#Dan H

[ggblasts]

Spotted: Dan Humphrey, looking absolutely miserable, sulking through the streets of Brooklyn. It seems like our favorite *Lonely Boy* is even lonelier these days, especially after his recent break-up with none other than Roxanne Long. You remember Roxanne, right? The gorgeous, statuesque model with a heart of gold and a smile that could melt ice? Yeah, that Roxanne. And now, here Dan is, walking around like he's carrying the weight of the world on his slouched shoulders. It makes you wonder: Is he having second thoughts?

The break-up shocked everyone, but what really set tongues wagging was how it went down. One minute, Dan and Roxanne were Brooklyn’s hottest couple, and the next, we get a mass text from Dan himself, claiming he didn’t love Roxanne after all. Say what? Was that really the truth, or was there something—or someone—else pulling the strings? Sure, the text had his name attached, but it felt oddly out of character. Could Dan Humphrey, the sensitive brooder, really be that cruel?

And of course, the gossip mill started churning, with one outrageous rumor standing out above the rest. You guessed it, the rumor that we, Gossip Girl, had a hand in Dan’s shocking confession. Now, I know we can be mischievous, but come on. We would never stoop to that level. Dan’s love life is a mess on its own; he doesn’t need our help. We watch, we report, but meddling? That’s not our style. So, whatever led to that fateful message, it wasn’t us.

Still, you can’t help but wonder if Dan is starting to regret his decision. They say hindsight is 20/20, and with every somber glance, every forlorn sigh, it looks like Dan’s realizing he might’ve let a good thing go. After all, Roxanne wasn’t just a bombshell; she was the kind of girl who made him better, who got him out of his own head and into the real world. Maybe he didn’t appreciate that when he had it, but now, with her gone? It’s a different story.

Roxanne, for her part, seems to be doing just fine. She’s been spotted out and about, looking as radiant as ever. No late-night crying sessions or tear-streaked selfies for her. If she’s heartbroken, she’s hiding it well. But that only makes Dan’s misery more apparent. It’s hard to see someone thrive when you’re spiraling, and Dan? Well, spiraling might just be an understatement.

As for why Dan chose to send that mass text in the first place? That’s the million-dollar question. Was it impulsive? Did he panic? Or maybe, just maybe, he thought it was the right thing to do at the time. But now? It’s starting to look like the biggest mistake of his life. Whether or not Dan comes crawling back to Roxanne remains to be seen, but one thing’s for sure: this saga isn’t over.

So, what’s next for Lonely Boy? A heartfelt apology? A desperate attempt to win Roxanne back? Only time will tell. But for now, all we can say is that Dan looks like he’s in way over his head—and he has no one to blame but himself. Stay tuned, Upper East Siders. This drama is far from finished.

XOXO, Gossip Girl

@danhumphreyx

[danisnotafan]

HUH???????

[lilianade-comics]

snippets of post AGIT Cheese Melt because, well, I'm predictable. Also featuring post AGIT Dan because I love him~

[sersi]

THE FALL GUY (2024) + Hall H

[warren-keplers-funk-band]

i don't want to lay blame but the correlation between the slow decay of my higher mental functions and izzy's titties is pretty damn high

[dnpgiggle]

while we’re on this topic

dan and phil both are equally pale. dan isn’t tan he’s got warm skin tone which doesn’t make his skin darker he’s still pale white boy like phil

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 115

“Seriously old man?” the rumbling voice nearly caused Tim to jump, his eyes darting away from where Ras was sitting, the Al Ghul almost seeming to perk. It was kind of hard to miss the man… teen… being? It was kind of hard to miss the owner of the voice what with how their hair looked like it was on fire. 

They motioned around at well, everything, crimson eyes looking exasperated. “Really?” They were definitely motioning towards him, interrupting Ras when he opened his mouth to talk. “No, I don’t want to hear it, I swear- Did he kidnap you?” That was definitely aimed at him. 

“N-no?” Tim was feeling slightly unbalanced and may be on hour sixty without sleep at this point, if the hour long nap was counted. “I need help finding my not-dad who's lost in time.” 

The being let out a strangled noise that Tim could nearly swear was almost another one, but couldn’t vocalize his slurred thoughts as the dude muttered something, motioning around as though he was tempted to strangle something or someone. 

Ras cleared his throat, looking almost awkward which was how Tim knew he had to be dreaming or drugged. Probably drugged. “Jordan, how good to see you, it’s been so long-”

“Can it Pops,” the being-named-Jordan scoffed, finger pointing towards the Demon’s Head. “Moms still pissed and isn’t coming back any time soon with you still pulling this shit.” 

Tim felt his brain stall, process for a moment, then process some more over what he just heard before his mouth ran before it could catch up. “Ras is married???” 

[ed-recoverry]

Some of my favorite posts on r/BenignExperience from the past week (part four!!!)

Part one, part two, part three

[daily-momokarun]

DAY ONE ✩‧₊˚

Soooo do ya think that Okarun's hair actually changed texture after it was fried, or do you think he styles it differently now because of what Momo said? (Or both? 🤭)

[phoneyotc]

The samples for the Re-Animator shaker keychains have arrived!!!

Closeup view

Please ignore that the droplet on the opaque variant is transparent. That will not be present in the ones you will get.

[ggblasts]

Spotted: Roxanne Long, rising from the ashes of her Dan Humphrey disaster, and let’s just say, this isn't the Roxanne we used to know. Who would have thought that being dumped by the most mediocre man in Manhattan could catapult someone from dull to dazzling? Well, maybe everyone who’s ever crossed paths with Humphrey’s dreary charm. Just ask Serena Van der Woodsen and Blair Waldorf—they practically wrote the book on how to rebound from a Dan Humphrey-induced coma.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. While Roxanne's new look is certainly turning heads, we can’t decide if it’s because of the shock value or actual style. Is this transformation a bold move, or just a desperate attempt to stay relevant in a city that never sleeps? Either way, it’s got her out of the shadows and into the spotlight, and we can’t help but be a little intrigued. After all, when she was with Dan, she was about as exciting as a black-and-white indie film—pretentious, dull, and utterly forgettable. But that’s the Dan Humphrey effect for you: suck the life out of everything and everyone around you.

So, go ahead and enjoy your night on the town, Roxanne. Paint the city red, or gold, or whatever color matches this new version of you. But just remember, darling—you’re not a teenager anymore. The hangovers hit harder, the regrets linger longer, and no amount of sparkly dresses can turn back the clock. Let’s just hope your next move isn’t as reckless as your new wardrobe. Because in this city, a glow-up can only take you so far before the lights start to dim again.

Enjoy the party while it lasts, Roxanne—because when the music stops, all that’s left is the cold, hard reality that no amount of glamour can hide. And trust me, Upper East Siders are watching, just waiting for you to slip up. Hangovers may fade, but Manhattan’s memory? That’s forever.

XOXO, Gossip Girl

@roxannelong

[pinkbumblebees]

[not-buffalo-marshmallow]

The next Dwampy show needs to be for an adult audience and I am completely serious.

I sincerely don't believe that they can continue making kids shows while still throwing it back to Phineas and Ferb. Their new target audience was not alive when pnf came out. As Dan directs more and more of his attention to the fandom, more than anything it would just be fun to see them both go back to their original roots in things like Family Guy and just take a new route anyway.

[gyossefka]

Illustration for H.P. Lovecraft’s “Call of Cthulhu” by Dan Hillier.

[philsgirlinprague]

Do you think Dan put the Haru pillow between them

[an0nwr1tes]

DP x DC idea, post AGIT

So, Bad ending Parent route for Danny when his foks find out he’s phantom which triggers the usual OH ANCIENTS YOU HAVE TO DIP NOW DANNY but, instead of it being Danny revealing it to his parents or his parents finding out by accident it’s Vlad who’s revealed it, completely by accident mind you, so now it’s Danny and Vlad who are on the run and have to jump dimensions because the Fentons definitely went to the GIW after finding out that not only is their SON a ghost but so is their oldest friend?

The GIW proceed to reclaim all of Vlad’s business’s and property’s meaning they find out about the clones and sure Vlad might have stuff set up to blow should someone who isn’t a halfa or already in the know find out about it but there’s no way Vlad just ignored Dani after AGIT and what about Dan? Those were his fail safe body’s but he can’t just kill the GIW because he’s not just recovered so suddenly the Government and fentons find out that there are TWO MORE HALFA’s or ghosts puppeting human corpses as far as their concerned which means all four halfa’s are on the run!

So one thing leads to another and they decide as a group to just jump ship, they get to the ghost zone but as nothing can ever go right for them they get attacked and after months/weeks? Of constantly fighting the GIW and having their names and faces plastered on very screen in the world they’re all too weak to properly fight back and so they run again.

Danny finds a portal and decides that anywhere is better than here and dives in the others following, now their are in the DCU.

So where do they end up in? Gotham of course, and no this isn’t just because I want the Bats to go; who are these skrunkaly children and feral raccoon man?? But because objectively Gotham is one of the best places for them to be when none of them have ID’s or social security numbers or like….anything at all.

So they arrive but nothings going right, Dan and Dani’s clone body’s haven’t stabilised, Danny’s powers are on the fitzs and Vlad just flat out can’t go ghost after he took some really bad hits form the GIW and Fentons to keep the younger less durable Halfa’s safe.

Now here’s where the fun starts, Vlad isn’t willing to live in poverty but he doesn’t have enough powers to properly build back his empire, Danny refuses on principle to overshadow people and do the other morally incorrect things Vlad does for fun, Dan would do it he’s destabilising so there’s no way he can survive overshadowing someone with this body melting and him being stuck out of time line again and Dani’s just too weak at the moment to really understand what’s happening.

For the Dani bit it’s because the other Halfa’s are all complete, Dan is a full ghost so even if his body melts they just need to get a storage device to keep him till they can make another, Danny and Vlad are weaker but their body’s are fine as true Halfa’s can be so Dani is the first priority.

Now I see this going two ways, Vlad uses persuasion(using the power of suggesting, literally he just went: you want to give us this apartment, the guy: I want to give you this apartment) and then Dani and Danny stay at home so Danny can try and start stabilising her while Dan and Vlad get to work on their criminal empire.

Eventually this gets back to the bats and they decide that Vlad and Dan are the main perpetrators and are keeping Danny and Dani prisoner and forcing Danny to make them weapons and machines by threatening her sister, which would make it hilarious if after they’ve stabilised Dani she takes one look at the bats and goes: I am SO going to mess with them! and goes full super villain.

The second way (AKA; the funnier way) is if Danny has to help stabiles Dani and Dan so Vlad is the one left to go about things but he’s weaker so they don’t get an apartment and Danny is stuck feeding their cores his own ectoplasm in whatever abandoned building they’ve squatted in for the night while Vlad grumbles and runs around attempting to steal things and not doing a very good job at it.

The reason I think this is the funnier option is because in my head, Dani and Dan make themselves look smaller, kinda de-age but their both still them, so that Danny doesn’t have to expend as much energy meaning that the Bats chance upon this group of what looks like a father and his trans-son (because Jazz SO gave that idiot enough thearapy that he isn’t as easily misunderstood as he used to be) and like two very young children and the whole family kinda goes; ….we have to help them

This is also funnier(and this is the main point) because the way that help would definitely be trying to convince Vlad to get a job at WE after Danny let’s it slip that Vlad’s an engineer, which he is case and point the GIANT LAB UNDER HIS CASTLE, and Vlad will be suffering because he DOES NOT want to work for some billionaire but they also need stuff to stabilise Dani and Dan and Danny can’t keep doing it because he’s so weak after expending this much energy that Vlad genuinely thinks he could die, ghost self and all and has to reluctantly agree.

Feel free to use this however, just tag me if you do ok?