#seriously i dunno either

[thewriterowl]

I would like to preface this out of left field question by saying I absolutely adore all of your work!!! Every story and tumblr post with dark content is something that I enjoy reading!

But do you ever look back at some of your writing and ideas, especially with dark Din, and wonder where the “F**k that came from”?

Like everything you have written is amazing but you have no idea where the premise came from? Like I can day dream up scenarios when I’m going to bed that follow some of your plots but I never seem to come up with anything original.

Please don’t take this question as an insult!!! I’ve just been rereading some of your posts and I had the realization that I never in a million years could have come up with this scenario.

Thank you for sharing everything!!

Hello! I am anything but upset or insulted, so no worries :D

And I shall be honest!

I dunno.

:D

I've liked dark content, with Dark "tops", since I was a teen. I devoured manga and anime, books, and then dove deep into Fanfiction.net and found myself just loving the Bad Boy trope (which also had Bad Girl trope for the yuri/FF pairings). You can see even in my ancient sacred texts of my fanfiction back on FF.Net that I had a thing for possessive/obsessive/controlling lovers who were super sexy for their love interest (i.e. the love interest/bottoms (I say tops and bottoms for all genders FYI, though it's mostly for MM) were always my favorite).

It very well could be from some trauma. It could be I am imprinting myself on the bottoms. I haven't ever truly sat to think about it because it was so normal when I was starting fanfiction that it wasn't really something to think about. But anytime a plot pops up my brain is all "aww...make it dark" or at the very least "make him feral and possessive" and I'm just "(snaps fingers) you crazy sonofabitch I'm in." I mean, i was doing that for the OG Yu-Gi-Oh, Yu Yu Hakusho, Bleach and Naruto (I'm old)

And nothing is really original lol some things just pop up from seeing something that weirdly triggers a story and my brain is just gonna go follow it and see what happens. Sometimes, I am reading manhwas (ya'll are in trouble with all the messed up stuff I'm reading with them anyone heard of suffering stories called Little Mushroom or Save the Hunter??? The WHUMP I am thinking of!) or a book and go "this is nice! but I wish they'd done this instead...hey, why don't I think of a story where they do this instead?" or there is a scene and I'm just "my baby girl meowmeow (aka Luke) needs to go through this" and bam story.

That's what happened for Ghosts of the Bent and Broken. I saw Rocket's past from Guardians of the Galaxy III and needed to inflict that on Luke. Just that scene made me want to write a whole story to simply lead up to that reveal.

So...

(shrugs)

I dunno.

And the clicking of stories? I also dunno. Literally this morning, I watched a few TikToks and my brain whispered "yo...you need to write this" and now I'm nearly 10 pages into a story when I should be trying to finish a story for Halloween or at least doing the Moonblight update but nope. Instead, my brain is on whales.

Maybe it's decades of intense maladaptive daydreaming and intense escapism. Or my brain is just wonky.

Hope that answered??? :D

[ficandkaboodle]

Sister Imperator took one look at her undiagnosed AuHD son who was going through months/years of thanatophobia, clocked in that he also had difficulty focusing, and thought, “You know what job would be perfect for you once your time as Papa concludes? :)”

Like, no setting him up for life to relax somewhere on a farm to train rats, not even a slightly less demanding desk job within the Church, it’s just straight to the top. It’s almost as though she has difficulty conceptualizing why anyone would want anything that doesn’t have to do with the Church. 🤔

[potatobugz]

something something Molly Blyndeff who was forced into the role of an adult and wants to get out of that role, who wants to live as a child and go to school and hang out with her friends,

vs Sylvie Ashling, who presumably put himself in the role of an adult and got a degree in psychology, who doesn't like being treated like a child despite actually being one and would prefer to be considered an adult

idk just . parallels. things i noticed i guess

[bloodypeachblog]

I have never played the Call of Duty games, nor do I ever intend to (FPS games aren't my thing), and I don't know the story AT ALL..

....but holy goddamn, Ghost and Konig are doing something to me.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I feel like the post I just reblogged pointing out the all-or-nothing in how many people interact with their deconstruction of systems of oppression is resonating for me right now with so many different moments in my life where someone decides that because some part of myself has access to some of the levers of control/influence/etc that come with the relationship to power, and decides what that must mean about all the other parts of me that might be explicitly refused access to those same levers.

It has happened in so many spaces/aspects of my life, and it can be so hard to feel safe and seen and trusting of others when that's my chronic relationship to being perceived - half truths and obfuscation.

It doesn't really change regardless of who's doing the assuming either. Like, where they land in relation to systems of power may influence which direction they lean in their assumptions about me, but even that is often inconsistent. Both sides of the equation (those who share my marginalizations and those who exist in spaces of closer proximity to power) will still do it nonetheless.

When I was doing my liminal social identities work in undergrad, this was actually a big part of the conceptualization we explored of traumtic alienation of self as individual from self as collective, and what it can do to people to exist in this liminal relationship with your environment and the people in it. As I'm starting to gather my thoughts about my stress modeling, this conceptualization is bubbling back to the surface. I'm finding myself meandering through it on both a path specifically my own, and in an effort to better understand what other paths may be available to people during their version of the process/experience.

Selfhood is so fragile, and so in need of balance between self-construction and co-construction for us humans, and that gives us so many beautiful, even spiritual, experiences of meaning making and generativity of self. It also createa many pivot points where we may find room in our path for vulnerability or blurring of self. As much as these pivot points can be distressing, I think they also sometimes become our foundations of change/personal evolution, when we find that through the distress of existing in shift, something meaningful is occurring or observable in our experience of self-in-transition.

I think something I've valued especially about my own relationship with self is its transience. It doesn't always end up somewhere I would be happy to sustain, but it always allows me a degree of comfort in complexity that I think has made my body-mind a safer place for me overall.

[blujayonthewing]

sure was Something to see a bunch of people on facebook yesterday like 'haha wow this weather is great! I'll sure take 70s over february weather any day!!' and then watch severe thunderstorms and tornados sweep through that night

[chocolate-cream-soldier]

-.-

[veilk]

one time i tried that "mentally ask yourself if anyone else is in there" thing & i didn't get a Direct response but the song stuck in my head (which i Do Not control) would change and the new repeating lyric would function as a response to whatever question i asked. so that was kind of fucked up & i don't know if i'm supposed to do anything about it. it just kinda sounds ridiculous to say "there are entities in my head attempting to communicate with me via song lyrics"... i realize now i don't actually have a specific question i just wanted to tell someone about this sorry

THAT'S. HOW IT GOES SOMETIMES... yeah i have no idea what's up with that either brains are weird

[blueshykitsune-blog]

Anyone on Tumblr got a good guide for long lasting scars?

Specifically for a variety of different type of skin tones.

Or even like explanations on scar colors?

Like dark colored scars versus light colored.

Preferably about those ghat last years if not for life?

(I'm trying to figure out the best way to make my character look a bit accurate in plushie form.)

[sketchiefoxie]

yoooooooo I bought myself the 40th anniversary comic!!! This changes everything!!!!

[sockdooe]

Agreed so much with your only Shiro deserved to be Black Paladin post. Like Keith never wanted to be the leader and why are people making Lance ride the black Lion when he's already riding it's pilot

Apparently I never saw this?? But im glad you liked it! It’s sad that shiro being the best black paladin for the black lion is such an… uncommon thought? (I can’t find a better word my apologies)

All this set up is made for him and he proves himself and truly cares for his team and you’re telling me that the majority of the fandom are having a competition for Keith and Lance???

I understand that they wanted to make Keith the leader but why build Shiros entire character like they did?

Why do all that character building if it was just going to be tossed?

Not only does fandom exclude shiro but canon does to, mans can take a break :(

[lottieratworld]

that walmart00012 stream seems uh, kind of bad. just like, recording strangers (potentially close-up with full view of their face) without their knowledge or permission up on twitch for everyone to see? extremely uncomfortable, honestly no better than tiktokers or youtubers or whatever recording strangers in public being weird

[dan-crimes]

I fucking HATE YOUTUBE literally like bro when I look something up maybe it makes sense that I am looking for videos related to that thing specifically and that I'm NOT looking for a bunch of UNRELATED RESULTS PERTAINING TO MY ALREADY EXISTING INTERESTS AND/OR GENERALLY HORNY RESULTS THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY OF MY INTERESTS

I literally cannot find anything because it shows me like, let me count, 12 results of what I could potentially actually want to see before going Oh people have also watched this! And then scroll down like 5 of those and then it's like You might also like this! NO!! NO I WOULDN'T !!!! THAT SHIT IS COMPLETELY UNRELATED TO WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR !!!! And guess what I just went back and checked my other searches and I only got 10 somewhat related results on that one! AND THE ONE BEFORE THAT WAS ONLY 8 RESULTS !!!!!

I AM LOOKING FOR SOMETHING SPECIFIC BUT IT DOESN'T BARELY SHOW ME ANYTHING WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS YOUTUBE WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS !!!!!!

[windfighter]

"Don't be angry at the rich for hoarding money, just imagine yourself with hoards of money and the universe/God will give it to you" what is this book xD

[azathothweirdo]

"Do you approve of yukio--" He's fake. He's fictional. He does not exist. Aoex is not real. He's a anime character.

I don't need to "approve" anything about a character's behavior or personality to like them. It's a story. It's entertainment. No one needs to defend their enjoyment of a fictional character.

[monty-glasses-roxy]

The biggest challenge I think for Meteors AU (especially this version) is that I need to think about the ramifications of what Fazbear Entertainment has been doing, not just to the Security Breach/Ruin cast, but to those that came before, and those in other locations too. Of course, the focus is on the animatronics finally experiencing a life of their own, and being given a kind of childhood they never, ever could have had before, but it's also about the gravity of how they've been treated, and about the choices the company has made.

I have a possible way to give this version of Meteors and open ended feel, that would involve the reveal of just what has been going on the Pizzaplex, but that then leaves how these things have affected Roxy in particular, and how they're now effecting Cassie and her dad by proxy. Thinking about the kind of habits she would have learned, about the ways she's learned to cope with everything and how she's having to relearn how to trust people again... That's the hard part. Sure, I don't exactly have to spell it out if I ever got around to writing it. It's not like pointing out her habits and shit makes sense unless it's from Cassie or her dad's perspective. It's the "what would allow her to feel safe? What would allow her to start to trust Cassie's dad? What about trusting her fellow animatronics again? How shaken is that trust after everything that's happened? She trusts Cassie almost completely already, but how far can Cassie lead her before she stops following?" kind of questions that make it so interesting now, as well as a challenging thing to work with.

Roxy won't handle things the way Monty or Bonnie would. Even if they had the same situation happen to them, that just wouldn't be possible. She's got a completely different situation to them on her hands, with a different set of information to back it up due to the fact she was a part of the MXES security system. She's been impacted in such a way that it challenges every friendship she's ever had, except a very select few. How is she coping with that? How is she coping with it after she moves in with Cassie and her dad? How are they going to be able to support her in a way that will allow her the safe space she's needed for such a long time now? And how much will the Plex being in Ruins have effected all of this on top of that?

It's an awful lot of questions and working out to do. I'm glad that if I get far enough to write this, I won't have to spell it all out. Trust building isn't something that can just be said after all, that's something you can pretty much only show in actions. It's all fun to work out, if a bit difficult though. And when combined with the task of giving Roxy that childhood she deserves? Ohhhh yeah it's fun. A mixed bag of horrors and joys I love it.