#see even as I’m talking about this I feel like I shouldn’t be talking about this

[starkeysprincess]

kissing u for giving me this idea cause I love frat daddy as stepbro!rafe! what if reader is 18 but in her last year of high school (I know even with age of majority that’s still kinda icky but it’s the only way this scenario would work🫣) so when rafe’s away for his first year at college before the events of s1, she knows it’s wrong but she’s always worried and jealous of what he could be doing there or what other girls he could be seeing, especially when she sees his and his frat brothers’ instagram pictures. he doesn’t always get back to her texts or calls, and even though she has needs too, she feels guilty for hooking up with any of her friends or trying to date to distract herself. so when he comes home for the holidays, she’s all mad at him and pushes him away and they get all angsty and he apologizes because you were always willing to wait for him and his approval and with him being as nasty as he is he has to remind you that you come first because “you’re my sister”🫠✨

— stepbro!rafe is away for his first year at college

warnings: stepcest, reader is 18 + rafe is 19, indent is a flashback, jealous!reader, mention of hooking up w jj, choking, hair pulling, spanking, mirror sex, degrading, praise, gagging, piv, unprotected sex, creampie, 18+ mdni !

a/n: i hope it's ok that i tweaked a few things such as rafe apologizing & reader graduated high school but doesn’t go to college cause she isn't sure what she wants to do!

“gonna miss you,” you frown into your stepbrother’s chest, hugging him tightly. he rested his chin on the top of your head, “i’ll miss you too, but hey, i’ll be home for the holidays, and i’m only a phone call away. you could call me or text me anytime, i’ll make sure to get back to you when i can, alright?”.

when rafe left for college, he responded to you when he could, just like he said he would. talking to him nearly every day almost made it feel like he wasn’t hours away from home. however, a month passed, and you started to hear less from him until your calls and texts were unanswered. at first, you assumed you weren’t hearing from him because of how busy he may have been with classes, and it wasn’t until you came across instagram posts from him and his fraternity brothers that he was too busy partying to get back to you.

it was his first year at college, and you knew you shouldn’t be upset; you had no right to be. especially when it was the only time he had freedom away from home, specifically from ward. it didn't stop you from missing rafe; you couldn’t help but think about what else he could be doing, and no matter how much you tried, knowing it was wrong, your mind started to wander over who he could be with.

when two more months had passed and still no communication from rafe, you sought out a distraction through jj maybank, who was unknowingly helping you take your mind off your stepbrother. the more time you had spent with jj, the less you thought about rafe and the promise of not running to anyone that wasn't him.

the promise you made was pushed into the back of your mind until one night, as you were about to sneak out of the house to see the blonde pogue, you received an incoming call from rafe. you could feel the guilt consuming you the longer you stared at his name, itching to answer. but your bitterness got the best of you, your finger tapping 'decline' before quietly leaving your house, not knowing rafe was calling to tell you he'd be home for the holiday.

a week later and yet another late night with jj, you tip-toed up the stairs, ensuring not to wake anyone up. just as you were about to reach your bedroom, you froze in your spot, looking like a deer in headlights, when the door to the room across from yours swung open. "sneaking back in?", his hand encircled your wrist, pulling you into his room and shutting the door behind you. “rafe, what are you doing here?” your brows furrow, more than confused as to why he was home.

“missed you, princess," his hands slid up your waist, walking you back until your lower back pressed against his dresser, "if you had answered when i called, you would’ve known i was coming home for the holidays.”.

your palms pressed at his firm chest, pushing him away when he started peppering kisses along your jaw. "what? what's wrong?" rafe asks, "don’t tell me you’re upset cause i made you promise not to go to anyone else while i was away on campus.”.

“i can't be upset over that when i’ve been seeing jj,” the words rolled off your tongue with ease, “i don't know why it matters anyway when you've been ignoring me for the past few months, probably too busy sleeping around with sorority girls every weekend”.

rafe’s nostrils flared the second jj's name slipped from your mouth, “what did you just say?” he gritted his teeth, removing his hand from your waist to grab your throat. “what?” you bat your eyes innocently, “don't act all innocent, you've been fucking around with maybank, huh?”.

"what happened to being my good girl? guess your poor, needy little pussy couldn't handle being empty for a few months, hm?" rafe snickered, "and now you wanna push me away all 'cause i've been too busy?".

your mouth gaped open to speak, only for him to cut you off, "is that why you're pushing me away, acting like you didn't miss me and your panties aren't soaking wet right now? ".

rafe spun you around to face the mirror of his dresser, bending you over. his large, warm hands slip under your skirt, pushing the article of clothing around your waist. his fingers hooked into the elastic of your panties, pulling them down to pool around your ankles. "step out of them," he ordered, delivering a sharp smack to the fat of your ass; when you didn't oblige, "don't make me tell you twice.".

rafe bent down, grabbing your panties before standing back up. his hand reached around, cupping your jaw, your lips parting when his fingers dug into your skin as he squeezed your cheeks. rafe shoved the silk material into your mouth and his lips brush against the shell of your ear, "you want an apology? fine, here's your apology.".

his free hand dipped between your legs, chuckling as he ran his fingers through your slick folds. “i’m sorry, princess…” he cooed, extending his thumb to rub circles to your clit, pulling a soft moan from you.

a desperate whine bubbled in your throat at the loss of friction on your puffy clit, your heart racing in anticipation at the sound of fabric rustling behind you. rafe nudged your thighs further apart with his knee, slotting himself between your legs. his palm rested on the small of your back as you squirmed under him, feeling the thick head of his cock sliding up and down your folds.

he grabbed a fistful of your hair, yanking your head back to make you look at him in the reflection, watching your eyes roll back as his thick cock stretches you deliciously, “sorry that my poor girl was so fuckin’ needy to the point she had to run to a pogue of all people.”.

“shit…missed being buried deep in this sweet cunt,” rafe groaned, "guess i gotta ruin this tight little hole; make sure you don't go runnin' back to jj, huh?" he taunted, slowly pulling back, leaving just the tip of his cock inside you.

"don't worry, by the time i'm done with you, all that pretty little head and pussy is gonna think about is how much she missed and ached for my dick," rafe sucked his teeth, your body jolting forward, biting down on the pair of panties stuffed in your mouth as he slammed himself back into your willing cunt.

your hands grip the top of his dresser, eyes barely staying open. a loud, muffled yelp forces its way through the flimsy silk fabric stuffed in your mouth when rafe harshly tugged at the roots of your hair, "did i say you could close your eyes? keep 'em open, want you to watch me fuck you like the needy little cockwhore you are.".

rafe removed his hand from your hair, snaking it around your throat to hold your head upright. he buried his face into the crook of your neck, biting and sucking hard enough to leave bruises on your flesh. he leaned forward, putting all his weight onto you and pressing his chest to your back, "this s'all you wanted, yeah? just wanted to be stuffed full of my cock again?".

drool soaked through the silk as his cock pounded into you relentlessly. you grabbed onto his arm, struggling to keep your eyes open, and your nails bite into his skin as the tip of his cock repeatedly hits your cervix. rafe’s eyes flicker to look at the two of you in the mirror, “look at how pretty you look takin’ my dick,” he praises.

“came way too many fuckin’ times to the thought of you…been craving feeling your pussy around my cock again since the day i left,” rafe rasped. “especially feeling you cum all over my cock,” he groaned as he felt your walls flutter around him.

“c’mon, princess, cream all over my cock and make a mess like you used to,” he nipped your ear, holding you steady as your legs trembled. your pussy convulses around him, his hand clamping around your mouth to further muffle your cry of pleasure as you cum all over his thick cock.

your orgasm triggers rafe’s, his hips slowly pumping into yours as they become sloppy. he gives you one more harsh thrust, his hips stilling, pushing his cock deep inside you, and letting out a moan as thick ropes of cum spill into you, painting your walls white.

rafe removes your panties from your mouth, your chest heaving, small pants filling the room. your breath hitches in your throat when his hips slowly rolled into yours, “how’s that for an apology? or you still need some convincing?”.

taglist: @oceandriveab @babygorewhore @cameronsprincess @starkeysbabygirl @bloodibambiidoll @fallbhind @sematarygirls @nemesyaaa @ilovefiction4lmen @zyafics @sturnioloshacker @heartsforvin @cxrrodedcoffin @rafeyscurtainbangs @rafesthroatbaby @jjslaybank @kisses4angels @littlelamy @rafesangelita @starkeygirlposts @drewsarms @hallecarey1 @fallrafwe @sturnskiss @blckbrrybasket @wearemadeofstardust0 @honeybunniesoobin @starkeysbebe @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @starkeysheart @rafeinterlude @starkeyisthelastname @flvredcas @emilysuperswag @proxy-princess @hyperfixationgirl @ijustwanttoreadlols @slumnit @cl4uus @coco-cinnamon @stoned-writer

[daisymbin]

Mingyu x fem!reader

Angst - 18. "i thought you were different." with reader saying that.

Also happy ending pleeeeaaase 🥺👉👈

thank you for requesting! 🥰

request your own: full prompt list!

check out my masterlist!

angst prompt #18: "I thought you were different."

you sat on the edge of the couch, arms tightly crossed as you tried to process the whirlwind of emotions racing through you. mingyu stood a few steps away, looking like he was caught in a storm, his expression somewhere between panic and heartbreak.

“it wasn’t what it looked like,” he started, his voice trembling. “please, baby. you have to believe me.”

you let out a bitter laugh, the sound cutting through the tense silence. “believe you? mingyu, i saw you with her. do you even know what that feels like for me?” your voice cracked, and you hated how vulnerable you sounded.

"baby, i wasn’t—it wasn’t like that,” he stammered, taking a hesitant step forward. “she’s just a friend. she was crying about her boyfriend, and i was just trying to comfort her.”

you shook your head, the image of him leaning close to another girl still fresh in your mind. “you don’t get it,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “i’ve been here before. i’ve seen this before, mingyu. my ex…” your words faltered as you swallowed the lump in your throat. “my ex used to do the same thing. he’d tell me it was nothing, just a friend. and the whole time, he was—” your breath hitched as the painful memories resurfaced. "I thought you were different," you whispered timidly, mingyu doesn't miss the disappointment and heartbreak in your voice.

mingyu’s face crumpled as he took in your words. “sweetheart…” his voice was barely a whisper, thick with emotion. “you think i’m like him?” his words were soft, but the hurt behind them was unmistakable.

“i don’t know what to think,” you admitted, your hands gripping your arms tighter as if to shield yourself from the pain. “when i saw you with her, it felt like i was right back there again. it felt like—like i wasn’t enough. like i never will be.”

“don’t say that.” mingyu’s voice broke, and suddenly he was kneeling in front of you, his hands reaching for yours but stopping just short, unsure if you’d let him touch you. “baby, you’re everything to me. everything. how could you even think—” his voice cracked, and he dropped his head, his shoulders trembling.

you looked down at him, his vulnerability catching you off guard. he wasn’t angry. he wasn’t defensive. he was hurt—deeply hurt—and it made your chest ache in a way that felt unbearable.

“i know what he did to you,” mingyu continued, his voice barely audible. “i know how much he hurt you. and it kills me that you’d think i could ever… that you’d see me like that.” he lifted his head, his eyes meeting yours, glassy with unshed tears. “do you really think i could do that to you? to us?”

you hesitated, his words slowly sinking in. the mingyu you knew wasn’t like that. he wasn’t manipulative, or mean, or sneaky, or cruel. he was open, loving, and kind, and he wore his heart on his sleeve. you’d let your fears and insecurities cloud the truth, and now you could see how much it had hurt him. because mingyu would never intentionally hurt you.

“mingyu, i—” your voice faltered as you tried to find the words. “i don’t think you’re like him. i just… i got scared. i saw you with her, and it felt so familiar, and i panicked.” tears of vulnerability now stream down your face.

his hands finally found yours, and when you didn’t pull away, he clung to them like a lifeline. “i understand,” he said softly. “i just… i don’t ever want you to doubt how much you mean to me. you’re not just someone to me, my love. you’re it. you’re everything.”

the sincerity in his voice, the raw emotion in his eyes, made the remaining walls around your heart crumble. slowly, you nodded, your grip on his hands tightening. “i’m sorry,” you whispered. “i shouldn’t have assumed the worst. i should’ve talked to you.”

“no, don't apologise," he said, his thumb brushing over the back of your hand. “i should have been more aware, i should have been my careful especially knowing what you’ve been through, and i hate that i made you feel like this. but i promise, i’d never hurt you like that. i just couldn’t.” his hand reach out shakily to wipe your tears away.

"I trust you,"

and that was all mingyu needed, the relief that washed over mingyu’s face was immediate and overwhelming. he let out a breath he didnt know he had been holding, and his hands moved to cup your face, his touch warm and grounding. “thank you,” he murmured, his forehead resting against yours. “thank you for trusting me.”

���can we… can we just go to bed now?” he asked, his voice soft and almost shy. “i really want need to hold you.”

your chest tightened at his words, and you nodded, a faint smile tugging at your lips. “yeah,” you whispered.

he stood up, pulling you gently to your feet and wrapping his arms around you in a way that made you feel safe, cherished. as he led you to the bedroom, you felt the weight of the misunderstanding lift, replaced by the steady warmth of his love.

when you finally settled into bed, mingyu pulled you close, his arms tight around your waist and his face buried in your hair. “i love you,” he murmured, his voice laced with exhaustion but full of certainty. “so much.”

“i love you too,” you whispered back, your fingers tracing soft patterns on his arm.

[kkayyerr]

Problem.

Summary: Pogues abandoning little!reader after she did an awful mistake. Rafe is here to show her that she’s not alone.

Warnings: Age regression, angst, slight fluff in the end.

Words counter: 1,3 k

Author’s note: I used scene from the „Arcane” as the reference for this fic!!🫶🏻

Pogues had never shown their disappointment in you or even told you that they weren’t pleased with your actions. They never showed you any signs of anger, especially not when you were in the little space. No matter how bad your mistakes were, they would just try to ensure you that everything is alright. They didn’t want you to know how hard it is to clean up your mess. And you couldn’t even think of anything about them being tired of you. 

After all, every mistake can be fixed, right? 

Tonight you found out that you were actually wrong, and there are some mistakes that unfortunately can’t be fixed, not at all. 

 

„Stay here, kid.”

 

JJ said to you an hour ago, as they were getting ready to go on another fight with some people that they had introduced to you as the „bad guys." You wanted to help them, but since you were regressed, they came up with the decision that it would be better for you to just stay inside the truck while they would be dealing with all of that. You agreed, just so they wouldn’t have to worry about you while fighting, and then you watched them leave. 

 

„Good wuck…”

 

You whispered, but it seemed like nobody had heard you since they haven’t replayed, just closing the truck’s doors. Since they left, you became so much more anxious. 

What if they would get hurt? 

What if they would get killed?

What if, what if, what if...

You just couldn’t help yourself, but finding that small gun that was laying on the driver’s seat was very interesting. What if that small thing would help you get your friends out of trouble? You knew that you shouldn’t have touched the weapons, but you also knew that you wouldn’t let your friends get themselves in trouble. 

Slowly you got off the truck and immediately saw them, staying there, just a few miles away from you. And there were also those bad guys, threatening your friends. Your heart ached seeing them in fear, so you approached them and shot.

A couple of times. 

You obviously didn’t see how one of the bullets came through the JJ’s shoulder, and you also didn’t see that you almost shot Kiara right in the head. When the gun's magazine finally got empty, you opened your eyes, letting a weapon fall from your hands to the ground. Pogues were looking at you, and there was something on their faces that you had never seen before. It took a moment for you to understand that they were disappointed in you and also scared of what you just did. Everyone heads to the truck, letting JJ deal with you. They just didn’t know what to say, and they were obviously afraid of your reaction to their harsh words. 

JJ wasn’t even looking at you; he was looking through you, as if you were something that he was finally ready to leave behind. You felt how your eyes felt with tears just from the amount of guilt that you were feeling right now. You opened your mouth, but before you could start to speak, JJ just shook his head. 

 

„No. We’re done.”

 

He said, and his words made your knees weaker. He had never talked to you in such a cold manner, especially not when you were regressed. It seemed like you actually crossed the line trying to help them.

 

„They were right, you are a problem, and I’m sorry, but I don’t know how to deal with you anymore.”

 

His words were painful, but the sudden feeling of your knees hitting the hard ground brought even more pain, finally making you cry. Your cries were silent at first, but as soon as JJ had left your sight, silent sniffles turned into loud sobbing. 

 

„Pwease, don’t go.”

 

You hugged your bloody knees, whispering some sort of pleading out loud, even though you knew that nobody would hear you. Or at least you thought so. 

Rafe Cameron saw your small trembling figure, and he was intrigued. Something about that scene reminds him of himself when he was a child, left alone and crying for nobody to hear him. Rafe shook his head to get rid of that image. 

Why would Pogues leave someone behind? 

He almost felt bad, hearing your sobbing as he approached you. Your hair wet from the rain and your face puffy from all the tears. You probably needed someone to console you, or at least someone who would be there for you, right? And you would most probably do whatever it takes to not be abandoned again. 

 

„Why are you here alone, little one?”

 

He asked, crouching down in front of you, waiting for you to answer his question. You rubbed your eyes in a childish manner, trying to focus your gaze on the man. He wasn’t looking like he was planning to hurt you, and even if he would, it wouldn’t hurt as much as getting abandoned by a Pogues did. 

You looked at him for another second, and then you jumped on him, hugging him tightly with your little arms. Both of you were lying on the ground now, but he didn’t seem to protest. He didn’t hug you back, though, not yet. 

 

„They left me, Pogues left me.”

 

You whispered, trying not to start sobbing again. His eyes widened, as he couldn’t believe what he had just heard. How could they call themselves a family when they’re leaving their people behind? The thoughts of getting left were hurting your little heart so bad that you almost screamed but felt two strong arms picking you up from the ground just in time. You didn’t know who that man was, but the need in someone’s care right now made you desperate enough to accept his attention. You hugged his neck with your hands, hiding your face there as he was trying to calm you down. 

 

„I’m lonely”

 

Rafe chuckled at your pitiful voice, hugging you tighter. He wasn’t the big fan of hugs, but he knew that you needed that right now. He also knew that you were way too tired now to give him any information about yourself or at least explain what happened previously, but he also knew that you wouldn’t say „no” if he would offer you to go with him. 

 

„You won’t be lonely for too long, little one.”

 

His words were gentle; he didn’t want you to get scared or overwhelmed. He could tell that you were close enough to yet another tantrum just because of the stress that you had experienced from getting left alone. 

 

„I’m Rafe Cameron, can we be friends?”

 

You nodded, wanting at least someone to be around. You couldn’t stay alone, especially when you were regressed. He smirked at your response, knowing that he doesn’t want to be your friend. He wants to be your everything, and somehow you didn’t seem very against it.

 

„From that moment you will never be left alone again, baby.”

 

You looked at him with a small suspicion. It was hard for you to believe that someone might actually want to deal with you, and not leaving you behind when you would became too much. Rafe extended his pinky, his big hand approaching yours.

 

„Pinky pwomise?”

 

Your eyes widened, and your face turned more bright. For you, a pinky promise was something more meaningful than a signed contract or a proposal ring. You slowly connected your pinky with his, smiling happily. 

 

„Pinky promise.”

 

He reassured you, giving you a gentle kiss on the nose, making you smile once again. After he saw that smile, he knew he wouldn’t ever let anyone make you cry. 

Taglist: @marvelfanfics1 @aew-regression-cove @rafecameronsloverrrrr

[pedge-page]

Hiii the breastfeeding question that can be used as a question or to a fic I was just curious because I love the sexual ones but I was like would u do one just a sweet one Joel had stressful day at work or Joel can’t sleep and needs the boob to help him and then it comes into a routine every night before and when he wakes up has milk and I’m also loving the mommy fics too. But don’t worry on the response time 💓

Routine

Joel Miller x F!Reader

warnings: breastfeeding, somewhat sub!Joel, not sexual but still mature content

`18+ ONLY

- - - -

He doesn’t even have the energy to slam his truck door. The frame is bent at the top, making it close unevenly. Two, three, sometimes four or five tries before it actually clicks close. He’s been meaning to get it fixed, hell, even just take a hammer and knock it somewhat back into shape, but he’s just too fucking exhausted today.

He lays his head back against the headrest, wrinkled eyes closed upwards. His nose involuntarily wrinkles: the cushions smell like smoke too. Tommy borrowed the truck yesterday and lit up his packs. The little fucker. 

He doesn’t get weekends off. He doesn’t get 8 hour shifts. He gets whatever shovel, hammer, nail and mud that needs dished out. He bears it, grunts it, heaves and shovels until his bones are cracking. 

He needs home.

When Joel gets through the garage door, he sees the living room lamp light on. The girls must already be asleep. You were probably staying up awake for him. Suffering, because of him.

Fuck. He shouldn’t think about it like that. He’s grateful for you. For many reasons.

He feels shy, hesitating at the door, pretending he’s dropped something because he’s a little too embarrassed to ask this one thing of you. 

“Joel?” You call out softly. It’s like swan-song to his ears, delicate and sweet. 

He steps into the room. “Hey.” You tilt your head to the side with a warm, tired smile. 

“You okay?”

He swallows, looking away and rubbing the back of his head as nonchalantly as possible. 

You tsk him with a bemused smile. “C’mere,” you whisper, patting the open cushion next to you for his invitation.

He shuffles towards you, his hole-ridden socks gliding along the shag carpet like a toddler dragging his feet. Joel kisses your forehead, his scruffy chin brushing against your lashes briefly before you grasp his cheeks and urge him to lie next to you. He tosses his jean-clad legs up on the length of the couch, propping his elbow on the seat so that he can face you.

“Bad day?” You hum, kissing his eyelids one at a time. He breathes you in, momentarily feeling lost in your embrace. You nuzzle his nose with yours, his eyes flickering open to meet your gaze again.

“Mmm,” he grunts. It’s clear he doesn’t want to talk about it.

But his eyes drift a bit lower, fingers fiddling with the spaghetti straps of your silk night-top. His pointer traces over its path, knuckles grazing your collarbone as he pulls the strap slowly, exposing a bit more of your chest. He plays with it, like he’s telling you something without words, but still waiting for your say-so.

He glances back up at you through his brows. 

“Will it help you sleep?” You coo.

He nods with big round eyes, his lips leaning forward to press a kiss to your breastbone. 

You stroke his face lovingly, giving him the answer he needed as you and he both reach to pull the edge of your top down, revealing your ample breasts.

He huffs his hot breath over your nipple before blowing cool air like a whistle, loving the way it tenses from the temperature change.  He brushes his thumb over your other as his lips find your nub, kissing it repeatedly. His plush lips wrap so delicately around them, baby kisses spoiling your skin.

“Five minutes. And then to bed, okay?”

He doesn’t want to waste time then.

Joel re-situates himself over you, his forearm holding himself between your thighs. He latches on to your tit, humming around your areola and starting to gently suck. Closing his eyes, he breathes steadily through his nose. Nothing audible yet, but quickly the room fills with the sound of his swallowing as his mouth is filled with your warm breastmilk.

You close your eyes, still twirling his hair with your fingers. He’s not inching for anything more. No quickened case. The two of you fall into an almost hypnotic trance of sleepiness.

His warm tongue massages your breast muscles as he works more milk out of you. He takes almost exactly 2 and a half minutes from one breast, before pulling off with a slight kiss, a droplet of white balancing off his lower lip. He eyes your other breast before putting his mouth on it, eyes closing and repeating his steady sucking. 

It fills his belly so contently. Warm and sweet, traveling from your heated body directly onto his taste buds, down his throat and safely nourishing his stomach. There’s no rush. He knows you’re here, your hand gently yet tenderly placed behind his head, cupping him close so even if he loses himself in you, he knows you’re here to catch him.

If it weren’t for you to let him know its time to get to bed, he’d fall asleep right in your lap, titty still hanging from his mouth with milk pouring over the sides of his cheeks.

It’s been weeks since he’s had such a fulfilling slumber.

The next few days weren’t any easier on his body or mind. But you were never complaining. 

The two of you started settling up right in bed for your nightly routine. Joel resting his head in your lap, letting the milk just fall right onto his tongue thanks to gravity. He’d drink until he was practically snoring. Then you’d stroke his face soothingly, letting him sleep like that for hours until the morning. 

All the guys talked about going home to their wives or girlfriends to unwind. Have dinner. Cuddle. 

He’d wake, shifting your sleeping body into a more comfortable position, laid back while he hungrily undoes your shirt again and starts drinking his breakfast straight from your boobs.

When he’s halfway through the day, he sits in his trailer at the site, wishing you could visit him for lunch. He’d lock everyone out, pull the shades, set you on his lap, and suckle your breasts for his midday snack. He wouldn’t be able to let you go though, grumbling into your chest and wrapping his arms protectively around you like a child unwilling to let go of his mommy.

He does all three with you at the same time, putting him at ease and helping him sleep like the beautiful, caring, nurturing wife you’ve always been.

He hopes he can put another baby in you soon so that people don’t keep wondering why your breasts are still so plump full of milk despite both your kids already being well off breastfeeding… 

- - - -

Taglist:

@harriedandharassed @lola8888673 @its-nebuleuse @zliteraturehoe @merz-8 @joeldjarin @pascalscoffin @pedroshotwifey @ghostslillady @innerpersonunknown @missladym1981 @mrsoharaxx @survivingandenduring @milla-frenchy @cockykookiee @fairytale07 @daddy-din @pedropascalsbbg @spookyxsam @somehopeatlast @millercontracting @pedrostories @mishala005 @theoraekenslover @animez96 @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @puduvallee @cassiecasluciluce @loohoop @himboelover @callsignwidow @wintersquirrel @fluffygoffpanda @picketniffler @bbyanarchist

[look-at-the-soul]

Every little thing you do- Part 12

Tommy Shelby x reader

Series Master list

Hello… it’s me 🫢 with another part of this series, please forgive me for taking so long, hoping the inspiration fairies will visit me soon ✨so… how will their relationship turn after this? 🥰 thank you so much for reading!

Word count: 3,514

Tommy was losing his patience, there was a snitch ruining his plans and even though he was already taking care of that, he couldn’t let his guard down. He needed to convince the Russians to be on his side and keep Father Hughes close to find his weaknesses.

The more he thought about it, the more convinced he felt about it. After leaving the Petrovna gathering he was replaying in his mind Father Hughes’ reactions, he needed to take him down and he wanted to do it himself. That priest was everything but an example to people, arrogant, thought he knew all about everything and it irritated Tommy. But the key to him was through the Russian family.

Perhaps he could eventually make the Petrovna family betray themselves if he played his hand correctly, they were desperate for money and status. He just needed to be really careful and play his part.

With a groan he made his way upstairs, feeling his steps heavy. Ada would go to sleep whenever she wanted, he had asked Mary to have a room ready for her and Karl all the time because lately they’ve been staying over more frequently. His sister had been so helpful with the last touches to the foundation, she made sure the grand opening was successful and everything was running according to the original plans. He tried to push it as long as possible, but delaying the project to wait for Y/N to wake up would be unfair for the children and deep down he knew she wouldn’t want that.

Feeling tired he threw the jacket of his suit on the bed, followed by his tie. Taking the gun from its holster, he placed the weapon in the small of his back using the waistband of his pants as support. Discarding the rest of his clothes, his mind went to the following steps of his plans, he was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t hear the knock on his door.

“Mary?”

But he heard Ada’s voice clearly followed by a gasp and a Jesus.

Turning around he found the door slightly open and he heard voices in the hallway.

“What’s the matter?” He quickly went to see what was happening.

“I j-just knocked to see if you needed anything Mr. Shelby.” Mary stammered.

Ada stared at the maid and then looked at her brother, confusion evident in her eyes.

“No thank you Mary, you can have some rest.” He quickly replied.

Just as Ada was about to talk to him, Karl started crying in her bedroom so she excused herself and rushed to calm her son.

An overwhelming feeling washed over him and his eyes fixed in Y/N’s bedroom and he couldn’t help but walk in, everything was just like she left it. The bottle of perfume she refused to use in the beginning, her hairbrush and mirror, the jewelry box… as his eyes moved across the room, he found the trunk he bought for her just a few days before she got shot, his fingers trembled when he touched the perfect woodcraft at the top. Opening it and he felt his heartbreak in two as he realized Y/N had been filling it with blankets and clothes for her baby.

A sob escaped his lips. “I’m sorry.” He mumbled into the silence. And he was, he really felt sorry for what happened to Y/N.

That room shouldn’t be dark and lonely, she should be there.

Closing the trunk he felt his chest heavy, guilt was eating him alive. The feeling was more than he could handle and he rushed to leave. Once again inside his own bedroom, Tommy went straight for a glass of whiskey, downing in mere seconds.

He couldn’t do this, he couldn’t lay down on his bed and pretend to sleep peacefully while Y/N was battling for her life in the hospital. So he went downstairs, not bothering on putting his shirt on.

Pouring himself a drink, he sat in front of the fire, his eyes fixed on the flames flicking. The correspondence piled on his desk captured his attention, it had been accumulating since Y/N wasn’t reminding him to check it. Taking a sip of his drink, Tommy stood up to grab the envelopes, going one by one, he left a few letters directed towards the children’s Institute, he was saving those for Y/N. But suddenly his eyes stopped at one of the envelopes, in bold letters it said it was urgent and important.

Returning to his previous spot at the couch, he used his knife to open it and quickly ran his eyes through the words direct to any of Arthur Sr’s children.

It basically said that his father had passed away, he was shot.

Tommy stared at the letter for a while, his eyes fixed completely in the words. The news of his Father’s passing away took him by surprise and he couldn’t help it but think about how broken their relationship was. He couldn’t recall the last time he saw him, or a happy memory in his presence.

He was just a stranger, somebody who didn’t care about him or his siblings.

And for some reason, he didn’t feel pity for the old man. In the end the old man got what he deserved.

Battling with the internal turmoil, he decided to gather the following day his brothers and some peaky men to hunt, there wasn’t an ideal way to share the news and deep down he knew all his brothers had a difficult relationship with their father, but he hoped it was the right thing to do, to try to gain some closure.

That and sharing the plans for his next move, he needed to recruit the best men and also work on finding the Duchess’s weakness, she’d be fundamental to carry on his plans but she was smart and she’d want something in return.

And soon he’d confirm it, because by the time he returned home the following day there was a Bentley parked outside his house.

For fucks sake, he thought. He wasn’t expecting Tatiana it was just a bold move from her, she was desperate and pathetic.

Her seduction tactics were literally a joke, se was just a spoiled little princess living of dreams and people bowing. When she placed her hand on his cheek, Tommy didn’t feel anything, she’d probably provide a good blowjob, a wild one night stand… but that was it.

“You seem a bit off.” She soon realized by his lack of enthusiasm.

“I’m tired.” He lied, it slipped off his lips so easily.

“Mary is quite a character.” Tatiana stated folding her arms. “She seems so loyal.”

Tommy took his cigarette case and raised his eyebrows nonchalantly. “Hmm.”

“I’ve a theory about maids, there’s always one in love with her master, fantasizing about you, she’d do anything you ask.” The Duchess chuckled about her own words.

Tommy stared at her with his head tilted to the side. She was using her free time to make fucking theories about the maids instead of doing something useful.

“And what’s the result for your theory?”

“I think for you, that maid it’s Mary.” Tatiana laughed. “Haven’t you notice something off?”

Tommy wanted to roll his eyes at her. Her level of boredom amused but didn’t surprise him.

“Do you’ve an employee after you?” He asked instead.

“Oh yes. Maybe I can confirm it tonight, see her reaction squirming and getting uncomfortable.”

Tommy thought how twisted and sick Tatiana was. He didn’t want to know if her stupid theory was right, he didn’t want to put on a show in front of his maid.

He was desperately looking for a way to escape her, to find a way out of that situation because Tatiana seemed determined to carry on her own plans, but rejecting her, would cause him a lot of trouble so he needed to play along…just as he was about to sit next to her when the phone started ringing.

His heart stopped beating for a moment, sudden phone calls this late only meant bad news.

“Arrow House.” He replied automatically, praying for the first time.

“Tom? Is that ye?” Johnny Dogs asked.

“What’s the matter?”

“It’s Y/N…. She’s awake.”

Tommy didn’t listen to the following, Johnny’s voice sounded so far away. He felt underwater, like he was dreaming, the shovels on the wall hammering his brain. Somehow he asked Mary to get someone to drive Tatiana back home and then he rushed towards the door grabbing his coat in the process, leaving the Duchess perplexed and fuming for not getting the attention she thought she deserved.

If someone asked him what happened in between that phone call and the drive towards the hospital he wouldn’t be able to explain it. He didn’t know how he was able to drive, his hands were shaking, his heart was pounding like thunder.

And right now he didn’t care if Y/N’s family kicked him out, he would step back from her life if they wanted to, but he had to see her.

But it was impossible and not because of her family, but because there were a dozen of people inside her bedroom, between doctors and nurses. They needed to take samples for exams, do endless examinations and run tests to be able to determine the damage and consequences.

He spent the entire night pacing the white hallway up and down. Trying to have a word with each hospital staff that left her room, they still didn’t have answers.

His neck protested when he looked up, finding Y/N’s grandma sitting on an uncomfortable chair, the sun was almost up.

“Did you see her?”

The woman gave him a nod. “She squeezed my hand.”

“Why don’t you go and have some rest, I’ll stay here.” Tommy offered.

But she was already shaking her head. “No until I know she’s fine.”

Aching for a smoke, Tommy had no choice but to lean forward. “Do you remember when she fell from the fence and hit her head?”

They both chuckled at the memory.

“Was that when you asked me for a needle and thread to sew something?”

A smile formed on his lips, he was so fucking scared when he saw the blood, that he went pale. And when her grandma squinted her eyes and asked what really happened he told her the truth. In the end the blood came from the scratch on her knee but she rubbed her temple, therefore why she had blood on her head.

“I knew she wouldn’t give up.” Her grandma added patting his arm. “And you shouldn’t either.”

Confused by her statement, Tommy looked at her, but the woman got up and walked towards the reception. Leaving him to deal with the internal turmoil that just started inside him.

All kinds of people walked past him, some visiting, some leaving, a few nuns with a Bible and a basket of sandwiches… he had already paid a nurse to keep him updated before anyone else, and unlike his usual reactions he kept away from making a scandal, decided to keep a low profile for Y/N’s sake.

“She didn’t want to, but had a few sips of soup.” The nurse informed him with a smile.

But when a doctor approached him in the waiting room, his face changed. Was something wrong?

“Her mother refused, but the patient has been asking to see you.”

“She said she wouldn’t let anyone run any other test or check on her, they’re actually arguing about it as we speak, she’s quite stubborn.”

Touching the match inside the pocket of his coat, Tommy rubbed the edge nervously.

Tommy left his comfortable position against the wall he had adopted for the last few minutes and grabbed the doctor’s shoulders.

“How’s she doing? How’s the baby?”

“Her physical exam is well, she recognized everyone and if she’s already arguing with her mother, it’d take it as a good sign.” The doctor explained. “But we still have to wait for the blood sample and other studies.”

Feeling some relief, Tommy sighed loudly, leaning his head against the wall. A few minutes passed before he could put a step inside her room.

Hesitating first, Tommy took his time before opening the door. He wasn’t ready for the way her sight hit him.

The moment he had been waiting patiently finally was happening; Y/N was sitting on her hospital bed, a bandage crossing her from shoulder to shoulder, she looked pale and fragile and the attempt of smile seemed to demand a lot of effort from her, but she was alive… and she was awake.

“Thought you’d show up with quite a gang and start blinding everybody.”

She managed to say, it was a bit strange to speak for now, her throat felt dry.

Her statement made him swallow the lump in his throat to laugh, but he also felt like crying so everything got stuck and he couldn’t answer right away.

“I was about to if you didn’t wake up.” He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry.”

He took a step closer, his fingers touched the feet of her bed, she had a sheet on top to cover for modesty.

“Can I give you a hug?” He asked out of the blue.

It was so unlike him, but he felt if he didn’t touch her, he wouldn’t believe this was really happening. Before she could even nod, he welcomed her into his embrace. Carefully to not hurt her.

“I’m so fucking happy to see you.” He whispered, not fully believing it was happening.

“Hey, did you really think I’d give up so easily?” Y/N ran her hands all over his back. “I learned from the best.”

“Fucking finally.” Tommy couldn’t suppress the chuckle she provoked. “I’m so sorry.” Tommy cracked but Y/N shook her head.

“It wasn’t your fault, stop it.”

In response, Tommy could only hold her hand gently and kiss her knuckles.

“Tommy please, stop.” She pleaded nervously, breaking away the contact between them.

Now that she was awake how could he carry on hiding his feelings for her?

“I hope we’re able to continue the pending examinations and tests?” The doctor stood by the door, holding her record, but before they could tell him to walk in, Y/N let out a pained sigh, bending over her bump.

Tommy reacted immediately passing one of his arms over her shoulders, but feeling useless not knowing what to do.

“Take it easy Miss, deep breaths.”

Tommy gave him a shocked and offended look. “What do you mean deep breaths? Give her something!”

“Unfortunately due to her pregnancy she can’t take most of the medication, since we can’t take the bullet out yet…”

Tommy was fuming, how come they couldn’t do anything? Something?

“When will I be able to be discharged?” Y/N asked tentatively, leaning to her right felt much better.

“If your tests come out clean, you can go.”

That was a relief, partly because to Tommy it was another thing to worry about, Y/N needed protection and someone to be with her 24/7.

“That’s wonderful news.” Y/N’s mother stated from the door, ignoring Tommy she walked to be by her daughter side.

Things between them were still like a bumpy road, her parents basically ignored him and he decided to do the same for Y/N’s sake.

“I don’t want you to feel overwhelmed, there’s a lot of things to catch up on, but the most important thing right now is yours and the baby well-being.” He explained to Y/N.

“I can’t wait to have you back at home an-“ Y/N’s mother started to say, but her daughter’s look was charged with concern and confusion.

“Mother I’m not going back to the house…” She stated through gritted teeth.

“Don’t be ridiculous, where else could you possibly go?”

“My house.” Tommy answered bluntly, not giving it a second thought.

The doctor confirmed right there it was a tricky situation but his job was to cure people, not being in the middle of a family drama.

“I’d highly suggest for now to focus on the patient, you can figure out whatever you need to later on. She’ll need space because the following months will be hard until the birth, then we can take the bullet out.”

His firm statement laid above Tommy, Y/N and her mother like they were holding a fragile veil. Everyone trying to keep their side up while checking the others to prevent it from touching the floor.

“Now if you excuse me, I’ve to run some tests.”

Tommy caught the cue immediately, but Y/N’s mother didn’t move. “If you excuse me Mrs?”

She scoffed and gave the doctor an offended look before leaving the room.

“Sorry about that.”

“For what? I didn’t see anything.” He gave her a reassuring smile, helping Y/N relax for a moment at least.

Y/N heard a voice in the distance, but her eyes felt heavy. The pain expanded through her body like a wave back and forth. It was hard to find a comfortable position to sleep in but she didn’t want to complain, she was alive because of some miracle.

She just wanted to be alright for her baby, she couldn’t wait to hold the little bundle in her arms.

Slowly she opened her eyes and waited until they adjusted to the light of the room.

“Where you dreaming?” Her sister Lee Anne asked, her eyes full of curiosity.

“Yeah, I was rocking the baby to sleep.” Y/N replied, the image was so vivid. “Where’s everyone?”

“Grandma went to the house to have some rest, Mum is running some errands…” Lee Anne then looked to the door.

“What is it?”

Y/N knew her sister so well, there was something she wasn’t telling her.

“Mum had a disagreement with Tommy and asked him to stay away from you, then you woke up and I heard Mom and Dad arguing again about what will happen when you get discharged.”

Y/N tilted her head up, to the ceiling not wanting to get into that just yet. She could tell her Mum wanted her home again by the comments she had been making all day. Small hints here and there, making decisions about her life, about her child.

“But I don’t want you to worry.” Lee Anne quickly tried to explain.

“Let me guess, Dad is still against it.”

Her sister felt a rush of guilt take over, but she wanted Y/N to know what was happening.

“I’m just done, you know?” Y/N expressed tiredly.

And suddenly Y/N broke into tears, she was a crying mess. Feeling all over the place she couldn’t even name her feelings. The sudden memory of getting shot assaulted her, blood and shouting surrounded her, and when she saw Tommy’s face full of panic, the fear in his eyes was all she could see every time she closed her eyes.

The realization of what might have happened, if the bullet had hit her stomach or her heart…

“It’s alright.” Her sister tried to comfort her, but it wasn’t working.

She had been trying to be strong. But she was scared.

“What if they try to come again and finish what they started?” Y/N asked, her voice full of worry.

“I won’t let that happen.” Tommy’s voice filled the room, neither of them noticed he was standing close enough to hear Y/N’s words, so he took them by surprise.

“Tommy…” Y/N said his breathlessly, knowing him the way she did, she knew he felt guilty, she could see it in his eyes.

“Even if I’ve to stand outside your door all day and night, I promise you nothing bad will ever reach you again.”

Y/N nodded, trying to not break in front of him, her sister sneaked out quietly choosing to wait for her Mother in the waiting room.

“I’ve taken care of that already, they better no try to hurt y-”

Y/N froze as she processed his word. “Wait, what do you mean? What happened ?”

Tommy looked away, he desperately wanted to change the subject. “Nothing.”

Placing her hand on his arm, she made him look down at her. “Tommy, tell me what did you do.”

Suddenly his tie felt so tight.

How could he tell her he killed someone? He was trying to make his businesses legal, he wanted to make her feel proud of him.

Towering over her, Tommy cupped her cheek gently, giving her a look of adoration. “You’ve nothing to worry about, hmm?”

Staring into his eyes, she realized he wasn’t telling her something, but at the same time she could see the worry in his eyes… and something else she couldn’t name, but yet she felt familiar with.

“Listen, Y/N there’s something I need to tell you.”

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[bunni-v1]

Hello! Can I request full nsfw alphabet with jade? Afab and fem reader too please. Thank you!

🍓Jade is done as well (YAYYY!!!!) You're one of like six people to ask for him, but you were the first so I chose you. You're welcome. Anyway this isn't edited, and I feel like this doesn't need to be said, but Jade is like nineteen here in accordance to my rules. Anyway have a good day love you all <3

Jade NSFW Alphabet!

A = Aftercare: Jade is, and there is no easy way to put this, very fucking strange. I’m not sure if it’s because he’s not from land (this hardly seems like an excuse, because Azul is fantastic with aftercare), but he is very weird about aftercare. Not in the fact that he doesn’t do it, nor that he doesn’t want to do it, he’s just… ritualistic about it. He has a routine set for it: First, he ensures any marks will be very visible on you – if they are not he will fix that. Don’t worry. Second, after you are nice and claimed, he will take you to his bathroom and make sure the two of you are nice and clean. He insists that you use his shampoo and body wash, and if you don’t he pouts in that creepy way he does until you give in. Finally, he grabs you a set of matching pajamas he bought specifically for when you stay over at his, and you two cuddle and talk before falling asleep. You have to talk though, he won’t have it if you don’t converse a little. It has to be just like that, or else he gets irritated and he will give you the silent treatment. He’s petty.

B = Body Part: Starting with himself, I imagine Jade finds his hands to be his best asset. His fingers are long and slim, and he takes very good care of them. Nails are trimmed short and usually painted a pretty teal, but all around, they are rather pretty. They are a little calloused on the tips from his hikes, but it’s hardly noticeable unless they're scraping over your sides. With you, though, Jade has a very hard time choosing. There’s just so much to like! It’s your ass, Jade likes your ass. It’s just a lovely little thing to him, soft and round and perfect for grabbing, especially around others. Copping a feel in front of Azul and hearing that little squeak is such a satisfying sensation.

C = Cum: I have a feeling a lot of my Jade takes may be controversial, and this may be one of them. I think a lot of people imagine he’s a clean freak, which he is, but like… he’s not a germaphobe or anything. He lives with Floyd. With that being said, uhm, Jade likes it messy <3 Like dripping down the legs, staining the sheets, drawing on your skin kinda messy. His cum is also really unique, because of his origins. It’s tinted like a blueish color, and it’s very thick. He doesn’t make you swallow it usually because it’s hard to get down and there’s a lot, always a lot. It’s also salty because he has a high salt content in his blood. (Yes. It glows.)

D = Dirty Secret: You’re not gonna like this one, I can tell you that now. Jade is an exhibitionist and does not care where he has sex, he just wants to have it when he wants it. (He’s spoiled rotten). He’d never fuck you in the busy rush hour at the monstro lounge, of course. The average customer shouldn’t even think about seeing you in such a vulnerable state. However, he wouldn’t mind if Floyd or Azul or some random person happened to stumble upon you in a storage closet. He doesn’t want them to join, because he’d 100% cut their hands off if they touched you, he just wants to… assert to them his relationship with you. Yeah, that’s all.

E = Experience: He doesn’t strike me as very experienced, or like the type to even seek out sex outside of a dedicated relationship. So you are most likely his first sexual and romantic partner, not that you can tell. He’s very attentive and exceptionally good at his job of pleasuring you. Even if he is bad, he’s a very quick learner, so he picks things up easily and fast for you.

F = Favorite Position: Jade likes control, so any position where he has full control over you and your body is heaven to him. He also likes to look at you, just to study your face and make you squirm under his gaze. So something like the valedictorian, where your legs are pinned out in a V, or pretty much anything where your legs are over his shoulder so you can’t squirm as much. Big fan of the prone bone for the same reasons, though he doesn’t like not seeing you.

G = Goofy: Jade isn’t… goofy, per se… but he doesn’t take sex super seriously. He finds sex to be amusing, especially human sex. Mer sex is different, less physical or intimate, so it's all new and exciting to him. He will absolutely chuckle and joke, but it’s always to tease you and make you all flustered. So yes? Kinda? Not really though.

H = Hair: We know Jade is well-groomed. He keeps it nice and short and shaved, just a little tuft of teal, mostly for asthetics. 

I = Intimacy: He’s not typically all that romantic during. Like I said before, sex is mostly a fun, interesting thing for him. Sure he likes you close and loves to watch your reactions but that's less of a romantic thing and more of a he’s a predator and you’re his prey thing. Still, he has his moments. Like when he’s about to cum he’ll press his forehead to yours (or to your back) and whisper out that he loves you so very much and that you’re so amazing for him.

J = Jack Off: Like… never. 1) He doesn’t have much of a sex drive to start. 2) He’s only ever turned on by something you do, maybe just the thought of you. 3) If he’s ever in a situation where he is turned on and you’re not around or you’re busy… well you won’t be separated for long! He just doesn’t like the act, unlike his brother, and especially doesn’t like wasting his ahem seed when it would do much better inside of you.

K = Kink: Okay so I’ve already established he’s a bit of an exhibitionist, but he’s also a voyeur. Like, please get yourself off while he watches you struggle and whine for him, it’s one of his favorite hobbies. He’s a sadist (obviously) and loves to see you squirm and uncomfortable (to the extent that you’re comfortable with, of course). He is also big into marking, no shit, he’s so possessive it would be insane if he wasn’t into marking you up. I’m gonna be honest, and again people may hate me for this, but he’s probably into Consensual Non-Consent so long as the two of you set up firm boundaries and safe words beforehand. (He’s a sadist, but he’d never fucking hurt his partner. His mama taught him better than that.)

L = Location: His favorite place is obviously his bedroom. Seeing you on his sheets is just a sight that cannot be beat. But other than that… anywhere with a little risk. Storage closets, the bathrooms, hell he’s even fucked you on Azul’s office couch. Pretty much down with any place so long as he can keep you nice and hidden if you do get caught. (Lord help the guy who gets a peek at you naked).

N = No: There’s not really anything Jade hasn’t thought of trying. One thing he ruled out very quickly, though, was sharing. He’s not a fan of sharing things, especially not things as cute and precious to him as you. So if you ever suggest it, he’ll probably kill the person you were considering bringing in.

O = Oral: He is big on receiving, sorry gang, he’s not big on giving. The sight of your lips wrapped around him, drool and cum dripping down your chin, it’s like a dream to our little freak. When he does give though, he’s pretty damn good. I mean, all it takes is one or two times and he’s got you down like a book. Be careful, though, he’s known to nip if you squirm too much.

P = Pace: Jade is pretty slow all things considered. While sex is fun for him, he loves making things slow and incredibly excruciating for you. Do you want to cum? Too bad, Jade’s adamant about slowly pulling out inch by inch just to slowly slide in the same. Sometimes, though, he’ll randomly swap to a bruising pace just to see how you react.

Q = Quickie: If it isn’t obvious by now, yes he’s into quickies. They’re not his favorite, okay, he likes to take his time… but if he wants sex he’s gonna get it, even if it has to be fast. Besides, the thrill of nearly being caught is enough to make the experience all worth it for him.

R = Risk: Duh. Yes, Jade loves risk-taking, and he’s willing to do anything (except share) once to see how you both like it. All you have to do is ask, talk it over, and then you’ll try and implement it. 

S = Stamina: Jade can go for a really long time, but once he cums he’s pretty much out of commission. He’s so good at self-control, but keeping himself from cumming takes a lot out of him, so once he does he can’t go again. Usually, the two of you have one really long round, then it’s all tending to each other and sweet words until you knock out.

T = Toys: He does! I don’t think he’s the biggest fan of them, but if he really wants to stretch things out he’s 100% bringing out his toys. They’re all designed to aid in pleasure, but not allow you to cum, and they’re all remote-controlled. He likes to stuff you with one and send you on your way so he can mess with you throughout the day.

U = Unfair: I don’t need to answer this. (See all of the above lol)

V = Volume: Jade is quiet, he doesn’t make much noise if any at all. He’d rather hear your voice, so he keeps himself to a minimum. You’ll hear a few sighs and purrs of pleasure, but that’s all you’ll get other than his comments about how cute you are under him.

W = Wild Card: He likes being marked up too, but he won’t tell anyone that. He doesn’t want anyone else to see the marks, because to him they’re his own little trophies of being a good partner, but he loves them.

X = X-Ray: Jade is average, about 5.8 inches flaccid and 6 inches hard. It’s really pretty though, pale like him and his tip is flushed a baby pink that could make you jealous. He’s thinner than most, and it doesn’t have many veins. 

Y = Yearning: His sex drive is actually rather low, there isn’t much that turns him on outside of you, and it’s rare that he gets turned on in the first place. Usually when you’re being particularly argumentative or cute, he starts feeling a little hot and bothered. Z = Zzz: He’s usually tired afterward, but like I said he needs his little chat. So he doesn’t fall asleep fast at all, usually able to keep himself up to take care of you and himself.

[anonymousewrites]

Apple of My Eye Chapter Four

Eventual! Harry Hook x Child of Snow White! Reader

Platonic! Descendants x Reader

Chapter Four: Out There

Summary: Family Day goes extraordinarily wrong.

            “I’m guessing you got Mal ready for her date with Ben?” said (Y/N) as they sprawled across Evie’s bed.

            “I picked out her outfit, did her makeup, reminded her that him being nice isn’t disrespectful like on the Isle, and tried to remind her to have a good time,” said Evie.

            “A whole bootcamp,” chuckled (Y/N). “I did the same for Ben. Sure, he and Audrey were…something, but it was mostly Audrey dragging him around at organized events. This was the first time he actually asked someone out. He’s nervous.” They looked at Evie as she sewed. “What about Mal?”

            “Mal doesn’t get nervous. But this isn’t something she’s used to. It’s not like her mom told her how to date,” said Evie. “My mom was the only one really interested in having her child learn about that. The others…it wasn’t encouraged.”

            “Is that why you’re trying to find a prince?” asked (Y/N).

            “I’m the daughter of a queen. My mom has high standards for me and whoever I date,” said Evie.

            “You should be able to fall in love with whoever you want,” said (Y/N).

            Evie smiled slightly. “It would be nice to fall in love and just…be.”

            (Y/N) grinned. “It sounds like you’re thinking of someone?”

            Evie’s eyes widened, she blushed, and she chuckled nervously. “I’m not.”

            “Uh-huh, sure,” said (Y/N). “He likes you, too.” They didn’t have to say Doug’s name for Evie to know. “He was going on and on about how well you’re doing in chemistry today at lunch.”

            “He told you about that?” said Evie, smiling.

            “He’s always talking about you,” said (Y/N). “Always, ‘did you see Evie’s outfit today? She looks amazing. And she’s so smart, and she explained how she made her jewelry, and she’s so creative.’ ”

            “He thinks all that about me,” said Evie softly.

            “He thinks the world of you,” said (Y/N). “You shouldn’t hold yourself back from that if you like him.”

            Evie smiled, and then her smile fell. Soon…soon this would all be over. The villains would be freed and overrun Auradon. It wouldn’t matter what her feelings towards Doug or anyone else at Auradon were.

            “I’ll think about it,” said Evie. She cleared her throat and smiled at (Y/N). “And you’re still certain no one here interests you? I think I’ve seen a few different people looking at you. Merida’s daughter is pretty dashing, and Esmeralda’s child is very good-looking.” Evie grinned. “And I saw you watching them dance. You like someone with some sway.” Evie got up and pretended to dance with a wink.

            (Y/N) laughed and sat up. “I find them attractive, sure. Who wouldn’t love those green eyes and hips? But I don’t feel…”

            “The spark of True Love?” said Evie.

            “That,” agreed (Y/N).

            “Do you get worried you won’t find it?” said Evie.

            “Sometimes,” admitted (Y/N). “But it would be a disservice to myself to settle for less than what I want.” And (Y/N) wasn’t just saying that about themself.

            Evie smiled. “I hope you find who you’re looking for.”

            “I hope you do, too,” said (Y/N). “And until then, we’ve got good friends, right?”

            “Right.” Evie grinned.

            “Oh, by the way,” said (Y/N), leaning in. “Speaking of good friends, would you do me a favor as one?”

            “What is it?” said Evie.

            “Would you design an outfit for me? For the coronation?” said (Y/N). They smiled. “I love your designs, so it would be really cool if you would make me one. Even just a sketch.”

            They could have sworn Evie’s eyes lit up. “I have been waiting for this moment.”

            “Is that a yes?” said (Y/N).

            Evie grabbed (Y/N) and pulled them to their feet. She already had a measuring tape in her hands. “I have free reign?”

            “I’m scared and excited by this intensity,” said (Y/N).

            Evie gave them a positively evil grin. Royalty to dress up? Her friend to dress up? She was going to have a field day.

            “(Y/N), your mother might be the fairest of them all, but we’re about to give these royals their first taste of real style,” said Evie.

            (Y/N) grinned.

l

            “As you know, this Sunday is Family Day at Auradon Prep,” said Fairy Godmother, smiling at her Remedial Goodness 101 class. “And because your parents can’t be here due to…distance—” she laughed awkwardly “—we’ve arranged for a special treat.” She turned on a computer, and the screen displayed four familiar, infamous villains.

            Their kids straightened and paled. This would be a…very special treat.

l

            “Do you think Family Day is going to go well?” said Ben.

            “We do the same things every year other than changing the song-and-dance routine,” said (Y/N). They smiled. “So, yes. You shouldn’t be worrying about this of all things.”

            Ben cleared his throat. “But things are…different this year. I’m with Mal, now, and I want her to meet my parents.”

            “That’s a big step,” said (Y/N). They smiled. “You really like her.”

            Ben’s smile softened shyly. “I do.”

            “I’m happy for you,” said (Y/N).

            “Do you think my parents will like her?” said Ben. “I know they were hesitant about the program, but Mal and her friends are really great.”

            “Your parents learned to see past prejudice, so they should come around,” said (Y/N). They paused. “Eventually.”

            Ben sighed. “I just want this to go well.”

            “I’ll be there to help,” promised (Y/N). “My mom and dad know I’m part of the organizing committee, so if you need to call me away for some help, it’s fine.”

            “Thanks, (Y/N),” said Ben.

            “Anytime, my prince,” teased (Y/N).

            Ben groaned at the title, and (Y/N) laughed.

l

            One disastrous videocall later, all thoughts of happiness over being at Auradon had flitted from the VKs’ minds. They knew what they had to do the day of the coronation. They knew what would happen to them if they didn’t pull it off. They knew the consequences for everyone if they did.

            “Okay, we all know what it looks like,” said Mal. “So, we’ll be up on the dais under Beast’s spell jar, and we’re coming in from here. I will be in the very front. You all will be up on the balcony.”

            “Okay,” said Evie.

            “Carlos?” said Mal.

            “Okay, so I’ll find our limo, so we can break the barrier and get back on the Isle with the wand,” said Carlos.

            “Perfect,” said Mal. “Evie?”

            “Yeah?” said Evie.

            “You will use this to take out the driver.” Mal held up a perfume bottle. “Two sprays, and he’ll be out like a light.”

            “Okay.” Evie nodded solemnly.

            Carlos and Jay nodded. Mal looked at each of them and nodded. The plan was set. They just needed to follow it through. However, Mal found herself slouching down in her seat as she gazed at the potion she wanted to make.

            Evie’s eyes widened as she saw the page. “M?” She furrowed her brow. “You want to break Ben’s love spell?”

            “Yeah.” Mal cleared her throat and tried to defend herself without letting her true feelings shine through. “You know, for after. I don’t…” Evie sat down next to her, and Mal swallowed. “I’ve just been thinking, you know, when the villains finally do invade Auradon and begin to loot and kick everyone out of their castles and imprison their leaders and destroy all that is good and beautiful…” Mal pursed her lips. “Ben still being in love with me just seems a little extra…cruel.”

            Evie’s gaze softened. Mal cared, truly, about Ben. Evie understood. They had all made friends and bonds here at Auradon, and those would all be burned away when their parents came and took over Auradon.

            “I’ve been thinking about that, too,” said Evie. “My mother…she’s going to kill Snow White this time. She’s going to make sure of it. She’ll have her revenge and be the fairest in the land again.” Evie paused. “And I don’t know what she’ll do to (Y/N) just for being Snow White’s child.” She looked at Mal. “They’re…kind. I don’t want them to—” She looked down. Her friend was going to be hurt because they were kind like their mother.

            “I know,” said Mal. “I know, E.”

l

            (Y/N) stood behind Ben in blue slacks and a white blouse with yellow bows as Family Day began. He stepped into the small group of students performing and put on a charming smile.

(Ben) “Ma chere Mademoiselle, It is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure, That we welcome you tonight, And now we invite you to relax, Let us pull up a chair, As the dining room proudly presents, Your dinner.”

            He bowed, and the group began to dance.

(All) “Be our guest, be our guest, Put our service to the test, Tie your napkin ‘round your neck, Cherie, And we’ll provide the rest.” (Ben) “That’s right.” (All) “Soup du jour, Hot hors d’oeuvres, Why we only live to serve, Try the gray stuff, it’s delicious.” (Ben) “Don’t believe me? Ask the dishes.”

            He grinned, and (Y/N) and a few men moved up to dance with him.

(All) “They can sing, sing, sing, They can dance, dance, dance, After all, miss, this is France, And the dinner here is never, never second best! Come on, go on, unfold your menu, Go on, take a glance, and then you’ll Be our guest, be our guest, be our guest. Yeah, be our guest.”

            Everyone came together and weaved in and out of lines.

(Ben) “We tell jokes, I do tricks, With my fellow candlesticks.” (All) “And it’s all in perfect taste, That you can bet. Come on and lift your glass, You’ve won your own free pass, To be our guest.” ((Y/N)) “If you’re stressed, It’s fine dining we suggest.” (All) “Be our guest, be our guest, be our guest. Yeah, yeah! Come on, be our guest, be our guest, Come on, come on, Be our guest!”

            They finished with a flourish and a bow. They were met with cheers and claps, and so the group bowed again.

            (Y/N) spotted their friends, smiled, and walked over. “You made it.”

            “Wouldn’t have missed that,” said Mal. “It’s cheesier than the snacks.”

            (Y/N) laughed sheepishly. “You should’ve seen a few years ago. It was a rendition of ‘Heigh-Ho.’ That was a trainwreck.” They glanced at their phone. “My parents are arriving soon, so I’m going to say ‘hi’ to them, but if you need me, just come and find me. My parents and I won’t mind.” They waved. “Bye.”

l

            “(Y/N).” Snow hugged their child tightly, and Florian joined the hug a moment after her. “Oh, it’s been too long.”

            (Y/N) laughed. “I saw you just two weeks ago,” they said.

            “Still too long,” said Florian, smiling. “Tell us about everything.”

            “We’ve heard about Prince Ben’s new program. Is it going well?” said Snow.

            “I think it is,” said (Y/N), smiling. “Ben’s fighting to do what’s right, and I think it’s going to pay off.”

            “That’s wonderful,” said Florian. “Who are the four students? You haven’t told us anything.”

            “We have Jay, son of Jafar. He’s really strong and a great leader at sports. Then there’s Carlos, son of Cruella. He’s a real sweetheart with a big heart,” said (Y/N).

            “I like the sound of them,” said Snow.

            “And then there’s Mal, daughter of Maleficent,” said (Y/N). “A little rougher around the edges, but she’s really funny and cares about her friends. I admire her strength.” They paused and glanced between their parents. “And last we have Evie, the best fashion designer I’ve met and a girl with the strongest, sweetest heart. She’s basically my best friend. She’s the daughter of…the Evil Queen.”

            Florian stiffened slightly, and Snow paused. (Y/N) bit their lip.

            “Mom?” they said.

            “It’s…unexpected,” said Snow. “I can’t say it doesn’t make me nervous to know that someone raised by my stepmother in a place with very few good influences is near you.” She smiled. “But if you believe they have good hearts, then I’ll believe it.”

            (Y/N) relaxed. “They really are great people. I think it’s taking time for some people to see it, but—”

            “You!” A frightened, furious voice pierced the air.

            All heads turned to the croquet field. Queen Leah, mother of Aurora—Sleeping Beauty—stood staring at Mal, who took a step back at her cry.

            “How are you here?” demanded Leah. “And how have you stayed so young?”

            (Y/N) moved to the field before their parents could even say a word, and everyone watched as they stepped between Leah and Mal.

            “Queen Leah, it’s alright,” said (Y/N). “This isn’t Maleficent. She’s still on the Isle.”

            Ben stepped up beside them and smiled. “This is her daughter, Mal. Don’t you remember my proclamation to give the new generation a chance?”

            “A chance to what, Ben?” said Leah sharply. “Destroy us?” She looked around at everyone. “Come on, you remember, don’t you?” She looked at Snow and Florian and then at (Y/N). “The poison apples?”

            Evie’s eyes went to the ground, and (Y/N) tried to catch her gaze and shake their head, to remind Evie it was alright, but Leah was still speaking, still hurting, still turning people’s heads away from the kids who deserved a chance.

            “And the spells,” said Leah. “Spells. My daughter was raised by fairies because of your mother’s curse.” Mal flinched. “So her first words, her first steps, I missed it all. You mustn’t trust her.”

            “Queen Leah, your daughter was cruelly punished for a simple mistake,” said (Y/N) softly. “But it would be unfair to Mal to punish her for what her mother did. We can’t change if we continue the same cycle of hurting people.”

            The VKs’ lips parted at (Y/N)’s words, and their eyes went to the ground. All this hurt, and they were going to—

            “I’m sorry,” said Mal, stepping forward.

            Chad moved in and pushed Mal back. (Y/N) instantly took a step forward, and Chad stepped back slightly.

            Still, he glared at Mal. “Stay away from them.”

            “Don’t do this, Chad,” said (Y/N).

            “What?” Chad scoffed incredulously. “They were raised by their parents, (Y/N). What do you think villains teach their kids, huh? Kindness? Fair-play? No way, okay? Nuh-uh.” He looked at Mal. “You stole another girl’s boyfriend.” Ben almost lunged, but Chad just held up his hands. “Hey, hey!” He looked at Jay. “You enjoy hurting people.” He looked at Evie. “And you’re nothing but a gold digger and a cheater.”

            “Chad!” said (Y/N), raising their voice. “You do not speak to my friends that way.”

            “Friends? You think they’re your friends?” Chad stepped forward. “You’re just the idiot idealist who is playing pretend that villains could ever become good. Wake up. You’re going to be the first in line to get hurt, playing ‘besties’ with the Evil Queen’s daughter. Let’s just hope you don’t take a bit of any food she gives you.”

            (Y/N)’s eyes widened at the accusation, and Evie’s hands quivered. She pulled her mirror from her bag.

            “Mirror, mirror, in my hand, who’s the biggest jerk in the land?” She sneered and held it up to display Chad’s face.

            He scoffed and batted her hand away. “Come on.”

            “Hey!” Jay grabbed Chad for putting his hands on Evie. “Back off, Chad!”

            “Alright, hey!” Doug nervously tried to intervene.

            “Just back off!” said Jay.

            Evie dug a perfume bottle out of her bag and pushed into Chad’s face. She pulled the pump twice, and a mist fell into Chad’s face. Instantly, he collapsed.

            “Chad? Chad?!” Audrey gasped as Doug caught him.

            Horrified gasps and cries went up in the crowd at the sight.

            “Evie did something to Chad!” cried Lonnie.

            “Come on, Mal,” said Evie, grabbing Mal’s hand as everyone stared at them like they were a freakshow.

            “Chad, wake up!” cried Audrey.

            The VKs ran from the party. Ben and (Y/N) were left to stare helplessly at one another. Ben’s gaze went to his parents and then to the floor upon seeing their disappointment. (Y/N) turned and ran after their friends.

l

            “Guys,” said (Y/N), catching up to them. “Are you…” They trailed off. Of course they weren’t alright. “Can I help at all?”

            “We don’t need your pity,” said Mal.

            “Mal, I’m not trying to pity you, I want to help,” said (Y/N). “What Chad said was unfair, and your reactions were provoked. That wasn’t your fault.”

            The other VKs just looked away from them.

            “Yeah, well, it felt pretty good anyways,” said Mal coldly. “Just leave us alone, royal. It’ll be better for all of us.”

            (Y/N)’s heart ached, and they looked at the others. Jay crossed his arms. Carlos looked down. Their gaze landed on Evie. “Evie?”

            “Just go,” said Evie softly.

            “…Alright.” (Y/N) stepped back and turned away. “I’m sorry.”

Taglist:

@neenieweenie

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@american-idiot-jpg

@lunalixya

@roo024

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@lbee13

@rory-cakes

@theeghosted

[leifyposting]

Klee’s fortnightly sleepover at the Gunnhildr mansion, originally some scheme cooked up by Lisa to force Jean to bed on time at least once every two weeks, has devolved somewhat into an opportunity for all the people who love Klee to gather for dinner at Jean’s place and swap stories and gossip far too late into the night.

But now Klee is in bed and the dining room is quiet, and Albedo, who is the last one out, having had the honour of putting Klee to bed tonight, is stepping out into the crisp fall air.

He turns around and looks up at the figure of the Acting Grand Master silhouetted in the doorframe. She seems softer, like this, with the strong lines of her body blurred by the golden light of her foyer lamp.

“Thank you for coming, Albedo,” she says. “I had a lovely evening. I know Klee did too.”

“It was my pleasure,” he says, the polite human response coming instantly to his tongue. 

It is almost too easy, these days, blending in among the humans. He is a far cry from the awkward, socially inept homunculus he was only a few years ago, the one whose mannerisms marked him out as other even if not necessarily as inhuman. The vendors in the marketplace smile at him now when he passes — and, which is more, he finds himself smiling back.

And he forgets, day by day, little by little, who he really is. And he forgets that he does not belong here.

Which is perhaps why he says: “Master Jean, can I ask you a question?”

She shifts, her head tilting. “Of course.”

“How far would you go to protect Mondstadt?”

She blinks down at him, apparently thrown. “How do you mean?”

“I mean,” he clarifies, “if for some reason Mondstadt was in danger because of me. Or, to make it more tangible, if I had put Klee in danger somehow. Would you kill me?”

She makes a tiny, horrified noise. “Why are we talking about this hypothetical?”

“I’m a man of science,” he says, letting his voice tip halfway to joking. “Humour me.”

He watches the protests hover on her tongue before she swallows them down. “Walk me through the scenario again.”

“It’s quite simple,” he says. “The context doesn’t matter. All you need to know is that I have put Klee and the rest of Mondstadt in danger somehow, and the only way to save her is to kill me. Would you?”

Jean swallows, but he can see her answer in the set of her jaw even before she opens her mouth. “Yes,” she says. “I would.”

Albedo nods. This is the answer he was looking for. He is the anomaly, the transgression, the liability; she must be willing to kill him to save the people they both love. He shouldn’t feel as betrayed as he does.

“Still,” Jean says, before he can thank her and turn to leave, “there must be other options.”

“Pardon?”

“Either I kill you or I let Klee die. Why are those my only two choices?”

“I…” He trails off. “Just because.”

She shakes her head. “From a man of science, that’s not very scientific.”

He laughs a little incredulously. “I suppose I never saw any other way forward.”

“Well, the forced dilemma is part of the fun,” Jean allows graciously. “But real life is messier than that.”

“I think, in this hypothetical, there would be no other options.”

She makes a low, noncommittal noise. “I’m not saying you’re wrong. I’m just saying that maybe you aren’t seeing the whole picture.”

“How do you mean?” he asks, echoing her earlier words.

“I mean…” She pauses. “Eula is out in the field a lot, so she sees much more of the day-to-day workings of the Knights than I do. But as the Acting Grand Master, I have a bird’s-eye view of the organization as a whole. As a result, when faced with a quandary, she often offers solutions I would never have come up with on my own, and vice versa.” She makes a small motion with her hand, like she’s going to touch his shoulder, then drops it again. “That’s why we have people around us. So they can catch things we miss.”

“I see,” Albedo says. 

Jean’s blue-grey eyes, shadowed in the dim light, search his face. He fights the urge to look away from that piercing gaze. 

“I would hope,” she says finally, her voice low, “that if you believed you were a danger to yourself or others, you would come to me. I’m not saying I can always help. But the Knights look after our own, Captain.”

“I see,” Albedo says again. His chest is tight. “Thank you, Master Jean.”

She scrutinizes him for a moment more, then smiles a small smile. “I hope my answer was satisfactory?”

“Very much so.”

She looks relieved. “Oh, good. I was worried I wasn’t making much sense there.” 

“You made perfect sense,” he reassures her, strangely endeared by her earnestness. “But now it’s late, and you should get to bed. I’ll take my leave.”

“Very well. Have a good night, Albedo,” she says.

He turns away, and watches the sliver of golden light from the foyer fade into shadow as the door shuts. The chill autumn air threads around his ankles as he sets his feet towards home.

If he ever loses control, she will not be able to save him. He knows that already. 

Still, it is nice to know that she would try.

[canineadversary]

my thoughts on zoochosis and how it applies to me personally

tw: self harm, trichotillomania, ed behaviors, vomiting, psych ward

tldr: i go crazy when im trapped

late night post because i’m laying in bed trying to sleep thinking about this lolol, but i see a lot of therians talk about how they experience zoochosis and i wanted to put in my experiences into the mix

i like this label personally for myself because it helps me understand my behaviors better, even if i have other explanations for them. usually i fall into a set of behaviors when im under extreme stress or i feel trapped, which lines up with zoochosis in animals. here’s a list of the common behaviors in zoochosis and i’m going to explain how they relate to me

Pacing

Bar biting

Bobbing, weaving and swaying

Rocking

Self-mutilation

Over-grooming

Regurgitating and reingesting food

(from idausa.org)

i do. all of these things. pacing, biting, bobbing, weaving, swaying, and rocking are all behaviors i experience when i feel stuck in a situation. mostly to self soothe or to get my stress-aggression out. same with self-mutilation. i usually turn my distress onto myself with self harming behaviors, and over-grooming is a good way to describe the way i rake my hands through my hair over and over again and pull out chunks. regurgitating and reingesting food is not something i do, but i tend to not eat when im in this mindset and i throw up anything i try to, and i feel like thats similar enough for me to apply it here as well.

my main examples that i can think of is from my time in the psych ward earlier this year. the entire time all i did was pace and pull out my hair and beg to leave. i felt anxious and aggressive, as someone who usually doesn’t get aggressive. i felt like i was going more insane in there than i was outside.

i also can apply this to my daily life, albeit in less extreme ways. constantly pacing, biting anything to soothe myself, and refraining from food when i get stressed. it’s the worst at work, where all i can do is walk around the store and do repetitive tasks

my entire life feels like one repetitive circle, where all i can do is go to work and go home and lay in my bed and sleep and get up and do it all over again. i wasn’t meant to live like this. i feel like a spectacle for humans to watch as i try and live their life

i feel like a trapped animal; and that’s exactly what i am. an animal trapped in a life it shouldn’t be living

[wrathofrats]

Seeing Blind (you’re too good to be all mine)

Chapter 5. Mature, 2.4k. Read under cut or on Ao3

(Part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4)

As always thank you to @divine-misfortune for writing this with me <3

Rain whipped around. Confused to see Dew running up to him from the side field, brushing debris off of his overalls. They had never spoken before, at least not directly like this. Small quips and comments when he finds himself at Swiss’ side that sound like they’re meant to be digs directed at him despite the fact Dew barely acknowledged his presence.

“I’m sorry?”

“I think we should have a talk“

It’s Rain’s turn to barely sleep in Swiss’ arms. His head swimming with a tirade of thought. Was he not good enough? Did he do something wrong? Go too fast? Maybe Swiss just didn’t want him in the same way he did?

He could feel how hard he was against his back for a good portion of the night. Rationally, most of that couldn’t possibly be true. Why would Swiss assume he wasn’t ready for it? None of it made sense and it left a strange, conflicted feeling in him. Not quite dejected but certainly confused.

At least he could finally sleep comfortably beside him, in a bed, like real people who like each other do.

When the sun threatens to crest the horizon, Swiss is shifting behind him. Moving carefully. Thoughtfully trying not to jostle Rain awake, no reason for him to have to adhere to the ungodly early schedule Swiss kept. It’s a hopeless effort but it was the thought that counted. Rain stirred as the arm beneath his head began to retreat, making a soft sound he could only describe as a chirp. His eyes fight to open, drooping despite himself, as Swiss slipped from the cozy little cocoon they’d made.

“Shh tadpole…Go back to sleep”

Cute. Rain looked beyond adorable and Swiss suddenly understood the meaning of ‘cuteness aggression’. The messy hair and blush coloring his cheeks the loveliest shade of pink was entirely unfair, but the way he managed to bat those pretty eyelashes was playing dirty.

“Just’a couple more minutes Swiss, ‘lease” Rain mumbled his way right into a yawn, tugging at Swiss’ shirt like he might just drag him back into bed like this.

“I’ve gotta go, I can’t be late. But come see me on my break, ‘kay?”

Swiss smoothed the hair from his forehead, dipping down to kiss the little crease between his brows before Rain’s head dropped back to the pillow with a small whine that he gives up on committing to when the comforters pulled back over him. Hard not to snuggle back in, harder not to bury his face in the other pillow to inhale the comfortable lingering scent like he might just pretend Swiss was still beside him.

Didn’t stop him from pouting though.

Leaving Rain was a real test of his will but dutifully Swiss dragged himself away. It was safer for him to duck out as early as this, less of a chance of being caught by the wrong person. He woefully stuffed his feet back into his muddy boots abandoned by the front door and trudged outside towards his truck.

He prayed it was too early for anyone else to be lurking about, and if it had to be anyone, let it be Mountain.

But God had a sense of humor, apparently.

Dew and cirrus were waiting for him with wolfish grins near the tractor, immediately trying to prod him for answers.

"Well well well, smooth talked your way right into his bed huh?" Dew laughed

"Didn't take him for easy.” Cirrus folds her arms looking over his sorry, disheveled state.

"So how was he? Did he even know what he was doing? Was it embarrassingly bad? That why you're doing the walk of shame before the suns even up?" Dew gasped at the promise of scandal, hanging off of Cirrus’ arm with a smirk like he was pleased with himself.

Swiss couldn’t tell if he wanted them to die or if he'd like a stampede of cattle to take him out then and there. Honestly, didn't know if they even deserved a response. Probably shouldn’t. All their senseless prodding, he shouldn’t dignify it but God Dew was too fucking annoying to ignore at times.

“We didn’t do anything” Swiss pushed past them to make the hike back to his truck so he could at least change. Boss might give him weird looks for showing up in yesterday's wrinkled clothes.

“Oh, sure. Totally. So, tell me, he invites you in and you spend the night doing what exactly? A kiss on the cheek before turning off the lights at nine on the dot so you can sleep on opposite sides of the bed with both hands above the covers?” Dew questions incredulously, with an oddly specific example. “You’re the worst liar I’ve ever fucking met, Swiss!”

Swiss winced at the volume of his voice, nervously eyeing the farmhouse standing silently as he gestured aggressively for him to shut the fuck up. Rain would be mortified if he knew the others were talking about him in this fashion.

“Love that Swiss thinks he can lie his way out of shit like this, as if you of all people don’t know what he looks like after a long night.” Cirrus snickers behind her hand and Dew suddenly looks appalled.

“Oh my fucking god it was one time!”

“It was a couple times actually-“

Like a thief in the night, Swiss uses their endless bickering as an excuse to slip away from their interrogation. He climbed into the backseat of his truck and rummaged under the passenger seat - working a job like this, he learned early on to keep a change of clothes on hand. It was awkward to say the least. He was not a dainty man and the back of his truck was far from spacious but he managed to climb out only having smashed his elbow into the window twice. Seemingly just in time. The crunch of gravel and the sharp squeaks of a poor suspension announced their arrival before the truck branded with an all too familiar logo rounded the bend.

His head snapped around alarmingly fast, met with mischievous grins from the both of them. He bristled. “Not a fucking word or I’m telling him to drug test you two.” Swiss hissed, both warning and threatening. Dew made a face, opening his mouth to retort but Cirrus was faster. Sticking out her tongue in his direction before grabbing him by the arm and leading him away to where they would pretend to work for the next two hours.

As they left him standing beside his truck, Swiss watched Rain’s father get out of the truck with clearly stiffened limbs. His throat felt tight as he looked his way, fearing that just maybe he knew but the man just regarded him with a curt nod and a gruff good morning, then headed inside.

Swiss wanted to close his head in the door of his truck, multiple times.

It was going to be a long fucking day.

Rain slipped out the back door an hour or so after lunch. Wearing exhaustion and semi untamed curls, a brand of disheveled he’d never sported before. He was off the schedule they’d taken to over the last few weeks. Swiss’ lunch break was a little before two, and it was currently well past. Swiss could sigh and huff all he liked about him sleeping in and shirking his fruit picking responsibilities, as well as what he’d woefully described as ‘kiss withdrawls’, but Rain truly couldn’t be faulted for sleeping in. His sheets smelled like warm tobacco and aftershave, a little bit like hay and whatever it was truly encompassed Swiss. It was hard for rain to leave in the morning, silently hoping it would linger until he got back that night.

“Rain! I’ve been looking for you!”

Rain whipped around. Confused to see Dew running up to him from the side field, brushing debris off of his overalls. They had never spoken before, at least not directly like this. Small quips and comments when he finds himself at Swiss’ side that sound like they’re meant to be digs directed at him despite the fact Dew barely acknowledged his presence.

“I’m sorry?”

“I think we should have a talk, can you come here for a minute?” Dew kicked some rocks and pursed his lips at rain who looked more than confused. He looked around for Swiss, to see if this was one of his shenanigans or could at least save him from whatever was happening.

Dew knew their routine. Knew exactly how to intersect Rain’s path before he could go attach himself to Swiss like an overgrown leech. It was almost too easy for him to find and stop him. If Rain had any more confidence in himself he would’ve told Dew to leave him alone, return the same disdain Dew had regarded him with from the start, but he was alarmingly forward. Grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him with surprising ease towards the tractor for a bit more privacy. Less of a chance they’d be interrupted.

Dew, and the other workers by extension were far from fond of him. Swiss was the outlier. Rain knew fighting him on this would cause nothing but trouble.

“Where are you going by the way? Thought you didn’t have to do your small share of work till later.” Whatever over sweetness he’d greeted him with dropped from his tone, borderline sneering at him instead.

“Dad asked me to check on one of the cows, said she looked in bad shape this morning.” Rain readjusted the bag on his shoulder, eyes flitting towards the field with a silent prayer that Swiss might just happen to pop up. Save him from whatever he’d walked into.

“Bullshit,” Dew barely stopped himself from laughing at his lie. “He would’ve mentioned it to us, not you.” Dew crossed his arms, leaning on the tractor. Casually and subtly blocking off Rain’s easy exit back to the yard.

“Ok…Then what do you think I’m doing?” Rain scoffed and rolled his eyes. This was dumb, they both had better things to be doing.

“Considering that brown paper sack in your hands, and the little birdie that talks about you in the barn, I’d say you’re bringing Swiss a snack for his break” it’s the slight flick of his eyes that answers the silent accusation.

“I don’t see how what I do with my time is any of your business” Rain's voice was almost entirely confident, almost. The faintest waver under his incredulous stare. It was hard to hold steady when someone as intense as Dew was interrogating him like he was caught about to do something downright sinister.

“Well I just think it’s funny how much time you spend with him. All of your breaks, sneaking out to go to the bonfire, spending the night?” He practically hissed his last point. “Thought your dad didn’t like you spending too much time with people like us. Weird, huh?”

“I’m not like that, I’m not my father.” Rain felt almost guilty as dew continued to stare at him like he was disgusted. Had he really been that bad? He didn’t think he was that much of a priss before Swiss came around.

“Oh you aren’t? Rain, all you do is sit on your throne and occasionally feed the animals or pick fruit for daddy’s approval. I’ve heard what he’s said, what you’ve said.”

His face, with whatever increasingly anxious expression he’d been sporting, fell instantly. Comments from his father over the years rooted in overworked frustration when profits didn’t balance out costs, when equipment turned up broken, when the work wasn't done to his standards. Blindly throwing blame on his workers. And Rain, a teenager vying for his parent’s approval, stupidly echoed the sentiment more than once and turned his nose up at them and the work they did. Even went out of his way to avoid the lot of them at the behest of his father.

“Dew, I’m sorry…I never-“

“All I’m saying is don’t fuck around and break Swiss’ heart just because you’ve decided to enjoy the attention from the peasants” Dew spat. His tone growing increasingly more frustrated as the months or years of indignation began to finally bubble to the surface.

“That’s not-“ A finger is held up before he can begin to explain himself, effectively shutting him up before he could stammer any further.

“Save it princess, I don’t want to hear it! I’m warning you to stop fucking around with him - Swiss doesn’t deserve to be some passing fancy till you’re able to go back to that prestigious university of yours.”

Rain opened his mouth and quickly closed it when he couldn’t manage any sound. Dread filled his stomach and began clawing its way up his throat. Choking him.

Is that really what they all thought of him? Is that what Swiss thought all of this was?

“You’re a smart guy, yeah? You should be smart enough to know not to cross this clear line in the sand that you and your dad drew a long time ago. Go back to your fucking tower and stay there.”

And as quickly as his tirade began, it ended with Dew turning on his heel and storming off with his fists clenched at his sides. He’d said more than enough for Rain to get the message; none of them wanted anything to do with him, Swiss just didn’t know it yet. They all harbored a level of resentment Rain hadn’t quite comprehended apparently.

Rain didn’t walk after him. Stays rooted in place watching Dew stalk off towards the fields until the vague shape of him becomes blurry. Tears burned in his eyes. All he could do was shrink into himself and return to the house where he promptly shoved the paper bag to the bottom of the trash can. At least there, he could pretend he’d never made it to begin with.

Was he stupid? He felt like an idiot for ever thinking he could really have something as genuine as this.

Heat radiated within his chest and made itself known in the form of blotchy redness in his cheeks. He retreated to his room, bag dropped steps in front of his door in order to throw himself onto his bed like a teenage girl with a broken heart. They weren’t anything and yet it felt like his rib cage was caving in. Guilt, shame, and humiliation danced inside him. Mingled into a single sensation that made his throat painfully tight.

Rain hiccuped over a half sob, shoving both pillows off the bed and onto the floor. He didn’t need the reminder. With both pillows out of the way, he was met with the cotton candy blue shark he’d stuffed into hiding the night before. He wiped his eyes on his sleeve and pulled the plush against himself. Childish comforts.

Dew was right, telling him the things he was too selfish to acknowledge. None of them wanted him around, and maybe Swiss didn’t really either. Did Swiss only humor him because he was the boss’ son? Placate ‘the princess’ to keep his job. Dew was right. He didn’t deserve Swiss.

[staygoldpbj]

sink to black from blue (a marlie drabble)

(for those sadly uninformed, marlie is micah foster/charlie torres-moore aka trevor & josh’s greaser characters who've basically become our ocs <3) (just scroll the #marlie tag on my blog lmao

inspired by this post! canon universe, post-rumble! shout out to @elisadoreyou & @wassupmygays creating these guys with u have been so fun omg

Micah winced at the alcohol sting. The cut on his temple was nasty, probably could use a stitch or two. The thought was almost funny ‘cause he sure as hell didn’t have enough money to afford stitches. It’d leave a tough scar. Good.

“I said I’m fine, okay? This ain’t my first rumble,”

Charlie’s face was pinched tight, lips pressed in a thin line. He was kneeled in front of the toilet, where Micah was leaned over himself. One hand on Micah’s knee with his thumb rubbing back and forth.

He hissed at the next sting. It did nothing for his bitch of a headache.

The rumble did a number on him, he’ll admit it. He could hold his own fine — more than fine. And he did— but those football Socs could throw a hard punch. It made something rough boil in the pit of his stomach.

“Don’t care. You shouldn’t go out getting all hurt like this.”

It felt like a stab to his pride. He’s been doing this for seventeen years— yearly eighteen. He can handle himself. He don’t need taking care for.

“I fight, Charlie, that’s what I’ve always fucking done. I don’t need a babysitter,” He bit it out in quick barks. Everything felt red and hot.

“That’s not—”

“I’ve done this a million times alone—” He tried to swat the bottle out of Charlie‘s hand, but Charlie pulled away quick. It just made him madder. “And I don’t need someone to fucking lick my wounds for me.”

“That‘s not what I’m trying to do!” Charlie snapped back. Blood rushed in Micah’s ears. He could feel the anger on face through heat and the strain on his scraps. It burned

“It fucking feels like it,”

“I’m trying to help, okay?”

Micah couldn’t even process the sweep of desperation in Charlie’s tone before the dam burst.

“I don’t need help, damn it!” He was too loud, he was gonna wake the kids up. Fuck. “I’ve been out in Tulsa my whole damn life, and y'know who looked out for me? No one. I sure as hell don’t need someone to act like I’m some baby! You weren’t out there fighting with me so you can fuck off trying to help now!”

He knew he didn’t mean the words as soon as he said ‘em. Charlie didn’t need to fight in that rumble. He didn’t think he wanted him to. That night was ‘bout the bloodiest night that he’d seen in a long time. He gets why. Ponyboy and Johnny Cade’s face are still circling the papers every morning, calling for their arrests. Those Socs aren’t letting ‘em go for nothing.

He didn’t want Charlie caught up in that at all.

The blood in his ears and pounding in his head was so loud, Charlie had to squeeze his knees for Micah to realize he’d been talking.

His jaw was set hard and his eyes were so damn sure. But trying to get through a brick wall with words did nothing. Something inside of Micah ached. Was that all he was now?

“I ain’t a fighter, Micah,”

He swallowed hard. He hadn’t met what he said. “I don’t need you to be one, Char. You just—”

“No, look, I— I don’t get this fighting stuff. I wasn’t raised with it, I’ve never fought a fight like— like that shit in my life, okay? That’s not ever in the cards. I’m useless right now and seeing you all beat and bruised makes me feel sick or somethin’. I gotta…” He swallowed thickly and the frustration on his face broke into something raw. His breath trembled. “I gotta do something to help. I can’t fight and I care about you so—”

They both paused at the confession. Charlie’s brown eyes were wide and Micah was sure his were too.

What’s been going on between ‘em hasn’t necessarily been left unaddressed, but it’s been left unspoken. They both know. It’s obvious as hell to the both of ‘em. It hasn’t been spoken not because of fear, but survival.

“I know,” Micah whispered, almost a croak. Hope sparked to life in Charlie’s eyes. “I do, too, I…”

He didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t know what he could say without crossing some unspoken line.

Micah has only focused on the important things— his family and their survival. That’s the whole point of his fighting, his work, his life. He’s never wanted. Not like this. Not in such a selfish, indulgent way that feels like something stabbing through his heart.

Nothing else could be said from him.

Charlie smiled tentatively. There was something fragile in the air.

“Just let me do this.” He whispered. “For me. Seeing you like this all alone makes my heart feel like it was in that rumble, too.”

Charlie’s eyes practically pleaded with his resolve. He wanted to shut the door in his face and gasp through the pain and slip into bed next to his siblings and pretend like nothing hurt until he couldn’t anymore. He was used to being alone. What was one more night?

But another part, something so deeply pushed down, he barely even knew it was there— longed. For Charlie’s smile, his touch and soft hands on his face, his lips on his head, whispered words only the two of them knew. It was a terrible part of him but Charlie didn’t care.

So. Against all his seventeen years of fighting, Micah let his wall break down and he nodded.

“Thank you,” He croaked. He wasn’t going to cry, but the emotion was there all the same.

Charlie’s smile was gentle, so sure, so caring. He could tell Micah all the world would be fine and he’d believe him. He picked the bottle of alcohol up off the floor and raised a hand to Micah’s cheek.

His palm was soft. It just grazed against his face, but for once, Micah let himself lean into the touch until Charlie’s hand cupped his cheek. Charlie rubbed a thumb over his cheekbone. His dark eyes reflected the bathroom lights.

God, Charlie could break open Micah’s every defense and he doesn’t even know if he could put up a good fight.

“Thank you,” Charlie whispered back into Micah’s eyes. His lips parted— and he picked up the wash rag.

[the-hinky-panda]

War of the Roses Series: Part III

Warning: Mention of miscarriages and grief

At first, Bill doesn’t understand why you’ve taken him to a small courtyard that sits between the barn and the small indoor arena. It’s not a large area, just a square piece of grass with a few shrubs and flowerbeds. There is a small area surrounded by a low stone wall that has a bench and three rose bushes planted in the corner. It’s a quiet, thoughtful space that seems out of place with the barn. 

But then he remembers something from his childhood. It had been raining for three days, not out of the norm in Missouri. His mother had recently returned home from an overnight hospital stay, and he was under strict orders to keep his twelve-year-old bullshit to a minimum. He then watched his father, the toughest son of a bitch he had ever known, go out into the rain and dig a hole in the garden off the back porch. He remembers how his father’s white t-shirt clung to his back as he planted a white rose bush. He remembers how his mother couldn’t watch from the back porch, and instead curled up in the corner of the couch and sobbed. 

It’s a memorial space. 

He touches the stone wall as you lead him into the space, says a silent prayer for the sister he never got to meet and the three children you were never able to hold. The somberness saps the fire he had been feeling since watching you sit across from him at dinner. For some reason though, standing there with you, knowing what you’re showing him, it feels far more intimate than the moment you shared in the barn. 

“This,” you say quietly, “this is why he hates me.” 

“You would think with the lives we provide them, scenery like this, homes like ours, never wanting for anything, they would be motivated to do their actual fucking jobs.” 

Was this what Cal was talking about? Three miscarriages, was that reason enough to divorce someone? You gently take his hand and force him to unclench the fist he had made. “How can he hate you for something that’s out of your control?” 

You shake your head. “The world is filled with people who hate other people for things out of their control. That’s nothing new, Bill.” 

You made a solid point. “He thinks you’re doing this on purpose?” 

“He does. He only married me so he could have someone to pass everything onto when he’s too old to manage it himself.” Your thumb fiddles with his pinky ring. “That’s how it works in your world too?” 

It should make him uncomfortable that you acknowledge his true line of work but it doesn’t. If anything, it seems to pull you even closer to him. “It is.” 

“I know I’m on my way out of this marriage. He needs someone to provide an heir and I’m not that person.” You swipe at your face with the back of your free hand and he realizes you’re crying. “I can’t do that for you either. So just keep that in mind.” 

He pulls you close against his side, holding you firmly there and trying to ignore the feeling of just how fucking perfectly you fit there. “There are more important things in life than heirs and lineage. There will always be someone to take over a business, blood related or not.” He presses a kiss against the crown of your head. “You keep that in mind.” 

You release a long breath, sinking into him for a moment before standing up straight. He sees the armor being put back into places and it causes something to twinge in his chest. It shouldn’t be necessary but he understands why it is. He takes one last moment, standing in this sacred place, and kisses you gently on the lips. 

“You call me if you need anything,” he tells you. “Day or night, promise me you’ll do that.” 

You smile slightly but nod your head. “Okay.” 

He knows he needs to head back up to the house, that he’s been gone far too long and his guys will want to get on the road soon. But something is telling him to take you with him, to not leave you here. But you’ve survived for the last six years with Cal so he takes some comfort that you can survive another couple weeks before he can make it back to Tulsa. 

***

When you go back to the house later that night, you go in the back door and take all the back hallways to the master bedroom to avoid Cal. You strip off all your clothes, bury them under your running clothes from this morning and then stand under scalding hot water for twenty minutes. You reluctantly wash Bill’s cologne from your skin, wash his fingerprints from your body and it feels wrong. 

Cal doesn’t love you, he hasn’t from day one. The realization of that hits you full force. He knows of the rose bushes, the memorial garden that you planted there in the only place on the property that felt like yours. Cal hates the horses, never wants to see them or touch them. He flat out refuses to step foot into the memorial garden you planted and care for. 

But Bill, who has no stake whatsoever in your plight, came to see the horses, not even knowing you were there. He willingly went to the small garden, stood there, understood the significance of what you were showing him without having to speak the words. He shared that burden of grief with you when your own husband, the father of the lost children, couldn’t be bothered with it. 

You need a plan to get out of this farce of a marriage. You turn the water off in the shower and grab one of the towels. Your mind is racing as you dry off. You’ll need money, clothes, a place to stay, a place for your horses. The roses. Somehow you need to take the roses with you. You can’t leave them behind. Cal will forget them. He’ll forget them. You can’t let that happen. You pull on your satin pajamas and walk into the bedroom to a sight that makes your blood run cold. 

Cal is in one of the leather wingback chairs in the sitting area of the bedroom, a whiskey glass in his hand. “Did you have a nice shower?” 

Your eyes haven’t left the three suitcases sitting at the end of the bed. “Cal?” 

“I think it’s obvious our agreement has come to an end.” 

“Agreement? You mean our marriage?” 

“Is that what you would call this? Huh.” He takes a sip of the whiskey. “I was under the impression that a marriage was between two people working towards the same goal. I told you what that goal was when we married.” 

“I can’t…I don’t know…” 

“Can you finish a sentence please?” 

You take a deep breath and slowly release it. “I don’t know what you want me to do about not being able to carry a child. I can’t control that.” 

He finishes the whiskey and sets the glass down on the side table. “What I want you to do is take your shit to whatever other bedroom you wish where you will sleep tonight. Tomorrow morning, you leave with what’s packed in those suitcases. You’ll get the horses out of the barn as soon as possible because they’re going to the knacker by the end of the week.” 

Your stomach roils to the point that you bring a hand to your mouth. How are you going to find transportation and a place for your horses in four days? It’s going to cost thousands of dollars and you’re certain Cal isn’t giving you any portion of the estate. 

“I’m going to take a shower now and when I walk out of there, I don’t want to see you in this room again.” Cal stands up and walks past you. “And as far as things that you can control goes, perhaps you shouldn’t have fucked my new business partner in a fucking barn.”

[peppymintdreams]

a fic of barista and elias having an argument, and barista crying in the middle of it?

Tears in the Storm

Elias x Barista

The tension in the room was palpable. It had been building up for days—weeks, even—but tonight was the breaking point. Elias and Barista stood across from each other, the air thick with frustration and unspoken words. The argument had started innocently enough, a disagreement about something small, but like a fire catching dry grass, it quickly escalated.

“Elias, I just don’t get it!” Barista’s voice was tight, but the raw edge of hurt was creeping in. “Why do you always shut me out when things get difficult? Why can’t you just talk to me like a normal person?!”

Elias’s jaw tightened, his eyes narrowing. His frustration, always on a razor’s edge, finally snapped. “Because I don’t need anyone to fix my problems!” he shot back, his voice rising in pitch. “I can’t drag you into everything, Barista! I—I don’t want to keep putting you in danger just because I can’t handle things on my own!”

“You’re always pushing me away!” Barista’s chest heaved with each breath, their hands trembling at their sides. “I’m not some fragile thing you have to protect, Elias. I’m here for you, you know that, don’t you? Why is it so hard to just let me in for once? To let me help you?”

“I’m trying to protect you, okay?!” Elias snapped, his voice raw with emotion. “Every time I try to open up, something goes wrong, and I can’t bear the thought of you getting hurt because of my mistakes. It’s easier for me to keep it to myself than to drag you into this mess!”

Barista took a step forward, their eyes desperate as they searched Elias’s face. “But we’re in this together, Elias! We’re always together! It doesn’t matter what happens, we’re a team, okay?”

Elias’s heart clenched, but his pride, that wall of defense he’d built over the years, wouldn’t let him let go. “You don’t understand, Barista. You never will. I—” He stopped himself, realizing how cruel his words were, but he couldn’t take them back.

A sharp silence fell between them. The words hung in the air like smoke, suffocating them both.

Barista’s breath hitched as they blinked rapidly, trying to keep the sting of tears at bay. The words Elias had said—those raw, cutting things—tore at them, but it was the underlying truth that hurt the most. He didn’t trust them enough to let them in. And that thought… that thought had more power than anything else he could’ve said.

“Fine,” Barista whispered, their voice barely audible. “If that’s how you feel… then maybe I shouldn’t be here.”

The weight of the words hit Elias like a punch to the gut. He wanted to say something, anything, but the words wouldn’t come. His chest tightened with guilt, but his fear and pride held him back, like invisible chains he couldn’t break free from.

Barista wiped at their eyes, turning away from him. “I can’t keep doing this, Elias. I can’t keep pretending that everything’s fine when you won’t even let me in.” Their voice cracked, and they quickly turned their back on him, not wanting him to see the tears that were finally falling.

Elias felt like the ground beneath him had just vanished. He wanted to go to them, to take their hands, to apologize for every stupid thing he’d said, but his feet felt like they were glued to the floor.

“I didn’t mean that,” he said, his voice breaking as he took a step forward. His heart pounded. He needed to fix this. “Barista—please, I didn’t—”

But Barista was already shaking their head, their body trembling as they wiped their face, trying to regain control. “No, Elias. I… I need space. I can’t keep doing this.”

Elias’s stomach twisted with dread. He wanted to hold them, to tell them everything he’d been too afraid to say, but he was terrified. Terrified that he’d ruined something he wasn’t sure he could fix.

Barista’s shoulders shook as they turned back toward him, their tear-streaked face a mixture of hurt and exhaustion. “I just want to be there for you, Elias. Is that too much to ask?” Their voice was soft now, but it held so much pain. “Why can’t you just let me love you?”

The words hit Elias harder than anything. They shattered him, because deep down, he knew he was the one pushing them away. He’d always been this way—always afraid of letting anyone close, of letting them see the cracks in his armor.

His voice was barely a whisper as he took a tentative step forward, reaching for them. “Barista, I— I’m so sorry.”

But they shook their head again, stepping back from him. “I don’t know if I can keep doing this, Elias. I need more than just your apology. I need you.”

Elias’s chest tightened with panic, but he held his ground, his heart aching. He was scared—terrified that he’d lost them, but there was only one thing he could say now.

“I love you,” he said, the words raw, desperate. “I know I don’t always show it, but I love you. Please, don’t go.”

Barista froze, staring at him with wide eyes. The tears that had been falling seemed to stop in an instant. The silence was thick, but this time it wasn’t suffocating. It was a chance.

Slowly, Barista took a hesitant step toward him, their hands still trembling. “You… love me?” they asked, voice barely above a whisper.

Elias nodded, his eyes searching theirs for some sign that he hadn’t ruined everything. “I’m not perfect, but I’m trying, okay? I just… I don’t know how to let you in without breaking you, but I’m learning. I’ll learn for you.”

Barista’s tears started again, but this time, it was a different kind of cry. The cry of someone who’d been holding onto pain for too long and now, finally, felt heard. They stepped forward, closing the gap between them, and Elias reached for them immediately, pulling them into an embrace, careful not to hurt them more.

“I’m so sorry,” Elias murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “I promise… I promise I’ll do better.”

Barista’s arms wrapped around him, holding on tightly as they let the tears fall freely now. “I just want you to let me love you, Elias. That’s all I want.”

And for the first time in a long while, Elias let himself believe that maybe—just maybe—they could work through this. Together.

[seasideoranges]

idk if it’s just me but the whole “which atla kid in the gaang is the most mature” debates can get redundant and kind of exhausting at times. they’re kids. they’re multifaceted characters. they’re mature in some departments and immature in others. they have their strengths and weaknesses. also they’re kids lol.

[sammygender]

so many people can’t conceptualise emotional neglect as anything other than ‘my parents were cold and distant and never talked about feelings with me’, and this, while being just a general awful problem of course, is also what leads to so much john winchester mischaracterisation. in this essay i will

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

Kinda wild how I consistently feel like 30% less insane every time I chop my hair from Bad Shaggy back to Good Short and yet I keep going “but do I actually have a Gender Thing though”