#Dan H

[ggblasts]

Spotted: Dan Humphrey, looking absolutely miserable, sulking through the streets of Brooklyn. It seems like our favorite *Lonely Boy* is even lonelier these days, especially after his recent break-up with none other than Roxanne Long. You remember Roxanne, right? The gorgeous, statuesque model with a heart of gold and a smile that could melt ice? Yeah, that Roxanne. And now, here Dan is, walking around like he's carrying the weight of the world on his slouched shoulders. It makes you wonder: Is he having second thoughts?

The break-up shocked everyone, but what really set tongues wagging was how it went down. One minute, Dan and Roxanne were Brooklyn’s hottest couple, and the next, we get a mass text from Dan himself, claiming he didn’t love Roxanne after all. Say what? Was that really the truth, or was there something—or someone—else pulling the strings? Sure, the text had his name attached, but it felt oddly out of character. Could Dan Humphrey, the sensitive brooder, really be that cruel?

And of course, the gossip mill started churning, with one outrageous rumor standing out above the rest. You guessed it, the rumor that we, Gossip Girl, had a hand in Dan’s shocking confession. Now, I know we can be mischievous, but come on. We would never stoop to that level. Dan’s love life is a mess on its own; he doesn’t need our help. We watch, we report, but meddling? That’s not our style. So, whatever led to that fateful message, it wasn’t us.

Still, you can’t help but wonder if Dan is starting to regret his decision. They say hindsight is 20/20, and with every somber glance, every forlorn sigh, it looks like Dan’s realizing he might’ve let a good thing go. After all, Roxanne wasn’t just a bombshell; she was the kind of girl who made him better, who got him out of his own head and into the real world. Maybe he didn’t appreciate that when he had it, but now, with her gone? It’s a different story.

Roxanne, for her part, seems to be doing just fine. She’s been spotted out and about, looking as radiant as ever. No late-night crying sessions or tear-streaked selfies for her. If she’s heartbroken, she’s hiding it well. But that only makes Dan’s misery more apparent. It’s hard to see someone thrive when you’re spiraling, and Dan? Well, spiraling might just be an understatement.

As for why Dan chose to send that mass text in the first place? That’s the million-dollar question. Was it impulsive? Did he panic? Or maybe, just maybe, he thought it was the right thing to do at the time. But now? It’s starting to look like the biggest mistake of his life. Whether or not Dan comes crawling back to Roxanne remains to be seen, but one thing’s for sure: this saga isn’t over.

So, what’s next for Lonely Boy? A heartfelt apology? A desperate attempt to win Roxanne back? Only time will tell. But for now, all we can say is that Dan looks like he’s in way over his head—and he has no one to blame but himself. Stay tuned, Upper East Siders. This drama is far from finished.

XOXO, Gossip Girl

@danhumphreyx

[danisnotafan]

HUH???????

[lilianade-comics]

snippets of post AGIT Cheese Melt because, well, I'm predictable. Also featuring post AGIT Dan because I love him~

[sersi]

THE FALL GUY (2024) + Hall H

[warren-keplers-funk-band]

i don't want to lay blame but the correlation between the slow decay of my higher mental functions and izzy's titties is pretty damn high

[dnpgiggle]

while we’re on this topic

dan and phil both are equally pale. dan isn’t tan he’s got warm skin tone which doesn’t make his skin darker he’s still pale white boy like phil

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 115

“Seriously old man?” the rumbling voice nearly caused Tim to jump, his eyes darting away from where Ras was sitting, the Al Ghul almost seeming to perk. It was kind of hard to miss the man… teen… being? It was kind of hard to miss the owner of the voice what with how their hair looked like it was on fire. 

They motioned around at well, everything, crimson eyes looking exasperated. “Really?” They were definitely motioning towards him, interrupting Ras when he opened his mouth to talk. “No, I don’t want to hear it, I swear- Did he kidnap you?” That was definitely aimed at him. 

“N-no?” Tim was feeling slightly unbalanced and may be on hour sixty without sleep at this point, if the hour long nap was counted. “I need help finding my not-dad who's lost in time.” 

The being let out a strangled noise that Tim could nearly swear was almost another one, but couldn’t vocalize his slurred thoughts as the dude muttered something, motioning around as though he was tempted to strangle something or someone. 

Ras cleared his throat, looking almost awkward which was how Tim knew he had to be dreaming or drugged. Probably drugged. “Jordan, how good to see you, it’s been so long-”

“Can it Pops,” the being-named-Jordan scoffed, finger pointing towards the Demon’s Head. “Moms still pissed and isn’t coming back any time soon with you still pulling this shit.” 

Tim felt his brain stall, process for a moment, then process some more over what he just heard before his mouth ran before it could catch up. “Ras is married???” 

[phoneyotc]

The samples for the Re-Animator shaker keychains have arrived!!!

Closeup view

Please ignore that the droplet on the opaque variant is transparent. That will not be present in the ones you will get.

[ed-recoverry]

Some of my favorite posts on r/BenignExperience from the past week (part four!!!)

Part one, part two, part three

[pinkbumblebees]

[ggblasts]

Spotted: Roxanne Long, rising from the ashes of her Dan Humphrey disaster, and let’s just say, this isn't the Roxanne we used to know. Who would have thought that being dumped by the most mediocre man in Manhattan could catapult someone from dull to dazzling? Well, maybe everyone who’s ever crossed paths with Humphrey’s dreary charm. Just ask Serena Van der Woodsen and Blair Waldorf—they practically wrote the book on how to rebound from a Dan Humphrey-induced coma.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. While Roxanne's new look is certainly turning heads, we can’t decide if it’s because of the shock value or actual style. Is this transformation a bold move, or just a desperate attempt to stay relevant in a city that never sleeps? Either way, it’s got her out of the shadows and into the spotlight, and we can’t help but be a little intrigued. After all, when she was with Dan, she was about as exciting as a black-and-white indie film—pretentious, dull, and utterly forgettable. But that’s the Dan Humphrey effect for you: suck the life out of everything and everyone around you.

So, go ahead and enjoy your night on the town, Roxanne. Paint the city red, or gold, or whatever color matches this new version of you. But just remember, darling—you’re not a teenager anymore. The hangovers hit harder, the regrets linger longer, and no amount of sparkly dresses can turn back the clock. Let’s just hope your next move isn’t as reckless as your new wardrobe. Because in this city, a glow-up can only take you so far before the lights start to dim again.

Enjoy the party while it lasts, Roxanne—because when the music stops, all that’s left is the cold, hard reality that no amount of glamour can hide. And trust me, Upper East Siders are watching, just waiting for you to slip up. Hangovers may fade, but Manhattan’s memory? That’s forever.

XOXO, Gossip Girl

@roxannelong

[gyossefka]

Illustration for H.P. Lovecraft’s “Call of Cthulhu” by Dan Hillier.

[philsgirlinprague]

Do you think Dan put the Haru pillow between them

[doisnuois]

Full comic yeah

[not-buffalo-marshmallow]

The next Dwampy show needs to be for an adult audience and I am completely serious.

I sincerely don't believe that they can continue making kids shows while still throwing it back to Phineas and Ferb. Their new target audience was not alive when pnf came out. As Dan directs more and more of his attention to the fandom, more than anything it would just be fun to see them both go back to their original roots in things like Family Guy and just take a new route anyway.

[ahappyphjl]

there was no plot