#go see be more chill off broadway

[reidmarieprentiss]

Strawberry Lemonade

Summary: Spencer and you have a summer fling before you start your masters in theater, but you both fall in love. A chance encounter years later will give you the chance to reconnect.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Broadway fem!reader

Category: fluff

Warnings/Includes: summer love, suggestive content (16+), happy ending

Word count: 6.7k

a/n: this is cuteee i imagine season 1 spencer at the beginning and season 7 spencer at the end but its up to you hehe

main masterlist

Six years ago…

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” you heard the voice before you felt the cold liquid soaking through your shirt, chilling your skin. The sensation was sudden and startling, making you gasp and jump back instinctively.

“Ah!” you exclaimed, eyes wide as you looked down at the spreading stain on your clothes. It was a shock, but more amusing than upsetting.

“I—I didn’t see you, I am so, so sorry. Um, let me get you a napkin,” the man rushed out, his voice laced with genuine panic as he scrambled to make amends.

You finally looked up at him, and despite the situation, a smile tugged at your lips. “Whoa, wait, it’s okay!” you reassured him, waving your hands to calm him down. “What did you spill on me?” you asked, your tone light and humorous as you took in his flushed, slightly disheveled appearance.

“Strawberry lemonade…” he admitted, wincing as if expecting you to be upset.

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Well, I might be sticky, but at least I’ll smell good!” The sound of your laughter seemed to ease his anxiety, and for a moment, he looked relieved, albeit still a bit embarrassed. 

“I’m really sorry again,” he said, his tone sheepish as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I was so focused I just wasn’t paying attention to where I was walking.”

“Seriously, it’s okay!” you assured him, still smiling. “I can just head home and change. I didn’t have any big plans today anyway.”

“Still, it’s inconvenient,” he insisted, clearly feeling guilty.

“Oh well, you’re just keeping my day interesting. Do you want to do that all summer long?” you joked, the lighthearted comment slipping out before you could stop yourself.

“Huh?” He blinked, momentarily confused by your question.

You chuckled, shaking your head at your own boldness. “I’m watching my parents’ house for the summer. Not sure what I’m going to do… I probably shouldn’t have told you that, random male stranger.”

His expression shifted to one of concern. “Uh, no, you should not tell people that. But, I am in the FBI, actually. I catch the people you shouldn’t tell that you’re watching your parents’ house.”

Your eyes widened in surprise, curiosity and skepticism bubbling up inside you. “Wow! That’s cool, and I totally don’t believe you at all,” you laughed again, the sound warm and infectious. You noticed how his eyes seemed to light up at the sound of your laughter.

He fumbled for a moment, clearly eager to prove himself. After a brief struggle, he managed to retrieve his badge from his pocket. “Here,” he said, holding it out for you to see, the credentials gleaming under the light.

You leaned in slightly to inspect it, your eyes narrowing playfully. “Alright, I believe you, Spencer Reid,” you said, pronouncing his name with a teasing lilt.

The blush that spread across his cheeks was instant and endearing. “Thanks, um…” he trailed off, realizing he didn’t know your name.

“Y/N L/N,” you said, extending your hand toward him, your smile never wavering.

He glanced at your hand, then back up at you, a hint of nervousness still lingering in his eyes. “It’s actually safer for us to kiss with all of the germs that are passed through hands touching,” he said, the words tumbling out before he could stop them.

You raised an eyebrow, amused by his sudden awkwardness. “Well, if you buy me a drink instead of spilling one on me, I’ll give you that kiss,” you teased, your voice carrying a playful challenge.

Spencer’s eyes widened, his blush deepening as he realized you were serious. For a moment, he was speechless, but then a shy smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “Deal,” he said softly, his heart racing as he met your gaze.

—

You had gotten Spencer Reid’s number after your first encounter, agreeing to find a time to get that drink he owed you. The anticipation of seeing him again had you smiling as you got ready for your casual meetup. You wanted to see if he was just as endearing without the strawberry lemonade incident.

As you approached the café, you spotted Spencer sitting at a small table outside. His posture was slightly tense, his hands wrapped around a coffee cup as he scanned the surroundings nervously. When he saw you approaching, though, his face lit up with a shy but genuine smile, one that instantly warmed your heart.

“Spencer!” you called out, waving as you neared the table.

“Hi, Y/N,” he responded, his voice soft but filled with warmth.

When you reached the table, you noticed two drinks already waiting. You raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. “Did you order for me?” you asked, a hint of amusement in your tone.

Spencer nodded, looking bashful as he explained, “I did. You mentioned that you liked chai lattes, so I got you one.”

Your heart fluttered at his thoughtfulness, and you couldn’t help but smile even wider. “You are the sweetest! Thank you!” You took a seat across from him, picking up the warm cup and taking a sip. The spiced, creamy flavor was perfect, and you let out an appreciative hum. “It’s delicious, and look at that! It made it into my mouth and not on my clothes,” you teased, your eyes twinkling with humor.

Spencer chuckled, the tension easing from his shoulders. “Yeah, I promise not to ruin your clothes this time,” he said, the corners of his mouth quirking up in a small smile.

You leaned in slightly, a mischievous glint in your eye. “What about next time?”

Spencer choked on his drink, caught off guard by your playful question. You couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction, finding his awkwardness endearing. Once he recovered, he grinned sheepishly, his cheeks tinged with pink. “I’ll work on my coordination before then,” he replied, his voice laced with embarrassment and amusement.

You giggled, shaking your head. “I’m just messing with you, Spencer. But I’m glad you’re thinking ahead.”

He relaxed even more, clearly enjoying your company as much as you were enjoying his. The conversation flowed easily between you two, filled with light banter, shared stories, and plenty of laughter. It was clear that this was just the beginning of something special—something that neither of you could have predicted from a simple spilled drink.

—

As the summer days drifted by, Spencer had become a regular fixture in your life. He was your constant companion, always ready for an adventure whenever his demanding job allowed. Whether it was movie nights on the couch, intense games of chess in the park, or wandering through the quiet halls of a museum, every moment with him was something you cherished. But today, you were ready to take things to the next level, to let him know just how much you enjoyed his company in a way that left little room for misinterpretation.

Spencer was coming over again, this time for a swim in the lake behind your parents’ house. He’d been over many times before, but today was different. Today, you were determined to make your intentions clear.

The sound of his car pulling up the driveway sent a thrill of anticipation through you. You smoothed down your cover-up and opened the door just as he was about to knock. “Hey, babe,” you greeted him with a playful grin, the casual endearment slipping from your lips effortlessly.

Spencer’s cheeks immediately flushed a light shade of pink, clearly caught off guard. He wasn’t used to pet names, especially not from someone like you—someone who had become increasingly important to him over these past few months. “Hi, Y/N,” he managed to reply, his voice soft and a little unsure.

“Are you ready to swim?” you asked, your eyes twinkling with mischief as you leaned against the doorframe.

“Mhm,” he nodded, lifting the small bag he brought with him. “I brought my swimsuit.”

“Awe, damn,” you pouted dramatically, teasing him with a sparkle in your eye. “I thought we were going skinny dipping.”

Spencer’s eyes widened, and he stammered, “Y/N!”

You couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction, biting your lip to suppress a grin. “I’m joking! Maybe…” you added with a wink before turning to lead him inside. You could feel his eyes on you, nervousness and curiosity radiating from him.

Once he changed, you led Spencer out to the dock that stretched over the lake. The sun was warm, the water inviting, and the setting was perfect. Spencer was busy setting up the beach chairs, focused on getting everything just right, when you called out to him.

“Hey, Spencer, can you help me out?” Your voice was light, almost innocent.

He turned to see what you needed, and his eyes nearly popped out of his head when he caught sight of you. There you stood, your cover-up discarded to reveal a tiny swimsuit that left very little to the imagination. The way the fabric clung to your curves, barely covering what it needed to, had Spencer’s mind spinning. He was completely unprepared for this.

“Su–sure,” he stammered, struggling to keep his gaze respectful even as his face turned a deep shade of crimson.

You smiled at his reaction, a mixture of amusement and satisfaction. You had his attention now, that much was clear. “Thanks,” you said, moving closer to him, letting your arm brush against his as you reached for the sunscreen. “Would you mind helping me with my back?”

Spencer swallowed hard, his brain short-circuiting as he nodded. “Of course,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

As he carefully applied the sunscreen, his fingers trembling slightly as they skimmed over your skin, you couldn’t help but smile to yourself. 

“Mmm, your hands are so warm, Spencer. This feels nice,” you murmured, letting your eyes flutter closed as his hands worked gently across your back. You could feel the heat radiating from his palms, soothing against your skin. 

Spencer made a small, high-pitched sound that was almost a squeak, clearly caught off guard by your comment. “I’m—uh, I’m glad,” he stammered, his voice cracking slightly.

As his hands reached your shoulders, you rolled them, leaning back into his touch, allowing yourself to let out a soft, almost involuntary, sound of pleasure. It was subtle, but you knew it would have an effect on him. “Can you get my lower back too, please?” you asked, your voice laced with just enough sweetness to make him melt.

“Ok—okay,” Spencer managed to say, his breath hitching as he moved his hands lower. When his fingers finally reached your lower back, you couldn’t resist arching it just a bit, causing your hips to shift subtly, drawing his attention further down.

“Thanks, Spencer,” you said, turning your head slightly to glance back at him with a mischievous smile. “You’re good with your hands.”

Spencer’s face was bright red by now, and he cleared his throat, quickly pulling his hands away as if they’d been burned. “Um, you’re all done! Let’s, uh, let’s get in the water!” he blurted out, almost too fast for the words to be coherent.

You couldn’t help but laugh, enjoying the effect you had on him. “Don’t you need sunscreen?” you asked, raising an eyebrow as you watched him turn his back to you, clearly flustered.

“Nope!” he shouted, his voice a bit higher than usual, before making a beeline for the edge of the dock. Without a second thought, he dove into the lake, the cold water a welcome relief from the heat you’d stirred up inside him.

You watched, amused, as Spencer resurfaced, his hair plastered to his forehead as he pushed it back with one hand. He looked at you with wide eyes, a mixture of embarrassment and something else you couldn’t quite place. You knew he was trying to compose himself, but you could tell you’d rattled him in the best way possible.

“Water’s great!” he called out, trying to sound casual, though his voice still carried a note of nervousness. “You should join me.”

You smirked, taking your time as you walked to the edge of the dock. “Oh, I plan to,” you said, your tone playful as you prepared to jump in after him, the summer day suddenly feeling a whole lot warmer.

You and Spencer splashed around in the cool water, laughing and enjoying the kind of carefree fun that usually only comes with childhood. The day was perfect, the sun shining down, the water glistening, and you couldn’t help but feel a warmth growing in your chest every time you looked at him. There was something so endearing about Spencer, especially now with his big, round eyes wide with wonder, his wet hair sticking to his forehead in messy strands. He was so pretty.

“Y/N?” Spencer called out suddenly, a hint of concern in his voice as he glanced around, squinting since he had left his glasses on the dock. You had slipped beneath the surface, and he couldn’t see where you had gone.

“Ahh!” he yelped when he felt hands on his waist, the surprise making him jump. But before he could fully process what was happening, you popped up right in front of him, grinning as you wiped the water and hair from your face.

“Hi,” you whispered softly, the playfulness in your eyes unmistakable.

“You scared me,” he admitted, still catching his breath from the sudden startle.

“Sorry, Spence,” you replied, your voice gentle, though there was a lingering note of amusement.

“It’s okay,” he said, his voice softer now as he looked at you, his nerves easing but still very much present.

Without a word, you wrapped your arms around his neck, drawing closer. He stiffened slightly, but didn’t pull away. Feeling bold, you decided to make your next move, wrapping your legs around his torso as well, anchoring yourself to him in the water. His hands instinctively moved to support you, his fingers brushing your waist as he tried to steady himself.

“You’re like a koala,” Spencer observed, his voice a bit breathless, the situation clearly getting to him.

“Mmm, do koalas like wet nerds?” you teased, your lips just inches from his, your breath warm against his damp skin.

“What—” he began, but before he could finish, you leaned in and pressed your lips to his, your heart racing as you made your intentions clear.

For a moment, Spencer froze, clearly caught off guard by the suddenness of your kiss. Panic started to bubble up inside you, and you quickly pulled back, searching his face for any sign that you’d made a mistake. “I’m sorry, was that not okay?” you asked, your voice tinged with worry as you began to second-guess yourself.

But before you could spiral too far, Spencer’s hand cupped your face, his touch gentle but firm. He didn’t say a word, just pulled you back toward him, his other hand sliding down to grip your hips, pulling you flush against him as he kissed you back. This time, there was no hesitation, no uncertainty—just the warmth of his lips on yours, the cool water lapping around you, and the undeniable chemistry that had been building between you all summer.

The kiss deepened, his lips moving against yours with a passion that surprised you, his usual shyness nowhere to be found. You melted into him, feeling the last of your doubts wash away as you wrapped yourself even tighter around him, the world fading until it was just you and Spencer, lost in the moment, lost in each other.

—

The day at the lake marked the beginning of your official relationship with Spencer, and from then on, your summer together blossomed into the kind of romance you’d always dreamed of. There were countless moments that felt like they were straight out of a movie—bouquets of flowers delivered unexpectedly, rosy cheeks from laughter, bike rides on cobblestone streets, and endless time spent in each other’s company. Spencer was always so thoughtful, his gestures sweet and genuine, and you couldn’t help but fall deeper for him with every passing day.

But as the summer days dwindled, so did the time you had left before returning to school. One afternoon, Spencer walked into the living room of your parents’ house, his face bright with excitement. “Hey, love,” he said, his voice warm and affectionate as he approached you.

“Hmm?” you responded, glancing up from your computer where you were half-listening while reviewing your reading list for the fall term at Hunter College. 

“There’s this annual FBI gala in September,” Spencer began, leaning down to place a tender kiss on the top of your head. “I was wondering if you’d like to be my date.”

You nodded absentmindedly, still focused on your work. “Uh, sure, babe. Sounds fun!”

Spencer smiled, pleased by your agreement. “Amazing, it’s the last Saturday of September.”

It wasn’t until he mentioned the date that realization hit you, and your heart sank. “Oh no… I’ll be back at school by then.”

“What?” Spencer’s smile faltered, confusion and disappointment flickering across his face as he looked at you.

“Well, I’m going back to school at the beginning of September… I’m only here for the summer, I told you that, baby.”

“I know you did,” Spencer sighed, the disappointment settling in as he plopped down on the couch. “I guess I didn’t think about how soon you were going back.”

Seeing him so crestfallen made your heart ache. You quickly set your computer aside and moved to climb into his lap, wrapping your arms around him. Spencer’s hands instinctively found your waist, holding you close as you nestled against him. “I’m sorry, Spence,” you said softly, brushing your fingers through his hair. “Maybe I can still come? If I’m not too busy with work and school?”

“Yeah,” he replied, though the frown on his face made it clear he wasn’t convinced. He avoided your gaze, his eyes focused on some distant point.

“Hey,” you whispered, tilting his chin up so he had no choice but to look at you. “We still have all of August, you still have me all to yourself for a whole month.”

“That’s true,” he murmured, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

You leaned in closer, your lips brushing his as you spoke. “Can you think of anything you want to do with me while I’m all yours?” you asked, your voice playful, your eyes sparkling with mischief as you smirked at him.

Spencer’s smile grew a little wider, and he let out a soft chuckle. “I can think of a few things,” he said, his tone teasing but his gaze affectionate. “But we might need more than a month.”

“Well then, you better start planning,” you whispered against his lips, before closing the small distance between you in a tender kiss, hoping to chase away the cloud of impending separation with the warmth of your affection.

—

“I can’t believe you leave next week,” Spencer mumbled into your stomach, his voice muffled as he pressed his face into your skin, seeking comfort in the warmth of your body.

Spencer’s words hung in the air, the weight of them settling deep in your chest. You’d known this moment would come, the one where the reality of your impending departure would hit both of you with full force. But hearing him say it, feeling the emotion behind his words, made it all the more real. 

You sighed softly, your fingers threading through his hair as you stared up at the ceiling, trying to keep the tears at bay. “Spence… please stop mentioning it. I don’t want to cry again. Can’t we just enjoy this week?”

He lifted his head slightly, resting his chin on your soft tummy as he looked up at you, his eyes full of regret for bringing it up. “Yes, I’m sorry, love,” he murmured, his voice sincere.

For a moment, you just looked at him, taking in every detail of his face—the way his hair fell into his eyes, the softness of his expression, the beauty that radiated from him so clearly. “You’re so beautiful, Spencer Reid,” you mused, your heart squeezing in your chest at how deeply you felt for him.

Spencer’s eyes softened even more, and then, almost as if he couldn’t hold it back any longer, he said, “I love you.” It was the first time he’d said it, the words slipping out with such raw honesty that they made your breath hitch.

“Fuck, Spencer,” you laughed, even as tears welled up in your eyes, “I said not to make me cry.”

His expression shifted from worry to understanding in an instant, and he quickly sat up, pulling you into his arms, holding you close in the bed. “Why are you crying?” he asked, concern lacing his voice as he brushed a tear from your cheek with his thumb.

“Because I love you too,” you whispered, your smile tinged with sadness as you looked up at him, the reality of your situation crashing down on you.

The look in Spencer’s eyes changed then, deepening into something more intense, more profound. He kissed you, but this time it was different—there was more emotion, more passion than either of you had ever felt before. It wasn’t just a kiss; it was a promise, a declaration, a desperate attempt to hold onto this moment, this connection, for as long as possible.

Slowly, he guided you back down onto the pillows, his body moving between your legs, his hands caressing your sides with a tenderness that made your heart ache. His lips never left yours, the kiss deepening as he settled over you, his breath warm against your skin.

“Spencer?” you whispered hesitantly, your voice trembling slightly. You knew he wasn’t very experienced, and until now, the two of you hadn’t gone further than heavy makeouts. He’d only seen you topless once, and even then, he’d been adorably flustered.

“I’m sure, darling,” he breathed, his voice steady but filled with a nervous excitement that matched your own.

“Oh—okay,” you replied softly, your heart racing as you let yourself sink into the moment, trusting him, trusting this love.

That morning, as the sun filtered through the curtains, casting a warm, golden glow over the room, you lay tangled in the sheets with Spencer. Both of you basking in the intimacy you’d shared, it had been more than just a physical connection; it was a merging of hearts, a deepening of the bond that had grown between you over the summer.

In those moments, with the world outside fading away, you realized that Spencer had stolen your heart completely, just as you had become his first in so many ways. The warmth of the sun on your skin, the softness of the sheets, and the gentle rise and fall of his breath beside you—it all felt like a dream, a perfect culmination of the love that had blossomed between you.

As you lay there, wrapped in each other's arms, you knew that no matter what the future held, this moment would always be yours.

—

“Okay, so call me as soon as you make it to your apartment. And… text and email as much as you can,” Spencer said, his voice trembling as he fought to keep his composure.

The moment was heavy with emotion as you stood by your car, Spencer’s eyes shimmering with unshed tears. The weight of the impending separation hung between you, thick and tangible, making every word feel like it was being carved into your hearts.

“I will, Spence,” you nodded, your own voice barely steady as you bit your lip, trying desperately to hold back the sob that threatened to break free.

“I love you, please know that,” he whispered, the raw emotion in his words making your heart ache.

“I know, baby, I know,” you murmured, wrapping your arms around him and pressing your lips to his in a kiss that conveyed everything you couldn’t put into words. “I love you too, so much.”

As you pulled back slightly, Spencer’s voice cracked with a plea, “Please don’t forget me.”

You stared into his eyes, the depth of your feelings for him clear and unwavering. “Spencer Reid,” you said softly but firmly, “I will never forget you.”

With that, you kissed him one last time, the bittersweet farewell lingering in the air as you both held onto each other for as long as you could.

—

Despite all the promises and the heartfelt goodbyes, life had other plans. The demands of your master’s program and the grueling work on Broadway consumed your time and energy. Spencer, too, became increasingly busy with his responsibilities at the BAU and his guest lectures, often being called away for cases more frequently than before. The distance, both physical and emotional, began to take its toll.

Calls that used to bring comfort and connection started going to voicemail. Texts that once sparked joy and laughter were left unanswered. Emails that used to be filled with affection and updates were opened but never replied to. The busy lives you both led pulled you further apart, until one day, you realized that you hadn’t spoken to him in weeks, then months.

The connection that had once been so strong faded away, not with a dramatic end but with a quiet, painful drift. Despite the love you had for each other, you and Spencer never saw each other again. The summer you shared remained a beautiful, bittersweet memory, a chapter that closed far too soon.

—

Present

The present day found Rossi deep in the midst of orchestrating the final details for JJ and Will’s last-minute wedding. After wrapping up their latest case, he hadn’t expected to be planning a wedding, but he was more than happy to take on the challenge. With everything falling into place—JJ’s mom attending, the guests taken care of, food arranged, his beautiful backyard as the location, and even the rings sorted—the only thing left was the music. Rossi could have easily hired a band, a DJ, or even a string quartet, but he had someone specific in mind.

His thoughts drifted to a young woman he had met years ago, back when she was just starting out on Broadway as a background singer. Rossi had discovered her in a small, back-alley theater during an off-Broadway performance of Rent where she played Mimi. Her performance had been nothing short of phenomenal, and Rossi had made sure to keep in touch with her over the years. She was someone who had made an impression on him, and he liked to check in on those who left a mark.

Pulling out his phone, Rossi quickly typed out a message, hoping she was available. 

Am I the luckiest man alive or can you not be in Virginia tomorrow evening for a wedding?

It didn’t take long for a response to come through. 

A wedding? This is a strange proposal, but I can be there. Send me details!

Rossi smiled, relieved and excited. With her on board, he knew the night would be something truly special.

—

The air was filled with warmth and joy as JJ and Will’s wedding ceremony unfolded, a picture-perfect blend of love and simplicity. A band played soft, unobtrusive music in the background, setting the tone for the intimate occasion. As the ceremony transitioned to the reception, the band continued to provide a gentle soundtrack, allowing everyone to bask in the glow of the newlyweds’ happiness.

But as the moment for the first dance approached, Rossi knew it was time to unveil his final surprise. He made his way to the small makeshift stage, where a microphone stood unused, and with a confident smile, he took hold of it. “Alright everyone, may I have your attention, please?” His voice carried over the crowd, drawing all eyes to him.

The guests turned their attention to Rossi, their expressions warm and expectant. JJ and Will stood together, their hands intertwined, basking in the moment.

“JJ, Will,” Rossi began, his tone heartfelt, “I am so happy for you both. Thank you for allowing us to witness your union, and may you lead a beautiful life together.”

The group erupted into cheers, the love and support for the couple evident in every smiling face.

Rossi’s eyes twinkled with mischief as he continued, “Now, I do have one last surprise for you…”

JJ, ever the skeptic, raised a brow, her signature look of sass making a brief appearance as she wondered what Rossi had up his sleeve.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Rossi announced, his voice brimming with excitement, “all the way from Broadway, please welcome, Y/N L/N…”

The crowd turned with curiosity as you stepped onto the stage, ready to add your own special touch to this unforgettable night.

As you stepped onto the stage, the evening air filled with a gentle buzz of excitement and warmth. “Hello, all! Thank you so much, David,” you began, your voice clear and bright. “I am deeply grateful to be here performing for such a special evening. Thank you for letting me share in the festivities.”

JJ and Will raised their glasses to you, smiles of appreciation on their faces, and the crowd erupted into cheers. But one person did not share in the cheers, silently staring from the back of the group, his expression frozen in shock—Spencer. He never forgot a face, and yours was etched into his memory, even if time had added a few years since your last encounter.

“I was informed this first song is to be the first dance,” you continued, your eyes scanning the crowd, oblivious to the familiar face among them. “So please make room for the lovely couple!” With a graceful flourish, you began your performance, your voice effortlessly filling the space with a soft, ethereal melody that perfectly suited the evening’s romantic atmosphere.

Spencer could hardly believe what he was seeing. You were here. You were real, and you were performing at this very wedding. For someone who lived his life by facts, figures, and logical conclusions, this moment felt almost like destiny. You had come back into his life in the most unexpected way, and it left him reeling.

You hadn’t noticed him yet, as he was hiding out towards the back, not wanting to draw attention to himself. But as the evening wore on, he found himself pulled to the dance floor by Penelope Garcia, her bright smile and colorful attire impossible to resist. It was only then, as you sang and your eyes swept across the guests, that you saw him. Your breath caught in your throat, but you kept singing, the professionalism in you pushing through even as your wide eyes tracked his every move.

He was dancing with a woman—tall, beautiful, blonde, and dressed in an outfit that could only be described as whimsical. They moved together easily, and you felt a pang of something you hadn’t expected to feel after all these years—jealousy. It wasn’t that you had any claim on him; so much time had passed, and life had moved on for both of you. But seeing him again, so unexpectedly, brought a rush of old emotions, and suddenly, it felt as though no time had passed at all.

You could feel your pulse quicken as the last notes of your performance faded into the night. The applause was warm and appreciative, but all you could think about was getting off that stage and finding Spencer. The need to talk to him, to see him up close after all these years, was almost overwhelming.

“That concludes my contribution to the gorgeous evening David planned. Thank you all again for allowing me to sing for you,” you said, giving the crowd a gracious smile as you left the stage. As you descended, Rossi was there to escort you, his arm linked with yours as he guided you toward the refreshments. You wasted no time in grabbing a glass of champagne, hoping the bubbles might help settle your nerves.

“That was phenomenal, Y/N. You never disappoint. Thank you so much for coming on such short notice,” Rossi said, his voice full of genuine gratitude.

“It was my pleasure, David. Thank you for always thinking of me,” you replied, trying to keep your voice steady despite the tumult of emotions swirling inside you.

Before Rossi could say more, a voice you knew all too well sounded from behind you. “Y/N?”

You turned, and there he was—Spencer Reid, standing just a few feet away, looking even more handsome than you remembered. Your heart skipped a beat, your breath catching in your throat as all the emotions you’d been trying to keep at bay came rushing back with full force.

“Hi, Spence,” you managed to say, your voice soft but warm, betraying the flood of feelings coursing through you.

Rossi, ever perceptive, noticed the unspoken tension and slowly began to excuse himself, moving away with the intention of questioning you both later.

Spencer seemed flustered, his mind racing as he tried to process everything. “Wh—what are you doing here? I mean, I know what you’re doing here, but how do you know Rossi?”

You swallowed, trying to keep your emotions in check. “He, uh, he came to one of my shows when I first started performing,” you explained, though your voice was a little choked up, the weight of the moment pressing down on you.

Spencer’s eyes widened with surprise. “You perform? Where?”

“Broadway…” you said, a small, almost self-conscious laugh escaping your lips as you watched his reaction.

Spencer’s eyes softened, a mix of pride and awe flickering across his face. “Wow,” he breathed, clearly impressed. “I didn’t know he really meant–that’s… amazing, Y/N.”

For a moment, neither of you knew what to say, the years that had passed between you suddenly feeling both like a lifetime and like no time at all.

Spencer’s voice was soft, almost reverent as he asked, “Do you… want to dance?”

You nodded, your heart swelling with a mix of nostalgia and hope. “I’d love to.” You let him take your hand and lead you to the dance floor, feeling a lump form in your throat as you realized just how much you had missed him. As his back turned to you, you quickly dabbed at your eyes, hoping he wouldn’t notice the tears threatening to spill over.

The team, scattered around the reception, couldn’t help but glance over at the two of you, curiosity piqued. They exchanged looks, silently wondering how their usually women-avoidant genius had managed to snag the singer for a dance.

With Spencer’s hands resting gently on your hips and your arms draped over his shoulders, you felt both light as a feather and heavy as a ton of bricks, the weight of unspoken words hanging in the air between you. His touch was gentle, reassuring, but there was an underlying tension—years of separation and longing bubbling just beneath the surface.

“I can’t believe I’m seeing you right now,” you whispered, your voice trembling slightly. “Are you sure you’re real?”

Spencer, always quick with a quip, responded with a small smile. “Do you often see people that aren’t real?”

You shook your head, a soft laugh escaping despite the lump in your throat. “No… I just can’t get my mind around it.”

“Me neither,” he admitted, his thumbs rubbing small, soothing circles on your waist.

You looked up at him, your eyes tracing the familiar features of his face, now slightly more mature but just as handsome. “You look so handsome, Spence. You’ve aged like fine wine.”

His blush was immediate, endearing in its sincerity. “Thank you,” he mumbled, clearly flustered. “You look gorgeous. You haven’t aged a bit.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “I’m not a profiler, but even I know that’s a lie. Look at these bags!” You pointed to the faint circles under your eyes, a result of late nights and hard work.

Spencer’s gaze softened, and he smiled tenderly. “You’re perfect, maybe I’m just blind to your flaws.”

“Wow, Agent,” you mused, a teasing note in your voice. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re flirting with me.”

“Is that okay?” he asked, a hint of vulnerability in his tone. “Figured I could make up for lost time.”

Your heart skipped a beat, and you tried to steady your breathing. “Spencer…”

He noticed the shift in your expression, his brow furrowing slightly in concern. “I remember that face. What’s wrong? Do you have a partner?”

“No,” you assured him quickly, shaking your head. “Should we keep it friendly? Not much has changed…”

“A lot has changed,” Spencer countered, a small smile playing on his lips.

“Like what?” you asked, genuinely curious.

“Like… I happen to know that if you work on Broadway, you get downtime between shows. You’re here right now, aren’t you?”

“That’s true… but I still have to rehearse, practice, and prepare. And I have an audition next week.”

Spencer’s smile widened, his eyes filled with admiration. “And you will do amazing at that audition. Do you want to get dinner after?”

“In New York?” you asked, a bit taken aback by his boldness.

“Mhm,” he hummed, his forehead pressing gently against yours. “I’ll take the train, meet you after you blow the casting directors away.”

You rolled your eyes playfully, though your heart was pounding. “You’re insane. What if we don’t get along anymore?”

“That would be really unfortunate, and I’d just take the train back,” he snorted, the sound making you laugh despite yourself.

“What if you find out that you only liked me because you didn’t really know me?” you asked, the question heavier than you intended.

“I loved you, think I still do,” Spencer corrected, his voice soft but firm, taking your breath away.

“Right,” you murmured, the gravity of his words settling over you. “So… you just want to date me? After six years?”

“Yes,” he said without hesitation, his eyes never leaving yours.

“Even though it’s going to be hard?”

“Absolutely.”

“And we’ll have to do long distance more often than not?”

“Mhm,” he nodded, his resolve unwavering.  

“And—” you began, but your words were cut off as Spencer leaned in, capturing your lips in a kiss that was both tender and intense, filled with all the emotion and love that had been building up between you for years.

—

“Hey, babe, how was the train?” you asked as Spencer walked up to you, his familiar, comforting presence immediately easing some of your post-audition nerves.

Spencer laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. “You just auditioned for Hairspray and you’re asking me how my train ride was??” His tone was incredulous, but there was a playful glint in his eyes.

You shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. “I’m anxious and don’t want to think about it, so tell me about your train ride… or kiss me.”

Spencer’s smile softened as he leaned in closer. “I’ll do both,” he said, his voice tender as he bent down to kiss you. But in his eagerness, he completely forgot about the coffee cup in his hand. As he leaned in, the warm drink spilled, splashing down the front of your shirt.

“Spencer!” you exclaimed, jumping back as the coffee soaked through the fabric, surprise and exasperation coloring your voice.

Spencer’s eyes widened in horror, his face turning a deep shade of red. “Oh no, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean—let me—” He fumbled, his usual calm demeanor thrown off by the sudden mishap.

Despite the mess, you couldn’t help but laugh, the tension from the audition melting away. “It’s okay, Spence,” you said, shaking your head as you tried to blot the coffee stain. “I guess some things never change.” 

Spencer, still flustered but smiling, handed you a handkerchief, grateful that you were taking it in stride. “I’ll make it up to you,” he promised, and you knew he meant it.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

tag list <333 @dirtytissuebox @yokaimoon @khxna @noelliece @dreamsarebig @sleepey-looney @cocobean16 @placidus @criminalmindssworld @lilu842 @greatoperawombategg @charismatic-writer @fxoxo @hearts4spensco @furrybouquettrash @kathrynlakestone @chaneladdicted @time-himself @mentallyunwellsposts @sapph1re @idefktbh17 @gilwm @reggieswriter @loumouse @spencerreidsreads @i-live-in-spite 

[nickfurysrighteye]

Practise?

chase davenport x reader

summary: the school's gonna do a play and it's gonna be Romeo and Juliet. Chase was supposed to help with the behind the scenes but instead he gets to play Romeo, and you, Juliet, offer him some help with his lines..

cw: sfw, kissing, that's it i think

a/n: this is my first time writing for this fandom and also my first time making my writing public so please be kind :') ...i haven't written any type of fanfic in a veeeery long time. this is just for fun!!!

"Seriously?! I can't believe it!"

Janelle yells storming into the gym. Everybody stops what they're doing to look at her puzzled. This year Mission Creek High decided to organize a play and upon a great request it was decided to stage 'Romeo and Juliet'. Janelle volunteered to direct the entire planning of it.

"Our Romeo decided it was a great time to break his arm, therefore we don't have a Romeo anymore!" she says walking towards Leo, who's busy painting the fake wooden balcony. Leo decided to take part in the production only to have an excuse to be with Janelle, and doing so he dragged Chase along, just to have some company.

A few people gather around to see what was going on, you take your eyes off the script you were revising to look at your classmates on the opposite site of the room.

"So? What's the big deal?" says Leo "The understudy can take his place."

"The big deal is we don't have an understudy! We barely have enough people working on this play, do you really think we have extras?" Janelle is furious.

"Why don't we pick somebody from the crew?" you barge into the conversation, feeling the eyes of everyone onto you "I mean, it's not like we have time to redo auditions.."

Everybody is silent, eyes going left and right scanning the room for someone brave enough to take on one of the leading roles. You look behind Leo's shoulder "I bet Chase could do it."

Chase was surprised and slightly confused by your statement "Me? But I'm not an actor." he says, struggling to speak loud enough to be heard.

"Neither am I, and neither is everyone else..this is a high school play not Broadway, no of us are actors." you shrug while looking over to the brown haired boy.

Janelle looks over to him "Chase, do you think you could do it? You'd be a life saver, honestly." you could hear the tension in her voice from all the stress the planning brought her.

"I-i mean, sure I could give it a try" Chase tried so hard to sound confident in his choice but you could hear the slight tremor in his tone.

"Perfect, problem solved!" Janelle said.

Once everyone got back to work you get closer to Chase, "If you want we can practise the lines together, I could also give you some tips."

"Sure, I'd love that." Chase says with a sweet, soft smile. "Cool, you can stop by at my house today if that's ok." you smile back

"Yeah, sure, I'll see you later."

-

After school, the two brothers head to the lab and Chase is panicking, regretting the choice he made earlier that day. "Why would I agree to do something like this?! Why didn't you stop me Leo?! This is going to be a disaster! The play's gonna suck!" he spits out the words so quickly he can barely keep up with his thoughts.

"Chase chill out! You'll be fine, like Y/n said no one here's an actor, you're all gonna suck" Leo's already tired of his complaining.

Chase's worry isn't only his acting, but the fact he's gonna be the lead in a romantic play with you as his love interest. He's also terrified by the idea of having to kiss you multiple times on stage, in front of a ton of people. This is stressing him out way more than anticipated.

He already knew who you were long before taking part in this project. He saw you walk around the halls, he saw you sitting a couple of desks in front of him in some classes you have together. He always thought about you as the pretty girl he would only talk to in his imagination. Nobody could have predicted the two of you acting as lovers in a school play. Certainly not Chase.

-

With his heart beating out of his chest, Chase knocks on your front door. You open the door and invite him in. "We can go upstairs in my room" you say, guiding him upstairs.

You go through the script together, focusing on the more difficult parts to memorize. You're suprised Chase could memorize all these lines so quickly, and he's getting better at getting into character.

He says every line with the right feeling, you two work in harmony, it's like you're no longer acting as the characters but are living the story as yourselves.

"You're quite talented you know that Chase?" you smile

"Thanks, I'm actually a bit nervous if I'm being honest." he chuckes while lowering his eyes, looking at his fingers fidgeting with the corner of the script's page.

"How come? You're doing great." you tilt you're head slightly. You sit on your bed, taking a small break.

He shrugs, sitting down beside you "I don't know, I just am" he mumbles.

You stare at him with a soft gaze, you study his expression, you're lightly mesmerized by the way the light beam from the setting sun is hitting his face, shining through your window. His eyes now being a warmer hazel tone.

He can hear the beat of his heart in his ears "Actually, I'm scared 'cause --" he stops "I'm worried about our kiss."

"Our kiss?"

"Yeah, it scares me a little having to kiss in front of an audience."

"It's gonna be a quick kiss don't worry about it."

"I know, it's just that --" he looks down again "I've never done it before."

"You've never kissed anyone?" you say, the slight surprise in your voice makes him feel even worse now.

"It's fine Chase, I get it. There's no need to be ashamed of it." you try to reassure him. "Wanna practise?"

"The kiss?" he looks at you.

"Yeah, I mean, we probably should anyway since it's part of the play." you say, standing up and placing yourself in front of him like you would be on stage.

"Yeah, ok, that's..a good idea" he stands up as well. Chase tries to hide his uncertainty.

"You sure about this?" you ask, you don't want to pressure him.

"A hundred percent" he's anxious, he's rubbing subtly his hands on his jeans because they're starting to sweat, his knees get weaker and he hopes they'll be strong enough to support him.

"Ok now, just follow my lead." you take his hand, leaning nearer. Your other hand cupping his cheek, your lips are now inches apart. Your touch feels warm on his skin, making him breathe faster.

"Close your eyes." as he does so, your place your lips onto his gently, and start to slowly and softly kiss him.

A warm feeling of joy starts to bubble up in his chest as he copies your movements and picks up the pace. The kiss gets more intense, more impatient as he tastes your lips. You get closer and your hand that was on his cheek is now on the back of his neck, tangling your fingers with his hair. His hands start to move, although he's still unsure of what to do.

You stop for a brief moment. "It's ok if you wanna touch me, y'know." Chase laughs a little, he then places his hands on your sides, sliding them down to your waste. He grabs a little harder and pull you into another kiss, this time greedier, messier.

He didn't think it would feel this good kissing you, his heart is racing so fast you could probably hear it. Your lips are exploring eachother, you're both enjoying this much more than you should be. After a few moments Chase decides to wet your bottom lip with the tip of his tongue, you part your lips a bit and he slips part of his tongue in. The feeling of your tongues tasting eachother sends shivers down your spine, you feel your cheeks getting warmer.

"You taste amazing" he blurs out the moment he stops to catch his breath, then he pulls you again into another kiss. His words make you melt.

Chase has lost track of time. Actually he has lost track of anything, he can only feel you. Your lips, your tongue, your taste, the sweet smell of your perfume and the warmth of your body standing so close to his. A few moments pass and you pull away to catch your breath, your faces still close to eachother.

"Was i good?" his question makes you chuckle.

"Yeah, you were. You know the kiss isn't supposed to last this long though, right?"

"Sorry i got a bit carried away." Chase laughs a little. You smile softly, caressing his cheek with your thumb.

"I don't think you're gonna have problems on stage, Chase"

"Although we should probably get back to revising the lines"

"We should, but after we're done we should go back to the kissing part, just to be sure"

[dumbslxtclub]

I seriously love your writing. Can i request eddie kissing reader just outta nowhere ( hes really fucken smitten with her) and readers just fucken shocked and stunned and doesnt really kiss back because eddies with chrissy and reader is chrissys best friend. Eddie seriously forgot he was with chrissy and realises he fucked up.

let me put my lips to something | e.m

eddie munson x fem!reader

content warnings: fem!reader, adult language, adult themes, angst, hurt/comfort, some canon divergence/au, reader is 19, anxiety, ANGSTY angst, fluff, no use of y/n, weed consumption, cheating (eddie kisses reader while with chrissy), cliffhanger (kinda) ending but it's definitely not happy

word count: 2.7K+

a/n: my first request eeeeee!!! thank you anon for this one, such a delish challenge to write and I loved every angsty second of it xxx

part one / part two

The slightly skunky haze of smoke from the crackling joint perched between your fingertips intermingles with the balmy Spring air, filling your lungs with the promise of warmer days to come. The first mild night the town of Hawkins has been granted, a desperately needed reprieve from dark nights arriving prematurely and wind-chill cold enough to ice your bones. 

A blanket is rolled out on the dewy grass behind Eddie’s van, the pair of you laying heavy on the polyester fabric as you succumb to intoxication, music lightly thrumming from the car’s stereo. Your secret lookout point, discovered years prior, overlooking the sleepy town twinkling sporadically as its inhabitants close the book on another day. The first daisies of the season spring up through the unkempt grass before you, dipping down into a steep slope of neglected land. Your own personal haven, shared with your best friend, the place you go when Eddie mutters through the corded phone “meet me at our spot”.

Eddie and you first grew close in sophomore year, sharing a mutual love for all things fantasy, having shared a slightly tense stand-off in the library over its tattered copy of The Hobbit. Eddie did not expect you to yield so easily, used to having to stand his ground when faced with any confrontation. But, with a warm smile, you suggested you didn’t need to re-read it just yet, passing it to his uncertain hands. With a simple gesture, you plucked the first of many bricks from his hard exterior, offering him kindness to which he wasn’t accustomed. He couldn’t believe that you, a beautiful girl, could see him as human, more than the reputation that preceded him. And thus, your friendship blossomed.

An unlikely duo, but you collected a rather eclectic group of friends. Cheerleaders, science nerds, outcasts, it didn’t matter to you. You sought out the best in people, looking beyond their stereotyped roles in the small-minded society, wanting to surround yourself with people who made you smile. Eddie loved that about you.

Matter of fact, he loved everything about you. He loved how your bedroom was unabashedly you, eclectic in every sense of the word. Posters of heavy metal bands lived in harmony with Broadway Playbills, crisp tennis shoes and graffitied sneakers sitting at the foot of your bed. It’s like you collected pieces of the people you loved, keepsakes of your time together and shared interests to show off to the world. 

He loved how unafraid you were to announce your friendship, calling his name out with a cheerful wave through the crowded hallways on the dreariest of mornings. It gave Eddie something to look forward to on his lowest days, where getting out of bed was a drag. The assurance of seeing your beaming smile enough to get him through the doorways of the school he loathed.

And he loved how you took an interest in him. Patiently listening as he explained the rules of DnD, inviting you to campaign nights to which you happily celebrated the group's victories without an inkling as to what was actually going on. Getting dragged to obscure concerts out of town, driven by the promise of getting to spend time with one of your best friends. How you got along with Wayne like a house on fire, helping him prepare all sorts of meals with plenty of leftovers to spare that he could take to his long overnight shifts.

Eddie had a lot of love to give. Which makes the complete misplacement of his feelings all the more tragic. 

They say sandbox love never dies, which is the case for you and Chrissy. The closest of friends since elementary school, her contagious positivity rubbed off on you in the best of ways. She supported you no matter what, and you did the same for her. And so, when she asked if you thought she should invite Eddie to the Homecoming dance last year, you ignored the pitfall in your stomach, shoving the harbinger of jealousy down and encouraging her to do so. You anticipated that it would be a one-off, the two having never spent much time together beyond exchanging pleasantries. But, as it turns out, they meshed together perfectly, like slotting pieces together from two separate puzzles.

In one fell swoop, you lost craved time with the two of your best friends as they elected to spend more time together, a relationship quickly blooming between them. If you and Eddie were an unlikely duo, Chrissy and Eddie were like chalk and cheese. 

And yet, somehow, it worked. 

From your perspective, anyway. 

Like all relationships, you’d hear about how they naturally clashed. Eddie had no interest in going to Chrissy’s basketball games, casting you in the role of mediator as you dragged him to watch his girlfriend perform. And you patiently coached Chrissy through the little knowledge you’d accumulated through the Dungeon Master, whispering in her ear while the two of you spectated another campaign. But at the end of the day, they both seemed happy enough. And that’s what mattered most to you, regardless of your mounting feelings for your metalhead friend. The sinew of your cheek felt the brunt of your anguish as you clenched tender flesh between your teeth while you’d watch Eddie whisper sweet nothings into Chrissy’s ear across the room. The edges of your nails finding solace digging into your soft palms as he slung his arm around hers at the cafeteria table, watching as she occupied the chair once reserved for you. Relishing in the delicious burn on your waterline as you squeezed your eyes shut, noticing Chrissy beelining towards you in the school hallway wearing one of Eddie’s bracelets. An unwilling masochist at the hands of your best friends, contorting your mouth into a smile to hide the civil unrest simmering beneath your skin.

Tonight, you’d been whisked away from pressing History homework at Eddie’s request, receiving a phone call from him that he just needed to clear his head for a bit. Deducing that something must have happened between him and Chrissy, you asked him to pick you up along the way. The drive was quiet, Eddie plastering a fake plastic smile you were acutely accustomed to donning yourself, electing to once again prioritize your friend’s needs above your own.

And now, just like old times, the pair of you lay parallel to each other, gazing up at the clear night’s sky. It’s been clear that Eddie is not in the mood to talk about what happened, so you steer clear of the subject. Instead, you exist in comfortable silence, passing the burning joint between you while your limbs cement themselves to the ground. Limitless sky existing in front of your hazy vision, the question slipped out from the deepest recesses of your slightly-stoned mind.

“Do you ever think about the universe?” As you pass Eddie the butt of the joint, you tilt your head towards him. He chuckles at your obscure question, placing the rolled paper between his plump lips.

“Oh god, you’re not about to dump today’s Physics class on me, are you?”

“Shut up, that’s not what I mean.”

His eyes flutter closed as he exhales a plume of smoke skyward, stubbing out the remaining embers onto an ashtray beside him.

“I mean, yeah, sometimes. Tried to count all the stars in the sky once, but fell asleep before I finished the job.”

A grin takes over your face, shaking your head. 

“I didn’t know you knew how to count, good for you.”

Eddie hisses, his hand flying to his heart to cover the metaphorical wound.

“Ouch, that was cruel, princess.” You’d never admit how the nickname made your heart flutter, breath slightly hitching at his words. “But tell me, Professor. What are your thoughts on the universe?”

Blurry eyes gaze up at the stars, twinking in the black sheet of night vast along the landscape. 

“It’s just weird to think about, like, how insignificant we are.”

“Bit pessimistic, are we?” Eddie quips.

“It’s not pessimistic! It’s freeing.”

“How so?”

Each breath feels labored, grounding yourself as you find the right words.

“I mean, there are billions of universes just like ours out there. And we’ll never know about them. In the grand scheme of things, we are just a blip on the timeline, you know? A hundred years from now, no one will remember our names. And we think everything is so important. Like, I saw Amy Dixon crying in the library the other day because she didn’t get a good grade on the Math final. Or I went to the grocery store last weekend and some cashier was getting screamed at because he overcharged a lady by two cents. Like, who fucking cares?”

“Right, so what’s your point?” Eddie’s tone is entirely curious, he loves digging into your mind, hearing your perspective on anything and everything.

“My point is, nothing matters. We literally don’t matter. We’re here, and then one day, we’re not. And I don’t mean that in a cynical way, I think it’s so freeing, you know? We can do whatever we want. Like, I don’t care what anyone thinks of me, or how they try to squeeze me into whatever box they think I should fit into. Because at the end of my life, when I’m all old and gray and sitting alone in my bed, I want to be able to look back and go ‘Hey, I don’t regret a minute of that’. Like, there was nothing I wish I’d done but was too scared to. I just want to be proud of how I lived my life, you know?”

Your rambling ceases, silence filling the air between the pair of you. Eddie doesn’t reply, but you do feel him shuffling against the blanket. 

“Sorry, that was probably boring and a bit weird-”

Two fingers softly pinch your chin, edging your face in the direction of your friend. Lolling your head to the side, you struggle to decipher Eddie’s expression in the dusky night. You can make out his two big brown eyes boring into you, minutely darting around your face, drinking in your features. He shuffles closer to you, hand still planted on the crook of your jawline. Time feels like it’s moving in slow motion. Every action languid, moving slowly, then all at once. Warm lips crash down on yours, sending shockwaves through your system. Melting at his touch, you relish the sensation of his soft lips intermingling with yours in the most sensual of embraces. The intensity of the moment caused you to cling onto him as the only stable thing in a dizzy world. A potent cocktail of chemicals flood your brain, far more intoxicating than any drug, leaving you aching for more. But you know you can’t. Or rather, you shouldn’t.

Pulling away, eyes wide as you study your best friend, who pinches his eyes together from the sudden loss of contact. 

“Eddie, why-” You begin, unable to string a coherent sentence together with the amount of blood erratically pumping through your veins.

“‘M sorry. I had to do that, just once.”

Tears prickle the corners of your dry eyes, burning your waterline as you fight them back as shock behind to set in. Eddie, on the other hand, looks like the weight of the world has just been lifted from his shoulders.

“What- what about Chrissy?”

“Who?” Surely he’s not serious.

“Chrissy? Your girlfriend...”

Eddie winces at the mention of her name, shrinking into himself.

“Fuck. I- uh…”

“What?”

“I sort of, like- forgot about her for a moment.”

You’re incredulous, failing to comprehend how someone forgets about their whole significant other.

“What do you mean you forgot?”

“It’s just- fuck.” Eddie runs his hands along his weary face, waging a mental war with himself. “It’s like, sometimes, when I’m around you, everything else drops away. Like we’re the only two people in the world.”

Biting the inside of your cheek, you push down the boiling pot of emotions bubbling in your stomach.

“You don’t mean that-”

“I do. I don’t know how, but you drown out all the noise. All the bullshit, the ideas people have of me, it- it all disappears around you-”

“Eddie, please stop-”

“-And I wish I had of told you that sooner, but then Chrissy happened- and I worry that, I don’t know, I’m in too deep now-”

“Listen, you’re just high, okay? We can forget about this-” Suddenly feeling entirely sobered by this exchange, you find the strength to prop yourself up on the blanket, wrapping your arms around yourself in order to self-soothe.

“-I’m not high. I’ll wake up and feel the same way tomorrow. Chrissy is fine but she’s- fuck, she’s not you. We’ll go to the cinema and see some stupid romantic comedy, and all I want is to look over and see you.” 

“Stop it.”

“Or I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and roll over and wish it was you asleep next to me.”

Bile builds in your throat at the mere thought of them occupying the same bed.

“Eddie, please-”

“And shit, I never should have said yes to her. I always knew I’d break her heart, it’s so fucked up.” Eddie’s word vomit continually spills out, you’ve never seen him so unfiltered. And it’s starting to scare you that he may be telling the truth. Finding the strength in your unsteady legs, your feet meet the ground beneath you, trying to put further distance between you and Eddie. Your heart aches like nothing you’ve ever experienced before, like you’re somehow suffocating from the inside. “I’m just- fuck, I’m sorry.”

A dense silence occupies the space between you, neither of you sure where to go from here.

“I’m not the one you should apologize to, Eddie.” Oh my god, how are you going to begin to explain this to Chrissy? The thought of losing her, the one stable constant throughout your life, prematurely breaks your heart. Your palm clasps over your mouth, shaking your head like trying to erase an Etch-A-Sketch, remove the image of Chrissy’s wide eyes as you relay what’s just transpired. The dam breaks, and the first of many tears spills down your flushed cheeks. How you wish things were simpler, wrapped up in a neat package like the happy endings you see in films. 

“Shit, I really fucked up, didn’t I?” Eddie’s voice quivers beyond your glossy vision, tugging at your heartstrings. Unable to speak, you give a half-hearted nod in response. Eddie clears his throat. “Guess you’re right. We should just forget this happened, okay? Just go back to the way things were, if that’s what you want.”

A fate worse than death, existing the way you have been for months on end. But what other choice was there?

“Yeah.”

With a sigh, Eddie methodically folds up the blanket, throwing it into the back of the van.

“Let’s get you home, it’s getting late.” The drive home is silent, but the words left unsaid between the pair of you are deafening. You should feel grateful to see the familiar paneling of your house, the front left on welcoming you home. But, as always, it signals the end of your time with Eddie, heart aching from the admissions dancing on the tip of your tongue. The car gears click into park, and your unsteady hand finds the door handle.

“See you tomorrow.” Three unimportant words now charged with tension, the mere thought of seeing the pair at school tomorrow causing your stomach to flip.

“Yeah.” Eddie’s response is mumbled, taking a particular interest in the worn leather of the steering wheel. Chewing your lip, you click the door open, about to maneuver out when Eddie’s words immobilize you. 

“Hey?” For the first time in the eternal drive, Eddie works up the courage to look at you directly, doe-eyes meeting yours for a fleeting moment. 

“Mmm?”

With a sharp inhale of breath, Eddie struggles to maintain his gaze, brows furrowing as he nervously fiddles with his rings.

“I’ve fucked up a lot of things in my life, but I’ve been thinking about what you said. And, at the end of my shitty life, I’m gonna look back and not regret kissing you. Not for a minute.”

Those words are your springboard out of the vehicle, closing the door behind you with your little remaining composure, hastening up the driveway and through the front door. Locking it behind you, you feel your chest tighten and ache with longing and regret. 

You hope things will return back to how they were. But, in the back of your mind, a small, selfish voice prays that they don’t.

[quibbs126]

For the fankid requests, I have multiple but you can just pick one, the requests are Dark Choco x Pink Choco, String Gummy x Choco Ball, Dino-Sour x Lemon, Croissant x Sandwich and Madeleine x Mont Blanc.

I have finished all five. Yes I didn’t need to do all five, but I wanted to

I feel like you can tell I made all these at different times, especially with Choco String and arguably Lemon Drop

Alright, let’s see what I can remember about all them

So Semisweet here hears stuff from space, at least that’s what he claims. His antenna is a space radio, but he could hear it before that

Choco String…honestly I don’t remember what her deal was. But she has little balls made of chocolate string that she uses both to play with and as a weapon

Lemon Drop is a chill skater girl. She probably had more but I don’t remember what

Pretzel Bread is a delivery person. They don’t work for the TBD or anything, they just deliver the mail diligently and like sandwiches of pretzel bread

Marron Madeleine I think is in musical theater, but she also currently works as an actor. She’s like one of those actors that came from Broadway

Yeah that’s not much compared to what I usually write, but there’s five of them, I don’t remember a lot about most of them, and I’m trying to not make a monster of a post here. And also for said reasons, I’m going to skip my thoughts on the design development process. I will still say where the names came from though

So Semisweet Choco is based off of semisweet chocolate chips, because it’s dark chocolate but still has some sweetness, which I feel fits with Pink Choco’s deal

Semisweet chocolate chips:

So chocolate strings don’t really exist, I think I just made up the name because I liked the visual idea of it. But I mean the name comes from Choco Ball’s chocolate and String Gummy’s strings, if that wasn’t obvious

Lemon Drop is named after those sour lemon candies, since it’s lemon and it’s a sour candy, which I assume Dino Sour is

Lemon drop candies:

Pretzel Bread gets their name because it’s a bread thing like what I keep thinking croissants are, and because I’m pretty sure it’s a sandwich bread

Pretzel bread:

Marron Madeleine gets her name from chestnut madeleines, but I made it “marron” because that’s the French word for chestnut and I feel like that fits in more with Mont Blanc. And also she’s made of chestnuts because that’s what mont blanc is made of

Chestnut madeleines:

I realize I didn’t talk much about the actual characters and my thoughts on them, but I do really like them, and while Choco String and Lemon Drop are older, I am quite proud of how the other three turned out, and the first two aren’t half bad either

But yeah, I hope you like them all!

[milolovesbmc]

wait wrol jeremy is canonically/intentionally autistic coded??? please elaborate what are his little autistic mannerisms tell me everything

OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST FREAKING ASK I'VE EVER GOTTEN!!! HOLD INTO YOUR SOCKS CAUSE I'M ABOUT TO RAMBLE!!!!!!

So, First off, Jeremy (in the Broadway/Off-Broadway productions) IS autistic coded!! since Will Roland based his interpretation/acting for Jeremy on teenagers from a theater camp he attended, who where most (not to say all) autistic. Also, I can't possibly talk about Jeremy being autistic without mentioning this, in the first/original version of Be More Chill Pt.1 one of the SQUIP's line to Jeremy is literally "every lame characteristic, makes you come off as autistic" which they cut (for obvious reasons) but there, had to be mentioned!! So in conclusion, yes he IS autistic coded!! With that outta the way:

WHY WILL ROLAND'S JEREMY IS AUTISTIC CODED!

EYE CONTACT

- This one is the one I have the least to talk about, it's mentioned he has issues with eye contact in More Than Survive, "[...] Avoiding any eye contact at all"

ABNORMAL SPEECH

- OKAY SO HEAR ME OUT ON THIS

- One of the biggest differences between Roland and Connolly Jeremy is how Will R Jeremy talks

- He has issues with Volume control, like how sometimes he's talking and he out of nowhere yells out a word or something and he seems to not notice? Also, he's the only character that talks louder than the rest normally (you have to differ this from stuff like how Michael screams the lines he says in More Than Survive while he's dancing, that's intentional, he's being goofy and having fun)

- Sometimes he talks too fast, like to the point he slurs his words, you can notice a couple or more of these throughout the show

- To finish off the speech thing, he talks in a really flat tone, you can tell not only by comparing his tone to other characters (like Jake for example) or if you compare the voice Will Roland does for Jeremy to the one he does for Jared in DEH, Jeremy's it's flatter

-I'm not too sure this is included in "Abnormal speech" for autism, but I felt like I had to mention that he does stutter/stammer (?) A lot throughout the whole show, it's even mention by the SQUIP in Be More Chill PT. 1 ("All your stammering's a chore" "Stammer?! No- no I don't stammer!")

- it's also suggested he speaks in a "weird" way when in Loser Geek Whatever he says "The please don't speak!" When referring to how he's perceived by his peers

SPECIAL INTEREST

- His special interest is clearly Superheroes and stuff of the sort (mainly from comics I'm pretty sure, but I don't know too much about superheroes) and he references them a lot of times and sees like most of his life and actions through more of a superhero/fiction sense

- The biggest example of him doing this is in More Than Survive (I'm gonna be mentioning MTS a lot here) when he says the line "If this was an apocalypse, I would not need any tips, on how to stay alive!"

- Also, I can even go into that one line even deeper, by this line he basically means that for him it'd be easier to survive in a zombie apocalypse rather than a high school, because an apocalypse has simple rules you need to follow to survive; getting food, not being biten by zombies... While to "survive" high school you need to do a whole bunch of stuff no one tells you you need to do; socialising, not having grades too high or too low, being cool, talking to people, making eye contact... Which are harder to him. This also means that he would know how to survive in a zombie apocalypse because of how much he plays Apocalypse of the Damned (most definitely part of his special interest)

- Also, here's some references/ties he makes between real life and fiction/superhero stuff:

"I like your sideburns, wolverine, right?"

"Like in X-Men?!"

- Not to mention one of his options for the SQUIP's settings was literally Batman

SOCIAL SKILLS

- I don't think I can give very specific examples here, but basically, the literal whole theme of the show is Jeremy not fitting in cause he's "socially awkward" and just generally "weird", you can mostly see it through how the SQUIP helps him socialize, the most clear example is maybe at the mall with Brooke and Chloe.

SARCASM, JOKES, METAPHORS ETC.

- Biggest one is in ILPR when Christine says "no this is where you meet for the swim team" when Jeremy asks about if you meet for Play Rehearsal there, and he takes the joke literally and starts to look around to make sure he's in the right place

- While Michael is talking about the Whole evolution thing, Jeremy is really confused, most probably because he doesn't understand why he's mentioning that as advice/metaphor?/an answer to his problems, then gets even more confused when he says "There's never been a better time in history to be a loser!"

- In Two-Player Game after Jeremy talks about getting the SQUIP and how it'll work and how it'll improve his life, Michael says "and if it does? Will you be too cool for... Video games??" He's clearly using that as an indirect way of saying he's afraid of losing him (which he actually does later on so that's fun!! /J) and Jeremy catches that but basically just completely ignores the metaphor thing and talks about it in a literal sense

RULES

- He mentions how he has some "rules" he follows to survive in More Than Survive (ofc it's in MTS) in the line "And so I follow my own rules, and I use them as my tools, to stay alive"

- This is not part of the musical, but it is in the book and I thought it was a good thing to mention here because it's pretty related, in the book he has these things called "Humiliation Sheets" they are papers he makes (and prints everyday, mind you) where he marks his social Humiliations, like when someone ignores him or laughs at him etc

MOTOR SKILLS

- Jeremy has like, pretty bad spacial awareness, like when he's Walking down the hallway In MS and he literally walks into half the people

- A really big example of it is in Be More Chill PT.2 when all of the people in the mall are flossing (as a whole thing because of the SQUIP) and Jeremy can't manage to get it right

STIMMING

- This is mentioned by the SQUIP in Be More Chill PT. 1, where it literally says "your tics and fidgets are persistent"

- Some of the ways he stims in:

1) The literal first line of the musical, when he says "c-c-c-c'mon c-c-c-c'mon go go!" that's a vocal stim, cause he's inpatient/nervous. (Also in I love play Rehearsal and voices in my head, maybe in some other moments too but idk rn)

2) Not to sure if this one counts as stimming, but he tends to hold onto things pretty tight (mostly through MTS) , like his sleeves or his backpack or Michael when Christine signs up

2.5) This closely relates to stim 2, but he also opens and closes his fists a lot, like clenching and unclenching them

(There's more but I can't remember all of them rn)

3) he moves his hands and rise and drops them a lot when he's upset and talking about what he's upset about, like in More Than Survive and Loser Geek Whatever, also, a lot of big gestures generally

4) At the Halloween party before (?) a guy that I'd kinda be into (Reprise) Christine asks "just say what's on your mind" and Jeremy basically makes a really weird noise which Christine goes along with, that's indeed vocal stimming!! They're stimming together how sweet is that!!

- This is not Jeremy related but I just wanted to mention it, Michael stims like A LOT, you can look at him in any scene and he will 99% surely be stimming in some way, specially in MITB (someone ask me about Michael being autistic so I can talk about that too pretty please /hj)

Can you tell I'm really into psychology and stuff?? This is basically my two fav interests combined, BMC AND PSYCHOLOGY YAYY!!!!

Btw feel free to talk about you own opinion/take on the whole thing, I'd be happy to know!! :D

[chasinglight41]

Be More Chill opened off Broadway 6 years ago today! What better way to celebrate than to have my community theater in Massachusetts open the show? I took production photos last night and it was a blast! Go to the Opera House Players YouTube channel to see our video trailer!

[graciegoeskrazy]

Last Resort

Sebastian Stan x Teen!reader

Warnings

HEAVY talks of Self-harm, mentions of mental hospitals/psych wards, reader has 2 moms (if that bothers you then just unfollow me), New York City lol, some language, not entirely proofread

Word Count

~2k

A/N

Can you tell I got really lazy at the end? Lol. Sorry for being mia again. Also send me all your fic recs. I’m a update the list soon. Semi proud of this one. Xoxo.

To put it lightly, it had been a rough couple of months, but the long awaited spring break had finally arrived. Your parents didn't tell you where you were going. You only assumed it was some nice dinner or lunch or a fun activity they had planned to kick off your week off. Going on weekend trips to the city wasn’t unusual. You lived not even an hour away, and your online schooling routine gave you and your family the flexibility needed to do fun things like this. This weekend, however, felt…different.

Before you and your parents left, you caught them putting one of your small duffel bags into the back of the car. You didn't think much about it. It wasn't until they pulled into an unfamiliar parking garage once you got into the city, that you started to ask questions.

“So, where exactly are we going?”

“It's a surprise.” Your mom said. A hint of mischief in her voice.

“I thought we were just gonna get something to eat?” You continued.

“We are technically. Well…you are.” Your other mom gave her a light smack on the arm as she drove through the building trying to find a parking spot.

“Don’t spoil it too much!”

They both stopped talking and sat in silence, placing mental bets on how much longer it would be until you started talking again. You shot another glance to the back of the car, then continued. “What’s with the duffel bag?”

Your moms exchanged gitty glances, having a silent conversation with their eyes, debating whether or not to explain more, or just let you see for yourself. They landed on the latter. You sat back abruptly in your seat, arms crossed, pondering what your mothers could possibly have in store.

The car finally pulled into a spot, and the car unclicked. As you got out and stretched your legs you caught a peak of your mom getting out the driver seat and heading to the back out the car. She pulled out the duffel bag and kept walking past you to the elevator. Your mothers paused, exchanged glances at each other's phones which seemed like some sort of text, then continued walking, signaling for you to follow them.

What in the world was happening?

…

The cool New York City air greeted you as you stepped foot on the pavement. Although it was spring and people were dressed like it was the hottest day of summer, there was still a chill in the air.

Your parents turned various corners and ended with you right behind. Ou asked a couple questions here and there, along with some not-so-educated guess…

“Is it…the zoo?”

“Is it a Broadway show?

“Are we seeing the Jonas Brothers in concert?!?!”

“Is it the Disney store? I think I deserve a shopping spree after all I've been through.”

You gave up eventually. With the unhidable smirks your parents kept giving as they walked in front of you, you could tell you were getting nowhere. One of your moms kept checking her phone every 2 seconds, so you felt as if you all were about to reach your destination. She grabbed your arms gently and led you forward so you were now walking in toe with them.

“You know we both love you more than anything in this world right?”

What the fuck is about to happen?!

You kept you cool and just nodded.

“And you know all we want to do is help. Right?”

Your first instinct was that they were about to send you to another mental hospital. You silently hoped and prayed that was not it. You already spent some time there and it was (simply yet accurately put) the deepest darkest hell you have ever experienced. It made some sense with the duffel bag, but still did not entirely add up. You just sent another nod her way.

She smiled and looked forward again. “We hope you have the best time. You will call us if you need anything at all. Understood?”

You quirked your head in confusion as all your steps slowed. “Okay. I need some serious context right now. What the hell do you mean?”

A new voice spoke up. “She means, you're coming with me.”

You whipped your head around and were relieved and equally confused to see a familiar face you adored so much.

“Sebastian!”

You and Sebastian had met when you were 7. You were working on a film together and since then have become inseparable, working on 2 other projects, seeing each other frequently, and practically trusting each other with your lives.

You both smiled as you hugged and greeted each other. “What the hell are you doing here?! What do you mean I'm coming with you?”

“One sec my love.” He said. He turned past you and greeted your parents. Your mom gave him the duffel bag while talking in hushed whispers. You couldn’t make out anything they were saying, but it didn't matter, you were too busy standing in shock from what was happening to try and figure out what was happening.

Your moms voice brought you back to the present. “We love you sweetie! We’ll see you later.”

Sebastian walked back towards you. “You ready?”

“Okay are you gonna be the one to tell me what’s happening?”

He sighed, “You need a break. So, I’m giving you one.”

Still vague.

“Okay? So where are we going?’

“First, grab a quick snack. Then, the park, and then after, my place.”

…

Your day was filled with scenic walks around NYC, delicious sweets provided by Sebastian, and it all led you to now. This duffel bag your parents brought was filled with some clothes and bathroom stuff for an overnight stay or 2. After getting showered in changed back at Sebastian’s apartment, you walked out of the bathroom to find Sebastian pumping up and air mattress for you to sleep on.

“You know I’ll just end up sleeping on the couch right?”

“Nope, I get the couch and you get the air mattress.”

“Hmm. In that case I’ll just take your bed.”

“Very funny. What happened to our movie night? I though you were gonna force me to watch the latest Spider-Man movie?”

“Yeah okay fine.”

You sat on the couch as Sebastian continued to set up the mattress, finishing it with pillows and blankets.

“Okay, I’m still confused. Why did my parents bribe you to hang out with me?”

He chuckled, “They didn’t bribe me, y/n. No one needs to bribe me to hang out with my favorite person.”

You smiled. “Okay, but why now? I still feel like I'm missing something.”

He put the air mattress pump down and sat across from you on the sofa.”

“Your parents and I are just worried, that’s all.”

You pondered his response for a moment. “Worried about what?”

He sighed, “About you.”

He knows

You let out a small fake chuckle. “Why on Earth would you need to-”

“Your parents told me what happened.”

All the color drained from your face. Sebastian must have noticed. He placed a comforting hand on your knee. He knew you kept a lot of things private. Although he knew of some things you were going though, now and in the past, he still knew you were a secretive person, you liked to handle things on your own. He knew it was hard for you to talk about things like this and also knew you definitely didn't want him to know about your most recent struggles, but your parents were desperate in getting you to open up, and Sebastian seemed like the safest bet.

“I- W-what are you-”

“Don't play dumb, y/n.”

The pain and worry seemed to turn to anger. You stood up and went to the kitchen to refill your drink. “I’m fine, Sebastian.”

“Trying to kill yourself doesn’t sound fine to me.”

“Shut up will you!”

“Tell me what happened.”

“I-“

“Go slow. Take your time. I’m here, and I’ve got all night.” He said that last part in an attempt to make you laugh, but it didn’t seem to work.

“A couple months ago…I don’t know, I was really tired. I was still in real school, the bullying was nonstop, everyone made fun of me for the stupidest things. I know I I better than what they said, or the stupid things they called me, but it still ge5s to you, you know? My grades were dropping as a result, I was being treated like shit at work with these terrible directors, and I just reached my breaking point.”

You looked at Sebastian, eyes asking for permission to go on. He nodded, pulling you in closer to him.

“I rarely told my parents about anything. They knew something was wrong, but they never would have suspected it got this bad. One night..I found a bottle of some old prescription pills that used to belong to my mom. I locked my self in the bathroom and just…”

The tears fell faster. You didn’t move. Sebastian just held you as you cried into him. His chin resting on your head. After a moment of catching your breath, you tried to continue.

“I spent a little more than a week in a mental hospital. It was like…pure hell. I never want to go back. And I know it all sounds dumb. I’m lucky, I went to a good school, I was working on a movie for christ's sake, I probably should’ve just sucked it up. I know it probably It sound like I’m a stupid spoiled brat-“

Sebastian grabbed your face genially in his hands “Hey! None of that. You do not need to apologize for what you did. You were struggling and weren’t in a good place. You do not have to apologize for that, you understand me?” You nodded. “All that matters now is that your here now, you're safe, you’re better, and you will get even better, okay? You’ve reached the bottom my love, but you made it out, and now there is nowhere to go but up.” You fell into him again. “And you’re not alone. You have your amazing moms, some of your friends, I beg there is people at work who care about you, and you have me, and you can’t get rid of me that easily, ok?”

“I just wish all of this was over. I wish I was fine, I wish I was normal. I hate feeling this way. This all just happened so fast. I miss myself, I miss being normal.”

“You will feel better again. And what even is normal? Normal is so boring. My love, you were never normal. You were this beautiful, intelligent, superstar young woman, leading a nowhere near normal life. The last thing I would want for you is for you to be normal.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“All you need to do now is focus on getting better, and know I will be there every single step of the way.”

[crystallizsch]

hi ian i come bearing angst fuel for the yuusha as twsted elsa (maybe an idea for her possible overblot idk she kinda reads to me as someone whod preemptively isolate in the case she feels...blotty)

(also seeing that art of her playing violin totally didnt fuck me up im still nursing my bruised heart 🥴🥴💕💕)

https://youtu.be/NDldNaEZTt8?si=Wm71pgTltuJLjFvk

^^this is from the frozen musical where they gave a song to elsa to explore her emotional turmoil and it just fleshed out her character so much more than the orig movie (ok i havent seen frozen 2 oops) but just this section here:

Is everyone in danger as long as I'm alive?

Was I a monster from the start?

How did I end up with this frozen heart?

Bringing destruction to the stage

Caught in a war that I was never meant to wage

anyways lmao i jus think the song is neat i think yuushas neat (i wanna see more of her ahehehe i love seeing infodumps abt ur yuus)

-diodellet

(throwback to this “what if yuu had magic” ask where i had a ✨realization✨ and this more recent yuusha lore drop that i gave zero elaboration on 🙃)

very rough ob yuu design??? idk i came up with it on the spot ;;; and it’s kinda based on disney’s concept art of elsa when she was supposed to be the villain.

evil ice queen vibes :3

also i know the ob monster is supposed to be based on the villain— which is elsa in this case— but lowkey. an ice monster is way cooler.

also also i just realized after i drew this i couldve done a grim/yuu tandem overblot ough 🤧🤧 (next time I'll do that instead if i ever go back to this concept)

(read more below because it got SO long)

AAH anyways hi hi dio!!! when i saw your ask i went —

— with this entire post

AAGH HOW MANY MORE UNINTENTIONAL CONNECTIONS ARE GOING TO BE BETWEEN FROZEN AND YUUSHA

i guess watching the movie everyday when it came out when you’re like 9 does something to your brain chemistry (and still haunts you at least a decade later) 💀

but anyways the angst ;;; overblot yuu ;;;;; my brain is rotting and the worms have taken over

also i didn’t even know that there was a frozen broadway musical so im gonna have to check it out later 🏃💨💨💨

(also dont worry frozen 2 is a nice watch for the most part but the way they concluded the characters did not feel 100% satisfying to me 😭 BUT i love some of the songs tho ;;; kristoff’s goofy 80s ballad song is one of them specifically, i need everyone to listen to it)

hfgnnfhfgv anyways thank you so much i’m chugging that angst fuel as i expand more on a possible ob yuusha with another infodump 💪💪💪

⚠️⚠️⚠️ ALSO IM SORRY BUT mentions of taking one’s own life so please proceed with caution ⚠️⚠️⚠️

i had to reread what my initial thoughts about it bc it was months ago??? and after rereading im just like, huh what was i on— (just that feeling when you just cringe at your old posts ;; but idk i think the insanity/cringe sometimes can loop back into being a genius and the cycle just continues)

anyways i’ve been on and off writing yuusha’s bio and overblot yuu was just at the back of my mind chilling but i didn’t really do anything with it.

but now that i have the opportunity,,,, im gonna go on the magicless route this time bc i feel like I've said all what i thought if it was an overblot due to her own magic.

so uh from what i gather overblots are a mix of overuse of magic + intense negative emotion.

since it’s magicless yuu, i guess the one of the general headcanons around the fandom is that they’ve been too exposed to overblots and then intense negative emotions suddenly just triggered their overblot.

uh anyways onto the elsa parts

Is everyone in danger as long as I'm alive? Was I a monster from the start? How did I end up with this frozen heart? Bringing destruction to the stage Caught in a war that I was never meant to wage

THE LYRICS ARE SO GOOD ;;; i really love how some broadway interpretations expand on the source material

and yeah you're right 🤧🤧🤧— yuusha would try to hide and escape, especially as she overblots bc she would try to avoid hurting people (and like elsa, it'd only hurt others more trying to escape bc of probably how she leaves destruction in her wake trying to make others stay away from her 😔)

(this is a small tangent but i remember thinking about an overblot kalim and i imagine him to be similar, like he would not hurt anyone intentionally in his overblot.)

anyways so the way it would go is that i imagine her friends got fatally injured either because a) she feels that she’s too “useless” without magic to help and wasn’t able to do anything OR b) her attempts at helping to try and prove that she can help without magic made everything worse.

and then she just goes into a guilty spiral then boom — overblot.

ALSO in the song, the way elsa briefly contemplated taking her own life but then realizing there’s no guarantee that would solve anything hnghgh (<- another unintentional parallel to my yuusha lore because that’s actually how she ended up in twst except she did NOT have the latter realization)

there’s this “yuu is dead” theory i’m just using and that the black carriage actually just caught yuusha’s soul after she took her own life from all the burden.

also some bonus angst context for that violin post :3

yuusha back in her homeworld is raised and known to be a gifted musician. people can feel the life and soul in her music but when people interact with her, they are usually met with an ice-cold (heh) personality.

the dead family member was the one who taught her music and the only one who was kind to her.

there’s always an expectation from her family to perform well and to keep up appearances as to not be a humiliation since anything she does can reflect on her entire family. (also hi, slight yuusha/jamil parallels maybe???)

the way she presents herself also stemmed from an incident as a child when she went apeshit on another kid bc she was defending a friend.

so from then on she was taught taught to conceal don’t feel those emotions — which just unfortunately extended to any positive ones, not just negative ones like rage.

so when she is brought to twst, there’s no memory of her being forced to hold back her emotions so she’s just unapologetically affectionate and open with everyone bc that’s how she really is.

but every now and then, memories of her breaking down haunt her in her dreams or as subtle reminders in the waking world.

then yuusha just goes on her day like she just wasn't reminded of her past.

(unnecessarily tragic lore my beloved, but anyway—)

another extremely brief tangent and bonus -> the two songs i had on loop while drawing pre-twst yuusha

lindsey stirling my beloved i love her music

the songs are such a vibe

her instrumentals in “lose you now” especially makes me feel some sort of way 😖

[azaleapaperpad]

Red Curtains and Chandeliers

Phantom of The Opera (Broadway version)(Merik) x GN! Reader (Part 2) WC: 1414

It had been a struggle at first, not seeing him or being around him for such a long time. Although, since returning home you reconnected with an old neighborhood friend you would play with in your youth. Upon catching up with this old friend, she had mentioned wanting to perform at the Opera Populaire, and every thought of The Phantom and the Chandelier falling came rushing back. You felt silent tears roll down your cheeks as your friend spoke. 

“Oh, dearest, are you okay? Did I say something to upset you? I’m so sorry!” Your friend apologized profusely as they grabbed their handkerchief to wipe away your tears. 

“Oh no, it’s just… I was at the Opera Populaire, and- such awful things happened! You know the chandelier came down, correct? It hit the audience! And-” You cut yourself off before you could mention the Phantom of the Opera. You didn’t want to out him, you still cared for him even though as of recently his actions have been intense, to say the least. So, you just sobbed for a few minutes and let your friend comfort you a bit. 

After you had finished, they tried talking. 

“Well, I did read about that. But, what are the chances that is to happen again?” You almost scoffed at them, but again, you didn’t want to directly out the Opera Ghost. 

“You know they say it’s haunted, right?” You said, trying to convince them to back out. 

“Oh, please. I’d like to see the ghost try to harm me. I grew up with 3 brothers, there’s hardly anything it can throw at me that I couldn’t handle” They said with a bright smile. What a fool, you thought.

There was clearly no convincing them to back down, but their determination somewhat inspired you. Of course, you knew you were already going back, but now you knew you would have a friend. A confidant, to help if things go haywire. That is, if they passed Madame Giry’s test first. You were confident they could do it though. 

It wasn’t until about 4 months later, you both were now at the Opera Populaire, that the same emotions you had that day came flowing back. Before you could get carried away in your emotions though, you felt a gentle squeeze on your shoulder. 

“Hey, cheer up! It’s going to be fine, just you wait. I’ll protect you from all ghosts, just like when we were children!” Your new best friend reassured you. You smiled at them, albeit it was a slightly pitiful smile. Oh, how naive, you thought. But before anything else could be said, you were yanked into the Opera House, and to your shared doom dorm. A minor feeling of unease settled itself into your stomach, but you couldn’t bother yourself with worries right now, not when you had to prepare for the Masquerade ball! 

You and your friend were very excited about the ball, prepping in advance by bringing the basics of your costumes, and even finishing the detailing just hours before the party. Your friend had chosen a floral design. They looked like a rosebush, all green with red and white and pink roses. Their mask was basically a bouquet of roses with eye holes cut out, with their hair pinned up in swirls to resemble roses. You would think they had an obsession with how much detailing went into their ensemble.

You on the other hand, had a bit more of a subtle costume. You donned a spiderweb-like mask, and silky flowing clothes with bits of tule sticking straight out in a web-like pattern. The white underlayer had web designs stitched in black and gray. You even added some fake spiders here and there for a more authentic look. Throughout the night, you two had danced around each other, trading partners and giggling about. When everyone had started singing ‘Masquerade!’ you two joined in and suddenly…

You felt it

A chill in your spine 

The trill of the organ

The looming presence that only one entity could possess

“Why so silent good Messieurs?” A chill ran up your spine and you only knew to run and hide. He had to have known you were here now, but hopefully he didn’t know where your new room was. You and your friend were in the back of the crowd, so you slipped out once The Phantom took a few steps after his grand entrance. 

But just before you left behind a door, you looked back and realized how far down he’d gone. His crotch was at eye level. You flushed red and stared at the way his crotch curved and rounded and smoothed out. Watching him walk, watching his hips (albeit exaggerated) sway in his bold garments and lavish fabrics. You snapped out of it in a second and dashed for your room. 

Once you two were safe in your room, you took a second to catch your breath and you looked over at your friend, who seemed to be just winded, and maybe a tad annoyed? 

“Why did you drag me out of there? Now what’s going to happen? What if someone gets hurt and we could have  helped!?” They asked, almost accusatory. You looked at them in shock. 

“I just saved you, and I warned you long ago of the dangers of coming here. Everyone here knows the risks and they chose to be here, like you and I.” You stated. You shook your head and pinched the bridge of your nose before looking up to your dresser and looking around for your suitcase. As soon as you rendered it not in immediate sight, you moved from your spot and around the room to find it. Your friend looked a you with a puzzled expression.

“What the hell are you doing?” They asked. 

“Leaving. This was clearly a mistake and I’ll not ruin our friendship over it so let’s go-”

“I’m not going anywhere, darling.” They said with a stern voice, cutting you off. 

“We can fight him. I know we can!” They said, determination clear in their tone. You were far too anxious to even think about approaching him, far too scared. Your friend could feel your unease, and stepped towards you putting a hand on your shoulder to comfort you.

"I know you're scared of him, but he is just a man. I know many here believe he's a ghost, but I don't believe in such things. A ghost doesn't don red clothes and prance around making announcements to the entire opera house!" They explained. "Is there anyone here who would know more about him?" They asked, kneeling close to you to read you better. You looked up at them from your spot, kneeling next to your bed. You felt so disheartened, you really didn't want to pursue him, it felt as if the wounds were still too fresh.

"I came here to be with you, and to help you. Please let me help you..." They asked one more time. You sighed, knowing if you didn't answer them now, you'd probably have to answer them again later.

"I... think Madam Giry knows something... but she won't tell you anything." You warned. Before they could even process that last bit, they got up and headed for the door.

Dumbass was all you could think before they dragged you off towards Madam Giry, but Raoul got to her first. Your friend attempted to push through the crowd. You didn’t want to upset your friend, but you resisted moving when the crowds of people kept pushing through. Your head was turning left and right, spinning with the madness surrounding you. When suddenly, a flash of red caught your eye. Under the stairs.

You knew exactly where he was going, and unfortunately for you, your eyes gave away everything and your friend looked at you in that moment, following your line of vision and your friend caught the secret door closing, they even blinked.

“Did you see that?! We have to go there!” They exclaimed. You were about to protest, to hold your ground and tell your friend “No, I’m not going to expose the man I love-” when oops- someone tripped you and you stumbled forward. Instinct kicked in and you started letting your friend lead you, the momentum carrying you. Its almost like the author made all of this so convenient for plot reasons.

Well. You were about to face your biggest fear this century.

[i-think-that-i-would-die]

reintroduction thing because my first one makes me recoil with cringe <3

hi my names kayle (pronounced kale). i use she/they pronouns. i like to write and i have a crippling obsession with musicals and bands (mostly 90s and bands from the grunge scene). i post works on ao3 and i also have a pinterest where i post sometimes.

https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayled_chop

https://www.pinterest.com/enashinonomemybeloved/

i will accept requests for fics if you for some reason like my work. ill write anything, however negative topics (such as incest and non-con) will be portrayed in the light it should (aka: im not romanticizing that shit).

uh favorite things ig:

bands: alice in chains, hole, nirvana, pearl jam, metallica, weezer, dazey and the scouts, the oozes, the jimi hendrix experience (and jimi hendrix in general), babes in toyland, bikini kill, le tigre, foo fighters (dad rock >>>>), deftones, paramore, my chemical romance, the smashing pumpkins, soundgarden, theres more but ill run out of room

songs: nutshell - alice in chains, why go - pearl jam, either double dare ya, carnival, or rebel girl - bikini kill, either (i dont think im allowed to write the name of in utero track three on tumblr) or floyd the barber - nirvana, either petals, teenage whore, or drown soda - hole, el scorcho - weezer, dolphin's cry - live, can't catch me now - olivia rodrigo (im a sucker for the songs in the hunger games movies' soundtracks [ESPECIALLY THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES UGHHE]), either february stars or cheer up, boys (your makeup is running) - foo fighters, bullet with butterfly wings - the smashing pumpkins, either mono, skinny little bitch (im pretty sure nobody's daughter doesn't count as hole and it's more of courtney's solo work), or i'll do anything - courtney love (courtneys solo work is so good <3), beans - kurt cobain, institutionalized - suicidal tendencies (all i wanted was a pepsi. just one pepsi. and she wouldn't give it to me), and im gonna run out of room again yippie'and im gonna run out of room again yippie (why the fuck is this on here twice)

misc musicians ig: will wood, mitski, kurt cobain (solo work), courtney love (solo work), wowaka, sabrina carpenter, carrie underwood, i listen to too much goddamn music i cant even remember half of the people i listen to 💀

musicals: heathers (both the off-broadway and west end), the outsiders (i wanna see it so bad but im broke), the trail to oregon, ride the cyclone, and be more chill (watching it isnt enough i NEED the book)

movies: the aforementioned heathers and the outsiders, but im a cheerleader, the hunger games (i havent finished any movie past the first one), the perks of being a wallflower, uh thats it

shows: the middle, reba, and bobs burgers. those are literally the only shows i still like other than a couple of episodes of murder, she wrote

books: the outsiders (i fucking love the outsiders), the giver quartet, the lunar chronicles, the hunger games (sunrise on the reaping comes out like two weeks before my birthday, yippie :D), a good girls guide to murder, 1984, animal farm, fahrenheit 451, brave new world (i love dystopias so much), the divergent series (not allegiant. tris was so insufferable in allegiant. i hate it so much. allegiant can go choke on a dick.), the inheritance games, heartstopper, solitaire (actually most of the books of the osemanverse.), the small portion of that one nancy drew book i read, theres way more but im gonna run out of room

thats ig

oh, and if it isnt obvious by my other posts and reblogs:

Free Palestine

Free Congo

Free Sudan

And

Save Ukraine

[bcofl0ve]

As a fan of Austin it has always frustrated me when anyone calls him pretentious because he most definitely is not. So I don’t want to do that to someone else. However. That is how I feel about Mike Faist. I have only seen him like everyone around him is annoying him and he’s not into complimenting anyone else. Maybe that’s his personality, and if it is it’s still not for me haha. But since I know you have been a fan for a long time maybe you could tell me how I have misread him?

i think he just has a cagey personality, like he hasn't *changed* w fame or anything like that because that's just always been his personality. the dear evan hansen obc was kinda clusterfuck in...a lot of ways lmao and every other person had an "actually they are insane" story abt them (esp will roland lmfao but i met him when he was in be more chill and he was so SO sweet, so maybe he changed between deh and then?).

but i never heard anything bad about mike, and all my friends that met him said he was very sweet. i wish i had screenshots since he deleted his twitter but. when i was going through my old broadway stan twitter to see what i posted about him i remembered we actually interacted on twitter a few times and he tweeted me to thank me for fanmail i sent him! (broadway fandoms are Big on fan mail culture- that's actually something i miss bc it was fun to get creative with it. esp when getting really creative =ed you might get a social media shout out or fun mail in response. (i got a playbill rory o'malley signed out to me personally, a card from lin-manuel miranda and a very close to my heart personal card from brittain ashford- all things i hold dear). i can def see how his personality may make him come off a certain way- but at least when i really followed him as a broadway fan i never heard anything bad. and bway fandom is *insular* lol- stories about people being rude gets around fasttttt.

[hylianengineer]

For some reason I have abruptly returned to being insane about Cabaret. It's a musical about the rise of fascism and the tragedy that is pretending everything is fine until it's too late. It's also a heartwrenching doomed romance. It's unusually direct and neutral-to-positive about its depiction of sex work given how mainstream it is. It's about vice and desperation and fear and horrible, horrible coping mechanisms. It gets the audience invested in not one but two doomed romances AND a doomed friendship that are all about to be torn apart by the impending rise of Nazism. By the end of the play the majority of characters have had their lives torn apart by this one encroaching evil and we have to watch it happen. We have to watch them make all the bad decisions in which they might have been able to save themselves, but they didn't, because they were human and fallible. Because they didn't want to see what was happening around them, or take a risk, or they just couldn't quite bring themselves to believe that getting a happy ending was an option. We can see all the ways it might have gone differently.

I can't get over how incredible our university production of it was. I may be biased but I love it more than the Broadway version. For one thing, we had a nonbinary actor playing the Emcee, which meant that their romance with a Jewish woman came across as both Jewish and queer and like the biggest possible fuck you to the Nazis. But also, they were just such a good actor. The sad-and-terrified-but-forcing-themself-to-be-okay vibes in the final scene were so visceral and haunting. "Where are your troubles now? Forgotten? I told you so. We have no troubles here. Here, life is beautiful. The women are beautiful. Even the orchestra is beautiful." They sounded so broken in this scene. The juxtaposition between the words and the way they said them was like being punched in the gut. I wish I could tell them this but I do not even slightly know this person.

The depiction of the Nazis is also amazing because it shows them as people. Not in a "oh we should sympathize with them" way, but in a "oh fuck they could be ANYONE and you'd never know it" way. As Fräulein Schneider says, they are her friends and neighbors. She expects her friends and neighbors to support her when she decides to marry Herr Schultz, a Jewish man, but as it turns out, some of them are Nazis and make it very clear that if she doesn't break off the engagement, they'll turn on her.

We LIKE the Nazi character, right up until he takes off his coat and shows off the Swastika armband. We had no idea he was harboring such nastiness in his heart - he seemed nice! He was charming. He was kind. He was Clifford's and our introduction to Berlin, and he made a damn good first impression. He was very pleasant to Herr Schultz right up until the he realized he was a Jew, and it was chilling to watch that scene unfold. I remember sitting backstage every night and waiting to hear everyone go dead silent at the reveal. Chilling.

The other thing Caberet does so well is the "why should we care about politics? what does that have to do with us?" angle. Sally says it outright - she'd rather know nothing about what's happening, and even when confronted with it, she doesn't care. She doesn't understand why Cliff won't help Ernst anymore after finding out exactly what those smuggled goods were for - as far as she's concerned, they need the money and the politics are irrelevant. The politics being Nazism, of course. She has absolutely no malice towards the people the Nazis are hurting - she's just incredibly, horribly naive. Doesn't it just make your blood run cold?

It's extra creepy to watch this play in the political environment of the last year or so - the way things have been getting progressively more and more scary for queer people. There were definitely a few times when I read some particularly awful news coming out of Florida and felt very much like Cliff grappling with the horrible realization that he needed to get out of Berlin yesterday. And trying to explain that sheer terror to my straight relatives did feel reminiscent of Clint's failed attempts to make Sally see reason. But it didn't affect her directly, so she didn't care. She had her own life and her own priorities and why should she care about things that don't affect her? I hope things here and now never get that bad, but the exact reason it's so disturbing is that people in early-1930s Berlin never guessed it would get that bad either.

And this is a story based on true events. It's fictionalized, but it isn't made up. Cliff is more or less an author insert for the very real person who wrote the book the musical is based on: Goodbye to Berlin by Christopher Isherwood. And by the way, Christopher Isherwood was gay.

Tl;dr Go see Cabaret and have your heart broken in like fifteen different ways. But read the trigger warnings first.

[thesquirrelqueer]

BMC Archival Footage Notes

This is gonna be a long post so I’m gonna put it under the cut, like it says these are notes from me watching the Be More Chill Broadway archival footage at the New York Public Library, it’s mostly small things I noticed that I hadn’t before or things specific to this performance of the show or just random thoughts I had while watching it 

Basics

The footage is from August 8, 2019

I watched it on a CRT tv

There were multiple camera angles

It was high quality

There were credits in the beginning

Jason Tam was not listed with the main cast in the credits he was listed after the swings for some reason? There were no swings on so idk why it was like that

Act 1

I thought it had been cut but “girls! boys!” still exists

Mr. Reyes is in the theatre when Jeremy walks in before ILPR

Rich chases Jenna and tries to pull her hair when they enter after ILPR

Mr. Reyes: We are going to take a 5 minute break so that I can eat a hot pocket!      Jake, pointing: sick!

Jake to Rich as he leaves rehearsal: Yeah, see ya dude (it’s very quiet dialogue that I’d just never noticed)

Christine leans on the podium to try to look cool while she’s talking to Jake

Jake gives Christine a peace sign when he walks out at the end of that scene

Rich: he was so lonely SHHHHH the poor guy

Rich gets in Jeremy’s personal space and whispers in his ear on “speaks to you directly” and Jeremy does not like it

Michael is reading a magazine when the bed slides in for TPG

MITB plays under some of the dialogue in TPG

Scary Stockboy makes a lot of weird ass noises 

The SQUIP shoebox has a tiny bit of fog coming out of it

The SQUIP pill itself actually glows 

Jeremy kept drinking his Mountain Dew after Michael left as if he was hoping the SQUIP would activate if he drank more

Jake hides behind Christine when Jeremy’s SQUIP is activating 

The SQUIP voice was different than I’d ever heard it? It was weirdly deeper than usual and it threw me off

SQUIP: everything about you is so ✨tewwabowle✨

Jeremy has like a panic attack after the SQUIP says “everything about you makes me wanna die” (”oh god oh no oh no oh god”)

“this” when the SQUIP sang “she had a shirt just like this” was a lower than normal note

There’s a moon and sunrise projection in the background when Jeremy goes to sleep

Jake and Rich have a similar handshake to Michael and Jeremy

Jeremy does finger guns to Brooke on their “let’s sync up” 

Chloe kicked Christine’s backpack too far and it went off stage (not into the audience but the backstage area)

Jenna was very obviously filming Rich doing something weird with his belly button when the curtain opened 

Jeremy yeeted his script off stage when the SQUIP started controlling him for his Puck monologue 

Jenna got out her phone before Jeremy started his monologue because she was gonna film him failing and then he didn’t fail

Jenna fans Jeremy with her script after his monologue 

Me watching Christine give birth to the bowling ball: this woman is an Oscar nominee 

the SQUIP inspects the bowling ball baby when Jeremy is holding it

Jeremy sniffs his armpits when the SQUIP tells him “I’ve been activating your pheromones”

Christine had one had in her sweater sleeve during most of GTIKBI

They didn't show Jenna on the bleachers

Jake does a lot of small riffs during Upgrade

Usually spoken parts were sung very softly during LGW

After “optic nerve blocking on” Michael can been seen for a brief moment in the screens around the stage

Act 2

They play the SQUIP tango at the end of intermission

Mini dance battle dialogue I could make out Rich: Come on Jake!      Brooke: What?!

Jake: The keg’s right over there! Yo Chloe!

Chloe wipes her tears with her skirt during DYWH

Jake tells Brooke to hold him back when they find Chloe and Jeremy

Jenna bounces her leg when telling Michael to hurry up

Brooke walks by in the the background at the beginning of the GTIKBI (reprise) scene, sees Jeremy, then storms off

Whose bra is on the lamp in this scene???

Jeremy just screamed for his “say what's on your mind”

Christine looked happy and excited when Jeremy asked her out, like she was gonna say yes but then decided it wasn’t the right time

When the SQUIP comes back, a piece of the curtain got statically stuck to his costume

Jenna happy stims when Chloe says “Spit it out! Spit it out!”

Cheerleading choreography 

Mr. Heere: do you love him? *record scratch sound*

Chloe to Jake: you had it coming!       Jake, sadly: okay :(

Chloe doesn’t even say “come on” when she calls Brooke, she just slaps her leg and gesture for Brooke to go with her

The prop beaker flew too far and ended up backstage, Jeremy had to actually go off stage to retrieve it

there are 3 audible snaps after the line “when you improve the lives of all your peers”

Jenna looked so sad when she said “I would do anything to feel like I belong”

Scrolling text of green code on the screens around the stage near the end of TPC

“everything about you is going to be wonderful” instrumental plays under Jeremy trying to convince Christine to take a SQUIP

Mr. Reyes: I suppose you’ll be wanting your costume back *starts to cry as he runs off stage*

The SQUIP being lowered onto the stage during The Play seemed oddly fast

Michael mimics Jeremy’s weird position when he says “it’s a gesture, gesture matter!”

Michael does a little dance on “I just know it’s never gonna happen”

Jake just wanders around in the background holding the empty bottle of Mountain Dew Red

Christine: You’re the guy I am so kinda into      Jeremy: I am?

LGW plays as Jeremy breaks free from the SQUIP and gives Christine the Mountain Dew Red 

Michael’s jaw drops when he hears Rich say “totally bi now”

Rich does the 👉👌 hand gesture after “tell her that she excites you sexually”

Jake dabs and Jeremy dabs back at him

[musette22]

The Element of Surprise

Pairing: Chris Evans x Sebastian Stan (Evanstan)

Rating: Explicit (18+ only please)

Word count: 4.5k

Warnings: rough(er) sex, light degrading language, light roleplay, light Dom/sub

A/N: AKA the long awaited mustache fic (awaited by no one but me, but still). I've had that little text convo at the beginning saved in my notes app for a long time, but I never quite knew how I wanted to follow it up. I still didn’t really know where I was going with this when I finally started writing it, but I should have known it would turn into filth. I’m not sorry, except to those of you who can't abide the 'stache (even though your opinion is wrong) <3 And btw, if you're thinking 'this reads like a bad porn flick', that is entirely intentional 😌 Hope you enjoy! Comments = love <3

****

C: be there in 30

S: I'll put a beer in the freezer

C: I love you

S: I know

S: love you too

C: and seb, just

C: don't laugh ok

S: huh?

S: why would I laugh

C: you'll see

S: ?? what does that mean?

C: be there soon 😘

Sebastian huffs, leaving his phone on the couch as he heads into his kitchen and pulls open the pantry door.

He doesn’t drink enough beer to permanently keep his fridge stocked with the stuff, and while Chris does love his beer (understatement), he’s trying to cut back. Or at least not to drink on weeknights. Too much. But since tonight is Friday and they have a whole weekend ahead of them in which they’ll be doing nothing but relaxing, ordering pizza, and watching movies, Sebastian figures they can start indulging a little early. He grabs a couple of beers from the bottom shelf, sticking them in the freezer to chill, so Chris will come home to a cold beer later.

As he returns to the living room and stretches out on the couch, bag of potato chips in hand, it occurs to Sebastian just how domestic it all feels. The thought makes him smile.

He’s never been very good at domesticity, which it’s why it’s even more surprising how much he likes it, this time around. He knows he shouldn’t get too used to having Chris in his space, he does, but it’s just too nice not to want to soak it up and roll around in it every chance he gets. The prospect of Chris staying at his place for longer than just a weekend makes something warm and giddy fizz in the pit of his stomach. It’s addictive.

For the next few months, Chris will be on stage every night in his first ever Broadway play, and for the duration of its run, he’ll be staying in New York.

Officially, Chris is renting a swanky place in Tribeca.

Unofficially, he’s staying with Sebastian at his tiny SoHo apartment.

The fact that Sebastian lives in New York played at least some part in Chris’s decision to do a Broadway play this year. They were both tired of only seeing each other whenever one of them could take a few days off to visit the other (under the radar, of course). Already, Chris spending an extended period of time in New York has done their relationship a world of good.

Things are good. Easy. If he’s being honest with himself, Sebastian can’t remember the last time he felt so content.

Since coming to New York, Chris has been going to rehearsals every weekday. Sebastian has sometime off in between projects, and he’s set to attend the premiere of Lobby Hero this Monday – ostensibly as an interested co-star, secretly in the capacity of supportive boyfriend. He can’t wait to see Chris shine on stage. Chris is nervous as hell, to the point where he’s wondered if blowing the whole thing off wouldn’t be better than letting everyone down, but there’s no doubt in Sebastian’s mind that he’ll knock it out of the park. Chris is a lot better than he gives himself credit for.

When a car door slams outside his apartment, Sebastian sits up, brushing the crumbs off his sweater – a soft, light blue one that Chris says brings out his eyes. When he darts a look out the window, Chris’s cab is just driving off. The man himself is keeping his head down, so all Sebastian can see is the top of the baseball cap he’s wearing.

Curious now, Sebastian gets up to greet Chris. Less than a minute later, the door to Sebastian’s apartment opens, Chris walks in, looks up, and –

Sebastian chokes on air.

The sound that leaves him is one he’s never heard himself make before; something high and squeaky and extremely embarrassing.

“Don’t,” Chris says instantly, a warning in his voice.

Sebastian gapes at him.

“You have a mustache,” he says faintly, once he’s remembered how to talk.

“Yep.” Chris lifts a hand to his face, fiddling with said mustache. “It’s for the role.”

Distantly, Sebastian registers he sounds a little off, and that’s when he finally notices the hint of apprehension in Chris’s eyes. Just the smallest glint of poorly concealed uncertainty.

Chris is worried, Sebastian realizes with a start.

Worried that Sebastian will laugh at him. That Sebastian might not find him attractive anymore.

Well. No need to worry about that, apparently.

Because for some unholy reason, that thing on Chris’s upper lip – big and bushy and only about half an inch on either side removed from being a handlebar mustache – is currently making Sebastian want to climb him like a fucking tree.

Not that he doesn’t normally want to do that, but urge is suddenly more intense than usual. By about three hundred and twelve percent.

“You look…”

“Ridiculous?” Chris supplies, self-deprecating as always. “Like my dad? A 70s porn star?”

“You look hot.” Sebastian doesn’t quite mean to blurt it out like that, but he does anyway. And. Well. That’s out there now.

Chris’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “I – what?”

“Fuck,” Sebastian breathes. He runs a shaky hand through his short hair, trying to gather his thoughts. “Look, I don’t know what this says about me, but uh. I am like, really fucking attracted to you right now. Even more than usual, I mean.”

For a long moment, Chris looks at him as if he’s crazy, or maybe like he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop, but once it becomes clear that Sebastian isn’t joking (if only he were), Chris’s expression turns into one of tentative amusement.

“You’re serious,” he says, taking a step closer. Keeping his eyes fixed on Sebastian’s face, he carefully runs his thumb and forefinger over the mustache in a gesture that kind of makes him look like he’s up to no good. “You like it?”

Sebastian swallows. “Uh-huh.”

“Didn’t know you had a thing for guys with mustaches.”

“Neither did I.” Sebastian takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “I think it might even just be you.”

“Oh, really?” Chris asks, some of his usual cheek returning now that he realizes he isn’t going to get laughed at. Far from it, in fact. “Huh. What do you like about it?”

“Um,” Sebastian says, swallowing as Chris steps closer. Oh Christ, it’s even worse up close. Or better, depending how you look at it. And Sebastian is looking at it. Can’t tear his eyes away from it, actually. “It. Uh - it makes you look…”

Several words flit, unbidden, through Sebastian’s mind, each one worse than the last. Macho. Authoritative. Mean.

“…good,” he finishes lamely.

Worryingly, Chris’s smile grows into a full-blown grin, and Sebastian’s skin erupts into goosebumps.

Oh, no. Sometimes Sebastian really wishes Chris didn’t know him as well as he does.

Though when Chris takes off his baseball cap, tossing it onto the hallway table, Sebastian hisses. “Ah, okay. The hair is kinda bad.”

Chris snorts, running his fingers through the spiky strands. “Right? I look like an asshole.”

“Little bit.”

Chris gives him a calculating look. “So… does that mean the effect is ruined?”

Sebastian takes a moment to consider this. “I mean, it’s objectively bad, but…” he trails off. Ugh, he really should be used to this by now, but on some level Sebastian still can’t believe that Chris can make literally any look work for him. So annoying. “…no. Not ruined. Sadly.”

Reassured, Chris slowly starts to advance on him. With every step that Chris takes forward, Sebastian takes one back, until his heels hit the wall of his hallway. He holds his breath, feeling like a bunny rabbit about to be eaten by a wolf, though presumably a little more turned on than said bunny rabbit would be at the prospect.

Stopping right in front of him, Chris leans in, placing his hands against the wall on either side of Sebastian’s shoulders.

“Hey, good lookin’,” Chris says, his breath ghosting Sebastian’s left ear. Sebastian shivers with his entire body – something which doesn’t escape Chris’s notice, and makes the grin turn into a smirk. “You come here often?”

Despite how turned on he’s rapidly getting, Sebastian snorts. “Yeah, I’d say so.”

Chris hums. “Funny how I haven’t seen you here before, then.”

“I have been saying you should get an eye test. You’ve been squinting a lot more lately.”

“Seb,” Chris huffs, fighting a smile. “C’mon, I’m tryin’ something here.”

“Right, sorry.” Sebastian clears his throat. “I, uh. I haven’t seen you before either.” Licking his lips, he adds, “Would’ve noticed if I had.”

“You would, huh? And why’s that?”

“Well, see…” Sebastian’s eyes drop to Chris’s mouth. Specifically, his upper lip situation. “It’s the mustache. Kinda hard to miss.”

Chris raises one eyebrow. “You know what else is hard?” he asks lewdly, rolling his hips.

Sebastian can’t stop himself – he lets out a helpless peal of laughter, throwing his head back and making it collide with the wall. He barely notices it, because the next thing he knows, Chris is on him, kissing up his throat and oh hello, okay, that feels weird. Good, but weird. He can’t even say why exactly it feels weird, since Chris’s beard used to tickle too, but somehow, when it’s just the ‘stache without the rest of it, it tickles more than it used to. Feels way more bristly like this.

Under Chris demanding mouth, Sebastian’s laugh morphs into a moan, and he slides down the wall a fraction, pressing into Chris and baring his neck a little further. Chris’s teeth scrape over his Adam’s apple, one of his hands wandering over Sebastian’s chest and squeezing at a pec.

“Sir,” Sebastian says, breathlessly scandalized. “Wh- what are you doing?”

“Just takin’ what I want.” Chris pulls back to look Sebastian in the eye, grabbing his chin between his thumb and forefinger. “You got a problem with that, sweetheart?”

Sebastian gulps, blinking hard. “No, sir.”

“That’s what I thought,” Chris leers, leaning in to bite at Sebastian’s bottom lip and pulling at it with his teeth. At the same time, he runs his left hand down Sebastian’s side and abs, all the way down until it slips between his legs. He cups the growing hardness there, giving it a firm squeeze.

“Oh, fuck,” Sebastian breathes, hands flying up to Chris’s waist.

“How’s that feel, honey? You like that?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Yeah? You want me to keep touching you?”

“Yes.” Another mean squeeze. “Yes, please,” Sebastian amends quickly.

“How sweet.” Chris palms Sebastian’s dick again, tight and warm and so good, before abruptly pulling back his hand, leaving Sebastian to whimper and buck his hips. “Well, that’s tough, sweetheart,” Chris tells him, “‘cause you’re not gettin’ anything else till I decide you’ve earned it.”

Before Sebastian even has time to process that, Chris spins them around so that Chris is the one with his back against the wall, and then roughly pushes Sebastian down to his knees with a big hand on his shoulder.

Sebastian moans; a little for show, and a little because he genuinely likes being pushed around a bit. Usually, though, it takes Chris a lot longer to let go liken this. It tends to happen only when he’s getting close and his all he blood in his brain has relocated to his dick, but now, it seems that a little bit of clumsy role-play also does the trick.

Whatever it is, Sebastian thinks, he’ll be damned if he lets an opportunity like this pass him by.

Resting his hands on Chris thighs, Sebastian eagerly leans in to nuzzle at his crotch, mouthing at the hardening outline of his dick through his jeans. Chris hisses, hand scrabbling at Sebastian’s hair, trying to find purchase before seeming to realize that Sebastian’s hair is too short to grab right now (and doesn’t that make Sebastian suddenly regret cutting it immensely) and resorting to putting a hand over Sebastian’s face and just pushing him away instead.

“Did I say you could do that?” Chris’s asks. His usually easy voice is now laced with something dark, something almost menacing, sending a shiver down Sebastian’s spine.

He swallows hard, his throat suddenly dry, dick perking up eagerly inside his sweats. “No, sir. Sorry.”

“Damn right,” Chris mutters. “You’ll get it when I give it to you. Now, are you gonna be good for me?”

Sebastian sucks in a shaky breath. Goddamn.

“Are you?” Chris repeats, tapping Sebastian’s cheek to prompt him.

“Yeah,” Sebastian nods, a little dazed. “Yeah, I’ll be good.” He watches, fascinated, as Chris’s right hand deftly flicks open the button on his jeans, before slowly pulling down his zipper, inch by excruciating inch. Sebastian finds himself willing Chris to go faster, to let him see what he’s got in his pants, which is ridiculous, because Sebastian knows what Chris has got in his pants. He should, seeing as he’s sucked it plenty of times. But somehow, what they’re doing here feels all kinds of new and exciting. Makes his breath come faster, eyes glued to the bulge in Chris’s jeans and mouth starting to water in anticipation.

Once his zip is down, Chris lowers his jeans a little, just enough so he can comfortably cup his dick, giving himself a teasing squeeze. “You want this?”

Sebastian tears his eyes away from it and looks up at Chris, who’s looking down at him with a sardonic smile on his face.

“Yes, please,” Sebastian says, feeling his eyes go big and round almost of their own volition.

Chris groans quietly, stroking Sebastian’s cheek with the backs of his fingers. “Look at you. Such a pretty guy.” A devilish glint appears in his eyes as he adds, “Be a shame if something got you all dirty, wouldn’t it?”

Oh, jesus.

While Sebastian can’t do anything but watch uselessly, Chris takes himself out of his underwear, pulling down his boxers enough to hook the waistband under his balls but otherwise remaining fully clothed. His dick is all the way hard already, flushed that pretty shade of pink Sebastian loves so much, wetness pearling at the exposed tip. Sebastian’s mouth literally waters so much he needs to swallow. Once again, he leans in to try and get his mouth on Chris, and once again Chris pushes him back with an admonishing hand to the face.

“Now, now. Don’t be greedy.”

Sebastian huffs impatiently behind Chris’s palm. “Please.”

Chris chuckles, taking hold of Sebastian’s chin again and running the pad of his thumb over Sebastian’s bottom lip. Sebastian doesn’t waste any time in letting his mouth drop open, something thrilling inside of him when Chris slides his thumb between his lips and presses down on his tongue. Sebastian closes his lips around the digit, moaning softly as he suckles at it. It’s not quite what he wants, but it’s still part of Chris inside of him, and he’ll take what he can get.

Sebastian is all set to protest again when Chris pulls his finger out, but before he can say anything, Chris shuts him right back up again by taking his cock in hand and literally rubbing it in Sebastian’s face.

Sebastian makes a shocked noise, eyes fluttering closed and mouth going slack. He moans, louder than before, and it’s not for show this time. Not even a little bit. Fire licks up his spine, his dick giving a desperate twitch inside his sweats. Fuck, but that’s hot. It’s downright filthy, the way the wetness leaking from Chris’s dick feels on his clean-shaven cheeks. Makes him feel dirty and owned, helpless, desperate for it.

“Open up,” Chris tells him, tapping his cheek. “Stick out your tongue.”

Sebastian does, and then--  Chris puts his dick on it. Just rests it there, not moving. Like he has all the time in the world. Oh, god.

“Stay still.”

Sebastian tries – he tries so hard to keep still, to be good and wait until Chris tells him he can move, but his tongue seems to have a mind of its own, rubbing lightly along the underside of Chris’s cock. The action causes it to spurt out some precome, which drips down his throat, making Sebastian swallow involuntarily. If asked, he’d swear he doesn’t shut his mouth on purpose, but if his lips closing around Chris’s shaft happens to make Chris groan and push in deeper, then that’s just a happy side effect.

“Suck it.” Chris’s voice has gone all low and rough now – and the order should sound stupid, like something out of a bad porn flick, but then this whole thing is kind of like a bad porn flick. And while that would usually be a turn off, right now, it’s setting Sebastian on fucking fire.

“I said, suck it,” Chris repeats, when Sebastian doesn’t obey right away, and presses in deeper, a little rough with it.

Sebastian jolts into action, moaning feverishly as he starts to suck Chris off as if his life depends on it. He uses his left hand, his tongue, his lips, and choking a little when he takes Chris too deep in one go –

And then suddenly, he’s being pushed back again.

Sebastian whines.

“Easy, tiger,” Chris clucks, a little condescending despite his breathlessness. “I said suck it, not slobber all over it like some horny teen that’s never seen a dick before.”

The rejection stings, but it’s a good sting; one that makes the back of Sebastian’s neck burn hot and his dick strain almost painfully against the material of his pants.

“You know,” Chris continues, rubbing the tip of his cock over Sebastian’s slick lips, almost absent-mindedly. “If you can’t control yourself, I’m gonna have to do it for you.” Not waiting for a reply, Chris grabs the back of Sebastian’s sweater and uses it to hold him in place. The neck of it strains against Sebastian’s throat when he tries to lean forward, causing him to draw in a raspy breath. “Is that what you want?”

“Yes,” Sebastian whispers. He’s not sure if that’s the right answer, but it’s the honest answer, and the only one he’s got right now.

Chris shrugs. “Suit yourself.” Hooking his thumb over Sebastian’s bottom row of teeth, he pries his mouth open, forces his jaw down, and proceeds to feed his cock back into Sebastian’s mouth. And this time, he doesn’t stop until the head hits the back of his throat.

Despite having had a bit of practice, Sebastian’s gag reflex kicks in. He tries to swallows, and that makes Chris moan real pretty, so of course he does it again. Chris hips stutter and Sebastian’s eyelids flutter, and Chris pulls out before then sliding all the way back in again, over and over until Sebastian’s eyes start to water and his vision goes blurry.

When Chris tentatively thrusts in a little deeper still, a little rougher and less controlled, Sebastian lets out what is quite probably the most wanton sound he’s ever made.

“Ohh,” Chris muses, low and a little mean. “You like that, huh? Like it when you’re chokin’ on my dick? Yeah, ‘course you do, pretty little thing like you.”

Ho-ly-shit. They’re no strangers to a bit of dirty talk, but this… this feels different. It’s borderline degrading, what Chris is saying and doing, and Sebastian finds himself going wild for it.

Who knew.

Undoubtedly noticing Sebastian’s reaction, Chris does it again, pushing in deep and holding there until Sebastian starts to splutter. “Take it, all of it,” Chris orders, sounding almost unaffected. “Thought you wanted it, huh? C’mon, open wider. Yeah, that’s it.”

Feeling hot all over, Sebastian does his best to do what is asked of him. He opens his throat and relaxes as best he can, breathing harshly through his nose while he takes what Chris is giving him. He honestly might come in his pants any minute now, just from this. Chris’s cock is hard and heavy on his tongue, dripping down his throat, his familiar, musky scent everywhere, clouding Sebastian’s brain with screaming lust. One big hand rests heavy on Sebastian’s shoulder, fingers digging almost painfully into his trapezius muscle, and Sebastian’s knees hurt, and his jaw hurts, and he’s sore, and he’s gonna be even more sore later, but right now, he doesn’t care.

He feels good, amazing even. The only thing that’s missing now is seeing Chris fall apart. He wants Chris to come so badly, more so even than he wants to come himself, that he can feel it all the way down in his toes.

He doesn’t notice that his cheeks are wet until Chris brings up a hand to wipe at the tear tracks, meanwhile keeping up the relentless rhythm of his hips, steadily pumping in and out.

“Hey.”

Sebastian turns his eyes up, meeting Chris dark and heated gaze, misty through the tears. For a split second, Chris looks at him like himself, quickly cataloguing Sebastian’s condition, before seeming to decide they’re still on the same page. His eyes turn mean again, and Sebastian’s already racing heart skips a beat.

Chris coos then, a soft aaww which makes Sebastian feel equal parts cherished and pathetic. “Should see yourself, honey. Cryin’ and drooling all over my cock…” Chris thumbs at the corner of Sebastian’s mouth, wet with a mixture of spit and tears and Chris’s slick. “Jesus, you’re a mess.”

The words are condescending, but Chris’s voice sounds awed despite himself, and Sebastian is lit up with it from the inside out. He can tell Chris is getting close. Can hear it in his breathing, feel it from the way his thrusts get sloppier and rougher, dick occasionally slipping out and rubbing against Sebastian’s cheek before making its home in his eager mouth again.

“Oh, that’s it, baby,” Chris groans, fingers tightening impossibly on Sebastian’s shoulder. “Gonna make me come. Shit.”

Sebastian moans, letting Chris know how much he wants that, willing him to go faster.

Chris curses again, breathless now, heavy lidded eyes locked on Sebastian’s. “So close, f-fuck. Gonna come all over that pretty face, baby. Ahh, fuck yeah.”

Chris thrusts in deeply one last time, his mouth dropping open. Sebastian feels the first spurt of his release hit the back of his throat, before Chris hastily pulls out and lets the rest of it spill on Sebastian’s face. Come hits his cheeks, his nose, drips down into his mouth, warm and wet and Chris. It’s accompanied by an acute sense of accomplishment, making Sebastian feel boneless and sated, like he’s the one who just blew his load.

As if his strings have been cut, Chris slumps, sliding down the wall until he’s sitting on the floor. His eyes, still a little wild with the remnants of his ecstasy, roam over Sebastian’s face, wide like he can’t quite believe what he’s seeing.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” he breathes, grabbing Sebastian’s head between his hands and kissing him, deep and filthy. His tongue pushes in, hot and demanding, licking the taste of himself out of Sebastian’s slack mouth. The mustache is rough against Sebastian’s face. It stings a little, and Sebastian relishes it.

Abruptly, Chris breaks the kiss only to pull him closer, practically into his lap. Sebastian is mostly boneless at this point, except for the bit between his legs, so he lets himself be pulled and arranged like a ragdoll until he’s sandwiched between Chris’s spread thighs.

Chris’s hand fumbles with the drawstring on Sebastian’s sweats, sticking a hand down his pants. When his fingers wrap around his aching dick, Sebastian nearly sobs with relief. He hadn’t even realized how desperate for release he was, too focused on Chris’s pleasure to even register his own need, but now that Chris is touching him, finally touching him, the need to come slams into him like a freight train. The angle is awkward, and Sebastian has trouble breathing because his throat hurts and Chris is still trying to sucking his face off, but it doesn’t matter. He is so on edge that after only a few strokes, he cries out and shoots off all over Chris’s hand. He buries his face in Chris’s neck, mouth open and slack against the warm skin beneath Chris’s ear, while he rides out the aftershocks.

Christ, that was good.

An indeterminate amount of time later, Chris starts rubbing circles over Sebastian’s back. It’s a calming gesture, soothing. Apologetic. “You okay?” he asks quietly. “Did I hurt you?”

Sebastian takes stock of his body. He’s sore as hell, but it’s a good kind of sore. Nothing hurts, in the bad sense of the word. “I’m okay,” he slurs, only it comes out more like, “Mmmhfgk.”

“You sure?” Chris presses. “‘Cause I – I got a little carried away there. Fuck, I didn’t even check if that was okay, I’m sorry.”

Sebastian scoffs, lifting his head. If there’s one thing Sebastian is certain of, it’s that Chris would have stopped immediately if Sebastian had given even the slightest indication that he wasn’t having a good time. He fixes Chris with a hard look – or at least, as hard as he’s capable of in his post-orgasmic state. “Did I look like it wasn’t okay? That was so hot, Chris. It was like, maximum okay.”

Chris makes a sound, reaching up to wipe at Sebastian’s cheeks with his sleeve. “Jesus, Seb.” He still looks a little stunned, wide-eyed and red-cheeked. The mustache makes him look a little dumb, and Sebastian really does kind of love it.

He lifts a finger, gently stroking it over the bristly hairs.

“Thanks for making me feel better about this thing,” Chris says, his eyes back to being soft and loving now.

Sebastian shakes his head. “My pleasure, believe me. I mean, I’m a little concerned about myself, but I’m glad it stopped you worrying.”

“I wasn’t worried.”

“’Course not,” Sebastian replies, patting Chris’s chest.

They sit there for a moment, catching their breath and allowing their minds to unmuddle themselves.

Suddenly, Sebastian jolts upright. “Oh, shit.”

Chris is on instant alert, gaze sharpening as he takes Sebastian in from head to toe. “What is it?” he asks, obviously assuming Sebastian has suddenly discovered that Chris did hurt him after all. “What’s wrong?”

“Your beer.”

Chris blinks at him. “My beer?”

“It’s still in the freezer. It’s only supposed to be in there for like, fifteen minutes tops.”

Chris rolls his eyes. “Fuck the beer,” he says, pulling Sebastian back into his chest.

“But what if it explodes and ruins my freezer?”

“I’ll buy you a new freezer, jeez. Dork.”

“Hey,” Sebastian scolds mildly. “Don’t forget I’m the dork who just made you come your brains out.”

“Trust me,” Chris says, leaning in to kiss him again. “I’m not forgetting that any time soon.”

Read on AO3

[kemetic-dreams]

Why is it every move I make turns out to be a bad one? Where's my guardian angel? Need one, wish I had one I'm right here, shorty, and I'ma hold you down You trying to fuck all these bitches? I'ma show you how But who-? (Name's D, like you, but my friends call me Damien) And I'ma put you hip to something (uh-huh) about this game we in You and me could take it there, and you'll be The hottest nigga ever living (that's a given?) You'll see Hmm, that's what I've been wanting all my life Thinkin' about my little man, so I call my wife Well, your dada is about to make it happen (What you mean, my nigga?) I'm about to make it rapping Today I met this cat, he said his name was Damien He thinks that we're a lot alike and wants to be my friend (You mean like Chuckie?) Ha ha, yeah, just like Chuckie (Dada, looks like we both lucky) Yeah

The snake, the rat, the cat, the dog How you gon' see him if you living in the fog? The snake, the rat, the cat, the dog How you gon' see him if you living in the fog? The snake, the rat, the cat, the dog How you gon' see him if you living in the fog? The snake, the rat, the cat, the dog How you gon' see him if you living in the fog?

Ay-yo, D (What up, D?) You's a smooth nigga I seen you when nobody knew who pulled the trigger Yeah, you know, it's always over dough You sure? I could have swore it was over a hoe Nah, nah, that ain't my style (igga, you stay fronting) But you're still my man, and I ain't gonna say nothin' Got some weed? Go 'head, smoke it (what?) Go 'head, drink it (what?) Go 'head and fuck shorty, you know I can keep a secret (aight) I'm about to have you driving, probably a Benz But we gotta stay friends, blood out, blood in Sounds good to me, fuck it, what I got to lose? Hmm, nothin' I can think of, any nigga would choose Got me pushing the whips, takin' trips across seas Pockets stay laced, nigga, I floss Gs For that nigga I would bleed, give him my right hand Now that I think about it, yo, that's my man!

The snake, the rat, the cat, the dog How you gon' see him if you living in the fog? The snake, the rat, the cat, the dog How you gon' see him if you living in the fog? The snake, the rat, the cat, the dog How you gon' see him if you living in the fog? The snake, the rat, the cat, the dog How you gon' see him if you living in the fog?

You like how everything is going? You like what I gave ya? You know if you was going down, I'd be the one to save ya But yo, I need a favor, these cats across town hate me Plus their behavior hasn't been too good lately What? Anything for you, dog, where them niggas at? 38th from Broadway (aight, let me get the gat) Run up on 'em strapped, bust off caps in four niggas Laid low for 'bout a month then killed two more niggas Now I'm ready to chill, but you still want me to kill Look at what I did for you! Dog, come on, keep it real! Aight, fuck it, I'ma do it, who is it this time? Ayy-yo, remember that kid Sean you used to be with in '89? Nah, that's my man! (I thought I was your man?) But yo, that's my nigga (hey, who's your biggest fan?) Either do it or give me your right hand, that's what you said I see now, it ain't nothing but trouble ahead (uh-huh)

The snake, the rat, the cat, the dog How you gon' see him if you living in the fog? The snake, the rat, the cat, the dog How you gon' see him if you living in the fog? The snake, the rat, the cat, the dog How you gon' see him if you living in the fog? The snake, the rat, the cat, the dog How you gon' see him if you living in the fog?

In the fog, the fog, living in the fog How you gon' see him if you living in the fog? How you gon' see him if you living in the fog? The snake, the rat, the cat, the dog To be continued, motherfuckers Ah-hahahahaha

[mermaidsirennikita]

Any recs where the hero is a literal trash monster? Kinda like Seb from IHOA where he he’s telling Lillian she’d like it when they slept together. You’re both yelling “shut up” and “go on” at the book when this asshole comes in?

I love a villain hero! I think of villain heroes on a sliding scale:

1/5--villain in name only. Can be motivated by a confusion

2/5--a dick, but would/can he actually do it? (Sebastian)

3/5--total asshole, can do it, isn't especially morally bothered, but isn't super MALEVOLENT by nature and can be reasoned with, may be reformed in the end

4/5--a reeeeeal problem, dangerous, amoral, may have loved ones but will probably end on a "he's like... not redeemed.... and doesn't really think he needs to change.... but he'll slow down for his lover" note; he still is cool with wanting the world to burn, but if his love wants otherwise, he'll chill.... not redeemed but CHILLED

5/5--usually violent to the love interest as well, a specific kind of dark romance protagonist wherein you're looking for a bit of torture (metaphorically and literally)

Historical:

Tempt Me at Twilight by Lisa Kleypas--Harry is a 3/5. He's not like, MUAHAHAHAHA cackle, he just doesn't have any scruples about getting what he wants, he doesn't need Poppy to love him, he just needs her to belong to him. He's super effective, but there is something sweet within deep down. I consider Harry worse than Sebastian because Sebastian is incapable of actually getting anything done.

Shadowheart by Laura Kinsale--Allegreto is probably a 4/5 or 4.5/5. I mean, as I've said often.... His first encounter with Elena is non-consensual. I wouldn't say it's like, especially unusual for Kinsale; because she writes people with more accurate perspectives on morality, and Allegreto acts much like a lot of men from the 1300s would. Tbh, though, the big thing is that while he does believe he's going to Hell, he's also not gonna stop being a murderer and master manipulator. And like, he's been iNSANE since he was a teenager, because you see him as a teenager in For My Lady's Heart and that boy... ain't right.

The Madness of Viscount Atherbourne by Elisa Braden--A weak 2/5. Like, he is a dick and he does trap his heroine into marriage and I do find him hot and entertaining. But how bad IS he when you consider everything he thinks he knows? Like, shouldn't bring an innocent woman into this shit! Shouldn't! But he does THINK he has good reasons lol.

The Prince of Broadway by Joanna Shupe--Clay is a 2.5/5, imo. He's much more competent than Sebastian, and much more systematic in his villainous deeds. But he does have, in my opinion, some pretty solid emotional motivations. He's also extremely sexy and runs a casino and jacks off while Florence fingers herself in the same room. I love him.

Duke of Sin by Elizabeth Hoyt--Valentine is like... another 4.5/5, in my opinion. Mostly because he's like. Not abusive to Bridget--but he's also not loving in a NORMAL way, lol. And he does some pretty despicable shit. And some shit that's less despicable but very violent. And some shit that isn't really violent or despicable but is SUPER WEIRD AND CREEPy. Yet he also wears lace and dashes about in pink and/or purple robes with his dick flopping around. We love it!

Imo, a lot of people think Sebastian is going to be like Valentine when they begin Devil in Winter, and are disappointed. And a lot of people think Valentine is going to be like Sebastian when they begin Duke of Sin, and they're liken "OH SHIT" because while Valentine has not like... raped anyone... that we know of.... He has kidnapped SEVERAL women lmao. Like Sebastian did it once and went "mmm I went a bit far there" whereas Valentine was all "BACK TO THE WELL" with the kidnapping.

A Rogue by Any Other Name by Sarah MacLean--Bourne is a 1.5/5. He's a total asshole to Penelope in the beginning of this book, and he does behave like a general trash dude for the first half or so. Giving her her first orgasm from another person and then going "MUAHAHAHA YOU FELL INTO MY HANDS" right after (honestly probs pretty traumatic for her), forcing her to marry him, flaunting the fact that they fucked to his dad. He is good at his plot. But he also slows his roll fairly quickly and does have a very understandable tragic backstory.

Daring and the Duke by Sarah MacLean--Mmmm. Somewhere around Clay Madden here. Ewan would. Ewan DID. But Ewan again has a very solid backstory, and he is very sexy and obsessed with his heroine (would recommend reading the other Bareknuckle Bastards books before his for full effect--they're also just good, but Ewan finding out Grace is alive after thinking she's been dead for years and going APESHIT is so good), which makes for a solid villainous hero.

The Dragon and The Pearl by Jeannie Lin--Li Tao is a very good 3/5. He's a literal warlord and is super good at it. He terrorized his former fiancee (heroine of the previous book) and her family. He begins this book by kidnapping his heroine (classic). But again, solid backstory, and while he'll never pull his punches he's also not at all sadistic. It's business, he just happens to be good at slaughter.

Contemporary(ish):

Mafia Madman by Mila Finelli--Enzo D'Agostino is a strong 4/5, nearing 4.5/5. You meet him in the previous books and he literally calls the previous a heroine a slut (in Italian, so in his defense she wasn't supposed to understand GOD), then kidnaps her to get at her lover (he didn't know she was pregnant??? not his fault) and puts a gun in her mouth. Then, after much torture and four years in hiding, he kidnaps her sister, puts her in a cage naked, and falls in love with her! I love a garbage man! He gives her iPads and enjoys her SPIRIT, okay??? He does sex really good! He ADORES her (and he loves his kids). He just has no desire to be a better person otherwise lol.

Paranormal:

Dreams of a Dark Warrior by Kresley Cole--Declan Chase is like... an interesting and extremely hardcore 3/5 to me, because he does do shit that's way gnarlier than most of the dudes in other books (on Fated Mates they called him Mr. Vivisection... for a reason) but he's basically a highly effective brainwashed weapon. If you like a Bucky Barnes but wanna dial it up to 11 and throw in a heroin addiction? IT'S DC! He's a super dangerous, super brainwashed, incredibly traumatized man (who for the record isn't on heroin anymore... but is kept on a leash by his owners through legal~ substances) who doesn't realize that part of why he was miserable growing up, part of why he felt dead inside and GOT ON DRUGS to feel alive, is because he's a reincarnated berserker who has been desperately, subconsciously searching for his mate, who is immortal and has been avoiding him because whenever she kisses him he ends up dying in his past lives. And now his mission and drive is to kill immortals! And he has her captive! And she's a snarky immature warrior woman who gives him so much shit and makes him feel alive for the first time ever!

Anyway, Declan Chase crosses the line like 72 times but he's an amazingly compelling hero.

Lothaire by Kresley Cole--Like... a hard 4.5/5. Lothaire is the Enemy of Old; he's like one of the main dudes on the Bad Side; he collects favors from other beings, including other heroes and heroines lol, and everyone sits there like "Lothaire is going to ask for my firstborn, oh no!!!"; he puts his heroine in death row for FIVE YEARS "for safekeeping" and then picks her up five years later because she willingly accepts her sentence, and by picks her up I mean he tears through dozens of people while she sits there quaking, shows up covered in gore, and is like "WOW. WOW. CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS WEEK!!!"

He's crazy (literally)! He's funny (sends a wraith off screaming by looking at her and remembering that he fucked her "when she was pretty")! He is completely bowled over by a woman he has no desire to love and then has to pay up in a bIG way! He calls trailers "conveyances" and talks about cock-slapping gnomes!

There's never been a hero I was more excited to read, and he completely lived up to expectations. Lothaire does not REFORM, but he does go "alright dude whatever keeps her alive and happy, I guess I'm on that side". That's how you do a villain. (And Baldur's Gate 3 fans--I have it on good authority that if you like that vampire guy, you should read this vampire guy.)