#he sucks so bad but he is also such a fucking clown

[jestroer]

Dream is a total wanker, and I don't even want to mention him on my blog really, but I honestly could never fucking forget the "WHY has GRIAN, who in my opinion is not great at PvP, killed me at least 8 times in PVP games, yet I have NEVER finished ahead of him in buildmart". Still the funniest fucking shit ever

[the-acid-pear]

i wonder if the deltarune secret bosses will ever be as hard as Jevil again. Bc like, Jevil was hard, he was sooo fucking hard, he made my eye bleed more than once, only one who also managed that was spamton NEO solo, but that wasn't a secret boss it was the final, so Jevil remains to be the hardest secret boss for now.

On top of that, Jevil has the particularity of being a boss you can easily go back to, which is fair! Imagine if, like Spamton, you were locked from the main story after you open up his gay little cell. People have taken MONTHS to beat this goofy motherfucker, now imagine if you got locked forced to do that.

So there really are two possibilities: either future secret bosses aren't as tough as Jevil OR maybe they work just like him, allowing you to fight them whenever you want and later go back to the future. And I really doubt the later because, like, with Jevil that worked bc there was little to no interaction.

Third secret option is Toby decided to be mean and force you to pay for your actions but I think I'd be allowed to cancel him on Twitter if he did that for making my eyeball straight up blow up.

[aayakashii]

No idea why I suddenly thought of this. Literally the most random dumb thought ever but okay

You tell them a knock knock joke:

Jin:

Shuts you up immediately. Doesn't entertain it. Says something like "why the fuck are you wasting my time, servant" but then you whine a little, so he rolls his eyes and just accepts defeat. He will say your joke sucks though. You will only tell jokes to him when you want to annoy him from then on.

Tohma

Entertains it. Doesn't mean he will find it funny but the thought of embarrassing you by staring at you, deadpan, for way too long after you tell the joke kinda tickles his brain in the right spot. He might chuckle a little just to break the awkward atmosphere. You never try to tell him jokes after that.

Kaito

Will laugh so exaggeratedly just to appease you, but it will have the opposite effect. You will be kinda put off by his fake reaction, and he'll get desperate and ask for a do-over. You try again because he gets way too sad over that, but it doesn't work anyway.

Lucas

Entertains your antics but doesn't find the joke funny at all. He'll be like "I don't understand, what's the point of this question?". Why do you even try to tell him a joke come on that's on you

Alan

Entertains it. Doesn't really understand the joke, but will give the tiniest smile since you seem happy that he answered you. Big of heart, dumb of ass. Great choice for telling silly jokes.

Leo

You don't tell him any jokes. Please let's have a little self-respect now.

Sho

Entertains it. Will find it extremely unfunny but will be nice with it. He just rolls his eyes and says something like "wow sempai you're not funny at all lol" but it doesn't sting. You might tell him some jokes from time to time just to break the ice when you need it.

Haru

He will be the one telling you the joke actually. If you tell him one he doesn't know, he will find it genuinely so funny that you'll have to hold Peekaboo for a moment while he folds in laughter. Probably the best person you could ever choose to tell jokes to.

Towa

Giggles but like. In a condescending way. Like when we see a puppy doing something cute. He'll be like "haha you're so silly, Dandelion" while tucking your hair behind your ear. You can keep telling him jokes if you want I guess, he won't complain as long as you pay attention to him tbh.

Ren

Never entertains it but you tell them anyway to annoy him. Absolutely despises the amount of knock knock jokes you know, but kinda feels a bit flattered when you say you spend time online just to find silly things to tell him. He's living rent free on your mind, huh?

Taiga

Entertains it and actually laughs like HA HA HA HA HA super loud while saying you're actually kinda funny. He's still very intimidating when he asks you to tell another. Good thing: you only need to memorize three or four jokes. He'll forget them anyway.

Romeo

Why would you even try? He doesn't entertain it. If you keep pushing, however, he'll suddenly yell WHO'S THERE out of nowhere just to shut you up. Will kick you out of his room if you pull out another joke from your little clown hat. Not a very good choice if you wanna be funny.

Ritsu

Will ask if you have a warrant that allows you entry in his property in order to knock on his door. Absolutely ruins the fun with more law jargon. Awful choice but you kinda knew that already.

Subaru

Entertains it out of politeness. Also laughs out of politeness. He doesn't really find it THAT funny, but will chuckle so you don't feel bad. He doesn't mind it either, so you can keep telling him jokes, but the reaction is kinda underwhelming.

Haku

Chuckles after you tell him a joke then hits you with:

"Haku: knock knock

You: who's there?

Haku: Ben

You: Ben who?

Haku: Ben thinking about you all day."

If you can handle this type of comeback, then feel free to keep telling him your silly jokes.

Zenji

Absolutely ROARS with laughter and will deplete you of all your jokes. And will laugh at all of them like you just said the funniest thing ever. Alongside Haru, he's the best person to choose when you're in a silly goofy mood.

Ed

Entertains it. Will make it creepy somehow and will tell you some other jokes, but they will be so uncomfortable that you'll wish you never even thought about interacting with him. You can keep telling him jokes if you're a masochist though.

Rui

Entertains it. He will giggle and say you're a silly cutie but you don't know if he genuinely thinks you're funny or if he's just trying to flirt with you. You can keep on telling him jokes as long as you're okay with him calling you every petname in the book in exchange.

Lyca

Entertains it but doesn't understand. Why are you pretending to knock on a door, and why would you even think that's funny? He'll ask you to keep on telling him jokes so he can get used with this weird new human habit he gotta learn.

Yuri

Doesn't entertain it and hates it because he can never guess what's the punchline for your jokes. Will go on a rant about how he has no time to deal with your insanity but he's just upset he can't be as funny as you. Keep telling him jokes if you wanna torture him a bit.

Jiro

Entertains it but doesn't find it funny at all. You're not yelling nor skittish, so where's the fun. Will ask something like "can I go back to work or do you need to get more jokes out of your system?" so he's not really the best choice for telling jokes. But it's on you.

[leclucklerc]

Something Immortal CL16 - 02. Bad Idea

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Wayne!reader

Summary: Y/n Wayne knows that this is a bad idea. But well, going against the law is something that runs in the Wayne Family.

Word Count: 4.4K

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“Is B really going to buy an F1 team?”

Y/n looked up from the plate of dessert in front of her towards where Jason was sitting. The both of them are in the VIP lounge of the Monaco GP, waiting for the race to start before being ushered towards the Ferrari garage.

“What makes you say that?”

Jason gave her a pointed look. “I’m not dumb,” he said. “I can see a business talk even if it’s miles away.” At this, he pointed towards the paddock that could be seen from the windows in front of them.

They could see a glimpse of Bruce, laughing and talking with people with different team kits. Y/n recognized most of them as the team principals or even the management team from different F1 teams.

“Y/n, seriously, I don’t have time to become a driver,” said Jason. “And I’ll probably suck at it, most of these guys had been racing since they were in diapers.”

“Still,” defended the woman, fully aware that Jason’s argument was fairly logical. “You don’t have to be a driver, but I think being around Formula One, something that you’re passionate about, can help you, Jason.”

He doesn’t have to be a driver if he doesn’t want to. Hell, truthfully, if Jason really puts his foot down and strictly declares that no, buying a whole Formula One team is not going to help him, then y/n and Bruce will stop. The both of them will leave this silly idea behind and never look back once more.

But she had seen him. How his eyes followed every garage that they passed in rapid attention. How he attentively listened to what John had said about Ferrari’s Formula One team, how he had watched the free practice and qualifying alone the days before.

It’s been a while. Maybe the last time she saw him being this passionate about something was before his death. To see Jason looking forward to something, to see his brother actually enjoy doing something outside of his crime-fighting activities.

“I-“

“Jay,” she said again, reaching out to hold the older man’s hand. “I- I know we’re not the best family. B is not the best father and the rest of us have not been the best siblings but still I-“ she stopped at that, eyes searching for Jason’s own. 

Years of guilt appeared inside of her. Years of missing memories between the two of them. Years full of regret and anger that had soured their relationship beyond words. 

Y/n, only wants what is best for her brother. “I still want you to be happy,” she said, blue eyes with a hint of green meeting hers. “I want to see you laughing again, be integrated into society, and live your dream-!”

Jason looks lost and y/n is really glad that this section of the VIP lounge was reserved for them.

Because the man in front of her looks so fucking vulnerable. 

She still remembers that time when Jason just returned to Gotham. All Lazarus green eyes and rage oozing out of his form. How he had practically attacked Tim, taunting the rest of them, and begged their father to choose him over that clown.

Y/n also remembers the emptiness that appeared in his eyes when they informed him that the Joker was dead.

It was one of the most terrifying moments of her life. Because Jason had it made his mission to kill that clown. To avenge the fallen Robin that had remained unavenged. To finally end the reign of terror that the prince of clowns had put upon Gotham City.

To know that he’s dead?

Well.

There are just so so many things left unsaid between the two of them. Too much pain and history that had happened between the two of them. To see, Jason who had always raged and raged looking this lost is-

“I’ve been wondering-“ said Jason, leaning forward. “Ever since that clown died, I’ve been wondering what the fuck I should do with my life-“

It’s a familiar conversation. Something that Jason had told her months ago under the darkness of the night. When there are only the two of them on top of his safehouse rooftop, sharing a stick of cigarettes to fight off the cold.

Y/n leaned forward, touching their shoulder together. It’s something that they often did before Ethiopia all those years ago. When Jason was nothing but a short and skinny kid that’s not too far off y/n own size. 

It’s been years since Ethiopia and a lot of things have changed.

“Have you decided, Jay?” she asked, eyes closing and head leaning towards his shoulder. “Whatever you want, you know that we will support you.”

Jason was silent for a bit.

The female too, sat there in silence, giving the older male a chance to think it through.

“I still want to be Red Hood,” he whispered, far too low for anyone to hear except y/n. “I still want to make Crime Alley a better place for people to live in.”

Y/n has to fight off a smile at that. Such a typical answer for a bat. Such a typical answer for the son of Bruce Wayne.

“Yeah?” she said. 

Jason hummed. “But I also want to live my life.”

A smile appeared on y/n face. She can feel the excited thrumming of her heart as she continues to listen.

“Oh?” she asked. “And that is?”

“Going to university, getting an English degree,” at this, he stopped. “And living the dream F1 fan life ‘cause my family owned a fucking team here.”

Y/n laughed at that; happiness clear on her face.

Bruce got the honor to wave the checkered flag that marks the end of the Monaco GP.

Her dad looks pleased, but she also knows that inside of that large smile and laugh, her dad simply doesn’t care. This business trip to Monaco had been a risky move after all, if it’s not for Jason’s happiness, y/n doesn’t think her dad would even consider going on this business trip.

In the end, when her dad was handed the checkered flag, the man put the flag into Jason’s hand.

“Do you want to do it, Jay?”

Jason blinked. “Huh?”

“Waving the flag,” answered her dad, letting out a smile. “Instead of me, my son can do it, right?” asked Bruce, turning his head towards where the president of FIA and the chairman of Ferrari stood.

“Of course, of course!” Said Ben, the president of FIA. “It would be an honor for us!”

“But they literally asked for you” answered Jason.

Her dad merely laughed at that. “They said you can do it, son.”

Jason may look like as if he wants to protest, but y/n knows that the man is far too excited at the prospect of waving the checkered flag at the Monaco GP. He may grumble and curse her dad a few times, but he really can’t hide the happiness that’s shining through his eyes at the mere thought of it.

The older man too, seemed to notice his son’s excitement as he let out an indulgent smile as he watched her brother being escorted to his position.

“Jason looks happy,” she said. “It’s been a while since I saw him like that.”

“I know,” murmured her dad. There was silence between the two of them before her dad leaned forward towards her a bit. “I saw you earlier.”

Y/n raised her eyebrow. “What?”

“I saw you flirting with one of the drivers,” replied her dad. “The Ferrari one.”

Ah, she thought. He was referring to Charles. “It was an act, Dad,” she simply said. “You know, like your Brucie Wayne persona? I just think that it will do us some good if we’re on a friendly term with the paddock.”

Her dad stared at her. “There are better ways to do that, like chatting with the FIA president, for instance,” replied the man as he turned his gaze toward where Ben and John were talking with Jason near the track. “I don’t think flirting with a driver will really help our cause.”

Y/n shrugged, “He’s cute, what can I say?”

“Y/n.”

“What?” she hissed out. “I have to watch you flirt with Selina the entirety of my life, let me flirt with cute boys for a change!”

“You know it’s different,” pointed out her dad, leaning closer towards her. “Don’t associate with anyone outside of the masked community.”

The woman rolled her eyes at that.

She knows that the older man has a point. She knows that he’s doing this in order to protect all of them. Not only his hidden identity, but the rest of the family and possibly the rest of the Justice League. Bruce has always put a tight leash on all of his children regarding the interaction and the social circle that they all kept. Most of the time, the man didn’t have to worry considering most of his children worked inside the masked community, resulting in most of their friends being another superhero.

But y/n?

Despite her close association and frequent presence in their nightly activity, she sometimes thinks that her dad forgets that she’s not a vigilante or a hero. Yes, she knows all of their secret identity, yes, she often assisted her brothers on their not-so-legal work.

Outside of all of that, y/n is a civilian. She’s just a normal doctor who’s not saving the world during her past time. She’s a normal woman that’s working in a perfectly legal job.

Friends are hard to come by when you’re the daughter of the richest man in the world. Friends are harder to come by when you’re the daughter of the richest man in the world who is also hiding the fact that he’s the dark knight himself.

“I know,” she hissed out. “It’s a persona dad, I doubt we’ll talk again.”

Her dad gave her a look as if he didn’t believe in that.

And well.

Um.

Charles won the Monaco GP. The first Monegasque driver to do so in the last 93 years. Jason had failed to hide his excitement as he waved the checkered flag.

Her family was there, right in front of the podium as they watched the Ferrari drivers and the McLaren driver celebrating the win that they acquired. Y/n was standing there, smiling politely as she watched the champagne shower that was happening in front of them.

It was also then, that their eyes met.

She was not sure if Charles was looking at her or at someone near her, but the man’s already wide smile had gotten wider as he locked his eyes with her. And it was also then, that Charles sent her a wink.

Huh.

Okay.

Oookay.

I’ll meet you later, he seems to mouth off, a bit quickly, before he continues the champagne shower with the rest of the drivers.

So much for not talking with him anymore.

“Hi, stranger.”

Y/n can’t help the quirk of her mouth at that greeting.

The woman turned her gaze towards the source of the voice, eyes immediately falling towards where Charles Leclerc stood next to her. There’s a smile on his lips, hair tousled and green eyes twinkling.

“Hello,” she greeted back, raising her glass of champagne. “Drink?”

Charles chuckled. “I had enough champagne for the day,” replied the male as he took a seat next to her.

She can’t help but laugh at that. “I mean, you won today,” answered the female, putting down the glass of champagne on top of the table in front of them. “How does it feel to be a Monaco GP race winner? And did you actually drink the champagne that’s being sprayed earlier?” Being sprayed with a bottle of champagne sure is an experience, it seems. 

“Amazing,” he breathed out, inching closer to her. “I guess a change of mindset is the only thing needed to break the curse.”

“I told you,” said the female, amusement dripping on her tone. “Guess I did become a really lucky girl today.”

“I hope so,” answered Charles. “I did remember your words throughout the race.”

“Oh? You did?” teased y/n. “Seeing Charles Leclerc win the Monaco GP live and being constantly on his mind? What a lucky girl I am.”

Charles let out a laugh at that.

The dinner party around them is buzzing with blaring music and drunken chatter. The event itself was hosted by WE and the FIA. A collaboration work between the two entity that marks the beginning of WE’s involvement in the motorsport industry. It was the reason why her dad – a reclusive who hardly leaves Gotham if he can help it – needed to do a business trip in Monaco.

And of course, for the simple reason of buying Jason an F1 team. 

Not that y/n is complaining. She had wanted to visit Monaco forever and this was the perfect opportunity to do it. Watching a Formula 1 race live is a bonus that she will never miss out on.

The dinner party that they hosted was the formal event that they made for the winners of the race. Though, it seems most of the drivers are in attendance. No doubt advised by each of their respective team to gain the elusive Wayne sponsorship.

She knows that the news of Bruce Wayne wanting to buy an F1 team or become a major sponsor had already made its rounds. Even the bigger teams who don’t really need more money came in order to make some kind of connection with Wayne Enterprise.

Truthfully, this dinner party made her nervous a bit. After all, it’s not like she attended a party outside of Gotham.

But still, Charles’s sudden presence helped ease up her nervousness for a bit.

“Where’s your brother?” asked Charles, eyes flickering around the room.

“Ah, Jason is not feeling well,” replied the female. “He decided to stay in our hotel.” Which is a blatant lie. Y/n knows that Jason brought his Red Hood gear all the way here. He’s probably prowling the streets of Monaco, searching for that gang boss who made him join this business trip to Monaco initially.

Charles hummed at that, taking a seat next to her.

“I heard you helped orchestrate this whole dinner party,” started the man.

Y/n laughed at that. “Orchestrating is a big word, considering me and my family just throw some money at the event organizer.”

“Still, I really like the red accents, it was as if you already know that Ferrari is going to win today’s race,” said the male as he gestured towards the red flower as well as the red napkins on top of the tables.

The woman grinned cheekily at that. “Who said I don’t? Maybe I have the power to see the future?”

Charles raised his eyebrows at that, amusement clear in his eyes. “Oh?” he prompted out, leaning forward. “Can you see my future then?”

Y/n hummed, mouth closing in a wide smile as she too, leaned forward. Both of their face are really close to each other. “Hm…” she let out. “I think… You’re going to be really drunk tonight.”

He laughed at that, eyes crinkling. “It’s given,” he said, grinning.

“Really?” she said, sounding amused. “Do you want me to see further into your future?”

“You can?” asked Charles, with a tilt of his head, mouth still grinning. “What a fearsome power that you have.”

The female giggled. “I think I can see…” she whispered. “A future world champion here.”

Now, Charles is full-blown laughing, the glass of champagne that he had been holding now forgotten as he lets the amusement to envelop his very being. 

“Seriously,” he said the first part in French before he switched back to English, “You really know how to appease someone.”

“Am I?”

“Yeah,” said Charles. “You better be careful, or I’ll think that you’ve been flirting with me.”

It’s a bold thing to say, especially to Bruce Wayne’s daughter.

She knows that she’s one of the most desirable women in the marriage market, considering her looks and her family. Many people had attempted to flirt with her, to trap her with their honeyed words and kind gestures. 

But still, it’s been a while since there’s someone this bold.

“Well, I’ve been flirting with you,” replied y/n instead. “It would be embarrassing if you thought otherwise.”

Yeah, the moment she uttered those words, she knew that this was a bad choice to make.

Because at that moment, she could see the sparkle of interest in Charles’s eyes. The light that suddenly shone behind those green orbs as the man leaned forward toward her. Y/n could faintly smell the cologne that he wore, a masculine one that reminded her of her dad for a bit.

“Oh?” he said, mouth quirking up and eyes crinkling. “I’ve been flirting with you too, if you haven’t noticed.”

Okay, this isn't good. She needs to stop this before they go further and ignite her dad’s anger. 

“I see,” answered y/n with a smile. “Anyway Mr. Future World Champion, I think your team principal is looking for you-“

It was the perfect excuse because she really did have seen Fred wandering around the room in search of his driver. However, whatever she was going to say stopped immediately when a hand reached out to grab her wrist. She immediately looked down, staring at Charles’ palm.

“Hey,” said the male, grinning. “Wanna go somewhere fun?”

She should say no.

Y/n can already imagine her father’s disappointed sigh and the loud protest from her brothers. She can already see her doing the walk of shame tomorrow, with Jason silently judging her. It would be stupid of her to say yes because there are just so many consequences waiting for her if she took up that offer.

There’s literally no reason for her to say yes to someone that she barely knows.

But well-

Charles looked at her with those bright green eyes of his, the corner crinkling up from how wide his smile was. There’s something about his expression – so transparent, so genuine, something that she rarely saw in Gotham – that tickled her heart at the right place.

Maybe it’s the dimpled smile, maybe she was simply swept up by the moment.

But the next thing that she knew was-

“Yes,” she answered.

The smile that Charles let out can ignite the room.

The music is loud. Louder than what she used to.

There’s a huge misconception of her back in Gotham. Due to her father’s public persona, as well as her brother’s less-than-idle nature, the media had portrayed her as a party girl once upon a time.

But really, this is the first time for her to be in a club.

Clubs are not that common to start with in Gotham. Due to the high crime rate, and the many many dangers, clubs scarcely exist in the city. Galas though? Galas happens almost every week. Due to that, y/n only ever attended galas and galas.

So this, this is a new experience for her.

She could see the throngs of people around her, dancing and laughing, fully immersed in the music around them. There’s something about the air that just made everyone highly excited as if there’s no tomorrow.

It didn’t take long for her to be swept up by the atmosphere too.

 “So, how are you enjoying the night?” Yelled Charles as the two of them laughed and danced in the middle of the dance club. Y/n was glad that she had opted for a short dress because really, the ball gowns that she used to wear for galas will be sticking out like a sore thumb in this kind of scene.

 “It’s been fantastic!” answered the woman, amidst the loud music. Her mouth is a bit aching from how wide she’s been grinning but that really can’t dampen her mood. “It’s not my usual scene, but I guess a change of environment is not that bad.”

“Oh? Gotham doesn’t have a lot of parties?” laughed Charles, hand finding themselves around her wrist.

She stepped closer, face almost touching. “Mostly galas, or gatherings,” said y/n, letting out a shrug, before a grin overtook her face once again. “It’s not exactly safe to throw a wild party like this in a city like Gotham after all.” 

Something flickered in Charles’ eyes as he let out a hum.

“So,” started the woman, wanting to change the subject of the conversation. She leaned forward, cocking her head for a bit. “Is Monaco nightlife had always been this lively?”

“It is when it’s my party,” said the man, as they stepped out of the dance floor towards the bar.

Ordering for the both of them, Charles sidled close to her.

“You’re really trying to get drunk tonight?” teased the woman.

“Not too much,” replied the man. “I wanna remember you.”

She hummed. “Well, what’s stopping you?” she asked. “Don’t you think we should make more memories then?”

Charles turned to her, and the grip that he had around her waist tightened.

“Oh?” he said, voice lower. “Are you sure?”

The grin that she lets out must’ve been enough of confirmation because the next thing that she knew, they’re stumbling into Charles’ Ferrari, lips interlocked with each other in a desperate and sloppy make-out session.

She’s grateful that the parking space is located in a discreet place because her appearance right now is less dignified than what Bruce Wayne’s daughter should be. Though, she really can’t seem to care right now. All she knows is the taste of Charles’ lips on her and how his hand traveled all across her body, giving her a delicious tease of pleasure.

They fell into bed together.

That night had been a bit of a blur, to be honest. He remembers dancing with y/n, laughing, and touching her under the club lights. He remembers dragging her to the edge of the dance floor, head leaning forward.

“Can I?” he had muttered, head cocking sideways.

Y/n had let out a laugh at that, hands winding around his neck before she too, leaned forward.

He remembers the sweet taste of her mouth, how she had opened her mouth, letting their tongue meet in a wet mess. How his hands had wandered around, starting from her back before reaching downwards towards the edge of her short dress.

“Let’s take this somewhere,” muttered y/n back then, releasing his mouth with a string of droll still connecting them. “Somewhere more private,” the last part was whispered and he remembers the jolt of arousal that hit him at that very moment.

Charles doesn’t have a clear memory of how they managed to get into his apartment. All he remembers is how he pinned y/n by his front door, savoring her as they rutted against each other like a teenager. 

The night ended with them on his bed, rustling against each other and-

Charles cracked his eyes open, watching the sun filter into his room from the crack of his curtain.

He could feel the pounding headaches as the memories from last night rushed into him like a tsunami. Of him winning the Monaco GP, of him attending the formal dinner, of him and y/n stumbling into bed together-

His eyes widened as he immediately turned his gaze toward the other side of the bed.

Sitting there, still topless with a blanket covering her, is y/n Wayne, brow furrowed as she scrolled something on her phone. That sight immediately warmed something across his heart as he stared at the woman silently, not wanting to avert his gaze for a second.

“You’re awake?” asked y/n, turning her gaze towards him.

He let out a hum, shuffling closer towards her.

At that, y/n’s hand fell on top of his head, caressing his unruly mop of hair. It’s soothing, something that he really needs amidst the headache that’s been throbbing inside of his head. They stayed like that for a couple of moments, basking in each other presence.

The moment didn’t last long because y/n phone rang.

“Yeah?” asked the woman before she stared at him for a moment before she began talking in a language that he didn’t understand.

Charles faintly recognizes it as German. He knows a couple of words, but with the way y/n talking as if she’s a native speaker, well, it’s safe to say that he really doesn’t have a clue about what she’s talking about. The phone call didn’t last long. Only a couple of minutes at best. Though, at the end, y/n let out a sigh.

“Something wrong?” he asked, sitting up.

“Charles, listen,” stated the woman. “This is a bit awkward, but I gotta go.”

He ignores the disappointment that erupted inside his chest. The driver had been hoping that they could have breakfast together before taking a stroll around Monaco before he had to see her off.

“I really enjoyed last night but-“

Before she can even finish that sentence, Charles interrupts her again. “Can I see you again?”

Y/n blinked, staring at him. “Yes?”

“See you again,” said the driver, leaning closer. “I really enjoyed last night. More than simply enjoying it,” he continues. “I like to do it again.”

The woman is still staring at him.

“Of course, I mean not only fucking, but like, I would love to have a date with you,” he continue, tongue a bit tied at the sight of an angel in front of him. “If you give me the chance?”

Honestly, he was not expecting much. A woman like y/n must have had a lot of suitors or partners all her life. Charles will be the luckiest man on earth if y/n even gives him a chance for a single date, let alone dating her.

It was silent for a bit, as the both of them stared at each other with no words being exchanged.

The moment was broken when y/n let out a loud laugh.

It startled him a bit, Charles doesn’t really understand what’s funny about his declaration and yet, he doesn’t really mind it. After all, the sight of y/n letting out such a carefree laugh is something that he will integrate into his memory forever.

“Yeah,” said the woman, finally. “Let’s see each other again.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes,” grinned the woman. “But next time, bring me to a proper date, okay?”

Charles laughed at that, giving her a single kiss.

taglist!

@piceous21 @myloveforfandom-blog @barnestatic @ilivbullyingjeongin @fangirl-dot-com @halleest @a-beaverhausen @sagestack @redcellghost @mac-daddy-210 @kellysthilaire

[clownyclaushoe]

art the clown x reader 🔞 | i taste blood and it's turned into an obsession series

part two | bruises on both my knees for you

part one | part three | part four

reader sucks art's cock 😫 | i planned on also including reader getting railed by art, but this was getting really long so i think there'll now be a part three for that 🙈😓 chapter title is from bad guy by billie eyelash (sorry i couldn't help myself 😄 i'm a fan of miss eilish 😌) cause yet again i could only think to use the most obvious lyrics since we're dealing with a blowjob 😂😂

---

you were still dazed from the two orgasms art had given you as you stood, determined to reciprocate to the mysterious clown that turned your life upside down. you had wanted to suck his cock for way too long, the ache present in the back of your mind every moment spent with and without him. it had only worsened since you had seen naked a few weeks ago when you both returned from the day's antics. he'd immediately stripped down in order to clean his costume, revealing he was wearing nothing underneath.

art didn't feel things such as modesty - and to fair, he didn't have a reason to considering the length of his dick. the sight instantly made you wet, your pussy throbbing and clenching around nothing, wishing it was wrapped around his girth. you had to tear your gaze away, wondering how art would've reacted had he noticed your staring, though he seemed not to.

the visual aid only added to your fantasies. you'd spent countless nights at your apartment using your bullet vibrator while imagining art fucking you. there were moments while you were in the throes of pleasure, it seemed art could see you, as if powered by the supernatural forces surrounding him - a telepathic bond created between you two where art, wherever he was, whatever he was doing, could see you, could hear you calling his name; and you felt his intense leering eyes, could clearly envision the way his mouth set with a smirk as he took in the sight of you making yourself fall apart every time.

the thought of him watching you intensified each sensation, sending sparks of ecstasy throughout your body, moaning and whining for him, begging him to finally take you however he wanted, willing to give yourself to him for his (and your own) pleasure.

would he have stopped whatever nefarious actions he was in the middle of to jerk off? what little you did know about art, you knew at some time in his existence, he was a just mere man - mortal and fallible as everyone else. maybe that human yet primal part of him remained, that was interested in a good fuck, in coming so hard until his balls were emptied, drained dry of every drop of cum.

you wanted so badly for him to use your mouth and pussy as his own personal fucktoys, needy little cumdumps waiting impatiently for him to spill his hot loads of cum. and with his enthusiasm at your suggestion of returning the flavor earlier, as well as his large, hard cock bulging against his pants, it seemed he felt the same.

you walked around him, unzipping his costume and watching him tug it down, revealing again the expense of skin you dreamed of touching, basking in the sight of his large but lanky body. he kicked off his large clown shoes and tossed aside the costume. your fingers gazed over his back, his skin unusually warm, making you wonder if that was a result of being an underling for the evil that resurrected him, the man coming back as a demon heated by the very flames of hell.

you stepped to face him, touch moving along his smooth chest. you could swear you felt him shiver under your touch; you were curious how long it had been since someone had touched him like this, with gentleness, consideration, and possibly even love.

it seemed unbelievable you could get such a reaction from this beast that brought terror and fear to nearly everyone that crossed his path.

your hand trailed down to wrap tightly around his cock, stroking him, intently watching the shifts in his expression, his eyes slowly blinking closed, the twitch of his mouth, his tongue darting out to lick his lips.

"you need my mouth wrapped around your thick clown cock, hmm?" you drop to your knees, suckling at the flushed, swollen head, flickering your eyes up to watch his head fall back, mouth opening with a silent moan.

"though i like it sweet sometimes" you twist your hand over the ridge of the head, tonguing precum from the slit. "i expected you to be rougher with me, art." you sink down halfway, loving the weight of him in your mouth, heavy on your tongue. you drag your teeth over his shaft as you pull back, something you'd been careful not to do with past boyfriends and hook-ups, but you knew art would like it. and he seemed to as indicated by the dominating way he put his hands on your head, keeping you still.

you grabbed under his balls, taking his shaft all the way this time, nose pressing against his pelvis as his hold on your head tightened. his hips moved, thrusting his thick cock forward and back in your mouth. you blinked back tears, trying to relax your throat, mouth widening as you fought against your gag reflex, chorus of "guh-guh-guh" sounds filling the otherwise quiet room. you were determined to make him come harder than he ever has.

he continued like that for what felt like minutes until his grip mercilessly loosened, allowing you to pull off with a gasp to catch your breath. you palmed over the slit, stroking him quickly, motion slick from your saliva and his precum. you stared up at him, noticing his hat was lopsided on his head. you giggled to yourself, kissing the slit, and down the underside.

"fuck, your big clown cock is so hot, artie."

art chuckled silently, his body jostling, clearly smug with the effect he had on you, as if the two times he'd made you squirt weren't enough justification for him to be self-satisfied with his abilities and attributes.

you take his swollen balls into your mouth, sucking hard, continuing to stroke him fast, that slick slapping of skin-on-skin you'd always adored filling your ears. your free hand moved to his trembling belly, signaling he was close. you went back to bobbing around on his dick until he spilt in your mouth, pulsing fat hot streaks of cum down your throat, shaft jerking repeatedly as you milked it of every drop, until his dick began to soften. all the while you watched as his mouth opened into a wide teeth bearing grin, almost appearing like he was taunting you. the next time you touched yourself you knew thinking of that expression would push you over the edge.

you sighed as you pulled off, pleased with yourself, especially seeing the way his cock was already hardening again. it seemed it was going to be a long night. you stood, turning to lean on art's work bench, pushing your ass out and swaying it teasingly from side to side impatiently.

"i need your clown cock in my pussy, NOW."

---

another cliffhanger, sorry! 🙈

hope all enjoyed! 🖤❤🖤❤

[baylz]

CHAPTER ONE: sneaking out

main masterlist | now playing: See You Later, I'm Gone by Robert Lester Folsom

present time

Sneaking out through the bathroom window wasn’t uncommon. She had done this on more occasions than she can count whenever things just weren’t going so great. Bad dates, her high school reunion, family gatherings, and now she was currently shimmering through a window to avoid her ex boyfriend and best friend.

It was ungraceful, to say the least. Her dress had gotten ripped in the process and y/n silently prayed that she could fix it later. Trudding back to her car, she stopped dead in her tracks to see that it was getting hooked to the back of a tow truck.

oh, fuck.

“Hey!” She sprinted and attempted to get the attention of the large vehicle. The driver came to a stop and rolled down his window, a cigar in his mouth and looked every bit of uninterested in what she had to say.

“Listen pretty lady, your clown car was parked infront of a fire hydrant.”

“Cl-clown car?” She spuddered, completely taken aback. “It’s a Volkswagen Beetle.”

“Yeah, well you can come pick up your beetle tomorrow at the shop.” Y/n cautiously looked around the dark street and back to the trucker. It was the middle of autumn and she had just become aware of the goosebumps forming on her exposed legs. A gust of wind blew passed her and she shivered from the contact.

“Well—” She took another look at her surroundings. There weren’t many people around this part of the city which was a bad sign. Walking home in an empty area like this she would surely get grabbed or followed. Shooting a helpless look at the man she asks, “How am I suppose to get home?”

“You can’t call nobody?” Oh, right.

She embarrassingly pulled out her phone and scrolled through her contacts. Yamaguchi was a no-go since his car wasn’t working right now and Tsukishima always has his phone on vibrate. Fucking asshole. The only person left was…”Kuroo.” She could feel the life being sucked out of her as her thumb hovered over the call button. The thought of doing the walk of shame back to the party didn’t seem so bad compared to hitching a ride with her pesky boss.

Unfortunately, her prayers were heard because the screen turned black before she even got the chance to call him. She mentally cursed herself.

The trucker grew impatient at this point, putting the vehicle in drive and moving forward. Y/n pleaded with him to at least let her hitch a ride but he stubbornly refused. And then, he was gone.

Y/n was slowly making her way down the sidewalk, ocassionally looking behind her. She wearily watched each car that rolled passed her and made sure to keep a safe distance between her and the street. She continued this for a good minute before she noticed a car slowly trailing behind her. Her pace sped up and the car followed suit. She began to panic now. Y/n didn't know whether to run or act as if she didn't see them. It wasn't until the car began getting closer that she bolted.

The car chased after her. Y/n made beeline for a nearby alleyway, hoping the lose the stalker. She ducked behind a dumpster and waited, heels in each hand, and ready to attack. A car had stopped at that moment and the sound of a car door shutting caused her to be on high alert.

They’re coming.

She listened patiently as the footsteps drew closer. Her grip tightened, hands trembling with fear. 

Tut!

Closer.

Tut!

Closer.

Tut!

NOW!

“Hello, is anyone there—OW!” Y/n stood from her hiding spot and threw her pumps at the perpetrator. He stumbled back, broken glasses falling to the ground. “Fuck, Y/n.” The stranger grumbled in pain.

“Who are you? How do you know my name?” She probed, pointing her other heel at the fallen man. She did her best to be intimidating but the not subtle quiver in her voice betrayed her.

He felt around for his lost frames before staggering to his feet, putting them back to where they belonged and faced her.

He held his hands up in surrender. “It’s me. Keiji.”

"O-oh." Surprised but also relieved, she dropped her shoe and let out a ragged breath. She didn't know how long she had been holding it in. Her legs almost gave out from the adrenaline wearing away, leaving her a shaking mess. Akaashi attempted to reach out and help but Y/n braced herself on the brick wall instead.

Keiji couldn’t do much except collect her scattered shoes from the dirty cement. Akaashi was aware that he had frightened her so he didn’t dare move an inch when he asked, “How about I take you home, hm?”

The car ride was quiet and Y/n stared out the window at the passing buildings. New York was always so much prettier at night. Despite its downsides, the city was just more lively and active once the sun had set. Everyone is constantly on the move and you never feel alone because there was always someone walking right along side you whether they were going to the same destination or not.

Keiji would occassionally glance at the brunette next to him, trying to think of what to say first. I mean, what could he say? How are you? Sorry for scaring you? He didn’t see anything good coming out of those. She wouldn’t even look at him so he wasn’t even sure if she wanted to talk to begin with. Akaashi braced himself, clearing his throat and straightening his back. He didn’t even get a chance to get a word in before you said, “Stop here.”

Akaashi parked infront of a small duplex. “Thanks for the ride and sorry about your glasses.” Y/n unbuckled her seatbelt, not even looking at him once. He searched for what to say as a response, but it was too late because she had already exited the car and was making her way towards the front door. He watched as y/n entered the house and leaned his head back against the seat once she was gone. "dammit."

NEXT CHAPTER

TAGLIST: [OPEN] 35/50 @snorelexa @rrinkyoo @justanotherbimboslxt @neptunes-secret-garden @gigiiiiislife @akaakeis @giocriedpower @moonschocolate @aliensstolemyheart @milffiz @httpakkeiji @ryuverse @howsurjune @iiwaijime @cosmiicdust @moucheslove @sunsribn @anqelkoz @alexithemiyatic @tangyangie @your-mum3000 @cupidsblonde @renardiererin @k0z3me @cr4yolaas @atsumuenthusiast @nobodybutnnoorr @yumiecheesecrackers @rivaiken @iamflav @v3nusplanetofluv @naviaberries @fuji-sen @izanacult @linmabbe

[comment if you want to be added]

© BAYLZ 2024 | PLEASE DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE, REPOST MY WORKS ONTO OTHER PLATFORMS TO CLAIM AS YOURS

[lwolfcat429]

Adopted Dad! Husk + young demon Cat reader

Husk found her in an alleyway, (before pilot) and out of the **kindness** his heart (more so knowing what's like being in hell at first and being scared) he took her in, not officially adopting her but just kinda keep her, she was around ages 15-16 in pilot+First season.

" ---tel? What the fuck is this?....You!! "

When Husk first arrived at the hotel, she was there with him napping as he gambled, also grewing scared and confused when teleported to the hotel. Gripping the table, ears lower and fur raising, Husk's wings Shielding her. Alastor knows of her and stood there smiling at the two

" Ah, Husker, y/n, my good friends! Glad you could make it! " Alastor said as everyone watched, reader standing there confused

vaggie pointing at the teenage cat demon "is that a child? "

" Don't you "Husker" me, you son of a bitch! I was about to win the whole damn pot! " husk said to Alastor, Alastor explained the situation with the hotel and husker growled, hissing at Alastor" You thought it'd be some kind of big fucking riot just to pull me out of nowhere?! You think I'm some kind of fucking clown?! "

Alastor smirked wider " Maybe " the reader holds in a laugh, husk looks at her with sharp slit pupils, she shakes her head waving and mumbling a sorry. Alastor tells husker he can ran a bar and a have a few drinks. Also just as long as reader isn't touching or drinking said alcohol drinks. Husker hissed again " what do you take me for? Of course I'm not giving her drinks!! I don't let her touch the stuff! she just ain't old enough!!" you stood by rolling your eyes, like any teenager "--- and What? You think you can buy me with a wink and some cheap booze?! " Alastor glares at Husker menacingly " ...Well, you can! " Husker said, taking said booze fearful of Alastor.

Everyone was introduced to the reader, who (is kinda like loona) wants to be left alone and stays on her phone. Alastor kinda tries to teach her something about tech rooting her brain, she doesn't listen to anyone besides husk who kinda grumbles at her to at least talk or try to engage in conversation when people speak to her.

Husk's favorite moments with the reader are when she wants to help but he doesn't want her to touch booze yet, since it's so additive and he doesn't want her to ruin her life. So he goes to the second beast and tells her to cook something and serve it, which she's good at. Husk has given her a "job" (more like his little helper) since he found her, which has been her cooking food

Charlie watches Husk and Reader bond. While cooking, (husker watches so she doesn't hurt herself) the reader sprays husk with water to piss him off. Which he replied with pouring some flour on her. Alastor also watched, finding the scenario "cute" but also entertaining. Vaggie made sure husk and reader cleaned the mess, while angel stood up telling husk the reader was kicking his ass at a childish game. Nifty just joined in to clean making sure they were doing it properly

When Husk met Valentino, the reader was also there to support Angel. Telling him Valentino sucked and Angel was bad ass in standing up to him. Husk told Angel to keep fighting Valentino. Angel in a way turned into a second dad when it came to the reader, one time as a joke, the reader made angel food cake and told the Angel it was for him. A hole in the middle of the cake with icing making it look like an ass hole. Husk nearly choked on his beer as Angel was dying laughing at the joke.

Everyone else found it less amusing.

Angel helps the reader cook and makes sure her room is clean, despite his own room being kinda dirty. Angel and Husk are getting teen reader out of her shell but being protective when it comes to boys, and girls depending on their attitude.

The reader suffers with nightmares, during her life, her parents were abusive so in a fight she killed both of them, and they also killed her during said fight. So sometimes everyone can hear the reader crying or screaming. Husk is the only one who walks to comfort her. Telling everyone to give her space, he'll handle it. But Angel walks in. The reader is under her bed, husk trying to get her out and comfort her. Angels lay on the ground telling her stories, singing songs and telling her how bad ass she is for fighting back against her parents, like how she comforted him when he stood up to Valentino, this sorta helps. Reader comes out, allowing Angel and husk to hug her. Husk makes her hot chocolate to help her sleep and Angel cuddles her, rubbing her fur and singing her good night.

Charlie proceeded to hug and praise husk and Angel for taking care of the reader so well.

Scenario;

The reader got an invite to a party by cherry bomb, the cool aunt who also helps get her out of her shell, reader Mets some people. But husk, Angel and surprisingly Alastor, the strict uncle, was not pleased by this. So they went to find her. Only to see a wolf demon, holding down the reader, she's scared and tearing up. You could hear angel yelling "my baby" as he ran to her. Husk, and angel Jump on the wolf. Alastor, gently helping reader up, telling her this was why she shouldn't go to parties. He teleports her to the hotel where vaggie, Charlie and nifty comfort her.

The wolf demon was found dead, dismembered and basically Unrecognizable that same night

[st4rd0lly]

May i request a valentines with Nikolai,perhaps shibari or lingerie in favor of the Majestic jester.

𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐖𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐃 𝐔𝐏 ♡

cw : shibari , lingerie , teasing , edging , dom nikolai , slight obsessiveness at the start if you squint , degradation , sub reader , gn reader , MDNI

Didn’t anyone ever tell you to not fall for a clown’s tricks?

Even if that clown just so happens to be someone who’s just a teensy bit too fond of you… You really were expecting something random when Nikolai had used his ability to whisper into your ear about a little Valentine’s Day surprise he had for you. And you would be right, and ignore how he got the correct measurements for this lingerie he had custom made for you. He wasn’t kidding when he said he’s been keeping a close eye on you and watching you from afar. He says it’s just a little thing he likes to do for his favorite assistant.

The lingerie covered you with pretty white lace, floral details, hugging you so very nicely. He of course had a red matching set with you and you’d be lying if you said the sight of his tall figure leaning over you, red lace framing his tits so perfectly, wasn’t attractive. That grin on his face told you he knew it too. He also knew how badly you wanted to cum right now, how long had he been ripping away your orgasm by putting a vibrator on you, changing the levels dramatically and riling you up so easily.

And if you thought you could move, you’d be so wrong because with intricate red knots, he tied you up with ribbons quickly. ‘I’ll treat you just a little more gently today..’ He whispered but that was such a lie. The only difference from the usual fucking was there wasn’t any rough ropes involved. You squirmed and thrashed around, the vibrator pressed against the most sensitive but aching part of your body, the heat between your legs.

“You’ve always been such a squirmer huh? Maybe I should’ve used ropes after all dovey..” He thinks out loud to himself, before rubbing himself against you. He lets out a small cackle hearing your loud gasp get cut off with a whine. “But you do look so pretty in ribbon… and so cute. I could just eat you up!”

“Nikolai.. p-please! Fuck me already!” You cried out, trying to buck your hips into his touch but he only giggled and pressed his lips against yours. “N-Need you so bad…”

“You want me to fuck you?”

“Please…”

“Fuck you like this?” He asks, slipping inside of you with not much struggle, you were ready prepped for him. But holy shit, you nearly forgot how big he was when he slipped inside, he was thick and long. A slight curve and you could feel some veins, your walls squeezing around him. You try to take a moment to catch your breath but he’s already gone, slipping out before slamming back in and the delicious stretch makes your head dizzy.

 He hisses and groans, “Taking me so well…” then the vibrations go up again. You squeeze him tightly, biting your lip and throwing your head back.

“Oh god…” You moaned, feeling the bed shake, the sounds of wet skin slapping against each other gets only louder and louder. It was like Nikolai had nearly forgotten about teasing you, he had been biting and sucking at your skin ever since he started to fuck you. But there was one thing that made you know that he didn’t forget. It was his pace, he was slamming into you so deep but not at the usual pace.

“Faster please..”

“Ah ah ah, patience dovey. We have all night and morning too if we’re really that insatiable… I’ll fuck you like the whore you are for me soon enough.”

dividers : @/cafekitsune

[henrioo]

°•*⁀➷ THE BIG CROCO BROTHER: CROCODILE

꒰ SYNOPSIS ꒱ : "Being a father was not easy, imposing limits was necessary and no matter how cute his face was, that of the Crocodile's only son, he couldn't allow you to do whatever you wanted... Especially when you're running around with three deadly wild animals."

꒰ WARNINGS ꒱ : PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP! NON ROMANCE, Father and Son! Male reader! Child reader! Soft dad Crocodile! Cross guild! Savage animals (bananawani), the reader has a powerful man in his control (his own dad)

꒰ WC ꒱ : 1k

꒰ NOTES ꒱ : And here I'm again, trying to post again and idk, nothing much to say today, my mood is horrible and my life sucks, but here some family fluffy to see if that motivates me to write again. Also the names of the wani are terrible because my discord friends choose them lol hahahah blank/no pronouns/fem=block

Crocodile was listening to Mihawk talking about the latest news he had gotten on his last trip, Buggy was looking at some maps that his henchmen had given him and the lizard himself was looking at the management papers of that entire alliance. At least now it was working a little better and giving more profit than headaches, but Crocodile still refused to accept that a circus really had so many needs and needed such a big budget just for those pathetic shows... that clown was probably deceiving.

“FUCK!” Buggy shouted, making the dark-haired man snap out of his reverie and try to figure out what the shouting was about.

It was then that he saw a peculiar scene that had curiously been repeated a lot in the last few days. One of the baby bananawani was biting Buggy's leg, another seemed to be eager to eat the clown's colorful papers and the third and last was trying... no, he was begging for a lap to the strongest swordsman in the world who simply stared at him without reaction.

You see, being a parent is extremely difficult. Being a father and being a pirate with a young son and with Crocodile's current situation is even more so, he wouldn't want that to be the case but he really managed to be quite absent, he tried to make up for it by spoiling you and the problem was that he spoiled you a bit too much. You weren't a bad or rude child, but you simply faithfully believed that you could have the world at your feet if you asked your father nicely. Of course you could, but it wasn't good for your ego to be completely sure of it.

So, in a way of trying to teach you some good values like responsibility and any other nonsense, he left you in charge of taking care of three bananawani babies. You needed to feed them, take them out of the water tank, clean the tank, all the normal activities of a normal pet. With the difference that your pets were deadly creatures even as babies and were more than ready to rip off some arms for your protection.

“(Y/n), what did we talk about getting them out of the tank?” Crocodile sighed, this wasn't the first time the babies had wandered around the ship instead of being safe in their water tanks. He can still hear the cries of the henchmen who received unexpected bites because their pets were out of control.

“I’m sorry daddy” you said entering the room, you quickly went to the baby in Mihawk and picked him up. Not completely up since that single bananawani baby must have been heavier than you, so you just held him the best you could with his entire lower part dragging on the floor.

Buggy whimpered trying to pull the baby off his leg which only made him bite harder, causing the clown to scream again. Crocodile sighed and got up to help you deal with the mess.

“They’re still too young to wander around alone, they’ll just create trouble” he tried to convince you again.

“But... Miss Banana Split was sad” you said worriedly as you looked at the lizard in your arms who was smiling happily like a baby in his parents arms. Crocodile could feel Mihawk's eyes on him from the animal's name but he decided to ignore it.

“They are sweet animals, they don’t get sad” he tried to convince you, ruffling your hair.

“Of course they stay! Mr. Banana even whines!” You said with a huge hurt pout, heavens you really loved those animals...

“Look at feelings, I don’t know, but this pest is really hungry and is about to swallow my leg, so if you can have a father-son moment another time, I’d appreciate it!” Buggy screamed desperately, shaking his leg again, trying to free the animal, but in vain.

“Sorry, Mr. Buggy… Drake is eating too much these days…” you said, releasing the one in your arms and going to take the other one off the clown’s leg. Luckily the animal was happy to be picked up by you and easily released its prey.

“Drake?” Buffy looked at you perplexed, was that the fucking name you chose?

“Don’t you dare” Crocodile growled at him as if he could read his thoughts. It was a clear message, make my son ashamed of the names he chose and you will become real bananawani food.

“They like being close to you daddy” you said petting Drake who was rubbing against you, the other two cubs at Crocodile’s feet.

“Of course they do, I was there when they were born, that doesn't mean you can let them loose like that” he crouched down to your height “They're still cubs and without training, you won't find it fun if they actually eat someone's leg would you?” Crocodile would find it hilarious, but you were a good-hearted child so you just shook your head “See? So for now let’s keep them in the tank and teach them some tricks, if they can behave you can spend more time with them, okay?”

"Okay!" You smiled happily at the possibility of continuing the walk with your animals, without waiting any longer you picked up Drake and dragged him out of the room, followed by the other two animals.

Crocodile sighed, satisfied that you would obey him for now, at least this way he would stop hearing the clown crying.

“Drake? Seriously? What the fuck is that name? For a bananawani!” Buffy said shocked once you were far enough away, he wasn't even paying attention to the ruined maps.

“Shut up…” your father would also love to know where you got that name from but that was an answer that not even you had.

“I actually found Miss Banana Split quite charming” Mihawk said with a cocky grin at Crocodile who just snorted, getting annoyed. He didn't mind having a son as his weakness, but having that weakness exposed and made fun of was something he hadn't gotten used to yet.

“Go back to work” he said irritably, just wanting to pretend that none of that had happened.

[johnnycakesb14de]

how they would be like in school ???

HOW THE GREASERS WOULD BE IN SCHOOL

DARRY

Would be very good student

Like that one popular jock that isn't annoying and is actually quite respectful

Mama raised him with manners

Would have good grades

Super sporty one of the best of his football team

Just loved school so much

Would help other people with their work

Graduate with a 3.9 GPA

SODAPOP

He dropped out but I'll give you before he did

He was a good student he payed attention but it just never clicked in for him

He has basic knowledge for the normal curricular thing

And amazing with cars and that's what he was good at

I can see him going back eventually to get his GED

But he would really try but he could just never get it

Can y'all tell I love this gif of him he's such a cutie omg

PONYBOY

Y'all he literally skipped the 8th grade he is so he is really really smart

He'd have good grades in all his classes but I can see him having MAJOR beef with math

But he's like the quiet smart kid that sits in the back of the class

And he sits with his loud ass friends while he works and they copy

He's in track also so he just overall is a good student

He would also help you or anyone with their homework if he had time too

"hey pony, I need help on this."

"Give me a second let me finish this."

Since he's in advanced classes he probably got like a 4.7 GPA

JOHNNY

Can be really smart he just need deeper explanation by the teacher

I saw someone say he got held back a year but idk if that's true

But if he did he would ALWAYS sit next to Ponyboy so he could explain it

He really is smart he just can't put it on paper

He would really love science lab experiments

You cannot tell me otherwise

Pony tells him what to do and he does it

When he graduated he is alive in my head so suck it he probably got a like a 3.2 GPA

DALLAS

He's that one kid that ALL the teachers envy because he never goes to school but he good grades

Like I feel like he'd be pretty smart he just doesn't care

"Omg Dallas, you got a 87% on your test!"

"Eye downt cayre mayn🙄"

Like if you didn't know how to do something he'd just randomly drop it

Like he'll look at your paper and just say what to do

"I just don't know what-"

"Combine the like terms"

"huh?"

"Just do it mayn!"

But don't get me wrong he is really fucking stupid, like really dumb

TWO-BIT

He's been held back like three times

So like lets be fr

I really don't have too much to say but he'd be the class clown that is actually funny

Everyone knows him and thinks he's funny

Was never a try hard

Would eventually graduate

No one knew how

Very low GPA

I don't know if he also dropped out

Because Ponyboys petty ass did not give him a personality

But hed be a pretty average student

Not great grades not bad ones just passing grades

Doesn't care about school just cars

I really don't think he'd care about a GPA or college

[thewebcomicsreview]

so what's your take on the recent "stonetoss is a much better comic than haus of decline because it has fewer words" over on twitter?

I really wanted to reply with a snarky dismissive one-liner. I had one written and everything, but then I wanted to make sure I understood the context and looked into this and ugh. Now I have to explain Twitter drama, this sucks.

Okay. Christ.

Haus of Decline makes this comic

The comic pops up again, and a person named Basil sees it and has a take that it has too many words.

As arguably the most prominent Webcomic Critic out there (which is the say, the only one still doing it), I kind of prefer the wordless version as well, but it's a matter of taste, more than an "objectively correct" take.

Basil then follows up on that take with a rather spicier one

It's worth noting here that Basil is saying Hans Kristian Graebener is "better" in the sense that they believe it's more effective propaganda, not in their own personal opinion of quality. And that's....arguable? For one, Haus of Decline isn't really trying to be left-wing propaganda, it's just shitposting, and for two I think Hans Kristian Graebener's effectiveness is way more complicated and sophisticated than just "brevity". And for three, saying Hans Kristian Graebener is "better comics" is really ill-advised, especially given some context I'll reveal shortly.

Haus sees this, calls Basil a moron, and it turns into a dumb stupid internet argument where both people look bad. And being, again, the top Webcomic Critic, I can confirm that sometimes when you call a webcomic bad the creator will get mad at you over it and that's just something you have to expect and live with and try not to beclown yourself in response to. I don't think Basil responded well here, and "just learn to take criticism" is a pretty common and loaded phrase in Webcomics Discourse. Still, whatever. A questionable take led to a short slap fight. That would be the end of it.

Except. The context.

Seven or eight months ago, Basil made this tweet.

Which is a far better tweet, and is now a meme used by liberals in intra-left twitter discord fights to dunk on the anti-voting Trump-curious twitter left. This tweet also came around the time Will Stancil was whipping a lot of normie liberals to push back against the anti-Biden narrative and obviously the election itself has led a notable shift in the vibes where you're seeing a lot more "Biden's not that bad" takes and even a bit of "Actually, Biden is good and I'm tired of pretending he's not" in leftist spaces. And if you follow my personal account you'll know that my vibes have also shifted in that direction a lot. Basil obviously didn't cause the shift, even Stancil didn't, it was the election, but it's their name on the top of the tweet that's used as an anti-anti-voting meme that the left still doesn't has a great response to, so a lot of leftists fucking hate Basil. The kind of passionate hatred you only feel when you're getting clowned on by Matthew fucking Yglesias. So there's a huge hate mob against Basil in the way that hate mobs tend to occur.

This all attracts the attention of Hans Kristian Graebener, who pops out a comic taking a shot at Haus over this. Which is, honestly, a much better example of why Hans Kristian Graebener is effective propaganda than the brevity thing, because god damn did that pour gasoline on the fire, and....well....tldr:

My take is that this whole fight is incredibly stupid, no one involved looks good, and the only one benefiting from it is the literal fucking Nazi.

[dr-spectre]

Guys, i wanna preach something to y'all.

If you really love a character and if they are really important to you, but you feel like a large majority of fans treat them poorly and they mischaracterise them. Don't be scared to talk about it.

PLEASE!

This is not even focused on Splatoon, no, this is just in general. If you genuinely love a character so much and they are treated in a way where you feel like it doesn't represent the character's true personality, events, arcs, etc, then speak up about it. Make a post on any social media platform or forum. Speak your peace, share your evidence, do what you can to say "hey guys. I think you should all take a second look at this character i really like! They have some cool stuff about them that not a lot of people talk about!"

I think a really great example of a character who's been really mischaracterised is Deadpool. In the comics he's a sad clown sort of guy where he hides his pain, suicidality and depression behind jokes and 4th wall breaks. He's a bad dude who tries his hardest to be a good person, but he fails over and over again and he doesn't believe he can ever be loved or respected. He's funny but he also has depth and layers which is so important to create an everlasting character. Or at least that's what I've heard he's like from comic fans. I haven't read the comics but i plan on to some day because I'm fascinated by his depth and i wanna experience that.

However in his first major solo appearance, which was the game, he was treated as only a loud mouth jokester who sees every woman he comes across as "awooga! boobies and ass!!!!" and all the depth and nuance is gone. Even though they had a comic writer who worked on Deadpool comics for years, he didn't fucking ATTEMPT to give the character any form of intrigue. Just... nothing. Only memes and pop culture references that'll become dated in 5 years.

And a lot of people think that's just who Deadpool is... That's how so many people got introduced to this character which caused misinformation to spread about him for so long... And that fucking sucks dude.

Thankfully the movies have some form of an emotional center with Wade and Vanessa's relationship and they give the character... SOMETHING!!!!! At least the comic fans seem to be pretty okay with movie Deadpool from my knowledge, which is good.

ANYWAYS! BACK TO SPLATOON!

Do you guys remember when Pearl and Marina used to be treated like this? Pearl as some big forehead joke of a character, while Marina was some bimbo with huge honkers and a giant waist.

Oh yeah, this was how they were treated for years. I remember it man, i fucking remember it all. I was there. Sorry to tell the new fans who joined from Splatoon 3. Even after Octo Expansion gave them detailed backstories and further explored their personalities, they were still mischaracterised as flanderised jokes and nothing more in the community.

But after people took the time to get to know these two, after people spent 7 years with them and discussed the interesting things about them online, they are now portrayed significantly better than how they used to be treated in the community and are celebrated as some of the best characters in the franchise. As they fucking deserve to be treated. Fans don't treat them as jokes anymore, casuals don't make tired old jokes anymore. Everyone loves these two now and for the right reasons.

And all it took was a small section of people to praise their best attributes and eventually overshadow the misinformation about them. Pearl is celebrated because she is genuinely a great character with a heart of gold and a want to care for the people around her. To make every day chaotic and to have fun with her CANONICAL GIRLFRIEND!

Marina is celebrated as a character who autistic people can look up to and find comfort in. AND THAT IS FUCKING AWESOME!!! AND IT ALMOST NEVER HAPPENED! If no one bothered to look deeper at her character then maybe many peoples lives could have never been changed for the better... Isn't that crazy to think about?

If you can change one person's perspective on a character you love, and they feel that energy and they wanna help you share that energy with more people, then i think you've done something truly amazing. Eventually that shit is gonna spread further and further AND FURTHER!!!!!!

Remember when Shiver and Frye were treated as jokes similar to Pearl and Marina at the start of Splatoon 3? Frye with her big forehead jokes and people calling her ugly due to... well... i'm gonna make some wild accusations here but... there might be an undertone of racism when people call Frye ugly... like... i'm just saying... I'm scared of what these people think about Indian women in the real world... What views they share about them... Frye is inspired by Indian culture and by proxy, Indian women. I'm just saying...

And, of course, fans gooning over Shiver because god forbid a woman exposes her midriff and has curvy hips... ugh...

BUT THANKFULLY IT'S CHANGED NOW! Lots of people see Shiver as a silly yet fun character who has the potential for depth down the line, which people are excited to see. People adore Frye and love her personality and her family.

There are people out there who say that Frye is actually cute and beautiful, AND YOU KNOW WHAT!?? I FUCKING AGREE! If people didn't share their love and takes on Frye then maybe she wouldn't become my favourite Deep Cut member.

Now... To tie it all back to me, I'm seeing this change in perspective for a character.... with Callie Cuttlefish.

During the years 2017 to 2022, Callie was always mischaracterised as some airheaded idiot who ended up getting herself "kidnapped" and "brainwashed" and had to be saved as she was some stupid helpless victim. This was seen in official material and fan comics too. I remember it man, i really do. Hell it STILL happens till this day. That fucking summer 2024 Nintendo magazine? Jesus christ dude...

But now? That perspective is changing... Sure not everyone is gonna fully agree and there probably isn't gonna be massive change in official media, social media such as YouTube and twitter, and of course wikis. Not everyone is gonna know about what Callie is truly like and what she has truly gone through. But....

That's okay.

I really don't wanna come across as some sort of gatekeeping fan, i really hate those kinds of """fans""" so much. I just wanna educate and share my love for a comfort character of mine. Eventually the perspective shared by me and others will be spread to other social media platforms and many more people. Because that's how the internet works baby!!!!

The perspective that Callie was just a girl suffering from fame and loneliness, a girl who wanted an escape from it all, a girl who went under hypnosis to numb her pain and stay in the corruptive darkness she built up for so long, a girl who wanted to help her enemies rather than stay in her current life with a cousin who isn't there for her anymore... A girl who didn't need to be saved, but a girl who needed to be reminded of the good memories she had with her cousin, to remember what she truly stood for and the love she wants to share with everyone via music... A girl who just needed... a fresh start....

She was never kidnapped despite what official sources say... She was never brainwashed despite what they tell you... Callie had agency... Callie was suffering... Just in a more nuanced and fascinating way.

that perspective... is spreading and... I'm so happy about it...

Anyways, that's all i have for you guys. Please share your love for a character with others, share your unique perspectives to the world, you have a voice, USE IT! I DON'T CARE IF IT'LL REACH TEN THOUSAND PEOPLE! ONE THOUSAND! A HUNDRED! ONE PERSON! DON'T FUCKING MATTER!

USE YOUR VOICE! PLEASEEEE!!!!!!!!

[deadcoquete]

Defending | Rodrick Heffley

𝒴𝑜𝓊’𝓁𝓁 𝓃𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝒾𝓁𝑒𝓃𝓉

𝒷𝒶𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒𝓈 𝓅𝑒𝑜𝓅𝓁𝑒 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝒻𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔.

-

Reader’s POV

Rodrick, I think that was his name, he was a quiet kid, we had all classes together, and I wanted to talk to him but did not know how to start a conversation nor how to keep a conversation going.

He doesn't have many friends and stays to himself, that's what I like about him, he's not a popular kid, not a class clown(sometimes), and doesn't talk unless he's being talked to.

It was always lunch when I wanted to go up to him and sit down and talk, he didn't look lonely but at the same time he did, and he and I would make eye contact, and smile at each other when one another was staring for a little too long.

Right now was lunch time and some people I knew were walking and talking about random stuff “Wait what about him?” Sarah pointed out a boy “ous he cute” They giggled and laughed.

“What about him?” Tammie pointed out where Rodrick was sitting, eating and looking at his phone with his headphones on not paying attention to anybody.

They side-eyed each other and laughed really loud making me roll my eyes and do a little sigh, they looked back at me “What about you?” I frowned my eyebrows “What about me?” I ask.

“Don’t you have classes with Rodrick?” Sarah ask smirking “yea? Why?” “so you’d fuck him? I would talk to him and fuck him” Tammie said as Sarah giggled.

“I mean yea I want to talk to him but that doesn't mean I wanna fuck him” I stated, they made a face “Y/n cmon we know you so much better than that, we know you wanna fuck the Rodrick Heffley” “plus why would you? He's emo, weird and not talkative” Sarah pointed out looking at him.

They made eye contact and she looked away but I stared at him as he continued looking her down and made a face, looking back into his phone making me giggle and looked back at them.

“How's he weird?” I questioned her “Because he wears black 24/7, doesn't talk, and doesn't have friends” I looked at her “So just because he stays to himself he gotta be called weird? And so what about him wearing black all the time? I do! And I don't hear y'all whining and complaining about it! And so what if he's not talkative people don't always have to talk”

I told them“Why are you standing up for him?” what she said caused me to scoff “Because you are so quick to judge others about the little things that they do when it has nothing to do with you”

She laughed “I know but just look at him, he's weird” They both laughed again, it was to the point where I wanted to bitch slap them.

“You never know what people have going on at home and coming to school how they are, I mean Sarah your parents fight all the time and you call me wanting me to comfort you and you don't see me telling you to suck it up” Sarah looked at me with pain in her eyes.

“And Tommie your mom abuses you so bad you had to go to the hospital and you called me also wanting me to comfort you and you didn't see me telling you to stop crying like a fucking crybaby” She stared at me.

“So stop talking about him when he didn't do nor say shit to your cold heartless asses” I stated and walked away from them.

-

After school, it was the end of the day, I sat on one of the benches that sat under the shade, I had my headphones listening to my music as I waited for my ride.

Me, Sarah, and Tommie made eye contact as they walked off to wherever, the eye contact was soon cut off by someone standing in front of me, I looked up And saw him.

Rodrick

We stared at each other for a little “Thanks” he said which led me confused “…what?” “For defending me to your friends” he pointed out.

“They're not my friends, never were, just associates” he nodded his head a little and it was now quiet “But your welcome, people doesn't deserve to be talk like that when they know nothing about the person”

He sat down next to me leaving a good space between us “well thanks…again” I chuckled at him and looked at him “so you have any friends your waiting for?” he shook his head “Nah, just waiting for my ride”

“What about your van? The löaded diaper one?” he looked at me with eyebrows frowned, I notice his stare “I'm not a stalker or anything its just, that's the only white van I see with something written on it”

I quickly said and he chuckled “Relax, something was wrong with it was in the repair shop” I nodded my head, “Well…are you doing anything after school?” “Why? You wanna hang out with me or something?”

I shrugged “Maybe” he smiled a little and shook his head “You have Instagram?” he asked and I nodded and he put his hand out “Can I see it?” I opened up the app and went to the search bar and handed him my phone.

He typed something and pressed a button and handed my phone back, that's when we heard two cars horn we looked and saw our parents.

“Well I have to go” “Yeah me too” We both got up and started walking to our car that was behind another “I’ll see you later?” I ask he cracked a smile and nodded “Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow” I smiled and got inside the car.

Once I was inside the car my mother noticed my smile “Who got you smiling like that?” she asked teasing me as I giggled “Nobody” I saw the look she was giving me making me laugh.

-

Rodricks POV

“I’ll see you later?” she ask I cracked a smile and nodded “Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow” she smiled and got inside her car and so did I.

Once I was inside the car my mother noticed my smile “who's the lady?” she asked and I rolled my eyes “Nobody Mom” I said “She's a really pretty girl” My mom said “Yeah, too pretty to date you” Greg said and I scoffed.

“Shut it dickweeb” “Hey! Language, plus I think you too would make a great couple” I sat up “Really?” I asked and she nodded “Totally” “Don't get his hopes up,” Greg said and I punched him in his arm.

“OW!” I grabbed him and whispered in his ear “Keep talking and I’ll cut your fuckin tongue off” I shoved him back in his seat as we made our way home.

A/N: GUYS! Send request please😋🍎🪐

[formulateez]

1:32am | oscar piastri

pairing: oscar piastri x fem!reader

genre: literal pwp, except there is minimal plot, random horny hour drabble prompt(s): "i'm going to fill you up so good and make you mine." and "someone's going to hear us!" summary: classic fwb troupe where y/n and oscar try to fit in a quickie during a sleepover with their mutual friends asleep in the rooms next door word count: ~520

requested?: no, teehee, but i got faded than a hoe a few nights ago and wrote this at like 5am and it's been sitting in my drafts for a little bit because i've been too scared to post it LMFAO there also isn't enough op81 content so i wanted to add to it :) but, please reblog and leave feedback !! (but pls be nice otherwise i will cry)

extras: banners made using template by @/cafekitsune !!

"Oh-fuck, Oscar-" You choke out, your hands running through Oscar's hair as his lips found all the spots that draw out heavenly sounds from you. “Please, Oscar, someone’s going to hear us!” You fail to sound stern as the Australian continues to ravage your neck.

“Fine with me, ‘cuz I wanna hear how good I’m making you feel.” he mutters out in between each kiss that he trails down your front.

It had been a couple weeks since you and Oscar originally made a special friendship agreement. You had invited him over one night to watch a movie or two, and the night ended with his face lodged between your thighs.

Oscar’s mouth and free hand occupy themselves with your nipples, while you buck your hips up to grind against him. “Oh shit, please.” Your plead leaves your lips softly as you ache for him to give you more.

“Please what, baby? Am I making you feel good, hmm?” Oscar hums as he continues to suck on your nipple, while he’s flicking your other nub between his fingertips. “Wanna hear you say it, pretty girl.“

“Yes, yes- fuck, yes. Please, Oscar, more-“ your pleads earn you a slight chuckle out of the guy above you as his fingers find their way to the waistband of your shorts.

“Quite talkative for someone who’s worried about being heard, don’t you think?” His lips are leaving faint marks along your collarbone and the tops of your boobs. Man, does he love seeing the very faint marks peek through the lower cut tops that you often wear during the summer. “You want more? Tell me what else you want, doll.”

As his fingers dip into your waistband, they start to lightly brush over your core as another soft, yet sharp, moans leaves your lips. You grab what you can of his hair and lightly tug him upwards to meet face to face with him. “Fuck- please fuck me, Oscar.”

“Yeah?” Oscar draws his hand out of your shorts as he starts to tug them down, along with your underwear before he throws them off to the side. “You want me to fuck you, hm? Is that what my pretty girl wants?”

“Yes, Oscar, please,” you breathe out, lightly tugging on the hem of his shirt, wanting less barriers between the two of you. “Want you inside me, so bad.”

It doesn’t take long before both of you finish undressing each other, and his lips are finding themselves attaching to your neck once again. His tip is just barely teasing your entrance and he continues to work his way all over your neck and chest.

“I’m gonna fill you up so good and make you mine, princess.” Oscar groans into your ear as he slowly starts to push himself into you, enticing the sweetest of moans from your lips as you savor the feeling of Oscar filling you up as promised.

You both were, in fact, not quiet enough, as Lando was tortured with faintly hearing both of you moan. He quickly threw on his noise-canceling headphones, making a mental note to clown the both of you the next morning.

[wolftoken]

III nsfw alphabet

a/n: thought of this first thing in the morning when i opened my eyes ouaaghhhhhh

• masterlist •

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He will have a towel and some water on standby ready to go once you’re finished. He’ll press soft kisses all over your face and neck while making sure you had a good time and everything’s okay.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He’s got big hands and he knows what power they have over you, physically and mentally.

He loves your chest, whether you have tits or not. He loves leaving bite marks and hickeys all over it, especially if you wear a low-cut shirt to show off his marks.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He loves finishing over your face. Watching it drip down to your lips so you can lick it off makes him go absolutely feral.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He wants to fuck your face and make you choke on his cock until you cry. He feels slightly bad about wanting it so bad, but he can’t help it when you look so cute on your knees for him.

If you’re afab, he wants to fuck you on your period. He likes blood, he likes to fuck you, what more is there to say?

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s had a few partners and he knows what’s he’s doing. But he’s not very cocky about it, and he’ll take his time to learn what makes you feel good.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He’ll bend you over anything. Bed, couch, desk, grand piano, anything. But he makes sure to put a pillow under your hips so you don’t get too sore.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

III is absolutely cracking jokes all the time. He loves making you laugh especially if he’s fucking you.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

There’s some hair down there but he keeps it neatly trimmed. He’s got a faint happy trail, too.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Sometimes he feels a little awkward with the romantic side of things, but it’s not that he doesn’t want to be soft and sweet he just can’t find the words most of the time. But he tries his best and if you encourage him and be sweet with him he’ll pick it up pretty fast.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

When he’s on tour it’s pretty much every night. He misses you so much, all he thinks about is how he wishes it was your mouth on him instead of his hand. Of course he’s sending you pictures and videos of him getting off and whining about how much he loves you.

When he’s home, he’ll only jack off if he’s horny and you’re not. He can never let a hard on go to waste.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Overstimulation, for both you and him. He wants to see you writhing in pleasure and crying because it’s too much but it’s so good. He also wants you to tie his hands to the headboard and make him cum until he physically can’t anymore.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He’s down to clown anywhere, any time. At home he prefers the bed or couch just because it’s comfy but if you want it anywhere else he’s not thinking twice about it. He also likes the shower because you can both clean up easily afterwards.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Looking at you, thinking about you, touching you, just you. But he especially loves seeing you wear his clothes. He absolutely needs to fuck you in one of his hoodies.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He’s down for most things but he won’t fuck you if he knows you’re upset or feeling too vulnerable. Even if you ask him to make you feel better, feel good, he’d rather just cuddle and talk instead.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He will go down on you until you have to push him off. He loves it, the taste and smell of you drives him absolutely wild.

If you suck him off he’ll be whining and burying his hands in your hair. He makes the prettiest sounds like this, especially when he’s close. Whimpering and going “oh god, oh fuck, baby please please please,” until he cums.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He likes it fast, most of the time, because he’s desperate. But after that first round he’ll calm down a bit and match whatever pace you like.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He loves a quickie. Pulling you into a bathroom or even a closet gives him such a thrill, especially if other people are around that might hear you and him going at it.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Absolutely down for any new things you want to try. He’ll read about something or the boys will tell about something they tried and liked, so he gets plenty of new ideas when you want them.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can last a while but that’s just because he likes when it starts to hurt a little.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He definitely has vibrators that he wants to use on you. But if you use them on him he’ll be twitching and jerking so much you’ll have to tie him down.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He will tease you mercilessly and then act like he’s innocent. He’ll come up behind you to reach for something he definitely could have gotten without pressing himself against your ass, or he’ll use his big hands to move you out of his way when totally unnecessary.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Unashamedly loud. A drawn out “fuuuuuuck,” when he’s fully inside you is pretty common with him. He’ll groan so loudly the neighbours have complained before and probably will again. You just feel so good, he can’t help himself.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He might invite one of the other vessels to fuck you so he can watch.

If you’re afab, peg him - he’ll love it. He will be SO LOUD though, so it’s definitely something you two would do in the privacy of your home and not in a closet while he’s just got off stage.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Not super thick but definitely long. Could be too much if you’re not prepped enough.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Literally one look from you and he’s ready to go.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He gets pretty sleepy after sex. He’ll stay awake to make sure you’re find and taken care of, but once he knows everything’s okay he’s got you in his arms and he’s falling asleep in minutes.

[zombii-ships]

SDJ BOYS: KINK HEADCANNONS

sorry if these are ooc i was just brainstorming and bein a horny nerd

Jack

-World’s biggest breeding kink. Dude’s absolutely got a huge thing for claiming his partner, and he loves to watch his cum spill back out of them.

-Praise. PRAISE HIM. PLEASE. Tell him how good he makes you feel and he’s over the fucking moon. He’s so motivated by praise, the simplest “you’re making me feel so good” is gonna flip such a switch in his head.

-Makeup/Body Paint. Whether it’s seeing his partner in clown paint, painting their body and feeling them up, his own makeup smearing on them, or theirs running on their face, he loves it. Jack’s immediately down for round two if he catches a glimpse of his partner’s liner/lipstick on his chest.

-Foodplay. You thought whipped cream was just for the pancakes? Surprise surprise!

Joseph

-Size Difference. Loves feeling big compared to his partner, whether he’s topping or bottoming, he loves the difference. Loves seeing his partner in his clothes, especially his jackets and pajama pants. Put on something of his and its gonna ignite something in him.

-Voice Kink. He LOVES getting to hear his partner, if they make a noise while they stretch? He’s horny. Moan? Horny. Whisper in his ear? Horny. So so easily stirred if he’s the one who gets you to make noise for him, too~

-Hickies. MARK. HIM. UP. PLEASE. Dude absolutely loves getting to show off what his partner did to him, he wears them like badges of honor.

-Bonus, I know he’s an absolute FIEND for giving head and he loves just knowing that he’s pleasuring his partner. Dude’s a total pleasure top.

Shaun

-A nut for roleplay. Pet/Owner, Slasher/Final Survivor, Vampire/Prey, whatever, dude LOVES playing a little horny pretend with his partner.

-Masks. Ghostface, leatherface, pyramid head, gas masks, he loves the mystery there and he finds it really hot. Goes along with his roleplay kink, but either way, he’s super into it.

-Exhibitionism. Give him the go to make porn of yall and he’s gonna go nuts. Something about filming the deed or just you getting off turns him tf ON. Plus if he can go back and show you the footage?? “Look how pretty you looked here. Fuck- lemme rewind so I can hear that sound again~”

-Monster/Abnormal Toys. What’s a horror junkie without some monster dildos??

Nick

-Begging. Beg HIM. Beg him for whatever, doesn’t even have to be sexual, he just loves it. He just wants to hear you pleading with him, asking for his permission.

-Shibari. Let him make your body into art. The more intricate the better. Whether it’s simple ties or a whole full body production, it’s the artistry and the restraint that really gets him, plus seeing you wrapped up for the taking isn’t half bad either. Bonus points if he gets to do pretty harnesses and collars ✨

- Waxplay/Temperature Play. You or him, but mainly you I think. You’re the canvas and he’s the painter, and he’s obsessed with how you let him paint you. Whether it be pretty dark colored wax, gently touching you with ice, or just warm hands against your skin, he loves your reactions, watching you squirm between the different sensations.

-Oral Fixation. Don’t suck on his fingers unless you wanna rile his ass up

Ian

-Cosplay/Costumes. IF YOU LET HIM DRESS YOU UP he’s going to go absolutely feral. Ian’s a fashion fan, so seeing you in something he specifically coordinated to look good on you and to his personal tastes would have him going over the deep end. He’s literally obsessed.

-Blindfolds. Now I know he’s scared of being left alone, but I think he’d enjoy the rush of giving up control to you like that, letting you touch and trail over his body without knowing what’s next would have him super sensitive and needy in seconds. Plus if you let him blindly roam his hands over you?? He’s about to get SO handsy.

-Also a roleplay guy. He’s an actor, let him get into a role! Not only is he excited to make the bit convincing, but he might slip pretty deep into it, local man gets horny from improv.

-Body Writing. Write all your favorite things about him on his body, and let him put his signature on you?? Dude would be over the moon going about his day with your words of praise written on his chest, tummy and hips.