#seen a lot of gross behavior this past year

[scoobypineapple]

Putting this out here, even if I’m not the most influential person on Scooby tumblr, let alone the fandom at large: stop bullying.

None of you are above common decency no matter your status as a creator, no matter your opinions. This sort of vitriol should not be present in our community.

[2smolbeans]

Ride or Die

"Remembering the past"

(Yan ceos x runaway darlings)

A/n: Dark content ahead, reader has a flashback of before they escaped, reader and April (another darling victim) bond together, possible stockholm syndrome

Tag list: @naogostodepaodealho69

Part 1 (The beginning and summary)

Related/Connected post

Masterlist

_________________________

Humiliation, disgust - his lips were on your skin, sending those horrible spikes in your body. It felt gross, his hands felt slimy, and you so badly wanted to push him off to give your body a break from all those unpleasant feelings. But you continued playing along, kissing him back and indulging in his wants.

Just this once, just this once. You'd tell yourself. Do it for them. Do it for the sweet promise of escaping.

You wrap your arms around his neck, and he grabs your hips in response. You'd be a liar if you said you didn't enjoy some part of this, if you didn't enjoy being wanted desperately by an attractive wealthy man - your former ex, your first love. You hated this. The situation was disgusting- yet it didn't take a lot of mental gymnastics to make yourself enjoy the moment.

Maybe you would've fully enjoyed it if the circumstances were different. Maybe in another life, the two of you just met again for the first time in years in a cafe out of some pure considence. He'd tell you what had happened after high school, and you'd do the same. Then, while walking around the city, he'd bring up the elephant in the room.. How he treated you in high school when the two of you dated. He'd apologize, feeling embarrassed and ashamed for his stupid behavior from back then. He'd look at you with those beautiful crimson eyes, owning up to his psychotic behavior - "I'm sorry for how I was. I should've never done that. "You had every right to yell at me. " Then, next thing you knew, you were at his apartment, getting things heated. For a split second when you closed your eyes, you could imagine it. You were here willingly, everything was normal, and he was normal. But of course, you wouldn't have things your way as that sweet illusion broke when he whispered those sickly annoying mantras. "You're mine, I need you" "Please please please please please-" "I'll fucking snap your neck if you don't say it"

He wasn't normal. This wasn't normal. And you're reminded of how badly you needed out. But thankfully, that wasn't the case anymore. You look around, and you see the fruits of your labor. You weren’t in that god-awful marble walled house, Marco wasn't anywhere to be seen, and best of all- you had your own goddamn room that wasn't littered with cameras. You lazily scroll through your phone, minding your own buisness while your fellow roommate and escapee did their own thing. "Hey, could you do the dishes?" You groan, not wanting to move from your spot. "Come on! I've been doing it for the past few days. Please?" Whining, you roll off the couch and head to the kitchen. You look in the sink, okay, there's not much to do. You mindlessly scrub and put whatever cutlery and flatware that is washed on the dish rack. You're on autopilot as your mind blanks out due to your lethargic state from brain rotting on your phone.

Smash

You look in the sink and see the little shards that litter in it. Picking up the shards, you kiss your teeth in disappointment. Pick, pick, pick, you put the shards in the garbage. Blood trickles down the meaty part of your thumb. You should've really-

-

He's talking, and you have your back turned against him. He seems happy and hopeful with whatever delusional rant he's going on. You listen to the water running, drowning out his voice. The clattering of porcelain dishes canceled out his presence, the loud clinking noises easing you. Though sadly, no matter what you use around your environment to escape reality, Marco always had a way of bursting your bubble. "What..you.. kids?" You freeze, your chest twisting. Your body doesn't dare move a muscle. "What was that?" He peeped a happy response. "What do you think about having kids?" You go rigid, your hands shaking. "I..I dunno. I don't care for them. " "Really?" You laugh, a hint of bitterness starting to seep in. "Why? Do you want kids?" "I mean-" "Then absolutely fucking not." He exasperates, whining as he takes a step closer to you, his large form casting a shadow over you. "Why not?" You bite your tongue, trying to conceal that bubbling feeling inside you. He keeps pushing you further to that edge as he keeps talking, his gentle tone that grated against your ears that tried so desperately to agree with him. You barely listen to what he's saying, but you can hear those words vigorously invading you. "children, family, love"

Your hands that grip the plate begin to feel light, and without registering, you snap.

CRASH

You start screaming at the top of your lungs, your voice vibrating the luxurious walls, your hands flailing around with the now broken shard held in your hand. "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! YOU WANT KIDS?!" You see red, the adrenaline is pumping in your veins, and you're beyond reasoning. You start throwing things at him, loud sounds of cutlery and dishes scattering the floor. Your words are harsh and cruel, uncaring of the consequences that would follow after. You violently sob, your body racking with trembles as you defeatingly go slack against the kitchen counter. You're gasping for air as you cry, sniffling as you confess your feelings.

You forgot what you said. It was the heat of the moment. So when he looked at you, you were already crying harder with fear - preparing for the worst. But to your surprise, he looked guilty, like he was finally aware of his actions, like he wasn't stupidly delusional like he always was. He reaches his hand out to you, and you don't bother fighting him. He sighs, your distraught taking a toll on him. Marco wrapped his arms around your body, letting you sink into the floor with him. He's hugging you, and you can't help but hug him back, feeling his warmth envelope you. You cry, you hate him - and all he can do is acknowledge it as he lets you sob into his chest.

-

Blood fades away with the water. You look at your thumb and dry it with a paper towel - blood staining the white sheet. Finding a bandaid, you place it on the cut. "You found it?" "Yeah.. Also really? Hello kitty?" "Whaatt? They were cheap" "April just admit you have an obsession" "Whatever" You roll your eyes as your roommate continues to draw on his sketch book on the dinner table. You look at the cute pink bandaid that was on your thumb. Looking at your roommate, you decide to join him as you sit across from him. "Whatcha drawing?" "Stuff. " "Can I see?" He eyes you for a moment, putting his sketchbook to his chest. "Come on, I won't judge you.. With whatever weird shit you're drawing," he scoffs, showing you the page he was working on.

You look at the page and admire it. There's multiple angles, different colors, all drawn with attention. 'Paige Nieman' was written at the bottom of the page. "Who's this?" His lips thin as he avoids your eyes for a split second. "Uhh, just someone I used to know," he pauses again, clearly uncomfortable. "She wasn't just that, but I don't know. I don't really.." "Hey it's okay. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to" he sits there, clearly ashamed and wanting to take back his words. "Nono it's okay. It's just..Do you mind?" "Dude of fucking course not! I'm here for you okay?" He takes in a deep breath, trying to control himself as he looks around the room- trying to soothe himself. "Paige was my girlfriend. She would've been my fiancee.." You furrow your brows, giving April your attention. You wait for him to continue speaking, but he doesn't. You don't want to push him further, so you don't say another word. You can see him biting his tongue, clearly on the verge of crying as he looks away with his wet eyes. "Hey man..It's okay.." you stand up from your seat, grabbing a tissue box from the living room. Wiping his tears he thanks you. You sit in a moment of silence, both of you having thoughts in your mind.

"Do you ever think of having kids?"

April looks at you, completely confused but amused at your question. The question was so random, and out of all people, YOU were the one asking it.

"Uhhh..Well, sorry what?"

"Just answer it"

"Are you being serious orrrr"

"Completely genuine"

"Alright then..."

He smiles, playing with the used tissue in his hand. He imagines the scenario. It's something he always looked fond at.

"Yeah..I've always wanted to be a dad. I always thought of how I'd raise them, what colors to paint the room.."

You hum in response, listening with interest.

"Yeah?"

"Two kids. I always wanted two. May and June..Because after April is May..And after May is June"

You're in awe as you hear his corny confession. He looks at you, waiting for your turn to answer the question.

"What about you?"

"Me? Well..To be honest I never thought of it. But after..Him.."

His name feels like a forbidden curse that you don't want to remember. You swallow as the thought of him begins to emerge in your head. You look back at April, trying to evade Marco out of your mind.

"I never figured it out. To be honest.. I hate him, but by God, does he make it hard for it to stay that way. I-It..It's fucked up, it really is. I probably need to go to therapy, or doctor Phil to be honest"

He smiles at your witty joke, putting a hand on his chin while you continue.

"But..He can be so sweet, he can be good..He's everything that anyone wants in a guy.."

Your mind thinks of Marco's smile, his willingness to help strangers, his humble nature. You think of all the tooth rotting moments and attractive parts about Marco you miss.

"But it can only make up for so much..Maybe if things were different..Maybe in another life I would've considered having kids.. But now.."

You're reminded of his unhinged behavior; The day he kidnapped and drugged you, the day he forced his hand in marriage, the ways he kept you trapped and leashed like a dog..The moment he stripped you from a normal life.

"I don't think I could ever have anything anymore."

You have both arms on the table. Your eyes staring blanking at the wood. April looks at you, knowing he shares the same mutual feeling as you. His voice is low and gentle, causing you to shift your eyes towards his.

"Do you still miss him?"

You feel the frustration inside of you as you cringe.

"Yeah..."

.

.

____________________________

[tigertofu]

ok i've been chipping away at this Thing for a long time and i think it's finally ready to be vomitted out into the internet. without further ado, here is my

Stupid-Long List of Trevor Headcanons

divided into chronological sections !

((the NSFW shit is hiding at the bottom))

CW's for: mentions of drugs/alcohol, addiction, cannibalism, violence, gross sex stuff. typical Trevor things

and heres a gif of him cuz ig thats the tumblr thing to do idk i never made one of these lists b4 :x

the past

• he's a scorpio and the reason he has a scorpion tat on his hand is bc he's like. very mildly into horoscopes. he was born some time in november

• he doesn't have a middle name cuz his mom didn't give enough of a shit to give him one

• despite playing hockey and golf as a kid, he was never really that into the sports themselves. he only did hockey because he saw it as a way to beat up other children and not get reprimanded for it, and he did both in the hopes of being good enough at something to earn his mother's praise for once (it did not work :()

• hates his dad bc of how he treated his mom and is glad he abandoned him at that shopping mall when he was a kid

• he (w/ Brad's help) would play "pranks" on (aka BULLY) poor Lester during the north yankton days. some fav pastimes included (but were not limited to): pantsing him, hiding his walking cane, and replacing his asthma medication with laughing gas

• was highkey jealous of how easy Michael could get girls during the north yankton days. when he actually was able to convince a girl to come back home with him, he would make sure to be loud as hell about it so that Mike would know he wasn't the only one getting chicks

• all of his hand tats and a lot of his other tats were done in prison, even tho he was only in for like 6 months

• prison was a mixed bag for him. on one hand, anal. on the other, having to restrain himself from arguments and physical altercations so he could get out early on good behavior

• went thru a breakdancing phase in the 90's (i THINK this one might be canon. idk. could've sworn i've heard him try to tell Lamar this in an attempt to impress him. pls feel free to prove me wrong or right)

• one of the scars on his eyebrows is actually the result of getting a fresh eyebrow piercing ripped tf out during a barfight in the 00's. prob for the best that it was cuz we all know that shit wouldve ended up getting infected and rejecting out of his face anyways

• he moved to Sandy Shores not just because it's nice and isolated, but because it was the place most opposite of north yankton he could think of. never any snow. he absolutely fucking hates cold weather and snow because it reminds him of a certain bank heist that happened in '04

• between Ron, Chef, and Wade, Chef was the first one he met after moving to Sandy Shores. they used to cook meth together in a trailer out in the desert (another one that i THINK is canon but im not sure idk. it all blurs together, idk whats canon and whats not anymore, my brain is too rotted from spinning Trevor around in it like the world's most dried out little shriveled husk of a rotisserie chicken for the past three years, the fog is coming, yk how it is)

• he acquired Liquor Ace the same way he "acquired" the Vanilla Unicorn. the previous owner just mysteriously disappeared one day. nobody in Sandy Shores cared tho once word got around that the new owner was gonna start cooking crystal in the upstairs and selling it

• yk how in the game he said that his heart momentarily stopped once cuz he put an axe thru a power cable? he did that cuz the power had gone out in the middle of him watching an Impotent Rage episode he hadn't seen yet. for some reason (was prob very high and very angry) he thought that he could bring the power back by hitting the sparking wire with an axe. it didnt work. he smelled like overcooked bacon for a week afterwards. he enjoyed that part tho

the present

• he makes Ron cut his hair with a pair of rusty kitchen scissors when he needs a trim. he used to go to the nice barber lady in Sandy Shores but got banned after loudly moaning about how good her nails felt on his scalp once

• once smoked an entire cigarette in one long inhale. Wade witnessed this and found it extremely impressive

• he'll eat pretty much anything but he especially likes foods with strong flavors. salty, sour, super sweet, spicy, etc cuz his taste buds are SHOT from the years of smoking/drug abuse. he abuses condiments, especially hot sauce

• thinks that any restaurant that doesn't have a drive-thru is a "fancy" restaurant

• LOVES candy cuz the meth has given him a major sweet tooth, but prefers anything with chocolate over fruity/gummy candies

• has a weird fascination with eating raw meat.....of any kind. except for sushi. he thinks sushi is "fancy prissy city people food"

• also has a weird fascination with making stews/soups similar to the eyelid one that he tries to feed Michael in that one cutscene. it's the only type of food he knows how to cook. may be a comfort thing for him because microwaving a bowl of canned soup was the most effort his mother ever put into making a meal for him when he was a kid. and she did it like, twice, maybe. he for sure remembers both times very clearly tho and considers them to be some of his fondest memories

• will go for days without eating anything solid before finally sitting down and consuming enough food to feed a family of 5. sometimes he just like. forgets that eating is necessary for survival

• can open beer bottles with his teeth. between that and the meth habit, its an absolute miracle he still has all his teeth

• go-to pizza order is a large meat lover's. he tries to make vaguely sexual passes about "loving large meat" at the poor pizza delivery guys every time he orders delivery. does not tip, but will say shit like "hey, if you come inside i've got a little tip for ya" while the delivery guy quickly vacates the premises

• honestly? i think there is a good 50/50 chance on whether or not he is ACTUALLY a cannibal. maybe he posters as one cuz he likes the reactions it incites, maybe he genuinely enjoys the psychosexual intimacy of consuming the flesh of another human being........ who knows !! not knowing is half the fun :)

• ok ok hear me out u know that stupid tiktok sound that was going around a couple years ago that goes "hi my name is carmen winstead -- HAAAAAHHHGGCHH" ??? look it up if u don't cuz that's what his snoring sounds like. the fucking "HAAAAAHHHGGCHH"

• once he's asleep he is out like a fucking light. guy could sleep thru nuclear war

• is not opposed to drinking hand sanitizer when out of other sources of alcohol. it tastes just like the shitty moonshine Ron makes in his backyard anyways and gets him even drunker so why not !

• hates horror films bc they make him angry. at least, any of the ones where somebody survives at the end. thinks the murderers in them are stupid. starts yelling shit at the TV like "HE'S GETTING AWAY YOU STUPID FUCK,, WHAT ARE YOU DOING !!!!"

• believes baby pink and orange are "his colors"

• will sit on his sofa or bed and try to shoot any cockroaches scurrying around his place with a pistol for funsies when bored sometimes

• enjoys playing darts at the Yellow Jack with anyone who'll play him but absolutely fucking sucks at it cuz of his shaky hands. accidentally threw a dart into another bar patron's head once. will rage and insist his opponent cheated when he loses. will then get physical if anyone tries to tell him its impossible to cheat at darts. is much less of a sore loser when playing with Mike, Frank, or Lamar tho he will still grumble about losing for up to hours on end afterwards

• is an illegal immigrant bc he never became a US citizen. does not own an actual ID, but has several fakes lying around, all with fake birth dates and fake names that are wildly varying levels of believable

• will absolutely flip his fucking lid if Wade comes around him while wearing Juggalo face paint

• speaking of Wade. yk how he has a shitty tattoo of his own name on his arm? (at least i think he does. i tried looking to see if he does and i couldnt tell so now im unsure if thats just yet another detail that my brain completely made up or smth that i actually saw). ANYWAYS, Trevor gave it to him (stick n poke. it was a longggg process but Wade didnt mind too much cuz he was high at the time and consented to it beforehands anyways) when Trevor first "took him in" cuz he kept forgetting his name and got tired of referring to him as "Hey, you" (which Wade did not respond to most of the time anyways)

• is an ugly crier. like, a butt-ugly crier. snot, drooling, wailing, red face, the whole nine yards and he is loud as hell about it too

• loves back rubs cuz ofc he does he's an old man. often makes Ron or Wade give him massages

• his boomer-ass super-zoomed-in LifeInvader profile pic was taken by Ron. it took them a dozen tries before they got it

nsfw

• he sucks at eating out.........kinda? but what he lacks in precision and consistency he makes up for with sheer (sloppy. slobbery) passion. and endurance. can stay down there (and will, if you let him) for hours

• is not much better at blowing. "accidentally" uses too much teeth every time

• ~4 inches. MAYBE 4.5. good girth tho. not cut

• has a thing for chubby/thicc ppl

• is a biter and won't ask before biting so uhh watch out ! part of the reason for the above is bc there's more to bite

• loooooves loves loves to suck on things. fingers, necks, tits, dicks, anything. also looooooves having it reciprocated. particularly likes shoving his fingers in your mouth

• loves to involve mouths as much as possible. spitting/being spat on, the aforementioned biting as well as being bitten, eating food off of your body or having food eaten off of him, the type of makeout sessions that involve shoving each other's tongues down each other's throats.. anything that involves mouths and/or the motions of eating drives him fucking wild

• will beg you even when not explicitly told to when he's not feeling dominant. will beg and beg and beg and beg and it's hot but can also quickly become incredibly annoying

• but he LOVES to be annoying on purpose too. via the begging, or by teasing/edging, mocking, etc. loves to get a rise out of you and loves the attention (even if negative.. ESPECIALLY if negative) it gets him

• occasionally cries after sex. will expect you to hold him while he does. will start to angry cry and say you don't actually love him if you refuse

• now ik this one is nothing groundbreaking and seems to already be the general consensus amongst the Trevor enjoyers but im gonna say it anyways. he def has a thing for public/semi-public sex. be careful about sitting next to him while in any public space. he WILL try to touch on you and it WILL be in a way that makes it obvious to everyone in the immediate vicinity what's going on. does he do it on purpose as an exhibition thing? maybe...... does he genuinely think he's being slick about it? also maybe. if ur with him, expect to be banned from multiple establishments

• lowkey has a breeding kink in the sense that he loves to finish inside (not just bc it feels nice but also bc of the intimacy of it) and thinks that pregnant women are hot as hell

• is most likely infertile due to the years of meth use tho

• loves to both overstimulate and be overstimulated. just bc you've both climaxed doesnt mean he wont keep going for god-knows-how-long

..................andd that's all she (i) wrote. ty for reading !! i've got more shit to say about Trevor cuz ofc i do but this is already like 2k words so if u wanna hear my headcanons on anything specific at all,, pls do throw it in my ask box ! <33

[whatamessofthoughtswithjess]

Just some random thoughts I’d like to mention:

ADHD chaotic word vomit commencing in:

3……2…….1……. 💥

1. Fandoms can be extremely toxic. Like SCARY TOXIC! 🥴

2. PR Tours aren’t geared towards the established fans. PR tours are to engage new viewers. PR tours are created to sell the story being told. If you’ve got a romance show that’s trying to sell a story of “friends to lover’s” the PR tour will lean into the natural chemistry between the leads, they’ll create an atmosphere to enhance the chemistry, and they’ll use whatever techniques necessary in order to sell the story.. to bring in new audiences.

3. We all fell for the #Polin PR tour. Nicola and Luke have unsettling chemistry & Shondaland knew this as well. They also knew how much they could play off of their chemistry and bring in a large viewership. 2.3 billion minutes watched the first week alone? The PR tour paid off really well for them. I can’t even be mad at them at this point. You can’t say it wasn’t smart financially.. even if it was quite shitty to play with the hearts of Polin fans.

4. Luke and Antonia didn’t deserve the hate that was and continues to be thrown at them. They’ve been linked together for over a year now. He never hid her existence. The fandom chose to ignore her existence. That’s on the fans.. not Luke.

5. This one is going to piss a lot of folks off. Sorry not sorry. Luke Newton doesn’t owe the fandom anything. The “he has yet to claim her” comments are ridiculous. This man has been seen with her on multiple occasions, he has travelled with her, he’s been papped multiple times with her, he brought her to both Bridgerton premieres. That is claiming her. He doesn’t have to post her on his professional instagram just to appease his fans. He owes you nothing regarding his private life. Stop with the entitlement. It’s icky.

6. It’s never okay to bully anyone. Ever. The bullying against Antonia and now Jake Dunn is GROSS! It’s even more gross watching grown ass women bully a 23 year old young lady. It’s giving “I’m jealous” vibes. Do I like the way Antonia has acted towards the fans? No. She’s been a petty Betty at times.. however.. I can’t say I wouldn’t have been myself. That young woman has watched thousands of people publicly ship her man with his costar. She’s been bullied non stop & ridiculed for her body, her looks, her work, everything. I’d be acting a bit petty too if I were in her shoes. Grace is free & showing grace isn’t hard. She is human like the rest of us.

7. Now let’s talk about Nicola Coughlan and Jake Dunn. The absolute bullshit hate comments being left on Jake’s instagram are absolutely ridiculous. This man has done NOTHING WRONG except for crush any insane delulu you have in your mind. If you have something negative to say about this man? Do it in your private spaces & don’t take it to this man’s social media. Do you truly think Nicola will have any sort of respect for you by saying such hateful and nasty things to someone she clearly cares deeply for? Newsflash! She won’t. She’ll probably dislike you greatly for such vile behavior. Grow up. It’s legit that simple.

8. Like with Luke, Nicola owes you nothing regarding her personal life. Who she dates, spends her time with, chooses to love is no one’s concern but her own. She deserves to be able to live her life with who she wants and how she wants without fans acting the fool.

9. We don’t speculate on people’s sexuality. That’s gross behavior. That’s extremely disrespectful and invasive. Touch grass. Oh and did you know that you can tell your friends you love them without being gay? Shocking, right? Who knew? 😉

10. Stop. Full Stop. With stating your personal delulu opinions as facts. The biggest reason why this fandom is so toxic and drunk on delulu is because so many larger creators have planted false information in their minds as facts.. now they can’t see past the delulu & anything that goes against what they’ve convinced themselves of in their minds is false.. regardless of the receipts that are dangling in their faces. Please stop. It’s time to come back to reality.

11. Bullying one another for different opinions is TOXIC AF! There is no reason for people to be bullied off their own platforms because you don’t agree with their views. Take that toxic behavior right on out of here.

12. Colin Bridgerton is the BEST of the Bridgerton men.. apart from Edmund Bridgerton of course. You can’t convince me otherwise.

13. The best Bridgerton characters are as follows in this specific order:

Penelope Bridgerton

Lady Agatha Danbury

Queen Charlotte

I can’t be convinced otherwise. I stand by these choices.

14. Daniel Radcliffe will always be Harry Potter. I don’t care who they cast to play him in the new HBO Max series. Daniel is Harry. Point. Blank. Period.

15. Draco Malfoy deserved better.

16. Cats are the superior pet.

17. Shrimp is GROSS. You can’t change my mind.

18. I could have fixed Anakin Skywalker. 😅

19. Heck I could have fixed Kylo Ren too.

20. Pumpkin spice is trash. Apple cider is where it’s at. Fight me. 🍏🍎

Chaotic enough for you? I know it was for me. I’ve been wanting to get some of those thoughts out of my head. What better way to do that than here? Welcome to the asylum y’all. Enjoy the chaos! ✌🏻

[lonelybiscuits]

WARNING: spoilers ahead

I love winx club, but you wanna know what I love more—Sailor Moon. So I just want to take a moment and defend my girl chibiusa here😤 i feel like i see a lot of opinions about her, and want to be that “actually in the manga 🤓” nerd for a second. The 90s anime adaptation of Sailor Moon took some liberties and changed a lot, even if things didn’t necessarily make sense by today’s standards (ESPECIALLY if you watched the dub 💀) , but back to Sailor Chibi moon, is she annoying at times? Yes, she’s portrayed as a literal CHILD. Who else is a child in the timeline? Her mom Usagi/Sailor Moon. But NO ONE seems pressed about her bad behavior or poor choices she makes.

In the future, Chibiusa is the sole heiress, only child, of the Silver Millennium. But for some reason she doesn’t physically or mentally age for 900 years— she’s literally incapable n and no one knows how or why. Given who she is, everyone assumes something is wrong with her and she ends up ridiculed and severely isolated. So much so she’s basically goaded into stealing the legendary silver crystal. Upon taking it her home is literally destroyed and her mom is like encased in crystal.

So her being a child thinks to go back to the past to get sailor Moon to help save her parent and kingdom. She’s alone and terrified. It’s not just “oh boo she fell and her parents didn’t help her up” there’s more to it!

Black lady (a grown up version of chibiusa) is mentally and temperamentally altered by wiseman! And here come people blaming her— a literal child — for not being able to fight off the effects of the villain of this arc??? Agree to disagree with me, but Black lady is NOT a reflection of who chibiusa is as a character and should not be compared to her. She was hypnotized and brainwashed into thinking EVERYTHING and EVERYONE hates her and she needs to show them and kill them.

Now the scene where she falls and her parents tell her to get up on her own— also an altered memory! Wiseman altered it so that it would appear her parents despise her when it didn’t happen that way! It’s not her fault. Hell when she goes back to the palace as Black lady her parents to not acknowledge her as chibiusa and comprehend that their daughter has been fundamentally changed by a means of hypnosis.

I’m also gonna say it: a lot of people don’t understand the arc itself. Chibiusa a WHOLE arc is about GROWTH. Now unlike the anime that utilized her parents to get her out of the brainwashing, the manga uses Sailor Plutos DEATh. Her only friend DIED.

Now the weird tuxedo mask black lady kiss thing was already GROSS, but once again Black Lady is NOT equivalent to chibiusa. She , as Black Lady, was rubbing her power in sailor moon’s face, not sexually kissing him.

There is so much more I could stay on this, but all I gotta say is, if you haven’t seen the manga from the 90s, I heavily recommend that you do because it is so much different and provides a new perspective on what is happening.

Thank you for coming to my Tedtalk

[buckybarnesss]

Sending this on anon -

I think there is a latent amount of misogyny in the star wars fandom that people aren't ready to face lol.

Like there was so much hate for RebelCaptain and Bix x Cassian (MechanicThief? Bixian?) After andor, and we were called homophobic for 'not wanting to ship' the mlm ships, and I'm like???!! First of all multiplies exist, and second of all, complex, dramatic, well written ships also should exist!

And I'm now seeing the same pattern where it's encouraged to ship Din with the men, but not with the women

I think that a lot of fans really need to look within their consumption and see if they're really looking for representation, or for Ken dolls they can experiment with.

DinBo is so fascinating and I really can't wait to see how they develop

oh y'all want me to get spicy. i'm gonna put his under a read more.

i don't even think it's latent. the female characters receive an excessive amount of hatred or are pitted against each other. i've been in fandom spaces a long, long, long time so i know it's sadly nothing new but people have a hard time accepting that not all the misogyny comes from men.

there is no quarter for woman characters like jyn erso and bo-katan. they will never please. especially when they may have possible romantic relationships with the male leads.

i have thoughts on the shipping atmosphere for the mandalorian and it's not positive.

i am very much a ship and let ship person. i prefer to stay in my lane and enjoy what i enjoy. no harm no foul.

but i do find it -- shall we say interesting -- that bo-katan and din have a multiple episode arc where they develop a deeper understanding of each other overcoming their differences from when they first met but is met with the attitude of ew no cooties. it is fine to prefer a more sibling dynamic between the two but some have been really nasty about others shipping it romantically.

i didn't even really ship it at first but it's grown on me over the course of the season. they compliment each other and have a lot of protentional to explore.

it's one thing to not like a ship but i've seen a lot of language that i consider problematic and outright anti behavior of labeling something you don't like with dog whistles of incest, grooming, toxic and disgusting when it's in fact none of those things at all. just say you don't ship it and keep stepping.

like, the most popular din ship over the past two years has been dinluke which is a perfectly acceptable ship but in canon they've exchanged like a handful of words in one scene. it's fanon.

the armorer and bo-katan has become a popular ship which is again built on a few interactions.

but somehow din and bo are terrible, no good and gross.

we don't even have canon sexualities for these characters and headcanons are not canon. hell, i personally see din on the ace spectrum and bo makes sense to me as bi but that's my headcanon.

this is also not dean winchester being based of a bisexual character and fifteen years of evidence of subtext or stiles stilinski's bisexual baiting by jeff davis on teen wolf.

i get the desire for more lgbta+ representation in star wars but a heterosexual relationship existing is not your enemy and if you think it is than you are part of the problem.

[reallyprofoundkryptonite]

I always find it weird how people essentially handle Krogan and Eret as

“Oh Eret joined the dragon riders so he he’s good now!” And “Krogan never joined the dragon riders so he’s objectively evil and we should hate him.”

When in reality with the situation about Drago and whatnot, both Eret AND Krogan were in an abusive situation with Drago, and Krogan, was most likely in that situation far longer than Eret was anyways. Krogan was called “Drago’s Star Pupil” by VIGGO HIMSELF. (You know, everyone’s favorite villain.) and it leaves enough to state that Krogan was most likely a literal child when Drago got his hands on him.

The other things that I will point out is that if this is true, from what I remember, Drago is 55ish in httyd 2, and essentially that could hint at the fact that Krogan has been with Drago since Krogan was around five, which would make Drago 35.

My point is that, despite the fact that we’ve actively seen Krogan doing bad things, a lot of his actions can essentially and very easily be boiled down to just following orders, and the fear of being hurt by Drago. Eret clearly has PTSD (thanks @rodimus75leek for pointing that one out Btw) but if Eret has PTSD from Drago, then so does Krogan, especially since Krogan has suffered from twenty years worth of abuse from Drago.

The reason why Krogan NEVER thought to abandon Drago was because he most likely had Stockholm Syndrome, and/or he thought that he was desreving of the horrendous treatment that he was most likely subjected to at a young age because he thought it was normal for someone “Like Him” to be treated as nothing more than a tool.

Krogan’s behavior, underneath this thought process, is also completely understandable because that is how the human mind works. If faced with stress or threats, the human mind will force itself to DO AS TOLD, because like any animal, the survival of itself is far more important than the individual’s moral code. And this is a proven theory.

The fact that this is also a very complex thing, that can be scurried down to whatever is that whenever people are making jabs at Krogan, and then proceed to hold Viggo Grimborn up on a pedestal like he is better than Krogan in any way is also disgusting. Viggo isn’t better than Krogan. He’s worse, objectively.

No matter how you put it, pre redemption arc Viggo is not a sympathetic character. While he may have had trauma in his past, Viggo committed war crimes that broke the Geneva Convention on several occasions, such as going after civilians that were not involved in a war he was fighting, simply because they were allied with his current enemy.

Pre-Redemption arc Viggo Grimborn’s sole intention for dragon hunting, was for the money. He said it himself. He is not a monster, he is a businessman. He doesn’t see the things he’s doing out of pure greed as evil because at the end of the day, he was essentially the How to Train Your Dragon version of Elon Musk. A multibillionaire dragon hunting CEO who only cares about profits.

Going back to Krogan, the worst things he’s done on screen is the singetail breeding program (which you know, happens all the time with people breeding dogs irl), and the fact that Krogan killed someone on screen. Which guess what? VIGGO DID THAT TOO.

Calling Krogan evil, simply because he never reached out for help or sided with the dragon riders, is gross. It is victim blaming.

[aita-blorbos]

aita for being sensitive? I'll try to keep this short.

(oc)

I am very sensitive. I have a list down below, but if you're impatient, you can just skip to the next time the font is this size for convenience.

I don't eat much, but when I do, I have a very strict diet, one that a lot of people feel grossed out about. People call me a leech or a bloodsucker--this isn't necessarily true. I also have dietary restrictions: salt makes me feel very ill, and I can't have garlic, either. If seeds are involved, I usually end up counting them instead of actually eating (it's called arithmomania).

I am sensitive to sunlight and get sunburned very easily. I can't touch silver or cold iron because of sensory issues. I don't really like touching holy water or crosses either because of things that happened in the past--it makes me feel like I'm burning.

I have poor circulation that makes me feel cold to the touch, and makes me look kind of dead. I have more robust canines that I'm very self-conscious about--I feel like I can't see the real me in the mirror. I also have a fast metabolism.

I use a lot of more 'old fashioned' slang, and people keep making fun of me for it and my mannerisms. But surprisingly, though I feel nervous, I don't get physically anxious about their comments--I don't feel my heart beat much. I also have old fashioned objects--quills, Victorian nightgowns, books that haven't seen the light of day in a hundred years.

I have an affinity for bats, cats, frogs, and other creatures, and I get kind of upset when people say that that's too weird. And what's worse is that people keep treating me like a monster. I don't understand why. My friend keeps telling me not to attack, maim, or kill anyone.

I do have some upsides, though.

I'm very fast and strong. But even when I'm not, I've managed to survive some pretty whacky things. I heal relatively easy.

I have a hypnotic personality. I feel like I know what people are thinking, and I'm usually right.

I always know who's coming to greet me, and people can't sneak up on me easily. It's like I have almost...enhanced senses.

Here's where the problem really lies.

I met a really pretty girl, who we can call 'A' (idk her age) a while back, and I fell in love with her at first sight. We slowly grew closer, and closer, until we were inseparable. I was thinking about A one day, and I realized that I noticed some strange behaviors from her.

One night, I was in my backyard, and I saw an odd-looking wolf...turns out A's a werewolf. I still stayed with her and supported her, and I still love her so, so much.

Anyway, I was talking with A the other night, and I told her some things about myself, and she came up with the idea that I could be a vampire.

I don't think I am, but I do think that it's a big probability--I survived an attack a while ago from my ex (500F). I didn't tell her any of this, however; I told her that that would be insane, and that would never happen to me. We got into a pretty big fight, and there's a lot of space between us now.

AITA?

[leupagus]

Ted Lasso season 3 episode 5.

That’s it that’s the ask.

I don't know what you'd like the answer to be, though! I watched it! A lot happened! My thoughts won't be particularly new or original, but here you go. (Spoilers, obviously, below.)

I think it's a really interesting notion that Rebecca, like her mom, gets (a little bit) hooked onto the idea of the psychic might actually not be full of shit, to the extent that she considers getting pregnant. I am super curious as to how/if that storyline resolves in Rebecca actually being a mom, either literally or figuratively, but I don't have any predictions either way. I will say that that storyline must have been really hard for Waddingham, considering what she's talked about with her own daughter's conception, so kudos to her.

EXTREMELY glad that they made clear that Jade wasn't intended to be seen as a racist (even though I maintain that, in the real world, WOOF her behavior the first two times we met her were racist), but rather just extremely reserved and willing to open up (and hey, NOT because Nate is famous now! Another thing I'm really happy to have been wrong about!) and I hope those kids make it work.

I absolutely fast-forwarded through the Shandy firing because I'd been spoiled for it and it made me sad that they brought on a great actor only to waste her like this. I get what the show was trying to say, but I don't like how they did it and I agree with those who found it pretty gross that one of the only non-white female actors on the show had to play that character (even though Ambreen Razia knocked it out of the park in every scene she was in).

Keeley and Jack together are great — I didn't "need" it in the way that a lot of people say (both in general and in the queer community) that unless a bi person sleeps with multiple genders, it doesn't "count." On the other hand, it's nice! They're two hotties, I'm glad they get to be hot together for however long their relationship is.

Other than that, yay for Ted's (somewhat erratic) growth in this ep; yikes for Henry's bullying (though it sounds more like it was a fight he got into with the kid rather than systemic harassment or abuse); I too am both scared and horny about Roy's vivid advice for bullies; and Roy joining in on the injured monkey... moment was really good for me. (As of course was Trent's revelation that he might actually be a good strategist, given the metric fuckton of soccer he's watched and judged for the past twenty-five years.)

[sehtoast]

I noticed something lately. Some allegation were thrown at Antony Starr. The most recent ones being that he apparently like some racist comments online and that he is the reason Dominique McElligot is not that involved in promotional stuff. The person that spread that rumour according to the Boys Reddit about Antony being a toxic person is some person called Vought HQ who if my memory serves me is hated by the cast and crew as she was a leaker and when they finally stopped her she got pissed and hence those stories

of these, only the comment likes are substantiated, for which he absolutely does need to apologize. whether or not it was an accident really isn't relevant; it still warrants an apology solely because it happened. to his credit, he shut down the comments section on that particular post and scrubbed an absolute landslide of absolutely vile comments before reopening it (there's still a couple, but of several thousand comments i would say he did a pretty solid cleanup given he's just one guy).

as for the rest, i feel like there's a lot of bullshit floating around given voughthq's (gonna abbreviate as vhq) history. and you're right, she was widely disliked by the cast for spoiling the show, and she took a lot of their posts about spoilers upsetting them to heart and became very vitriolic, but in particular she seemed to really fixate on Antony after his post (i don't have it on hand, but i have seen it and it really wasn't bad or insulting toward her at all. it was mostly just "spoilers suck :c / people worked hard and leaking their hard work before it's time is rude)

what i find really discredits her, though, is the fact she happily name dropped people in departments like costuming, directing, and vfx (100% remember the costuming one bc she claimed they doxxed her [press x to doubt]) and generally anyone who had slighted her, and i know she name dropped the person who was feeding her spoilers over animal crossing. however, she refused to name the person who told her all these allegations about Ant's on set behavior, claiming it was to protect their privacy. this is, in particular, i find baffling, because not only had she quit by this point (would bet money she was actually fired) but she also went scorched earth quite happily on everyone else. if you having nothing left to lose, why not drop the name?

ultimately, vhq is someone known for lashing out at any degree of criticism or disagreement, and often weaponized spoilers to use against fans in discord as a way to 'attack' them, which... gross.

and, unless Dominique or others came forward and said that Antony had harassed/bullied them on set, then we really have nothing more than a game of he-said-she-said from a disgruntled ex uk-based employee two or more degrees removed from everyone with clear personal beef against Ant as grounds to label him abusive. Antony admittedly does have a past history of two instances of drunken violence that happened many, many years apart, but i don't think that necessarily upholds vhq's accusations.

[mieczyhale]

note: i spent quite a bit of time rambling, and it truly is rambling, so i have not gone back and re-read any of this.

-

you can hate someone all you want and say whatever you want about them, but to attack their appearance and a speech impediment is gross. idc who the fucker is. his appearance has nothing to do with his behavior and making fun of the way someone talks?? really?? not only does that also have nothing to do with his behavior, but a lot of people have speech impediments and he's not gonna see your ~jokes~ but they will

go after him for shit that's relevant. go after his actions

anyway

dude needs a psych eval, therapy, and anger management at the very least imo. he's never really hidden that he isn't mentally thriving, but there is a lot more going on up there than depression.

-

as someone who can react aggressively, even violently, when frustrated enough or angry enough - and has said some awful shit in the moment that felt out of my control (there is no brain to mouth contact in that moment) - i know there is shit that can be done to help that. medications, therapy, learning redirection, knowing when to exit a situation before you hit that point, and other shit.

i've been struggling with this again lately as my mental health is shit, but it's still better than it used to be years ago, and i'm aware of it and what a problem it is. bc real talk: i did not think it was an issue. it was like "yeah i'm yelling and screaming and throwing things and breaking shit (not all at once, thank god) but so what?? that's just how i am". you can truly be so unaware of yourself and your own shit it's ridiculous

not saying he's got the same shit in his head but from personal experience i wouldn't rule it out entirely. there are a lot of mental illnesses out there and things that can get messed up in you. nothing excuses his behavior, but there could be an explanation.

once again: explaining =/= excusing

and if there is something genuinely fucked up (well..) then he can get help. people don't like to think about or consider it for some reason, but even people who do abhorrent things can get better and change (if they want to) not that that would make up for anything but it would keep a repeat from happening with someone else. and idk i believe there is good in almost everyone. he fucked up a helluva lot but i don't think he's this unsalvagable evil demon. he's a human being

okay yeah editing one thing in and that is that there could be something mentally at play, or medically, or he could just be an asshole that needs to learn and do better (i'm not ruling it out entirely) or it could be a combination deal. idk. i'm just not a big fan of calling someone a piece of shit with the tone that that IS who they are. the end. that they've always been a piece of shit and they always will be and there is no hope for them.

and maybe that's one of the reasons i'm being so unwell about this. because, top 10 anime betrayals aside, i've seen bits of myself in his videos prior to all of this blowing up - the good and the bad. i've seen a bit of the worst part of me in the clips of his aggression and threats. but despite what i feel and say when i've gotten like that in the past i never meant it outside of that moment. you calm down and you genuinely hate yourself because what the fuck was that shit and you feel embarrassed (and for me getting embarrassed usually manifests as anger) and it's just shit

i dont tend to develop parasocial attachments but in the span of like.. a month maybe here we fucking are i guess. it's not great, i'm not thrilled by it - especially now - but it really got me out of nowhere and bc i have attachment issues (there are many reasons i'm in therapy thanks) that's.. probably also part of the unwellness i've been feeling (i keep calling it "unwell" bc truly i do not have the words to describe it beyond that)

there are people who say they "got a vibe" or "never liked him" or whatever but could not be less me. he quickly became a comfort channel and there was nothing that tipped me off that anything was wrong. his channels spark(ed) joy (serious videos aside, but even then there was comfort in seeing someone get so passionate about things that mattered)

i enjoy him and his content, both solo and joint, and - saying this bc i've seen more than one comment on it - i like listening to him speak and i like watching him speak. his lisp is cute and he has a nice voice. his humor is great, the fashion and vibes were immaculate before whatever the fuck happened that ended up in him removing color from everything he owns. and growing that mustache situation

he's someone who is seriously not well, he did and said godawful trash shit, and he should face consequences. none of this post is me saying he should be forgiven with zero punishment. people shouldn't push it aside just because they're fans

this was not a victimless situation, nor was it a first time, from what some people have said

you can be a fan and admit when the person you're a fan of fucked up / did something awful. being a fan does not mean excusing their every word and action. a*ex is a person. a human being. not a demon but also not a god. and he should be treated as such. stop putting strangers on pedestals. i might be incredibly unwell about things but at least i never thought he was perfect or whatever. anyone can let you down at any time, be it content creators or actors or whatever, so please be careful and be at least a little sane about them)

i'm sure i have more to say about this but my brain really said "we've done enough with serious words for now" and i can't remember where i was going with this - if anywhere. maybe this was just supposed to be a rambling vent - which, if so, mission accomplished. i know it was triggered by people attacking a*ex for the wrong things, bc going after shit like a speech impediment is so low and so not relevant to the situation, and then i just got my feelings and thoughts everywhere. eugh.

i've watched a couple videos on the evidence (sound off w/ captions bc reading vile things is easier than hearing them) (i do the same thing with my voicemails tbh. i never listen to them, i read them. not bc they're vile but bc i just get less anxious if i don't have to hear it. idk) and while each covered the biggest things (so far anyway) i certainly am not going to claim to know it all. but there have been video clips, audio clips, screenshots across them all - each video having some of the same pieces but also pieces the others don't show or touch on. so.. i've seen.. enough.

i really need to disengage from all of this, and i sure would like to, i'd love to not be aware of this level of "drama" regarding someone i'm a fan of as it's breaking, but i can't go back in time and stop myself from clicking on his channel and i can't undo liking his videos so here i fucking am

-

"he's cancelled!" bitch shut the fuck up. canceling isn't a real thing. look at anyone with a fanbase who has done bad shit. they still have a fanbase, they still do whatever.

"his career is over!" maybe, maybe not, i for one can't see the future but i wouldn't place bets that it is. because again: look at what people have been accused of, and have done, and even if they suffered real consequences for their actions they came back from it.

maybe focus on what genuine consequences there could be

OR - better yet - focus on showing support for the victim. yeah actually maybe lets do that. maybe care about a victim more than you hate their abuser. just tossing that thought out there as an option

-

i keep thinking i've reached the end of what i have to say and then some part of me, the apparently country part that stormed out the saloon doors, comes slamming back through a moment later - cowboy hat waving wildly - with a yell of "AND ANOTHER THING-"

-

on top of everything else - and i know this is going to sound so shitty and so immature - i do not like being told what to do. to like.. a really aggressive degree. it's one of the traits i got from my mom. if you tell me to stop watching something or stop listening to something, to do or not do something, you have almost guaranteed that i am going to do the exact opposite.

and tbh... if we cut off content from anyone who ever did bad things there would be like.. no content left. which might sound fine to you, you weird purity culture angel fucks, but i personally like to find relaxation and joy where i can get it. i personally like to enjoy life when i can. mostly because it isn't an easy thing for me to do, so if some band's music is a vibe or some guy posts random videos that make me smile or laugh then brother i am in. not necessarily on a personal level but then maybe yeah on a personal level. i don't know. i'm just saying words at this point. not that i don't mean them, but they're a bit of a mess.

i've been awake for over four hours

it is 7:52 AM

i don't know why i'm still trying to get my thoughts and feelings out.

maybe because i want those things to get across as clearly as they can. i don't want there to be a misunderstanding if it can be avoided. i want it to be understood (as much as it can be) why i think the way i do about all this and what i don't think about it all (like no, i don't think a*ex is innocent. do i think we have the full story?? i don't know. probably not. even with evidence we've only heard half directly, but he certainly did more than enough wrong and there should be consequences. real ones.)

all this and i still don't feel like i've gotten out everything i wanted to properly, which is whatever. i can make another rambling vent post later if i have to. i just hoped unloading all of this would make me feel a bit better, maybe a little less anxiety-induced nauseous, idk. it kind of worked i guess

-

wildly oversimplified and comically surface-level tldr: i'm not an empath but i can be intensely empathetic, as well as intensely sympathetic, to my own detriment and my brother in christ has all of this really driven that home

wildly oversimplified and comically surface-level tldr 2.0: person who is multiple mental illnesses in a trenchcoat and feels Too Much affected by situation Too Much at least partially due to mental illnesses

[silvasfunctionalmind]

There's something really disappointing and sad about when your literal, physical brain is so fucked up it actively poisons you.

Because, what, nobody is bowing at your feet, apologizing on the behalf of every single allistic person on this planet for personally promoting applied behavioral analysis/autistic conversion therapy? Because they won't personally raze [redacted] to the ground for you?

Anyways, NONE of those things should be happening, and we are not entitled to such, but please understand that, yeah, the situation we described is literally some of us who were here from 2007 or 2008 onwards, we are actively being poisoned seeing other people be randomly kind to others. We can't trust that they mean it.

It just so happens that when it gets extremely bad we get more bitchy, more isolationist, and much more prone to snapping on a hair trigger. I'm looking at the past few weeks (not literally, you get the idea I hope), and I'm pretty sure that's been the case leading up to April 2.

For people not aware of it: April 2 is autism "awareness" day, the day everyone decides to fundraise a literal hate group. Seeing this happen over and over again and feeling like there has been nobody ever listening to us until, bah, literally last year, has made it so our readings on peoples' situations are a lot less kind than they used to be and it's extended way past autism advocacy at this point.

I've literally seen specific headmates who shake because of the physical pain of seeing random acts of kindness and not feeling they ever had that in return. I've seen folks who distress themselves to the point they start talking in loops, as in, it's coherent and has a logical structure so it isn't a word salad, but they literally loop the same topic [A] over three times within another topic [B] and not realize it, topic [A] is just that stressful. I've seen people in here go into social media spirals because nobody wants to talk about the consequences of pretending being sex-repulsed is a either purity culture thing or a trauma thing (it's neither! inherently speaking, it is NIL) and then it goes back to that point of nobody ever listening to us.

This is a very roundabout way of apologizing for anything we've done the past few weeks. We've just felt...awful lately, as in, super fucking disgusting and gross in general.

[the-teddy-bear-butch]

I’m going to give you my very best attempt at a nuanced take of Billy Hargrove because I have seen a lot of posts recently and I think it’s important to talk about. TL/DR at the end

I’ll agree with the pro Billy blogs on this—the Billy and Karen thing was gross. That was uncomfortable, and you know a lot of people that are cool with it would react very differently if Billy was a teenage girl and Karen was an older man

I also think the attempt at a redemption arc was bullshit—and I think it could have been done better. The whole marauder thing where a character sacrifices themselves in a split second decision isn’t redemption. It’s a cop out choice to make you feel sympathy for characters that are frankly pretty shitty. However, had Billy put in the work and effort to treat Max, Lucas, and everyone else with even a modicum more kindness, I do think he could have been a more likable character.

Now onto narratives of abuse

I’ve seen arguments that Billy and Jonathan differ because Billy had no support system—but I think it’s not quite that black and white. Consider for a moment that yes, Jonathan has a support system, but it is weaker than y’all like to admit. It’s clear Joyce will do anything for her kids—however, the Byers family is poor, and Joyce is obviously working a lot, in at least the first three seasons. The fact that Joyce isn’t around is half the reason Will goes missing in the first place. A semi “absent” (for lack of a better word) mother is not much of a support system. Neither is an eleven year old child. Billy does lack for a support system, but that is not entirely from outside forces. Billy could have made the decision to be kind to Max, who is old enough to understand abuse and be somewhat supportive, and the two could have been a support system for each other. Billy also could have attempted to make friends, and in turn, create a support system for himself. In fact, in the show, Billy is shown being semi-friendly to the basketball team and at the party. It’s unclear whether he made any actual friends, but he had the ability to do so

That said, it’s understandable why Billy was angry, when he had little support and was being abused

HOWEVER, Billy being a victim of abuse does not justify the way he turns his anger on others. Saying that he’s just angry and aggressive because of his abuse, and that people “just don’t like it when abuse victims adopt unhealthy coping mechanisms” is just not correct. Sometimes victims adopt unhealthy mechanisms, that’s true—BUT that in no way excuses turning anger and violence onto other people. It’s an argument that to me is very reminiscent of “well I have a bad past and so I’m mean and I don’t have to change.” (For lack of better wording.) It does not matter how bad your past is, you don’t get to use that as justification for your own violence against others. And Billy is violent to others. The way he grabs Max’s wrist, the way he constantly talks down to her and tries to control her, these are abusive. Even clearer is when he almost hits Max’s friends with his car. The ONLY reason he did not was because Max turned the wheel at the last moment. Consider also the way he tried to harm Lucas—which is something else entirely

I’ve also seen arguments that Billy is, in essence, a child. I would argue that he is not. Yes, he’s 17-18 in the show, but that is an age at which he is old enough to be intelligent about his behavior and to learn coping mechanisms that would not harm Max and perpetuate the cycle of abuse. He is old enough to react maturely—and not hitting or verbally abusing his little sister isn’t even a choice I think we should have to call mature in the first place.

In regards to Lucas, I have seen very few Billy blogs acknowledge Billy’s racism. Those that do tend to cite Dacre Montgomery himself, in this interview

But again, HOWEVER, Dacre is one actor. Actors’ takes on their characters are important, yes, but one man’s argument does not outweigh several other people, including the Duffer Brothers themselves and Caleb McLaughlin. In the very same interview, Dacre admits that the script originally contained a slur, and was removed because he would not say it. That is Dacre—not Billy

The Stranger Things fandom at large has beef with the Duffers—this much is true. We like to pick and choose aspects of what they say. However, they are still the creators of the show, and with contextual evidence AND their word, it’s hard to argue against Billy’s racism. From an interview with The Vulture

I will also add a side note about Runaway Max. While not 100% canon, the book is official and does take context from the show itself. This is a weaker piece of evidence, but it adds up. In particular, I think it’s important to acknowledge the “people like that” line, given how Billy responds to Lucas in the show

The most important opinion of all, however, is that of Caleb McLaughlin. In matters of racism, the opinions and voices that matter most are those of actual POC. Caleb himself calls Billy’s behavior racially motivated

If you really “read between the lines” in the show, the evidence is there too. Lucas is not the only one of the boys that hangs out with Max. Billy does see Max’s other friends. The only boy he has a problem with is Lucas—and the one defining trait that Billy would notice is Lucas’s skin color. See also the fight at the Byers house. The very first person Billy even thinks to target is again Lucas Sinclair

Billy is also canonically misogynist. Calling women cows is not indicative of a leftist feminist icon. He is shown to have an attitude that women are inferior. There’s more to say on this, but this has gotten quite long already, and I think I’ve made my point

TL/DR: Billy is justified in his anger, and his quote “redemption” could have been done better. Yes, the Karen and Billy thing was gross. HOWEVER, contextual evidence and interviews with the Duffers and Caleb prove that Billy is racist. Analysis of the show proves his abusive behavior and misogyny. No character is a monolith, and characters have layers—but we HAVE to think critically about the characters we like. You can’t just erase cornerstone aspects of characters like Billy. He isn’t a good guy. His abuse doesn’t excuse his bigotry and violence. End of story.

[somnimouse]

I don’t want to be harassed by Vinca and my memory is fuzzy but she used to identify as white/white passing and made/reblogged a lot of posts where it was clear she felt guilty for that. I’m glad shes been able to embrace her mixed heritage but it’s really weird to see her claiming that any criticism of her is anti-black. Like I’ve seen photos of her she is not ambiguously white passing she straight up just looks white so for her to use that as a way to get money and clout chase feels really gross especially since she seems to be integrating herself with other POC who actually face discrimination based on their looks.

Idk what to do I guess it’s just a matter of time until she deletes all her blogs again and starts anew in a fresh community like always.

Hey, thank you for your ask! A few others have come forward to me and mentioned seeing that information as well in the past.

Racial identity and the difficulties that come with being half of different races isn't something I can discuss myself because I'm neither half nor Black, but passing privilege also exists in the context of skin color and gender, the latter being something I can talk about.

My own lack of passing privilege in gender has net me years of transmisogyny from both cis people and now Vinca because my "fem-leaning" is apparently not fem enough, no matter if I identified as transfem or not in the past, and I therefore cannot reclaim the slurs and mention my experiences. It is gender essentialist truscum rhetoric and goalpost-shifting. If one is very much white-passing, they should understand the impact of privilege no matter the context.

Unfortunately, the main issues we have in the incident happening right now aren't the labels or passing privileges themselves, but the fact that they're used to dismiss other trans POC and farm emotional supply. This is a common tactic to garner sympathy and avoid all accountability of one's actions and the hurt they cause. No matter what they've done, people with self-serving and malicious intentions will dismiss everything with, "I'm marginalized, so you criticizing me is bigoted! If you're marginalized and have personally experienced it, no you didn't because you're not marginalized enough!" It's a surefire way to generate dishonest outrage, abuse victims, earn money, take advantage of the kindness of others, and play wounded gazelle all at once. Combined with virtue-signalling and grandstanding, it's just a mess of emotional vitriol.

That said, Vinca is not someone who responds to logic or reason, and assumes silencing her victims by slandering them as racists or transmisogynists, downplaying her own actions and privilege, and utilizing ad hominem and constant harassment can obscure the truth, even when it's corroborated from many people in the community who aren't even friends with each other. It's to protect her sense of self-perception and feel vindicated in lashing out at the perceived injustice in her life. But because this is a recurring cycle, it will only be a matter of time before she hurts someone else in her current community with her behavior, accuses them of bigotry to absolve herself of accountability, and moves on to escape, just as she did before. Nothing you can do about it.

Either way, I've already said my piece with all of the information listed in the reblogs of Z's and Robin's posts to clarify the pattern and exact nature of Vinca's actions. I can't force her to listen to logic and self-reflect if she fully believes she's morally right, no matter how many unhinged DMs she sends me. It's better to wash your hands of it, Anon, and support her victims.

[illiteratethekid]

I had to cataloge this. reddit post from r/offmychest

u/BigBingus1337

I (27F) have been struggling with an extremely disgusting problem for 14 years, and I need help.

nsfw

(CW)

Content warning:

Strong depiction of bodily fluids (excrement, urine)

Suicide attempts

Depression

Physical/Sexual/Emotional Abuse

Sexual discussion

Self harm

Just a lot of awful stuff

(CW)

Please be warned, this is an extremely gross, explicit, and hard to handle post. I'm not making this up. This isn't a joke. I'm in a lot of pain. I've tried a lot and I don't know what to do anymore.

I feel helpless, ashamed, disgusted, and sub-human.

It's only now after 14 years of this cycle that I've become so, *so* tired of hiding my shame that I can talk about it publicly and reach out for more help, or at least get this off my chest.

If I seem distant or use wack-ass language, it's because I've lived this way for too long to get hung up on making any of this fit "acceptable" language.

It's impossible.

I'm also well aware that this might get memed into oblivion, shared around like "look at this lmao gross", and laughed at.

I get it. I can sort of see how in a sick, fucked-up kind of way this could be funny from an outside perspective.

Comedy helps people cope, ridiculing others is a maladaptive way of comforting oneself.

What I worry about is people not reading this with empathy or a desire to understand, and would rather trash on me and reinforce the hatred I already have for myself and my behaviors.

So just fuckin... be cool.

Please.

For the past 14 years, I haven't been able to stop fingering my ass, defacating on towels/toiletpaper and urinating in bottles/towels/tp/etc.

It has caused me to live in unsanitary, isolating, shameful, and disgusting conditions.

It has cost me my health, happiness, safety, relationships, living situations, and on several occasions, it's caused me to attempt suicide.

I am scared of being somehow shamed more than I shame myself by posting this. I've sought professional help, and it hasn't worked regardless of if its my fault or the help.

About me:

I'm 27, I have a decent job, a good group of friends, recent-ish-ly single, handful of great and awful partners, etc.

I'm trans, she/her. (Please don't be weird. I struggled with this problem well before I had any inkling of gender stuff. That's not how it works)

I've been diagnosed with ADHD, ASD, and Clinical Depression.

I have taken pretty standard adhd medication for the last 8 years

I have tried 5 different SSRIs with at best, no effect, and at worst, full blown serotonin syndrome, mild psychosis, and seizures.

Over the years, I've seen 4 therapists for a couple years at a time.

All of which were actually wonderful help for understanding and coping with trauma, depression, ADHD, ASD, and sexual/physical/emotional abuse.

I haven't been able to mend this specific problem, even with their help.

The formatting of this post is really choppy mainly because it's comprised of notes I've taken on this issue in notepad++

Some of it might seem detached or "clinical" because of this.

I use these notes to help analyze the behaviors that are happening and the different emotions and motivators at play.

I have always struggled on-and-off with keeping my personal spaces clean due to whatever cocktail of adhd, depression, asd, whatever.

Trash, rotting food, disorganization, dirty bed, etc.

I'd say it would be 70% as bad as a typical "neckbeard-nest" image you would see.

Never piles so high I couldn't see or leave my space, but, certainly enough to be playing hop-scotch to get around.

Both the depression messes and the defecating problem have gone through cycles of getting slightly better, getting much worse, better again ,etc.

Potential reasons for being Motivated/compelled/habitual fingering my ass for a combination of 2 reasons:

ASD Stimming/comfort/sexual stimulation from prostate when feeling... *something*

Attempts to identify that something lead to maybe these?

- Potentially feeling bored/understimulated

- An emptiness emotionally

2. ASD Sensory issues around feeling unclean after shitting, e.g. still feeling shit inside me and disgust/frustration with how that interferes with #1?

Earliest possible memory/origin of behavior:

Exploring my body/masturbating with anal stimulation around age 12-13.

As with anyone who's done anal, "shit happens", especially when you don't know about cleaning yourself out.

I would end up coming into contact with shit, not knowing what to do, and just wiping it on toilet paper or towels.

I would hide the evidence because I was ashamed and embarrassed.

An unfortunate part of this habit is that fingering your ass causes a feeling of need to urinate.

Whenever I finger my ass, I urinate into toilet paper, a bottle, a container.

This affects my living space by making it unsanitary, extremely unpleasant, and isolating.

This leads to even more unsanitary conditions, more avoidance, procrastination, and shame.

The unsanitary conditions cause a rolling chain of dependency/vicious cycle

For example:

- An area gets gross or unpleasant (typically the bathroom first)

- That area is now more difficult to reach both physically and emotionally

- Procrastination/avoidance/shame/refusal to clean the area

- I am unable to use that area, leading to shitting and pissing in a pile elsewhere

- Causing more spread out messes

- repeat until harsh physical/social consequences or suicidality take hold

- then clean everything top to bottom and try to not get in the cycle again

I always end up back in the cycle.

The anxiety & helplessness around my struggles with this make it impossible to have anyone over

I am too ashamed to ask for help, or accept it when offered.

Friends know I'm depressed and struggle with keeping my spaces clean, but I never tell them the full story. Usually a half-truth.

I often tell my friends they can't come over because "my place is like a wreck, like unsanitary bad".

Which isn't *exactly* wrong, but isn't representative of how bad things actually are.

I feel like the 2 people in my life I've told the real, full details of this to, don't actually understand how bad it really is. They know I've had a *history* of issues with it.

I can't bring myself to tell them that its something I'm still struggling with *now*

The above is driven by shame.

I've done property damage. I've let wet piss soaked towels sit for weeks on beautiful wooden floors, bleaching them and stripping them of their varnish.

I've ruined and thrown out dozens of towels, sheets, carpets.

I've had to cut dried shit out of my own clothing or throw them away.

I've had to throw away wonderful gifts loving family and friends have given me because they were destroyed when I knocked over a months old piss bottle.

I had to steam clean my own shit stains out of carpet when moving out of an old apartment.

I remember sitting there, breaking down at seeing the damage I've caused.

I was so overwhelmed by my own disgust and hatred for my existence.

I got my handgun, put a magazine in, and put it in my mouth, and without a second of hesitation, pulled the trigger.

It sounds kinda dramatic, but I don't remember if I forgot to rack the slide on purpose or by mistake.

Somehow I'm glad I didn't, but there are many times I have regretted not doing it.

When I was in my teens my parents would discover/"catch" me living this way a couple times.

My parents did not handle finding out in a safe or loving way.

Shocker, I know.

They screamed at me that I'll lose all my housing opportunities, friends, and safety net if someone finds out.

And they aren't wrong about the consequences, but all they did was punish me, beat me, strip me of my privacy by removing my door from it's hinges, my healthy hobbies, shame me, and held no space for understanding or help.

They called it a fetish.

It was not.

However in the past year I've explored scat videos. I don't even like it. It's like a sick desperation for understanding what's wrong with me.

I've never in my 14 year history enjoyed living in my own filth.

I think my short exploration of scat as a porn category was just coping with trauma and uncertainty through a sexual lens.

Just fantasizing that I could convince myself its as simple as a fetish or desire, and because of that, it would be okay.

It's not.

It's not a fetish.

I don't enjoy this. I hate this.

This is extremely debilitating, and I don't deserve to go through this, but I can't seem to find a way to stop.

I feel deep shame and unsafety in regards to people finding out, telling them, or anyone helping because they won't understand.

It's hard to put into words how impossible it feels to break this habit.

It feels like when someone tells you the only way to get better is to "love yourself".

Like... what the fuck does that even mean? How? How can you do that if you don't value your own love? Monopoly money has more value than that.

Therapy has helped me cope with those nagging feelings for things like depression, abuse, self-worth, etc.

But changing this behavior feels as impossible as changing the laws of physics.

How do you sit with yourself, the 14th year of trying to outwit your own habits that try to kill you, remove you from society, and ruin everything you love, and say "Well this attempt it's gonna work!" and feel any sort of actual hope? Sure it's writing a fatalistic narrative for myself, and sure it sounds like I've resigned myself to this. What the fuck do I do?

The really sad thing is that I'm not the only one out there who struggles with this weird compulsive fingering and defecation issue.

A quick google search of the behavior leads to a couple forums/quora-like sites of people talking about this behavior and how they can't stop and don't know what it is.

They're desperately trying to find a reason or help. As far as I can tell, they never do.

So its like... what the hell are my chances if dozens of other people are struggling too?

I know my physical safety might concern people reading this. I'm at a point in therapy where suicide really just isn't on the menu for me anymore. I just want to assure readers that I'm not suicidal. I'm gonna keep living. I can't be certain whether or not I'll be living well.

Edit:

To all of you sending me private messages, saying this is hot, asking me to piss on them, getting turned on by this:

I hope you fucking rot. I really do.

As someone in the kink community, I don't shame others for what they like. But you REALLY think its appropriate to come into my DMs from a post where I detail a behavior that drove me to attempt suicide, and start waving your dick around?

There are no words that describe my sheer contempt for you. Rot.

To everyone else: I really appreciate the support and understanding you have provided. The responses have given me a lot to think about, and a lot of potential new paths to go down. Thank you, and I wish you the same care, kindness, and affirmation of humanity you all have provided to me.

[extremely-normalcore]

In response to this ask.

It's refreshing to see a sex-repulsed asexual. I hope the heavy emphasis on sex in yandere communities isn't too much. I'm not sex-repulsed myself; I am sex-apathetic, but I am somewhere on the asexual spectrum. Though I'm similar to you due to past experiences, I despise it when people make sexual advances.

I was going to ask if your profile picture was Sebastian. I've tried romancing him in the game before, but I struggle to find him gifts in the early game. The most I'm able to do is throw fish at him in the hopes that he loves me. I've always liked the design of Elliott, but I found him too obnoxious when I started romancing him.

You've had Tumblr longer than me. I opened my first account in 2022. I resonate with the fear of being stalked as well. I compulsively delete social media accounts because of that fear, but I've been trying to minimize that behavior as it doesn't help me.

I had the same experience that you had with your ex; I am sorry you went through that. What he did to you was disgustingly cruel. Your mother sounds dreadful, too. I'm glad you're away from them.

I find the heavy emphasis on sex to be extremely obnoxious but from what I've seen it's a bit inescapable no matter WHAT your interests are. People make EVERYTHING horny no matter WHAT it is. It's incredibly annoying but there's not much to do about it except block stuff that makes me too uncomfortable lol. Also, I am a firm believer in doing and saying whatever you want as long as it isn't actively harming others, even if I think something is gross/weird/annoying it is also other people's right to create and enjoy it. Ironically as someone with very little interest in free will for myself I care a lot about protecting the free will of others. I support people being freaky and doing what they want forever, I just wish I could quit being exposed to the horny stuff lmao.

Sebastian is my favourite, I've married him in every game since the first time I played it, I think he's fun in the normal version but I really love the yan version of him with mods. There are a few different versions of his yan mod but I have my own personal version I use that's kind of a personalized amalgamation. The only use I ever have for romancing any of the other characters is because he has some jealous dialogue lines he will give you if you do so that I occasionally like to hear and I do also like having Alex's 14 heart event because I like having the community upgrade. So in a lot of games I will marry Alex as quickly as possible so I can get his 14 heart event in year 2 and then divorce him immediately after, and I usually spend that whole time slowly romancing Sebastian so I get to see all of his lines. I know everything about him and all his loved/liked items and his schedule and stuff so it's not particularly hard for me to romance him but that's because I'm obsessive and weird lmao. He's also very much my favourite design, I also think Elliot is a bit obnoxious lol. But to be fair in comparison to Sebastian I find them ALL obnoxious because I can't be bothered to actually care about them. If Sebastian weren't an option in game I would probably end up with Sam or Krobus. Did you know the creator of the game ConcernedApe has stated previously in an interview that Sebastian is the character most similar to him? I know an obsessive amount about this game lol, outside of asking me too much about other characters you could prolly ask me about anything and I would probably know the answer.

I've had pretty deep seated paranoia for a very very long time, and that honestly doesn't come from nowhere. Growing up my mom and sister actually WERE constantly spying on me, my mom so she could get me in trouble and hurt me and my sister so she could blackmail me. But rather than working harder to hide everything I've kind of come to accept that no matter where I go or what I do I am always being watched and there is always someone who is trying to hurt me and I can never know who it's going to be next so generally I try not to share anything at all that I couldn't be okay with everyone knowing, even if it would make me uncomfortable for this or that person to know whatever thing. The one more recent exception to that is the yandere/obsessive stalker stuff because you know, talking to friends about the horrific child abuse I suffered as a kid and them deciding to share that would suck a little bit, but this is the kind of stuff that could ruin most of my relationships and/or my job and stuff so I feel like I'm REALLY playing with fire making a yandere blog but I also want to meet more people like me and actually talk and interact with people. So I'm kind of just hoping for the best here lol. Also, for clarification, the handle the I use everywhere is my main, not this one. This one is new and specifically for this blog although I've used the name Cypher on and off before too

Honestly that ex wasn't even the worst lol. Like I said I've got three exes;

Ex 1:

dated me when I was 14 and he was 18

also frequently coerced me into sex/sexual things by saying he would just sleep with someone else if I didn't sleep with him

threatened to tie me up in his basement (not actually a red flag to me personally but my friends say it is)

randomly hunted down my college and email like two years after we broke up after I graduated and started college???? Just felt really out of character/out of the blue

Ex 2:

started actively stalking me in middle school (I thought it was cute tbh, actually I still don't really see anything wrong with it, it only became an issue because I was no longer interested in him)

would threaten to self harm/kill himself/drink/do drugs/put himself in dangerous situations if I didn't do sexual things with him/send him nudes/stuff like that

laughed at me when I came out as trans to him

after we broke up he immediately got a new partner and then a couple months later messaged me asking me to sleep with his partner while he watched and once again threatened to kill himself when I said no (at that point I was with my 3rd ex and he threatened to fight him and he left me alone after that)

repeatedly threatened to drug and kidnap me (again not a red flag to me but my friends say it is)

Ex 3:

Was very controlling, didn't let me take my own car that I owned to see me friends which wouldn't have been a big deal except he took my car to see his friends all the time. If I can't have friends you can't either, I'm very down with controlling behaviour but you can't just use me when you feel like it and ignore me/ditch me the rest of the time, it's not fair

pretty frequently ignored me in favour of smoking weed with our roommate, as in didn't even acknowledge me

repeatedly assaulted me and when I was upset about it told me it wasn't his fault it was because of his ADHD and him being a Scorpio

When we first started dating I was actively being assaulted by a family member and when I went to him for comfort about it he just made gross jokes and didn't care

Shit in a litter box and made me clean it up after because he was "too emotionally distressed"

Forced me to do sexual things in exchange for helping me get some access to trans stuff (like binders and tape and stuff)

Also repeatedly threatened to drug and kidnap me which in itself wasn't a red flag (to me) but he also talked about being into cnc/wanting to rape me which I guess he ended up doing anyways lol

I FOUND OUT HE HAD BEEN RAPING HIS YOUNGER SISTER FOR LIKE 7 YEARS SINCE SHE HAD BEEN A YOUNG CHILD WITH THE HELP OF HIS OLDER BROTHER WHO HAD BEEN DOING IT EVEN LONGER (THIS IS WHY WE BROKE UP HE SHOULD BE IN FUCKING PRISON I WISH I HAD CUT OFF HIS DICK WHILE I HAD THE CHANCE)

My mom was insanely controlling and abusive, like she determined when and what we could eat or drink, if we were allowed inside the house at all, when we could sleep and for how long, etc. And if she caught you breaking any of those rules in any way she was pretty violent, except that the rules weren't always even super consistent. Like once I was wearing a watch she had bought me and I'd been wearing it for probably at least a month at that point but she suddenly became pissed off and decided I shouldn't be wearing it and tackled me to the ground and beat the shit out of me and tore it off me and told me she better not ever catch me wearing it again. She also kept us very isolated, even from other family members and my parents getting divorced and my dad dropping off the face of the earth was such a good thing for her because it helped her push the message to us that everyone else would always leave us and that she was the only one who would ever actually love us so we needed to obey her and not ask questions and she was a perfect parent who actually cared about her kids. And I honestly believed her until I was a senior in hs, I pretty much worshiped her and believed everything she said and tried so hard to be so good and obedient and stuff which was really hard when I was also incredibly depressed and suicidal from elementary school and found it hard to care about most things. I tried so hard and I was never enough, I still love her and miss her so much but when my younger sister tried to kill herself I decided that was enough and someone had to try and stand up to her and protect my younger siblings and then I got permanently disowned by her and now that entire side of the family doesn't talk to me anymore because even though she doesn't like any of them they still all bend over backwards kissing her ass and shit. And I don't have a super strong connection with my dad's side of the family either because we weren't really allowed to growing up because of my mom and they also spend most the year out of the country anyways and my dad missed most of my life and he's somewhat back in it now but it's pretty clear that he doesn't care that much about me and more so feels guilty about abandoning us with our mom while he escaped and got remarried and stuff. And his new wife hates me and is transphobic af too so that's cool

Rip, sorry for trauma dumping so much in this answer lol, this is why I've got a weird complex about worshiping people I'm obsessed with as perfect gods tho and have deep seated abandonment issues that feeds into my being deeply obsessive, if I didn't value other people's comfort and happiness above my own I would probably also be more possessive but I'm so scared of people leaving me I really try to avoid doing anything that makes them uncomfortable and what I've discovered over the years is people REALLY don't like possessive or clingy behaviour, I've been repeatedly told that I'm creepy and too much. I actually don't really get why people don't like it but I know they don't so I generally try not to do it