letters-from-himring-hill

[letters-from-himring-hill]

Yep. I'm an outgoing introvert in some ways, but the emotions stay firmly on the inside unless there's a very good reason to take them out. Part of the reason Morwen hasn't processed certain things is because she hasn't been alone for weeks, because that's usually when I open up the various boxes and inspect the contents.

Question! What exactly was it that tipped Morwen over from having physical attraction to holistic attraction? What scene was she, like, "this is it. My future"

That's a good question, and I'm not sure exactly when it all added up in her head. It's a little more complicated also because I have a bit of a fictional crush on the guy, but Morwen's feelings and mine don't line up on the timeline.

I think he caught her attention - not romantic attention, just interest as a person - when he initially showed up. Morwen was thinking about the world in fictional terms, at that point, and no fictional character who makes his first appearance bleeding and wearing a cool coat is ever unimportant. She started to get emotionally invested in him, albeit not in romantic terms yet, when she found out that he was from her world, and had been trapped in Terrafell for years. She found out he was attractive when he took his shirt off to get in the pond. A lot of their subsequent interactions, she misread as potential romantic interest, especially him offering to wash her hair. She spent a good bit of time confused by the mixed messages, since he had said they probably shouldn't date, but was then - seemingly - flirting. Until their conversation in the art maze, she was more or less attracted to him, but keeping her feelings in check because she didn't know how he'd respond and wanted to respect his boundaries, BUT pretty much all the things she learned about his character were things that she liked, whether in a friend or a boyfriend.

During their "compliment competition", she got pretty convinced that he was attracted to her, too, but she didn't let herself run with that knowledge too much because his stated boundary was still the same. She decided that she would encourage him if he showed romantic interest, but wouldn't make overtures. So I guess that was the scene where she went from neutral and sort of waiting for him to tip one way or the other, to going "I like this guy and I think he likes me, so I'll encourage him". And from there, with the two of them being emotionally dependent on each other in the way that they are, and with her being stubborn and refusing to give up on something she knows they both want and that gives her a little bit of normalcy in a world gone mad, she's decided that this relationship is very important to her. That, and she knows breaking up with him would wreck him emotionally, and she doesn't want to do that to either him or herself.

[letters-from-himring-hill]

Good point! Relationships that make each other worse can be interesting in a tragic way, but in this culture I agree that the really unusual thing to do is write a couple who actually make each other better and who work through their issues together. This will be rather fascinating!

My three methods of offering emotional comfort are tea, boxing lessons, and (in an emergency only) hugs.

Morwen has no tea, and her companions do not need boxing lessons. Morwen has two emotional comfort methods. They are "philosophical argument proving you have value" and "Limpet".

Neither one is working very well, at present.

[letters-from-himring-hill]

#terrafell#in which the mc thinks she's being manipulative#and instead is just learning healthy relationship behaviors

XD

Good point, though. Morwen struggles a bit with whether this is manipulation or not, but it's benevolent, at least? It would be hilarious if she ended up teaching herself better communication and emotional habits solely for the sake of being good for Gavrel.

My three methods of offering emotional comfort are tea, boxing lessons, and (in an emergency only) hugs.

Morwen has no tea, and her companions do not need boxing lessons. Morwen has two emotional comfort methods. They are "philosophical argument proving you have value" and "Limpet".

Neither one is working very well, at present.

[letters-from-himring-hill]

I mean, she didn't lie. The feelings were real, and they were going to come out of the box at some point anyway. She just elected to open the box at a point where it would do both her and him some good, instead of the contents exploding in her face. Besides, she really genuinely is like that. All her major displays of emotion except the truly uncontrollable ones are calculated on some level.

Question! What exactly was it that tipped Morwen over from having physical attraction to holistic attraction? What scene was she, like, "this is it. My future"

That's a good question, and I'm not sure exactly when it all added up in her head. It's a little more complicated also because I have a bit of a fictional crush on the guy, but Morwen's feelings and mine don't line up on the timeline.

I think he caught her attention - not romantic attention, just interest as a person - when he initially showed up. Morwen was thinking about the world in fictional terms, at that point, and no fictional character who makes his first appearance bleeding and wearing a cool coat is ever unimportant. She started to get emotionally invested in him, albeit not in romantic terms yet, when she found out that he was from her world, and had been trapped in Terrafell for years. She found out he was attractive when he took his shirt off to get in the pond. A lot of their subsequent interactions, she misread as potential romantic interest, especially him offering to wash her hair. She spent a good bit of time confused by the mixed messages, since he had said they probably shouldn't date, but was then - seemingly - flirting. Until their conversation in the art maze, she was more or less attracted to him, but keeping her feelings in check because she didn't know how he'd respond and wanted to respect his boundaries, BUT pretty much all the things she learned about his character were things that she liked, whether in a friend or a boyfriend.

During their "compliment competition", she got pretty convinced that he was attracted to her, too, but she didn't let herself run with that knowledge too much because his stated boundary was still the same. She decided that she would encourage him if he showed romantic interest, but wouldn't make overtures. So I guess that was the scene where she went from neutral and sort of waiting for him to tip one way or the other, to going "I like this guy and I think he likes me, so I'll encourage him". And from there, with the two of them being emotionally dependent on each other in the way that they are, and with her being stubborn and refusing to give up on something she knows they both want and that gives her a little bit of normalcy in a world gone mad, she's decided that this relationship is very important to her. That, and she knows breaking up with him would wreck him emotionally, and she doesn't want to do that to either him or herself.

[letters-from-himring-hill]

That would be very funny.

If he does figure it out, Morwen will just have to tell him that all of her displays of emotion are calculated and she can’t help it because her emotions naturally stay inside unless she very deliberately draws them out. Ideally they won’t need to have that chat for a while, though; I’m not sure either of them can take another relationship crisis right now!

Question! What exactly was it that tipped Morwen over from having physical attraction to holistic attraction? What scene was she, like, "this is it. My future"

That's a good question, and I'm not sure exactly when it all added up in her head. It's a little more complicated also because I have a bit of a fictional crush on the guy, but Morwen's feelings and mine don't line up on the timeline.

I think he caught her attention - not romantic attention, just interest as a person - when he initially showed up. Morwen was thinking about the world in fictional terms, at that point, and no fictional character who makes his first appearance bleeding and wearing a cool coat is ever unimportant. She started to get emotionally invested in him, albeit not in romantic terms yet, when she found out that he was from her world, and had been trapped in Terrafell for years. She found out he was attractive when he took his shirt off to get in the pond. A lot of their subsequent interactions, she misread as potential romantic interest, especially him offering to wash her hair. She spent a good bit of time confused by the mixed messages, since he had said they probably shouldn't date, but was then - seemingly - flirting. Until their conversation in the art maze, she was more or less attracted to him, but keeping her feelings in check because she didn't know how he'd respond and wanted to respect his boundaries, BUT pretty much all the things she learned about his character were things that she liked, whether in a friend or a boyfriend.

During their "compliment competition", she got pretty convinced that he was attracted to her, too, but she didn't let herself run with that knowledge too much because his stated boundary was still the same. She decided that she would encourage him if he showed romantic interest, but wouldn't make overtures. So I guess that was the scene where she went from neutral and sort of waiting for him to tip one way or the other, to going "I like this guy and I think he likes me, so I'll encourage him". And from there, with the two of them being emotionally dependent on each other in the way that they are, and with her being stubborn and refusing to give up on something she knows they both want and that gives her a little bit of normalcy in a world gone mad, she's decided that this relationship is very important to her. That, and she knows breaking up with him would wreck him emotionally, and she doesn't want to do that to either him or herself.

[letters-from-himring-hill]

@scleroticstatue do you think that ‘deliberately showing my own weaknesses even though I don’t like it, so you won’t leave me and hurt yourself’ counts as a method of emotional support and/or a love language? XD

My three methods of offering emotional comfort are tea, boxing lessons, and (in an emergency only) hugs.

Morwen has no tea, and her companions do not need boxing lessons. Morwen has two emotional comfort methods. They are "philosophical argument proving you have value" and "Limpet".

Neither one is working very well, at present.

[letters-from-himring-hill]

Fascinating! So that's going in the novel, then?

I have since thought of an additional, non-romantic reason why Morwen doesn't want them to break up, which I touched on a little above, and that is that she's pretty sure he would emotionally self-destruct if they did. Maybe physically, as well; she's had him marked down as a passive self-harm risk for a while now. If it was just her romantic feelings in play, she'd be disappointed and sad and cry about it, and then she'd deal with it. She's definitely infatuated with him, but she's not so far gone that she couldn't handle a breakup. But she knows that she is, if not his entire emotional support network, most of it, plus she has his own word that he would break if she wasn't in his life. She needs him on an emotional level as the only other person from her world, she does genuinely value their friendship, and she needs him on a tactical level as the best warrior in Terrafell.

Had she known that he had this many issues when they were thinking about dating, she might not have pushed so hard, but she did, he's very emotionally dependent on her right now, and so she will do what's necessary to salvage the relationship. Even if (through gritted teeth) that means actually being vulnerable with him. The little semi-breakdown speech was a 100% genuine display of emotion, but it was also a calculated one. Morwen only shows her emotions in an uncalculated way when she's happy, or when she's so angry or so sad that she can't possibly control it, which happens fairly rarely in everyday life (though bursting into tears when she found out that her efforts to help Kaera had left Furniture Man in a coma and Kaera short four years of memories was definitely such a moment). Any other expression of her own pain is something she has to do deliberately. She doesn't like showing weakness like that, but if it's what she must do to keep this relationship intact, she will.

Question! What exactly was it that tipped Morwen over from having physical attraction to holistic attraction? What scene was she, like, "this is it. My future"

That's a good question, and I'm not sure exactly when it all added up in her head. It's a little more complicated also because I have a bit of a fictional crush on the guy, but Morwen's feelings and mine don't line up on the timeline.

I think he caught her attention - not romantic attention, just interest as a person - when he initially showed up. Morwen was thinking about the world in fictional terms, at that point, and no fictional character who makes his first appearance bleeding and wearing a cool coat is ever unimportant. She started to get emotionally invested in him, albeit not in romantic terms yet, when she found out that he was from her world, and had been trapped in Terrafell for years. She found out he was attractive when he took his shirt off to get in the pond. A lot of their subsequent interactions, she misread as potential romantic interest, especially him offering to wash her hair. She spent a good bit of time confused by the mixed messages, since he had said they probably shouldn't date, but was then - seemingly - flirting. Until their conversation in the art maze, she was more or less attracted to him, but keeping her feelings in check because she didn't know how he'd respond and wanted to respect his boundaries, BUT pretty much all the things she learned about his character were things that she liked, whether in a friend or a boyfriend.

During their "compliment competition", she got pretty convinced that he was attracted to her, too, but she didn't let herself run with that knowledge too much because his stated boundary was still the same. She decided that she would encourage him if he showed romantic interest, but wouldn't make overtures. So I guess that was the scene where she went from neutral and sort of waiting for him to tip one way or the other, to going "I like this guy and I think he likes me, so I'll encourage him". And from there, with the two of them being emotionally dependent on each other in the way that they are, and with her being stubborn and refusing to give up on something she knows they both want and that gives her a little bit of normalcy in a world gone mad, she's decided that this relationship is very important to her. That, and she knows breaking up with him would wreck him emotionally, and she doesn't want to do that to either him or herself.

[letters-from-himring-hill]

Them: what's my new HP?

Me: IDK let me check my notes...

My notes:

[letters-from-himring-hill]

She is. Trying.

Her current idea is "Socratic Method". I don't know if it's going to work well either.

My three methods of offering emotional comfort are tea, boxing lessons, and (in an emergency only) hugs.

Morwen has no tea, and her companions do not need boxing lessons. Morwen has two emotional comfort methods. They are "philosophical argument proving you have value" and "Limpet".

Neither one is working very well, at present.

[letters-from-himring-hill]

My three methods of offering emotional comfort are tea, boxing lessons, and (in an emergency only) hugs.

Morwen has no tea, and her companions do not need boxing lessons. Morwen has two emotional comfort methods. They are "philosophical argument proving you have value" and "Limpet".

Neither one is working very well, at present.

[letters-from-himring-hill]

I had to look up vedalken, but those are indeed all options!

[letters-from-himring-hill]

Morwen would have to go as an Andorian, wouldn't she? XD I don't think she could get away with 'Elf'...maybe with a lot of foundation. (Ha! I have gotten a good grade in reference-spotting!)

Yes. Also the kids. Basically, he caught her attention by being tall, dark, handsome, and angsty. Then he was endearingly awkward and devoted. Everything she learned from then on reinforced the attraction, and she didn't find out about the downside to the brooding until she was already pretty thoroughly attached.

Yes, yes, and YES.

[letters-from-himring-hill]

Honestly, Morwen would be down to attend conventions with him. (Is that a Leverage reference I spy??) However, it was really the combination of gentleness, brooding, and lethality that she found attractive.

I think his premises are horribly skewed, but I can see a kind of logic to his thoughts.

[letters-from-himring-hill]

Honestly, Morwen finds the dorkiness endearing. Especially when juxtaposed with the outward experience. The appearance by itself might have caught her interest, but it was the combination of all the above that kept it.

LOL! Yeah, that sounds like Gavrel, alright. He's very intelligent, and he doesn't sound dumb when he's talking - until you remember that his dramatic "I must leave you for your own safety" speech was provoked by an accidental broken nose.

[letters-from-himring-hill]

...you good there? XD

You made a character who could not have been more my fictional type if you had thought him up with both hands together for a fortnight, okay? But there's a difference between admiring that type of character from a distance and actually writing a realistic interaction with him. I'm finding the discrepancy rather entertaining, actually. (Morwen is...having an interesting time.)

[letters-from-himring-hill]

Okay. Point.

Morwen might have overlooked that fact in light of the devotion, the brooding, and the biceps.

[letters-from-himring-hill]

...thus, idiot. Well-intentioned idiot, but idiot.