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landoslvr · 8 months ago

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MRS CLARKEY | g. clarke

summary: a scroll through your internet presence as 'mrs clarkey'. [social media AU.]

pairing: fem!reader x george clarke

faceclaim: steph hui

notes: first piece for mrs george out of the wag universe. steph is gonna be the main fc I use for mrs clarkey, hopefully you like it! this is the longest one I've done so far.. definitely want to do a fic for their first meeting and for the useless hotline podcast- maybe even the ski trip!

liked by user, user and 37,923 others

yourinstagram happy halloween 💋💋

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user you're literally so hot y/n

user I want to be you so bad

user how can I look like that

user jeez u flexible or something baby?

user the dress? the hair? the makeup??? unreal

yourinstagram thank you!! I did it myself xxx

user shes godly

user have fun tonight!!

user she's the only girl I know to have an impromptu photoshoot and then go out drinking

yourinstagram gotta take the outfit for a spin!!!

liked by chrismd10, arthurtv and 58,283 others

georgeclarkeey you should've seen the other guy!

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user george wth

user its the vomit on the cheerleading outfit for me

chrismd10 looking good mate

wroetoshaw nice eyebrow....... eyebrow singular

georgeclarkeey yes I got that thank you

user AS IF Y/N FOUND HIM ON HER NIGHT OUT

user I KNOW!! I came from her tweets after everyone tagging this guy

chrismd10 you getting referred to as 'this guy' on your own post is so funny to me

georgeclarkeey well, you're huge aren't you?

imallexx loving the new look mate

user waiting for y/n to join the comments 🫣

user me too 😶😶

yourinstagram its great to know what you look like with both of your eyebrows george! a pleasure to have met you, despite the circumstances...

georgeclarkeey my left eyebrow was too intimidated by seeing betty boop in the flesh it ran away!

user my heart 😭

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yourinstagram went on the useless hotline podcast this week to talk about me saving the george clarke! thank you very much for having me boys 🤍

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user she's just so pretty

user as if model queen y/n saved youtuber george clarke 😭 not over that at all

georgeclarkeey always a pleasure, you're welcome back anytime you feel like scraping me off of the pavement

yourinstagram anytime you need me, I'll be there to call the ambulance

user LOVE that coat

georgeclarkeey also feeling something.. or someone.. is missing from this post?

yourinstagram idk what you want from me here clarke

max_balegde ahhhhhh!!!!!! such a pleasure to meet the woman that singlehandedly saved my co-host from death <3 thanks so much for coming on, martini besties for life now

yourinstagram call me anytime you need multiple olives!!!

max_balegde three olives, extra dry!!

user stop I hope they all stay friends 😭

liked by georgeclarkeey, chrismd10 and 39,219 others

yourinstagram casual 'saved your life/face' dinner post

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user nahhhhhhhhh because this is a date

user y/n looks so good 😭😭

user lets not ignore George Clarke wearing something other than a t-shirt

chrismd10 impressed you managed to get him in slacks!

georgeclarkeey your mum brought them for me

user THAT DRESS

user I just wanna be you y/n

user George has major cake its not funny

max_balegde literally should be criminal

georgeclarkeey you saved my life I am eternally grateful

yourinstagram 👽👽👽

liked by georgeclarkeey, chrismd10 and 40,938 others

yourinstagram visiting the mountain tops with some new friends x

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user bitch we know that's george clarkey, fess up

max_balegde the love of my life really tbh, you look sooooo good

yourinstagram max I'll cry

user drop the link for the jackets!!

user that is george clarke's watch missy

user so you just so happen to be on a ski trip at the same time at george and his friends?????????? coincidence? I think NOT

user I know george is using ever fibre of his being not to comment on this right now

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georgeclarkeey there's 'snow' way it's this cold in the mountains

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user Y/N TAKE OF THE SKI MASK COWARD

user we literally know it's her

chrismd10 handsome fellas

user literally just tell us you're dating guys

wroetoshaw high altitude my friend

user love these pics of the boys together

arthurtv distinguished skiers and snowboarders

charliehutchens really good ones too

user do you think y/n had to throw her phone out of her hotel room to stop herself from commenting?

user yes, yes I do

liked by georgeclarkeey, wroetoshaw and 37,981 others

yourinstagram out and about ✈️🗺️

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user should we tell y/n that she posted a picture of George in the 4th slide and then proceeded to cut his head out of the 6th one????

user let her live in peace I guess

user wow no one is immune to stupidity these days 😭

user can't believe they took her so young

georgeclarkeey you're not getting that poster back

yourinstagram if you dont return my harry styles poster I will sue

georgeclarkeey I live with a lawyer, so good luck with that darling

user DARLING???? LITERALLY JUST PUNCH ME IN THE FACE NEXT TIME GEORGE

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georgeclarkeey chris informed us that you all know we're dating so no more discreet photo dumps I guess?

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user WAR IS OVERRRRRR

user quick everyone act like we didn't see this shit coming

user the way he tried to do her dirty in the last 3 pics but he literally can't

user she's just so pretty

user I wanna be her

max_balegde mrs clarkey!!!!!!

yourinstagram !!!!!

chrismd10 you're so welcome mate

user she's so gorgeous

user kills me

user george x y/n girlies won today

yourinstagram 🤍🤍🤍 love you big stupid idiot 🤍🤍🤍 once I posted the invisalign it was over..

georgeclarkeey guys gotta eat

liked by georgeclarkeey, arthurfhill and 43,938 others

yourinstagram casual 'I can finally post my boyfriend' post!!!!

view all 493 comments

user guys I love today

user this makes me so happy

chrismd10 the power of drunken lime bike rides!

yourinstagram thank you lime bikes

user the alien picture kills me

max_balegde can't wait to have you back on the pod as mrs clarkey

yourinstagram a promotion, for me???

user george is so cute, I envy y/n!

arthurtv it's about time tbh

user I've been waiting for this one

georgeclarkeey was worth losing half of an eyebrow I guess

yourinstagram maybe the eyebrows were the friends we made along the way?

#george clarkey x reader #george clarke x reader #george clarke #george clarkey imagine #george clarke imagine #george clarkey #cel's social media aus #mrs clarkey

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mismatched-sockss · 8 months ago

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Where I never dared to stand

» Pairing: purely Spencer Reid x fem!Reader [NO JEID whatsoever] » Wordcount: 4k » Warnings: JJ's POV (3rd person), based on Where I Stood by Missy Higgins, we're staying within the realms of canon with this one - this focuses on JJ's feelings and my own interpretations regarding those, spoilers mentioned for s12!Spencer and 13×01 300, heavy spoilers for 14×15 Truth or Dare, kind of for 15×02 Awakenings too (i used a part of the conversation between JJ and Reid about what happend in 14×15), reader is Garcia's college roommate & friend, no time line mentioned but first meeting of Spencer and Reader is said to happen somewhere after JJ married Will to mid s10 (so somewhere from s8×01 to about s10×12, reader and Spencer are together when s10×13 happens), no mentions of Maeve only a vague mention that the last years have been rough for Spencer), » A/N: multiple mentions about reader being a woman / female, use of she/her pronouns, no body description, no mentions of readers clothes --- pls take a look here for more info about my reader descriptions in general » IMPORTANT!!!: i just want to say that i hated the way the writers where forcing the climax of 14×15 through out the whole s14 both on the characters and us, and i hated just about everything about the whole thing in general tbh, (after making Will such a big part of JJ's life JEID was over and done with, i never liked them as a ship in general; just wait until i'll unleash my hate for JJ in the future (hate only regarding the way she is treating Spencer, otherwise i like her for the most part)).... the only reason this fic happened in the way it is, is because i lost track of my initial plan when i got inspiration from the song, but then i kind of got carried away while writing; i tried to capture and bring out JJ's inner conflicts, the guilt she feels about all of it etc

⚶ masterlist ⚶

Jennifer Jareau liked you from the moment she saw you, no doubt about it. There was something about you, that uplifted the whole room you were in; it was hard to not be in a good mood when you were around.

Penelope had brought you along for a girl's night one evening. You had been her dorm room-mate in college and fate brought you back into each other's lives, when it just so happened that you moved into the same building she was living in. From then on, you joined them for girl's night on most occasions and it was just a matter of time until Penelope invited you to a party where not only the girls would be attending, but also the rest of the BAU team. It so happened to be Penelope's birthday party.

Everyone could see the sparks fly when Spencer and you met each other then. One look at the both of you was enough to see it; that this was a once in a life time, soulmate kind of thing. The kind of love you could only find in movies or books, the stuff all the cheesy romance movies JJ liked to watch were made of.

Something had stirred in her heart when she saw the two of you interact at Penelope's birthday party; a small ache, something she couldn't quite place at the time. So without further thinking about it, she brushed it away, forgetting all about it in the following days. That is, until the next time she saw the two of you. Together.

It was at one of Rossi's dinner parties not too long after Spencer and you met. Everyone was already accounted for in Rossi's backyard, except for Spencer. The doorbell rang and Rossi went to open the door; when he got back a big smile was plastered on his face and he was wiggling his brows suggestively. After him, Spencer walked in. With you. Holding hands.

Then and there the ache found it's way back into her heart, a little more persistent then the last time. This time she knew in an instant what it had been.

Jealousy. She couldn't stand your hands on him.

At the realization she had felt dizzy. Had it been any later in the evening she probably could have blamed the dizziness on the wine. But the glass she held in her hand was her first and she had barely nipped on it. No, it was because she was jealous, and the guilt she felt at the same time collided with it and mixed into an even bigger ugly thing that almost swept her off her feet.

Here she was, standing next to her husband and the father of her child, feeling jealous over another woman holding hands with her friend; a friend who she knew once had a thing for her, a friend who she may have had a thing for herself at one point but never even had went on a date with - actively avoided it even, if you thought about it. A friend, who she shouldn't have any feelings for that would call for her to be jealous when he got romantically involved with someone else.

A friend, she instead should be nothing less than happy for, after all the shit he had to go through in his life. She should be happy, that he finally had something good in his life, something that made him smile, something that made him happy. All she wanted was for him to be happy.

Will had commented that Spencer and you looked good together, that you made a cute couple. No matter who much that jealous part of her hated it, she had to agree.

That night at Rossi's she drank a couple more glasses of wine to flush out her confusing emotions than she maybe should have. When someone said something, she successfully played it off as being able to let go for an evening since her mother was watching Henry for the whole weekend. Luckily Will was okay with it, and even was pampering her the next day when she had a bad case of hangover.

After a short time, when JJ had sorted out her feelings, she really was happy for Spencer. So incredibly happy for him; that he had found his person. His safe haven. His forever.

And everyone could see it. That the two of you were perfect for each other.

She didn't think she had seen him this happy since... Ever, actually. Life had never been exactly easy on Spencer, but the last years had been especially rough for him. You were his rock when Gideon died, were there for him when his mom got worse and additionally stayed with her when he had to leave for a case after he took her in – oh, how much Diana loved you. You were the only person except for Spencer who she would let come close when she had an episode and was chasing the nurses away he hired. After he had been arrested in Mexico you as good as moved into his place to help (the nurse with) Diana. Whenever JJ came to visit her with the boys, she was amazed by the way you cared for Diana, so patient and understanding and affectionate, and how she would let you take care of her.

When Spencer had to go on mandatory leave after prison and the whole shit-show with Cat, JJ watched as you broke down the walls he had build around his heart in those three months he was locked away. She watched as you crumbled them down until you reached him again and then you gave him a new ground to build on, a ground back in safety and trust and love.

You broke his walls down, like JJ would never have been able to. Sometimes she wasn't sure if she could stand the fact, she just knew she should.

Back then, all those years ago when Spencer had sat down next to her on the jet with the Red Skin's tickets in his hand and asked her to go, she was scared. She knew that now, had realized it when Spencer and Penelope had been abducted by Meadows and the Messiah, when Emily spoke with her in the restroom and JJ was going crazy with worry about her best friends. Before, it had never really clicked for her, that maybe that was why she had invited Penelope to come with them to the game. Because a little voice in the back of her head had been whispering to her telling her to run, to turn away from him. She was scared of what could be, of what others might say and think.

Scared of hurting Spencer.

Deep down, she knew even back then, that she wasn't right for him.

And then, a year later, she met Will and the more serious their relationship got, the more any feelings for Spencer became platonic in nature. And it was good the way it was: working with each other, being friends. Maybe even something like best friends. It was enough.

She was happy with Will. She loved Will. She couldn't imagine life without him. The what if's and could have been's about Spencer hadn't been on JJ's mind in a very, very long time. Never really gone if she had to be honest, but not at the forefront of her thoughts all the same.

And since being honest was the keyword for today, here in this jewellery store forced with a gun pointing at her and Spencer and the other hostage, a rapid back and forth that could spiral more out of control with every passing second, the Truth she had to admit today, could change everything she had in her life.

"Truth." JJ swallowed after she said it and bit on the insides of her cheeks. Stand strong, show no fear; that was what she repeated in her head again and again, trying to fight of the raging panic that kept rising up in her chest ever since the guy had fired a warning shot in Spencer's direction just a moment ago.

"I want you to say something, you're afraid to say", the Unsub spat through gritted teeth. Saliva was pooling at the corners of his lips and the hand he was holding the gun in was shaking uncontrollably, “That you'd never tell anybody. And you better make it good!” He didn't take a step closer, he only shifted his weight from one foot to the other, but with the way he accentuated every word he was screaming with a movement of his hand, she felt like he was coming closer. Like he was placing the barrel of the gun closer to her body with every twitch, until he'd be able to press it right onto her sternum. “'Cause if it's not, it's gonna be the last thing you ever say!”

Her nostrils flared as she took a slow breath in, trying to calm her nerves enough to find an answer and to give him the answer without a waver in her voice.

“What's it gonna be?” This time when he shifted his weight, he did take a small step closer to her.

By the way her nose was aching and her eyes were burning she knew it would only be a matter of moments until the tears would fall. She blinked to keep the tears away a bit longer and avoiding eye contact with the Unsub, only looking at him for a second. When she answered, she cursed herself for how shaky her voice was. “There are only four people it trust in this world.”

“Boring”, he commented in a weird sing-sang before he pointed the weapon down and shot the Judge in the leg. The gun was immediately pointed back at JJ. “Next!”

The gunshot had drowned out the whimper she hadn't been able to hold back. And when the deadly attention was back on her, she immediately went back in to position - stand strong, show no fear. The second part almost wasn't manageable any more for her. “Uhm”, she let out, again racking her brain for an answer, something the would finally accept. What could she say? What was she willing to say?

“My, uhm.” The pained whimpers of the woman in front of her as she slowly slid down the cabinet distracted her, she wasn't sure if she was welcoming the distraction or not. JJ felt bad for even remotely feeling thankful that the woman was in pain. “My baby, I lost, I um-”, she looked around, first meeting the Unsubs gaze, then at a random point at the wall and back to him. The emotions bubbling up in her almost choked her and she had to clear her throat. She didn't want to tell him this, but she had to. “- wanted to name her Maggie.”

“BULL!”, he screamed and JJ jumped. “Come on, you can do better than that!” Again, waving the gun, closer and closer.

Spencer tried to get his attention and pull it away from her, calling out the Unsub's name. “Casey...!”

Now the gun was pointed at Spencers head. “SHUT UP!” And again with the uncontrolled waving and twitching. JJ felt like she couldn't breathe.

She jumped again when Casey suddenly was right in front of her, forcefully grabbing into the hair at the back of her head, pushing her down to her knees with the tight grip and possibly even pulling some strands out. “Okay, okay..”, she mumbled, whimpered. What could she say?

“Last chance! Something you'd never say aloud. Not even to your partner here.” For a moment he waved his gun at Spencer again. “Your deepest, darkest secret. Impress me, or I'll kill him.”

It was the first thing that came to her mind when the Unsub demanded this, and threatened Spencer's life. It was the only thing that fought its way through the panic. The panic that had clouded her mind for anything else but the need for survival. Hers. Spencers.

She couldn't hold back her tears any more. In a desperate attempt to catch Spencer's gaze, she darted her eyes to his direction. At the same time the guilt that was already coming over her and trying to pull her down, before she even said one word and it made her look away from him.

“COME ON!”

So she said it. Hoping, it would be enough to save their lives. Hoping, her fear of losing her best friend would stay just that. A fear. Hoping, that they would walk out of here alive and that nothing would change between them. That even after saying what she was about to say, they could go on like before, that they would be okay. Selfish as it was, JJ couldn't lose him. She just didn't know who she was without Spencer in her life. Her best friend, her confidant. Her fi-... She knew she should know it, that it made no sense to feel like this. But she couldn't help needing him.

With a shy look on her face, she turned to her friend, took a deep breath.

"Spence, uhm,” she started, shooting him a pained smile to ease his nerves and her own. And he looked at her, waiting for her to continue, with a sad but still vary and concentrated shimmer in his eyes. He was sitting weidly stiff and there was ovment in his shoulders but she wasn't able to focus on anything else than his face.

Or not, because JJ had to look away. She didn't think she could say this while directly looking at him. This was just too...

“I've always loved you", she admits, helplessly shrugging her shoulder as she said it. You meant more to me than anyone I loved before you, before Will.

It took Spencer a moment to understand, what she is saying. How she meant those three words, that they had said a lot of times to each other over the years, in a platonic way.

His eyes slightly widened when the words sink in. The true meaning behind them.

“And I wasjusttooscaredtosay it before.” Her words came out in a blur, almost undistinguishable. She exhaled and looked away, shook the hair out of her face with a quick motion of her head. And as she tried to bite back her tears,she scoffed. “And now, things are just”, the sob leaving her throat almost sounded like a laugh, “far too complicated to say it now.” I am married and have kids, my kids are your godsons. You have a girlfriend, the love of your life waiting for you at home. These are the things she didn't say, didn't need to say. Didn't want to say in front of everyone else in the room.

Maybe she did laugh. The situation was so absurd, so surreal. It almost didn't feel real if there wouldn't be this gun pointed at her.

With tears running down her face she forced herself to look at Spencer. “I'm sorry”, she breathed out. “But you should know.” In case I die here. In case you die here. I had to let you know.

He didn't give away what he was thinking or feeling, had closed off the expressions on his face after the initial shock. The whisper of a sad smile stretched his lips as an acknowledgement when she stopped talking.

The giggle the Unsub let out, made the bile rise into JJ's throat.

“Hot damn”, he laughed, switching between looking at her and Spencer. “That's what I'm talking about.”

Neither of them looked up at the man standing over them, caught in a silent conversation. Did I just destroy everything? - Don't worry. At least that was what she hoped he was saying with his eyes.

“Now those are some last words right there.” Could this guy please, please, please just stop waving the god damn gun around!?

For the fracture of a second, everything fell from JJ's shoulders. The guilt, the sorrow, the fear. She did it, her confessions had been enough. Worthy of saving them. Just when the muscles in her body relaxed, the gun was pointed back right in to her face, mere inches away. “But not good enough to safe your life!” Spit landed on her face.

JJ readied herself, even with the immense fear shooting through her whole body so harsh her body felt numb. The hole of the barrel drew her eyes to it, hypnotized her. For some reason, she started a countdown in her head.

Three, two – BANG!

Casey's legs gave out and he grunted as his weapon fell out of his hand and he helds his stomach. Then, he collapsed, his dead-weight body falling into the space between her and Spencer. Her brain had problems catching up after already checking out, after making some kind of peace with her immediate death.

She looked from the dead body, to Spencer and the gun in his hand, too stunned to ask or think about how he had managed to free his hands and where the gun came from.

They didn't speak a word to each other after their team burst in, there neither had been the time nor a fitting occasion to talk. They didn't speak until some time later in the evening, after the team made it back, just in time to get cleaned up and celebrate David's & Krystall's marriage.

When they finally shared some words when they both headed to the bar to get something to drink, they didn't talk long.

JJ was nervous. A whole lot of new what if's regarding Spencer were now on her mind. What if he hates me now? What if he wants nothing to do with me any more? What if he leaves me? She hated herself for being so selfish when the last one crossed her mind. She had been prepared to take this secret with her to her grave. But she had needed to say some thing real, something that would not only get the Unsubs attention, but also Spencers. Only then could she have made sure to get a chance at getting them out of there. She was sorry for spilling her secret, for doing this to him and burdening him with it. But now it was out an she couldn't take it back.

“So I, uh, I didn't get a chance to... say it back there, but...”, she started before saying anything else about her confession, having to start the conversation at least somewhere. “Thank you... for saving my life.” She smiled at him.

“You're welcome.” He nodded his head, a small smile stretching in his lips as well. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” She laughed nervously. “So uh, Luke was right, two guns, huh? Since when have you been wearing an ankle holster?”

“Around the time I got out of prison”, Spencer smirked.

“Right.” JJ nodded, then quickly looked away, internally working herself up to get the next words out, the ones she so desperately wanted to ask him. “Look, uh, I... Are- are we, okay?” That was all she could hope for at this point. It was all she wanted. That they were okay.

He smiled at her reassuringly and nodded. “Of course.” His smile and the soft tone his voice held eased her nerves instantly.

She held back a sigh of relief and smiled. “Good.”

They fell silent as they wait, Spencer for his water and JJ for a glass of wine. She softly drummed the tips of her finger on the wood, before she turned around to find where you were standing. When your name fell from her lips Spencers eyes darted to you, not even having to search the room. Like a magnetic pull, something that just came natural to him, knowing where to find you. “She looks beautiful tonight.”

Spencer silently nods as his eyes roam your body, how the fabric of your outfit hugged itself around you. “Yeah”, he breathes out, almost inaudibly. “She is.”

The glass clinking as the drinks were served caught her attention and she turned to take hers into her hand. With her free hand she touched Spencers arm and squeezed lightly. Their gazes met and they shared a smile before she walked away.

Just when JJ got back to the table the music changed into a soft and slow tune. Will took the glass form her hand and pulled her away to dance with her. Happy, she leaned into him, and enjoyed the moment. Enjoyed being in his arms.

She couldn't help but look as Spencer and you found your way to other side of the dance floor. He pulled you so close to him, not even a sheet of paper would have had space between the both of you. He was smiling down at you as you were slowly swaying to the rhythm of the music together and you were smiling up at him just as bright. Lost in each others eyes. Every so often he would lift your intertwined hands from his chest up to plant a kiss to your knuckles, or he would brush the tip of his nose against yours before he stole a quick kiss from your lips. Not for one second losing the bright smile, that all but screamed that he was drunk on love.

Spencer was JJ's first love, and the first love is something special, something you can't just erase out of your heart as if it never had made it's home in there in the first place. He was a big piece of her heart and would always be. But she had never even dared to try and stand where you were standing now. By his side; as his partner, his equal. His other half. His forever.

Even if she wouldn't have Will and her two beautiful boys - and don't get me wrong, she wouldn't trade her life with her family for the world-, the way the two of you were clinging to each other right now, looking like you were deeply sunken into your own little universe where no one else existed; and so full of bliss and love for each other... There was no way she would destroy this, no way she would break you two apart.

There was nothing in the world that could break Spencer and you apart.

JJ couldn't hear what you were whispering about, she could only guess by the way you looked at each other and giggled occasionally. The longer you danced it seemed like you were melting into each other, merging your bodies and souls together to form one.

Emily's speech from earlier ringed in her ears then. Penelope says, that this was fate. That [their marriage] was in the stars. [They] are twin flames. Two souls, that are always meant to be together. […] The thing about twin flames is, that nothing can keep them apart.

It was similar to something she had heard Spencer himself say once: "There's an old Buddhist saying, that, when you meet your soulmate, […] the act to bring you together was 500 years in the making." She thought both descriptions were fitting for what you and Spencer had.

As she let her eyes linger on your swaying forms, she suddenly felt like she was intruding something personal and intimate, so she averted her gaze and turned her head away. She rested her cheek against her husbands chest as she faced the other way and closed her eyes. JJ hugged Will closer and as his own hold on her tightened he rested his chin on the crown of her head.

It wasn't fair that she loved Spencer. Because she loved Will and her two boys too. Her family had made her who she was. But so had Spencer.

It wasn't fair to anyone involved.

She had never meant to hurt him, never. She just wanted him to be happy. And you made him happy.

No matter who much she loves Spencer now, had loved him before and would continue to love him, she could never love him as much as you did; the woman who stood where JJ never even had dared to stand.,

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #ghosts can write #💜 s.r.#--- mismatched🧦

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vypridae · 7 months ago

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That last ask made me think of all the overlords being little shits to each other, on occasion lol. So just imagine Velvette gets back at them for laughing at her at the next meeting

And despite two of the overlords being cannibals, one of them even going though the Great Depression

One of them who parties so much she’s seen more high and drunk than sober

Half of them being from shitty centuries where they ate whatever they could

Even one dude being a fucking tv and half metal

Absolutely NOTHING could have prepared them for BatteryAcid™️

They all take one sip and they’re immediately coughing on the ground like a small Victorian child who just ate a singular Takis. Vox blue screens and shuts down for a good minute. Even fucking Zestial forgets to speak in old English

Missi is the only one who takes another sip cause she ain’t a pussy

Velvette’s gen Z ass is the only one who’s fine, probably drinks that shit whenever she’s pulling an all nighter

OH MY GODDDD UR SO RIGHT UR SO RIGHT OH MY GOD, alastor's voice loses the radio effect and he accidentally blurts out "what the FUCK did you just have me drink!!", rosie is practically choking, carmilla spit it out immediately... missi being the only one that takes another sip is so real tbh. val probably says every curse word in spanish until he inevitably gets curious again and takes another sip only to do the exact same thing . velvette recorded the whole thing because it was SO funny and she would have posted it if wasnt the type of thing that would make every single overlord go after her (definitely uses it as blackmail tho)

#xanbox #hazbin hotel #velvette #vox #valentino #the vees #zestial #alastor #rosie #missi zilla #carmilla carmine #hazbin overlords

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hobgoblinns · 1 year ago

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you can put the word fuck once in every season of nuwho. Where is it going?

what a great question!

s1: i wanted to choose something funny, but i think nine screaming FUCKING KILL YOURSELF at that dalek would go hard af. but also…… nine and rose have the kind of relationship where i’m sure she’d jokingly say “oh fuck you” every time the doctor takes a cheap shot at humans

s2: i already posted tonight about wanting ten to be allowed to say “fuck you, mickey” (specifically in rise of the cybermen when mickey gets mad at him for favouring rose). but right now i kind of love the image of rose in doomsday throwing herself at that wall and screaming FUCK!!!!!!

s3: the tensimm fan in me wants to replace “are you asking me out on a date?” with “are you trying to fuck?”. but i think it would be more gratifying if, in the same episode, we got to see martha say “fuck you, i’ll do what i like” to the doctor when he tells her not to call home

s4: this is DONNA we’re talking about. you expect me to choose just one? well. alright. “i was asleep, in my clothes, like a fucking kid!”. imagine how much it would hurt if all this time she’s been censoring herself and then, with her memory wiped, she’s suddenly back to cussing the hell out of everyone she meets

2009/2010 specials (yes im cheating shhh): in the end of time: “i had fucking estates”.

s5: river: ooh, i’m going to be a professor someday? doctor: (softly) fuuuuuuuck….

s6: instead of that amazing “the doctor is very dear to me. but you know what else he is? not here” speech that amy gives, she should just say “fuck you madame kovarian” and murder her in cold blood. genuinely like, amy was exhibiting insane restraint for a mother who’d had her child taken from her.

s7: “i didn’t know when i was well off. all fucking twelve of them.” “no sir — all fucking thirteen!”

s8: again, this is TWELVE. almost every line feels like a pg malcolm tucker. but i’m going to go with dark water’s “can you hurry up please or i’m going to hit you with my fucking shoe”

s9: easiest one yet: “get up, off your fucking arse, and win”.

s10: missy and the master: “hold me�� “fuck me” “make me” (this scene made me queasy but those two are horribly fucked up and would 100% say this)

s11: i have only seen this season in snippets but i think someone in ‘rosa’ has got to tell a racist to go fuck themselves

s12: during the master’s whole pathetic “wahhh kneel call me master” spiel i think the doctor should have just told him to fuck off. when i saw that scene i was yelling at the screen for him to fuck off so i think she should be allowed to tell him to as well. or maybe spray him with a water pistol like a bad cat

s13: for some reason the first thing that comes to mind is evil dan but tbh he doesn’t need to say fuck. he’s already powerful enough. instead in that opening scene when thirteen is trying to get the voice activated handcuffs to open: “RELEASE!!! oh, maybe i was scottish when i set them up…….. fucking RRRRRELEASE!!!!!!!!”

s13 specials (cheating again shh): tegan: and yes, i WOULD like to go in the fucking tardis!!! (alternatively: “i know these teeth… what… WHAT… WHAT THE FUCK????”)

#this was so much fun thank you anon #please send any and all doctor who asks my way #doctor who #hob.txt #ask #anon #ninth doctor #tenth doctor #eleventh doctor #twelfth doctor #thirteenth doctor

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roxannepolice · 2 months ago

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Rant 1/waiting for the department head to open his bloody e-mail/TDF doesn't work, really

The Doctor Falls is literally the highest graded Master episode on IMDB, and I'm not denying that it's a good episode, and also know that for some it is there that they like the Saxon Master best, but tbh for me it just doesn't work. Or perhaps works, but in that weird way where a work meant to send one message gets celebrated in a completely contradicotry way, Don Quixote style. Yes, Simm!Master's fans have been critcising it since 2017 as erasing his story in s3-4 (and tbc, I am pissed at the the way in which the Blasting of Rassilon was framed by Twelve, also bad at driving? the guy who repeatedly went back and forth between the end of the universe and 2007 UK? coming from the "oh I might have missed my mark by a few centuries" guy?), to which it is questioned if he really had a development, to which others ask if Missy had an actual development, and so on and so forth, but to me the problems go way, way deeper. At the same time, I always welcome pointing out if I missed something and general criticism (consider it a practice in waiting for the comments from my supervisors)!

First off, a simple question: did the Doctor have an actual plan that involved the Masters, or he was just expecting them to happily turn his sacrifical suicide into an expanded one for no practical reason??? Like, his only plan is "and then someone stays here and blows up the entire platform so Cybermen can't get higher up, and that's gonna be me because I'm dying and tired". So did he want the Masters to "stand with him" to, what die too? Leave with the colonists - and then what, live as retired alcoholic gunmen farmers, Clint Eastwood-style? Because the part where the colonists get away was achieved anyway! I guess they could get up to the Doctor's TARDIS all the way up and then even go fetch him, but I suppose that would elbow the sacrificial part away. Also, the option where at least some of the colonists pack themselves into those lifts and everyone gets onboard the Master's TARDIS is like. There. And wouldn't those guys know where more lifts were, like that's how they got to the level in the first place???

I'm not saying you can't headcanon an alternative plan that the Doctor had, but it sure as hell wasn't communicated to the audience, which, to clarify, I am focusing on here, like I'm analysing the episode as a work of fiction that someone was in charge of, not a documentary of strategic mistakes done by people under pressure.

Second: Missy just had to, had to, keep her plans a secret from the Doctor. Why???? I don't even have much to elaborate on here, I just could never understand this, and a more serious problem here is:

Why did Missy have to kill Saxon in the first place??? Like, seriously. Why. Do you really look at this guy and think he would have thought twice about running away on his own if he got to the lift and noticed she wasn't there??? Oh yeah, but "he's worried about his future!". Well everyone would be if they saw their future standing in awe of the protagonist doing exposition for ten years of your own timeflow, but frankly I just can't see this guy as not prioritising the here and now of his own (very nice) ass needing to run! Like, was he actively STOPPING HER from staying with the Doctor? No, he just strolled the fuck away without turning back! Oh, but maybe Missy knows he has to die now to regenerate into her, so it's all about keeping the timeline going. Soooo, she does remember these events after all? The Master went out of plot timeline overlapping induced memory loss at just the right moment to realise he's dying of a stab wound on a Mondasian colony ship, but also to already be onboard the TARDIS? Very convenient. Again, I wouldn't be raging if this was actually communicated, but it wasn't.

Which finally leads me to Missy's "sacrifice". What sacrifice? No, really, did her death actually change anything, because that's like the definition of a sacrifice? Leaving aside the whole problem of whether or not the Masters staying with the Doctor would have changed anything, Saxon was letting her get away until she started talking about her reasons for staying. Which she did because?... Like, again, it's not like either of them is going to remember anything of this. Yeah, but it needed to be communicated for the audience. Ok, then this is exactly when bad writing steps in. Like, if you need the characters to do something incredibly illogical for the audience's sake then you didn't write it in a way that would be naturally incorporated into the story.

Missy didn't sacrifice herself. She died of character exposition. She crashed into the fourth wall like a bird into glass door. She's shuffled off her screentime coil, run down the literal curtain, and joined the bleedin' incidental music orchestra invisible. She's not pushing daisies only because BBC's budget didn't include them.

Ok, I railed myself up, but really, the fact that Missy's death is usually framed as a sacrifice is one of those moment where I literally wonder if there are some glaring version differences between the episode I watched and that watched by everyone else.

But you know, I get it. As the Doctor explicitly laid out in his speech (which is its own can of worms on whether it's logically solid, that I'll get down to while waiting for my principal to open his bloody e-mail), this is not about winning, this is about doing the kind thing. Which is where the actually interesting interpretation of The Doctor Falls comes in. Which is the clash between deontological and utilitarian ethics.

Crash course: deontological ethics relies on viewing certain acts as good or evil by their very nature, while utilitarianism wages moral value in reference to some specific goal, which is not neccessarily "gain", but for example, preserving the lives of as many people as possible. To use the trolley dilemma (which is a thought experiment! it's meant to illustrate things, you're really not doing a "gotcha!" by asking about mass transport quality and regulations, though I appreciate this as a rethoric device), a deontologist will say reverting the train to one person instead of five is wrong, because at this point it becomes murder, while an utilitarianist will say reverting is right, because more people are saved than killed. To use a less cliche and reconfigured example, is it moral to blow up a planet if that's the only way to stop a war that's literally warping time into nonexistence? I've argued elsewhere that the deontology vs. utilitarianism is also the contrast made by John Smith vs. professor Yana. Yeah, I know the usual reading is "oh, look, the Doctor can be kind of a dick and the Master a good person!", but if you scratch down to the bottom of things, it's more the case of "the Doctor will focus on the values of people they identify with and the Master will focus on a goal; should they land in an environment where they will respectively identify with bigots, and have only one goal left in the universe and that's preserving life, they will be how they ended up being". Self-sacrifice becomes a matter of calculating yourself as the most expendable party.

In TDF, the Doctor is placed on the deontological side of the dilemma by everything he says during his speech(tm): it's kind. It just is, by its very nature. And to clarfiy for the pissing on poor website: I am not denying this! This is a very, very soild point! What I do argue is that Saxon Master isn't just being very bad because he never heard the music uwu, but that there's an ethical standpoint to his actions too! He's an utilitarianist, as the Master's always been! Why, just why is it wrong to mind control people if they clearly can't make the right choices on their own? Why is absolute power evil if individual will keeps going astray? Why is it wrong to body posses people if this saves my own life? Why shouldn't I change history if there are very good people in need of saving? Why shouldn't I run away if the only plan to save others will include me dying and no gain in return?

Again, the Doctor's speech is its own can of worms, but arguably the biggest leap done there is jumping from guilt vs. shame to "to thy own self be true" arguments. When you think of the Master as a utilitarianist... it's Saxon who fell where he stood. He stood on the side of "This is a pointless endeavour and I reject pointless. And if I'm to become someone who goes for pointless, then I won't be myself anyway and I might as well die." Absolutely not the intended reading, but death of the author, baby.

#roxanne's degree pursuit therapy #dw meta #tw: negativity #tw: suicide #the master #can you tell the moment i went from sober to tipsy? i'm a legal adult in any country btw #philosophy in doctor who #not using more main tags because it's for my own nervous comfort #written listening to green day's one eyed bastard on loop

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bugsonthemind · 1 year ago

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Worm characters rated on how funny I think it'd be if they were trans:

Taylor: 2/5. Neither particularly funny nor unfunny. Just sort of neutral. She fits the bill for a stereotypical east coast white transfem with a stick figure build, but there's not much of a punchline.

Brian: 0/5. Almost any way you slice it this is kinda sad. Either "transfemme continually overcompensates by trying to be as masculine as possible in a way that never really can or will satisfy her" or "transmasc overcompensates into masculinity to maximize stealth even if it's harmful to him."

Lisa: 3/5. This is also fairly neutral in terms of funniness. But the idea of her being stealth is not entirely implausible to me. 4/5 if you subscribe to the "blonde hair is actually a wig" theory tbh.

Alec: 2/5. Too obvious, too easy. That said, scumbag transvestite is pretty funny as a punchline.

Rachel: 4/5 in basically any way you interpret this. But critically, Rachel does not know what a trans person is. If you called her transgender person she'd think you were trying to insult her until you carefully explained what those things meant and then she'd be like, "Well, I guess I am. But I don't know why you'd need a word for that. I just wear what I want." She's accidentally achieved gender nirvana.

Aisha: 2/5. Again, I think this is too obvious! She already has scumbag transvestite vibes.

Colin: 2/5 normally, but 4/5 if the transition happens during the Armsmaster / Defiant career change. "What do you mean? Obviously Defiant is a totally different person from Armsmaster, she's a woman and Armsmaster was a man!"

Dragon: 4/5. Has the same approximate funny value as SHODAN, GLADOS, or AM being trans, but slightly knocked down by her not being particularly evil. That said if Colin is also trans in this scenario, then we could imagine some kind of weird double force-femme scenario where Colin is reprogramming her to be more free in her gender while she rebuilds Colin's body into something more fitting and suddnely I think I hauve COVID.

Dennis: 5/5. If Dennis was transfem she would make indefinite puns about her chosen hero name. She would lean into it constantly I think. Very funny to think about.

Chris: 3/5. ADHD transgender failgirls / failboys will always rank well with me.

Dean: 4/5. Closeted the whole time he's with Victoria is a pretty funny scenario here. Gradually bringing up transgender people and then watching her aura very closely.

Missy: 1/5 Again, we're looking more at a "this is deeply depressing" scenario than "this is funny." "Why would I medically transition? Odds are pretty good that I'm not making it past puberty anyways."

Sophia: 0/5. Just not much here to go on tbh! Not funny!

Sveta: 4/5. Vial gives her the body she always wanted -> she gets confused and thinks she's supposed to be a man, so she transitions again -> she realizes that she's a woman again and de / retransitions. Just a comedy of gender errors.

Amy: 1/5. Eh is all I have for this.

Victoria: 2/5. Any implication in this descends more into a territory I would call creeping dread regardless of how funny it is.

Bakuda: 4/5. Pretty solid Unabomber-style "could transitioning have made her worse?" punchline.

Manton: 3/5. Insane cannibalistic transfem projecting her ideal, ripped, indefinitely strong, statuesque body into physical reality to hunt down her prey and I think I hauve COVID again. 4/5 if the Siberian also hangs schlong tbh. Just makes the whole image more comedic.

Riley: 5/5. "I transitioned at ten, but then later removed my own ovaries that I grew for myself for unrelated reasons."

#wormblr

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rearranging-deck-chairs · 2 years ago

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i love having characters just say stuff. did you know you can do that? doesnt even have to be true, you dont even need to know if it's true, just that they believe it. anyway. missy voice: children love me

#children love being hung from the ceiling by their feet #i love missys children thing #i think bc to me it feels like a reaching for something slightly...like....inorganically #or. no #thats not it #but it's like the woman thing. it's. an image. an idea of something #but at the same time it's not about the optics #like it's not that she wants to present the image of a mother. at all #like shes a caretaker of children a lot. theyre never HER children you know what i mean?#and i also think theres like real needs or desires that are being expressed by how she gravitates to children #and specifically in this position to be a mentor to them in some way #easy power of course #and shaping a person #and i think theres rebellion against gallifrey in it in a way #i think she'd raise little anarchists #i also think it's fun if she repeatedly claims that shes good with children #i dont know if theres much basis tbh for all my missy&kids thoughts i need to relisten to her audios but #i have her claim this kind of a lot #and never in a situation where the other party has any way to verify #they have never SEEN her interact with children #or with the doctor it's like. yes maybe Once Upon A Time but theyre 2 millennia older now who knows maybe she HAS changed you know?#thats the recurring thing wiht missy maybe she HAS changed #but even if she hasnt i dont think the doctor would even be sure if it's true #both bc biased judgement clouded by emotion And i dont think it's entirely clear with missy #it's sort of like. yes shes good with children unless you saw the hanging the child from the ceiling incident #then maybe you wouldnt think so #but if you just missed that #anyway #i like having her claim it anyway #i think it's an expression of something too

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maroonangels · 3 months ago

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// ranking heartbreak high ships //

- includes canon and non canon ships, basically any ship I could think of

PERSONAL opinions. k anyway

Malakai/Amerie — 8/10 - listen they’re great but also make me wanna rip my hair out sometimes, amerie girl you pissed me off BAD in s2 (and s1 tbh) and malakai… christ I need you wrapped in bubble wrap and kept in a secluded room so you stop getting traumatized

Cash/Darren — 7/10 - they need to learn to talk to one another in depth, other than that slay eshay being in love with eccentric non binary character

Spider/Missy — 9/10 - need more screentime, spider PLEASE don’t ruin this, missy get better friends <3

Ant/Harper — 6/10 - not my favorite but I have nothing against them, and I instantly jump to defend them to those ant/spider shippers cause yall are doing far too much trying to make harper the bad guy

Sasha/Quinni — 5/10 - okay it would be higher going off s2 alone but both seasons combined could go either way, I do believe in their redemption tho platonic or romantic tbh

Rowan/Malakai — 6/10 — cute at first but rip malakai he deserved a better first queer relationship than that shit frfr

Rowan/Amerie — 4/10 - I didn’t like them as much as I liked rowan & malakai together

Dusty/Amerie — 1/10 - only reason they’re getting a 1 is cause in old wips made them a whole angst plot point in my amerie/spider fics and it was fabulous

Dusty/Harper — 6/10 - COULD be cute if dusty wasn’t completely fucked, like they were cute to me pre the end of s1, but also fuck dusty he can go choke

Spider/Amerie — 7/10 - they were my ride or die for a hot second, still miss the brainrot I had of them, but s2 kinda gave us nothing so 💔

Spider/Ant — 4/10 - yall won’t like me for this one but I do truly think spider only ever sees ant as a best friend, ant pinning and it being unrequited? sure. them being madly in love? I just can’t see it 😭 also their fans ruined any chance they had for me liking them so

Spider/Malakai — 10/10 - yeah they barely interact but I don’t care still a 10/10 for me (is anyone surprised)

Spider/Dusty — 6/10 - same rating as harper/dusty cause I see them very similarly, they would have potential for some pre-canon shit and like secret relationships and shit that would be so much fun to mess around with but also FUCK dusty I hate his ass

Spider/Harper — 7/10 - was one of my og ships and I’ll never get over them, they hate each other in canon but that’s what makes it tasty

Quinni/Harper — 5/10 - I could totally see this but it’d have to be s2 on cause I think unmasked quinni would be such a good gf for harper & vice versa

Amerie/Harper — 5/10 - meh, not my least favorite but not my ride or die, I do have a good edit of them up tho cause they give me those good good friend-crush-repression vibes

Missy/Sasha — 3/10 - sasha cheated, missy deserves better, I do wish we got more lore for them tho

Ant/Zoe — 7/10 - hilarious give me 20 of them. ant being best friends with spider really plays this up for me, also I think ant could get zoe to chill the fuck out a bit like he does with spider but also zoe could teach ant some shit

Ant/Malakai — 4/10 - don’t get it that much but don’t hate it

Woodsy/Jojo — 10/10 - they’re canon wdym

Woodsy/Voss — 1/10 - it definitely happened but like- brother eugh yk

honorable mentions ->

Malakai/Spider/Amerie — 10/10 - do I need to explain??

Dusty/Spider/Harper — 8/10 - I could go into heavy detail but I won’t, just know they’re fucking insane and nasty and I love them

Dusty/Spider/Ant — 6/10 - this only works for smut I fear but it’s fun to write

Harper/Spider/Ant — 8/10 - oh yeah, this is one of the only ways I fuck with ant/spider and no I can’t explain it

Malakai/Spider/Missy — 9/10 - I wish I was better at writing throuples cause KNOW I’d be on that shit

Malakai/Spider/Ant — 5/10 - noooooo yall you don’t get the same effect with them all together as you would get with them split apart a bit, but also I can see the appeal so a 5

Quinni/Sasha/Harper — 7/10 - it’d be chaos and I’ve yet to decide if it’s the good kind or not

Malakai/Amerie/Spider/Harper — 10/10 - I’m the only one seeing the vision but it’s real to me so whatever

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rentalboos · 11 months ago

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sometimes DW fandom's opinions just infuriate me tbh if you ever have the idea that the Master, in any shape, form or incarnation is competent, then something went wrong. If your take is that every Master is incompetent except for Missy, then you're either incapable of recognising her as the same character as the other Masters, or Moffat wrote her wrong. Personally, I think it's both, one of which is a result of the other.

#tired.

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sandalwoodbox · 5 months ago

Note

Vidder asks: 12, 21, 27?

Thanks for asking!

(This is part of the Get to know the Vidder ask meme. See all my responses here and feel free to send me asks!)

12. Most underrated vid that you wished had gotten more views?

I'm going to say Stray Italian Greyhound for Dear Missy. I really like this vid because I think it most accurately summarizes what I see as the plot of the actual series - Lu Ke's journey to recognizing, accepting, and ultimately living her feelings for Shen Siyi. I'm pretty proud of how it turned out, and it can still fairly reliably make me tear up to watch. It's a really great show and more people should watch it! Even with the weird canonical straight ending it's pretty good tbh 🤣 it has things like men and women dating and breaking up and still being part of the same friend group 🤯 what a concept!

But personally I always advocate for just ignoring the heterosexuality in the last six episodes & just watching them for the bonus Lu Ke / Shen Siyi fluff.

21. How would you describe your vidding style?

Answered here with bonus "what is your vidding process" because I got distracted 😅

27. Advice for anyone just starting their channel?

I'm interpreting this to mean "advice for anyone starting out making fanvids"?

I'd say do what you want and don't expect anyone to see it. Exchanges (like Festivids) and cons (like VidUKon, Fanworks, or WisCon) are a great way to "force" people to watch your vids and not get criticism unless you want it. (YMMV - I am not sure what the experience of submitting to AMV contests is like, for example.)

I'd recommend using a modern fully-featured video editing program like Da Vinci Resolve from the beginning rather than something like iMovie - DVR is more complicated but makes it very easy to separate the vid itself from the source files. That is, you can move the files from your hard drive to a backup drive to free up space and work on something else, then put them back later if you want to go back to a previous fandom!

That said, if a low bar of entry is important, iMovie is also fine. Whatever works for you!

Bonus question 1 (from replies): How do you get ideas for vids?

It depends! Sometimes it comes from blorbos or otherwise loving a show such that I want to share it with other people. Other times it comes from frustration with something not being done the way I wanted in the show, or drawing out a theme that I think the show didn't fully explore. A large chunk of my vids are from Festivids, which is great because I can see what ideas other people have and then make treats for them if I'm excited about what they've suggested and think I have time to pull it off (which is usually only possible for movies and for shows I've already (mostly) clipped, in my experience.) From time to time I'll hear a song and think it's perfect for some character or concept, but I'll generally still end up spending a fair amount of time searching for other potential songs before I actually get started on the vid. More often I'll hear a song and think, that would make a fun vid but I don't know what for, so I stick it in a playlist that I go through every time I'm looking for potential vid songs.

If I have an idea for a vid, I write it down in a spreadsheet. I'll never make most of those ideas, either because I've moved on from the fandom or because I just ended up not liking it as much later. Here's a snippet of vids I will probably never make from my spreadsheet in case it's interesting:

Bonus question 2 (from replies): What makes a vid you're working on feel done to you?

I'm a bit of a perfectionist with my vids, so this can be tricky. I think I would say: Once I am satisfied that the clips on the timeline are doing what I want and there are no clips that I believe would be strictly better, I try to stop.

Overall my process is: I'll generally make a first draft that doesn't have things that feel obviously bad (but I might still have things I'm not satisfied with but don't know how to solve). I send that out for beta and work on other things in the meantime. Depending on how much I care about the vid / how uncertain I am about it, I might do multiple rounds of beta or send it to multiple betas at once.

Depending on the vid, I might do a pass specifically looking at clip timing or motion or color correction (for example, making sure dark scenes are possible to parse), or anything else that I particularly want to work well for the vid.

Once I have something that feels "final" I like to let it sit for a week to a month, then come back to it to see if there's anything else I notice that I'd want to change before calling it done.

But a lot of times I'm working on a deadline for an exchange or a con, which means that at some point I just have to stop and call it good enough.

By the time I'm done with a vid, I often no longer feel like I can tell whether it's good or not because I'm too deep in it, so I see things nobody else would. I can't necessarily tell how satisfied I'll be with a finished vid until 6-12 months after I've posted it. (So I try to keep that in mind if I'm agonizing over whether people will notice a cleancredits glitch that's only visible in the lower left corner of a clip for like 4 frames.)

I have a vidder friend who I can show things to at that point not for beta but just to ask, is there anything obviously wrong with this? Any reason I shouldn't post this? (The answer is usually: It's fine, just post it!)

#dear missy #ask meme #my fanvids #my posts #vidding #了不起的女孩

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