#seriously the fact that albus said “no more a death eater than i” is both ironic and telling too and i do not have time to go feral

[lilithofpenandbook]

Dumbledore saying Snape was no more of a death eater than he is actually very significant considering the fact that he and Snape essentially have the exact same story- got interested in dark arts, got groomed/manipulated into doing bad things with said dark arts, and then the death of a loved one that's indirectly their fault too, and then never forgiving themselves and devoting life to redemption/repentance.

Dumbledore could have said Severus Snape is no longer a death eater. Just that. But he compared Snape to himself. In this essay I-

[undercover-ballerina]

A snippet from chapter 1 of Trailblazing & Stargazing

Voldemort was dead. Again. They had made it back to present day, safe and sound. The children had gone back to Hogwarts. The grownups, including none other than reformed Death Eater, former school bully, overall nightmare of their childhood Draco Malfoy, had spent a few hours at Grimmauld Place going over the latest events. Harry and Ginny seemed to have finally accepted that Albus was a Slytherin and Scorpius Malfoy was his best friend. They were going to have to deal with the ferret more in the future and were trying to digest that. Ron still didn’t like Draco one bit, but Hermione appreciated the fact that they had both been civil to each other. 

She dreaded the moment Ron would realize that Scorpius had a huge crush on Rose, and the feeling was probably mutual, although Rose herself didn’t seem to be aware of that just yet. She thought Malfoy had changed dramatically, long gone was the spoiled racist brat he had been in school. The war had changed him, just like it had changed them, and the whole tragedy of his wife’s blood curse and subsequent death had left deep scars on him. He was now a generous man and he was still trying to atone for his sins, most of society had forgiven him but he couldn’t seem to forgive himself. Scorpius was a nice kid as well, he looked just like his dad at that age but had a kind smile instead of a mean smirk. He’d grow up to be a good man, without his father’s traumatic past. Draco was a good dad, much unlike Lucius.

Hermione and Ron apparated back into the garden and walked inside their empty two-story brick house. When they had married they had chosen to live in a muggle town on the outskirts of London, similar to where she had grown up. They had muggle technology, like a fridge and a TV, and magical commodities such as floo connection and owl post. Both she and Ron had gotten driving licenses and the children had attended muggle primary school, together with the Potters, before going to Hogwarts. They had the best of both worlds and Hermione really wanted to make it easier for other wizarding families to do the same.

“I’ll make some tea. Are you hungry?” asked Ron, nervously threading his hand through his slightly thinning, but still very brightly ginger, hair. 

“Yes please! I’m starving, really! I’m too old for battling evil wizards, I’m afraid.” Replied Hermione sitting down on the sofa. 

Her hair was still wild, as if it struggled to contain her energy, but some strands here and there were turning grey and she had a few thin lines at the corners of her eyes. She was never one to care about glamour charms or muggle make-up. She showed the signs of her age proudly, she had earned every one of them through the pain, joy, loss and achievement she had gone through in her 41 years of life. Not that she was old, but society always expected women to look like horny teenagers and she would have none of that rubbish.

She picked up one of the many scrolls of parchment her personal assistant had left on the coffee table, as per previous agreement, for her to review. The wizarding world hadn't stopped while the Golden Trio was traveling through time to prevent history from changing for the worst, she had to keep up. She took her job as Minister of Magic very seriously, she was trying to change the future, thank you very much.

Ron handed her a steaming cup of tea and, not finding any room on the table, sat down balancing a plate of samosas on his knee. 

“You know I love you, right?” he said with a deep sigh while nervously tapping his fingers on a cushion. 

“Of course I do, I love you too Ron, you are my best friend.” Her eyes never lifted from the parchment as she replied and took a samosa from the plate. She took a bite, enjoying the spicy goodness within and then sipped her tea, still reading. 

“You are my best friend too ‘Mione.” He stopped for a second and swallowed air, his Adam’s apple slightly bobbing. “That’s why I think we should get a divorce.”

[pet-genius]

A complex and many-layered thing

But Harry’s anger at Snape continued to pound through his veins like venom. Let go of his anger? He could as easily detach his legs. . . .

This is the first Occlumency lesson. Harry is right, of course. Feelings don’t go away because you want them to. To let go of them when they’ve not been addressed or validated can be as hard as detaching a leg. And yet, it’s what Dumbledore asked Snape to do, and it’s what Snape had to do to survive the first war as Dumbledore’s spy. You have to ask yourself… how?

Trapped animals chew off their own legs to escape. It’s a sacrifice they make to survive.

If there’s one thing in a fic that turns me off it, it’s the idea that Occlumency shields are a thing, that Severus was so gifted at it because he’s got some power like Second Sight or being a metamorphagus. I always preferred to think of Occlumency and Legilimency as skills that can be learned, even if some have more aptitude for it than others.

Severus entered Hogwarts with the kind of life experience that primed him for developing these skills, and left it with even more. Occlumency is magical dissociation, a post-traumatic coping mechanism, and Severus has C/PTSD. More under the cut; tw: just general angst.

To survive, he would have had to develop a knack for telling how explosive and unpredictable people feel. Over his life, he faced at least two egregious examples of what Pete Walker, author of “Complex PTSD” calls “the Charming Bully”.

Especially devolved fight types can become sociopathic. Sociopathy can range along a continuum that stretches from corrupt politician to vicious criminal. A particularly nasty sociopath, who I call the charming bully, probably falls somewhere around the middle of this continuum. The charming bully behaves in a friendly manner some of the time. He can even occasionally listen and be helpful in small amounts, but he still uses his contempt to overpower and control others. This type typically relies on scapegoats for the dumping of his vitriol. These unfortunate scapegoats are typically weaker than him. […] He generally spares his favorites from this behavior, unless they get out of line. If the charming bully is charismatic enough, those close to him will often fail to register the unconscionable meanness of his scapegoating. The bully’s favorites often slip into denial, relieved that they are not the target. Especially charismatic bullies may even be admired and seen as great.

These would be James Potter and Tom Riddle, who are distantly related, I might add. Harry inherited the tendency to default to the fight response, but since he grew up the scapegoat and not the golden child, he never becomes quite as appalling, and after all, a fight response is normal when they are after you. Even so, Harry, who has both James and Voldemort inside him, triggers Severus to no end. It’s not a coincidence that the memories Harry sees when he is with him are largely horrible, and vice versa. There had to be happy or at least neutral or even boring moments, but these two detest each other, and they know they detest each other. Negative emotions and associated memories are so close to the surface they can’t be contained. This is the purpose of the Pensieve in this context - to contain the emotions. Since Severus knew what was in there when he pulled Harry out, my theory is that you don’t suddenly forget the memories you placed there, but rather you make them less fraught with emotions.

“Get up!” said Snape sharply. “Get up! You are not trying, you are making no effort, you are allowing me access to memories you fear, handing me weapons!”

Harry stood up again, his heart thumping wildly as though he had really just seen Cedric dead in the graveyard. Snape looked paler than usual, and angrier, though not nearly as angry as Harry was. “I — am — making — an — effort,” he said through clenched teeth.

“I told you to empty yourself of emotion!”

“Yeah? Well, I’m finding that hard at the moment,” Harry snarled.

“Then you will find yourself easy prey for the Dark Lord!” said Snape savagely. “Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked this easily — weak people, in other words — they stand no chance against his powers! He will penetrate your mind with absurd ease, Potter!”

A lot to unpack here.

“Memories you fear,” “weapons”, “easy prey”.

Fearing your own memories, viewing your own lived experiences as weapons to be used against you, being easy prey… Severus could not be speaking louder of himself here. He is the one whose mind had been penetrated with absurd ease, he is the one who handed weapons to Voldemort, and he is the one who had to do the psychological equivalent of detaching his own leg – again and again – to survive.

I’ll argue that Severus developed a fawn response and a flight response, as fighting had never really worked out for him if it was possible at all. He had at least two more people I’d describe as bullies in his life, Tobias and Lucius.

Again from Pete Walker:

These [fawn] response patterns are so deeply set in the psyche, that as adults, many codependents automatically respond to threat like dogs, symbolically rolling over on their backs, wagging their tails, hoping for a little mercy and an occasional scrap. Webster’s second entry for fawn is: “to show friendliness by licking hands, wagging its tail, etc.: said of a dog.” I find it tragic that some codependents are as loyal as dogs to even the worst “masters”.

Remember what Sirius called him? Lucius’s lapdog. Bellatrix called him Dumbledore’s pet, Dumbledore said he dangles on Voldemort’s arm, the narrative compares Snape to a rabbit in SWM and Harry compares the Half Blood Prince to a beloved pet who had gone feral (yes, this does mean a lot to me on a personal level, yes my username is not a coincidence).

His unconscious fawn response might have been his undoing, drawn as he was to figures like Lucius and Voldemort. As an adult, I think he utilized the skills he had developed to survive in order to stitch these people up, and involuntary dissociation and fawning became Occlumency, which to me, is his signature magic. Harry needed only to banish Voldemort from his mind; Severus could not settle for this. He had to give Voldemort something, and knowing how to fawn meant knowing what to give him and how to draw himself in such a light that Voldemort would believe it. We see how he wanted to be seen by the Death Eaters: a self-serving coward who sought to hide behind Dumbledore’s apron, playing his pet. But that’s Pettigrew, not Snape. Imagine the self-immolation, the self-violation, it must have taken to convince everyone that you’re an ersatz Wormtail! Snape is a man and a prince, and the text recognizes this as Harry calls him, in the end, Dumbledore’s man, the bravest man, and as that chapter is called “The Prince’s Tale”. Voldemort thought Snape was nothing more than a “good and faithful servant,” and that his last words were “My Lord”.

But Severus had an unequaled gift for Occlumency, specifically against Voldemort, because Voldemort could not legilimens what he couldn’t feel; and he couldn’t feel love, grief, guilt, and remorse. This was Severus’s secret weapon, which would not have worked against Harry - who can feel these things, and who is also Lily’s son. I can prove it. The first time Harry gets the hang of Occlumency is after Dobby dies:

His scar burned, but he was master of the pain; he felt it, yet was apart from it. He had learned control at last, learned to shut his mind to Voldemort, the very thing Dumbledore had wanted him to learn from Snape. Just as Voldemort had not been able to possess Harry while Harry was consumed with grief for Sirius, so his thoughts could not penetrate Harry now, while he mourned Dobby. Grief, it seemed, drove Voldemort out . . . though Dumbledore, of course, would have said that it was love. . . .

Harry learned to dissociate, though fortunately in a healthier way than many of us ever get to.

Of course, Snape was a good and faithful servant… to Dumbledore, which brings us to the flight response. The chapter wherein he escapes after killing Dumbledore is called “Flight of the Prince”. He should be fighting, he had just proven that he can cast a killing curse, and yet he flees. He can literally fly, in fact: He, Lily, and Voldemort are the only ones we see pulling this off.

As a child, we see this too: He copes with his home situation by reminding himself “it won’t be long and I’ll be gone.” He is thrilled when he imagines Hogwarts, his escape; he follows Lily out of the carriage instead of confronting James and Sirius head-on (which might have saved them all a lot of pain eventually). But this doesn’t work out, we see that in terrifying detail. The next attempt at an escape is joining the Death Eaters, but this too doesn’t work out.

He can’t flee anymore.

“Severus, you cannot pretend this isn’t happening!” Karkaroff’s voice sounded anxious and hushed, as though keen not to be overheard. “It’s been getting clearer and clearer for months. I am becoming seriously concerned, I can’t deny it —”

“Then flee,” said Snape’s voice curtly. “Flee — I will make your excuses. I, however, am remaining at Hogwarts.”

Shortly thereafter:

“Severus,” said Dumbledore, turning to Snape, “you know what I must ask you to do. If you are ready . . . if you are prepared . . .”

“I am,” said Snape.

He looked slightly paler than usual, and his cold, black eyes glittered strangely.

He was ready, and he was prepared. He didn’t fly; he walked toward what might well have been his end with open eyes, armed only with the strength of his mind. Before Voldemort killed him, he looked pale, again, and terrified.

“I sought a third wand, Severus. The Elder Wand, the Wand of Destiny, the Deathstick. I took it from its previous master. I took it from the grave of Albus Dumbledore.”

And now Snape looked at Voldemort, and Snape’s face was like a death mask. It was marble white and so still that when he spoke, it was a shock to see that anyone lived behind the blank eyes.

I ask myself if this was the moment he realized he had been betrayed, that by giving Dumbledore a painless death he had secured his own. Maybe he wasn’t pale because he was scared; maybe he was pale because he was shocked. He was at his absolute limit, Occluding with all his might when he could have easily saved himself. The dam is about to break. All the memories he feared, all the weapons, the entire content of his heart is about to spill through - literally.

He fawned for Voldemort, the worst of all possible masters, but in the end, he was Voldemort’s undoing. All the ways in which he was weak and powerless against Tobias, James, Lucius, et al., proved to be part of goodness and source of his power. It doesn’t surprise me in the least that Snape is so loved. I’ve never actually seen such love for any other fictional character. He represents a kind of courage that many of us need to get by, lest we simply become evil or give the fuck up (“I wish I was dead”). A kind of courage rarely celebrated. The more time I’ve spent in the fandom in general and in the Snapedom in particular, the more I am convinced of this.

[slytherinknowitall]

To Bed A Death Eater

Chapter 2: Doubt

(Click here for chapter 1!)

Disclaimer: I don’t own the “Harry Potter” book series. The story of “Harry Potter” is the property of J. K. Rowling, it is not my intellectual property. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought. This is for entertainment purposes only.

Less than ten minutes later, there was a timid knock at her door, and Hermione would have been lying if she had said that that sound did not make her heart skip a beat.

Putting aside the book she’d been absentmindedly flicking through, she walked to the door with a rather stiff and unsteady gait before pulling it open to reveal the familiar figure of the Potions Master.

“Professor Snape,” she whispered breathlessly, trying hard to ignore the sudden lump in her throat. “Um, please, come in.”

Stepping aside, she watched as the man hesitantly took one cautious step into the crammed room; and the unusual sight of his visible wariness made her mentally smack her own forehead.

Of course. He can’t see!

“Here, let me help you,” she offered, reaching out her hand without a moment’s thought. When she touched his forearm, he drew a sharp intake of breath. “Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you, sir.”

Snape did not say anything in response. For an agonizingly long time, they just stood like that in the doorway of her bedroom, her hand on his arm, the awkwardness in the air virtually palpable. It was only when there was suddenly the sound of commotion coming from downstairs that Hermione summoned up the nerve to pull him inside, locking the door behind them. Getting out her wand, she applied a silencing charm as well as some protective wards for good measure.

Better safe than sorry. It certainly wouldn’t do any good to have someone just barge in.

Turning back around to face him, she tentatively grabbed his elbow and guided him towards her bed. She could not help but silently cringe as she saw him there, seated on her tiny twin-size bed, thinking about what might be happening soon in that very spot. But alas, her small bedroom, which she had moved into a mere two months earlier, did not offer any other sitting accommodations. And so, though her heart was trembling so very terribly, she went and sat next to him.

For a while, neither one of them spoke. Kneading her fingers, the young woman struggled to ignore how uncomfortably close she presently was to her former teacher as she stared out the window overlooking the deserted street outside. Looking back, she could not have said with certainty whether it had only been a few minutes or several hours, but by the time the streetlights came on, she finally plucked up the courage to say, “I’m glad that you decided to come here so that we can talk in private.”

“I did not have much of a choice,” Snape admitted huskily. “Alastor practically pushed me upstairs while Albus tried to contain everyone else in the kitchen.”

“They’re still not very thrilled about this, aren’t they?”

He gave an affirmative grunt. “Most of them were ready to jump at my throat and kill me with their bare hands right there and then.”

“Oh …” Hermione had to swallow hard. “I’m sorry. They really ought not to treat you like that.”

“I don’t blame them. I truly have half a mind to turn my own wand on myself.”

A troubled frown creased Hermione’s forehead. There was an obvious hint of blatant self-hatred dripping from his words, and she did not like that. She did not like that one bit.

But before she even had the chance to respond, he continued, “I will be honest with you … I do not even know what to say to you right now.”

Vaguely tracing the diamond pattern of the quilt they were sitting on with one finger, she tried her best to sound nonchalant as she mumbled, “Well, why don’t you simply tell me whether or not you accept my offer.”

“Miss Granger, I –”

“Would you mind if we used first names?” she interrupted him. “Just for today. It’s just that formalities would make this whole thing even weirder than it already is.”

She saw him hesitate for a second.

“All right … Hermione,” he ultimately conceded, and it was so weird to hear him properly address her by her given name for the very first time – though she had to admit that it sounded quite nice coming from his lips. Something about that deep voice of his made her stomach clench up into knots. “As much as I appreciate it, I obviously cannot accept your proposal.”

“Why not?”

“Even forgetting the fact that you were my student for seven years and that I am a lot older than you, I could never in good faith make you endure such a thing. This, this curse,” he spat out the word with disgust. “Is a lot more powerful than you could ever even imagine. It would strip me of all control and force me to do unspeakable things to you that could very well destroy your sanity.”

He turned away from her in an unsuccessful attempt to hide his facial expression which was filled with nothing but self-loathing. “Even now, I can feel the dark magic coursing through my veins, tugging at my mind. It senses your presence. I can hear it whisper to me, bidding me to just rip off this stupid blindfold and take you right here. Merely sitting next to you already requires more will power than any time I have had to shield my mind from the Dark Lord.”

The witch’s breathing hitched in her throat. His crude confession made her heart beat so fast that it was almost threatening to break out of her ribcage. Willing herself to take a deep breath, she squeezed her eyes shut and forced herself to stay put.

No. No, you can do this. For the Order. For Harry.

“I don’t believe that Professor Dumbledore would have sent you up here if he thought that there was a chance of me being seriously harmed,” she said softly, her eyes still closed. “And I also don’t believe that any kind of dark magic would ever be able to entirely overpower your morals and your good heart.”

He snorted with biting laughter. “Then you clearly do not know me well at all. Or him, for that matter. All that old madman cares about is the cause. We are all nothing but mere chess pieces in that little, rigged game of his he likes to play.”

“Don’t say that –”

“But it’s the truth! Don’t you see?” His tone gradually got louder and louder. “Any reasonably sane man in his position would have simply hired an unsuspecting prostitute, slipped her a couple of potions and then sent her back home with an altered memory and a nice, big bag filled to the brim with Galleons, blissfully unaware of any specifics. But not Albus. No, in his mind, raping the Muggle-born third of the Golden Trio is the perfect way to feign loyalty to the enemy and thus securing his plaything’s rank among the Dark Lord’s inner circle. Ha! As distraught as he might have acted, he knew from the beginning that you’d be the one to volunteer. Only you’d be foolish enough to let the greasy git of the dungeons fuck you in an attempt to save his pathetic, miserable life. You and your stupid saviour complex. So please, don’t be so naïve. This is all just a fucking charade to that bloody bedlamite!”

What followed that angry outburst was silence – complete and utter silence. Not even the rustling of the trees outside or the rapid palpitations inside both of their chests seemed to be able to penetrate their noiseless bubble. Hermione could feel her own pulse thumbing in her ears, and her mouth felt almost disgustingly dry. Wordlessly counting to a hundred, she at last opened her eyes and dared to cast a glance at the wizard. He was sitting in a hunched-over position, his face buried in his hands. Never before had she seen him like that, so evidently helpless, so vulnerable. For some reason, it nearly made her feel physically sick to witness him in such a state.

“I understand your apprehension, I really do,” she muttered gently. “I’m not quite keen on having to do this either. But I honestly don’t see any other way out of this mess. Somehow or the other, the curse must be broken … and time is running out.”

“I know,” he croaked out, the words muffled by his hands.

“And for all his faults, Professor Dumbledore is right. We cannot put ourselves before the cause. Especially not during dark times like these.” She could not stop her face from twisting into an anguished grimace. “Besides, I dare say that you are being a bit naïve yourself if you think that tricking a stranger would not weigh heavy on your conscience, too.”

Snape slowly lifted his head a little, allowing his chin to come to a rest on the pressed-together tips of his fingers, which were horribly stained from years of daily brewing.

“I don’t think that you are fully aware of what you are getting yourself into here. This would not be like any of your previous sexual encounters, Hermione. There would be no romance, no pleasure, no satisfaction. It would be hard and fast and downright animalistic.” He squared his shoulders. “And though I have never made it a habit to keep up with my students’ private lives, I do not think that it would be wrong of me to assume that an ever-busy academic like you most likely has little experience with such things.”

Hermione felt the warmth creep into the apples of her cheeks as her whole body stiffened, and that movement did not go unnoticed.

“I mean, you do have some experience, right?”

No answer.

“Oh god, you aren’t still a virgin, are you?” Snape rasped despairingly before letting his head fall back into his hands.

Hermione shifted her weight with unease. “I do not attach any value to my virginity if that is the problem, sir,” she was quick to assure him, glad to know that he could not see how awfully red-faced she was at that very instant. “When you think about it, it’s really nothing but a social construct. Will I be a different person afterwards? No. Will you be dead should I refuse? Most likely. So the decision is easy, really. The only reason why I … why I haven’t done it yet is because such a situation has simply never arisen before.”

“No! No, this is deranged!” he cried out as his entire body seized up and started to shake. “How could I ever live with myself knowing that I took something like that from you?”

She bit her lower lip. “I very much doubt that it would be that much better to wait for my first true love or maybe even just a drunken night out to come around first,” she argued with furrowed brows. “Because even in that case, it would be awkward and fumbling and, in all likelihood, disappointing. With you, now, it would at least serve a bigger purpose. It would be special – in its own absurd way.”

“I can’t,” he whispered in a quivering voice.

Suddenly feeling bold, Hermione grabbed his wrists and pulled his arms towards her, forcing him to face her.

“You don’t have a choice,” she told him in a beseeching yet stern manner. “You are far too valuable to the Order to stupidly risk your life like this.”

Snape opened his mouth as though to say something in response, but then he quickly closed it again. Pulling free from her grasp, he leaned back until his shoulders were touching the wall against which her bed had been pushed. He looked like a picture of misery. His complexion was of a deathly pale colour, his jaw was clenched, and a few beads of sweat could be seen running down his forehead.

“I do not want to do anything against your will,” he insisted weakly.

“I wouldn’t be too concerned about that if I were you. I –“ She dithered for just a second. Come on, Hermione. Don’t lose him now. “I am rather physically attracted to you.”

His head jerked up in surprise. “You are?”

“Y-yes,” she replied bashfully, all at once feeling dreadfully shy. “I find you quite handsome, actually.”

She was not lying just to make him feel better either. Truth be told, she’d had a slight fascination with him ever since he took over the Defence Against the Dark Arts position during her sixth year, when his passion for the subject really started to shine through – particularly during his more physical demonstrations.

Still, she was glad when he did not ask her to elaborate any further. Watching as he ran a tremulous hand through his jet-black hair, she heard him say, “Surely you are aware of the fact that some men would not take kindly to the fact that you are not chaste anymore?”

“Good!” Hermione huffed exasperatedly. “If they truly measure my worth as a person by who I have given my body to, then I’d rather have them think of me as used goods and leave me alone all together.”

“And what about Weasley?”

She looked at him with confusion in her eyes. “What about him?”

“He seemed … very much opposed to the idea.”

“Oh, he can sod right off!” she snarled angrily, leaping to her feet. “I don’t want anything from him. I never have.”

Walking the short distance to her nearby dressing table, she pulled open one of its drawers and fished out a black hair tie which she then used to fasten her brown curls into a low ponytail at the nape of her neck. Checking her appearance in the half-tarnished mirror, she could see the man rub his hands across his thighs in obvious discomfort.

“It could hurt,” he said in what sounded like a last-ditch effort to keep from having to yield himself to his fate.

Turning around, her mouth twisted into a wry smile.

“I’m sure that I have experienced worse,” she told him calmly, and for a moment, neither one of them said anything. Hermione sat back down next to him. “But like I said, I don’t think you’d ever be actively out to hurt me. I trust you, you know?”

Even though they were mostly hidden behind the blindfold, she could still see his eyebrows lift in surprise. It was abundantly clear that even the mere notion of someone like her trusting someone like him seemed utterly unfathomable to the dark wizard.

There was another short moment of heavy silence. Then, a deep sigh escaping his lips, he finally asked, “Are you really sure?”

The tone of his voice nearly broke her heart. He was normally such an assertive and stern man, but now he just sounded so defeated. It made for an easy choice.

“Yes.”

(Click here for chapter 3!)

[goldenzingy46]

so i found i regulus black as potions master au

...and whilst it’s (unfortunately) anti-snape, it’s also fucking funny.

FIND IT HERE

and if that didn’t convince you, read below for some extracts:

And he goes home to his creepy obsessive mother and says, “Hey mom, guess what, the Dark Lord just tried to off me,” which is debatably true but guaranteed to piss her off, And suddenly the Official Black Viewpoint on Voldemort is that he Needs To Be Dead (which dismays Bellatrix but is actually something of a relief to Narcissa), Unfortunately Sirius is a bit busy being a covert operative for the Order of the Phoenix and doesn’t hear about this, and also he’s still basically disowned on account of being a reckless Gryffindor idiot

But because he’s there, Snape does not manage to get the job, which doesn’t help at all with his ‘everyone is out to get me’ worldview, and then Lily Evans is murdered by Voldemort and everything goes to hell and Snape doesn’t have Dumbledore’s backing and ends up in Azkaban just like everyone always knew he would, the greasy bastard (says everyone who has the time to think about it). Amusingly enough, he ends up across the hall from Sirius Black, who has been tossed unceremoniously in Azkaban for betraying his friends, murdering Peter Pettigrew, and blowing up seventeen Muggles. This has the somewhat unexpected side effect of causing the Dementors to avoid that entire hallway, because there are Absolutely No Happy Thoughts available, on account of Snape and Sirius being so busy hating each other. Like seriously, they basically come up with a schedule: up at seven, bowl of gruel, sneer at each other for two hours, have a screaming fight, bowl of gruel for lunch, three hours of furious glowering, another screaming fight, bowl of gruel for dinner, nasty sniping insults until bedtime. The Dementors have never found two humans so perfectly suited to torture each other before.

Voldemort was wrong and also had created Horcruxes and yeek, dude, those are so evil even the Black Family Library only has one book on them and it’s How To Not Create Horcruxes.

Incidentally, Grimmauld Place has been renovated, because after Regulus’s mother died, he looked around and went, “Wow, this place is creepy as hell. Kreacher! We’re going for a new aesthetic,” and Kreacher went, “Yes, wonderful Master!” and now the whole place is in white and green with silver accents and actually looks like a place you might want to spend time for reasons other than “on the run from the law and haven’t any better choices.” 

He does still end up mixed into the whole mess with the Stone, because this is Harry we’re talking about, but the Trio pretty much figures out the problem is Quirrell from the word ‘go,’ because Professor Black is not sweeping around being Gratuitously Evil all over everything and therefore is not the immediate target of suspicious eleven-year-olds.

Regulus Black hates Lockhart, because no one ought to be more fabulously dressed than Regulus in his own school, you flamboyant fucker, I will out-magnificent you if it’s the last thing I do

Malfoy is still a prat. Some things never change.

Sirius Black breaks out of prison during the summer, for reasons no one can figure out, and the only person to see him go is Severus Snape, who is found laughing hysterically and raving about a black dog, and has therefore clearly been driven mad by Dementors, ah well, no great loss, moving on, nothing to see here. 

If anyone is going to be able to master the Animagus transformation without any training, in Azkaban, for no reason other than Pure Spite (™), it’s going to be Severus Snape. 

Regulus is like, “werewolves are not supposed to be this calm and likeable, I do not even know what is going on, am I friends with a werewolf? I might be friends with a werewolf. Or allies. I can be allies. Allies is a good Slytherin term. We are both on Team Keep Potter Alive Until Voldemort Is Dead.” 

So then Sirius grabs Ron (to get to Peter) and everyone ends up in the Shrieking Shack and there is a lot of shrieking, which includes Sirius yelling “Get behind me, Harry, Regulus is a Death Eater,” and Regulus yelling, “Get behind me, Potter, Sirius is a Death Eater,” and Remus putting both hands over his face and going, “Oh Merlin, two of them, there are two mad Blacks in my life, what even the fuck.”

Unfortunately Sirius is still technically an escaped convict, so he turns back into Snuffles before they get to Hogwarts proper, and Regulus in a moment of Utter Glee (™) is like, “Oh, this is my dog, he’s very devoted to me,” and Sirius has to fawn doggily on his brother. 

Which is actually hilarious, because he walks in for the first time in fifteen years and goes, “Wait, do I have the wrong house?” because everything is light and airy and open and really quite pleasant, and there’s no screaming portraits anywhere, and even the house-elf heads have been relocated to Kreacher’s room. 

So anyway Ireland wins but Krum gets the Snitch and Harry and Ron are having the time of their lives, and honestly Sirius is too because he gets to cadge food from everyone and he gets ear scritches from Remus whenever he wants them and he gets to growl at that supercilious fuck Malfoy whenever he likes. 

Sirius is...not known for his Tactical Planning, and rushes off to Confront the Fake Moody, which honestly goes better than it ought to, because Barty Crouch Jr is not expecting Professor Black’s enormous dog to suddenly turn into Sirius Black and hex him senseless 

When the Lord of the Ancient and Noble House of Black rips off his own sleeve and screams, “Does my Mark look fucking gone to you, you incompetent asshole?” at the Minister for Magic, and said Lord is also one of the most well-respected Professors at Hogwarts, the Minister’s approval ratings tend to tank. 

Regulus is a Slytherin, he’s supposed to be cunning and sneaky and fly under the radar, he shouldn’t be number two on Voldemort’s hit list, this is frankly embarrassing. Sirius is kind of indignant that his brother is higher up Voldemort’s hit list than he is. Really, Sirius? Remus says. That’s what bothers you about this situation?

And after the third nightmare which is pretty clearly a vision not a nightmare, Sirius goes right down to Regulus and is like, “So Harry is having visions in which he’s seeing through Voldemort’s eyes,” and Regulus is like, “Well fuck, that’s what that Horcrux does.” 

Sirius learned Occlumency from his father, who had a lot of things to keep from his mother, and then later from the Department of Mysteries after he became an Auror. His version has a lot of “setting traps in your mind so your enemies really regret trying this.”

Regulus learned Occlumency from his mother, who had a hell of a lot of things to keep from his father, and then later from being servant to a batshit insane Dark Lord. His version has a lot of “hiding everything important under lots and lots of obfuscating facts and memories.”

Voldemort does try to convince Harry that his godfather is being held in the Department of Mysteries. Since Snuffles is asleep on Harry’s feet at the time, that doesn’t have quite the intended effect.

1) Sirius stops following Harry around as a big black dog and starts following him around as a human

2) ...and then realizes that’s not going to work so well at Hogwarts and goes back to following him around as a dog.

3) Sirius formally takes custody of Harry, his godson, and declares that Harry never has to so much as see a Dursley again

4) Regulus points out that since Sirius is the elder son, this makes Sirius Lord Black

5) Sirius has a fit of the screaming meemies at the thought of politics and formally abdicates the title in favor of his brother, who’s been doing a pretty good job so far

Voldemort spends the summer moving into Malfoy Manor, which the Order of the Phoenix figures out after Sirius gets very drunk and flies his motorcycle to Malfoy Manor in order to “glitterbomb those pretentious wannabe-Blacks.” Glitter apparently does not register as a threat to the Malfoy wards, even when it’s been spelled to be unremovable. Not that glitter really needs to be spelled to be unremovable. Sirius figures out who exactly is in residence when a rainbow-glitter-covered Voldemort comes out of the Manor at speed and tries to hex him off his motorcycle. In retrospect, it wasn’t Sirius’s brightest idea ever, but he did learn where Voldemort was!

Harry’s sixth year is the year that Severus Snape, fuelled entirely by Pure Spite (™), reinvents the Animagus transformation from scratch and escapes from Azkaban as an extremely angry bat.

At this point, Snape is rather dubiously sane, on account of fifteen years in Azkaban, which even if he didn’t have to interact much with the Dementors was fifteen years of either solitary confinement or confinement across from the man he hates worst in all the world. Snape therefore has two driving obsessions right now:

1) Voldemort killed Lily Evans and must therefore die.

2) Snape has to outdo Sirius Black, or die trying.

So about a week after the news that Severus Snape, Death Eater, has escaped Azkaban, Hagrid goes out to open the main doors and discovers a dead Death Eater on the front step of Hogwarts with a neat little note that says, “For Lily.” General consensus is that this is Weird.

The night that Malfoy was supposed to get his Great Duty from Voldemort, which was going to be Killing Albus Dumbledore, was the night Sirius decided to glitterbomb the Manor. And Voldemort, whose Priorities can be skewed by Utter Wrath, decided that Malfoy’s Great Duty was going to be Killing That Fucker Black, How Dare He Disrespect Me, I Want His Head. Malfoy is actually sort of okay with this at first because his hair is covered in shiny red glitter and he looks like an off-brand Weasley, which is Not Acceptable.

So what he does is call Sirius in and say, “Hey, brother, do you want to fake your own death and have an enormous funeral so I can kidnap Cousin Narcissa?” Draco is in the corner trying to figure out when his life took an abrupt left turn into Weirdville, Population Him. Sirius is like, “OMG enormous funeral can I come as a Grim and frighten everyone? Please?” Regulus, who is only the practical one if you ask him, is like, “That is a great idea, it will give me a perfect opportunity to kidnap Cousin Narcissa, truly we are tactical geniuses.” Sirius wants there to be So Much Glitter and is rather put out when Regulus vetoes that plan. Harry, when told about this, decides that Amateur Dramatics on the theme of My Godfather Is Dead And Everything Is Terrible sound like a lot of fun, and wants to be chief mourner at the funeral. Hermione is So Done with all of these people. Remus declares that he will go to the funeral in ashes and sackcloth and rend his clothing dramatically at appropriate points for extra pathos. Hermione is Even More Done and goes off to write to Viktor, who can be relied on to talk about sensible things like spellcrafting and also say nice things about her hair. Albus decides that having Sirius be Officially Dead might actually be a good tactical move in the war, and authorizes the use of Hogwarts grounds for the Epic Funeral, but adds some... tactical revisions to the Kidnapping portion of the show. Minerva joins Hermione in the corner of Done With Everything. Sirius designs his own fake corpse, because of course he does. The Epic Funeral goes off without a hitch, somewhat to everyone’s surprise, and Narcissa is exceedingly surprised to be invited to Post-Funeral Tea by her Cousin Regulus and given a Portkey to a secluded and well-warded villa in France, to be used when necessary. Snape, who watched the whole funeral upside-down in a tree, is Delighted. He has Outlived Black! He has Won! Take that, Black! Voldemort is also Delighted. Tiny Malfoy is just as useful as Larger Malfoy!

Albus looks Wise and Cunning and strokes his beard thoughtfully. Regulus does not say Rude Things about Albus’s overblown sense of the dramatic, mostly because he knows perfectly well he doesn’t have a leg to stand on after the Epic Funeral

Albus hatches a Plan (™)

The first bit of seventh year is actually pretty uneventful, and Harry spends it waiting for the Other Shoe to drop, but the only things that drop are another large handful of dead Death Eaters, who show up on the doorstep every week like clockwork 

The Battle of Hogwarts ensues, Highlights include:

1) Ginny Weasley being cornered by Bellatrix Black and nearly killed, except that a fucking enormous bat interposes itself between them and takes the Killing Curse meant for Ginny, and dies with what everyone swears is a look of utter satisfaction on its face

-Literally no one ever figures out what the fuck was up with that, but the bat is buried in Ottery St Catchpole with full honors

2) Neville Longbottom drawing the Sword of Gryffindor out of the Sorting Hat (delivered courtesy of Fawkes) and beheading Nagini

3) Regulus Black being cornered by about eight furious Death Eaters and being rescued by his brother, who surprises the Death Eaters by appearing abruptly behind them and yelling, “Back from the dead, fuckwits! Eat that!”

4) Remus ends up facing off against Pettigrew, who has a silver hand which is poisoning him to death on account of the lycanthropy and Voldemort being Terrible. Pettigrew ends up dead. Eyewitnesses report he may have thanked Remus for the mercy.

5) Ron, Hermione, and Viktor Krum (a late and rather surprising addition to the Order) being a really quite effective team (“Er-my-own-nee is brain, I am brawn, you can be good looks,” Krum is heard to say. Ron spends the entire battle blushing furiously.)

6) Harry and Albus and Hedwig taking Voldemort on together

It turns out the Power the Dark Lord Knows Not is that of a really pissed off snowy owl doing her damnedest to claw his eyes out, during which rather chaotic interlude it’s surprisingly simple for Harry to trip Voldemort off the main dais. Landing on one’s head on a stone floor is liable to break even the most Dark Lord-y of necks. A whole bunch of historians have despaired of making the Battle of Hogwarts sound properly heroic when the Chosen One just tripped the Dark Lord and he broke his own fool neck by landing wrong.  Nonetheless it’s remarkably effective.

The most interesting thing to happen to Harry for the rest of the year is testifying in front of the entire Wizengamot that his godfather is, in point of fact, Not Dead and that the whole thing was an elaborate act for the purpose of fooling Voldemort.

NOW GO READ IT!!!

[torestoreamends]

Mine to Make: Chapter 8

During a visit to Diagon Alley, Albus is reunited with his brother, apologises to Scorpius, and then tries to out himself to the world. He and Scorpius then go and do some investigation at a slightly creepy abandoned house.

Beta’d by @abradystrix.

N.B. This fic is complete on AO3, so binge read away if you want! Here on tumblr I’ll be posting a chapter every day until it’s all done.

Read it on AO3

*

VIII Fire

Scorpius sits at the kitchen table, hunched over the day’s newspaper, trying to keep himself calm. His hands are shaking, and the corner of the paper is crumpled in his grip. His chest has gone all tight and he’s finding it difficult to breathe.

How many times has his dad told him to stop reading the paper? But he hasn’t yet. He can’t. He needs it for work. And even if he didn’t need it, he still wants to know what everyone is saying about him. If he’s going to be subject to the court of public opinion he needs to know what the evidence against him is. But that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt.

He takes a deep breath and turns over from the front page – which features a large copy of his Hogwarts seventh year school photo – and starts reading the story inside.

Following months of speculation, Daily Prophet reporters have uncovered evidence of a Ministry investigation into Scorpius Malfoy, in connection with the disappearance of Albus Severus Potter.

Malfoy, a recent Hogwarts graduate who last month secured a job at the Ministry, has long been a prime suspect in the case, but only now does it seem that the Ministry has begun to take the matter seriously.

New documentation, leaked yesterday from inside the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, shows that Malfoy has been questioned about his knowledge of Potter’s latest movements since commencing his new job. It also shows that the Ministry is now searching areas around Hogwarts, as well as parts of the Wiltshire countryside close to where Malfoy still lives with his father, Draco Malfoy.

Malfoy Sr, a former Death Eater, and his wife Astoria, now deceased, have been the subject of intense speculation since the birth of their son in 2005, with many believing that Scorpius is actually the child of Lord Voldemort. Although Malfoy Sr has denied these rumours, the recent disappearance and subsequent investigation have done nothing to dispel them.

When asked about the investigation, Malfoy Sr made no comment.

At the Ministry of Magic, Harry Potter, Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and father to Albus Potter, also made no comment, although a spokesperson gave a statement on his behalf.

“We strongly deny speculation that our new recruit, Scorpius Malfoy, is under investigation for any criminal activity, including in respect to the disappearance of Albus Potter. We are pleased to have Mr Malfoy working in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, and would like to remind all recent Hogwarts graduates that the Ministry is an excellent place to develop a career.”

Despite this statement, the general public still believe that Malfoy is somehow connected to Potter’s disappearance.

“I think he should be suspended immediately,” said Doris Blexley, 52, of Abbotsbury Hill. “The Ministry shouldn’t be hiring dangerous wizards, especially not ones with such close ties to the Dark Lord. He should be locked up until he tells us where he’s hidden the body.”

‘The story continues on page 35.

He closes his eyes and buries his face in his hands, but not before a tear drips off his chin and splatters on the middle of the news print, blurring the words.

He should be over this by now. It shouldn’t hurt him anymore. He’s heard all this over and over again for more than a year now. It’s just what people say, what people believe. Nothing new. Nothing that’s even true. It shouldn’t feel like this.

But still, the fact that people believe it’s his fault Albus is gone, the fact that people believe the rumours, it aches. People out there, so many people, think the worst of him. It’s almost enough to make him think the worst of himself.

He rests his forehead on the table, not caring if the newsprint stains his skin. He wants to shut the world out and pretend none of this is happening. He wants to pretend that no one knows his name, no one despises his existence. He wants to pretend that he’s just another kid who graduated from Hogwarts earlier in the summer, with his whole hopeful future ahead of him.

If only that were true.

 Scorpius always tries to avoid Diagon Alley, especially on a Saturday, but sometimes it’s impossible. This morning he has no choice but to go through it en route to Gringotts, and it’s utter hell.

It’s a point of pride that he never walks through here in disguise or invisible. If he’s going to be here, he’s going to be seen, no matter what trouble it attracts. But today, even if he wanted to hide himself, he couldn’t. He’s wearing his work robes, and he needs to look like himself so he can deal with the goblins. It’s difficult enough getting them to help with investigations even when he has a valid ID. A disguise could get him banned from the bank forever.

He keeps his head down as he goes through the Leaky Cauldron, and no one bothers him, which is a good start. But it doesn’t last long though. The second he steps out into the sunshine of the main street, people start looking at him, and once they’ve started looking at him they begin to recognise him, and that’s where the trouble really begins.

A woman barges past him, clouting him hard with her bag. It could just be that it’s busy, but Scorpius sees the look of pure disgust that she shoots in his direction. A man with two kids pulls them away from Scorpius, like he’s worried they might catch a disease if they get too close. Yet more people scramble out of his path, and the street seems to clear in front of him, but that just makes him more conspicuous.

Whispers follow him as he walks. A couple of kids run giggling in front of him, throwing glances at him over their shoulder. It must be a game to them, seeing how close they dare get to Albus’s murderer, kidnapper, whatever people think he is.

He bows his head to try and hide a bit more, because he’s tall enough that everyone in the whole street can probably see him right now, especially with the crowd parted around him like it is. It doesn’t help though. Just as he bows his head he feels something splatter through his hair and drip down onto his neck. He exhales slowly, trying not to physically react, even though he wants to shudder, find out what it is, and wipe it away. If he does any of that it’ll just give them the satisfaction.

A couple of people behind him giggle, and he closes his fingers round the handle of his wand. It’s comforting to know that if he wanted to defend himself he could. There are countless things he could do. He could disguise himself, Apparate out of here, turn himself invisible, cast a shield between him and the crowd, even fight them if he had to. He has options. He has the power here, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

Gringotts is just up the street. He can see it now, over the heads of the crowd. The soaring white columns, and the heavy door that will offer him some respite. He’s nearly there, and once he’s there he’ll be safe. He’d rather contend with the goblins than all these people.

He keeps walking. The people up ahead haven’t realised who’s coming, so there’s no path through them. He joins the crowd and feels both less and more vulnerable all at once.

He hugs himself and hunches up, hoping to protect himself at least a little bit. People jostle around him. Someone treads on his toes. A couple more push past like he’s nothing. One person gives him a proper shove that sends him reeling sideways, almost knocking over a couple of barrels outside the apothecary. He apologises to the people standing there and rushes on, moving as fast as he can towards the bank.

More whispers, more stares, more shoves. Someone spits at his feet. Someone else tries to do the same thing and the spit splatters on his shoes.

It’s a relief to reach Gringotts’ door. He rushes through and leans against one of the inside columns, enjoying the cool, dark, quiet empty space. Only then does he allow himself to reach back and get rid of the substance in his hair. It’s thick and goopy, and it only takes a couple of seconds to realise that it’s frogspawn. Someone has thrown frogspawn at him. That’s a new one.

With a sigh he draws his wand and vanishes it, then he gives a sweeping flick to neaten his hair up, and finally gets rid of the spittle from the toe of his shoe. Once that’s done he feels almost human, almost respectable, and he takes a deep breath and draws himself up to his full height before fishing out his ID and approaching the counter.

The goblin perching on the stool behind the counter doesn’t look up straight away. She’s peering down at some paperwork, and doesn’t seem at all interested in serving Scorpius anytime soon. He clears his throat hopefully, and puts his ID down on the counter, but she gets right to the bottom of the page she’s filling out before finally removing her reading glasses and looking up at him.

“Can I help you?”

Her tone is dripping with irritation, and it couldn’t be clearer that Scorpius is causing her a huge inconvenience by being there. Nevertheless, Scorpius gives her a bright smile.

“Hi! I’m here on Ministry business.” He pushes the ID towards her so she can see it.

She gives him a hard look and doesn’t bother to look down at his badge. “And?”

“And,” he says, fumbling in his pocket for the scrap of parchment with Delphi’s name and account number on, “I’d like to trace an account, please. This one. It’s an account belonging to Delphini Black? I can tell you the number...”

The goblin doesn’t take her eyes off him as she clicks her fingers. Nothing appears in front of her, and only then does she look away from him, a small frown of confusion on her face. She clicks her fingers again but still nothing happens.

“Are you sure that’s the correct name?” She asks.

Scorpius nods. “I’m positive... Can you search by the account number instead? It’s...” he glances at the paper. “It’s 456. That’s the vault.”

There’s another snap and this time a file appears on the table in front of the goblin. She opens it up and reads the first line. “Vault 456 belonging to Cygnus Black...” She looks up at Scorpius. “The name and account number do not match. Why is this?”

Scorpius swallows. “I-I’m not sure. I got them from financial records. They should match. I don’t know why they wouldn’t... Is it possible for someone to use someone else’s account? If they’re a family member or something? Old accounts are passed down, aren’t they?”

“This one was closed in 1979,” the goblin says with a tone of finality, but then she pauses and frowns at the page. “But then reactivated in 2015, And has been in regular use since...”

“Is that strange?” Scorpius asks.

“Accounts cannot usually be reactivated,” the goblin says sharply. “Except in special circumstances. It is not strange, but it is unusual.”

Scorpius leans forward, trying to read the file. “So what might the special circumstances be?”

The goblin shrugs. “There are many. A long lost relative with a claim to use the vault, someone thought deceased who is found alive... The special circumstance is not listed here. That is between the account manager and account owner.”

“Can I talk to the account manager?” Scorpius asks.

The goblin almost looks amused. “No. You may not.”

“But-“

“She is away on business and will return in three weeks.”

“Can I not even send her an Owl?” Scorpius asks, casting around for any solution.

“No,” the goblin says flatly. “You may make an appointment for her return if you wish.”

Three weeks is a long time. It might be too long. And knowing the circumstances isn’t that important. He knows who’s using the account and what they’re using it for, and those are the most crucial bits of information. The special circumstances are just a matter of academic interest. He doesn’t need them.

“No,” he says. “That’s fine. I don’t really need to know. There is one thing though. Is the account registered to an address at all? Are you allowed to tell me that?”

The goblin glances down at Scorpius’s Ministry ID, then up at his face, before tutting and looking back at the file. “I suppose I am. The account is registered to Hangleton Hall, Little Hangleton.”

“Can I borrow your quill?” Scorpius asks, with what he hopes is an endearing smile.

The goblin gives him a very long, hard look before handing her quill over.

“Thanks,” Scorpius says brightly. He takes the quill and scribbles the address on his scrap of parchment. “That’s really helpful.”

“Is there anything else you need?” She asks, snapping the file shut.

Scorpius thinks for a second, then shakes his head. “No. An address is a good starting point. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” she says, in a tone that implies Scorpius is dismissed. She clicks her fingers and the file disappears, leaving her free to go back to her paperwork.

Scorpius hesitates by the desk a moment longer, then turns and heads for the doors out of the bank, trying to remember why the name Little Hangleton sounds so familiar to him.

 Albus is asleep when the owl swoops in through the open window and lands on him. In his dreams he feels claws dig into his back, and he jerks awake with a yell, rolling over and patting his hands against his back to try and work out if there’s still anything touching him. The owl takes flight in a flurry of wings, and ends up perching on the edge of his bedside table, hooting reproachfully.

“It was you,” Albus gasps, staring at it. “Why would you sneak up on me like that? I was asleep.”

The owl gives a very unapologetic hoot and sticks its leg out. There’s a morning edition of the Daily Prophet tied to it. Albus has only taken the subscription out because of the Dementor attack, and because he has so much to catch up on. He has no idea what’s going on in the world, and the best way of finding out is the Prophet. There’s also the hope that he’ll find some of his mum’s writing inside. That would be nice.

He unties the paper from the owl’s leg, drops a sickle into the money pouch, and unscrolls the paper as the owl flies away. The front cover flashes up at him, a chaotic riot of adverts, stories, photos, and screaming headlines.

‘St Mungo’s approves new cure for Spattergroit’

‘Unspeakable scandal at the Department of Mysteries’

‘Outcry over proposed closure of Upper Flagley Potions Library’

‘Werewolf activity on the rise, Harry Potter confirms’

The last one catches Albus’s eye and he starts to skim through the article. It’s not as interesting as it sounds, just a short snippet about the werewolves being more active than normal, with a quote from his dad assuring the public that no one is in danger, that the situation is being monitored, and that the Wolfsbane Potion programme is still as effective as ever. He’s just about to skip away from the article and turn the page when a comment right at the bottom catches his eye.

Despite Potter’s insistence that the situation is under control, recent scrutiny of poor decision making within the DMLE casts this into doubt. The Department continues to defend the employment of Scorpius Malfoy, prime suspect in the disappearance of Albus Severus Potter over seven years ago, despite an ongoing investigation.

Albus stares at the words on the page.

Prime suspect. What does that mean?

‘Prime suspect in the disappearance of Albus Severus Potter.’

Does that mean that people think Scorpius is to blame for him leaving? Do they think Scorpius kidnapped him? Killed him? How long has this been going on for?

There’s an ongoing investigation... The Ministry is defending Scorpius’s employment... Is this why Scorpius is stuck in the job he is? People think he shouldn’t be employed at all?

Albus reads the paragraph again, and again, trying to comprehend, but he can’t. None of this goes along with the Scorpius that he knows. None of it makes sense. How it can make sense to anyone is beyond him. Scorpius isn’t suspicious. Scorpius can’t be under investigation. Scorpius especially can’t be under investigation for this, because it has nothing to do with him. This is all Albus.

But it’s just one article. Maybe it was a mistake or something. Maybe it was misphrased. Maybe... Maybe.

Albus turns the page and reads on, but the more he reads, the more he realises that there’s no mistake. There’s nothing explicit or obvious, but scattered throughout the stories are odd little comments, things that make Albus’s heart sink and his blood boil.

There’s another comment about Ministry incompetency in an article about vampires, that Albus can tell has more to it than meets the eye. In an article about wage rises at the Ministry there’s a mention of suspected criminals being part of the staff. And the worst comes from an article about a mysterious disappearance. ‘Let’s hope the son of Voldemort isn’t involved in this one too, or the Ministry will never bother to solve it.’

Albus drops the paper onto the bed and falls back against the headboard, running his fingers through his hair, stunned. It’s everywhere. This is far more than just a mistake. This is some sort of public vendetta against Scorpius. The Prophet hates him, and judging by Albus’s past experiences, if the Prophet hates him then everyone else does too.

He throws his covers off and stumbles to his feet, seized by the sudden urge to fix this. He’s the only one who can, after all. He’s the one who disappeared. If he shows up whole and healthy then they can’t blame Scorpius anymore. Scorpius’s name will be cleared and they can all stop talking about him. He can get on with his life and get everything he deserves.

Everyone hates Scorpius.

It hits Albus again and he grips the back of the chair nearest to him. This has been Scorpius’s life for seven years. Seven years. And it’s all his fault.

He starts getting dressed. He doesn’t know what clothes he’s putting on, and he doesn’t much care. Whatever he wears now it doesn’t matter as long as he’s decent. Except when he looks in the mirror he realises he’s put on last night’s tank top, and he doesn’t want the whole world seeing his scars, not yet. After everything Scorpius has been through that’s horribly selfish, but... not yet.

He pulls the top off and hurls it across the room, then he picks up a soft green button down shirt and puts that on instead. When he looks in the mirror he doesn’t look that much of a mess, but it does bring out his eyes, and his eyes bring out his hair. He looks more like his dad than he has done in a long time, and he’s not ready for that yet either.

Feeling sick with guilt and anger he goes to the bathroom. He slathers salve on his arms, just in case, then he downs a bottle of his potion and watches in the mirror as his eyes fade from bright green to muddy brown. He feels like a coward, but his chest is also a bit looser and he can breathe. On the way to the front door he grabs the only hat he owns, an old knitted hat in Slytherin green. Even though it’s the height of summer he jams it on his head and Apparates to Diagon Alley before he can have any second thoughts.

He lands by the bins at the back of the Leaky Cauldron and goes storming through the wall onto the street. It’s packed with people, and the second he sees them all he balks and flattens his back against the wall. He buries his face in his shaking hands and gulps in several deep breaths, trying to steady himself and remind himself that it’s okay. He’s in disguise. No one knows who he is.

“Are you okay sweetheart?” He feels a hand on his arm and looks up to see an older lady peering at him through her spectacles.

He nods quickly. “Yes. Y-yes. I-I am. Thank you. I’m just... I don’t like crowds much.”

“Where are you off to?” The lady asks. “I can come with you if you like.”

“Oh.” Albus smiles at her. “No. No, that’s okay. I’ll be alright. I don’t want to hold you up. I’ll just take my time, and...”

“Are you sure, dear?”

“Sure,” Albus says. “I promise.”

She pats his arm. “Alright then. Take it slowly. You’ll be okay. It’s quieter up past the bank.”

“Thank you,” he says. “Thank you,” then he screws up his courage and sets off up the street.

He weaves his way through the crowds, keeping his head down. The hat is itchy in the heat, and there are already beads of sweat running down his forehead, but he can’t take it off. Whenever someone looks at him for too long he pulls it down lower, trying to make sure that none of his hair is poking out. He feels as though the whole world can see through his disguise. Everyone on this street knows his face, surely someone must have recognised him by now?

In his panic, he walks straight into a woman carrying an empty cage and several bags of shopping, and she drops the cage, which goes clattering onto the cobbles. He goes scrambling after it as it rolls, snatching it up and shoving it back at her.

“Sorry,” he says. “Sorry, I didn’t see you.”

“That’s al-“ She stops, staring at him. “Hang on. You look familiar. Are you-“

“I’m no one,” Albus says. “I assure you. I’m no one.”

He makes a run for it.

As he weaves through the crowd he glances back, and he can see the woman talking to another shopper, pointing after him. He feels sick. His breath starts to come in snatches, made even worse by the fact that he’s half running down the street now. His chest is so tight that he can’t get any air in. The world closes in and he knows the message is being passed down the street right now. Albus Severus Potter is here. He’s going to be found and he’s not ready. He’s not ready. He’s not ready.

A familiar bright orange shop looms up ahead. Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes. In his panicked brain it looks like a safe haven. Even though there are people he knows in there – James will probably be working today – he doesn’t care. Better James see him than the whole world catch him. He’d rather just be with his brother. He’s more ready for that than everyone. Maybe he can hide in there until the storm passes. At least until he can breathe again.

He stumbles up the steps and in through the door, where he leans against the wall for a moment and tries to calm down. It’s almost working but then someone tuts at him for blocking the exit and he apologises and goes reeling further into the shop, looking for somewhere to stand, somewhere quiet, anywhere.

The shop is full of people, and there are tables and stands everywhere. There’s no spare inch of wall where he can stand out of the way, so he weaves further into the shop, leaning on the tables for support.

He knows the Defence Against the Dark Arts section will be quiet, or the staffroom at the back. He’s been through there before, of course he has, he’s family. If he went in there now someone might try to stop him, but he could just tell them who he is. They might recognise him. Scorpius did. His mum did.

There are several people browsing the Dark Arts section when he passes through the curtain. One of them he recognises, and he thinks they might be an Auror. He doesn’t want to hang around anywhere there’s an Auror, so he ducks his head and rushes past, heading for the very back of the shop. He doesn’t pause when he gets there, he pushes aside the second curtain and goes rushing into the back room, where he finds his brother drinking a cup of tea and running through a stock report.

“You can’t come in here. This isn’t a-“ James looks up and freezes, eyes widening. “Fuck,” he breathes.

“James,” Albus gasps, hunching over, clutching his chest.

James sets his tea aside and drops the stock report on the floor. “Are you okay? You can’t come back and die on me.” He rushes across and takes hold of Albus’s arm, guiding him over to the chair.

“Not used... to all these people,” Albus manages.

James rubs his back. “Breathe, Albus. Breathing is good.” He hovers by Albus’s side, seeming very uncertain. “I can make tea. I’ll make tea. You... sit there and breathe.”

It’s such a James way of dealing with the situation that Albus almost bursts into tears on top of everything else. He just about manages to keep it together though, and in the quiet stillness of the back room he gets his breathing under control by the time the kettle has boiled.

“Have a drink,” James advises, pressing the mug into his hands.

“Thanks,” Albus whispers. He takes a sip and pulls a face. “It’s got sugar in.”

“Sugar is good for the soul,” James says, sitting down on the floor and staring up at Albus. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

Albus takes a long drink of the tea and sets the mug down next to James’s. “I needed to find Scorpius.” He lifts his head and gets a proper look at his brother for the first time in seven years. There’s a cleanness to him that was never there before. He looks put together. He looks properly grown up, Albus realises. He’s clean shaven, his light brown hair is neatly cut, and his magenta robes are perfectly pressed. But despite it all, he’s still so James that it hurts: that sparkle in his eyes, alongside a new kindness that Albus has never seen before but that he normally associates with their mum.

“What’s Scorpius doing here?” James asks. “Scorpius doesn’t come to Diagon Alley apparently. Not if he can avoid it.”

“He had to go to Gringotts for work. Why doesn’t he come here?”

James looks at him. “How often do you read the papers?”

Albus swallows. “I-I read them this morning. That’s why I wanted to... I need to find him and say sorry. But there are so many people around, and I thought someone might have recognised me, and it all got a bit much...”

“So you came to hide here.” James nods. “Is that how seeing you works? You drop by when it suits you?” There’s a twist of bitterness in his voice that leaves Albus feeling like he’s been hit.

“I didn’t mean to-“ He swallows and stares at James. “I’m sorry.”

James picks up his stock report and gets to his feet. “I’m sure you are. But it’s been seven years, Albus. Sorry might not be enough after all this time.”

Albus stares at him, utterly stunned. “I don’t know what else to-“

“You don’t know what it was like without you,” James says, stopping and looking at him. “You have no idea. Mum was inconsolable for months, Albus. Dad never stopped looking for you. He hasn’t had a day off in years because he doesn’t want to miss a chance to find you. Lily cried herself to sleep every day after you left. Even though the rumours clearly aren’t true, Scorpius’s life is still in tatters. And here I am, trying to hold the whole mess together, and wishing I could re-say every single word I ever said to you, like it might make a difference, like you wouldn’t have been selfish enough to run off no matter what your life had been like.”

Albus opens his mouth to try and speak, but nothing comes out, so he just makes a strangled little noise and buries his face in his hands, not sure what he wants to do. He wants to cry. He wants to turn and run and never come back. He also desperately wants to hug his brother and drink his tea and keep hearing his voice, no matter how much the words feel like they’re wounding him.

James runs a hand through his hair. “It’s been really shit, Albus. Really really shit.”

“I know,” Albus says in a very small voice, not sure if that’s the right thing to say.

“If you weren’t my little brother I’d probably hex you right now,” James says. He slaps the stock report down on a nearby table and turns round in a circle. “But you are my little brother. So I’ll restrain myself until further notice.” He walks back to Albus and crouches down on the floor again. “Do you think they did spot you?”

Albus shakes his head. “I don’t know. I-I don’t... I hoped they might not have recognised me because of the disguise, but...”

James snorts. “What disguise?” He reaches up and tugs Albus’s bobble hat off. “Is that what you’re calling this ridiculous thing? It’s the middle of summer, Albus. How did you manage to hide for seven years?”

“I changed my eyes too,” Albus mutters.

“Oh,” James says, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Because that makes all the difference.” He rolls his eyes. “If you wanted a real disguise you should have come to us.”

“Why would I have come to you?” Albus asks. “You’d have turned me in.”

James shrugs. “I’m not going to turn you in now. Maybe I wouldn’t have done it then, either. Here.” He gets to hide feet and crosses to one of the shelves, reaching into an open box and digging around inside. Eventually he pulls something out and tosses it across to Albus. “Chameleon Comb. For your hair. So you don’t have to boil to death under that hat. You’re welcome.”

Albus picks up the comb and examines it. “Thank you?”

James bows. “Least I can do for my little brother.”

“Your little brother who you hate,” Albus says softly, turning the comb over in his hands. “You don’t have to-“

“I do not hate you,” James protests, spinning round to look at him. “No. That’s utter slander. I love you. I’m also, I think justifiably, pissed off at you. That’s not the same as hatred.”

“Isn’t it?” Albus asks, picking his tea mug up and taking another sip.

“Not even a little bit,” James says. He leans against the shelf and folds his arms. “You’re a selfish git, but so was I, so I can’t exactly talk. I’m mad at you for how much you’ve hurt everyone, but given that you’re in here terrified because someone outside might have seen you, I suspect that you’re also hurting. There’s far more to all this than meets the eye so there’s no point hating you. If you think I hate you then we’re right back at square one really, aren’t we?”

“I suppose so,” Albus says, a little bit stunned.

“Good, then there we go.” He pushes off the shelf and comes over to Albus. “Does Scorpius know you’re in here?”

Albus shakes his head. “We said we’d meet up but not where.”

James tuts. “You two are useless.”

“I saw the papers,” Albus says. “I saw what they’re saying about him. I need to find him and apologise, or... I don’t know what. I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know if I can. But I couldn’t wait.”

“So you’re still as reckless as you were the day you ran away then,” James says with a grin. He ruffles Albus’s hair. “Will you be alright going outside?”

“No idea,” Albus murmurs. “It’s terrifying. I don’t want everyone to know I’m here yet.”

“But Scorpius knows,” James says. “Mum knows. I know. Aren’t we the hardest people? Surely the world doesn’t matter.”

“They’ll call Dad,” Albus explains. “And that I’m really afraid of.”

“Dad was the reason you ran away in the first place,” James says, but Albus isn’t sure whether there’s a hint of a question in there too. No one knows even now exactly why he ran, no one apart from himself.

“It was mostly Dad,” he admits. “But it was school too. And I didn’t always get on with you, which didn’t help. It was a lot of things. A lot of not fitting in. I didn’t want to disappoint you all anymore.”

“So you ran away and broke our hearts instead,” James says, nodding.

“I thought I was doing you a favour,” Albus mutters, avoiding his gaze.

James snorts. “Has anyone explained to you what a favour is, Albus? It’s a nice thing you do for someone that you don’t ask any repayment for. It’s not disappearing for seven years and frightening the life out of them.”

“I didn’t realise that...” Albus sighs. “I thought you’d all be better off without me. I still think that a little bit.”

James shakes his head. “Albus...” He puts a hand on Albus’s arm and looks right at him. “It was difficult, I get that. You were unhappy, you were struggling. I didn’t see it at the time, but looking back it was glaringly obvious; I was just too oblivious to see it. But you could have talked about it instead. You had options. We’re your family. As hard as it may have been to see, we loved you. We still do. Desperately.”

“Talking is hard though,” Albus says. “Talking to Dad is hardest of all.”

“He never talked to you. He just sort of exploded at you.”

“Right.” Albus fiddles with his hat. “I still don’t know how to... It was easier to disappear than to keep trying and failing, as stupid as it sounds.”

“Nothing like a seven year disappearance to start a conversation,” James says lightly, and Albus smiles.

“It might have been a bit dramatic, but you know how I felt now, don’t you?”

James shrugs and digs his hands in his pockets. “You were desperately unhappy. You were lonely. You were lost. You were scared.”

“Most of it’s still true,” Albus murmurs. “Except now I feel guilty too. Very, very...”

“If it helps at all,” James says softly, squeezing his arm. “I forgive you. And I hope you’ll forgive me too.”

“What am I forgiving you for?” Albus asks, frowning.

“My part in all the bullshit that led to you running away,” James says simply.

“I do. Forgive you. Of course I do. I... I missed you so much.”

James ruffles his hair. “You too, little brother. You too.”

Albus isn’t quite sure who starts it, whether it’s him or James, but next thing he knows he’s hugging his brother tighter than he ever has before and it feels wonderful. It feels like something has fallen into place, and a little of his fear has melted away.

“I love you,” he mumbles into his brother’s shoulder.

“Everyone loves me,” James replies, but then he pushes Albus right to arms length and looks him in the eye. “I love you too. You may be a selfish little prick but you’re my selfish little prick.”

Albus smiles. “Thanks. I think.” He picks up his mug and drinks down the rest of his tea. “I-I think I should go and see if I can find Scorpius.”

“Can you handle it?” James asks. “Will you be okay out there?”

Albus shrugs. “No idea, but I can’t stay in here.” He gets to his feet. “Scorpius has been dealing with this for seven years. I think I can repay him by being terrified for a couple more minutes.”

“If it gets bad come back though,” James says, also getting up.

Albus nods. “Thank you. A-and... If you could avoid mentioning this to George and Ron, and particularly Dad, that would be amazing.”

James picks up the Chameleon Comb and starts attacking Albus’s hair with it. “Your secret is safe with me.”

 Albus leaves the shop with bright pink hair. According to James, you can never tell what colour a Chameleon Comb is going to make it go, but Albus doesn’t believe him. He knows it’s payback, and he knows he deserves it, so he doesn’t argue about it too much, although he does threaten to hex James, who just sing-songs that pink hair is character building.

Albus jams the bobble hat back onto his head and heads up the street towards Gringotts. He’s not sure the disguise is any better now. Surely the pink is like a beacon and everyone’s more likely to notice him. But it seems to do the opposite. Fewer people look in his direction, and he guesses it’s because most members of the general public want nothing to do with a man who goes out on a summer day with pink hair and a bobble hat.

When he gets to the bank doors, Albus pauses on the step, staring up at the inscription there. Even though he’s not disguised because he wants to steal from the bank, the words still make Albus feel uneasy. Surely goblins can see through things like Chameleon Combs and basic colour change potions. Would they turn him in?

He’s still dithering when the door opens and a white blond someone wearing sky blue robes comes rushing out and walks straight into him.

“Scorpius!” Albus says, taking hold of his arms to steady him. “I was looking for you.”

Scorpius regains his balance and stumbles back a step, staring at Albus. “What are you doing here? Why are you wearing a bobble hat in the middle of summer? That’s really- Dumbledore, do you have pink hair?”

Albus pulls the hat down on his head. “I ran into James and he decided to help me with my disguise.”

Scorpius grins and takes hold of the bobble, plucking the hat off of Albus’s head. He blinks. “Okay, that’s very pink.”

“My dear brother,” Albus sighs, trying to take the bobble hat back, but Scorpius holds it out of reach.

“No, I like the pink. And it’s far too hot for you to wear this.” He puts the hat in the pocket of his robes. “Did you say you saw James?”

Albus nods. “I thought someone recognised me,” He gestures down the street. “So I hid in Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, and James happened to also be in my hiding place.”

“How is he?” Scorpius asks.

Albus looks down at his feet. “He’s really mad at me, and he called me a little prick, but he also said he loves me, so... I think it’s okay.”

Scorpius smiles. “That sounds good.” He rubs Albus’s arm, and Albus looks up at him, all the guilt flooding back as he takes in the brightness of Scorpius’s eyes, so full of hope and happiness despite everything.

“Scorpius,” Albus murmurs. “I... I read the paper this morning.”

Scorpius’s face falls. “Did you?”

Albus nods and licks his lips. “I... I did.”

“You shouldn’t believe anything you read in there,” Scorpius says, dropping his hands to his sides. “It’s trash. I mean some of the stories are alright, and obviously the Quidditch coverage is good. But they say a lot of things that you shouldn’t pay attention to, and-“

“Have they been saying that stuff about you all along?” Albus asks. “Have they been blaming you for me disappearing?”

Scorpius gives a tiny twitch of a shrug. “It comes and goes. I think it’s fashionable, sometimes, to say-“

“Scorpius.” Albus stares up at him. He’s lit up by the sunlight, face glowing, hair a halo round his head. He looks beautiful but he also looks sad and defeated, like Albus knowing about all this has deflated him a bit.

“It’s okay,” Scorpius murmurs. “I was hoping you wouldn’t find out. You’ve got enough problems without...”

“But it’s my fault,” Albus says. “If I hadn’t run away, they wouldn’t have-“

Scorpius sighs. “There have always been rumours, Albus. Always. Ever since I was born people have thought the worst of me. Now they just have proof.”

“But it’s a lie!” Albus shouts. A couple of pigeons flutter up off the steps next to them, and a couple of people in the crowd nearby glance up at them, curious to know what the shouting is about. When they see Scorpius they do a double take, and he waves at them, wiggling his fingers. They shake their heads and hurry away.

“There is no proof,” Albus says, considerably quieter now. “I’m alive. It’s all made up. And you’re not the son of Voldemort or any of that crap. You’re the son of Draco and Astoria Malfoy.”

“Which is bad enough for most people,” Scorpius mutters.

“People are idiots,” Albus says. He reaches out to take Scorpius’s hand but thinks better of it. Scorpius is all hunched up right now, defensive, guarded, like he doesn’t want to be touched.

“What if people are right?” He asks.

“But they’re not,” Albus says. “You’re... you’re Scorpius. You’re good and kind and beautiful, and I don’t just mean physically, I mean your heart too. You shine. You’re the best person I know, and I wouldn’t be a fraction of the person I am without you in my life.”

Scorpius gestures to the street behind Albus. “All these people hate me, Albus. The entire country can’t be wrong.”

Albus looks over his shoulder, then turns all the way round to face the crowd. “They’ve been lied to,” he says. “All of them. They think they’re right because they don’t know the truth.” He glances back at Scorpius. “And the truth is that you’re incredible. You’re smart and talented and absolutely brilliant. Life has thrown as much shit at you as it can and you’re still you. You’re still shining.”

Albus’s heart is pounding in his chest. He’s standing up here on these steps in front of a crowded street. Anyone could see him, anyone could recognise him. There could be photos on the way to the Prophet right now, but he doesn’t care anymore. Faced with Scorpius, Scorpius who’s been tormented his whole life by stupid rumours and vitriol, none of it matters. Scorpius makes Albus feel a hundred times braver than he really is.

“Listen!” He shouts, raising his voice to address the entire street. “Hey, listen to me!”

People nearby look up at him, and Scorpius makes a tiny noise of panic.

“Albus!” He squeaks. “Albus, stop. What are you doing?”

“Clearing your name,” Albus says, grinning. He feels manic, as high on adrenaline as he does during a race. He’s buzzing, and he knows this is the right thing to do, even though it’s ridiculous and stupid. This is what he has to do.

“This is Scorpius Malfoy,” he yells, pointing at Scorpius. “Yes, that Scorpius. And he’s not the person you think he is. He’s not a murderer, or a kidnapper, or... or anything. He’s the best person I’ve ever met. He’s far too good for me, and far too good for all of you. Whatever you think of him... stop.” He glances back at Scorpius. “My name is Albus Severus Potter, and I’m telling you to stop.”

He faces the street again, looking at all the people now watching him, curious about the commotion. “I’m here. I’m alive. A-and I’m in love with this man. And if any of you had any sense then you’d love him too because he’s… He’s the best.”

“Albus,” Scorpius hisses, face bright pink, hiding behind his hands.

“Scorpius Malfoy is amazing, so leave him the fuck alone!” Albus’s voice rises at the end of the sentence, so it rings down the now silent street. For a moment there’s a stunned stillness, then utter chaos breaks out.

“It’s Albus Potter!”

“No it’s not. He’s some delusional freak.”

“But that is Scorpius Malfoy.”

“The son of Voldemort!”

“Albus Potter!”

“Quick, someone get a picture.”

“Call the Prophet.”

“Call the Aurors!”

“What have you done?” Scorpius asks, rushing down the steps and grabbing Albus’s arm. “What was that?”

Albus shakes his head. “I don’t know! I wanted to- I don’t know, Scorpius.”

A flashbulb goes off, and they both turn to see a camera being waved above the crowd.

“Shit,” Albus mutters.

“We need to get out of here,” Scorpius says, seizing his hand. “Albus, come on.”

“Where are we going?” Albus asks.

“I don’t think it matters!” Scorpius says, squeezing both his hands. “We just need to go. They’re taking photos, they’re going to-“

“Someone grab him!”

A small group break free of the crowd and come storming up the steps towards them.

“I’m going to Apparate,” Scorpius yells, then he twists sideways, pulling Albus with him, and they turn into crushing darkness, then blinding sunshine.

Albus loses his balance when he lands and goes tumbling onto the ground, pulling Scorpius with him. They end up in a heap, lying on the sun-browned grass of a village green, the blue sky above them, and a pair of very surprised ducks waddling away towards their pond, flapping and quacking.

“What did you do?” Scorpius asks, scrambling upright and staring down at Albus. His cheeks are still red, and he looks flustered, his hair a mess and his robes askew. “What were you thinking?”

Albus sits up and shrugs. “I don’t know. I-I wanted to tell everyone... I don’t think I did think?”

“Clearly not!” Scorpius says, running a hand through his hair and turning around on the spot. “Albus everyone knows now. Someone got a photo of us. Of you. You’re going to be all over the paper. You- you’re such an idiot.”

Albus pulls his knees up to his chest and looks up at Scorpius. “Are you mad at me?”

Scorpius spreads his arms and makes a noise that sounds like an explosion of confusion, frustration, and a hundred other things. “Life with you is never going to be boring, is it?”

Albus rests his chin on his knees and shrugs. “I suppose not.”

Scorpius spins around again, then lets out a high-pitched, hysterical giggle. “Did you just tell the whole world that I’m brilliant and that you’re in love with me?”

Albus lifts his head and looks at him. “It’s a bit of a blur, but I think I might have done.”

Scorpius buries his face in his hands and makes a squeaking noise. “Dumbledore, I love it. I love you. I- You’re such an idiot.” Then he drops down onto his knees in front of Albus and kisses him hard.

It’s so unexpected that Albus makes a noise of surprise before managing to grip Scorpius’s shoulders and kiss back. When they part he falls back, catching himself with his hands stretched behind him, spreading his legs out across the straw-like, dried grass.

“Your hair’s still pink,” Scorpius says, sitting down between his legs. “You’re going to be in the paper declaring your love to me with pink hair.”

Something inside Albus bursts. The bubble of fear and anxiety that has been swelling in his heart not just this morning but over the whole week – over the last seven years – pops, and suddenly there’s so much space inside him, so much freedom. Everyone knows now. Everyone has seen him. There’s no hiding anymore. It’s over.

He starts to laugh. A tiny little giggle breaks out of him, but it builds quickly and he can’t stop it. Soon he’s properly laughing, his whole body shaking, and he can’t breathe. He falls back onto the grass and rolls onto his side, curling up into a foetal position and clutching his stomach as he howls.

And then Scorpius is laughing too, lips twitching first into a smile, then into a grin, until he’s doubled over, hands braced on his knees, cackling. Albus looks up to see tears streaming down Scorpius’s face, and that just makes him laugh harder. He crawls across the grass and pats Scorpius on the side, then collapses back onto the ground and covers his face with his hand as he laughs and laughs and laughs.

It takes a while for them to calm down, and when they do they stay there on the grass. They lie side by side in the middle of the village green, staring up at the jewel bright sky, fingers brushing together. There’s undoubtedly turmoil elsewhere, words being written, photos being printed, rumours flying, but here they’re alone with just the ducks for company, in a Muggle village, as far as they could possibly be from the wizarding world and its gossip.

“I can’t believe you just did that,” Scorpius murmurs, turning his head to look at Albus.

Albus shakes his head. “Neither can I.”

Scorpius smiles. “You’ve got pink hair and brown eyes. No one’s going to believe you.”

“I don’t think I care,” Albus says, squeezing his hand.

Scorpius reaches across and brushes a finger down Albus’s cheek, then he leans in and kisses him. “I love you, you ridiculous pink-haired idiot with a death wish.”

Albus rests his forehead against Scorpius’s and closes his eyes. “I don’t deserve it, but I’ll never stop being grateful.”

Scorpius brushes his fingers through Albus’s bright pink hair, and they listen to a car rush down the road beside the green, the ducks quack and splash in the distance, and the stir of a breeze through the solitary oak tree.

“Where are we?” Albus asks finally. He sits up and looks around. “I’ve never been here before.”

Scorpius sits up too, brushing bits of dried grass out of his hair and off his robes. “Unless I’ve done an absolutely atrocious Apparition job, we should be in a place called Little Hangleton.”

“Okay,” Albus says. “And why are we in Little Hangleton?”

Scorpius gets to his feet and offers Albus a hand up. “Because this is where Delphi’s Gringotts account is registered. We’re going investigating.”

“This is where Delphi lives?” Albus asks, taking Scorpius’s hand and getting up. He looks around with more curiosity now. “But it’s so... it’s so Muggle. Anyway, why do we need to be in the place where Delphi’s bank account is registered? That makes it sound like we’re investigating her...”

Scorpius looks Albus dead in the eye. “We are.”

Albus frowns. “But Delphi’s not-“

Scorpius raises a hand to stop him. “Albus.”

Albus closes his mouth and looks at Scorpius, waiting.

Scorpius bows his head. “Look, I know she’s your best friend. If you don’t feel comfortable coming with me I understand. But I have to do this, Albus.”

Albus shuffles his feet on the ground and considers. “What exactly are you investigating her for?”

“I’ve been looking at the league’s financial records with my dad,” Scorpius says. “We found some weird names there. Lots of um... lots of names of former Death Eaters. So we looked for connections between them, and we found that they all led back to Delphi’s account. Delphini Black-“

“Black?” Albus asks, eyebrows raising. “I didn’t know that was her surname. I didn’t even know she had a surname.” He digs his hands into his pockets. “And she’s a good person, she’s not a- you know. So why would she have all those accounts linked with her?”

Scorpius spreads his hands. “That’s what I’m here to find out.” He pulls a scrap of parchment from his pocket. “I went to Gringotts earlier to ask about the account. They said it’s not officially in Delphi’s name, it’s under the name Cygnus Black, but this is the address it’s registered to.” He holds the parchment out for Albus to read, and Albus squints at Scorpius’s scrawl.

“Hangleton House, Little Hangleton.” He looks at Scorpius. “So we’re going to find this Hangleton House?”

“And see what we can find out about Delphi, Cygnus, any of this.”

Albus considers for a couple of seconds, trying to decide whether he’s happy to help investigate Delphi. He’s hardly the least biased party, but now he’s here he finds that he’s curious. Delphi has always been very private, but so has he so he’s never questioned it, except he realises now that he’d like to know more about her. Seeing her home would be fascinating. And if he can help find evidence to clear her name of any connection with Death Eaters then he should.

“Alright,” he says, nodding. “I’ll come. Where is it?”

Scorpius points across the green, down the high street, and off towards an ornate set of gates just visible in the distance, set on a bend in the road. “I think it might be through there.”

The gate is padlocked when they reach it, the hinges rusted, curls of ivy clinging to the iron filigree. Scorpius glances around to check the coast is clear before he draws his wand and taps it on the padlock, which springs open. It takes a bit of force to finally get the gate open, but Albus eventually breaks past the rust and clinging leaves, and gestures for Scorpius to lead the way inside.

“It doesn’t look very inhabited,” Scorpius murmurs, as they set off up the overgrown driveway. “Does it?”

Albus shakes his head, looking around at the bright banks of rhododendron that are invading the path. Wild flowers grow in the centre of the dirt track, along with strangling, tangled weeds. The trees bow inwards, casting the drive into shadow.

“I don’t think anyone’s been here for a while,” Albus mutters.

“If they have then they aren’t very keen on gardening,” Scorpius says.

Albus smiles. “Delphi’s been away for a year. Could that explain all this?”

Scorpius shrugs and brushes a hand over the delicate petals of a wild rose bush. “Places like this are expensive to run. If you had enough money to live in a fancy manor, wouldn’t you make sure someone was taking care of the grounds for you while you were away?”

“Even I had a housekeeper,” Albus concedes.

“Exactly.”

They keep going up the drive until they round a corner and the trees to their right disappear, leaving a view down the valley. The high street is just away to the right, below them now. There’s a little church down there, and a tiny graveyard that spreads out beside the river. It’s a beautiful area, leafy and green, surrounded by soaring, forested hills.

“I can see why you’d want to live here though,” Albus says. “Look at that view. This would be an amazing place to go flying.”

Scorpius nudges him. “Is that all you think about these days?” He asks. “Flying?”

Albus nudges him back. “And you. Flying and you.”

Scorpius grins. “I like that answer.”

They turn away from the view and look at the house, which is towering over them now. There’s no word to describe it aside from derelict. It looks deserted. Some of the windows are smashed, the brickwork is crumbling, and there are tiles missing from the roof of one of the towers, which must have been blown down by a storm and never replaced. Climbing roses and ivy and honeysuckle are running rampant over the walls, even clambering in through the broken windows. What must once have been a grand manor house is now in a state of disrepair. It almost looks sad.

“I really hope Delphi doesn’t live here,” Albus says softly. “It doesn’t look safe...”

“This wasn’t what I was expecting,” Scorpius agrees. “It’s abandoned. I doubt we’ll find anything here.”

“We might.” Albus goes over to the front entrance, a big door covered with peeling black paint and a single tarnished golden door knob in the centre. The steps leading up to it are crumbling and weathered, but they don’t feel unsafe as Albus climbs them and tries the front door.

He’s barely touched the knob when the door swings inward.

“Scorpius,” he calls, glancing over his shoulder. “It’s open. Do you think we should go inside?”

Scorpius hesitates, then comes over and peers into the dark house. “I’m not sure... I know spells to make it safe, but... there’s probably nothing in there.”

Albus smirks at him. “Are you scared? It’s just a deserted house, Scorpius. There’s nothing in there that can hurt you. Just rats and ivy.”

Scorpius shakes his head. “Not... not scared. I don’t think. But it feels weird. It feels wrong.”

Albus stands very still, opening up all his senses, trying to work out what Scorpius means, but he gets nothing. It just smells a bit musty and looks a bit dark.

“I think it’s okay,” Albus says, glancing at him.

Scorpius purses his lips and twists his hands together. “I feel like we’re being watched. I don’t like it here.”

Albus smiles. “It’s all those rats.” He puts a hand on Scorpius’s arm. “Come on, we’ll stick together. Have a poke around and then go and get ice cream somewhere. There might be a place in the village.”

Scorpius inhales and pauses for a moment before nodding. “Okay. Okay. I’m probably just being stupid. Let’s go inside.”

They nudge the door further open and step into the cool shade of the entrance hall. Only now they’re inside does Albus understand what Scorpius had meant about the atmosphere. There’s something dark and depressing about this place, and his neck prickles as they move down the hall. He closes his hand round his wand in his pocket and glances over his shoulder to check that the doorway is clear, which it is.

Scorpius has his wand out completely and has lit it. He’s now waving it towards the ceiling, mouthing complicated spells that Albus hopes will shore up the crumbling plasterwork. The wand movements paired with the light make shadows dance back and forth across the ceiling, throwing different patches of the hall into complete blackness as Scorpius casts. It means that Albus can’t quite see what’s going on in all four corners of the hall at once, and that makes him nervous.

He draws his wand and casts Lumos for himself. When he holds his wand steady he can see the whole passage, and there’s nothing there. There’s only a dusty carpet, a painting on the wall of a family of three, and peeling paper on the walls.

Albus goes over to the painting and shines his wand at it. It’s definitely a Muggle painting because no one is moving. Everyone in it looks severe and serious, wearing clothes that he assumes must be from the 1930s. Judging by the amount of jewellery glittering round the necks of the lone woman, and the large watches on the mens’ wrists, they must be rich. It reminds him a little of the portraits he’s seen of Scorpius’s family, the hand of the father on the son’s shoulder while the mother stands nearby and looks suitably impressive and beautiful.

“Do you think they lived here?” Albus asks, gesturing to the painting.

Scorpius stops staring at the ceiling and glances at him. “Undoubtedly. Does it say who they are?”

Albus shakes his head. There’s a gold plaque beneath the painting where the names presumably should be, but it’s blank, like it’s been wiped clean somehow and the engraving erased.

“Strange for a Black family house to have a Muggle painting in it,” Scorpius says, frowning at the picture. “They’ve always been the purest of Purebloods on the whole...”

“Maybe this belonged to one of the ones that was less pure?” Albus suggests.

“Maybe.” Scorpius shrugs and directs his wand to the stairs. “Shall we go up? We can start in the bedrooms and then work down to the drawing room and whatever else is down here.”

Albus nods. “Good plan.”

The stairs creak as they climb. It’s brighter on the upper floor, thanks to a long crack in the roof that’s letting the sunlight stream through. Albus Noxes his wand but doesn’t put it away. Beside him, Scorpius is casting spells again, this time on both floor and ceiling.

Every step is cautious. Even with Scorpius’s spells in place, Albus doesn’t entirely trust the floor. He keeps a hand on the wall as he makes his way to the first room on the corridor and nudges the door open. The second he does, something starts flapping around inside, and Albus jumps back and closes it again, heart racing.

“Scorpius, there’s something in there.”

Scorpius lowers his wand and comes over to stand behind Albus. “What is it?”

“Well how am I supposed to know?” Albus whispers, high-pitched with the fear that’s been building ever since he got in here. “I heard noises.”

“Animal noises?” Scorpius asks.

”Flapping,” Albus says. “It’s probably a bird, but what if it’s not?”

Scorpius grips his wand tighter, looks Albus in the eye, then flings the door open.

Instantly a big black bird takes flight and starts flapping around the room, wings beating on the walls and ceiling. There’s a hole in the roof, but the bird doesn’t seem to be able to find its way through. It takes a minute for it to settle on the bed and glare at Albus and Scorpius with a beady black eye.

“It’s a crow,” Scorpius says, but Albus shakes his head.

“No. It’s an Augurey.” He steps into the room and moves slowly towards the bird. “Delphi thinks they’re fascinating,” he says. “I think they’re her favourite animal.” He crouches down at eye level with the Augurey, which blinks at him and then opens its beak. It emits a sharp, mournful cry that pierces Albus like a physical pain and brings tears to his eyes. Behind him he hears Scorpius gasp.

“What was that?” Scorpius asks, and Albus looks round to see him clutching his heart. “It hurt.”

“They cry,” Albus says. “People used to believe it was when they could sense death, but...”

Scorpius swallows. “But?”

“But it’s just rain. They know when it’s going to rain.” Albus reaches out a hand towards the Augurey, which blinks at him again, then takes flight, fluttering straight up and disappearing through the hole in the roof, leaving the two of them alone.

Scorpius exhales in a shaky stream. “I don’t think I like Augureys.”

“They’re interesting,” Albus says, staring upwards at the hole. “I think they’re misunderstood, a bit like us really... I’ve never actually met one in person before.”

“Well I’m glad you’ve had an educational experience,” Scorpius says. “Can we please go now? There’s nothing in here, Albus.”

Albus looks around the room and realises he’s right. Aside from the bed and an empty wardrobe with one door hanging off it’s hinges the room is completely bare. If they’re going to find anything interesting in this house, it won’t be in here.

“Okay,” he says. “Why don’t we split up? You check the rooms on this side of the corridor; I’ll do the other side. That way we’ll be done quicker and we can leave.”

Scorpius hesitates. He looks torn between the desire to stay together and the desire to leave sooner. But after a moment of indecision, he nods. “Alright. Maybe we can check in after every room? Just in case. And call me if you find anything.”

Albus nods. “I promise.”

They go back into the corridor and face their respective doors, side by side. Albus’s heart is racing, all his senses are on edge. Every creak of the floorboards makes him jump, and every few seconds he glances at the stairs, just to double check that no one is standing there watching them.

“Ready?” Albus whispers, trying to inject a confidence he doesn’t feel into his voice.

“No,” Scorpius replies.

Albus gives him a shaky smile and squeezes his hand. “Good luck. See you in a minute.”

He releases Scorpius and strides forward, throwing the door open in one go because he knows that if he doesn’t he’ll never get it open. He holds his wand ahead of him as he storms into the room, but there’s no one and nothing in there. It’s a bathroom, with a porcelain, gold-footed tub, a toilet, and a sink. The mirror on the wall is cracked, and when Albus looks in it he sees a kaleidoscope of his own pink-haired, brown-eyed self staring back at him. He also notices a door in the wall behind him, which presumably leads through to the next room, so he turns and shoves it open before he has the chance to lose heart.

The next room is another bedroom, much bigger than the one with the Augurey in it, but covered with ivy, which has grown in through a broken window. There’s a four poster bed with tendrils growing up three of the posts, and a blanket of leaves for a bedspread. It must have been untouched for years, and as Albus picks his way across the overgrown floor, a pair of mice run skittering to their hole and disappear.

“Nothing yet,” Albus calls, as he steps back onto the landing.

“I’ve got some papers,” Scorpius replies. “I’ll be a minute, you keep going.”

“Delphi’s papers?” Albus asks, stepping towards the door Scorpius is behind.

“Not sure. They’ve got really weird writing on them – runes but not ones I’ve seen before. I’m making some copies.”

“Alright,” Albus says. “I’ll be in the next room if you need me.”

He goes through the next door with considerably less fear. They’ve found nothing besides a bird and some mice so far. There’s nothing to fear in this mundane, Muggle house. It may be ruined but there’s nothing lurking in the shadows, and the next room just proves it.

It’s yet another bedroom, grand and still intact. There’s no ivy in here, and the wallpaper is surprisingly well preserved, especially given the state of the other rooms so far. There’s a photo on the dresser of a handsome young man wearing gear for some sort of Muggle sport that Albus doesn’t recognise. He’s all in white, leaning on a chunky wooden bat and grinning. This must be who the room once belonged to.

There are papers on the floor by the dresser, and Albus goes over and scoops them up, then perches on the end of the bed to read them, sending up a cloud of dust as he sits down. Most of them are letters, all addressed to ‘Tom’. Some are love letters, and Albus skips those after a couple of lines, pulling a face at the flowery attempt at poetry. There’s one thank you letter for a birthday present, a couple from someone who seems to be a friend of Tom’s, discussing everything from politics to girls, and there’s another very brief invitation to a dinner party. None of it seems to relate to Delphi at all, so Albus puts them on top of the dresser next to the photo and is about to start going through the drawers when something in a corner of the room catches his eye.

He looks up and sees a large snakeskin coiled there, pale, glittering in the dappled light filtering through the overgrown window. Frowning, he goes over to it and crouches down to take a closer look. It must be old because it’s fragmented, whole sections of it decayed into dust, but some strips of scales remain, and he reaches out to touch them. They’re so smooth, and so fragile. Parts of the skin break up even under the lightest brush of fingers, so he withdraws his hand and sits on his heels.

Why would there be a snakeskin here? Especially such a large one. There are wild snakes in Britain, but not ones this big, not native ones. It makes no sense.

He coughs as dust creeps into his lungs, and gets to his feet. There’s no point getting distracted by a snakeskin. The creature is probably long dead anyway. If the skin is decomposing like that it must have been there for years, and there are still mice alive in this house. If Albus were a mouse and there was a snake that big around, he wouldn’t be living here.

He crosses back to the dresser, ready to search it, but this time he stops when he sees a strange flickering light coming from under the door. Bright orange. Dancing. The same light that’s cast across a pitch when they race.

He coughs again, and it suddenly occurs to him that it’s not dust filtering into his lungs, it’s smoke. Bitter, acrid smoke. He can smell burning, and he fans himself as he realises how hot it is in here. And then he hears it, the crackle of flames, and the gentle, familiar, menacing hiss that suggests not just fire, but Fiendfyre.

Albus reels away from the door, raising his wand as he rushes to the window. It’s fine. No need to panic. He can jump. He’ll cast a Cushioning Charm and jump. He’s safe.

He gulps in a breath as the hissing fills his ears from beyond the door and fear grips him. He knows it’s his imagination, but he can almost feel the heat prickling on his arms, awakening the burns. He needs to get out. He can get out. He’s okay.

“Bombarda,” he says, pointing his wand at the window.

He expects the window to shatter, but his hand shakes as he casts the spell and the whole wall comes tumbling down, the roof sagging above it, creaking and cracking. If he doesn’t get out now the ceiling will collapse, and that’s the last thing he needs, to be trapped next door to raging Fiendfyre.

He rushes to the window and braces himself to jump, but then he remembers. In his panic he’d forgotten that he didn’t come here alone. Scorpius is somewhere on the other side of the house, and Albus can’t leave him. He has to know that Scorpius is safe.

Everything in him screams at him to jump, but he doesn’t. He turns back towards the door, and the orange, dancing light.

In his whole life he’s never done anything this stupid, but he has to get to Scorpius. He has to make sure Scorpius knows about the fire and that he’s getting out. If he Apparates across the hall he can avoid the fire he knows is there at least. He might also be Apparating into a furnace, but it’s better than running out in the blaze that he can feel is right outside the door.

He closes his eyes, turns on the spot, and falls sideways onto the bed as he loses balance. When he opens his eyes he sees that he’s in the same room with the snake skin in the corner and the photo on the dresser, so he scrambles to his feet and tries again. Nothing happens. One final attempt gets him nowhere, and although it might just be his shoddy magic, he can tell that there’s no Apparating out of this. It must be blocked here. Which makes perfect sense because Fiendfyre doesn’t just happen. It’s never an accident. It’s powerful dark magic, so someone has set the fire and made sure they can’t Apparate. Someone must want to kill them.

“Scorpius!” Albus shouts as a last alternative. “Scorpius, can you hear me?”

Nothing but crackling and hissing beyond the door.

“SCORPIUS!” He screams at the top of his lungs.

Still nothing.

There’s no other option. Albus has to go to him.

Throwing all his caution and self-preservation out of the window, Albus crouches down low to the floor, draws in a deep breath, and flings the bedroom door open.

[erenevune]

Harry Potter and the Cursed Plotholes

So, obviously there will be spoilers for Harry Potter and the Cursed Child in this post/rant. If you have no wish to be spoiled, stop reading now and scroll away.

First off I would like to preface by saying that I've seen the play twice now so I have a pretty good idea of what happens in it. Once in London (2017) and again in Melbourne a couple weeks ago (2019), and though I own the script I haven't read yet. However I have read this lovely version of it. They took the script and wrote it as a novel without removing any of the original script and incorporating somethings in to connect the scenes ad plausibly as possible. Go read it, it's great. https://archiveofourown.org/works/7666957

Anyway, I like the play. It's fun to watch and the music and sound effects and such are amazing. Scorpius is the best and I adore him. That isn't to say I don't have major problems with the story itself. We all know there are many many many plot holes and that Rowling didn't write it herself, but she does consider it canon to the series which is annoying because it breaks rules set in the previous Harry Potter books. I have a few points I have the most issues with.

I dedicate this rant to @onehealer to whom I ranted with about this for an hour through DM's.

So firstly: Fidelius charm who?

In the final act, Scorpius and Albus can see the potters house even though it's under the fidelius charm. They've never been there before, Harry tried multple times to take Ablus it seems but was turned down, and only read about it in books at most.... does that count as them knowing the Secret? No, it doesn't otherwise people who knew the address of the home before the charm was cast they would know. It can be excused that Delphi technically was never shown to have known where the house was, only knowing they were in Godrics Hollow... which also goes with the fact that knowing the address in the future meant nothing. Imagine Voldemort pulling out a phone book to find their address and suddenly being able to see their home. It also seemed like she didn't want to go after the Potters herself, she was only there to get to Voldemort first. So that's fine.

The issue is that somehow the two boys were able to see through the charm. And going with this vein, how did Ron, Hermione and Draco see as well? Literally only Harry should be able to see the Potter home because he was part of what the charm was protecting and thus knew the Secret, even if he was only a baby at the time.

Time travel should not negate the charm, why would that work? The charm is still active in the time they currently exist in, and this is an ancient, powerful and complex spell too.

"Maybe they knew because Harry told Albus about it." Sure, that could have worked, but it doesn't. When the Secret Keeper dies, anyone who was told the Secret becomes a Secret Keeper (Because you can originally choose more than one), so when Peter Pettigrew died, at the very least Harry would have the Secret. Probably Dumbledore and Sirius too, at least. But the problem with that is that the Fidelius charm was broken the night Lily and James Potter died, thus there was no longer a Secret. How else would the location become common knowledge in the Wizarding World? There's a monument to the Potters for crying out loud. People visited to pay their respects to them. So, Albus was never told the Secret because there wasn't one any longer.

There's literally no way anyone but Harry should have been able to see the Potter home. Even giving it some rope, they shouldn't have been able to see the house until Harry points it out to them, aka tells them where it is, because it could be argued that he could technically give out the Secret, having been part of it originally, but even then he wasn't a Secret Keeper and from how I understand it, just because you knew the secret didn't give you the ability to tell anyone unless you're a Secret Keeper.

The worst part about this plot hole is that not only is it massive, the plot of the story relies on it's existence to progress. Sometimes plot holes can be forgiven, but when the story relies on their existence? Especially such an enormous one? No, just no.

(As a little aside, I just want to bring attention to the fact Scorpius and Albus somehow made their way from Hogwarts, in the Scottish Highlands, to Godrics Hollow in less than a day. That's a long way, not to mention they had no wands, no food, no money, no sleep, no warm clothes and probably not wanting to risk talking to any wizards for fear if changing the timeline or accidently finding a Death Eater. There's also the fact Scorpius had just been Crucio'd at least 3 times in the last hour. Kudos to Scorpius for managing to get there with Albus, hot damn.)

Second, Wtf Albus?

Seriously, wtf. Don't get me wrong, I do like Albus but he's definitely a spoiled/ungrateful little brat at times, with as Scorpius puts it, a chip on his shoulder.

The thing I, well I wont say hate because i do like his character but it's close enough, most about him is his decision to go back and save Cedric in the first place. Like its a nice thought, but dude, why?

Why does Cedric deserve to live more than literally anyone else Voldenort killed? What makes him more deserving of you risking everything to go back and save?

Why does a 17yr old who signed up for a tournament that is known to have resulted in the deaths of its competitors many times in it's history, deserve to live more than all those 11-17 year olds killed at Hogwarts trying to flee or fight? All the adults who fought and died in the battle? All those people killed during either war? A lot of people who died because of Voldemort didn't sign up to put themselves in danger.

If it's about some semblance of a connection, of which there really isn't any in this case, what about Fred? Your uncle? Someone your uncle George probably still dies inside over? I mean he even gave up their joke shop to Ron, possibly to avoid memories of the twin brother who died?

Why does some kid you have no connection to other than his dad blaming yours for killing him when he literally had no way of knowing what the fuck was going on until he was already dead?? Why does he deserve to live more? I don't get it.

And then he blames Harry for Cedric's death like he had any chance to prevent it? Dude, seriously, he was the SAME AGE as you are now when this happened, I'd fucking like to see you do better??

Another thing I dislike is that Albus is never really able to experience the consequences of his actions and what could have happened. Because, you know, he stopped existing and Scorpius had to deal with it on his own.

There's also the way he treats Harry but I'll get to that in a sec.

Harry was doing his best, honestly he was. He sometimes seems a little out of character, but even still. I understand why he could be seen that way. We know he's under a lot of stress from his work at the Ministry, especially since it's to do with creatures that sided with Voldemort that are going missing or whatever. Then there's the nightmares involving Voldy and his scar hurting again after years of nothing. Stress, lots and lots of stress.

Then there's Albus. Harry has trouble understanding his son, he's not easy like James and Lily. Which is fine. But the problem is that Harry tries his best to reach Albus but he's never met halfway.

Albus seen my to refuse to believe anything but hero propaganda about Harry and his life at Hogwarts, and seems to have ignored literally anyone in his adult family who says differently. He doesn't seem to grasp to suffering and trauma that Harry has and grew up with, and scoffs in the face of it. Harry isn't perfect, but he's a good dad trying his best with a child who is frankly quite ungrateful.

Albus was being a little fucking spoiled brat to Harry and the poor dude was probably at his wits end with the one kid of his he didn't truly understand and who went out of his way to hate on everything Harry did and went through in his life. Like I said, Harry was under lots of stress from his job and so of course he would snap, anyone would, and say something they regret when provoked. Especially when you're trying your best to connect with your kid, even if it's not going great it's still an effort to do so, and then your kid just out and out says he wishes he wasn't your son? I think a lot of people would retort with something similarly hurtful. Harry immediately regrets it but both parties have been hurt so Albus storms off.

It's very annoying that everyone else in the play seems to be blaming Harry for Albus hating being his son and running off / running off to do something stupid. He was very obviously doing his best even though Albus was giving him nothing to work with. And for some strange reason people seemed to think Harry was in any way popular in 4th year? Like seriously people, where the fuck did that idea come from? Everyone hated Harry in his 4th year lol. Albus must be getting his info from a source as credible as Rita Skeeter if that's the case, that or every character magically, ha, forgot what really happened.

I also get annoyed at how they deal with the first alternate timeline. The first time they mess with time, Hermione and Ron never get married, Ron marries and has a son with Padma Patil and Albus ends up in Gryffindor. Harry proceeds to force a separation between the two boys for Albus safety, having been told there was a "black cloud" around his son. Of course the only person Albus hangs out with is Scorpius, and assuming events happened the same they had just jumped off the Hogwarts Express and gone missing for a bit, and assuming they had the same argument where they both say they wish they weren't the father/son of the other person, then it makes some sense what Harry does. Also, it's an alternate timeline.

But Scorpius tells Albus none of the events in Harry's life changed, so it seems like their meddling didn't change him. At all. I'm sorry, what the actual fuck? Scorpius I love you but no.

Just because the events stayed the same doesn't mean Harry personally wasn't changed in many small ways. There are people and life changing events erased from his experiences. His two best friends never got married and had kids, because Ron never got jelous over Hermione being Krums Yule Ball date. You trying to tell me that Ron and Hermione becoming different people with entirely different personalities didn't have any effect on Harry what so ever??? Bullshit. Like this was a direct and very significant change in his personal timeline and history, I refuse to believe this didn't change him. Hell, he might not even enjoy his job. Hermione isn't Minster for Magic so who knows whether the Ministry was properly freed of corruption and what polices and changes no longer exist, and what new ones might. So many little things that build up and shape someone's personal experiences and shape their personality.

I don't remember if it was ever directly addressed, but I think it was mentioned at the end of the play, but it says/implies(?) that Harry would have separated them and launched an investigation into Scorpius' parentage in the original timeline as well as the alternate one? I don't know if I believe that, and it's unclear if certain things still happened for everyone other than the boys because the changes the boys made were prevented later on when Scorpius is in the alternate universe where Harry was killed.

Another small aside, thank fuck for Scorpius. When he snapped and said something along the lines of "Oh poor little Albus Potter with his chip on his shoulder. At least your dad will always be your dad, mine won't be because everyone wants to tell me it's Voldemort. They want to tell me my poor sweet dead mother was such a monster to have a kid with him." Like damn someone really needed to tell Albus to stop whining about how apparently horrible and selfish his dad is.

Lastly, how the Time Turners function. Yes, I get these are new and one of a kind Time Turners designed and created outside Ministry regulation and designed to go back years at a time. However, it was originally established that time travel in this world with them works as a closed loop. They travel back in time because they already did. Harry survived the Dementors because he cast a patronus charm, and then went back in time to cast that charm because he already did, and if he hadn't he wouldn't have survived to go back in the first place. Closed loops.

In this however, they did actually do things that never happened. They probably even changed how Ron and Hermione got together, because it's unclear if they also prevented Albus casting the fireworks into the air above the second task declaring "Ron loves Hermione".

The only benefit of this fuckery with how Time Turners work is that it would then make sense why time travel fucks everything up so much it creates alternate timelines and alternate universes. It's still annoying that they casually fucked with how it's supposed to work but it's not as big an issue as the Fidelius charm thing. Also why did Hermione of all people keep the fucking thing??? Like I understand to an extent but seriously, and then to have such lax security on it? For fucks sake, don't you remember being 11 and getting past all the security put on the philosophers stone??!?! You might as well have put the time Turner in wrapping paper in comparison, because at least those ones had the potential to seriously maim or kill you.

Scorpius was a great character, I adore him and he was actually really well written. He's the sweetest thing and needs all the hugs. His relationship with his dad (Draco) is also amazing and a well written dysfunction of different personalities and effects of grief, but Draco loves his son no matter what and constantly tries his best. Despite my rant, I also like Albus and I adore their friendship and their dynamic. I don't mind character flaws, but sometimes they do get over the top and annoying like they did with Albus for a while there, mostly because of the way it influenced the plot.

I dont know, I probably missed shit I wanted to say and maybe got a little harsh sometimes but eh, it's a rant for a reason lol. I love the play, but once I start thinking about things that's when it goes a lot downhill from there haha.

Also Scorpius is amazing and I adore him. :)

[preserving-ferretbrain]

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Chapters 1-12

by Dan H

Wednesday, 01 August 2007

Dan reviews the final Harry Potter book chapter by painful chapter.~

I really liked the first three Harry Potter books. They were brilliant, engaging, cleverly written, masterfully paced and - as AS Byatt put it - just scary enough. They were genuinely good children's fiction, of the kind that a grown up wouldn't feel too bad about reading in public.  Then JKR got famous, and her editors stopped doing their job. And she got sucked into a nightmare whirlwind of publicity. And it went downhill from there.  I hate Potter now. Genuinely, vehemently hate it. I hate it precisely because I used to love it, and it angers me no end that the books I enjoyed, about a boy wizard and his boarding-school adventures, have been swallowed by this "phenomenon." 

The Harry Potter books aren't "books" any more. They're events. That's why people queue outside a bookshop at midnight to buy a copy, as if somehow starting to read a book an hour later than somebody else makes the reading experience different.  Anyway, to cut a long story short, I have a burning desire to exorcise the spirit of Potter from my soul, and I intend to do it by writing a chapter-by-chapter review of the final instalment. There may be some delays while I fling the book across the room.  So, without further ado...  Chapter One: The Dark Lord Ascending In which Voldemort borrows Lucius Malfoy's wand. I should first take a quick moment to say that his book managed to piss me off before chapter one even started by having a quote from Aeschylus at the start. I mean for fuck's sake, what is this, a 1993 Vampire sourcebook?  Anyway, chapter one is called The Dark Lord Ascending although it should more properly be called "The Dark Lord Sitting In A Dining Room And Being A Bit Mean To The Malfoys But Basically Doing Nothing."  Fans of the series will of course be intimately familiar with scenes of Voldemort Doing Nothing. He's been at it for three books now. This chapter is particularly full of fine examples of the Dark Lord's sinister aptitude for inactivity.  The action - or rather inaction - takes place in the pleasingly alliterative grounds of Malfoy Manor. Voldemort and his wacky minions discuss the progress of their sinister plan to take over the Wizarding World. They bicker about when Harry is going to be moved from his present location, and then they do a lot of exposition about how they are going to take over the Ministry of Magic.  This is particularly heavy handed. 

"It's a start," said Voldemort. "But Thicknesse is only one man. Scrimgeour must be surrounded by our people before I act. One failed attempt on the Minister's life will set me back a long way." "Yes, my Lord - that is true - but you know, as the head of the department of magical law enforcement, Thicknesse has regular contact not only with the Minister himself, but also with the heads of all the other Ministry departments. It will, I think, be easy now that we have such a high-ranking official under our control, to subjugate the others, and then we can all work together to bring Scrimgeour down."

Just in case you didn't catch that, they've got control of a man named Thicknesse, got that, Thicknesse, who is head of the department of magical law enforcement, and they are going to use him to get control over all the other ministers, and use that to take down Scrimgeour, and then take control of the ministry of magic.  Remember in the first book, where the Philosopher's Stone was barely seen, seldom discussed, and it wasn't until the very end of the book that you actually found out why Lord Voldemort wanted it so badly? Remember how cool and exciting that was. Damn I miss that.  While the Death Eaters bicker about whether their dastardly plan which they could have enacted at any time over the past three years is actually going to work or not, we are painfully aware that there is a figure, horribly suspended above the table in the centre of the room. Helpless and silent, we are forced to watch the black-hearted villains discuss their tedious-but-horrific plans, while this figure suffers above us.  Imagine, then, how our horror is compounded when we discover that this innocent creature who the Dark Lord torments so casually is none other than ...  ... Charity Burbage!  You know. Charity Burbage. She taught Muggle Studies at Hogwarts. Remember Muggle Studies? I think Hermione takes it in her third year. Or something.  So anyway, she dies. And this makes a Meaningful Statement About The Nature Of Death. Students of literary history will of course recall that up until 2000's Goblet of Fire, there had never been a death in any children's book ever written.  The Death Eaters talk some more. They make Nazi salutes (seriously: "in silence, both raised their left arms in a kind of salute") and are racist about Muggles and Mudbloods.  Chapter Two: In Memoriam In which Harry gets angry at a Daily Prophet article and shouts "Lies!" For chapter two, we are back following Harry Potter. I confidently predict that we shall never leave his side again.  In chapter two, Harry cuts his finger on the mirror that Sirius gave him. Then he reads two articles about Albus Dumbledore. These give us more information than we could possibly want about the plot-dumping old coot. Tragically, it seems fated to be but the tip of a very large Dumbledore-shaped iceberg.  And these articles are long. Like really, really long. It's basically like JK Rowling took her fifteen-year old notes about the character of Dumbledore, copy-pasted them into the text, and attributed them to a guy with a silly name.  The purpose of this chapter, it seems, is to make us believe that there was more to Dumbledore than we ever expected.  He had thought he knew Dumbledore quite well, but ever since reading this obituary he had been forced to recognise that he had barely known him at all. Never once had he imagined Dumbledore's childhood or youth; it was as though he had sprung into being as Harry had known him, venerable and silver-haired and old.  Now I'm sorry, but that's just cheating.  Dumbledore spends six books being a moderately entertaining but utterly generic White Haired Old Mentor Figure. Harry's belief that Dumbledore had "sprung into being ... venerable and silver-haired and old" is of course literally true. JK Rowling invented him to be a mentor to her protagonist, and at no point does he act like anything else. Dumbledore spends six books as a plot device. Asking us to suddenly see him as a real person is pathetic. She might as well have gone the whole hog and written "Suddenly, Harry realised that JK Rowling was a really brilliant writer, and all her characters were really complex and interesting."  Harry packs his bags, and prepares to leave on his Epic Quest To Defeat Voldemort Using The Spells He Learned In His Second Year Duelling Class.  Chapter Three: The Dursleys Departing In which the Dursleys Depart, and it's actually quite touching. This chapter, unlike the previous two chapters, is not a waste of good wood pulp. We see Harry being taken away from the Dursleys for the last time, and the Dursleys themselves being taken into hiding so that Voldemort cannot target them.  This chapter actually contains something approaching a significant event, and even more rarely, some actual semblance of character development on behalf of the otherwise zero-dimensional Dursley family. 

"I don't think you're a waste of space."

It's a touch of the old style. The Dursleys remain, to the end, a rather pathetic caricature of a middle class family (and really, is there any easier target in the world than the middle class suburbanite?) but Dudley's admission that he doesn't entirely hate Harry, and that Harry did in fact save his life, carries a genuine emotional weight.  So the Dursleys depart in the company of two utterly forgettable Order of the Phoenix members, and we never hear from them again. From here on in we live forever in the magical world of Hogwarts, where fourteen year olds fight dragons, and Dark Lords are desperate to get teaching gigs.  Chapter Four: The Seven Potters In which Harry's mail client goes down. After the Dursleys leave, the Order of the Phoenix show up, and explain that Potter can't escape by magic, because he's still underage, and the "Trace" which detects magic being performed around underage wizards would allow the Ministry to locate him instantly.  So instead they decide to go by broomstick / Thestral / flying motorbike, with six "decoy" Potters, created using Polyjuice potion.  It all goes a bit tits up. They run into a pack of thirty Death Eaters, who start flinging killing curses at them.  Harry responds with the spells he learned in his second year duelling class, and manages to take out about half a dozen of the pursuing Death Eaters with Stupefy and Impedimentia charms, which they are clearly incapable of blocking. Note that since Harry is "still under the Trace," his use of underaged magic should have immediately notified the Ministry to his presence, allowing them to track him trivially. After all, that's why they couldn't just Apparate out of there in the first place. Right?  So Harry and the rest of the Order fight the Death Eaters. During this battle, however, the Order of the Phoenix suffers a Terrible Loss. 

"Hedwig - Hedwig -" But the owl lay motionless and pathetic as a toy on the floor of her cage. He could not take it in, and his terror for the others was paramount.

Leaving aside the fact that I've seen better writing on fanfiction.net (I mean really "He could not take it in and his terror for the others was paramount," what the fuck?), I think it's telling that so far the casualties of this most dark and terrible war are a teacher who we never actually saw in a previous book, and Harry's pet owl. But the whole thing is presented in this massively portentous way that says This Is A Significant Event. I'm sorry, but it's an owl. Not only is it an owl, but it's an owl whose sole function is to deliver Harry's post.  So they fight the Death Eaters, and one of them gets his cowl knocked off to reveal that he is none other than ...  ... ready for this? There's a lot of these big revelations coming up...  ... he is none other than Stanley Shunpike!  Stanley Shunpike ... the guy off Knight Bus? Yeah, I don't care either.  Harry tries to disarm Stan with his trademark Expelliarmus curse, at which point Stan can identify him immediately. This is apparently significant, although since the Ministry is supposed to be able to tell the moment he performs underage magic of any sort anyway, I'm not sure why he's so shocked.  Some thing go wrong, and Hagrid flying tackles a Death Eater and gets all badly hurt and stuff. The next chapter is called "Fallen Warrior." But don't worry, Hagrid doesn't die. Because people only die if it won't get in the way of the plot. I wish I'd had JK Rowling to explain death to me when I was a child.  Chapter Five: Fallen Warrior  In which JK Rowling talks to us about the nature of death. Hagrid doesn't die. He and Harry are taken in by Mr and Mrs Tonks, Harry's tooth (which got knocked out in the previous chapter) is regrown by magic.  Harry and Hagrid travel by Portkey to the Burrow. Everybody else shows up one at a time, taking much longer than they needed to.  Lupin gives Harry a stern talking to about not trying to disarm his enemies. You see, the Death Eaters don't understand the idea of disarming your opponent. They're far too evil to consider the advantages of being armed when your opponent isn't. Or something. 

"Of course not," said Lupin, "but the Death Eaters - frankly most people! - would have expected you to attack back! Expelliarmus is a useful spell, Harry, but the Death Eaters seem to think it is your signature move, and I urge you not to let it become so!"

Essentially this little speech, like the bit about Dumbledore in chapter two, reads a lot like JK Rowling trying to pretend that her weaknesses as a writer are really deliberate character traits. The fact that Harry always uses Expelliarmus in a fight is a limitation of miss Rowling's imagination, her idea of non-evil things to do in a fight is strictly limited. Trying to claim that this is somehow saying something profound about Harry's naivete or his merciful nature is hogwash.  Most everybody makes it back in one piece. George (of Fred and George) loses an ear, which apparently can't be cured because it's "Dark Magic". And Mad-Eye-Moody dies. Now, I kinda liked Mad-Eye, but the character I actually liked was Mad-Eye as played by Barty Crouch under the influence of Polyjuice potion. Now admittedly, that character is pretty much identical to the "real" Mad-Eye, but that's rather strong testimony to how poorly developed he actually was.  This would all be fair enough, but JK then insists on making it very clear to us that there is Death happening and that Death is a very important part of the book, because it's important that children be told about Death.  So we get glorious lines like: 

Harry could not quite believe it. Mad-Eye dead; it could not be ... Mad-Eye, so tough, so brave, the consummate survivor ...

And... 

Nobody seemed to know what to do. Tonks was crying silently into a hand-kerchief: she had been close to Mad-Eye, Harry knew, his favourite and his protegee at the Ministry of Magic.

And of course the execrable: 

The suddenness and completeness of death was with them like a presence.

The first two are just the old show-don't tell problem, which JK never really got over. She's never really worked out how to convey something to her audience without just telling it to them directly. The last line, though, is just completely fucking amateurish. It's up there with "From my point of view, the Jedi are evil."  Leaving aside the fact that, yet again, she's attempting to convey the information that the people in the room have been struck by the suddenness and completeness of death by saying "the suddenness and completeness of death was with them" she also seems to think that "was with them like a presence" is anything other than nonsense. I mean, how can something be with you without being like a presence? It's a completely empty simile. It's functionally equivalent to saying "the suddenness and completeness of death was with them like a thing" or "the suddenness and completeness of death was with them like a thing that was with them."  I really hate this book.  Chapter Six: The Ghoul In Pyjamas In which we get a plot dump about Horcruxes. In chapter six we have a refreshing change of pace. And by "refreshing" I mean "frustrating" and by "change of pace" I mean "slow to a painful crawl as we watch Harry and co sit around doing nothing for several days."  So Bill and Fleur are getting married. We spend an inordinate amount of time talking about this. Mrs Weasley is entirely preoccupied with it. Presumably because she's a woman and therefore doesn't understand important things like war, death, and her son losing an ear.  In chapter six, Harry Ron and Hermione explain to each other in great detail the plans they have made for their upcoming battle against Voldemort. So we learn how Hermione mind-raped her parents in order to keep them safe (she cries about this for four seconds, Harry and Ron do not comment). We learn how Ron has dressed up the Weasleys' pet Ghoul in an unconvincing red wig, so that nobody will suspect that he's really out to kill Voldemort.  The thing that bugs me about this chapter is that it tries to provide answers to questions which I wouldn't have thought were important until JK drew attention to them. If the book had just been about Messers Potter, Weasley and Granger hunting some Dark Lord ass, I'd be totally onside. Putting this chapter in to "explain" why Voldemort doesn't just capture the Weasleys and torture the hell out of them just highlights how ludicrous it is that he doesn't. Hell, once he's taken over the Ministry of Magic, he could very easily haul in everybody Potter has ever cared about, and start hacking bits off of them until Harry gives himself up.  But he doesn't. Because Ron has cunningly disguised a Ghoul as "Ron With a horrible disease and a completely different face". So they'll leave the Weasleys alone. They're considerate, those Death Eaters.  The other thing we find out is that Hermione has a copy of Secrets of the Darkest Art, otherwise known as the Big Book of Horcruxes. She proceeds to explain in excruciating detail exactly how Horcruxes work. Because lord knows we wouldn't want anybody reading the book to draw their own conclusions about that sort of thing. That would imply that reading a work of fiction was something other than the process of learning facts about the author's world. We can't have that now can we.  Similarly, we get things like: 

"I wonder when Dumbledore removed it from the library ... if he didn't do it until he was headmaster, I bet Voldemort got all the instruction he needed from here." "Why did he have to ask Slughorn how to make a Horcrux then, if he'd already read that?" asked Ron. "He only approached Slughorn to find out what would happen if you split your soul into seven," said Harry.

Which, let's face it, reads like the Q&A section from JKR's official website. This isn't Harry talking to Ron, this is Rowling talking to her readers. At least, to the sorts of readers who ask that sort of question.  The chapter ends with no progress having been made towards finding any of the Horcruxes.  Chapter Seven: The Will of Albus Dumbledore In which Ginny kisses Harry Like She Has Never Kissed Him Before Chapter seven is a mystery dump. Harry wakes up shouting "Grigorovitch!" and we are left to wonder what this mysterious name means.  It's Harry's birthday. Ron gets him a book about pulling chicks. Ginny kisses him as she has never kissed him before. The Minister for Magic shows up and tells Harry, Ron and Hermione that they have all been left stuff in Dumbledore's will. Then he makes an inept attempt to grill them for information.  In Dumbledore's Will, Ron is left the Deluminator (the thing Dumbledore uses at the start of the first book to put out the lights in Privet Drive), Hermione is left a book of fairy tales, and Harry is left the Snitch from his first ever game of Quidditch. And the Sword of Godric Gryffindor, but he's not given that. We are then told that all of these gifts are Very Very Mysterious but that Dumbledore Must Have Had A Plan and therefore it is Important To Work Out What Each Of The Gifts Means.  Once again, nothing happens. Ron tells Harry to keep his filthy vacillating hands out of his sister's long, sweet-smelling hair. Team Potter wonders why Dumbledore left them the bunch of crap he left them. And of course they wonder why the irritating old coot didn't tell them what was going on while he was still alive, or give Harry the Sword of Godric Gryffindor when he still had the chance. 

"And why couldn't he have just told me?" Harry said quietly. "It was there, it was right there on the wall of his office during all our talks last year! If he wanted me to have it, why didn't he give it to me then?"

Going by previous form, the answer to this all important question about Dumbledore's already spurious motivation probably has something to do with love.  Everybody gets ready for the wedding. Because a wedding is exactly what you should be thinking about when a Nazi wizard with no nose is taking over the world.  Chapter Eight: The Wedding In which Voldemort takes over the world while Harry is at a wedding. One of the Weasleys marries one of the characters with a stupid accent. Harry is Polyjuiced into a red-headed stepchild so that he can hide amongst the guests. Harry then has to babysit an offensive aunt of the Weasley clan, who says horrible things about everybody.  Harry, being a man who has his priorities sorted out, decides that the best use of his time, seeing as how he's destined to destroy the Dark Lord and everything, is to get really obsessive about Dumbledore's family history. To be fair to the kid, it's not like he was going to be able to get anything done at the wedding anyway.  So we learn more tedious crap about how Dumbledore's mother was like evil or something, and he had a sister who was a squib. We also learn ...  ... get ready for another big revelation ...  ... this one's really big ...  ... no seriously ...  we also learn that the Dumbledores used to live in Godric's Hollow! Doesn't that shed a whole new light on the other books? Can't you just see it all now, how Dumbledore's every glance, every gesture was just screaming "Harry! My family once lived in the same general location as your family!" Truly, we are in the presence of a master storyteller.  We also find out that Grigorovitch was a wandmaker, that Voldemort is still evil, and that Voldemort has killed the Minister of Magic and taken control of the Wizarding government. 

The Ministry has fallen. Scrimgeour is dead. They are coming.

Okay, I get it. It's punchy. But for the love of all that is holy, we're a hundred and thirty-three pages in, the Death Eaters have finally done something interesting, and we miss it because we're stuck following Harry, who is stuck at a wedding and angsting about his old headmaster.  Chapter Nine: A Place To Hide In which Team Potter sits around doing nothing.  Potter and his pals flee the wedding and hide out in a greasy spoon cafe, where they are set upon by Dolohov and Thorfin Rowle. Presumably these names mean something to somebody - perhaps to people who have religiously followed JK Rowling's "Wizard of the Month" updates on her website. These two Death Eaters fail to capture the Potterites, which should come as no surprise to anybody.  They decide to modify the memories of these two men, in order to cover their escape. Because lord knows a couple of mindless zombies won't attract attention. 

"But I've never done a memory charm." "Nor have I," said Hermione, "but I know the theory."

By "but I know the theory" she of course means "I mind-raped my parents into thinking they were completely different people who wanted to move to Australia, and by the way I told you fuckers that - like - two chapters ago and you didn't offer me any support or sympathy."  They decide they need somewhere safe, and they decide to go to Grimmauld Place, which is apparently safe because the late, lamented Mad-Eye had set up "protections" there, so that Snape couldn't get in and kill them all (remember that, although JK Rowling told us categorically that Snape was a good guy, we're supposed to ignore this information and keep acting like we think he's a villain). These "protections" turn out to be a tongue-tying curse that lasts for eight seconds (and can't Snape cast spells silently anyway?) and a Spooky Dumbledore Ghost, which goes away once you tell it you aren't Snape.  This chapter is mercifully short.  Chapter Ten: Kreacher's Tale In which we are told firmly that Sirius black was NOT GAY. Harry pokes around Grimmauld place, finding Sirius' old collection of bikini model posters, photograph of himself at the age of one, and a letter from Lily Potter which basically reads:  "Dear Sirius, I'm really glad we aren't going get horribly killed in the next six months. Baby Harry is wonderful and I love him very much. So much that I'll make him immune to dark magic by the sheer loving power of my loving loving love. Love Lily."  And of course, the letter ends on this note: 

Bathilda drops in most days, she's a fascinating old thing with the most amazing stories about Dumbledore, I'm not sure he'd be pleased if he knew! I don't know how much to believe, actually, because it seems incredible that Dumbledore...

The rest of the letter is missing.  You fucking hack, JK Rowling. Look, I get it. You've got a bunch of Dumbledore backplot you want to give us. You've told us that. Just give us the plot dump, or don't give us the plot dump. I don't care at this stage. Nothing's going to be as cool as "he was Ron from the future" anyway.  Next to Sirius' room is the bedroom of ...  ... wait for it ...  ... Sirius's brother: Regulus Arcturus Black.  It's a good thing that he put his middle name on his door really. And a good thing that no two people in the entire Wizarding world have the same initials.  So they've found RAB, but no magic locket of Horcruxness. They ransack the house, then realise that Mundungus probably nicked off with it. Bastard.  So they go to Kreacher, and he gives them a bit of backstory which, unusually is genuinely touching. It turns out that crotchety old Kreacher was given to Lord Voldemort by Regulus, and Voldemort used him to "test" the defences around his locket Horcrux, making Kreacher drink the poison so that he could hide the artefact underneath it. Curiously, this led the Dark Lord to believe that his defences were completely secure, instead of the more sensible opinion that his defences could be breached by anybody with access to a tractable house-elf.  Anyway, Kreacher was all wrecked by this, and when Regulus found out he turned against Voldemort (possibly the genocide was giving him the willies as well). He got Kreacher to take him back to the cave, drank the poison himself, and gave Kreacher the Horcrux with instructions that he should destroy it.  Which is actually kind of sweet, and I'm damned certain Harry and co would never dream of sacrificing themselves for a house-elf.  So they decide to be nice to Kreacher, and this gets him onside. They then send Kreacher looking for Mundugus, so they can get the Horcrux back off him.  Chapter Eleven: The Bribe In which Harry Potter bravely lets a house-elf do his job for him.  Harry Potter, realising that in order to defeat Voldemort he must use the Dark Lord's own methods, however despicable they might be, spends this chapter sitting on his arse doing nothing. Not that Voldemort has anything to fear: he's had decades to practice his sitting-on-his-arse-doing-nothing, and Harry's arse-sitting seems amateurish by comparison.  So anyway. Harry sends Kreacher to get Mundungus back, so he can ask for the Horcrux. While he is sitting around waiting, Remus Lupin shows up and acts like an asshole. He informs Harry that Tonks is now pregnant, and therefore he has decided to join Harry on his quest, because werewolves shouldn't be allowed near small children or something.  We also find out that Voldemort and his minions have continued their cunning plan to imitate the Nazis and have started making Muggle-Borns "register", and presumably wear little yellow stars as well, because in case you hadn't noticed the Death Eaters are a little bit like the Nazis and Voldemort's desire to wipe out the Muggle-Borns is a little bit like the Holocaust. Clever that, isn't it. Kudos to you JK Rowling. It's about time somebody took a stand against genocide.  Anyway, I digress. Remus shows up and acts like an asshole. Harry acts like an asshole back, and they get into this huge "who can be the biggest asshole" competition. This shows us that Harry has "grown up" over the course of the books. We know this because he is now acting like a forty year old novelist thinks a teenager would act, rather than actually displaying any form of personality or motivation.  Remus leaves to go back to his "wife and child", but not before giving us another one of the by now familiar "this is why this book totally makes sense and doesn't suck" speeches. When asked (very sensibly) why Voldemort doesn't just come into the open now that he's - y'know - taken over the goddamned world already, Lupin insists that: 

"Voldemort is playing a very clever game. Declaring himself might have provoked open rebellion: remaining masked has crafted confusion, uncertainty and fear."

Once again, JK drops the "show, don't tell" ball, by having somebody inform us that Voldemort is being clever, when in fact all he's doing is letting Harry slip through his fingers by pulling his punches when he should be rounding people up by the truckload. I mean what, precisely, does Voldemort have to fear from open rebellion? And if he wants to create confusion uncertainty and fear, then I'm sure a couple of senseless massacres could do the same job with fewer administrative overheads.  Eventually Kreacher, who is the only person around here still doing his job right, brings Mundungus back, and he reveals that he gave the amulet to Dolores "Wasn't I Killed by Centaurs Already?" Umbridge as a bribe.  So Harry is off to the Ministry of magic.  Chapter Twelve: Magic is Might  In which we get yet another Polyjuice sequence. One thing I'll say for JK Rowling: you've got to respect her plot devices. While nothing will ever top the Room of Requirement for sheer brass-bollocked "yeah, this thing does whatever the hell I need it to" style, Polyjuice potion pulls its weight and then some.  So Harry, Ron and Hermione polyjuice themselves into Ministry employees and walk right in through the front door. This reminds us, as if we didn't know already, that the Ministry is run by morons who, despite Polyjuice potion being common enough that an above-average twelve year old can whip up a batch, haven't thought to take any precautions against their members being waylaid and replaced by rebellious seventeen year olds. Perhaps Voldemort couldn't increase security too much on account of his not wanting to "provoke open rebellion." He's just too damned clever for his own good, that Lord Voldemort.  This chapter is almost Tolkeinesque in its irrelevance. It essentially chronicles, in painstaking detail, the way in which Team Potter knock out some Ministry officials, polyjuice into them, and walk into the ministry. On their way in they hear terrible things about Mudbloods and Blood-Traitors being put on trial. For a Dark Lord, Voldemort is clearly very concerned about due process.  The chapter takes its name from an irrelevant but kinda cool piece of window-dressing. The phrase "Magic is Might" is engraved onto the base of the new (black) statue which has replaced the old frolicking magical creatures motif. 

Harry looked more closely and realised that what he had thought were decoratively carved thrones were actually mounds of carved humans: hundreds and hundreds of naked bodies, men, women and children, all with rather stupid, ugly faces, twisted and pressed together to support the weight of the handsomely robed wizards.

Now that's some serious Dark Lord style. But you'd think with his overall agenda of world conquest and crushing the Muggles and the Muggle-born beneath his pallid iron-shod heel, he'd be less concerned about hiding in the shadows.  Oh, also in this chapter we find out some more shit about Dumbledore or something. And Snape has been made headmaster of Hogwarts. And Voldemort is still looking for this wand-maker guy.  Next: The return of Dolores Umbridge, and more pointless backplot.

Themes: J.K. Rowling, Books, Young Adult / Children

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Comments (go to latest)

http://pozorvlak.livejournal.com/ at 20:39 on 2009-02-08

That, my friend, was awesome. You had at least twice as many quotable lines in that piece as JKR managed throughout the entire book.

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Rami at 06:53 on 2009-02-09

Welcome to Dan's Fans -- meetings are every Saturday at 11... ;-)

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Arthur B at 09:16 on 2009-02-09

You realise, of course, that there's only one way this can end: sooner or later someone, somewhere, is going to write Harry Potter fanfic where Dan is a character. (He could teach all the kids physics and he could be in a big snark feud with Snape and Snape will challenge him to a duel and Harry will be all GO DAN SHOW THAT MEANY WHO'S BOSS and Hermione will be all OH WOW PHYSICS IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN MAGIC I AM TOTALLY A SCIENCE NERD NOW and Ron is all MAN IF I WERE GROWN UP I WOULD TOTALLY SMOOCH DAN RIGHT NOW and Dumbledore is all MAN IF EVERYONE I KISSED DIDN'T TURN INTO HITLER I WOULD TOTALLY SMOOCH DAN RIGHT NOW and Dan beats Snape in duel with science and Snape is all I WAS WRONG TO SAY SCIENCE IS LAME YOU SHOULD STAY HERE AT HOGWARTS AND TEACH US ALL THE WAY OF THE MUGGLES and Dan is all like NO WAY THE KIDS OF ALL NATIONS NEED ME and he turns around and punches Voldemort in the jaw so hard his head comes off and then he takes off and flies away to the Moooooooooooooon....)

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Wardog at 10:54 on 2009-02-09

But Dan doesn't have long dark hair, skin like freshly poured cream and violet eyes....

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Arthur B at 11:03 on 2009-02-09

Aaaand there's my cue to post a link to the Sparklypoo comic.

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https://me.yahoo.com/a/tjLTVHEducFb4rKDHU5DukBHtQcCbTVMEEq55v0CxV4-#5e156 at 19:43 on 2009-07-29

Brilliant, absolutely hilarious, I want to show the rest of the Harry Potter fanbase your review. I wonder if my inertia could ever be on a par with Voldemort's. "My inertia is with me like something that is with me."

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http://lunabell14.myopenid.com/ at 22:50 on 2010-07-27

I wonder if cutting out all of that unnecessary Dumbledore backstory would've helped the pacing, or at least cut down some of the reading. Seriously, even when it was first introduced, I couldn't help but think "Why are you telling us about this? How will this help with Harry's quest, at all?" And every time it was brought up, it just continued to irritate me. I honestly don't understand why her editors didn't insist she cut it out.

[braverytaught]

please meta about minerva's thoughts when severus became headmaster !

@lamentedhope || send me meta topics || always accepting

okay so to answer this one i want to go back to when severus was initially appointed his position at hogwarts.

because i know i’ve mentioned this before, but minerva, initially, fiercely protested severus’s appointment. she knew that severus was a death eater, and, while this is, i think, mere conjecture on my part, i also believe that she knew that severus had been the one to deliver news of the prophecy to voldemort. this was more than enough for her to severely dislike and distrust him.

she had no idea why dumbledore vouched so firmly for severus, why dumbledore helped severus avoid prosecution, why dumbledore trusted him enough to place him in charge of students. she knew that dumbledore knew or believed something that led him to protect and trust severus, but her usual trust in dumbledore didn’t extend so far as to prevent her from questioning his decision to hire severus. in fact, she protested it vehemently, more than once, until dumbledore asked her if she seriously believed that he would bring danger to his students.

that quieted her, but she was still against severus’s appointment, and made no real effort to hide this fact. in fact, i’m just going to quote from a thread i wrote a long while back on this very subject:

    Her new tactic for coping with the unfortunate presence of Severus Snape in the castle was to ignore his existence completely as often as she was able, and make any necessary interactions brief and chilly; she saw no reason to give him any illusions about her opinion of him. This had, at least, prevented any incidents, though it had also made her snappier and more mulish than she usually was before the start of a new term.

as we are all aware, minerva almost never hides her dislike for people. she will maintain a veneer of politeness, but she makes little effort to hide her disdain, and i’m afraid that severus endured some pretty overt unfriendliness from her during the first few years of his teaching career. all this to stay that they started from a bad place: minerva neither liked severus nor trusted him. she tolerated his presence only because of her trust in dumbledore.

what matters, of course, is that their relationship improved over the years by quite a bit. they were never best friends, and minerva didn’t necessarily agree with many of severus’s attitudes or methods, but she had to admit that severus was, if irascible, also capable and, in some ways, good at his job in much the same way she was good at hers (in fact, harry compares the two of them at his very first potions lesson: “Like Professor McGonagall, Snape had the gift of keeping a class silent without effort.”). over time, their rivalry became a far friendlier one than before. severus never gave any reason to believe that he had not really repented, and gradually minerva began to trust him as a colleague directly rather than merely trusting dumbledore’s convictions.

they argued over quidditch. they argued over houses. they argued over which students were the worst troublemakers. they argued over what teaching methods were most affective. they argued over trivial things, and minerva enjoyed it. she and severus ended up becoming something like dumbledore’s right and left hands: when there was trouble, she and severus usually flanked dumbledore on the way to it, and i do think the three of them shared many confidences and concerns. no matter what odds she and severus may have been at on a casual basis, whenever there was real trouble, they were on the same side, and minerva grew to rely on and be grateful for that assistance.

all this to say that, over the course of some fifteen years of working together, minerva’s initial bitter dislike for severus gradually became real respect, real trust. they were, on some level, friends. they were certainly colleagues who respected each other, took pleasure from their banter, and had each other’s backs when it mattered. minerva really believed that severus was on their side. she vouched for him to others. she defended him against those who doubted his motives. she felt concern for him when he spied for the order after voldemort’s rise to power. 

and then he murdered albus dumbledore, minerva’s greatest colleague and mentor.

and i don’t think i have to say how devastated she was. actually, i have said so, in this meta – which, actually, i’m going to draw from just now, for a couple of different points.

here is minerva’s initial reaction to being told the news:

“Snape killed Dumbledore,” said Harry.

She stared at him for a moment, then swayed alarmingly; Madam Pomfrey, who seemed to have pulled herself together, ran forward, conjuring a chair from thin air, which she pushed under McGonagall.

“Snape,” repeated McGonagall faintly, falling into the chair. “We all wondered … but he trusted … always … Snape … I can’t believe it… .”

she already knew dumbledore was dead. the alarming swaying comes from her shock at the realization that it was severus who did it. 

“He always hinted that he had an ironclad reason for trusting Snape,” muttered Professor McGonagall, now dabbing at the corners of her leaking eyes with a tartan-edged handkerchief. “I mean … with Snape’s history … of course people were bound to wonder … but Dumbledore told me explicitly that Snape’s repentance was absolutely genuine… . Wouldn’t hear a word against him!”

and here we have an acknowledgment of dumbledore’s defense of severus. she clearly never knew the reason that dumbledore “hinted” at, but we can see that minerva had had explicit conversations with dumbledore on the topic, had tried to say words against him, and had ultimately chosen to accept dumbledore’s trust in him. 

but what really gets me is this:

“This is all my fault,” said Professor McGonagall suddenly. She looked disoriented, twisting her wet handkerchief in her hands. “My fault. I sent Filius to fetch Snape tonight, I actually sent for him to come and help us! If I hadn’t alerted Snape to what was going on, he might never have joined forces with the Death Eaters. I don’t think he knew they were there before Filius told him, I don’t think he knew they were coming.”

i won’t go on about how un-mcgonagall-like minerva’s acting here, bc i’ve already done that in the meta i linked, but here we can see, in the midst of her shock and grief, a disoriented minerva realizing that her own explicit trust in severus had led, in part, to dumbledore’s murder. i sent filius to fetch snape tonight. i don’t think he knew they were there before filius told him, i don’t think he knew they were coming. she’s trying to blame herself, but what she’s really blaming is the trust she had built up in severus, the trust she had spent years building – all of it, apparently, a lie.

that’s the thing. she’s shocked and devastated by dumbledore’s murder, is heavily grieving the loss of him, but she’s also harboring a personal sense of betrayal from severus. it isn’t just that he’s betrayed dumbledore, who vouched for him so adamantly, who had protected severus and believed in him for so many long years. it isn’t just that he’s turned his back on all decent wizardkind and slunk back, apparently, to his old ways, his old master. it isn’t just that he’s become an enemy of her cause.

he’s hurt her, personally. she does not trust easily, she does not forgive easily, but she gave him both, and he spat in the face of it. not only does she feel betrayed, feel blindsided, she feels stupid. stupid, for sitting next to him at the staff table for years, for teasing him about quidditch, for relying on him in a pinch, stupid for calling for him and for being grateful when he arrived. 

she had been fooled. and minerva hates playing the fool.

so yeah. it’s fair to say that, in the midst of her grief for dumbledore, is a terrible, bitter anger with severus. the trust is broken. the friendship is broken. those long years of camaraderie are soured. and it’s worse, now, the hatred she feels for him, worse than it ever was fifteen years ago, because this time it’s so much more personal. to have thought they were friends, and to have been so utterly wrong, is something she cannot forgive.

and then. yeah. she’s acting headmistress after dumbledore’s death. she should have been appointed headmistress. as horrible a situation it is, to have to succeed him because of his murder, she prepared herself for it, for the burden of it. she expected it. it was the natural order of things: as deputy headmistress, she was in the direct line to receive dumbledore’s position, and to do her best to use it to protect her students.

and then severus snape returns, with death eater cronies and the full backing of the ministry, and is announced headmaster. the position that should have been hers. the position that was only open because he had murdered its last occupant. he should have returned to hogwarts in chains; instead he could stroll through the door and own the place. yes, i think it’s fair to say that she didn’t take it well.

although i should probably be clear that – she didn’t protest, not forcefully. when a staff meeting was called with the ministry and board of governors to announce the staff changes at hogwarts, minerva did not stand and demand her position. she did not even complain about being stripped of her title of deputy headmistress. no, because as soon as she saw severus snape appear in the same room as ministry officials, with no moves made to arrest him, she understood the situation. she understood that there was no point, now, in protest. she understood that the ministry was wholly under the dark lord’s power, and that to make more than a token fuss was to risk being removed from hogwarts herself.

and just as in umbridge’s time as headmistress, minerva knew that she could not allow that to happen. now, more than ever, her students needed her, needed someone to stand between them and the death eaters running their school. her resolve there was set, though she felt a deep sadness at the thought that, even at the height of the dark lord’s power during the first war, hogwarts had never been breached. and now a death eater is headmaster, and all she can do is grit her teeth and accept it.

but you can be sure that she treated severus (and the carrows) with as much disdain as she was capable of. gone was any trace of warmth of friendship or respect towards severus. she obeyed his orders and interacted with the politeness due to his station – but only just, and always with an iciness, a haughty, contemptuous dignity that surpassed even her treatment of him when they had first become colleagues. this was the best weapon left to her: to treat severus as she treated her deepest enemies, as she had once treated umbridge – except that with umbridge, she could at least take satisfaction in intimidating umbridge, in testing her, in humiliating her where possible. with severus, there was no satisfaction, there were no games of power played. they were far beyond that. they understood each other too well for that. there was only the cold hatred, the betrayal, and the singular understanding that minerva would do everything in her power to protect her students from him.

(and, may i add, i do believe that precisely this reaction from minerva was pretty much essential to severus maintaining his cover at hogwarts. i’ll draw one last quote from the meta i linked: “if there was one person who absolutely had to believe that snape’s treachery was genuine, it was minerva mcgonagall. because she was the person at hogwarts who would oppose him most openly. because righteous anger like hers can’t be faked. if minerva seemed in any way like she trusted snape, or doubted his motives, his cover would come under suspicion. she had to oppose him, and she had to do it genuinely, and she had to protect her students with everything she had. and for that, dumbledore’s death had to come as a shock and a betrayal.” and so it did.)

[wanderingthroughwickford]

Leo Fitz, Cedric Diggory, and the “Evil in another Reality” Trope: A Comparison

I’ve been trying to pinpoint exactly why DeathEater!Cedric in The Cursed Child infuriates and disgusts me so much, while at the same time I consider HYDRA!Fitz in Agents of Shield Season 4 to have been an interesting and memorable (while still upsetting) storyline. I think I’ve narrowed it down to three reasons – one major, two relatively minor. I was originally just going to post this as a couple paragraphs, but somehow it morphed into an essay? That I’m giving an overly-serious title and posting in the tags even though I don’t really want it to get much attention? 

I’m aware these are both pretty controversial plot twists in their respective fandoms, and I’m just going to state here and now that I don’t want to get into any debates or arguments or “well actually”s about this. Everyone can have their own opinions, that’s fine, but I’m trying to lay my thoughts out so that I can make sense of them (and work through a bit of the discomfort I feel over seemingly having a double-standard between these two characters). 

Looong post and Cursed Child negativity under the cut:

The major difference between these two plotlines, in my opinion, is the level of control the characters had over their actions. Yes, I know that AoS itself has been kind of pushing this whole “Fitz made his own decisions” thing, but … I just don’t buy that, both from what we know of Fitz and from the situation the writers themselves set up. I’m not saying he was brainwashed or mind-controlled like, say, Bucky Barnes, or Daisy in the Hive arc, but I think the reality lies somewhere in between. When AIDA and Radcliffe plug each of the characters into the Framework, they erase their greatest regret, profoundly transforming that person’s ‘life’ and personality in the virtual world. Right away their arcs are characterized by a lack of choice – it was never Fitz’s decision to keep his father in his life; it was Radcliffe’s and AIDA’s. One might say (and I think the show suggests) that, while that’s true, every decision that Framework!Fitz makes after that is his own. And yeah, that’s fair. But the important point is that Fitz himself had no say in becoming Framework!Fitz - so can he really be held accountable for his avatar’s actions?

We can never say with certainty that, in the real world, being raised by his abusive father would make Fitz evil himself. Yes, we see this happen in the Framework, but the Framework is a computer program designed by an evil, all-powerful magic book with a nasty tendency of destroying the morals and eventually lives of those using it. The persona of Framework!Fitz is what this program predicted Fitz would become in these circumstances – but since he himself has never lived through these situations, only experienced them through false implanted memories, one cannot claim to know how he really would have reacted. And moreover, while AIDA claims that she simply ‘adapted’ herself to the world created by the Framework, I have a really hard time believing that she didn’t have some hand in designing it. It would be too much of a coincidence for Framework!Fitz to become a scientist experimenting upon Inhumans/replicating their powers when all along AIDA wanted a body with Inhuman powers for herself. So I see Framework!Fitz as, at most, what Fitz could have been had things gone drastically different, but not necessarily what he would have been – and certainly not who he is. 

With Cedric in The Cursed Child, none of these outside interferences exist. In the bad future, he becomes a Death Eater entirely of his own volition. This takes place within the normal Harry Potter world, albeit in a slightly altered timeline, not in a virtual parallel universe run by artificial intelligence.

Now for the two more minor reasons that Cedric’s storyline bugs me while Fitz’s doesn’t. While Framework!Fitz’s circumstances still do not excuse his actions, they explain his turn to the dark side much better than Cedric’s do. In the Framework, Fitz’s avatar has been raised not by his loving mother, but by his cruel, demanding, and ruthless father, in a world where HYDRA is the widely-accepted government. Being raised since birth in an environment devoid of morals and compassion doesn’t necessarily /have/ to turn out an evil person, of course, and it cannot justify their actions – but it at least serves as some sort of explanation as to how that person turned out the way they did.

In the bad timeline of the Cursed Child, Cedric has no such backstory. Nothing of his life is changed – his personality is still the same, his morals are still intact – until the point when he is humiliated in front of the school at age 17. The book seriously expects the reader to believe that a character who had been defined by his integrity, maturity, and commitment to fair play, who had a strong base of friendship and support from his classmates, and who was in his penultimate year of high school anyways, would have willingly joined a violent extremist cult simply because of some schoolyard teasing. At most, I could see Cedric becoming bitter and resentful of Harry, but there’s still a huge gap between ‘jerk’ and ‘murderous terrorist.’ And even in circumstances where he didn’t like Harry much, I still can’t see him not giving his all in the fight against Voldemort.

The final reason for my opinion lies in the way each of these two works treats the character’s turn to villainy. While Agents of Shield is a bit ambivalent on how much responsibility Framework!Fitz bears for his actions, everything becomes clear after Fitz has been freed from the Framework. We see the good, caring person we know and love return – and he is beyond horrified at what his virtual self has done. Throughout all of season 4C, a lot of time is dedicated to the fact that the characters cannot believe Fitz is capable of these actions. Once the cast gets back to the real world, he is treated with forgiveness and compassion by his fellow main characters and by the narrative itself. The gang makes sure he knows that they will stand by him no matter what.

Conversely, in The Cursed Child, there is virtually no emotional weight to Cedric’s betrayal. For an event that completely altered the fate of the Harry Potter universe, there’s amazingly little thought or care put into actually addressing it. It’s a throwaway plot point. Nobody acts like it’s a shock that Cedric could have done these things; nobody is personally affected by his actions in any way that relates back to him. Heck, we never even see him in the bad future! I get that Albus and Scorpius are the main characters and they obviously never knew Cedric, so I’m not expecting them to have had a huge reaction to it, but … something, on the part of any character, would have been nice. And the worst part is, when we actually get to see ‘real’ Cedric during the maze scene, he acts so laughably OOC that you could honestly believe he is the sort of arrogant, self-obsessed person to become a Death Eater over a minor slight! Everything about his story in The Cursed Child just screams of lack of caring, and honestly feels like a slap in the face.

So anyway, I think those are the basic reasons why I can accept Fitz’s arc but not Cedric’s. It’s all about the intent – with Fitz’s, it seems like the creators went in with great love for the character, trying to explore the idea of him being a vastly different person and how this would affect him and his loved ones. With Cedric’s, it seems like they decided to make him turn evil just so they could have a ‘bad future’ AU. I don’t think either character would willingly join HYDRA or the Death Eaters if they were free to make their own choices, but given the way everything is set up, I can accept Fitz’s turn (in the context of the Framework) but never Cedric’s.

I know that a lot of people were really disappointed by Fitz’s Framework arc – and that’s completely understandable. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t shaken up myself; this post is in part my way of sorting through my emotions around it, even half a year after it happened. And on the other hand I know that some people were okay with Cedric’s arc in Cursed Child, and that’s fine, too! I’m glad if you could enjoy the story and get something out of it that I couldn’t. But these are just my opinions, and I’m not to challenge anyone with them or to have them challenged; I just want to put them out there.

As a final observation, maybe The Cursed Child itself is a reason why I’m okay with Agents of Shield 4C – because the “beloved character is evil in an alternate timeline/reality” plot was already done so poorly there that anything AoS cooked up would have looked good by comparison. :P

[sailormiyoung89]

I’ve been wanting to do a Harry Potter read through for a while now but have never really had a lot of time and…frankly I don’t know if I can really add a lot to the discussion that hasn’t already been said. But to heck with it! May as well! XD

Quick warning: I have read the series countless times – this is NOT my first read through and I WILL make frequent references to things that occur in future books – possibly as well as Pottermore, companion books and JK Rowling’s comments in interviews and on her twitter.

If you have somehow not read the series yet, please do not read this! Instead, I would highly recommend reading the books. Once you have inevitably fallen in love with the series, come back to me and we can gush about it together! :D

Quick introduction if you’re reading this and have no idea who I am, I’m Leigh! I’m a Hufflepuff and my patronus is a mink. I never actually did the Ilvermorny test – I considered it but if I was to attend one of the great schools, I would be attending Hogwarts (or Queen Maeve’s school if that’s still around. Personally I like to believe it is. The big ones we have names for ARE just the most prestigious after all). Anyhow, basically I just never bothered with finding my Ilvermorny house as it wouldn’t really apply to me anyhow….

Anyway, lets just jump into this! I plan on reviewing a chapter at a time for the moment. I don’t know how often I’ll post new reviews but I’m aiming to do 1 a week for now J (although I imagine it’d take me years to cover the series at that pace so hopefully I will post more often than that at times).

Chapter 1 – The boy who lived.

One of the very few non-Harry POV chapters (I think 5? Poor Frank Bryce in the beginning of Goblet, The Other Minister in Half-Blood, Narcissa and Bellatrix’s meeting with Snape, also half blood and the death eater meeting in Hallows!). Actually, I think out of the five Other POV chapters, this might be my least favourite. Frank > The Other Minister > Narcissa & Snape > Death Eater Meeting > this one.

I think one thing that’s fascinating is just how young these characters are to be so..established. If I remember correctly, Petunia is a year younger than Lily who was 21 when she died. So Petunia’s 20, married, owns a house and has a one year old child. Which would also have made Petunia a teen mum – the sort of person that you would THINK the Dursleys would look down on.

“Mr Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made drills.”

And as much as we all dislike the Dursleys, it is impressive how well Vernon has done in his career. I don’t think we’re ever given the impression that Vernon Dursley is much older than Petunia and yet he’s the director of his company. In his early 20s….man, does that make me feel like a complete an utter failure!

“Mrs. Potter was Mrs. Dursley’s sister, but they hadn’t met for several years; in fact, Mrs. Dursley pretended she didn’t have a sister.”

Casual reminder that for all Petunia’s seeming loathing for her sister, they were exchanging letters and gifts in secret. In many ways, Petunia and Vernon seem made for each other – apart from them both being pretty nasty, they do seem to work pretty well together as a couple; but the fact that her husband doesn’t even know that Petunia maintains correspondence with Lily also seems really…REALLY unhealthy!

I know JK is highlighting Dudley’s tantrum to contrast him against his sweet, angelic orphan cousin but considering Dudley’s a year old here, it seems rather ridiculous and judgmental on JO’S part to condemn him for this.

“wearing an emerald-green clock!”

There is a really fascinating piece on Pottermore called ‘Colours’ which everyone should read. Despite the rather uninteresting title, the content is really interesting. The most magical colours are purple (the colour that we see on Dumbledore most frequently, if I’m not mistaken) and green - green representing rebirth, death and misfortune. Apt clothing choice on the part of this wizard given Voldemort’s apparent death! J Later in this chapter, Vernon knocks into another wizard who is wearing a purple cloak.

“And the old man hugged Mr. Dursley around the middle and walked off”.

I don’t think Jo’s ever said who this old man is, but I low key headcanon that this was Dedalus Diggle, the wizard who bow to Harry in a shop when Harry was a child. We also know that that night, he was suspected to have been responsible for the shooting stars which appeared on the news.

Actually, rather aside from the point but given that Diggle and other wizards appear around Harry, I tend to assume that the blood connection charm around Harry and the Dursleys worked and  that Death Eaters and other followers of Voldemort would have tried and failed to attack Harry and Privet drive in Harry’s childhood unbeknownst to them.

“The newscaster allowed himself a grin. ”Most Mysterious.”

Ted Tonks you little shit! Someone’s enjoying being the only one in the station in the know as to what’s going on.

“Harry. Nasty, common name, if you ask me.”

Clearly Petunia wasn’t consulted by the Royal Palace considering this is ’81 and Prince Harry was born in ’84…actually because I’m a dummy with no life, I googled it. The name ‘Harry’ had been steadily declining in popularity since the 1940s. And then Prince Harry was born and for the first time in decades, the name became more popular. Petunia must have been furious!

Anywho, back to Potter!

Thank goodness JK retconned the ‘put-outer’, renaming it the Deluminator. Perhaps Dumbledore had only JUST invented it and was still looking for a good name!

Given that Mcgonagall says that the news of Voldemort’s demise at Harry’s hands are ‘rumors’ and rather than say that Voldemort is dead, opts for the word ‘disappeared’, it seems that, like Dumbledore, McGonagall doesn’t believe that Voldemort is dead. Hagrid later mentions that Dumbledore doesn’t believe that Voldemort is really dead – just biding his time, so it makes you wonder – has McGonagall since changed her mind or is she simply less vocal about her belief about Voldemort? Or is it JUST because McGonagall hasn’t come up at all in conversation yet?

McGonagall’s grief over Lily and James’ deaths really gets to me. She’s known them since they were 11. She’s watched them grow up. McGonagall is very motherly to Harry and the other kids in her house and I can only assume this was true for Lily and James too.

“We’ve had precious little to celebrate for eleven years”

and

“All this ‘You-Know-Who’ nonsense – for eleven years I have been trying to persuade people to call him by his proper name”

pretty clearly establishes that Voldemort was in power from the years 1970-1981. I don’t know if there’s any significance to the number ‘11’ but it is interesting that Voldemort first reappears in this book, when Harry is 11 years old.

I can’t help but wonder if Dumbledore’s golden watch has functions similar to Molly Weasley’s clock. Of course, it has planets on it rather than names or faces but perhaps that’s because it’s SUPPOSED to be rather cryptic. I think rather than family, on his watch are members of the Order. It allows him to see which Order members are travelling, dead or in ‘mortal peril’ and therefore he knows when they might need backup or when they’re travelling and therefore their mission might have gone on without a hitch. Therefore it’s very important that the watch only be understood by Albus least anything happen to him and the watch fall into the wrong hands. Maybe I’m thinking far too much about a watch which I don’t believe we ever see again but oh well! :D

A lot of people seem to believe Lily’s protection and the blood protection spell are the same thing. Just a reminder, Lily’s protection was cast over Harry with her death and prevents Voldemort from harming Harry. The protection spell links Harry to Privet Drive through Lily’s blood. It’s NOT part of Lily’s protection though. It was cast by Dumbledore and is in place as long as he calls Privet Drive home. And you know, if Dumbledore wasn’t such an ass, I’m sure he could’ve thought of a much better solution than tying Harry to the Dursleys. For example, Sirius. Sirius is Harry’s legal godfather. Surely he could’ve cast a spell that played on the legal aspect to tie Harry to someone who actually cared about his wellbeing and would see to it that Harry grew up in a happy, loving home – and you know, would actually tell Harry stories about Lily and James and show him photos of his parents….not that I’m bitter or anything Dumbles…

“Young Sirius Black lent it to me.”

As much as Cursed Child would like us to forget that Sirius was there, lets all remember that his world was falling apart as well. We know that the Marauders had fallen apart a little – none of them trusted Lupin and believed him to be the spy. So to find out that the only friends you have left were murdered and betrayed by your only other friends…I don’t blame Sirius for laughing hysterically when Peter escaped him the next day. What a great birthday eve for poor Sirius!

I know the fandom talks a lot about the missing hours between Hagrid picking Harry up from Godric’s Hallow in the morning and appearing with him at Privet Drive that night (personally I like the headcanon that Hagrid brought baby Harry to some celebratory parties as the guest of honour), but seriously, what about the missing hours between Voldemort killing Lily and James the night before (early enough for there to be children trick-or-treating for Voldemort to contemplate murdering) and the morning? No one, muggle or magical hears the explosion that destroyed the Potter house? Or the screaming baby that would’ve been lying in the rubble all night? Even if we assume that no one heard the explosion because of the fidelius charm (although the explosion was when he tried to kill Harry. The fidelius charm would’ve broken with James and Lilys’ deaths), NO ONE heard the screaming baby? NO ONE?! Bathilda was right next door – idk what sleeping pills she must’ve been on to have missed poor baby Harry all night but...any chance you could share some Bathilda? When my stress and anxiety is high, I get really bad insomnia. Pills strong enough to help you sleep through the next door house being blown up might be helpful.

“But I c-c-can’t stand it – Lily an’ James dead – an’ poor Harry off ter live with Muggles-“

Although Hagrid lives on the school grounds and the trio and Ginny are good friends with Hagrid, most of the kids at school don’t befriend Hagrid.  I think it’s sweet that Lily and James obviously seemed to have been pretty good friends with Hagrid as well – enough for Hagrid to mourn them rather than celebrate like most of the wizarding community are.

he would be woken in a few hours' time by Mrs. Dursley's scream 

Seriously though, between the missing 24ish hours and Dumbledore leaving Harry on the doorstep overnight in early NOVEMBER, it’s nothing short of a miracle that baby Harry didn’t catch pneumonia...

So...yeah :) That’s chapter 1, if you have anything to add to the discussion, I’d love to hear from you :) Otherwise, I’ll be back in a few days with chapter 2.

Bye!  ❤

[torestoreamends]

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Show Recap: 24/06/17 – Part One

This got so long (17,000 words in total), that I’ve split it into Part One and Part Two. Obviously this is Part One, and you can find Part Two here. 

*

There are a couple of statements I've made in the past that I'd like to address at the start of this recap. 

The first was that I never thought I'd never see the 3rd and 4th of November 2016 show matched in terms of quality or emotion. I'd like to retract that. It was matched, in a very new and different way, and if this is what the cast are doing a month in then I dread to think what sort of shows we're going to see in a few months' time. 

The second, from my first recap of this cast, was that one day Theo would come out and steal the show. I could tell from the flashes of potential that he showed. I didn't know when it would happen, but I said I hoped I would be in that theatre the day it happened. And I'm overjoyed to say that my wish has already come true. That was a whole other level. 

There are some shows that are just special, on some indefinable level. There's an electricity to them, and every single person on the stage seems to sense it and step up their game. I have no idea why they happen. I've been trying to figure out the rule for picking the best shows for the last year. But I think in the end sometimes you just get lucky enough to sit in a theatre and watch a cast collect together as a unit and deliver something that is intensely and beautifully moving. And that was this performance. 

I walked out of Part One in tears, because I've seen this cast come so far in such a short time, and I was so proud and relieved and delighted that the show finally feels polished and detailed and ready. In fact, it feels extraordinary. 

And so, onto some details. I could talk about the cast individually, but I think you'll get the idea as we go along. Let's do this. 

*

Act One 

Scenes One and Two

The first thing I remember about this performance was Theo's voice as he came storming onto the stage for the first line. I think that moment set the tone for the whole thing. It made a real impression, and from that second on, Theo was Albus, wholly and completely, in a way that I have never seen before from any Albus. More on that later (or we'll never make it any further than the first line).

Rupert was really great in this whole show. Brilliant as James, and even better as Cedric later on. I think what was clear from the get go was that this was going to be a show where everyone was bringing it. Sometimes you can tell from the first scene, and this was one of those.

Emma made a really huge impression on me right from the start. I said in my last recap that I loved her a lot, but she wasn't Ginny for me, so this time I was delighted to see that she really was Ginny. There were so many tiny bits of interaction in this scene between her and the rest of the family that I loved. At one point she went over to tell James and Ron off for laughing at Albus, and I adored the interaction between her and Albus and Harry. She was brilliant. 

I can't go a single scene without mentioning Mackley. I noticed him after the transition to Platform 9 and 3/4 just twirling round and round and enjoying his robes. 

You know you're going to get a good show when Harry and Albus give each other a huge hug on the station, and this was one of those. I thought it would never end. It was beautiful. 

Myself and one of my friends came up with a theory that Jamie G's Harry only has physical contact with Albus in the first and last scenes. While this isn't actually accurate, those are the only moments where Albus actively allows his dad to touch him, which is really heartbreaking. 

Scene Three

Helen played Rose's bits at the beginning of this scene a little less wild and excitable than normal, which I actually quite liked. She was great through the whole of the scene really. Brilliant job.

I noticed that James ends up sitting in a carriage with Madame Hooch and Professor Nuno (his character doesn't have a name I know of, so that's the best I can do). They had the most adorable interaction. Nuno kissed Madame Hooch's hand, and James giggled at the pair of them. Definitely some sort of budding professorial romance going on there. 

This is the part where I start talking about Theo. Strap in. 

So I've always loved how Albus lights up like the sun when he sees Scorpius for the first time, and in this performance it was beautiful to see. Last time I saw the show all I could see for most of it was the back of Theo's head, but I'm glad I was sitting on the opposite side of the auditorium for this one, because his face is just so expressive. He does the typical Albus crinkly-eyed smile right from the start, but it's mixed with amusement and excitement and a dozen other things. For example, when Scorpius asks if they'd like some Fizzing Whizbees, he took a step forward with his eyes all wide and enthusiastic, and he kept nodding, because of course he wants sweets. He's not allowed them at home. 

One thing to note in this scene, there were two handshakes between Scorpius and Albus. There was one little one at "That's okay. Hi!" and I was almost disappointed that it was so short, because they've been going on for so long recently. But then they grabbed hands again and did this really long and enthusiastic handshake while they were introducing themselves. 

I will never be over how indignant Samuel's Scorpius gets when his mum is accused of being a Death Eater. He's determined at all times to protect her, and it's beautiful. 

I really enjoy how, once the boys start talking, once Rose is gone, they're left alone in their little world. It's like for a moment nothing else exists. They have these solitary moments on the train, and I love that they can be that for each other. The place where the rest of the world melts away and they don't have to worry for a while. 

I still adore how Theo really thinks about whether he wants to be called Albus or Al. The thinking was less pronounced in this show than it was during the first, and I actually liked that even more, because while he does still carefully consider, it's also a very positive and almost obvious choice for him to go with Albus. 

Transition Scene 

This performance was a master class in how to pick up things which have been dropped on stage while remaining in character. I was really impressed with how the cast handled all four of the incidents, the first two of which happened in this scene. 

Somehow a book (Scorpius's book?) ended up on the floor near where the sorting was happening, and Sarah ran past and grabbed it on the way into the flying lesson scene. Then later, the balled up Hogsmeade Permission Form fell out of Theo's pocket during the wand dance, so Mackley picked it up and taunted him with it. "You dropped your piece of paper!" 

I love how during the sorting, McGonagall has her hands on the boys' shoulders, and gives them each a gentle shove towards the front when it's their turn. It's both caring and firm. Perfect for her. 

The energy in this transition scene was just phenomenal. It came from everyone, and it was fantastic. It felt palpable. 

Rose's 'up!' didn't work in the flying lesson, but Helen handled it really well. In the end she just snatched the broom up and looked defiantly around at everyone. She's Rose Granger-Weasley, of course this is meant to work! No one would dare say a word against her Quidditch abilities. 

Scorpius gave Albus a commiseratory little shake of the head at the end of the flying lesson, like he was sorry he couldn't have helped. 

Rupert did the classic Milligan "Da-ad!" which I've not seen him do before. 

If anyone ever has the fortune of sitting near @the-eighth-story for the show, just watch her reactions whenever James Howard is on stage. They're classic. You will not be disappointed. 

Have I mentioned yet that James Howard is literally the perfect Draco? From his upright manner and silky voice, to the way he perfectly balances seriousness and comedy. It's a really amazing performance. 

There was a really nice bit of interaction between Samuel and Theo during the potion brewing. I loved the concentration with which Albus added the horn of Bicorn, and the little nod Scorpius gave him. They were both trying so hard to focus on it, but it was impossible. 

There's so much pain and resentment in the way Theo says "Everything", and it's the perfect set up for the next little scene. Albus's little tirade there was beautiful. It's not vindictive like Sam's was, nothing Theo's Albus does is vindictive, instead it comes from an intense inner pain. Most of what Theo's Albus does comes from there in fact. 

The way Mark delivered the second Sorting Hat speech was really captivating. I've never before felt so strongly that the Hat was addressing the audience. That first line draw me in so much, and there's such a weight to "you'll learn to laugh if first you sob". I've said it before and I'll keep saying it, I love so many of the things Mark does. And maybe this was the point where I began to be sucked more into the story than I was into watching the acting. 

There was a distinct difference between this show and the last I saw. Last time I was just excited to see the actors doing well. This time I forgot all about anyone doing well and I was mesmerised, for the first time in a year, in the story and in the characters. That was what made it so powerful. The ability to forget that I'd seen this play so many times and just become absorbed in what was going on. 

Mackley is a really great dancer. I used to enjoy watching Jack North in this scene because I appreciated his movement and his commitment, and I feel the same about Mackley, both in this scene and in others. 

"I didn't choose, you know that?" was so broken. An outpouring of anguish. The softness and pain of Theo's Albus makes him exceptionally sympathetic. 

Scene Six

I don't know for sure if Barry was aware that this was the anniversary of Cedric's death (I know Rupert did), but this was definitely one of his most potent performances ever. He's always excellent, and seems to constantly raise his level, but this one had some real bite to it. 

I loved the beginning to the Delphi and Albus chat on the stairs a lot. Annabel didn't do the usual thing of threatening Albus with her wand, instead it was clear right from the start that she was joking around with the "I'm a thief" stuff. It made the interaction a touch more relaxed, and Albus was just amused by her presence right from the start. 

I was a bit sad I couldn't see all of Theo's listening on the stairs routine because of the angle I was at, but I caught the end of it. This cast does some exceptional background acting. More on that later. 

When Delphi goes off to join the Amos and Harry conversation, she gives Albus a little robot wave, and it's really adorable. 

Scene Seven 

I've noticed that in the transition into the blanket scene (and at another moment too, although I can't remember which one, maybe it's in Godric's Hollow?) Theo walks right to the front of the stage and has a moment of connection with the audience. I don't think Sam ever did that on such a noticeable level. I'm still not sure what I think of it. On the one hand I like the direct expression of emotion, but at the same time I wish the focus went straight into the next scene. 

I absolutely loved Ginny's love for her kids at the beginning of this scene. When James came storming through with pink hair she was clearly trying not to smile too much and encourage him, but she didn't seem able to help herself. I also loved the little interaction between Ginny and Harry, when Harry was on his way into the room.

Theo looks so tiny when he's sitting cross-legged on the bed. Tiny and forlorn. 

This is probably a good time to talk about Albus's pain! So I've noticed that Theo takes a very different approach to this scene than Sam used to. Sam's Albus was always a bit vindictive, provocative even. He used to try and almost goad his dad, and the result was that it backfired spectacularly on him. But with Theo, you get a sense that he doesn't want to be arguing, he doesn't want to be fighting, but he doesn't have a choice. He needs his dad to understand how miserable he is, and if shouting is the only way to do it then that's what he'll do. There are moments when you can see Harry's words hurting him and forcing him to take drastic action, for example the packing line, and "I'm not going to rise to your bait". It's brilliant and heartbreaking. I absolutely love the genuine, in the moment emotion that Theo brings to Albus. He was living Albus in this show, and it was amazing.

Another script difference I've noticed in this scene between the two Jamies is: "And maybe I could come and find you -- and it -- on Hallows' Eve". Jamie P used to put the emphasis on Albus (it and you), whereas Jamie G does it by the book. While I adored Jamie P's way of doing it, I equally love the line the other way around, and it works for this father-son relationship. Jamie G's Harry doesn't realise that Albus might want to be found on Hallows' Eve. He makes it sound like it's all about the blanket. And I can imagine that that aches for Albus, and leads to him wanting to end the conversation before it hurts any more. 

I love how Theo's Albus doesn't get up off the bed until things really start to get heated ("Should we bow now, or will a curtsey do?")

The only thing I wanted more of from Theo in this scene was a tiny bit more of an explosion on the second "What?" I like the variation, and the build through that line. Otherwise it was a really exceptional performance. I can't handle having an Albus and Scorpius who can both cry when needed, but that's what we've got, and we're all going to have to learn to deal with it. Somehow. I'd recommend taking lots of tissues to the theatre with you. 

I loved the end of this scene. The most explosive I've seen from both of them. There's a really great gritty quality to Jamie's voice when he shouts. It's more roaring than shouting, and it was used to really great effect here. Theo's shouting is also A+. They don't get nearly as close to each other as Jamie P and Sam did, but that really isn't a problem for me. That distance suits them and their relationship. I don't think Theo's Albus could stand having his dad screaming in his face. It might break him. It's bad enough as it is. 

Albus reels back after Harry's line, and Harry is full of this instant regret. He seems desperate to take it all back right away (just like Draco is desperate to take back slamming Scorpius to the desk in the Voldy timeline), but Albus is already shattered. 

When Albus throws the blanket onto the bed he pauses for a moment and looks at it before running away, like he's considering what he's just done, how he's just disparaged the gift from his dad and what that might mean. But then he seems to decide he's in too much pain to care so he storms out. I love the extra time he takes on that moment. It puts the perfect cap on the scene, and emphasises the importance of the moment when Albus throws the blanket onto the bed. It definitely seems like an action he'd remember. 

Scene Eight 

I'm delighted to report that Mark can definitely now walk down the stairs in those Hagrid shoes. 

Harrison is still my favourite little Harry. At the end of the scene, when the stairs were being wheeled off, he sat down and looked at the cake he'd been given in amazement, trying to take in all this new information he'd just been told. He's a brilliant little actor. 

Scene Nine

I loved Emma's delivery of "yeah, maybe don't be that honest". Perfectly dry, perfectly Ginny. 

This is the first time in the show that Harry hears that Albus just wants to see the real him. It takes him so long for it to actually sink in. The way this whole cast support that arc is brilliant, and it all serves to make the eventual reconciliation all the sweeter. 

It's such a cute little Hinny moment when Harry puts his hand on Ginny's knee as he explains that the quote is from Dumbledore, and then she puts her hand over his. 

Scenes Ten and Eleven 

Poor Mackley is sitting in a carriage all on his own. Why does Karl have no friends? Someone go and sit with him! 

This was the scene where the boys really started nailing it as a pair. There was already so much energy coming out of the transition scene, but here it started to fly. 

Helen is just brilliant. I love her sweet, caring, young-seeming Rose. There's a lovely quality there. She perfectly suits the two boys. They all have this really young, innocent feel to them. And I really do enjoy how she's trying to bond with Albus in this scene and he's having none of it. He keeps pulling away and looking down the corridor to find Scorpius until the moment when he finally breaks through. 

It's beautiful how Albus goes from irritable, jaw all set and square when he's talking to Rose, to just breaking into a huge smile the second he sees Scorpius. It's like he opens up around Scorpius. He spends so much time breaking inside, as does Scorpius, and the moment they're together they can just forget everything for a little bit.  

Albus absolutely despairs of Scorpius during the little bread rant. He keeps looking at him and shaking his head as if to say no, stop, you're embarrassing yourself. But Scorpius pays no attention and ploughs on. 

I don't know about anyone else, but I find it really entertaining to watch the preparation for the hug. I always notice so clearly how Samuel sits down for a brief moment, then stands up again. This is one of the moments where his flaily little hand gestures really shine. 

The hug itself is just perfect, because Albus couldn't be more committed to it if he tried, whereas Scorpius doesn't hug back. I also love the intensity of Samuel's "Do we hug?" There's a bit of pointing between the two of them, and his tone just says 'Albus Severus Potter stop being weird'.

When Albus climbs up onto the roof, Scorpius remained in the train for a moment, looking really hesitant and frustrated. He gestured like he was seriously considering strangling Albus for his impulsiveness, but that he also knew he couldn't leave Albus to his fate, so he followed him. 

Sandy is fantastic as the trolley witch. I don't think I've said this nearly enough. I love her accent, and I love the familiarity of her performance. Also, in this show I noticed the hand swipe she does towards Albus and Scorpius after the jump, which I don't think I've noticed for a while. 

I can't help but wonder whether Scorpius will later take immense pleasure in being right about the train being magical. I can just imagine him during the trek to St Oswald's complaining to Albus, reminding him over and over again of just how bad a idea the whole thing was. 

Samuel did a tiny hesitation before saying Molliare, like Scorpius still thought it was a terrible idea to jump. 

On a partially related note, wouldn't you just love the chance to try diving onto one of those mats in the wings? They always look so squishy and comfy. 

Scene Twelve

I can't tell you much about what the majority of people were up to in this scene because I was watching a. James Howard, and b. @the-eighth-story‘s reactions to James Howard. I'm still not sure which I enjoyed more. 

I've always noticed the group of elder statesmen who arrive through the middle of the scene towards the end of the transition (the Sorting Hat and co), but this time I noticed an equally important looking group of women arriving in from one of the wings which made me happy. I've never seen them before. 

Did I mention Josh's moustache last time? Josh is wearing a fake moustache in this scene and it's hilarious. 

Also, I'm not sure if I've mentioned this already, but I love the little Weasley siblings interaction around Hermione's speech about the battle of Hogwarts. When the subject comes up, Ron comes over and touches Ginny's arm, and they put their arms round each other. It's the perfect way of showing how they're still grieving the loss of their brother. I like that that moment is just about applauding the victory, when so much of this play is about Harry's baggage and the people who died for The Boy Who Lived. I should watch Jamie specifically during that moment next time, because I'm certain he has an equally sombre reaction. 

I say I was only watching James, but clearly that wasn't true cause I distinctly remember Nicola being one of the people who leads the charge from the room. I'm not sure which side she was on (maybe she was on no one's side), but Draco was yelling directly at her at one point, and then she stormed off. 

Alright. Let's talk about James. I love the desolation and anger in his face. I love how you can see Draco's frustration building and building until he can't contain himself. His 'my scar is hurting' this time was a classic. The first time through the phrase was about the normal level of mockery, but he escalated it when he repeated it. I simply adore the posh voice he puts on, that's the perfect slight on Jamie's Harry. At some point I should watch some reactions to that, but I doubt it'll happen any time soon. 

One of the things I like most is how James specifically addresses "his celebrity impacts upon you all" to Ron, and to Ginny, but mostly Ron. It's warning and goading all at once, and it's great. 

Emma's "the sports pages" was super fierce this time and I enjoyed it immensely. 

Scene Thirteen and Fourteen 

I'm pleased to report that I've finally got over the disappointment of the kids not playing the inmates of St Oswald's. Although I'm still a bit upset that we don't get to see James P and Mackley and April and all the rest run around pretending to be old people, the adults are totally smashing it, and it's nice that they get something fun to do in the play that really features them. Also I'm never not going to be a fan of anything that involves Martin in a dress, or that allows Nuno to stretch his acting wings for a bit. 

I still love how Delphi summons Amos's wall, and I equally love that the boys aren't scared when she does it. They really do trust her, even Scorpius. I never feel the intense dislike from Samuel's Scorpius that I did from Anthony's. 

The scene in Amos's room is absolutely one of Theo's top three or four scenes. He's just incredible at it. Each time I've seen it Albus has been filled with more and more confidence and authority. This time around he spent the whole of Amos's speech trying to interrupt and explain himself until the moment when he couldn't handle it anymore and barged his way into the conversation. 

I used to spend this whole scene just watching Scorpius's background reactions, but right now Albus is just as interesting as he gets increasingly more frustrated. It's Amos's accusation of relying on his famous name that gets him most riled up and wanting to defend himself. 

By the way, has anyone else noticed the parallel between Scorpius in this scene and in the maze? In this scene he's questioning whether they're ready to risk their lives, but in the maze scene he's the one suggesting it. I love that character growth. The events of Acts Two and Three have such an impact on him.

Scene Fifteen 

This was another of the great Emma scenes from this show. I think after the first show there were a lot of comments going around about how she and Tom don't feel like siblings, but they definitely do. Their banter in this scene is lovely, and I really enjoy how she's taking care of the whole family here. 

Tom's reaction to "I will tell Mum" was brilliant. Ron looks all taken aback with her, like there's no higher threat and he can't believe she'd stoop so low. 

Scene Sixteen 

I've mentioned this before, but I love how jittery Delphi gets in this scene. She's constantly tapping her feet and glancing at the clock, and looking around to check they're not being watched. I was about to say it's the first sign of Delphi's true nature, but that's not actually true. One of the cool details of Annabel's performance is that when she's in the background of the earlier scenes with her hood up, she's constantly watching Albus. She was on the platform at one point, keeping an eye on him. Really sinister. 

The Polyjuice transitions were super smooth during this show. Last time I saw it I think Rakie's head got a bit stuck, and it took ages for her to find the hole of the robes, but this one worked really well, and it was the same for the boys too. 

One of the things this cast does really well is how in character the adults are as the kids. Rakie in particular is totally channelling Delphi once she's transformed. She does a lot of Delphi's giggling and tongue sticking out. She was going for it so much in this performance that I actually couldn't focus on the boys' dialogue before their transformations. 

This is another scene where the original cast did not stick to the script. Every time Jamie G says "I be him and you be Ron" I panic that he's got the line wrong, but nope. Jamie P just said it in his own random order. 

Scene Seventeen

I finally managed to pay attention to Harry's reaction to the "My son is missing!" exchange. He sort of buries his face in his hands, like the full enormity of what's happened is hitting him, and he's realising that this really is all his fault because of what he said to Albus. He's finally said it out loud, and now he regrets it more than ever. 

James's Draco never makes it to the word "heir". He doesn't need a look from Ginny or anyone else to know that Scorpius is so much more than his heir. Scorpius is his family, his son, and he's heartbroken by the loss of him. 

Scenes Eighteen and Nineteen 

I have several favourite things from the baby or a holiday scene. 

Number one -- I love that Albus has clearly never kissed anyone before. He goes in with his arms pressed to his sides and it's the most awkward thing ever. 

Number two -- The way Tom plays Albus's reaction to kissing Hermione. He goes off into his own little corner and starts wiping his lips and pulling the most disgusted face. 

Number three -- (I promise these aren't all Tom things.) The forlorn way Albus stands in the doorway, hands by his sides, head bowed, looking small and like he doesn't know what to do and he doesn't quite dare stand up to his aunt. 

Number four -- Jamie Glover is absolutely spectacular at the end of this scene. One of the best comedic moments of the whole play actually. He plays it perfectly. When the attention switches to him he looks between Ron and Hermione like he's absolutely appalled and has no idea what he just saw happen, then he walks really stiffly away, like 'this didn't just happen... I'm not scarred for life... everything is fine'. It's hilarious. 

I've just realised the one thing that the original cast did by the script but the new cast don't! Rakie never leaves the stage before the "you are off the scale" line, even though that's a specific stage direction. It works quite well with Jamie exiting alone, but it is weird to find something that this cast doesn't do by the book.

Again, I really enjoy the way Rakie, Tom, and Jamie work together on the first riddle. It's very nicely done, and they do a great job of pointing the audience towards the right answer. 

Samuel's celebrations at getting the book back are always really good. I think this one involved sticking both his hands in the air in delight. I'd heard that Theo also did really great celebrations, including a pirouette one time, but sadly we didn't get one of those at this show. 

I remember really loving what Theo did once Albus saw that Scorpius and the book. I can't remember the expression on his face, but I remember watching him and thinking it was great. 

*

My overriding impression of Act One was just of accomplishment. The cast felt solid, and there was a detail and richness to everything that I hadn't seen before from them. They did an exceptional job really. And Theo was so consistently brilliant that when @thatwasdramatic and I met in the loos we just hugged each other as tight as we could without even having to say a word. 

With this cast, their Part Two has always been vastly better than their Part One, so I didn't expect anything so spectacular in the first half. I especially didn't expect the Act Two that I was about to see.

Before this show I still didn't totally trust the cast to be continually amazing. I went into Act Two thinking that while Act One was great, it might have just been a fluke. There's been an inconsistency the first two times I saw them. Some scenes a lot stronger than others, just because of rehearsal time. So I started Act Two with a bit of nervousness, about some cast members more than others, but that was very quickly blown away completely. 

*

Act Two

Scenes One and Two 

Elizabeth is so brilliantly consistent across all the roles she plays. I absolutely love her Petunia. I think she hits exactly the right note.

Emma and Theo almost hit their mark for the effect with the light shining on their faces. Almost. I think the light ended up on Emma's cheek and shoulder, which was a bit of a shame. That's one of my favourite moments in the show. However, Theo's yelling for his dad was A+. I had started this act with my fingers crossed for him, but quickly realised that that really wasn't necessary. 

I love the way Emma says "You were", in response to Harry's comment about how he was sleeping. I've seen it be almost a question in the past, but when it's said as a statement it's almost like Ginny is reassuring Harry, telling him that yes, he's okay, it was just a nightmare. 

Scene Four

The first thing Theo did in this scene was not manage to catch the wand. It sort of shot out of his grip and he fumbled it between both hands to try not to drop it. It gave Delphi's line about him getting it now a different sort of twist, overly optimistic, instead of just relieved and positive. 

The second Expelliarmus he didn't even try to catch. He sort of cheated it and pulled it out of his sleeve himself. In the past I've complained that we never see Albus fail a spell, but we definitely saw it in this show, and it made the moment of disarming Cedric all the more triumphant. 

The wizzo hand wiggle was somehow even more ridiculous in this show? There was a sort of pause before it that really emphasised it. 

In case anyone's interested, there's an added line in this scene. Delphi now says: "I'll just keep in the background and try to look clever. Ooo, maybe I could pretend to be a dragon tamer!" The 'try to look clever' is an addition to the script. 

I love how you can see in Delphi in this scene that she's terrified of being out of control once time changes. She knows she won't be the same, and she can hardly handle it. The fidgeting, the panic, and her final attempt to convince Albus that he needs to find her and trust her once time changes. 

I also love how Theo looks genuinely all pale and red after the kiss, just sort of discombobulated. And Samuel delivers that line brilliantly. He delivers every line brilliantly, let's be honest, but the little lean in and emphasising how ridiculous his best friend looks at that moment. 

And then my favourite fact about the end of this scene is that, despite the kiss from Delphi, despite everything, Albus still takes the opportunity to wrap his arm round Scorpius as they run off. Because Theo's Albus cannot keep his hands to himself for even a second. If there's a Scorpius in the vicinity, that Scorpius is getting hugged. 

Scene Five 

I managed to spot individual faces in the Forbidden Forest scene, which might have been due to a lighting error? Anyway, I spotted Mackley looking for Scorpius and Albus, so that was nice. 

The reason I think there was a lighting error is because I have been informed by people who were sitting more centrally than I was that you could see Bane's back end in this show. This is the second time I've heard of this happening in the last few weeks. Thankfully, however, I was at an angle to stage where Bane's back end was blocked out by the trees, so it didn't bother me. 

The one thing that frustrates me with this scene is the lack of nuance in Jamie's calling for Albus and Scorpius that bookends the conversation with Bane. It's all on one level, and I wish he'd be more scared about searching for his son. Other than that, this scene is great, but I want more of the searching, especially at the end when Harry's just found out that his son is in danger.

Scene Six 

There was a scarily long gap at the start of this scene before the black curtain came up and the boys stepped forward. But once they got going absolutely nothing went wrong. 

This was the scene where I started crying, and then didn't stop for the rest of the Act. I think it was a combination of it being my anniversary show, and the way the boys delivered the scene that set me off. 

The first time I saw this cast, there was a wonder in the way Samuel played it, and it was so genuine and beautiful. And even now, a month later, he still has that genuine sense of awe, and Theo is delivering a similar thing now too. 

This was another of those scenes where I was mostly focused on Theo, because I didn't have the opportunity to watch him last time, and I loved the expression in his face. At first he was just looking out, almost caught up in Scorpius's excitement, then when he got to "it turned out to be terrible after all" there was something in his face. It wasn't a hardness, but there was more of a set to his jaw. Theo's Albus spends so much time smiling, but there wasn't a hint of a smile there. And then the second his dad was mentioned it turned to pure horror and he looked away from Hogwarts and right at the Scorpius. But then Scorpius said how Albus was his best friend, and again it was like the sun coming out, relief and delight. 

When Albus tells Scorpius that he's his best friend, he grips him by the shoulders and looks him right in the eye. 

Scene Seven 

Tom Mackley needs to work on his French or Fleur will never love him. That's all I have to say on that topic.

Josh's search for Mackley in the crowd still continues. This time he popped out of the crowd where Mackley normally is and discovered he wasn't there. So he had a quick chat to someone (I think it was April) before diving back into the crowd again, and this time popping out right where Mackley was for a hug. 

For the first time in ages I actually managed to pay attention to the boys in this scene. They were doing such a good job that even Mackley couldn't properly distract me. 

Scorpius looked so excited to see Rose there, bless him. He lit up almost as bright as Albus does. And then after that he and Albus did the murmuring to each other where Scorpius apologises for messing up. 

I don't think Samuel's mic was working for one of his lines. It sort of cut in halfway through. I could hear it because I was near the stage, but it was fairly essential as it was the explanation that the Time-Turner was going on. Thankfully, in the last few weeks Samuel has figured out how to correct mistakes without drawing everyone's attention to them. He calmly repeated the lines a bit later in the scene, just before Albus collapsed, and it worked so well that I almost thought I'd misremembered the script. 

Theo's falling to the ground and screaming was amazing. This cast are really good at the spark effect. I always feel like it's timed to a tee. It happens three times in the show (Albus's arm, the chair in the duel scene, and Ron's leg), and each time the spark really flies and is really visible to the audience. It always happens at the perfect moment to give it the most outward trajectory. 

The end of this scene is one of the exceptions to the rule that Harry never touches Albus. Actually here, when Albus collapsed, he was looking right at his dad, and Harry was the only one there to catch him. He wrapped his arms round him and held him up so firmly. It was perfect. 

Scene Eight 

All Harry's mistakes in the second timeline are just attempts to fix the things he did earlier really, aren't they? When Dumbledore says about looking for what's wounding him, Harry's already been reflecting on what Ginny told him. "Haven't I seen him as he is?" He thinks he's already got Albus sussed, even though he really hasn't. My point is, the clarity with which this cast play out this arc is getting better and better, and more complete, by the performance. 

Jamie definitely ate the chocolate in this performance. I don't know if he always does, but I could see and hear him chomping. 

I think the biggest difference between the last show and this show, in terms of Theo's acting, was that in this show it didn't feel like he was acting at all. He was living Albus's pain and despair in every single second. He was Albus, wholly and completely, and it was the most amazing thing to see. Even his posture had changed and become freer. I know what it looks like when it's Theo on stage and not Albus, and in this show there wasn't an ounce of Theo anywhere to be seen. 

There was one moment in particular where Harry was in full angry flow, and Albus was just looking up at him and clearly breaking inside. The juxtaposition between the two, the solid wall of Harry's intent, and Albus's soft, desperate sadness, was so painful and beautiful. It was the perfect example of Harry not seeing his son, and you could see that Albus felt it to the core: ignored, shut out, misunderstood. That was the only reason he threatened to run away again, because it was the only way to make his dad pay attention. 

One of the things that this cast does, which the originals didn't do, is that they stick rigidly to the script. I saw the originals drops bits of lines, or even add words to the ends of lines if they were meant to be interrupted but hadn't been yet. Sometimes that rigidity works, and sometimes it doesn't. I think it depends on the day and the actor and how in character they're being. A perfect example of it working was Theo's: "The robes were... the whole thing". On this occasion he felt lost for words, searching for the right way to explain without giving himself away. It would be easy for those to sound like they're coming from the script, but this time they didn't, and I was really happy about that. 

Harry just totally doesn't notice Albus's comment about not fitting in at Hogwarts. He's so absorbed with the Scorpius train of thought that he ignores what's staring him right in the face. How miserable his son is. 

I love how Jamie plays Harry's authority. In this scene he planted himself squarely on the stage, hands on the back of the chair, glaring at Albus. He really uses his posture as a weapon. It's weird because I never noticed the original cast's posture, but with this cast I really do. I've heard people talk about how this cast are more physical than the originals, and while I'm not sure I agree with that statement across the board, there are certainly some physical aspects that really stand out to me, like posture. 

Scene Nine 

I loved the moment where Albus tries to assert himself. Albus took the innate authority that he's inherited from his dad and tried to spin it back on Harry, drawing himself up all tall and powerful. But the second Harry headed him off he sort of crumpled again. 

When Scorpius appeared on the stairs I noticed that Albus didn't actually look at him once. It was like he couldn't bring himself to do it. It hurt too much. He gave a cursory glance over his shoulder, but made no effort to actually meet Scorpius's eyes, which was heartbreaking. 

Scene Eleven 

Mackley turns round and does a sarcastic little clap at Albus when he starts losing points for Gryffindor. 

Rake is so unhinged in this scene, it's amazing. Hermione isn't angry so much, just sort of completely shattered. Not even a bit of herself. She's all over the place, and seems on the verge of tears the entire time. She goes from these hysterical little giggles to shouting to having to compose herself so she doesn't cry, and the whole time she's just sort of shaky. I also noticed in this scene that her wand has a curve to it, so when she holds it like a knife it really does look like a lethal weapon, although she never threatens Albus with it in the way Noma or Nicola would. 

When Rakie says "you're invisible friend" she puts this little lisp on, totally mocking Albus.

So @thatwasdramatic has this theory that when Theo is on fire he doesn't kick his stool nearly as far. In this show it barely moved the first time (it sort of fell and hit the desk and bounced back), and the second time it skidded about an inch but stayed upright. So the theory has yet to be disproved. (It's also likely that someone told him to stop trying to kick the stool into the audience, which I appreciate on behalf of everyone who ever sits in Row A. I can't imagine it would be fun having that thing fall on your head.) 

Hermione's final speech in this scene was brilliant. She was such a mess, so unable to get her words out or keep focused or anything, that when Rakie got to the words "a projection of all your most positive feelings" she actually got a laugh. Hermione had no positive feelings in this scene. The irony was brilliant. 

Scene Twelve 

I cried again. Because how could you not with these two? 

Albus was just a tiny little broken shell, and Scorpius wasn't much better. I actually think it was one of the most beautiful staircase scenes I've watched. 

Theo has stolen the thing Sam used to do where he'd wipe his eyes while walking under the staircase where Scorpius is sitting, but in this show he was actually crying while he did that. He buried his face in his hands and I heard this broken little sob, and it was the most awful thing. 

At the end of the scene Samuel starts walking down the stairs, a step at a time, in perfect timing with the music, looking desperately at Albus who can't look back. 

I've been told by people who could see into the wings Theo's wheeled off into, that at the end of the scene Albus crumpled onto the stairs and buried his face in his hands and sobbed. On my side, I saw Samuel sit down on the stairs and sort of stare down at his feet in despair. I later noticed him adjusting the Time-Turner pouch, in case anyone's interested. 

I think this is a good time to explain why this show was equally as good as the 3rd and 4th of November, but in completely the opposite way. On the 4th, the adults in Act Four particularly broke my heart. There wasn't a scene where they weren't all in tears. It got to the point where you needed the boys to come back on stage just for some respite from the overwhelming emotion. And this show was exactly the same, except in this show the overwhelming emotion came from the two boys in Act Two. I was desperate for the duel and McGonagall's office for a bit of respire. Every single scene they spent in tears, and the level of acting from both of them was just astounding. It was a privilege to watch. 

Scene Thirteen

I still love how Emma's "saved by the door" is a threat to Harry, not Ginny being relieved. 

James is so smooth in this scene. Smooth and to the point. It's the perfect example of businesslike Draco. It does it at just the perfect pace. So purposeful. 

The last show I saw I finally managed to spot the hand holds on the back of Jamie's suit jacket. Draco has on an extra coat in this scene, which has the straps for the lifters to grab, but I'd never managed to spot Harry's before. 

James always says "you've threatened both teacher and Albus himself", whereas in the script it's plural. I wonder if it'll get changed in the definitive edition? Technically we do only ever see Harry threaten one teacher. 

The duel this time was a lot slicker than the first time I saw it, and Jamie is definitely nailing the Flipendo now. His landing was no more awkward or hard than Jamie P's ever was.

My favourite bit of the duel was the Mobilicorpus. I'm not sure who was doing the lifting (I'm just going to assume it was Nuno), but they were totally going for it with slamming Jamie into the table. Also I noticed that he seems to do really big gestures during this, and I wonder if whoever is playing Harry is the one controlling the speed of it. In this particular show the speed was quite slow, although like I say, the slamming itself was brutal.

Scene Fourteen

Delphi entered this scene with her hood up, which was a pretty cool throwback to her earlier stalking of the boys through the background of the opening scenes. 

Samuel's reaction to hearing she was too ill for Hogwarts was really sweet. Scorpius seemed a tiny bit stunned by it. He sat down on the stairs and immediately started paying a lot more attention to her. It was a really sympathetic gesture, like he was getting ready to listen to all her problems.

When the other student walked past, Scorpius not only hid Delphi with his legs, but he actually draped his robes over he back to hide her, and tried to look all cool and casual, sort of patting her back and trying to pretend everything was fine. Albus and Scorpius should not be allowed to attempt to look casual. It just doesn't work for them. 

I love how miserable Samuel's "oh" is, when he hears that Delphi is there to sort out him and Albus. It's sort of hard and not at all receptive. Scorpius has no desire to do anything to do with Albus. 

Scene Fifteen 

James and Jamie make a really big thing of putting their wands down on the table at the start of this scene, which makes it even more entertaining, especially with Emma giving them a 'go on, behave' look. 

Draco looked at his wedding ring the second he started talking about Astoria. It's like James just can't help himself. He's determined to break our hearts with that thing. 

I really love how James's "Don't lose the boy" is quite soft but still authoritative and commanding in the most Draco way. I think he got to his feet for that line, and was sort of hunched over the table, looking at Harry and pointing at him. 

It really did feel like Harry was leading the way to get the Floo Powder in this scene. He had the time to think, and then he was the first to reach for his wand and get to his feet, with the others following close behind but not too close. 

Scene Sixteen 

I have never, and possibly will never again, see such an incredible version of this scene. It was the perfect storm of both Samuel and Theo giving absolutely everything at the top of their game, along with an audience who were clearly so deeply invested in the story. 

I often think that the mark of a good audience is how much they applaud, how much noise they make for the tricks and things. But in this case we had an audience that was 100% invested and committed in the story, and you could hear a pin drop during this scene. You could feel the energy in the room and it was electric. In a way, that level of intense investment is just as important as applause and laughter, and I'm really glad I was there to experience it.

We had the classic little giggles at Scorpius's crush on Rose, which just proves that it's all down to how ridiculously Samuel emphasises it in this scene.

I loved how when Albus interrupted Scorpius's speech about who took who to the Yule Ball, it was out of irritation. He knows all this! He doesn't need Scorpius lecturing him about it. Scorpius may be the history nerd but Albus reads books too. Except clearly he doesn't in this universe, because he still has no idea what's going on. 

The audience loved Scorpius's "I'm pretty sure your dad is exactly the same". 

Samuel and Theo don't get nearly as loud in this scene as Sam and Anthony used to. They almost don't deserve to be told off. They could have been a lot rowdier. However, they definitely escalated the volume a lot more in this show than I've seen before. 

I could see Albus's fixation on the task in hand during the last few lines before Scorpius's explosion. He was throwing in Rose's name just to appease Scorpius, but really it was all about Cedric. He's still preoccupied with his dad, still desperate to do the right thing and get his dad to pay attention to him. He wasn't even thinking about Rose before Scorpius started talking about her, and she's only part of the plan because Albus doesn't want to do this alone, but Scorpius won't help him if she isn't involved. 

The boys were really going for it with the wrestling in this one. I think they wrestle for a lot longer and with a lot more commitment than Sam and Anthony used to. Theirs was almost a cursory little back and forth, but this is a proper fight. 

And then we hit Scorpius's speech, and both sides were just incredible. Their dynamic on stage is very well matched. They have the perfect amount of give and take between them, and they let each other have their moments, while continuing to act their socks off even when it's the other person's moment to shine. In this scene there was a moment where I looked between the two of them and just thought wow. Here we have two exceptional young actors, who right now are matching each other in terms of performance, and helping each other give their best. This is rare, and this is special. The talent on display in this scene on Saturday was mind blowing and really emotional. We're really lucky as fans and as an audience to be able to see these two together. They're going to give us great stuff over the next year. It's really exciting. 

On one side of the equation you had Samuel, breaking down harder than ever. I couldn't see his face but I could hear the tears in his voice. Scorpius was just falling apart completely. I always valued James Le Lacheur's performances for the emotional commitment to this speech, and Samuel does the exact same thing. He pulls himself apart and loses it in this moment, all the pain flooding out from behind that thin, fragile Malfoy front. 

And on the other side of the equation you had Theo, silent apart from the interjections (which were spot on in terms of delivery), but saying so much with just his face. It was a captivating bit of acting. He started off really hard and closed off, because how on earth could Scorpius's life be worse than his? And how dare Scorpius tell him to be okay with something so painful as the bullying he faces every day? But then Scorpius starts talking about his mum, and Albus's face just transformed. It immediately softened and broke, as he understood the anguish and realised what he'd done to his best friend and felt absolutely horrified by it. 

I'm pretty sure they were both crying by the end of the speech, and when Albus went to get the Invisibility Cloak, the lines were all cracked and fragile and broken. 

We had a brief moment of respite while McGonagall was searching the library, which was much needed because I at least was in tears. 

When the boys came back out, Scorpius sat stony faced while Albus talked about the cloak. But then the second Albus said sorry, with this heartfelt desperation, Scorpius turned to look at him in amazement. It was like despite everything he didn't expect Albus to actually apologise. Maybe he expected him to leave again, but it definitely wasn't for him to say sorry like that.

One thing I love about Theo's Albus is that he's so full up with pain, you can see it inside him the whole time. He's lost and aching and so upset, and it hurts him so much, but when he realises that someone else needs help, he finds the room in his heart to reach out to them. He does it for Scorpius and he does it for his dad too. He still has so much love in there, even though the pain is welling over. I think that's my favourite thing about the character he's playing. 

The apology meant that Scorpius's little "thanks" was really genuine, and it was accompanied by him trying to tidy up some of his tears a bit. 

Again, I absolutely love how hearing that Harry's department is investigating the rumours is Scorpius's worst nightmare. That destroys him. But Albus immediately leans in to reassure him that no. There's no way they can find anything because Scorpius is so good. 

I adore how Samuel's Scorpius recovers from the depths of his despair so quickly. He goes from crying to mocking Albus in about a second. It's very sweet. 

Samuel pronounces every single letter in the word 'always'. He stretches it out and makes something really important of it. 

When Albus says he’s had a really good idea, Scorpius was so irate about him not getting the conversation they’d just had that he dropped to his knees and flailed his hands in the air in disbelief. Despite this, Scorpius ended up genuinely impressed with Albus's strategy. Poor naive boy. He should know by now that Albus's plans are terrible. 

The way Albus said "I can do it without you -- but I want you there," in this show was just perfect. It didn't sound like he actually was convinced he could do it alone. He desperately needed Scorpius with him. Also, it's the perfect turnaround from the train, where he knows he'll mess up if Scorpius doesn't come, so he forces Scorpius to come, but this time he knows he can do it, but gives Scorpius the option to join him anyway. And of course Scorpius agrees to come. 

Scene Seventeen

I don't think I was paying attention to this scene because I was still recovering from the library. I remember tuning in sometime around the 'friends' exchange, and thinking that the way Tom played it was beautiful. There wasn't the awkwardness, Ron was just sort of rambling away about friends and then slipped, which destroyed Hermione. It didn't feel like there was a barrier between them as such, it just felt like they were each playing a part, and suddenly the mask slipped and everything underneath was laid bare. It was really lovely

At the end of the scene, as he was wheeled out into the wings Ron walked down the stairs, then back up the stairs, then back down them again. It was like he had no idea what to do with himself. I heard from people with a more central view that Hermione was breaking down in tears in the other wings. 

Scene Nineteen

Scorpius was so impressed with his "Engorgimpressed", and Albus just looked across at him and shook his head because no. No Scorpius. 

When Myrtle showed up Albus was just getting ready with this big smug look to reveal his grand plan, but as soon as he'd taken a breath she showed up and stole his moment. He seemed the tiniest bit miffed, but mostly just like well, this is as good as anything I could have planned. 

I don't know I've mentioned this before, but at the first stage door, April told us she practiced her Myrtle voice in the kitchen while she was cooking, just sort of random gurgling and meaning. It totally worked. 

It has not escaped my notice that Myrtle looks directly at Albus when she says the "and boys" part of "girls and boys doing love incantations in this very bathroom".

Before I knew there was Gillyweed, but I'd never properly seen it. I'm still not sure what they use, although apparently the sweets in Scorpius's bag at the start are Haribos, and the Gillyweed looked kind of like some kind of jelly sweet. 

I have never felt this way before, but when Albus disappeared into the sink I was genuinely disappointed that we wouldn't get to see him again until halfway through Act Three. Theo had done such an incredible job. 

I love how Myrtle beckons the adults in like she's going to tell them what the trinket is, but then just whispers that it's a secret. 

When Harry turned round to talk to Ginny and Draco and McGonagall, Myrtle kept her foot right by his head for the longest time, almost touching him, just sort of floating there and considering stroking it against his face or something. It was hilarious. 

Draco gets really fired up the second the Time-Turner is mentioned. The poor guy has been keeping the secret for so long and suddenly the other one is out and about and he must be terrified of the implications. 

Scene Twenty

Mackley is still double Scorpius for now... Henry has to take over at some point right?

Scorpius's delight when he comes out of the lake is adorable. Bless him. 

When Elizabeth walks out as Umbridge she sort of holds her coat out of the way so you can see the dress underneath. It's exactly the sort of grand gesture Umbridge would make. 

Samuel's interactions with the Dementors at the end of Part One are excellent. He gives each their time. Scorpius seems to get sucked into first one, then the other, and when he gets free he does this jerk of his body, like he's falling away from them. 

*

I couldn't cheer at the end of Part One because I was crying too hard. I made it out of the theatre and tried to explain to the people I was with exactly what that Part had meant to me, and I ended up sobbing again.

The reason I cried wasn't only because the show was brilliant, but because the cast felt like a cohesive unit, doing a beautiful and detailed performance of the show I am absolutely in love with. My thoughts throughout that act were that they're ready, they're good, they've finally made it. They were finally doing themselves the true justice I knew they could. And more than that, I was watching the show instead of the actors. I wasn't smiling because they were acting well, I was caught up in the emotion of the play. For the first time in a year I was mesmerised by the story. And it was a truly incredible experience, which was just capped off beautifully by the brilliant Part Two to come.