#secret origins verse

[destiny-in-the-universe]

of phantoms and felines [DannyMay 2024: Wander]

okay, so- this is pretty out there in terms of my older prompts for dannymay and yes, i am well aware this is the last day- i will write all the others, but give me time; i am losing my mind over here because coming up with ideas is so hard sometimes but

this is meant to be for dannymay prompt "wander", but it's still an incredibly loose interpretation of it! (literally it's because of danny 'wandering' to paris, france for some of the summer-); this is admittedly not my best work and i am so embarrassed but there you go!

of phantoms and felines

Fandom(s): Danny Phantom, Miraculous Ladybug

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Series: Secret Origins: The Misadventures of World's Heroes

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56268331

i hope you come to enjoy this! i haven't done crossover fanfic in so long, and if the personalities and/or characterizations are off- i am so sorry, oh my lord please forgive me (it will get better, just give me time heh)

[secret-origins-crossover]

Okay, so.

I know Secret Trio is not at the hype it used to be in, buuuttt since Secret Origins has gotten quite the bit of attention - I was wondering if anyone might want to see a server for it?

I’m hoping to see this series eventually reach its end at some point but well, hyperfixation is as hyperfixation does. I want to see this crossover at its entirety, but seriously would anyone want to join a discord server?

[unlocked-doors-verse]

Updates on Secret Origins

To keep things from getting too cluttered, I decided separating the Origins universe from Mystery Kids might work better in the long run; if anyone wants to follow me on @secret-origins-crossover then please feel free to!

This is mostly going into a quick, not too in depth version of what to expect for Secret Origins and the main arcs within it! To briefly explain, it is a joint crossover between Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja, Danny Phantom, American Dragon: Jake Long, and Miraculous Ladybug. The Secret Origins arc is meant to be a five-part prequel of how the characters met, and will expand unto a main series with more shenanigans.

Arc Overview

[UNTITLED] - Part 1 of 5: An unexpected family vacation leads to Danny and the rest of the Fentons spending a week in Paris, France; things take a sudden turn when he begins realizing there are more heroes than he thoughts- now teaming up with Ladybug and Chat Noir, Danny is likely in over his head (though that absolutely will not stop him from discovering something much bigger is happening.

[DETAILS PENDING] Parts 2-5: These will focus on the main character introductions, with part five being the final installation- which pans into the second arc.

Fandom Tags

secret origins au/verse/crossover / origins universe - main tag

secret origins lore - lore tag

phan noir (platonic!) - friendship tag for chat noir and danny fenton/phantom

More will be dropped eventually!

~ Mod Danny (They/Them)

[spiralsinshadows]

The Split

The eggshell sky cracks open

And out leaks a yolk of rain

No death by a thousand droplets

But an obtuse mass of water

A tumor on the horizon

Leaking its filth

Into the healthy tissues

– Cotton-puff clouds morphing –

Until they are bandages

Heavy with infection

And still

The bruised azure keeps coughing up

Clots of rainbow blood

—Nikola Sojka

[secretsiwhispertothemoon]

i saw the quote

"you can easily return to the past but no one is there”

and I’ve been thinking about it for the last 48 hours

and oh dont I yearn so deeply for the past, for my past, i long to go back to that place, my home, but it doesn’t exist, not now and maybe it never did, sometimes I wonder if I ever saw it for what it was cause when I try to look all I see is white flags but my scars tell me that they were once both the same colour, so I am left homeless in four walls and a roof, my bag by the door.

[gavotte-paradisio]

Beauty

A song by the Mad Herald (one of my Meadowlark/Yaelokre OC's)

There once was a beautiful baby

Her mother said that she was sent by a god

But as she began to grow older

It was clear that she was quite odd

Beauty, where have you gotten to?

Beauty, where have you been?

To have such a gorgeous mind up in the moonlands

Why, it is almost a sin

She fought with both teachers and other children

In her wake, left a river of tears

Yet the tears made her only seem stranger

So she grew up a bundle of fears

Beauty, where have you gotten to?

Beauty, where have you been?

To have such a gorgeous mind up in the moonlands

Why, it is almost a sin

She finally found her a calling

And dutifully stayed the course

Yet the footpath seemed so long and daunting,

For most of her peers owned a horse

Beauty, where have you gotten to?

Beauty where have you been?

To have such a gorgeous mind up in the moonlands

Why, it is almost a sin

But then the unthinkable happened

The Beauty vanished in thin air

She left not a note to her kinfolk

But she's glad to be out of their hair

Some say she drowned in the river

Some say she ran off with a prince

Some say she's a sprite in the forest

All we know is no one's seen her since

Beauty, where are you going?

Beauty, where have you gone?

And how did we not see this coming?

For you always were an odd one

[victorluvsalice]

Valicer Multiamory Month, Day Sixteen: Outsider POV (All The Fairytales AU)

We're past the halfway point of Multiamory March (as per @polyamships) now, and today's prompt is an interesting one: "Outsider POV!" As in, what does all this polyamorous nonsense look like to someone OUTSIDE the actual polycule?

Well, to a noble couple from another kingdom in my All The Fairy Tales AU (otherwise known as "Ever Ever After") who keep getting wedding invitations from the royal family of Dort, it looks very weird indeed. XD Yeah, when I saw this prompt, I immediately wanted to do something with somebody reacting to the fact that, at the end of all the fairy-tale-related shenanigans outlined in that post (seriously, there are too many to recount here), Prince Victor Van Dort ends up getting married four times. So here is exactly that! Hope you enjoy. :)

--

“So – Prince Van Dort is getting married again.”

“...beg pardon?”

“I’m serious. Here’s the invitation. It was delivered right before breakfast.”

“What the – this is the fourth in as many months! How can he have gotten married four times already?! No one’s wives drop dead that fast unless they’re being poisoned, and – well, the rulers of Dort may not be the most refined, but they’re not killers! Not to mention, if there had been any royal funerals, we would have been invited to those too! We got one for when they thought he was dead! Just – what is going on here?!”

“Well, dearest, you’ll be pleased to know that I myself met with the messenger who delivered this invitation, and was able to ask him what was going on. And he was able to give me an answer.”

“Really? Out with it, then! Please explain to me why this young man keeps getting married!”

“Simply put, it’s because Prince Van Dort fell in love with four people. And apparently Dort has an old law on the books that makes polygamy legal for the royal heir if they have no brothers or sisters.”

“...what? So – wait. All of his previous wives are still alive?”

“Indeed – well, for a given value of such. Remember wife number two, Lady Emily Merrimack? Mermaid.”

“Oh. That explains that wedding being on the beach...but – still. The princess-consort is – fine with all this?”

“Yes – as per the messenger, the former Princess Everglot, Lady Merrimack, and Lady Liddell are all dear friends. In fact, there’s rumors that the princess-consort and Lady Merrimack might be a bit – closer than that.”

“...huh. Well, it’s not our kingdom, so...who is he getting married to this time?”

“Smiler, Minister of Joy, of the Alton Towers Fairies.”

“...um–”

“The law also does not specify that any of the extra spouses need to be women. Or human. And even if it did – would you want to argue with one of the group they call the Secret Weapons of Alton Towers?”

“...we’re going to have to send a really good gift for this one, aren’t we?”

“I think it would be a smart idea, yes.”

[foliarlight]

* VERSE. & |   HONKAI: STAR RAIL.

✧ Fullbody reference for his appearance in this verse. ✧ Alhaitham is of the Erudition Path and uses the Imaginary Element. His primary weapon is a sword that resembles a scimitar, though he also uses refraction and mirrors in his kit. These are technological constructs created through digital means. His combat style heavily resembles the trope of a spellsword in this verse, though he does not use real magic and the skills merely resemble such. He is a quick and efficient fighter, his attacks typically doing widespread damage to swiftly end an encounter. ✧ He is classified as an android and may appear similar to Sheila upon first glance. However, his AI processes are far superior and so advanced that they can barely be distinguished from humans. He was a prototype formerly created by the Aeon of Rebirth ( Deshret's equivalent ) through ancient technology. On most occasions, he only introduces himself as a S.A.P.A ( " self-sustaining autonomous processing android " ) to avoid unnecessary questions and prying minds. Any further inquiries are met with silence, claiming that this data is prohibited without clearance. The name that was given to him by his former creator was Project-[V0L4NS.] Although he does not share this information, a part of him continues to identify with the name in spite of his chosen designation, " Alhaitham. " ✧ Deshret was an Aeon of Rebirth and Wisdom. Many Amber Eras ago he passed away in his incessant pursuit of knowledge and eventually paid the price. Before his ultimate demise, he managed to imbue his project with a fragment of his essence. Like many other Aeons who have passed away, what still remained of him was assimilated into the Erudition Nous and became apart of the greater path, his name gradually being forgotten.

✧ Literally no one knows where he is from and he refuses to elaborate, typically citing that it is confidential information that will not be shared. ✧ He is a member of the Intelligentsia Guild. Although he definitely has the potential to join the Genius Society and was offered to number among their ranks in the past, he has no interest in being put on some pedestal and has been far more content in this more lowkey position. Unfortunately, this invitation has not gone unnoticed and as a result, people still tend to approach him for all sorts of matters, making him a well known member of the guild. He is considered to be highly knowledgeable and analytical. ✧ He keeps to himself and is hard to find unless he wishes to be found. Most members of the Intelligentsia Guild know not to bother him once he has left the relevant premises and he ensures not to be roped into doing extra hours unless it is necessary. Good luck finding him once he left.

✧ Highly elaborated module for linguistics and ancient script. He utilizes this skill to decipher obscure knowledge that others may be incapable of reading. As such, he has accumulated a vast breadth of knowledge and has access to information that others may not. He is not dissimilar to an archivist, though some may also consider him a knowledge broker. This hails back to the ideals of the Intelligentsia Guild of circulating knowledge like currency, albeit Alhaitham rarely shares what he knows unless it is a fair trade — and even then, he only offers a miniscule percentage of it. ✧ Similar to his main verse, his " headphones " double as an auditory processing device, though they cannot be taken off and are an inherent part of his being. Eavesdropping is exceptionally easy and they are also able to record surrounding sounds, such as ongoing conversations. ✧ His eyes are cybernetic and capable of scanning their environment to draw information from it. This also includes thermal vision, enhancing to view greater detail, being capable of discerning the components of what he is looking at, etc. These eyes resemble his original ones in design, however upon closer inspection they have noticeably mechanical parts. ✧ He shares his residence with Kaveh ( @ksharhrewar ), a famous engineer who primarily works at Herta's Space Station. Although their relationship has its ups and downs, they ultimately benefit from each other's presence and Kaveh is the only one he trusts for maintenance.

Design & art credit © Genshin Poker

[mayorjesterz]

one verse from every The Land is Inhospitable song that i associate with ari mendoza cuz im insane

(songs that are bolded and italicized are hardcore ari songs in general) (notice how most of them are .)

Bug Like an Angel

Buffalo Replaced

Heaven

I Don't Like My Mind

The Deal

When Memories Snow

My Love Mine All Mine

The Frost

Star

I'm Your Man

I Love Me After You

[izzysarchivedblogs]

@herbalwarlock rolled an 8 on the die and gets Newark's Vigilante on tonight's MUSE ROUTLETTE

〞THE SOUND OF DIAL UP INTERNET〝 is made from her throat, projected out as she watches him. ❝ YEAH, whatever you just did or said, I did not catch that. ❞

[destiny-in-the-universe]

the brainrot is hitting again- i just found out that akumas are evil spirits in japanese folklore, and i swear to everything; let's just say now have ideas for one of my crossovers, but i also need to watch the new helluva boss episode later tonight- i'm just eating up content with a spork right now

[secret-origins-crossover]

little update

i know this fic hasn't garnered a lot of traction, but i am genuinely very excited for the rest of the secret origins verse- though honestly, i am still trying to figure out what direction to take it. i also want to thank those who found my fic via ao3, even if they do not have a tumblr because holy shit i was not expecting this kind of a reaction (?) - words are hard right now, i am so sorry heh

though i will say that things are going to be very interesting for the remaining four parts; of course, secret origins is only one small part of a much larger story and i am off the walls bouncing about it- that being said, i am genuinely struggling what fandoms will be overlapped in the next one, so i figured i could leave it up to poll

(I realize American Dragon x Miraculous isn't an option, but I am holding off on that one for now- I can't think of anything for it at the moment although I do have plans on how to connect the magical world in ADJL and the Kwamis of Miraculous. That however, is spoilers and we'll be covering that in future fics!)

I probably will be opening up an FAQ later on down the line! That is, if I get enough people interested in this idea!

For now, I'll probably be working on the sidelines to write the lore because holy shit do I have plans- between the Sorcerer in RC9GN to the Dark Dragon from American Dragon, there's so much left to happen. Without much further ado, I will leave this here!

Good luck

[respondedinkind]

@danversiism cont. [x]

None of this had been part of Khan's initial plan; Needing to escape from Marcus without his beloved family, blowing up Section 31 in an attempt to lure all the Admirals into one single room, attacking them just for that asshole to survive and for that young Captain to damage the aircraft he's been sitting within at that time...

None of that had been planned beyond what his rage-fueled self had allowed Khan to come up with. But it had been somewhat planned, at least - quickly, hastily, an attempt to hurt the one man who has hurt him so, so much and so, so often ever since waking him from cryosleep... but still.

What happened after, however, had absolutely not been planned in any shape or form. When Khan had used the portable beaming device in an attempt to move himself to Kronos, away from the scene of his own attack, he had ended up somewhere else entirely.

---In space, to be precise, together with the damaged shuttle.

And then he had fallen back onto earth, unable to do anything about it; Gravitation being the culprit, maneuvered his existence straight toward the north pole - the most worst place one could ever crash-land at, all things considered.

How Khan managed to survive that fall with just a few gashes along his temple and cheek, a half-broken nose, a split lip and a dull but minor pain in his right shoulder? No idea. Perhaps his body is a bit more tough than he himself has expected it to be - or that glacier has, in some odd way, managed to soften the fall a bit. It doesn't matter much, though, because Khan is alive and he is stranded at the coldest place earth has to offer, and he doesn't even know how he's ended up here to begin with.

So when he spots a woman appearing out of nowhere, completely out of place, it... surprises and confuses him, both at the same time.

The first thing that comes to his mind, brain somewhat dizzy from the rough impact before, is to make his way over to her and offer the coat he wears. Perhaps he shouldn't do that, because he needs it just the same, but then---

...Rescuing him?

Those words cause black brows to lift along a forehead and Khan blinks as he gazes at the unknown one, while his coat is offered right back at him. The confusion within him spreads and Khan realizes that she might not be the only cause for it to exist; It fits the dizziness he experiences, and perhaps he's suffering from a concussion here.

"...Carol?", he repeats, as it testing the way her name sounds on the tip of his tongue. Blue eyes squint briefly before Khan allows his gaze to trail, head turning as he takes in the sight of... ice. Snow. More ice, more snow.

---How did she...

"...How did you...", he starts, eyes closing briefly, with Khan bringing a hand up to his forehead, rubbing his palm along the span of it before he looks back at her, starting to wonder whether she could be a hallucination of sorts. Is he dreaming, perhaps? Unconscious because of his previous fall? Or... conscious, still, but seeing things that aren't real?

Nothing is surrounding them, after all. No city, no other people, no civilization. They are stuck in the middle of nowhere, within the freezing cold!

"---Khan.", he says then, a bit defeated, the confusion now written all over his features. "---Let me ask again: How did you end up here?"

[vaguely-functional-directions]

Youtube recommend me the avatar secret tunnel song, like from the live action, and I was... underwhelmed?

[legaciestold]

@ensnchekov gets a reply to this a year late because i suck

this is insane. it's insane. it well and truly is. and the thing is, georgie myers knows insanity. she knows impossibility and dimension traveling and all the crazy shit that's in-between. but this? this is something next-level bizarre and despite the fact her mind's already cycled through this train of thought at least three times since this man has appeared before her, she's still reeling from it. demons georgie could deal with. a troll, another day at the troll market. tooth fairies? the stuff of nightmares and something she really doesn't want to encounter again. but a fictional character showing up through magic from some parallel universe? that was.. she didn't know what to call it. further, if this man literally existed in the multiverse... did that mean that all those fictional characters from the million shows, books, and movies out there, all did too? if this was a cartoon, a mushroom cloud would be forming above her head. she takes a breath, then another as her dark hues continue to wash over him, little patters of rain still following around them. the temptation to poke him still lingers. maybe she's finally broken, completely lost her mind. yet she knows she hasn't. this is as real as the cool air dancing around them.

she can see him thinking, not needing to be a telepath to have something of an idea of where his mind might be going. (though, she knows a telepath or two if their needed.) "but it can't be the same thing or inspiration for the other. you'd know if it was. because you'd know about the show and the same people like kirk and you and sulu and spock and spock's sister michael and everyone else wouldn't exist in a tv show and then again centuries later..." this is making her brain hurt. "holy crap, you know how warp drives work! i don't know if aliens exist in this universe or not but... do you realize you could literally single-handedly give us wrap power if you wanted to? but.. i suppose that'd be a violation of the prime directive, wouldn't it? even if starfleet doesn't exist in this world.. and we haven't even made it passed the moon with manned flight yet.." she trails off, her mind jumping in a million directions at once. which, considering everything she's had to deal with in the last few years, this feeling was.. a nice change in pace from where her mind usually fell into when she'd ventured out away from people.

"but vampires, magic, demons, angels, baba yaga. all that's real. i've got powers too, except i'm human. some humans have powers. don't really know why. my little brother can heal people but he's a warlock so he's got all the cool magic too." she pauses a moment, looking back toward the book and then at chekov. "uh, not super far into looking through it really. the director isn't going to be thrilled i took it out of hq but i also think i might at least not get grounded for you popping up since he's my dad. then again, i'm almost twenty and have been going on missions since i was like fifteen, i don't think he can ground me anymore." she extends her hand out, back toward her jacket and the book, making them move into the air and float toward her and into her arms.

"i'm sure the bprd can try to help you find a way home. i just-- magic can be unpredictable and sometimes.. well, if anyone's able to try to find a way to help you, be happy i found you and some random that doesn't know about this stuff didn't. people know about magic now, that secret came out when i was younger but the government still tries to keep a lot of what people know about it limited so they don't go opening doors they can't close." she reveals. then, she circles back, his previous question that she hadn't answered finally registering.

"oh yeah, to answer your question. i can show you star trek, if it doesn't weird you out too much. i was watching the latest movie last night. it kills me every time i see the enterprise crash into a million pieces on the planet but you were cool in the movie. should have gotten to help rescue sulu instead of say on the ship though..." she pauses suddenly, realization drawing upon her features about how her words might sound. it was one thing to rattle off facts about him but now she was bringing up actual full on events that would likely bring up unpleasant memories for him. oh god, what if that hadn't happened yet for him? "oh, no. please tell me the krall stuff already happened for you and i didn't just screw up your timeline further than it's already been screwed with?"

[cressidagrey]

Wait, What?!

Pairing: Oscar Piastri x Felicity Leong-Piastri (Original Character)

Summary: 

Oscar Piastri managed to keep his wife a secret on accident for nearly half a decade…

Come to think off, that was not the only one he kept a secret. 

Notes: Part 2 of The mysterious Mrs. Piastri verse...

(divider thanks to @saradika-graphics )

Text Messages: Lando Norris & Max Fewtrell

Lando: BRO. EMERGENCY. URGENT. YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE THIS.

Max: Oh my god, what now?

Lando: OSCAR. PIASTRI. IS. MARRIED.

Max: …Yeah, that tracks.

Lando: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT TRACKS????

Max: I mean, I didn’t know, but also… not surprised.

Lando: HOW ARE YOU NOT SURPRISED??

Max: Because, mate, I knew Oscar back in the Renault Eurocup days. And he was in love.  Properly, stupidly, pathetically in love. You think Oscar’s all calm and unbothered? You should’ve seen teenage Oscar.

Lando: I CAN’T. MY BRAIN WON’T ACCEPT THIS.

Max: Bro, this man used to sit in the  paddock and stare at his phone, smiling at texts from her. Like, full-on grinning. It was disturbing.

Lando: NO.

Max: Oh yeah. Proper gobsmacked-in-love type of obsessed. We used to rip into him for it, and he didn’t even care.

Lando: WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE DIDN’T CARE???

Max: I mean, you know how Oscar is. He’d just shrug and go “Yeah, and?” Like we were the crazy ones.

Lando: I CAN’T PROCESS THIS.

Max: Mate, he was obsessed with her. Like, actual teenage boy, head-over-heels, no-thoughts-just-Felicity obsessed.

Lando: OSCAR???

Max: YES. You have no idea. We’d finish a race, and he’d be on his phone before he even got his helmet off. Always texting.

Lando: To her???

Max: Always. If he wasn’t texting, he was on FaceTime. If he wasn’t on FaceTime, he was watching her ballet videos like they were onboard footage.

Lando: …Ballet videos???

Max: She’s a ballerina. He tried to do ballet once. It went horribly.

Lando: PLEASE TELL ME THERE’S FOOTAGE.

Max: No, but I will never forget the look of pure pain on his face when he came back from one of her classes. “Max, this is the worst thing I’ve ever done. My calves don’t work anymore.”

Lando: I AM IN TEARS.

Max: And don’t even get me started on the food.

Lando: What food???

Max: Oscar always had the best snacks, and they were always things she made him. Like pandan cakes, curry puffs, some kind of egg tarts. Man was eating good.

Lando: I THOUGHT THAT WAS KIM?!

Lando: YOU’RE TELLING ME SHE WAS PACKING HIM LUNCHES LIKE A LITTLE HOUSEWIFE EVEN BACK THEN???

Max: Not even kidding. He always had food, and it was always from her. One time, I asked if I could have some, and he was like, “No, Felicity made this for me.”

Lando: HE WAS ALREADY A WHIPPED HUSBAND BEFORE HE EVEN TURNED 18.

Max: Precisely. Man has been gone for her since day one.

Lando: Selfish.

Max: To be fair, if someone made me homemade food with that much love, I wouldn’t share either.

Lando: …Fair.

Max: Also, she’s tiny. Like, I swear, I thought Oscar was going to break her just by hugging her. It was actually terrifying.

Lando: Who even is she???

Max: Felicity Lee? Leong? Something like that. She went to school with him. Tiny, startlingly pretty. I’m talking, ‘you do a double take and forget how to speak’ kind of pretty. That girl had Oscar so whipped before they even finished school, it was ridiculous.

GRID GROUP CHAT

Charles: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE A WIFE???

Charles: OSCAR, EXPLAIN. NOW.

Pierre: I JUST SPAT MY COFFEE OUT.

Carlos: I NEARLY DROVE OFF THE ROAD.

George: YOU HAVE A WHOLE WIFE??? A LEGALLY BOUND PARTNER???

George: I’m sorry, I need someone to confirm because I think I hallucinated.

Oscar: …Yes?

Charles: OH SURE, JUST CASUALLY. "Yes." Like you didn’t just drop the biggest bombshell on live TV.

Lewis: This is the most shocking news of the year, I need a moment.

Alex: You have a wife?

Alex: SINCE WHEN???

Fernando: The quiet ones always have secrets.

Max: Why do I feel like Daniel just screamed somewhere?

Daniel: I AM SCREAMING. I AM SCREAMING IN MY HOTEL ROOM. WHAT DO YOU MEAN OSCAR IS MARRIED??

Oscar: Five years.

Pierre: FIVE YEARS????

Carlos: YOU GOT MARRIED AT EIGHTEEN???

Lando: WHILE THE REST OF US WERE STILL FIGURING OUT HOW TO TALK TO GIRLS, YOU WERE OUT HERE GETTING MARRIED???

Oscar: Yeah.

Charles: WHY DID NONE OF US KNOW???

Logan: You guys didn’t know?

Charles: YOU KNEW?!

Logan: Yeah, met her ages ago.

Lando: HOW. WHY. WHEN.

Logan: Prema? Arthur knows too, I am pretty sure. 

Pierre: YOU WERE HOLDING THIS INFORMATION FROM US.

Oscar: I didn’t think it was that big of a deal?

Charles: NOT A BIG DEAL?!

Carlos: You could have at least mentioned it.

Lewis: Does she exist? Are you lying? Do we need proof?

Oscar: …Yes, Lewis, she exists.

Lando: WHO IS SHE. WHAT IS HER NAME. WHAT DOES SHE LOOK LIKE.

Max: How did you manage this? You are… you.

Oscar: ???

Daniel: I NEED TO SIT DOWN.

Lando: YOU ARE SITTING DOWN.

Daniel: I NEED TO LIE DOWN.

Oscar: You guys are being dramatic.

Pierre: You hid a whole wife from us. We are allowed to be dramatic.

Oscar: You never asked?

George: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE NEVER ASKED??? HOW WERE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW TO ASK???

Oscar: I don’t really talk about my personal life.

Lando: CLEARLY.

Pierre: But why doesn’t she come to races?

Oscar: She doesn’t like the circus.

Oscar: It gives her anxiety.

Oscar: And she’s already given up enough for me.

Charles: WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE’S GIVEN UP ENOUGH FOR YOU??

George: Bro, are you hearing yourself?? That sounds serious.

Carlos: That sounds like something from a movie.

Oscar: I don’t know why you’re all freaking out.

Pierre: BECAUSE YOU DROPPED THE BIGGEST NEWS OF THE YEAR LIKE IT WAS NOTHING???

Lando: Yeah, and now we’re finding out your mysterious wife has sacrificed things for you??? OSCAR.

Oscar: Her family didn’t approve of us getting married so young.

Lando: Okay, fair, that’s kind of understandable—

Oscar: So they cut her off.

Lando: WHAT.

Pierre: WHAT.

Carlos: EXCUSE ME???

Daniel: I’M GOING TO FIND THEM AND YELL AT THEM.

Charles: HOLD ON. YOU’RE SAYING SHE LEFT EVERYTHING FOR YOU AND HER FAMILY JUST—DIDN’T SPEAK TO HER AGAIN???

Oscar: Pretty much.

Lewis: …That’s awful.

Oscar: It is what it is.

Lando: NO, NO, IT’S NOT JUST WHAT IT IS. WHAT THE HELL, OSCAR.

Pierre: HOW HAVE YOU JUST NEVER TALKED ABOUT THIS BEFORE???

Oscar: Because it’s not my story to tell.

Carlos: That’s… actually fair.

Max: Her parents are stupid.

Oscar: Yeah, well. Nothing I can do about that.

Lewis: That must have been really hard for her.

Oscar: It was. It still is, sometimes. But she doesn’t regret it.

Lando: BECAUSE SHE LOVES YOU???

Oscar: Yeah.

Pierre: Oh my god.

Daniel: I’m emotional.

George: Okay but we don’t even know her name.

Pierre: DROP THE NAME, OSCAR.

Oscar: Felicity.

Lando: FELICITY????

Pierre: That’s so cute, I can’t even be mad.

Daniel: FELICITY PIASTRI???

Oscar: Yeah.

Lando: WHERE DOES SHE LIVE?? WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING HER???

Oscar: We live near the McLaren HQ.

Lando: YOU LIVE TOGETHER.

Pierre: OF COURSE THEY LIVE TOGETHER, LANDO, THEY’RE MARRIED.

Carlos: I feel like I need to lie down.

Daniel: You and me both.

Lewis: Alright, so when do we get to meet her?

Oscar: I’ll ask if she wants to come to Silverstone?

TEXT MESSAGES: Charles & Arthur Leclerc

Charles: ARTHUR.

Arthur: yes brother dearest

Charles: YOU KNEW OSCAR WAS MARRIED???

Arthur: uhhh yeah??

Charles: AND YOU DIDN’T THINK TO TELL ME???

Arthur: why would i tell you? i thought you knew?

Charles: WHY WOULD I KNOW??? HE NEVER TALKS ABOUT IT.

Arthur: yeah, he’s private about it, but like… he’s been married for years. i thought it was just one of those things everyone knew??

Charles: EVERYONE??? APPARENTLY NOT ME.

Arthur: ok but be honest. if i told you “oh yeah oscar got married at 18,” would you have believed me?

Charles: …fair point.

Charles: BUT STILL. HE GOT MARRIED AT 18???

Arthur: i know. we were all out here at prema still figuring out how to flirt and oscar was out here being A HUSBAND.

Arthur: like, we were panicking over texting girls back and he was making plans for dinner with his wife.

Charles: HOW DID THIS NEVER COME UP???

Arthur: idk, he’s not the type to bring it up randomly.

Arthur: but if you do ask, it’s game over. bro is OBSESSED with her.

Charles: ???

Arthur: like, i’ve seen him sit through a full engineering debrief completely unfazed, no reaction, zero emotions.

Arthur: but then his wife texts him “good luck” and suddenly he looks like he just won the lottery.

Arthur: prema days were just a bunch of kids losing their minds over instagram likes while oscar was married.

Arthur: like, we’d be debating if texting a girl twice in a row was too desperate, and oscar was over there planning his life with his wife.

Arthur: her family basically disowned her when she married him.

Charles: …what?

Arthur: yeah. they thought she was ruining her life by marrying some kid in motorsport.

Arthur: they told her she was throwing everything away for him. that he’d never make it, that she’d regret it.

Arthur: and when she didn’t back down, they cut her off completely. oscar doesn’t talk about it because he knows.

Arthur: he knows what she gave up for him.

Arthur: and he takes that personally.

Arthur: like, have you ever seen oscar get actually angry?

Charles: …no?

Arthur: i have. once.

Arthur: i walked in on him on the phone with her father.

Arthur: it was the scariest moment of my life.

Charles: OSCAR???

Arthur: YES.

Arthur: he was so calm but also terrifying.

Arthur: like, i swear to god, he said something like, “i don’t care what you think of me, but you don’t get to make her feel like she’s not worth loving.”

Arthur: And then he told the guy that if he ever so much as thought about talking to her like that again, oscar would personally fly across the world and put him in the ground.

Arthur: and the worst part? her dad believed him.

Arthur: like. i could hear it. the silence. the fear.

Arthur: and then oscar just hung up like it was nothing.

Arthur: meanwhile, i’m standing there losing my mind, trying to comprehend that my quiet, nice, mild-mannered teammate had just casually promised to commit murder.

Charles: holy shit.

Arthur: yeah. so next time you see him, just know: that man would burn the world down for his wife and daughter

Charles: ARTHUR. EXPLAIN. NOW.

Arthur: explain what?

Charles: “OSCAR’S WIFE AND DAUGHTER”???

Arthur: ohhh yeah. oscar has a kid. her name’s Bee. cutest little girl ever.

Charles: WHAT DO YOU MEAN OSCAR HAS A KID.

Arthur: i mean oscar. has a kid.

Charles: SINCE WHEN.

Arthur: since like. three years ago.

Charles: HE HAD A CHILD AT TWENTY?

Arthur: yeah, man. wild, right?

Charles: WHY AM I JUST NOW FINDING OUT.

Arthur: idk. you never asked.

Charles: WHY WOULD I ASK “HEY ARTHUR, DOES OSCAR HAVE A SECRET FAMILY”???

Arthur: fair point.

Charles: DOES THIS MAKE ME A GRANDPA.

Arthur: oh my god. wait.

Arthur: it kinda does.

Arthur: papy charles.

Charles: I WILL MURDER YOU.

Arthur: relax, grandpa.

Charles: I AM NOT A GRANDPA.

Arthur: okay, old man.

Charles: FOCUS.

Charles: WHY DID NO ONE THINK TO MENTION THIS TO ME.

Arthur: because oscar’s private? plus, it’s not like it changes anything. he’s still the same oscar. just, y’know. a dad.

Charles: I CANNOT PROCESS THIS.

Arthur: bro, when i first found out, i thought he was crazy.

Arthur: like. imagine being twenty and deciding “yeah, i’m gonna be a dad now.” insane behavior.

Arthur: but honestly? he’s so good at it.

Arthur: like. weirdly good.

Charles: HOW.

Arthur: idk man. some people are just meant to be parents.

Arthur: he’s just so patient with her. like, you know how nothing ever rattles him? that times a hundred.

Arthur: she threw a toy car at his head once and he just smiled and said “nice aim, Bee.”

Charles: ???

Arthur: i’m telling you. completely obsessed with that kid.

Arthur: also she calls him “Papa” and it’s the cutest thing ever.

Charles: I NEED TO LIE DOWN.

Arthur: is it because you’re old now.

Charles: I AM GOING TO END YOU.

Grid Group Chat

Charles: OSCAR.

Charles: I NEED ANSWERS RIGHT NOW.

Oscar: …About?

Lando: What did you do now.

Carlos: This feels serious.

Charles: DO YOU HAVE A CHILD???

Pierre: Excuse me?????

George: What.

Alex: No way.

Lando: WHAT?!?!

Fernando: Interesting.

Lewis: Oscar?

Oscar: Yeah.

Lando: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YEAH????

Lando: THAT’S NOT A CASUAL QUESTION.

Lando: “YEAH” IS NOT AN ACCEPTABLE ANSWER.

Carlos: Wait, what.

Daniel: Oh my god.

Pierre: BACK UP.

Charles: HOW DOES ARTHUR KNOW BEFORE ME???

Oscar: He met her.

Lando: HE MET HER???

Pierre: SHE EXISTS IN A FORM THAT CAN BE MET???

George: OSCAR.

Max: Is everyone going to keep screaming?

Charles: OSCAR YOU HAVE A CHILD AND NEVER TOLD US???

Oscar: No one asked.

Lando: OH I’M SO SORRY, LET ME JUST RANDOMLY ASK EVERYONE ON THE GRID IF THEY SECRETLY HAVE CHILDREN.

Alex: Three years, mate. You’ve had a kid for three years and never said a word?

Oscar: Yeah.

Pierre: I am STUNNED.

George: STUNNED.

Lando: LIKE ACTUALLY YOU HAVE A THREE-YEAR-OLD HUMAN CHILD????

Oscar: Yes, Lando.

Lando: I need to sit down.

Charles: WHY HAVE YOU NEVER BROUGHT HER TO A RACE.

Oscar: Because I promised my wife I wouldn’t buy her a kart until she’s five, and if I bring her to a race, that’s all she’ll want for her birthday.

Carlos: …She’s already obsessed, isn’t she.

Oscar: Oh, completely.

Oscar: She watches onboards for fun.

Pierre: Onboards.

Lando: WHAT THREE-YEAR-OLD WATCHES ONBOARDS????

Oscar: Mine.

Logan:  Bee is kinda obsessed lol

Lando: BEE?!?! HER NAME IS BEE?!?

Oscar: Beatrice. But we call her Bee. 

Oscar: She also gives commentary.

George: Commentary.

Oscar: Yeah. She said George is a bit too careful, but she respects it.

George: …Tell her I appreciate that.

Oscar: She thinks Alex is underrated.

Alex: Smart girl.

Oscar: She says Max and Charles are the fastest.

Charles: Oh, she has taste.

Max: A future World Champion.

Lando: WHO DOES SHE THINK I AM THEN????

Oscar: She says you talk too much.

Lando: I AM BEING BULLIED BY A TODDLER.

Oscar: And she also doesn’t understand why you always “let” Max pass you.

Max: I like her.

Lando: THIS IS CHARACTER ASSASSINATION.

Charles: I need to meet this child.

Max: Me too.

Fernando: Same.

Lewis: When’s she coming to the paddock?

Oscar: She’s not, because if she meets Max and Charles in person, I will not hear the end of it.

Charles: Oh, we have to meet her.

Lando: NOT UNTIL I WIN HER OVER.

Lando: WHO DOES SHE SUPPORT????

Oscar: She’s three, Lando.

Lando: THAT DOESN’T ANSWER MY QUESTION.

Oscar: She says she supports “everyone.”

Max: That’s diplomatic.

Charles: No, that’s suspicious.

Charles: Who does she really support?

Oscar: …She says she supports whoever wins.

Pierre: OH SHE’S A GLORY HUNTER.

Carlos: NO LOYALTY.

Alex: A ruthless fan. I respect it.

Lando: I AM SUFFERING.

Oscar: She does like McLaren. She just thinks Ferrari is “prettier.”

Charles: YES.

Carlos: This child has taste.

Lando: I AM LOSING TO FERRARI ON VIBES ALONE????

Oscar: Sounds like it.

George: This is all well and good, but I need to know—what does she think about you, Oscar?

Oscar: …

Lando: OH MY GOD.

Daniel: OH THIS IS GONNA BE GOOD.

Oscar: She says I’m her favorite after Max and Charles.

Charles: YES.

Max: Acceptable.

Oscar: But she also says I have the best helmet.

Fernando: That’s a win.

Lando: I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU HAVE A WHOLE SECRET DAUGHTER WHO BULLIES ME FROM AFAR.

Oscar: She doesn’t bully you.

Oscar: She just doesn’t understand why you let Max pass you all the time.

Max: A wise child.

Lando: I HATE IT HERE.

Charles: I demand a meeting.

Max: Me too.

Pierre: We’re all uncles now.

Lando: NO. NOT UNTIL SHE ACCEPTS ME.

Oscar: Good luck with that. She also says you sound funny when you yell.

Lando: I’M GONNA CRY.

Lando: I NEED A SECOND CHANCE.

Lando: I CAN WIN HER OVER.

Max: She sounds very intelligent.

Charles: Yes. Clearly, she has excellent judgment.

Lando: STOP SUCKING UP TO HER, YOU’RE ALREADY HER FAVORITE.

Carlos: So what does she think about the other drivers?

Oscar: Do you really want to know?

Pierre: Oh absolutely.

Fernando: I am prepared.

Oscar: Okay.

Oscar: She thinks George sounds like Peppa Pig.

George: …

Lewis: Oh my god.

Alex: OH THIS IS PERFECT.

Lando: WE WILL NEVER LET THIS GO.

George: I AM LOSING TO A CARTOON PIG.

Oscar: She heard you on the TV and asked why Peppa was driving a car.

Pierre: No, you ARE a cartoon pig.

Alex: This is the best day of my life.

George: I hate all of you.

Oscar: Moving on…

Oscar: She thinks Fernando is the “oldest driver ever.”

Charles: At least she knows the history of the sport.

Fernando: I’m taking that as a compliment.

Oscar: She also says Yuki is small and should be allowed to stand on the seat so he can see better.

Yuki: I AM NOT THAT SHORT.

Pierre: SHE SPEAKS THE TRUTH.

Oscar: Oh, and she likes Lewis because she likes his earrings.

Lewis: That is the only valid reason to like me.

Oscar: She also thinks you’re the boss of everyone.

Lewis: That is also true.

Lando: PLEASE TELL ME SHE HAS A TERRIBLE OPINION ABOUT CHARLES OR MAX.

Oscar: She thinks Charles crashes too much but is “really, really fast.”

Max: Accurate.

Oscar: And she says Max is “really good, but scary.”

Max: I am scary.

Charles: No, you just race like a maniac.

Oscar: She also thinks you and Carlos are best friends because you wear the same color.

Carlos: I am okay with this.

Lando: WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO LOSES HERE.

Oscar: Get better PR.

Oscar: She likes Daniel because she says his voice sounds happy.

Daniel: SHE IS SO REAL FOR THAT.

Charles: So she wants to race??

Oscar: Oh yeah. She watches all the onboards. She says the Red Bull looks "like a rocket ship," and McLaren is "super fast now," but Ferrari is "a little bit broken."

Carlos: You HAVE to bring her to a race.

Lando: Okay but actually. Do you think she’ll do karting?

Oscar: Yeah. Probably.

Oscar: She already yells “Lights out and away we go” when she runs down the hallway.

Fernando: Oh, she’s one of us.

Lando: She’s already got the spirit.

George: Unlike Lando.

Lando: I AM GOING TO FIGHT YOU.

Max: No, because you’ll lose.

Lando: I’M STILL PROCESSING. OSCAR HAS A WHOLE CHILD. A CHILD WHO GIVES HIM PERFORMANCE REVIEWS.

Oscar: Yeah, she told me my race suit is “not very pretty.”

Charles: What does she think of Max’s?

Oscar: “It’s blue. That’s okay.” She likes yours more, because Red is good. 

Charles: She has excellent taste.

Oscar: She also said, “You should win more too.”

Lando: Has she ever said that to Max?

Oscar: No, because she thinks he already wins enough.

Max: Wise.

George: What does she think about Mercedes?

Oscar: She likes the silver one better than the black one because “it’s shinier.”

Lewis: Fair.

Oscar: But she said, “It’s not as pretty as red.”

Oscar: She also thinks all our helmets should have “more animals and less boring stuff.”

Lando: SHE IS THE FUTURE OF THIS SPORT.

Oscar: Then she told me, “You need a koala on yours.”

Alex: That’s fair.

Lando: OKAY BUT DOES SHE HAVE ANY RACE STRATEGY OPINIONS.

Oscar: Of course.

Charles: Please share.

Oscar: The other day, I was watching a race replay, and she climbed onto the couch next to me, stared at the screen, and went, “Why are you still on those tires?”

Carlos: HAHAHA.

Oscar: And I said, “Because we haven’t pitted yet,” and she just shook her head and went, “That’s silly. You should get new ones now.”

Lando: SHE’S SO SMART.

Pierre: Does she understand tire compounds?

Oscar: She knows soft tires are fast, medium tires are okay, and hard tires are “boring and ugly.”

Charles: Honestly, she gets it.

Lando: NO BUT ACTUALLY DOES SHE HAVE THOUGHTS ON DRS.

Oscar: Oh, yeah. She calls it the “flappy thing.”

Pierre: I love her.

Oscar: She saw an onboard where I opened it, and she just went, “Oooooh, flappy thing makes you go fast.”

Max: I mean, she’s right.

Alex: Does she like overtakes?

Oscar: Yeah, but she only gets really excited when I do them. Otherwise, she just watches quietly and then claps if it looks cool.

Charles: Does she cheer for anyone else?

Oscar: One time, she saw you make a double overtake and went, “Ohhhhh, I like him.”

Carlos: Betrayal.

Oscar: She likes you too, don’t worry. But I think she just thought that move was cool.

Carlos: I suppose I will allow it.

George: Oscar, have you explained to her why Lando hasn’t won yet?

Oscar: Not really. I just told her, “It’s really hard to win in F1,” and she thought about it for a second and went, “Not for Max.”

Max: HAHAHA.

Charles: She is actually too smart.

Lando: I AM BEING DRAGGED BY A TODDLER WHO DOESN’T EVEN KNOW HER OWN LAST NAME YET.

Oscar: She does know her last name, actually.

Lando: GOOD FOR HER. I’M STILL SUFFERING.

Carlos: Has she asked why you haven’t won a race either, Oscar?

Oscar: No.

Pierre: WHY NOT??

Oscar: I think she assumes I’m too busy taking care of her.

George: Honestly, fair.

Lando: I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE A DAD.

Oscar: Believe it.

Lando: I CAN’T. AND NOW I’M GOING TO HAVE AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS BECAUSE YOUR TINY CHILD THINKS I’M BAD AT MY JOB.

Oscar: She didn’t say you were bad. Just that you haven’t won yet.

Lando: SAME THING.

Oscar: It’s okay, Lando. I’ll tell her you’re trying your best.

Lando: STOPPIT.

Lando: NO ACTUALLY I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS. WHAT ELSE HAS SHE SAID.

Oscar: What do you mean?

Lando: I MEAN ABOUT F1. ABOUT ME. ABOUT YOU. ABOUT ANYTHING. I NEED TO KNOW HOW BADLY A THREE-YEAR-OLD HAS DRAGGED ME BEHIND THE VIRTUAL SAFETY CAR.

Oscar: Well, she’s got a lot of opinions.

Charles: What kind of opinions?

Oscar: She has told me she doesn’t like safety cars because they’re “boring,” and that red flags are annoying because she has to wait.

Max: I respect it.

Oscar: But she does like when there’s a big crash because she gets to say, “Uh oh!”

Lando: NO BECAUSE IMAGINE YOU BIN IT AND YOU HEAR A TINY LITTLE “UH OH” OVER THE RADIO.

Max: I would retire.

Oscar: She also said if I ever win a race, she wants to do the shoey with me.

Lando: THAT’S HORRIBLE. DON’T LET HER DO THAT.

Oscar: Felicity already said no.

Lando: Good. I’m still recovering from the fact that you have a whole wife and a daughter.

Oscar: You’ll be fine.

Lando: WILL I.

Oscar: No.

Lando: GREAT.

Lando: I’M NOT OVER IT.

Carlos: We know.

Lando: YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER.

Oscar: I do.

Lando: A WHOLE DAUGHTER.

Oscar: That is usually how it works.

Lando: YOU NEVER TOLD ME.

Oscar: You never asked.

Lando: WHO ASKS, “HEY, DO YOU SECRETLY HAVE A WHOLE TODDLER?”

Charles: I might start.

Lando: I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS.

Oscar: It’s not that big of a deal.

Lando: NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL???

Oscar: She’s just a tiny person.

Lando: A TINY PERSON WHO WATCHES F1 AND HAS OPINIONS.

Oscar: Correct.

Lando: I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS.

Pierre: Bro, breathe.

Lando: NO.