#saying it actually. Does make it feel worse but. it’s Not okay for me to Expect to. be the centre of attention all the time…

[hanjisungslag]

hiiii!! so sorryyy idk if you take requests BUTT could you do headcannons of being in an argument with the aot characters?

🗣️ aot characters & arguments

characters involved: eren, armin, mikasa, connie, jean, sasha, reiner, annie, bertolt, erwin, levi & hange

notes: i do take requests indeed!! :3 i luv angst, i hope this is gd♡

✧ eren jaeger - 

okay, when you guys argue it’s honestly more cute than anything because you’re both so protective of one another. neither of you wanted each other to join the scouts because it was so dangerous but, you both joined anyways obviously. oh my god, you guys non-stop bicker when there’s a mission! and don’t even get me started if you get put into different teams😭 you start TWEAKINGG. after he finds out he’s the attack titan, oh it gets 10x worse. his absolute biggest fear is losing control and hurting you - he’s already so conflicted, confused & felt like an outcast. he definitely lashes out more and becomes snappier than usual but, it does come from a place of sincerity.

when this happens, you just leave it be. as soon as it’s not just bickering anymore, when a voice is raised or an insult is made, you just leave it. you understand he’s going through a lot and just needs a minute but, TRUST ME! when you walk off, you make sure it is known that your feelings are hurt.

“i said no! you are not being on my team! im going with the levi squad, thats final.”

✧ armin arlert -

you both love each other very much but, goddamn you’re both so up your own arses! you are the ‘smart couple’ you are both strategic and witty and have your own way you go about things. so, when it comes to deciding whose plan is better, you always think yours is better and admin thinks his is better. this has (and probably always will be) the main root of your arguments, tbh. nobody likes to get involved either because if someone picks a side then even more havoc will break lose. the only people who’ve ever come between you two is: mikasa, levi & erwin.

it’s just like a debate, you know the ones on jubilee where it’s just people speaking over each other with different facts and sources? literally you two. you both would keep going until the end of time if you didn’t need to sleep, eat and drink water. it’s never that serious at the end of the day, you both love each other and i GUESS you can appreciate each others plans albeit you both think yours is better.

“if you actually listen to me when i say, my layout is better! look at how easy it is to manoeuvre from the castle to the forest!”

✧ mikasa ackerman -

wash the damn scarf. that is all you ask of her. she has literally never washed it and you love but jesus christ, stink LINGERS. not only do you think it’s weird she doesn’t wash it but, it’s also from eren… now, you know mikasa’s lore, of course. however, it’s really hard to get over your girlfriend having this deep love for this smelly scarf that her ex-crush gave to her after he literally saved her from being kidnapped. at first, you try to ignore it but it gets to a point where you sit down and talk to her but, she is not having it. she clearly cares very, very deeply for this scarf and will defend it. it’s really awkward conversation that slowly turns into raised voices and some opinionated things being raised.

“why are you getting jealous over a scarf? that’s so stupid! i just have fond memories with it!”

✧ connie springer -

again, not so much major arguments but just bickers. it usually starts as a joke but slowly but surely divulges into an argument about something stupid. one time, someone ate the last of jean’s meal that his mum made for him and he saved until today, obviously he was super upset and jokingly you blamed connie. at first, all was well, laughs were being heard and he even poked fun at you but, somewhere along the way it became more serious for you two, you genuinely suspected connie of eating jean’s meal and connie was getting visibly more upset.

“that was so not me! why are you telling them that?! i didn’t eat it, y/n!”

jean regretted asking who ate his food.

✧ jean kirstein -

jean is unfortunately a jealous guy. not for any malicious reasons, he’s just a bit insecure gang! he’s more scared that you’ll leave him for someone ‘better’ more than anything but, these feelings of insecurity manifest as jealously. he’d get jealous over you spending time with people like eren, mikasa or armin. in so many aspects, they’re better than him (in his eyes) and this will just make him reallyyy pissy. being in an argument with jean is painstakingly ambiguous like he never straight up says it, it’s always sly remarks or dry responses from him for a while. eventually, you know something is up and question him but he will avoid answering like the plague and it’s just so, so frustrating! eventually, when you break your calm demeanour, he will also break his ‘nonchalant-ness’ and just shout about how he feels.

he crossed his arms, “i just don’t understand why you need to be around him so much, you have me?”

✧ sasha braus -

absolutely nothing. i’m sorry but, she is too sweet and loving. IM SORRY, i’m sorry… i tried so hard to think of something but this queen is too perfect. at most, she would snap at you in high stress situations but she would never turn it into an argument. for example, if you told her to slow down her eating because you’re going on a mission but, she hasn’t eaten much that day she may snap and tell you to “let her do what she wants” but, she’s sooo quick to recover and apologise. literally not even giving you a second to even think about arguing with her!!

“ah, i’m sorry. you’re right, i don’t wanna be sick while flying through the air, huh?” she pouts.

✧ reiner braun -

you’re both from marley, you know damn well what you’re doing here but it seems reiner is straying off path. you’re there to try and remind him why you’re there and this leads to so many arguments. his split personality also plays a role in the arguments because it’s so.. scary and confusing for you because one moment he’s defending eldians than the next, he’s shouting at you about how he ‘knows the plan’.

when talking about stuff like this, since it’s extra sensitive for reiner he definitely flips out. i’m talking shouting, angry grunting, clenching his fists into balls and holding them against his forehead so he doesn’t fully crash tf out. he’s just as confused and scared as you are about his split personality but, he doesn’t want to seem weak or to seem like he’s losing sight of what is ‘right’ - it gets him really worked up. obviously, you stand your ground against him, he doesn’t scare you when you’re arguing. you’ve known him for so long.. you feel like he just needs to be guided.

“when did i ever say i liked them? yes, they’re okay people to be around for now but— no, i never said that! i know what they are, you don’t remind to tell me, y/n!”

✧ annie leonhart -

just the fact she’s cold and distant, it makes it really hard to actually have a relationship with her. at first, she was closed off COMPLETELY but cracks began to show and eventually, you thought you were at a good point with each other but, you kind of realised you didn’t know that much about annie. you try to ask questions to get her to open up but, she is one tough egg to crack so eventually, you just ask! hoping to help her more than anything but, this leads to an argument…

after this first argument, it became pretty regular like once every few weeks this would happen. you get super frustrated because she acts like she doesn’t even care! so, you’re shouting and getting really passionate while she sits there, looking pissed off and bored, rolling her eyes and scoffing. she doesn’t see the need to open up to you, she’s done what she thinks is ‘enough’ in her books.

“what do you want me to say? i’m not an open book, that’s just how i am. we’re all gonna end up dead, anyways.”

✧ bertolt hoover -

sigh… oh bert. every time you feel yourself developing further into your relationship with bert, his friends seem to pull him back. you’re still not quite sure why and they always seem to be giving side eyes or glances when he talks about his life - its starting to piss you off, rightfully so. you feel like he’s got two other side hoes watching yours and his every move! you being this up in subtle ways as to not seem like a crazy, jealous partner but eventually you burst and tell him how you really feel.

arguing with sweet bert isn’t fun because you can tell he tries so hard to please everyone in the situation, whether it’s you, him or now in this case, his friends too. he will raise his voice but, not in a bad way just in a general sense, things are getting heated, his voice will raise and he will fling his arms and hands. he’s a very expressive man when arguing because he is so passionate about it.

“y/n, they’re my friends! they’re just trying to protect me, why are you jealous?”

✧ erwin smith -

there’s so such things as arguments in your relationship, erwin likes to call them ‘mutual disagreements’ as your both in the scouts, he knows your time is limited. it’s a morbid and pessimistic way to think but, you have to be realistic when you live such a deadly lifestyle. he doesn’t want to take your time together for granted - plus, he’s a MAN like, he is calm and collected and will always hear you out.

you both start off calm, having a mature conversation about whatever it is that is bothering you but, when you start getting rowdier that’s when erwin quells the flames quickly. he takes a deep breath, hears you out and calmly walks you through it all. he’s so compassionate about it, i cant omg. he’ll gently place a hand over your own hand or on your shoulder if you’re standing, letting you know he’s present, he’ll sweetly talk you down, eventually calming you down and usually you’ll both say apologises or just general sweet statements and move on!

“i’m sorry, y/n. no, i’m glad you talked to me about this.”

✧ levi ackerman -

oh lord, being in an argument with levi ackerman is nawwtt fun. i’m sorry but, i’d kms if i argued with levi 😭. this man has such an awful resting bitch face as it is but, imagine his face when he’s arguing with you? IF LOOKS COULD KILL. he cant hide his emotions, so when you’re arguing even if he’s trying to be somewhat nice, his face says it all. usually he’ll roll his eyes and scoff if it’s something minor, he’ll hear you out, maybe give a half arsed apology or some sort of nice gesture to make sure you’re not upset however, if it’s a big issue oh brother…

silent treatment, i fear. he is so bad at communicating his feels correctly and often feels confused because this mf ain’t been in love before?! it gets too a point where he’s so mad, he just cant even begin to think of anything to say to you. you’ll be there raising your voice, becoming so passionate and when you ask what he thinks, he’ll say “i have nothing to say.” then boom, silent treatment. however, he’s bad with his words… but good with his actions. he still wants you to know he cares, you two could be in the most rancid moods but, you’ll go to your room and find your clothes ironed and folded🥲.

✧ hange zoë -

oh my sweet hange, my probably neurological challenged sweet hange… an argument with them would definitely stem from them spending more time with titans than you. when sawney and bean were around, you weren’t getting ANY time of day with them, trust. at first, you didn’t want to say anything because of course, you understand! the lifetime you guys are living in, things like hange’s research is soo important but, you can’t help but feel neglected sometimes.

when you finally bring it up, an argument ensues. neither of you really shout or anything, it’s just that kind of weird sort of raised, high pitched voice people get when you’re really frustrated. you both stay relatively calm for the situation you’re in but, you can totally tell you’re both so frustrated because hange just doesn’t see the problem. when you guys argue like this, it usually just goes in circles and after a while you both decide to mutually give up and leave it for another day.

“it’s all for science and the greater good of humanity though, i don’t understand?”

[cherie-doll]

Hey Cherie!! It’s been so long hehe I hope you’re well 💖

Can I request a How the COD men reacts when their s/o was called a nasty name like ‘stupid cunt’? Once again projecting myself a bit here, I always regret being stunned and not punching that idiot in the face 🙂‍↕️🫠

Hope you stay happy and blithe and healthy ✨✨

May you forever stay cheerful as well, my beloved <3

Speech like this just comes off as extremely repulsive and obscene to me and I feel deeply for anyone who's had to deal with this. I won't go into detail but just know whoever is reading that it deals with this sort of theme and please just scroll or avoid if you want.

𓏴𓏴 Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Roach, Alejandro, Rudy, Phillip Graves

Price

He does not let that fly in this base

Doesn't care if he gets called prude or mocked for not allowing it, he'd rather there be respect

Basic decency is something that is quite literally the bare minimum for soldiers

No way will he let you be dragged around with that filthy speech especially not when you're his s/o

He lets you know he'd gladly deal with it himself but you manage and tell him you'd like to take care of it

Ghost

He's not foreign to vulgar words or foul language but he isn't okay with it when it's used to degrade someone

He's heard it in public before but never has it been directed to you, seriously what was that guy thinking? That he could just say it in passing to you on the street and walk away like it was nothing?

Maybe he hadn't seen your tall masked boyfriend until he stopped and turned, heading to them and the look on their face

Eyes as big as saucers as Simon planned to rearrange their face

Soap

Quick, fiery temper strikes faster than a cobra

He's at their neck in an instant, trapping them in a death grip and staring daggers into them

He doesn't care that people are staring or that he could get the police called because he's shouting threats

And his anger won't subside afterwards, it leaves a stale feeling that has him crossing his arms and serious for the rest of the day

It had gotten him all riled up for the rest of the day that he's on the lookout for anyone else looking to insult you

Gaz

You've almost never seen Kyle get mad

Oh but he was furious, fire raging within him, knowing he was really about to do something when his jaw set hard and he went real silent

He didn't make a commotion, didn't shout or yell, just silently made his way over and took care of the problem

You didn't get to see what he did to the guy because he somehow made sure you didn't, and he wouldn't tell you either when you asked

Instead choosing to distract you with something else

Roach

He's not a fan of foul language and hates hearing it used even more but being around others so much he can't really avoid it

But the sentence that some idiot had the audacity to say to your face shocked him

How could they?

How much hatred could be within them that they're letting such words carelessly slip from their tongue?

He's worried about how you're feeling more than anything so he'll take you away before anything else could happen because he doesn't want you to show it hurt

Alejandro

Marking their grave as we speak

Don't be surprised if you see him already loading a gun

Oh boy, it's gonna be difficult to get him to calm down

He's cursing and throwing profanities much worse to the other person that they're already backing away fearing for their life

It would actually weigh down on him for a while and will get raging mad whenever he remembers

Rudy

Covering your ears immediately and glaring at the person who said that to you

He motions for someone else to take care of them while he asks if you're okay

Probably doesn't matter if you say yes or no, he focuses on not letting you dwell on those words

You're not those things and never will be, such words shouldn't be said to anyone else

And what do they know? He's shaking his head and sighing, doesn't know what to do with the anger

Phillip Graves

Yeah he allows cursing, hell he curses up a storm himself but this??

This is just unacceptable

This is the lowest form of using language incorrectly, the use of such words is as sickening as rotten food, can't imagine how much worse you would feel when it's said to your face

He's made sure to instill manners in his Shadows and he'll even send one home no matter how useful or great their skills are, but not everyone has had that great education and will freely no- carelessly use their speech for worse

Getting ready to drop a bomb on them or plan a quiet murder

[generational-atrophy]

OMG! I WAS LOOKING THROUGH UR BLOG CUZ MY HETALIA PHASE IS BACK AND WAS LIKE "I LOVE THIS WRITER SM WHERE ARE THEY" AND BOOM!

So request, if that's okay, the main 8 with a reader who cries during confrontations and or arguments. An imagine where ofc the main 8 says something hurtful and reader just covers their ears because 1.) Ears do be sensitive and 2.) It causes them to shut down completely

Can we know how they'd handle it plus how it'd go? Ty 💜

hetalia main 8 saying something they regret in an argument

2.8k words ~ gender neutral headcanons

tw: they say hurtful things, and are kind of assholes in general lol

America - Alfred F. Jones

“I’m better than this. Why’d I keep someone as seriously uncool as you around?!”

Even as you immediately begin turning away from him, curling into yourself for comfort, Alfred would be less than sympathetic. If you’d ever doubted how self-centred he could be, this was more than enough evidence to prove it.

“What? What- just- don’t do that! You’re the one who started this!”

It’s unlikely he’d let up even after the tears start. He’s really that callous when he feels hurt. After a few tense minutes of silence broken only by your quiet whimpering, he’d start tearing up too. Not from guilt, seeing how much he hurt you. But instead from how he’s only now realizing he has to put his own feelings aside to take care of yours.

He’d approach you like a rabid animal, a lump stuck in his throat as he tries to say anything to get you talking again.

“Listen, it’s uh- not that serious. I’m sorry, ok? Let’s just… like- do something else?”

His comforting consists mostly of trying to get you out of your own head. Once it’s been long enough that you’re less scared, he’d take your hands away from your ears gently and kiss your cheek. If you’re sensitive to other things, he’d wrap his jacket around your shoulders and turn off the lights until you’re up and talking again.

“See? Not that hard, just like I said. Good job, babe…  let’s just keep going like this, yeah?”

Somewhere, past all of the self-absorption and pride, he does have a heart. And that heart will immediately take you out to get ice cream. It’d take him a while to admit fault (and I mean real responsibility, not just his usual “sorry not sorry, move on,” schtick,) but maybe once your tear stains have dried, he’d realize what an ass he’d been.

England - Arthur Kirkland

“G*d, you’re pissing me off already! Just- fuck- get out of here if you hate us so much!”

Like usual. He’s desperate to just leave as soon as there’s conflict. It may be annoying, but at least he’s only doing it because he knows how awful he is when frustrated. 

If you don’t take up his offer to abandon the conversation, he will. You’d have to be seriously struggling to keep him with you in that moment.

“Trust me, everything will be much, much worse if I stay…”

He’s always acting like that. It’s like his conscience disappears when he speaks, but only returns when he’s already said the hurtful thing. Never taking responsibility, always panicking and leaving just as your tears start to fall.

But, the more you tell him how much that hurts, the more he might be willing to stay.

It’ll take him a while to be able to choke out a cowardly “sorry,” but at least he’ll stop trying to push you away at every occasion.

“Wait- don’t cry so much love, I’m- I… I didn’t mean it. Ok? Is that better?”

It’s impossible for him to keep arguing once you’re truly upset. Instead, he’ll take you by the hand to the kitchen so he can start making tea for the two of you. In that silence, he encourages you to speak whatever awful thoughts you’re repeating to yourself. He’s just trying to get you in a comfortable environment again at that point.

Quiet affirmations are the only things he’ll bring, looking at you sympathetically and still holding your hand tight while you talk about whatever you want to. Whether that be something completely random, insults towards him, or actual constructive discussion is up to you.

At the end of the night, he’ll apologize. Not well, mind you, but enough to dissuade you from whatever hurt you earlier. All that matters to him is that you don’t go to bed upset.

“I’ll do better next time… or- I mean- I’ll do my best to… not be like that… again. Promise.”

France - Francois Bonnefoy

“But is it that impossible for you to put in some effort? It’s just… embarrassing to be with you right now!”

He’s always been a fighter for sport. When he argues with you, it’s not to prove a point. It’s probably not about anything he actually cares about either. He honestly just does it for fun. To him, arguing is how you really get to know someone.

So when you take his words to heart and, in the worst case, start crying, he just really doesn’t know what to do.

“Merde, darling, you know I wasn’t being serious! Come on now, don’t take it so personally…”

He may grumble about how he didn’t want you to get so upset, but at least he’ll still calm down and quit pushing you. Whatever tension there was before will dissipate as soon as he sighs, making his way over to you and wrapping you in his embrace. Unless that makes you even more uncomfortable, in which case he’ll just grab your favourite blanket and gently drape it over your shoulders.

“I am so sorry I made you so upset, I really didn’t mean it. You’re wonderful to me, always so stunning!”

For as long as you need him to, he’ll apologize over and over again, playing with your hair and wiping away your tears as delicately as he can manage. He may be just as upset as you are when he realizes what he did, but he’s shockingly good at compartmentalizing that when you need support.

But, if you focus too much on how he hurt you, he might start crying too. He can’t help it. Ignore him.

Either way, he’s there to hold you and validate you in whatever you might be feeling at that moment. Be as irrational as you need to be,  he understands the urge well. And either way, he’ll just nod along to anything you say and insist it’s everyone else's fault. Including his, unlike basically every other man.

“How can you expect to survive when you hold all of this in? Please, always come to me even with small things, we share everything as lovers, yes? I cannot bear to see you as upset as this…”

China - Yao Wang

“Can’t you act your age? How do you expect anyone to put up with you like this?!”

As soon he says it, he knows that was an awful thing to say. He doesn’t need you to tell him, he can tell just by your expression that it was too far. You didn’t deserve that, he told himself.

But that doesn’t mean his ego is gonna let him give in so easily. Even if he was an ass, he still can’t let himself give up “authority” in a fight.

“Agh- that’s not… its not what I mean to say, alright?! So just… pretend I did not….”

If you quit fighting, instead becoming more upset, he’ll really struggle to calm down instead. Like, yes, he knows he should be trying to make you feel better, but that’s- he just doesn’t want to! He entered this fight with a purpose, and just because you’re crying doesn’t make that purpose any less important!

“Why won’t you argue back?! Aiyah, I knew you were childish but-”

Then he cuts himself off. Does he want to be the bigger person and apologize? No. But will he do it if you stop crying? Yes.

He’ll rest a hand on your arm and suggest in the gentlest voice possible that the two of you should go for a walk. Maybe the fresh air will help both of you clear your heads. He doesn’t know what must’ve happened to him to make him say all of those things either.

“I don’t think those thoughts, tiánxīn. I’m sorry I said it, I was upset but… I still should have known better.”

For as quickly as he’s willing to take responsibility, he’s not as much good at the “getting you out of breakdown” stage. Hopefully, you’ve already communicated with him about that so he knows to stop being so loud and trying to touch you. He’ll do whatever you request of him, but what’s best for you in that moment is probably not his first instinct.

“I’m sorry I was being such a huge ass. I love you, I promise.”

Russia - Ivan Braginsky

“You think you are special? I can beat sense into you just like I can them!”

Good luck getting him to understand that you can’t just threaten people within the next few hours. It will not work. When he’s angry, he really doesn’t care about feelings. Just about getting you to cooperate with whatever he says.

He may usually think of both of you as equals, but when you start seriously challenging his authority while he’s in a bad mood, it’s impossible for him to not be cruel. It’s always just better to leave than let him spiral and hurt both of you in the process

Although, he (obviously) would never actually put his hands on you. He just acts like a big baby and’ll stomp his feet and tell you whatever will get the most reaction out of you.

“Любимый, won’t you come out? I’m very sorry, I promise… can’t we just talk?”

But if you do remove yourself from the situation, he would never chase after you and force you to keep being in that awful environment. He knows better than that at least.

The moment you turn away and refuse to engage with his childishness, he’s already planning how to get you to forgive him. For as callous as it seems, your disapproval hurts him more than anything else. He would come to you on his knees, snivelling and pleading,  if that was what he had to do just for you to look at him again

The moment you let him in though, he just rushes over and captures you in his arms. He would dry your tears as gently as he could, treating you like you were made of glass.

“Куколка, куколка, you know I never mean any of that, right? I’m sorry, sorry, please- please, forgive me? If I kiss it better, will you forgive me, любимый?”

He’s so pathetic. Ask anything of him in this state and he’ll do it without hesitation. Unless it’s staying away physically. He’ll be quiet and let you ignore him but don’t try to push him away or he’ll get whiney. If you stress that it isn’t personal enough, maybe he’ll let it go though.

North Italy - Feliciano Vargas

“Why aren’t I good enough? You always abandon me, like-  like I’m nothing! Why do you hate me!?”

The moment either of you pick a fight, he’s already sobbing. Sure, he can argue with his brother for hours, but you matter to him in a much more vulnerable way. If you’re at all upset with him, he instantly feels like you don’t like him any more.

But when he feels attacked, he attacks just as much. In his subconscious, it’s always easier to push you away than have you abandon him yourself. That doesn’t result in very productive conversations, though.

“You’re just pretending you love me! You’re a liar, I- I know it!”

When you start crying along with him from all the awful things he’s said, two things can happen.

One, he cries harder, interpreting your hurt feelings as being an admittance to what he accused you of. Why would you be crying if it wasn’t from guilt, and why’d he say that when he so dreaded it being true?!

Or two, you’ll tell him about how truly terrible it feels to have him think those things about you, and he’ll snap out of it. His overwhelming emotions make him incredibly selfish at the moment, so he truly hadn’t considered how you felt from all of that.

Then he immediately lowers his voice, giving you plenty of space until you feel up to talking again. 

“Oh… I’m sorry! I didn’t- you wouldn’t do that! I know that, you know that, so just- I’m sorry! Please, forgive me, amore mio dolce!”

He pulls you into a hug immediately, keeping the two of you as close as physically possible as he whispers promise after promise of his love. Until your tears dry, he won’t stop strangling you with unabashed affection, doing anything he can just to get you smiling again.

The feeling of guilt is not something he’s used to. It’s not out of the realm of possibility that he’ll start crying again too.

“If I ever make you feel bad again, please shut me up, please! I can’t take the thought of you so hurt by my words!”

Germany - Ludwig Beilschmidt

“My word should be more than enough for you to shut up already!”

It’s exceedingly rare that he ever loses his temper around you like that. Normally, you’re the one thing that can always calm him down. Just looking at your face makes his chest fill with butterflies, drowning out whatever dark thoughts he’s having.

So, needless to say, he immediately regrets snapping at you. Immediately.

“Wait, no- no, I didn’t mean to say that. I didn’t mean to. It’s not true, just- just stupid, I’m sorry, liebling…”

Whatever you two were arguing about is instantly forgotten as he rushes over to you and takes your face in his hands. It just breaks his heart to see you hurt, much more at his own actions. You don’t have to worry about him taking responsibility, he would never try to dodge the guilt of making you cry.

It’s not the first time he’s lost control, and he knows it’s his fault. But maybe if he takes you in his arms gently enough, rocking you back and forth as you cry into his shoulder, it’ll make it a little easier for you.

But if you just need a silent moment to yourself, that’s perfectly fine too. He’s autistic, so he certainly understands the feeling and will happily provide you with whatever comforting items you request.

“I’m sorry… you didn’t deserve what I said. I love you, please tell me you know that…”

Even if you pretend you weren’t that upset by it, Ludwig wouldn’t let it go like that. If he gets to his breaking point like that, whatever fight you were having is put aside for the night. Now all that matters to him is that the two of you make up and get back into how things were before as soon as possible.

Expect him to be beating himself up for a while though. He just wants you to know how sorry he is, how much he regrets snapping at you, even if it does seem a bit excessive. But he’s just had too many people he cared about leave to not make a whole thing out of it.

Japan - Kiku Honda

“Don’t you have any sense of personal space? You are like- choking me with all of… you! I can’t stand it!”

He’s a logical man. That’s one thing he always tells himself. Never, not even when he’s emotional, does he say things he doesn’t mean. Was the way he said it less than perfect? Yes, of course, he can’t believe he had just acted so impolitely, especially to someone who he cares so much for. But he still… meant what he said.

But, for the first time, as he watches your face break slowly, he’s not so sure of himself. Whether he meant it or not seems suddenly so inconsequential compared to the thought of hurting you. He… upset you? That wasn’t supposed to happen.

“Ah- why are you crying? What is wrong? You… you- it will be… alright, you know? You are ok!”

Wait- no, don’t cry more from that! He has absolutely no idea how to comfort you, but if he really has to, he’ll do his best. Although it’s a little difficult for him to resist drawing your hands away from your ears, he’ll do his best to just let you have your process (no matter what that means for you.)

Before you can even hear him coming closer, you’re suddenly drawn into an intimate hug. His hand drawing your head underneath his and kissing the crown of your head so lovingly, it's almost like another person possessed him as he turns so soft just at the sight of your tears

Would his pride usually reject this? Yes, but, it’s certainly not the first time he’s had to put that aside for you.

He’ll sputter generic apologies, purposefully hiding his grimace as he forces himself to forget about whatever you two were arguing about before. Well, at least for now. Most likely he’ll bring it up not long after, but in a much more… non-confrontational way.

“Let us go do something else instead, hm? You’ll only get more upset like this, and I want that as little as you want it.”

On one hand, he’s a little annoyed he had to put aside his own gripes to calm you down. But on the other hand, he hates conflict. Anything that gets you guys back to normal is worth it, especially if otherwise you’ll be crying in his arms. That’s his absolute nightmare.

[estrellami-1]

Worth It

Listen.

Steve can deal with a lot, okay? He’s taken on Russian soldiers and interdimensional monsters and Billy fucking Hargrove, for Christ’s sake.

He’s strong and capable and he knows that. He does. Okay?

So the spider in the shower isn’t why he fell, tearing down the shower curtain in the process. Of course not.

Except… maybe it is.

And it’s not like spiders remind him of the Mind Flayer. They don’t, and he knows that’s done and over with. Henry’s dead and the gates are sealed. So that’s not it.

It’s just… spiders.

He hates them. He doesn’t really have a reason. There’s no traumatic childhood story. They’re just creepy and they freak him the fuck out.

He’s thankful he’s alone in his house, because having someone run up and see him sprawled on the floor, dick out, because of a spider would actually make this the worst day of his life.

So he’s safe this time. He was mostly finished with his shower anyways, so he grabs his towel and dries off in his room, but.

But.

Who’s to say the spider won’t crawl into his room? Into his bed? Who’s to say it won’t just follow him around the house, turning up on the couch cushion next to him, or on the coffeemaker.

His breath stutters in his chest.

No. He needs this spider gone. And he needs to be sure it’s gone for good. He has to kill it.

Come on. Come on. He killed demogorgons and demodogs and bit a demobat’s head off. He can kill a spider.

He gets dressed. Grabs a shoe.

Stalls on the edge, where the carpet meets the vinyl.

He steps back, paces around, charges at the bathroom.

Stalls on the edge, where the carpet meets the vinyl.

Come on, he thinks. “Come on,” he says. It’s just a spider.

It’s not like he’s gonna call anyone. Everyone he knows wouldn’t be able to stop laughing long enough to help him.

Except…

“‘Lo?” Eddie says.

“Eddie,” Steve says.

He can hear the smile in Eddie’s voice when he speaks next. “Hey, Steve. What’s up?”

“Um,” Steve says. “Are you busy?” His voice sounds high, thready. Anxious.

A pause. “Is everything okay?”

Steve blows out a breath. “I- I need help, okay, and you’re the only one who I think wouldn’t immediately laugh at me. Can- can you come over?”

“Yeah,” Eddie says, still concerned. “Yeah, of course, I’ll be right over.”

He is. Steve spends his time waiting on the edge of the bathroom, running downstairs when Eddie knocks.

“Hey,” he says, trying and failing to make it sound like everything’s fine.

“Hey.” Eddie’s brows are furrowed. “What’s wrong? What do you need help with?”

Steve huffs out a stressed laugh, running fingers through his hair and tightening, pulling for a second. “Listen, I know this is- it’s embarrassing, okay, I know it is, I’ve- I’ve survived so much worse, and I know realistically it probably can’t even hurt me, but.” He bites his lip. Can’t look at Eddie. Leads him upstairs instead, stops at the threshold to the bathroom. “There’s a spider,” he mutters.

Eddie looks into the bathroom. Sees the curtain and puddle of water on the floor. Puts a hand on Steve’s shoulder, squeezes slightly. “Stay here,” he murmurs. “Where is it?”

“In the shower. Corner.” His eyes squeeze shut. “I- I know it’s nothing. But… be safe.”

“Hey.” Eddie nudges his arm. Steve opens his eyes. Eddie’s right in front of him, smiling softly, brows still furrowed a little. Worried for Steve. “Would it be better for you if you were out of the room?”

He thinks about it. Shakes his head. Eddie smiles, nods, and steps into the bathroom.

The door is blocking Steve’s view, but he can hear Eddie just fine.

“Hey, little mister,” Eddie says. “Listen, I know the bathroom’s a cool place, but you pervin’ on him isn’t really gonna fly with either of us. Sorry, but you’re getting evicted.” His boots stomp around, grabbing toilet paper, before moving back over to the shower. “Sorry,” he says again, before a light thump reverberates through the room. Steve feels it in his chest.

Eddie flushes it, washes his hands, and smiles at Steve. “Want me to check for more anywhere?”

Steve shakes his head, wraps his arms around himself. “Thank you.”

“Not a problem,” Eddie promises. He nods to the shower curtain. “Did you fall? Or just pull it down?”

Steve shakes his head. “Fell.”

“Are you okay? Any bumps or scratches anywhere?”

Steve blinks, takes stock. “Um. My- elbow, I guess, but it’s just a bruise.”

Eddie smiles, extends a hand. Stops before he touches Steve. “Mind if I check?”

Steve wordlessly holds his arm out. Eddie gently prods his elbow, feeling around. He smiles at Steve again. He’s still holding on. “All good,” he murmurs. “Anything else you need? I don’t mind looking around.”

Steve shakes his head. “It’s okay. I shouldn’t- I don’t need that. Can I thank you with a beer?”

“If you want to, sure, but I’m willing to call this a favor for a friend.” He inclines his head. “Mind grabbing it for me? I’m just gonna look around in here for a minute, make sure none of his buddies got in.” When Steve hesitates, Eddie puts his knuckles to Steve’s chin. “Hey,” he says softly. “I’ll be fine. How about you get us both a beer and sit in the living room. By the time you do that, I’ll be downstairs. Okay?”

“Okay,” Steve murmurs. “Thank you.”

Eddie chuckles, steps away. “Anytime, Stevie. Now out!” He cries, shooing Steve out of his own room, shutting the door behind him for good measure.

Steve laughs, walks downstairs. He’s still a little on edge, but he doesn’t see another spider.

Eddie’s true to his word; he’s been sitting on the couch for about a minute by the time Eddie comes thundering down the stairs. “My liege!” He exclaims, coming to kneel before Steve. “I hereby proclaim your quarters to be pest-free!”

Steve laughs. “My hero,” he says dryly, sitting forward to tap Eddie on both his shoulders with his beer. “I, uh, hereby proclaim you Sir Spider Killer.”

Eddie grins up at him, takes his beer, and sits on the couch next to Steve. “Do me a favor?”

Steve hums.

“You ever see one again, and you wanna call someone. You can call me.”

“I shouldn’t need that-”

“Shouldn’t or otherwise, you do,” Eddie tells him. “And I’d like to make your life easier if I can. So if that means coming over here and taking care of any creepy-crawlies that find their way in, then that’s that. I will, and I’ll do so gladly.”

Steve looks away, picks at the label of his beer. “Why do you care?”

“Because you’re worth it,” Eddie whispers. “You deserve it.”

Steve shuts his eyes. “What if you’re the only person who thinks that?”

“I’m not,” Eddie says immediately. “And Robin would probably inflict bodily harm on you if she knew you were talking like this. But even if I am… that doesn’t make it less true. It’s still true. You still deserve it. You’re still worth it. Not because of anything you’ve done, or who you are. It’s just because you are.”

Steve sighs out a shaky breath. “Okay,” he whispers. “If you say so.”

“I do.” He squeezes Steve’s shoulder. “Now, the only question is, what are we going to watch?”

[jingooism]

breathless

panic attacks were normal. they were a part of life. or at least that's what joowon had to tell himself. 

he's been riddled with them since he was a child. it started with the yelling between his mother and his father, so loud that even behind his closed door he could hear. his small hands over his ears did nothing to shut out the harsh tones. he began to withdraw, staying quiet and to himself to avoid any confrontation, especially from his father. when his mother dies, it only gets worse. 

then came school, where joowon sat by himself in the corner of the room, quietly hoping that one day someone would sit down with him. it never came. by the time middle school came around he had the reputation of being cold and mean, but little did they know he was like that because of them. 

he graduated school at the top of his class, then college, and now he has a full-time job. given, not the one he would have wanted--if han joowon could be anything it would be a photographer. a nature photographer to be specific. nothing calms him like being near the water. 

his weekends usually consist of long drives to the coast, where he likes to sit on the sand and read by himself. the fresh air and the sounds of the waves always does him a load of good. 

he tries to picture his favorite spot, just close enough to the dunes to not be affected by the tides but still close enough to be able to dip his toes in if he decided to. he thinks of the big uneven rocks that he likes to walk on during low-tide, the small island that only reveals itself an hour a day. he wonders how peaceful life would be if he could live there, away from everyone else. nothing works, though. when he goes to run his fingers through the sand he's met with the cold marble of his bathroom floor. when he strains his ears for the sound of the ocean, all he can hear is the gasps of his own breath. 

it's the worst attack he's had in a while, all because he thought he saw his father in the crowd. his father, who wasn't even in the country, was too busy trying to make connections somewhere that wasn't korea. the gray hair was the same, the harsh line of his spine under a well-tailored suit was the same, everything was too similar. joowon barely got through the rest of his shift. 

which is why now he's here, in his own bathroom, trying to not die. and the small rational part of his brain knows that he isn't going to actually die at this moment, but he can't get past how real it feels. his hands are clammy, his heart rate is through the roof, the walls are closing in. it feels like hell. he rushes to call hyeok, the only person who had ever had success in getting his breathing under control. his best friend picks up after one ring. 

"yah! han joowon! it's been days since you last called. did you forget about me?"

"hyung," joowon gasps into the phone.

"joowon? what's going on, are you okay?" his friend's voice goes serious in an instant. "are you having a panic attack?" joowon can distantly hear the sound in the background of the call fade away, like hyeok is walking away from a crowd. 

"it's bad," joowon admits, slightly ashamed. even though hyeok is his closest friend, he still hasn't been able to beat out the instinctive shame he feels at someone seeing him in a weak moment. "i can't breathe, hyung," he forces air into his lungs and feels not a single ounce of relief. 

"let's calm your breathing down okay? breathe in for 8 counts, hold for 3, and then breathe out of your mouth for 7. like we used to do."

joowon nods like hyeok can see him, and tries. he really tries. and for a second he thinks it might be working and then a loud crash floats through the wall from the apartment next door and his muscles tense up again. 

"are you at home, joowon-ah?" hyeok is starting to sound panicked too, and joowon feels bad for making him worry. 

"yes," joowon whispers. 

"i'm calling an ambulance," hyeok says firmly. 

"hyung, no--"

"no, joowon. i'm five hours away and there's no one else to help you. i'm calling," hyeok cuts him off. joowon feels stupid for even calling him, completely forgetting that he's away on a business trip. "i'll call you right back," he hangs up before joowon can argue.

the seconds stretch into what feels like hours, joowon's heartbeat still stuttering in his chest, fingers digging into the soft fabric of his sleep pants. his vision starts to go fuzzy at the edges when hyeok calls him back. he swipes his phone across the screen to answer. 

"they're on their way," hyeok soothes. 

"okay," he replies quietly, dropping his head between his knees. "just talk to me, please."

"what to talk about," hyeok wonders out loud. "i've been rubbing elbows with annoying business men all day, joowon-ah. my social battery is depleted," he complains. 

"are you drinking?"

"if i didn't i would've went back to the hotel hours ago," hyeok laughs. 

their mindless conversation goes on until joowon finally feels something get lighter in his chest, signalling that hopefully the worst of it has passed. he hears the beep of his door code being entered and the lock turning open. 

"you gave them my code?" joowon asks. 

"it was an emergency," hyeok scoffs. "i don't wanna hear it."

"han joowon-ssi?" a voice calls into the hallway. footsteps shuffle around for a second before they come right up on the bathroom door, two knocks echoing through the space. "han joowon-ssi? this is sfd, we got a call that you weren't feeling too good."

"in here," he says weakly, fatigue seeping through his bones. attacks always make him exhausted by the end. 

the door swings open to show three paramedics, the bright orange uniform looking odd against the neutrals of his home. the older man in the middle crosses the bathroom and kneels in front of him so they're face to face. 

"han joowon-ssi? i'm lee dongsik, and that's park jeongje, and oh jihwa," he gestures to his colleagues. "we're just here to make sure you're alright, okay?" his voice was calm enough to soothe the frayed edges of joowon's nerves. he pulls out a pen and shines it into joowon's eyes, "pupils are even and reactive." he leans a bit into joowon's space, enough that joowon is forced to really look at him and realize just how handsome he is. 

lee dongsik looked older, definitely at least a decade older than him. his hair was slightly long, just past his ears, and fell in shiny black waves. if joowon wasn't mistaken there were threads of silver in it. he's got lines around his eyes and his mouth that tell joowon that lee dongsik has lived a life of happiness, one where he was obviously smiling a lot. he smelled like cheap aftershave mixed with something else that joowon couldn't put his finger on. and now his heart is beating for a whole other reason. 

"can i take your pulse?" lee dongsik asks, hand hovering over joowon's wrist, waiting for his consent. all joowon can think to do is nod.

he tries not to react at the spark he feels at the skin on skin contact, already embarrassed enough that the hottest man he's ever seen is seeing him like this. "do you normally have panic attacks?" dongsik asks, looking at the bulky black watch on his wrist. 

"i've had them in the past, yes," joowon nods. he sees dongsik nod once and place his wrist back down to his lap. joowon mourns the touch immediately and wants to kick himself for it. 

dongsik turns to his team, "looks like things are evening out. we should be fine to load the truck back up," he gestures to the equipment in their hands. they nod with a knowing look and turn around to do as he's asked. 

"do you want to go to the hospital?" dongsik looks back at joowon, gaze fully locked in on his. 

"no," joowon quickly says. "i think the worst has passed."

"let's get you up off the floor then," dongsik grins, something small and bright that shouldn't knock joowon off his ass but does anyways. the older man stands up first and reaches his hand down to joowon.

joowon only second guesses for a moment before taking the hand offered to him and allowing himself to be pulled up. lee dongsik's hands are slightly rough, calluses probably gained from long days on the job. they fit into joowon's own hands perfectly. he tries not to think of it. 

joowon doesn't even want to imagine how he looks to dongsik right now, hair probably mussed, sleep clothes in disorder. he brushes his hair down self-consciously, and doesn't miss the way dongsik's lip twitches up.

"can i have my hand back?" dongsik laughs, eyes falling to where their palms are still fitted together. joowon hadn't even realized, dropping the other man's hand and trying to fight off the blush that he felt start to spread at the base of his neck. "not that i minded, but i do need both hands to write the report," dongsik reassures. 

"not that you--" joowon clears his throat, the words that fell from the other man's lips replaying in his head. not that he minded? what does that mean? is he flirting? "no, of course, yeah that makes sense." he brushes past dongsik into the living room where he sits, still feeling tired from the attack. his heart rate wasn't fully back down and neither was his breathing, but at least it didn't feel like he was at death's door. 

in the brighter light of the living room, joowon sees all of dongsik. he's slightly shorter than joowon himself, with a build that was definitely more lean. his belt was buckled around an absurdly small waist, and his thighs filled out the black work slacks beautifully. joowon feels his ears start to ring again. just his luck that the paramedic on the scene is something straight out of his teenage wet dreams. 

there's a silence in the room that joowon desperately feels the need to fill, wanting dongsik's attention turned back to him and not the notepad he was currently writing on. which is why, like an idiot, he blurts out, "do you come here often?" as soon as the words leave his mouth he feels wracked with mortification. 

dongsik looks up at him, a smirk on his lips, the pen twirling between long fingers, "do i come to your apartment often? sadly, no, i don't." 

oh. 

oh.

"i've been to this building plenty of times, though. it's a shame we haven't run into each other till now."

joowon's head is too busy sounding like a ten-car pileup that he barely registers the words. lee dongsik was definitely flirting with him. joowon flicks his eyes down to an empty ring finger and silently thanks god for it. 

"a shame, yes," he stutters, trying to make his brain work normally. it's obviously failing because dongsik's smile just keeps spreading across his lips. 

"you live here by yourself?" dongsik questions, voice too light and airy to not have an underlying question in it. he looks back down at the notepad and clears his throat before continuing the report. 

"yes," joowon says, hopefully not too quickly. "my friend was the one that called, but he's away on a trip."

"a good friend," dongsik nods.

"only a friend," joowon announces, tongue not in his control. he's not sure where all this forwardness is coming from, but he does know that dongsik's ears are burning, which has to be a good sign. "not that you asked, but..."

"good to know," his gaze meets joowon's again. "you know, just in case we have to ever come back here." there's a mirth in his eyes that joowon finds himself reading into. maybe this almost dying thing was finally paying off. 

"of course," joowon's lips start to turn up. "you know my door code now, so."

"i'll only use it for emergencies, scout's honor," dongsik holds three fingers up and plasters a too serious look on his face. "but try not to need me, han joowon. my line of work isn't one where i want to see you every day," he laughs, showing off the deep smile lines in full force. joowon notes his perfect teeth and the crow's feet that crinkle around his eyes. they make him feel giddy. 

"i'll try," joowon nods. he stands up to reach into his work vest that's hanging nearby, pulling out his officer card with his name and department on it. "here, in case you ever find yourself in need of help," he smiles softly, inwardly cheering when dongsik takes the card and examines it before tucking it gently into his breast pocket. "though hopefully you won't."

"a man in uniform," dongsik purses his lips approvingly, nodding his head. "what precinct do you work with?"

"i'm out of headquarters," joowon answers. dongsik whistles under his breath. 

"smart and handsome? it's almost unfair," dongsik grins, getting up from the couch and closing his notepad. "is this your direct line?" he pats the pocket on his chest with the card.

"my personal and my work phone. feel free to use either," joowon blushes, sticking his hands in his pockets to hide his fidgeting. "though i prefer you use the personal."

"i think i'll prefer that too," dongsik beams. 

a voice comes through on his radio and dongsik responds, his team is being called elsewhere. 

"i have to go but," dongsik looks unsure for a second before gently grabbing joowon's hand in his own. joowon doesn't even have time to process what's going on until he feels the smooth drag of ink across his skin and looks down to see a phone number there. 

"my personal," dongsik explains, color high on his cheeks. "make sure to use it." he opens the front door again and is almost through before he turns back to joowon, who had been looking between the palm of his hand and the man, mouth ajar. "my day off is tomorrow," he winks, throwing his bag over his shoulder and finally leaving the apartment. 

joowon doesn't even have to think about it before he texts his chief that he's calling in sick. 

[azaharinflames]

I fell into the deepest depression I’ve had for years when Buck and Tommy broke up. I just wanted to cry so badly but decades of trauma kept me from doing that. Add on that Trump had just been re-elected, and add in that my Dad had been admitted to hospital with a collapsed lung it just took me down.

I’ve mostly gotten over it. I spent 24 hours writing my idea of a fix it fic (won’t happen on show cause they all suck but it was cathartic). I can’t remember what caused my breakdown but I did end up crying. My eyes felt less puffy after as well.

I understand that it’s a fake relationship in a fake show but something about it spoke to me. And just watch it end hurt me worse. The last time I had actually cried hard was in 2021 when my mother-in-law passed away from COVID. So why did this stupid relationship affect me so much. I feel embarrassed for reacting this badly. I don’t even like to talk to my partner about it because he wouldn’t understand.

Hi, Nonnie! Thank you for your ask.

I am so, so sorry to read that. Listen - it's not stupid. It's not embarrassing So don't think your feelings surrounding it and your reaction to any of it is that, because I promise you: nothing about it should make you feel embarrassed.

Here is the thing: Art, in whatever form, is one of the things that move people the most, historically*. Art is a universal language that doesn't simply exist in a painting or a sculpture but in a myriad of different forms that, especially in the last few decades, have expanded immensely. Art can be a channel for our emotions, can be our choice of escapism, can be the thing we see ourselves reflected in and thus, the thing that we connect to because, hey - that's us. And if we see 'us' overcoming on screen, surely we can overcome in real life, right? That's one of the reasons why representation is so damn important.

Yeah, it was a relationship. But it shouldn't be reduced to just that. Instead of dismissing our feelings by making our issue seem nonsensical and small, let's think - my issue was because a piece of Art I connected to deeply was dealt with in a damaging way. And that carries consequences.

There is also the fact that, I think, for a lot of us, it was more than the break-up. The biggest thing to take into context was the election because it is just a matter of fact that we needed a win so bad that week, and we got the opposite of that. To get a bit more personal, I was already dealing with my town being hit with the worst natural disaster in my country this century, still had to hear from some of my friends to know if they were okay or even alive (fortunately, they're all fine), and I was seeing only tragedy whenever I went online. So this happening hit me really hard as well - but, like you, it was one of the things. Still, I spent three days barely able to take a bite and barely able to sleep, and a week with really high anxiety.

And sure, I did feel silly, but if I do love one thing, I sure do love introspection, I reached the aforementioned conclusion and reflection on Art (let me know if it helped or is a bunch of bs tho).

I think what you're doing, writing a fix-it fic, is amazing! You're channeling your feelings through Art, and I am sure it does feel very cathartic. I haven't written for 911 yet (definitely want to, I have some ideas that could work), but I have some years of writing for Marvel and Seblaine (Glee) on my back, so trust me when I say this is the better choice you could do - channel your feelings through your Art, and you will end up with something beautiful, I'm sure of it.

Sorry this was too long, but I'm here if you (or anyone else) needs to rant, vent, or discuss something (911 or whatever, something else is valid as well)

Take care, Nonnie <3 and all of you as well <3

*I have a bachelor's on this, please trust me on it lmao

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️

90 for 🌤️:

---

“Yeah, I am,” Chris says. “And I agree with this Imposter Buck, so please just be honest with me.”

“I’m not an imposter!” Buck nearly squawks. 

Eddie sighs.

“Okay,” Buck admits. “Maybe I am, a little.”

“What does that mean?” Chris demands. 

“It means…” Eddie makes an exasperated noise. “It means we’re not from here or now. We’re still us. We just… Don’t belong here?” 

Chris looks as puzzled by this explanation as Buck has felt all day. “What does that mean? Where are you from?”

“2024,” Buck says. 

Christopher’s jaw drops. 

“He’s going to think we’re crazy,” Eddie grits out. 

“Yeah, maybe a little,” Chris agrees, eyes very wide. 

“We… We don’t know Nico, Chris. We’re not married. We’re not even together,” Buck says. “I just broke up with Tommy. You know Tommy, right? How much is different here?”

Chris wrinkles his nose. “Yes, I remember Tommy. Is this a prank?”

“No, definitely not  a prank,” Eddie says. 

“And you can’t tell Nico,” Buck pleads. “We don’t want to scare him.”

“I didn’t want to scare you, either,” Eddie says quietly. 

Christopher’s expression changes, like a lightbulb has gone off. 

“2024?” He asks. 

Eddie and Buck both nod. 

“That’s why…” Chris exhales. “That’s why you both cried. I’m gone. I’m still gone, aren’t I?” 

Buck looks at the floor. 

“Yeah,” Eddie mutters. “You are.”

“Shit,” Chris exhales. 

They both flinch a little, unfamiliar with that sort of language out of his mouth. 

“Dad…” Chris says. “I-”

“It’s okay if you’re pissed at me,” Eddie says quickly. “I know I’m not your dad that you were expecting and I’m obviously worse than him, so-”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Chris interrupts. 

Buck looks at Eddie, uncertain what the answer will be. Somedays, he’s open about Chris. About how much he misses him. About everything that happened. Others? Well, others, it’s like walking on eggshells. He never knows what will send Eddie into a dark place. When he’d come over to find Eddie pantsless and seemingly happy, he’d been blown away. 

“Yeah,” Eddie says. “Yeah, I want to talk about it.”

Buck feels a wash of relief. Thank god. 

“I’ll watch Nico,” Buck assures them. 

Then he turns and walk towards Nico’s room, giving them space. 

🌤️

They sit outside in a backyard Eddie didn’t realize he had. It’s nice. Not overly spacious, but set up with furniture and comfortable-looking. That must be all Buck, Eddie thinks. He can imagine being married to Buck means hosting dinner parties and barbecues more than he might personally choose to. He imagines he’d complain, but secretly love it. Eddie tries not to think about it. He’s not actually married to Buck. 

“So what’s the last day you remember?” Chris asks when they sit down. There’s a stiffness between them that Eddie can’t quite gauge. Is it because Chris is angry Eddie is the wrong Eddie? Or is it because Chris is still angry about everything else. Eddie wouldn’t blame him if he is. What Eddie did probably earned Chris a lifetime of trauma. 

“Um, November 7th, 2024? Or 8th? I can’t remember if we went to sleep after midnight or before.”

“That’s… That’s kind of a shame,” Chris sighs. “If only you’d decided to time travel a few months later.” 

“I didn’t decide… Wait, what?” Eddie frowns. “Why? Why a few months later?”

[angelnumber27]

I dont think some people understand how truly awful and hellish withdrawals from some psych medications are.

[moeblob]

Erin, to her crush: You're a dick

Mason, the crush: I won't argue! But to clarify -

[ratatatastic]

lmaoooo maffhew wanting the knot immediately and having to wait for sasha to catch up with that is so deeply funny like. this omega is not subtle and you’re not a stupid alpha babe! can only imagine what benny has to say to maffhew about it once he catches on and stops banging his head against a wall

idiots to lovers is always great but especially when its two people who would be hitched with 10 kids by now if they stopped being dumb for a single second like its that easy and yet...

to me they very much fall around the same time (infatuation at first scent if you will) just that sasha takes some time to get there not because he's dumb (okay he's a little dumb) but in the sense that its like "this person is very interested in me, i can see and recognise that but theres so much cognitive dissonance in my brain right now between knowing that intrinsically and finding that hard to believe so i unintentionally play dumb because obviously i'm reading too much into things it cant be me they're interested in haha that'd crazy but they're being awfully touchy and flirty with me wow"

but also it takes two to tango and we have to acknowledge that and this is when i would love to bring up the ways in which this man decides is the best way to go about that because he is a catholic school girlie... there's so much hilarity to be had here especially because his flirting is very uh how you say... a little ass backwards if you will especially considering dynamics

"I make it a point to keep the door closed when we're alone in a room together! That's basically a clear invitation that I'm down to fuck!!! Im basically asking to be ragdolled on his knot!!!"

and Benny just pinches the bridge of his nose like "I don't know how to explain to you in a way you'll understand that not everyone went to Catholic school."

But saying that Sasha does side-eye the door knob heavily when Maffhew goes over to close it the first time and he starts sweating like he just got dragged into a game of 7 Minutes in Heaven he did not sign up for and he's 13 again and oh god he got paired with a really cute girl, and he hasn't even had his first real kiss yet and-

And then absolutely nothing happens because Maffhew is just waiting with a polite expectant smile (because his work here is done, he did the heavy lifting know it's Sasha's turn) and this is when Sasha's dynamic classes training kicks in and he basically scolds himself for even assuming in the first place because this is clearly a show of trust (correct) not an invitation for extra circular activities (incorrect buzzer noise) and it basically becomes "This Omega really trusts me, I'm honoured especially as Pack Leader that I'm able to be so accepted into such a private space with the inherent knowledge that I will not encroach their boundaries whatsoever because consent is verbal, this is not in any way an invitation to take advantage of them this is deep platonic trust I will guard with my life :]"

and if you listen closely you can hear the lovely sounds of Maffhew bashing his head into a wall about how much of a gentleman Sasha is but also COME ONNNNNN... you know... once Maffhew realises what's happening which (looks at my watch) is not due for another few months really

Battle of wills: unstoppable force (maffhews catholic school understanding of dynamic interactions) vs immovable object (overseas alpha cotillion classes)

And if you think it's an Oh! An overseas dynamic thing! It's not. The Euros are watching the horrible car crash in front of them and doing absolutely nothing about it because it's none of their business, but they will stare at it... maybe judge it a bit but definitely are observing from the tall grass.

and I'm also not saying that luosty lundy forsy and bobby have a current running bet of how long it'll take for maffhew to break sasha in but i'm also not not saying that... luosty goaded lundy in the midst of a gossip session ("It has to be 3 months, right?) forsy happened to be around so lundy turned to him for advice ("7 months.") and maybeeee bobby overheard from all the way over from his stall and puts in his two cents for what it's worth ("6. Captain nice but not that nice. Very impatient." "So 3!" "No. Impatience makes him double the time, and wait longer. 6 months.") (lundy finally settles on a good 5 months because he's indecisive)

And Sasha does eventually pick up everything maffhew is throwing down... eventually... and when he does it becomes more so I want to court this omega the way they deserve I will take this slow and romance them sweetly :) *smash cut to maffhew caterwauling like a cat in heat*

but also once again its not like maffhew is helping sasha in any way this is idiot4idiot and benny would like to enjoy the car crash with the euros but unfortunately that's his soulmate, thats his bestie, his littermate from birth who has been weaned on the same teat as they climbed over each other to get to it, the first girl you kissed in your childhood bedroom because somehow you started play fighting on the bed because she was like i could totally pin you down easy and then she does and you always noticed how beautiful she was but shes even more gorgeous when she's pinning your wrists to your hannnah montana duvet you promised yourself youd changed out before she came over but you forget and well she teased you about it and you cant help but giggle about how perfect this all is and it seems that the natural conclusion to this is to taste the strawberry lipgloss of her lips because whats a kiss between besties huh its tacky and sticky and it tastes like summer and just other apt metaphors to put here about the inherent -isms of their relationship that i nearly cant put to words properly other than girls having fun (they are fucking)

and well anyways benny is watching and he has a lot of things to say about how its been proceeding so far

"You should really use your words."

"I am!"

"Right because smelling like a fucking perfume shop in the middle of October is using your words."

"This usually works with most Alphas okay!"

"Sasha isn't most Alphas."

"Tell me about it." Matthew grouses before he peeks over to Sam, looking up from beneath his eyelashes—the exact way he knows both endears him to Sam but also absolutely miffs him all the same, "Worked on you, didn't it?"

"Oh, is that what we're doing right now? We're calling getting a lapful of a preening O in preheat in the middle of a roadie a normal way to go about these things."

"It worked didn't it?" Matthew reiterates.

"It would work better if you use—"

"Okay! Alright!! I get it!!!" He does not.

like benny here is unfortunately an active listening participant in the going ons of the fuckery if not because hes involved by proxy because of maffhew because who else will hold his hair back as he calls him a dumb bitch you know

[teenyweenyeenymeeny]

hello sudden anxiety AND jealousy what did I do. to get you both at the same time about different things…

[phagodyke]

kind of annoys me sometimes how I can happily listen to my roommate explain the entire plot of whatever she's currently into but when it comes to my interests she can only listen for a few mins before wordlessly walking out of the room

[trash-bin-ary]

I can go on that ramble about the future and housing and aromanticism though now. It’s like man, the future is already something that is so inconceivable to me. To then have the sexuality that does not allow me to slot in the cookie cutter you find a romantic partner that you end up moving in with is terrible. And like In this economy I sure can’t live alone, and I know at least when I’m sick I desperately want someone to be there. And then there’s I’m likely to move around a bunch how do you deal with that housing, other than the work having paid housing. like constantly having to find somewhere that’s looking for roommates and it isn’t terrible? And then long term, when I find a job I stay at for a while (that’s remote so I’d love to live in a remote place) is it like I find a place to stay and then I’m stuck there forever and I just have to hope that I make good friends at this new place. (Friends that don’t want to live exclusively with a romantic partner no less.) I want to live with close friends so bad and I’m not sure if that’s a feasible thing for my future. I’m a person that has so much hope so I have to assume that yes it will work out, I do believe that. But man just hearing someone mention it, sparks that hope.

[ioannemos]

i know tv shows can't do cpr for real, but sometimes they fake it better than others, and when they fake it badly... 😬 hoo boy

[hecksupremechips]

Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over

Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰

[theskeletoninthegarden]

I have a coworker that I used to love to talk to but she has a problem with interrupting me, constantly, in the middle of conversations. Oftentimes she doesn't react to a statement of mine, and will interrupt with something completely separate, but it genuinely hurts my feelings?

And I don't know how to mention this without hurting hers.