#seeking assistance

[pochiyaki]

Help Pochi Get Their Service Dog Trained

I am seeking assistance in getting Sata my psychiatric service dog trained and initially set up with a vet and supplies! This will be a huge help in improving my health and wellness. Please share or support if you can! https://gofund.me/2a4aef13

[lykonos]

!!! URGENT !!! - family of three facing homelessness

!!!!! GOFUNDME LINK !!!!!!

hello everyone! of course this is not my usual sort of posting, but i have something i would like to bring to attention.

my good friend Mare and their family are at risk of going homeless if they cannot make rent by next week. if they are evicted, they will have nowhere else to go.

please please please consider donating if you can! if you can't donate, please share this around. i know i don't have a big account or whatever but i was hoping this would at least give me enough reach. also if anyone knows any ways that i can further boost this post, please let me know.

thank you for your time.

[one-shitpost-a-day]

tf are these called

[ordinarily-unordinary]

Help me I beg of thee

Migraines suck ass. tell me friends, is it possible to take the right side of one's brain and freeze it and or pressure wash it like those driveway cleaning videos? Because my current solution is to sit with no light whatsoever, and scroll through tumbler with tea for hours on end hoping that it goes away.

[squareofshape]

i don't care how neat a program is or how much it might improve my life. if it sneaks its way into my computer on top of a regular software update like some kind of fucking digital deer tick, it's a delete on sight. kill kill kill. nobody but ME decides what programs get installed on MY computer. fuck all the way off

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[noblessyousforgiacomo]

Tumblr Hall of Fame post about how daddy issues make you a people pleaser but mommy issues make you a sociopath is so Dick Grayson and Jason Todd coded.

[kittytamasings]

Seeking help with $300 payment to grandpa by the 15th to keep peace under our roof

TL;DR I'm seeking $300 by the 15th to pay my grandpa so we can appease him and keep him off our backs while mom is away from home recovering from health issues. It's urgently needed so he won't call mom's phone to torture her over the payment. I want to make our burdens a little lighter with your help. More details below.

Life has turned upside down since last month. Mom experienced a mini stroke which led to her hospitalization. She did pull through and is now recovering her physical strength in the skilled nursing facility in preparation to come home, but she's had a host of various issues going on which contributed to her health issues.

She survived, but if she wasn't hospitalized when she was, she would have died that next morning. With much of my adult life being centered on caregiving for mom basically full-time, I've had to adjust my own lifestyle in the meantime which has been quite a challenge.

It's been a very stressful month navigating home life without her here. I'm not sure when exactly she's coming back home, but mom has been making amazing progress.

Meanwhile, poppy continues to be horrible to us. He says rude things, he makes passive aggressive moves at us in the form of leaving profanity-riddled handwritten notes on the door of his wardrobe in his bedroom or being passive aggressive things aren't clean enough to his standards. The usual. He hasn't been any nicer to us even knowing mom has been recovering and he even called up to the hospital to torment her a few times too. Sure, sometimes he'd be decent but there's almost always a catch with him when he's trying to butter people up.

To say I'm mentally drained is an understatement. But right now, while we are still figuring out moving stuff, it's taken a bit of a backseat to Mom's sudden stroke and other health issues. We'll be starting from basically the ground up when she comes home in terms of getting adjusted to home life once more with her back. I'm aiming for the $300 poppy needs for monthly payment stuff by the 15th. This will prevent him from being any worse to us as we try to take things day by day here awaiting mom's return home. I'm just trying to keep some peace under this roof and this is the big way to do that even if he's super critical and rude all the time.

It is a lot to ask for in a matter of four days, but think of it this way: if two people sent along $150, I'd hit my goal fairly quick. Or if three people donated $100. Regardless, any amount helps and gets me much much closer to my goal of being able to pay poppy so he can chill out and not be so awful to us while we're stuck living under his roof a while longer and adjusting to life. Please boost with reposts and such, I'm working really hard on things but I need to lean on others in these hard times. It's urgently needed by the 15th. This will also take stress off mom's shoulders because she's away from home still and poppy WILL call her cell phone to harass her if we don't appease him. You couldn't begin to understand if you don't live in this situation, all I ask for is compassion. Thank you for reading all this. Times have been scary and challenging but I'm trying my best to take them a day at a time.

[obi-wann-cannoli]

Rewatching Ready or Not 2019 and I keep wondering if it was possible for both the bride and groom to survive the night.

He doesn’t die until *after* she requests a divorce. It could just be the timing of the curse, it’s just not instant for the whole family, but it could also be that if he had helped her they *both* would’ve survived.

[trans-axolotl]

some of Eli Clare's writing about diagnosis feels very relevant to discussions on tumblr right now:

"It’s impossible to grapple with cure without encountering white Western medical diagnosis—ink on paper in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders and the International Classification of Diseases, a process in the hands of doctors, a system of categorization. I want to read diagnosis as a source of knowledge, sometimes trustworthy and other times suspect. As a tool and a weapon shaped by particular belief systems, useful and dangerous by turns. As a furious storm, exerting pressure in many directions.

Simply put, diagnosis wields immense power. It can provide us access to vital medical technology or shame us, reveal a path toward less pain or get us locked up. It opens doors and slams them shut.

Diagnosis names the conditions in our body-minds, charts the connections between them. It holds knowledge. It organizes visceral realities. It draws borders and boundaries, separating fluid in the lungs from high blood pressure, ulcers from kidney stones, declaring anxiety attacks distinct from heart attacks, post-traumatic stress disconnected from depression. It legitimizes some pain as real; it identifies other pain as psychosomatic or malingering. It reveals little about the power of these borders and boundaries. Through its technology—x-rays, MRIs, blood draws, EKGs, CAT scans—diagnosis transforms our three-dimensional body-minds into two-dimensional graphs and charts, images on light boards, symptoms in databases, words on paper. It holds history and creates baselines. It predicts the future and shapes all sorts of decisions. It unleashes political and cultural forces. At its best, diagnosis affirms our distress, orients us to what’s happening in our body-minds, helps make meaning out of chaotic visceral experiences.

But diagnosis rarely stays at its best. It can also disorient us or de- value what we know about ourselves. It can leave us with doubts, questions, shame. It can catapult us out of our body-minds. All too often diagnosis is poorly conceived or flagrantly oppressive. It is brandished as authority, our body-minds bent to match diagnostic criteria rather than vice versa. Diagnosis can become a cover for what health care providers don’t understand; become more important than our messy visceral selves; become the totality of who we are.

...

It is impossible to name all the ways in which diagnosis is useful.

It propels eradication and affirms what we know about our own body-minds. It extends the reach of genocide and makes meaning of the pain that keeps us up night after night. It allows for violence in the name of care and creates access to medical technology, human services, and essential care. It sets in motion social control and guides treatment that provides comfort. It takes away self-determination and saves lives. It disregards what we know about our own body-minds and leads to cure.

Diagnosis is useful, but for whom and to what ends?"

-Eli Clare, Brilliant Imperfection pg 41-42, 48.

[soukokumychildren]

I am in desperate need of assistance

I call upon friends and mutual alike because I need to find this one fucking image of a real life dude tearing up in relief

I did a quick sketch because I’m tired as fuck and my searches are always beyond useless lol

Looks mostly like this

But I had a meme in mind and I need help to find the image before I make something funny out of it

@anticidic @antisocialpyromaniac @redfroog @lu-zijing I NEED HELP NYEHHHHH

[pochiyaki]

Checkout my Throne wishlist! Now with more Sata related items! Snacks, Food, Toys, and helpful items for her overall health. Any contributions are greatly appreciated! throne.com/pochiyaki #throne

[dollwrites]

I hope you get nonconed in real life

and I hope you get the help you need

[maslows-pyramid-scheme]

.

[nicollekidman]

i think eventually we’re going to have to find a way to appropriately and realistically engage with young people who are publicly learning new information, because everyone is on board with the concept of “after a certain point you can’t blame ignorance on education you have to take responsibility and seek information out” but then when kids lack the foundation or framework to then analyze and synthesize that information it’s too easy to sit back and say stupid gen z the youth are doomed!!!!!!! especially when those same kids are - for better or for worse - working through their ignorance in a public forum.

like we either have to swallow our knee-jerk reaction to their lack of understanding and offer guidance when we’re able, or we have to have a bigger conversation about what it means to become radicalized or introduced to leftist spaces when you don’t have a strong background in how to interact with new information/facts and when information is spread through Trends like a new pair of shoes. i know that wailing about how we think the youth are wandering into bigotry traps or don’t know how to verify information or whatever is like. standard but. i do remember what it felt like when every new thing i learned required that i readjust my entire worldview and how i accepted things and thought critically about things, and there is a way to extend that grace to people who have the unfortunate impulse to document their journey out of stupidity online without catastrophizing.

and again i guess the context changes for each person as everyone is being fed different videos/articles about The Youth(tm) and their habits but personally i have been so uplifted by the massive amount of young people who are trying to learn (and unlearn) an enormous amount of information in a very small amount of time, especially considering that many of these people (again, that i have personally seen) are doing so without the support of the adults in their lives or often their peers. and trying to do that within a hive mind echochamber in public is HARD and i guess i just think there are more beneficial ways to react to sensationalized accounts of what they’re doing and how they’re reacting than just like. assuming worst case scenarios for entire generations of people…. especially when we know the people who are used as examples in articles etc are always going to be the dumbest and most controversial

[umbracirrus]

WIP Wednesday!!! 💛

I come with not one, but two snippets today! Both are wider scenes that I've posted a handful of lines from throughout this week (screaming about Elyse and Balgruuf not kissing but it's a slow burn so no kissing yet, and the last lines tag game from this morning), and both have something in common...

Elyse and her sweet tooth.

Tagging everyone who tagged me in that last lines game whilst I was sleeping last night hehe, so that means @thequeenofthewinter, @throughtrialbyfire, @pitiable-arisen, and @oblivions-dawn. No obligations of course 💛

Seeking the Sun snippet (chapter 3)

As a weak campfire began to flicker with light in the small camp they had cleared of bandits, Elyse couldn’t help but sit in the grass by the fire and stare up at the aurora which blanketed the skies. She hadn’t even been in Skyrim for a week, and in that time had been almost executed and survived a dragon attack... But she hadn’t been able to look up at the night sky and take it all in until that moment.

“A spectacle like no other,�� is what her mother used to say. “I always liked to believe that the aurora is our ancestors in Sovngarde gazing down at us. Watching as we live up to their legacies. Perhaps I have been shunned for following my own path as opposed to the one that had been set out before me, but I don’t regret it for a second. Besides... I know for certain that our ancestors would be proud of you, El, and that’s all I could ever ask for.”

She had to quickly bring her sleeve up to her face to wipe away the tears building in the corners of her eyes, the snapping of a branch under the foot of one of her current companions bringing her back to reality. Her mother had done it no justice in her descriptions of the night sky in Skyrim, and if her beliefs were true... Then perhaps Ingja was up there and watching over her at that very moment.

“There isn’t much, but it looks as though those bandits had caught some salmon to eat... I gathered some snowberries too, if fish isn’t to your taste,” Ralof sighed as he took a seat beside her, a wooden plate clattering into the grass before him with the food in question. “Hadvar is refusing to take the stick out of his backside to sit down and eat, which means all the more for-“

A tut came from behind her as Hadvar approached the fire, his decision to stand at the opposite side to Ralof possibly bring an unconscious one, but quite notable to Elyse. Those two quite obviously knew each other since before the arrests at the border.

“If I get seen in the company of a Stormcloak by any survivors from the Imperial Legion-“ There was an edge to his voice, one which almost sounded fearful, “-then both she and I are dead.”

“Helgen is already little more than ashes. Do you honestly believe that any soldiers are going to be coming up the road now? They’re no doubt in Falkreath, Riverwood, or dead.”

“... If Riverwood hasn’t also been attacked by the dragon, that is.”

There was a tension in the air which made Elyse squirm as she reached out to take a small handful of the berries which Ralof had gathered, her eyes flicking between the pair. Ralof’s fists were clenching at the fabric of his trousers, whereas Hadvar’s throat silently bobbed before he slowly sat down and closed his eyes.

After a few moments had passed, she began to eat the snowberries and found herself quite disappointed that they didn’t taste quite as sweet as a Cyrodilic strawberry... yet at the same time incredibly relieved. It was the first thing she had ate since crossing the border beyond a stale piece of bread taken from the storage room in Helgen’s keep during their escape from the dragon, and it had been growing harder and harder to ignore the pangs in her stomach.

She reached the last berry all too soon, though she certainly wasn’t expecting a quiet chuckle from Hadvar at the grumble she let out at that realisation.

“You must’ve needed that.”

The Perfect Storm snippet (chapter 18)

There was something which Balgruuf found rather enjoyable about the simple act of roaming the streets of the city as time passed and the evening slowly transitioned into night, with little more than idle conversation about anything and everything to keep them entertained. Elyse would on occasion have something catch her eye, most often little pieces of jewellery or old-looking books, though didn't actually buy anything. Whenever he asked why she didn't want to indulge, even if just for one night, she would simply smile at him and say that good company was all that she needed for the night to be memorable, not a souvenir. That books and jewellery could be bought at any time, unlike a chance to unwind.

Before long, he started to become aware of the time, and let out a deep breath. It was dark by that point, with the faint glow of candles and lanterns across the streets keeping the city lit even as night took Whiterun firmly into its grasp.

"Elyse… I must apologise, but I have something which I need to do before I return to Dragonsreach, so I am going to have to leave now," he stated, placing a hand on her shoulder and stopping her in her tracks as they strolled around the festival.

Turning to face him, he saw a clear dismay – possibly even hurt - across her features. She had clearly been enjoying herself, he had never quite seen her so lively before spending time with her that evening even if most of what they did was just walking and chatting. “Already?”

“I’m afraid so,” he sighed, bringing his hand up to “Though do feel free to stay here for longer, the festivities are set to continue into the early hours..."

Elyse’s face shifted to an expression that came across much more neutral than it had done moments earlier, before she nodded. “Fair enough... Do you have plans or something?”

“You could say so... I have something which I need to purchase before I return to Dragonsreach, and festival or no, I have business to attend to in the morning. A growing pile of paperwork that I have neglected after spending much of my time on audiences, arranging all of this, and...” He trailed off, pursing his lips together as he made a quiet but frustrated hum. Thankfully, she didn’t pry about what had gone unspoken, having been a first-hand witness to what he was referring to.

Elyse quietly wrapped her coat around herself more tightly as a particularly frigid gust of wind cut through the streets, before the smile which she had previously held returned to her face. “If you have the chance, you really should stop by the stall selling those tarts before heading back. The fact that almost nobody seemed to be buying them when I got mine was an absolute travesty."

He raised an eyebrow. "That sounds rather dramatic for tarts."

"It's hardly dramatic enough! You can’t deny that they were delicious."

He couldn’t help but shake his head and chuckle at her exclamation, not exactly in agreement with her opinion – still feeling that grainy yet syrupy texture from the fruit filling in his mouth - but finding her enthusiasm almost endearing.

In spite of his need to leave, they remained stood there for a further few moments, a comfortable quiet having settled between them. It was only broken by a distant cheer from the marketplace.

"So... see you next year then?"

Balgruuf stared at Elyse with dumbfounded confusion, taking in little more than the grin plastered across her face, before letting out an amused snort when he realised what she meant. "Yes, Elyse. I will see you next year. Enjoy your night."

After he had turned around and began to walk in the direction that they had originally come from, the strangest feeling began to creep in. One which made his gut feel as though it were twisting and churning, something which was wholly uncomfortable… He could only assume that it was that sickly tart hitting his stomach.