#seriously if everyone who is pissed right now goes out and votes we have this in the bag | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bard-llama · 3 years ago

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(blows kiss) I hope you're doing well, sweet thing, I wish you luck.

Aww, thank you! I am doing decently well! Buying a car proved to be a huge fiasco (my last one got totalled and ugh the courthouse is NOT being helpful in getting that ticket resolved), BUT my work has really kicked off these past two weeks and it's going pretty well!

And because I am who I am, I gotta talk politics. Shit SUCKS lately. The draft decision on Roe v Wade has already paved the way for the TX Governor to challenge children's right to a public education. Interracial marriage and same sex marriage will be next. And they may even be able to go after Brown v Board of Education (you know, the court case that desegregated schools in the US). This draft opinion would set a HORRIBLE legal precedent, the likes of which have literally never been seen before. It's pretty bad.

BUT it's not hopeless! Protests do have the power to change the Justice's opinions before the final ruling and people can demand that their state and local legislators enact protections for if/when the federal government refuses to do its fucking job. It's not ideal, but it's not hopeless.

And, to be quite honest? We could not have asked for a better recruiting tool. They have gone so batshit over the edge that people who were previously wholly unengaged are reaching out to volunteer! They have SERIOUSLY pissed off a LOT of people and if all of those people go out and vote in November? We can turn Congress blue. We can turn states blue. AZ's election this year has a LOT of statewide races on the ballot and if the Democratic candidates can win, it will mean HUGE changes for the state. Imagine having a Secretary of State who will PROTECT voter rights instead of pursuing another fucking Fraudit. Imagine having a Governor and a State Legislature that isn't run by fringe minorities, but actually listens to their constituents.

Would it be perfect? No, there's WAY too much work to do for that. But my county is one that has been historically dismissed by the State Democratic Party as being "too red to bother with". This year, we have a real chance of turning blue and I get to be part of that effort, which is pretty cool! (the state party still basically told us to fuck ourselves, but they're a fucking disaster anyway. Fortunately, we've got some amazing organizers who are committed to STAYING in this county even when they try to bring us all to Maricopa if we want to get paid, and honestly, the county party has it more together than the state's coordinated campaign (which so far has proven very uncoordinated).

Oh, and you know something cool about AZ? In our constitution, citizens have the right to write laws and get them on the ballot for voters to decide on. In fact, when we tried to become a state, the federal government was not about that and told us to get rid of that - so we did, became a state, and then put it right back into the constitution 😂 But what it means is that if your ballot initiative gets enough signatures (based on the voter turnout in the previous election), voters can codify it into law. The PROBLEM is that our state legislator keeps explicitly undoing the things voters decided on in order to give their lobbyists tax breaks. Seriously, it's disgusting. BUT one of the iniatives I'm working on (Arizonans for Fair Elections) would put protections in place so that the legislature can't keep willfully going against the voters' wants. And it would restore all the voting rights they've spent this year so far taking away, including our Permanent Early Voter List (the list to get a mail in ballot every election), which... my county and state literally are the MODEL for how to do mail in ballots. Other states followed our example. 80% of the population votes by mail INCLUDING REPUBLICANS! So what they're doing is WILDLY unpopular and you know what? It's never been easier to get bipartisan signatures. EVERYONE is pissed at lawmakers not doing their fucking jobs and again, if all of those people who are angry actually turn out and vote? We can turn AZ and my county blue. That would be HUGE!

Anyway, uh, thank you for reaching out lol. I'm doing pretty okay on the whole. I'm restarting physical therapy today, so I will actually be able to MOVE, and work is going really well! I need to do more tax work for my mom, but I've been so swamped lately, I haven't even had the chance. I also might be getting another contract very soon doing the same work, but expanding the locale and I'm very excited!

#american politics #arizona politics #me #vote!#seriously if everyone who is pissed right now goes out and votes we have this in the bag #and if you think your vote doesn't count #then i have news for you about how close some of these races are #the last race a friend of mine ran? lost by TWO VOTES #THAT'S IT!#TWO #your vote very much counts and as much as the system sucks #we do not have a better way to dismantle it than to work within it #unless people are ready for revolution #which I'm here for but most of the public is super not #get out the vote

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 4 years ago

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not the same anon but I was wondering: what if bella was in a time loop from almost getting hit by the truck to the end of the baseball game?

For reference, the time loop post.

Well, as usual, the answer is not good places. Because instead of a one shot way through life, Bella is now playing a game of probability. As we know from Alice telling Edward even about the meadow alone, the odds were not in Bella’s favor.

Loop One

So, Bella goes through the loop for the first time. She’s in love with Edward, just now gets to meet his amazing family, and gets a hint that something’s going very wrong at the baseball game. However, before the hunt is on with James and Victoria, Bella’s magicked back to nearly being hit by the truck.

She’s probably really dazed for a few days but probably tells Edward up front “you’re a vampire, I know, we’ve done this before” and Edward flips out. The family has their vote, Bella now knowing exactly what they are probably causes the paranoid members to have stronger opinions but I imagine mercy wins out and Bella’s spared. Bella comes and tells them that she’s in a time loop and this is when Bella realizes things aren’t quite right.

Her relationships with the Cullens don’t pick up where they left off. Alice is a little more hesitant in being her friend, as Bella now threatens to usurp her position of seer. She’s still perky and enthused by the idea, but a little less gung ho, noticeably so to Bella. Things are worse with Edward.

Bella’s ready to love Edward and be loved by him in turn right this second. Edward only realized he was in love after Alice tells him so when the family puts Bella’s life to a vote. In that instant he was incredibly resistant to the idea and appalled by it. This time, it’s not just Alice telling him, it’s Bella herself. I imagine Edward’s very uncomfortable with that.

He still has this ongoing fantasy that he can and will nobly leave Bella for her own good with Bella none the wiser. He slowly finds himself realizing that he can’t ignore her and can’t not be involved in her life, and tells himself this is still fine and he can maintain this balancing act. In other words, approaching Bella initially was very much something on Edward’s terms.

Now it’s not. Bella knows everything without him saying a word, Bella sees himself as his girlfriend, without him deciding to give in to his feelings, Bella has fond memories of time spent with an Edward Cullen who doesn’t even exist anymore, everything is completely outside of his control.

I imagine Edward would actively resist any romantic overtures with this Bella. He’ll prove her wrong, save her humanity, and do everything on his terms. He cautions the entire family, but especially Alice, from approaching Bella much as he did in canon.

Bella is utterly heartbroken, everything’s changed and she doesn’t understand. The day of the baseball game comes, Bella’s not invited, and she finds herself looping.

The Second Loop

Bella’s learned her lesson. This time, she’s keeping her mouth fucking shut, it doesn’t matter that she can’t lie because no one will ever ask. She goes even further than she did the first time and doesn’t insist to Edward she knows he’s not human. She pretends she hit her head hard enough that she doesn’t remember. This will spare him and the family that nasty fight over what to do about Bella.

Unfortunately, without this, there’s no catalyst to push Edward into realizing his romantic feelings. Alice’s visions only seemed to solidify with the potential fight between Edward and Jasper. Edward remains hot and cold during Biology, still sneaks into her bedroom (though likely without Bella ever being aware), but never pursues or even thinks about the label of “boyfriend” the way he did in canon.

Bella tries to get close to Edward but he wigs out every time she tries and actively pushes her away. He spends the weeks very much in conflict over his own feelings and not quite sure why he feels the way he does.

The day of the baseball game comes, Bella is not invited, and she loops again.

The Third Loop

Bella decides that, clearly, the answer is to do everything exactly the way she did it the first time.

Bella hints to Edward that she knows he’s not human after the van incident, she goes to Port Angeles and wanders around the streets waiting for potential rapists to follow her, she has her back and forth with Edward where he cryptically warns her away from him but also begs her to stay.

This goes great until the meadow.

Alice tells us in Midnight Sun that, if she’s being generous, Bella’s odds of survival are 40/60. She then estimates lower with a grimace that it might actually be more like 35/65.

Point being, it’s not good, and more than likely that Edward’s going to eat Bella. If Bella plays Russian Roulette long enough, one day, the bullet will exit the chamber.

Bella loses the meadow and loops.

The Next N Loops

Bella, more often than not, can make it to the meadow but then is eaten. She keeps trying, with increasing desperation, but gets more and more strained. Now as the date of the meadow approaches, rather than be something she looks forward to, she flinches and has to steel herself.

Edward, of course, notices, which only makes it more likely that he lose control as rather than this innocent trusting creature who believes in him Bella is the girl who knows he’s going to eat her.

If Bella makes it past the meadow she often also gets eaten, either by Edward or a family member who loses control. If she makes it all the way to the baseball game it’s just that, she makes it to the baseball game and no further.

Eventually, I think this wears her down. Bella can’t find the energy to do this anymore, she doesn’t want to do this anymore, and she has her first loop where she doesn’t pursue Edward.

Except he... doesn’t leave her alone.

She finds that, when she wants to get rid of him, he’s impossible to get rid of. Which of course aggravates her to no end. In fact, it probably drives her a little mad.

The Insanity Loops

Eventually, Bella realizes these loops aren’t stopping and makes life ultimately meaningless. Why should she go to high school? The only reason is to see Edward, and he’s starting to become a bit much for her. Why should she work so hard to be a part of Edward’s life when she’ll be back in the same position in a few weeks?

I imagine Bella starts skipping school, stops doing homework, and does increasingly erratic things. She goes cliff diving, runs away from home and goes travelling without telling anyone, much to everyone freaking out.

Eventually, Bella decides that the only way she might get out of the loops is if she becomes a vampire.

The Bella Tries To Convince Somebody To Turn Her Loops

Bella first approaches Edward, she tells him everything, and that the only way she might escape that she hasn’t tried so far is becoming a vampire. No worries if he kills her, they might have better luck next time and he’s eaten her plenty of times already.

Edward is horrified and does not want to play ball at all. He flips out, demands the family pack up and leave Bella with no options, and Bella loops again.

Bella tries Alice, Alice has a similar reaction that she did in New Moon. She doesn’t personally have the control, more, it would completely alienate her from Edward. No need to rush things, Bella will be a vampire eventually (or dead).

Rosalie is disgusted, Jasper is very confused and also horrified, Emmett is confused and doesn’t want to piss off Rosalie, Esme eats Bella before she can get a word out, which leaves Carlisle.

Carlisle and Bella have one seriously weird conversation about her loops in which Bella provides knowledge she can’t possibly know about. Carlisle’s concern is that it’s probably not Bella’s humanity that’s the problem. Likely, she has an out of control and very powerful gift. As a vampire, there’s a chance it could get worse somehow.

Still, after much persuading, he agrees to try. Edward loses his mind. Again, all of this has not only spiralled out of his control but he never had control to begin with. In this timeline, Bella spoke to Carlisle about this in the hospital after the van incident.

Bella learns that doing this completely destroys her relationship with Edward more than anything ever has. Nonetheless they do it and...

Well, either Bella stops looping, is now a Cullen, has disappeared off the face of the Earth for her family, and ruined her relationship with Edward before it even started. That, or she’s still looping, and has reached peak despair.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #time loop #bella swan #edward cullen #anti edward cullen #edward/bella #anti edward/bella #alice cullen #anti alice cullen #carlisle cullen #meta #headcanon #opinion

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shyficwriter · 4 years ago

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You Laugh, You lose

Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic | Reader x Yondu, Kraglin, Peter

Summary: You're stuck on planet until morning when a part fails on Yondu's M-ship, so Peter suggests a game to pass the time.

Author’s Note: This is the fluffy/funny fic I promised to make up for the two angsty fics before it. Hope you like it! Also shoutout to @badjokesbyjeff where I got most of these jokes from.

Word Count: 3,100

One rule.

You laugh. You lose.

Ok, maybe there were a couple more rules than that, but that was the gist.

It was a game often played between you and Peter, and occasionally also with Yondu or Kraglin on long job travels to kill the boredom.

The goal? Make the other person laugh. If you succeed, you win. You fail, then the game continues until someone loses it and laughs. Winner gets bragging rights, loser usually has to buy a round of drinks for the rest.

The game had originally started out with the one rule, but over time a couple more rules had been added. One of these rules was that stuff like tickling was cheating. You'd think this would have been an obvious rule to start with, but when it was you losing the game to tickles, Peter didn't mind. Less competition, right? But once the tables were turned and he lost a round, then suddenly tickling was "major cheating" and "totally unfair!" So, naturally, now there was a "no touching" rule during the game.

Another rule that needed to be added later was that Yondu couldn't gibberish talk his way to a win. It just gave him too much of an unfair advantage over you and Kraglin, who would crack up very quickly upon being face to face with a deadpan Yondu talking to you in pure nonsense. Peter was the only one of you three not really effected by it, as he found it more annoying than anything else.

Of course, Yondu tried to use his status as captain to veto this rule, but after a vote of 3-1 against the gibberish, he finally relented, stating that, "Aw, fine! I don't need to do that to win anyway!"

However, this didn't stop him from slipping a little in from time to time, always claiming he "forgot."

Sure, Yondu. Sure.

That was pretty much the main rules. The rest were more just guidelines. Like, smiling was allowed, as it didn't count as laughing, but too sharp of an exhale out your nose while smiling could be considered a laugh. Stuff like that.

Today happened to be one of those days where a job had run long, or rather, the trip did.

The job actually went fairly smoothly, to Yondu's surprise. However, when it was all said and done and it was time to leave, the ship wouldn't start.

Luckily, Yondu knew a guy who could fix the problem (just something minor with the fuel intake, but at the same time not something that Yondu could fix without replacing a part he didn't have and certain tools he didn't bring with him.) Only problem was the guy couldn't get the part in until the morning.

So you were all stuck there. Until morning. On a patch of the planet that wasn't within reasonable walking distance of anything fun. Plus it was raining, so you were all more or less confined to the ship for the evening.

Great.

So that's why Peter proposed a game of You Laugh You Lose.

At first Yondu didn't want to, being grumpy about being stranded for the night over such a minor fix and all, but Kraglin managed to convince him in hopes it would lift his spirits.

Now, playing with four people was a little different than one on one. With two people you'd sit facing your opponent and take turns trying to make the other laugh. When starting with four you all sat around the table, each person taking a turn in attempts to get any of the other three to laugh. If someone cracks, regardless of who made them laugh, they're out, and can act as referees, or mildly help crack the others if they choose. Also, instead of the just first to lose owing everyone a round a drinks, all three losers would owe a round, pretty much ensuring the winner 3 free drinks the next time they went out.

Peter sat directly in front of you at the small table, with Yondu to your left and Kraglin sitting directly in front of him. The four of you took a second to fully compose yourselves, making your faces as expressionless as possible, and then Peter started.

He stared you dead in the eye. "Why do bees hum?" he asked, waiting a moment, more for comedic timing than an actual answer, as was how many of the jokes told in the game went. When no one spoke up he said, "Because they don't know the words."

You exhaled slowly through your nose and shook your head, the known sign for, "That the best you got?"

Kraglin's turn now. He took a different approach. He crossed his eyes and in a deadpan voice said, "Wanna hear a joke about a piece of paper?"

Yondu raised an eyebrow, but shook his head when Kraglin continued, "Never mind, it's tearable." Peter made the universal noise for having heard a bad joke.

Your turn. "What did the A'askavariian say after a bad night out?"

"What?" asked Kraglin.

"Wouldn't know. You should ask Peter."

Peter made a scandalized noise. "One time!"

You saw Yondu's mouth twitch, but he quickly recovered. Kraglin took a deep breath and exhaled to keep it together.

Yondu's turn. He told another joke at Peter's expense, and actually made himself crack a smile when Peter protested again. You and Kraglin fought back grins as Peter took his turn.

"What's Beethoven's favorite fruit?"

The three of you shake your heads, though in Yondu and Kraglin's case you were sure it was more because they didn't know who Beethoven was. This was then confirmed by Kraglin asking, "Who's that?"

Peter didn't answer the question, instead letting out a, "Ba-na-NA-NA!"

Peter said this so suddenly and loudly that even Yondu jerked his head back in startled surprise, as did Kraglin, but Kraglin also had to stop himself from barking out a startled laugh. You, however, had to try much harder to keep yourself from laughing. It wasn't even that good of a joke, but his delivery had you biting your tongue to keep it together. Yondu didn't get the joke, but assumed it likely would have been real funny on Terra as he watched you try to steady your breathing just as Kraglin took his turn.

"Ya know the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer? ... The taste."

That one received a collective groan and a look of disgust from you and Peter. Yondu looked almost impressed as he shook his head.

It was your turn again. "I once watched a documentary on how ships are kept together. It was... riveting." You wiggled your eyebrows on the punchline, but only received a mock-disappointed stare from the others at your awful pun.

Instead of a joke, Yondu decided on his next turn to tell a story. "One time we were on a job on Krylor," he began, "and a pretty lil' miss thing caught Peter's eye..."

Peter's eyes widened. He had a bad feeling about which story Yondu was about to tell. "Yondu, don't." he warned flatly.

Yondu only grinned and ignored him "He goes sauntering up to her, trying to be all smooth like.."

"Yondu, seriously." Peter warned again. Again, Yondu ignored him. By now you and Kraglin were already grinning from Peter's reaction alone.

"But the boy ain't watchin' where he's goin', he slips on an empty soda can and falls flat on his face right in front of her. But that's not the best part-"

"I will seriously kill you, ya blue dick!" Peter was getting so red and flustered you had to bite your tongue, as did Kraglin who's nostrils where flaring with the effort.

"It had rained that mornin', and he had been just unlucky enough to land on a puddle, and when he stood up it looked like he'd gone and done pissed himself. I don't think I need to say he didn't wind up gettin' the girl."

That broke Kraglin. He snorted a laugh and Yondu clapped his hands together, shouting, "Gotcha! Yer out!"

Kraglin groaned out a, "I don't know why those stories always get me!" but sat back grinning anyways as Peter buried his scarlet face in his hands whining, "So uncool!"

Peter composed himself and glared at Yondu. "Alright. What about that time you accidentally switched the intercom on while listening to that Brittany Spears music from Terra?"

Yondu just stared at him stonily, no hint of emotion, refusing to dignify the story with a response, although you almost thought you could see his face slightly darken. Kraglin, even though he was out, pretended to be very interested in the table and after an awkward beat you decided to take your turn, because there's no way you'd let yourself laugh at Yondu's music choices if you knew what was good for you.

"SO- Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now." you say in an attempt to bring the game back to jokes lest you be the next one they decide to dredge up an embarrassing story about.

Yondu turned his attention to you. "Ya know, I think the toilet has anger issues," he said. You gave him a confused look and he continued, "Whenever I flush it, it completely loses its shit."

You fight a smile. Peter does the same despite himself still being cranky about Yondu's previous story. Kraglin, however, openly giggles at the joke.

Peter quickly steadies his breathing and says, "There were once two guys flying a ship in dead space. One turns to his buddy and says: 'Damn, I can’t find any milk for my coffee.' His friend replies: 'In space no one can, here use cream.'"

You raised an eyebrow in confusion momentarily before throwing your head back with a groan as you got the joke. "That's a terrible joke!" you say, allowing yourself to grin.

"But you wanna laugh, don't you?" Peter teased.

You playfully glare at him and take your turn instead of answering. "Which is heavier, 200 lbs of feathers, or 200 lbs of bricks?"

Now Yondu raised an eyebrow. "They'd weigh the same, kid."

You try not to grin as you shake your head. "Nah. It's the feathers, because you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds."

Yondu propped his elbow on the table and half-hid his grin behind his hand as he nodded his head in approval, before being mildly startled by the sound of a laugh escaping Peter's gritted teeth. Yondu joyfully slapped the table and pointed at Peter. "Yer out too, boy!"

"Aw, dammit!" Peter cried out, but he wasn't angry anymore. He followed Kraglin's lead and relaxed in his chair knowing he was now able to laugh freely at any corny jokes that came.

Yondu smirks at you. "And then there were two."

Crap. You had really been hoping you wouldn't need to square up against him alone. He was really good at this game, and rarely broke. You, however, always had to fight super hard against turning into a giggly little mess, and usually lost. There was just something about his ability to deliver the jokes with a completely deadpan or stern face that always broke you, but this time you were going to try your best to avoid that.

"I was kidnapped by mimes once." he said, "They did unspeakable things to me."

You inhaled deeply, and let it out slowly, shaking your head as you did so and giving a look that said 'Damn you.' "What’s the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?" you begin, continuing after a beat, "The amateur thief says, 'Give me all your money!' The professional thief says, 'Sign here please.'"

Yondu nodded his head thoughtfully. "That's actually pretty accurate. Not sure that's even a joke..." he grinned, almost taunting you at the inability to draw a laugh from him. His turn now. "Two burglars are robbin' a liquor store. One turns to the other an' asks, 'Is this whiskey?' The other replies, “Yeah, but not as wisky as wobbing a bank.” Of course, this last line was delivered with a clean slate of emotion, your weakness.

Fuck.

You had to turn your head away from him as you fought to keep your breathing in check, your lips pressed together, threatening to betray you.

"Ay Ay! No looking away you coward!" Peter laughed, prompting you to face him instead. You flipped him off, your grin finally splitting your face.

"There it is! Come on, you know ya wanna laugh." Yondu teased, grinning at how your nostrils flared when you turned back to glare at him. An unconvincing glare, but it was the best you could manage.

After a couple deep breaths with your hands balled into fists you thought you had calmed down enough to take your turn. "I yelled “COW!” at a woman on a bike once. She flipped me off and then ran straight into the cow..." You raised your hands and shrugged your shoulders in mock exasperation. "I tried!"

Peter laughed while Kraglin and Yondu just shared an amused glance.

"Ya know, I might've actually found that funny... if I knew what a cow was." Yondu taunted, grinning as your shoulders fell in realization.

That made Peter snort, probably for no other reason than he now just had a case of the giggles. But the look on your face was probably part of it. His snort in turn made you grin, his laughter contagious.

This gave Yondu an idea. Grinning evilly he reached over to poke Peter in the side, making the younger man jerk almost violently away with a giggle. Kraglin chuckled as Peter protested, "Hey! You know that's cheating!"

"Nah, you're out, boy. There ain't no rule that says I can't use it on someone that's outta the game." Yondu argued playfully, throwing a look at Kraglin who took the hint and poked Peter from the other side.

"Hey!" Peter whined, the pitiful sound making you cover your mouth to hide your widening grin.

Kraglin stood so he could tickle Peter properly, seeing your amusement at his predicament, and you clenched your jaw as streams of your friend's laughter mixed with uncharacteristically high pitched, "No!"s and "Please!"s poured from his mouth before he managed to escape Kraglin's grip and hop away from the table, clutching his sides and catching his breath. Just in time too, because you were worried that might've actually broken you if Peter hadn't stopped his girly ticklish squeals.

Yondu must've realized this too because he snapped his fingers in mock frustration, and conceded that it was your turn again. In truth he was glad Peter got away as well. The plan had almost backfired on him, nearly having made him laugh at the sight as well.

You had to restart your joke twice, each time having to stop yourself from accidentally laughing so you wouldn't lose. Eventually you finally got out, "Guy with a gun enters a bar... He cries out angrily: 'Who the fuck had sex with my wife?'... A voice was heard in the background, "You don’t have enough bullets mate!”

Yondu grinned, looking down at the table before nodding. "I like that one. It's good." However, he didn't laugh, just went straight into his next joke. "Nurse hands a man his newborn and says 'I’m sorry, but your wife didn’t make it.' He hands it back, saying, 'Well give me the one my wife made.'"

Your eyes went wide. "Yondu!" you scold. "That's terrible!"

"Don't give me that! I can see ya fighting not to laugh."

It was true. As much as the joke was bad, you couldn't help it. There's nothing that makes someone want to laugh more than knowing you can't laugh. Everything's funnier when you can't laugh. You roll your eyes and deliver your next joke. "Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? ... It got stuck in a crack."

Peter cracked up at that, moving to sit back down with a warning glance at Kraglin, who held up his hands as a sign that he wasn't going to tickle him again. Kraglin then shook his head with a wide grin as he watched Yondu run his tongue over his teeth and look down as he tried to suppress a smile.

Yondu inhaled. "Damn. Ya almost got me."

You grinned wide and bit your tongue. You almost got yourself.

"Ya wanna hear a joke 'bout construction?"

You let out a dramatic sigh. "You're gonna tell it anyway, might as well."

"I'm still workin' on it."

You smack your hand on your thigh and jerk your head to the side as your breath hitched. "Fuck you!" you say, a wide grin plastered to your face.

Now Peter and Kraglin were laughing at yours and Yondu's reactions more than anything else.

"Ya wanna tap out now? There's no shame if ya do." Yondu teased.

"Fuck you." you say again. "What did the plumber say to the singer?" You cursed yourself for not being able to come up with a better joke, but delivered the punch-line anyway. "Nice pipes."

Yondu didn't even crack a smile a that, not that you blamed him. He asked, "What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke?"

"I don-"

"TIMING!" Yondu shouted so suddenly that you jerked back and a startled laugh finally broke free from your throat, and once it was out it was like a dam had collapsed- you couldn't hold back the torrent of giggles that had built up for so long.

"Dude! You can't just yell stuff out like that!" you scold, still giggling as you held a hand to your heart, "You scared me!"

"Made ya laugh though, that's what counts." he grinned. He stood up from the table and stretched. "Looks like I win." He ruffled your hair and you swatted him away playfully.

"One of these days I'll get you!" you say.

"Then why don't ya put your money where your mouth is," Kraglin laughed, Peter nodding with him, saying, "Yeah, you two face off again. Right now. Loser pays for everyone's drinks for the night next time we go out."

Still giggly you glance from Peter and Kraglin to a smug looking Yondu standing and grinning at you with his arms crossed.

With a giggly sigh you bow your head and concede. "I can't. I'm not ready."

Yondu lets out a chuckle and pulls you in to give you a noogie. "That's what I thought."

#gotg #gotg fanfiction #you laugh you lose #yondu fanfiction #yondu #peter quill #kraglin #x reader #starlord #reader is a ravager #yondu udonta #kraglin obfonteri #fluff #fluffy fanfiction #funny #jokes

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thiamfresh · 3 years ago

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Thoughts on queerbaiting?

honestly, rn just the term fills me with rage because people in the 911 fandom keep on throwing it around because of the Budding Buddie romance and it's just tiring me out. It's not just the 911 fandom tho. It seems that every fandom who has a ship who isn't canon (even if it's very obvious they never will be) you'll have a very loud section of the fandom screaming Queerbaiting.

To the point where we have real life people being accused of Queerbaiting because they're either not open about their sexuality to the entire fucking world (and why should they have to be) Or because they're straight but like to wear things other than black fucking tuxedos. And the ever growing common misuse of the term just..leads to more people using it which in turn makes people roll their eyes when they hear it.

When you have a legitimate queerbaiting complaint then abso-fucking-lutely you should slam the network/writers for it. but calling something queerbaiting when it really isn't is just leading the overuse and deterioration of the term to the point no one will take anyone saying "this is queerbaiting" seriously because everyone's been crying bait because two character who barely interact haven't fucked yet.

But yeah apart from the near fucking constant misuse of the term in recent years queerbaiting is a really shitty thing and as a part of the LGBT+ community myself I know how heartbreaking and like i don't know what the word is but when you're kinda soul goes >:(

The fact that we are like, visible and important enough to garner using marketing tactics to get us watching but we're not worth enough for our stories to actually be told and only be hinted at is really disheartening and I hate it. It's one of the reasons i'm so like, gaga for 911/Buddie right now because not only do we already have queer relationships being treated on par with their straight counterparts but we're also going to have a queer slowburn that's been given the same respect and treatment that you'd expect from a straight ship and for once it feels like i'm watching a show that actually sees who I am and is willing to write about people like me.

Having relationships like Hen/Karen and Michael/David that are treated normally and show the quiet /intimate moments that lgbt+ ships never usually get is just!! it does something for me you know!!

But anyway. back to queerbaiting/Teen wolf because I feel like you want me to mention Teen wolf in here somewhere.

I can say that Jeff is a particular brand of dickhead and the fact he's a part of the community and still sorta dangled carrots and had these "aha gotcha moments" at the expense of other LGBT+ people will forever piss me off.

I can't say that what he did is 'queerbaiting' as a whole but he definitely did use hints of sexuality and stuff to his advantage.

And I know I've said it before but as a 16 year old trying to figure out their own sexuality watching Stiles's possible bisexuality be constantly treated as a punchline was super damaging to me. If Jeff hadn't been so far up his own ass and had actually let Stiles explore his sexuality in some way I think I would've been able to come to terms with my own sexuality a lot fucking quicker rather than waiting another 5 years to admit i'm bi.

also. If i could strangle Jeff for the 'We're on a ship/Hey if you vote for us who knows what'll happen" Sterek video i would without hesitation

#answering asks #about me i guess?

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rennyforpresident · 4 years ago

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Renny’s BBSim: Second Chances Week 13: The Finish Line Approaches

Welcome back to Biiiiiiiig Brother!

@brentrobinson @flungevictee @kaysarswhore @maxdoesbb @music-obsessednerd @pawn2393 @paymeincashnottears @rennyforpresident @wheremy--demons--hide

Jury: @theminionjcfucked @fucklauryn @phylisisley @iantxrry @swampassthing @cirie-sandra-michaela @flopbb-22

Previously, @flopbb-22 was sent packing. @kaysarswhore and @pawn2393 have been running the house all summer. But this week, it comes down to who wins which comp.

Let me break it down for you: @kaysarswhore and @pawn2393 have a final 2 deal, but both of them are sketched by the other because they’ve been backstabbers all season. @kaysarswhore has a final 2 with @maxdoesbb, who everyone feels like they can trust right now. @paymeincashnottears doesn’t have a solid final 2, but feel closest to @maxdoesbb

And that’s what you missed on

This week, because @pawn2393 is the outgoing HOH and therefore ineligible to compete, there are only three competitors

At this point, there’s no reason to throw a competition. Oh, wait, there is!

@maxdoesbb in the DR: “I know no matter who wins, I’m safe! My social game is on point, everyone is taking me to the end, and I can beat any of them in those final 2 chairs. I’m golden”

@maxdoesbb finishes with a total of 4 correct answers.

Which means it’s down to @paymeincashnottears and @kaysarswhore. Will we finally see @paymeincashnottears get to spend the week in the HOH room? Or will @kaysarswhore win her FOURTH HOH of the season?

With 7 correct answers, beating out the second place score of 6 correct answers.....

@kaysarswhore! You have secured your spot in the final 3 and earned the right to nominate two of your fellow houseguests for eviction.

Who will she nominate? Will she keep her public final 2 deal with @pawn2393 her priority, or expose her private final 2 deal with @maxdoesbb?

@kaysarswhore: “I have decided to nominate you @paymeincashnottears and you @maxdoesbb. You both know that I’ve played this game with @pawn2393 from the beginning, and I’m not breaking that bond. I nominated the two of you because I had no other options. Good luck, and I hope the veto is tough for everyone!”

@paymeincashnottears: “I’m still pissed that I couldn’t win that HOH. I needed ONE win under my belt, and I came so close. I know that my ship is sunk if this veto isn’t used. @pawn2393 hates my guts, so one of us needs to come out so we can vote him out instead.”

@maxdoesbb: “All a part of the plan baby. I’m safe no matter who is up against me. It would be nice to take out @pawn2393 this week, because I have a better chance of getting to the end with @paymeincashnottears, but either way, I’m golden.”

Because there are only four houseguests left in the house, everyone will compete in the final veto competition of the summer.

This competition is the most mentally draining of the summer. The wheel spins in both directions, and everyone’s faces quickly become a blur. At the end of it all, we return to the living room to find out the times of the houseguests.

In fourth place, with a time of 7:02

In third place, with a time of 6:12

And finally, in first place, with a time of 5:39, beating out the second place time of 5:43

@kaysarswhore! You have won the final Golden Power of Veto of the summer!

At the veto ceremony, @kaysarswhore stands and makes her decision

@kaysarswhore: “This summer has been INSANE! I know that @pawn2393 is probably my biggest competition right now, but I also have to consider that @paymeincashnottears and @maxdoesbb are a duo that are probably going to the end together. All that being said, I have decided...

not to use the power of veto.”

@paymeincashnottears: “Well ladies, considering @pawn2393 is the only vote, my goose is pretty much cooked. See y’all in the jury house.”

@maxdoesbb: “I am a little worried about @pawn2393, but at the end of the day, he and @paymeincashnottears are bitter enemies till the end. I feel good, and I just have to bank on @kaysarswhore or I pulling out the win for that final HOH next week.”

@maxdoesbb feels safe, but goes the extra mile this week to make sure he has @pawn2393‘s vote.

@maxdoesbb: “My family back home really needs this money. There’s 9 of us: my mom, my dad, me, and my six siblings. I share a bedroom with three of my brothers, and the ceiling leaks at night, keeping me up. When I was a child, I was determined to have born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning, I break my legs, and every afternoon, I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony while my brothers are fast asleep until my heart attacks put me to sleep.”

@maxdoesbb in the DR: “Of course none of that is true! I just need to make sure these people know how much I want this. I need to stay, I need to win, I need this title.”

Will it be enough to convince @pawn2393 to keep him? Let’s find out

Julie: “Hello Final Four! Only one week left! @kaysarswhore, how does it feel knowing you have a one in three chance at winning Big Brother?”

@kaysarswhore: “It feels AMAZING! I didn’t come anywhere near this point the last time I played, so to make it this far is really amazing. And it’s good knowing I have my best friend @pawn2393 here with me!”

Julie: “Speaking of @pawn2393, you are the only vote tonight! How are you dealing with the responsibility?”

@pawn2393: “Pretty well, I think! I’ve had my mind made up since yesterday, so I feel really sure about the vote I’m casting tonight.”

Julie: “Well then! Just in case you aren’t, the nominees have one final chance to plea their case.”

@paymeincashnottears: “To all three of you, I feel honored to be in a position where I have made it this far. I’ve loved this experience and wouldn’t change it for the world. To @pawn2393, I know we haven’t always gotten along, but it would mean the world for me to stay here. You know that I’m an easy player to beat in the end, and @maxdoesbb can’t offer you that. No matter what, just know that I’ll take my job as juror very seriously, and I’ll definitely be asking the hard questions next week.”

@maxdoesbb: “I don’t want to waste anyone’s time, so all I’ll say is @pawn2393, I sincerely hope you vote to keep me here. I adore all three of you and could never say a bad thing about any of you. I’ve done my best to play this game the way I know how, and I hope all of you can recognize that and give me a place in the top 3. If not, no hard feelings and we’re TURNING UP when we get out of here! *cheers from the house*”

Julie: “Alright. When you’re ready, @pawn2393, please stand and cast your vote to evict.”

@pawn2393: “I never imagined making it to final 3 when I walked in on Day 1. Well, actually I did, but I never imagined it all playing out the way it did. I’ve given this decision a lot of thought, and I need to do what’s best for my game. I need to be loyal to my ride or die @kaysarswhore. That being said, I have decided that...”

Julie: “It’s official, @paymeincashnottears, you are evicted from the Big Brother house.”

Julie: “ @paymeincashnottears! Final 4 is INCREDIBLE! What do you think you needed to do to push yourself just a little bit further in the game?”

@paymeincashnottears: “I honestly don’t know! Maybe win a few more comps in my time in the house? * audience laughter* I really played my heart out, and I don’t feel like there was anything more I could have done”

Julie: “Well, what are your feelings on the three people still left?”

@paymeincashnottears: “I honestly hold no grudges! Of course, @maxdoesbb is an icon and had my back the entire time in there, but I don’t know if he can pull this off. But the other two are great people, they just wanted me out of that house BAD! *audience laughter*”

Julie: “It was wonderful to watch you play again, and we’ll see you back here next week for the finale!

Next week, we crown a winner! Who will earn $500,000 and the title of winner of Big Brother winner? Find out next time. For now, from outside the Big Brother house, I’m Julie Chen. Goodnight.”

FINALE IS NEXT!!! Also @paymeincashnottears you are a LEGEND for continuing to be nominated and making it f4!! And CONGRATS to the top 3, the gameplay is IMMACULATE.

#bb22 #bbsim #bbsim second chances

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phantomphangphucker · 5 years ago

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The Whole Ass Fic A.K.A ClockWork Is Paying At Least One Person Hush Money

Vlad’s dumbest plot yet leads to a grade A gravy bowl of a dumb reveal. Danny’s class feels left out, Wes is literally left out, and ClockWork is forcing me to not leave them out at gunpoint.

Now that y’all have voted, I present to you, the Whole Ass Fic

Danny was having a nice day, he honest to the Core was. But then a blue portal half fucking blinded him, a startled Mr. Lancer accidentally threw a whiteboard marker into his eye, and Dash finally succeeded in hitting him -in the eye of all places, ugh- with a spitball. All of this followed by a -probably not quiet- mutter of, “ClockWork end me”. In short, he had already filled his quota for ocular trauma today.

But looking to the front as a -very not cheesetastic- certain someone stops monologuing, he’s experiencing a-whole-ass-nother kind of ocular trauma.

Danny gets up from his desk and slowly walks up to the front, eyes filled with disappointment and the residual energy of his three breakfast Red Bulls, “okay, so you’re telling me-”, Danny gestures erratically to Vlad, who's tied up on the floor and in ghost form, “-that you overshadowed ClockWork-”, gesturing even more erratically at ClockWork -who’s just sitting on a desk and inspecting their nails- but Danny maintains wide-eyed eye-contact with Vlad instead of attempting down the rabbit hole of why ClockWork is still here. Glaring at floor Vlad harder, somehow, “-so you could travel to the future, to team up with your future self and bring him back here-”, Danny points both hands at the floor a bit aggressively, “-so you could tag-team pulverise a teenager-”.

While Vlad rolls his eyes, not even slightly apologetic or willing to admit that throwing fists with teens being his number one past time was arguably pathetic. Danny gestures at the future Vlad, who’s glaring bloody murder at normal timeline floor Vlad, “-but said future you instead assaulted ClockWork”, facepalming and muttering into his hand, “least I know this future you really is you, being enough up his own ass to even consider attempting to do that”, looking back to floor Vlad, “so you used ClockWork’s powers at random and just came back to this timeline?”.

Kwan adds in, “through the ceiling”.

ClockWork smirks, “he got quite lucky in that regard. Not quite luck though”, Danny sighs exasperatedly at ClockWork when they wink with a smirk. Anything involving ClockWork required a lack of luck, not a wealth of it; that, or making a collection of the stupidest decisions you’ve ever made. Considering floor Vlad’s state of looking like an extra for a truly terrible Vampire BDSM film, Danny’s going with the latter.

Floor Vlad manages to spit out his gag, “well they somehow tossed me out of their body immediately after! I mean the audacity! And this Cheesehead-”, jerkily attempting to nod or point at the scruffy-looking future Vlad, “-gets more pissed and assaults me, ME! Instead of you”.

Future Vlad kicks him and snarls, “it’s been two years in this timeline! TWO! I stopped with the stupid fiddlediddling after six months!”, turning his head to the side and mumbling, “sure everyone close to him had to die first, but that’s a moot point”.

Dash snorts, “why would a ghost even want to assault Fentit. And wait, what? People died?”.

Danny meanwhile, throws his hands out to the side, “of course that happened!”, then gesturing towards ClockWork, “you can’t overshadow ClockWork, that’s not even possible! They literally had to have allowed you to”, actually turning to glare slightly at ClockWork, “why, I haven’t a shot-glass of pennies close to a clue”. Danny then blinks and slowly looks at the future Vlad, his words finally registering; while Danny also simultaneously massacres his last brain cell, “wait....you’re that Vlad? As in the one that technically murdered me? The one that sort of caused the near extinction of humanity and ghosts? The one that basically saw the big red ‘DO NOT PUSH, THIS IS A STUPID IDEA’ button, slammed your fist on it, and activated the apocalypse? The one that stabbed past me when I tried to fix the future? Sure I requested it, but ya still did it”.

Mr. Lancer, who had been progressively going more wide-eyed, “Crime and Punishment?!?!?! I mean, go off I guess”.

While Danny scratches his head nonchalantly, muttering more to himself, “also the one that gave me any faith in past you ever being capable of being good”.

Floor Vlad sputters, wiggling in his bindings like a worm, “how is murdering you what it takes to make you have even an ounce of faith in me?!?”, floor Vlad looks to future Vlad, “you can’t judge me, you fudge-bucket of a hypocrite”.

Danny rolls his eyes and snorts, “that’s not even pot calling kettle black, that’s a wad of chewed gum calling a fork an unchewed stick of gum, and actually expecting that insult to stick”. Danny then squints and turns to ClockWork, “wait”, pointing emphatically at future Vlad, “how does he even exist?!?!? That future was literally destroyed?!?”.

Future Vlad squints at him, looking affronted, “you mean you destroyed my existence too?!?”.

Danny turns to him and waves his hands around wildly, “THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU UNRAVEL TEN YEARS OF TIME! THOSE THINGS AND PEOPLE GO POOF!”.

ClockWork sticks up a finger, “that’s not how time works”.

Danny and both Vlads’ turn to them, both Danny and future Vlad pointing aggressively, “YOU STAY OUT OF THIS! THIS DOESN'T CONCERN YOU!”.

Nathan mutters, “or the rest of the class apparently”.

ClockWork smirks, “pretty sure the author disagrees on that one”. Everyone squints at them but goes back to bickering. Future Vlad points a little aggressively at Danny, “you were just supposed to fix the past! Not obliterate me!”.

Danny throws his hands up, “sacrifices had to be made! That’s what good guys do!”, gesturing at floor Vlad, “plus! You’re still here! And still A CRAZED UP FRUITLOOPY DICK!”.

Floor Vlad, looking a bit insulted, “language my boy”. Danny just looks down at him and knocks one of the desks on him; some kids water bottle -who the heck uses glass water bottles? Seriously?- smashing apart all over his face.

Future Vlad pinches his nose and gestures at floor Vlad, looking at Danny, “that’s because he hasn’t been horribly traumatised....yet”.

Floor Vlad sputters, “yet?”, before scrunching up his face and licking his cheek, “is this vodka?”.

Future Vlad glares down at him, “you don’t know suffering”, getting into floor Vlad’s face a little and shaking his finger violently, “you don’t know the meaning of the word”, while Danny mutters, “neither do you, by the way”, future Vlad keeps talking, “and you really think you can collect all these stupid cheese curd plots and not turn yourself into curdled milk?”.

Floor Vlad rolls his eyes, “says the murderer”.

Danny rolls his eyes almost in sync with floor Vlad’s eye-roll, “oh like you haven’t killed anyone”.

Mr. Lancer coughs, “um? There are other people here you know. And some of us don’t appreciate casually talking about murder at-”, glancing at his watch, “-nine a.m. in the morning”.

Floor Vlad glances at him, “no one but us and dear Maddie qualify as people”.

Danny sputters incredulously while ClockWork points at floor Vlad, “and that is not how classifications of species and words work”. No one so much as acknowledges the arguably most power-being ever this time.

Floor Vlad looks back to future Vlad, “and Daniel’s the one that messes everything up. Not me!”, glaring at Danny and muttering, “I would have had a perfectly viable clone otherwise”.

Future Vlad shakes his head and gestures aggressively, “you cloned him?!?!?!”, throwing his hands up and walking around, “this me’s insane! Wonderful!”.

Valerie snickers into her hand, “I want to get involved but...”, before gaping and sputtering incoherently to herself about Dani.

Danny snorts, “you hadn’t already figured that out when he decided to abduct and control the body of the dude who controls time itself and oversees everyone’s futures. A literal living legend and basically a god?”, shrugging and sounding nonchalant, “and yeah, technically we have a kid now. My genetics, but Vlad made her. So technically, we’re both her parents”, kicking floor Vlad, “I should sue you for child support”.

ClockWork nods, “and you would win actually”.

Danny looks tickled green, while floor Vlad shouts dramatically, “WHAT!?!?!?”. Future Vlad is just walking in a circle throwing his hands out randomly and making faces.

Dash mutters, “I can’t believe I’m saying this but, the damn twinks life would make a great soap opera”. ClockWork smirks ever so slightly at this.

Floor Vlad screws up his face and wiggles in the bindings some before squinting at Danny, “wait a biscuit buttering second, how do you even know about the ghost from the clocktower?”, sputtering and squirming, “how do you know their name?!? Even I didn’t! And you know their powers! Daniel what in the name of Gouda?!?”.

Danny deadpans, “oh don’t you use that tone with me, mister. You’re not my father”. While ClockWork smirks, “my name was actually the first thing he said, you just conveniently ignored that for plot purposes”.

Danny just speaks right over them and gestures at ClockWork, “and of course I do! They’re my Time Daddy!”.

Everyone goes silent immediately and you could hear a pin drop. Instead, a different voice breaks the silence, “wow! Didn’t know you had another dad, son!”.

Both halfas and the ex-halfa turn slowly and look at the doorway, where one Jack Fenton is standing and munching on fudge like he’s engrossed in an intense tv show.

Danny blinks and sputters, “how long have you been there?”.

ClockWork smirks, “since almost the beginning of this fic”. Danny glances at them, “that doesn’t make sense”. ClockWork shrugs, “well the audience might appreciate knowing, and I aim to please”.

Danny speaks thick with enough sarcasm to kill a lesser being twice over, and as if to prove this point floor Vlad starts hacking like someone force-fed him nails, “oH yEaH tHiS hAs BeEn A rEeEeEaAaAaLlLlL pLeAsUrE”, before squinting, “...what audience?”.

Star slams her face into her desk, “oh my Zone, seriously?”.

While Jack pipes up, “since Danno repeated vampire Vlad’s story back to everyone with so much disbelief I really couldn’t bring myself to interrupt”, standing and practically throwing the plate of fudge -having forgotten he even had it- when he throws his hands out to the side.

Mr. Lancer sighs and speaks as the fudge slowly smears down the classroom wall, “this was not in my job description, but thanks for the reminder why I don’t moonlight as a babysitter anymore”.

Jack, sounding way too happy for this situation and oddly not looking angry or even bothered, “and I’ve never heard my boy so passionate before!”, tapping his chin and looking at the two Vlads’, “though I do have to say. What the fuck is wrong with you V-man”.

Danny grumbles, “welcome to the life of having a half-ghost, who’s three nuts short of a fruitcake, that wants to aggressively be your uncle and/or father”, before sputtering incoherently over his dad swearing.

Jack tilts his head, looking like a confused puppy, “but, I’m your dad?”, quirking an eyebrow at ClockWork, “one of your dads?”. ClockWork looks like they just got blessed by a god... a god other than themselves anyway.

While Danny stares down at the floor unsure if he should feel deep horror or boyish wonder. Muttering, “did I just result in ClockWork getting adopted into my family through arguably convoluted and highly illogical means?”.

ClockWork makes a face that is the closest thing to insulted Danny’s actually seen on their face, “it was my belief we were already kin”.

Danny sputters and waves his hands around erratically, trying desperately to back-pedal, “what, I, er, no, I mean yes! Yes! Totally fam!”.

Valerie can’t help but let out her inner gossip rich girl mode, “ooooooooooo, someone’s in trooooouuuubbbbllllleeee”.

Floor Vlad sputters in utter disbelief, it was he that was supposed to be gaining new family members here! Not that oversized puff pastry! “This, that, THIS IS NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO GO!”.

Future Vlad blinks at Jack, “why are you not freaking out over the ghosts?”.

Star sighs, “are they really just ignoring that none of us have been freaking out?”.

Jack shrugs, “one’s tied up and the other gave me fudge”. Floor Vlad just shrieks in frustration and disbelief. While Danny gives a dramatic thumbs up to ClockWork, even going so far as to use a little ecto-energy to make his thumb sparkle like some anime bullshit.

Future Vlad kicks floor Vlad but speaks to Jack, “well if it’s anything, I’m not a ghost or half of one”.

Multiple people mutter, “half ghosts are a thing?”, while Valerie grins like a loon.

Floor Vlad shrieking, “WHAT?!?!?!”.

Future Vlad looks down at him but points at Danny, “he ripped out and ate Plasmius”.

Mr. Lancer grimaces and has to physically restrain himself from assaulting Kwan when he actually sticks his hand up and asks, “what’d that taste like? You know, for reasons”. No one’s honestly surprised at this point, when the bickering guys’ just act like the entire class are just extras added in after the main plot was established and without the main casts knowledge.

Danny blinks and gestures wildly at his dad, “are we just ignoring the uniformed third partly?!?”.

Mr. Lancer glares, “the class has been here the entire time”.

ClockWork smirks, “Vlad’s the authors' bitch right now so...yes”.

While floor Vlad gapes at Danny, “YOU DID WHAT NOW?!?!?”.

Danny throws his hands up exaggeratedly, “NOT IN THIS TIMELINE!”. While Vlad just quietly sputters about how Daniel could and even would, apparently, eat him. Danny has to severely resist spewing out a list of vore jokes at this. While ClockWork mutters with a smirk, about how the only reasons Danny’s not doing that is because the author’s tired of their phone crashing every time they try to write them.

Future Vlad points aggressively at floor Vlad, “we were the ones who thought ripping out his humanity would be a good idea!”.

Jack adds in some side commentary, “yeah, please don’t do that to my son”.

Floor Vlad mutters at the floor, “I need some bloody scotch”, before looking up at future Vlad and shouting, “WHY WOULD I DO THAT!”.

ClockWork points at floor Vlad, “the vodka hasn’t totally evaporated off your face yet, so you’ve got options. I have no pity for you”.

Floor Vlad glares at them, “I have standards”.

Half the class saying, “you sure about that?”.

Danny and future Vlad respond to floor Vlad in unison, with matching deadpan tones and judgmental facial expressions, “because, for all accounts and purposes, you are a sociopath”.

ClockWork sticks a finger up, “this is not how psychological diagnosis works”, gesturing at the class, “for one, patient confidentiality is a basic prerequisite, not an option”.

Nathan makes a mocked delighted gasp, “did we just get acknowledged?”. While Danny and future Vlad share a look tm.

Floor Vlad sneers, “rather that over an overgrown oaf, a self-sacrificial fool, a weak old man, or whatever is up with the time ghost”.

Danny glares while future Vlad socks floor Vlad in the face for that. Danny off-handed commenting, “‘Observant puppet’ is really the only insult that applies”, looking at ClockWork, “why aren’t the eyeballs up in a tissy about this anyway?”.

ClockWork smirks, “the author has decided they no longer exist”.

Danny blinks, “what kind of power does this ‘author’ have????”.

ClockWork mutters ominously, “the ability to outrun writers' block...for now”.

Danny ignores ClockWork out of slight horror and feeling like someone’s threatening him with another? dissection fic if he doesn’t stop encouraging ClockWork to derail the plot. Turning his attention to the two Vlads’ just in time to catch Valerie getting up and smacking both Vlads’ over the head, which just turns into an all-out fistfight. Well okay, floor Vlad is just squirming in his bindings and kicking like a feral rabbit, but still.

Valerie steps back and nudges Danny with a wily smirk, “who you wanna bet on to win?”.

Danny snorts, “future Vlad, based on sheer tenacity”.

ClockWork smirks and points a finger at the ceiling, “that’s my bet”, another portal opening up and yet another Vlad falling through and landing on the two others in a heap; knocking all three out, floor Vlad finally transforming back human. Danny looks to them, “the fuck is wrong with you?”.

While Maddie’s voice mutters from the doorway, “oh my Zone, Vlad?!?!”. Standing next to her is yet another interviewer from Genius Magazine: For Women Geniuses, By Women Geniuses; who slowly lifts up her phone and snaps a photo, while patting the pocket where her recorder is.

The next day Danny inexplicably gets pelted in the face -which, coming full circle, predictably stabs him in the eye in the process- by a magazine as soon as he steps through Mr. Lancer’s classroom doorway. Danny just lets it flop onto the floor unceremoniously, due to his veins being clean out of the consciousness juice that was Red Bull and thus incapable of caring about those pesky things called reflexes.

Danny sighs down at the abused magazine while slowly and dramatically covering his right eye. Sighing even louder at the cover somehow making everyone but the Vlads’ look kinda hot and ClockWork just being a black hole with a wicked grin -how they still seemed visually attractive is beyond Danny’s comprehension. The title reading ‘[REDACTED] Ghosts, Time Travel, And Illegal Cloning. Oh My!’, with the wonderful subtitle of ‘What Happens When Science Grows Fangs!’, and the sub-subtitle of ‘See Some Scientific Sin!’.

Danny’s sure the ‘[REDACTED]’ has something to do with ClockWork and them messing with an entire companies autocorrect function, but he decidedly doesn’t want to know.

Wes kicking in the classroom door seconds later only to pelt Danny with yet another copy of the magazine and shriek, “WHY!?!?!?! WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME!?!?!?!”.

Danny looks down at the magazine, which magically opened up to the page with the article when it landed, and snorts. It looked like someone had applied ‘[REDACTED]’ on the paper very liberally and with a pepper grinder. Danny then slowly turns and points at Wes with a massive shit-eating grin, “that’s what you get for being weak enough to fall victim to flu season. Sleepy sniffling sleuths earn no secrets”.

At this, the whole class laughs like they’re just a laugh track and an edited in fake audience.

END.

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let-me-love-you-loki · 5 years ago

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The Christmas that Wasn’t-Ch. 2

A/N: Written with @mox-made-me-do-it

Chapter 2: Allie

“Umm yeah…” I said slowly, feeling my heart pounding against my ribs. “Cowboys are supposed to be lucky. As long as they aren't from Dallas at least."

Oh my God did I just say that? Surprisingly, my unfunny and awkward football joke earned a definite chuckle from Adam. But, oh, the way he smiled. Those eyes, I swear, could glow in the dark.

The voices at the table seemed to fade away. I could just make out Leigh’s voice as she kept the conversation going. She was talented like that—able to talk up everyone she met. It was how we met in freshmen year at in the first place. She and Kenny seemed to be hitting it off, propped on their elbows and talking over the cheese fries and cookie skillet. I sat there in a stunned sort of silence every time I thought about trying to talk. Maybe not to Kenny, but definitely to Adam.

I was suddenly jerked back to reality when I realized Leigh was poking my leg. She was watching me from the corner of her eye, lips turned down in a worried frown. Across the table, Kenny tapped his spoon on the skillet.

“Hello? Anybody home in there?" Kenny said with a teasing smile.

Leigh poked my thigh again. “Hi...sorry… the mimosas we had on the plane are kicking my ass." For a second, the world went fuzzy. Without warning, I jumped to my feet and excused myself, grabbing my backpack as I dashed off.

I hurried to the ladies’ room. My ribs were tight, making it hard to breathe. I swore I was going to either throw up or pass out before I made it into the bathroom. I heard Leigh’s faint voice in the background, apologizing behind me as she followed behind at a run.

“Als? You ok, babe?” Leigh asked, following me to the sink. The panic was so thick that I couldn’t think of anything else to do but giggle… almost maniacally. “What's going on? What’s wrong?”

I threw my bag on the counter, searching through it for one specific thing. Half a dozen things came out as I dug, finally pulling out what I wanted. I held up a smooth grey rock with the word courage engraved in black on the top.

“Remember this?" I asked, holding it up. “You gave it to me at the airport when I moved to LA. It hasn't left my bag since.”

Leigh stepped close and put her arm around my back and dropped her head against my shoulder. “Als…”

“Jon made fun of me for keeping it with me, but I can't imagine not having you by my side, Leelee.” My voice broke. As much as he’d royally screwed me over, it still hurt to think of all the time I’d wasted with Jon. When I thought things were going perfectly, when I thought we were two steps from happily ever after… I squeezed my eyes shut to keep from crying. I refused to give him that satisfaction.

“I can't believe you keep that with you,” my friend replied, hugging me tight. I turned and wrapped my arms around her. For a moment, we just stood there as the panic bled out of me. “I know things are hard, but there is a super hot, super confused cowboy and out there with our loaded cheese fries. If we leave them alone too long, they’ll eat all of them. And the cookie,” Leigh said with a nudge and a wink.

I grinned, relaxing with my friend’s presence. “What about Curls—Kenny? I think he likes you…” We parted and I leaned against the counter, raising a brow as I looked at her. We were almost the same height, but her hair was shorter and dyed a deep ruby red. “Maybe it’s time to jump back on the pogo stick?”

Leigh blushed and tucked her hair behind her ears. She looked over her shoulder at the door. “He's so fit… and hot. I mean, look at him and look at me. I doubt he goes for the thick girls.”

I knew the feeling. The doubt. I thought I’d found someone who accepted and loved me just for me, but I’d been wrong. I suppose it had been the same with Izzy and Leigh. They were like Jon and I… happy on the outside but broken deep down.

As doubtful as she sounded, Leigh had a faraway dreamy look in her eyes. “Man… his smile, though. And those eyes…but I don’t know, Al… But I guess we’ve got to leave the ladies first so we can find out. Remember a week away from reality.”

I took a deep breath and looked at myself in the mirror. Whatever tan I’d gotten living in California had washed out beneath my panic. My hazel eyes looked shell shocked. I splashed some cool water on my face and behind my ears, the surprise bringing color back to my cheeks. Leigh handed me a paper towel.

“You good?”

“Yeah, I'm good.” I smiled and hugged Leigh again, glad to have her with me. I pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Seriously, though. Kenny looked at you like we looked at that cookie skillet. I can't believe you don't see it. He is definitely into you. You deserve it after Izzy—go for it.”

Leigh rolled her eyes and snatched my backpack up from the counter. “Come on, our fries are probably cold.”

We laughed as we exited the ladies’ room arm-in-arm. As soon as we opened the door, I was surprised to find the cowboy leaning up against the wall. His brow was furrowed, and his blue eyes were dark with worry.

“Is everything okay, Allie?” Adam asked with concern. His southern accent seemed to get thicker and desperately more adorable “You turned pale as a sheet.”

Something warm settled in my chest. “Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks,” I replied, smiling a little. I thought of that stone in the front pocket of my bag. “I guess I shouldn't have had that last mimosa. Got a little light-headed.”

Adam nodded and tucked his hands into the pockets of his jeans. I tried hard not to think about how good he looked in them. “Let’s get some food in you. Always helps when I’ve had a few too many.”

I felt Leigh bump me lightly in the hip as she unwound her arm from mine and slipped in front of us. Adam shortened his stride to match mine and I could have sworn he turned just a little bit toward me.

“Hey… half the fries are gone,” Leigh exclaimed from the table. Adam and I sidled up to the table just in time to see Kenny look up at her sheepishly, melted cheese and bacon bits still on the plate in front of him.

Kenny looked around, as if he were searching for someone even as he tried to casually wipe the grease and cheese onto his napkin. “Yeah, I looked away for one second, and somebody just swiped them.”

Before any of us could say anything in response, Leigh’s phone went off in her pocket. I watched her face go grey as she recognized the ringtone. Don’t answer it. Don’t answer it, I thought, wishing she could hear me inside her head. But she couldn’t, and I watched her hands shake as she put the phone to her ear.

“Hello, Itzabelle,” my friend said, her voice barely trembling. I could feel the fear spilling into her veins.

I could hear her ex’s voice on the other end. She was shouting and screaming, clearly upset about something. What does she want now? Hasn’t the bitch done enough?

“It’s none of your business if I am in Tahiti with Allie. You gave up having an opinion about what I do a long time ago.” Leigh was starting to go pale and I dashed over to slip a chair under her, guiding her to sit down. “I’m not telling you a damn thing, Itzabelle. You’ve broken my heart enough. I’m not letting you do it again.”

Leigh dragged the phone from her ear and ended the call, clutching the device tight in her hands. She looked sick. Adam handed her a glass of water. “Head between your knees if you’re gonna pass out.”

My earlier panic had been quickly burned away by something like rage. Itzabelle Parker and I hadn’t exactly gotten along while she and Leigh were together, but I’d done my best once they got serious. But I’d be damned if she tried to ruin my friend’s life after they’d broken up.

The high ring of my phone made my heart jump a beat. I dug it from my bag and grinned sadistically when I recognized the number. I answered without hesitation.

“Listen here, Itzabelle Parker,” I spat, the words drawing out. I paced a few steps away. “You don’t get to speak to her like that. You made your choice the minute you touched her cousin, and you don’t get to be pissed off at her for going on a vacation with me.”

She snarled back at me, hurling insults and insinuations. I couldn’t help but laugh. “You never deserved her. How many times was it, Izzy? And don’t just say the once because we both know you are a lying bitch who broke my best friend’s heart.”

The angrier I got, the more I could hear the southern Alabama slipping into my voice. I’d lost all but hints of it when I moved to LA, but it seemed pure and unadulterated rage could bring it right back. “She’s moved on to better and definitely bigger than you. My girl will be well taken care of by one of the hottest men I have ever seen if I have a vote in it. She deserves some happiness after everything you’ve put her through.”

I hung up on her without another word, feeling some vicious glee at how she sputtered at the end. It never occurred to Izzy that Leigh might find a guy who could make her happy. “Gimme your phone,” I commanded, holding out my hand to Leigh. She dropped passed it over without complaint. I powered both of them off and stuffed them into the bottom of my backpack. “Now…”

I finally looked up, drawing a deep breath. The anger I’d felt at Izzy had completely torn away at the panic I’d felt moments before. Leigh was looking up at me with a mixture of awe and embarrassment. Across the table, Kenny had turned a horrible beet red and was suddenly very interested in counting the bacon bits on his plate. But Adam…

Adam was looking at me with an awful appreciation in his eyes. He grinned and nodded, bracing his hands on the back of his chair and leaning forward. “You, Allie Mason, are as full of surprises as a hellcat.”

“I’m sorry. That woman just…” I growled, still caught up in the rush of adrenaline. “She thinks she can dictate everything Leigh does even though she’s the one who royally fucked up. I’m not having it.”

As I watched, Adam looked over at Kenny and burst out laughing. I finally stopped long enough to realize how I might have embarrassed him. “Oh, I’m so sorry, Kenny. I didn’t mean… That woman is horrible, and I wanted to shut her up. I’m so sorry I embarrassed you!”

He took a deep drink of the soda in front of him. Then he downed the water next to it. “It’s fine,” he said, waving his hand in the air. “Flattered really. I mean… surprising that I would… you know… make her… jealous? But… yeah… um…”

For a moment he sat quiet, then looked down at the iPhone on the table. “Hey Hangman, our ferry leaves in like 10 minutes. Unfortunately, we need to bid these lovely ladies adieu." Kenny said, the slight sadness present beneath his lingering embarrassment.

Leigh glanced over as well. "Shit! Allie, ours leaves then, too. Grab a box from the server for the fries.” She glanced up at Kenny—who was still a delightful shade of red—and Adam—who was trying not to laugh at his friend—and queried, “Where are you guys off to?"

“The Four Seasons resort at Bora Bora,” Adam said easily.

I looked at Leigh, my heart beating hard against my ribs. No. It wasn’t possible… She looked quickly between Adam and I and smiled. “So are we.”

#the christmas that wasn't #kenny omega #kenny omega fanfiction #adam page #adam page fanfiction #hangman page #hangman adam page #broken hearts #bisexulaity #best friend #strangers to friends to lovers #paradise #aew #aew fanfiction #mox-made-me-do-it #multi-chapter #real person fanfiction

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butyouvealwaysbeenthecaretaker · 4 years ago

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A lot of the posts I see talking about russian psy-ops seem really off the mark, like

the whole point is that russian bots aren’t creating new messages, they’re amplifying ones that already exist. Critiques of voting/electoral processes have always existed, the difference is who these messages are reaching, the moment the message reaches them, and in what kind of volume and scale i.e. it’s not just going to reach your eight crust-punk buddies.

or “Even if those BLM accounts were run by russian psy ops they were still good and right!” like DUDE THAT IS THE POINT. They lure you in with 99% of normal content which shares your values, and then at key moments sprinkle in things which will nudge your behaviour.

or “you can’t call every leftist you disagree with a russian psy op” like hmmm yeah but the thing is, if you are a genuine leftist with a longtime internet persona and post a well thought out, sincerely intentioned, genuine post about not voting...which is then shared by 200,000 people...the problem isn’t you and your post, but who is sharing your post and why, like, amplifying genuine content - taking advantage of your “genuine brand”, for want of a better term - is how this works. You’re not doing anything wrong, but youre creating an opportunity which will then be exploited

or the importance of demoralisation/confusion to contemporary dark politics shenanigans. Like, the whole point is to make you so hopeless that you don’t try, and this attitude manifests in a bunch of ways - from apathy, to overwhelm - so no matter how accurate a post is about, say, the limits of voting or the downsides of a particular politician, it still plays into this overall “everything is so bad that even making things moderately better is still bad” vibe which has...tangible effects. The psy ops wouldn’t try and create these effects, were they not real.

None of these things are new or new ideas, but what’s new is the ability to manipulate brain levers at scale. Like, you’re on tumblr and some whole new wing of bizzare and terrible bi discourse has ramped up, and it makes you feel cranky the entire day. But that experience, that trigger experience, has been created by an outside influence. Now on one level, that’s no different from “someone was annoying on the bus and I got pissed”; but that’s just normal and natural life. Whereas online, it’s like “this platform is aware of what “sadness” and “anger” and “joy” look like for me, and is able to push content to trigger those states in me at crucial moments of time - say, to keep me on the platform, or make me feel insecure so I buy something, or to encourage me to sit at home and feel worthless instead of voting” because this stuff only needs to work on like 0.5% of target people to be effective.

Tumblr needs to mainline this podcast for the next 30 days & really, really understand this.

Like “pro-voting people hate poor people who get home from work too tired to vote and want to make them feel guilty” no seriously please understand that the social media apps those folks use

*know* they are in a low income bracket

*know* what hours they work

*can predict* they’re likely to be 50/50 about voting

*knows* what kinds of posts triggers a “get stuck on facebook for three hours” state or a “completely drained and overwhelmed” state

are willing to sell this data to anyone who will pay them

And the problem with the online psy-ops is that bad actors do genuinely now have the ability to push targeted messaging at, like, literally 500 target people - and a different targeted messaging at a different 500 people, and oops there goes your election.

Like, historically, your marketing budget was one ad that everyone in a location saw.

But nowadays its, push “Biden and Trump are as bad as one another” at some voters, “Biden is so far ahead there’s no point in you voting everything is going to be OK” to others, “Biden is failing on this thing you specifically care about most” to others, “there is literally nothing you can do to prevent fascism because it’s inevitably baked into our nation’s soul” at others...

And there’s very little we can do as individuals to defuse this beyond demanding reform of social media at a legislative level + deleting our social media, but like a good start would be, 1) not making light of the psy-op phenomenon, and 2) getting really well informed about how it works and what to look out for, be it through podcasts or books or articles, and 3) being extremely critical of what you post and reblog and having an awareness of how it plays in to those other forces.

#us election cw #I have seen the hills of Wessex

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shireness-says · 5 years ago

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Election Day

Summary: This is, arguably, the stupidest thing her best friend has ever done. So how in the hell did Charlie Jones get dragged into it? A 5B Divergence 'verse future snippet. ~1.8K. Rated T for language. Also on AO3.

A/N: @snidgetsafan and I plotted this out a couple of months ago, and it remains an absolutely ridiculous idea. Hopefully in a good way. I love the dynamic of these two idiots.

Tagging: @thejollyroger-writer, @profdanglaisstuff, @captainsjedi, @ultraluckycatnd, @superchocovian, @snowbellewells, @killianjones4ever82, @ohmakemeahercules, @let-it-raines, @lifeinahole27, @kmomof4, @scientificapricot, @spartanguard, @courtorderedcake, @justanotherwannabeclassic, @teamhook, @thisonesatellite

Enjoy, and let me know what you think!

~~~~~~

“This is the stupidest thing we’ve ever done,” Charlie grumbles to her best friend - former best friend? That may depend on the next two weeks - from their table in front of the town gazebo. Their campaign table. For the mayoral campaign that Vera decided to stage.

You can’t make this shit up.

Honestly, it fucking figures that this is how Vera Mills-Locksley would stage a bout of teenage rebellion. Vera had inherited none of the malevolence but all of the attitude of her mothers - biological and adopted. Generally, that means she’s more bark than bite, more prone to mouthing off than actually doing anything (or at least doing anything genuinely shitty - Charlie’s found herself helping with more than her share of insane ideas over the years). There had been an incident last month about curfew, though, after they and Gideon French had got home a little late from a bit of post-football celebrating. Okay, an hour late. Charlie kind of understands why Aunt Regina had blown her top - this was Storybrooke, after all, where anything could happen. It definitely didn’t help that they hadn’t called or texted. It was probably a small miracle that Fitz or Dorothy hadn’t stopped them in the cruiser.

Still. Vera was… well, Vera, and even if the town agrees that she’s generally a good kid, Charlie knows from long experience that she doesn’t like being told what to do. The really unfortunate moment had come when the redhead had realized that she’d turn 18 only two days before the mayoral election - the election that, until then, Aunt Regina was running unopposed in. For an office that would allow Vera to change the curfew time.

And when you phrase it like that, it’s almost too easy for a teenager with an attitude and an interesting concept of justice to decide that she’s going to run for mayor and drag her best friend along with her.

The Demon Teen in question (title patent pending, and possibly subject to change if it turns out that Charlie can achieve a new level of frustration before the actual election) hums skeptically. “Is it though? What about the time we borrowed your dad’s boat for that party?”

“Ship,” Charlie answers automatically after years spent in the Jones household. Unfortunately, Vera has a point; it definitely wasn’t one of their brighter moments, though in Charlie’s defense, Christian Erikson was just as good a kisser as he was cute. Still, she’d ended up grounded for a month and scraping barnacles, plus treated to a great safe sex refresher course after her dad had discovered Vera and Gideon trying to get things going in one of the crew cabins. All in all, a goddamn shit show. “But fine, second stupidest thing we’ve ever done. You do admit this is stupid, though?”

“Oh, undeniably,” Vera scoffs. “It’s only stupid if we don’t win though.”

“Ok, that is not how it works.”

“Hey, it’s my plan, it works however I want it to. Jeez, it’s almost like you don’t want to be my vice-mayor.”

“Gee, I wonder why,” Charlie mutters under her breath, before continuing less subtly. “That’s not even a thing.”

“Again, my plan, so I say it is.” As some poor unsuspecting townsperson walks by, she quickly plasters on a grin. “Would you like a campaign button?” she calls. “Vote Mills-Locksley for Mayor on November 4th!”

“Okay, so if it’s a thing, what does a ‘vice-mayor’ even do?” Charlie continues once Mr. Harris is out of earshot.

“Fuck if I know,” Vera admits flippantly. “Look, it’s a good campaign decision. You’re a Jones, and a Charming for that matter. That means something in this town. I may be more charismatic and better suited —” Charlie squawks in protest at that - no one would ever claim that Vera is well suited to be mayor in any reality - but her best friend plows on ahead “— but you’re more…”

“Trustworthy?”

“That’s the one.” You had to give Vera that - she was always fully aware of how people might see her, considering her bloodline, and somehow still managed not to punch people for it. That was more Charlie’s job, anyways. “Now try to look happy, someone’s coming.”

Charlie squints into the distance, only to recognize the familiar gait. “That’s just Dad.”

At least he comes bearing coffee cups from Granny’s. “There’s my favorite candidates!” he calls as he approaches.

“You know I can’t actually serve any office, right?” Charlie questions wryly (not snaps or snarks or any other adjective the look on her father’s face suggests - just questions). “I won’t be eighteen until May. I am literally just a campaign tactic, and a pretty obvious one at that.”

“Play nice, Bean,” her dad murmurs as passes Charlie a travel cup before changing back to a normal volume. “Now, that’s a hot chocolate for you, sweetheart, with cinnamon of course. And Vera, a s’mores mocha for you.”

“Thanks, Captain Jones,” Vera smiles with that politician smile she’s perfected in the past few weeks. Honestly, for a girl who’s never shown a lick of interest in politics in her life - and Charlie’s been there for the vast majority of it, she would know - the redhead sure has adapted quickly.

“I believe that’s more respect than you’ve ever showed me in your life, Miss Mills-Locksley,” the pirate replies with that same wry tone Charlie uses. She had to learn it somewhere, after all. “It would have been much more appreciated when I found you and Gideon French trying to defile my ship, but beggars can’t be choosers, as the saying goes.”

“I think they also say ‘better late than never’,” Vera points out. “Also, ‘what’s done is done’.”

Charlie turns to look at her friend in disbelief. “Really helping your cause, aren’t you?”

“Out of necessity, diplomacy has become my greatest strength.” God, Charlie hopes she’s kidding. Or being sarcastic. Or literally anything but meaning that sincerely, because the truth of the matter is that there’s only so much a human being can believe and a diplomatic Vera Mills-Locksley isn’t one of those things.

“Yeah, sure it has,” Charlie settles for mumbling under her breath. Mutinously seems like a good descriptor, here, if she’s looking to become even more like her dad than everyone already claims she is.

(It’s the hair and the ears and maybe a bit of the face, honestly. The eyes and the attitude are all from her mom.)

Vera shoots her a bit of a dirty look, but the plastered-on smile is back only a moment later to schmooze Charlie’s dad. “What can we do for you today, Captain?” she makes sure to emphasize, probably to throw them both off. It would be totally in character, honestly.

“I was hoping to procure some more buttons please, future Madam Mayor.”

“Oh my God,” Charlie groans. “How could you have possibly gotten rid of all of those so quickly? We gave you, like, 50 a couple of days ago.” Her dad is arguably - hell, definitely the biggest supporter of this poorly planned campaign. Mom had just kind of rolled her eyes, though Charlie could spot a smile too; Uncle Robin mostly seemed conflicted between pride at Vera’s ambition and disappointment at her effort to spite her mother. And Aunt Regina was flat out pissed, and trying not to show it so that Vera couldn’t accuse her of undermining the sanctity of the election (they were cut from the same cloth, nurture over nature, and Vera totally would). Dad, though… Dad clearly thought that this unexpected campaign was the best and funniest thing to happen in Storybrooke in ages, a callback to his chaos pirate days or something. He handed out buttons at the docks, and at the Sheriff’s station, and at Granny’s - especially if Aunt Regina was there to see it.

“I’m just here to support the cause,” he says smoothly. Not that Charlie believes that for a second; even though she’s sure he is proud, in his own weird way, it’s definitely for his own entertainment too. She halfway remembers him running for mayor one year when she was a kid just to piss Aunt Regina off. Maybe she’s carrying on the world’s stupidest family tradition or something.

“Now tell me, Madam Mayor,” he continues, deftly ignoring Charlie’s irritation and general foul mood - seriously, you’d think he’d be more considerate of his daughter - “what will you do first, once you’re elected?”

“Oh, we’re so not winning the election,” Vera snorts.

“Now lass, I wouldn’t be so sure of that. I’m told that the democratic system is full of surprises - ”

Despite Dad’s best attempts at encouragement, Vera just keeps laughing. “Oh no. I won’t. I’m a friggin’ teenager running for mayor, it’s not going to happen. And even if it does, I’ll resign after a week at most. I’ve still got high school and college and drama club, I don’t have time to be mayor.”

“So this is just to get back at your mother, then?” Dad asks. “On the one hand, I’m always happy to see Regina sweat a bit, but as a parent I feel like I shouldn’t encourage this kind of mutiny, lass.”

Charlie takes a sip of her hot chocolate, leaning back to watch the show. Frankly, this looks like it will be the most entertaining part of this whole idiotic affair.

The half a grimace that Vera pulls in response sure is a look, at least. “I mean, kind of? But mostly I’m hoping to get some bargaining power. I figure, if I concede - or at least resign and give the office back to Mom… maybe we can negotiate an extended curfew.”

It’s diabolical, truly. Charlie’s kind of impressed, not that she’ll ever admit it. Her dad clearly is, too, as he barks out a laugh and grins back at Vera. “That’s quite the plan you’ve concocted, Miss Mills-Locksley. A pirate after my own heart. You have my vote.”

“Thanks, Uncle Kil; I’ll be counting on that the Tuesday after next.”

———

They do lose, of course; they’re a couple of teenagers running for office, one more willingly than the other. It was inevitable, no matter how many campaign buttons Killian Jones hands out everywhere in town.

There is a negotiation, however, where Vera agrees to give a concession speech supporting her mother’s re-election in return for a revised curfew. The extra hour on Friday and Saturday nights isn’t much, but it feels like a big victory now that all is said and done. Charlie’s just glad it’s over; she certain won’t be pursuing a career in politics.

(The button, however, stays on her dad’s desk in a special little frame Mom bought just for him. She’s never going to outrun the whole fiasco, but as far as Dad’s concerned, maybe that’s not all bad.)

#captain swan #cs ff #future fic #my writing #Election Day #If I Could See Your Face Once More #Vera is kind of a little shit #and Charlie is so done #I love them both

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mikami · 5 years ago

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Death Note Audio Drama 02

Disk 2: Collateral Damage - a summary / partial translation

Disk 1 and an attempted explanation of What This Is are here.

This episode also isn’t particularly wild as far as plot diversion goes, but it changes a key element of how Death Note manipulation works and.... introduces a whole lot of Matsuda trivia, somehow. We also say hi and bye to Naomi.

___________________

We begin with Naomi tracking down the bus driver of the busjacking. The driver is really annoyed that people keep tracking him down to ask him about it. Naomi asks about Raye. (Her vacation pic is from Honolulu in this version). Naomi presses the driver to tell her as much as he remembers about the other passengers.

_____

TITLE MUSIC PLAYS

_____

We’re back in time. Light is trying to think about how to get Raye Penber’s name. His dad’s computer has no notes about it. Light deduces that his dad doesn’t even know about the tailing. Ryuk brings up the eye deal.

RYUK: I can offer you the eyes of a shinigami.

LIGHT: U-uh, you mean a real pair of eyes? That’s disgusting!!

RYUK (amused): No, I just mean the power of those eyes.

The lifespan halving gets brought up and Light just goes “uhm... no thanks”, literally.

LIGHT: Are there any more surprises? Some kind of bonus point system? Fine print?

RYUK: Uuuuuhm, can’t think of anything much right now.

LIGHT: You could have written it into the Death Note, alongside the other rules. I don’t like to be led by the nose, I’m not your goddamn----

RYUK: ... what?

LIGHT: I am not your puppet.... But I can get one for myself.

RYUK: I don’t get it.

LIGHT: I know now, how to get my pursuer’s name. And that’s without making any kind of contract with you.

_______

A TV transmission. An attorney has issued a lawsuit against prisons for the way prisoners die. His client died of heart attack after writing a pentagram in his own blood. He was close to being pardoned. The lawyer says that the government has a duty to ensure safety of the prisoners, no matter what they are in for.

_______

L and Soichiro discuss the murder and other abnormal murders like it. They have Soichiro be the one to discover the “L did you know” message, oddly. But they don’t really detail how it is coded, so it might have just literally been written down word by word in this version. L tells Soichiro to not tell anyone about this, not even his team. Soichiro immediately says he’ll only keep it in her personal data files.......

_______

RYUK: Are you really sure you should snoop around your dad’s office like this?

LIGHT: If you want a useful way to keep your eyes busy, why don’t you keep watch?

RYUK: I am not your partner. Oh, an apple. [eats]

LIGHT: Luckily, I can do just fine without your help. A-ha! Interpol listed them all!

RYUK: All your extremely dramatic deaths?

LIGHT: More or less. Seems like not all I wrote into the notebook actually happened.

They go over the stipulations of manipulation needing to be physically doable for the victim.

LIGHT: And now I just need... a catalyst.

_______

News transmission. A news entry about the killer of the Amane parents having died. Channel switch. A Christmas-themed advertisement for Space Land. Channel Switch. A news feature about Kiichiro Osoreda and his failed bank robbing.

______

Light meets Yuri and Yuri’s dialogue is kept pretty accurate to the manga, which is something that I found really disappointing actually. Light’s and Ryuk’s dialogue here is also very close to the original.

Raye Penber complains that he’d like to do real policework at some point again, otherwise he acts the same as in the manga here.

The whole busjacking is just really manga-close. But when Raye says he’s police undercover...

LIGHT: Oh, really? And how do I know you’re not in cahoots with this madman?

PENBER: And who are you? A detective?

YURI: His dad is a detective, that’s why he’s so smart.

LIGHT: Do you have ID? Otherwise I’ll have to deal with you first.

PENBER: Of course! Here.

LIGHT: Raye Penber... FBI? What is the FBI doing on a bus to Space Land?

PENBER: This isn’t really the time for that, boy.

LIGHT: Alright, cowboy, then toss your lasso already.

I cannot overstate that he literally says this. Word by word. After that, the scene returns to its canon version. The bizarre thing is that Ryuk explains the plan out loud, including telling Light’s name to Otoharada. Of course, Otoharada is brainwashed and acting according to script, but still weird.

_______

News transmission. The busjacking gets described. Light turns the news off and shows the Death Note entry to Ryuk, who reads it out loud.

______

We hear a New Year’s countdown.

WATARI: What in Hercules’ name was that?

INTERPOL REP (still clinking champagne glasses): It’s the time difference, Mr. Watari! It’s midnight, here in the USA.

WATARI: Oh... I am so very sorry. I must have lost my overview.

INTERPOL REP: Forget about it. Just a moment.

She leaves the party room. She informs Watari of the deceased FBI agents. It happened three days ago, but she only got the report now, thanks to the holiday crunch. She now refuses to involve the FBI further.

______

Soichiro calls L. He’s pissed about L involving the FBI, now that he’s heard.

______

Back with Watari and the Interpol Rep (her name is Paula Virilio and she’ll be referred to as Virilio in the future) are still talking about the matter. She tells Watari that on Dec 28th all the agents asked about names and photos of their coworkers, so she gave the first four the file and asked them to pass it further.

______

Soichiro is really mad about Virilio’s miss-step too. L and Soichiro work out that they need to know who sent the first email about the files. The phone call ends.

The Task Force is really mad about L still not taking the same risks as them. They actually seriously consider L being Kira for a moment.

______

The Task Force enter the hotel L is staying in. Pardon me for sometimes just saying ‘someone’ as the speaker, I find the Task Force really hard to tell about and without context cues I am often lost.

MATSUDA: A whole hotel suite? How do you earn the money for this stuff?

L: By being smarter than everyone else, Detective Matsuda.

MATSUDA: You are... [He corrects himself from the formal ‘you’ used to address adults to informal ‘you’ here] You are L....?

L: The one. Please sit down, gentlemen.

MATSUDA: He’s still a child...

L (laughs): I am old enough to vote, Mr. Matsuda. Old enough to carry a weapon, to marry, to fall in love... and to catch a murderer. And you are Chief Inspector Yagami. I also know you from TV.

SOICHIRO: Yes, here’s my ID, for protocol. This is Matsuda, as you know. Detectives Aizawa, Ukita, Mogi...

L: A group of dead men.

SOICHIRO: Excuse me, what?

L: If I really was Kira, you’d all be dead now.

MATSUDA: How can we know that, boy?

L: Because you are not dead, detective.

MATSUDA: We call that kind of thing circular logic.

L: I call someone like you an idiot.

MATSUDA: I don’t need to listen to this from a civilian, you little shitty---

SOICHIRO (softly): Matsuda.

L: You name is Touta Matsuda. Graduated from Kumamoto University. Passion for sports cars and every Thursday, you go to the cinema. Big drama. Not in a relationship right now, but in pining hope for something complicated with Noriko Takai. Hm. A very concerning sympathy for both [???? I DONT KNOW THE WORD] as well as country music. Loves Korean cuisine, but....

SOMEONE: He’s got your number, Matsuda.

MATSUDA: So what? You all can easily figure out the same from social media.

L: Yeah, that’s what I can do. Everything. About you, and your sister, and your stupid aunt who doesn’t know how to properly set the privacy settings of her account. I know where you live, you tool--

SOICHIRO: I think we got it, L.

L: Really? Kira plays this game to win. I agreed to meet you, because you were all getting nervous about working with an anonymous specialist, so I am here. To get my hands as dirty as yours. But really, is this necessary...?

SOICHIRO: What do you want, L?

L: I want you to take this seriously.

SOMEONE: In the face of 12 dead agents, matters are serious enough, I think.

L: Correct, so you take care to not become number 13. All of you have to disappear. Get off social media, get new email accounts. If you address the public or the press, you will introduce yourself with these names. You are not going to tell anyone your real names. That’s exactly why I am still alive.

And this is how we get the fake IDs.

_____

Naomi at the NPA. The receptionist refuses to let her speak to anybody from the Task Force. Light steps in, to hand in the spare clothes for his dad. His dialogue with Naomi is similar to the manga, but audio drama Light’s insistence and volunteering of excessively much info he shouldn’t have.... it makes me laugh.

LIGHT: And you are looking for my father?

NAOMI: Uh, yeah, I--

LIGHT: I can tell you’re up to speed, miss. You’re definitely correct to not just tell your matter to the next best person. Especially after those FBI murders. We’re all suspects, am I right?

NAOMI: U-uh, I didn’t say that---

LIGHT: If you’d like, I’d gladly get you in contact with my father. I’ll get through to him, even if he usually rejects calls.

RYUK: Take the bait, missy, take it...

NAOMI: Would that be alright, u-uh, Light?

RYUK: Aaand, bullseye!

LIGHT: Why don’t we take this conversation somewhere else?

RYUK: There’s just too many video cams here.

LIGHT: As long as we don’t know how Kira kills his victims, I’d suggest a less public place.

_______

LIGHT: Okay, where were we? My name is Yagami. Light Yagami.

NAOMI: Shouko Maki.

RYUK: And my name is Ryuk, but you’re not actually able to see or hear me.

LIGHT: I think Kira is capable of more than simply killing people. It seems as if he could influence their actions before their deaths.

NAOMI: I think the same. And here I thought I was alone with it. Yes, he can control people before he kills them. But that’s not all. He can also kill them through other means than heart attacks.

RYUK: Who is this little snooper?

LIGHT: Should that be the case, we might be facing even more murders than thought. There are cases that haven’t been considered in connection to Kira yet.

NAOMI: Exactly. Those might be cases Kira hoped would stay secret. I am fairly sure that someone... someone I know... has met Kira.

LIGHT: Hah. It might be hard to get someone to believe this statement.

NAOMI: That’s why I came in person to explain the circumstances of the case.

LIGHT: Wouldn’t it be even more convincing if your friend told his own story?

NAOMI: He can’t. He was one of the murdered agents.

RYUK: Oh, now it’s getting interesting.

NAOMI: He was my fiancé. He told me that he got involved in this busjacking. By now, I assume that Kira was on that bus as well.

RYUK: She’s talking about Raye Penber, wow.

NAOMI: Something wrong?

LIGHT: Why are you assuming that Kira was on the bus?

NAOMI: Name and face of the culprit were on the media day by day. He was on the run after a totally miscalculated bank robbing. And then, 8 days later, shortly after Christmas... My fiancé dies. Together with his 11 colleagues.

LIGHT: The connection seems vague to me.

RYUK: What he wants to say is.... perfect match.

NAOMI: Something must have happened there. I think that my fiancé and the culprit were used by Kira to get to the other 11 agents.

LIGHT: The culprit was hit by a car, it wasn’t a heart attack. This is how you got to the conclusion that Kira can control actions?

NAOMI: Yes.

LIGHT: That seems pretty far fetched.

RYUK: It really isn’t, lady.

NAOMI: Even the first time I heard of the busjacking, the circumstances seemed strange to me. I kept asking my fiancé questions, I basically interrogated him to tell me the story again and again.

LIGHT: And... what was his story?

______

We flash back to Naomi and Raye talking. Both of their voices are tense.

RAYE: Yes, I showed my ID to one of the passengers, okay?! Are you happy now?

NAOMI: You shouldn’t have done that!

RAYE: I know that! It was complicated. The guy wouldn’t have cooperated without me proving that I’m a cop.

NAOMI: You were undercover, Raye!

RAYE: Stop that! You weren’t there.

NAOMI: You had explicit order to not blow your cover.

RAYE: And you are the only person who knows I have done that. If you don’t tell anybody, nobody will ever know.

NAOMI: But I am not the only one. Isn’t that right? We still don’t know how Kira finds and executes his victims. You can’t afford even a single misstep.

RAYE: You’d probably prefer he’d shot all the passengers then.

NAOMI: Ugh, Raye, that’s not the point---

RAYE (hitting the table): Of course that is exactly the point!!

______

LIGHT: This whole situation isn’t free of emotions.

NAOMI: So?

LIGHT: I just want to make sure your feelings aren’t influencing your analysis skills.

RYUK: Which are working quite excellently.

NAOMI: Hey, you. I was a special agent with several decorations before I gave up my career to marry Raye. I’m not just some random brat.

LIGHT: I agree with you, the suspicion warrants a closer inspection.

They keep talking, Light himself brings out the deduction that the person Raye identified himself to was Kira.

______

We’re with Ukita on phone duty. Someone who thinks they are Kira is calling. Ukita is already pretty annoyed, even before the guy talks of other hallucinations. He hangs up quickly.

_______

SOICHIRO: is it important?

MATSUDA: No, boss. Ukita is just whining again. He doesn’t want to be on phone duty anymore. He texted: “When do I get a hotel suite with 24/7 room service?”

SOMEONE: Does he think we’re just chilling here?

SOMEONE: Probably. Uhm, do you want the final shrimp?

SOMEONE: Take it.

They then move on to talk about surveillance footage of the FBI agent deaths. They have footage from 3 deaths, one of them is Raye Penber. They have the most material on him. They realize he’s done more than a full round on the Yamanote line. They also notice him having an envelope that disappears. They conclude Kira was on the train, receiving it.

______

Light makes his first attempt to kill Naomi, same cause of death as in the manga. Naomi wants to go back to the NPA building now. Light comes with her, as he notices she isn’t dying.

_____

Ukita on the phone again. Akiko Misora is calling about her daughter Naomi being misses. Ukita is pretty annoyed (”Oh really? Was she kidnapped by aliens or something?”). Akiko explains that Naomi came to Japan with her fiancé, but he died and shortly after Naomi also fell out of contact. Akiko complains about how much paperwork getting the ashes to the US was, and says how charming Raye was and how good his Japanese was...... Ukita wants to get rid of her, until Akiko tells him Raye’s name.

____

The Task Force discusses Naomi’s existence and disappearance. She left her hotel at Dec. 29th and has been missing since. They all suspect that Naomi, being an ex-agent, has started her own investigation. But they also worry someone found her.

_____

Light explains to Naomi that the Kira team doesn’t meet with people on principle, because of the risk. He calls them ‘us’ and Naomi picks up on it, leading Light to explain he is a member of the task force. (Ryuk: “And if you believed that one, you might as well buy a fake Rolex of him now.”) Light invites Naomi to the team, like in the manga. Naomi does a lot of nervous laughing in this scene, but she does give him her real ID.

______

The task force think about Naomi, and her existence in connection to Raye being the first one to send an email to Virilio. They decide to place cameras and bugs in the houses of those who were investigated by Raye. It’s the families of Kitamura and Yagami.

______

Light writes Naomi’s name down again, this time her real one. They walk together some more. Light points out that Naomi doesn’t just want to investigate but also to hear the full story about Raye’s death.

NAOMI: I already knew on the day of that something was wrong. Raye was acting really strangely. He got up and left, without a word. He even forgot his cellphone.

LIGHT: Oh, is that unusual?

NAOMI: I followed him downstairs. He was at the reception and made them print something for him. I gave his phone to him, but he said nothing at all. He was so.. empty.

LIGHT: Distracted?

NAOMI: ... empty. Not a smile, not a kiss. He took the phone and left. At the time I still thought ‘well, maybe an order’. Next thing you know, the police arrives at the hotel. Asked me to come with them... identify the body. I have no idea what happened in the final hours of his life.

LIGHT: I do. I know the details of Raye Penber’s death down to the very last second.

NAOMI: I haven’t even told you his full name yet...

LIGHT: He entered the station via the west entrance. Past the street musician who always plays there. He passed the ticket entrance at 11 past 3. He went down to the Yamanote line, in the direction of Kanda.

NAOMI: I don’t understand... That’s only too stations if you directly take the Chuo line. Why this giant detour?

LIGHT: Because someone was waiting for him. The Yamanote line is the perfect place for a meeting. It has stops everywhere and nowhere.

_____

We launch into a flashback to the Yamanote line. Light walks up to Raye and greets him, but Raye does not answer him. Light introduces himself at more depth, even using his full name and calling himself Kira right after. Raye continues to not answer. Ryuk realizes that Raye cannot answer because that is how Light has written it down. Light keeps chatting, explaining his plan to Raye. On the train, he makes Raye watch as he writes the names of all his colleagues. He also touches Raye with the notebook, to let him see Ryuk. Raye can’t do anything.

____

LIGHT: Well, Naomi, I’m afraid Raye was just sitting there. His eyes widened a little. Panicked, you know?

RYUK: Yes, panic just about cuts it. Just like the face you are making right now, darling.

LIGHT: But he couldn’t move. Just like you right now. I was quite precise with my orders, you see?

Light continues to explain that he needed the names of the other agents and that he can do anything to people whose names he has.

_____

The task force discusses the family surveillance further. Light says the chance of Kira being among those people is 5%, but this is their only lead. Soichiro tells L to be thorough with his surveillance, like in the manga.

_____

LIGHT: All Raye could do was sit there until the time was ripe. And then get up...

RYUK: Without a word, Naomi. Silent like a fish.

LIGHT: And he left the train at Kanda station.

RYUK: And then he died.

LIGHT: Right on the platform, so to say.

RYUK: He extended his hand like in a bad movie. As if he wanted to say ‘I am cursing you’ or something.

LIGHT: And thus, Raye Penber died. I find it regrettable.

RYUK: Because he wasn’t a murderer. Which you also aren’t, Naomi. Just wrong place, wrong time... Collateral damage.

LIGHT: But I think you understand, Naomi, that I can’t leave you alive, if I want to keep working. I know you want to move, to hit me. I know that you wish above all else to take the gun out of your pocket. But none of that will happen, because I already put your final moments into motion. And that means I’m the one who’s in power here.

Ryuk asks what she’ll do. Light explains that he wrote the same conditions as on the first try, about her suicide.

LIGHT: So Naomi, I think you know what to do. Now go.

RYUK: And there she went. A woman with a mission.

LIGHT: Hey, Naomi! Want me to call my dad? Still want to talk to him, tell him everything you learned today? Hm? .... and she just keeps walking.

RYUK: She didn’t even say goodbye. I hope it was worth it. This new direction you’ve taken, it’s going to change everything.

LIGHT: What new direction?

RYUK: Now you’re no longer simply a criminal. You’re a police killer.

#death note #light yagami #l lawliet #naomi misora #touta matsuda #audio drama translations

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bmared · 4 years ago

Text

Forgiveness.

To some, it's the literal definition.

To me, it meant letting someone have their way with whatever they want.

After a long, difficult battle, the shark themed villain, dubbed "Placoi" by the media, seemed to disappear into thin air.

"Damn it, she always seems to get away, doesnt she?" My young ward, Overcharge, asked.

I only nodded in agreement, but the smile on my face showed nothing but absolute joy. I could barely contain my excitement, and it took all my effort not to squeal with joy, like my mild mannered alter ego would. After months of battling, and racking up millions of dollars in damages, we were so close to stopping her.

Back in our lair, on a remote island, I'm taking off my super suit, when my phone gets a call.

"Miss Mabry," it's my assistant. "You have an appointment in twenty. Get here on time or I'm removing your coffee priviledges."

"Okay, Piper, I-" I was cut off.

"You have a caller ma'am. Someone named 'Alyssa Dukes'? D'you want me to patch her through?" Piper asked.

I rubbed my temples. Fifth time today I've had a random caller. It better not be a marketer.

The call goes through and I hear on the opposite end,"Hello? Is this Miss Mabry?" The voice is very familiar.

"Yes this is, how can I help you?" I answer with confusion.

The caller, Alyssa, replies,"We need to talk about your work ethic. You, almost catching me, again? Hahaha."

A chill goes down my spine. "How, in the hell, did you find out?"

"Tracker." She replies. "You use a tracker on all your shit to keep track of it. Last week, a prototype coffee machine went missing from one of your stores. Unfortunately, the chip wore out after an hour. Fortunately, I was able to mimic the signal with my own piece of crap hardware, and what do i find? Miss Alyx Mabry is "Shark Match"? I mean, c'mon. Give me a little credit."

"What happens now?" I ask.

"Now, nothing. But a week from now, you'll know. And, dont worry. I wont share your secret as long as your secretary deletes this audio as soon as you've finished tracking my signal. Come alone. I'll be there by myself."

The call ends, and I have a location.

"Ma'am?" Piper asks.

"I guess I'm losing coffee priviledge, huh?"

"Same cover?" She prompts.

"No, tell them I just didn't want to come."

--------------------------------------------------

I get to the site the call led me to, and I find it's an abandoned warehouse on the edge of town. One of mine.

I get inside, and theres a table set up for what looks like dinner. A woman sits at the table with her back to me. I pull out my capture gun and launch a volley at her. It wraps around, and I hear the click telling me its locked in place.

"Oh, tsk tsk tsk. I told you unarmed." I hear from her. "But I guess, seeing as how this isnt technically a 'firearm', it doesnt count."

I approach her, slowly.

"Dont be afraid, sweetheart. If I wanted to hurt you, I would've went after that brat of yours, 'Overcharge'. By the way, what kind of douche calls 'imself 'overcharge'?"

I round the table and sit in the open chair.

"So, why did you call?" I ask, eyeing the spaghetti.

"I didn't poison it, if that's what your wondering." She answers. "And, I called you here because I have a proposition for ya'."

"Not interested" I answer quickly.

"Oh, c'mon. You dont even know what it is."

"Dont need to." I take a bite. I dont care if its poisoned, it tastes delicious. Weird after taste, though.

"Actually, you might wanna. The sleeping pill is gonna take effect soon, what with your heightened metabolism and all."

"Damnit" I bang my head on the table.

"I'm kidding" she says.

She flexes, and the ropes break, and I flinch.

I look up at her, and shes standing next to the table, in a black suit that hugs her curves.

"All I'm asking for is your forgiveness, and I'll stop all my crimes." She says, seriously.

"You arent serious, are you? The public would never allow that! You'd be lucky with life in prison." I yell.

"But what the public doesn't know, wont hurt them." She prompts.

"Huh?"

"Hear me out," she asks," we continue this whole 'pissing contest' in public, I terrorize the citizens, bring what seems like calamity, and you 'stop me'." She says, using air quotes. "During our fights, I'll cause little to no structural damages, I'll keep my zero body count-yes, I've kept track- and I'll put up practically no fight. How does that sound?"

"Like you actually did drug me."I reply with a straight face.

"Whether or not you believe me, or even accept this, it's still gonna happen." She sits back down and takes a bite of bread.

"What even prompted this?" I ask.

"I fell in love, and realized who I love will never accept me the way I am right now." She says.

"Wha?"

"Look, the answers not important. Just know I'll be cutting back on crime time."

"Why couldnt you have just said that?"

"Would you have believed me?"

I take a second.

"Yeah, you're probably right."

--------------------------------------------------

Months later, and she was true to her word. I'd only fought her 12 times, about a third of her original time, and not so much as a scratch was put on the buildings.

During those months, I actually spent time with her, learning her past, trying to understand her. After hearing her story, it was no wonder she did what she did. With parents who acted like that, I woulda snapped. Slowly, ever so slowly, I realized we had a blossoming friendship. I saw a lot -probably too much- of myself in her. We got into a rhythm of after fighting, to sit down and talk.

After the twelfth fight, I finally had the courage to ask, "So, who was this mysterious man you fell in love with?"

She looked at me with a pained look.

"Nevermind that," she waved away the question. "Tell me, is there anyone in your life whose caught your eye?"

"Nuh-uh. You cant turn this on me. I asked you first." I stared her down.

"Fine." She said, breaking eye contact and staring at her lap, where she cradled a cup of tea. "First, before I tell you, you ahve to answer this question."

"It better not be a relationship question."

"Its not." She says. She looks around, closes her eyes, and stares at me, saying, "Do you think anybody can be redeemed? Do you think anyone can get forgiveness for any deed done, barring murder?" She bites her lip in worry.

I shake my head and giggle a little. "You've already asked this, and I said yes."

"I know, I just need to get enough courage to confess to you." She says.

"Wha-?"

She interrupts."I fell in love with you, but because I'm a villain, and you're a hero, I thought I could never tell you that. But, after all this time, I've grown as a person. I've still got some way to go, though."

"I-im flattered that you think that way, but-"

"You're straight, arent you, of course you are, why wouldnt you be. You're literally the perfect woman, and her I am, being a negative influence on everyone. I should've never invited you over, I'm sorry." She runs away, before I could stop her.

I get up and call after her, yelling "Alyssa!" But she either cant hear me, or doesn't want to. I dont panic, though. I cant. My phone starts to ring, and Its my assistant.

"Damnit Piper" I answer. "Now's probably the worst time. What do you want?"

"Its almost time for your speech. And, my names Jannet." She says blankly. Speech? I think to myself.

"Sorry, Jannet. I'm still trying to get used to Piper not being here." Is what I actually say.

"You're the one who promoted her."

I hang up and look towards the door Alyssa ran out. I take a step towards it, when my phone rings with a reminder. I glance at it, it says 'Mayoral inaugural speech'.

I put my phone down, and race towards the other door. I open it, and inside is my suit.

"Well, Shark Match," I say to myself," Time to Come out of the closet so your crush doesn't destroy New Yallk City. Man, sounds like a bad autobiography. Or a fanfiction title.

-------------------------------------------

The Mayor is exactly like you'd imagine him. Slimy and not particularly firm in any ideology that doesn't secure his vote. As a citizen asked to prepare a speech to secure to African American vote, I lost all faith in this man. But today I lost the additional bit of faith I didn't even realize I had. I don't like to keep up with politics, as someone in my line of work shouldn't, so it was a surprise to me when, in the middle of my speech, someone from the paper yelled "Why are you against gay marriage? Is it because of your parents."

"Who said that?" I yell. "I was trying to find some way to put it, but it didnt feel natural until now. It'd be pretty bad for my community if I went against it, now wouldn't it? I didnt even realize this man" I point to the mayor, "thought like that. What, do I need to wear the lesbian flag as a Cape now? Actually, that be awesome."

I shoot one more glare at the mayor, who's sweating by now. "Give him one term. If he doesnt clean up his act by then, I'll run for mayor myself. I'll even reveal myself at that point. Hows that sound?" The crowd cheers.

The dinner afterward was a littel awkward on his end, but only one thought kept going through my head. 'Did Alyssa see?'

----------------------------------------------

It was midnight when I heard my window squeak. I heard footsteps come close to my bed, a piece of paper get placed on my nightstand, and footsteps retreat.

I wait a minute, then get out of bed and turn on a light. The paper says "This friday, Same warehouse, 9pm. Wear something sexy, I need to apologize.

-Signed

Alyssa dukes"

I smile and set the note back down, pleasant thoughts accompanying me to dreamland..

#writing prompt #my own oc #hopefully this isnt that much of garbage #short story #im a terrible writer

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makeste · 6 years ago

Text

BnHA Chapter 214: 4th Popularity Poll and 5th Set Climax

Previously on BnHA: Deku met a Hellboy-looking dude in another one of his One For All Dreams and they had a chat! This friendly yet intimidating fella told Deku that the power that had just exploded out of him was actually the dude’s quirk, Blackwhip. It turns out that OFA hasn’t just been stockpiling physical power; all six of the prior wielder’s quirks are included in the package as well! It’s just that up until now, none of the other wielders has ever been able to access them. Before vanishing back into the dream abyss, Deku’s new friend told him he needed to gain better control of his emotions, as his anger toward Monoma was what triggered Blackwhip’s rampage and made it so difficult to handle. Back in the real world, Deku awakened unharmed thanks to Ochako and Shinsou’s efforts. But since the teachers hadn’t called off the battle yet, Monoma came rushing in to attack, with the rest of Team B not being far behind. Mina and Mineta showed up to battle Yanagi, Shouda, and Kodai (they really need to do something about that number disadvantage), while Ochako battled Monoma and Shinsou got ready to take on Deku. The teachers are still watching btw, but it seems like they want to see how this plays out.

Today on BnHA: The newest popularity poll results are revealed and I have a lot of thoughts. A lot of thoughts. Vlad and All Might question why Aizawa wants to let the kids keep fighting, and Aizawa says it’s cuz they’re all still trying their hardest to win. Mineta saves Mina’s life and then completely ruins it because of course he does, but she takes it in stride and uses him to attack the others by flinging him at high speed to ricochet endlessly off of his grapes in a Gran Torino-esque fashion. Monoma tries to attack Deku with One for All but it doesn’t do anything (fortunately for Monoma), and Ochako then takes him down while Deku goes after Shinsou. Deku by the way is fighting quirkless because he’s worried that if he tries to use OFA right now he’ll lose control and put everyone in danger again. He and Shinsou start tusslin’ and we have a flashback to when Ponytail!Aizawa (omg) was training Shinsou on how to use his capture weapon. Back in the present, Shinsou uses the scarf to send a bunch of heavy pipes crashing down towards Deku. But Deku chooses this moment to make peace with himself and his quirk, and catches the pipes using Blackwhip.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my mostly-unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’m caught up with the manga now at chapter 225, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

how are BnHA’s Jump covers always so epic you guys

Shinsou you better watch out, Deku’s fist is too close for comfort. well you’re the one who wanted to fight him again buddy

all right now let’s check out that character poll

oh, nice

BUT WHERE ARE MY POLL RESULTS. HOLD ON A SECOND, I’M GOING TO THE WIKI TO INVESTIGATE

...okay so apparently the results were actually in chapter 207? but the color spread wasn’t released until this chapter wtf why

okay well let me analyze the color page first, and then I’ll go find and complain about the poll results

BAKUGOU AND DEKU’S SWORDS. okay I’ve seen this image before and I love it so much, and that is of course because it’s a sequel to the color page from chapter 120. and the two of them are now each carrying one half of All Might’s sword. basically this is symbolic confirmation that the two of them together will carry All Might’s legacy forward. this is so important to me you guys. this brings me so much joy and happiness

can we talk about what Hawks is wearing. I thought this was a medieval AU, but he’s looking rather steampunk to me. what, are you too cool for D&D, Hawks? also is that a literal hawk. that you’re holding. for some reason. huh

can we talk about what Todoroki is wearing?? and also what the actual hell is going on with his face? he’s wearing some sort of weird mask. and his outfit looks nothing like it did in the previous AU color spread. was Horikoshi just being extra or is this some indicator of a crazy plotline coming up for him somewhere down the road?

I notice my boy Aizawa is missing from the top ten, which is AN ACTUAL CRIME THAT SHOULD BE REPORTED TO THE POLICE, but! on the other hand! BEST FUCKING JEANIST OH MY GOD. WELCOME BACK BEAUTIFUL PRINCE. PLEASE HEAL UP SOON

loooooool Endeavor being in the top ten must have pissed off lord knows how many people. it would have pissed me off, before the Endeavorhawks arc. but I’m cool with it now. I get it. having him as your favorite doesn’t mean you’re giving a ringing endorsement of all his actions; it just means he’s a compelling character who’s been getting some really good development lately. still absurd that he’d be ranked over Aizawa, but if I’m honest with myself it really should be Jeanist who was bumped down for that. he’s just there because Japan apparently shares the same weird tastes as myself. by the way how fucking strange is it to see Jeanist without any Jeans holy shit is that even allowed

and winding down here, (1) I’m glad to see All Might still in the top ten ranks at least, (2) Iida is a handsome boy and I love how his armor is reminiscent of his Ingenium costume here, and that he’s the one actually riding the dragon (be careful Iida or my idiot son is going to fall right off its head), (3) Kirishima is still as popular as ever I see, and lastly (4) Momo being in the top 10 is giving me life and I hope she gets some more spotlight this year! it was great to see her as the head of her respective Joint Training battle team

okay! so now let me find the list from chapter 207

holy shit, okay so first of all let me just say that apparently this poll received almost 81,000 votes. for comparison, the third poll only received about 36,000

so having said that, it is absolutely astounding that my boy Bakugou came in at number one yet again, with a margin of over 1000 votes. glad to see you being appreciated boyo

and Shouto made it to #2 for the first time! good job hot and cold! the Endeavorhawks arc definitely gave him a boost as well I think. and well deserved!

and my boy Deku at #3, but while the difference between Katsuki and Shouto is only about 1200 votes, the difference between Shouto and Izuku is more than 7,400. basically the top two are in a league of their own here goddamn

and Hawks is all the way at #4! holy shit! more than 4,500 votes between him and Deku, mind, and Kirishima is nipping at his heels less than 200 votes away from him, but still, that’s amazing given how recently he made his debut and how relatively few chapters he’s been in. I expect the number of votes for him to skyrocket in the next poll, assuming we get more of that double agent storyline. Touya -- I mean Dabi -- is probably gonna get a boost too lol

my boy Finest Jeanist on God’s Green Earth is next at 6th, and then MOMO IN 7TH PLACE YAAAAAY GO MOMO

and Endeavor made it to 8th! HOLY SHIT ENDEAVOR YOU FINALLY BEAT ALL MIGHT IN THE APPROVAL RATINGS. THESE TRULY ARE MAD DAYS

Iida beat All Might as well and made it to #9! though only by 100 votes

and All Might is in 10th, and then Aizawa is at 11th. oh Aizawa. you were upstaged by a crotchety old man seeking to make amends for his past sins, and a denim-clad meme who nearly made the ultimate sacrifice against AFO and then proceeded to not be in the manga for 120 chapters and counting. but it’s okay you were never in this for the fame

anyways the rest of the results are listed here, but some quick parting remarks:

Gang Orca came in at 15th, presumably thanks to his EXTRA GUIDANCE

my boy Denki is in 16th place and I want him to keep moving up! go kick Shindou’s ass. how the hell did that tool make it all the way to 14th place

Ojiro is still inexplicably popular to me. he’s a nice guy but you could replace him with a cardboard cutout of himself probably and I bet you it would take some time before anyone noticed something was off

Jirou is at 21st despite her performance in the Band AU arc and that is fucked up, people. WHERE IS THE RESPECT

Shinsou somehow went down despite finally making his reappearance in the series?? I seriously don’t understand how popularity works, at all

Overhaul beat Mirio by 3 votes and while I’m so psyched Mirio did better than the last poll (up to 26th place! these 455 people have impeccable taste), this fact is utterly depressing to me. did these people actually read the arc, for real

NIGHTEYE IS AT 27TH AND I’M SO SAD. not about him being at 27th, because that’s actually pretty good. but just, you know. because once again I am reminded that he’s dead sob

lastly, in the American popularity poll Bakugou received 38,000 fucking votes holy shit. we may not have any fucking clue how to vote for presidents but at least we fucking got something right, goddamn. and Mirio in 9th place. and Aizawa in 6th. you guys are all right, US fandom

anyways that took like 25 years and if I’d known it was going to be this long I would have saved the poll to be its own damn recap lol. but now on to the actual chapter!

lol so Vlad is like ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS, YOU DON’T WANT TO STOP THEM??

Vlad this is just how we do things around here. not all of us can be ~safe~ teachers whose students don’t get attacked and abducted every Wednesday afternoon. some of us like to live on the edge and be super irresponsible because we’re lazy and also because the students will honestly manage to get into trouble regardless of whether we do our jobs or not

and anyways Aizawa says that if Deku’s quirk acts up again he’ll stop it so it’ll be fine

and All Might’s asking Aizawa why

well it’s obviously because he wants to give Shinsou a chance to complete his examination. and maybe he wants to see how the kids deal with this unexpected twist as well. so long as nobody gets hurt, why not

oh my god Aizawa

this man is fighting to reclaim that top 10 spot. never give up. never surrender

so we’re cutting to panels of all 9 battlin’ kids, and he says all of them are still trying to win this battle

because fucking plus ultra, in other words

sob I should be more indignant shouldn’t I. has this school actually made me come around to their way of thinking

nah, it’s only because everything is clearly fine now. had this scene taken place even 90 seconds earlier I would have been all “WHAT ARE YOU DOING, OF COURSE YOU SHOULD STOP THEM”

lol what

he just shows his affection in some very strange ways tbh

anyway so here we go! back to the kiddos! Deku and Shinsou are each holding onto Shinsou’s scarf and staring each other down!

and now Shinsou has GONE FISHIN’

this is beyond hilarious to me. oh my god. Deku you could just let go

but I guess he thought he could out-muscle him. like if anything, he’d be the one pulling Shinsou down to where he is. but instead he’s falling off of the platform where he and Ochako were standing

and Ochako’s running over and she’s all “Deku lost...?! in a power struggle?!”

that makes it sound like Game of Thrones lmao

Deku’s glancing back up at her and says he can’t use his quirk right now because he’s worried about putting everyone in danger again

yeah, that’s probably a good call. at least until you get a handle on your emotions. even ol’ Hellboy was all “much as I love my awesome fucking quirk, it’s been powered up to here and back now so results may vary”

Ochako says that in that case they should retreat and regroup

lol how are you going to fucking retreat. this has already turned into a melee battle, they’ll just follow you

and Deku says that if they retreat now, they’ll lose

ah, good point

this is their chance to capture him, when he’s exposed and his quirk which relies heavily on stealth and surprise has been neutralized

Ochako’s jogging over to him

oh my god

IT’S THE BATTLE HE’S BEEN PREPARING FOR HIS ENTIRE LIFE

oh to see Katsuki’s reaction to this. sigh

oh. but Deku is dotting and he says “not exactly”

what are you up to you mysterious little chia pet

meanwhile ASHIDO MINA IS BEING A TOTAL BADASS AND I’M HERE FOR IT

THIS ACID MAY STING! A BIT!!

(ETA: you know, I made fun at the time, but given all the other shit we’ve seen today, I have to give her credit for at least warning her opponents before attempting to maim them.)

and class B is just doing the same damn thing as before

I’m surprised they’re not trying to go on offense. mind you, it shows that they have a lot of respect for Mina’s offense and they don’t feel like getting pummeled by acid this fine afternoon, which is understandable

oh shit but here we go

MINA YOU BETTER DODGE THAT SHIT, SHOUDA’S QUIRK HAS A LOT OF POTENTIAL TO BE RIDICULOUSLY BROKEN IF HE USES IT RIGHT

...holy shit

QUICK, LET’S ENJOY THIS BEFORE HE SOMEHOW RUINS IT. WHY CAN’T WE LIVE IN THE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE WHERE HORIKOSHI GAVE US A LOVABLE, FUNNY, AND COOL MINETA AND NOT THE HOT GARBAGE PERV THAT WE HAVE TO PUT UP WITH INSTEAD

good job Mineta. how many panels before you say something stupid to enrage us all again

oh shit I scrolled down to the rest of the page and SO FAR SO GOOD?! wow this is like a record

Mineta did something smart and creative and swooped in to save a teammate and didn’t say or do anything perverted to ruin it?? better get me an umbrella cuz I suspect the other shoe will be dropping shortly

(ETA: 3... 2...)

aaaaaaaaaaaand the very first panel on the next page is him being smacked into Mina’s chest as a result of the twin impact, apparently just as planned

well so much for that. he made it a whole five panels though

hey, imagine if Horikoshi had written that scene and then not thrown in that last part in for absolutely no reason. imagine if Mineta was like that all the time. underestimated and mostly overlooked because of his mascot-like appearance and oddball quirk, but impressing us all with surprisingly clutch saves at crucial moments. kind of like the little niche that Aoyama has established for himself. it honestly wouldn’t be that hard to make Mineta an interesting and actually funny character, and the fact that we’re going on five years of the same old shit instead is kinda disheartening

anyways, enough mourning what could have been, I guess. in the meantime Mina is grabbing him and hurling him lmao

and he’s bouncing around like a ping pong ball and class B is trying to avoid getting hit by him

oh my god. he is the special attack

ain’t nobody wanna get hit by that. that’s a smart move

Shouda says he wants to pull back, but they’re kind of surrounded now and it’s hard to come up with a plan in the spur of the moment

all credit to Mina’s astounding creative mind, which has fucking flourished in these last couple of arcs and I hope it continues to do so. she is brilliant

Tsuburaba says Shouda is having to protect the other two because they’re weak at close-range combat? say what now?? how is a telekinesis quirk weak at close-range combat, exactly?? just float some metal shit into the air and wait for Mineta to inevitably ricochet into it and concuss himself and just like that you’re free to take on Mina three against one. even someone as awesome as her would struggle with that

meanwhile, Jirou is wondering why the hell the teachers haven’t stopped the battle yet

and here’s the first we’ve seen of Katsuki since The Thing happened, so yeah you bet I’m posting that shit

he looks openly confused, and not in his normal “I don’t know what’s going on and that pisses me off so Imma make an angry face” way. but in a more overtly “what the fuck” way. not that dissimilar to the way he looked when he was watching All Might battle AFO, but with less panic, thankfully

it definitely says a lot about how far his relationship with Deku has come that this is his reaction, though. confusion and maybe slight concern, rather than anger or jealousy or automatically thinking this is something new Deku had up his sleeve that he was purposely hiding from him. he really has come such a long way since Ground Beta

anyway so here’s Deku and Ochako taking on Monoma

at least someone is using that TK quirk. or is that twin impact that he’s using. well either way, at least he’s doing something and not just standing there

oh look more Monoma monologuing

officially the most dramatic motherfucker who ever lived. but more importantly,

OH MY GOD HE’S GOING TO USE ONE FOR ALL LASKDFLKJSLKDJFLK DON’T DIE MONOMA

why he would attempt to use a quirk that he has seen breaking its original owner’s bones and only MOMENTS AGO causing its owner intense pain as he flailed around out of control is beyond me. he kind of snapped here and got all go big or go home, I guess

Deku I assure you it very much can

now Ochako’s telling Monoma to stop and that it’s dangerous! and she’s charging toward him!

OH MY GOD

HE WAS FUCKING BLUFFING?? HOW

AND OH MY GOD OCHAKO, I STAN YOU SO FUCKING HARD RIGHT NOW THOUGH. IS IT JUST ME OR ARE THE LADIES THE UNDISPUTED MVPS OF THIS FIGHT!? DEKU DOES SHE HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING HERSELF OR WHAT

wow what??

so he was trying to activate it but it wouldn’t work?

well (1) he’s damn lucky it didn’t, and (2) is that because Deku’s technically quirkless? or is it because the nature of OFA makes it so it can’t be copied or passed on to anyone against the owner’s will? that is really convenient if so

(ETA: or (3) he did copy the quirk but not the accumulated power stored within it. oooh I have some thoughts on that. gonna try and take some time this evening to type out that OFA essay.)

Shinsou’s trying to save his partner, but!

oh shit

he looks so caught off guard sob. Deku are you gonna punch him. please be gentle he is still new to this

once again, I submit for your consideration: your MVP

you see Monoma, this is how you take a supposed “supporting character” quirk and elevate it to its max potential

so now Deku’s tackling Shinsou and they’re tumbling onto the ground

Shinsou’s making another attempt to get Deku to talk but our boy is too smart for that shit now. fool him once, shame on you. fool him twice, shame on him. but you still haven’t managed to fool him thrice so it looks like he can be taught!

and Shinsou is again saying he’s not the same as when they last fought

ahhhhhhhh we’re cutting back to the teachers now ARE WE GONNA GET SOME SHINY MENTOR FEELS

YESSSSSSSSSSS

HOWIRHFALSKDLFJL THE PONYTAIL LIVES, MY FRIENDS

oh my god oh my god

mentor feels! All Might you’re not the only one who’s been training kids out in the woods in the wee hours of the morning!

Aizawa is self-taught holy fucking shit this man’s talent is severely underrated

THE PONYTAIL. I NEED TO MENTION IT AGAIN FOR OBVIOUS REASONS

and I don’t think I’ve rambled about this yet, but! now we’re finally getting to see why Aizawa took such a personal interest in Shinsou, and I’ve been waiting and waiting for this and I’m so happy we’re finally getting to it. he sees himself in him. they both have powerful quirks capable of incapacitating even the strongest opponents, but the catch is that those quirks are mental rather than physical. physically they are essentially quirkless, and so if they ever get caught off-guard -- or pitted against giant robot opponents, or opponents who are otherwise immune to their abilities -- they’re at a huge disadvantage

so here’s this kid who’s very much like him, and Aizawa has no obligation to reach out to him, but he does so all the same, because he cares, and if he can help this kid fulfill his dreams and not have to stumble along and make it up as he goes the way he had to, isn’t that worth doing?

Aizawa Shouta let me just once again say that it’s a war crime that you were not ranked in the top ten, and I think we need to conduct a special investigation into these poll results. I’m only seeking justice and the truth

OKAY BUT THIS IS SOME INDIRECT HIGH PRAISE FOR THE ENTIRETY OF CLASS “NOT A SINGLE ONE OF US WAS EXPELLED” 1-A THOUGH AND I CAN’T EVEN DEAL

AND THEN THE FLASHBACKS TO SHINSOU AFTER HIS FIRST BATTLE, AND BEING SO HARD ON HIMSELF. BECAUSE HE WANTS TO LIVE UP TO AIZAWA’S FAITH IN HIM. OH MY GOD I CAN’T, THIS IS SO GOOD THOUGH AND I’M EMOTIONALLY COMPROMISED

so now Shinsou’s shouting again that he’s not the same as he was back then!

and he’s using his capture weapon to bring a bunch of heavy pipes crashing on top of them!

BUT NOW DEKU IS HAVING SOME MENTOR FEELS OF HIS OWN OH GOODNESS

;________; WHY DID THAT MAKE ME TEAR UP, SOMEBODY EXPLAIN

(ETA: I think because it’s a reminder that all of the past wielders of OFA are just as good and pure as All Might in their own ways, and they’ve all been working tirelessly to fight evil this whole time, and it’s like Deku doesn’t have just one mentor, but he has eight now.)

AAAAAHHHHHHHH

LOOK AT HIM USING BLACKWHIP IN THE SAME MANNER AS THE CAPTURE SCARF WEAPON, THOUGH?? DID SHINSOU INSPIRE HIM

(ETA: of course he did. this is Deku, he takes and learns from everyone. I love it.)

AND JUST LOOK AT THIS FUNKY LITTLE SUCCESSOR LIVING UP TO THE FAITH THAT’S BEEN PLACED IN HIM

oh my god. what a damn chapter. this recap is almost 4000 words and it was worth it. I love this arc

#bnha #boku no hero academia #midoriya izuku #aizawa shouta #shinsou hitoshi #uraraka ochako #monoma neito #ashida mina #shouda nirengeki #kodai yui #yanagi reiko #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #shoutout to horikoshi who passed the bechdel test again today #as much grief as I give him for the mineta stuff and for his ratio of female to male heroes and ofa wielders #I gotta give him credit where it's due #and mina and ochako are amazing in this chapter right here as well #this series can be so good about some things even if other things leave a lot to be desired #that's just life I suppose #but I do appreciate the amount of asskicking from my badass ladies #and I acknowledge that it's something that's still all too rare in shounen manga #so while things may not be perfect I'll take what I can get and give my girls their props #toga mina and ochako you guys are crushing it #more of this please

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sieben9 · 6 years ago

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“the garden of forking paths” impressions

{Quick request to anyone reading: I’m watching OUaT for the first time, and I want to avoid spoilers. So, if you want to discuss something spoilery, I’d be grateful if you could start a new post for that. Thank you!}

Today on Once Upon a Time: Resist!

The new alliance against Belfrey is taking some (very) tentative steps to ruin her day, and in the flashback, something very similar is happening. Only with better organisation and a lot more leather.

please understand that this is the opposite of me complaining

Also, while I liked this episode well enough, the last two minutes or so kind of stole the whole entire show. Just saying.

We finally get some villain motivation!

And it is depressing as hell!

Yes, it also makes Belfrey immediately more interesting, but just… dead child. That’s dark. And apparently, Ella is in some way responsible for that. I assume it’s along the lines of snow being “responsible” for Daniel’s death, but she clearly still blames herself. Enough that one Tremaine offers that terrible deal, she’s ready to take it and become a murderer, rather than asking for help.

This scene also works on another level, in that it shows how well Tremaine knows Ella and knows which buttons to push to make her cooperate. It’s unsettling in a way that’s different from the direct “do this or everyone dies” ultimatum.

The fact that Ella agrees shows more than anything how incredibly alone she has been, and for a very long time. She doesn’t even think to ask for help, because she’s certain that she doesn’t deserve it. And even if she did, who would help her? Nobody ever has so far.

I think that’s why Henry has such trouble getting through to her. It’s hard to believe that someone only has your best interest in mind, despite barely knowing you, when the world so far just been horrible to you. Even Tiana and her resistance never did anything to help her, and citing “not enough evidence” seems late just a tiny bit of a lame excuse.

And it’s all the more reason why loved Regina coming in at the last moment to stop Ella from doing something she won’t be able to take back. Even if Ella doesn’t know the details, it’s clear that Regina’s advice comes from hard-earned experience. She knows exactly what she’s talking about, and she’s not willing to let someone else walk down that path without at least offering them away out.

(I also have wonder what might be going through Regina’s head, here. Because Ella’s situation, despite some superficial similarities with her own past, is much closer to Snow’s side of their story. I don’t really have a line of argument here, it’s just something I like to think about.)

A very similar situation arises between Jacinda and Roni, too, and it’s a great example of the thing the modern-day plotline does best this episode; the actual plot itself is OK-ish, but the moments between characters stand out. Each of them makes me care more about these characters, even though I know they are cursed and not entirely themselves.

The modern-day story does good things, too, not least of them making the characters appear like real people that I care about. Even if they’re all cursed and not really themselves.

A short but effective scene in this vein was the one between Jacinda and Sabine. It established the stakes for the episode (more on that later), and it showed that these two are truly friends, not just roommates who mostly get along with each other. This also nicely parallels with the flashback, where we finally get to see Tiana in an actual speaking role. I think the modern-day plot is giving us him still how this relationship will develop in the flashback.

(And in an unrelated question: does anyone have the ship name for them? Look, I love me some glass believer, and these two are wonderful as friends, but also... ::gestures helplessly::)

Back with our conspirators, I giggled about Henry being research guy (look, Belle isn’t around, you’ll just have to make do), but maybe Rogers shouldn’t be the eye on the street either, because he cannot lie. At all.

Actually, as I said in the post that tumblr ate (seriously, I swear I posted this while watching and I cannot find the thing for the life of me), nobody on this show can lie for shit. None of them. And when they do, they only ever get away with it, because everybody else is crap at lying, too, and have no idea how to spot it. The only reason Rumple’s lies ever work is that he is the only one with a decent poker face. He’s still bad at lying, he just doesn’t telegraph it!

And speaking of Rumple/Weaver (please, show, help me out here): I am about 60% sure that he’s working against Belfrey, but please don’t ask me what his endgame is, because I just do not know. Right now, I mostly feel reminded of that season 1 exchange with Emma. I don’t know if he’s working with Belfrey or against her. Probably diagonally, or something. And yes, I’ll keep working on that, thank you.

look at that smug lil’ shit, though

The whole thing with the corrupt building official seemed a bit... well, it’s either a waste of time or brilliant foreshadowing, and I won’t know until later. Because on its face, it didn’t show me much that I didn’t already know. Rogers has a strong moral compass, Weaver doesn’t, and he’s playing his own game.

OK, unpopular opinion time! (Maybe)

I loved that Jacinda burned those petitions.

No, wait, hear me out! Not because I thought “yes, petitions are stupid anyway” or “yes, this is the right thing to do!” I absolutely think it was wrong of her. It was a moment of weakness, and it was presented as such. But it was also honest to her character. At the beginning of the episode, she tells us what her priorities are. It’s not fighting against her stepmother, it’s getting her daughter back. Being apart from Lucy is her worst-case scenario and it’s killing her. So when Belfrey offers her everything she once, plus a good place for her child to live, free of worries about rent (which obviously occupy a lot of her time right now)… I don’t know, Jacinda, as she has been portrayed so far, is not the person who would just turn that offer down. She has a deeply selfish streak when it comes to her daughter, and I think it’s one of the things that makes her interesting.

Of course, she then realises that in doing so she has alienated Lucy, and disappointed her deeply.

And that is what makes her realise that if she is going to help with this, she cannot just think of herself. Lucy expects her mum to be a hero, and I think this is the point where Jacinda realises that she herself also wants to be one. And all of that culminates in the heartfelt if a little cheesy speech near the end. (Also, I will totally admit that I loved seeing the community come together against Belfrey in this way. Look, sometimes you just want some heartwarming fluff, no strings attached.)

Compared to all of that, Lucy finding that bit of the glass slipper together with Henry seemed almost like an afterthought. Though I do love how Henry has basically already adopted her, and quite independently from his feelings for her mother. My guy, have such excellent news for you. Of course, then the end of the episode happens, and…

please do not with your face, sir

That was evil. That was so not OK, Belfrey, I don’t even know where to start. And you know what? This won’t magically get better once he gets his memories back, because this grief and heartbreak will still have happened. I think it’s sometimes easy to think that the curse-memories aren’t real and therefore don’t count, but the emotions people feel due to these memories still are. I know the show never really goes into this, but this stuff still changes your entire brain chemistry. Even when he wakes up and knows it as fake, Henry will always live with the trauma of grieving for his dead wife and child, even though they never existed.

I don’t know, it’s just really messed up and I wanted to get into it a little.

And going off that graveyard scene… holy crap, that stinger! There’s a lot to unpack, starting with “clearly, Tremaine’s policy on magic is less a rule and more a very loose guideline.”

Also, Belfrey seems to know who she is and might just be the person who cast the curse, after all. I remain unconvinced because if it were that easy, we would have seen her do it by now, but she’s back on the list of suspects.

And speaking of suspect things:

Wooooow.

I mean. There is some capital-H History here. And whatever happened between these two, they’re both still pissed. Probably for different reasons. The fact that Belfrey (or Tremaine, really) basically goes to her for advice, no matter how much she dresses it up as a demand, suggests some kind of mentor/student relationship gone awry.

After a little brainstorming session with @idesignedthefjords, we narrowed the woman with the enormous hair in Belfrey’s “tower” down to either Rapunzel or the weird witch who thought a newborn was a reasonable price to ask for a couple of vegetables. (The latter of which would beg the question what, precisely, happened to Rapunzel)

Then again, this is Once, so she could be either, both, or someone completely different. My vote is for the mom in The Juniper Tree, because my vote is always for more mentions of that particular wtf-ery. (Seriously, google that if you don’t know what it is.)

So, Tremaine is not actually interested in keeping the curse a secret. Quite the opposite, in fact. She needs true belief in magic to wake up/reanimate her daughter, and getting it will destroy the person she takes it from.

I love this. So much. Because it lends a whole new layer of tension to the curse-breaking plot. Yes, of course I want all these people to become their true selves again, but I don’t want Tremaine to profit from that. Especially not if it hurts one of the people have already come to like. I am really conflicted, and I love it.

To come back to the topic of the curse for a moment… what’s really missing right now is a possible motive. If Tremaine is the one who cast it, then it would be because she thinks for some ungodly reason that her daughter can be revived more easily in the Land Without Magic. Which seems doubtful at best.

It could be Tower Lady, but if so, she either messed up royally or is playing a seriously complicated long game. Always a possibility, but again: motive. I need one.

There’s always the possibility that someone completely different cast it, but I doubt it was one of the heroes, and there’s just not enough information on the remaining cast to tell either way. (Technically, Rumple would qualify, but I refuse to contemplate a reality where that is the reason Belle isn’t around. That is the Hell Angst, and we are not going there, thank you very much.)

#ouat #once upon a time #the garden of forking paths #sieben watches ouat #sieben talks

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mashitandsmashit · 5 years ago

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America’s Got Talent: Season 14 - Auditions 6

First of all, Ra’ed was Ra’obbed! They will NEVER have a brilliant singer/songwriter like him on this show again! M. Bison never looked so FABULOOOOUUUUSSSS!!!

Kidding aside, let’s talk about our final audition, and then we’ll reflect on these auditions in general and discuss what to expect moving ahead...

So here goes!

10: The Sentimentalists. I know these two! They were some of the caretakers of the Baudelaire orphans! Boy did Count Olaf have to jump through hoops to trick THESE folks! But seriously, I find them both very entertaining, especially quirky/creepy bellhop lady...But as the judges pointed out, the tricks were lacking, and we’ve seen pretty much everything they had to offer before...They really did feel like the bargain bin Clairvoyants...I hope they improve, because I like THEM...I just don’t like the act yet...

9: Gonzo. He’s come a long way since his Muppet days...And he never looked so good! (Though I do wonder how things are going with him and Camilla...) I guess he’s dropped the usual daredevil stunts to...play the tambourine! Anyway, this was amusing, but I’ve seen other acts this season that had a little more of that silly charm...Still, that stone face and sexy outfit added a lot!

8: Matthew Richardson. Probably the best Cyr wheel acrobat we’ve seen so far...But it’s not like it was such a high bar in the first place! Don’t get me wrong, a LOT of practice must go into all this...It’s just nothing that’s gonna stick with me...This was impressive, just not super-memorable...Though I’m sure plenty of ladies are already getting their phones ready to vote for the good-looking underwear model in the glittery paint!

7: Olivia Calderon. Howie says this isn’t his cup of tea...even though back in Season 7, he gave the Wildcard to that mariachi kid who ALSO sang “My Way”! Whatever, the judges are inconsistent, what else is new? Regardless, while she didn’t hit every note perfectly, I still really enjoyed her singing and look forward to seeing *insert “Coco” reference here*!

6: Luke Islam. Surprise, surprise, Julie’s Golden Buzzer is another singer...I would have liked a LITTLE more variety, just one more non-singer outside the violin kid (and maybe a girl...Kinda interesting that this year’s GBs are proving to be a bit of a sausage fest, seeing that the majority of them are usually female, preferably of the preadolescent variety...) But despite all that, I’ll let Julie have this one, as this kid is both very likable and very talented! He may need some coaching before he’s ready for Broadway, but he’s on his way...Until then, he’s ready for AGT!

5: Kara with a K. Oh look, it’s the Southern Melissa McCarthy! I guess when in doubt, keep talking and sooner or later a joke or two will hit...Also helps if you pack some fast food in your cleavage! Anyway, while this lady could potentially become annoying, for now I would say she gave me the most chuckles as well as entertainment out of all of the stand-up comedians in this round! And she sure knows how to split...as well as fall down!

4: Duo MainTenanT. NOW these acrobatic acts are gettin’ steamy! I bet couples everywhere are watching this and whipping out their notebooks! Only from France, mon cheri! I see a lot of potential with these two, though whether or not they reach that potential is yet to be seen...

3: Revolution Queens. It’s like Malevo, but female and with more screaming! I think Malevo even used that same song in one of their performances...(So is Marilyn Manson, like, a thing in Argentina?) I still hold to my opinion that nothing beats just letting the drums, shoes and whips make the music, no backing-track involved, which Malevo spoiled us with for their first performance...So with that, they peaked too early...As for these ladies, while I’ve mostly seen this all before from Male-vo (Get it?), it is new seeing women do it...And I don’t think I’ve seen any of the men swing a whip with their mouths! Either way, I’m willing to give them a chance!

2: Chris Klafford. Who knew the Amazing Atheist had such a beautiful voice! This man has effectively dethroned Charlotte Summers as the best overall singer of the auditions. “Imagine” is a difficult song to both display one’s voice and make unique, but he pulled it off! I can now officially root for Lamont Landers to get knocked out by this guy (both figuratively AND literally! I mean look at the guy! He’s almost as big as Terry! I’m sure he’s sweet and gentle most of the time, but I would not want to get on his bad side, much less a nerd like Lamont! I wonder what it would be like if he, Terry, Ra’ed and the guy from Bir Khalsa joined into one group! All I gotta say is beware, right? I mean it would make for one hell of a wrestling troupe and-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEtm_Q2LK9g Okay, okay!)

1: Robert Finley. Looks like the Masqueraders left a man behind...While the previous entry has a more unique and polished voice, this cool cat also has an impressive voice for his age, plus the bonus of having written the song (and it was a pretty damn good song, if I do say so myself!) And as it turns out, this man is no joke: https://www.amazon.com/Goin-Platinum-Robert-Finley/dp/B076188VCZ Not only is he dropping albums, he’s even been working with the guy from the Black Keys, which is yet more automatic cool points! It’s hard to say how far he’ll make it in this competition despite how awesome he is, because the competition is STACKED! But for now, he took the stage, wrapped it up in bacon, and SIZZLED!!!

This last audition was pretty singer-centric, but I overall really liked all of the singers, and there were some pretty solid variety acts as well! Not quite the best audition, but not the weakest either!

And that about wraps it up (in bacon) for this season’s auditions, and I gotta say, it was quite solid! Everyone who made it (and were concentrated on) felt justified in some way or another...Even the stupid acts were all amusing, and even the singers who I wasn’t big on were at least in some way interesting or special...And what’s more, Simon did a pretty good job weeding out the trite! I guess he’s good for something after all...He just needed a little time to get into the swing of it...

And while the Golden Buzzers weren’t QUITE as varied as I would have liked, they do all have some kind of star quality to them, and I can see all of them earning a place in the finals, assuming they don’t cancel each other out...

But as it is, Kodi Lee IS the would-be winner of the season...While I knew he would go far, I didn’t think of him as the potential winner at first...And then something happened: Everyone kept talking about him! It’s just like what happened with artists like Kevin Skinner and Grace VanderWaal; They won by the power of their influence!

That said, after last season, I wouldn’t rule out the chances of an upset...But for that to happen, there would have to be a sizable backlash against Kodi, like with Courtney Hadwin last season...Again, I’m convinced that Shin Lim was NOT supposed to win...He was probably always meant to be the runner-up or something...But because Courtney got such a backlash by the end, he was simply the next one down...But all the better for him, right?

Anyway, we’ll worry about all of that later...For now, we have Judge Cuts to look forward to...I guess stay tuned for a list of predictions...It seems like all of the acts that appeared in the “Best of Auditions” episode are candidates for Golden Buzzers (especially the ones who already have one)! But that doesn’t necessarily mean anything.

Right now, my best guess for next week is that Brad Paisley will give it to Sophie Pecora, but we’ll wait for the other acts to be announced and see if there is anyone else who would appeal to him...Or he could just pick something unexpected like the dog act or something; I WAS wrong about the other country singer guest judges in the past...

Until then, I’ll keep you all posted on other candidates as the list continues to be updated...

Edit: Okay, the full line-up has been announced! Naturally, there’s no point in predicting any of the acts that were skimmed or skipped over in the auditions making it; Probably the only one who has even a SLIGHT shot is Jecko, but only because we saw a bit more of his act than the others...

Otherwise, I’ve counted eleven acts that HAVE been properly focused on in the auditions, which means that four of them will be eliminated (or more if they actually DO decide to put through some lesser-knowns...)

I guess I’ll start with the singers: There are three legitimate contenders in the category, who are all legitimate contenders for the game in general, each in different ways...We have Sophie Pecora, the soulful songwriter, Chris Klafford, arguably the best overall singer of the season, and Ndlovu Youth Choir, who could potentially go down as the best choir in the history of the show. I’m feeling pretty confident that all three will advance, and for one of them by means of Paisley’s Golden Buzzer...As predictable as it would be for yet another choir to get a GB, I’d say Ndlovu deserves it the most, though I guess I wouldn’t mind either of the other two (that said, Sophie will REALLY have to up her game to justify it over the high bar that the others have set).

Berywam falls under the “If they don’t make it, I’ll be pissed” category, and I’m feeling pretty confident for Lukas & Falco.

And then we have the ones who are in a slightly tougher position...Let’s start with the acrobats: There are three of them in this show, and they all involve shirtless dudes (that’s important!) One of them is sure to make it! That said, Duo Togni is out since we only concentrated on them in the auditions for a second...So that just leaves Matthew Richardson and the Messoudi Brothers. Simon did tell the former that there needs to be more in the next round, which puts some pressure on him. But at the end of the day, I think it all comes down to which of them puts on the best performance...

The Sentimentalists also have pressure placed on them from the criticism they got from both Howie AND Simon...But since they’re competing against one or two other magic acts, and they’re fairly interesting characters, they’ll probably make it regardless...

The same cannot be said for the Emerald Belles who are probably already on Howie’s chopping block...It could go either way for them...

I WOULD consider Kevin Schwartz to be a contender, but I can’t help but compare this season’s comedians to last year’s...This year’s main comedians to consider are him, Ryan Niemiller, Jackie Fabulous and Kara with a K. I guess it’s debatable whether Kara or Jackie is this year’s Vicki Barbolak, and which one’s Carmen Lynch, but Ryan definitely feels like Samuel J. Comroe...and Kevin...feels like Oliver Graves...Maybe they won’t do it COMPLETELY like last season, but I still wonder...

And finally, we have Andy Rowell, who as I said before is at a serious risk of getting pigeonholed...Maybe he’ll find a way out of it, but I’m not holding my breath...

So with all that said, here’s my most educated guess on who will make it next week:

1: Berywam

2: Chris Klafford

3: Lukas & Falco

4: Matthew Richardson/Messoudi Brothers

5: Ndlovu Youth Choir (Golden Buzzer)

6: Sophie Pecora

7: The Sentimentalists

We’ll see how accurate my guess is...next week!

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namelessblacksheep · 6 years ago

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WHY WE NEED A REVOLUTION

Growing up I recall a soft drink advert where they used to make the claim ‘the revolution will not be televised’. Given all the crap we see on TV these days I kind of hope that it is.

Don’t get me wrong, a revolution does not have to be a long series of riots or violence. It could be something completely different, but something that leads to a shift. Who knows maybe something akin to a revolution is actually taking place.

The reason I feel we need something akin to a revolution is that bubbling away under the surface of life is deep unhappiness. In the past decade or two so many things have been surfaced that have shocked us.

Across the globe, politics has quite frankly gone bat shit crazy. Unrest and discomfort in daily life are becoming the norm.

We had a global financial crisis that didn’t correct any of the wrongs that underpinned it.

On a weekly basis, we are learning that the people we celebrate and reward so highly, flout their positions and commit heinous harms. Justice is never likely to be served.

Huge corporations and powerful individuals continue to increase the divide between the haves and have nots.

It’s as if all of the rich and powerful have totally forgotten the concept of ‘with great power comes responsibility’. Failure is richly rewarded for some, irrespective of the cost it brings.

The masses though are placated with toys and avenues to keep them from rising up. I have never witnessed such a monumentally awesome age of great television. Fuck the real world problems out there, I’ve got several hundred hours of Netflix marathons to get through.

Then you feel a bit guilty that you are failing in your civic duty, so you decide to send an ironic GIF to Donald Trump – you know doing your bit.

You could cancel your Amazon Prime account and vote with your feet, but then you’d have to wait a few days for your deliveries.

You’d use a search engine to find a different provider, but you like Google. Google knows you so well that when you start typing shit it predicts what you want and you don’t need to hit another key.

It doesn’t scare you at all, not even the fact that you clearly have an Asian babes obsession or some of the suggestions are a bit worrying.

Sure, someone else could get right on that issue. Politicians for instance. They should be sorting this shit out, except they are far too busy trying to pretend to rule the world and avoid answering difficult questions.

Be honest. We are quite simply fucked right now. A revolution might be exactly what we need.

You may be in need of a little more convincing. You know as you are sat there skipping words and sentences for a quick fix that tells you whether this is worth your time or not.

5 minutes of your time, taking you from your busy life. The one where you're a battery plugged into a system that is fucking you every day. At least it all fits conveniently into your phone, I guess.

So, here it goes.

People have become weak

Everybody seems to be offended, like, all of the time. You can’t say shit anymore without someone either correcting you or reminding you of the new rules of engagement that nobody agreed to.

If you are one of these people, don’t be offended when I say that you are total Thundercunt. Seriously, I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

If you came here hoping to find something to annoy you, then you aren’t paying attention. Unplug your earphones and look at the world around you. It’s fucked. You could focus your efforts on doing something productive even if that’s being a better person, or a little less sensitive.

There’s plenty to be pissed about. People don’t want to focus on the big stuff that matters. They’d rather freak the fuck out about inconsequential nonsense that bruises their fragile egos.

We need a revolution so that we can all ‘man the fuck up’ (sorry feminazis) and start fixing shit like we’re Bob the Builder (or Betty if it makes you feel better).

We need to change the news narrative. Anyone else bored to tears with the daily Brexit coverage? Seriously, this storyline is more drawn out than the whole Ross and Rachael will-they-won’t-they saga.

For all the super-intelligent University educated geniuses that just graduated and have no fucking idea who Ross or Rachael are, go check out a TV show called ‘Friends’. It’s probably on the History channel these days anyway.

Brexit is like an un-flushable turd. A repetitive narrative that papers and broadcasters trot out every day. Seriously, this shite is more convoluted and contrived than the X Factor. It’s the epitome of the lowest form of entertainment and we need to change the record.

Whether you are for a Sunnyside-up Brexit or a Brexit with a side of Unicorn steak, I couldn’t give a damn. A revolution might at the very least give us all something new to get excited about and something we could all rally behind.

We need unity not division

Issues like politics, sport, and even mild banter have become so immersed in the underlying anger we're silently drowning in that no one seems able to have fun anymore.

I cannot remember a time when so many comedians couldn’t make a decent joke about the moronic state of the world and instead make sniping remarks to canned laughter.

Every decent sporting event seems to get overrun with people’s inability to enjoy the spectacle for what it is. Social media and chat forums are littered with petulant hatred and jingoistic tribal bullshit. The Brexit ‘have your say’ plays out like an anthem of bitterness with new vitriolic names invented every day.

We are descending into a bunch of spoiled children who express their pent up feelings through sending passive aggressive memes, angry hashtags and all manner of confusing emojis to make some innocuous point.

We are slowly becoming a mathematician with a broken calculator to solve all our problems. It can’t always be about division (see what I did there).

This diversity bullshit just isn’t working, let’s try something new like a bit of unity. You know: adding shit up to something bigger. I’m fairly sure Einstein would approve, and he was a smart guy.

Some folks need something better to do

If you spend most of your life sitting on your butt. You have all your stuff delivered to your door and your thoughts delivered to your phone or through your TV or laptop – you need a revolution.

We can call it a hobby or a social bonding activity. It’ll be a bit weird because all your new ‘friends’ might not look exactly like you, but you might learn a thing or two about the real world you live in.

Echo chambers are nice and safe because everyone in them thinks the same stuff. However, the real world is full of people ready to blow your mind in more than 140 characters or a 5-minute blog post. It could be exciting.

If you need convincing, watch the Matrix. Neo was simply sad old Thomas Anderson miserable as fuck, then he met Morpheus and learned to fly and loads of other cool shit.

If you already know what you think and it makes you comfortable to surround yourself with other people just like you, perhaps you should just join a cult and be done with it.

The system is broken

Seriously, guys, we have seriously screwed the pooch with the world at the moment.

The system’s broken and we are all just standing around waiting for inevitability to prevail.

The Avengers won't be coming to save us. Anyone who saw last year’s movie knows they are a bit down on their luck at the moment.

Thanos’ minions seem to be running the world and we all need to step up and become superheroes in our own right.

If you want to whip out the Lycra or Spandex – go for it. But do something, even if it’s just being better or not throwing hate out to the world because someone is different from you.

I don’t care if the revolution happens or even if it is streamed on Netflix or some other site. Change needs to happen and often that is as simple as everyone trying to be less of a douchebag than they might have normally been.

The only thing I can offer as a ‘reward’ or promise is that we might actually get some decent music back on the scene.

Revolutions tend to come out best in song. There has been no truly great era of music for decades now, and if ever there was a more compelling reason for a revolution this would be it.

Music is the anthem of the soul. It’s time for it to wake up and belt out something beautiful.

#writing #humour #revolution #quick #change

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