#seriously this is so gay it has to be on purpose right

[shimmeringlesbian]

shannon. this has to be intentional. right? right??? RIGHT???

[hearties-circus]

I finally listened to the sauna fight cassette.. I dont.. i just dont

[queerweewoo]

“Shit.” 

Eddie mutters the curse under his breath when he can't seem to release the clasp on his St. Christopher chain.

He'd plopped himself down next to Buck after arriving home from dropping off his fourteen-year-old budding socialite at a friend's house, having already kicked off his boots and hooking an arm around Buck's still crossed-at-the-ankle legs, getting comfy with them resting over his lap—well, his lap and the arm of the sofa, because Buck has the longest pair of pins in the whole frickin world.

“Nope, I'm afraid shit can't possibly be the answer to seven down, Eddie, because even though it starts with an ‘S’, and the third letter is definitely an ‘I’, twelve across has got to be 'Skating', which would make the second letter a ‘K’,” Buck says with mock-seriousness as Eddie is still attempting to take off his chain. “And anyways, I don't really think the answer to the clue ‘Dermis’ could legitimately be shit, not by any stretch of the imagination; ‘Dermis’ sounds too… I dunno. Scientific? Medical?”

Eddie snorts his amusement at Buck, and Buck grins back at him with that particular twinkle in his eye that Eddie has come to think of as belonging to him.

He really tries his best not to be possessive over his best friend, knows he has no right to anything like that, but Eddie can't help being in love with Buck, no matter how much he wishes he wasn't.

Eddie's been fighting his desires his entire life, regardless of the fact he knows there isn't a damn thing wrong with being gay. But growing up in Texas, with a family as traditional as his own? It means Eddie hasn't ever felt entitled to getting the things he wants in life.

Buck must notice Eddie struggling, then, because he immediately drops his pen and the crossword puzzle book Eddie picked up for him yesterday at the newspaper stand near the firehouse, and is now swinging his legs off the sofa so he can scooch further up to Eddie, until he's almost on top of Eddie, and is saying, “Here, let me get that for you, Eds.”

Eddie freezes.

He knows he should shoo Buck away like he's supposed to, do the right thing, but ever since Buck started dating Tommy—and ever since Buck broke up with Tommy—Eddie's been pretty bad at being well-behaved around Buck.

Buck doesn't exactly make things easy, though. Never has, truth be told. He's always been a really tactile kind of guy, and right now his tactile nature is trying to murder Eddie, dead, dead, dead.

“Lemme just…” Buck's tongue is poking out of his mouth and resting against his bottom lip in concentration—and Eddie knows he should look away but can't—and then he's leaning right into Eddie's space, like he goddamn belongs there and, oh god, Eddie can't take this. He can't. He can't fucking breathe let alone act like this isn't bothering him, like it isn't turning him on like he's a horny teenager again, like this isn't everything he wants and has dreamed of. “Eds, just… lean forward a little would you, so I can—a little bit more, man, c'mon, don't be shy, I just need to…”

Buck really is on top of Eddie now, big arms wrapped around Eddie's head, musky cologne in Eddie's nostrils and warm breath in the shell of Eddie's super-sensitive ear and fuck, he's practically straddling Eddie now, right thigh pushed up against Eddie's junk, oh hell, and Eddie is panting softly and only about two seconds away from moaning his best friend's name like the pathetic hot mess that he is, Jesus fucking Christ.

“Got it,” Buck mutters, and just as he goes to lean back and pull away from Eddie, Eddie hears his internal monologue say: Yeah, I've got it real bad. 

Then something just—snaps inside of his brain before it's shutting down completely and his heart is in his throat as he finds himself whispering, “Screw it,” while he grabs onto both of Bucks biceps with purpose because he's terrified that if he doesn't, they might leave him forever.

“Wait,” he says. Pleads. 

Buck's right thigh is snug against Eddie's left one, the other still in Eddie's lap, his gorgeous face right there next to Eddie's, so close Eddie can almost feel the prickle of Buck's stubble.

“Eds?” Buck whispers, and his breath is mingling with Eddie's and Eddie hasn't prayed for a long, long time, but he's praying now; praying that he's not about to fuck up the best thing, bar Christopher, that has ever happened to him; praying for redemption; praying that Buck might want Eddie even just a fraction of the amount Eddie wants Buck.

His voice breaks when he says the only thing he can. “Don't go.”

Eddie wants this so, so badly, just this one thing, that's all he's asking for, and he's willing to beg for it if he has to—swears he'll never ask for anything again as long as he fucking lives.

“I'm not, Eds, I'm…” Buck trails off, frowning a little. He swallows audibly and licks at those sinful lips that are right fucking there and then says, “What, um—w-what exactly do you mean by 'don't go', Eddie?”

Eddie's heart is thumping so hard against his ribcage it feels as if it's going to burst right out of his chest, and Buck has to be able to feel it too because his solid chest is pressed up firmly against Eddie's, and Eddie can't believe he's doing this and seriously might just pass the fuck out any minute now—

“I don't…” Eddie shakes his head.

Fuck.

Is he really doing this?

“You don't know? Or you don't want me to go—like, as in go home?” Buck's asking. Eddie can't breathe. “Or do you mean, like, go, uh, g-go away from—from right here?” Buck swallows again and Eddie has never wanted anything more than to lick a long stripe up that prominent Adam's Apple of Buck's. “Do you mean don't go from this, Eds? From… from you.” And that last part doesn't sound like a question, it sounds like Buck gets it, and like he isn't horrified by the idea or amused by it or as if he's pitying or mocking Eddie.

Unbelievably, it actually sounds a little like Buck might just want Eddie, too.

Eddie screws his eyes shut, and all he can manage to say is, “Yeah, Buck. The last one.”

Buck is then slowly, gently, sliding his cheek up and down Eddie's, and Eddie finally knows exactly how it feels to have that stubble dragging against his own and there is no fucking way on Earth he could hold in the almost sob-like breath that leaves his lips as Buck's line themself up with Eddie's trembling mouth.

He's gripping Buck's arms so tightly he's scared he might leave bruises there but can feel Buck smiling as he says, “Can I, Eddie? Please?”

Is this really happening?

“Fuck yes,” Eddie urges, and then Buck is kissing him; slowly; gently, and with so much of something that feels like it could be love that Eddie wants to cry.

Then Buck's pulling away, yet not really away because it's only barely enough to let Eddie swallow the boulder-sized lump in his throat and try to catch his breath—only he doesn't quite manage to catch the tear that escapes the corner of his left eye. Somehow, though, that's okay, because Buck kisses that, too—and Eddie finds himself letting it all go, then, and smiling back at the man he's been in love with for almost six years as he cries, because he can finally feel all the colours of the rainbow on his face.

“Eddie, you have no fucking idea how long I've wanted to do that,” Buck chuckles, and Eddie leans in and tilts his own head back slightly and Buck's down a little to press lips against Buck's birthmark, smiling like a fool through his tears.

Buck puts his arms fully around Eddie's shoulders and hugs him, tight.

Eddie just breathes him in until he feels settled enough to look at Buck without welling up again.

“Skin,” Buck says then, bringing his hands to Eddie's face and holding it, brushing thumb pads along Eddie's cheeks and drying his tears because he wants to, and can. Eddie squints in slight confusion at the word, before Buck's revealing the meaning behind it, telling him, “Seven down, Eds, it just came to me: It was the word skin. Yours is—man, it's even smoother than I'd imagined. So, so beautiful. You're beautiful.”

“God, I fucking love you, Buck,” Eddie blurts, because he can't help it. “I'm—I'm in love with you, Evan, and I just—I'm sorry it's taken me so long to tell you that, taken me too long to get my shit together and pull my head out of my—”

“Beautiful, insanely perfect ass,” Buck laughs, and then he's kissing Eddie again, like they've been doing this forever, and Eddie's kissing him back and laughing, too.

“Stay,” Eddie begs between kisses. “Stay forever, Buck.”

Buck looks at Eddie like a man in love and says, “I'm in love with you too, Eds. So, yeah, sure, I can do forever,” he promises.

And Buck always keeps his promises. 

.

happy pride to my beautiful firefam 🌈

(unedited pls forgive me!)

[thatbuddie]

"eddie isn't queer/gay," you say. "he is straight in canon, so him being gay is just a head canon. it's ok for others to think of him as straight because that's what he is."

let's ignore for a second the fact that eddie has never ever ever ever not even once, said in canon that he is a heterosexual very straight guy. seriously!!! he has never once said it!!! if i am "assuming" he's gay then you are also "assuming" he is straight even though he has never once said it!!

how do you think we got bi buck as canon? like i am serious right now, answer the question. how do you think we go bi buck canon? evan buckley was never conceived to be a bisexual man at the beginning of 911. the reason we have evan buckley as a canonically bisexual character today is because us, queer fans of 911, interpreted him and headcanoned him as bisexual. i would go even further and say that it was us, BUDDIE FANS, who interpreted him and headcanoned him as bi. even before the writers were explicitly writing him as bisexual. we read his actions and his story and his identity and said: "this is a bi character!" and the writers looked back and realized that it made sense! and so they started writing him explicitly and canonically as bi.

was it wrong of us to headcanon a character as bisexual then? like for all intents and purposes we were reading a "straight" character as bi. were we doing something wrong? how come you are not complaining/chastising us/shaming us for how we took evan buckley, an otherwise straight character, and saw him as bi? is it because it now serves a purpose to you that he is bi?

also, taking characters that aren't confirmed queer and reading them as queer is what the queer community, and specifically the queer fandom community, has been doing for DECADES. look up the history of queer coding, i am begging you. it has been through the means of queer coding and the perseverance of people that are engaged in it that actual queer representation in media has increased. and let me tell you right now, eddie diaz is, undoubtedly and undeniably, one of the most queer coded characters there is. whether you think this queer coding is conscious by the writers or not. eddie diaz is queer coded.

and i want everyone who says things like "eddie diaz is not a queer character. he is straight in canon. it's wrong to assume a character is queer without the character saying so" to know that this is exactly what straight and homophobic people say. you are using the SAME rhetoric that has been used to shame queer fans for decades for seeing themselves and their experiences in fictional characters of all types. in fact, us, queer fans (and again BUDDIE FANS), were told so many times by straight fans that we were wrong for reading buck as bisexual. and where are we now? where did reading buck as bi take us? oh yeah, to having bi buck in canon.

so please just stop with the "eddie isn't queer in canon" comments. if you don't want to interpret eddie as queer then that is your prerogative. i will be judging why that is, for sure, but it is your right. but be honest about it. it has nothing to do with whether or not he is straight (which hasn't been said) or queer coded (which he so obviously is seeing as so many of us can very easily read him as queer). it's a personal preference and you're not engaging with canon better because of it.

[nekropsii]

What a about Caliborn makes him so cool in your opinion?

Go keep track of his progression as an artist alongside his development as a character and think about how these are intrinsically linked. Ponder the fact that he is both at his most obnoxious and at his most amateur when trying to ignore his unique style explicitly brought on by his canonical learning disability and mimic others rather than truly be himself. Consider how his explorations of art are genuinely cool, not a bad thing, and how we get some really neat multimedia stuff out of it.

Caliborn may be a shitty little teenage wretch but the way he is portrayed as an artist and as a disabled person is both really good and very real. It comes from a place of love. His learning disability is handled with a degree of gentle care that you would not really expect from Hussie. The place Caliborn's art style ends up in is so fucking sick and I actually unironically love it. The technique he uses is really interesting. It's intentionally reminiscent of an Etch-a-Sketch, and I'm a little obsessed with it.

This is so fucking good. I mean this seriously. He's right - that is some Pure Art Skill.

I just love the way art is employed as a necessary component of his character arc. It's so neat. You don't see visual cues that intricate too often. Usually it's just in character design, but watching his entire art style and even his medium of choice change several times over is fascinating. You can really tell Hussie had a lot of fun with him. He's also just really, really fucking funny. Just about every sentence that comes out of his mouth is Grade A Absolute Fucking Gold, and I'm honestly obsessed with his dynamic with Dirk. This may get me thrown to the wolves, but I personally think Dirk and Caliborn have way more chemistry than Dirk and Jake. Maybe that's because we actually see Dirk and Caliborn interact on screen... Lmao.

Necessary Topic: I don't know why people hate him so much. Like, I understand hating his misogyny and fatphobia, sure, but those are deliberate character points and not just Hussie-isms. I see people act like Caliborn is indicative of Hussie, as if Homestuck-era Hussie wasn't, like, famously really fucking good at writing female characters and absolutely not a misogynist. Caliborn's a parody of Homestuck Anti-Fans - which is a term we really ought to bring back, god, anti-fans are absolutely still a thing and good lord they're everywhere - who really were just shitty little bigoted haters. Calliope, the opposite side of his coin, was representative of, essentially, "the best kind of Homestuck fan" - an ultimately sweet young teen girl who willingly dedicates almost all of her time to this piece of fiction she loves so, so much, who draws a lot of fan art for the joy of it all, has OCs that don't fit any of the design conventions in Homestuck whom she pairs with the characters in it for innocent fun. Someone who has a lot of theories and analyses, writes a lot of fanfic, and is genuinely just having a lot of fun. Everyone loves Calliope. Even the characters in Homestuck love Calliope. They just think she's the cutest, sweetest little thing they ever did see. Caliborn was the worst kind. He sucks on purpose. No one likes him. He is a total nuisance to characters he is by all means trying to impress. I love them both.

It's also just funny that he's a canonical Intersex Transmasc who is probably Gay and this has, like, no relevance to anything about him, really. So no one really talks about it. Gender Hilarious, Gender Nefarious.

[dalesramblingsblog]

I know we've been commenting since The Star Beast on the irony of Russell T. Davies taking Disney money and using it to say trans/gay rights as part of one of the biggest British television events of 2023/2024, but I think Dot and Bubble fully opened my eyes to something I've been quietly contemplating since at least the time of The Giggle.

I am genuinely convinced, knowing everything I know about Davies' comments on the state of the BBC and the kinds of art he's been making of late, that Series 14 is a brilliant and purposeful piece of artistic subversion that has taken Disney's money to not just say trans rights, but to actively comment upon the cold, empty yawning abyss that is modern MCU franchisecrafting.

Time and time again, the show has returned to the idea that that sort of "artistry" is completely anathema in a cosmic horror sense to the very fabric of Doctor Who. The Toymaker is an arbiter of rules and continuity, who threatens to turn Doctor Who into a knock-off of The Avengers before everything collapses back into a game of catch with the Doctor in his underwear.

73 Yards is quite explicitly about the loneliness, emptiness and futility that accompanies human beings trying to impose rational, ordered frameworks and narratives on a fundamentally chaotic and strange universe. The very fact that the episode exists in a media ecosystem where hackish YouTubers will be falling over themselves to make "Ending Explained" videos for it *is part of the point*.

And then we have Dot and Bubble, where the modern glut of franchisal/social media (and the two are often close to interchangeable, as proven by this very blog post) is explicitly shown to have an anaesthetising effect that insulates people from real-world suffering. But it's more than that, because that same anaesthesia ties into expressions of actual, direct racism that are so baked into the foundations of that media and who it tends to uplift (white, conventionally attractive and implicitly straight people) that they become indistinguishable from said suffering.

After years of Doctor Who trying its hand at being a generic MCU-esque property and fans creating mockups of Phase-esque release timelines with a million spin-offs focusing on the Wacky Adventures of Miss Evangelista or whatever other bullshit fandom constantly clamours for, here is an era that puts its foot down and says "Actually, the foundational elements of that brand of media consumption are materially connected to the constant racist or sexist backlash you see against the casting of Ncuti Gatwa or Jodie Whittaker or Kelly Marie Tran."

And it is absolutely, positively, 100% correct.

How, then, does Doctor Who resist the creeping power of this monolithic cultural entity? In a world where studios seriously try to argue for the artistic worth of tripe like Morbius or Madame Web or Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania, what is the appropriate response?

The same response that it's always had, the thing that it's been doing for sixty years. Getting people to learn how to run down corridors from hokey aliens, hoping against hope that those people don't turn out to be massive fucking racists and telling them exactly where they can shove it if they are, and instilling the children of the world with a healthy dose of fear and light-hearted humour.

Welcome back, Doctor Who. God, I have missed you.

[icarusredwings]

Save a horse...

(SFW, Read the tags. 1/2

Promts: One's on purpose. The other is oblivious. Can you guess which is which?

"..I didn't know that was a gay bar.")

Pov, you're currently a drunk and slightly nervous Wade Wilson - Not Deadpool. Wade Wilson. You know, that guy who's so insecure about his entire body that he covered 100% of it and often times has multiple costumes/masks on because it's a metaphor for how he actually feels on the inside? Yeah. Him.

You are also currently sitting in a midwestern country bar with a shitty luke warm beer waiting for your 'Room mate' to say he's ready to come home. Watching how lit up he gets when around ranch hands and hard whiskey makes you tip your hat in fear you might actually look like there's pepperoni on your face from how red it's getting.

Slouching into your chair further, you start grumbling how the joke wasn't even that funny and that you could make a joke 10 times funnier, but you promised previously to behave yourself. Plus, you weren't doing so hot anyway. This was your 8th one as it was, and already you were watching his every move. How his canines sat when he smirked, how his arm hung over the back of his chair, how his boots crossed under the table, how he used the bottle in his hand as almost a speaking point, making geastures with it as he litsened, responding to their stories with his own. Right now the topic was about fixing fences and Horses escaping, riding horses, etc.

Honestly, he's heard worse. Ten year old girls talk more seriously about horses than these 4 rugged grown beareded men.. it seemed so boring..

Oh god. At this point, you're wondering why you even came. You clearly didn't fit in here, and these jeans did NOT do you any favors in the front. Was this why he was always so bitchy? Because his balls were getting strangled together by denim all the time?

It's not until you hear something in which you perk up. "Wade. Wade! Come're! Tell'em bout tha' there one time, will ya?"

Blinking, you wondered. Did you hear that, right? That beautiful draw and slur in his words calling for YOU of all people?

"Come on boy! We wont bite!" One of the men laughed. You could of sworn you just heard Logan chuckle and say "You better not.." in a tone that was... not firmiliar.

Slowly, You get up and stagger over only to be grabbed by the massive belt buckle and pulled close. His arm wrapping around your waist as he looked up at you with such shiney yet hammered eyes. "Tell'em!"

"Tell them what?"

"Bout the thing."

"Which thing?"

"Ya know the- Oh wait ya weren't there for that. Well shit, sorry...Oh! Wade, thi's Buck, Cletus and Mark. Have a seat."

For a moment, you blink as if he's gone mad. There were no seats left. Only 4 at one table. And as much as you'd love to just sit on his lap, there's no way he'd allow that. Not in front of these guys. Manly men didn't let other men sit on their laps in public. He's learned that the hard way.

"How much have you had, Wolfie?"

"Ah! Nevermin' that! Sit!" As if God himself awnsered your prayers he dragged you down into his lap, keeping you sat sideways and with an arm around you for no reason at all other then to claim dominance? Territory even? Just.. cause?

Either way, you find yourself a bit too shocked to speak, but let's be honest, that never lasts long. Trying to hide your face, You mutter;

"So...new friends of yours?" You ask the beast of a man who's locked his arm onto your hip.

"Cowfolk are usually quite... fond.. of one another." Buck says as if trying to tell you something, but you were far too knackered to get it the first go.

"We got a way of finding each other." Mark speaks up.

"Oh, do you now?" You ask, sounding intrigued.

It was now that you understood FULLY why he brought you to this bar specifically. Or was he even aware? No he couldn't be that dull- well...

Suddenly, you relaxed completely into his arms, wrapping an arm loosely around his neck, fitting into him like a puzzle piece. Like a wave of relief that you could infact show affection in here. It made you wonder if that was why Logan was so handsy or if he was just three sheets to the wind.

"Mmh. It's how we found ol' Logan here." Cletus made the mistake of saying and smiling at the muscly hairy man in a way Wade knew far too well.

Giving a quick, threatening glance, you take off your hat and put it on top of his head while staring them dead in the face. Howlett wasn't the only one who was territorial..

[scekrex]

Hello, may I request Adam x Exorcist!reader, Where Adam doubts his feelings for a very long time?

"Like seriously? Adam? The first man? Original dick? Will he become interested in another man?" It seems to me that these are the thoughts that would have been in his head at first. Like, imagine, all his thousand-year-old foundations begin to break down when he realizes that he is starting to feel attracted to a guy? Oh, he would doubt himself for a veeeery long time.

I think it would all start small, he simply begins to be friendly towards the reader, communicating with him in every possible way in his usual manner, And on the days of extermination, even joke or “mockery” if the reader kills fewer sinners than usual, not in a serious manner, rather joking as usual.

And then suddenly Adam will begin to understand that somehow he has been looking at him for too long, until in some sense it dawns on him that he is beginning not only to have feelings for a man, but to actually want him. My God, how would he feel... But the reader essentially does not notice this, being too serious and having heard a lot about “Adam’s adventures with women” to even suspect such a thing in him.

I'm actually really attracted to this dynamic where one person is questioning their sexuality for a very long time. Because I'm the same way myself.... Like oh my god, it took me almost 4-5 years to finally accept this, and even then I have not yet fully realized it...... Like gay panic |:^

(and I also apologize in advance for my English^^)

You're all good dear, your english is perfectly fine <3 also thank you soooo much for this request bc I feel like Adam would gaslight himself into believing he's the straightest man ever until proven otherwise. I hope you like it xoxo/p

It's 'cause of these things

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: homophobic language (kinda, Adam's just a bitch, he doesn't mean it tho)

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

For Adam it had always been a big deal when it came to letting people in, not the casual interactions he had with his exorcists or other winners but rather bonds like the one he had formed with Lute. Like the bond he had formed with you.

When your soul had first arrived in heaven and Sera had informed the first man about it he had immediately seen the potential that was slumbering inside your new formed body, you had the spirit, the energy, the attitude. He had noticed right from the start that you were highly aware of your surroundings - not just the people close to you but also the ones far away, out of reach, sometimes even the ones out of sight. So he had recruited you despite you being male. A man following his orders couldn’t be too bad right? And you had proven to him multiple times that he had made the right decision.

-

You had just arrived back in heaven after one hell of an extermination and Adam was quick to catch up to you, “So shawty, gimme numbers.” You took off your mask as you looked up at him, rolling your eyes at his question. He knew. Of course he fucking knew that you had been sloppy today - not that it had happened on purpose, god forgive you no. The bastards you had hunted down had just been more bitchy than they usually were, hiding in the strangest places. You did have trouble keeping up with them but that was something you wouldn’t say out loud, especially not to Adam. You had remained the only other male exorcist besides Adam and therefore you had a reputation to hold up. “269,” you bumbled as you took a turn in order to go back to your apartment - Adam followed, he always did. It had become a tradition that the both of you would head over to your place after extermination day to relax and share some stories about the exciting hunt. “So what your fucking saying is that you killed like a whiny bitch today,” he stated and you hated him for it - well not actually, you knew very well he was just messing with you and that you remined one of his top fighters even with a kill count as low as that. Usually you never left hell with a kill count under three hundred so given your usually pretty high numbers of murdered demons that exact extermination day had been kindergarten snowflake bullshit. Your standards were high, not only because you set them to be, but also because Adam was expecting you to be a fucking bad bitch in the purest way possible - or at least that’s what you told yourself in order to keep the standards and therefore the effort and your skills as high as possible. “Fuck you,” you playfully flipped him off as you unlocked your door and stepped inside, and once again Adam followed. “You’re one of my top bitches, for you the count of 269 is fucking embarassing.” Like you didn’t fucking know that yourself. You frustratedly fell onto your couch and exhaled loudly, usually you’d make up some lame excuse but not today, there was nothing that could excuse your low count today. Your frustation only grew as Adam slapped your ass when he walked past you to get snacks from the kitchen, “Cheer up bitch, we’ll be back in six months and then you’ll be even fucking better.” And maybe he was right but being better in the future was a must given the low effort that you had shown today. “Shut up and suck my fucking dick, Adam.”

That was another thing that made things between you and him different, you were the only one addressing the first man by his actual name - not even Lute had the privilege to do so. On the other hand you and Adam were different in any form and way, he was quite touchy when it came to you, why that was you had yet to figure out. The brunette would never even dare to playfully hit Lute’s ass, let alone the ass of one of the other exorcists.

“Maybe I will,” the brunette responded as he continued to head over to the kitchen, a sly grin on his face. When Adam reached your kitchen and was sure he was out of sight for you, he exhaled, dropped that grin and thought. Thought about you and him, how it had been so easy to let you in, to accept you and respect you to a certain level. You made it so easy for him to just relax and let himself fall into the warmth you always offered. His wings wrapped around his tall body like a soft blanket and for a second he longed for them to be your wings instead - however he quickly shook his head, getting rid of that ridiculous thought. He knew you were gay and honestly? It wasn’t his fucking if you fucked ass or pussy. He however wasn’t gay - the first man was surely not attracted to other men, that was not what God had in mind when creating Adam. So why were his thoughts always dominated by you? Because you were the only person he’d consider a friend - that must be it. Because while Lute stuck to his side whenever and wherever, she was mainly his lieutenant, for fucks sake that bitch had known him for so fucking long yet she still called him sir. You were more chill around him, there was surely no stick up your ass when you talked to him. You treated him like you treated all the others and while Adam was proud to be the leader of heaven’s exorcists and the first man, he also appreciated equality. Equality that you had shown him ever since your soul had arrived up there. You weren’t disrespectful, not the slightest bit, but you also didn’t launch him onto some high ass fuck pedestal because of his status.

And what made it even more confusing for him was that all this teasing and jokingly flirting that happened between the both of you was affecting him in ways he strictly denied. That simply was how things worked, wasn’t it? Sometimes people simply popped a boner and got off to the thought of their closest friend regardless of their gender, right? Well, Adam was convinced that it was normal, it simply must be. because there was not the slightest chance that he, the one and only original dick, was gay. He wasn’t made to be gay so he simply couldn’t be. Others are - that’s fine by him, not his deal but he himself? No. God had created him to reproduce. Two men can’t reproduce, it went against his nature, against the purpose he had been created for. “Adam?” he heard you yell from the living room. Shit, he was taking too fucking long, stupid thoughts about stupid you. So he grabbed the snacks you had already prepared before leaving this morning and carried them to you.

“There ya are, the fuck took your old ass so fucking long?” you had lifted your head from the pillow of the couch in order to look at the brunette and you frowned when he looked like he had done some thinking in the kitchen - the fuck was wrong with him lately? Because today wasn’t the first time that he acted so off, it had happened countless times before.

Once you had fallen asleep leaning against his shoulder and when you had woken up again a couple of hours later, Adam’s breath had been going hard as if he had been concentrating to not lean into the touch, as if he denied himself to like it and yet he had seemed nervous at the same time. Nervous, not uncomfortable though, that you had noticed.

Or the other time some exorcist chick had flirted with you and Adam had been quick to shove himself in-between you and her and pull you away. He had made up some lame excuse about discussing your tactics on the battlefield - it hadn’t been necessary at all. Yet it had been basically a freeway ticked for him to get you away from her without making it seem weird.

But whenever you addressed stuff like that he simply said, “Dude I’m not gay, okay? Don’t fucking act like I’d fucking fuck your ass.” And to be completely honest? You called bullshit on that. You saw the quick glances he allowed himself to slip whenever he thought you weren’t looking, and in his defense, you weren’t looking. He wasn’t as sneaky and subtle as he thought he might’ve been. He was so sloppy that even Lute had once asked you if the two of you were fucking - in God’s mighty and all-knowing name, Lute had noticed. Lute, who should know better than anyone that Adam was straight. Adam had clarified that only heavenly women were to touch him and while it stung a little, you accepted it as it was. Back on earth it hadn't been any different for you anyway - you had always had a thing for the straight guys.

“Shut the fuck up,” he grumbled as he put down the snacks onto the little coffee table, you simply grinned at him lazily, “Why don’t ya make me?” Adam froze at that comment for a moment, it was really just a tiny moment, but his brain shut down completely for that said moment and he had to reboot it entirely. Because what the fuck? Were you being serious? That was another thing that confused him - sometimes the jokes didn’t seem like just jokes, sometimes - more often than the brunette liked - there was this tiny shimmer of seriousness in your eyes when you told him to suck dick, or to make you shut up like in that exact situation. How was he supposed to know what was going on when all you did was send mixed signals? “I’m not a fucking faggot, bitch, I’m not you.” He knew you were aware he was only joking, yet he didn’t dare to look at you as he made that harsh sounding joke. Was it still considered a joke though, or was he just trying to assure himself? Another thing the first man couldn’t confidently answer anymore. You raised an eyebrow at the first man, “I never said you are. You’re the straightest white dude I know for Christ’s sake.” You watched as Adam looked at you while he tried to process your words, “Now that sounded like a fucking insult.” The chuckle that escaped you was poorly hidden and the words fell from your lips without a second thought, “It was one.”

Adam simply flipped you off as he pushed your legs off the couch, causing you to almost fall on the floor, just so he could sit down next to you. “Whatever, shithead.”

-

And just like that it continued, there was no cocky comment about how he’d be the best fuck of your life like there used to be when you had grown closer and closer, it was always the ‘I’m not gay’ reaction you got. But maybe that was just a sign that Adam had grown tired of your flirtatious jokes - who really knew. You sure didn’t.

During one evening however, things kinda changed.

You were at his place, Adam was laying on the couch and you were sitting on his lap, the both of you were watching some queer rom-com, it had taken you ages to talk the brunette into watching it with you but in the end he had agreed, probably because he was tired of you asking him to watch it together over and over again. “Y/N?” the first man asked. It was the first time he had said anything at all during the movie. He perked up at you, hesitation in his eyes as your attention shifted towards him. “Yeah?” You felt his wings twitch in uncertainty and watched as he tried to avoid eye contact once he continued to speak, “How-“ he paused for a moment, clearly considering if asking the following question was even a good idea. But he needed clarity, needed to get this shit sorted out. Lute had messed up his entire concept of ‘jerking off to the thought of your closest friend is normal’ by telling him it isn’t. So he needed to know what the fuck was going on inside his mind. “How did you figure out you’re not straight?” He wasn’t strictly gay, that he knew, he still liked pussy and tits - he just also happened to like the thought of jerking you off and watching you come undone. Or to cuddle with you like you were a chick. Or to kiss your lips.

You frowned at him for that question - what question was that even? Especially coming from someone like Adam. “I dunno, I just… like dick I guess.” Adam hummed at that and immediately regretted asking you something so personal because you were quick to question him. “Why? Did ya change your mind?” you leaned over, your chest was now pressed against his and your palms were pressed against the soft fabric of the couch underneath Adam, right next to his head. Your face was so close, close enough so that Adam felt your breath on his face. His body went on complete autopilot when his hands shot up to reach for your collar and pull you down. His lips crashed against yours and in the beginning it was more teeth and spit than an actual kiss, but the two of you found a steady rhythm soon and you couldn’t hide your grin when you felt Adam’s heart pumping in his chest and his breath growing heavy. When you parted a string of slavia connected your lips still and Adam’s eyes looked up at you, he looked like he had just gotten something he had longed for for a long time. “No,” he responded and pulled you in yet again, the second kiss started softer than the first one had, less teeth, less spit and more lips on lips action, more passion and enjoyment. “Yet you kiss me,” you huffed as Adam’s lips rudely interrupted you mid sentence, “Like your life depends on it.” The first man’s lips felt so perfect against yours, you weren’t even able to think about how he had only been messing around with women until now, it felt like his lips had been made to match yours and despite knowing that this was far from how it really had been, you simply couldn’t care. Not when Adam kissing you felt so incredibly divine. “Shut the fuck up,” he groaned against your lips as his wings came up to wrap around you - your first thought was that he wanted to provide comfort, but then you found yourself underneath the first man instead of the other way around - that smooth bastard had used his wings to change postitions without you fully noticing. “Make me,” you grinned up at him, your grin was met by hazy eyes and the most lazy yet so fucking sexy looking grin Adam had ever offered you. “Bet,” was all that he whispered before he leaned in again. And while it still felt slightly strange to him to kiss a man, he was mainly experiencing how right it felt to kiss you, to hold you, to adore you. When Adam offered you a tiny moment to catch your breaht you couldn’t stop the teasing, “Faggot,” that fell from your lips. In return Adam bit your jaw, leaving a very obvious bite mark there.

[that-trans-autistic-guy]

DBD Incorrects Quotes from a Random Generator Online

Edwin: You have your weirdly sincere humility Charles: I prefer the term 'self loathing' actually

Edwin: No more making fun of me when I misuse dated cultural references, alright? Are we cowabunga on this? Crystal, sighing: Fine. We're cowabunga.

Niko: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life. Crystal: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back… Charles: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this. Mick: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years. Jenny: I knew I lost that potential somewhere. Edwin: Mental stability, my old friend! Niko: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?

Niko: We all have our demons. Crystal, grabbing David: This one’s mine!

Crystal: Seriously, all you do is bitch. Edwin: I happen to bitch the perfect amount for someone in my situation.

Edwin: Ask me anything. Go ahead, I'll give you a straight answer. Charles: Why are we so fucking awesome? Edwin: That's the best fucking question anybody's ever asked.

The Sprites: PEASANT. I REQUIRE SUSTENANCE. Niko: You know there are other ways to say you want McDonalds. The Sprites: FOUL PLEBEIAN. YOU DARE SPEAK AGAINST ME— Niko: sigh What do you want? The Sprites: Chicken nuggets please.

Charles: Are you a cuddler? Edwin: I'm a machine of death and destruction. Charles: Edwin: …Yeah, I'm a cuddler.

Esther: You’d be stupid to lay a hand on me. Charles: Oh, you’d be surprised how much stupid shit I do.

The squad is playing a team sport Niko: Are you upset you don’t get to be on the same team as Edwin? Charles: Have you ever played a game with Edwin? Niko: No… Charles: Have you ever been trapped in a cage with a wolverine? Meanwhile, on the other side of the field Edwin, chasing Crystal: I SAID FASTER! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORD “FASTER” MEANS? IT MEANS MORE FAST!!!!

Crystal: Why are we friends? Edwin: Poor decisions on your part.

Charles: falls down the stairs Edwin: Are you okay? Niko: Stop falling down the stairs! Crystal: How’d the ground taste?

Crystal, T-posing in the doorway: Greetings, Jenny. Jenny, not looking up from their coffee: Good morning, problem child.

Edwin: My level of gay has reached “sighing deeply whenever anything extremely heterosexual happens near me”.

Monty: Why is it so hard for you to believe me?! Charles: … Monty: Oh, right. The lying.

Charles: Being half asleep and feeling someone gently plant a kiss on your forehead is one of the purest kinds of love in the world. Crystal: Unless you're home alone.

Edwin: Are you really planning to shoot the demon? Crystal: Don't worry, it's a holy gun. Edwin: How so? Crystal: It makes holes.

Crystal: I need life advice. Jenny, sipping wine and eating cookie dough: You came to the right person.

Charles: Edwin, you love me, right? Edwin: Normally I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won’t like.

Edwin: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine. Charles: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again. Edwin: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?? Charles: Is it working?

Charles: Edwin taught me to think before I act. Charles: …So if I smack the shit out of you, rest assured that I thought about it and am confident in my decision.

Night Nurse, smugly, after security arrives to escort Edwin and Charles out: So, do you wanna walk out of here or do you wanna be carried out? Edwin, in defeat: Let’s go. Charles: Wait. Edwin: What? Charles: I’d kinda like to be carried out…

[poorlittlegreenie13]

Taissa would be princess of a whole kingdom & she would refuse to marry no matter who proposed to her & while suitors were pouring their hearts out to her in her courtroom she would just make direct eye contact with the knight stationed at the opposite side of the room (Van, obviously) and smirk, and eventually tell Van to get the man out of her sight. Van would think that Taissa had noooo idea how bad Van was crushing on her but Taissa would be fully aware & would tease Van on purpose. She would call in favors with the captain of the guard and get Van stationed outside her bedroom every night so when she couldn’t sleep they could talk. At first, Van would panic & protest when Taissa invited her into her bed chamber but eventually she would go & Taissa would very slowly start taking care of Van—convincing her to sleep more, offering her food & water while she was on guard duty all night, bringing her warm tea when she was stationed outside. And Tai would come to all of Van’s tournaments and tie favors to her sword & cheer obnoxiously loud. Van would be experiencing levels of yearning previously unknown to man. It would never occur to her that Taissa might be gay too. Even when Tai would coincidentally walk past the armory right after Van was done training so she could casually offer to help her out of her armor. Van would be panicking & telling herself Taissa was just really generous with her time. Taissa would be living it up getting to undress a sweaty butch knight (the dream). She would help Van braid her hair & tuck it up under her helmet. Van would kill anybody who even thought about hurting Taissa—she takes her guard duties extremely seriously. Eventually they would kiss. Van’s mind would be entirely fucking blown at the realization that the princess of her home kingdom has been hitting on her for months. Tai would think it was funny. Eventually they would get gay married bc it’s Tai’s kingdom and she can do what she wants <3. The end.

[gh0st-t0wn3]

Lmk ss edits + Headcanons, Part 2 (Pigsy, Tang, Sandy, Sun Wukong, Macaque)

- He/Him

- Bisexual

- Huge environmentalist, if you put any garbage or recycling in the wrong bin expect to get at least a three hour lecture, no you can not escape this, yes MK and Mei have tried, no they did not succeed

- ONLY shops from farmers markets/family businesses, you will never catch this man supporting a corporation

- Use to steal Tang's college hoodies

- Took him the longest to get used to having Redson around and a part of the group , but eventually warmed up to him (is still kinda salty about Redson burning MK's room though)

- Grows his own herbs

- Gets incredibly frustrated when he gets the hiccups (writing this as I'm fighting off hiccups)

- Loves watching true crime shows and listening to true crime podcasts while he does household chores or while he's setting up/closing the shop

- Got his ears pierced with Tang

- MK and Mei call him mom when he's being overbearing, Tang calls him mom now too to tease him

- Once caught Mei and MK sneaking food out of the kitchen at 3am and beat them with a broom for a solid minute because he was too drowsy to recognize them and assumed they were intruders (they were fine)

- Is the type of person to call his husband (Tang) "bro", "dude" etc

- Got drunk in college once and talked about nothing but how much he loved Tang, didn't remember any of it the next day but Tang asked him out pretty quickly after that

- Exchanged a few recipes with DBK while they were at the beach, they still do exchange more recipes once in a while but they don't talk much outside of cooking related topics

- Learned how to play dnd in college because Tang liked the game and ended up liking it a lot more than he expected to so they wound up playing together all the time (they still play it once in a while if they have time)

- Him and Sandy get together every other weekend to try and help Pigsy with his anger management issues

- Never called MK his son while he was growing up because he was scared that MK's real family would show up one day to take him back home, finally realized that no one was gonna show up a short while after MK turned 10 and started acting like an actual parent (MK always saw Pigsy as his dad though)

- Always says "this is the last time" when giving Tang free noodles (it is never gonna be the last time, and Tang knows it)

- Once bumped into a mannequin at the mall and apologized to it, Tang still makes fun of him

- Use to take Mei and MK to conventions all the time until Mei learned how to drive and could take them herself

- Won't care for people getting hurt in movies but will be absolutely crushed if something happens to an animal (sobbed when he watched "A Dog's Purpose")

- Smells like noodles

- Love language is acts of service

- Keeps trying to convince Tang to come with him to family events, has yet to succeed

- Carries around an extra pair of headphones in case Tang or MK needs them

- Almost threw hands with DBK and PiF after hearing about how they treated Redson (seriously guys, I need Redson to have a good parental figure in the next season, please), this man is a father to everyone

- Snores loud as fuck, it's a wonder how Tang gets any sleep

- No fashion sense what's so ever

- Insomnia

- He/Him

- Gay

- Once zoned out and stared at a wall for six hours straight

- Desk is covered in pencil shavings and pen ink

- Constantly bruised from always falling (weak ankles)

- Fluent in Polish, don't ask why, it just feels right

- Doodled all over his books in school (they made him pay for new ones)

- Never up before sunrise

- Got in some random dudes car once thinking it was a taxi and almost got himself kidnapped

- Will make the most annoying, smart-ass remark to anything anyone says

- I'm not actually sure if it's ever mentioned in the show what Tang does for a living but it doesn't matter, he's a college history professor now

- Has grandma floral bedsheets (we've all seen his sleepwear, you cannot tell me that man doesn't have grandma floral bedsheets)

- Somehow always cold

- Constanly napping, he can and will fall asleep if he's left alone for too long (his students once caught him asleep at his desk after lunch break and dipped class)

- Used to have hexagon glasses cause he thought they looked cool but found out Pigsy liked circular ones better so he got new ones

- Still has a septum piercing he got while he was in college but keeps it flipped up, he also has ear gauges

- When he met Pigsy's parents he was super nervous and ended up passing out half way through the night because of anxiety, he has not lived it down and refuses to go to any events with Pigsy if his family is gonna be there (they actually really liked him and are disappointed when he doesn't show up)

- Doesn't own a bookshelf for some reason, everything is just piled on the floor

- Very faint freckles

- Needs a daily 'to do' list, his whole day gets thrown off if he doesn't have some kind of schedule

- Maladaptive daydreamer

- Never showers, only takes baths

- Needs headphones on crowded transportation otherwise he'll get stressed at all the noises and talking overlapping eachother

- Severe rsd (rejection sensitivity dysphoria,  "benched" was an especially bad time for him)

- Number one art appreciator and constantly drags Pigsy to museums

- Smells like a library (please tell me you know what smell I mean)

- Love language is gift giving ( and you KNOW he loves you when he shares his food with you willingly)

- 76% of the clothes he owns are thrifted

- Blind as a fucking bat, if he looses his glasses he's on the floor feeling around for them like Velma,  I swear they could be two feet in front of him but he won't even notice

- Hypersomnia

- He/Him

- Bisexual

- Huge conspiracy theorist, ask him anything and he'll have some in depth explanation on how it relates to cryptids or something (I'm talking Matpat level conspiracy theorist, seriously, someone get him help)

- Slowest typer on the planet (mainly because the screen is too small for his hands), will respond to something 3-5 minutes after they changed topics

- Made seed bombs and threw them everywhere at random around the city and now there's a bunch of flowers and vines growing everywhere

- Was the first one (Aside from Mei and MK) to welcome Redson into the group with open arms, everyone else was still kinda cautious

- Would literally die for any of his friends, no questions asked, no hesitation, just jumps in the line of danger as soon as he sees one of his friends about to get hurt

- Didn't have a lot of friends growing up until he met Pigsy in his last year of high school because everyone was afraid of him

- He and Pigsy were in a band together in college, Sandy discusses it with pride, Pigsy gets embarrassed and denies ever being in a band at all

- Since he also has scales he's the one who teaches and helps Mei look after her scales and keep them from drying or getting damaged

- Yoga master, wakes up super early to do it during sunrise

- Has the best taste in music, he can find the most amazing, tear jerking, heart wrenching, underground music ever effortlessly

- Hasn't met a single person he wasn't able to get along with

- Firmly believes in all the little wishing rituals (11:11, shooting stars, birthday candles, blowing dandelions etc)

- Learned how to whistle so he could sing along with birds

- *gets robbed* "oh, i bet he needed the money, it's ok"  "I really don't think he did." "...maybe he's gonna donate it!"

- Favourite kind of tea is earl grey

- Named one of his cats Maquack after Macaque

- Sometimes cat sits for Bai He when she goes to doctor appointments, family visits out of the city, etc

- Got his piercing while he was still in a band but kept them in because his band mates were some of his first friends and they all got pierced together

- Has a tail to help him swim better (unfortunately I could not add it in the edit above but just I imagine he has the same kind of tail as the water Na'vi in Avatar ig)

- Skin has a faint ombre to it (his hands and feet are lighter and fade around his forearms/knees to a slightly darker blue (i did add this one in my edit but unfortunately I don't think it's as visible as I wanted it to be, my bad)

- Webbed hands and feet to help him swim better

- Has adipose eyelids like a fish to protect his eyes from the water, block exposure of harmful ultraviolet light into his eyes and act as protection against impact to the eye in aquatic environments. Since his eyelids are transparent though, he has to wear a sleeping mask at night

- Smells like a mix of ocean air and tea

- Love language is quality time and physical touch (will pick up and hug his friends all the time no matter the place)

- His hair and beard always have something in them, sand, seaweed etc

- Shoes are actually really uncomfortable for him to wear because his body is evolved for an aquatic environment, but he doesn't want to be rude so he wears them anyway (Mei found out and got him a customized pair of shoes so he could be comfortable without feeling like he's being rude)

- Uses Kaomojis

- If he's not busy, or doesn't have anything planned for the next few hours, he'll spend his free time cleaning up the ocean and beaches from any garbage

- He/Him

- Pansexual

- Everything he has ever done has been an impulse decision

- Is the type of mf to kick the inside of someone knee while they're walking to make them fold (Tang is the primary victim)

- Chews his nails

- Made up his own constellations as a "fuck you" to the universe (somehow managed to convince some mortals they were real constellations too)

- Mk and Co constantly forget how ancient swk is until he says some old person shit

- Naturally has curly and untamable hair, uses glamor to avoid getting called out about not taking care of it

- Horrifically optimistic

- Always has leaves and dirt and sticks etc in his hair

- Will sit out in the rain for hours on end

- Follow up on the last hc, he's been struck by lightning.. twice

- Actually has really heavy eyebags but uses glamor to cover them up

- Gets bored super easily

- Has naturally long lashes, Mei is still convinced he's wearing makeup though

- Cannot cook for the life of him

- His memories are always in shades of gold, no ones sure if it hasn't something to do with his gold vision or not, even himself, he just can't remember things in normal colour

- Stress induced migraines from the circlet

- Not a fan of big cities but loves how the lights look at night

- Stacks of notebooks and loose paper, cannot keep anything organized

- Takes a nap everyday at exactly 2:38 without fail

- Freezes in the winter, man's house has no insulation whatsoever

- Doesn't like big crowds but also can't stand not being the center of attention

- Once picked fleas out of both MK's and his own hair and ate them, MK was and still is disgusted, he will never look at Monkey King the same way again

- Smells like Peaches (it's like the only fucking thing he eats)

- Love language is physical touch

- Kinda chubby (mostly around his stomach and thighs) but still has muscles

- Always teasing Redson about the fact that he's technically his uncle since he and DBK are sworn brothers, he finds Redson's overreactions to it funny but is secretly kinda hurt that Redson doesn't think of him as family anymore (He use to when he was a little kid but stopped seeing Wukong as family after he sealed DBK away. They've started to try and mend their relationship after the events of season 4, it's slow but it's progress)

- Sometimes the monkey's on FFM will come into his house through the windows at night to sleep with him for comfort

- Really bad with technology but pretends he's just too good for the internet so he can avoid using it without looking old

- He/Him

- Bisexual

- Says his "S"'s really sharply

- If you ask him anything about himself he'll give you a different answer to the exact same question everytime (he thinks it makes him mysterious,  it does not)

- Lower lid eyeliner >>>

- If you say something stupid or weird he'll just stare judgingly until you take it back

- Actually lost his mind when he found out what blowing bubbles were

- Drinks tea with an ungodly amount of sugar

- Chronic eye pain + headaches. It's gotten significantly better over the years but.. yk, eye gouged out

- Has a deeply relaxing voice, strangely enough

- Has tried to compliment people before but it always ends up coming off as an insult

- Classical music or heavy rock, no in-between

- It is literally impossible to take a bad picture of him

- Puts his hair up in a bun whe he doesn't wanna deal with it

- Has patches of freeze burns from LBD, along his right side (mostly just his arm).

- Theater kid

- Rose tea enjoyer

- Likes to bake sometimes and frequently exchanges recipes with Pigsy and DBK

- Like to watch the sunrise and sunset

- Hates being out in the sun too long, not having a shaded area nearby for an easy escape stresses him

- Will stare out the window while it rains, Mei once said he looked like he was pretending to be in a cringey early 2010 music video

- Hard of hearing, his six ears are very sensitive and all the fighting and screaming has definitely done some damage to them by now

- Follow up on the last HC, despite being hard of hearing he will either absolutely refuse to wear hearing aids, or will wear them (albeit begrudgingly) but cover them with glamor

- Septum and snake bite piercings he got during his emo phase

- Smells like grapes, don't ask

- Love language is quality time, he doesn't care to actually have a conversation, though, he's fine just sitting in comfortable silence

- Will use his shadow transport for the dumbest things when he's lazy, like teleporting the TV remote to him if it's on the other side of the couch, teleport a bag of chips from the pantry to him in his bedroom,  etc

- Room is covered in scented candles

- Sandy has invited him over to work out some of his problems multiple times, he doesn't really care to open up though, he just goes for the cats (Sandy let's him)

- His hair is always soft and he refuses to tell anyone what he washes with, MK has asked multiple times and he gets a different, vague answer everytime

[logan-lieutenant]

i didn't win the wheel: episode 2

much shorter episode this week! probably because it consisted mostly of golf so they decided between this and team torque they would have mercy on us and cut most of it. still lots to work with though. obviously. because it's them.

love a little throwback to episode one, we've got "genuinely trying to go along with the program and introduce the gist of the show" and "so completely zoned out you'd have better luck getting the attention of a cat chasing a laser" except this time it's switched up. i'm pretty sure alex does like a maximum of three introductions out of the whole series, if that, so you just know they said, "Logan, do you want to go first?" and he put on the most nonchalant amiable expression and said "Hmm... I think Alex should go first since I did it the last time" and then alex just glares daggers at him but knows he can't throw a fit about it in front of the crew and logan's smiling ear-to-ear like "what you gonna do about it?" oh, and also, last week they were even leaning back on the same couch and literally giving "two bros chillin in a hot tub five inches apart cause they're not sure if the other is gay" BUT here we are standing up no couch no excuse and logan's just "you're my new center of gravity now". okay. okay sure.

Alex (already done with this, looking GENUINELY distressed): "It's windy out here, we don't have real golfballs so it's gonna go everywhere..."

Logan: "You're a lot better at golf than me, so I expect you to do well."

WHOA alright. first of all from everything we got so far (not a lot) the main dynamic seems to be: logan acting confident and cocky and arrogant just to annoy alex and also gazing at him with the most endearing/loving/shit-eating expressions, and alex being awkward and out of his comfort zone and taking it too seriously but eventually losing his focus because he can't help but smile back at logan. which i LOVE. but alex is already getting frustrated before the challenge begins and logan is like what... comforting him? reassuring him? boosting his confidence? "i expect you to do well" whole body turned completely to face him. like dammmn alright breaking the theme a little but that's honestly so sweet... also should i mention that we are literally less than thirty seconds into the video and they're already facing AWAY from the camera and TOWARDS each other. and in a few seconds they'll literally turn around to talk to each other looking at the game setup like this is not how you do media you guys know this and yet

(Golf session ends, Logan wins because Alex spent the whole time grappling with the wind)

Logan: "Alright, well... as you saw, little bit of a dominant display there..."

and then he has to abandon that sentence immediately because they both start laughing, like straight up giggling almost breathless like "wait did i really just say that out loud" "did he really just say that out loud" and logan turns RIGHT into alex AGAIN because he's watching every possible reaction plain on alex's face 😂 like alex is both startled and amused and endeared and very incredulous. at one point he straight-up looks at the camera and raises his eyebrows like "oh yeah? WAS it though? can you BELIEVE this guy look at him he doesn't even believe himself" like I CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP. honestly i'm just gonna have to make a gif of it because it's so- it's just so obvious.

oh my god, that's just– this is just adorable. this is gonna be my lockscreen i swear because look at them. alex is still laughing trying not to but that earlier comment just threw him off and logan is leaning into him purposely pushing his arm against alex's (he does it twice) and he's just so happy he 1) made alex laugh 2) made alex FLUSTERED jesus christ get that boy some water and 3) got away with it. this is what i meant about logan being alex's turnaround point. he literally lost at the golf game just like he was worried he would and yet here he's the most happy and comfortable he's been all video

okay let's round it off with– alex what the FUCK is this posture. i was going to take a ss already because of how close he leaned into logan (we know you can see the goddamn ipad alex you aint slick) and THEN he did this. shoulders slanted. hand on the hip. face like the gay best friend about to judge the shit out of the guy you're falling for. what in the actual fuck is going on here i mean i was so not ready for the amount of cunt that was served in a literal shift of position. also can we talk about how alex is literally built like a spaghetti noodle and the height difference is very very obvious but here he's throwing out ✨that hip✨ and they're definitely closer to the same height? that is both adorable and just absolutely ridiculous and i'm loving every second of it. the fact that logan is entirely oblivious just makes it funnier.

the smiles, guys. the smiles. i'm breaking my own heart rewatching these but god fucking dammit james vowels i'll take what i can get.

[harrowedknight]

OC info and lore m’lord? Brave knight… please they’re both so handsome… I’d take Hancock in a knife fight for just one date fr…. Bleeding on the concrete outside kle0s shop rn….

Omg,,, thank u for the ask, I’ll take this as an opportunity to introduce all of my fellas since i have multiple saves/ocs for fallout 4. Right now they’re all in separate aus but I wanna connect them, I just haven’t decided who I want to be the sosu yet, if i even want one at all.

Starting with Ranger, my newest character. He’s the charismatic leader of the Minutemen. He likes making light of every situation, but he knows when to take things seriously. He just puts on a laidback attitude so he appears less intimidating. He’s trying very hard to make the commonwealth safer, but he has some doubts and insecurities about his position, which he bottles up and keeps to himself. He wants to be the person that everyone can rely on and look up to, even if that means putting his own problems aside to appear put-together and strong. He’s the one I draw Edward Deegan with, and I wanna do more with the two of them since I love me some eldritch horror vibes. I imagine Ranger and Edward go on relic hunts for Jack Cabot after their questline, getting into hijinks and fun spooky, horrifyingly traumatic adventures. Maybe kissing along the way. Who knows.

Knight on the other hand, is an anxious, paranoid little glorbo; and I say this while he stands at like 6’4”, he’s BIG, the tallest of all of my guys. He’s got severe PTSD and he really doesn’t like living in the apocalypse. He had a wife! They were in a queer platonic relationship; they got married for the benefits but they’re both gay. He’s devastated after losing her, since she was his best friend. He has a very hard time adjusting to the new commonwealth, he barely scrapes by, has to force himself to function because everything reminds him of war and suffering. He eventually stumbles into Goodneighbor, gets hooked on chems to distract himself from bad memories, meets Hancock one bad night and ends up getting drunk/rambling to the poor ghoul. They end up hitting it off despite the ridiculous introduction. Hancock manages to ground Knight, gives him a purpose again; helping good people, and hurting bad people. Knight travels the commonwealth doing odd jobs, trying to do what he can, even joins up with the Railroad to help out the Synths. Just trying to make up for all the time he’d lost, doing what he thinks would’ve made his best friend proud.

Now for Paladin. Yes, he is named Paladin, and yes, he WAS Paladin Paladin before being promoted to Sentinel. It’s probably obvious by now that I have a Dnd/medieval theme for my character’s names. Anyway, Paladin here is— of course— a part of the Brotherhood of Steel. I made him to be a big dickhead because I don’t play mean characters in video games enough. Unlike my other sosus he’s actually thriving in the apocalypse. Before being frozen he was very dissatisfied/disconnected with the ordinary life he was trying to live, he felt like a husk of himself and he couldn’t understand why. After waking up and being met with a destroyed world, his soldier mentality immediately kicked in again. He adapted fast, and when he learns about the Brotherhood and its US military-esc operations he quickly latches onto it. It’s familiar to him, and he excels at his duties. He rises through the ranks quickly, earning his place as Sentinel and developing a massive ego along the way. The Brotherhood makes him feel powerful, and that sort of becomes an addiction of sorts. He just wants more and more power, he wants to be respected; and if not respected, feared.

And as a bonus unrelated to fallout 4,

This is Monty, aka Montague. He’s a prewar ghoul living in the Canadian territories, or Little America as it’s referred to in the Fallout universe. He was a proud mountie back before Canada was annexed, kept his uniform in a locked safe for years. When the bombs fell and he was ghoulified, he pulled it out and dedicated himself to helping those who get lost in the nuclear winter. I’m still learning things about Fallout lore so idk how Canada is depicted after the bombs in canon, but the idea I had is that Monty lives in a massive, snowy wasteland which he’s learned to navigate with a lot of hard work and dedication. He earns caps by guiding people through the tundra, since few know how to avoid all the dangers it poses.

[meatychunks]

Conan the Barbarian and how it correlates to Mike's inner struggles

I know the topic of Mike's bedroom has been talked to death, whether it's the one-way sign or the buff dragon with nipples poster. However, rarely do I ever see talks on the Conan the Barbarian poster or even on the film itself, which is properly due to the film being somewhat notorious for its terrible treatment of women.

Whenever I do see it, people usually stick it up to being a part of his gay sexual awaking, which was sprinkled throughout his introduction in this season. And while I agree that's a part of it, I believe that they choose this film specifically rather than its sequel (which was only two years old in 86') for its depictions of minorities and masculinity to perfectly sum up his struggles with not only conformity but also toxic masculinity of the 1980s.

A HEADS-UP WITH TALKS OF SEXISM, RAPE, HOMOPHOBIA PLUS BREIF NUDITY.

Let's start with how it portrays sensitivity among men. Right off the bat, we see the film favours traditional masculine values with a conversation between Conan and his father shortly before the massacre of his tribe by the doom cult, with him telling Conan not to trust anyone and allow himself to be vulnerable, only trusting the steel of his sword which, in the film's own words, was founded by men.

Rather than this being a critique on how men are often been forced out of emotional availability by generations before them, it's taken as words of wisdom that Conan takes to heart as we see him from a scrawny kid that lost everything to a muscular killing machine, stripped from sensitivity and is seen by other characters as the prime specimen of man.

Male sensitivity is often depicted as a weakness and is unsurprisingly lumped with homosexuality as something to be ridiculed. We see this as Conan tries to sneak into the temple of the cult by pretending to be a shy and nervous bystander while wearing flowers (to which he says "for a girl" when being asked the purpose of them the scene prior), this attracts the attention of a priest who makes suggestive comments about his body all while caressing his chest. He asks to continue their discussion in private, an obvious implication of a hookup, and ends up getting killed by Conan.

Not only it's presented as something antagonistic with the act of desiring another man seen as something perverse, but also, the implications of GNC men shouldn't be taken seriously and only seen as a target for sexual assault.

Traditional masculinity carries into how women are represented. With it not only their screen time is few and far between but also only serve as sexual reward to male characters or to show off their power, women who don't fall into this category are usually ridiculed by our main protagonist, often being called sluts or hoes. They are disregarded shortly after their introduction by being killed and/or raped (including a woman being raped by Conan during his montage to power).

The only recurring female character is Valeria (we only find that's her name in the film's credits, so take that what you will) who gives the illusion of a strong character with being able to fight aside the male characters and her snarky attribute during her introduction, but ultimately ends up being a tool for Conan by falling into the wife role with her never being able to have true goals of her own. She disappears from narrative, only to show up towards the end for a tiny bit to meet her demise.

The poster reflects her role in the narrative with its composition, with her kneeling down so the viewers' eyes lead up to the main piece Conan, just an add-on to show his power.

Now that's not to say it doesn't cater to female viewers (and unknowingly to queer men) by taking full advantage of the female gaze with multiple lingering close-up shots of Conan, some framed in suggestive angles and even scenes only exiting just to show off Arnold Schwarzenegger's muscular frame (take the random sex scene with the witch for example). And while there is female nudity, like women in this film, it's treated with a lot less care with being in wide shots and going just as quickly as it appears.

Which finally brings us to this film's queer coding. It's common for macho action films to fall into homoerotic undertones due to their misogynistic tendencies, this film being no different with it being parodied in other media, even during its initial release, particularly in underground comics.

An example I like to bring up is Conan's "first time" in a fight. He's confused and nervous as he's thrust into battle bare apart from a loin cloth and is attacked by his opponent, but as the fight progresses, he gets more confident and begins to relish in it.

Overall, the film does serve escapism for it's male audience with its power fantasy elements, but rather of it being done through our main protagonist, it's done through the world where the narrative inhabits with it taking pride that worth is achieved through physical strength, wealth and sexual conquest. And while the narrative is the classic trope of the underdog going against a figure of high power, even they can't help finding his lifestyle appealing.

Now....

What does this tell us about Mike?

Well, we know that his family often emotionally neglect him and encourage him to give up vulnerability (i.e., making him give up his childhood toys that have emotional value and viewing his outbursts as just "delinquent behaviour").

His poor treatment towards El starting when they are together at the start of season 3. Starting off somewhat small with implicitly being disinterested in her when they are actually alone, take their conversation during his bike ride to the mall during his introduction or him jumping on the first chance he got on reducing their time together when Hopper stepped in (despite going against his wishes when it came to looking for Will in season 1).

However, when she starts to gain some independence through Max and stops being "his pet", rather than admit his mistakes and apologise like how Lucas does with Max or how he does to Will shortly after upsetting him, he starts using sexist language and starts to get controlling when said independence is applied to her use of powers.

His implicit homophobia during his projection, when Will (Who is canonically considered GNC during this time) implies his changed in behaviour as something negative.

And this might be a stretch, but maybe him tying his self-worth to whether or not he is able to provide and protect is also due to the societal pressures of gender roles and him feeling inferior to El could possibly be a hint of jealousy due to her being able to fulfil said roles despite her gender.

And we all know he has a certain type when it comes to men.

[davekat-sucks]

(Found this image on Twitter)

I really don't like the Omega kids. I take them as seriously as I take the alphasprites, they don't exist to me. Hearing you guys talk about these little mistakes feels like watching everyone talk about a hypothetical scenario or dream some guy had once... which is the Homestuck experience now.

I dislike them, but it's not just because their stories stem from terrible couples, it's because they're so over designed but there is no meaning to anything.

It's cute Tavros has a bow tie and that Harry has a bandana but those feel like little trinkets that should have been added on later after we get used to seeing them. Show me their personalities first before you overload a character with this much clothing. Yiffy is the worst of these. It's too much. For some reason Eridan feels like a simpler design than this avril lavigne clone. There is something less cohesive and more busy about these designs than the original cast. Maybe it's because it has too many different grays and blacks. She looks more like a vast error character than a Homestuck one.

Look at how simple the character designs start out as, and then they purposely make their own outfits that fit their interests and personalities. Dirk may be a bit of an exception here actually, he changes his clothes right after he is introduced. Which introduces him as anal.

There is meaning here. There is a purpose that the story shares throughout it's run. Look at Rose's dress it was made from the velvet pillow introduced when her mom one-upped her and Roxy's outfit here clearly being a reference to her mom's love of knitting. There is a reason Jade wears blue and John wears green even though that isn't their colors. Dave's shades are a gift from John. John is wearing a bootlegged slimer shirt. I'm not saying the Omega kids need every article of clothing to have a backstory, but if they wear this much clothing it doesn't tell me much.

Why does Yiffy wear cleats if she was hidden away from the world? Did she run around in a backyard like a dog or something? I don't even remember if that is her story or not, I forgot so much about her because I was more focused on how she was a child that Rose had behind her wife's back. They're overloaded with drama too.

To add to that. I haven't placed much thought in it but I don't know what the Omega kids color scheme is supposed to be. I assume the Beta kids colors come from basic web colors. If you invert the beta kid's colors you get the Alpha kids color scheme.

The Omega kids just feel scattered and unorganized. It makes them feel even more meaningless because they don't fit in. If that is the point then why not have five kids to really fuck with the system here? The writers should have really ran with the whole "we're flipping the script and subverting expectations" thing.

I also don't give a shit if this is nitpicky, I'm sure you guys can all see there is something off about the omega kids.

I agree about the accessories doesn't really show they are connected with the Beta Kid adults. If the bandana is suppose to be like a replacement to how Roxy wears a scarf, then let the boy wear a scarf and not a stupid gay bandana. You think that Kanaya, who is a fashionista herself, would be critical of what her daughter, Vrissy wears. And if you are saying she would never reprimand her daughter because she looks like her crush, then that brings up a worse implication that she really is grooming her to be like Vriska by enabling her bad habits. What confuses me is Tavvy's overshirt has the matching color of Gamzee, the one who MOLESTED HIM. You think after his death, he would never wear that color and be disgusted by any shade of purple that's within his sight. Unless him still wearing that purple vest now is still symbolizing he is still bound by Gamzee or can't move on after what he did to him.

But yeah, nothing about the Omega Kids designs makes sense. And I still am on the side that laughs at Yiffany looking more like Nostalgia Critic.

[mdhwrites]

The Grimwalker as a concept was so weird. Mainly that Hunter was all 'ohhhh no we cant tell them im a spooky Grimwalker!' But... why would anyone care? The only reason given is that hes a reincarnation of a guy nobody even knows or cares about. Theres not even like, a spooky myth about Grimwalkers because its got such a vague ruleset and premise. He's barely different from a demon.

That COULD have linked to the demon discrimination plotline youve talked about, but there is none so it cant be that. Which i understand was partially because Dana wanted the gays to just exist, so she scrapped discrimination in general. But, a big part of forming cultures and identity is 'Otherness'. People compare themselves to others and define themselves by how theyre different. So scrapping discrimination ends up making the witchs and demons feel like nothing. They have nothing to compare their identity and culture against because theres just no conflict to spark comparison.

This lack of substance also means the fans don't care about Grimwalkers. See the moring comic where the Grimwalker was turned into ANOTHER way to say 'haha Boscha so cringe amirite? point and laugh because she has nobody who loves her.' even though the grimwalker is to reincarnate the dead.

OH MY GOD I'M SO HAPPY SOMEONE ELSE NOTICED THAT! *SCREAMS BLOODY MURDER* Like I know Mark just writes Boscha how the entire fandom sees her (which hasn't helped me enjoy A Hint of Blue, not that I think it's good regardless) but seriously what the fuck!? Why do that to her except just to be mean!?

*sighs* What were we talking about? OH RIGHT! Grimmwalkers.

So for why Hunter has anxiety, it actually is because TOH is doing a very basic clone/artificial human storyline with Hunter and those arcs are actually a lot more internally motivated than externally motivated. Clone lives a life believing they're their own person, then one day finds out they're not, perceives themselves as less because of this distinction but then in the end decides that regardless of their origin, they are their own person and so throw off their shackles, embrace who they are and become better for it. It has nothing to do with race and while it is baby's first clone story, I also still like it conceptually because, well, there's a reason why it's the default clone story. It especially is good for kid's media because while the clone can struggle with the anxiety of it, their friends never have to actually be bad or discriminatory against them because the point is loving yourself for who you are and not who you were made to be.

But I've talked before about how this basic framework actually has a Catch 22 built into it when it comes to Hunter... Which apparently Tumblr wants to tell me I've never done before. Thanks search function. The short version is that this template requires not only a rejection of what they were made for but for them to become distinctly different, usually opposite, to their purpose/original. For Hunter, he only knows Belos so this takes shape in trying to be the opposite of him. The problem is that the opposite of Belos... Is Caleb. Who Hunter mimics in every action he takes after getting away from Belos. There's literally no way to follow this template without adding complexities like him accepting his true origin and being okay/happy with that, something that was probably unlikely in general but especially wasn't going to happen with the shortening, which I will actually give people for. Because the Grimmwalker twist happens so late, they either had to cut it or had no time to actually do anything with it which like... Why not cut it? You did nothing with it and it actually made sure you didn't have the time to actually have Hunter reject Belos' morality so that his redemption doesn't come across as self serving and for survival more than an actual, you know, change to his beliefs.

As for how interesting Grimmwalkers are... They're just clones. Boilerplate, boring clones. Make a body based on another person, put memories in, BAM! Got yourself a clone. Doesn't get more classic than that. It's hardly even magical honestly besides the components, especially with how it actually doesn't give them magic despite those components, or have weird quirks since they're not actually made of flesh and blood, elements that the fans have had a lot of fun with that the show never does, though admittedly part of that is due to how late it happens. Then again, all magic in TOH is boring so it's not likely they would have anyways. Also, you know, a lot of shows will do a single clone episode and have more fun and magic to it than TOH does with one of their core cast members being one so *shrug*

Now, for the final part, I do want to also touch on the 'other' aspect because while discrimination is one way to do it, you can get this across in other ways. One such way is the core defining trait of the Grimmwalker from a tangible standpoint: He doesn't have magic. In a society that mostly has magic, him not having it is a big deal. It's literally what gives him and Willow their first connection as a couple, as insulting as that scene actually should be to Hunter.

And then Hunter is 'fixed' when he gains his magic. His 'other' status removed because he's a real boy now. *SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH*

I have so much more I could say about TOH and 'The Other' (made a blog about a lot of it between writing this draft and publish) but I'll leave it at that so it actually stays on topic instead of the half a dozen tangents I've deleted. None of this makes it good by the way and with how TOH tackles most subjects like this, it's incredibly unlikely that more time would have made it better. After all, being a Grimmwalker is only one of like a half dozen TANTALIZING character/arc concepts for Hunter that are never addressed. The fact that he is trained to kill witches and likely has. His relationship with the Isles because he doesn't have inherent magic. The fact that he is filled with such care for the nation and its government that it blocks out all else in his world. How a sheltered child reacts when they suddenly have freedom and are thrust into the wider world. Etc. etc. that are just footnotes to the writers more than anything to actually build a complete arc around or else they wouldn't have just keep adding to the angst bucket without actually resolving any of it.

So of course Grimmwalkers are bland while being a fine to good concept that's then made terrible by narrative implication or neglect. That's EVERYTHING to do with Hunter.

======+++++=====

Sidenote for this one: It is funny that Dana wanted there to be no bigotry in the Isles when her villains entire scheme is through religious persecution. You know, bigotry. Whole other blog I could go into.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

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