#seriously i suck

[roninkairi]

You can only reblog this today.*

*PLEASE READ THE TAGS

[jestroer]

Dream is a total wanker, and I don't even want to mention him on my blog really, but I honestly could never fucking forget the "WHY has GRIAN, who in my opinion is not great at PvP, killed me at least 8 times in PVP games, yet I have NEVER finished ahead of him in buildmart". Still the funniest fucking shit ever

[tubbytarchia]

Sorry, last one, swear!! I'll try and finish this by the 10th and then I will leave you all alone. I'm experiencing some long missed joy in creating this, please forgive my impatient excitement

[heynhay]

merry Christmas klancers 🎅

[starmocha]

Caller ID Sylus/Reader | 930 words | AO3 Sylus learns what you saved him as in your phone. A/N: Infold is a coward for not letting me name him Big Ca-Cawk in my phone. Anyway…uh, vague timeline somewhere after the Immobilized memory.

“I can’t believe you actually saved me as ‘Kitten’ in your phone,” you grumbled for the fourth time that afternoon, pacing back and forth in Sylus’ office at Onychinus base. You were still upset by the whole incident on that trip with the Evol Linkage tethering the two of you together. Through that unfortunate situation, you learned something that, honestly in hindsight, really shouldn’t have been all that surprising. It still didn’t make you any less annoyed.

“What’s the matter, sweetie? Upset?” Sylus leaned back against his desk, arms crossed over his chest, and deeply amused by the many changing expressions on your face.

“Yes, I’m upset!” you turned and yelled at him, “I have a name, you know.”

“And it is a lovely name,” Sylus acknowledged with a haughty smile, “One that so many people use to call you. How many people call you ‘Kitten?’”

“…Just you,” you conceded with a weak glare, still unhappy.

“Exactly,” Sylus responded with an easy smile, happily choosing to ignore your scowl. “I want you to have a special name only I am allowed to use.”

You muttered under your breath to yourself, completely baffled, “…but why did it have to be ‘Kitten?’”

“Did you say something, sweetie?”

“Nope!” you responded with a forced smile. Just as quickly as you had finished answering him, a sneaky little thought suddenly flashed through your mind, making your cheeks burned for a moment. You quickly composed yourself, hoping Sylus didn’t notice your brief distraction. “Forget it, it’s just a caller ID. You will be the only one who will see it anyway…” you said before quickly adding under your breath, “hopefully…”

Sylus looked at you curiously as you started to walk by him. He grabbed your arm. “Hold it,” he said, “What is with that expression?”

You looked up, feigning ignorance. “What expression?”

“That look,” he said, his eyes darting all over your face. He loosened his hold on your arm, and said with a frown, “You look guilty. What are you hiding?”

“Nothing!”

Sylus gave you a disbelieving look. He held out his hand and you looked at it in confusion before he spoke up sternly, “Your phone. Hand it over.”

You shook your head, glaring at him again. “No! Why should I?”

“I want to see what you saved me as in your phone.”

“Sylus. I saved you as Sylus.”

“Oh, really?” He smiled, causing you to feel a sense of unease.

“Really,” you stated firmly, trying to maintain as even of a voice and expression as you could.

“Then…” he strode toward you slowly, making you back away from him with each step he took. For every step you took back, it seemed like Sylus’ long legs quickly covered the distance, surpassing it even. It didn’t take long before you found yourself cursing under your breath when your back hit the wall, and Sylus leaned over to trap you against it. You protested when his hand slipped behind you, pulling your phone out of your back pocket. He smirked. “Oh, good, it’s still unlocked.”

“Sylus, hand it back!” You tried to reach for your phone, but Sylus easily held it out of your reach with his imposing height.

“I will, sweetie, don’t you worry,” he said, opening the contacts app in the phone. “Since you said I am saved as just ‘Sylus,’ there’s no reason I can’t take a peek now, can I?”

“Uh…”

Your face paled as he scrolled through your contacts list, watching as his confident smile slowly disappeared, being replaced with an annoyed frown.

“I don’t see ‘Sylus’ in here…” He looked at you accusingly, “You’ve never saved me as a contact?”

“N-no!” you quickly yelled out, then adding weakly, embarrassed, “You’re in there…”

Sylus looked at you in disbelief, but he resumed scrolling through the contacts list one more time. On the second search, he realized you had saved everyone by their respective name, but there was one contact who stood out from the rest:

“Big…Ca-Cawk?” Sylus clicked on the contact and he recognized his phone number attached to the ID. “Big Ca-Cawk.”

You looked away ashamed.

“What does that even mean?”

“I have to go,” you said hurriedly as you swiped back your phone amid his confusion. You immediately raced out of the room, passing Luke and Kieran with a quick goodbye, before darting out the door to your waiting motorcycle. You quickly sped off and headed toward Linkon City.

Meanwhile, Sylus remained in his office, confused, as he crossed his arms over his chest, pondering the odd name you had given him. As he remained baffled, both Luke and Kieran strode in, both also confused, but for a different reason.

“Miss Hunter sure was in a hurry just now,” Kieran said.

“Yeah,” Luke agreed, “She only said goodbye to us and then bolted out the door like a bat out of hell.”

“Did she?” Sylus questioned with a deeper frown as he leaned back against the wall. “You two. Does ‘Big Ca-Cawk’ mean anything to you?”

“‘Big Ca-Cawk’?” Kieran repeated, confused.

“Big Cock.”

Both Kieran and Sylus immediately looked at Luke, who shifted nervously under their surprised gazes, “Is that not it?”

“Big…Cock,” Sylus repeated hesitantly.

The three men stood in the room staring at one another as an awkward silence took over. About a minute passed before Sylus cleared his throat, “If you two will excuse me, I have a call to make to a certain naughty kitten.”

Luke and Kieran watched confused as Sylus left the room with a pleased smirk plastered on his face.

[denkisauce]

my growing collection from redacted dot com 🥲

[seance]

Human connections were never easy when I was alive. And now that I'm dead, they seem to bring somehow even more baggage. There are these feelings that I'm not used to. I thought those feelings were never to be spoken of. But once you have them… it's hard to hold them back. And that terrifies me.

[lunarriviera]

BONUS:

[terriblegam2r]

Can we bring up the fact that Laszlo, up until this point, has never been interested in Guillermo (that wasn't out of boredom, necessity or putting him down - I'm talking genuine interest (and dare I say slight concern?) in him), or literally anything he had to say or what he did throughout the day. Not even once. But here Laszlo is, constantly bringing up the topic of Guillermo's seemingly odd behavior to the other vampires - also showcasing that he's paid enough attention to him to where he can recognize that Guillermo's not acting like his usual~ self. I also noticed that Laszlo praised Guillermo's familiar duties (has he ever complimented him before? Idts) and proclaimed to Nandor on his own that he agreed with Guillermo that Nandor was using hypnosis too much. He even said "Ah! There he is." to himself when Guillermo showed up after he and Nandor met up with Nadja after they got out of jail, meaning that he was still thinking of Guillermo even when he was hanging out with Sean and Nandor and after all the crazy excitement that happened that night. And in the end it turned out that he kind of was concerned about Guillermo because he told him he pretty much thought he had a bad stomach ache and wanted to tell him to be careful about what he eats. Aww.

I think Laszlo co-parenting with Guillermo towards baby Colin Robinson last season sparked an interest (and respect) in Guillermo, and I love finally seeing their relationship develop, and I look forward to seeing them bond more this season (even if it is baby steps lol But in a way it's the total opposite because Laszlo has never talked about/to Guillermo this much in one season before, much less the series as a whole, and I am loving every second of it).

[jiiyawns]

yeah im normal. im very normal. so normal. shadow prime amirite guys

i like this one the most so close up (ironically, this is the color palette i was the most scared to deal with bc i don't usually use greens)

[uncanny-tranny]

Good news! You aren't required to make your hobbies and passions "marketable." In fact, your crafts, hobbies, and passions don't even need to be public if you so choose. You don't have to spend all of your energy becoming perfect if you aren't enjoying the process. You are not a product, you are a person, a creative, and your work also does not need to be a product.

[natalievoncatte]

Kara knew something was wrong from Lena’s heartbeat. That alone, the barely detectable change in rhythm and tempo, was enough, but her breathing was erratic and as Kara drew nearer, drifting through the afternoon air, she could hear the soft sobs.

A bad feeling had come over Kara. Things had been quiet between the two of them ever since the wedding; there had been a strange tension between them on that happy day and Kara couldn’t say why

(she knew what she wanted it to be but didn’t dare hope)

and with Alex and Kelly away on their honeymoon, Kara had mostly been on her own. Nia was spending most of her free time with Brainy and Kara sensed a proposal coming, and she was busy preparing for her public interview with Cat Grant. She was going to rip the bandages off and reveal her identity. There was a great deal of work involved, and Kara had spent a lot of time fretting over the details, and in the back of her head she was worried about the ramifications of years spent reporting on Supergirl and using “her” as a source. It was a massive ethical dilemma, and thought it always made sense at the time…

Right now all that mattered was the heartbeat. Kara had been giving Lena the space she sensed she needed, but Jess had called Kara from the Foundation and told her that Lena hadn’t come to work in three days, and no one had heard from her. It was uncharacteristic of someone who ran her life with almost military precision. Kara had even asked Alex to text Lena, but they’d gotten the same single word replies.

Kara pulled in a big breath, feeling her stomach churn as she lighted on the balcony and slid open the door, knowing it would be unlocked. She wished Lena would stop doing that, but also felt a little tilt in her chest from knowing Lena hadn’t locked her out.

She was on the sofa, curled up on her side and asleep. She’d probably had the same pajamas on for two days and there were empty bottles of wine in a neat row on the table in front of her. Her eyes were puffy from crying and her cheeks a little raw. Kara felt an instant pang and reached for her, before stopping to deactivate her suit.

Kneeling next to the sofa, Kara touched her fingers to Lena’s shoulders. Lena woke instantly with a start, head jolting up as she sucked in a reedy breath and her heart raced explosively, sending a shock of terror up Kara’s spine.

“Oh fuck,” Lena blurted, kicking out her legs as she bolted upright. “Oh God, Kara what…”

“Hey,” Kara said softly. “I was… I’m sorry. Are you okay? I came in through the balcony. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Lena’s chest heaved as she gasped for breath, staring at Kara with watery eyes. “Are you real?”

“What? Yes, of course I’m real.”

“I must have been dreaming. It was a dream. Just a dream. I was dreaming,” Lena muttered.

Kara rose from her knees and sat down on the couch.

“Come here.”

Lena almost crashed into her, wrapping her arms tightly around Kara and squeezing hard. She smoothed her fingers over the soft dark waves of Lena’s hair and pulled her in as she began to sob into Kara’s shoulder.

“I dreamed he killed you,” Lena choked out. “He came back again and he killed you and I couldn’t stop it. It felt so real.”

“I’m fine. I’m right here.”

Lena continued to sob, her entire body shaking with the force of it. Kara wrapped her in a fierce hug, trembling as she did.

“Every time I close my eyes he’s there, and when I’m awake all I can think about is that I killed my brother.”

“That didn’t happen in this timeline.”

Lena choked out an angry, frustrated sob. “It happened for me. I aimed a gun at my own brother’s chest and I pulled the trigger. And he came back! He came back and he almost killed you two or three fucking times, I can’t count.”

“He’s gone. He’s not coming back.”

“You can’t just say that!” Lena screamed into Kara’s throat.

Stunned, Kara softened her grip on Lena, only for Lena to pull her in harder, like she was trying to climb inside her.

“Why can’t I stop mourning him? He ruined my life. He was the person I trusted most and he turned out to be a monster. He used me my whole life and my emotions were just a game to him. He tried to to kill the woman I… tortured you, took you away for months and I thought I’d never see you again. I just wanted to tell you how sorry I was and how much…”

Lena cut herself off with a sob.

“I know it’s not the same,” Kara murmured, “but when I was a little girl I worshipped my father. I wanted to grow up like him and do what he did. I was going to be a scientist too.”

“You’d have been a good one.”

Kara shook her head. “My father was responsible for the Medusa virus. A bioweapon designed to eradicate non-Kryptonian life. A weapon of genocide.”

Lena shuddered.

Kara swallowed, hard.

“My world wasn’t a paradise. It felt that way because it was simple for me. There wasn’t all the pain of learning alien ways and an alien language and controlling superpowers and everything else. My father taught and protected me and my mom maintained order. But it was wasn’t a paradise. My people were… Krypton was… I think in a lot of worlds out there, we were the bad guys. Okay, the Daxamites were slavers, but on Krypton people were born into the labor guild and did menial jobs their whole lives, while people like me were born into privilege. Is that much better?”

“I don’t understand.”

“I don’t judge you for mourning Lex, Lena. He was your protector and your friend, and it was real to you. If there’s anything I hate him for, it’s hurting you.” Kara swallowed. “The one thing I can’t abide is anyone hurting you. I’ll break all my rules to keep you safe.”

Lena’s breathing eased and Kara could feel her relax.

“I’ve been avoiding you.”

“I figured you needed space. I wasn’t sure why but I trusted you to tell me if you need to.”

There was a long, heavy pause, and then Lena said.

“Kara, I can’t do this. I can’t share you.”

“Share me?”

“When you reveal your identity,” Lena pulled back, “you’re going to be the most famous person in the word. Everyone is going to be all over you. The press, politicians, everybody, and everyone who has a grudge against you or your cousin is going to know exactly where to find you, all the time.”

“I’ll keep you safe, no one will…”

“I didn’t say anything about me. You, Kara. What about you?”

“I’m Supergirl. I’ll be fine.”

“And what about me?” said Lena.

“I told you…”

“No. What about me when I have to watch you getting beaten to a pulp by another alien? What about me when you’re in a coma on the sun bed? What about me when I see on the news that a bomb went off in your apartment and I have to wonder if it was laced with Kryptonite shrapnel? I’m not worried about people coming after me. I’m a billionaire with magic powers. I could put on a goofy costume and join the club if I wanted. I’ve already lost you so many times and I can’t do it again.”

Stunned, Kara sat with her eyes wide, not sure when exactly she’d lifted Lena into her lap.

“It’s so selfish of me,” Lena went on. “You don’t belong to me. I don’t get to make demands of you. But don’t want you to out yourself. I don’t want to lose you again. As soon as you do this you’re going to be hounded by the whole world and they’ll claw you away from me again.”

Kara’s own heart raced now, hammering in her chest. Lena sounded so desperate and so sure, clinging to a Kara like she might disappear.

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’s your choice and I have to respect it. It’s okay,” she was clearly telling herself.

“No,” Kara choked out, “no it’s not. I can’t believe how stupid I’ve been.”

“Kara,” said Lena.

“No. I have been. I can’t believe I said what I said to you at the wedding, about not being my authentic self. To you, of all people.”

Lena swallowed hard. Kara drew back and looked at her, really looked at her, drinking in the soft beauty of her eyes as she swept back a tear with a brush of her thumb. Lena’s eyes were huge, her lips trembling, and Kara felt an almost painful pang of sorrow and regret and a powerful stirring, long thrust down and buried and now clawing its way forth as Lena stared back, the deep sadness and loss in her own eyes tinged by a hint of forlorn hope.

“I can’t believe that I can see through walls and I’m so blind.”

“Kara?” Lena whispered.

“I’m calling it off. I’ll keep my secret.”

“You don’t have to do that just to please me.”

“I don’t need them. I need you. I’m yours, if you’ll have me.”

Lena’s heart raced so fast that Kara briefly thought she might have to fly her to the hospital. Instinctively, she slipped one arm under her knees and the other around her shoulders and stood, lifting Lena as if she weighed nothing.

Eyes wide, Lena bit her lip.

“What do you mean?”

“What do you mean when you say you’re mine? I need you to say it, Kara. I was too scared at the wedding. I can’t do this. I need you to.”

Oh.

Kara shifted her Lena’s weight in her arms, bring them closer together. She’d danced this dance before; she thought of the day she came back from the Phantom Zone, when she held Lena in her arms and felt the sun again and she almost did it, she almost just fucking did it…

And she did it.

She kissed Lena, already ready to sputter an apology and find a way out of this, but her words were lost when Lena’s soft lips met hers and Lena was ready to devour her, happily rocketing past chaste first kiss as she grabbed Kara with both hands and pulled her in.

Kara’s stomach flipped. She didn’t know what to do. She’d been kissed, she thought she’d been intimate, but she could see now that those things had been mere stimulation and nothing more. Something soared inside her as she had soared in the sky the very first time she flew. Joy unbridled swelled in her chest and she could feel Lena laughing exultantly into her mouth and even as tears mingled on her cheeks.

She wanted this. She wanted this. It was right here all along.

“Kara,” Lena whispered. “I…”

“Should I put you down?”

“On the bed.”

[bloodypeachblog]

WHY THE FUCK DID NO ONE TELL ME ABOUT GOTH PETER?!

GUYS.

[suzukiblu]

Please, cuddling, and TimKon?

. . . I am sorry but also I am NOT sorry for what I have done with this reply, but hey, why don't we all enjoy this one being the only prompt fill from this meme that got a read-more cut??

“Please,” Kon tries, trying not to look–he doesn’t know, weird and needy and like an embarrassment, or whatever. It feels like such a stupid thing to ask for. He knows Tim’s not really a hugger or a touchy-feely guy or whatever and that he likes having his own space and basically always hops out of bed right after sex to go write down all the shit his post-nut clarity made him think of, and the idea of, like, just staying still and actually cuddling or whatever is probably basically literal torture to him, assuming it’s ever even occurred to him at all, just . . . 

Just he’d kind of like to sometimes, maybe? Like–not regularly or whatever, he’s not trying to drive Tim nuts or cut into either his worktime or downtime here, just . . .

Just he’d like to do it sometimes, that’s all. 

Tim’s not the tactile type. Tim isn’t even the eye contact type, unless he’s lying to somebody or at work or just faking it for Robin-mode or whatever. Kon gets that. He’s been, like–careful about that. Not trying to take up too much space or ask for too much attention or mind when Tim doesn’t even look up at him when he– 

He’s been careful about it. 

But he is . . . well. The tactile type. Like . . . kind of, anyway. 

Like–it’s kinda unavoidable, honestly. 

“Oh,” Tim says, blinking at him in just enough bemusement to make him feel even more self-conscious about bringing this shit up to begin with, and Kon tries to keep his expression casual and noncommittal and–and just normal about this. Because he is totally normal about this. He is so normal about this. He is.

He’s also normal about the fact that when he asked Tim if he could talk to him about something, Tim didn’t even put down his tablet. Didn’t even put it to sleep, or actually even look up from it until . . . 

Kon’s normal about that. About all of this. 

(and he definitely never feels kind of weird or a little bit abandoned because Tim can’t EVER just bring his stupid laptop back to bed or at least work on whatever he’s thinking about IN the bedroom at the untouched desk he's got set up in there or even just, like . . . stick around and hang out on the couch with him, or anything like that. he definitely totally ENTIRELY doesn’t ever just feel like a casual fuckbuddy or an easy hookup or a gala-night accessory or just the most immediately convenient option and not actually–not actually any kind of a–not actually something that– 

he doesn’t. 

definitely.)

“Uh,” Kon says, and backpedals awkwardly, because clearly this conversation is not going the way he’d wanted it to and Tim just looks so surprised by it all, like–like it never even occurred to him or something, that maybe . . . that maybe Kon would want anything like that, or like he literally just hasn’t noticed how hard Kon’s been trying to be normal about it, or . . . 

It doesn’t feel very good, the idea he’s been trying so hard to respect Tim’s space and preferences and comfort levels and Tim hasn’t even noticed that he was doing anything at all. 

Especially because Tim usually notices just about everything. 

Maybe Tim’s just never thinking about it. Maybe he gets out of bed so quick because he’s spent the whole time in it thinking about other shit and just putting up with–just– 

“Kon,” Tim says, his voice going a little tight, and Kon just tries not to wince. He didn’t mention any of the complicated stuff he’s been trying not to feel, he just asked if Tim could–if Tim would– 

He didn’t even mention any of the complicated stuff, so it’s, like–not a great sign that Tim’s looking at him like that right now, like he’s said something really serious or upsetting or . . . 

He really shouldn’t have said anything, yeah. 

“Sorry,” he tries stiffly, glancing away and wrapping his hand around his own wrist and digging his fingers into the inside of it. It’s–tactile. Just . . . something tactile. “I know you don’t–sorry. Uh. Just forget it.” 

“Fuck,” Tim mutters for some reason, and Kon feels like such an idiot for saying anything at all, and a worse one for apparently doing it in a way that’s got Tim making that face at him. That face is Robin’s “my utility belt is empty, comms are fried, and the mission just went to shit” face. 

He really fucked this up. It was fine. Everything was fine, and now he’s wrecked it and Tim’s about to say it’s not even that serious, it’s not like it’s even–not like they’re even–and that Kon’s clearly gotten the wrong idea and they should just–just– 

“How long have you felt this way?” Tim asks very, very carefully, like the question’s something fragile, and Kon thinks from literally the first fucking time you left me alone in bed all night so you could go recalibrate some stupid useless specialty sensor that wasn’t even part of your primary gear, like, a WEEK into us sleeping together and says, “I dunno. It’s not–I told you. Forget it. It’s not a big deal.” 

He’s being weird about this. He’s being an asshole about this, actually, because being prepared for literally every single possible contingency ever is the Bats’ whole thing and he got into this knowing Tim wasn’t the touchy-feely type or all that expressive and emotive about–about his feelings, or whatever, and–and it’s not like he even–not like he– 

(he just wants a fucking HUG he didn't have to FUCK him for every now and then, or for Tim to at least exist in the same space as him for longer than the time it takes for the next email from Oracle to come in or next alert from Batman to go off or next self-assigned project to finish processing or–

but that’s not something Tim does, and Kon knew that going in, so–so it’s his own stupid fault if he feels SMALL sometimes, when . . . when there’s always something else, always another problem to solve or place to be or thing to think about, always . . . always something more important than just . . . staying, just for a little bit, and just BEING with–with him. just him. not the team, or either of their families, or . . .)

He knew all this going in, Kon reminds himself. He knew it. If he were this bad at being with literally anyone else, he’d just–he’d just– 

But something about it being Tim means he just . . . can’t. 

Tim’s jaw tightens, and he finally sets down his stupid tablet. 

Only now, though, Kon thinks bitterly, and digs his fingers a little deeper into the inside of his wrist. 

“Kon,” Tim says again, says too carefully again. Like something’s fragile, again. “I–” 

“I said forget it, for fuck’s sake!” Kon snaps too hotly, and maybe hates himself for both doing it and for the stricken look that doing it puts on Tim’s face, and also maybe cheats a bit by super-speeding straight out the balcony door into the night air and not taking his cell or his communicator with him. Or–definitely does, in fact. Definitely that’s cheating. He knows it is. 

He just really can’t stand to hear Tim tell him how he’s fucked up this time right now, though. He just–he tried so fucking hard not to fuck up this time. 

He really, really tried. 

He should’ve known it wouldn’t work, but . . . but he really did try.

[v0idwraith]

i am actually hyperventilating right now help

[skyburger]

watching hlvrai initally and not knowing anything about any of rtvs and then going back to watch it again after youve been watching their shit for a few years is so funny because like wayne was not fucking kidding when he said his interpretation of gordon was just how he would act in that situation. i 100% believe that. but my favorite thing to think about is about like. how much fucking funnier benrey gets when you know more about scorpy. benrey feels like evil scorpy from the shadow realm. scorpys evil twin from the bad timeline. i dont know how to put this into words