#ant x malakai

[maroonangels]

// ranking heartbreak high ships //

- includes canon and non canon ships, basically any ship I could think of

PERSONAL opinions. k anyway

Malakai/Amerie — 8/10 - listen they’re great but also make me wanna rip my hair out sometimes, amerie girl you pissed me off BAD in s2 (and s1 tbh) and malakai… christ I need you wrapped in bubble wrap and kept in a secluded room so you stop getting traumatized

Cash/Darren — 7/10 - they need to learn to talk to one another in depth, other than that slay eshay being in love with eccentric non binary character

Spider/Missy — 9/10 - need more screentime, spider PLEASE don’t ruin this, missy get better friends <3

Ant/Harper — 6/10 - not my favorite but I have nothing against them, and I instantly jump to defend them to those ant/spider shippers cause yall are doing far too much trying to make harper the bad guy

Sasha/Quinni — 5/10 - okay it would be higher going off s2 alone but both seasons combined could go either way, I do believe in their redemption tho platonic or romantic tbh

Rowan/Malakai — 6/10 — cute at first but rip malakai he deserved a better first queer relationship than that shit frfr

Rowan/Amerie — 4/10 - I didn’t like them as much as I liked rowan & malakai together

Dusty/Amerie — 1/10 - only reason they’re getting a 1 is cause in old wips made them a whole angst plot point in my amerie/spider fics and it was fabulous

Dusty/Harper — 6/10 - COULD be cute if dusty wasn’t completely fucked, like they were cute to me pre the end of s1, but also fuck dusty he can go choke

Spider/Amerie — 7/10 - they were my ride or die for a hot second, still miss the brainrot I had of them, but s2 kinda gave us nothing so 💔

Spider/Ant — 4/10 - yall won’t like me for this one but I do truly think spider only ever sees ant as a best friend, ant pinning and it being unrequited? sure. them being madly in love? I just can’t see it 😭 also their fans ruined any chance they had for me liking them so

Spider/Malakai — 10/10 - yeah they barely interact but I don’t care still a 10/10 for me (is anyone surprised)

Spider/Dusty — 6/10 - same rating as harper/dusty cause I see them very similarly, they would have potential for some pre-canon shit and like secret relationships and shit that would be so much fun to mess around with but also FUCK dusty I hate his ass

Spider/Harper — 7/10 - was one of my og ships and I’ll never get over them, they hate each other in canon but that’s what makes it tasty

Quinni/Harper — 5/10 - I could totally see this but it’d have to be s2 on cause I think unmasked quinni would be such a good gf for harper & vice versa

Amerie/Harper — 5/10 - meh, not my least favorite but not my ride or die, I do have a good edit of them up tho cause they give me those good good friend-crush-repression vibes

Missy/Sasha — 3/10 - sasha cheated, missy deserves better, I do wish we got more lore for them tho

Ant/Zoe — 7/10 - hilarious give me 20 of them. ant being best friends with spider really plays this up for me, also I think ant could get zoe to chill the fuck out a bit like he does with spider but also zoe could teach ant some shit

Ant/Malakai — 4/10 - don’t get it that much but don’t hate it

Woodsy/Jojo — 10/10 - they’re canon wdym

Woodsy/Voss — 1/10 - it definitely happened but like- brother eugh yk

honorable mentions ->

Malakai/Spider/Amerie — 10/10 - do I need to explain??

Dusty/Spider/Harper — 8/10 - I could go into heavy detail but I won’t, just know they’re fucking insane and nasty and I love them

Dusty/Spider/Ant — 6/10 - this only works for smut I fear but it’s fun to write

Harper/Spider/Ant — 8/10 - oh yeah, this is one of the only ways I fuck with ant/spider and no I can’t explain it

Malakai/Spider/Missy — 9/10 - I wish I was better at writing throuples cause KNOW I’d be on that shit

Malakai/Spider/Ant — 5/10 - noooooo yall you don’t get the same effect with them all together as you would get with them split apart a bit, but also I can see the appeal so a 5

Quinni/Sasha/Harper — 7/10 - it’d be chaos and I’ve yet to decide if it’s the good kind or not

Malakai/Amerie/Spider/Harper — 10/10 - I’m the only one seeing the vision but it’s real to me so whatever

[k-wame]

HEARTBREAK HIGH 2024 · Teen · Drama · S2·EP4

[starlightdelrey]

heartbreak high navigation

PSA no minors allowed please!!!! there will be sensitive content and nsfw content explored in these fics!! i do not want to have to block anybody!

i write from a fem/nb pov only (sorry) and will not write for some characters (like chook), and i'm willing to write smut and sensitive topics - to a degree xx

to request, either comment, dm or leave an ask (also comment, dm or leave an ask to be added to the tag list) !!

romantic partners i'll write for include: spider, ant, malakai, missy, amarie, harper, (to be updated)

---

character x character

oneshots:

axe throwing - ant and harper (in which two of the hartley kids finally get a moment of peace together (or ant thinks he's gonna lose his arm))

more to come !

[lansangprincess]

Heartbreak High S2E2 highlights⋆·˚ ༘ *

malakai having hella bi panic in the escape room lmfao — "I had a threesome w a guy once. not to brag but it was pretty gay 😌✨"

AMERIEMALAKAI FIGHT NOOOOOOOOOOO

i feel rlly bad for Harper. I may not have liked her that much in s1 but I have always been glad her character and storyline exists bc fcking hell do i relate

anthony vaughn the man u are. imma tackle u for sure idgaf abt pig oil

the Missy/Spider ship gets into gear bc he got distracted by her muscle mommy-ness???? INTO IT.

but still, fuck u spider incel piece of shit <3

AND FUCK YOU TOO ZOEY VICTIM-BLAMING BITCH

the ant/harper scene i want that scene tattooed on me. right next to amerie/malakai first time scene. him being a fking idiot most of the time but having the sense to stop harper from doing something she might regret (while gently reassuring her that he wants to)?? i love him i love him i love him i love him

💗detective Quinni💗 exposing Sasha for being the hypocrite we all knew her to be

idk if i like rowan that much but i love malakai and seeing him have bi panic constantly is so funny but it also makes me feel really bad for amerie please just tell her T^T

CA$H BABY LOOK AT ME IT'S ME CA$H PLEASE DON'T DO THIS mommy im scared (…idk why but i feel like if u showed him the duck he'd go w nan and darren…)

[j2hoes]

Eshay Baby. (Anthony Vaughn x Chook's Sister Reader)

Word Count: 5.8K

Y/N Cooper and Anthony Vaughn had a complicated relationship, which becomes even more complex following the reveal of the incest map.

WARNING: This work is not intended for those under the age of eighteen as it does have mature content. This story deals with alcohol, sexual content, drugs, explicit language, violence, death and triggering topics such as sexual assault and abuse.

A/N: I really hope you enjoy this fic as much as I do, I am a sucker for an ex's to lovers trope! This will be an ongoing series with each chapter correlating to a different episode! Love you! x

Fuck you Monday.

I am not a bad person. At least, I don’t believe I am. Research suggests that people become products of their environments, in fact, there’s an entire theory surrounding the self-fulfilling prophecy which suggests that if environmental factors such as the people and community surrounding you believe you will turn out a certain way, you will. It’s something to do with the phrase ‘if that’s what people think I am, then that’s what I will be.’ For as long as I’ve been alive, I have done my best to combat this. Not wanting to prove the countless social workers, mental health professionals, teachers and police correct. I am a good person.

My brother on the other hand, that’s slightly more complicated. He’s four years older than me, he understands and remembers more of our childhood than I do. It’s not something that we often talk about, him opting to avoid the subject entirely not wanting to reminisce on the past. His words not mine. I don’t blame him for this, nothing I can remember is positive. Being passed from one distant relative to the next, each being significantly worse than the last. Until one day we ended up at the home. I can only imagine what other horrors he may remember.

Hence why I stated it’s complicated, everything he does, he does for us. That’s the way it’s always been. Not once has he failed to protect me, agreeing to be my legal guardian the moment he turned eighteen in order to remove me from the clutches of any government mandated home. I’ll forever be grateful to him for that, and so I could never argue that he isn’t a selfless man. Not when it comes to family.

Others may disagree with me, believing he is cruel, callous and cold. Inherently evil is a term that has been used to describe him many times before. I’ll be the first to admit that there are times when I don’t agree with his actions. However, I don’t believe this defines him as a person. People are so complex and have many different layers that somebody cannot be defined by one small thing. So would I say he’s a good person? No, but I also wouldn’t say he’s a bad person. He’s just different.

“Your brother said to tell you he’s setting off in ten minutes so to make sure you’re ready.”

The soft voice at my doorway startles me, too focused on applying my lipgloss to notice the boy standing in the doorway. As I glance up at him through my mirror, I’m hit by the unmistakable stench of marijuana that seems to flood the room. My nose scrunches, slightly disgusted by the thought of my brother and his friends getting high in the living room at eight am on a monday morning. Continuing to apply multiple layers of the shimmery pink gloss, I notice the figure is still standing in my doorway, his back turned to me, stance appearing almost awkward as he scratches the back of his head nervously.

“Cash you can come in.”

He turns to face me, hesitantly stepping through the threshold into my bedroom with a small smile on his face. Closing the old wooden door behind him, only to almost be knocked out by the numerous bags I have hung up on the back of my door.

“That’s a lot of bags.” He comments, resulting in a small laugh from me due to him stating the obvious.

Beginning to gather my textbooks, notebooks and any other supplies I may need for school, I notice Cash standing silently simply observing my bedroom. It’s a stark contrast to the rest of the house. Walls painted a burnt amber with photos and posters plastered up anywhere I could reach. Crocheted blankets are thrown over every piece of furniture in the room and my window stays wide open, allowing the bright morning light to flood the room, the gentle breeze blowing just enough to allow a melodic hum to reverberate through my wind chime.

“Your bedroom is nice. It’s homely.” Cash tells me, waiting patiently as I continue to throw things into my bag.

“Not a chance in hell was I letting Chook decorate my bedroom with graffiti.” I laugh, throwing my chunky black cardigan over my shoulders before the eshay opens the door for me, being the gentleman that he is and allowing me to exit first. “There’s another spray paint to cover a skatepark in here as it is.”

My finger traces one of the many swirls of blue spray paint that lines the hallway as I speak, eliciting a chuckle from the boy that follows behind me. Entering the lounge, I find Jayden and Tilla sprawled out on the sofa, eyes glazed over and it’s clear that they’re both stoned out of their minds. Chook sits on the armchair that he’s claimed as his own, nobody else dares to sit there, knowing it’s his seat. He’s playing with the car keys in his hands, eyes fixed on the unconscious man laid out at his feet. Occasionally nudging him with his foot in an attempt to humor himself.

“Who’s that?” I question, capturing my brother’s attention for the first time since we set foot in the lounge.

“Fuck knows brah, couldn’t handle his drinks though clearly.”

With one last surprisingly gentle kick to the stomach, Chook rises from the chair. Ruffling my hair as he strolls past me and towards the front door, much to my annoyance. I sigh quietly, swiftly smoothing my hair down, to which Cash does his best to muffle his laugh as we follow my brother out the door. Stepping over yet another unconscious man as we leave the house.

Hartley High is only a twenty minute drive, most of which I spend in silence, trying my best to enjoy the drum and bass that erupts out of the speakers as we fly down the streets of Sydney. Chook was never one for following the speed limit, no matter how many times I lectured him on the importance of driving safely.

We pull into the car park outside of school with an ear piercing screech, slamming to a halt directly outside the gates, the unnecessary amount of noise causes many students to look in our direction. Many whispering to their friends as they gawk at us, I do my best to keep my head down as I clamber out of the vehicle. Embarrassed by the commotion Chook has caused.

“Don’t get expelled!” Chook yells out of the car window as Cash and I trudge reluctantly towards the quad. Not wanting to dignify him with a response, I simply throw my middle finger up behind me, hearing his raucous laughter followed by the screech of his tires on the asphalt once again.

“You reckon this year will be any better?” Cash inquires, knuckles white due to how tight he is clenching the strap of his fanny pack that is thrown over his shoulder. He’s nervous. Contrary to what people believe, Cash is a sweet boy. He’s so loving, caring, considerate and kind, he has a lot to offer the world we live in. Nobody seems to see this though. Believing Cash is a good for nothing eshay that will make nothing of himself upon leaving school, most likely following in the footsteps of his mother and ending up in prison. Even he himself believes this.

“I don’t know mate, maybe for you, I mean you technically don’t even need to be here. I don’t have a choice unfortunately.”

“Yeah but that just means you’re stuck with me for another year kiddo.”

“I am literally a year younger than you.” I sulk, giving him a gentle shove in order to express my annoyance. “Besides, you wouldn’t have screwed me if you saw me as a kid.”

Cash stops in his tracks completely, I smirk, pleased that I’ve rendered him completely speechless and offer him a quick wink from over my shoulder as he jogs to catch up to me. We agreed to never speak of it. A one night hook up when we were both heavily under the influence of certain illegal substances. My heart was in pieces following the breakdown of mine and a particular church going brunette’s secret relationship. If you could even call it a relationship, we never exactly labeled anything, nor made anything public. However, it felt as though my heart had shattered, I’d never experienced anything like that before. Not even the pain of my childhood compared to this.

One thing led to another and Cash and I were stumbling into bed together. Both of us knew it was wrong, Chook would kill Cash if he ever found out. Fortunately it only happened once and while I wouldn’t say that I regret it, it did definitely put a strain on our friendship for a while. Mostly due to him being terrified of me telling my brother.

Remembering the memory, I can’t help but smile to myself. Even if it was just for that one night, Cash made me feel whole again. Like I was worthy of finding love. The dopamine from the positive recollection seems to crash like a wave over my body, uplifting my mood drastically despite heading into what is ultimately prison for the next seven hours. That is until I catch a glimpse of the one person I was hoping to avoid completely for the next year.

Anthony Vaughn.

“Oi there’s a fully gacked sex map in the old stairwell.” Shouts from the redheaded girl catch my attention and I’m grateful to be provided a distraction. “It’s called the incest map!”

Students from all directions flock together in a sprint towards the old stairwell. The scene could be described as something out of a nature documentary when a pack of wild animals chase after their prey together. It’s wild and chaotic, completely undignified. So, with a quick glance at one another, Cash and I also follow the crowd, taking off in a run to identify what a ‘sex map’ truly is, and why it is so interesting that the entirety of our school is racing at full speed just to catch a glimpse.

I thank my lucky stars that I’m not claustrophobic when I eventually manage to squeeze my way through the horde of students. Names are scrawled in huge letters across the wall, each with different lines and symbols linking one to another. There’s a key chart to the left hand side and it’s safe to say nobody’s sexual endeavours were safe due to how graphic the key chart was.

The usual suspects are on the map, those who aren’t quiet about their partaking in hookup culture, such as Darren and Dusty. Those in relationships are also unsurprising, for example Missy and Sasha are of course linked, having only just recently broken up. Other names however do manage to shock me, for one I was not expecting to see Quinni’s name on the map, nor was I expecting Cash. Following the three lines connected to his name, it’s only then that I realize in bright red letters accompanied by a pair of devil horns, is my name.

Y/N - hooked up - Cash. Y/N - blowie - Spider. Y/N - fucked - Ant. Y/N - destined - Ant.

With each passing second it feels like my heart has stopped, secrets revealed to the world that were supposed to never see the light of day. How did anybody know about this? Sure, Spider may have blabbed about me giving him a blowjob, most likely bragging to his two best mates about it as though I’m his latest conquest. However, what happened between Cash and I, as well as Ant and I was meant to be kept quiet.

With trembling hands, I begin to anxiously scan the room, looking for any sign that somebody other than myself may have noticed my name. Catching the eye of the brunette, who stands timidly between Dusty and Spider, I discern that he is just as concerned as I am. Fearful of the consequences of this coming out.

“Yo Ant, you fucked the eshay’s sister? Nice one bro.” Dusty shouts, clapping his friend on the back which only leads to the red blush on his face to creep to an even deeper crimson.

“You got further with her than I ever did.” Spider comments, a mischievous smirk spread across his lips. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

Ant simply lowers his head, eyes focusing on his shoes which appear to be a lot more interesting than the map in front of him. I can’t lie and say it doesn’t hurt that he won’t speak about us, but at the same time, I understand. With mates like his, I would want to keep things hidden from them too, especially if this is how they react. Not to mention his overly religious family upbringing and the overwhelming amount of shame he is afraid of bringing on his family.

“Hey, you okay?” Cash whispers, hand faintly grazing mine in a subtle attempt to offer his support.

“I was just about to ask you the same thing.” Offering the mullet wearing boy a forced smile, trying to cover up the embarrassment of suddenly being the center of attention.

Continuing to stare at the map in disbelief, only the shouts of rowdy teenagers can be heard as they find more and more connections on the map that they hadn’t seen upon their first inspection. A few even run out in tears, the map ruining many people’s relationships, outing people and just causing pure humiliation for everybody that has their name scribbled across the wall.

“Hey, do you reckon if we ask real nice, Y/N will let us double dick her?” Spider asks Ant obnoxiously loud, nudging him as they both look over in my direction. Humorless expression evident on my face. “What, we’ve both already been there.”

Spider’s comment is directed to me, with him and Dusty both finding the utmost amusement in the entire situation. Ant, on the other hand, looks as though he wants the floor to swallow him whole, unable to make eye contact with me.

“Are you sure you’d be able to get it up? You and I both know how difficult it was for you last time and that was just for a blowie.” Without giving Spider a chance to respond, I’m pushing through the sea of teenagers, who are now staring eagle eyed between the blonde boy and myself. Invested in the very minor argument between us, a chorus of laughter can be heard at Spider’s expense. Even Dusty seems to take amusement in the mortification of his friend. As I brush past the trio, it’s hard to ignore the self-consciousness on their leader’s face. I can’t help but feel a small sense of pride, knowing that my comment really got under his skin. Eyes trailing over each of the guys, I notice that Ant is already looking at me, a regretful look on his face.

Unlike his two mates, Ant has always been the more caring of the three. Whilst still partaking, somewhat reluctantly, in the shenanigans that the other boys rope him into, he has always had more of a guilty consciousness. Often disclosing the amount of regret and guilt he felt due to some of their actions. Though, he made me swear that information to secrecy, not wanting the boys to view him as weaker. It’s one thing we regularly argued about, with him being unable to fathom the idea that having morals and a consciousness doesn’t make you any less of a man.

The deafening shrill of the school bell sounds whilst I stomp across the quad, alerting me of the fact that I should be headed towards the gym for the mandatory back to school assembly. Yet, I can’t bring myself to face it. Wanting to avoid Spider for a little while longer while I can in the hopes of steering clear of another confrontation. Half an hour into the new school year and I’m already wagging, what a great start.

Without turning to look back, I can hear the shuffle of feet as everybody begins to pile out of the old stairwell. Heading into the main school building, still, I tread on. Doing my best to sneak behind the science block and finding solace in the old dunnies that were closed off to students back in the nineties. Technically, nobody is supposed to be back here, I’m risking detention just by being here, though Cash and I continue to use it as a safe space to hide from the world whenever we need peace.

Rummaging through my bag, I’m quick to find the box of Marlboro Gold’s that I always keep stashed at the bottom, just on the odd occasion that I do feel the urge to smoke. It used to be a rare occurrence, these days, unfortunately it seems to be more of a recurring problem. I’ve hidden the habit from just about everyone in my life, not that Chook would care, he’s done far worse that I ever have. I just don't want people to perceive me as any less that they do now, I know smoking is a dirty horrible habit and yet I can’t seem to quit. So, as I spark my lighter, inhaling the toxic fumes, I begin to take comfort in the calm that fills my body from the lungs outward.

“Shit, sorry, I didn’t think anyone was gonna be in here.”

My eyes sweep up from the ground, and if the baggy jeans and tie dyed jumper weren’t enough of a give away as to who stood before me the cross chain hanging from his neck certainly did. It’s the first time he’s actually spoken to me directly since the night everything came crumbling down eight weeks ago. When my eyes lock with his, I can’t help but take in his beauty as if it’s the first time I’ve ever seen him and before I can react the cigarette is falling out of my fingers.

“I didn’t know you smoked.”

He points to the ciggie that is now beginning to burn out on the concrete floor. With an awkward laugh, I quickly pick it up, stubbing it out on the wall, humiliated that he caught me.

“I don’t really,” Playing with the ends of my hair as I desperately try to think of an excuse that doesn’t truly reveal the extent of my habit.

“Just needed to destress after this morning.”

“Yeah, crazy morning, right?” Ant asks, leaning against the doorframe as he attempts to make small talk with me. “Actually, do you have another one of those?”

With raised eyebrows I nod swiftly, pulling the pack out of my bag and offering them to him along with my lighter. He lights his and I do the same, after all I didn’t exactly get to finish the first one on account of dropping it on the ground.

“You wagging assembly too?”

My voice is quiet, unsure on whether he actually wants me to make conversation with him or he’d prefer to sit in silence. Despite my best attempts to not make it obvious, I watch as he takes a drag from the ciggie, allowing the smoke to delicately fall from his lips. It’s awkward not knowing where I stand with him, sure, what happened was a while ago now and I’d assumed we’d both moved on but that doesn’t make the entire situation any less awkward.

“Couldn’t face it, Spider and Dusty wouldn’t stop hounding me for all the details and I just needed some space.” Ant admits, picking at the skin around his fingers between drags.

“Oh right, I can leave if you want some space, I don’t mind.”

Grabbing my bag and hauling myself off the window ledge, I throw the end of my ciggie to the ground, ready to leave. That is until his hand grabs mine gently, his touch soft as I’m forced to stop and look at him.

“No, stay. You should stay.”

Ant offers me a small smile before letting go of my hand, the touch so fleeting and yet it still manages to make my heart flutter even just the tiniest bit. Sitting beside him on the cold, mucky floor, not minding the dirt if it means that Ant and I are one step closer to mending our friendship. Truthfully, I miss him. I miss him as a friend more so than anything. Our bond was one that you don’t find much in life, one that others struggle to comprehend.

“I owe you an apology.” His words catch me off guard, unaware that he felt the need to apologize to me, let alone, doing so on the first day back at school. Granted it hasn’t been any ordinary first day back. “I was a complete dickhead to you and you didn’t deserve it-”

“Ant you don’t need to explain yourself.”

“Nah, I do. I think I knew I couldn’t be the guy you deserved, and I got scared. It’s no excuse, I know that. Just believe me, I didn’t mean any of the stuff I said to you that night, I was so pissed, honestly, I hardly remember any of it. All I know is I woke up with the worst hangover of my life and you weren’t there.” He stops for a moment, collecting his thoughts with furrowed eyebrows, trying his best to put what he wants to say into words. “You weren’t there and then I saw the messages. Y/N, I’m so sorry. I didn’t ever want to hurt you.”

He’s staring at me intently, eyes trying to find any glimmer of emotion on my face in an attempt to determine what I’m thinking. Opening my mouth to respond, I find myself rendered completely speechless. As I focus on Ant, I can see the worry in his eyes. Uneasy as to what I may have to say.

“Shit, sorry, I’m no good with words, I-”

“Stop talking Ant.” I mumble, putting an end to his rant before he can even properly begin. “Cheers for the apology, it means a lot.”

“Do you hate me?” The question is blurted out before he can stop himself. Shocking even himself judging by the way his widened followed by his head falling to his hands.

“I could never hate you. You should know that.” I tell him, his whole body instantly less tense as the relief floods through him. “I’ve actually really missed my friend. We should’ve never complicated things.”

I almost miss it, but there’s a flash of pain in the browns of his eyes as I say those last words, though he nods in agreement. The silence that follows is no longer awkward, instead it’s tranquil. Plainly embracing the warmth of the early morning sun in one another’s presence feels relaxing compared to the events that unfolded prior. Blissfully enjoying the reblossoming of our once torn apart friendship.

“If it isn’t Anthony Vaughn and Y/N Y/LN. You’ve not even been back a day and you’re already wagging.” Ms Woods’ tone is extremely unimpressed as she addresses us, evidently not happy that we’re getting into trouble this quickly. Ant and I can’t help but hold in matching mischievous grins. “My office now!”

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------- “So what were you and Ant doing in the dunnies together?” Cash mumbles the minute my brother is out of earshot and inside Harry’s diner, no doubt trying to chat up all the girls who are trying to eat their chippies in peace.

Slapping him straight in the chest, my eyes flicker towards the door of the diner, wary that Chook will pop out at any second and overhear our conversation. He feigns annoyance, dramatically throwing his hand up to his chest, acting as if I’ve just shot him.

“Oh my god, nothing!”

“I saw your names on the map Y/N, can you blame me for thinking you were trying to cop a root?”

“Shut the fuck up! Nothing happened okay?” I whisper as aggressively as I can, playing with the hem of my pinstripe mini dress in the hopes that I can distract myself from this conversation.

“I dunno, Amerie seemed to think you two were destined.”

“Who’s destined?”

Chook’s voice alarms me, head snapping up to spot the slightly older, male version of myself walking only mere feet away from Cash and I. His casual demeanor suggests he hasn’t overheard the rest of our conversation for which I’m thankful. Locking eyes with Cash, I shake my head in the subtlest way possible so he knows not to say a word. If Chook found out about the map, not only would I be dead, but Cash as well, so it’s in the best interest of both of us not to open our mouths about yesterday’s events.

“Spider and his imaginary girlfriend. That boy is gonna be in a serious relationship with his hand for the foreseeable future.” The lie slips off my tongue so easily that it’s rather concerning. Chook doesn’t question me, though why would he? I learned from the best.

“Sure. You prepared for the cemetery tonight kid?” Chook asks Cash, not even bothering to look up at him as he stashes the boot of the car with countless amounts of junk food he had just collected from Harry’s. “Thank god you stayed at school for another year, since this little bitch didn’t wanna take over as our connect.”

“My bad that I didn’t wanna be running around, pushing drugs for you for the rest of my school life.” I argue, Chook pulling faces as I speak in response. Deciding that this is an argument not worth having today, after all, it’s one we’ve had many times before.

“Yeah, all good brah.” Cash chimes in, answering Chook’s question to put an end to our petty argument before we can take it even further. Before we can get physically violent, even if it is only in a playful manner.

“You two best get going hey, maximize profit and all that.”

Cash doesn’t need any further instruction, hopping on his motorbike after passing me his fanny pack to store in the bag on the back. Something he always does in order to ensure that all his supply is kept perfectly safe while he drives. I’d consider it smart if I didn’t know it was drugs he was keeping safe. Chook jumps in his car, nodding in our direction as he flies out of the car park with Jayden and Tilla shouting out of the window at us. I can’t help but smile at their antics.

Cash offers me a hand on to the back of his bike, hiking my tiny dress up even further so that I can throw my leg over the vehicle. Wrapping my arms around his waist tightly, he watches in his mirror for me to nod before taking off. A habit he picked up when he first began to drive me around on what I like to call his ‘death trap’.

Dance music is belting from the many speakers when we arrive at the cemetery, a fire pit glowing in the middle of the makeshift dance floor as people crowd around it. The sun is already setting as we arrive, illuminating the party in a way that looks angelic. Upon reaching one of the many piles of drinks, it’s hard to notice Amerie dancing crazily, along with Darren, Quinni and Malachai. I point it out to Cash, the pair of us surprised that she has any friends left considering her actions.

Parting ways with the eshay I find taking a swig from one of the numerous vodka bottles before grabbing a bottle of bus, watching as Cash immediately begins to get to work, Sasha instantly running over to him the moment she spots him alone. Rolling my eyes, I plant myself further away from the party, sat with my back against one of the decrepit headstones.

I’ve always been more of an introvert. Opting to be a wallflower and observe rather than be the center of attention, unlike my fellow classmates who all seem to thrive when the spotlight is on them. I hate Amerie for forcing me into that spotlight.

Between sips of the slightly warm lager, I begin to roll myself a joint, figuring I may as well attempt to have a good time at the party. Even if it isn’t my ideal Tuesday night. I couldn’t let Cash come on his own though, not when he’s working for my brother.

“You are a bad girl Y/N Y/L/N.” Ant’s voice shouts from a short distance away, strolling towards me with a cheeky grin slapped across his face. “What is this? The second time I’ve caught you smoking now?”

“Right well I was just about to offer to share this with you but I guess not now.” I joke, lighting it up as Ant flops down beside me. “And technically, I haven’t even smoked this yet so you’ve only caught me once.”

“It totally counts!” Ant argues, waiting patiently as I take a couple of puffs before handing him the joint. “How’d your brother take it when he found out about the map?”

“You’re safe if that’s what you’re asking. I haven’t told him and he’s not the type of bloke that answers the phone when Woodsy rings.” He hands the joint back to me, fingers brushing mine tenderly. “Your mum?

“Not great. Amerie really fucked things up for me, I have to go to church three more times a week now, all because of one wristy and well you know.”

“Did you tell her the truth about us?” I inquire, wondering if he did come clean completely about our situationship of sorts.

“Nah, I told her it was just the once.” He admits, glancing at me sheepishly, almost embarrassed to recount the memory. “Figured that was better than telling her the truth. I may have also turned her that you were my girlfriend at the time, you know, to kind of make it better. Not that she approves of premarital sex or anything and I know we didn’t label what we were but it sounded better in the moment. I hope that’s okay.”

“Lying to your mother Anthony, that’s not very christian of you!” I gasp, to which he snatches the joint back out of my hand in retaliation, laughing along with me.

“Fuck yourself.” Ant chuckles, blowing the smoke directly in my face without any warning, causing me to descend into a fit of coughs.

“What’s the deal with you and Cash anyway? You two a thing now?” Ant’s not looking up at me when he speaks, all his attention fixated on the crowd of teenagers partying in the distance. Anxiously pulling blades of grass from the ground beneath me, I continue to gaze at him, a sigh falling from my lips as I had hoped he hadn’t noticed the line between Cash and my name. It was inevitable that it was going to come up, I had just hoped it would be something that people skirted around, not asking any direct questions.

“Nah.” The word is faint, shaking my head, my eyes fall on the boy in question, completely unaware that we are speaking about him as he stands in conversation with Darren. “We’re just mates.”

The boy nods besides me though I can tell he doesn’t truly believe me, still unable to look in my direction. Nudging him slightly, I give a small smile when he does hesitantly face me. “We hooked up once a few weeks ago, I was pretty much black out and he was just there. It was a fucking stupid decision.”

“Just mates though?” Ant asks, more of a rhetorical question, as if to reassure himself, much to my confusion as I can’t see why it would matter to him whether we were just mates or not. “Okay but who was better?”

Bloodshot eyes and a lazy smile indicate to me that the joint has hit him quicker than either of us expected. Warm blush present on his cheeks, his head tipped back against the headstone , gazing up at the stars that begin to light up the late summer skies.

“You’re so stoned.” I comment, completely dodging the question in the hopes that he’s too high to remember what he had even asked.

“Just like old times, yeah.”

Ant’s fingers brush over my hand just barely, the touch so slight that I wouldn’t have felt it had I not been looking in that direction. Thumb softly tracing circles across the back of my palm, skin feeling as though its been set alight with every small movement. Turning my head, I find Ant already staring at me, mouth curved upwards into a slight smile.

“I wish I never cooked it with you.”

Despite knowing that he is as high as a kite, his words still manage to catch me off guard. Forcing me to pull away, leaning back to take him in properly. From his somber expression to the deep intensity with which he looks at me, awaiting a reaction.

“Cops!” Before I can respond, shouts from the party grab my attention. Head spinning round to see the chaos unfolding, teenagers running in every direction, some scream, whilst others laugh. “Cops! The cops are coming!”

“Oh shit.”

Discarding the bottle I had been nursing, I hop to my feet within seconds, Ant, who now looks surprisingly sober, does the same. Without hesitation, he is grabbing my hand before we take off in a sprint, running in the opposite direction of the flashing lights and sirens that are rolling up to the gatho. As the crowds disperse, I find myself scanning through the seas of people, looking for a certain eshay that would get into a lot of trouble, should he be caught. “Where’s Cash?” Voice breathy, I force Ant and I to a halt, searching my entire field of vision for any sign of him, head spinning so fast that I’m shocked I didn’t give myself vertigo. “Ant, I can’t see him. Where’s Cash?”

“Y/N we need to go.”

With his free hand, Ant easily slides it around my waist, using all his strength to pry my feet from the pavement. Regardless of my unwillingness, I allow the boy to lead us away from the party. Not wanting to run the risk of getting caught, so instead I recite prayers in my head that Cash also hasn’t been caught.

Upon reaching the locked gate, Ant wastes no time in easily pushing me up so that I can scramble over the metal. He does so with ease, a proud display of his strength and it makes me blush. Reminiscing on the ways he used that strength before.

Running hand in hand down the noiseless streets of Sydney, I find myself giggling at tonight’s events. The prospect of an exciting, if slightly chaotic year eleven rises upon the horizon and I can’t help but display my enthusiasm at seeing where the next few months take me. (Hopefully, with Ant by my side, but nobody needs to know that.)

[bbsxsaa]

honey wake up, there’s more bird psycho lore 🥺

[mia-maybank]

My predictions for heartbreak high season 3

-A backstory on Ant's homelife and how the map affected it -it feels like they built it up all s1 then s2 Ant was drunk or high 90% of his screentime so it feels like he was substance abusing to escape his family issues? Idk but I'm praying they give us this type of storyline in s3.

-Malakai realising he was infact just running from his problems so he comes back -he needs to address everything properly and finally have some happiness because the poor guy has been dragged through the mud in the previous seasons.

-Miss Obah helping Spider with his mother and Woodsy helping Ant with his homelife -Miss Obah makes it pretty clear she doesn't like Spider and it seems like Woodsy just sees Ant as a class clown so I think it would be interesting for them to both realise they are actually just struggling kids with shitty parents.

-Quinni and Sasha becoming close friends & Sasha redemption arc -with Sasha being vice captain they will be working together a lot, which will be interesting with them being exes. It would also be a good chance for Quinni to help Sasha realise her opinions or the way she goes about expressing her opinions is toxic and help her change for the better.

-Miss Obah talking Spider through a panic attack -because lets be real Spider bottles all his emotions and vulnerability up so it's bound to come crashing down at somepoint, plus it would be a good way to make Miss Obah realise that Spider's just hurt rather than the complete dickhead she thinks he is. It would also probably be the first time Spider has an adult figure look out and care for him and that would be good for him.

-Cash forcing Darren to sit down and communicate properly -because I love Darren but they definitely don't know what healthy communication is and to be endgame (which if they aren't I will personally riot) they both need to sit down and fully figure their shit out.

-Missy and Ant friendship -with Missy dating Spider and Ant being Spider's bestfriend it's kind of a given and she would be a healthy person to give advice to Ant.

-Missy, Spider and Ant having that dynamic where Ant is basically Missy and Spider's child -because Spider already has such a soft spot for him and I can just see them both giving him advice together and looking after him, especially if Ant gets a storyline about his parents being neglectful.

-Lots of Ant and Spider friendship screentime -in the first two seasons they are practically attached at the hip so the writers better keep it that way for my sanity.

-Malakai's reaction to Missy dating Spider as well as Spider apologising to Malakai if (when) he comes back and Malakai being shook by the fact that Spider's actually changed - it would be a good way to show Spider's really trying to change plus I feel like Malakai's reaction to Missy and Spider being together would be so funny.

-A scene where Malakai is hurt because he thinks Amerie just ignored his letter and Amerie is like "what letter?" -the writers have literally set this up by burning the letter and I'm now terrified.

-Dusty coming back to Hartley -they could so easily make up a reason for Dusty to come back and I think it would be interesting to see how he fits back in now Spider is growing to be a better person.

-Ant finding out Harper made the map too and being upset about it since it literally outed him and Spider going full protective best friend mode -the fact that everybody still fully blames Amerie just doesn't sit right with me and with Ant probably being the most affected by the map (considering his Christian parents) and with him falling for Harper he would definitely feel the most betrayed.

-Ant coming out to Spider properly or having a conversation with him about his sexuality -I think the writers just completely forgot that Ant is canonically not straight and it would be nice for it to be acknowledged, even in a small way.

-Cash self harm storyline and the others finding out the meaning of his name -This was set up with the writers revealing the meaning of his name at the end of s2 so it makes sense.

-Spider having less trust in teachers after Voss, leading to Woodsy and Miss Obah finding out Voss slapped Spider -because he literally slapped a child surely the wiriters won't forget about it and just move on??

-Ant breaking down sobbing in Spider's arms or vice versa -they are each others first point of comfort so it makes sense they will lean on eachother throughout their family issues. Plus I could so imagine a scene of Spider just completely breaking down in Ant and Missy's arms because he seriously does just bottle everything up until he explodes.

[1asbrightasthestars3]

One thing I particularly like about the heartbreak high gang is that everyone there hates each other but they're like a big group of friends. (SPOILERS!!)

Let me explain.

Season one (1) . we got the obvious groups, Dusty, Ant and spider,

Amarie, Darren and Quinni,

Sasha, Missy and Harper etc etc

Then we can clearly see everyone's hatred towards Amarie, Spider refusing to sell her tickets and humiliating her every chance he gets, Darren first makes fun of her, Harper hitting her and not talking to her, Sasha and Missy not speaking to her and bully her as well , yada yada yada

But you can still see the moments where they are all together with her, it starts with Darren helping her fix her bangs, then we have Ant not being really mean to her.. more disappointed about what she did and the way he got in trouble with his parents, we got Malakai "befriending" her despite everything that's going on, overall you can see how despite everyone hating her they do help her when needed, for example the time dusty made that rumor about her and JoJo, everyone teamed up and helped. Another example of that episode is Amarie going over to Ant while he's working out and just demands him to buy snacks and shit, no questions asked. (+Missy & spider teasing him about eating at all)

And it's not just with Amarie, Spider protects Ant, Harper joking around with him about Darren and their fling, Ant and Spider hyping Missy up, all of them calling each other nicknames which simply will not happen if they didn't like each other at all, it will all just be mockery.

It's all very friendly when you really think about it. It's less like a class and more like a Hugh group of friends who hate each other but will secretly do anything to protect each other.

We also see it in season two (2) . For example Ant kissing Malakai's cheek, congratulating him about his new relationship with Rowan or Darren supporting Malakai after coming out and helping him figure out his feelings for Rowan. And after they break up we can see Missy coming over to Malakai, helping him get over the breakup although they aren't really close. Or them dropping everything to help Quinni (while I can promise you if it was my class they would leave her there to rot)

In conclusion, they are all very important to each other's lives and I find that really beautiful because at the end they do help each other when needed and if we're being real that wouldn't have happened in real life.

(tell me I'm not the only one who sees that.)

[awh0reforlouist91]

now that s3 of 💔heartbreak high💔 has been announced here are my 💞hopes and dreams🌙 for the season

- i want my girl harper to be on a path of healing and healing only - and a cute love story because she deserves love - but also platonic love, many scenes with amerie, ca$h and quinni - maybe a few more scenes with woodsy so she can get the maternal figure she deserves - now a season without amerie drama? not possible BUT no new love story - let her be a friend to harper, darren, quinni, let her be supportive - and the season has to end with amerie/malakai endgame!! i will riot otherwise - malakai my love i hope he stays away for at least half the season and that he can deal with his own undealt trauma in peace - and then when he comes back he is a bit more stable and happy with himself - but i want scenes with him in switzerland of his life there - and his friendship with missy in texts phone calls and memes - speaking of missy please please let her still be the bad bitch she is - and more of her in general pls and thank you - i just know they will give us one episode (maybe two if we're lucky) of dating missy/spider before a dramatic break up and then we have to wait and see if theyre making them endgame - but i want them to be endgame - i want to know more about spiders life - and him realising and changing his views and attitudes - and him speaking french pls thankyou - quinni my queen i want her to absolutely smash it as president - and most importantly i want her to discover herself who she is - also quinni sasha friendship??? thats gonna be so interesting since they dated - also sasha pls give her more screentime she is such a complex character with so much potential - darren and ca$h as much as i love them i kinda don't want them to be end game? don't hate me - also chook pls stay away from ca$h - but also wanna know more about the backstory with them what we know so far broke my heart - and i hope that ant gets more backstory as well - and out of the himbo comic relief role - i wanna see his home life, his family he mentioned them quiet a lot in s1 - also ant and harper friendship!! i loved them in s2 - and more ant spider friendsihp bc they fucked right??? RIGHT??? - and i think thats it lol

[dedenneblogs]

HEARTBREAK HIGH S2 ANALYSIS PART 1 (buckle up this is going to be a doozy)

so... it's out (the trailer).

my excitement cannot be expressed...

BUTT! today, i will be doing my iconic mouse analysis of this trailer (this is actually the first time im doing something like this so it's not rlly iconic BUTT it will be soon) with the most comprehensive inspection i can using under 2 minutes of video as a basis....

with that said lets

BEGIN!

the heartbreak highers are back for another "cursed" term....

so glad to see the trio back in action. like. actually so happy. MIGHT explode from excitement... as always, their outfits slaylay.

the boyfriends... friends? boys? BUGS??? found out on hh s2!

these goons are back... gayer then ever,,, seriously. when will these two have an episode long make out 'sesh? unlikely, to much dismay....spoiler alert...you'll see....

MISSY!!!!! and sasha, i guess

SPOILER ALERT AGAINNNN missy looks like she'll be more prominent in this season so...WIN!!!!

also why is she mewing who is rizzing up

and new on the the chopping block-- Rowan Callaghan!

we'll get to rowan when we get to rowan

in other (more important) news-- SHE'S HEALING! HARPER IS HEALING!!!

i... *sobs* i she's growing her hair out oh my GAW...... she's getting better...she... there's a lower chance she'll cock-block amerie (oh but she'll get cock [spoiler-- again!])

butt let's not celebrate just yet-- it's still "everyone hates amerie" up in this joint, smellas

may as well... shot them. huh. well. pop off, i suppose... (amerie asserts her right to bear arms-- truly patriotic coming from an aussie!)

...touché coming from the (still) most hated student in heartly who only adds salt to the wound by... using the pink 'ildo from s1 as a mic... chat... she's lost it.

(unrelated but in the background-- MISSY AND MALAKAI!!! they were building up a relationship between them in s1 and how she and her brother (i think? 'memory's fuzzy) helped him heal from the shit he had to go through in s1 and even better connect him with his aboriginal roots. i hope to see more of these two interact come april 11th and i binge the whole season)

ALSO also ANOTHER new character-- Zoe Clarke!

we will ALSo get to zoe when we get to zoe

anywho-- cue: AMERIE'S ONLINE HARASSMENT ARC! becuz every show needs one...unfortunately. Give a cold welcome to Bird Psycho, heartbreak highers (we will get to bird psycho when we get to bird psycho)

(who ever is doing this shit is a bitch but either way: "you dont get to be the hero" shut your goofy ass up)

oh that's gore. that's core of my comfort character.

ok so maybe this bird psycho cuck isnt fucking around because clearly he's gotten to our girl ams :(

(dw they uh...take her out for ice cream. after this. proabably.)

moving foward-- STAND BACK I SAID STAND BACK WEIRD GIRL QUINNI

oughh im gonna be sick. of course. OF COURSE SHE WOULD GO FULL SHERLOCK HOLMES TO HELP HER BESTIE.

yeah anyways with this in mind she'd totally try and crack the fnaf lore wouldn't she. wouldn't she.

she's slay she's girlboss but at the end of the day she's a weirdo

anywho nuff of my rambling there--

ominous of you to say zoe

BUT ENOUGH OF HER CA$$HHHHHHHHHHHH

ca$h omg eshay eshay eshay pspspspsp,,,

i am so happy to see him (spoiler alert for 2 secs throughout the whole trailer) but anywho remeber? remeber right he's in prison. but seems to be doing okay... (maybe for the best heartly drama is really coming to a boiling point)

<3

and-- oh. uh... chicken dumbell... okay... pop off, missy...

when i said i wanted more missy i didnt expect this

spider seems to be into tho maybe what ??1/1/111.1/?!??!/1/1/1

missy x spider was NOT on my bingo card

WHEN MISSY SAID SHE WAS STARTING TO LIKE WHITE BOYS I DIDNT THINK SHE MEANT THIS.

BUUTTTttttt-- i. am. down. for. it... somehow. frankly, spider needs someone to put him in his place and low and behold, missy seems to be the student to do so..........

hey. if they're both happy with their...chicken dumbells, i am too.

amerie dont be alarmed but there's a white boy to your right

in other news this love triangle scares the diarrhea out of me

look at them. they're the perfect couple (malakai x amerie 4life) and rowan is--

well he's a nice boy but cmon

LOOK AGAIN IM DOWN FOR THEM TO BE HAPPY BUTT when it comes in between THE BEST SHIP IN THE SHOW (looks at amerie x spider shippers with affectionate disdain) i draw the line.

but who knows? rowan seems nice enough, and if he's able to make amerie happy, let them have each other! <3

also knowing malakai's track record i wouldn't put it past him to get freaky with rowan too (threesome attempt 2??? actually no wait thats a horrible idea NEVERMIND [gets s1 ep4 flashbacks])

also also "classic love triangle" scene gives major "erm...well this is akward!" vibes from ams (we stan cringey amerie in this household tho)

and well. shart. max limit of 30 photos. oh well-- ill make a second part! tune in for the update heartbreak highers :3

[maroonangels]

heartbreak high characters as textposts 13/?

[i-smoke-chapstick]

currently watching xo, kitty- and theres this one scene with Q and Florian where Kitty comes to ask Q for help (interrupting Q and Florians lil makeout sesh) and as Kitty continues talking, Florian keeps kissing Q’s neck. And let me just say, this is SUCH a Spider thing to do.

Like idc what you ship, Spider x Ant, Spider x Amerie, Spider x Malakai, Spider x Harper, IDC!!

but if Spider is making out w someone and someone else comes up needing their help, Spider is 100% still SOOO focused on them, kissing down their neck even as they are preoccupied ! I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE

Like imagine trying to have a conversation w your friend in dire need of help and Spider is just still kissing your neck while it happens. RAHH

[paintedwingz]

part 2/???

I REACHED 30 TAGS???

[jjxkiaraxpopexcleoxjohnbxsarah]

My newest fanfic

Spider sighs, his arms crossed as Woodsy, JoJo and Voss leave the nurse's room, leaving only him and a highly emotional Ant. He walks towards the younger guy who's sitting with his knees drawn up to his chest, the blanket doing nothing to stop the shivers racking through his body. Of course it won't do anything because those trembles aren't from any physical pain.

"Ant?" Spider says, unusually soft and calm as he sits next to Ant,"Is it alright if I touch you?"He waits for a few moments before Ant gives the slightest of nods not looking up from the floor. Spencer frowns in concern, wrapping an arm around his shaking shoulders, gently rubbing Ant's arm with his thumb as the shorter kid leans his head on Spencer's own shoulder."It's going to be fine yeah, everyone's gonna forget about it by lunch anyways and if they don't then i'll beat the crap outta them."

Keep Reading🕷&🐜

[lansangprincess]

What I Want to See in HBH S3!⋆·˚ ༘ *

note that this is a list not to be mistaken as things i expect to see in s3

the introduction of a new trans character !

the introduction of a new character who will have a cutesy and fun lovey storyline for quinni <33

harthony uno reverse card—harper starts to realize she has feelings for ant but is scared to confess bc she's still dealing w her trauma and doesnt want to lose him

ant main storyline !! we find out a lot more about his home life (this is for the bitches w religious trauma, it's me im bitches) and find out what his ethnic background is bc i realized that ive been assuming he's wasian this whole time but it's never actually been said

i miss a parent-child storyline actually (like darren and their dad had in s1). i think quinni would be great for this

chook in jail jfc

sasha home life—could be redemption, could be not. im chill either way, i kinda enjoy getting annoyed at her (just no more ableism pls). if she does get redemption tho could she pls tap into more of her succulent chinese meal, dinussy side like she is so hilarious when she's not being a performative activist lmao

less spider screentime im sorry like hurrayy he's been redeemed but i want to highlight the other characters now

missy&darren storyline. i dont even know what kind of storyline but i just feel like theyd be so entertaining together constantly roasting people

verbally canonizing that ant and harper are queer/pan (established) and spider's demi (new revelation)

ca$h/darren & missy/spider double date could be fun and random. maybe they bump into each other at a carnival or smthn and compete against each other at ring toss idk

another classic hbh mystery to be solved BUT THIS TIME, amerie isn't a main character of it

✧˚ ·the entire main group doing karaoke✧˚ ·

A few more thoughts...

i miss malakai already but i think it would be too narratively convenient for him to come back at the start of the season so i dont want to have any expectations for his (and the amerie/malakai) storyline. imma let the writers take me wherever they want me to go

what i dont want to see is a new love interest for my amerie like i feel bad for the new plot device dressed as a white blond boy that will be tossed away once the amerkai endgame is done cooking

no more darren&quinni angst no more darren&quinni angst no more darren&quinni angst no more darren&quinni angst 😭

what i want to hear in a new season of hbh is some chappell roan like imagine HOT TO GO! playing in hbh it would be amazing

[aussiellama]

Spider : I have a problem.

Ant: If it's harder than 2+2, I can't help.

Ant: Did you have to stab them?

Harper : You weren’t there. You didn’t hear what they said to me.

Ant: What did they say?

Harper : "What are you going to do, stab me?"

Ant: That’s fair.

Harper : I think you're still suffering the effects of your party last night.

Ant: All I drank was Redbull!

Harper : How many?

Ant: Eighteen.

Harper : *Answers phone.* Hello?

Ant: It's Ant.

Harper : What did they do this time?

Ant: No, it's me, Harper . It's actually me.

Harper : What did you do this time?

Ant: If this plan goes down the drain, where should we regroup?

Harper : The afterlife, I guess.

Ant: Harper , you were so wasted last night.

Harper : I wasn't that drunk!

Ant: ...You called a taxi home.

Harper : Yeah! It's called being responsible!

Ant: The party was at your house.

Harper : ...Crap.

Ant: Being half asleep and feeling someone gently plant a kiss on your forehead is one of the purest kinds of love in the world.

Harper : Unless you're home alone.

Missy: I would say I outdid myself, but I’m always this good, so I simply did myself.

Spider, to Missy: Please, picking locks is my specialty.

Spider: *throws a brick through the window*

Spider: Okay, let’s go.

Spider: Well, Missy and I finally did it!

The rest of the squad: *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.*

Spider: That's right... We kissed!

Spider: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?

Missy: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out on bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

Amerie: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this...

Malakai: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card?

Amerie: Holy moly-

Malakai : I like your new pants!

Ant: Thanks, they were 50% off!

Malakai : I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks*

Ant: The store can’t just give away clothes for free.

Malakai : Thats’s… not what I meant.

Ant: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Malakai .

Spider : Ant, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right?

Ant, naked in Spider 's bed: No, I absolutely do not.

Spider , already taking off his clothes: Fuck... Me neither.

Ant: What are you in the mood for?

Spider : World domination.

Ant: That's a bit ambitious.

Spider : You are my world.

Ant: Aww...

Spider :

Ant:

Spider :

Ant: OH