#saw a bunch of pride flags and it made me pretty happy!

[alkalische]

something that worries me a lot when i get exiled to Australia for being trans is honestly how I'm going to acquire (and afford) HRT in the cities as an art student because everything seems expensive

also one of those 'bin chickens' i've heard so much about (i think it's some kind of ibis)

They just kinda wander around the parks and i think they're cool too

[spacelazarwolf]

Hey, I saw a post from another tumblr user that you are a Zionist and spreading false info about Jewish people being excluded from pride parades and I don't know what a Zionist is (they just said it was nationalist) but I enjoy your blog and wanted to ask you about it directly to understand better whats going on if thats okay? Im not anonymous in case you want to privately answer or tell me youd not want to discuss. 💕

first, i wanna thank you for being respectful about this, and for asking this off anon. this tells me you're asking in good faith, so i'm happy to answer.

i've had to state numerous times on my blog that i'm not a zionist bc people love to slap that label on any jew they disagree with, which is exactly what's happening in this situation. they disagreed with what i said about a lot of jews not feeling comfortable at pride because of the pervasive antisemitism in queer spaces, and several queer events banning the jewish pride flag because it "looked too similar to the israeli flag" and decided that made me a zionist. it happens a lot bc ppl know that that word is very taboo in activist spaces, and labeling you a zionist is a surefire way to get you kicked out of a lot of progressive circles. interestingly (said with a huge dollop of sarcasm) this rarely happens to gentiles.

zionist is also a pretty useless word for determining what someone actually believes, because depending on who you ask their ideologies can range from "i think that jewish people should be able to live in the land that is currently israel and palestine alongside palestinians and other indigenous groups" to "i think that only jews should get to live in that area and we should kick everyone else out." and as you can imagine, there's lots of people like me who agree with the first statement but vehemently disagree with the second. it's become somewhat of a dogwhistle, to the point that alt righters popularized "zio" as a slur, which was then picked up by leftists (because there is also a huge problem with antisemitism in leftist and non palestinian gentile-dominated antizionist spaces.) one of the events i mentioned in the first paragraph deleted a tweet using this slur.

the person you're probably talking about also claimed that i, a genderqueer trans man, am a misogynist, because i said that jewish masculinity is very culturally different from white masculinity and that i find a lot of comfort in it. they cited a bunch of problems with misogyny within the orthodox community, despite the fact i'm not orthodox or even ashkenazi. what it boiled down to is that they disagree with the takes i have on anti transmasculinity, and they needed something else to pin it on.

so in the future, if you see someone accusing a jew of being a zionist, take everything they have to say with a bucket full of salt and do as you did with this ask and go ask the person what they actually believe. sometimes you'll find their beliefs actually don't line up with your morals and you can unfollow, but the vast majority of the time you'll find that they just said something someone didn't like and it was the easiest way to discredit them.

in general, i don't share my opinions about zionism/antizionism on tumblr because that's not what my blog is centered on, and also i oppose the expectation that jews should have to disclose our opinions on zionism in order for gentiles to determine whether or not we are worth listening to. i also have a lot of thoughts abt how the focus on anti-anything makes it easier for activists to weaponize that activism against marginalized people, but that's an entirely different post.

anyway, i hope that answers your question, and i will probably pin this ask somewhere on my blog since i have been asked this a few times now and it seems unavoidable since ppl just won't drop it.

[herejusttosufferalong]

I know quite a few people think Nic and Jake are only friends but I’m not quite sure about that and here’s why: 

First of all, I know a lot of people are saying that a few people commented under his last post that he was a “twink” but to me all these comments were said in a teasing way, and the term twink is normally used as a denotative descriptive term. He could look gay but not be one, or he could be bisexual. I know he played a queer character before but then again a bunch of actors do even when they’re straight. I don’t want to assume his sexual orientation anyway just because he has many gay friends and likes lana del rey lol, plus we’re just speculating so here’s why I think him and Nic might be more than just friends. 

I’m pretty sure they’ve only met in March this year at the Renegade Nell premiere. We know that Nic was on a 6 month press tour so seeing each other was probably difficult to do. However, they did have some time to hang out in April before she had to go to Australia, and Nic started posting quite a few interesting songs in her stories starting April. I have no idea which songs Jake was sharing during that time, however I do know that on May 18 he shared The Louvre and Nic shared Birds of a Feather. Then on June 2 she shared The Louvre. (We’ll come back to that later).

Nic wears a bucket hat with the words “Popup Bagels”. I know that it’s her hat because she follows the IG page and also owns a different hat with the same words. I know for a fact that on May 14, Jake already had his profile picture with the same bucket hat. I couldn’t tell you when he changed his pfp exactly, but I have a strong feeling that Nic bought this hat when she was in New York at the end of April when they left Australia, and I think Jake was with her in New York. It looks like he could be in a hotel room in his pfp. And it is her hat, not his. 

We first see Nic wearing this hat at the airport coming back from Brasil, May 22. Then funny enough, there were rumors going around that Nic and Luke were in Spain towards the end of May. We know Nic’s stylist was. But guess who else was in Spain? Jake. And guess who is wearing her bucket hat in Spain? Jake, on May 30. You can see that in his stories. 

And who is wearing that bucket hat again, a few days later? Nic, at the airport going to Toronto, on June 2. Why would you share a hat with someone that much? I have no clue if Nic was in Spain but they saw each other quite a lot during the two week break they had before she left for Toronto, that’s for sure. 

Like I said earlier, on June 2, Nic was the one to share the song The Louvre. This song literally means “It’s about new love. How complicated it can be & how infuriating & how perfect it is as well.” All right… 

June 10, if everyone remembers, the interview where Nic fixes Luke’s hair dropped and everyone freaked out. Nic and Luke saw what everyone was saying, and Jake probably did too. That’s when Jake shared the song Pavement Tune by The Frames. On the very same day, Nic shared Redemption/Your Face by The Frames. Yeah, you can like the same music and bands as your friends, but the timing? The lyrics?? It felt like an apology to me. A message. 

Obviously two days later was the premiere and we know Jake was there because he was posting in his stories just like all of their commun friends. Then a few days later, Nic shared a story made by Camilla where you can see someone wearing her famous shirt “Kiss me, I’m Irish and vaccinated”. Jake was the one wearing it and you can hear his voice in the video. Okay, you can let someone borrow your hat I guess… but why are you wearing her shirt?? 

June 25, when Jake posted stories at the park and you can see Nic’s purse. That’s when people knew they were hanging out just the two of them. 

June 30, Nic posted a story with a green flag with "women with perfect breasts" and wished a Happy pride to everyone. Jake didn’t post anything but I have a feeling they were all celebrating together with his/their friends because a few of his friends were sharing stories with similar flags/sky backgrounds. 

July 1, that’s when Jake posted a story at the theatre going to see People, Places & Things. Obviously you can’t see Nic anywhere, but now we know that they were together because someone saw them and shared to DM that they were “getting close”. Listen, getting close could mean anything, but that person called it a date night and didn’t say “she was just hanging out with a man who looked gay” lmao. I would never “get close” with a guy friend nor a gay friend. But that’s just me. 

July 6, Jake posted a story inside her house. Once again, they looked to be hanging out alone at her place this time. Has she ever hung out with a guy friend this much alone before? Beside JVN. 

And finally, the last big sighting we got on July 12. Them at the pub. And I knew way before seeing that photo of them that they were together just because of Jake’s stories. Seems to me that if he’s hanging out with his friends, he doesn’t mind showing them or tagging them. But when he’s with her, you don’t see her. He did accidentally showed her purse once but I don’t think he realized that people would recognize it.  

One last thing: the polaroid. Nic has definitely changed it and I don’t think it’s a photo of her and Luke anymore. And who else loves to take pictures as much as her? Jake. He even had his camera with him at the park. Is it crazy to think they took a photo at one point when they were hanging out and that’s the one she has right now? Maybe. But the way she was holding her phone at the event made it seem like she was trying to hide it like she knew people would try to look at it. She didn’t mind showing her phone at the Taylor Swift concert though. 

Even since Nic and Jake were seen together, they have been reall quiet, especially Nic. I know she must be working right now, but I know I’m not the only one who felt a certain shift, like her social media presence is no longer the same and she no longer shares a lot with the fans. 

Anyway, I don’t know them and we can all have different opinions and I know a lot of people think Jake is too young for her etc but this is my opinion. All I know is they’ve gotten reallll close for two people who have only met this year. 

even if they had met prior to this year I do agree they have hung out quite a bit recently since we had no knowledge of him in her orbit prior to March

i am still not convinced they are anything more than friends whether he is gay, bi or straight

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A post shared by DOUGLAS GREENWOOD (@douglasgrnwd)

here are some friends photos from that trip to Spain and he is def giving a vibe in them

Also scroll this man's grid and see if you find anything interesting

Overall I will say you have given a compelling argument but I'm not sold

Anyone else have any thoughts?

[artzychic27]

Pride Month is right around the Corner! Yay! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

Marinette, Kim, and Nino- The Trio of Transcendenceness... Ness 🏳️‍⚧️

Marinette, Kim, and Nino have been best friends since birth, and do pretty much everything together

If some rando were to look at them, they’d think it’s odd that Marinette likes to wear pink and gaze starry-eyed at dresses in store windows while Kim and Nino like to play with action figures and shop for clothes in the boys’ section

And people swore they saw them get teary-eyed whenever someone said their birth names

Tom and Sabine sort of just knew that Marinette was somewhere on the trans spectrum, and let their so- daughter buy whatever outfits she wanted and grow her hair out

Marinette: I wanna be a princess when I grow up!

Rando: Don’t you mean a prince?

Marinette: No! I’m the Princess of princes!

She officially came out when she was seven

Her parents were supportive. Confused, but supportive. They even made her a three layered cake with Trans flags toppers

She named herself after a princess she read about in a book

Kim and Nino did everything they could to help their sister

Nino gave her the makeup kit he never uses and a bunch of his hair accessories

Kim gave her some clothes he doesn’t like wearing

Whenever someone asks what happened to their friend, [CENSORED]. Kim and Nino say their friend went on a long trip and is never coming back

Kim was second to come out when he was nine

He loved how carefree Marinette looked after she had what he and Nino call her “Gender Awakening”

He was confused about some things though, and asked her to explain how she came to the conclusion that she wasn’t a guy

Marinette: Well, I never liked how people kept calling me by my old name, and whenever I had to wear boy’s clothes, my skin crawled a bit.

Kim: ... I’m trans, I wear pants, deal with it!

His parents were very supportive and his mom even threw a one-woman pride parade in the backyard

Kim: Is mom okay?

Kim’s dad: She’s just happy for you. Now let’s go get you a haircut, young man before you look like a hippie.

In Vietnamese, Kim means gold/metal (A little reference to the gold medals he’s one in sports)

Marinette made him a custom binder that’s red with a gold star on the front

Nino cut his hair and is even learning how to contour so he can do Kim’s makeup to make him look more masculine

Finally, Nino came out when he was ten. He just figured it out on his own like Marinette

Nino: Your daughter’s dead, dudes. I’m taking over her room.

Chris: *Stares in awe* That is... awesome!

His parents supported him wholeheartedly

He chose his name because it’s Spanish for boy

Marinette made him a binder and she and Kim took Nino clothes shopping

Since they’re all best friends, they wanna do everything together

When they were ten, the three of them started taking their hormones

On dysphoria days, they’ll get under a big blanket and snuggle up while watching Disney movies until they fall asleep. Nino and Marinette would sandwich Kim in the middle while he wrapped his arms around them

Sometimes they wear matching hoodies that are a few sizes too big and just hide everything

On their first day of collége, all three of them were dead named in one of their classes since the school didn’t update their names

Word spread. Long story short, Kim and Nino beat up a boy who deadnamed Marinette and asked for “proof”

Their classmates were very supportive and always corrected teachers who accidentally say their dead names during role call

Many guys who had crushes on Marinette offered to beat up or threaten anyone harassing her

Nathaniel (Before meeting Marc) almost framed one of her bullies for murder

The swim team wore gender neutral swimwear so Kim wouldn’t feel like the odd one out until he got his surgery

Guys will always put emphasis on ‘Dude’ whenever talking to Nino

Students offered to stand guard whenever they used the bathroom in case anyone tried anything else

When Alya and Adrien came along, they were all so nervous. Sure, most of the school was pretty tolerant, but what if someone outs them and the new students turn out to be bullies in their own class?!

Once again, they were outed by some asshole Damocles won’t expel for some shit reason

Alya beat the asshole to a pulp (Which caused Nino’s crush on her to start) while Adrien treated his three new friends to ice cream

When they started dating and Nino was feeling dysphoric, Alya will say things like: “My boyfriend is the manliest man ever.”

... Ah, fuck it! Bring out the Miraculous!🐞🐈‍⬛🐢

Marinette is Ladybug/Nino is Carapace/Kim is Mèo đen (They all know each other’s identities because they opened the boxes together in Marinette’s room)

Thanks to a little magic, they have the bodies they’ve always dreamed of having

One Akuma they faced was some transphobic dick who they did not go easy on. Carapace and Mèo đen had to reluctantly keep Ladybug from murdering him in front of a bunch of people

Now, Lila? (I can’t go one second without Lila salt) She’s a new member of the assholes club but doesn’t know others know Marinette, Kim, and Nino are trans

She runs into class sobbing like a dumb [BLEEP] and whines about how Marinette assaulted her in the bathroom

The class was not amused and Lila never did become popular

Then the big day came. They were eighteen and they got their surgery together in the same hospital

Doctors and nurses gushed over how sweet it was three best friends were taking this huge step together

Kim and Nino’s first act was to burn their bras. Marinette even joined in even though she needed hers’

🏳️‍⚧️ Okay, onto the Pride headcanons! 🏳️‍⚧️

Some consider them Trans icons

It’s not every day a group of best friends come out as Transgender and get their surgery on the same day

They go to Pride every year, and thanks to Marinette, they’re always the best dressed

Their outfits mainly consist of sleeveless hoodies, crop tops, sandals, and bedazzled shorts and capes

Every time Marinette inhales, a terf gets punched

Every time Marinette exhales, a trans kid gets a cupcake

Mari makes pride capes, bedazzles them, and passes them out at parades

Kim is very popular with the drag Queens.

He is a lip sync god

Children love him and always ask for piggyback rides

He’s notorious for making flower crowns for the kids

Nino takes on the role of the mom friend when they got to pride

He once put Mari and Kim on those baby leashes so they wouldn’t wander off

He also supplies juice boxes and snacks

After their surgery, Nino and Kim pass out their old binders.

Kim’s would definitely look like sports jerseys

Nino’s binders are neon and one even glows in the dark

He wears hoodies no matter how hot it is

Marinette: Nino, take that off!

Nino: *Sweating more than the average person* No!

Marinette once beat up a terf who was harassing Kim and Nino for being “traitors to their sex”

The terf left with bruises and a small crush

[ggreactionsandscenarios]

Blackpink Reactions :

Meeting their S/O at pride

Jisoo

It wasn't Jisoo's first gay pride but as usual she accepted too many drinks from too many cute girls and was now a little drunk. That's mostly why when you enter the bar she was in, she first thought you were an angel. So when you sat next to her, she couldn't stop herself from staring at you. It's only when you finally turned your head and smiled at her that she tried to stood up properly. She offered you a drink and you talked all night long until you had to go back. Jisoo knew that girls you met at pride weren't meant to be encounter again so she had to get your number before you go.

"Can I have your number before you return to heaven beautiful ?"

Jennie

Jennie likes to take responsibilities as a member of the community and that's why she was in charge of a stand. She was handing out pins with various meanings and decorations, one of them being a self-made compliment to cheer gays up. Luckily when you arrived most people were already heading to gay bars nearby so you didn't have to wait for your turn. You asked one of this self made compliment pins to the beautiful brunette in front of you. Jennie liked to met new faces at pride and to be honest she found yours quite attractive with your rainbow attire so she tried her luck.

"I'll give you one for free if you help me clean up the stand, deal ?"

You agreed and ended up cleaning the stand with Jennie. Once it was finished, you asked for your reward playfully but when Jennie gave you the pins before leaving, you stood there shocked. There wasn't any compliment on the pins besides the word "cutie" followed by a phone number. Jennie knew when to take an opportunity especially with cute girls with kind hearts so she just did.

Rosé

Rosé was so excited about pride, it was the best event of the year in her opinion. When in the crowd there was this feeling of being welcomed in something bigger than us that she loved to feel. She loved the happy feelings, the colorful outfits and makeup; and obviously the good music that were surrounding the event.

She was dancing in the middle of the crowd when you bumped into her. She immediately tried to ask you if you were okay but the music was too loud so she led you somewhere else. When you reassured her about your health, she eventually took a real look at you. Rosie at pride meant confident Rosie, pride had that effect on her, nothing seemed impossible with a bunch of gays.

"You're really pretty, would you come get a drink with me ?"

Lisa

Lisa was very well aware about how some LGBTQ+ people weren't in good enough situation to come out and freely express their sexuality. And that's why she created a flower booth where people could buy their representative flag in flowers, she was then giving all the money to LGBTQ+ associations.

She was usually smiling all day during the pride parade but if you ask her co-workers/friends they would tell you she never smiled bigger than when she saw you. You weren't even waiting for your turn at the booth when she spotted you but she knew she had to give you a bouquet anyway, a special one. Every year she had that special bouquet of flowers prepared for the one who would make her prouder to be gay and this year it was you. Saddly you only found the card with her number written on it the day after.

Had some pride needs recently since it has been deleted due to COVID so yeah I guess I'll have to live pride behind Blackpink's pride. Hope you like the idea, don't hesitate to request ❤ -Ael

[gaylotusthatexists]

a rainbow heart

pairing: lamp

summary: Virgil goes to his first ever pride.

trigger warnings: none that i can think of but let me know if you spot anything

word count: 887

a/n: day twenty four!!! today’s prompt was ‘parade’ :) i hope y’all enjoy this <3

ao3

Virgil lifted his hood up and glanced out over the crowd, trying to keep his head low and stick close to his boyfriends. He felt Roman wrap an arm around his shoulder and relaxed a little, a small smile growing across his face. His boyfriends had made a much greater effort in terms of their outfits - Roman looked fashionable as ever, wearing a crop top displaying the trans flag in a heart and blue jeans, Patton was wearing a rainbow-patterned dress with a nonbinary flag wrapped around their neck like a cape, and Logan had gone for a slightly more casual look than usual, with just a polo shirt and a rainbow bowtie. Virgil himself hadn't gotten dressed up, instead just wearing his purple patch hoodie and black ripped jeans as usual, although looking around at everyone else he thought that he maybe should have put in a little more effort.

It wasn't exactly his fault - unlike his boyfriends, he didn't own any pride merch, and wasn't really confident enough to go around in full outfits like them. Plus, his parents didn't know he was here, so he thought it best to keep a low profile, to avoid anyone he knew noticing him.

"You okay, Virge?" Patton asked, glancing over at him as the four walked towards the park, where the pride event was to be held.

Virgil nodded and shot them a quick smile. In truth, he was... well, he wasn't entirely sure how he was feeling. This was his first pride, and of course he was excited and all, and it felt wonderful to see other people out here who were like him, just nice to know that he wasn't alone, but he also couldn't help but be filled with anxiety over all of this, because he could no longer stay hidden, and there were so many people he didn't know, and-

They arrived in the park and it was an awful lot busier up closer. Loud music played from the other side of the park, a live musician Virgil was pretty sure, singing some pop song that he didn't recognise. Roman spotted some of his other friends and went to say hello to them, Virgil's anxiety spiking as Roman lifted his arm off his shoulder. Logan followed Roman, quickly mumbling to Virgil and Patton that they'd catch up soon, and Patton dragged Virgil off to some stalls along the side of the park.

Virgil's eyes moved over the millions of pins on display, some with quotes he snorted at and a bunch of flags he didn't even recognise. A couple pins caught his eye, but he decided not to think about them too much, instead watching Patton purchase a 'they/them' pin.

"You should get one!" Patton encouraged. "They could go with the other pins on your bag."

Virgil bit his lip. He did want one, and that bi pin in the shape of a little ghost really did shout out to him, but...

He found himself pulling some money out his pocket and handing it to the vender, taking that ghost pin and putting it on his jacket. He'd have to take it off before he got home, but that would be fine - chances were his parents wouldn't even notice, or recognise, it on his school bag.

Patton dragged him back towards Logan and Roman, who'd since moved away from Roman's friends. Logan then led them to a hot dog stand where they got their lunch and a drink, which was probably a good idea. After eating and chatting for a while longer, Virgil slowly beginning to gain more confidence amongst his people, they went to look around some more stalls, Roman buying a larger trans flag and Logan buying a small ace flag.

They found themselves near the front of the stage, Roman and Patton dancing without a care in the world whilst Logan and Virgil watched fondly, Virgil singing along to the song under his breath.

"C'mon, aren't you gonna dance with us?" Roman shouted over the music, smirking at the two of them.

Logan rolled his eyes. "You know that would end in disaster, Roman."

Roman just grabbed Logan's hand and spun him closer, which Logan didn't protest against. Sighing, Virgil found himself joining the three of them, casually bopping to the music and occasionally twirling Patton around. He was enjoying this a lot more than he thought he would - all the anxiety he'd felt about coming in had faded, and he was instead just happy that he now had a place where he could be himself.

Eventually, the four left the stage area and moved to a quieter area of the park, sitting down on the grass and eating a little bit of the picnic Patton had brought with them. Virgil ended up with his head laid in Logan's lap, as Logan's fingers slowly stroked through his hair in a soothing manner. Logan cuddled up to Roman's side, and Patton laid between all three of them, pointing up at the sky and describing random clouds they saw.

Virgil just laid there, smiling. This was nice. Just lying here, with the loves of his life, surrounded by other people who accepting him, who would hear his voice, who were exactly like him. He almost didn't want it all to end.

[lifeofroos]

Part 16. I felt a little meh about this chapter while writing the first draft, but now I think it is pretty alright.

In short: Nico gets therapy from Dionysus. In this chapter, they continue talking about Cupid, which they also did in part 4. The rest is on AO3 and Fanfiction.net!

This Might Be Crazy: Part 16: Cherry Coca Cola

‘Where are we going?’ I asked.

‘Long island beach.’

‘And why are we going to long island beach?’

‘Thematic appropriateness.’

‘What do you mean?’

Dionysus sighed. ‘What did we talk about last time we were at the beach?’

The corners of my mouth sunk. ‘About Cupid. And then you said you wanted to talk about him more in the future. And then I brought him up last time, when we talked about Jason. So... now the time has come to continue.’

‘Exactly.’

I sighed and dropped down into the sand. ‘Alright then. But I don’t even remember where we left off last time.’

He did not say anything back while he sat down next to me and handed me a bottle of Cherry Coca Cola. ‘Here. Also for thematic appropriateness.’

‘Because I had Strawberry Coke last time?’

‘Indeed. Now, first of all, how do you feel about your coming out go after what happened at Diocletians’ palace?’

I shrugged and took my time to think while I uncapped my soda. ‘Ehm… at first, it did not go so easily. With the help of Jason, I managed to tell the rest of the seven…’ Dionysus rolled his eyes when I called them that, ‘And Reyna about it. Eventually, I told Thalia, because she was Jasons’ sister. Then, to a few other people who were important during the Giant war, so coach Hedge, his wife, Gwen and Dakota from camp Jupiter, and then eventually most of camp Half-blood and camp Jupiter. The gods learned along the way, and slowly basically everybody knew. I don’t wear a pride flag on my sleeve, because I do not feel comfortable with that, but furthermore I am pretty open about it. You know, I would say my coming out was pretty smooth after the first bump.’

‘Glad to hear that. Last time you said that most people are accepting, right?’

‘Yes. Most campers were open to it, and those who weren’t quickly grew to be. I mean, we are the descendants of the ancient Greeks and Romans, after all. I think I told you last time about Wills’ relative, how she makes tasteless comments, but also that she does not really bother me all that much. I… this might sound weird, but I think the fact that most people accepted me helped me work through my internalised homophobia, which surely was there. And still is, but... less.’ 

‘It is nice to hear that you are feeling that way. Do you think your internalised homophobia is still something we should talk about?’

I shrugged. ‘I don’t know if there is a lot to be said about it that I haven’t already said. It was there and it was a real issue for a while, because of all the propaganda from Fascist Italy. But now that I am in a more accepting time, with nothing but accepting people around me who indirectly tell me each day that being gay is nothing to be ashamed off. That I should not be hating myself because of it. And… and then I began to date Will, and slowly I began to… actually like it that I was gay. Not just tolerate it, but like it.’

Dionysus nodded a few times. He was smiling. ‘Wonderful, Nico. It is really nice to hear that you managed to get through it. And of course we all know you’ve got Will, you are superglued to him all the time.’ 

‘Hmpf.’ I took a sip of cherry coke. I was not glued to Will all the time. Sometimes I had therapy, after all. 

‘Now, do you think this would have gone differently if Jason had not reacted the way he did when you were at the palace?’

I took some time to think about that. ‘Maybe… no, yes, I am sure it would have gone very differently. I… I would have been way more secretive about who I truly am and I am pretty sure my internalised homophobia would have been a way larger issue than it is now. I am sure I would still be suffering from it a lot.’ I took a sip of coke. ‘But that… that is just what Jason did. I told you that last time. Jason cares… or cared, for the people around him, and he basically always saw the positive. And he carried that attitude in a way that wasn’t even tiring.’  

Dionysus wrinkled his brow. ‘That’s remarkable.’ 

‘It is.’ I took another sip. ‘And you are  right about the fact that I am not ashamed of walking around with Will while we hold hands, or something like that…’

‘As if all the PDA we see from you is holding hands.’

I wanted to tell him to shut up, but that seemed stupid. ‘You know what I mean!’

‘I know exactly what you mean and I think it is very good that you feel comfortable enough to do it.’

‘Well then!’

He shrugged, which was probably his way of saying sorry. ‘Hm. I don’t feel ashamed of that. That is partly because nobody can hate on me when I walk next to Will Solace, of course.’ 

Dionysus laughed. ‘You seem to have a good relationship with him.’

‘I do. I think.’ I don’t really have a frame of reference. ‘I feel safe with him, and loved.’

Dionysus suddenly got  a sad look in his eyes. ‘Those are the most important parts. If you just love each other, and trust each other… the rest will come.’

I took another sip of coke and thought about his words. ‘Is… I mean, people say that often, but is it really true?’

He looked at me. ‘Are you really going to ask me about that? I am the god of alcohol.’

‘I mean, I don’t know a lot of other people who have been married for literal thousands of years and managed to still care deeply about their partner, after all.’ My face soured a little. Except for Cupid, that was. 

Dionysus did not notice the change in my facial expression. ‘Yes, it is pretty much true. But you have to know that relationships are different for immortals. Regular humans live maybe eighty years if they’re lucky. Some people might be together for decades, but most couples don’t reach further than a couple of years. Even if you found the one, so to say, and you reached the stadium of the relationship where it is not so much about being in love, but more about loving each other, you’d still be far, far away from what being in a relationship for thousands of years is like. It is not about someone being the ‘one’ anymore. It is about that person being the one you love the most and who will always be with you in spirit, even if you don’t see each other for years. They’ll be there for you and you’ll be there for them, even if you both love others as well. You can feel their presense in your life. Unless you are forcefully send to a summer camp and separated from them, which made the ties that you had looser not in the sense that you love each other less, but that you literally can’t feel the bond that connected you anymore.’ He stared at the sand. I took a sip of coke. For a second, he stayed lost in thought,  until he seemed to wake up. ‘I just said that all out loud to some fourteen year old.’

‘Hey, I am fifteen!’

‘That matters about nothing.’ 

I took another sip, but the bottle was almost empty. ‘I have been telling you a lot about my life. This is only fair…’

‘That is not how therapy works.’

‘...And I think it might be important to know this about the gods, because… well, with all the children going on and stuff…’ I needed to stop talking right now and I knew it. I got up. ‘But I have classes in a little while.’ Dionysus did not look at me. 

‘Use that information wisely.’

I shrugged. I would try my best. ‘I am going to Will now.’ That made him look up at me. 

‘Yes, go do that. You deserve someone like him in your life.’ 

I nodded again and walked away. On one hand, I felt smug because I managed to get a shred of information about immortals out of him. On the other hand, I felt a bit sorry. I wondered how it was to be seperated from someone you loved so much. And on the third hand, which I did not know I had, I felt  happy that the subject of Cupid and internalized homophobia had been seemingly closed off and I had said absolutely nothing about Percy Jackson. Now I could talk about that when I felt truly ready for it. Which might be never. 

A/N: A chapter I thought was necessary, because I left the chapter with Cupid unwrapped and it has been quite some time. After Jason, I thought it was the most logical, even if it is not much. The next chapter will be a bigger set piece again. 

I am not sure about this chapter. I just am not. I have already written out the next part, however, about Hazel, and that feels a lot better. 

I have a bunch of ideas written down and a lot of things were mentioned by you guys. If you really, really want to see something, tell me and I’ll add it to the list and maybe (but only maybe) put it higher on the list.

Spoiler alert: Nico will tell Dionysus about Percy... someday. He just does not know when yet. 

[hollenka99]

2020, According To My Tumblr Archive

January

Like many, freaked out about the Dhawan!Master reveal

Unus Annus reached 2 million subs

Ethan finally saw his sub count reach 1 million

Reblogged the elf pussy post with a version of the elf practice meme and now every time I see that meme, I think of that post

Finally made my Dyspraxic!Chase post

Fleshed out Creator!Jackie a little in terms of Nyesha (his girlfriend) and his prosthetics

February

Got really into Take Me or Leave Me for a short while which led to me watching RENT for the first time

Finally made that follow up to A Talk With The Creator I’d been meaning to write for months (aka A Day Long Overdue)

Started posting Unus Annus trigger warnings for a few weeks after the video where they demonstrate how they’d kill each other as a joke

Reached the 100 follower milestone after nearly 4 years on this site

Got very into WTNV again and binged like 60+ episodes in the space of 2 or so weeks

March

Watched Starkid’s Black Friday

Posted The Doctor on the anniversary of The Friend’s posting

Made some posts about the women of TLoJJ for International Women’s Day

Bupine received an anon ask teasing her about a typo which is common in our friendship group. Usual suspects were accused until the true culprit revealed themself via an acrostic (aka me being extra and I loved every second of it)

Went to the cat cafe in Nottingham

Made sure people were aware of World Puppetry Day by sending anon asks to people I thought might get a kick out of it

Posted Fighting Stolen Breaths

Steven Universe Future ended

Having been in the beginning stages of creation since ~Oct 2019, Jumbled AU content starts appearing

April

Spent the 1st doing an ask event for the Jumbled AU as a way of properly introducing it

Confused a bunch of people outside the Jacksepticeye community when I made a post saying how great it was that $400k had been raised in 2.5 hours during the HopeFromHome stream

Posted The Vlogger for Chase’s birthday

Got hyped to write a Śmigus Dyngus fic featuring Jumbled!Chase and his kids but got sick (regular illness, don’t worry) and therefore never finished it

Norbert Moses existed for 24 hours but he will exist much longer in our hearts

Managed to stay up to see 4:20am on April 20th

Posted the prologue and officially began the story of Jumbled

Watched Ghost for the first time

May

Fanders finally got the continuation of Selfishness vs Selflessness (Putting Others First aka SvS Redux) and learned Deceit’s name

Started talking about The Fall of Naesia

Pretty sure I hyperfixated on Queen for a week or so

Got introduced to ‘Storp Chorleigh, this game has gorn on lawng enuff’ and my life has significantly improved

CumGate happened

Got into ATLA

Black Lives Matter

Created the ‘it’s gonna be gay’ post that would destroy my inbox for the next few days

Had my first experience behind a wheel

June

Posted Flag, the response to which has made me proud of it

Poland scares and disappoints me part 1 (queer rights edition)

Sean posts another blooper video which causes me to make edits that subsequently inspire me to write Little Interruptions

Created an entire mythology purely because I thought a winged humanoid/merperson pairing was a cool concept

Reminded my friends why I should never be allowed to stay up until 4am because I just start talking nonsense

July

Finally watched An Inspector Calls and immediately wanted to make a Sanders Sides au with it.

Started talking about Creator again

Had another ask event to celebrate Jackie’s birthday

Also posted Photographs for his birthday which I love

Reached 150 followers around the middle of this month, I think

Discovered Kipo but wouldn’t fall for it head over heels with it for another month

One Direction celebrated their 10th anniversary and I was possessed by my 15 year old self for a week

Posted The Mediary which properly brought Creator AU back to my blog for a short while

August

Eddsworld came back after years

Posted The Creator and officially completed the main part of the au

Poland scares and disappoints me part 2 (queer rights edition continued)

Finally revealed Jumbled Anti’s identity to the world and got threatened on my birthday because of it

Discovered the Unus Annus video I’d been waiting all year for would be centered around them chewing on dog toys but it did feature “I’m the Unus to your Annus” so that was cool

Binged the first 2 seasons of Kipo in like a day and correctly predicted the Mega Monkey’s identity ages with very little foreshadowing to go off of

September

Started showing my love for Puppet History

Among Us was a thing

Got back into Playchoices

BBC Ghosts came back for series 2

Watched Pride twice in 24 hours and made sure everyone knew I’m heart eyes for it

October

Trump got sick

Family friend took one of my teeth

The world was blessed with Patton in a dress

Replayed Septiscape ahead of Soulscape’s release and liveblogged it

C!Thomas got a love interest and I’m really happy for him

Kipo season 3 came out

Literally the next day, the Dream SMP brainrot officially began

Discovered Thanzag existed and fell for the angsty side of their relationship despite knowing barely anything about the game

Poland scares and disappoints me part 3 (abortion edition)

Started bingeing The Magnus Archives and got through 150 episodes in about 2 weeks

Halloween was an eventful night for both the Jacksepticeye and Unus Annus communities

November 

Unus Annus began its epilogue period

Watched V For Vendetta for the first time which was probably the least eventful thing to happen on the night of November 5th 2020

Destiel became somewhat canon and people found out Putin was thinking of resigning because of that

US elections

Unus Annus died following a 12 hour livestream

Somehow, my mad attempt to summarise every video of Unus Annus kinda paid off

Supernatural trended again because of its finale

Went through a period of questioning whether I’m asexual but settled on ‘sex ambivalent allosexual’ for now

Destiel became canon again but reciprocated and Spanish this time

Discovered Webtoon and Castle Swimmer

December

The monolith saga began

Elliot Page came out as trans

Mark went to hospital for an obstruction again and the community became very invested in his recovery process

Scotch eggs with your drinks became a brief meme over here in Britain

Your New Boyfriend was released

Destiel’s canon status was brought back to the spotlight once more

Watched The Godfather for the first time

Reached 200 followers

We got somewhat of a Dan and Phil video after so long with Phil trying on clothes while Dan reacts behind the camera

BBC Ghosts came back for Christmas to say Tories suck and you should make the most of your time with your family

Got into Mother Mother after Wilbur played the intro to Hayloft and I decided to see what the fuss was about

Watched Bridgerton and immediately felt the need to write something historical

The Mishapocalypse returned

[lynneshobbydomain]

To Be In Orbit (Day 7 of Momoharu Week)

((Gosh it’s been a journey of two ship weeks and having a lot of fun in trying out new characters. Thank you all so much for your support as I wangled my way through this.))

Prompt: AU/Free Day

Summary: During quarintine Kaito has been spending an awful lot on Animal Crossing before Maki could be invited. Little did she know that her man has a plan.

You can read under the cut or here at my AO3

Maki arrived on Curiosity and she knew right then and there that she was going to have to brace herself for all things that were space. “MakiRoll! You made it!” Kaito’s voice cheered over the discord voice chat they were in. It was easier to talk through a mic than to use the speech bubble. Maki prided herself on being a fast typer, but...Kaito could be a slowpoke. She brought out her NookPhone for a moment to see if her guess was right. “So you’d never guess what the shape of this island is!”

“It’s a rocketship.” Maki confirmed as she put away the NookPhone and decided to leave the airport’s entrance. He...did a remarkable job on crafting the island so that it would look like a space ship. There was a pond at the top of the island to indicate a window, and she saw that he had made some sort of cliff side for the rockets that were underneath the ship. She would have to explore the island to see for herself how he crafted it. She was also amused by all of the red flowers that he planted. Mostly red and purple roses. How he managed to enough purple to cover the majority of the island, she couldn’t guess. “Did you breed these?”

“No Kaede’s and Shuichi’s island has a whole bunch of pink and purple.” Kaito explained. “They let me take some. Kokichi oddly enough made me go to his island to get some too.”

“Was that why you were screaming at your console?” Maki had heard him shout about something or another and she had thought it was Kokichi who managed to sneak onto Kaito’s island or had just decided to “bribe” him into going on his. “Did you do the rocket yourself or did Shuichi help?”

“Of course my sidekick helped! We even got Himiko and Tenko to take part in it too. Come on you’re not going to get all of the nitty gritty standing there.” Kaito’s character spun around in circles around her before racing off. Maki decided not to drag her feet and followed him. He had placed the houses in a way that made sense too. He had tried to make the shops diagonal from each each other to represent wings. On the other side of the island, he did that with the villagers as well. The whole middle of the island, while covered in flowers and fruit trees, also had a goregeous set up of a park. Going further and she could see that he went out of his way to recreate memories. 

There was a restaurant that was on the river side. Their first date had been at a restaurant at a river side. Then there was the house that he made that was...very much like their own house. She didn’t miss that he had managed to find a way to hang a weapon on the walls and that there was artwork of them. Angie must have provided it. She also caught on that there was planets and galaxies that were decorating the non-flowered parts of the island. The Milky Way, the Andromeda, the different planets. She even saw her own constellation for her birthday and right next to that was Kaito’s. 

Small flags were starting to rise up in Maki’s mind. Out of everything that he could have put in his island, it was space and her and flowers. She spoke to some of the villagers, mostly to see if they’d randomly drop a hint as to what was going on. Most of them were just excited to see her, and she got a DIY recipe that she already had. She would have to see if Ryoma or Rantaro needed it since they didn’t play too much. Kaito dragged her everywhere, showing her where he placed the waterfalls for the river, and how he tried only to have a few cliffs. 

It was a very romantic island, and a very him. “That explains the days you decided to lock yourself in your room or playing when you have a nightmare.” Maki said after a moment, taking it in. “It’s really beautiful. You did a good job.”

“Thanks Maki Roll, but the best hasn’t even been shown yet!”

There was more to this island?! “What more can you possibly show me?” She asked as she randomly decided to take out her clothing wand and change her outfit. She always liked the the badassery of the tank top and shorts and it was supposed to be summer. Not that it felt like that due to the quarantine, but...the sentiment should stay the same regardless in the video game. 

“The shooting stars!” Kaito exclaimed, his character emoting the encouraging reaction. Maki reacted using the thinking and he responded playfully with the worried. “Come on.” He pleaded through the mic. “Stay for the stars! We can't really see them in the city.”

That was fair. It also wasn’t like they didn’t do it in the game either. She could also gather material if she timed the wishes correctly. She decided to react with the pleased reaction. “Okay.” She said. “I’m going to assume you have a spot all picked out too.”

“You got it Maki Roll. Come on, follow me.” He lead her up towards the point of the rocket, guiding her up and up inclines. More and more stars and planets on the ground but also...little things that if she only ran through she wouldn’t have caught. There was a place filled with musical instruments that, if one were to visit his island blindly would think he had nowhere to put them. She recognized it as a memory of Kaede’s concerte that they went to. Then they saw Shuichi’s hat, where he had abandoned it a long time ago, growing out of being anxious. Himiko’s magic show that they got to watch. Tenko’s dojo...all little items of punching bags, and magician wands, most of them artwork that was on open display and items that were made using the pro-designer. How long did Angie work on Kaito’s request?! How many of these were borrowed or were given to him through Shuichi and Himiko?

“A path of memories?” Maki questioned.

“Well there’s this American song that Rantaro made me listen to that was called the Staircase to Heaven and I don’t know anything about those lyrics, but the title made me think of what I think.” Kaito explained. “Look it’ll make sense later. We can’t dawdle, the stars don’t wait for anyone!”

She wanted to look through more of the memories, but she decided to press for information later. They got to the third tire and he ran all the way to the tip point of the rocket. A telescope already in place as well as a springtime picnic display.

Those flags of hers were getting louder. “I’m going to get off call.” Kaito said suddenly. “Can I come sit with you?”

“As long as you’re six feet away from me.” Maki wondered if he could even tell that she was joking through the microphone. She could hear him laugh and she felt herself relax. They disconnected on the computer and Kaito took no time in coming and sitting down next to her. “What was with the space?” She asked after a moment as he got settled on their bed.

“No reason.” Kaito mused. “Just thought you’d rather explore than to peek through my screen about what I was doing.”

Kokichi called Shuichi a terrible liar but she wondered if the gremlin ever caught Kaito in one. Then again, that would probably give him too much power. A chime echoed through both of their switches and Kaito cheered as he looked at the screen. Without having to say a word, they both pressed a button and wished on the stars that were coming down. 

It must have been a meteor night. She felt herself relax as they enjoyed the moment, trying to catch and wish. “Hey Maki Roll. What did you think of the island?”

“You put a lot of work into it.” Maki wondered if there was more he was looking for, but Kaito seemed pleased with her answer regardless. “What did you wish for on the stars?” He knew that she wouldn’t actively make a wish. There was no point if the star wasn’t real. Meanwhile, Kaito was an idealist on the best occasion. A false star in a game was just as good as a real star out of it. 

“If you’d marry me.”

“What?” Maki wasn’t sure if she heard right and picked her head up from her screen to see that he was actually holding an open ring box. It was..simplistic and gorgeous and Kaito was grinning as he held it out to her. “I…” She wasn’t used to being stunned stupid. “I knew you were planning something.” 

“That’s not a yes or a no.” Kaito chided lightly, but he turned a little serious. “I’m pretty sure you saw all of the...items that I left in the pathway. Little things that I know that you and I share. I want to do that with you. Share more memories, be with you. You make me happy, Maki and I hope I make you happy too. I love that you call me an idiot sometimes because I know you care and you worry. I love your pout and how you get flustered. I love your smile, your determination to get things done. I just...love you and I want to continue loving you so…” He gently nudged the box towards her. “This is me, asking you, if you’d marry me.”

“Do you want to die?” Maki asked, but she let a hidden smile slip on as she gently held her left hand to him. “You're stuck with me. No one else would put up with you.”

“I wouldn’t want anyone else.” Kaito grinned as he slipped the ring onto her finger.

[residentanchor]

Prince Pride

Summary: An ALiP! Short involving Prince Charging going to the city’s first pride event!

Warning: I get a bit serious at the end. Didn’t mean to, sorry. Also Clyde’s shirt has a curse word on it. I’m going to be spoiling something I’ve hinted at in Probable Theorem in this fic. You have been warned.

The poster advertising the city-wide festival was both a surprise and warm welcome to Logan when he saw it at work. He immediately took a photo and sent it to the group chat he had with his roommates. One he usually kept muted due to silly conversations and spam messages in it (usually Roman and Patton). They all answered with enthusiasm and made plans to go after Virgil stated being too nervous to go alone. 

When that warm summer day finally approached, they headed to the city park where it was being held and waited on the side for the small parade to start. Patton found a tie-dye shirt with the pan colors on it randomly in a store. Of course, it was not advertised that way, but he didn’t care at all. Virgil had a shirt on but was hiding it under a light breezy sweater, too shy to have it in the open just yet. Patton had asked Virgil to make Logan a tie that fit the ace colors. Logan absolutely loved it. And Roman? Was fully decked out with a pride flag as a cape tied around his shoulders and his cheek had a rainbow painted on the side, courtesy of Virgil. 

The parade was rather short since it was the city’s first year, but the crowd quickly formed around it before pouring into the park where a stage with music was set up, surrounded by stalls of food, supportive local businesses, and random merch. The stalls were lacking, the basic pride flags most common people could quickly find were being sold. Patton made comments about making other flags and setting up a booth next year just so that more people could feel accepted.

They were still walking around when they started hearing shouting. It sounded like a debate and a small crowd was gathering around it.

“He is!”

“Where’s your proof? I don’t want you to be wrong, but all I hear are stories! I want evidence!”

“What evidence are you even looking for?”

“I mean, if he were to show up, that would be pretty good!”

“You know he doesn’t show up in the day time!”

“It’s PRIDE! If Prince Charging really stood by us, he’d be here!”

Their group all turned to Roman who watched on with wide eyes and a bit surprised. “Wait…” He mumbled to himself. “Why didn’t I think of that?”

“Roman…” Virgil started softly. “What are you planning?”

Roman smiled and turned toward him. “Virgil. I need a quick way home as soon as possible. I think I didn’t dress properly for the occasion!”

Virgil stared at Roman before letting out a deep sigh and shaking his head. “Fine. I know I can’t stop you. Here, let’s get out of here and find a quiet place to ourselves.”

Patton and Logan waved them goodbye as they went their separate ways. However, only ten minutes later, Virgil walked back up to the two and let out a large sigh before ducking his head. 

“I told him to not let me regret this and I already regret this.”

“Regret what, Virge?”

“Is that Clyde?” They turned to Logan, who was staring off into the crowd. Following his gaze, they turned and spotted Clyde in the crowd. He didn’t stick out much, though he wasn’t wearing his usual scarf and beanie in the hot weather. His hair was slightly pink at the ends, probably temporary color, and he was wearing a big, baggy tank top that said ‘Imagine what you could learn if you weren’t an asshole’ in rainbow letters on the front with a blue bandanna tied around his neck.

“It is!” Patton cried out happily. “Clyde! Hey, over here!” They watched as their neighbor looked over at them and visibly deflated. He seemed to contemplate ignoring them before begrudgingly walking over. “Hey! I didn’t know you were going to be here!”

“Yeah, well…” He tugged at his bandanna and looked around.  “Aunt Les has been talking about this for months and I was curious, so…”

“Well, be that as it may, it is nice to see you here, Clyde.” Logan smiled at the younger man as he looked at Logan in shock. “Even coming to these to simply show support, whether you are a part of the community or not, is a brave act. I’m glad to see you here, regardless of the reasons.”

“Oh. Yeah, it’s whatever.” Clyde smiled softly before looking at the group. “Hey, where’s Roman?”

Virgil jabbed a thumb over his shoulder and Clyde leaned over to see what was going on. “He’s probably just over there. You’ll hear him soon enough.”

Clyde watched the crowd before spotting the familiar white suit he had seen dozens of times before. “Are you kidding me, really?!” Clyde scrunched his nose in disdain and looked up at Virgil. “You really let him out of the house like that?”

Virgil shrugged and didn’t bother turning around. “Hey, if seeing him makes others feel safe knowing he supports them, who am I to stop it?”

Roman was walking around and smiling, ignoring the whispers as he made his way through the sea of people. He knew in his outfit he shouldn’t hang out with the others, but it was a golden opportunity to just enjoy things as they happened and stand up for anyone in the rare chance something happened. 

“Prince Charging!” He stopped and turned, seeing a group of people smiling and waving at him. He raised a hand and waved back, watching them all laugh and turn to talk to one another before he turned and kept walking through the crowd. 

“No way,” He turned and saw the two people who were arguing before, both staring at him. “No way! No way you’re really here!” The person who was demanding proof that Prince Charging was in support of pride. He watched as they smiled, seemingly happy to be proven wrong. “You’re really here!”

“Well, of course I am!” He placed a hand on his chest and smiled, puffing up proudly. “There is no where else I would rather be!”

“Are you really him?” Someone else questioned. The Prince smiled and nodded, causing them to start jumping with excitement. “Ahh, the Prince is here!”

People started taking out their phones and snapping photos, which he was more than happy to pose for. A crowd quickly formed and Prince was having a hard time keeping up with them all.

It was going great for a while. Of course, someone had to speak up.

“No way. I bet you’re a fake!” He stopped and turned to the person who shouted at him. “I don’t believe you!”

“You don’t believe me? The gayest hero in the city? Truly, I have not done my job well enough if you’re still questioning it!”

“Prove it! Prove it you’re really here!”

With a huff, he looked around and noticed a nearby bench, quickly excusing himself as he made his way to it. Jumping up, he turned to the crowd and threw out his arms. “Ladies, lords and non-binary royalty, it is your prince! Here in support of all of you!”

“Are you the real prince? I bet you’re a fake!”

Roman held out his hand like it was a gun and pointed it to the crowd. “This is as real as you are, I assure you!”

“PROVE IT!”

Without hesitation, Prince Charging held his arm up and aimed straight into the sky. He let loose a bolt of lightning that shot up and flared out, almost like a firework. The crowd gasped and grew silent as he put his hand down. “I am Prince Charging, the real deal!”

“PRINCE, I LOVE YOU!”

“I love you too, random citizen!” He said with a smile.

Clyde scoffed and turned away. “How can you date him? He’s so annoying.”

“Say trans rights!”

He cleared his throat and cupped his mouth before turning to the sky. “Prince Charging says TRANS RIGHTS!”

Clyde smiled a bit and turned away. “Well, maybe not always. I could do without the shouting, though.”

Everyone just started cheering and asking him to say other things, which he happily obliged. No one questioned him, no one was afraid of him, and everyone kept chanting his name.

He couldn’t tell you how he made it onto the stage where they were performing. He couldn’t tell you how he even got there! However, he will remember being handed a mic and being asked to give a speech. Performing was in Roman’s blood but he still got pre-show jitters every time. 

But not here. Not today. Definitely not this time. 

“You’re not broken.” The crowd grew quiet at the Prince’s soft tone. He hadn’t realized how serious he was going to take it, but as soon as he started, he couldn’t stop. He looked down to the crowd at all the unfamiliar faces. He smirked a bit as he saw his roommates with Clyde, looking up at him from the field.

“You are not broken. This isn’t some sort of test or a race. We all spend time trying to figure it out, afraid of what we will learn and what others will say, but we were made this way. And the way that you are? The way that each and everyone of us is? We were made exactly the way you were supposed to be.” He pulled the mic away a little bit as he stared out at the crowd. “The label can feel nice, knowing can feel like… like you make sense for the first time in your life. It doesn’t work like that for everyone. You don’t have to follow the label exactly. You want to be a dashing prince?” He smiled and posed a bit. “Fine. You also want to wear a dress? Go ahead. This is all…” He moved his hands around a bunch, waving them back and forth. “It’s like a color wheel. There are so many slightly different variants to every color and shade. You don’t have to be exactly on the dot. You don’t have to be the same color as everyone else. If you’re a bit more green or purple, than that’s fine! Because that’s…” He pulled the mic away, feeling his voice start to waver. 

“That’s who you are, and you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone. You are exactly who you need to be.”

[hatari-translations]

Vikan með Gísla Marteini (22.11.19) - translation

On November 22nd, Matthías was on talk show Vikan með Gísla Marteini (The Week with Gísli Marteinn), plus Andrean as a surprise guest near the end, where they talked about, among other things, the protest Hatari were about to play at, the Eurovision Palestine banner protest, and their experience performing in Russia.

Most of the show before Andrean comes in isn't particularly relevant to Hatari fans, but I still translated anything substantial Matthías says plus relevant context. If you just want the main bit about the Moscow concert, scroll down to the "Moscow and the rainbow wings" heading under the cut.

Protests and politics

As always, Gísli Marteinn is a popular talk show host and also the Icelandic Eurovision commentator. The guests on the show this time are:

- Matthías, whom we know, introduced as "hater [Hatari], artist and playwright" - Bubbi Morthens, one of Iceland's most beloved musicians, who wrote many classic songs; a musical based on his life is premiering soon - Björk Vilhelmsdóttir, former city council member, who was recently arrested in Israel

Host Gísli Marteinn opens the show by saying it's a month until the days start to get longer again. Seasonal depression is pretty common in Iceland, and he asks if the guests do anything special to maintain their mental health in the darkest part of the year. Matthías responds: "No, the winter is my time. It's more in the summer that I have to try to stay grounded. I think it's fine."

After a segment with some jokes about the news, which include the whole corruption scandal about Samherji:

GÍSLI MARTEINN: Matthías, you're in an anticapitalist band.

MATTHÍAS: Very much so.

GÍSLI MARTEINN: How do these issues going on in the country right now strike you?

MATTHÍAS: It's perhaps illustrative of the values that capitalism - or late capitalism, maybe neoliberalism, dunno - instills in the hearts of young, up-and-coming scammers and moguls. No, that was...

GÍSLI MARTEINN: You never quite know when Hatari is joking about the anticapitalism.

MATTHÍAS: That was the take that we in Hatari have gone with, and we'll be keeping it aloft at Austurvöllur tomorrow, at two o'clock.

GÍSLI MARTEINN: You'll be playing there?

MATTHÍAS: Yes. It's "Democracy, not plutocracy", an event arranged by the Constitution Society [organization campaigning for the new Icelandic constitution, which was written by a democratically elected council of members of the public and overwhelmingly approved of in a national referendum in 2012, to be actually implemented instead of being stuck in a drawer like it has been] and other organizations -

GÍSLI MARTEINN: Unions...

MATTHÍAS: Yes, Efling [one of Iceland's largest unions], the Icelandic Disability Alliance came in too, and other organizations. So it's big organizations behind this, and I think it's imperative to show through action that this kind of behaviour... that you care, whether you agree with all of... Look, yeah. No, just show up.

They talk about anticapitalism and the scandal for a bit.

Israel and the flag incident

GÍSLI MARTEINN: On to something slightly different. Matthías, last time you were here, you were on the way to Eurovision.

MATTHÍAS: Yeah, we wore those specially designed tracksuits.

GÍSLI MARTEINN: Yeah. I've got here one of the most famous objects of 2019 in Iceland, and that's this... this flag here.

He pulls out the Palestine banner that Matthías held in the green room.

GÍSLI MARTEINN: The nation was shocked by the Samherji news, but I think the shock was greater when this was pulled out.

BJÖRK: The joy was greater!

GÍSLI MARTEINN: Yeah, but still shock! I don't necessarily mean shock in a negative way. I'll just say for myself, I could barely believe you were doing this. Walk us through it a bit, I mean, how... You were incredibly stressed about doing this.

MATTHÍAS: Yes, and there's a lot of uncertainty, as I've talked about before, in that situation. Some 9000 people start booing, viciously. And I also spoke to people who were in Berlin and other places, who were at Eurovision events that might be sponsored by some Israeli company, people pepping up Israel and Eurovision, and there are Icelanders in the crowd just watching the show, and how the crowds, not just in Tel Aviv but all around Europe, just fill up with rage. It's strange how that's what you feel, you can't feel the viewer behind the camera like you can at a concert, where we're in our element. So the love comes later through social media, and messages and reactions from people that we talk to, and there was way more of it, but that rage is the first thing you feel.

GÍSLI MARTEINN: Right. But you had to smuggle this in somehow. Where did you keep this?

MATTHÍAS: Just inside of the beltline or in our boots - not out of any disrespect for the flag, it was just a method for...

GÍSLI MARTEINN: Didn't you buy this in a toy store or something?

MATTHÍAS: I actually didn't buy it, it was the reporters at Iceland Music News who took a trip and bought this for us. We're just in the whole Eurovision bubble, keeping the wheels turning.

Gísli Marteinn asks the others about their reactions to the flag stunt. Bubbi rants a bit about the Israeli state's policy of violence, then Gísli Marteinn asks Björk about how she got arrested in Israel. She says they didn't know she was Icelandic at the time, so Gísli Marteinn quips, "So it wasn't Matti's fault." Björk says the Palestinians really notice Icelanders, and noticed the incident, and talks about how she's so impressed with how just this one word ["PALESTINE" on the banners] shattered the rosy image they'd been trying to build up for Eurovision. She rants a bit too, about why we're being made to pay a fine just for displaying a word.

MATTHÍAS: Like there aren't a bunch of Israeli flags there. That was kind of a justification for me personally; there are a bunch of Israeli flags.

They move on to Björk’s arrest. She was there at the Gaza border with three other volunteers for the International Women's Peace Service. She had not been intending to get arrested; at one point they were going to be waving Palestinian flags at the border just to let people know they were not alone, but had been threatened with arrest, so she actually specifically didn't come to that bit. They’re vague about the arrest, so I looked up another article for the details. The actual arrest happened when they were with Palestinian farmers helping them pick olives; a settler came up and acted threatening, they ignored him, and he called the Israeli army, who arrived and told them they were in a militarily restricted area, asked for their passports, and arrested them when they didn’t have them with them.

Björk has brought European blueberry squash that she made, and everyone has some.

Theater and Bubbi Morthens

GÍSLI MARTEINN: Despite your young age, you've won an award for your achievements in theater. You wrote an amazing play about a man who gets stuck in IKEA.

MATTHÍAS: Griðastaður.

GÍSLI MARTEINN: Griðastaður. If you were writing the play about Bubbi that's being staged this winter, how would you have approached the project?

MATTHÍAS: I probably would've approached it kind of like Ólafur Egill [Egilsson, writer/director of the Bubbi musical] said he would approach it. That is to say, he talked about the concept of Bubbi. Not necessarily personally about the human being, but just about Bubbi as a phenomenon hovering over the nation. That's how Ólafur talked about it, I think before the process started, or I don't know how far he'd gotten.

GÍSLI MARTEINN: Bubbi isn't a man, he's an atmosphere.

MATTHÍAS: Yes. He's a part of all of us.

Bubbi talks about how he's read the script and was shocked because it's pretty merciless (he had explicitly asked to not be consulted as the script was being written). He ends up saying he's anxious, scared, but really happy and excited; Matthías says "I'm just happy and excited."

Environmentalism and the climate

Gísli Marteinn asks Björk about some greenhouses that are scheduled to be built just below where she lives, and she talks about how unnecessary construction isn't good for the environment.

MATTHÍAS: But speaking of the environment, there's one thing you didn't cover in the "News of the Week" segment, and that's the Kastljós citizens' assembly on the climate. [This was a special episode of Kastljós on November 19th, featuring a live discussion on climate change with various scientists, politicians, environmentalist, and one anthropogenic global warming skeptic journalist.] I thought that show was awesome! I'd watch it if it was on every week, just every Tuesday night.

GÍSLI MARTEINN: The same episode?

MATTHÍAS: Just the same... with new people and so on.

Björk suggests he should see author and environmentalist Andri Snær Magnason's show at the City Theater, an accompaniment to his recent book, where he discusses climate change. Matthías says, “The book is on my bedside table right now. I'll have to get started on that.”

Moscow and the rainbow wings

GÍSLI MARTEINN: I'm going to pivot a bit, because Matthías just got home from Moscow, and we saw on the news that you made some ripples over there, because as we know the Pride Parade has regularly been banned there...

MATTHÍAS: And any kind of "propaganda" is just banned.

GÍSLI MARTEINN: But Hatari, as this...

MATTHÍAS: Propaganda machine.

GÍSLI MARTEINN: Yeah! [laughs] And beneath it there's this satire on, shall we say, fascist methods and so on.

MATTHÍAS: Totally.

GÍSLI MARTEINN: How were you received in Moscow?

MATTHÍAS: Actually, we've never been as well received by any audience, just...

GÍSLI MARTEINN: Amazing!

MATTHÍAS: Just, "by a long shot", to use an English phrase. The love in the room was so palpable, and there were Pride flags, and there were gay and lesbian couples, and people were still jumping around and singing an hour after we left the stage. I've never seen anything like it.

GÍSLI MARTEINN: That's good to hear!

BUBBI: Isn't it typical for a dictatorship, that underneath that's there?

BJÖRK: People thirst for those human rights.

MATTHÍAS: Yeah.

BUBBI: That joy, and...

GÍSLI MARTEINN: That's probably true. But I saw a video, and I don't think it diminishes anything to say that the high point...

BUBBI: It was amazing!

GÍSLI MARTEINN: ...was when Andrean walked in...

MATTHÍAS: Definitely.

GÍSLI MARTEINN: We've got him on the show as a surprise guest! Andrean, come in!

Andrean walks in, to cheering.

GÍSLI MARTEINN: Andrean had this thing he has on his back built for him. Please spread your wings, my friend!

Andrean unfurls the wings, to further cheers. Bubbi launches into a bit of one of his songs, "Strákarnir á Borginni", a 1984 song criticizing the violent homophobia of the time.

GÍSLI MARTEINN: Andrean, congratulations on what you did. I know you came up with this on your own, to have this built and then spread those wings on the stage in Moscow.

ANDREAN: Yeah, I did. I actually - I didn't build this myself, I got Haraldur Leví at the National Theater to create the mechanism and then Alexía Rós, talented seamstress, made the wings.

GÍSLI MARTEINN: I know this was - you had to steel yourself, it's not just literally heavy on your back, but mentally heavy as well.

ANDREAN: Yeah, very. I was honestly terrified to take this there. The guys were there before me, they went to St. Petersburg. I didn't want to go first to St. Petersburg and then to Moscow, where the story would spread, and...

MATTHÍAS: Also, the Moscow gig was a lot bigger, so you picked the right one.

ANDREAN: But so I was traveling alone with this, and I was just... There are horrible stories that you hear from Russia, about violence and sometimes murders of LGBTQIA people, so I was constantly fearing the worst and didn't trust anyone, and had a bunch of conspiracy theories that I'm not going to get into. But then everything went really well, and as soon as you got to the venue, then you immediately felt the presence of like-minded people. As soon as I stepped onto the stage, there was just this sharing of love between everyone.

MATTHÍAS: The Russians were shouting, "Andrean! Andrean!"

GÍSLI MARTEINN: I saw that on the video! Everyone knew your name, you got so much love from the audience...

ANDREAN: Yeah. And really the idea came about when we were out in Tel Aviv. I started waving the Pride flag in the Green Room, and I happened to be positioned so that I was between the host and someone they were talking to, and was there in the middle waving this flag. And for us Icelanders it's just become really mundane, thankfully, and it's just a beautiful rainbow flag, but we often forget it's a highly political flag as well, in many countries that are participating in the contest. And I just got a deluge of messages, especially from Eastern Europe and especially Russia, where people were sharing their love, and stories, horrible stories. Which encouraged me to do something crazy.

GÍSLI MARTEINN: I just say this was awesome! Congratulations and thank you for coming and showing this to us. I know you have a full-time job with the Iceland Dance Company, and like everyone around Hatari you're doing a million different things.

Then he introduces the next segment, Berglind Festival going around exploring how come Icelanders are apparently reading more books in the past couple of years. In the vein of her Hatari segment, it's pretty funny (also, one of the people she interviews is the aforementioned Andri Snær Magnason), but it has nothing to do with Hatari, so I'm not translating that. The show closes off with a performance of the song "Namminef" (Candy Nose), by the band "Bland í poka" (Mixed Candy Bag).

[purgatory-is-life]

Darker Than He Seems

This is a Sanders Sides fanfic I wrote a while ago, don’t @ me. The plot is kinda confusing.

Summary: Roman's dark past is slowly catching up to him, after Can LYING Be Good. Twists and turns are on every path, darkness threatening Patton and Logan's happiness, Virgil is panicking more than usual, slowly reverting back to how he was before... Pride left the Dark Sides, and Creativity came into the play.

CHAPTER FIVE: Old Habits Die Hard

Previous//Next

Chapter TW; cursing, blood, wounds, I think that’s it, let me know what i missed!

Patton

I hummed a little song as I finished cleaning LoLo’s room. He needs to clean it more himself. I peaked inside Virgil’s room. He was listening to music in his headphones, and probably scrolling through Tumblr. I’ll clean his room later. I peaked inside Roman’s room. Sure enough, he wasn’t there. I’m pretty sure he was off in the imagination, fighting the Dragon Witch or some other monster in order to protect his kingdom.

I stepped inside Roman’s room and immediately realized this was going to be a tougher job than I thought. Knowing Roman, you’d think he’d have the best kempt room out of everyone. No, he doesn’t.

He had papers scattered all around the room, on his large desk were several different drawings and supplies for all sorts of artsy things, next to his closet door-which was wide open-was a new gizmo he must’ve been workin on, Disney posters were hung up all over the walls, and above his papers. He tends to jot down any and every idea he possibly could as soon as he gets them, then revise them later.

I set up a few piles of papers, categorizing them based on the idea and which were written recently. After I cleared Roman’s floor, I got to vacuuming. I sang the song ‘Things We Used to Share’ while I worked on cleaning Roman’s room. After vacuuming, I started to dust a few things, like Roman’s trophy collection.

Then I started to sort through the things in Roman’s closet, he has a lot of creations in there and ideas. Also his pride flags were there. I finished sorting through his clothes, when an old looking trunk caught my eye. I couldn’t help myself, and opened it.

Inside was a bunch of old props. A staff, a basketball, a dagger, and among them was a black iron crown, with ruby crystals embedded in it. For a prop, it was surprisingly life like, and heavy. It must be part of his costume! Ro probably just forgot to put it on. I smiled, put all the other props away, and stood ip. I walked over to Romans makeup table and set it down for Roman to find later.

---Time Lapse---

Roman

I snuck back into my room from the Imagination using a portal I had hidden in my room for emergencies. Ad if I used my portal in the basement, everyon would surely notice my wounds. Not as bad as they could be, but definately not ideal. I had a long gash across my back, but thankfully it wasn’t very deep.

I scanned my room. It was cleaner than I left it. Patton must have visited. I cleaned my wound (it wasn’t bleeding anymore, so that was good), changed my shirt, put my sash back on, and sat down at my makeup table. I started doing some simple makeup and then took notice to the crown by my blush.

I heard it whispering sweet nothings and temptations, wishinf for me to put it back on. I panicked, grabbed it, and ran downstairs to the living room. “Who put this on my desk?!” I said. Virgil looked up and winced when he saw the crown.

“It wasn’t me, Sir Sings-a-lot,” Virge muttered, going back to his phone. Logan looked over at me and scanned the crown. It made me uneasy.

I don’t beleive I’ve seen that before. It couldn’t have been I,” he said after a few moments of silence. Patton peaked his head out from the kitchen.

“Huh? Oh, the crown? I did, I found it in a box in your room and thought it was part of your costume. Was I wrong?” Patton said, walking in and frowning. I couldn’t hurt his feelings, or break Patton’s trust, he knew me as ‘Creativity’, it’d break him if he learned about me once being a dark side, so I lied.

“No! You weren’t wrong, it’s just, I was waiting..... for Halloween! Yeah, Halloween, to wear it. You know, to like, a party or something.” Virgil nearly spit out his coffee.It was two in the afternoon, and he had coffee. Why am I not surprised?

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin the surprise!”

“You did nothing wrong Padre! I just, um, didn’t expect to find it so soon.”

“Oh. But, you’ll wear it right? Some time this month?”

“Yeah! I promise, I’ll wear it on Halloween!” I winced. Virgil was staring at me like I was crazy. I think I was; a promise made to Patton is literally impossible to break.

“Yay!! I love my creative child.”

“Hehe, well, I’m gonna go put this away for safe keeping! I walked up to my room. Welp, I’m dead.

[bkdk-n-tasty]

The hardest enemy to defeat is your own self-doubt

Look at that you guys, I made it all week with a finished piece! I’m so proud lol

Day 5: This day has no prompts, therefore you are free to do whatever you like!

With Pride month being last month and I meant to make this then, I figured I could do it for this prompt ♥ 

Please note that there is homophobic langue in this story, some internalized homophobia as well. If you’re triggered by that I suggest skipping this one. 

Katsuki let out a huff as he watched the people in his living room move about as if they owned the place, he had half a mind to tell him to get out but he'd let them in, to begin with. His mood calmed a bit as Izuku shot him a grin, he looked fucking cute as hell. But that fucking dweeb always looked cute as hell in Katsuki's opinion. Izuku wore an actually kinda funny shirt for once instead of one of his stupid shirts, though it was mostly due to the fact he only had a small say in his outfit, though he did agree to wear it. Izuku wore a light gray shirt that read "It Ain't No Lie Baby I'm Bi Bi Bi", the letters a gradient of the bi pride colors and to top it off with some sweet talking from Katsuki he got Izuku to wear a pair of cute short shorts that showed off Izuku's fantastic legs.

Katsuki sighed quieter to himself as he closed the distance between him and Izuku. He felt kinda shy which was a fucking weird-ass emotion to feel when he was never shy. But this was the first time he was actually going out in public flaunting the fact he was gay, it wasn't a secret he was dating Izuku. The bombshell blond wore a dark gray V-neck that read "I can't even think straight", though he kept his normal back baggy jeans.

"You look good," Katsuki muttered as he got to Izuku. Izuku beamed up at Katsuki with that fucking cute smile that made Katsuki want to do just about anything for the younger boy.

"You do too, Kacchan," Izuku chirped as he held up the markers everyone was sharing to color their pride flags on their cheeks. "You ready for your face painting?" Katsuki tsk-ed but he nodded, tilting his head to the side to let the smaller boy streak the colors on his cheeks. In return, he did the same for Izuku. The two glanced back at their friends, it was a beautiful chaos.

Denki and Eijiro were helping each other, Denki was decked out with a bright blue tank top that if it wasn't catchy Katsuki wouldn't have paid much attention but he even snorted as he read "I'm Bisexual so I'm nervous around everyone" with a shy carebear graphic under it. Denki's cheeks wore the same colors as Izuku's. Eiji was just as eye-catching as his boyfriend as he wore a black chest binder with a pan pride unicorn with bright red skinny jeans, that Katsuki swore he'd seen in Izuku's closet at one point in time.

Then there was Momo and Jiro with Todoroki, helping him with his cheeks. Momo wore less flashy colors but had her cute bi and poly pins on her shirt, while Jiro wore an outfit almost identical to her normal outfit but instead of her normal black jeans she wore a skirt that bore the trans colors. Katsuki had honestly been caught off guard by that, he never imagined that she was trans but like the rest of their friends supported her nonetheless.

Iida was sitting patiently with his girlfriend and her girlfriend marking his cheeks with the demi-sexual flag. But Uraraka and Tsuyu both looked pretty proud with their handy work. Uraraka wore a relatively cute pale pink tanktop that said 'multitasking' with two female and one male stick figure above it. Tsuyu had chosen to wear a similar outfit that she normally wears, though it was a matching pale pink shirt that read in a dark violet 'I love my girlfriend'.

The only pair that was missing was Sero and Mina and the two planned to just meet them there. Which honestly Katsuki was grateful as his home felt like it was crowded as is. It took a while longer for the rest to finish up in the meanwhile Izuku had managed to pull Katsuki away so he could steal some kisses before they headed out.

"We're going to have so much fun," Izuku beamed excitedly, glancing between Katsuki and the rest of their friends. Katsuki tried to ignore his nerves as he listened to the others chat, his gaze stuck low and didn't meet people they passed. It was strange to Katsuki to be so open about his sexuality, it wasn't like he should feel ashamed or anything, he'd had supportive parents who both loved Izuku to bits and pieces. It was just something he tried to ignore.

"You okay?" Izuku asked quietly, jerking Katsuki's attention from his thoughts. He glanced down at the worried expression on his normally outgoing boyfriend.

"I'm fine," Katsuki huffed out but after a moment he said quieter for only Izuku to hear, "I guess I'm a little fucking worried…I don't know, it's stupid."

Izuku shook his head and carefully pulled Katsuki over so their friends could keep walking. "If you're nervous it's not stupid. What are you nervous about?" Izuku had managed to grasp Katsuki's other hand and with those damn eyes, Katsuki couldn't just lie and say it was nothing, that there wasn't anything he was worried about.

"I…I don't know," Katsuki finally admitted, his gaze flickering towards their friends who all were so damn supportive and loving. He really didn't have it bad so why was he so worried? The harsh words he remembered in junior high…They were the ones that rung out in the back of his mind, it wasn't anything he had said but other bullies had…and those words had been pointed at Izuku a lot. He finally looked back at Izuku, "I just want you to know I'm sorry. For the things in middle school. That I couldn't even leave you alone, or at the very least keep the others from picking on you…"

Izuku's smile faltered for a moment but he squeezed Katsuki's hands. "You've been forgiven Kacchan, you know that. Things were different then, we've come so far since then," Izuku smiled gently up at him. "You denied yourself to a lot of things at that point, but you don't have to worry about today. I'm with you. The real you, the one that makes me happy and feels loved, the one that protects me when I do dumb things to try and help others. The one that drags me to bed when I'm trying to run myself into the ground." Izuku was breathless after his word vomit but he meant every word of it and Katsuki knew that. "I love you Katsuki."

The angst-filled blonde finally nodded after a moment, a small smile broke across his lips. "You really do love me, huh?" That made Izuku snort but he kept that loving smile on his lips.

"Of course I love you." It was so obvious in everything Izuku did when it came to Katsuki, everyone could see that. With that Katsuki's smile grew and his body seemed to relax.

"I love you too, you nerd," Katsuki murmured, his cheeks heating up. He could handle holding hands in public but saying 'I love you' apparently got him flustered, and it was cute in Izuku's opinion. With that, they joined their friends and headed towards where Mina and Sero had gotten them a good spot to watch the parade. Katsuki really did relax with his friends once the parade started, watching all those people proudly strut their stuff made him feel really good. He even was able to build up the courage to kiss Izuku in public, in front of their friends and strangers. No one even thought twice about it or cared and that felt so good.

"I love you," Katsuki murmured against Izuku's lips before stealing a second kiss. Izuku had melted into the kiss and only after a few moments was able to pull himself away, but he didn't try and move away from Katsuki's embrace. No instead Izuku relaxed and leaned into Katsuki's chest as he watched the parade.

"We need to check out the seller's booth," Mina announced brightly when the parade had wrapped up. Izuku pulled Katsuki along as they headed towards the area that had been set up for people to sell homemade merchandise. The group was able to find a bunch of things they liked and bought, glad to help local artists. Izuku ended up with the most buttons rivaling Denki's, the two looked like kids with all the buttons.

Denki and Jirou lead the group towards the block that had been closed off so they could set up a dance area and pump out music that left even Katsuki wanting to dance. It was obvious in moments who the DJ was, Mic wouldn't pass up an event like this. And anyway, he was the best so of course, he wanted his community to have the most fun they could get.

Izuku and Katsuki were both laughing and clinging to one another. They honestly had the most fun they had in a long time on a date. Katsuki even admitting that Izuku was right, that he would have fun, that there really wasn't anything to worry about.

That was until they were leaving. The group was going to head back to Bakugou's to unwind and watch a few movies before dispersing for the night…Katsuki gritted his teeth as he saw the group at the edge of the fenced area.

Izuku stopped, throwing his arm out in front of his friends. "We are not going that way," Katsuki growled as he caught the red letterings on the signs, the ones that left him wanting to fight them all.

"What's up?" Eijiro asked, squinting ahead. As the redhead caught sight of the words on those ugly signs his smile dropped. "Are they…Are they serious?"

Iida squared his shoulders as he moved forward as if he would lead them past the hateful group of people. "They might be allowed to spew their ugly words but they are not allowed to touch us. We just need to pass them and ignore them," Iida said, looking over the group.

"It's easier said than done," Jirou frowned, leaning against Momo. It was strange to Katsuki to see Jirou who rarely showed fear to look as nervous as Katsuki felt.

"We have the numbers on our side," Izuku said, squeezing Katsuki's hand protectively. "And we all got strong quirks if they even do try something. We can defend ourselves."

After some debate going back and forth they eventually headed towards the exit. They wanted to go back and rest, the hate group couldn't physically touch them and that was what they kept telling each other. But it was hard to ignore their shouting and protesting.

Katsuki could feel his rage boiling in his blood as they got closer and closer to the loudest member, he had to be the leader. "You all are doomed to hell if you don't repent!" The blonde shot the man a glare that normally was reserved for villains and that seemed to only add fuel to the man's words. "You are going to hell!" He even pointed right at Katsuki with his free hand. That made Katsuki almost lose his shit but instead, he smirked at the man, pulling Izuku to him before dipping him and giving him a kiss in front of the group.

"You're only a jealous old man," Katsuki yelled back at the leader, "You're fuckin' jealous my boyfriend loves me and you're in a loveless marriage!" Katsuki's friends were quick to start to drag him away. They all knew once he was really angry that there would be some really ugly words passed back and forth.

"It's fine Kacchan," Izuku murmured softly up to Katsuki once they were far enough that they were less worried that Katsuki might start setting off explosions. "We'll go home and just cuddle and watch those dumb cheesy movies," Izuku continued softly, trying to calm the older man. Instead of the group hanging around their friends went home so they could just spend time together.

Once Izuku and Katsuki were home, the two managed to drag every single blanket they owned to the living room where they could build a nest of sorts on their couch. They were comfy under their blankets when Katsuki finally broke down, his face buried in Izuku's shoulder.

It was a rare moment when Katsuki broke down when he cried. Though it was only ever just Izuku that witnessed it, who Katsuki trusted not to make fun of him. To support him and help him feel better. Izuku rubbed at Katsuki's back, murmuring soft and loving words. It wasn't long before the blond exhausted himself, laying his head on Izuku's chest with the blanket pulled up over his head, just enough was uncovered that Izuku could see the red puffiness around his eyes.

"We had fun overall, right?" Izuku softly asked, rubbing the older boy's back gently.

Katsuki nodded as he yawned. "Up till we had to pass those fuckers," Katsuki grumbled.

"You did really good though," Izuku said, "I thought for sure you were going to end up punching that guy's face."

"I thought about it," Katsuki admitted, "But I thought the kiss would do more damage to his kind."

Izuku chuckled softly, "Probably. That was a really good kiss by the way. I wouldn't mind you kissing me like that more while we're on dates."

Katsuki looked up at Izuku with that smirk of his. "I bet you would, you gotta earn those kinds," Katsuki teased. Izuku seemed to relax then, seeing Katsuki return to his normal snarky attitude.

"I might have to do more than," Izuku giggled, pressing a kiss to his boyfriend's forehead. "I love you so much Katsuki," He murmured softly, "I love you more than anyone else in this world."

"I love you too," Katsuki mumbled.

"What?"

"You're a nerd!" Katsuki said louder as his cheeks flushed a dark red. That left Izuku giggling and pressing all the kisses he could over his lover's face.

[monday--vibes]

Far From Home Critique: Mysterio Makes No Freakin’ Sense

So, I saw Far From Home again the last week. Admittedly, I liked it a lot more the second time around than when I first watched it. The third act is great, the plane scene between Tom Holland and Jon Favreau made me feel all the feels, and the Berlin fight scene between Tom Holland and Jake Gyllenhaal was just something else entirely.

So, yeah. It was fun enough.

But it still struck me as a convoluted mess of a movie. I talked about this after I saw Far From Home the first time, but it’s such a hindrance to the movie that this mess is, in my opinion, what made the movie ‘meh’ instead of possibly one of the greatest Spider-Man movies out there.

So… what about this movie am I going to vilify?

The villain, of course.

Conflicting—sort of?—motivations

Just like every protagonist, every antagonist needs to have their own motivations, ideas, and attitudes. This is what makes them the bad guy, because these motivations and idea have to conflict with those of the protagonist.  Voldemort and Harry Potter disagree about how to treat Muggles and Muggle-borns, Simba and Scar disagree about who should be king of the Pride Lands, and so forth. You get the idea.

Mysterio’s motivation is something along the lines of, “I’m mad at Tony Stark so I’m going to use his tech to blow up cities, hide this fact from the world, and convince everyone that I’m actually a hero.”

Firstly… what? Is that just me, or does that sound a lot like someone trying to get back at an ex-boyfriend by deciding that they’re going to be super successful and happy in life?

Secondly, what does this have to do with Spider-Man? His motivation is basically revenge against Tony Stark. And, with Stark dead, he’s already won by default.

Meanwhile, Peter’s motivation in the movie is “Mysterio, as it turns out, is a bad guy who wants to blow up London and I should stop him.”

Peter doesn’t actually show any moments where he’s mad that Mysterio is using Stark tech in his revenge plot (although he surely is) or where he’s appalled that Mysterio wants to control the world by lying to them (although he surely is).

The ideological conflict between the two lies in what is, to Mysterio, a simply means to an end—blow up London.

Keep it simple, stupid

It’s a pretty common saying, but it basically means that we shouldn’t even make things more complicated than they have to be.

The Vulture and his gang in Homecoming give us a pretty good example of this. We know that they steal alien tech from the Department of Damage Control, that they’ve been doing it for years, and that they seem to have it pretty down pat.

Here’s their plan to do so:

The Tinkerer finds out about when and where the items are going to be transported. Based on knowledge from prior heists, he makes sure the rest of the team has what they need to pull off the upcoming heist.

The team scopes out the area beforehand and determines the best place for the heist.

When the CDC trucks roll by, they radio the Vulture.

The Vulture swoops in, uses the Tinkerer’s tech to get into the truck, takes whatever he can grab quickly, and gets out.

Their plan is straightforward, simple for both the characters and the audience to understand, and best of all, it makes sense.

By comparison, here’s Mysterio’s plan. I’m not even going insult you guys by explaining why this plan doesn’t work as well as the Vulture’s—I’m sure you’ll see it.

(I’d also like to point out that I used the word ‘hope’ 11 times when I typed his plan out, so…)

Mysterio’s Great PlanTM:

Somehow find out about the EDITH glasses.

Somehow find out that Peter Parker and Spider-Man are the same person.

Attack a random village in Mexico, possibly killing a bunch of people. Hope that Fury shows up at all. Also hope that he shows up at just the right time, even though there’s no way to know if he’s even on the same continent when the attack happens.

Hope that your Really Great BackstoryTM is enough to fool the most paranoid, trigger-happy man—and his right-hand woman—in the world. Hope that SHIELD won’t do some sort of background check, demand some sort of evidence, or have systems in place that would detect issues with other dimensions. (After all, the Endgame talked at length about alternate dimensions, so it must be on SHIELD’s radar.)

Somehow gain the trust of the aforementioned paranoid, trigger-happy man in record time.

Sneak about behind Fury’s back, somehow getting a van-sized electromagnetic pulse-maker to various places in Europe, along with a few dozen drones, a group of people, and a metal suit of armour. (Seriously. How did they do it? You can’t get that shit on a commercial plane.) Hope that Fury doesn’t find out.

Somehow find out exactly when Fury is going to give Peter the EDITH glasses.

Convince Fury that you, the only person who has experience fighting Elementals, needs the help of someone who Fury knows is a traumatized, sixteen-year-old kid.

Convince the aforementioned traumatized kid to like you.

1Fight off an imitation water monster and hope that the aforementioned traumatized superhuman genius kid doesn’t notice that anything’s off.

Convince the same kid to trust you enough to give you access to a multi-billion-dollar orbital defense system, which it the last thing his mentor/father figure gave to him.

Hope the only security system attached to EDITH is Peter’s a-okay, and that the system won’t even warn Peter if he tries to give the glasses to someone who would have a red flag by their name in the Stark employee databases.

Gain access to EDITH. Laugh about your Evil PlanTM to a building full of people and hope that passers-by don’t hear you.

Fight an imitation fire monster in Prague. Again, hope Spider-Man doesn’t notice anything off with the imitation that he’s fighting and nothing makes Fury suspicious.

Hope you can convince Spider-Man not to Spider-Man while you blow up London.

Kill Fury during the same London attack, even though there’s no reason to assume that Fury will be in the thick of it. (Remember how he was away from all the fighting in both Avengers 1 and 2?)

Congratulations! You’ve achieved your goal of looking like a superhero while killing the only person who can stop you (in your opinion)!

Final step: Hope that nothing bad happens to Earth ever again, because you don’t actually have super powers and people will call on you to save the world.

[three-drink-amy]

If After All These Years, You’d Like to Meet

Master list/AO3

Just a heads up, part of this chapter that is a bit NSFW! 

Chapter Nine

It probably seemed questionable to her friends, but by pure coincidence, Claire’s schedule at the hospital picked way up after the intervention. She was hardly ever free for more than a spare night here or there. It had been a few weeks since she’d actually gotten the whole weekend off. Geillis knew how busy she was and Claire hoped she’d passed it on to the others.

As it was, Claire hadn't immediately felt like spending time with the group after the intervention. No matter how many times she reminded herself that it was all well intentioned, she still felt a bit raw. Their messages may have been in her favor, but their delivery stung. It was the first time since she’d moved to London that she didn't necessarily mind being busy. That way she had some time to get over the hurt she felt each time she thought about it again. In the end, they’d been right; Frank obviously had to go. Claire was still pleased that she'd finally dropped the ax. But she still didn't know how to be around her friends just yet.

It had been three weeks of surgeries and solitude when Claire got paged to the first floor visitor’s desk. She rounded the corner, wondering what was taking her downstairs when she saw Jamie standing by the desk. He had a nervous look about him. Wondering what he was up to, she picked up her pace. “Well fancy seeing you here,” she greeted with a grin.

Jamie’s face lit up as he looked at her. “Sassenach!” he replied, matching her smile. “It's been a long time.”

Claire frowned. “I know. I’m sure you guys all thought I was avoiding you but I promise you I haven't been.”

Jamie lifted up a hand to reassure her. “Dinna fash, Geillis told us ye’d been busier than ever.”

Claire nodded her relief. “Good, I’m glad.” She tilted her head and looked at him skeptically. “So what brings you here?”

He looked a bit sheepish as he started to explain. “Well as I said, Geillis let on how busy ye were, so I was worried that perhaps ye werena getting yer meals in. So I brought ye some lunch, just in case,” he said, holding up a bag for her.

She stared at him in awe, a smile widening on her face. “That's so sweet of you,” she breathed.

“Och, it’s no much. Just Pret. But I figured if ye needed to eat quickly, it would do.”

“I actually just finished up some paperwork so I do have time for lunch,” she informed him. “Would you by chance have time to join me?”

He beamed at her. “Well I believe so. I did bring some for myself after all.”

“Perfect!” She started walking away from the desk. Turning back, Claire motioned for him to follow. “Come on. I know a good spot.”

There was a small courtyard that was one of Claire’s favorite spots to find some peace. The trees and flowers planted around the place took her further from the hospital, even if she was still on the grounds. Some tables and chairs had been placed around the courtyard, as well as some benches. She led Jamie to a table far from the door. They sat down and began to enjoy the lunch Jamie had provided.

“So other than busy, how have ye been?” Jamie asked.

Claire really didn't have much to say. She’d been incredibly busy. It wasn't as though she could admit that it had been hard for her to want to be with her friends. Shrugging at first, Claire took a moment. “I really have been incredibly busy,” she agreed. “But also I…” she trailed off, not sure how to say it.

“We came on too strong,” Jamie finished. He looked to her for confirmation. “The stupid intervention. It was a grand misstep, aye?”

Claire felt embarrassed but nodded. “Just a bit. I know you all meant well but it hurt.” She took a bite of her sandwich as her comment hung in the air between them. “I really have been busy but I’ve also felt weird. You know?” He nodded. She took a drink of her water before continuing. “I guess something did come out of it.”

“What do ye mean?”

Claire looked up at Jamie. “I broke up with Frank.”

His eyebrows raised. “Did ye?” She nodded. He watched her for a beat before continuing. “And how did that go?”

“Well I wouldn't really take no for an answer,” she replied with a laugh. “He got really angry and accused me of a lot of things. Tried to blame the decline of our relationship all on me. It was all that I expected though.” She made the conscious choice to exclude the comment Frank had made about Jamie.

“How are ye doing?” Jamie asked hesitantly.

“I’m doing really well,” Claire said with pride. “I mean there are times where I do feel guilty. Even when I know it’s stupid. Or a random memory of a good time will pop in my head and make me a bit sad. But it wasn't working. And truthfully it probably hadn’t been working before I left Boston.”

“Ye just needed proof?” Jamie offered.

“That party was pretty good proof,” Claire agreed. She shook her head as she thought back on how uncomfortable the party had been. How she’d bounced around from person to person trying to make sure everything went well and that Frank was happy. Jamie was looking down at his food when her eyes flitted to him. The word “sister” kept screaming inside her head. Claire cleared her throat. “Anyway, so how have you been? How’s work?”

Jamie’s mouth pressed into a flat line. “Alright, I suppose. Dougal’s coming down in a few days so we’re all scrambling to get ready.”

“Oh that sounds just lovely,” she said sarcastically. Groaning, she sat back in her chair. “Wait, does that mean that Rupert will try to invite him out?”

“He likely will,” Jamie confirmed with a sigh. “But ye needn’t worry about that. Ye might still be busy,” he continued with a devious smirk as he put air quotes around the word busy.

Claire narrowed her eyes at him as she shook her head. “If you were smart, you’d be busy then too.”

Jamie nodded in agreement as he took another bite of his sandwich. He stared at her for a long moment before he spoke again. “Willie started the conversation about going out this weekend. Apparently he found a new pub he wants to try.” Claire sat back in her chair and waited for him to continue. “Anyway, if ye’d feel up to it, ye ken we’d all love to see ye again.” She did her best to keep her face expressionless. For some reason, it was fun watching Jamie squirm. “But ye ken, if the three weeks that have passed aren’t enough time to heal the wounds we dealt wi our insensitivity, then we understand.” She gave away her hand when she couldn’t stifle a laugh. “What’s funny?” he asked.  

“It’s just that you were the one who wouldn’t even say anything about Frank during the intervention and yet you’re the one here all but crawling over nails to not offend me and convince me to come hang out again,” she explained. “It just seems silly. You may have been part of it, but you weren’t the one talking.”

He shrugged. “They didn’t send me. I came on my own. They pretty much assumed ye’d never speak to them again after ye left the intervention. Geillis said ye barely talk to her here.”

Claire rolled her eyes. “They’re all a bunch of drama queens. I barely talk to Geillis because I’ve been in so many surgeries. Sometimes I feel like I forget what the world looks like outside of an OR.” She sighed as she leaned forward against the table. “I don’t hate any of you. I promise. And I’m actually off this weekend. It’s the first time in three weeks. So I’ll be there this weekend at whatever pub Willie wants us all to try.”

Jamie’s eyebrows raised. “Really? Ye’ll be there?”

She nodded in confirmation. “I will. Just don’t tell them ahead of time. Let me surprise them. Deal?”

Jamie grinned as he held out his hand for a shake. “Deal.”

~~~

Jamie was standing at the end of the block waiting for a sign of her. He’d already gotten texts from a few of his friends asking where he was. Claire was usually a prompt person. Something must have come up. His finger was hovering over her number when he heard her yelling his name. He turned and looked to see her tearing down the street towards him. She caught up to him, placing her hands against his shoulders to stop her momentum. “Sorry,” she panted. “I got caught up at the hospital.”

He patted her back as she bent over to catch her breath. “No worries, Sassenach. It’ll probably be a better entrance for ye if everyone else is there anyway.”

She stood up and tried to flatten hair against her head. Her curls were piled in a bun on top of her head. “Do you think they’ll be okay with me coming?” she asked in an uncharacteristically shy voice.

Jamie stared at her for a moment. “What do ye mean? Of course they’ll be happy to see ye. Claire, they werena offended that ye kept yer distance. We thought ye were mad at us. Not the other way around.”

She stared at him for a beat before nodding. “Okay. I suppose I trust you.”

“Suppose?” Jamie asked with a laugh.

Claire laughed with him. “Yep. Okay, let’s go. Let’s get this awkwardness over.”

Jamie rolled his eyes as he turned to walk toward the pub. He couldn’t understand why Claire seemed nervous to see her friends. They’d had many conversations in the past few weeks as they wondered if they’d driven her off for good. The intervention had seemed like a good enough plan at the time. Jamie had been able to tell from the moment it started that Claire wouldn’t react well. Who would in that situation? But he’d promised his support and so he sat there and watched her grow more and more frustrated by their friends. He wanted to explain to Claire that they’d just be happy she wanted to spend time with them again. More than anything, he wanted to put her at ease.

The door opened just as they were getting close. Claire grabbed the door and gestured for him to go first. She followed him in and walked right behind him. Earlier in the evening, she’d joked that she should hide and jump out to surprise them. He wondered if that’s what she was trying to do. The table of their friends was easy enough to locate. They were always a raucous group.

“Jamie!” Rupert called, flagging him down. He waved and walked in their direction, Claire still in line behind him. “Where’ve ye been man? Ye’re late.”

“Well…” Jamie began before stepping aside to reveal Claire behind him.

“Claire!” many of them cheered in unison. Jamie looked over at her with a big smile. She looked genuinely happy to see them. Claire patted him on the arm before walking over closer to the table.

“Beauchamp, it’s been too long,” Louise said with a tilt of her head. “We’ve missed you.”

Claire sat down next to her. “I’ve missed you guys too. I’m sorry that I’ve been so dreadfully busy. Geillis told you, surely.” Geillis nodded at her from across the table.

“Oh aye, she did,” Rupert assured. “But we were worried it was more our fault than anythin else.”

Claire shook her head. “No, I promise it wasn’t that.” She paused for a moment. “Although I do hope there are no more interventions coming down the line.”

The group laughed and assured her there weren’t. Claire seemed to relax once she realized that their friends really were just happy she was there.

“Jamie, you made it!”

Jamie turned to see John walking over with a beer in hand. “But of course. I said I’d be here.”

“What took you so long? We’ve already been here for almost a half hour,” he informed him. John followed Jamie’s glance over to where Claire was sitting. “Claire!”

Claire looked up, startled by her name being called. Surprise turned to confusion quickly. “John? What are you doing here?”

“Well ever since that party you threw, I have rather become part of the gang,” he said cheerily. “We’ve missed you the last month.”

“It hasn’t been a full month!” she defended.

“Oh no, of course not,” he agreed. As he walked past Jamie, he muttered, “Bloody close though.”

Jamie fought back the grin threatening to cross his face. He took one last glance at Claire before turning toward the bar to get a drink. She’d only been spending time with them for a few months, and yet in the time she’d avoided them, it had felt off. Jamie didn’t want to admit that it was Claire’s absence that had thrown him for a loop in the past few weeks. Still, there wasn’t much else it could be. Work had been the same. Not talking to Claire had been harder for him than it should have been.

Somehow in the few months she’d been back in his life, she’d become the person he went to first for everything. He’d shown up at the hospital earlier in the week because he was desperate to see her. Even if she was still angry with him and turned him away, he’d have at least seen her. There had been too many nights where he’d pulled out his phone to call or text her before putting it back. He didn’t want to bother her if she still needed time away. The way she’d looked after that disastrous intervention had left him a bit shaken. He hated knowing that he’d helped make her look that miserable. So he never reached out until he couldn’t take it any longer.

Jamie walked back over to the corner they were occupying and handed Claire her drink. She looked up at him, surprise coloring her face. “How’d you know?” she asked with a small smile. He just shrugged and took a sip of his own drink. It had been just the past Tuesday when Claire finally confirmed that she’d ended her relationship with Frank. Jamie could probably count the number of times Claire hadn’t been on his mind since then. Without the excuse of her being in a relationship, Jamie had no reason to not truly acknowledge how he felt. He looked up from his drink to see her laugh with John. All of their friends’ reasons that Claire was too good for Frank had somehow doubled as reasons Jamie shouldn’t let her get away. There was truly a feeling of relief from seeing Claire back among their group. She must have felt his gaze on her because she looked up at him and smiled.

In that instant, two realizations hit him at the exact same time. Number one: he was in love with Claire. Number two: he could never do anything about it.

He remembered the promise he’d made Ian so soon after he’d been reunited with Claire. But Ian didn’t know the pain that not seeing or speaking to Claire had caused him. Ian couldn’t have known how thrown Jamie felt by knowing he’d hurt her. Ian didn’t know how desperate Jamie was to be around her. There was no way he could risk losing her place in his life. The three weeks she’d frozen them all out had been proof enough that he needed her influence and her presence. So much as he might want to, he couldn’t jeopardize his friendship with Claire. It wasn’t as though she felt the same way for him. He could keep his feelings to himself if it meant he got to keep Claire.

~~~

Spending that first night back out with her friends had reaffirmed to Claire how much she needed all of them. The weeks she’d spent apart from them had been necessary, but now she was just pleased to have a solid group of friends. Just as Jamie’d said, they weren’t mad at her for being absent. It had been wonderful to see them all again and fall right back into their fun routine.

In the following weeks, she’d still been fairly busy, but made sure to find time to see at least some of her friends. She didn’t quite know how she actually went three full weeks without talking to Jamie. After that night out, they’d started getting lunch together when they could both manage it. A lot of times, he’d come to the hospital and they’d sit in the courtyard. It was nothing fancy, but it always made Claire feel better about her day.

It was a rare Friday night that she had off and no one had suggested to go out. Claire was actually at home, laying on her couch, enjoying a nice evening in. A knock at her door roused her from her perch. She wondered who could be stopping by unannounced. Opening the door, she saw John standing on her doormat. “What are you doing here?” she asked, amused.

“Well you know that deal I have with Jamie?” he asked. She nodded in response. “I was hoping I could make that deal with you this evening.”

Claire stepped aside, letting him walk into her home. “Why? What’s up with Jamie?”

“Well he’s on a date tonight so I don’t want to ruin any, er, opportunities that he might have this evening,” John explained.

Claire leaned back against her door, staring at John in confusion. “Jamie has a date tonight?” He looked back at her and nodded in a simple reply. “Jamie as in Jamie Fraser, our mutual friend?”

A smirk spread across John’s face. “Yes. Why, are you jealous?”

Claire barked out a laugh. “Jealous? Me? Never!” She shook her head vehemently and walked past him to sit down on her couch. “No, I’m not jealous. I’m just surprised is all. He never mentioned it to me. He usually tells me everything.”

John pointed his finger at her. “You’re jealous!”

Claire huffed. “Stop saying that! I’m not jealous. Jamie is just a friend. Good for him.” She watched as John planted himself at the other end of her couch. “So he told you that he was going on a date?”

John still looked amused by Claire’s reaction. “Yeah, he just mentioned it in passing. I asked if anyone was going out this weekend and he said he didn’t think so. Then he said he couldn’t go if they did throw something together because he had a date.” John eyed her curiously. “Maybe he didn’t tell you because he didn’t want to rub it in.”

“You think he thinks I’d be jealous?” Claire asked, worried of the image she’d been projecting.

“No, no, not like that. I just mean because you’re pretty freshly single. Maybe he was trying to be nice and not rub in the fact that he’s going on dates when you’ve been thrown back into the dating world,” John explained.

Claire watched him as she thought through his argument. It could have made sense. Jamie was always very protective of her feelings. She still couldn’t fight the feeling of irritation that he didn’t tell her. “Perhaps,” she said belatedly. “Maybe I am a bit jealous. Not of her, but of him. I mean, it’s been a long time.”

“Oh, you’re jealous that he could be getting some later?”

Claire glared at him. “Not that. Well, not only that. It’s been a long time since I went on any kind of date or had a romantic evening. But it’s also been a long time since I had any of that either. Since I moved to London, actually.”

“But Frank was here a couple of months ago,” John pointed out.

Claire nodded grimly. “Yeah, that didn’t happen that weekend.”

“What? Geez, no wonder you broke up with him,” he replied with a laugh.

Claire chuckled. “It wasn’t all him. I had been irritated with him and so I wasn’t really feeling it. The only time we’d have had the day he showed up was before the party and I was in full panic mode. Then he claimed he was jet lagged and went to bed before me. My mind and heart weren’t really in it. I guess that was a pretty good indicator that our relationship was on its last leg.”

“Mmm.” John was silent for a long moment. “So do you think you’re jealous of Jamie having sex because of that or because you want to be the one he’s having sex with?”

Claire laid her head back and groaned. “Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ! John, could you please stop talking about Jamie and I having sex. It’ll never happen.”

John looked at her skeptically. “The phrase “never say never” exists for a reason, Claire.”

“Oh yeah? What if I said that I will never have sex with Angus? What would your response be then?” Claire retorted.

“Fair point,” John conceded. “I would believe that statement.”

“So why won’t you believe it about Jamie?”

John laughed. “Because there is something there! You can lie to yourself all you want, but there is something between you and Jamie. All of us can see it. The only two who claim not to are the two of you.”

“You’ve talked to Jamie about it?” Claire pressed, against her better instincts. Yet again, the word “sister” floated through her mind.

“Well no, but I’m sure he’d deny it too.” She felt disappointed. Clearly it was too much to ask for some insight into Jamie’s mind from someone else. “But come on, you can’t tell me you’ve never thought of it!”

“No, I’ve never thought of it!” Claire said loudly.

“Have you ever read Hamlet, Claire?”

She was confused by his turn in conversation. “Of course I have.”

“The lady doth protest too much, methinks,” he quoted with a sly grin.

“Shut up, John. Quoting Shakespeare is not going to make me agree with you,” Claire said with a roll of her eyes. “Just drop it.”

“Fine,” he replied, lifting up his hands in defense. “I suppose I just have to take your word. I just don’t get why you had such a big reaction to knowing Jamie is on a date if there’s not something there.”

“Just let it go, John. Please,” she begged. “Talk about something else.”

“Okay.” He stretched out his legs to rest on her coffee table. “We have a football match tomorrow. You should come.”

“You’d want me there?”

“Of course! We usually go out and get food or drinks afterward, no matter the turn out. You could come with us. It would be great!” John encouraged.

Claire shrugged. “Sure. Sounds fun.”

Once the conversation steered away from Jamie, the two of them settled into a nice evening. Eventually John yawned and Claire got up to find blankets for him. He fell asleep on the couch and she wandered back to her room, praying that sleep would find her quickly.

She heard a knock at the door and quickly ran to answer it. Jamie stood on the other side with an intense look in his eye. “Jamie, wha-” Before she could finish her question, he crushed her mouth to his, holding her body against him. She quickly responded, running her hands through his hair, pulling him closer if that was even possible. Her back pressed against the wall as he eliminated any space between them. His hands were roaming her body, finding all the places she wanted his touch. Well, almost all. When his hands found her ass, he groaned into her mouth.

He broke away and laid his forehead against hers. They were panting together, staring into each other’s eyes. “It’s ye I want,” he whispered.

She kissed him again hard, before responding. “Then take me.” His hands flew to her clothes, trying to rid her of her pajamas as fast as possible. She followed suit, taking the time to unbutton each button on his shirt. Why were there so many buttons? Her pants and shirt were off and his mouth was on her neck, distracting her from her task.

She was throwing his shirt behind him when he whispered in her ear. “I want ye so much I can scarcely breathe.” Claire quickly went to pull down his trousers, not wanting to waste any more time. They’d wasted enough time as it was. He stepped out of his pants and picked her up, her legs wrapping around him. Her mouth quickly found his again, locking in a searing kiss. She spared no thought to where John might be as he carried her back to her room.

Her back hit the bed and he was hovering over her. She wanted him everywhere at once. His mouth was on her breast, his hand on the other. He was quickly working her up into a state. She reached down between them and grabbed him, making him groan. He was kissing his way down her body when she pulled him back to her by his hair. She kissed him languidly, rolling her hips against him. Panting, she looked up at him, noting the blackness of his eyes. “Jamie, I want you inside me. Now.” He grinned deviously and nodded, returning to kissing down her body. She was writhing under his attentions, wishing he would just do what she needed. Moaning his name got his attention. He left a kiss between her legs before moving back over her again.

He was just about to drive home when she found herself alone. Claire looked around, panting. She was sweating and clinging to her sheets. Her bed was empty and she was fully clothed. “Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ. It was a fucking dream,” she breathed out loud. “Fuck you, John.”

When she got up the next morning, John had already left. She found a note on her counter reminding her of the game time that morning. Claire rolled her eyes. She was still incredibly shaken from the dream she’d had the night before. Never before had she had such a salacious dream about someone so close to her. A large part of her insisted that she couldn’t go to the game. There was no way she could see Jamie all hot and sweaty and not freak out. But at the same time, she had promised John that she’d go. A text dragged her from her thoughts. It was John, checking to see if she was still coming. With a sigh, she let him know she’d be there. It seemed important to him. Maybe watching a football game would take her mind out of the gutter where her dream had left it.

Claire had gotten there well before she needed to. A quick survey of the field showed that she’d even beaten Jamie there. But he wasn’t the one she was really looking for. John was standing by a set of bleachers, taking a drink from a water bottle. Claire stomped over and slapped the bottle out of his hand, sending water flying in all directions. John gaped at her, jumping in surprise. “Well hello, Claire. What the hell was that?”

“You bloody bastard,” she said in reply.

“Say what?” he asked, clearly confused.

“You just had to spend so much of the night last night talking about me and Jamie and so what did I dream about last night?”

A large, excited smile graced his face. “Did you have a sex dream about Jamie?” He seemed far too pleased.

Claire slapped his arm. “Yes, you arse. Now I feel so embarrassed. I don’t even know how I’ll look him in the eye.”

“Then why come here?” John asked. “You know he’ll be here.”

“Because you asked me to come!”

John tilted his head as he smiled at her. “Aww, I’m so touched, Claire.”

“Don’t be. I’m still mad at you. You’re the one who put it in my head with all the “You’re jealous so you must love Jamie” shit you were spouting last night.”

“Was it a pleasant dream?” John asked with a shit-eating grin. Claire punched him in the top of the arm. “Hey!” He rubbed his arm as she glared at him. “Are you telling me you’ve never had a sex dream about Jamie before? You’ve known each other for a long time.”

“The last time I saw him before February, I was ten years old,” Claire reminded him. “So yeah, I can say that I never had a sex dream about Jamie. That’s not even the point, though. This is so uncomfortable.”

“Look, you can’t control your dreams,” John offered reassuringly. “On the other hand, though, you seem to be having a strong reaction to this one.” Claire was about to reply when she saw John tilt his head up in greeting to someone behind her.

“Who is that?” she asked, knowing the likely answer.

“Your dream-lover,” John teased.

“You have another arm for me to punch,” she reminded him.

Jamie walked up to stand with them. “Sassenach, I didna realize ye’d be here.” He reached out and touched her back. She couldn’t help but flinch, the memory of his touch in her dream still at the front of her mind. John stifled a laugh as he watched her.

“Yeah, John invited me last night,” she said flatly. “Anyway, I’ll let you guys get warmed up. I’m going to go sit down.”

Jamie nodded at her. “Alright. Ye’ll join us afterward?” He had a hopeful look in his eyes and Claire couldn’t crush it.

“Of course.” She glared at John one more time before walking to take her seat.

The game was rather entertaining for only knowing two people playing. It went by surprisingly quickly. John kicked in a final goal right before the clock stopped, granting a victory to their team. Claire jumped up and down as she cheered for them.

They went to a restaurant after the game ended to celebrate. Claire was sitting at a table by herself until Jamie sat down across from her. John was still over talking to some of his teammates by the counter. “Good game,” she said with a smile as Jamie sat.

He returned the smile. “Why thank ye.” He eyed her for a moment. “So how did John rope ye into coming to one of our games?”

Claire laughed as she shrugged. “I don’t know. That boy must have quite a way with words.” She shook her head before taking a sip of her drink. “He was sitting on my couch and just asked and for some reason, I agreed.”

Jamie’s brow furrowed. “The two of ye were hanging out? I didna realize ye did.”

“Oh we don’t usually. He came over to sleep on my couch,” Claire explained. She leaned into her courage and continued. “He said he didn’t want to ruin any opportunities your date might grant.” Jamie closed his eyes and shook his head. “You never mentioned you were going on a date.” Claire could only hope it came out playfully.

“That’s because it didna seem like a big deal,” Jamie replied. “A friend from work said he wanted to set me up with a lass he kens. I didna want him to but he was a convincing fellow. He promised me that this lass was just perfect for me,” he told. Claire couldn’t help but notice her stomach turning at hearing this girl was perfect for him. “As it turns out, the only reason she was perfect for me was because we’re both Scottish.”

Claire laughed, feeling relieved. She hated the feelings coursing through her. Maybe John had been right and she was jealous. Was knowing Jamie could date someone and find the love of his life enough to make her jealous? According to him, there wasn’t much to be jealous of anyway. Why did she feel like this? She felt strangely protective of him. Her mind took the time to remind her that it was not the first time she’s felt this way. Jamie kept talking and Claire did her best to join in and not let her mind wander.

Everyone was getting ready to leave and Claire had spent most of the afternoon just talking to Jamie. They were standing on the street near Jamie’s car. Claire noticed John hanging back by the door of the restaurant, subtly watching them. “So do ye need a ride home?”

She had some things she needed to talk about with John. “No,” she declined. “Thank you though.”

Jamie nodded. “Anytime.” He moved to get in his car before turning back to her. “Would you want to get breakfast tomorrow? I ken ye say yer breakfasts are always lousy the days ye work.”

She stared at him in awe. His memory of things she said was truly touching. Claire had never met anyone who actually remembered the things she talked about that well. Smiling, she said, “I’d love to. That sounds great.”

He smiled back at her. “Great. I’ll see ye in the morning.”

She waved to him as he drove away before she walked over to where John was standing. Yet again, she punched him in the arm. “What the hell, Beauchamp?”

“You know, I could live with my own ignorance. I could be so happy ignoring the way I feel about things. But no, you have to barge in and talk and make me question everything. And that always leads to realizations. And realizations make my life harder. I just wanted to be relaxed right now. But no, you had to ruin it,” Claire ranted.

“Ruin it how?” John asked, staring at her like she’d lost her mind.

“You were right, okay?” she admitted. “I was jealous.” John’s eyes widened. “I had never really taken the time to think about it until after you said everything last night. But now I’ve thought about it and I can’t stop thinking about it.” Claire sighed grandly. “I have feelings for Jamie.”

Next chapter

[elm-tree]

BE MORE CHILL OFF-BROADWAY: THOUGHTS

So I got to see Be More Chill at the Perishing Square Signature Center last night, and it was absolutely incredible! I just wanted to rant about some of my favorite parts. Spoilers ahead!!

Okay so at Jeremy’s laptop had a “Black Suits” sticker on it and I actually laughed out loud when I saw it. I thought it was a cool little inside joke for Joe Iconis and Will Roland

Will Roland pouring lotion into his hand after “waitin’ for my porno to loud” freaking KILLED ME. 

The costumes were all so bright and colorful and it made all the characters stand out.

Brooke pretty much had a can of La Croix in her hand the entire show and it was hysterical. 

Gerard Canonico has such amazing stage presence. When he was onstage, it was HIS SHOW. 

Rich was also wearing a Deadpool belt which I loved. 

I’m pretty sure they actually redesigned all the costumes and din’t reuse anything from the Two River Theatre production, which I found super cool. 

When Michael entered for his lil reggae section at the beginning, the audience went wild and it was jut really cool. 

Michael’s sweatshirt has a bunch of patches on it, and one of them was a gay pride flag. 

Will Roland can play vulnerable and soft very well. I got to see him in Dear Evan Hansen and the entire time I kept thinking “this guy just walked right out of Be More Chill”. I was super happy he was a part of this. His Jeremy was very relatable and awkward, I loved it.

Christine doing the choreography from A Chorus Line and then getting lifted up before signing up for the play was hysterical. 

STEPHANIE HSU IS SUCH AN INCREDIBLE ACTRESS. 

Okay so “I Love Play Rehearsal” is a really great song, but I always find myself needing to be in a specific mood to listen to it. BUT SEEING STEPHANIE DO IT LIVE WAS ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. The energy she emits is something special. 

Jake was smooth as FUCK and I loved him. He gave off a total fuck-boy vibe cause of his costume, but he was so damn like-able. 

Also Jake dabbed at some point during the first rehearsal scene and it was FANTASTIC. 

The choreography during the Squip Song was super cool. There was a lot of tutting. 

Rich is just such a great character. The Squip Song was incredible, and they added in a new rap-ish section at the end which totally worked for the character. 

Basically Rich was just an uncontrollable ball of fire. 

Two Player Game was so cute and I just love George and Will so much. 

They had fake video game footage playing during Two Player Game, and one of the zombies in the game dabbed. 

The Michael/Mr. Heere relationship is so great. Michael was really trying to help Mr. Heere out whenever Jeremy was shit-talking him. 

The Payless Shoestore guy was absolutely hysterical holy crap.  

So Jason Tam’s SQUIP was very different from Eric William Morris’s SQUIP. His SQUIP was a lot less harsh and very *ahem* chill. He was almost nurturing, which only made his eventual turn to evil even more stark and bone chilling.  

Stephanie Hsu was dressed as an old lady on a motor scooter during Be More Chill Part 2 and it was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.

Upgrade is just a super fun song and once again the flashy costumes and the awesome choreography just left a huge smile on my face. 

OKAY I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THE NEW ACT ONE FINALE “LOSER GEEK WHATEVER”. It basically expanded on the end of “Upgrade” and fleshed out Jeremy’s thought process in ignoring Michael a lot more. I loved it, and it reminded me a little bit of Defying Gravity. 

Will Roland has such a gorgeous voice.

Okay unrelated annecdote: I saw Joe Iconis in the bathroom at intermission and it was so awkward I couldn’t stop laughing (i didn’t say anything to him cause I ran into him before the show, and also it was the bathroom which is always super awkward)

HALLOWEEN WAS JUST SUCH A WONDERFUL JOYOUS EXPLOSION OF COLOR

Jenna Roland was dressed as a clown (like a full body suit that covered her face) and it was so freaking funny. 

Do You Wanna Hang was just super funny. Also Rich climbing up the window chasing Jeremy was hysterical. 

Okay so the whole “Creeps” shirt thing turned out to be the shirt Michael wore during Michael In The Bathroom (”I’m a creeper in the bathroom...”)

When Jeremy turned on Michael and called him a loser, I got chills. Jeremy’s character arc is a little Evan Hansen-ish, but with a completely different tone and sense of humor. 

Will Roland has incredible comic timing. 

Michael In The Bathroom...HOLY CRAP. I’ve listening to a bunch of different versions, I’ve seen videos of George performing it, but nothing compares to see him do it live. I started crying. And the applause at the end of the song was colossal. 

The scene between Jeremy and Christine at the party where Jeremy asks her out was just so cute. You’re so mad at Jeremy for abandoning Michael, but then you start to see the old Jeremy peeking through and you have a little sympathy.

*weird robot noises*

GERARD ASKING EVERYBODY FOR MOUNTAIN DEW RED WAS WONDERFUL. 

Okay so there was actually a scene where Rich talked to his SQUIP and he didn’t want to help his SQUIP take over the school. Then he decides to set the fire. It was actually really dark. I liked it a lot. 

Tiffany Mann as Jenna Roland was so incredible. 

When Brooke came on for The Smartphone Hour, she had a banana shoved in her mouth and was just sucking on it. Later she just threw it off the stage, and it was hysterical. 

At the end of the Smartphone Hour, all the guys in the cast came out in drag and I couldn’t stop laughing. 

The applause at the end of The Smartphone Hour was so insane holy crap. 

The Pants Song made me cry tbh. The Michael/Mr. Heere bond is so great.  

They took out the line where Michael tells Mr. Heere he needs to go buy a pair of pants, which I think makes Mr. Heere having pants on at the end have more of an impact.

Michael’s awkward reaction to Jeremy’s dad asking “do you love [Jeremy]?” was GOLDEN. 

The Pitiful Children was actually switched with The Pants Song. The new lyrics worked really well. It made Jeremy deciding to help the SQUIP more believable.

The Play was just so fun to watch.

I really enjoyed the fact that Christine knew what a SQUIP was. 

THE AUDIENCE WENT CRAZY DURING “MICHAEL MAKES AN ENTRANCE”. George just kinda reggae danced onto the stage I loved it. 

BISEXUAL RICH. 

Rich was also kinda hitting on Michael (who awkwardly played it off) but it was super cute. 

The cluster of popular kids in the second verse of “Voices In My Head” just made me cry idk why. 

Jenna, Chloe, and Brooke have really good, really subtle character development. 

Michael and Christine did a little hip bump thing and it was so cute. 

Everyone was just kinda friends at the end and I was legit crying. 

At the end, Jeremy was onstage with Michael,  Christine, and his dad. They left his one by one until he was alone. He took a deep breath and the lights went out. I thought that was a great ending for Jeremy’s character arc. 

THE CAST KINDA HAD A STRAIGHT UP DANCE PARTY AT THE END IT WAS SO AWESOME. 

SEE THE SHOW IF YOU CAN GET TICKETS???