#says that she absolutely thinks I’m autistic
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
My mom: I don’t think you’re autistic stop saying that
Also my mom, repeatedly: stop doing that what the fuck is wrong with you
#see her issue is that her frame of reference for autism is my sister#who was diagnosed at age like 6 because of developmental delays and behavioral issues#so her idea of autism is based on my sister’s inability to function ‘typically’#whereas I am functional aka was drawn to acting because I could practice social situations#and did well in school because of perfectionism and anxiety#but I cannot complete care tasks for myself or interact with people my own age#and then the anxiety and sensory issues and stimming and impulse control is where it really gets bad#she yells what the fuck are you doing when I’m stimming#but my actually diagnosed autistic sister who is living in an assisted living facility with other autistic adults#says that she absolutely thinks I’m autistic
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
first, im a bit new to cod but idk…
thinking about ghost’s spouse visiting him on base or some shit, and everyone else wondering how tf he was emotionally flexible enough to bag a bad bitch 🫶
note: this is just my personal little fantasy world headcanon lol so take it with a grain of salt!
Simon maintains a vaguely human lifestyle by adhering to one very strict rule: rigid compartmentalization. You don’t come up at work, and work doesn’t come up around you. Never the twain shall meet, he thinks. And he’s not exactly a watershed of information when he’s with his mates. And it’s not like anyone is asking “When was the last time you got fucked, Ghost?” and seriously expecting a response.
He tells you about the crew, but not about what he does with them. Killing, espionage, torture– that kind of thing stays off the dinner table.
Let it be known that you do not surprise him at work. You respect his boundaries too much, which is why he’s so fucking serious about you, honestly. He calls, asking if you can run something to him. This is maybe the greatest symbol of trust he can bestow, as a man who has only a fraction of an existence in the eyes of the government: he asks you to bring a document of his. He gives you the instructions on how to find it, and trusts that you won’t look at anything you don’t have to.
You know Johnny lets out a low whistle when he sees you coming up with a manilla folder in your hands.
“Who’s that bloody bombshell, then?”
You spy Simon and jog up to him with a smile. He’s the one who embraces you, short but strong. Cue the nigh audible gasping.
“LT, you absolute dog.”
Simon rolls his eyes as the two of you are crowded in short order. You make polite introductions, but have a previous engagement– you really did only have time to stop by.
Hate to see you go, but love to watch you leave.
Everyone is wondering how this could’ve happened. For the record– I think in this scenario, Johnny and Gaz go through a constant string of heartbreaks, and John is kinda married to his job. So in a cruel twist of fate, Simon is actually the only one currently with a partner, much less a spouse.
“How’d you manage to bag a right beauty like that, LT? C’mon, spill it–”
Simon doesn’t mean to diminish your value or anything, but his answer is not going to be satisfying, because he doesn’t find it that difficult to get women. And also, you’re his true love, so you’re perfect for each other and growing close to you was as easy as breathing. But he doesn’t say that.
“S’not that hard. Remember the stuff she says, don’t keep no secrets… dick ‘er down the way she likes.” He doesn’t mean to be crude about it, but from his perspective, is one of the main reasons why you tolerate him. Soap howls at the response.
He’s telling the truth, though! He has a scarily good memory. Remembers every friend you’ve ever told him about, every movie you’ve ever mentioned, every meal he’s cooked for you and how you liked it. He remembers dates, times, and lists with no issue whatsoever.
And he’s never kept anything from you. He tells you how the fuck he’s feeling, and you return the favor, even if it isn’t pleasant. The only thing he doesn’t mention to you are the gorey details of his work.
And you have never had more of a communicative partner, ironically. There were times in the beginning when he didn’t know all of the ins and outs of coaxing pleasure from your body, so he asked you to show him how you like it. And that scary memory is at work yet again– every sensitive spot, every offhand mention of a kink you’ve not yet explored together, every arch of your spine and clench of your cunt. He’s got it down to a science. Could write novels about making love to you specifically.
What I’m trying to say, at the end of the day, is that Ghost bagged a bad bitch by being autistic.
906 notes
·
View notes
Text
“Autism isn’t a disability”, “it’s just a difference”.
I am of lower support needs. I hold down a (part time) job. I have travelled around my home country. I live alone.
At work they complain about my speech. I’m too quiet, they say, “barely audible” is the words used at my autism assessment. My voice is all monotone, and it needs to be more expressive. I get this complaint every week for a year straight, until my manager gives up. I don’t attend trainings because I forget and find it overwhelming anyways. My coworkers form friendships, and I watch them talk, wondering how they make it look so easy. I get a new manager, I tell her I find the work socials too overwhelming to attend. She tells me I can just say I don’t want to come. I don’t know how to tell her that I desperately want to, to be like the rest of my coworkers, instead of constantly being the one sat on the sidelines.
I come home, and I can hear my neighbours again. The niggling background noise messes with my head, and I meltdown; I throw myself on the floor, I hit my head on the ground repeatedly as I scream and cry, tear out my hair and scratch my arms and face. When I complain, people tell me that I just have to accept that neighbours make noise, that I should just ignore it, or block it out. I am the problem, the one overreacting. I put in earplugs and it hurts and I'm crying again. I wear headphones but I can't handle the noise for that long.
I have reminders set for everything. Every chore, no matter how big or small. My phone beeps at me, reminding me that I need to wash the dishes. If I don't go now, then tick the little box on my phone to say I did it, it won't get done. My home is almost always a mess despite this. It's not just chores either. I won't think to wash, dress myself, brush my teeth or hair, without those reminders. And unless someone actively prompts me to do so, I will do those tasks "wrong". I haven't changed my underwear in a month, and I'm currently aware that's a problem, but within the hour I'm going to forget all over again until I'm next prompted.
I can't sleep without medication - it's not unusual for autistic people to have messed up circadian rhythms. Without my medication it's hard to even tell when I'm awake and when I'm asleep. When I was younger and at school I slept through so many lessons, and when I have my mandatory breaks from my sleep meds I sleep through every alarm I set. I want to work full time some day, and I'm terrified of what my sleep issue will mean for me then.
I don't travel independently. I don't travel anywhere alone, always with someone or to someone. If to someone, I have assistance the whole way. I find it embarrassing sometimes. Yes, I have a job that requires a certain level of intelligence. No, I cannot get on a train by myself. If I am not shown To The Train, To My Seat, I will be unable to travel.
Last time I travelled, I was left alone at the station for ten minutes. I stayed rigid and sobbed the whole time. I was overwhelmed. It was too loud, I didn't know where I was or where I was meant to be going, and until the assistance person came back I couldn't do anything because for some reason I cannot understand it.
I spend a lot of time trying to explain to people that despite my relative competence, I am unable to do many things. Why can I understand high level maths but not how to get on a damn train? No fucking idea.
"Autism isn't a disability" most severely affects those with higher support needs, and this is absolutely not to take away from them. But for fucks sake, autism is disabling.
Maybe you personally are extremely lucky and just find you're a little "socially awkward", or just find some textures painful or nauseating. Maybe you would be fine with just a couple of adjustments.
But for a lot of us, even lower support needs autistics, it doesn't work like that. I will never sleep properly without medication. I still have the self-harming type of meltdowns as an adult, over things that are deemed as being "just part of life". I live alone but have daily visits from family - if I'm left fully alone I forget all the little daily things one is "meant" to do. I had speech therapy as a child to get me to the "barely audible" "mostly correct" speech. I don't mask, I'm not really sure how I would to begin with.
I'm not unhappy with being autistic. It's just who I am. Life would be easier if I were neurotypical, but I also wouldn't be me. I just wish those luckier than me could...stop saying it's all chill and not at all a disability.
Because yes, socially, I am "awkward". I obviously don't make eye contact - I stare down and to the side of whoever I speak to. People think it's weird or creepy or a sign of disinterest. My autism assessor wrote down about how I often use words and phrases that don't make sense to others, even though they make perfect sense to me. In my daily life this means I'm frequently misunderstood, and have to try explain what I mean, when what I mean is exactly what I said, and the true issue is that what I mean just doesn't make sense to others. I gesture, at times, but again, my gestures apparently don't make sense in relation to what I'm saying. I take things literally, I have almost no filter, and I can't explain how I go from topic to topic.
And yes, I do have sensory problems. Sometimes people, including others with sensory problems, tell me that "sometimes sensory issues have to be tolerated", and I wonder what they think of as being sensory issues. I'm sure they do struggle, but if I say I can't handle a touch, I mean you will need to forcefully hold it against me for me to touch it more than a second and it will make me meltdown. If I say "I can't eat that", I mean that I am unable to swallow it, that I will gag and choke and inevitably spit it back out, as much as I try. If I say I can't handle a noise, I mean I'm so close to a meltdown and my meltdowns are a problem for everyone around me.
But yes. Autism. Not a disability. Just a fun quirky difference.
1K notes
·
View notes
Note
hi there!!! I love your blog!!! I know you’re mainly a Chilchuck girlie, but I saw that you occasionally do Laios headcanons/drabbles, and I’m a massive Laios simp. if you have the time and inclination, would you maybe write about Laios realizing he’s falling for a reader who is also autistic like he is? and they’re both so in love with each other, but they don’t realize it bc they’re both idiots, so the party has to set them up lmao
OBLIVIOUS (IN MY LOVE FOR YOU).
꒰ warnings: ꒱ mutual pining, hopelessly in love silly guys, gn!reader. sfw as always!
꒰ wc: ꒱ 1.3k
✦ i hope this turned out how you wanted it!!! i felt bad that i’ve been doing so much chil and nothing for the others, so i was happy that you sent this request!! i’m not sure how to feel about this, but i’m happy to get something out for you!!! <333 honestly i’m worried this turned out badly, but alas, i feel that way about everything asdfdhgjhk. enjoy lovely!!!!
It was more than obvious to anyone but the two of you, much to the party’s displeasure. The mutual pining between you had been a constant back and forth for what felt like ages, and it was almost humorous how in denial it seemed you were.
Laios always spent time chatting with you before bed, his soft voice carrying so much warmth. You always noted how fuzzy your head felt whenever he’d talk about something he was especially interested in. It was almost heartbreaking to part with him to finally rest, longing to continue the conversation for as long as you could.
Little did the two of you know that the rest of the party had their eyes on you, tired sighs leaving each of them. This was every night now, and the fact neither of you were making an effort to come to terms and admit what you were feeling was beginning to become tiresome.
Chilchuck huffed, head in the palm of his hand. “I can’t believe that this is still going on. I’m tired of it.”
Marcille tutted, but the frustration at both of your ignorances was seeping through. “There’s got to be something we can do. They’re obviously so in love with each other...”
And right she was, with how absolutely enamored Laios had become. He’d never felt this way about anyone, the feeling seeping into his bones slowly but surely. With every smile you gave him, words of encouragement, or even reassuring touches, you made yourself at home in his mind and heart. Laios was content with just the whispered conversations and adventures together, not quite piecing together the entire situation just yet.
Marcille was not so sure that was something to be content with. Izutsumi was also getting fed up with the constant beating around the bush, and Chilchuck was sick and tired of watching this ordeal occur. The three of them had decided that enough was enough, and through gossip-like whispers, they decided on a course of action.
“I’ll try and talk to Laios,” Chilchuck settled, although he wasn’t entirely happy with the idea of helping an inner party relationship unfold. It was even harder to watch the two of you continuously pine after each other blindly, so he chose what he believed was the lesser of two evils. “You two convince you-know-who to get some one on one time with him somehow.”
Marcille hummed, finger tapping her chin. “Maybe we could get Senshi to cook something up just for the two of them, get them on a date of some sort.”
Izutsumi flicked her tail in annoyance at this entire scenario, before giving her own opinion. “Let’s just get them stuck in a trap or something.” At that, the elf across from her shook her head adamantly.
“Although that might work another time, I think setting them up would work best. We’ll all conveniently go off somewhere and leave the two of them to talk it out. Somehow…”
Thankfully, it wasn’t hard to get the two of you alone together. Laios would explain something about a monster your party had encountered earlier, delighted at your interest in anything he had to say. Before he knew it, the rest of the party had excused themselves after dinner, leaving just you and him with a cooked meal and unsaid words hanging in the air.
Even earlier, Chilchuck had decided to try and drill it into Laios’ skull that perhaps coming to terms and admitting what he was feeling wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Grasping for straws, Laios tried to create excuses that what he felt for you was just that of a close friend. There was no way he was falling in love, right? Yet, the look Chilchuck had given him shut him up quickly.
“You think friends just look at each other with that lovesick face you’re always making? And it’s not exactly hard to see just how much you care about them. It’s actually pretty obvious.” The half-foot grit out, floored that Laios still hadn’t figured out just how deeply he had fallen.
Marcille and Izutsumi had a similar problem with you, finding that you were convinced what you felt was just that of a deep friendship, of course you weren’t actually absolutely smitten with the man. Giving each other a knowing look, Marcille continued her prodding.
“I think there’s more to this,” the way she said your name so softly held your attention. “You need to talk with him. Maybe talk through just what you’re feeling.”
So now, as you took another bite of your dinner, you tried to figure out just what you were feeling. Laios was doing the same, and the silence, which was never a problem before, now hung with tension.
Both of you tried to speak, before signaling the other to continue, before giving a light laugh at the awkwardness. It wasn’t that just being in each other’s company was the problem, but more so that there was so much left unsaid.
Laios ran his hand through his hair, giving you that tender smile you had come to love so much. “You first.”
Another laugh left you, before your current train of thought followed through your words. “So I was wondering… Have you ever been in love before, Laios?”
That caught him off guard, swallowing hard before thinking of the right thing to say. “Well… I, uh…” A beat of silence followed as you let him find his words. “I wasn’t sure before today. What about you?”
Trying not to get your hopes up, or have the flame within you extinguished so easily, you smiled. “Same here, actually. I think…” You trailed off, just staring at his rosy cheeks and intent gaze making your heartbeat a little faster. Setting your plate to the side, you bit your tongue for a moment. Talk through what you’re feeling… You can do that.
“I guess I didn’t really realize, but… Lately, I’ve been really eager to be around you.” Your voice tried to fight back the tremors rising within you. Before you could continue, Laios grabbed your hand and gave you that intent expression again.
“Me too! I mean, I always really enjoy our talks. I look forward to them a lot.” He spoke a tad out of breath, trying to reign in how he was feeling. Another beat of silence, followed by the clearing of his throat.
“I think I’m in love with you.” You both muttered at the same time, before the feeling of both shock and excitement coursed through you. There was… no possible way, right? But with that doting smile and lovesick gaze he was sending your way, you began to think he did feel the same.
“Thank the gods,” you whispered, a huff of relief leaving your lips. “I had to have Marcille and Izutsumi make me realize.”
Laios laughed, cheeks flushed with delight. “Yeah, Chilchuck definitely gave me a talking to. I think Senshi tried to help me realize, too. It was definitely interesting.”
Both of you shared light giggles before Laios gently pulled you into an embrace. You wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders, nuzzling into his neck.
“Sorry it took me so long.” He whispered, inhaling deeply, the air leaving him in a content sigh. Your eyes fluttered shut, shaking your head slightly in reply. “No need. That’d mean I’d need to apologize too.”
You pressed sweet kisses to his cheek, to his nose, to his forehead. Laios beamed, intertwining your fingers as he spoke from the heart just what he had been trying to come to terms with. You did your best to do so, too.
Chilchuck, Marcille, Senshi, and Izutsumi all let out sounds of relief at watching the two of you around the corner. Getting both of you to finally realize the extent of your feelings was difficult, but oh so worth it in the end.
“Finally,” Chilchuck grumbled, before scratching the back of his neck. “That only took, what? Forever?”
Senshi grunted, trying to recall just how long it had been. Izutsumi even watched as Marcille rocked back and forth on her feet, a certain sparkle in her eye.
She’d have to get the two of you to be open more often.
— dividers by @/cafekitsune!! <33
#⟡ lilia writes! 🌿#HOPING THIS IS OKAY WAUGH#HOLDS MY HEAD IN MY HANDS#writing for laios is harder for me for some reason????#falls to my knees. anyways#ENJOY!!!! WAHHH <33::#for the laios lovers here’s a fluff for u#delicious in dungeon x reader#dunmeshi x reader#dungeon meshi x reader#laios touden x reader#laios x reader
916 notes
·
View notes
Text
YJ meets C.C.
This is the Young Justice edition of my JL meets C.C. post from a super long time ago.
So basically, like their adult counterparts, the YJ went back in time too. Marvel explicitly warned them multiple times not to goof off too much in the mysterious laboratory, but no, someone happened to goof off too much which caused a time machine to somehow activate and here they were now. They were kinda just wandering around trying to find out where they were. They’re just thankful they were in civilian clothes when the accident happened.
M’gann: *bumps into C.C.*
Marilyn: “Watch where you’re going, bitch.”
And that was how the YJ met a teenage C.C. and Marilyn. Both of which were kinda assholes in high school, think mean girls, but somehow they became the sweetest people ever when they became adults. Here were a collection of incidents between them all.
Other YJ: “You go!” *push Connor forward*
Conner: *begrudgingly walks over to where C.C., Marilyn, and a couple other kids are sitting for lunch* “Uh… hi.”
C.C.: “Hi?” *looks Conner up and down* “Can we help you?”
Conner: “Uhhhhhh…”
C.C.: *stares for a solid few seconds* “Are you autistic?”
Conner: “No?”
C.C.: “You seem like it.”
*silence*
C.C.: *grins* “You know, you should totally sit with us.”
And that was how Conner got accepted into the group. Was it for being autistic or was it for a different reason? He doesn’t know.
or
C.C.: “Hey, you.” *jogs over*
Kaldur: “Yes?”
C.C.: “You’re gonna join the swim team, right?”
Kaldur: “I don’t plan to.”
C.C.: “But don’t you have gills, fish boy?”
Kaldur: “Fish boy?”
C.C.: “I’m not even gonna ask if your mom fucked a fish, I just really want you to join. So just think about it, okay?”
Kaldur: *rethinking everything he thought he knew about Cap*
C.C.: “Oh and by the way if you don’t join, I will tell everybody about the gills. Just in case that wasn’t clear.”
As for why he wanted Kaldur to join the swim team? C.C. was on it. Because I say so.
or
C.C.: *sleeping in class*
Marilyn: *drawing on her boyfriend’s hand*
Kid Flash: *notices and tries to wake him up* “Dude, you’re gonna miss this.”
C.C.: *slaps his hand away* “Fuck off, ginger. I have straight A’s in this class.” *goes right back to sleep*
or
Robin and Artemis: *talking while walking*
C.C. and Marilyn: *walking while talking, Marilyn trips Artemis*
Artemis: *falls* “What the hell?”
Marilyn: “My bad.” *smiles*
Artemis: “Your bad? You did that on purpose.”
Marilyn: “No I didn’t.” (She absolutely did)
Artemis: “Yes you did.”
C.C.: “No, she didn’t.” (Again, she did) “Honestly, even if she did, you deserve it for being so annoying about an accident.”
Robin: “That’s not sound reasoning at all…”
When they all got back, they all saw the Cap in a new light. They also all had so many questions?? Like is he still dating that Marilyn chick? Cap isn’t an asshole anymore, so what happened to make him change? Does he actually think some of the things he said about them??
Also, during their short time together C.C., actually did like Conner, he was the like one person out of the YJ C.C. and Marilyn actually liked and weren’t being assholes to.
#billy batson#shazam#dc captain marvel#captain marvel dc#fawcett city#fawcett#fawcett comics#marilyn batson#cc batson
379 notes
·
View notes
Note
saints! penny for your thoughts on evan(s) 🙏
i didn’t see the appeal of them but it took one (1) hockey au and now they own me. yapping under cut
the fundamental axis on which evans(s) revolves is how evan rosier initially comes across as strange, and lonely, and prodigiously talented, and a little sad— perhaps in exactly the way that a young severus might have, when lily first decided she wanted to befriend him. except unlike severus, THIS boy is golden-headed and ridiculously gorgeous and has the most startling amber eyes. and he ACTUALLY doesn’t need other people, or her approval, the way that severus only pretends not to.
i think lily blinds herself to evan's darker, more unsettling aspects and finds herself wanting his approval. the idea of a dedicated, independent genius who only cares about his field of study (be it medicine, or potions, or whatever) and lets nothing ruffle him ever is HIGHLY appealing & aspirational to lily <- this isnt necessarily an accurate picture of evan but its how she initially sees him
it's the teeny crush that people headcanon a younger lily as having on remus but this time more serious & as an adult. lily likes how carefully he folds his napkins. she likes that he’s a hypochondriac who carries around alcohol wipes & wrinkles his nose & doesn’t say anything unless he absolutely NEEDS to. she likes how meticulously he micromanages his schedule.
but also she DISLIKES his iciness and the way he views other people. she dislikes how genuinely impossible it is to become close to him. he is such a belligerent autistic freak that he can't find it in himself to even slightly modulate his tone to sound less dead when talking to her. except lily takes this as a Challenge, and the only person on earth wholly charming enough to throw evan off his axis is the Perfect Girl Who Everyone Has Had A Crush On Throughout Her Entire Life.
it's the guy who likes to play God & the girl who has essentially lived her life as God's Favorite Angel. and evan thinks she's the most fascinating, inexplicable outlier of a thing that he finds himself continuously showing these silent little gestures of affection & contrition that TOTALLY throw him off his axis. yes, she can sit beside me. yes, i’m slipping my hand into hers (what is happening to me???)
idk i tend to see them as one of those unlikely duos that eats lunch on the stairwell together when they don't have anybody else. they would fall extremely quickly into friendship and instigate several private personality crises in each other that do NOT stop them from sending very corporate texts at each other ("Hello" "Hello - Are you well?" "I am well - How about you?") that they're both furiously blushing over in the privacy of their rooms. and they would talk the craziest shit about other people together.
anyway everyone please ask me about olympics au forever
#a#olympics au#<- WE’RE SO FUCKING BACK#beth im so obsessed with your evan thoughts. you have been doing such revolutionary work over there#foursaints art tag#Evan(s)#lilyrosekiller
151 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi!! I have a one shot request (I hope I’m in the right place lmao)
What about a autistic (fem)reader who is super smart and seems to notice things about the case that the others haven’t and every time she tries to state her thoughts a rude sherif cuts her off/infantilising her and Emily defends her
Honestly my brain stopped at the thought of Emily, I need more of her 😔🫶
-anon ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ
fem plus size autistic!reader, wc: 517.
a/n: i have had this finished but sitting in my drafts because i was too lazy to post it, but here it is! i hope that i was able to capture what you were looking for right! :] this can either be read as platonic or romantic!
cw! asshole elders :/
You have been spoken over and shut down for the past hour, twenty minutes, and thirty seconds.
You hated being silenced, but one thing that trumps that was being infantilized. You worked hard to get where you were now, and you hated being treated like a child just because your way of thinking was different from your peers.
You have saved thousands of people and you’ll be damned if you continue to be treated like this.
“If you look closely, you can see that the area that these women were killed in must hold some kind of sentimental meaning to our unsub.” You grab the black marker and go to draw the inevitable triangle on the printed out map before you’re stopped by the sheriff.
“Hold it now, sweetheart. Don’t just go markin’ up stuff.”
“I beg your pardon?” You ask with furrowed eyebrows.
“I’m sure the area these women were killed in was just pure coincidence, so we don’t wanna risk coloring in the paper just ‘cause you think you know somethin’.” He spoke as if he knew more than you did like he was the one with the degree, his tone absolutely rolling in condescension.
“I’m sorry but –” You try to say but the old fart cuts you off. “I’m sure you are –”
“Excuse me, sheriff, but I’m afraid Special Agent _______ made a great point.” Emily was quick to come to your aide, emphasizing the words ‘Special Agent’ just to reinforce her point.
You could see it in her narrowed eyes, and everyone else’s really, that she was about done with the Sheriff’s embarrassingly large ego. You send her an appreciative – albeit shy – smile, and she gets up, her eyes trained on the map as well.
“She’s right, because if you look here,” She points to the first crime scene and motions for you to draw a mark. “And here,” Her finger trails down to the second location and you follow close behind. “And here.” Her path finally ends, and so does your black ink.
There it was, just like you had first thought, a perfect triangle connecting them all.
“The most important thing should be right –” You finish her words and color in a big circle in the middle. “Here.” Emily sends you a proud look and it threatens to weaken your knees.
“I mean… I suppose that makes sense.” The man grumbled before leaving with his tail between his legs.
“Thank you.” You say quietly. The conversation was meant to be kept between the two of you. Of course you loved and trusted everyone on your team, but Emily was your comfort person, and she made time to understand you.
“No problem,” She responds back. “Everyone was done with his shit anyway.”
“Still, thank you.” You pressed the conversation, because you don’t really think she realized the gravity of the situation, of your appreciation.
For most of your life you had never been given a voice, and having someone stick up for you and even paving the way for you to make your point known was something that no gratitude could give.
#✰ ― meau's inbox !#emily x reader#emily prentiss x reader#emily x fem!reader#emily prentiss x fem reader#emily fanfiction#emily prentiss fanfiction#emily prentiss#emily prentiss angst#emily prentiss fluff#emily prentiss x plus size reader#plus size reader#x plus size reader#plus size!reader#chubby reader#x chubby reader#fanfiction#fluff#angst#girlfriend emily prentiss#emily prentiss imagine#emily prentiss oneshot#emily prentiss drabble#emily prentiss blurb#emily cm#emily prentiss cm#emily criminal minds#emily prentiss criminal minds#cm#criminal minds
222 notes
·
View notes
Text
the tortured poets department
Info Post
Moodboards
Part I
Prev Post < - > Next Post
TW: This chapter contains physical violence, bullying towards neurodivergent/autistic people, vi being a biiiit of a dick, and jinx just being a chaotic mess (we love her)
WC: 4.5k
Part III
bad blood
“Can you read mine?” I blurted out once I returned to the full table where Jinx was scanning through her cards once more. My hands and cheeks were probably as red as rubies as I took my seat, and hoped to actually stay in it for a while this time.
“I can, but just so you know I am simply a messenger and if the cards need to call you out then they will.” She explained with a clearly targeted scowl towards Ellie.
“You’re into this kind of thing?” Vi wondered with a soft nudge of my foot underneath the table as she was already lounging back against the couch.
“A little, yeah.” I shrugged simply before turning back towards Jinx with a small flush on my cheeks. “Go ahead, I’m ready to be called out.”
“Excellent.” Jinx grinned in a way that I could only describe as maniacal as she whipped out a lighter and a bundle of what looked like dried grass squeezed together with twine.
“Ummm, aren’t you not supposed to have an open flame in here?” Ellie chirped almost anxiously from her spot.
“Geez, you guys really are so tense. Why don’t you take a breath?” An unfamiliar voice chimed in from across the table immediately causing Ellie’s head to pop up in the direction of the girl that had spoke. Dina, I believed is what her name was tossed back her long black hair over her shoulder. “Jinx has only blown up a couple of things anyways.”
“That is an absolutely wild thing to say.” Ellie enunciated in what could almost be read as horror. “You understand how that’s an absolutely wild thing to say right?”
“Relax, you’re not supposed to have a lot of things in here. Firearms, explosives, the weed Vi has stashed in her bag and what she’s definitely going to smoke later.” Jinx drawled on as she expertly blew out the flame sparked on the bunched up grass before letting the smoke envelop the tarot deck with ease.
“What the hell, dude! Be a little bit quieter whenever you say that!” Vi voiced with a mild groan.
“You can shuffle, in any way you want.” Jinx responded without a care in the world as she passed the deck off towards me.
“Okay… cool.” I spoke, retrieving my frostbitten and clearly shaking hands from my pockets.
“Mills, you look like you’re freezing, do you want this?” Ellie questioned with a gentle nudge as she was already reaching for the edges of her flannel to pull it off.
“It’s all good, it was my fault anyways. I’ve got it.” Vi chimed in with a clear of her throat as she shrugged the leather jacket from her shoulders. I could’ve gasped at the large muscles on display, the tattoos stretching from her back and down her arms, one of which just slightly concealed by a layer of bandages wrapped around her forearm which nearly had me thinking the worst at first had it not been for the other injuries sprinkled around her body. One atop her bicep by her shoulders and one just off to the side of her chest. Suddenly the underground fighting ring made sense.
“God, you are such a fucking whore. Can you not distract her while I’m trying to give her a reading?” Jinx groaned in annoyance as she gave her a subtle shove even though it looked as if Vi could overpower her pretty easily.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been so insecure in my life actually.” Ellie mumbled to herself with a bit of a grimace. “God, I really need to hit the gym.”
“Hockey players usually work out together a few times a week if you wanna come.” Vi directed towards Ellie with a knowing smirk just before I could feel the leather jacket being draped over my shoulders. It was so warm I nearly felt every bit of the cold from outside melting away, her distinctive masculine scent still lingering now even more so. “You can come too, doll.”
The heat in my cheeks remained as I slid my arms through the oversized jacket that could’ve nearly swallowed me. “Maybe.” I answered with a tiny shrug as I shuffled the cards around in my hand, every attempt to look cool probably muddled by how flustered I seemed to be with every little comment she made. “Here.” I cleared my throat as I handed the cards back to the curious Jinx.
“Alright… here we go.” She practically smirked as she pulled three cards from the deck and spread them out in front of me before flipping the first one over with a flourish. Immediately my heart seemed to twist in my chest at the art piece scrawled across: Death. “Nice, I don’t see that one often!” Jinx seemed much too cheerful at the sight as she reached across the table to give me a pat on the back.
“Ummm… wh-what does that mean?” I stammered with widened eyes.
“Relax new girl, Death doesn’t always mean actual death, usually it just means… like, losing a certain part of your life. Or even killing off a part of yourself. It’s a sign something in your life needs to be let go of, something that isn’t serving you anymore. Now… next up we have-” she began with a flip of the next one, “The Lovers. Questionable at best.”
“I thought the lovers was a good card.” Ellie spoke in confusion from next to me.
“You would think, the true card of love is oftentimes seen as Two of Cups though. The Lovers itself represents… choices, you could say. Choices, temptations, with the addition of the death card it could also indicate sacrifice?” She shrugged as if delivering the most casual piece of news ever before flipping over the last card. “Seven of Cups, you’re a daydreamer, aren’t you?” She questioned with probably the first genuine smile I had seen her crack since we’d been here.
“Being a writer, yeah, kind of comes with the territory.” I said with a nervous smile of my own.
“Keep it up, because you could find purpose in those daydreams.“ It seemed so simple compared to the other two cards, so much so I nearly felt myself hyperfixating on that one card alone even as she slid everything back into place. “Sweet, that was an intense one, but definitely juicy.”
“That’s one way to put it, I guess.” I stated with the same heat creeping back up into my cheeks almost annoyingly.
~
I didn’t feel super talkative throughout the rest of the night besides a quick rush to the bathroom to deliver the news of the kiss to Ellie. It was still hard to gauge her reaction. I almost wondered if she’d be happier if it was someone else, anyone else besides the fighting hockey player who had fucked my sister a solid few times. And maybe she had a point. Ellie was a quiet sort of protective though. She never stopped me from doing anything, she would give her thoughts in private declarations, and was always there if things went south. I guess maybe that’s why it was hard to know how she felt.
Luckily for her own overactive imagination though, she was a lightweight. Two beers in and it became as easy as ever for her to drag herself into her own room and knock out. I wish it could’ve been the same for me, or I drank more either way because the moment I curled up in bed sleep became impossible.
My thoughts were completely consumed by her. Her unruly and spiky pink hair she probably stained every surface with dying. The scent of her cologne that I wished lingered just a little bit longer. The feel of her warm hands on my body with her husky voice and muscular frame.
No, sleep wasn’t anywhere near in my future.
~
It was past 8 whenever Ellie finally woke up to find me hunched over my laptop in the living room and surrounded with various pieces of ripped paper and my journal plopped face down on the coffee table. “Woah, you’re up early.” She spoke through a yawn as she rubbed at her eyes.
“I never went to sleep.” I answered without looking up from my laptop, fingers flying across the keys.
“Christ.” Ellie cursed under her breath as she smacked her open palm against her face. “Millie, you should’ve came and got me if you were having trouble sleeping.” She groaned, shuffling forward in her mothman slippers to plop down next to me. “Babe, hands off of the keyboard for a second.” She ordered, gentle but stern hands wrapping around my wrists to pry them from the keys.
“No wait, not yet! They’re about to have their meet cute! Their- Their inciting incident.” I protested as Ellie snatched the laptop from my grasp, eyes briefly scanning over the lit up screen.
“Are you- Are you writing a love story?” She wondered in almost shock. “I thought you were working on a tragedy.”
“All love stories are inherently tragedies.” I spoke, twirling a pen I had stolen from the coffee table in between my fingers as the sudden thought sprung up into my head. “To love is to- is to-” I groaned a bit at the blurry end of the sentence somewhere in my mind, quickly flipping to an empty page of my journal to scribble down the words. “To love is be vulnerable. No, no, that’s not it.” I huffed as I roughly marked out the words. “To love is to accept loss- but love isn’t always accepting though.”
“You know love isn’t supposed to feel like that.” Ellie sighed a bit, gentle fingers carefully tucking the stray strands of hair out of my face as they had escaped from the loose ponytail a while ago.
I blew out another hefty sigh as I hunched forward to bury my head in my arms. “I’m sorry you have to deal with my mania.”
“You’re not making me deal with anything… I’m your best friend. It’s part of it.” She spoke with a shake of her head, gentle but strong arms coming upwards to tug me away from the mess of the coffee table. “C’mon, you need to get some sleep. I’ll be your pillow.”
“You just woke up, and I thought you had practice.” I protested even though I never wanted to say no to her offer of cuddles. Maybe it was inappropriate and I was a bit too obsessed with cuddles. It felt like since I was a kid it had always been hard to fall asleep without a body next to me. I couldn’t count the times I had snuck off to Caitlyn’s room in the middle of the night and crawled underneath the blankets with her. It was just the security of being next to someone. Sometimes an illusion. But I think I was okay with illusions for now.
“Not until later, and it’s only for a few hours before club rush.” Ellie answered just before stretching her longer legs across the length of the couch giving me few choices but to snuggle into her chest. “I wouldn’t mind a little bit more shut eye though, I just wanted to check on you.”
“Wake me up before you leave?” My voice sounded half muffled burrowed in her black shirt.
“Not a chance.” She denied, lounging her head against the arm rest of the couch to use as a makeshift pillow. “You can wake up on your own time and then if we’re still practicing you can meet me at the rink to watch.” She said hopefully causing a little grin to stretch on my lips.
“Sheesh, no wonder people think we’re dating. You’re a stage 5 clinger.” I teased with a giggle.
“Okay, who is the one currently clung to me like a damn koala right now? Sorry I forgot.”
“Dipshit.” I gave her shoulder a playful shove just before curling back up to her chest, it was hard not to get tired with her cuddles. She was soft, the quiet thump of her heartbeat always echoed in my ears, she kept her breathing steady, a calm rise and fall that she timed with the soothing circles she always rubbed on my back. And she smelled exactly like the way I imagined skipping through a wildflower field would. “I love you.” I murmured in a sleepy voice, my heavy eyes finally drawing to a close.
“I love you too, squirt.” I could faintly hear her voice just before I felt myself doze off.
~
Whenever I woke up again Ellie was already long gone, a blanket draped over top of me and a large squishmallow shoved underneath my head to act as a pillow. The apartment felt weird being empty, a few boxes that had yet to be unpacked scattered around the area and I had to fight the urge to start trying to unpack some more. Then I would probably never leave.
The lack of sleep still weighed heavily on my brain but at least I didn’t feel like I was going to keel over anymore. I threw myself in the shower for a hot second hoping it would wake me up, and thankfully it sort of did. I decided on a simple band hoodie and a pair of leggings after shooting a text to Caitlyn and asking what the dress code for club rush was. Luckily there really wasn’t one.
I rubbed at the sleep in my eyes before going to place my glasses back on my face before an alternate thought crossed my mind. I usually didn’t wear my contacts, they were difficult to get in and occasionally weren’t sensory friendly but… maybe it could be time for a change. So with a heavy breath I plopped the little pieces of plastic into my eyes, a string of blinks and a few watery tears following.
I speed braided a strand of my hair before tossing it up into a low ponytail. Then sending Ellie a quick text for a coffee order while packing my things up for a semi busy day, headphones, medicine, notebooks, laptop etc…
Ellie Sunshine ☀️: the rink actually has a sick coffee bar you have to check out 🤭
Ellie Sunshine ☀️: also abby is out for blood today- if i die just know i want to be planted into a tree. willow specifically.
Millie Moon 🌙: i’ll avenge you bby g
Ellie Sunshine ☀️: AVENGE ME MILLIE!! AVENGE ME!!
I let out a giggle at her text messages before slipping my phone back into my pocket and shoving my AirPods into my ears before I could go and retrieve my bike. I always felt a level of anxiety whenever I walked outside alone and I wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was the general sense that things were well and truthfully changing. I was trying to be independent though. It’s not as if Ellie and I had every single class together, there were bound to be some days we’d leave at different times. I needed to get used to it.
The indoor hockey rink was a tall and intimidating structure. Designed to look like a ship it looked more like a dystopian hell than anything. Grey and cold and the dreary weather of Oxford didn’t help either.
Practice was already in full swing working on scoring or a scrimmage or… I wasn’t entirely sure. Sports were never really my thing, nevertheless though I never turned down the chance to go to a game with Caitlyn. Call it the gay in me, I guess. That little aspect suddenly made her relationship with Vi make more sense. She was a beast on the ice, a ruthless animal who wasn’t afraid to get too rough. Not rough in the way that her teammate Abby Anderson seemed to get though. Ellie was right. She did seem to be out for blood with the way she zipped around the ice and treated her stick like it was an extension of her arm.
I gnawed on my bottom lip as I scanned the rink for Ellie’s figure while digging out my notebook. I was so glad she had finally gotten a chance to play. Playing all through high school only to have most of her time overtook by the army afterwards, she was almost afraid she was too out of practice to get back into it. She was great though, better than any typical freshman, I swore she nearly cried whenever she finally got her jersey. Proud to have her name on something for once.
A little smile stretched on my lips at the sight of her whipping around the ice with ease, a slight glimpse of unkept pink hair took my attention though as she skated in towards the puck from the opposite side. The name: Violence written in place of a last name on the back of her jersey. “Ugh, I can’t believe they let her do that.” I heard a scoff from behind me, flinching just the slightest bit before I could around to face the sound. Jinx stood on the row behind me, blue braids spun up into two thick space buns secured at the bottom of her head. “Violence. It’s so cheesy.” She hopped down into the same row as me, plopping down in the seat next to mine before lounging back on her elbows. “So- come here often?” She teased with a waggle of her eyebrows causing me to let out a little laugh.
“Uhhh… no, actually, Ellie wanted me to meet her at practice though so- I’m here.” I said with a tiny shrug while twirling my pencil around my fingers.
“What’re you working on?” Jinx wondered next with a quick change of subject as she gave my notebook a little nudge.
“Oh uhhh… just this like- song thing, I guess you could call it. I started it last night I just, you know, had this chorus in my head.” I answered with a bit of heat creeping up into my cheeks. “Y-You can read it if you want.” I wondered cautiously, always expecting the worst, but I swore I could’ve seen Jinx’s eyes light up in that moment.
“Oh! Word?!” She exclaimed with a grin before snatching the notebook from my hands without hesitation. “I’d love to!” She grinned before letting her eyes scan over the page. All the while I fidgeted with the ends of my sleeves hoping my one paragraphed unedited chorus wasn’t too bad. “Woah- you are quite down bad over somebody if I must say. I mean, it’s good! It’s definitely good… but- definitely down bad.”
My cheeks felt as rosy as ever and not just because of the cold as I shook my head, but not in denial. “I’m- I don’t know what’s going on with me. I-I haven’t felt this way since-“
“Ellie?” Jinx predicted with ease causing my eyes to widen in surprise.
“Wha- wh-why would you think that? I mean, don’t you have a close friend that everybody thinks you’re dating?”
Jinx only snickered with a smirk as she gave me a quick nudge, “Nope.” She said almost proudly with a loud pop. “I get why you guys aren’t together though, dating your mental hospital roomie can get complicated. I mean, I’m not saying that dating Vi wouldn’t be complicated either but-”
“Wait, how did you? I- I never told you any of that.”
“Doggy, was yesterday not a clue? I stay eavesdropping, I’m in everybody else’s business but my own. Especially my sister’s.” Jinx explained without a hint of shame, and I almost had to respect it.
“I- I don’t know how I feel about you watching me make out with your sister.” I spoke with my eyebrows furrowing together in response, but all I got from Jinx was a loud gasp as she gave me a little swat.
“Oh my God, new girl! I didn’t listen in to that point! Holy shit!” She practically squealed but all it made me do was cringe in anxiety. “Well, whatever it is you’re into, you might wanna figure it out. You’re not the only one who’s got a little crush.” Jinx hummed as she gave me a little nudge and gestured off towards one of the other sides of the rink where the same girl from last night was stood. Black hair tied up in a low ponytail this time, arms crossed as she peered into the rink with a look of fierce concentration.
“Well, I want Ellie to be happy so- if Ellie likes her then… I would be okay with it.” I voiced, though trying to hide the general crushing weight that crept into my chest just at the mere mention. The same ache Ellie had told me about last night. “Besides, she doesn’t like me like that- she made it really clear.”
“Did she? Because I know we’re not exactly experts at reading human emotions.”
“Well, I’m an expert at reading Ellie at least.” I shrugged with a little sigh.
A commotion knocked us both from our conversation though, a little breath hitching in my throat the moment I saw Abby’s gloved hands on Ellie again. “Stop!” I yelped out in anxiety, briefly remembering the memory of her telling me about the plethora of injuries she had received from the explosion that had changed everything, a TBI staring right at me in glowing red lights.
Their helmets went rolling down the ice as I watched the two girls hit the floor, “Fucks sake, Abby!” Ellie groaned in pain as her bare cheekbone touched the ice. Thankfully she was strong and knew how to fight back as she swung her off of her, hand flying to her cheek with a hiss of pain.
“Anderson! I told you save for the violence for the other team! That’s the second time you’ve targeted Williams in two days-“ The intimidating coach finally exclaimed from her observational spot in the wings, though part of her seemed to be willing to let it play out.
“Well maybe she should stay out of my fucking shot!” Abby exclaimed, a declaration that had me widening my eyes at her bravery that she’d speak to someone like Sevika in that way. Sevika who already looked as if she was about to blow. The Andersons were much like the Kirammans though, in the sense a lot of the faculty needed to be careful.
“I’m on fucking defense, Abby! What do you expect me to do?! A-Are you gonna do this during actual games too?!” Ellie shouted as she removed her hand to reveal the angry red splotch underneath her eye where she had been rammed into the ice.
“That was a foul, I saw it.” Vi spoke up as she flew over towards where the two girls stood just off of the ice. “She swiped her so she’d purposefully fall on her face.”
Coach Sevika held up a hand as if to tell her it’d be taken care of. “Everyone, take 5, Anderson, Williams, work out your issues and don’t come back until you do. Williams, do you need a medic?”
“I’m fine, I can take care of it.” Ellie huffed as she pushed herself off of the ice with a wince.
“Then why did you get us benched?!” Abby bellowed as she trailed close behind her to give her a firm shove.
“Hey! Stop, leave her alone!” I repeated probably helplessly for the second time, taking off down the stairs and after where the two were arguing.
For a moment I nearly saw Ellie’s past flash in her usually gentle green eyes. The US Army solider who had had to defend herself from much worse and was always prepared for the worst. I didn’t wanna know what would’ve happened if I hadn’t reached her whenever I did. Nearly tripping over my own two feet as I cautiously crept up next to her. She had taught me a long time ago how to approach her whenever a PTSD trigger hit. I never really got the chance to before Abby was lashing out again, darting her angered expression towards me to the point where I nearly flinched.
“Ellie why don’t you tell your fucking schizo of a girlfriend to stay out of it!”
Ellie’s eyes darkened in a way I hadn’t seen before, the way I imagined they would have on the battlefield as she whipped around to face her with an intensity that had almost gotten her her first shot against her. “What did you just fucking call her?!”
“Ellie, Ellie please- don’t.”
“What the hell is your problem, Anderson?” Vi had finally caught up to the two and I was thanking my lucky stars that she hadn’t heard what had come out of Abby’s mouth.
I gulped an anxious lump down my throat as I slid a hand into Ellie’s gloved one, attempting to pull her off towards the locker rooms but her feet were grounded in place. “I’m really fucking sorry about what happened to your dad, Abby, okay?” She finally spoke up earning me a confused expression from Vi that I could only meet with a shrug. “It was disgusting, inexcusable and it never should’ve happened and trust me whenever I say those soliders never should’ve gotten away with it and I swear to you if I would’ve had any say in it then they wouldn’t have. But respectfully if you have any shit you need to take out on me then do it off of the ice, and if you say one more word like that about Millie you’re going to see that US Army side of me real fucking fast.”
My eyes widened in shock, almost feeling like my feet were glued to the floor as I watched her whirl around and head towards the direction I had been trying to pull her in. “What did you fucking say about Millie?” Venom seemed to drip from Vi’s lips as she turned towards Abby with a fierce glare.
“Uh-oh-” I could hear Jinx’s subtle commentary causing me to curse underneath my breath.
“Man, it isn’t important, I was just pissed.” Abby tried to brush off, but Vi wasn’t having it.
“Clearly it was if you felt the need to bring her into this so tell me, what did you fucking say to her?!” Vi growled just before slamming her body into the protective glass wrapping around the rink.
“Vi- s-stop, please!” I stammered, reaching out to latch onto her broad shoulders as I tried to pry her off. She was so much bigger though, pure muscle seeming to be made out of steel as she refused to move.
“Millie, go check on Ellie, okay? I’ll handle this.” She ordered, body towering over mine even as she peered over her shoulder to face me.
“Violet please-“
“I wasn’t asking!” The words probably came out much harsher then expected causing me to wince once more. She commanded authority, and still I wondered if she was simply trying to protect me or what. But I wouldn’t challenge her after that.
“O-Okay.” I stammered, an ache settling behind my eyes as I turned on my heel to venture back into the locker room.
“Ugh, you are such a dick, do you know that?” I heard Jinx’s voice carry down the hallway, meanwhile I gulped down a heavy lump in my throat as I quickened my pace to take off in Ellie’s direction.
A/N: Two hot girls fighting for your honor- wow, living the dream 🩵
As always please let me know your thoughts! I am really am trying to slow down but it’s hard to whenever I love what I’m writing so much 🤭🥹
#fanfic#arcane fanfic#arcane fanfiction#vi from arcane#vi arcane#jinx arcane#arcane league of legends#arcane#vi x oc#vi and jinx#vi fanfiction#vi fanfic#vi x reader#vi x you#ttpd vi x reader#ellie willams x reader#ellie williams x oc#ellie x reader#ellie the last of us#ellie williams#ellie tlou#jinx
66 notes
·
View notes
Text
A ramble on imposter syndrome and the accessibility of witchcraft
So, I’ve been thinking. I think a lot in case you haven’t noticed. Specifically, I’ve been thinking about the major imposter syndrome I’ve been feeling lately in regards to this blog. TL;DR is at the bottom of this post.
People have been, occasionally, sending me asks requesting my opinion on things/how I do things/what I know about XYZ topic. If you are one of these people, I promise I’m not vagueposting about you in particular- in fact, I love these questions! They’re so fun to get and they actually make me sit and think sometimes, or even encourage me to write out something that I’ve been meaning to for my book of shadows. Genuinely, they're wonderful asks to receive. These questions have made me confront something, however; my blog is still small, but some people actually like what I write and value my opinion even if just a little.
I feel like a mimic hiding in the witchcraft community. I feel like, were people to truly understand my experiences, they would want to “expose” me for knowing so little.
So I sat down with those feelings and turned it over in my head and I’ve come to a conclusion. The fact is, I don’t do research. At least- not what I think of when people talk about research. My "research" consists of the occasional rabbit hole I go down, one and two halves of different books I never finished under my belt, what I see scrolling through various social medias, and conversations I've had with other witches. I check to make sure I'm not stepping on the toes of any closed practices- in fact, that's what most of my energy goes to when it comes to research. This isn't a complaint; I'd much rather know that my craft isn't appropriative.
But I don’t know much about mythology, even that of the deities I work with. I don't even remember the holidays and what they're for. I thought Nyx was an Egyptian deity until like four months ago because I'd just heard her name in passing as a child and had never looked into the mythology... Even though I mainly work with the pantheon she belongs to. Y’all, I’ve done like three spells that I remember. My book of shadows is a messy disaster and I love it but it's got so little information in it, because I rarely write things down. Most resources (especially mythology resources) are academically worded or difficult to read for me personally, and all of these things feel like secrets I have to guard with my life because if I were to ever say them aloud, people would know I'm a fraud.
Today I've come to the conclusion that that is, in fact, absolute bullshit.
Maybe it's not, maybe this post will make some people really upset, but in my practice it's bullshit. All of the above is a result of my ADHD and the fact that I am nothing if not a hands-on learner. My craft is mostly my own experiences because that's how my whole life is; I learn by doing. My ideal learning style is sitting with another autistic person whose special interest is whatever I'm learning about and just talking for five hours, but if that's not something I can do, puzzling it out myself is the next best thing. That's what I've been doing ever since I felt had a basic foundation for my craft. Hell, even before I had a foundation I was putting my own experiences into my craft because "Well that rule just doesn't fucking vibe with me."
This post is mostly for me, but partially for anyone who feels similar. We are not broken or doing witchcraft/paganism wrong. We are simply what happens when the kid who could never do homework ends up practicing the "religion/spirituality that comes with homework." Witchcraft and paganism, in my experience, is far from accessible when it comes to the typical image of it. UPG is what makes it accessible. So yes, my practice is heavily UPG, and I don't do as much research as I think people have assumed. But I'm going to let go of the idea that I'm a fraud, because frankly I know enough about witchcraft to have supported my practice this whole time and my deities haven't smited me yet so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
TL:DR:
Fuck the rules, I don't do much research. I've researched the "basics" and what I need to so I'm not stepping on any toes of closed practices, but people seem to think I know way more than I actually do. I've felt like I was lying this whole time but frankly witchcraft just isn't accessible to someone with my flavor of auDHD, so my craft relies heavily on UPG and I've decided that I'm not broken or wrong for that and neither is anyone else. I'm tired of seeing myself as an imposter just because I make my practice doable for me.
#I feel weird about posting this but Loki seems thrilled#of course he is though#“fuck the rules” energy is their whole deal#Frog's writing#shit did I use caps in my previous posts?#Frog's Writing#frog's writing#there we go now it doesn't matter lol#witchcraft#witchblr#pagan witch#pagan#witch community#paganism#deity work#eclectic pagan#paganblr#witch blog
175 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi ! Idk if im doing this right, its my first time sending a request…
Anyways, I loved ur autistic!reader x Oscar fic and i was just wondering if you could write more about them :)
I would love to read something about how she would interact with the other drivers / how they would interact with her!
If you don’t want to write that then you don’t have too! I love your writing and would love to read anything you post <3
Have a nice day, bye 😊
Grid Encounters
Oscar piastri x Autistic!reader
Genre: Fluff
Request: Yes, and with the amount of people who want to see Oscar and his Autistic partner, I will potentially make this a series:). Also, I'm still open for requests
Summary: Shenanigans on the grid take place when Oscar and his girlfriend are there
Warnings: idk I don't think there is
Notes: Trying a new format, let me know what y'all think!
Masterlist
It didn't take long for some of the drivers to catch on
Others were completely oblivious
Oscar and Lando both found it incredibly entertaining when she struggled to filter her thoughts
Her opinions and comments about things making them laugh hysterically
When someone told a joke she didn’t understand and gave them a blank stare, the reaction to them was funnier then the joke.
Oscar always swooped in to save her
Explaining what everyone found so funny in a way that made it all click for her
Max became close with her easily
She listened intently every time he started Maxsplaining or info-dumping
It was obvious to her when he was joking
He appreciates her laughing at his jokes
Charles is absolutely clueless
The two often staring blankly at the other
No thoughts, head empty
Until they figured out their shared interest in music
Then they wouldn’t shut up
Lando appreciates her tastes in food
Specifically the lack their of
Finally he could go out to eat with someone who understood him and his pickiness
Much to Oscar’s dismay
Daniel is very sweet with her
He tries his best not to shout in her ear and if he knows he’s going to be loud he’ll make sure to warn her
He gets defensive whenever someone gets insensitive
He’s always ready to tell someone off if they aren’t listening to her and what she’s saying she needs
Lewis was always wanting to know as much as possible
Learning to help make people aware of the hurtful stereotypes
It was refreshing to see and she openly answered any questions he asked
The reporter and journalists on the other hand, had yet to learn their lesson
It became a game among everyone who was regularly in the paddock
A game they called “which journalist would be getting a blunt answer today”
They always wanted to know why she did the the things she did
In which they would either receive a blunt and unfiltered answer
Or a sarcastic remark
“Is this the new style?”
“Sure. But I just find it comfy.”
“Do you ever get annoyed by things around the paddock?”
“That’s a stupid question. Don’t you have a degree for this stuff?”
“How do you and Oscar celebrate?”
“We party really hard. Drink a lot… of water. Lay on the floor. I’m always exhausted after.”
Speaking of the floor
She had a habit of always being on it
She determined that some floors were better then others
Oscar loved to indulge in her experiments
Rating every floor she was willing to lay on
They once were judging to tarmac on the circuit
Other drivers were doing track walks
Eventually they joined in
The journalists were confused at why half the grid was laying in the ground determining if they could sleep on it
It was a nice change, being around people who didn’t label her and accepted all of her quirks
Oscar was glad she felt at home around the paddock
He loves her for who she is
So seeing her smile about her environment and being accepted into his grid family made him smile too
#x reader#fanficion#f1 fic#formula one#max verstappen#formula 1#racing#lando norris#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x y/n#oscar piastri x you#oscar is baby#oscar piastri#fluff#mclaren racing#mclaren#mclaren formula 1#Charles Leclerc#daniel ricciardo#autism#autistic reader#formula racing#charles leclerc x reader#lando norris x reader#max verstappen x reader#autistic#redbull racing#Oscar#piastri#op81
650 notes
·
View notes
Text
stanford is autistic-coded and that really affected his relationship with fiddleford (tbob spoilers)
(I want to start off saying I’m autistic and might rant about Arthur a bit here because it’s a 10+ year strong special interest and you just have to deal with it)
“another day, another failed social interaction.” (ford, the book of bill)
“when my waitress told me the apple pie was made ‘from scratch,’ I replied, ‘incredible! I must meet the chef who created the atoms!’ She made a face like she had tasted bleach and ended her shift early.”
I read this imagining ford smiling, expecting a laugh from the waitress. I know so many autistic people who make jokes like this, it really to me doesn’t seem much different from the jokes that people do like. Taking things and shifting their meaning. The children’s show Arthur put it best in the episode “When Carl Met George” (or, “Carl and the Missing Puzzle Piece”, definitely check it out, although it was made in 2010 so it uses an outdated term and has few stereotypes)
Basically in that episode, autism was described as George crash landing on an alien planet with no instructions.
here’s some of the transcript:
“(narrator): …And even though you speak the same language, you sometimes have a hard time understanding what they mean.
Francine (as alien): Good night for a banana fight, right?
George: Um, yes? No! I don't know!”
Arthur (as alien) walks up to them wearing flippers, a tutu, a huge bow tie and a hat of whipped cream with a cherry. His outfit is absolutely ridiculous.
“(narrator): and things that seem hilarious to you…
George: (laughs)
(narrator): ...aren't funny at all to them.
Arthur (as alien): What's he laughing at? Is it my nose?
Francine (as alien): I have no idea. You're weird!
Francine and Arthur walk off.
George: But it was a joke, right? Oh.”
this basically describes the situation perfectly. on top of that, I know of autistic men that seem like they are being aggressive or sarcastic to women when they make these jokes, most likely what happened during this dining incident. (which, honestly, women go through a lot of shit with men and I don’t blame them if they assume the worst.)
But let’s go to fidds and fords relationship. (romantic or not.)
I’ve seen so many fiddlestan posts shaming ford for what are just autistic qualities to justify their ship being superior. (ex. One post said “stan recognized when fidds was distressed unlike SOME people” in a fanfic, which is both shaming ford and pretty uncanon seeming)*
I really don’t think ford realized fidds wasn’t ok until it all fell apart. he closest he goes is basically “fidds seems jittery from the whole shapeshifter thing so we can just relax and that will fix it.” I think it’s a common autistic mentality that “if this happens I can fix it with this, and that will solve the problem.”
many people on the spectrum have logical systematic thinking and a preference for clear rules with predictable outcomes.
I think that’s the closest ford ever got to thinking that something was wrong.
I think he never realized fidds was actually going insane. All he thought was that he was going to betray him because of Bill and that black ring.
“it became clear how deeply I had hurt this man I once held so dear.”(ford, journal 3)
I really think he held onto the thought that fidds betrayed him. autistic people are also a lot of times easier to manipulate due to challenges in seeing deception, probably why bill saw him as an easy target.
but of course, fidds in the end with his big heart and amazing mind forgave ford. i’m almost positive he knew ford thought different.
and probably got fiddle𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 with him later
Edit: I should mention that the whole “I’ve seen so many fiddlestan posts shaming ford for what are just autistic qualities. (ex.“stan recognized when fidds was distressed unlike SOME people”)” is just a common type of thing I see in fiddlestan posts and fanfics. I really doubt that Stan WOULD do that, but fiddlestan shippers are a whole different breed ig. Edited again for clarity on the same thing
#the book of bill#stanford pines#gravity falls#stanley pines#fiddauthor#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#gravity falls fiddleford#ford
50 notes
·
View notes
Note
🎈emoji so I’ll see it:
AITA FOR NOT HUGGING AN AUTISTIC KID? (Long read ahead)
ok so I’m a middle schooler (M), yes I’m 14 (old enough to be on the site) and today we were doing some end of year activities (eg. signing yearbooks, playing games, etc etc). And I was talking to a friend of mine we’ll call her V. Suddenly I was approached by a teacher who said that a kid (let’s say Jessica) wanted to talk to me. I was like “oh ok sure.” Jesica approached me and brought me a card. Now some background on Jessica:
So Jessica is autistic and in all different classes than me. I’ve interacted with her a few times, she seems to have some friends? I don’t really know. In the past I tried to be her friend not knowing she was autistic (this is the possibly asshole part) but her behavior was really strange as she would often say odd things that made me uncomfortable (not perverted or anything but just really awkward) and would really kinda creep me out so once my class with her was over I never spoke to her unless she initiated it which only happened once or twice. Another thing that really bothers me is that I co-lead our showchoir group with V and another student and it’s a difficult job that requires a lot of participation and effort from all the members. Yet Jessica hardly ever does anything, she just sits in a chair half the time while everyone else is working hard. I know that it’s a spectrum and not all autistic ppl are the same but there’s two other autistic dudes who both work super hard and help out a ton!
Anyway she insisted that it had to be a surprise and told me to close my eyes and put out my hands. I absolutely hate closing my eyes in public due to the worry that someone will touch me while my eyes are closed but I didn’t wanna upset her so I did it anyway. When I opened my eyes she’d placed a folded over piece of paper in my hands. She’d written a card in pink magic marker, it was almost illegible so all I could make out was “my full name and grade, the date, summer (have a good summer?), and school. She asked me to read it out loud so I mumbled a bunch of sounds together to make it seem like I was reading it even though I couldn’t tell what it said on account of the handwriting. She seemed satisfied so I thanked her telling her how much I appreciated and moved to leave when she said “and what do we say?” Confused I said “thank you”. I think that was the right answer? She then put out a hand toward me which is a pretty normal gesture in our school meaning you want the other person to dap you up. So I did, to which she seemed confused and tried to shake my hand. She then said “don’t I get a hug? You have to hug me right?” I HATE hugs. It brings back traumatic memories and I really really could not bring myself to hug her epesecially since I didn’t know her well. “I told her I’m sorry but I don’t do hugs. I just really don’t like them.” She looked disappointed at that and then said “that was really sweet of me right, writing you a letter?” I didn’t know how to reply to that so I said “yeah it’s great.” She replied saying I had to right her back and that I should “write it at home and give it to her the next day”. Knowing I’d forget, I just grabbed a piece of paper and wrote it to her right there. It was a simple paragraph on a different sheet of paper with the usual stuff, “have a good summer, you’re really cool, good luck in hs” the kind of stuff you write in someone’s yearbook. she seemed satisfied and she put her hand out again so I dapped her up again. She then shook my hand vigorously and walked away saying she’d see my tommorow.
I hated everything about this encounter but I still feel like I did a good job being nice and stuff even though I have a hard time being patient with people that pressure me to do things (eg. Writing her another letter, hugging, affirming her over and over, the handshake thing). Idk V said it was a strange situation and I handled it fine but again was not hugging her bad of me? Or like did I mess up in some other way? I have no beef with autistic people at all and I’m friends with a few of them but is it wrong of me to just not like her?
Also thanks for reading all that but if it was too long:
TLDR: autistic girl wanted me to hug her as thanks for her writing me a letter and I declined, aita?
105 notes
·
View notes
Text
Stiles Stilinski and how teen wolf fails his character and relationships
TW: mentions of charecters traumas, disibilitys not being taken seriously, toxic relationships, one sided attraction, and teen wolf hate cuz as much as I love some of the charecters… the show is kinda bad (it’s my special interest b4 I get hate)
ALSO!!!
I am just an autistic guy who’s been hyper fixated on stiles as a character for years. I am not telling you how to feel about the show or him, I’m just expressing how I feel through a long (and I mean it this is long so strap in… or don’t… I don’t control you) tumbler rant. I have not finished the show but I have done a lot of research (about episodes and seasons that I have not seen) but I’m just human. If I miss something or don’t get something right, you can just tell me!!
Stiles stilinski as a character, while not a revolution to tv, was a pretty iconic character. A show about werewolves and the supernatural was absolutely side stepped by the human of the series. From the moment he’s on screen, he brings a fun vibe and some pretty funny jokes but you’re not here to listen to me glaze a white guy from an early 2000s show. Too much of that on here any way so let’s get to the real meat and potato’s!
Stiles was failed by teen wolf. They failed to give him relationships (and I mean platonic and romantic relationships) that were reciprocated. His relationship with Scott is ok at best. In the first season stiles goes out of his way for Scott to help him find out what’s wrong with him and it’s seemingly the only reason he’s there other then to get Scott to go in the woods and to show that Scott isn’t friendless and what does Scott do? Kinda just ignore him to hang out with a girl HE JUST MET. This isn’t a one time thing either. Stiles goes out of his way for Scott 99% of the time. He’s loyal and honestly a really good friend. Scott does not meet him there unfortunately. This is not to say that Scott never helps stiles out or never shows care for him, he just kinda always puts his issues first. I think a famous example is season 5 episode 9. NOW BEFORE YOU SCOTT SYMPATHIZERS BOO ME I WOULD LIKE TO EXPLAIN MY POINT. Now Scott and Stiles have both gone through some traumatizing shit that no one, especially high schoolers but I can only give so much leniency. Scott is supposed to be a leader/alpha and although he’s bound to make mistakes, a good leader listens. He never really listens to stiles in this argument. He got told one story from Theo and just runs with it. He has this problem either way black and white thinking when everyone in this series is a person (werewolf’s and other supernatural creatures included) and being a person comes with not being perfectly good. Scott has this awful superiority complex when it comes to doing what he thinks is morally right. Scott through out the series proves that he is not as loyal to stiles is to him.
I’d also like to go over his relationship with Lydia cuz good god man. I don’t hate Lydia. I think she’s a great character that if not written in the early 2000s could really have potential but they make her mean to stiles (as most charecters are) and show no interest in stiles even as a nuisance and expect me to care about them as a couple. Now you could say the same thing about sterek (stiles x Derek) and you might even be typing up a comment now. Let me stop you. I think there is a key diffrance. We are supposed to root for stiles and Lydia. We are supposed to want them together when Lydia in all honesty is not intrested in him. It’s not a mutual arguing or back and forth. Stiles is deeply in love with some one who ignored his existence. As a afab person I feel bad for Lydia a little. Having the attention of a man that you don’t like all that much while you have a partner (Jackson in season 1 which he’s not a good partner but she’s still with someone) should get on my nerves and also kinda make me nervous. This is not me saying stiles is a creep or anything it’s just me highlighting the relationship that they share is kinda one sided. Now this is just personal preference and you might really like that dynamic but I don’t really want to root for a couple where it’s just pretty girl is there and she has some nerd who wants to be with her and she eventually gets with him cuz yay straight people. I know they grow and eventually Lydia is in love with him but I just can’t get behind it. It’s just nothing. The fact the he (stiles) yells at her at the school dance (season 1 episode 11) to get her to dance with him after she rejected the offer twice is weird!!! The whole speech is nice guy behavior on stiles part and it makes him seem down right disrespectful. I don’t care for the whole “no means I’m playing hard to get” idea. It makes stiles look like a dick, puts Lydia in the position where if she doesn’t say yes the audience will hate her, and it doesn’t progress the relationship in a healthy way. I think they would be really cute friends and you can even keep the “stiles has a crush on her” narrative and just make it to where he comes to an understanding that she has said no and they become friends. God knows we are lacking good platonic male/female relationships in media.
Now onto stiles and his disability. When I was in first obsessing over stiles in middle school or high school I was ecstatic to learn that stiles had adhd. I have been diagnosed with adhd since I was in elementary school. I was always an outcast cuz of it so to see a character, a fan fav at that, I was so happy. Getting any disability rep (especially from the mid 2000s) is crazy rare so I was happy to see it. Unfortunately in an interview Dylan o’brian (stiles actor) said that it was a joke. That even tho that in the series stiles says that he takes Adderall (a drug that treats adhd) he’s just like that. This was incredibly heart breaking to hear. Jeff Davis (creator of teen wolf) said that stiles had adhd later on Twitter but this isn’t a real relief to hear cuz either they wrote a “joke” that stiles might have adhd therefore dangling rep infront of disabled people’s faces while also having plausible deniability about having any rep in the show at all OR they wrote it in and just kinda ditched it at one point. They use derogatory terms for adhd to describe stiles like spaz just for him to be a nerotypical charecter??? Yeahhhhhh not a huge fan. If they actually wrote him to have adhd (which btw in my experience is like one of the most “accepted” disibiltys to portray in media so it wouldn’t even be taking a huge risk to give stiles adhd) then that would explain his behaviors, why he takes Adderall, why people other him when he seemingly does everything right. It was only ever a joke to the writers and I think unfortunately the actors. It made it to where other fans of the show can shut down the idea that stiles has adhd cuz “they don’t ever directly say it. It’s frustrating and overall makes me so sad.
Next his trauma. They put this man through a lot and just gloss over it. They do this with most of the charecters. Huge traumatic incadent then boom Scott saves the day we’re all fine!!! (Can you tell who my least fav charecter is through this rant?) it’s just annoying. Stiles was litterly possessed leaving him a broken man but it’s kinda just… there? No real ptsd. Hell he doesn’t even really have to deal with anything. They briefly go over that his mom died and kinda just became a shell of a person and that made his dad an alcoholic. It just happens. None of that affects stiles outside of that story line. Was it too much to write ptsd? Idk it just seems that anytime they have to write a charecter that isn’t a ambiguously white or white nerotypical untraumatized “normal” person, they fall flat *cough* BOYD *cough cough* DANNY *cough* what was that? Who said that? Any way it’s just weird and upsetting.
All of this to say…. I think teen wolf had so much potential and so many good ideas that just… didn’t make it. They failed stiles stilinski, not only that! They failed all of their character’s but I’m not crazy Coocoo about their character’s and it 1:38 in the morning so I’ll leave it with stiles. If you disagree with me that’s so fine, I’d love to have a conversation about your opinions! Just from my knowledge and experience, I feel like they could have done so much better for stiles
(Like make him a bisexual neurodivergent icon but whatever)
Have a lovely day! Thank you for listening. If you ever want to talk about teen wolf, my dms are always open and I’m crazy.
#stiles stilinski#derek hale#sterek#teen wolf the series#teen wolf#erica reyes#scott mccall#adhd#actually autistic#actually adhd#charecter analysis#rant post#rant#rambles#vernon boyd#danny mahealani#lydia martin#noah stilinski
92 notes
·
View notes
Note
i absolutely love your writing style, its so amazing. and i was wondering if you could do Chessy x reader where reader has autism and works for Elizabeth and gets overwhelmed at an event and Chessy comforts her, could just be fluff or could escalate, its up ro you!
Hi!! I’m happy you love my writing style! ❤️. Here is the fic for your prompt, I loved the prompt and I was wanting a Chessy prompt as I wasn’t getting any. Not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it!
On another note: I have like 4 Melissa fics started and I might finish them all by Monday and just post them all at the same time.
Assistance Needed
Warnings: autistic reader, lot of fluff
Words: 2.27k
“Alright Elizabeth, everything is set for tomorrow’s wedding, just a couple of last minute preparations that will need to be done tomorrow.” You tell Elizabeth outside in the backyard where the wedding will take place.
“Perfect thank you y/n.” Elizabeth tells you before someone takes her attention and she leaves you standing there. You take one last look at the list just to make sure when you hear someone walking up to you.
“Hey hon.” You look up and Chessy there and smile.
“Hey Chess.” You tell her.
“All ready for the wedding?”
“Yep, just tomorrow’s last minute stuff and then it’s all good.” You tell her and she smiles.
“Wow, Elizabeth is lucky to have an assistant like you.” She says and you blush a bit.
“Thank you, but I just make sure things get done.” You tell her.
“You’re so modest, give yourself some credit. You made sure the wedding came together.” She explains to you. “Anyway, are you hungry? I made some lunch and got some extra if you want it.” She offers and you smile at her.
“I would love too.” You say and she smiles before leading you into the house.
You started working for Elizabeth as her assistant about 5 months ago but it was mostly at her shop helping her with things to get the dresses ready for the summer. Ever since Elizabeth and Annie moved in with the Parker’s, the combined their businesses. They held weddings at the vineyard while also serving whatever wine the bride and groom want, and Elizabeth designs, fits, and makes their dress. Lately you’ve been working at the house, getting things ready for the weddings. You met Chessy about 2 months ago when you came to the house for the first time. She instantly took an interest in you and it seems she also likes to be looking after you. She always makes sure she makes extra for lunch when you’re over, when you start to get stressed with the work then she makes you laugh, when you get frustrated with something then she helps work it out with you.
You can’t deny that it feels nice that she looks out for you, and you also can’t deny that you have feelings for her. You try not to feel special that she helps you with things, she’s a nanny, it’s what she does. During lunch she can see that you’re nervous about something.
“Hon, are you okay? You’re quiet, usually you’re talking about something you like.” She tells you and you look up at her and sigh.
“It’s about tomorrow.” You tell her and she quirks an eyebrow at you.
“The wedding?” She asks and you nod. “What’s making you nervous about the wedding?” She asks as she gives you a plate of food.
“Thank you.” You say as you begin eating. “It’s a really big wedding. Like the others were like 50-250 people on the guest list. That’s a normal amount. But tomorrow there’s gonna be 650 people, I don’t do well with a lot of people.” You tell her.
“I think you’ll kill it tomorrow. But if you want then I can be there with you for support.” She offers and you look at her.
“Really? You’d do that for me?” You ask and she nods with a smile.
“Of course.”
“Ok, well if you’re being serious then I would love for you to be there.” You say to her.
“Alright, I’ll be there.” She promises to you and you smile as you continue eating.
The next day you’re slipping on your black dress. It’s still a couple hours until the wedding, enough time to get the last minute preparations done. You stayed at the Parker house last night to make it easier, you usually do when the next day is a wedding or you stayed working late. You bounce downstairs and you go outside to get everything done.
You didn’t notice Chessy watching you from a window for most of the time. You actually never notice her just watching you work. She loves seeing you in your element. She’s watching you with a fond smile on her face.
“Just tell her already.” Nick says with a bit of annoyance. Chessy whips her head around as she didn’t know he was there or even heard him.
“Tell who what?” She asks, although she has an idea of who and what he means.
“Tell y/n you like her. We all see it and we’re wondering when you’re going to tell her.” He says.
“It might be best if I don’t. After all she works for Elizabeth, if it doesn’t work or she rejects me then we’ll still run into each other.”
“Chessy, you’re thinking too much into it. You can’t think about it not working out when you haven’t even started dating. And also she won’t reject you, she feels the same way about you.” He says like it’s obvious and Chessy is looking at him like a deer in headlights.
“She what?” Chessy asks, wanting to know if she heard him right. Nick looks at her in disbelief.
“She likes you too Chessy. Do you really not see it?”
“I thought it was one-sided.” Chessy says and looks at you through the window again. “I offered to be with her at the wedding today, as support due to the amount of people who will be here.”
“Well you have a perfect opportunity then, weddings bring out the romance in people.” He says with a wink and then leaves.
An hour later, Chessy is making lunch when the twins come running in.
“Hey, no running in the house.” Chessy tells them and they immediately stop.
“Sorry Chess, we just smelled food and got excited.” Hallie says and Annie nods in agreement.
“Well lunch is almost ready.” She says and they sit down at the island. Chessy is still thinking about what Nick says when she realises there’s two people there who sees everything and can confirm or deny. “Hey girls, I have a question for you.” She tells them and they both look at her. “You know y/n right?” She starts and they both nod. “Well do you know if, if she might have feelings…for someone?”
“You mean if she has feelings for you?” Annie says and Chessy blushes. Wow, Nick wasn’t kidding when he says everyone knows.
“Yes, do you know if she has feelings for me?” She rephrases.
“Well obviously, she doesn’t exactly hide it.” Hallie says and Chessy lets out a breath she was holding.
“Both of you don’t hide it.” Annie adds.
“Ok, eat your lunch.” Chessy says as she hands them both bowls of chilli.
“Are you going to bring Y/n in to eat too?” Annie says.
“You know since you always seem to have extra when she’s here.” Hallie adds and Chessy’s cheeks become red.
“If she has time then yes.” Chessy stutters out and then Elizabeth comes walking in with you, talking about something.
“Ok so the last thing is for the bride to finish getting ready?” Elizabeth asks you and you check over the list.
“Yep, everything else is done.” You say and Elizabeth takes a deep breath.
“Thank goodness. Oh Chessy you made lunch, do you have enough for y/n to eat some before the wedding?” Elizabeth asks Chessy and both the twins look at Chessy with a smirk.
“Uh ya, there’s more than enough.” Chessy answers and gets a bowl ready for you. “Are you eating too, Elizabeth?”
“In a bit. Just have to do something quickly first.” Elizabeth says and then leaves. The twins finish and leave quickly before you sit down at the island. Chessy makes a bowl for you and gets another one for her. She places one in front of you and sits down beside you.
“Thank you, Chessy.” You tell her with a smile.
“Not a problem, hon.” She says with a matching smile. “You look beautiful btw.”
“Thank you. We have to dress nice and in black.” You tell her.
“I think you always look beautiful.” She blurts out before her brain processes it. You look at her and she notices a small blush on your cheeks.
“Th-thank you. I um- I also think the same about you.” You tell her and she blushes and smiles at you.
“Thanks hon.” You both finish your lunch while chatting with each other until you have to go back to work as guests are arriving.
Chessy got changed while you and other staff started welcoming and entertaining the guests. When she comes out, she can tell right away that you’re starting to get tense from the amount of people you have to welcome and tell them where to go, as well as letting the staff know what to do. Chessy comes to your side and puts an arm around your shoulders and she sees you visibly relax after realising who it is.
“Half the guests are here already and it’s like none of the staff know what to do.” You complain to her and she giggles.
“Well you’re doing amazing, hon. I’m here to support you if you need it.” She says and you smile at her.
“Thanks Chessy.” You say and lean into her.
Half an hour later, Chessy had to go help the twins with something and has to leave you alone for a few minutes. You greeted more guests and had to assist some of the staff on what to do and you were informed that you’re down a few staff members.
“What should we do?”
“There’s not enough of us for everything now.”
“Nothing will get done in time.”
The other staff members are all looking for guidance from you and it’s all becoming too much. You’re looking around for Elizabeth and all you see is too many people and a bunch of staff that are depending on you. You start breathing heavier and feel like you’re trapped.
“I’ll be right back.” You tell them and make a beeline for the house.
Chessy was coming back and was looking for you, she sees you emerge from a group of staff and almost sprint to the house. She follows after you and sees you pacing around the living room in the house.
“Hon, everything alright?” She asks as she sees you stressed. You look up at her and shake your head. She walks over to you and she puts her arms around you in a hug. You immediately hug her back and take a deep breath. “It’s alright, you’re gonna be alright.” She tells you as she strokes your head. You really want to answer her verbally or tell her thank you but you seem to have lost the ability to speak at the moment.
Chessy leads you to one of the couches and you end up cuddling on her on the couch. You take a strand of her hair between your fingers and start twirling it with your fingers. Chessy watches you do it and lets you as it seems to relax you, to be honest she’d let you play with her hair no matter what.
You take a few more deep breaths and are able to speak softly to her. “Thank you.” You say and she rubs your back.
“I’ll always be here to support you and help you through whatever you need.” She tells you genuinely. At that moment you can’t help but lean into her and kiss her. She’s shocked at first but then relaxes into the kiss and kisses you back. You both pull back after a few seconds and you look at her surprised.
“You kissed me back?” You ask confused and she nods. “Why?”
“Because I like you.” She states like it’s obvious and she goes to kiss you again but you stop her by putting a hand on her chest.
“There’s something you should know, I’m- I’m autistic.” You say and she looks at you confused.
“Ok…? And?”
“Well I wanted to let you know in case it changes how you might feel about me.” You tell her and she strokes your cheek.
“Oh hon, it doesn’t change how I feel about you in the slightest.” She says genuinely and you lean into her touch.
“OH MY GOD! I have to go find Elizabeth and tell her about the staff situation.” You say suddenly and bolt out of the house.
Chessy chuckles at your actions and proceeds to follow you out of the house. When she catches up with you, you’re talking to Elizabeth and she goes to handle the situation.
“You know, I think we were in the middle of something.” She says as she reaches you and you turn to look at her with a smile.
“Sorry, we’re experiencing a staff shortage.” You say and she places an arm around your waist. You lean into her body and she kisses the top of your head. You turn to look at her and you move some strands of hair out of her face. “I do like you as well, in case it wasn’t obvious with the kiss.” You tell her and she giggles.
“You’re cute, it was pretty obvious after that but I don’t mind hearing you say it.” She says and you both kiss.
Across the yard the twins and Nick see you both kiss. He proceeds to hand both of them $5 as they guessed she was going to confess to you tonight. “I’m not betting with you guys again.” He says as they both pocket their $5 with a smile.
Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta
@imaginesmultifandoms
@idonothingalldays-blog
@sexysapphicshopowner
@dvrkhcld
@lilfartbox1
@ricejucie
@unicorniusfallapatorius
@a-queen-and-her-throne
@sleep-deprived-athlete
@og-kxsh-420
@sasheemo
Let me know if you want to be added!
70 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’ve had a lot of times in my life where I’ve spoken my insights into people too bluntly. Noting that someone’s partner didn’t care for them as deeply or observing a self destructive habit generally just make people lash out.
For instance when my cousin decided to get married at nineteen to a girl he’d known for three months after they met on a World of Warcraft server before they even lived together. I was the only one to tell him what a ludicrously bad idea it was. He didn’t thank me, and only when they divorced a year later did he acknowledge that my honesty had come from a place of caring.
Over the years I’ve tempered my impulse to meddle to the point where someone is asking for my honest opinion or advice. If I clock that my very definitely autistic friend is starting to question whether they might be autistic I’ll give a roundabout nudge but not before then. When someone’s boyfriend is an absolute skeev I keep it to myself unless prompted.
But my friend with the nightmare dog is just drowning. The dog is a husky mix, but with only husky traits. Independence, stubbornness, nippiness, aloof. She said she wanted a cuddly dog who loved people and would go out and about with her.
The dog she got can’t be trusted an inch to recall, doesn’t care for most people, and just walks all over her. She didn’t do any reading and this is her first dog, ever. She kept saying she’d talk to a trainer but instead just cries about how defeated she feels about the dogs behavior. I’d go over for training sessions only to have her not take any of my advice.
I let it go two months but she just told us she got bitten breaking up a fight between her dog and another. I finally just texted that I didn’t think this was the dog for her and that rehoming would be in both of their best interests.
She hasn’t responded and I’m miserably certain I’ve overstepped. I wanted to tell her in person but she always changes the subject, even when she’s crying over how hard this dog is making her life. I feel like my friend deserves to be happy and there’s just no version of this animal being what she needs or can handle but I still feel like a monster for saying it.
87 notes
·
View notes
Text
Happy ace day 👍 I made this with a app might have over done it but oh well
kitty is asexual i believe it it’s true I’m not just doing this off vibes either because I do see people do it off vibes and no no I have bullet points
The podcast basically confirms it they say something like that she is completely repulsed by sex or something like that
this point is off the other one she dose like romance novels and stuff like that but I don’t remember who this was if this was you Hello you are so correct but someone made a post about a few ghosts characters and there autistic traits and kitty was one of them and they said about her special interest could be romance and sex which makes so much sense
there are lots of asexual identities i don’t know which she is but she’s definitely one of them so like if you think this makes sense but this one thing dose not well there could be a specific one for that if you have a specific one cool please tell me
the episode where she thinks she’s pregnant and Alison explains to her that she can’t be and why she can’t and she’s like “so everyone who have children have done that?” And she looks at all the ghosts with children absolutely disgusted
she also again this is off number four but it is explained to her in free pass and she just completely forgets like she dose not care she’s like hehe romance but the sex dose not care so much that she forgets
ok that was not very good bullet points but anyway I like this headcannon I just don’t know much about asexual identity’s even though I think I am one don’t know which anyway kitty is asexual thank you
#bbc ghosts#ghosts bbc#kitty bbc ghosts#bbc ghosts kitty#kitty higham#Asexual#asexuality spectrum#asexual day#international asexuality day
98 notes
·
View notes