#mostly so she could say the divorce line

[obi-wann-cannoli]

Rewatching Ready or Not 2019 and I keep wondering if it was possible for both the bride and groom to survive the night.

He doesn’t die until *after* she requests a divorce. It could just be the timing of the curse, it’s just not instant for the whole family, but it could also be that if he had helped her they *both* would’ve survived.

[athenamikaelson]

Klaus Mikaelson x Reader!Soulmate x Elijah Mikaelson PART 4

Word Count- 3.1k

Warnings- Swearing, spoilers obi.

My fingers graze the texture of my history textbook. My eyes read through each line. Before I know it I’m at the end of the page, and yet I can’t recall a single sentence I had just “read.” I let out a loud sigh and closed the book, placing it back in place on my desk. Ever since the day I got kidnapped this has been a problem. Without being on edge, I can’t focus on school work, the people around me, or myself. Every time I walk by someone I instantly tense up to the idea of them being something supernatural. I know that Elena has told me everyone in town that she knows is a part of that world but she can’t possibly know when a complete stranger is. 

Worrying about who is supernatural isn’t the only thing that’s been plaguing my thoughts, either. All night I was tossing and turning with the thought of Elijah. Damon and Elena knew as much as I did about how he was still alive. Elena had told me that a vampire could be killed with a wooden stake, and yet it had only affected Elijah temporarily. 

“He’s going to destroy you.”

Kathrine’s words ring in my ears. Stefan had told me not to believe a word she says, but given that these people don’t seem to know what the hell is going on either, I’ve let her words get to me. The look of fear in her eyes at the thought strikes me to my core every time I think back to it. If a vampire that is magically locked up is afraid of this Elijah guy, then I sure as hell will be too. 

I jump slightly in shock as I hear knocking on my door, I untense when I hear my mother’s voice on the other side though. 

“Y/N, you have a friend here to see you,” I stand up and open my door to talk to her but freeze when I see Damon standing behind her. His lips curve up into a smirk and moves his fingers up and down in a wave as he stares at me.

“Your friend Damon here is so kind to drop in to check on you. I had no idea you were feeling under the weather.” 

I glance at my mother and fight the urge to roll my eyes. Although we look so much alike I couldn’t be more different from her. Where I actually take the time to listen to people and try to understand people my mother seems to only care about what benefits her. I’m not surprised at all that she hasn’t noticed my change in attitude these past few days since she never seemed to care before. 

She clears her throat at the silence she gets from me, “Well, I’ll let you talk. I have to be going anyways,” She turns to Damon who fakes a smile at her, “I have a work trip this weekend.”

“Work on the weekends, well that’s no fun,” Damon responds with a flirtatious tone that makes me want to gag. My mother on the other hand turns red.

“No worries, I always find a way to liven things up,” She leans closer to him, “Even though it would be more fun with some company.”

“Mom, you should be going now,” I interrupt before I throw up on both of them. 

My mother nods and says her goodbyes to both of us, mostly Damon, and walks back down the hallway. I let out a sigh of relief but then tense up when I realized that Damon had just entered my room.

“What are you doing here,” I watch as he looks around my small room. After my mother and father’s divorce, my mother wasn’t left with very much money so we had to make do with what we could scrounge up. After moving and divorce costs we left with a tiny 3 bedroom 1 bath single story home here in Mystic Falls. It looks like a shoe box compared to the other houses in this town, but I don’t really care since I plan to move away from here the second I graduate. 

“I need a favor,” Damon says to me as he picks up the stuffed frog I have on my bed and tosses it around in his hands. 

“What kind of favor?”

Damon places the frog back on my bed, “Well, after your and Elena’s little suicide excursion yesterday we’ve magically locked her in her house, and I need you Pukerella to go babysit.” 

I send him a glare at the nickname, “If Elena’s locked in her house why do you need me to babysit her?”

Damon rolls his shoulders and walks towards the door, “I don’t need you to do anything. I want you to go to Elena’s and let me know if she plans on calling the big bad vampire to come sacrifice her.” 

“So you want me to be your spy?”

Damon thinks at the question for a moment before shrugging his shoulders, “Ya, pretty much.”

I shake my head, “I’m not going to spy on my only friend.”

Damon lets out an annoyed groan and pinches the bridge of his nose as if this is the most annoying conversation he’s had, “Fine then you won’t be my spy, you’ll be the babysitter I hired for Elena. There happy? Now come on I got other stuff to do today other than arguing with you, people to go kill and stuff like that you know?”

Damon grabs me by my upper arm and practically drags me out of my room and down the hallway toward the front door. He ignores my yells of anger as he opens the door to his car and pretty much pushes me in. I huff as he speeds over to his side and starts the car.

“Oh and by the way,” I slowly turn my head to glare at him as he starts talking, “You might want to get some vervain for yourself and your family. It was too easy getting your mother to invite me into your quaint home.” 

—-

“We could watch Pretty Woman?” Elena asks Jeremy and I as we sit on the couch. Jeremy lets out a loud groan at the question making Elena laugh.

“Guess not,” She flips through some more channels before she lets out a sound of excitement, “Oh! Grease!” Elena goes to play the movie but Jeremy snatches the remote from her hand.

“No way, not happening. I have seen that movie far too many times because of you and Mom. I’m going to decide.”

It takes Jeremy another 10 minutes to scroll through the channels deciding on a movie. Every time he picks one Elena disagrees and they start arguing over it until they start searching again. This has pretty much been what we’ve been doing for the whole hour in which I’ve been at the Gilbert residence. After Damon kicked me out of his car and drove off I’ve just been listening to the Gilbert siblings argue. It’s not that bad though. Jenna, Jeremy and Elena’s aunt, supplied us with snacks a bunch of snacks before she had to leave for something she had to go do.

“Aha!”

I turn to the TV to see what Jeremy picked and cringe as I see the beginning credits for “The Human Centipede.”

Elena’s sound of disgust mirrors mine as she stands up, “This is no use. Y/N do you just want to go up to my room?” 

I glance at the TV again momentarily and nod my head, “Defiantly.”

—

“You’ve got to read this book I just got,” Elena jumps up from her spot on the floor next to me and goes to her bookshelf, “The romance in it is so steamy and the main male character in it is so hot!” She stops and blushes at what she just said.

“Don’t tell Stefan,” She points at me.

I laugh as I bring my fingers to my lips and pretend to lock them, “You’re secret is safe with me.”

Elena and I had been making small talk until I had mentioned that I liked reading, which caught her attention. She had told me she does too and we began talking about our favorite books and genres. To which we found out we’re both fans of romance, jumpstarting an hour-long discussion. 

Elena sits back down next to me and hands me her book. I strum through the pages.

“I’ll make sure to read it and let you know what I think.”

She nods and looks away as if in thought, “I can’t believe we didn’t become friends earlier. Why is that?” 

Her question has me stirring uncomfortably, “Honestly I’m not that surprised. I’m not that noticeable.” 

This comment has Elena furrowing her eyebrows and shaking her head, “You’re joking right,” At my look of confusion she continues, “Of course I noticed you. I mean when you come to a small town like this it’s hard not to be noticed but what I mean is that I always thought you were cool.”

I can feel my cheeks warm up at her compliment and I glance down at my fingers to hide it.

“You thought I was cool?”

“Ya of course,” She responds instantly, “You’ve got great style and you’ve got this mysterious aura about you. I just never approached you because I thought you didn’t like me.” 

Her confession has me looking up and frowning, “Why would you think that?”

She shrugs her shoulders, “You just kind of sometimes look like you don’t want to be approached by anyone. I just assumed. I’m sorry.”

I shake my head at her apology, “Don’t apologize! And no, I never hated you I always thought you were the cool one. I just think I have that look on my face all the time.”

Elena laughs and smiles at me, “OK, good.”

“Good.”

We’re about to start talking about books again when we hear the front door open.

“Jenna must be home,” Elena says as she stands up and reaches her hand down for me to grab. I grab it and pull myself up and we walk downstairs. 

We turn the corner and we both give each other a look as we see Jenna on the ground rummaging through some boxes. 

“Hey. What are you doing,” Elena questions her Aunt.

“Oh perfect timing,” She grabs a cardboard box and hands it to Elena, and then gives another to me.

“Whoa. Oh. What is this stuff?”

“Your mom’s files from the historical society. I got roped into helping Mrs. Lockwood,” Jenna grabs her box and stands up, “And by roped, I mean very excited to participate.”

I silently laugh as I try to balance the heavy box in my arms, the laughing stops though once Jenna closes the door and I lock eyes with the man who’s been haunting my every waking thought. 

“Hey, I’m Elijah.”

Elena and I stand there frozen as we watch Jenna interact with the vampire. 

“Elijah’s in town doing research on Mystic Falls,” She introduces us not knowing we’ve already had the displeasure of meeting. 

I freeze up and grip the box I’m holding tighter to my chest as Elijah walks closer to us. He quickly greets Elena, skating her hand before turning his full attention onto me. I’m visibly shaking right now and it only worsens as Elijah reaches his hands up and grabs the box from my hands. His fingers grazed mine for longer than needed. 

“Here let me take this,” He places the box back down and reaches his hand up to me in greeting. 

We both stand there looking at each other for what seems like forever as he waits for me to shake his hand.

“I don’t like being touched,” I blurt out. Elijah slowly lowers his hand and I might be mistaken but from the look on his face, he almost appeared saddened by that. 

Jenna joins us again telling Elijah that he can stay here and rummage through the boxes, to which he turns down. I try to find the wall behind Elena interesting to keep my line of sight away from the vampire, but I can still sense him staring at me. After another moment he tells Jenna he’s going to have someone pick up the boxes tomorrow and bids Jenna and Elena a farewell. I almost think he’s left us but when I look back over I find that Elijah has moved even closer and he gives me a warm smile and leans down.

“I hope to speak with you again soon, Miss Y/L/N.” My chest starts moving up and down rapidly, which he seems to have noticed, as I nod at his words. He doesn’t seem to get that I won’t be saying anything back to him because he stands there staring at my face. After what seems like a lifetime I watch as he moves by me towards the front door, but not before he lifts a finger and grazes the end of my sweater. 

I watch with bated breath as he shuts the door behind him. Elena doesn’t waste any time before dragging me up the stairs and banging on Jeremy’s door. As she goes to open the door I feel a hand grab my waist and pull me. My back hits something strong and I go to squeal but it comes out muffled as a hand moves over my mouth. I look up and freeze as I stare up at Elena to whom he motions to be quiet. I hear Jeremy open his door but I can’t focus on any of the words he’s saying as I watch Elijah’s face. I make note of the light stubble that runs across his jawline and the practically flawless skin he has. Lucky ass vampires. My staring must’ve caught his attention, as his dark brown eyes meet mine. Once again the corners of his lips turn upwards into a small smile as he watches me watch him. 

Jeremy walking by us catches my attention and Elijah drops the hand from my mouth, but not before leaning down, and what I could’ve sworn was sniffing my hair. Elena quickly grabs my hand and pulls me away from Elijah and for a second I almost feel annoyed at this. Clearly not as annoyed as Elijah though was lets out a snarl, making Elena go rigid. 

“What do you want?”

Elijah composes himself once, “I think it’s time we three at a little chat.”

—-

“Forgive the intrusion. I mean your family no harm,” Elijah tells Elena as he walks around her room.

“Why did you kill those vampires when they tried to take me,” Elena questions him as she comes to sit down next to me on her bed. 

“Because I didn’t want you to be taken,” Elijah says confusing both Elena and I, “Klaus is the most feared and hated of the Originals but those who fear him are desperate for his approval. If word gets out that the doppelganger exists there’ll be a line of vampires eager to take you to him and I can’t have that.”

A cold feeling runs up and down my spine at the mention of Klaus. 

“Isn’t that exactly what you’re trying to do,” Elena questions him again. 

“Let’s just say that my goal is not to break the curse.”

My eyebrows furrow in confusion at the confession. Elijah looks at Elena and then brings his eyes towards me for a moment before turning back to Elena as she begins speaking. 

“So what is your goal?”

“Klaus’ obsessions have made in paranoid. He’s a recluse. He trusts only those in his immediate circle.”

“Like you?”

“Not anymore.”

“An old ass paranoid vampire, how much better could this be,” I whisper out loud to myself sarcastically. I look up and see Elijah looking at me with a small smirk on his face as he must’ve heard my comment. 

“You don’t know where he is do you,” Elena questions but he doesn’t turn his gaze away from me, “So you’re trying to use me to draw him out.” 

Elijah lets out a sigh as he turns his attention back towards my friend, “Well, to do that I need you to stay put and stop trying to get yourself killed.”

He gives her a smile and I have to stop myself from smiling at it. 

“How do I know you’re telling the truth?”

“Well, if I wasn’t being truthful, all your family would be dead and I’d be taking you to Klaus right now. Instead… I’m here and I’m prepared to offer you a deal.”

And the smile was instantly gone. 

This grabs Elena’s attention, “What kind of a deal?”

Elijah stands up and starts walking around, “Do nothing. Do nothing, live your life, stop fighting. And then, when the time is right, you and I shall draw Klaus out together and I shall make certain that your friends remain unharmed.”

“And then what?”

“Then I kill him.”

“Just like that?”

Elijah smirks at her, “Just like that. I’m a man of my word, Elena. I make a deal, I keep a deal.”

“How are you going to be able to keep everybody safe?”

“You know, I notice you have a friend, Bonnie, is it? She seems to possess the gift of magic. I have friends with similar gifts.”

“You know witches.” Elena nods her head to which I fight the urge to say “duh” to. This guy is oldddd, of course, he knows witches. 

“Together we can protect everybody that matters to you.” 

I watch silently as Elijah walks over to Elena and reaches his hand out for her to shake, “So do we have a deal?”

“As long as you keep my friends safe,” Elena looks over to me, “Y/N is one of those friends.” 

Elijah looks over to me and smirks, “Trust me deal or no deal. No one will be laying a finger on Y/N. That I give you my word on.”

I fidget under his intense stare.  

“I need you to do one more thing for me.”

Elijah turns back to face Elena with an incredulous look, “We’re negotiating now?”

Elena tells Elijah she’ll accept his deal if he gets his witches to free Stefan from some vampire tomb he’s been trapped in. Why has no one told me this yet? Elijah reluctantly agrees and they shake hands, cementing their deal. With one last glance toward me, Elijah nods his head and speeds away. 

Elena and I both let out shaking breaths as we stared at each other. 

“Any chance you want to spend the night,” Elena asks me hopefully with a sheepish look.

I nod my head quickly, “My mom is out of town and my brother’s at a sleepover. There’s no way in hell I’m going back to that empty house tonight.” 

[clockwayswrites]

I made myself sad with the last part of ‘City Pigeons Bleed Green’ and the whole Annalise thing (and then shared it to make all of you sad too). It wound back to me saying in a server, mostly joking, that now I need to make an AU of my AU where Annalise lives. And as @any-mouse pointed out here by themselves: this crossover is full of realms. And then I showered and had too many thoughts. So have some of them here!

Bruce and Annalise met at boarding school. Not the same boarding school, obviously, how crass. They went to an all boys and all girls school respectively, but they were ‘sibling’ schools and so would hold certain events together. Annalise was an awkward girl, all limbs. She was too tall, too smart, too in the clouds. She was weird. But so was Bruce. He decided they could be the weird kids together.

They became something of confidants for each other—for all the secret things inside themselves no one else would understand, not really.

They didn’t run in exactly the same circles, the Wayne line was far more grand than the Linwood line, but Bruce did his best to stay in touch even as they grew up. That fell apart some when training and Batman consumed his life. That’s when Annalise, in an effort to be normal ended up making some poor decisions and listening to the wrong people.

In the AU of the AU, Bruce asks her to visit before the baby is born. As recklessly caring as he can be, he offered to say he was the child’s father. He would either set Annalise and the baby up to be comfortable, or they could get married. Divorce was always an option later, should either of them find real love. Of course Bruce insists on the best doctors and they find what was missed: a risk to the lives of both Annalise and the baby.

Bruce and Annalise basically end up in a queer platonic relationship together, raising ‘their’ child.

Instead of playboy Brucie, Bruce’s cover becomes that of the slightly hapless but very loving dad. Why on earth is he so fit then? Well, he spends so much time chasing after children! After all they adopted that circus boy, how patient with Bruce Annalise is. Not to mention the other several—wait, when did they get so many?

Well, see, they took in a child from the streets, yes, Park Row, awful place—though better now with the Martha Wayne Foundation’s efforts. And then there was that whole thing when Annalise found out that Tim Drake was being horrible neglected. Such big hears that family.

And when Dick is feeling stifled, he has a little sibling to focus on. To be useful to. (And Annalise has long talks with Bruce.)

And when Jason finds out about Catherine, Annalise is there—a mother to talk to. (And Annalise has long talks with Bruce.)

(And Annalise has long talks with Bruce.)

And one little hilarious scene in my head:

Jim stared up the steps of Wayne manner. Officer Montoya stared back. She was clearly off the clock. Her hair down and dressed more casually than Jim had ever seen. He didn’t know Montoya could do casual. He supposed casual made sense though, considering the hickies on her neck. Jim pinched the bridge of his nose. “Please tell me you’re not sleeping with Bruce Wayne.” “What?! Ew, no. Not ew as in—I’m sure he’s very attractive to people into that but no. No, I am definitely not sleeping with Bruce Wayne.” "Well, that's a relief—" “I am, however, sleeping with his wife.”

[tealvenetianmask]

Hell's royalty has a culture that enables Stella's abusive behavior.

Point 1: Keeping up appearances is valued above all else. And I specifically mean the appearance of things being the way they're supposed to be. Conformity basically.

Conformity in this culture seems to include a kind of stoic dignity ("you know excitement is unbecoming of a goetia"), an air of superiority ("don't bow to that one- he bows to us!"), and, of course, some good old fashioned toxic masculinity ("cease this bitch crying").

Individuals at the very top are not immune. Even though he gets past it, Asmodeus seems to spend a lot of time and effort on keeping his relationship with Fizz quiet in order to keep up the appearance of fulfilling his "lust" role.

Point 2: The members of the aristocracy who don't conform are seen as the problem, not the members who are being cruel.

Speaking of Ozzie, there's a chance he'll face real consequences for getting out of line . . . Mammon seems pretty confident about getting revenge. Also, if Ozzie had decided that his reputation was important enough to avoid stepping in to help his partner, well . . . I'm just saying. Cultures of conformity create bystanders who stand by and let abuse happen. So it's good that this guy has the courage (and a good heap of privilege and power) to enable him to step out. Yes, I realize that the crowd at Mammon's celebrated Ozzie and Fizz, but the crowd was distinctly NOT aristocratic.

Now look at Stella's party- this woman is not subtle about being cruel to her husband.

She calls the party a "Not Divorced" party. She openly talks negatively about Stolas in a blatant attempt to humiliate him. She's not trying to hide that she hates the man.

Because he's . . . an oddball. Gentle, not as polished as others in his social sphere, awkward and mostly friendless, probably autistic. And importantly, I think, not traditionally masculine.

So Stella has no need to hide that she treats him poorly. She's proud of it. And her social circle seems to support her in it, or at least, they don't push back. Because based on the aristocracy's unspoken (or if we look at Paimon, very much spoken) value system, Stolas's failure to fulfill all of his expected roles gracefully is worse than Stella's cruelty.

Point 3: Stolas's parenting, while much better than his own father's, still reflects this value system in some ways, and that's . . . complicated.

In some ways, Octavia is doing great. She has her own interests (music! gothy fashion!) that don't seem to be based on any role prescribed to her by others. She has a genuine bond with her dad that's based on care and not on molding her into some ideal princess.

But Stolas still puts on an facade in front of Via. We know that he pretended things were fine when they distinctly weren't for most of her childhood. We could argue endlessly about whether Stolas was right (as Georgia Dow explained in her video) or wrong to stop himself from explaining the situation with Stella to Via in Loo Loo Land, but honestly, the man could let his nearly grown up daughter know that abuse was happening without all out trauma dumping. It would enable her to make more informed decisions, and I think she would want to be able to do that.

Instead, Stolas keeps it to himself. Because he feels like Via SHOULD have this picture perfect childhood. Look at the pictures that are up in his palace. Look at his attempt to gloss over the fighting in the household by taking Via to an idealized childhood destination.

A part of him still thinks that good parenting is keeping up appearances, and that the ugly things are best kept hidden. Look at how hard he still tries to avoid crying in front of people. The values he was taught as a child are part of him.

And while it's not his fault (it's Stella's fault, obviously- these are HER actions), his inability to be open allows Stella and Andrealphus to scheme and (we'll see . . .) probably manipulate Via because of her lack of knowledge.

We're meant to see the moments where Stolas breaks expectations and behaves raw and even a little unhinged as triumphant. Sleeping with Blitz. That is the sound of a fucking divorce. Actually going through with the fucking divorce. Insisting on it. Appearances be damned.

And yeah, more of that please. Because if the people around Stella stop caring about aristocratic social trappings, all she'll have going for her is her shitty personality.

Thanks @akirathedramaqueen for inspiring this post with a conversation.

[klausysworld]

Hello gorgeous!

Sooo I had this idea of Klaus and reader being married (she wants a divorce) but currently separated. She starts seeing Damon. Klaus lets her have her way for a bit as nothing has crossed the line, but then he finds out reader slept with Damon and Klaus goes absolutely feral over it and tells his wife that’s enough of this and drags back reader home and slides her wedding ring back on her finger.

Not His, Not Yours.

Klaus and I had slowly but surely grown apart.

We had married for decades for now, just over a century actually and to begin with it was all but a dream.

He had hundreds of thousands of gifts and words to express his love. Paintings and poems to show how pure his feelings were.

He was gentle when I needed and only ever rough when I wanted when him to be.

There wasn’t a question of doubt between us both. I loved him with all of my heart and he loved me with all of his soul. So much so that he actually proposed to me. Elijah and Rebekah couldn’t believe it but were unbelievably supportive. I even turned into a vampire so that I could be with him forever.

And for a nearly eighty years, everything was okay.

Of course the gifts were less frequent but I didn’t care about that so much. Not if I still had him. Even if he forgot to tell me he loved me, I didn’t need him to, deep down I knew that he did.

One thing I didn’t like, was when he would get flirty with other women. Especially because of how he behaved when I, heaven forbid, smiled at a man.

But still, with reassurance from his siblings and Elijah’s promise to talk to Klaus about it, I dropped it and didn’t speak of it. So he flirted, it didn’t mean anything. What’s a kiss when I have his heart?

Surprisingly Klaus never slept with anyone else. I suppose it’s unfair to say surprisingly but to be honest I had feared and expected him to have from time to time.

Especially when he became more distant. When he would disappear or return in the early hours of the morning. I would beg to know where he was and after a series of repeated yelling, he would grab me and show me his memories of the night before. Often he just got drunk and would pass out somewhere random or wonder around for inspiration, sometimes he’d attack a village and slaughter hundreds in mere hours. When finished showing me, he would give me that same look and tell me that I shouldn’t look so surprised. He may love me, but he wouldn’t ever be better for me.

And I would just nod and told him I already knew that.

And I’d wait for the next time that would happen.

We went days between sex, then weeks, gradually months and eventually we just didn’t. We slept beside each other mostly out of habit but we wouldn’t touch.

I never stopped loving him, I don’t think I ever could but I wasn’t sure if I loved him the same way anymore. And I certainly didn’t think he loved me that way. But we weren’t exactly friends either. It were as though we were just strangers at this point, strangers who held each others hearts.

And I had accepted that perhaps that’s all we would be. We lived that way for a couple of years, I’d stay with him like a shadow but that’s all I would be.

Until Mystic Falls.

So much happened in not enough time. Klaus became his true self and for some reason part of me thought perhaps that would rekindle something but he showed no more nor less interest so I just went on.

Until one day, his eyes held a spark. But it wasn’t for me. It was for Caroline Forbes.

She was blonde, young and new to vampirism but still bold and confident in herself. I was like that once, before I grew quiet and obedient to Klaus’s will.

So I took another step back and let him chase her a little. I sort of wanted him to sleep with her so that maybe he would just divorce me and I would know that what we had was really over.

But he didn’t. He gave her a present, drawings and spoke poetry to her without her realising but he didn’t kiss her or even lean in.

He still would come back to bed and lay beside me like usual.

I didn’t want him to think I would hate him if he fell for someone else. I’d rather he be happy with another than miserable with me. I knew he craved more, so did I.

And so with a lot of courage, I asked for a divorce but he refused me. That I didn’t understand.

“Why?” I asked, my brows pulling together as he scowled

“Because you’re my wife” he answered as though that meant anything anymore “I have loved you for a century. I will not just be done with you”

“Loved, Klaus. Loved. It’s in the past.” I argued

“I love you now as much as I did then” he told me, his voice raising

“No Klaus…you don’t” I whispered, my eyes glancing to the floor as I let out a small sigh. This was probably one of the reasons he liked Caroline more. I showed weakness and submission too easily to him. The difference was that I knew he wouldn’t kill me if I fought back but I feared it would be worse.

“We’re not getting a divorce. Ever.” He stated calmly, though I could feel his anger.

“I can’t do this Klaus” I mumbled. “I can’t just be known and your wife and hide in the house all the time”

“Then go out” he grumbled

“You don’t let me” I answered, remembering the last time I went out without telling him and he yelled at me for being inconsiderate and stupid. Apparently it wasn’t safe for me without his protection due to being so intimately associated with him.

“Well…now you can” he replied matter of factly.

“You should ask Caroline out” I whispered “She likes you too, Rebekah heard her talking to Bonnie about you”

“I wouldn’t-“

“But maybe you should” I sighed, hesitantly looking him in the eye once again. “You should at least try…you might like to be with someone…” I paused and swallowed dryly “someone else”

“Are you seeing…someone else?” He asked quietly, his eyes flicking between mine.

“No…not yet” I whispered and he nodded

“But?”

“But I think I should” I murmured before falling back into silence.

We stood there for a while, uncomfortable and guilt ridden before his phone went and he reluctantly left.

He didn’t come to bed that night.

To me that seemed like his way of confirming that we wouldn’t be together anymore, or for a while at least.

When I saw he had made up a bed in one of the guest rooms, it was clear that was the case.

So I started to go out a little.

When I saw Klaus with Caroline at the grill, I realised I needed to leave. Leave town, his life so that I didn’t ruin his chances.

But as fate would have it, when I rushed out of the building, I walked straight into Damon Salvatore. He recognised me in an instant and was grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

“What’s Klaus’s wife doing out and about?” He snickered and I sighed

“I’m not” I mumbled and he raised a brow

“Not what? Not his wife or not out?”

“I’m going home” I whispered, walking outside but he followed.

“Oh come on, I didn’t mean to scare you off so quick” he chuckled and I rolled my eyes

“Please. You couldn’t scare me” I muttered “have you seen who I’m supposed to be married to?”

“Supposed to be eh? Things not turning out?” He pressed, walking backwards beside me as I made my way back to the mansion.

“My marriage falling apart won’t benefit your precious Elena. It’s been broken for years.” I grumbled, and he rolled his eyes

“Forgive me for being curious” he muttered, his annoyance shining making my heart sink. I didn’t like it when people were rude and now I was the one doing it.

“Sorry” I whispered “I didn’t mean to sound so snappy”

I could feel his eyes on me as we neared the manner and before I could get it the door, his hand reached for mine which however pathetic it may seem, made my smile. Nobody had touched my skin for months.

“You should come out more, I’d like to talk with you some more” he told me and I faltered

“I wouldn’t tell you anything- not about him”

“I didn’t think you would” he answered, before leaving.

After that I went out a little more.

Damon would tease me and make me laugh. He would draw out the little confidence I had left and have me use it. I’d taunt back at him and go so far as to flirt once I’d had a few drinks.

After a while he asked to take me out. I thought he was joking.

“Oh will Elena be joining us? Perhaps Stefan to?” I laughed but he didn’t even smile

“I’m serious” he stated, his hand squeezing mine “just us…anywhere you want”

I stared at him “I um…I don’t know” I whispered, nervous and confused.

“I can wait” he answered as he caressed my arm softly.

When I got home Klaus was already there, his eyes on me in an instant. Without a word he placed his wedding band on the table before him and walked out the room. I felt a lump form in my throat as I shakily slid both my wedding and engagement rings off and put them beside his.

I went upstairs and cried. And I felt stupid for it because I was the one who asked for this.

So after a moment I pulled myself together and grabbed my phone. I took a breath before sending Damon a message

I like the Italian the next town over?

He replied quickly

Friday, 7?

I’ll meet you there

I’ll see you soon

I swallowed thickly and closed my messages before searching for apartments near me to rent.

If Klaus and I were actually ending this then I wanted to do it right. That meant I needed to live without him fully, so I sent in some applications to a couple of places.

Before any of them could come back, my date with Damon came around.

It went surprisingly well. We ate, spoke, joked and laughed. He paid, insistent that I shouldn’t. He then drove me back to the mansion and kissed me goodbye.

I refused to look anywhere near Klaus when I went up the stairs. He never said anything either, we spoke only if we absolutely had to and on the occasion that Damon and I would see Klaus out, we would instead go to his house for a while.

I spent a lot of time with Damon, he made me feel more alive. He brought back the spark in me that I thought I had lost and built my confidence back up. He made me feel more things in a couple months than Klaus had in the past fifteen years.

I knew it was wrong to compare them, but when all I had ever known was Klaus…he was all I had to know how a relationship worked to be able to tell if what I had with Damon was really something.

It progressed quickly, it scared me somewhat. I worried that it was a trap to make me help him with everyone else. However when I heard him defending me to both Elena and Stefan, I double guessed myself.

Slowly I felt myself begin to trust Damon, I felt as though I was learning to love and desire once more.

It was because of that feeling that I didn’t stop him when he began to take my clothes off. Or when he trailed his lips down my skin and pressed his mouth between my legs. I cried out for him when his fingers curled inside me and I clung to him when he finally took me as his own.

I stayed beside him for the rest of the night, pressed to his chest with his arms around me. It was a warmth that I wasn’t used to anymore but that I needed and yearned for. I stayed at his house for days after, wearing his clothes and living in his arms. But unfortunately I knew that I couldn’t just move in there so soon, so I had to go back to the mansion.

————————————————————————

(3rd person)

Klaus found out that Y/n had slept with Damon the day after it happened. Stefan had told him so when in the heat of an argument.

To begin with he thought the Salvatore was just trying to piss him off but when Stefan’s face dropped and his heart sped up, Klaus realised it was true.

Immediately he went home and smashed every item in her room. Shredded her clothes and tore up every flower Damon had gifted her and the little photos she had printed of them. It was after he broke apart her bed and found the box of forgotten memories did he calm down. He found all the poems and pieces of artwork he had ever given her, love letters and other tokens of their love kept safe and close to her. It broke him.

Klaus never meant for their marriage to deteriorate so badly. He loved Y/n, truly. But throughout the years he got distracted. Whenever his family got to town, his focus was off her and whenever a threat showed up he made a point of being distanced from her to ensure they wouldn’t attack her. After the first few times he’d done that, she got upset and wouldn’t want to kiss him, not when he would go weeks of ignoring her and then expecting her affection.

So he began to drink some more, to forget her touch and her voice for just a moment. But it made everything worse. She began to worry he was cheating on her and to be honest he couldn’t blame her for thinking that but in the moment when she would accuse him, he would be outraged.

He couldn’t stop himself from yelling, being offended and snapping. But after, when he would hear her cries and see her curled up in their bed, he would push himself further away in hopes that he wouldn’t be able to hurt her as much from a distance.

It only got worse.

And now he was on the floor of a room that was once his aswell, crying for his marriage that would no longer last.

Eventually he dragged himself up from the floor and went back to his own room, or rather the spare room that he had been sleeping in. He dug through his drawers to find their rings that he took after they both removed them and put his wedding band back on, smiling sadly at the fond memories of the first time she had put it on him.

He held her rings in his hand tightly as he heard the front door open and closed quietly before soft footsteps sounded up the stairs.

————————————————————————

(1st person)

I moved as quickly but as quietly as I could up to my room. I was in jeans and one of Damons shirts so I really couldn’t let Klaus see me.

Hurriedly I opened my bedroom door only to come to a standstill. Quite literally everything was on the floor. If I didn’t know what Klaus was like, I’d have thought a hurricane had passed through the room. I stared blankly for a moment before I both heard and sensed his presence from beside me.

“What did you do?” I whisper, staring at all the little things that meant so much to me scattered and broken into pieces.

“I don’t want you seeing him” he told me, his voice firm. My head snapped to his and I felt both anger and sadness swirl inside me.

“You ruined everything I have” I uttered, my voice still barely above a whisper

“You slept with him” he stated his tone cold but his eyes showed hurt and I part of em felt guilt but the other side just wanted to smack him.

“And?” I asked, my volume increasing slightly

“And? And you’re mine. You do not get to sleep around-“

“For crying out loud Klaus! I am not yours!” I yell, pointing my finger at him “And I do not sleep around! I slept with one person”

“I should have stopped you seeing him ages ago, this shouldn’t have happened” he muttered

“You can’t control every aspect of my life Klaus. We are not together anymore. We agreed on this” i whispered, my tone tired.

“We have not agreed on anything! I never wanted this-“

“Klaus we haven’t agreed on something for a good twenty years! It’s why we’re here” I exasperated

“That does not give you the excuse to fuck someone else” he growled and I glared

“Why? Did you plan on fucking me? Because I highly doubt it Klaus. And even if you wanted to, I wouldn’t have your hands anywhere near me now” I retorted.

I knew immediately that he would speed at me and so moved out of the way, he continued to chase me round the house until eventually he had me against the wall. Both of us were panting heavily, my hands pushing at his chest but he kept me caged.

“Get off me!” I cried, kicking my feet at his legs but he only grunted and held me as still as he could. I shoved at his chest with as much strength as I could but it was obvious that I couldn’t overpower a hybrid. He faltered only slightly at the impact before his hands were grabbing my waist to lift me. Without thinking I brought my hand to his face, smacking him as hard as I could manage.

His head cracked to the side and my eyes went wide. Slowly, he turned back to me. His expression was one of surprise as he stared at me. I felt myself grow meek under his gaze and my bottom lip wobbled.

“I’m sorry” I whispered “I didn’t mean to do that- I didn’t…” I felt his hold on me weaken but I didn’t move this time. My hand tingled from where I’d hit him and so did the guilt that pooled in the pit of my stomach.

His arms slipped around me, hugging me to him and I just didn’t know how to react.

I love Klaus. I do, I always will. But I couldn’t just pretend that every bad thing hadn’t happened and fall back into his arms. I wondered if in Klaus’s mind, if he thought that just sleeping with me and telling me that he found me pretty would be enough to fix this marriage. I knew it wasn’t but I worried for what he thought.

Still, I hugged him back gently. By touch reluctant but there. His warmth enveloped me and I felt my eyes water at the once familiar sensation.

“I missed you so dearly” he mumbled, his face lowering to nuzzle the crook of my neck. He pulled away slowly and grabbed my left hand, I looked to him blankly as he slid both rings back onto my finger. “I’m gonna fix everything” he whispered

“Klaus-“ I sighed

“Just let me try” he murmured

“I-“

“Please” he whispered and I sighed softly. Only the lords know whether I was going to make the right decision or not.

[techramonic]

An Interview with Galina Roslyakova: Vlad’s personal life according to his mother

A year after the shooting, BAZA, a Russian news outlet, interviewed Vlad’s mother Galina Roslyakova. Here are several details she had disclosed about her son:

He was gifted in drawing and engineering, however was an average student.

When he was younger, Vlad attended a kindergarten in Kerch with a chess focus. His mother considered him as a normal child who had an interest in drawing. He had hobbies such as architectural modeling, construction, and designing. He had a particular fascination with airplane models that he would try to configure by himself, although his father would occasionally help.

He then continued to paint throughout his life and excelled at it, Galina believes he inherited this skill from his father, Igor. Vlad mostly expressed an interest in drawing domestic animals and portraits of people. He focused a lot on the details and drew rather thoroughly. Unfortunately, she has none of his drawings left to reminisce.

In school, he was “statistically average”. He studied for at least three to five hours and was in the middle line of poor to excelling. He didn't dislike nor have an interest in school and had no specific goal yet. According to Galina, “Not all dreams can be realized.” So in a pragmatic sense, his parents tried to instill something that would have perhaps helped him by trying to search for something suitable for his life and future. She had also described Vlad to be somewhat confused or unsure of himself:

“You can show a different side of yourself. You can realize yourself somewhere else. And this period of transition from school to college was somehow unconscious. A lot depends on how this might turn out. Every person's views and values ​​change. Children must realize during this period that they are growing up primarily for themselves. He understood that he was not quite a child and not quite an adult.”

Vlad did not finish highschool and went straight to college, explaining why he was 18 during his 4th year.

Galina and Igor saw no point in enrolling him into 10th and 11th grade because it was unclear to them that he would graduate at all, seeing that his academic performance was mediocre at best. During his transition from highschool to college, Galina recalled it to be a stressful experience, “just like any other transition”, she says. She had attended all parent meetings and recalled that teachers would often describe her son to be socially inept. He was not keen on socializing but she figured this must have been his way of coping with his adaptation, since it was a contrasting environment to what he was used to.

“I went to all parent meetings. At the beginning of the training they were carried out. I talked with curators and other teachers. There was a phrase that he was not very sociable . Not all people are open and ready to communicate with others. At that time it was a period of adaptation. Everyone tolerates it differently, but I wouldn’t say that he had a difficult time with it.”

More on relationships, since their house was located in a residential area not far from other neighbors who lived nearby, Vlad easily could communicate with a few neighborhood kids whom his mother considered to be his “friends”. Rather, they were his classmates. 

“I think Vlad chose exactly those friends who suited him according to his views and interests at that period of his life when he was at school. He also played Minecraft. Well, of course, communication there is no longer only with classmates.”

Vlad still kept in contact with his father despite his mother's wishes to not be so in touch.

Technically, Vlad's parents were not officially divorced. Igor’s traumatic brain injury which subsequently led to the development of a mental illness was seen by Galina as a danger toward her and her son if they continued to live together. Coupled with the fact that he developed a dependency on alcohol, she had figured out that she had to make the resolution to move out with her son to protect their well-being. Despite this, Galina mentions that even with their separation, Vlad still communicated with his father, since it is a relationship not within her control. At first, Vlad was offended but as he grew, he began to contemplate the idea of his mother’s decision. He continued to communicate with his father as he grew older.

“With age, he made his own decision. He begins to make his choice whether he should communicate with his father. What will this give him and does he need it? That is, he could decide for himself. That is, in this regard, I gave him freedom of choice.”

He would often go to the garage together on weekends, which developed Vlad's interest in technology and personal interests like motorcycles, which he would’ve liked to study. Vlad then on became a major in the course: installation, commissioning and operation of electrical equipment of industrial and civil buildings.

Signs of isolation and depression were under the radar since he barely communicated.

Apart from the detail that teachers have said he was rather not very sociable, closer to the third year he already became withdrawn and kept to himself. He would often divert this topic of his behavior as his ‘right to privacy’ whenever asked, so no further questions would ensue. He was silent most of the time, got ready to go to class straight away and sat in his room ("another office") to scroll through his phone. He was quiet, didn't talk about himself that much, which led her to not anticipate the events that would unfold soon after. However, she said that she could sense a slight change in him, since he became more private. She did respect his boundaries however, since she saw it as his right to personal space. 

“Well, slightly, so to speak. Because, in principle, many people reach such a period and age, and so, in communicating with their friends who have children of this age, many children tend to have, so to speak, personal space. Personal life, this is how the period begins. You know, like “I have the right to personal space, ‘I have the right to privacy.’ Within reason, because we live together in the same apartment”

Did he need more attention? Galina expresses that although she didn't primarily focus on him at all times, she did care for him and paid attention. She tried to make him talk and actively made efforts to communicate with him to get him to open up more about himself, however to no avail. So, in an outward perspective, everything seemed rather normal for her, and with the lack of properly established and structured communication, it was difficult to see through her son. After all, you cannot properly fit in puzzle pieces when there are no pieces provided to arrange.

It was difficult for her to speculate about the topic of whether or not he was depressed, nor did she anticipate that somehow he felt abandoned because he would often just sweep things under the rug. The signs didn’t manifest in any way in everyday life because again, he was very secretive and rarely talked about himself in conversations at home, so things easily fell out of notice and undetected.

“What percentage of love do children want to receive from us? Do we feel this as parents? Or if they tell us, let’s say: 'Well, at the technical school there were difficult tasks and classes, I’m so tired that I don’t want to communicate.' And you are trying to do everything to make contact with him. The children say: 'Well, I don’t want to now.' You won't really force him too much... But you still have to try to do it. Basically, I tried to do all this. What provoked it, I can’t say anything. For me, all this still remains a big, big secret as a mother. I cannot put together logic and specific pieces of the puzzle for myself. Therefore, everything remains like this.”

Vlad's online presence was monitored until the age of 14.

Galina had monitored his online access until he was around the ages of 13 to 14. After the age of 16, this period however stopped because of the gap between parents and their children's familiarity with devices and the technologicaĺ world. So, she stopped keeping track. 

“I wished in my heart that somewhere they had slowed him down.”

She was unaware of his online presence in crime communities since 2016. According to her, at home he only sat and played minecraft,

“I didn't see this. If a person really wants to hide something... Maybe he did it sometimes, but not in my presence. At home he sat and played Minecraft. He talked there with one, then with another, then boys, then girls - they all communicate with each other there, laugh. There were different emotions, there was laughter.”

She was aware that he went to study firearms in the summer.

Vlad shared a common interest with his father with firearms. He also said he would join the army. Galina speculated that this might be due to the benefits, since the income of military salaries was fairly high. Vlad earned an internship at a plant prior to this, and it was good news for her but in reality, Vlad's perspective was that he did not generally take a liking to the place.

According to him, “I talked to the people who work there, I don’t see much prospects in income and in general my place in this.”

During the summer, he then began to study firearms through the internet and via the Internet, register with government services, and collect documents. She was against this act because she saw no purpose to this, however, she couldn't stop him. He excused this by saying he had an interest in hunting. Though she initially thought that he had given up on this prospect and moved on, since these documents were rather complex and difficult to complete, he then went on to successfully buy a gun after passing the exams and receiving his license. 

She hadn't known of this, of course, since it was reported that he hid his gun in an abandoned warehouse to avoid speculations from her.

Here's the article, if you want to read more:

https://baza.io/posts/1b2005f5-d53e-4380-989d-b6f846cd6aab

[redroomreflections]

Not Easily Broken Chapter 6

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: Natasha and Reader go through a tragic divorce

Masterlist | General Masterlist

6/10

Note: Yes,i know the picture has a watermark. it's 2 am.

W/c: 4.2k (less painful to edit!)

Rating: M (Minors DNI; angst, fluff, smut, heartbreak, heart fix? the best ending for them coming soon)

You don’t know how long you’ve stared at the blank paper. Its thin blue lines taunted you. The questions on the tiny notebook assigned to you were intimidating. You’re sitting here, at the kitchen counter, nursing a mug of tea and looking down at the paper. This is the first part of the assignment. Once you’re going to fail. There are several steps Cheryl gave to get things going for both of you. Answer the questions. Find something both of you like to do. Discuss them together. That should be easy, right? Wrong. It’s been four days and counting and you have yet to write anything. Not that there’s nothing to write. No. You have a lot to say. It just can’t be on paper. Neither of you has been good at expressing your thoughts. You’re worse. You come from a family where conflict was solved with abandonment and passive aggressiveness. Two things you do quite well. This venture into vulnerability is foreign. You’re afraid of being the bad guy again. You don’t want to address the unknown. What if even after all of this you and Natasha don’t work out?

You’ve been doing a lot of self-reflecting the past week. There’s always something in the back of your mind that says you’re ruining her life again. You’re ruining your children’s lives. Everything you worked for you ruined. This time would be different. You’re coming into this with a clear head and a fresh perspective. You want your life back. You want your wife back. You want your family. It’s not like you cheated. You didn’t step out of your relationship. You sometimes wish it were so easy. Maybe then your actions can be excused. That’s not the correct way to say it. Cheating is never excusable. You guess it would have been another way to avoid accountability. You blame yourself every day for what happened. Even then guilt is not enough. 

You sigh. Back to the questions. You hold the pencil in your hand—first question. 

“You lead separate lives despite living in the same household.” You read aloud. Wow. Okay. That’s a tough one right off the bat. It’s relevant. It makes sense considering the context. You write yes. You move on to the second question. “You mostly speak about finances or household chores. Question three you have sex less than once weekly.” You stop your reading right there. You’re three for three. If this is how this is going you’re going to be in therapy for a while. 

Were things really that bad? You wonder if Natasha is thinking the same things. 

Across town, Natasha is indeed wondering the same things. She’s just finished up her run for the morning, having gotten the kids out of the door and off to school, and now she has the morning to herself. She’s sitting on the couch, her feet propped up on the coffee table, as the notebook rests in her lap. She pushes her glasses further up her nose. 

“Sex less than once weekly?” She reads. ‘Sex never’. She writes. It’s true. Besides the phone sex last week she doesn’t remember the last time you two were so intimate. Well, she can. Emma’s fifth birthday party. She would hardly count that as something to brag about. While you’re skilled in the bedroom, she felt dirty afterward. She felt used in a way she wasn’t all that willing to share with you. Sex with you has always meant so much more to her. She hopes it’s the same for you. She doesn’t think about it for too long. She can’t dwell on the fact that her body aches for you. Natasha Romanoff knows her worth. She is aware she could go out and find anyone to fuck. She doesn’t have to go far truthfully. She doesn’t want that. It’s kind of pathetic and she would never admit it to anyone. 

Natasha is about to answer another question for the checklist when the doorbell rings. She glances at it, hoping that whoever it is will go away when the ringing becomes more insistent. Natasha rolls her eyes, slamming the book down against the coffee table, to go and answer the door. She swings it open, ready to give whomever it is a piece of her mind when she stops. She crosses her arms and glowers at her visitor suspiciously. 

“Romanoff,” Richard grins at her. “Don’t you look swell?” He admires her messy hair, tank top, and running shorts. He waves a file in his hand. “I have work.” He offers her one of the coffees in his and she takes it. 

“I thought we were meeting at the tower,” Natasha drops her hands from the door. She walks away without offering him a second glance. He would follow. What she doesn’t see is him checking out her ass as he steps inside. He closes the door behind with and walks with her toward the living room. 

“I thought this was much better,” Richard shrugs. “I was in the neighborhood.”

“I’m sure you were,” Natasha rolls her eyes. “Okay, give me a minute to change and I’ll be right back down. I have a couple of notes over there.” She waves her hand somewhere in the room. Though Richard is an asshole she knows he won’t do anything to put her in danger. She leaves him to his own devices to change out of her workout gear. Not that her new outfit would be much better. 

Richard stands, walks over to the couch to sit, and places the file on the coffee table. He spots the notebook she’s been writing in. It’s safe to assume it’s the one she permitted him to read. It’s not. 

“Healthy relationship checklist,” He reads to himself. “No sex?” He whistles. Wow. That’s disappointing. 

“I’m going to have to ban you from my house soon,” Natasha calls down the stairs. He quickly places the notebook back where he found it. Natasha comes into the living room in a simple blue blouse and slacks. She glances at the notebook, noting that it’s moved a few inches, and tsking. “Richard, seriously, you’re my partner. One I didn’t want. At least have the decency of giving me privacy.”

“I’m sorry I was curious,” He raises his hands in surrender. “If it makes you feel any better I haven’t done it in a while either.”

“No, it doesn’t make me feel any better,” Natasha shakes her head. “And I don’t believe you. You’re looking at a sexual harassment complaint and a broken nose if we keep talking about this.”

“Fine,” He shakes his head. “I just think you deserve better.” At Natasha’s warning look he clamps his mouth shut. “I need a consult. Fury wants the entire team on this case but we need your expertise.”

“Why would you need my expertise?” Natasha sits across from him. She takes the file, flipping through the pages before she shakes her head. “What is this?” 

“A recruitment center,” Richard describes. “Someone is recruiting young girls to be assassins. Training them to go out and do their bidding. We want to know the best way to, uh, get in there and get out.” He gestures. 

Natasha frowns. They could have very well asked Melina Yelena or anyone but her. She’s not an expert on brainwashed children. She only knows so much. Even then she provides him with an answer.

“You’re going to need to get someone on the inside obviously,” She says. “Preferably someone young. Wanda Maximoff could pass. She gets in. Find out who knows what. You protect her with your life. Make sure she feels safe at all times. Know that if it’s as bad as this film reads some of them will die.”

“That’s dark,” Richard comments.

“Well, it’s not all sunshine and roses,” Natasha mumbles. She sets the file back down. “Is that all you needed from me?” 

“Well, yeah,” Richard nods. 

“Well, I’d like to be alone in my home now,” Natasha says none too politely. She passes him the large envelope. They both stand. She walks him to the door and to both their surprises you’re on the other side. You’re a bit off-put by Richard being there. 

“I’m sorry,” You shake your head. “I stopped by to..” You trail off. 

“Y/n, so good to see you,” Richard offers you a fake smile that you don’t return. 

“He’s leaving,” Natasha makes a face at him. She wasn’t really in the mood for this nonexistent love triangle thing that goes on every time you’re all in the same space. Not that it matters to her. Richard would never be someone that is on her romantic radar. Not when she only has eyes for you. 

“Right, leaving,” Richard nods. He’s about to make a joke when Natasha punches him before he can even open his mouth. He holds his sore arm, offering her an “ow!” Before he shakes his head. He walks down the stairs and to his car without another word. 

Natasha’s gaze returns to you and the brown paper bag you have in your hands. 

“Is that for me?” She asks and you nod silently. Seeing her with Richard does things to you. You follow her into the house where she closes and locks the door. She takes the bag from your hands to set it on the hallway table. You’re not sure who makes the first move but Natasha is in your arms, kissing you, feeling you, and walking backward toward the couch. Your hands are everywhere on her body. You feel the skin under her shirt, down her sides, and her hips, as you push her gently to lie down on the couch. Your kiss is hungry and rough and full of passion. She moans at the feel of your weight atop her. She kisses you back. When your hand slides up her shirt, pinching her nipple through the sports bra she’s wearing, she rips her lips from yours to moan. Her cries go straight to your core. You’re lying here between her legs, kissing her neck now, and holding her right where you want her. Natasha enjoys your touch. It excites her. It makes her feel wanted. She raises her hand to place it over yours. 

“Y/n,” Natasha begs. She doesn’t know exactly what for. She imagines it would be so easy to allow you to take her right here. Right now. The kids aren’t home. There’s no one here to stop her. Even so, she can’t help the nagging feeling at the back of her mind. “Y/n.” The tone of her voice stops you in your tracks. You lift to look into her concerned eyes. 

“What’s wrong?” You ask. You take in her kiss-swollen lips, her mussed hair, and her flushed skin. She looks so damn sexy. 

“You did this last time,” Natasha points out. Her voice is small and barely there. You can tell she’s trying to keep the conflict at a minimum. You give her a confused look. What was she talking about? “It’s… it’s stupid.” She shakes her head. “I can't help but notice. Every time Richard comes around you feel the need to stake your claim in some way.”

“I don’t do that,” You scoff. She gestures to the spot on her neck that’s formed into a slight purple bruise. When did you do that? You deflate, sitting up, removing yourself from her embrace. You take deep breaths. Were you doing that to her? 

“I didn’t want to bring it up to upset you,” Natasha instantly misses your touch. She fixes her shirt, adjusts her bra, and moves to sit closer to you. “I don’t want you to want me because someone else does.”

“Do you seriously think that?” You question. “Nat, baby,” You breathe. “I want you because I missed you. I want you because I find you attractive. I want you because you’re everything.” You take her hand in yours. “I don’t want you to think I’m doing it to show ownership over you. That’s not something I want.”

“I want to be yours,” Natasha confesses quietly. “Just not like that.”

“I understand,” You nod. Natasha kisses your pouting lips. You smile. The notebook on the coffee table catches your eye. “So you’ve been doing the assignment.”

“I have,” Natasha glances at the paper. 

“It’s pretty eye-opening,” You say and she nods in agreement. “I didn’t think things were that bad for us. I mean, I know, we got a divorce. I just…it puts things into perspective.” 

“It does,” Natasha runs a hand through her hair. 

“I want this to work for us,” You admit. “I’m sorry. I am. I want us to work.”

“Me too,” Natasha kisses your lips again. “Did you bring your book? We could go over some of the questions now.”

“I did,” You say as you reach over her legs to the bags you brought. You pull out the book, cracking it open to the page you’ve written on, while Natasha opens hers. “So, I’ve realized a lot of these are things we’ve done at the beginning of our relationship. We seemed to enjoy each other then. Pre-kids I guess.”

“Hmm,” Natasha hums. 

“Okay, this question,” You go to one you haven’t answered yet. “Please be truthful. Don’t hold back because you think it’s going to hurt my feelings.” Natasha nods. She could do that. “Do you feel comfortable being yourself around your partner?”

Natasha bites her lip. “I have always felt I could be myself with you. There were times I didn’t think I could. That maybe I needed to play a part to, um, make you happy.”

“I felt the same way,” You mumble. “Nat, I’m -”

“You’re sorry that’s understandable,” She shakes her head. “It’s something we have to work on. I love you for you. I’ve always loved you for you.”

“I’ve always been attracted to everything about you,” You begin. “I’ve always loved your personality. Your tenacity. Your humor. Your ability to be vulnerable.” Natasha blushes under your intense gaze. She takes her pen to write a few things before moving on to the next question. 

“You rarely hug, hold hands, or touch each other in a non-sexual way,” She reads aloud. There’s a silence that neither of you breaks. “The butt rubs stopped.” She points out. 

“What?” You look at her in surprise. “I guess they have. Was that the first indicator that something was wrong with you?”

“It was one,” Natasha shrugs. “I just thought you needed space and it’s not always a sexual thing but we stopped touching each other. It wasn’t only you. I stopped too.”

“Damn,” You curse under your breath. “We could try it now? I mean, one of our exercises was extended cuddling time. Now would be the perfect opportunity.” You offer and Natasha likes that idea. She takes both notebooks to sets them down on the table. You lie down first and she crawls on top of you. Her head rests on your chest, your arms wrap around her waist, and you simply hold each other. Your shared breathing and warmth lull you to a place of comfort. Natasha wriggles her butt, silently asking for your hands on her, and you oblige. You reach down, and your right hand travels over the slope of her soft, supple behind, before you rub. It’s tentative touches at first. Just a simple swipe of your hand before your rubs turn into kneading. You massage the covered flesh in your hands and Natasha hums. 

“I missed this,” She mutters into your chest. She peeks her head up at you. Her eyes travel from your eyes to your lips. She follows through with whatever thought she’s having and she kisses you. Her kiss is gentle and reassuring. She lingers, her lips brushing against yours before she opens her eyes again. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” You kiss her again. “So much, Natasha.” She smiles widely. She can’t describe how happy she feels right now. She’s here with you, in your arms, and there’s no other place she’d rather be. Her happiness surges to something else entirely. Suddenly all she wants is you. She kisses you again, deeper, harder, this time it’s all teeth and tongue. She sucks her bottom lips into your mouth, eliciting a moan from deep inside you and your grip on her ass loosens. 

“We shouldn’t,” She breathes between kisses. 

“You’re right,” You nod in agreement. “Though she did say we could.”

“It’s not like we need permission,” Natasha smirks. “We’ve done this before.”

You shrug. She may be right. 

“Which means I know how to get creative,” You flip the both of you over in one swift move. You adjust Natasha against the pillows, her hair fanning out under her, as you lie beside her legs. “Interesting choice of attire today.”

“It was either this or the workout gear,” She laughs. 

“It’s okay, makes it more fun,” You take nimble fingers to the buttons of her blouse. Natasha watches as you unbutton to reveal her smooth skin. “Tell me to stop.” You say but she doesn’t say a word. 

“What if I don’t want you to stop?” She challenges. You slide your fingers under her bra cap, feeling her nipple harden under your palm, and she shivers. 

“I’ve always liked you,” You joke and she nips at your chin. “I love you.” You correct and she hums. Much better. You twist her nipple, bordering on harsh, and Natasha practically jumps out of her skin. God, she’s missed this. You lean your head down, pushing the cup to the side, to suck her rosy nipple into your mouth. You swirl your tongue, alternating between licking and sucking and Natasha drops her head against the pillows again. You make sloppy sucking noises, only proving to turn her on further, as she rests a hand over your head to keep you there. “I want to make you cum.” You release her nipple with a pop. 

Natasha is a grown woman. She likes sex. She enjoys sex. She’s about to throw away all of her reservations and tell you to do whatever. You offer an alternative. You button her slacks, zipping them down far enough for your hands to reach inside and you slide in. Your fingers ghost over the lips of her panties, pushing to feel the wetness seeping through, and Natasha preens. 

“Like this then?” You say and she nods. That makes it more fun. You rake your nails over Natasha's pussy, finding the small nub peeking through the fabric, and you pay the most attention to that. Natasha arches her back and forces you to press against her deeper. “You like that baby?” You ask. “Is this what you wanted?” You ask as you work your magic through the cotton of her panties. Natasha nods her head, mouth open, eyes closed in complete pleasure. 

“Ngh,” She moans her words caught in her throat, as she rocks her hips into your fingers. It feels so damn good. This entire act may seem a bit immature but she doesn’t care. Your fingers are on her, practically inside of her, and even with the thin barrier of her underwear she feels everything. You are firm in your movements. You’re purposeful with every circling of your fingers. Your movements go from small tight circles to wide and rough as Natasha moans louder. “Yes,” She hisses between her teeth. “Yes.”She whines and you know she’s close. 

“Chase it, baby,” You encourage. “You’re so pretty like this. At my mercy.” You continue. “The perfect doll. So open and wet for me.” You kiss her bare shoulder, her neck, her chest. Anywhere you can reach. It feels so dirty here. The smell of her sex reaching your nose. The sound of shuffling and moving against the cushions is the only thing heard in the entire house. You want to give Natasha this. You need to give it to her. “My pretty girl. I want to make you my pretty wife again.” You find yourself saying and it’s the right thing. Natasha stiffens, and her left hand comes to grip your right arm as her hips thrust against your fingers. Even through her panties, you can feel the sudden gush of wetness from her. Natasha whimpers pitifully as you talk her through it. “That’s it, baby. I know. Your pussy feels so good.” You whisper closer to her ear. When she finally comes down, Natasha falls limp against the cushions and you catch her. You remove your fingers from her pants, resting them by her side, as you watch the rise and fall of her chest. Natasha opens her eyes a moment later, a bit startled by the fact that you’re watching her, and she shakes her head. You kiss her swollen lips. 

“You did so well for me,” You praise and delight in her skin turning into an even redder shade. “I liked seeing you cum.”

“Stop,” Natasha groans. You chuckle. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me for your orgasm,” You deny her. “I had fun doing it. I’d like to do it again soon. Maybe with that strap, you’ve been asking for.”

“I’d like that.” Natasha nods. 

“This didn’t change things for you right?” You question and she tilts her head. “I mean to say that I meant what I said about making you my wife. It wasn’t just something I was saying to get you off.”

“It worked either way,” She quips. “I want that too. With you. Someday.”

“Good,” You smile. You trade kisses with Natasha, noting her sudden fatigue until you fall asleep in each other’s arms. You weren’t exactly intending to but you know you both need it. 

************

A few hours later you’re awakened by the sound of the front door unlocking. The kids are home. You awaken first, tapping Natasha awake, and she only nuzzles into your body further. She’s not ready to move away. 

“Unbelievable,” Yelena Belova’s voice interrupts your bliss. You both pop up to see the blonde standing over the two of you with a look of disgust on her face. “I can’t believe it.” Yelena shakes her head. 

“Mommy!” Emma and Ryan chorus. Natasha makes quick work of buttoning up her shirt and pants without them seeing. It’s Yelena who notices and shakes her head. 

“Is this why you wanted me to pick them up?” Yelena asks but then she drops Emma’s backpack onto the ground. “You know what, I’m leaving, I don’t even care.” She heads for the front door. You watch in trepidation as Natasha races after her. 

“Yelena,” Natasha calls after her younger sister. “Yelena, you’re acting like a child.”

“And you’re being stupid,” The woman insults. She turns back to Natasha with a disappointed look on her face. “You can’t think one quick fuck is going to make her stay. She left you. She left your kids. I can’t fucking believe this.”

“Yelena, that’s enough,” Natasha speaks firmly. “You don’t know what’s going on.”

“Well I have eyes,” Yelena argues back. “ I think I can see.”

“She’s my wife,” Natasha pleads with her sister to understand. 

“No,” Yelena rants. “She’s your ex-wife that broke your heart.”

“And she’s trying to make things better,”

“And just like that, you believe her? You’re smarter than that, Natasha.” Yelena scolds her sister. Natasha doesn’t speak. “Don’t call me when she decides she doesn’t want to play house anymore.” Yelena walks away after that. 

Natasha watches as her sister gets into her car and drives down the street. How was she supposed to respond to that? She turns back toward the house to see you standing on the steps waiting for her. 

“That was intense,” You comment. Natasha nods. You hold out your arms for her to step into them. She hides her face in your neck. 

“Am I being stupid?” She mumbles into your neck and you almost miss it. 

“No, Natasha,” You assure her. 

“Don’t make me look stupid,” She pleads. “I won’t survive it this time.” 

“Me either,” You hold her. 

You wouldn’t give this up again. You understand that Natasha’s family has a right to be cautious. They have a right to hate you. You could only hope that they see that you’re trying.

---> next part

[youbutstupid]

What are the flaws of each Criminal Minds character? Because these things I glossed over while watching the show. Unleash the essay, if you have to!

I’m gonna fight someone, I wrote a response to this but my app refreshed! Time to speedrun this response again omg I’m so sorry.

DISCLAIMER: I love every single character but that doesn’t mean I am blind to the fact that they are all flawed and fleshed out human beings.

Gideon: he was unempathetic to those he worked with. He was incredibly kind and compassionate to the victims and even the unsubs at times, but the only time we saw him truly give value as a superior was to Reid and Garcia, and even they got the short end of the stick at times.

Hotch: he unfortunately paid the price for his, but it was a lack of empathy for Haley and the fact that she never signed up for marrying an FBI agent. He let his job cloud the fact that he should have been prioritising his son and wife and he sadly didn’t realise this until the divorce papers were finalised.

Reid: he is very emotional, which is mostly a good thing, but it does mean that he can let it cloud what he is supposed to do in a situation and what is right, leading to irrational actions, as seen in Fisher King pt 2, Elephant’s Memory, Memorium and his journey in Mexico. I’m not saying his arrest was his fault of course, but I am saying that whether he got framed or not, there were other risks to crossing the border without notifying the FBI to collect experimental medicine, and his emotions clouded him from those risks. It puts his team in tricky positions and also puts his life in danger.

Morgan: he was very doubtful towards people’s views and ideas. If I had a shot for every time he doubted a true thing that somebody said or said that they shouldn’t be working a case when they should be, I would be so blackout drunk. Obviously he is allowed to doubt things, but he takes it too far and it prevents him from seeing what is right in front of him.

Elle: I understand that she needed somebody to blame in order to rationalise her trauma and the person who caused it was dead, but she was wrong to blame Hotch and she never went back on it. Hotch sent her home with the idea that Anderson would be watching over her, he could never have predicted that Anderson would leave her alone or that Gideon would anger Garner.

JJ: love her but the Reid confession was icky and gross. She had other 35 years of experience in life, came from a small town background, covered up Prentiss’ death and was a part of classified missions overseas and you’re telling me the only secret she could think to tell was telling the guy who used to have a crush on her that she was in love with him whilst she had a husband and two sons? I like to pretend this never happened for my own sanity.

Garcia: she is also very emotional, which can be a good thing most of the time, but other times it leads to her making decisions without considering their consequences. One example is her visiting the man who tried to murder Reid because she personally felt bad; I adore her but she didn’t consider that her motives were selfish because she just wanted closure, she didn’t consider if this could have been triggering to Reid, the people he had murdered or even if the man wanted to see her at all. There are also times when she wastes time by refusing to look things up because she feels weird doing it, even though there are lives on the line.

Prentiss: the line ‘you mourned the loss of one friend, I mourned the loss of six.’ Surely she realised that carrying what you thought was your best friend’s dead body in a coffin whilst thinking that she was wiped out of existence forever is very different than being in France and missing your friends but knowing that they are very much alive.

Rossi: he often tries to justify his crappy actions in the past when he should just apologise. Even if he has to apologise multiple times, it is no one’s jobs to understand his actions that hurt other people, it is his job to rectify them however that may be. I’m glad he has changed and grown, but that doesn’t undo the hurt that he has caused.

Todd: she had every reason not to fully trust the team because she doesn’t know them, but she needed to at least trust that they could do their jobs and do them well. I understand that she had never been in that line of work before, but she was not open to understanding either and that put her in tricky positions.

Seaver: I think she came to the bau with the hope of finding closure for her past and that meant that she was not 100% sure what it actually was that she was signing up for, leading to her often falling behind as an agent. She tried to learn, but she was just too unprepared for what it entailed.

Blake: I love her but the whole thing in the earlier episodes of her telling Reid that she’s glad he didn’t take her joke about him being autistic too seriously because apparently no one can take a joke these days made me feel icky. Even if Reid did take her joke seriously, it is no one’s responsibility to find your offensive jokes funny, it is your responsibility not to make them.

Callahan: like Morgan, she was often sceptical about things and whilst, again, she has every right to be, it did mean that sometimes she was clouded to some truths because she simply couldn’t see them.

Tara: she immediately assumed that the reason her brother didn’t go to college was simply because he had gone off the rails and was the less successful sibling. Her straight A student brother suddenly dropped out of education and she didn’t stop to see if he was okay or suffering in any way for him to have done this in the first place. She of course had no obligation to help him once he had started asking for financial help and making bad decisions, but she could have at least wondered why all of this started. I think her dad was largely to blame for this though.

Alvez: he was not ready to have and then move in with his girlfriend when he did. He was still quite new to his job and way too committed with it, plus it was clear from the beginning that he had some feelings towards Penelope and he just didn’t seem to have the emotional availability at the time for Lisa. I know she didn’t break up with him for this reason, but I think that they needed to break up anyway as it kind of felt like she was being led on.

Simmons: adore him but what a field of work to be in with five kids. I’m glad his wife was understanding because idk how I would cope raising five kids whilst my husband was constantly away; this isn’t necessarily a flaw but rather a personal ick for me.

Walker: idk he’s just a little fella innit

[ttlurking]

While I keep working on the design for the Cipher twins AU here's some more things i thought to add!

They both have Ford's 6 fingers hands, since they're mostly made of his genetic material it was a high probsbilty that it'd be passed down.

I'm not sure about Canon but in this au the twins are partially responsible for their parents divorce, not for a fault of their own but because their parents think they're too freaky and contributed greatly to the cracks already existing in their marriage. So they've been sent to who they think is their actual father/creator, not knowing its Stanley.

They have shared dreams/dreamscape (this is actually inspired by real life because when me and my brother slept in the same room as kids we'd sometimes have conjoined dreams? It's a story for another time anyways) plus the fact that Bill is technically on of their fathers means they can always lucid dream and have a pretty good control on their dreams. They have their own separate dream areas, almost like they "split" their rooms, especially as they grew. This is to give eachother privacy in their dreams and also because their tastes in dreams are vastly different.

They can talk telepathically, being linked through the dreamscape has their consciousnesses closely linked. They keep it as radio sort of situation, as neither is keen to look in the other's thoughts. It could be a completely open channel. It used to be when they were younger, which greatly contributed to their freakishness as they used to talk together, as if they were one being.

Dipper and Mabel have personalities that stick pretty close to canon, with Dipper taking more after Ford and Mabel after Stan. Tho as they're Ford's kids I'd say they've both inherited his genius in different ways, Dipper is smart and logical, a bit too calculating and probably on the spectrum. He likes to study things because he wants to know more and likes feeling in control. He has a quick mind, good for puzzles, equations and observation. Very fast learner. Mabel is creative and a tinkerer, while she still loves to make sweaters (and bedazzled eyepatches) her inventiveness is cranked up. She's made some pretty complex sweaters, some that could light up, so it's not even too much of a reach. She likes to make useful machines to help around the house, and while they do work, they're usually weird looking and usually made for unnecessary tasks: like glitter dispensers, disco toilets, rainbow colored shower water etc.. although she's good at making things on request, like Stan's beloved automatic backscratcher.

Stan started wearing the eyepatch as his Man of Mystery persona to make the kids feel more welcomed. He says that it's so they can sell the while "Mystery Family" deal and make more money but he always thinks of his brother and how it was for him as a child to be a "freak"

Dipper's constellation glows when he's sleeping.

The twins don't know they're not completely human. They just think they've inherited the "Family weirdness" that they've heard about.

They still think Stan is their Grunkle. Things start to click after they first meet Bill. They have an easier time in this Au, since they're used to their own dreamscape, they're much more of a threat to Bill, who retreats after he realises just what the twins are.

Their realisation about Bill is complex, along the lines of "We're connected but I don't know how."

They have heavily suspected that the author is related to them since the first season because what are the chances of a 6 fingers handprint on a diary.

When they meet Ford they're like "oh ok- Stan has a twin? So we have two great uncles, makes sense, we must have the 6 fingers mutation in our genetic makeup, a family thing. He's our dad. He's our dad???"

Granda and Candy are still awesome best friends and they never make Mabel feel bad for being different. To them, she's just as weird as they are.

Dipper doesn't have a crush on Wendy. He thinks he does, because he has no experience with this sort of things, but it's actually a mix of admiration and envy, he'd like to be more like her.

And that's it for now cause I'm really sleepy, sorry for the rant~

[schrijverr]

Oehh with chapter 37 and Bobby's POV up, I can tell you all about how Eddie's POV colored chapter 30 and 31!

I love how much taking a character's POV can change how they view everything and how simple misunderstandings and interpretations of actions can spiral out of control unintentionally, so this was really fun to write.

Anyway, I'm putting this under the cut, because it's just me nerding out over my own fic lol

Okay, so this will be mostly focusing on the 118 and their actions and how Eddie sees them and they him, so I'm gonna start with this bit after they just found out:

“You two are married?” “2016? You two didn’t meet until last year!” “I didn’t know you were gay.” They’re all yelling at him and it’s not good for Eddie’s flayed open nerves. He’s been living with the anxiety of everyone finding out for nearly a year already and now the moment is here and he has to face it without back up. It suddenly seems incredibly daunting. Bobby seems to notice his overwhelmed eyes and makes a gesture for everyone to calm down so they can interrogate him in peace. Hen and Chimney both notice and quiet down, backing down from being in his face. Maddie, however, does no such thing.

In the grand scheme of things, these are pretty normal questions to ask when you just found out that your male coworker has been married to your other male coworker the whole time. (Also in my mind the order is Bobby, Chimney, Hen).

However, Bobby notices that Eddie is overwhelmed and Hen and Chimney back down when Bobby indicates they should. It is overshadowed by Maddie, who gets mad, but it isn't the intention of the 118 to overwhelm Eddie, they just got surprised and want to know more, when the initial surprise has passed, they realize this wasn't a productive way to get those answers and stopped and took a breath.

Thanks to Maddie's yelling (which understandable with her Doug trauma but also jikes) we get Eddie's less than stellar explanation (also understandable with his repressed overwhelmedness), which leads to this interaction:

Eddie clears his throat and quietly adds: “You don’t legally have to declare marital status to your employer, so we lied so we could work together.” “HR will throw a fit when they find out, you know there are regulations in place for that for a reason,” Hen says, as if Eddie doesn’t realize that. “I know,” Eddie says, voice small. “We’re already under the loop after the bank robbery,” Bobby adds. “There might be serious repercussions for this. You two could loose your jobs.” Miserably, Eddie again says: “I know.”

Again kind of overshadowed by Maddie blowing up, but very important to me, since both Hen and Bobby point out that what they did was stupid and could endanger their jobs, currently maybe even effecting all of them and all Eddie says is: "I know." Like he is admitting in their faces they did that on purpose. They put everything on the line on purpose and none of them in that moment know how it will effect any of them.

As I expanded upon in the addition, Bobby's decision to call the brass came from a drive to get ahead of this and give Buck and Eddie an as good a starting position in this whole thing blowing up, but naturally Eddie doesn't interpret it like this, same as Hen's choice to take a second to process all this information.

Then as we all know, Eddie goes outside has a cry, before coming inside to this:

Inside Bobby is talking to Athena, who has arrived finally as well. He seems to be giving her a rundown of what has went down, which Eddie knows, because she keeps looking over at him, her brow furrowed and lips pursed. Maddie has returned too, Chimney still by her side. She looks both angry and devastated and when Chimney spots him, he sends him a confusedly angry look, as if he can’t believe what possessed Eddie to what he did. Standing there now, Eddie also questions why he did what he did. He had the right idea at Christmas, to cut Buck lose, divorce him and give him his freedom back. He should have divorced him before he even started working there, when his parents suggested it last year in the week after Chris’s birthday. But he didn’t. He couldn’t. Even now, after everything, the thought of doing that to him, to them, feels wrong. Still, something bad churns in his stomach as he sees the two of them sitting there, Hen next to them. When she sees Chimney mean mugging someone, she turns around to see who he’s looking at, spotting Eddie at the entrance. Upon seeing him, she does a little apologetic wince on Chimney’s behalf. Beside her is an empty chair and there is also a cup of coffee sitting unclaimed, likely intended for him. However, Eddie doesn’t know if he wants to go over there right now. The grasp on the emotions he has only just managed to suck up is fragile and most of the people there look like they don’t want him there. It’s the opposite of the warmth he remembers from when he first started working there. All that ease with which he integrated into the 118 has evaporated like it’s nothing.

While Maddie and Chimney by proxy are acting hostile, he is choosing to interpret Bobby explaining the situation, which is very serious, to Athena as telling her why they should oust him. He doesn't know what Bobby is even telling her, they could be talking about Buck's injury for all he knows and she is looking over, because Bobby is telling her about how Eddie made the call.

And then, Hen. I love her. Like she wasn't planning on ousting him at all, she just needed a second. She got him a coffee too and was saving him a seat. There was still someone welcoming him. It's Eddie's own grasp on his emotions and interpretation of the situation that makes him decide not to risk it, but there was an open arm. And Bobby and Athena would have backed her in that.

Instead he goes to talk to the nurse about Buck's condition and asking an update about it, before doing this:

He gives her a tight nod then turns back to the waiting room, hoping to see something else to do and steadfast ignoring the group of familiar faces that are following him with their eyes. Bobby and Athena have joined them and are probably getting updated further on why Eddie needs to be ousted, which he doesn’t want to be a part of, thank you. Luckily, he spots a vending machine. Perfect. Hopefully they have something with caffeine, since he’s had to pass on the coffee Hen got him. He is definitely not an energy drink kind of guy, but at this point, he doesn’t really care. He gets a drink that he doesn’t recognize and a chocolate bar. A chocolate bar probably isn’t going to be enough to soften the blow that papi is seriously hurt, but it’s better than nothing. To distract himself from his failure as a parent, he cracks open the drink and takes a sip, making a face when the taste hits him. At least he’ll have something to hold as he wanders around trying not to look too stupid. Having something to do with his hands will help keep them from shaking, help preserve the image of strength he definitely doesn’t feel.

Now, we all understand why he does that, since it's his POV so he kindly explains it to us, but from the perspective of the others, Eddie also disappeared for a bit (not showing them that he cried, just like when he disappeared to the bathroom) and rejected Hen's offer to join them, which, again, would have been backed by Bobby and Athena.

I don't know about you guys, but if I got someone a drink and saved them a chair and then they decided to get a drink of their own and stand off to the side while they drank it, I would take it as a sign they didn't want to talk to me and to leave them alone. Eddie has already walked off to take a moment for himself and Bobby held Hen back when she wanted to follow him, asked her to respect that. They're doing that again.

But not only that, he went to ask for an update on Buck's condition and then fucked off to the side while ignoring everyone. He has just been established as the person who gets to decide and know about Buck's medical care right now (much to the frustration of Maddie) and the first thing they see him do after coming back from that is asking for an update and then not share that information. They don't know why he did that, they can at this point assume he doesn't want to share that information with them.

And then arrives Chris, who naturally has a breakdown at the news that his papi is in danger and surgery and Chris might never see him again. As he cries, we get this... stellar take from Eddie:

Of course, Chris should drink, be hydrated. Eddie is a medic, he should have thought of that. Guess it’s just another thing he’s failing at tonight, he thinks as he gives her a grateful nod, struggling to swallow the sour taste of inadequacy. Chris is still crying and Eddie still feels like a horrible parent. Everyone else can also see how he’s a horrible parent. A bitter part of him thinks that the 118 will at least understand why he trapped Buck and why Buck felt the need to help, Eddie is clearly terrible at this.

With so many things happening and going on, it's natural that Eddie isn't on top of his game and thinking of everything (and even then he is still doing great), so that's not what anyone thinks at all, it's what Eddie thinks of himself projected onto everyone else.

Also if someone has given me don't talk to me vibes, this wouldn't be the moment I'd insert myself in the situation. Chris is upset and the 118 is close sure, but they're not yet regular bbqs knowing all the kids well kind of close as of then. Chris is a person they don't know on that level and he is upset, a lot of them being parents, know a near stranger coming up isn't the move, as is unsolicited child care advice.

Besides, Carla is there, she is literally hired to help with Chris, overwhelming the poor kid with more people when Eddie already has back up is counterproductive. Something that would only seem proven correct when Eddie takes him out of the situation of the busy waiting room. Eddie isn't entirely alone and Chris clearly isn't in a state for a lot of people right now.

Then he comes back and joins Carla again. She doesn't know the 118 at all, so she didn't join them, just stayed where she had been so Eddie could find her which he does.

The two of them chat, another 'I don't want to talk to any of you guys right now' sign from Eddie or an 'no more people around Chris' sign. Either way, he isn't inviting the 118 with any of his behavior. And while we know why, they don't! His body language is very different from his thoughts, even if he doesn't intend it like that.

And then the doctor comes to tell them the diagnosis, which goes like this:

As she explains how they’ve installed a bunch of bolts and screws into his leg, managing to salvage the bone and expecting that he will walk. The others also gather around to hear. The relief upon hearing the news that Buck is going to be fine connects them for a moment, dissipating the uncomfortable air that had been haunting the waiting room the whole night. Until the doctor finishes: “Mr. Buckley is in his own room. He shouldn’t get a lot of visitors yet, but I’m sure he’ll be happy to find his husband and son there when he wakes up.” Immediately the atmosphere changes again and Eddie is glad Chris is sleeping through all this, sufficiently knocked out. Because he feels the others turning to look at him as guilt claws at the insides of his chest again. Trying to dispel it, he says: “She just said that because of the paperwork, I’m sure he wants to have you there when he wakes up too. You can all visit, it’s not like I will limit it.”

Someone comes with news and they go to Eddie, who doesn't come and get the others, they have to come to them. It could be seen as another repeat of: 'I am the person who gets the news and I am not going over to share.'

Also important to note here is the doctor saying that Buck shouldn't get a lot of visitors yet, but he'd probably be happy to see Eddie and Chris.

The atmosphere does change, but Eddie is the one that fills in why that would be. As mostly medical professionals in some capacity, they all know not a lot of visitors isn't great and yeah, the doctor also does press home once more this new knowledge that no matter how close any of them are, Chris and Eddie have the most right to sit with Buck during this time. That is an adjustment and taking a second at the reminder is not too out there as a primary reaction.

Of course what Eddie says is the wrong thing to say for Maddie, who then overshadows any other reactions that might have been and consolidates what Eddie already thinks of what is happening as being the correct interpretation of the events.

When she leaves and Chimney follows, it is because she thinks Eddie getting to be there is shitty, but that isn't necessarily the case for all the others. Bobby and Athena go with this:

With them gone, Eddie turns to Bobby and Athena, his eyes probably more begging than he would usually allow himself. But before he can even ask, Bobby is already shaking his head. “I have to appear before the LAFD brass tomorrow, explain what happened today. I wanted to make sure he came out the other end okay, but I need some sleep before that.” The reminder of what Buck and Eddie have done – what Eddie has done – weighs heavily on him and he can’t even begin to think of what a mess it will become. The shame of Bobby having to do that because of him grips him by the throat, so he just nods wordlessly. “We’ll come by later,” Athena promises, seeing his expression. She gives him a hug and Bobby claps him on the back and then they’re also gone.

Bobby's words feel like him being a failure to Eddie, but Bobby is operating on the one track mind of needing to argue their case the best he can to help them, because in a situation where he has felt so helpless and guilty as this one, it's the one thing he can do to help Buck, so he is focused on that, because Buck is his son, while Eddie is his friend.

And it's not as if they're planning to stay away. Athena tells him they'll come by later. This is the first interaction they've had since everyone found out, if she had been told how much they all hate Eddie now, she probably wouldn't have been kind to him, but Eddie doesn't even consider that.

With that, Hen leaves with this:

Now it’s just him, Carla and Hen. Hen apologetically says: “I need to go home to Denny and Karen, make sure they’re okay. Be with family. You know how these things get to you.” And Eddie does know, he knows it very well, which is exactly why he wants her, wants everyone, to stay here with him. But he knows he can’t ask that of them. So he just says: “Yeah, I do. Go home, it’s okay.” “Thanks,” she says with a small smile. “Wish Buck the best from me, tell him I’ll come when I can, yeah?”

All Hen knows is that 1) Eddie has been giving off major don't talk to me vibes, 2) Buck isn't allowed many visitors and, I cannot overstate how important this detail is, 3) she has just been in an explosion that was on television.

Like her wife probably saw that, if not live then later, maybe Denny too. Naturally Hen probably texted or called her to let her know she was okay, but that is not a casual shake it off thing. Wanting to go home and shower and kiss her wife and hold her son is very normal after being threatened by a terrorist, especially when she thinks that Eddie wants to be with Buck and not everyone is advised be there by the doctors.

However, despite that, she still explains herself and Eddie is the one that says it's okay. Like we know he is lying and maybe Hen could pick up on that, but it's also an emotional and tiring day, she could write it off as everything putting Eddie off his normal behavior or not notice due to exhaustion. Plus, she has plans to come by and it is not her fault she never gets to due to the department.

Then with her gone, we get this line from Carla:

“Nah, if I see my friend being crushed by a firetruck on the news, I’m here,” she says. “I was supposed to have Chris until tomorrow morning anyway. And I have a free day, so you’re in luck. I can stay as long as you need me to.”

Believe me, I love Carla and her response here is colored by what Eddie told her, so also colored his POV of the whole situation, which she doesn't have any reason to doubt. However, with this line, she confirms that Eddie's view of the situation is correct, that they are bad people for leaving Buck's side right now.

And that's how you get two hostile people and three people trying to be understanding and respectful of Eddie's body language turning into Eddie thinking everyone hates him. Like that is so fascinating to me! :D

No one had ill intentions (except for maybe Maddie, who was having a trauma response TM and Chimney who picked her side bc he is whipped), but a misunderstanding about what the body language was giving up turned it into a conflict and more hurt than necessary.

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

I loved your analysis of the Romeo and Juliet reference in Taylors song it was such a perfect example of why people praise her songwriting so much without realising how hollow it is. I also especially loved how when someone commented that they didn’t have a large enough vocab to understand your post, you actually responded really nicely and offered to explain! It’s such a bare minimum thing but so rare to see on the Internet where people often just ignore such comments or become pretentious. Anyway, definitely earned a follow because your posts seem really cool and I hope you do more song analysis posts, whether they’re praising or critiquing music.

Hello! Apologies for taking so long to get back to you! I’ve been in middle of moving (and it’s taking up much of my time ahaha). I’m glad to hear that you enjoyed my Romeo and Juliet post. I love that play- mostly because of its sly, subversive nature and social reform thematic purpose. I remember reading it in High School and how that was one of the first times I was consciously aware of the power literature holds to shift culture and move public consciousness towards progressive ideologies. Remarkable. For that reason, Swift’s repeated misunderstanding, and blatant, purposeful ignorance surrounding the plays, has always frustrated me.  

I will be returning to the topic to write about the infamous “Love Story” (2009), and I’m also going to debunk a couple of her other literary references like The Scarlett Letter one. Also, I will be posting something about her bastardization of Daphne du Maurier’s “Rebecca” (1938) because she over-simplified the thematic point of the book and made it seem silly, and frivolous, instead of the hard-hitting social reform literature that it is. Much of my frustration with Swift stems from her use of literary genius, and the way she twists these stories into empty- ego-driven narratives that singularly focus on break-ups or centering her aspirations towards praising hetero-patriarchal standards in her music.  

I’m fucking over it- Y'all.  

She has this way of taking literary references, some of the most famous and important works in history, and remaking it into something dull, derivative and nonsensical. She incinerates the plotlines and erases the methodology of the literary work through demeaning the intrinsic social reform efforts of the works themselves. For instance, with my post on her work and the reference to “Romeo and Juliet” I mention how Swift purposely leaves out, or negates, Shakespeare intentional social reform phenomenological base to the line “O be some other name/ What’s in a name?” Shakespeare himself is clearly drawing attention to the ways in which people often judge not by the content of our characters but by shallow intonation of our names and station in society. He is using these lines, and the two characters, to show how hypocritical and judgmental it is to uphold petty difference over the ideal of believing in the prospects of human connection. Shakespeare was a radical in his day- he pulled no punches to criticizing the aristocracy or the values of post-feudal hierarchal institutions.  

Swift took such an intentional aspect of his work, his social reform efforts, and purposely divorced it from the line. Thus, remaking, rewording, it into her line, which was a silly, and self-centered, petulant line about how people really should have been nicer to her because she’s a good girl. It’s so fucking stupid- imagine trying to remake Shakespeare without understanding Shakespeare. I cannot abide- now that I’m grown, and no longer a child, who could mindlessly listen to her bastardization of important literary work- I simply must speak up. It’s important because, I think, that her purposeful misuse of the work- making it devoid of social reform- says a lot about her intentions as a person. She’s not the activist people think she is- she's just another pseudo-intellectual grifter.  

Anyway, I’m glad you found something worthwhile in that post- and I hope you’ve enjoyed some of my other posts since then. I admit that I sometimes venture into posting mere opinion- but for my more serious posts I will stick to interrogation of her work through literary invocation. It’s just what I know best.  

If anyone has any questions about my posts- or confusions about my vocabulary use- I am happy to chat and answer questions! I really meant it when I told that person that I would be happy to re-explain using some different words. Sometimes- I get carried away and slip into “academic jargon” but that’s not what I want my blog to devolve into. I want to share information with people who perhaps have not studied literature- or English. I wouldn’t judge anyone just for having a question or being confused about a certain word. I, myself, make a habit of studying other languages- besides English- and that does wonders for keeping me humble about my own knowledge of English. Haha. :) I do not express myself nearly so well in French or German- so it becomes much easier for me to empathize with those who have a hard time expressing themselves with language too. Language is hard- learning is even more difficult. But what a wonderful, rewarding venture it is to ask a question and learn something new!  

I encourage people’s curiosity- truly.  

And yes- I will certainly be posting about other artists as well. Haha, now that I feel comfortable doing so- I will have some fun with it :)  

Thank you for writing in- I am sending you well-wishes and good vibes.  

[sugar-omi]

im reading an article about masahisa fukase, who took pictures of his wife every day she left the house. (the book is called "from window"), because i saw *this tweet and started reading replies which led to me reading the article where it explains she divorced him and how he went into a coma for 20 years, where she visited him twice every month.

and let me quote this part to you

He died in 2012, having been in a coma for 20 years following a near-fatal fall down the stairs of his favorite bar in 1992.

Yoko visited him twice a month throughout his long limbo - though, heartbreaking, he would have been unaware of her presence. "He remains part of my identity," she said, adding: "With a camera in front of his eye, he could see; not without."

it also says that he wished to control yoko, and also the world, by taking pictures. hoping to freeze time. and.. imagine this, specifically this quote and fukase's wish, with baxter.

baxter who is so helplessly in love with you. he loves you so much, that he takes every chance to capture your beauty.

he loves every picture of you.

but he's so obsessed with time. with mortality. with you.

he's missed out on so much during his younger years. pulling away from everyone who did love him, pulling away from those who reached out their hand to him.

mostly kept away from genuine, friendly people. they always knew how to pull him in, he was a sucker for kindness and genuineness. like you and your friends, or like qiu, tama, and ren.

tried to please his parents at times, mostly tried to rebel and irritate them. and succeeded, even when he wasn't trying.

so many years wasted.. hiding and running from life's simple pleasures. from friendship and companionship

that's why he keeps taking pictures of you, keeps trying to capture the world in a still state. because maybe. if it freezes for long enough. he can catch up...

but also, if you're always willing to be his muse. always a subject of his work.. then he still has control of himself. his life.

you're a constant. something that always happens without fail.

without fail, before you go to your destination, you're at the bottom of your window, posing for him. making a face. shouting at him.

even if you're upset at him.. you wait under the window while he takes that picture, a frown deep on your lips.

it's not much, but he still has something always in the palm of his hand. and that's you waiting at the bottom of the window.

but he loves you. God he loves you so much. some days you don't take pictures from through the window, he's too sick to get out of bed or he's gone ahead of you.

some days you're upset with him, or running late, and the only picture he takes is your frame running for the bus, the edges of your silhouette fuzzy and blurred.

but he still has pictures of you on your date the next night, and he has pictures of your bare form the night before yesterday.

but he's so busy looking through the camera... changing the setting, wiping his lense, and sorting his photos. that he doesn't notice when summer turns to winter. or winter into next spring. doesn't notice the new lines on your forehead or how your fingers sometimes shake when trying to open a jar

doesn't notice the gray in his hair. not the.. deep gray of his natural hair. but the light gray strikes that turn to ribbons of gray and white.

doesn't notice how dull his wedding ring is from years of wear and lack of polishing. doesn't notice how his favorite dress shoes have scratches and scuffs along the side and tip of the shoe

doesn't notice that his dinner is cold. doesn't notice that you don't hug him back when you go to sleep. doesn't notice your lipstick doesn't stain his cheek when he sleeps, or that your hoodie is too heavy and big on his shoulders.

only notices when the sunlight from the window hits your face perfectly, and he sees the age.

only when you don't smile or tease or shout at him from below the window like before.

only when you ate before him, telling him you couldn't wait for him to take pictures. when you stop talking to him so cheerily. when you stop looking at him with admiration and love, with awe whenever he holds the camera so expertly and insists on having you as his muse

he compares the photos from your youth and he sees happiness, he sees love, and life and he sees his whole world.

now, in some photos, he sees tiredness and aching, defiance. irritation. boredom, even...

your back is to the camera more than before. when you are facing it, your chin is tilted towars your book, or your eyes are closed, sleeping in your fluffy king bed. the light doesn't bounce off your ring like it used to.

the ones of you smiling, laughing at him from the other side, makes his heart thump and clench. he's racing.

but in others you look tired of the camera. your lips aren't frowned, but they aren't smiling either. and your eyes are heavy, not with lust or mischief or drowsiness. it's exhaustion, but it's the mental kind. it's the kind where you're at the end of your rope with this camera forever at the other end of your table

you don't see your husband

you see a camera. the damn camera that haunts you nightly and daily.

of course, there are ones where you smile. you're not entirely miserable.

but instead of seeing his beloved muse, his darling spouse. his hearts treasure.

he sees his treasure on display. in their pretty glass case in the middle of the showroom. he sees a ballerina trapped in her music box, forever spinning to the same tune.

he sees Mona Lisa looking at him through her frame, smiling and revered.

he tries to pull you from that painting. putting on his scuffed dress shoes and that same brown suit from your first date, he sets himself on the other end of you. not the camera.

he can't help but think of how the low lighting of the restaurant would suck to take pictures in right now. that he needs his setup, and he wonders if they'd be willing to let him bring all that to capture the moment here...

but you're twinkling. like you're afraid to sparkle but too enthused not to.

he swallows around the urge to capture time claws at his throat. it's beating down the door to his chest and he's trying to keep it from his aching heart.

he does try.

but when you run ahead to see the ducks on the lake, floating on top of the pearly lake, he can't help that his phone camera finds your form

it's not nearly as good as a real camera. it's pixelated and fuzzy. he has to step closer to get more details

but it's worth it, the way your face is bright and the way the wind blows is unusually perfect, shards of light slip through the cracks of thick leaves overhead

and when you turn your head, wanting him to see the family of ducks on the water, you don't mind the phone in his hand.

if you step into the frame for a moment, return to the stage of your music box, it's okay. because today was beautiful. it was so beautiful.

you sat in bed with him, the only thing between you two, the thin bedsheets and the breakfast tray. and the sand is still between your toes, and your feet are terribly dry from dipping into the sea.

baxter retracing the steps of your second meeting, plus a few extra stops to new establishments youve been waiting to enter, new mueseums and front row to your favorite theater show.

and his hand solid in yours, his eyes stuck on you like glue... so it's okay to let him pet your cheek and kiss you in the middle of this park.

because your heart is beating again with excitement, and you're thrilled with how much you had fun today.

and the next time, when he plans a sudden getaway trip for you two.

it's okay if he points the camera at you. because when you're bored, or teasing, or angry at him. you snatch it from his hands and now you're staring back at pictures of his porcelain face. with the filter on, you notice a new beauty mark under his eye easily, but you never needed it to know. but he did.

and you tuck the only picture he let you keep of his irritated face into your nightstand once you're home, you stick it under the one of him shielding his eyes from the sun and when you open thay drawer, the only thing you see is the top of his head and the birds in the sky.

there's thrills. there's always been moments of thrills. that's why youre in the frame, that's why you're his muse.

but when the day is dull. and most days are dull. some days, a couple more than you'll admit, you are tired of the camera.

some days, you want to smash that camera. smash the camera and bang your fists against his chest, slap his cheeks until he sees without the lenses.

but then he grabs the camera, and he parts your knee for you. tucks that hair behind your ear. folds the cuff of your jeans the way he wants. clasps his jewelry on your neck or wrist

and then you pick up the frame, and immortalize the moment, because even though your heart aches. and aches greatly. you love how he looks at you. how he captures your every move as if you haven't done it a hundred times before...

[katlyntheartist]

If there is one thing you’d change about the Sonic movies, what would it be?

The human characters. Tom and Maddie, for as fine as their performances are, don't really have much personality to them. They mostly serve as Sonic's caretakers but that's mostly it. We never get to see much of their interests or their personalities or character, aside from fanfics which take the time to flesh them out as actual people with hobbies and interests. Especially with Tom in the first movie, I would have liked to see the moment where he changes from seeing himself as Sonic's friend to seeing himself as Sonic's father figure.

I'm mad at the Knuckles show for not having Maddie try to bond more with Knuckles. She said at the end of the second movie that she liked him and that he made her laugh. Instead of her going bad sitcom mom and getting mad at Knuckles when he chased away the workers or when made the throne out of her car, she should have sat down with him and had a conversation about why those things aren't ok and how things on Earth are different from his home. We could have had Maddie try to reach out to Knuckles only for him to close her off because he doesn't see her or Tom or even Tails and Sonic as his new tribe yet. He's still learning to adjust and feels like he doesn't belong. This has been covered better in fanfics so that's all I'm going to say about that. Also the show should have cut back to Maddie, Sonic, and Tails trying to fins Knuckles but realizing that G.U.N has ben spying on them, and they go to confront Walters about it. I understand that budgetary issues and actor schedules were probably the main reason why this didn't happen and thus 'twas not to be.

I'd also adjust Rachel's character a bit. She teeters on the line between a very funny and sassy aunt who can kick butt and break ankles to almost being a generic angry black woman who's personality is just being angry and wanting Maddie to divorce Tom.

No surprise to anyone who's read my fan comic but Jojo should have gotten to spend more time with Sonic in the first movie and should have been introduced to Knuckles and Tails in the second movie. She's a very sweet character and her actress is great, I just wished that the writers did more with her instead of just making her like every other super sweet character you see in media. I want mid 2000s Kim Possible vibes for Jojo, a girly-girl who likes makeup and dresses and is genuinely sweet and kind but if you tick her off or if she sees you hurting her friends, she will absolutely break your ankles. Like mother, like daughter :)

In the Knuckles show she should have been given a cameo or a hint to the audience that she had regular playdates with Sonic or something like that. I hope that we get more of her in the third Sonic movie but I'm not getting my hopes up too high.

[44-mr-midnight-44]

So I thought of a new CCCC idea, based on my Lost at Sea canon (where Heart and Mind look mostly canon-accurate, live on an isolated "mindscape" island, Soul is a depressed, emotionally distant parental-esque figure, etc.)

Basically, here's the general summary (WARNING FOR: suicide/overdosage, mild NSFW, child abuse, brief mention of pregnancy + child birth, brief CPS mention, alcohol, birth deficiencies, and drugs):

There's this dude named Cyrus. An Australian immigrant to New York that lives alone in an apartment paid partially by his parents and partially by whatever money he can get his hands on; primarily through music commissions or random work around the neighbourhood, such as repairing a smoke alarm or some yard work.

Cyrus is very lonely, and very depressed. The only company he has in his life is his pet pigeon, the various cityfolk whom have grown used to his company, the occasional phone call from one of his parents, and one woman who didn't leave him, at least not yet, Cyrus seems to think.

Cyrus was rarely in his apartment for longer than a few days at a time. He lived for the thrill of going on small adventures around the city; waking up on the couch of someone's apartment, arguing with a taxi driver about the justification of raising the local bagel shop's bagel prices, witness the oncoming divorce of the couple running the couple's hair salon… it was the only thing that brought his life meaning.

Cyrus slept around a lot. It was one of the only things that could bring that false sense of companionship to him. He ended up having a night with a woman, believing it to be the end of that until around five years later Cyrus gets a call that the woman had gotten pregnant, many years back, and give birth to two twins; both of which were now in the middle of a custody dispute after their mother was arrested for hard drugs.

Cyrus wasn't a terrible man. He understood these two kids almost definitely went into this world roughly, being born either in the back of an Uber or a basement, and he wasn't about to have them end up in foster care after how blatantly obvious it was that their life was bad already.

He didn't know what to call the two as they had no official birth certificates; he just tended to call them "[thing one]" and "(thing two)" to humour them, but they didn't seem like very giggly kids. Mostly shy, reserved, didn't even smirk at the same things most kids would cackle at.

They called his pigeon a "([city chicken])" and called his guitar a "([sound broom])", so he could only figure how sheltered they must've been. They flinched at the sound of a pill bottle rattling and snapped their head in the direction of a can opening. Poor things.

Cyrus wasn't the best father himself. Most of the time, he'd leave them to their whims, often times leaving the apartment for lengthy periods with a note saying where the food was, how to use the microwave, what channels they were allowed on the television, his laptop's password if they wanted to play on it, etc. He wasn't very responsible and absolutely emotionally distant, but he still made a vague attempt. A marvel CPS was never called, in the short time they went to school. The kids were more like young friends to him than actual children of his own.

Well, all… mediocre things must come to an end. Remember that woman I mentioned earlier? Well, Cyrus and her had been getting along great. They saw a few concerts, shared a few coffees, cuddled a bit under the stars… She got along well with the pigeon, and the kids, he thought she might be the patch to the hole in his soul.

Cyrus had wanted to confess; deeply, deeply badly. But he feared rejection, even deeper. He didn't want to mess this up; he'd confessed before and ruined everything. He can't ruin this also.

Then, he got news the next day. Tearful words from her mother saying gooey pills lined her cheek after she took her own life; she felt unloved, lonely, like she had no connections to make a life out of.

Cyrus… broke.

Bad.

His consciousness was essentially shattered; and to reshapen, it needed bits of himself to work off of.

It bled into a fabric of reality and created the Mindscape; a secondary, small world higher than the Sun where his sleeping soul would lie in when his waking body wouldn't wake.

It took the closest things to him, the remaining genetics he had left, you know. The kids. And repurposed their souls in attempt to rebuild itself; converting them into two, very important niches.

The Logical Side. The Thoughts, the Reason.

And the Emotional Side. The Love, the Hate.

They were now designated the Heart, the Mind, and the Soul.

Parts of their identity still remained; Heart had retained his physical weakness and disability, of which his mother's substance abuse during his development prompting his muscles to be underdeveloped, as well as taking on an "(angelic)" form from his mother's name for him, Angelica ("Angel", for short.). Mind had grown a dependency on a voice modulator to speak, of which he posed a similar issue in his previous form due to being choked by his mother repeatedly and thus having a weak, hushed voice; his form as a robot stems from his name as a human, Bishop. Named after the Android character from the Aliens series.

Heart and Mind have very, very blurry memories from when they were human. It doesn't help that they were so young when it happened, now being ageless (albeit pretty much adults, but erm… not doing anything weird). Soul is locked in a frenetic state; terrified of what he's become, believing he needs to be the sum of his parts to become normal again.

When Whole is asleep, he's conscious as Soul; a cacophonous, hateful beast, shapen by ire and self-loathing that believes he will never be normal again. When Soul is asleep, he's conscious as Whole; believing he is locked in a mundane, helpless life, where he remains trapped in his own misery, having lost everything near and dear to him. Both of these two believe one another are merely distant dreams, despite being two sides of the coin of the same person.

Also, Soul's pigeon is in the Mindscape too now. He is now a chicken. Because Heart and Mind thought he was a chicken when they met him. Yes, his name is Darrell.

…Is it obvious that I absolutely love insane canon-divergence and trauma response psychology/symbolism.

If any of this is disrespectful I am so so so so sorry 🙏 it is NOT my intent, I really love portraying real world harsh subjects through a more fantastical, supernatural lens and exploring how they can affect someone, or multiple people. Please please if you are going to tell me this is not cool be gentle, I am very very very very VERY sensitive!!!

Also DO NOT REBLOG THIS WITH ANYTHING SHIPPY OR ANY KIND OF ROMANTIC/SUGGESTIVE INTENTION THIS IS NOT MEANT TO BE A HAPPY STORY!!!!!! NO ONE WINS IN THIS STORY UNTIL I FIGURE OUT A SAPPY HAPPY ENDING LIKE I DO WITH ALL OF MY STORIES!!!!!!!

[timkontheunsure]

I’d like your opinion on a few theories about something Viv teased about the next episodes. She said that they culminate in the ending of an arc they’ve been building up for awhile. I have 3 theories what that could be

1. Blitz-overcoming his low self esteem and demons, able to move on

2. Stolas- he stands up for himself against the goetia, possibly stripped of his title.

3.stolitz- they finally talk, possibly confess and reconcile

Or it could be a combo of all 3. But it sounds like she’s talking about a specific arc, and while I’d like for it to be Stolitz development, I have a feeling it’s a specific character arc.

What do you think?

Humm ok (again obligatory warning about head injury, so sorry about typos, or not connecting things properly ect).

But kinda think all 3 are getting advanced, but only 1 of them finished by the end of this season.

1)Blitz-overcoming his low self esteem and demons, able to move on.

Well we've definitely had some of that Oops and Blitz getting the unattainable of Fizz forgiving him, and being his best friend again.

And I think we're going to see some of that trauma get explored in Ghostfuckers.

It's also likely that it's going to be the episode with Blitz's hearing he makes everything worse from evil Millie.

But I don't think that's going to be neatly packed away, because Barbie's met to be back in s3.

It also doesn't quite make sense if that's not the main focus of the last two episodes. Mastermind and Sinsmas don't seem to be able that. Though we do appear to have the least clips about those.

But honestly mostly because this show understands trauma is with us for the long haul. We can unpack it, make it lighter to carry, but it's always with us.

2) Stolas- he stands up for himself against the goetia, possibly stripped of his title.

Could be. A big theme is Stolas learning he's allowed to choose, but also setting up one hell of a backlash for stepping out of line.

We've had a theme of people standing up to the powerful.

With Blitz standing up to Ozzie for M&M,

Loona standing up to Bee,

Fizz standing up to Mammon.

Stolas either telling Paimon, or the Goetias council, that he's getting the divorce no matter what they do; could play into that theme.

The tile striping seems fairly likely, but possible down the road. Maybe suspension first?

But again I don't think that's going to be nice wrapped up either. With the trail plot starting in series 3.

Assuming that'll be about the book deal, because chekhov's gun says it's gotta blow up in their faces at somepoint.

Also Stolas coming out in his 30s was always going to be a bit messy.

Can't really see that being fully over in a couple of episodes because this show gets trauma, and missed developmental stages and secondary adolescence take a while to work through.

(Take it for someone who was parentified from an early age, you don't really get to move on till you've dealt with it. Even if it's as small as being silly every now and again. Or just keeping a teddy.)

Pretty sure this is why Stolas has to hug himself to sleep. (Link for people that have no clue what I'm on about here)

3)stolitz- they finally talk, possibly confess and reconcile.

Yer this would be my bet for the one that's getting nicely tied up.

Best guess it'll be them both admitting they love eachother.

Because Blitz has spent the first 2 series pretending as hard as possible that he doesn't like Stolas, and definitely doesn't love him.

(Despite everyone around him, but Stolas, able to tell he's head over heels for his fluffy owl).

I'm not expecting miracles with our sweet dummies though.

That's kinda all I'm expecting to sort.

With them probably not full getting together because of issues they need to work though, the divorce, Stella's abuse and plot to kill Stolas, and Via being against them dating ect.

(She's gotta be called CockblOctavia for a reason after all. Ok had to add the other link to Brandon calling her that, cus too funny).

[child-of-of-the-sunshine]

Prologue

A/N: I caved. I had to write the twins I blame @snapghoul for this twin brain rot, but this is very different and only a hit of Seresin twin it’s mostly OC!Owens x Scott, yes I caved again and I’m writing for Scott. Also for this Scott is helping the wranglers all tie have been cut with Rigs and also there a is a little Tyler and Kate and some Sereshaw thrown in here…. Also huge shout out to snap for helping with this

Also huge shout to snap for helping edit this, and being my beta

🌪️🌪️🌪️

It was a sunny day in San Diego, Callie Owens was working her shift at the hard deck, not what you would think an engineering major and metrology major would be doing with her life, but that's what happens when you have a shitty ex-husband he was some big CEO in Dallas for an oil company. Callie had been expected to be the ideal housewife, hosting dinners, and playing the perfect wife. Rodeo was off—limits because he deemed it too dangerous. But after a major fight, during which something was hurled at her, she filed for divorce, packed up what little she owned, driving to her brother's house in Virginia where he was stationed at the time. She was determined to start anew, far from Dallas

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Her phone buzzed on the counter, where music was softly playing through its speaker. The screen displayed a cherished childhood of her, Jake, and Tyler, taken when they were 4 and 2 In the picture, they were riding one of the horses at their family ranch. The picture also hung up in the hallway of the family house, back in Texas, she could hear her phone ringing, but didn’t pay it any mind

“Callie you going to get that?” Amelia asked from where she was doing her homework at the bar “Yeah.” She said sighing, she walked and picked it up, seeing her older brother's face it was him after a ride in high school, he had just won and had the biggest smile on his face “Hey Ty.” She said, answering

“How is my favorite sibling?” He asked her, his voice was upbeat, it made her smile hearing him so happy

“Oh don’t let Jake hear you say that.” She laughed, Tyler laughed on the other end of the line “I have a job offer.” He said, smiling on the other end of the line

“Ty, I have a job already.” She said as she wiped down the counters

“A bartender is not a fitting use for that mind of yours sis.” He said, he was right and she knew it bartending wasn’t a good use of her smart brain, the job hardly seemed fitting for her

“I’m perfectly fine living in here.” She replied, part of her deep down though knew her brother was right “That's not what Jake says.” Tyler sighed

“Tyler I don’t need a rescue, I’m happy.” It was another lie from her

“How long has it been since you have been on a horse, put on a hat, put on those boots?” He questioned her

“I— I don’t know?” She questioned herself

“How long has it been?” He questioned her, he knew she needed a push this was that push

“What the job?” She questioned not wanting to think about the boots collecting dust in the closet of her room at Jake’s

“I need another meteorological engineer.” Tyler said, sounding hopeful his lil sister would join him ”hopefully before the season starts.” She understood her brother's need for her degrees. “Let me think about it please.” She said “Think about it, talk to Jake about, hell talk to Mom and dad.” Tyler said “Yeah.” She said before hanging up and setting her phone down,

Soon pilots started flowing into the bar. Penny took Amila home, she watched as her second family walked in, but her brother's words were nagging ‘How long had it been, it had to have been since after she started dating Mr. CEO’ “You look deep in thought.” Bradley said coming over and getting beers for him and Jake “Tyler called.”She shrugged her shoulders

“Tyler? What’d he want?” Bradley questioned her, she just nodded her head “Bradley the hell you do my sweet Callie?” Jake asked walking up to the bar

“Tyler called her.” He commented, “Oh yeah, what did he want?” Jake leaned against the bar tilting his head, he knew Tyle would never call her during work “Offered me a job, wants another member on his crew.” She mumbled, opening two bottles for Jake and Bradley

Jake hummed and nodded, he and Tyler both knew how much she needed a change “Take it, sis, what could go wrong?” “A lot of things.” Callie rolled her eyes

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The crew was eating dinner at Cathy’s and Tyler had to bring up, bring his sister onto the team for storm season but he had to talk it over with the crew “I’m thinking we bring on another engineer/meteorologist.” Tyler said during dinner “Is my engineering degree not good enough?” Scott asked, laughing “No it is, I just think an extra set of hands would be good.” Tyler said smiling “and ya know, it’s T’s lil sister.” Boone drawled with a nonchalant look and slung an arm over the back of his chair

“Whoa— back up Tyler has a sister?” Kate slammed her sweet tea down with a bewildered look. Boone just nodded with a smug look

“And a twin, wait til you meet him, Jake’s like a— ” Boone yipped and Tyler cut him off with a swat and a annoyed look

“But he gives only child.” Javi said, looking puzzled. “I’m the oldest of the three— five minutes older than Jake. Those five minutes of peace felt like a lifetime” Tyler laughed, letting out a sigh

“How would you know?” Lily asked,

“My parents say it,” Tyler replied, shaking his head and laughing

“Okay back to the sister.” Javi said getting back on track “She needs something to do other than being 26 and working at a bar in San Diego.” Tyler shrugged his shoulders

“Hasn’t she been moving around with Jake?” Dexter asked him

“Yeah, she’s lived in more states than me,” Tyler replied with a laugh

“What the hell does Jake do?” Kate inquired

“Navy fighter pilot,” Tyler said smiling proudly

“Do all Owens have their head in the clouds?” Scott teased,

“Technically mine and Callie’s last names are Seresin, but when we started doing rodeo we changed it to Owens, our mother’s maiden name. It's easier to say.” Tyler explained, “Yeah the only way you knew they were siblings was on paper.” Boone said shrugging “Unless you looked at Tyler and Jake.”

“You are a sibling to man.” Tyler said smiling at his best friend “Both me and Javy lived at your house growing up.” Boone laughed, shaking his head “I think it would be great.” Dani smiled, “I mean we’ve only heard stories about her.” Lily said

“She hasn’t gotten back to me. I might have pushed her too hard.” Tyler mumbled, clearly feeling guilty for bringing up a painful topic with his sister

“Ty, what the hell did you say?” Boone asked his tone sharp, knowing Callie’s story well

“Just asked her how long,” Tyler whispered

“Not cool man, you know that dick took away her sparkle,” Boone said giving Tyler a firm nudge. The crew looked on taken aback

“I agree with Dani— it’s a great idea.” Kate declared nodding in approval

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Callie was still thinking about what Tyler said when she got home from work “How long has it been?” She mumbled to herself, looking in her reflection in the mirror, she didn’t recognize the girl staring back at her, she no longer saw who she was before in the mirror anymore, her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the front door opening

“You want to tell me what all he said?” Jake questioned her, she nodded but didn't make eye contact with her older brother “You know what he said.” she mumbled if the house wasn’t so quiet, he probably wouldn’t have heard her “He wants you to use that brain for something other than bartending?” Jake questioned, Tyler messaged him earlier about this “He asked me how long it’s been— since I wore my boots or put on my hat, Jakey. I don’t even know.” Her voice broke as tears began to fall. She struggled to remember when she was just Callie Seresin, Jake walked over to her and wrapped her in a comforting embrace

“Kid.” Jake said pressing gentle kiss to her forehead. Despite being two years older, the nickname came naturally for him. Their parents were wonderful— don’t get that wrong— but they run a demanding livestock business OwenSeresin Company

“Look at me.” He said softly, as she met his gaze he continued “I think you should consider it— the city isn’t doing you any favors Cal.” He paused “I know Tyler won’t let anything happen to you.”