#seeking assistance

[pochiyaki]

Help Pochi Get Their Service Dog Trained

I am seeking assistance in getting Sata my psychiatric service dog trained and initially set up with a vet and supplies! This will be a huge help in improving my health and wellness. Please share or support if you can! https://gofund.me/2a4aef13

[homo-sick]

Theoretically looking for help w my mspfa . Included is a serious of sketches n some finished stuff. Primarily plot involved alot of toxic abusive and pedo relationships and the slow healing process which is pushed along by a rebellion and also textile innovations for some reason??

Its a alternative version of alternian history . Also heres some character things

Jekiyn, tealblood, 9.5 sweeps (19) User: TexiliicBerylian TB

Fabium, indigoblood, 28 sweeps (56) User: SicklyGhoul SG

Corpum, blueblood, 8 sweeps (16) User: GhastlyHeroine GH

Tresul, bronzeblood, 8 sweeps (16) User: PeculiarTerra PT

Bilvix, limeblood, 10.5 sweeps (21) User: FreshtechFreedom FF

Ginsig, fuchsiablood, 5 sweeps (10) User: HopefulHyacinth HH

[radiantisgabriel]

!!! URGENT !!! - family of three facing homelessness

!!!!! GOFUNDME LINK !!!!!!

hello everyone! of course this is not my usual sort of posting, but i have something i would like to bring to attention.

my good friend Mare and their family are at risk of going homeless if they cannot make rent by next week. if they are evicted, they will have nowhere else to go.

please please please consider donating if you can! if you can't donate, please share this around. i know i don't have a big account or whatever but i was hoping this would at least give me enough reach. also if anyone knows any ways that i can further boost this post, please let me know.

thank you for your time.

[haaaaahnnnnn]

[one-shitpost-a-day]

tf are these called

[squareofshape]

i don't care how neat a program is or how much it might improve my life. if it sneaks its way into my computer on top of a regular software update like some kind of fucking digital deer tick, it's a delete on sight. kill kill kill. nobody but ME decides what programs get installed on MY computer. fuck all the way off

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[idalenn]

"This 'clean' heroism you're going on about exists only in fables. You know what those are, don't you? Fables, fae tales, fabrications, fireside stories, whatever miqo'te call them; climb the tower and save the girl, if it pleases you, tomorrow the king locks up another. Mark my words."

[pochiyaki]

Checkout my Throne wishlist! Now with more Sata related items! Snacks, Food, Toys, and helpful items for her overall health. Any contributions are greatly appreciated! throne.com/pochiyaki #throne

[noblessyousforgiacomo]

Tumblr Hall of Fame post about how daddy issues make you a people pleaser but mommy issues make you a sociopath is so Dick Grayson and Jason Todd coded.

[i-am-but-a-beta-fish]

keep forgetting to post about this but!!! IT'S HERE!!!!! i am now a card-carrying member of the battle subway and i could NOT be happier about it—i've got official cards for Real Life Things that are less high-quality than this. tysm @wildkimiko!!

[kindaorangey]

in the aftermath of s2 there has been a lot of discussion (and mind-numbing discourse, but yes, some interesting discussion) over who is worse, lestat or armand, and regardless of your opinions on it i think it's fair to say the question of "who is worse?" has so far been inextricable from the question of "who is worse for louis?" and, in that regard, in s3 it will be very interesting to see lestat and armand duke it out with each other, so we can see who they are when louis isn't involved.

[obi-wann-cannoli]

Rewatching Ready or Not 2019 and I keep wondering if it was possible for both the bride and groom to survive the night.

He doesn’t die until *after* she requests a divorce. It could just be the timing of the curse, it’s just not instant for the whole family, but it could also be that if he had helped her they *both* would’ve survived.

[kittytamasings]

Seeking help with $300 payment to grandpa by the 15th to keep peace under our roof

TL;DR I'm seeking $300 by the 15th to pay my grandpa so we can appease him and keep him off our backs while mom is away from home recovering from health issues. It's urgently needed so he won't call mom's phone to torture her over the payment. I want to make our burdens a little lighter with your help. More details below.

Life has turned upside down since last month. Mom experienced a mini stroke which led to her hospitalization. She did pull through and is now recovering her physical strength in the skilled nursing facility in preparation to come home, but she's had a host of various issues going on which contributed to her health issues.

She survived, but if she wasn't hospitalized when she was, she would have died that next morning. With much of my adult life being centered on caregiving for mom basically full-time, I've had to adjust my own lifestyle in the meantime which has been quite a challenge.

It's been a very stressful month navigating home life without her here. I'm not sure when exactly she's coming back home, but mom has been making amazing progress.

Meanwhile, poppy continues to be horrible to us. He says rude things, he makes passive aggressive moves at us in the form of leaving profanity-riddled handwritten notes on the door of his wardrobe in his bedroom or being passive aggressive things aren't clean enough to his standards. The usual. He hasn't been any nicer to us even knowing mom has been recovering and he even called up to the hospital to torment her a few times too. Sure, sometimes he'd be decent but there's almost always a catch with him when he's trying to butter people up.

To say I'm mentally drained is an understatement. But right now, while we are still figuring out moving stuff, it's taken a bit of a backseat to Mom's sudden stroke and other health issues. We'll be starting from basically the ground up when she comes home in terms of getting adjusted to home life once more with her back. I'm aiming for the $300 poppy needs for monthly payment stuff by the 15th. This will prevent him from being any worse to us as we try to take things day by day here awaiting mom's return home. I'm just trying to keep some peace under this roof and this is the big way to do that even if he's super critical and rude all the time.

It is a lot to ask for in a matter of four days, but think of it this way: if two people sent along $150, I'd hit my goal fairly quick. Or if three people donated $100. Regardless, any amount helps and gets me much much closer to my goal of being able to pay poppy so he can chill out and not be so awful to us while we're stuck living under his roof a while longer and adjusting to life. Please boost with reposts and such, I'm working really hard on things but I need to lean on others in these hard times. It's urgently needed by the 15th. This will also take stress off mom's shoulders because she's away from home still and poppy WILL call her cell phone to harass her if we don't appease him. You couldn't begin to understand if you don't live in this situation, all I ask for is compassion. Thank you for reading all this. Times have been scary and challenging but I'm trying my best to take them a day at a time.

[gaasublarb]

My family can't afford to pay the power bill and it's been cold af so if anyone could send any asist it would be amazing.

We're short $105

Cash app $Gaasuba

PayPal gaasuba@gmail.com

DM me if you wanna commission art or something. Art blog is @gaasuba

[trans-axolotl]

some of Eli Clare's writing about diagnosis feels very relevant to discussions on tumblr right now:

"It’s impossible to grapple with cure without encountering white Western medical diagnosis—ink on paper in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders and the International Classification of Diseases, a process in the hands of doctors, a system of categorization. I want to read diagnosis as a source of knowledge, sometimes trustworthy and other times suspect. As a tool and a weapon shaped by particular belief systems, useful and dangerous by turns. As a furious storm, exerting pressure in many directions.

Simply put, diagnosis wields immense power. It can provide us access to vital medical technology or shame us, reveal a path toward less pain or get us locked up. It opens doors and slams them shut.

Diagnosis names the conditions in our body-minds, charts the connections between them. It holds knowledge. It organizes visceral realities. It draws borders and boundaries, separating fluid in the lungs from high blood pressure, ulcers from kidney stones, declaring anxiety attacks distinct from heart attacks, post-traumatic stress disconnected from depression. It legitimizes some pain as real; it identifies other pain as psychosomatic or malingering. It reveals little about the power of these borders and boundaries. Through its technology—x-rays, MRIs, blood draws, EKGs, CAT scans—diagnosis transforms our three-dimensional body-minds into two-dimensional graphs and charts, images on light boards, symptoms in databases, words on paper. It holds history and creates baselines. It predicts the future and shapes all sorts of decisions. It unleashes political and cultural forces. At its best, diagnosis affirms our distress, orients us to what’s happening in our body-minds, helps make meaning out of chaotic visceral experiences.

But diagnosis rarely stays at its best. It can also disorient us or de- value what we know about ourselves. It can leave us with doubts, questions, shame. It can catapult us out of our body-minds. All too often diagnosis is poorly conceived or flagrantly oppressive. It is brandished as authority, our body-minds bent to match diagnostic criteria rather than vice versa. Diagnosis can become a cover for what health care providers don’t understand; become more important than our messy visceral selves; become the totality of who we are.

...

It is impossible to name all the ways in which diagnosis is useful.

It propels eradication and affirms what we know about our own body-minds. It extends the reach of genocide and makes meaning of the pain that keeps us up night after night. It allows for violence in the name of care and creates access to medical technology, human services, and essential care. It sets in motion social control and guides treatment that provides comfort. It takes away self-determination and saves lives. It disregards what we know about our own body-minds and leads to cure.

Diagnosis is useful, but for whom and to what ends?"

-Eli Clare, Brilliant Imperfection pg 41-42, 48.