#seriously wishing i had

[atypicalstrong]

heeeeeeey these meds are great actually. like i'm simultaneously mad/frustrated with all my old doctors and myself for never suggesting or seeking out mood stabilizers before. like i didn't remember this, but according to my records my old psychiatrist recommended 2 years of ECT without ever having given me a mood stabilizer to try. like. that's wild. it makes me so mad. just bc my diagnosis back then was major depression and cyclothymia, mood stabilizers were never considered but electroshock WAS...

but also, and more importantly, i'm just so THRILLED to have them now. like. i thought my brain was just broken beyond repair. and in a way it is, but that doesn't mean i can't do daily maintenance. i haven't felt this good since 2019. at least.

anyways the point is, if you have bipolar disorder or cyclothymia, maybe try taking a mood stabilizer BEFORE agreeing to ECT. even if you're young. no one explained to me that mood stabilizers (specifically anti-psychotic class ime, not anti-convulsant class or lithium) could help where anti depressants failed. I didn't even know I had a cyclothymia diagnosis until 3 months after I started ECT.

just because you've tried lots of anti depressants or anti anxiety meds, doesn't mean there aren't meds out there that can help you. do your own research. make sure you know all your diagnoses. get second and third opinions. ECT should always be a last resort for suicidal depression and/or bipolar patients. (obligatory "i cannot speak to ECT when used to treat epilepsy that's a totally different ball game")

you don't have to keep living like this. there are other options. it can and WILL get better even though it's not easy.

[curesforwritersblock]

happy pride month everyone 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇮🇹

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Sublime Equine.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[pickedyou]

It’s still unreasonably warm where I live, so I made them suffer with me.

[blackkatdraws2]

Han Myungoh does the shikanoko nokonoko koshitantan dance

[asbestos-11]

they're so sick and disgusting, i need to shoot them on sight (said lovingly)

reblogs highly encouraged *cocks gun*

[junewild]

Watching Sam & Brennan talk about the beauty of frivolity, of adults playing silly games just as seriously as they fight to survive, and... yeah. There are some things that keep us alive, and there are some things that make life worth living, and I think games are one of those things that fall into both categories. Games make our lives better and they make us better at being alive. I think that's pretty cool.

[hammerings]

And they made it back ⏳💫

[cuubism]

idk if i'm just a joyless feminist buzzkill or something but i find the instareels/tiktok trend of joking about "when the workday starts feeling like women fighting for equal work was a mistake" "women in the past fought for equal opportunities and now i have to go in the office when i could be staying home to cook 🙄" so DEEPLY unfunny. leaving aside that housewives work equally hard it's just unpaid, also leaving aside how the idea that women never worked and just tended the home is ahistorical--Women's financial independence is a joke to you? Women being able to choose their own life path instead of being forced to rely on men for survival is funny? Go talk to a woman who couldn't leave her abusive husband because she had no work history and no way of financially supporting herself and I think you'll find it significantly less amusing.

[constarlations]

🍊 Big Sis Nemona 🍊

my favorite Unovan/Latina Pokémon trainer ever created

Twitter Link

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Chat have we discussed drunk chess with cherik cause i just think. That would be the darnedest silliest thing they could do

[uncanny-tranny]

Good news! You aren't required to make your hobbies and passions "marketable." In fact, your crafts, hobbies, and passions don't even need to be public if you so choose. You don't have to spend all of your energy becoming perfect if you aren't enjoying the process. You are not a product, you are a person, a creative, and your work also does not need to be a product.

[glassrunner]

My Top 5:

anonymous asked: top 5 locations in a game of your choice?

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

A gift horse for @piosplayhouse

[val-of-the-north]

Tibia Mariners and Those Lost in Death

While I am at it, I should talk about a detail found in Messmer's Shadow Keep. On the way to the Specimen Storehouse, you'll be faced with a peculiar sight: boats lit on fire.

This seems to be a callback to Viking funerals, except the boats are placed in a row and burnt on land. It's certainly an odd practice, but it might only be done this way because Messmer's forces are far from an accessible shore or water that's deep enough to perform it normally.

However, something else caught my eye. The boats looked quite familiar so I went back to check and...

It was the EXACT model as the boats used by the Tibia Mariners! Perhaps it is obvious seeing as the Messmer boats are used in a funerary rite, but I think it's still quite a significant connection, especially since the old Mariners have gotten quite a bit of new lore in the DLC. In Charo's Hidden Grave we can find the skulls of boatmen as a crafting material, presumably that of previous Tibia Mariners.

This is outright confirmed after finding the lone Tibia Mariner in the area, who upon defeat drops the Tibia's Cookbook, which describes them as the oldest of grave keepers.

(Btw I love the detail of the piece of lace cloth and golden ornaments, they are the same found on the Mariners themselves. They even come with the same ghostly glow)

This is quite the revelation, as prior to Shadow of the Erdtree we had no way of knowing that these guys actually predated the spread of Deathroot and Godwyn's transformation into the Prince of Death. And how could we doubt that, since they even drop Deathroot themselves? But there was something that most people have neglected to note about the Mariners, me included.

In the base game, the Tibia Mariner found in the Wyndham Ruins drops a spell called Tibia's Summons. This inconspicuous sorcery of the servants of death actually holds a perplexing description which mentions a group known as "Those Lost in Death".

There was something seemingly redundant and unexplained about these guys. What does "Lost in Death" mean? Why aren't they simply called "Those Who Live in Death"? It wouldn't blame anyone for assuming that this description just contains an outdated term for the undead before they stuck with the one used in-game. However, through the Tibia's Cookbook, we find a NEW reference to this same concept.

Roughly the same title (Those Lost in Death = one lost in death), the same underlying sentiment, and we have verifiable proof that the Tibia Mariners are outright ancient... so what's the deal with this? Well, I have a theory.

The descriptions of these things hint at the fact that the dead have been wandering for a very long time, and that they are in need of leadership. Before the DLC, it was easy to assume that the undead were simply a result of Deathroot, and the game seemed to suggest the same thing by stating multiple times that it was the origin of Those Who Live in Death...

... but that's the thing! Prior to Deathroot connecting them to Godwyn, the undead amounted only to shambling corpses. They were not LIVING in Death, but simply LOST in it, which is how the Mariners were able to control them in ancient times through the use of sounds, both their horns and the Calls of Tibia. It's only through the guidance of a lord, in this case the Prince of Death, that they found an identity and new life.

It's likely the undead waned in the era of Marika because of her elaborate Erdtree burials and general control of life and death. Heck, the figure of Rosus, who guides us to the Catacombs, must have also played a big part in their disappearance. His axe has a similar power to the Tibia's Summons and it's called Rosus's Summons. Its description also mentions that the dead easily lose their way, meaning that Rosus was meant to lend the dead a guiding hand. "Those Lost in Death" would be lost no more.

Without people Lost in Death, the Mariners kind of lost their purpose and vanished for a long time... until the Shattering and the rise of Those Who Live in Death of course. It might mean that the only reason they hold onto Deathroot is because it attracts and connects the new undead.

I guess Godwyn was meant to be a sort of "lighthouse" for all undead. He would make sure they never lost themselves but also that they would be allowed to live instead of being forced back to rest like with Rosus and Marika. Him being a "lighthouse" also fits the marine theme that all this death business is going for quite neatly I think...

But to return to what started this... maybe those boats lit on fire are Messmer's way of making sure the soldiers of his army aren't lost to death after their passing. A way to give them a proper rest the way Marika would have wanted, even though he is limited in what he can do about it. The Catacombs are now corrupted with Deathroots and Godwyn's corpse bodies, and guarded by his fervent golden Death Knights.

(P.S. - I didn't know where to put this, but "Charo" is one letter off from Charon, the ferryman of the dead in Greek mythology. Seeing as the place is connected to the Tibia Mariners, who shepherded Those Lost in Death in an age long past, I find that this connection might not be mere coincidence...)

[a-loose-collection-of-ants]

Doctor James McHenry for the burnout moodboard

This is another reminder to go read @nerenight's fantastic fic which has very nearly single handedly carried my interest in these boys