#screaming crying throwing up part 2

[shysheeperz]

[huyaoxiaozi]

       ❝You haven't asked me what happened, Matt,❞ Zane insisted with the name, ignoring his words — that wasn't fucking true and they both knew damn well. ❝You told me what Xiao Dan said happened, but you haven't asked me. Not fucking once.❞

       He turned to look back at Matt, further ignoring the unbearable pain in the chest at the sight of him on the ground, his fingers dragging through his hair. It was difficult to remain furious — the corners of his eyes stung and he swallowed thickly, squeezing his eyes shut briefly.

       All this time, Matt had blindly believed that he'd simply abandoned him, that he hadn't loved him so fiercely that he hadn't stopped thinking about him, not once, even after all these years. Zane would be long dead, just as Xiao Dan had wanted, if it weren't for Matt.

       ❝I'm the one who lived it, survived it, although fucking barely. I think you haven't asked because you're scared about what you'll hear, scared that you'll stare into my eyes and see that I'm telling the truth. What will you do, if you learn that your grandfather, your precious clan, did something unforgivable? How could you cope with that? ❞

       Zane let out another ragged breath — he still kept a close eye on the exits, even though they certainly still had plenty of time before the usual two hours was up. With a painful tenderness, he continued. ❝Ask me what happened and I'll tell you. I didn't leave by choice and Xiao Dan made sure I couldn't say anything to anyone, including you — I couldn't even say goodbye. If you want to keep believing I'd just up and abandon you without so much as a word, then go ahead, but ... if you actually want to know the truth, ask me.❞

       He stood there motionless, waiting. Say something, he begged Matt silently. Ask me what happened. Please, ask me. Zane was exhausted, too — exhausted of this rift between them, this misunderstanding that Xiao Dan had wedged there on purpose. He didn't want to fight anymore, he wanted to tell Matt everything.

       More than anything, he wanted Matt to believe him. Zane dropped his gaze before quietly adding, ❝I would have stayed with you, if I'd been given the choice. No question, no hesitation. That's all I'd ever wanted.❞

 "Congratulations, you've successfully learned how to surveil someone and their surroundings. Yes, all of those things are indeed true and accurate." Not that any of that changed things. His statements still held true—Zane was a fool for remaining in dangerous enemy territory. It didn't matter that he knew where the exits were, or just how many men were tasked with keeping an eye on him. All it took was one brief moment for someone to see him, to recognize him. Things could happen in the blink of an eye, no matter how well prepared you were. Long Zhi knew that one from experience.

 For the entirety of Zane's speech, Long Zhi remained silent. In part, because he was unsure what exactly to say, and in part because it made him seethe internally. Why exactly, he wasn't too sure. Was it because Zane had no right to speak on things he had no idea about, or was it because he could potentially be right with the things he said? 

 No. No, he couldn't be right. He wasn't right. What the hell did he know about anything? He'd never been a part of the clan, never had to live up to—and fail—expectations. Long Zhi knew what awaited him if he'd failed again, and yet he still lied to protect Zane. If he hadn't been such a failure so many times before, the punishment wouldn't have been this severe. He had no one else to thank but himself. That was it. He was the heir to this empire, expectations should be high for him. Why should they be content with an incompetent leader? Why should Xiao Dan be content with handing off his empire he had built from the ground up to someone who didn't deserve it? He didn't need Zane to understand; he didn't need anyone to understand. 

 The sudden coughing fit, or whatever this was, did briefly worry him. But that worry didn't last for long and was instead replaced with anger at Zane's words. Long Zhi was now fighting to keep his calm, to keep up this carefully crafted mask he'd learned to hide behind over the years. It was the only security blanket he had, the only defense to keep him safe. 

 But that mask cracked the second Zane's shoulder met his own. He spun around, shaking with barely contained anger now. "Stop fucking acting as though you care, Zi Xin! You fucking left! You disappeared without a fucking word and left me behind, wondering what I did wrong. Wondering what I did to not only push you away, but betray me as though I never meant anything to you! Now you come back, acting all high and mighty, as though you're better than my own clan, my own family? At least they never abandoned me. Yeah, they might be a bit tough. Yeah, their methods might not be... completely right, but they work. They make me stronger, tougher." Less me. "I don't expect you to understand. But stop acting as though you're better than them when they could never hurt me the way you have."

 Suddenly, he felt tired, exhausted. As though it all came crashing down on him now. Turning around, he once again made his way back to the dummy, even if he wasn't entirely sure how he'd muster the energy to continue. For now, although aware of the possible consequences, he let himself drop on the ground, and ran his hand through his hair. "And stop calling me Matt. Matt died the day you left."

[hinamie]

the same flame that burns you; birthed you first

p1

[lostloveletters]

“What happened to your first wife?” Her curiosity was slaughtered the moment she asked. Looking into his eyes suddenly felt like being dragged to the second circle of hell. (Bruised Fruit, Chapter 7)

Thank you so much @cheesy-cryptid for your incredible work on this! You captured the gothic horror vibes perfectly and really brought Michael and Gloria to life🖤

[lauronk]

if anyone needs me i’ll be in the corner sobbing

[fawnforevergone]

ready to have my life changed at midnight once again

[meltingangels]

[havingagayoldtimeoverhere]

Am I the only one who thinks Seattle Ellie Williams is the most attractive out of all of her looks in TLOU2???? Ik a lot of people say Santa Barbara Ellie is the hottest and I can slightly agree but LOOK AT HER HERE.

[abbysthighs]

I wish Ellie hadn't left Dina. But if she hadn't, Abby and Lev would be dead.

[insideyourimagination]

i am genuinely unwell after seeing the closeup of his tattoos.

pics from @ catquinn on tiktok

[abitcaughtinthemiddle]

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PART 2 PROMO

[amtrak12]

THERE'S FIC TOO?????????? :O

Also before I have surgery next week, someone remind me to take screencaps of SVU because I want to make a crack post about all of Alex Cabot's ex-wives, ex-girlfriends, and current girlfriends (aka every other female attorney who ever appeared in the first 5 seasons).

[fruchox]

I don’t want eleven. I miss ten. I miss my doctor. He’s only been gone for a few minutes, the credits only just started. I want my doctor back.

He didn’t want to go.

This is me. Only with way more tears.

HE DIDNT WANT TO GO I DONT WANT HIM TO GO GIVE HIM BACK DAMN YOU

[havingagayoldtimeoverhere]

Guys she’s so gf

[wow-wow-wubbsy]

[andi-o-geyser]

BABE WAKE UP NEW HOZIER JUST DROPPED (i am so so normal)