#self control? i dont know her
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me to myself: you DONT need to rotoscopy a fig and the cig figs concert from an existing concert video, you dont need new projects, you should be writing, you want to draw acofaf GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF
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I love your series "Self Control? I don´t know her" and the way that you describe tarlos as dads. And I would love a new part, thank you for your amazing work. <3
PD: Sorry for the bad english,,,
you don't have to apologise! your English is great! besides, I can't speak anything OTHER than English so I'm always in awe of people who have mastered more than one language 💜
thank you for this kind ask - I'm not sure when or if I will continue that series, partially because the canon is exploring the question of kids now (whether Carlos wants them at all) and I'm kind of curious to see how it evolves! but also because I have like 5 projects on the go right now (mostly for RWRB) and I'm struggling to finish anything 💀
THAT BEING SAID I love hearing peoples theories on what happens next for Isabel and Hugo and I do love the little OCs I created - their personalities are so chaotic and I'll never say never to exploring that world again 💜
thank you so much for the ask. I really appreciate you!
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"I don't feel in control sometimes. After all... I have someone else's thoughts in my head."
more edits || character page || x.x
Tag list (ask to be added or removed): @carrionsflower @statichvm @risingsh0t @simonxriley @tommyarashikage @sevikagf @confidentandgood @unholymilf @florbelles @thedeadthree @shellibisshe @roofgeese @aezyrraeshh @faerune @tekehu @jackiesarch @minaharkers @sergeiravenov @carlosoliveiraa @rosenfey @nokstella @queennymeria @heroofpenamstan @tethrras @viktorgf @d-esmond @solasan @bigbywlf @delzinrowe @fenharel @imogenkol
#oc stats*#oc: jody morse#my edits#my ocs#mcu oc#marvel oc#spiderman oc#marvel#spiderman#a belated edit for this bby!#do NOT read her bio its v outdated#ive developed her sm since writing that#shes completely different now#and her abilities are based on a chip implant to fix her 'clumsiness'#but someone hacked the chip and now makes her do bad things#like rob banks and steal $3million...#she wanted to fix her stability yet ended up being able to control her body on a molecular level#so day to day shes her normal coy self#but shes suddenly more confident and outgoing#so he mates see the change#but think shes just coming out of her shell#they dont know shes a criminals puppet/a criminal herself#i mean she does end up liking doing it all#but she knows it wrong#she uses the money to support her family#they just think shes doing well with work#little do they know tehe#anywayyyyy theres only 1 more oc to get an edit like this!#but thatll be posted in jan#i hope you like it!!
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Concept sketch of my new JJBA self insert and her stand, BellaDonna (who will eventually be known as Madonna). Inspired by the song 'Like a Prayer' by...well, Madonna! @sapphire-heart-tippy
(lore dump under the cut, TW for mentions of animal injury and religious trauma)
My self insert (who will also go by Jane) grew up in a deeply religious family and tried to be a good jehovah's witness child that made her parents proud.
One day, she comes up with the power to heal various injuries and ailments, almost to the point of being able to revive the dead. She figures she's given this power by the lord himself and vows to do good with it, but when she's found using them to heal a bird that had been wounded by a cat, her mother falls into hysterics thinking that she MUST be possessed by the devil to have such abilities.
She's punished and shunned by her community while her mother prays for a cure and though she tries to repent her power doesn't seem to go away, so eventually her mother snaps and drags her into the wilderness and attempts to throw her to the bottom of an old well.
Her Stand, which had previously not manifested physically, appears then to cushion her fall and eventually she manages to pull herself out of the well with her Stand's help, who she now believes to be a guardian angel. But not wanting to return home, she runs away to face the world alone, growing jaded and bitter over time. She loses all of her faith, and the power to heal inverts itself, becoming a sort of poison. Something that LEECHES life, rather than heal it.
When she's an adult (my age irl so 25 I guess) she's made her way by becomes a bounty hunter/assassin using her Stand and eventually catches the attention of Dio. Who takes her in and explains to her what her Stand REALLY is, promising to teach her how to properly wield those powers if she agrees to serve him. She reluctantly takes his offer, but starts to see him as a familial figure, since no one else had ever tried to nurture or even accept her gift. Dio is the one who giver her Stand the name BellaDonna, after the deadly plant!
#artfarts#self insert#self ship#self insert art#jojo self insert#jojo oc#jjba#jjba oc#jjba part 3#stardust crusaders#jojo's bizarre adventure#and of course wehehehe she meets polnareff and they eventually get together!!#so...i actually kinda forgot that polnareff actually ALSO starts off as an agent of dio 😂😂 with the mind control thing#idk just HOW influential the buds can be. he seems to retain his personality and it just sorta...dictates his morality#and also does whatever dio says. so when he DOES get mind probed by dio my s/i is already his agent#and what im saying is even when they meet THEN hes flirty as hell and immediately interested in her#cause OFC he is thats his personality 😂😂 its his nature hes french#and ofc we know he gets the bud removed and he joins the main cast so im trying to figure out how jane fits in!!#i definitely dont think she joins or turns immediately#i think they capture her first to CHECK for a bud and when they dont find it theyre like...well what now#pol wont let them kill her so they just sorta drag her along and over time she starts to have a change of heart#i think she expects dio to send someone after her or to save her himself but when other agents keep coming and trying to kill her TOO#she realizes he never really cared about her at all#blah blah angsty stuff aside she starts seeing who polnareff truly is and starts falling for him too!!#ok ive rambled enough here if u read all of this mwah im kissing ur forehead 🫶🫶🫶#🩶 just like a prayer 🩶
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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
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black friday sale- 30% OFF your VERY OWN AquaBot Kitty Edition! ™️
Only this weekend! Hurry and grab yours TODAY!
>https://tokyomiracle.net/<
(this is a silly craft I did back in october! I thought posting her for a fake black friday ad would be funny :3 she's about 6 inches tall! I have the full process of making her posted on kofi for members, if you'd like to see, the link to my kofi is in my pinned post ^_^)
#this might be the silliest thing ive done to advertise this comic LMAO#aqua i would never actually sell u u are priceless to me.#toy customization#toyblr#custom toys#aqua shirogane#tm2#webcomics#tokyo miracle#traditional art#crafts#?? unsure how to tag this i dont post my irl crafts too much actually!!#I Should do that more often!#something not featured: she is in fact remote controlled and can walk- dance- do handstands- and meow.#im not joking and i might film a video of it for ig ashdfk#its pretty darn cute#at some point id like to buy glow in the dark paint to make her eyes actually glow at night#but for this i was mostly using what I already had (toy base aside)#and im sure for pink and blue glow in the dark paints id have to look online instead of just running to the store#which is annoying#of course this is being queued in early october so i might have already done it by the time this releases#it will also be an easter egg on the dress up game#which should also be coming out the week this is queued for unless something just went very wrong and i lost all self disipline#or all my technology explodes. who knows what could happen!!#i hope that doenst happen but who knows!!
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> Dies
> comes back wrong
> Dies again
> Comes back RIGHT this time. Turns out comming back wrong was actually the much needed push for them to not only put there needs first and understand there own inherent worth but also to find what they really want in life and broaden there horizons.
#dungeon meshi spoilers#do u think about her bec i think about her all the time#like the fact that she was content living quietly and being treated as an outcast or a savior for her whole life#until finnaly she died and was brought back and was HUNGRY#still her genuinely kind caring self but know with a single goal beyond her control (and a an animalistic amount of power)#and suddenly it was like oh right i can be my own person#i dont really need to fit other peoples interpretations of me i can go out and adventure on my own#and she did#and i think about that alot#spoilers
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I know, the more I think about this, the more I want to write it 😩 I have so many wips but I'm definitely getting this down into an outline at the least 👀
Well, you asked so nicely, darling.
Imagine it.
FWB Nanamin coming home at the end of a long, long day. His brain is mush but his body still wants to go, go, go. He thought he was at his apartment but he ended up at yours. You don't even live in the same apartment complex.
He hardly realizes what he's done until his mouth is on yours and hands are grabbing desperately to remove whatever clothing you both can until you get to the bedroom. When did his life get this complicated? He hated complicated.
But gods, does he love you.
You're like reading my mind today cause I've been thinking about fwb!Nanami too and oof I want it!!!! I love love love this I ramble but it ties in at the end I swear hehe
Can you imagine starting a fwb with Nanami because you're coworkers at the office? He didn't really understand why people would have that kind of relationship (or perhaps lack thereof) and especially didn't understand how they could sleep with their coworker, both in a professional mindset as well as just general ew-coworkers mindset. Until he meets you.
You're attractive, he's not stupid enough to deny that. He always thrills a little when he gets to work with you, but doesn't think anything else of it and definitely doesn't try to pursue anything. There's just always a tension between you two thats charged but not too uncomfortable.
But one day he has the worst meeting, absolutely infuriating. Work has been getting more and more stressful but this was the final piece, and it's when you two are the last ones in the office that he loses himself in you for stress relief. It's ridiculous how good it felt, how satisfied you both are afterwards. So it becomes a thing, using each other for stress relief from your shitty work. When you're not there, it's definitely like a hole in his heart, but he tries to convince himself it's nothing more than it is.
But for sure, something in him snaps silently, but snaps altogether one day. He's supposed to be heading home but goes to your place instead; he can't believe he even remembers where it is after bringing you home once when you couldn't quite walk after a little relief fuck session~
He can tell when he kisses you so deeply and needily that he's needing you for more than stress relief. But he'll have to think on that later, after he's fulfilled his need to have you under him 💜
#self control? i dont know her#mmm maybe i could tie this in to the possessive nanami fic i was working on#˗ˏˋ꒰ minx replies ꒱
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white no-face floride calhoun. Heaven would not have been prepared
#GOD FORBID A WOMAN DO ANYTHING!!!#tcgf au#since her weakass good for nothing cousin cant be relied on to CUT with a SHARP KNIFE#elbowing jcc out of the way to take the position of Empire toppling inexorable agent of destruction. just girly thangz#you know she and jcc have the same control impulse but she has much less self deception. she knows what she is.#she keeps getting HCs invitations to Ghost King Conferences in her heaven official mail. he knows. she resents this#this is me trying a dusty vacuum background style. i dont think i hit it out of the park but it was a fun experiment
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"you were born evil" but you still named her agatha.
thinking about that process, because it took 18 years right. you have a baby and you call her good and she turns out to be smarter than you, more powerful than you, and it scares you, you dont know how to handle that especially in a world that hates you and her already. the things about her that scare you, will scare the outside world who understands even less than you do ten times more. you dont know how to protect her so you try to control her which is like number one bad idea human response to things that scare us.
obviously this backfires and she gets even more furious in her quest for knowledge, every door you close she finds a window, every place you warn away from she gets into, talking to people she shouldnt be talking to, trying out magic she shouldnt be trying. every step she takes is one further out of your control, further out of anyone's control, every new thing she learns makes her dangerous, puts her in danger, puts your coven in danger, shes exposing all of you along with herself. shes in danger, shes a danger, shes a teenager and she knows more than you, of course shes not gonna listen to you anymore, about anything. of course shes not gonna hear a warning, and if she did she wouldnt take it, just to spite you.
what are you gonna do? youre not the only one whos scared. of her, for her. youve got an entire coven getting panicky about the way shes exposing all of you, the risks shes taking that she may or may not be able to fully understand (maybe shes never seen one of you burned before, maybe shes her own first). and if she were on her own that would be her decision to make, but you are still responsible for your coven and you are responsible for her, for her safety and for the threat she poses. so what do you do? do you even have a choice? or is this just where the mob turns. kick a scapegoat onto a pyre and hope fortune turns for the rest of us. if she cant stick to the rules in place for the safety of all, then shes a ticking timebomb. if it's not her at the stake, sooner or later it's all of you. so what can you do? what are you expected to do?
punish agatha.
#dont remember who i saw say it but when agatha is recruiting sharon and she pauses for a moment before going yoohoo#making peace with the fact that shes definitely most likely gonna kill this lady along with the witches#*points at her mother here*#anyway i dont know what the fuck like went on this is just one version#but im thinking of her ghost and like 'emotion ties them to this plane' like yeAH NO SHIT fhkjhgkj#the amount of emotion that mustve been going on here#i imagine there must have been a lot of self-convincing before her mother got to this point#i imagine there werent a lot of choices and she was kind of backed into a corner and she just had to find every reason to make this possibl#to be able to do THIS#thats the only way right?#she seems to be the leader. idk if covens have leaders maybe shes just leading here bc it's her daughter thats on trial#or maybe agatha just gets it from her mother#but like if she hadnt gone first then maybe the coven wouldve done this ANYWAY without her right?#and then she'd have lost control of the coven. maybe kicked out. her daughter would be killed either way like#idk if she considered taking agatha and fleeing just the two of them. if she rejected that as too dangerous. safety in numbers#they'd get killed if it was just the two of them#or if she never even considered it. i do get a sort of.....conforming vibe from her. which isnt weird bc standing out or losing community#is p dangerous right in the environment they live here#im more inclined to imagine her trying to teach agatha to just like. shut up. hide. conform. dont stand out. whatever you do DONT push the#boundaries#bc if you end up outside of them youre fucking toast#i can imagine that more as her attempted strategy than running off with agatha#but like obviously that wouldnt work bc agatha wants to push boundaries she wants to push boundaries so bad#i get a feeling she wants to push boundaries like the doctor wants to press buttons#yaz voice: you'd hit a hornets nest just to see what happens
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what's the word for a best friend but like the kind that drains all your energy if you have to interact with them
#just got off the phone w my bsf of 5+ years and its like#you get me like no one else but idek who u are anymore and this relationship doesnt really serve me anymore#but thats not a reason to throw out 5+ years of just getting each other and that special connection we have#idk#phone call totally drained me and now im laying here upset like she said smth to me otp to hurt my feelings#she said smth to me the other day that triggered my ed#she thinks shes the only one with issues like im glad you can joke about your eating disorder but like bear in mind that i ALSO have one!#which you know about because it was something we bonded over when we met#and you dont know how my eating disorder is going because you dont listen when i talk. so i have stopped talking.#but it isnt going great! and when you brag about how skinny you are because of this or that#and complain about how you genuinely hate people who “lack the self control to be anorexic”#that harms me mentally#and you dont care because you arent joking#i recently got my christmas gift from her#which took a while to get me because she ordered it on christmas eve. and then kept forgetting to give it to me once it arrived#but she literally used the gift that she bought me and told me when she gave it to me like huh !!!#and i wasnt even upset about this when she told me because if she had asked i would have let her#but i told my mom and sister and they were soooo mad. and then i was like wait maybe thats weird#like i can understand that what she did was socially unacceptable but i didnt mind because it was her yk like thats my bsf. but now im upse#AND THE OTHER DAY i told her i dont read much fanfiction and she was like#well thats because you arent autistic so u dont know what its-#-like to be consumed by an interest/hyperfixation and have to consume every form of media associated with it#like YES I DO !!! all of my friends autistic or not think im autistic except for her#its this weird dynamic in her head where im the token neurotypical to her token autistic like idk if she just likes being the only autistic#but i feel like im so clearly autistic because idk how to mask. not that im trying to make this a “whos more autistic” contest but like#i think she likes being the manic pixie autistic chick and its so weird but im not diagnosed so im not gonna go to bat on that one w her#whenever i tell my roommate about things my bsf does my roommate is always like “im scared of her” or “real friends dont act like that”#and its always a reality check because i dont think twice when she treats me like that#but the people in my life are starting to hate her lowkey....#my mom was deadass like wow i dont think shes a good friend
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Arlecchino discourse is really awkward because both sides are so convinced they are right and that the other side just lacks media literacy but 9 times out of 10 the take in question is also wrong and it leaves me scratching my head a little bit….
#fuzzy rambles#like either they are like ‘no she is bad and doesnt care for the kids at all’ or its ‘she is good actually and does care for the kids’#and for me its like… damn…. its actually a little more complicated than that but ok ig#saw someone say she doesnt care for freminet or lynette she just uses them as pawns for lyney to be her heir#which is so incorrect on almost every level#it’s basically a self report that they dont know freminet or lynettes relationship with arlecchino#like i think we can agree raising child solider is problematic or whatever while not painting everything she does as master manipulation#like the things ppl claim are just her 5000 level iq manipulation… rolling my eyes it doesnt even make sense#but at the same time she obviously isnt a saint who has everyones best interests in mind because they are still childe soliders#even tho things got better when she took control there is still a lot of cultish and cruel behaviors the kids get drilled into them#tho honestly the whole fatui is like that look at any of the recurits who arent from the orphanage and they are equally brainwashed#if not us than who or whatever (girl who thinks about what happened in the chasm and want to eat drywall)#idk. dont yall have parents? like u can love and care for a child and still suck as a parent#you can try to not become ur abusive mother and still turn into a monster of sorts#ignore the childe instead of child its literally muscle memory how embarrassing
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#its sort of funny. i think my medication is working pretty well. i feel stable in a way i never really have before#is it the dopamine stablizer or is it my ion channels? whos to say. it doesn't matter. but it also doesnt change some things#the ways i think and react negativly to change. but it makes it easier to deal with. i still experience this strange dispaire on the#weekends or anytime im not working. i think the oddest thing is thst i dont think ive ever been this consistenly sad#not in a depressed sort of way. just a passing thoughts make me tear up sort of way. it doesnt feel out of control. it just feels like a#prelude to grief i guess. bc my mum is still in the hospital and its so hard to kno what that means from halfway across the country#my sisters are both home right now. they both live within 3hrs of where we grew up. one sister lives in the city my mom goes to for#treatment. so they have the opportunity to see her more than me. i dunno if they do tho. we dont really talk. i dont kno if they're as sad#as i am. if im overreacting bc i cant physically see what's happening. what the feeling is in the room. not that she would probably complain#shes the suffer in silence type. my dad keeps texting us pics of our shitty lil sunroom that hes redoing#to make my mum a lil sanctuary. he must be sad too. its his wife. hes staying with her in the hospital rn. i dunno its so weird#when i talk to my counselor she assumes i find out info thru calls or talk to my sisters abt it and i gotta b like nah we dont really talk#i get my info thru text. i havent talked to my parents on the phone in like a month. i dunno we just dont talk. so i dont kno how to reach#out and be like yo so whats up? shoulf i plan on coming home this summer for a bit?? like???#this is the disadvantage of leaving thr place where you grew up. probably when i finish my phd i should move closer to home#somewhere in the Appalachian mountains maybe. somewere in the eastern deciduous forrest. somewhere with thunderstorms.#but thats years from now. who knows what ill b doing. for now im just sad and tired and i dont quite kno what to do in the short or long#term bc im feeling the weight of my mental limitations rather intensely. but maybe im just being self limiting#whatever. i dont have a dead mum yet. shes not even on hospice care. things are just uncertain and dont look so hot#i just dont see how it can get better from here when chemo gave her secondary blood cancer and shes still full of tumors#i dont think im being that dramatic. it just objectively seems not great for survival#unrelated
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Ohhhh I hate greys anatomy they're all SO. HORRIBLE.
#this is my second watch of it#and let me just say that im noticing so much more the second time#mainly how awful burke and derek are#YOU MET A GIRL IN A BAR AND YOU TELL YOUR GRIEVING GIRLFRIEND THAT THAT WAS THE HIGHLIGHT OF YOUR WEEK?? GO FUCK YOURSELF#OFC SHES NOT PEPPY AND HAPPY SHE JUST LOST HER SECOND MOTHER FIGURE AND HER FATHER THAT SHE WAS JUST#STARTING TO REBUILD HER RELATIONSHIP WITH BLAMES HER FOR SAID MOTHER FIGURES DEATH AND SLAPPED HER#AND THEN PROCEEDED TO COME TO HER JOB TO HARASS HER AND YELL ABOUT HOW SHES NOT ALLOWED AT THE FUNERAL#OFC SHES NOT HAPPY#WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO OTHER GIRLS AT THE BAR? WHY WOULD YOU TELL HER THAT THAT WAS THE HIGHLIGHT OF YOUR WEEK??? SHE IS GRIEVING#SHE IS GRIEVING AND YOU ARE ACTING LIKE ITS HER FAULT THAT YOURE UNHAPPY YOURE ACTING LIKE ITS HER FAULT SHES NOT HER USUAL SELF#YOU ARE THE WORST KIND OF MAN#YOU ARE THE WORST KIND OF PERSON#I HATE DEREK SHEPARD WITH A FUCKING PASSION#HES SUCH A GASLIGHTY ASSHOLE#and dont get me STARTED on Burke#YOU ARE DOING EVERYTHING IN YOUR POWER TO FORCE CHRISTINA TO CHANGE#YOU KNOW SHE DOESNT WANT THIS WEDDING BUT YOURE FORCING IT ON HER ANYWAYS BECAUSE IT MAKES YOU HAPPY AND BECAUSE YOU INSIST#THAT WHENEVER YOU FORCE THINGS ON HER SHE ENDS UP HAPPY EVENTUALLY#EVEN THOUGH THATS NOT TRUE AND YOURE JUST CONTROLLING AND HAVE NO RESPECT FOR HER#ALSO YOUR MOTHER IS IN LOVE WITH YOU AND ITS DISGUSTING#AND YOU BOTH WANT CHRISTINA TO GIVE UP BEING A SURGEON WHEN YOU GET MARRIED?? GO FUCK YOURSELVES#YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO RESPECT FOR HER#and dont get me started on thw way burke and all of christinas friends acted when that professor showed up#fake ass friends#HE LITERALLY SEXUALLY HARASSED HER IN FRONT OF ALL OF YOU AND YOU DID NOTHING#YOU THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY#IT WAS NOT#i think that christina should be allowed to kill everyone in seattle grace hospital#i could say so much more about it tbh#greys anatomy
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i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao
#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her#and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that#bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control#AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern#which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have#become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and#then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see#the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then#immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now#hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him#she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women#bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely#fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are#capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the#like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond#or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to#feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe#months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time#its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like#there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she#wouldnt show up and ive been right each time#like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at#them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all#anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it#and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy#and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way#its just AUSHD AUGH#anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore
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Guess who's saying this and who it's directed at. The answer is right no matter who you pick you've been bamboozled, you've been tricked, duped dare I say. It's the classic swindle and you've fallen for it, a silly jape if you will, a devious little scheme, an evil-
#the formatting looks VERY weird on my end but maybe it'll be fine in post#uhhh#bonus#i dont remember my own tags okay#the urge to post every single funny thing i've written for the chapter#vs the urge to just not spoil#there are two wolves inside of me each battling for control#there is also a secret third wolf but we dont talk about her#posts made by rae#posts made by bees#gee what a surprise the author is posting blurbs of the newest chapter and not the beta reader#spapph does not like to spoil themselves ahead of time so they exhibit far more self control than i could ever muster#have a complete walkthrough of the game open theres five more minutes i have to cover for this chapter because there is a very specific spo#i want to stop at woah i did not know there was a limit#my ability to talk in the tags#im being stifled#silenced#a third word#oh shoot i gotta go
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