidence to support that read and relatively little that convincingly counters it on the straight side, and that starts right at the beginning, when they bend pretty baby Dean over a police car in episode one, and he smirks insouciantly in his lip gloss. Do I think everyone involved knew how that looked? Sexy, submissive and a bit gay?
YES I DO.
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ktaerssoi · 6 months ago
Text
caught lacking
paige bueckers x fem!reader
summary: you get caught watching edits of paige.
notes: not proof read.
you had been getting edits of the team for a while, most of them were pretty cool and you liked to interact with the fans. that being said, some of the paige edits had you thinking about her more often.
you were in the weight room with ice, you had taken a little water break while she went off to finish some set. you hadn't noticed her walk over to you until you heard her laughing. you turn around quickly, shutting your phone off as you began to get flustered.
"it was on my for you page! it's not like i looked it up!" you were tryijng to defend yourself but you weren't helping much. "well your for you page is based off of things FOR YOU, so girl if you think paige is fine just come out and say it." ice smirks at you as you cross your arms, waiting to hear your confession.
"she's pretty yeah, but i wouldn't get with her. we're friends." you weren't even convincing yourself at this point, you knew you were in for it. "listen just please don't tell anyone else on the team, please."
because you have the best luck ever, paige, nika, and kk all walked into the weight room as you were speaking. your team was a nosy to say the least, so you weren't shocked when you heard "girl boo, i want to hear! you gotta tell me"
you shook your head at kk, sighing as you heard her start to complain about being out of the loop. you tense for a moment as you feel an arm around your shoulder but quickly relax when you realize its just paige, ice giving you a very obvious look.
kk, being the annoyingly observant idiot that she is gasps as she puts the pieces together. "finally!" paige and nika look over confused from the conversation they were having, and your face is paling considerably.
"kk bro shut up, its not what you think it is." you brush her off, going to focus back on whatever paige was talking about but she had taken her arm away confused. "wait what? i don't get it? what can't me a nika know?"
paige looks a tad betrayed, as if you holding information from her was a devastating loss. "it's nothing P, kk is just getting a head of herself." paige narrows her eyes at your excuse, not quite buying it.
"mhm okay," she goes back to whatever and it seems the topic is dropped.
-
a few days later you had gone out to dinner with the team, everyone had gotten up to get drinks but you, leaving you to entertain yourself for a minute or two. you pull out your phone, opening tiktok and seeing edits of paige and kate martin on your screen, scrolling for a little you find a weirdly entrancing edit of paige.
"hey, i know you said you didnt want a drink but i got you a dr. pepper.." paige's voice trails off as she notices clips of herself on your screen. you jump at the sound of her voice, causing you to drop your phone, the phone that it still playing once paige picks it up.
"i swear that was random, i almost never get those." you hurry to explain yourself, but are quickly cut off by paige. "dude, if you think i'm going to judge you based off the edits you watch of me, then yiou have never seen the ones of you. i mean seriously, you look good."
you nod at paige's words, a bit dumbfounded that the girl you had been slightly obsessing over just admitted to watching tiktok edits of you. "well, sounds like we should both get one of those privacy screen protectors." she laughs a little, nodding.
"also, um, sorry if this is weird but would you want to catch dinner some time? like just the two of us?? it doesn't have to be a date or anything," you cut paige out of her ramble, nodding as the team returned.
"sure P, just text me."
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