#said character is a woman but there is not much additional info I have about her

[mist-the-wannabe-linguist]

Looking for help with naming a character 🙏

This one is for an Inheritance Cycle OC who comes from the Wandering Tribes (same as Ajihad and Nasuada). Paolini pretty clearly based them on irl North African cultures (Tuareg, Nubian, Hausa...) and I'd like to give the character an actual name from one of those cultures instead of just making something up as the author seemed to have done, but so far my research has been unsuccessful. If this reaches anyone from these cultures or anyone who has good sources, I'd greatly appreciate any help🙏

[zuzu-draws]

So after the spoilers for Chap 257 dropped, I saw some tweets clarifying the meaning of the Kanji Sukuna used in the chapter when referring to his mother, and the overall reveals in the chapter got me thinking.

I’m making this post as a way of gathering my thoughts, personal speculations and where I think all of this connects to Sukuna’s character and the information Gege has given us over the years. Nothing I say is by any means new information, but like I said, I’m just collecting my thoughts here. By the way, just a warning, this post contains SPOILERS for the JJK Manga! If you don’t like that, please don’t read this!

Something I’ve noticed is that the theme of “Hunger” and symbolism of “Cooking/Food” is heavily referenced with Sukuna throughout the Manga. Gege in a previous Fanbook has disclosed Sukuna’s favorite Hobby to be “Eating”.

This theme is again very much ingrained within Sukuna’s cursed techniques and even his Domain Expansion, the “Malevolent Shrine”. With his two main techniques being “Dismantle” and “Cleave” are cutting-type attacks. He is also able to use a Flame-Arrow, and Fire is essential for making Food. The Shrine in his Domain Expansion literally has mouths on all sides, looking eager to chew down anything in-front of them!

This symbolism also heavily influences Sukuna’s own manner of speech, and the way he speaks to other characters in the series as well. With his post-fight chat with Jogo before his death, Sukuna mentions Jogo lacking the “Hunger” to take control of his desires, preventing him from reaching the heights of Gojo Satoru. Before the Start of their fight in Shinjuku, Sukuna called Gojo a “Nameless Fish on top of his cutting board”, and that he was going to start by “Peeling off the scales”(refering to Gojo’s infinity). There’s also further symbolism that supports this by analyzing the Kanji and meaning of Sukuna’s “Malevolent Shrine” but I’m not very educated on that so I won’t be opening that point here.

What all of this points to is that Eating and Food……is extremely important to Sukuna, to the point that it literally affects him in manners innumerable.

Eating is an instinct, a necessity for the survival of every single living being.

And In the face of extreme Hunger and starvation, even those with the strongest will could lose their Humanity and revert to the basic animalistic side of their existence. (The Heian Period also had a Famine, although I believe the timing to be a bit off, but do with this info as you see fit)

In JJK Chapter 257, it is revealed to us that Sukuna and his Twin were most likely starving in the womb of their starving mother.

On the brink of starvation, Sukuna had to consume his “other self”(his twin), so that he could survive.

Btw, this tweet and this thread gives additional characterisation to Sukuna:

Link to the original thread: Link.

More context (and reactions :P):

Link to original thread: Here

This reveals to us that indeed, Sukuna was born a twin. And as we all know, “Twins” are seen with extreme scrutiny in Jujutsu Society, they’re not well liked. This too in a period where Cursed Spirits and Jujutsu Sorcery was at its peak, it is not far-fetched to assume that his Mother may not have been treated very well by the people in her surroundings, especially as she bore twins.

When Kashimo asks if Sukuna was born the Strongest or if he made himself the Strongest, this is the response Sukuna gave to him:

When you think about it, how do you think the people around them would have reacted when the woman: who was supposed to birth two twins, gave birth to a single child instead? and that child had consumed his other twin in the womb itself?

No doubt people would’ve been horrified, disgusted and even revulsed. With the woman and her newborn child.

This would’ve led to their further ostracisation in the already very close-minded society. Unable to fend for herself and her newborn child, it must’ve been difficult for Sukuna’s mother to survive. I feel like somewhere along the line, Sukuna was left alone to fend for himself at an extremely young age. To protect himself from both Curses and Society alike.

This is why I believe Sukuna knows what true starvation, weakness and hunger feels like. Both in the emotional and literal sense. He was left without another person caring about him or his well-being, in a cut-throat period where it was “Fight or be killed”.

Powerful curses roamed all across Japan, nowhere was safe. Simply be strong, or you'll die. There's no room for weakness. And initially, a kid!Sukuna was weak, as anyone would be in the beginning when they're just starting out in this world. (and maybe, he didn't have much to eat, leading to long periods of starvation? :') )

I believe it is this debilitating hunger, and feeling of weakness that eventually led to Sukuna’s current Hedonistic mindset.

He’s essentially traumatised by it, and believes that it was his own weakness that led him to experience this sheer starvation. That he deserved to feel this way because he was weak then. Perhaps, the people around him were right, that as long as they have the power and strength to overcome anything, they’re free to do as they please; And there is nothing anyone else could do about it.

I feel like the irony here is that Sukuna himself, must’ve been a “weakling” before eventually rising the ranks to become History’s Strongest Sorcerer. This is also why he values Strength so much.

Ultimately, Sukuna has decided that there was nothing more important than being strong enough to fulfill your own desires. And “eating” is one of his most important desires. It’s his favourite thing to do, the one he derives the most pleasure out of. And like an animal, whose main focus is to consume, consume and consume. He too, simply consumes.

Most morals likely have no meaning to him. He doesn’t care who he hurts, what he does, as long as he’s able to get what he wants. And this isn’t limited to eating.

This is why people referring to Sukuna as a “Natural Disaster” is so befitting of him. Because Natural Disasters also don’t care about what or who they’re destroying, they just come and go, wreaking havoc appropriate for their nature and magnitude.

I believe Sukuna himself has said lines similar in nature, when talking to Kashimo:

Now I’m not sure how Sukuna perceives or even experiences this “Love”, because I think he has a rather very warped idea of it. I do think that this definition of love is similar to the one that Gojo also understands, but I don’t think he knows what “love” truly is. I’m not sure how I could comment on this, but I do think that Sukuna’s emotionally starved, whether he realises that or not.

Because, like Kashimo himself asked Sukuna “What is the point of dividing your soul into 20 different parts and then traversing across time if you’re satisfied with this?” we do not know the answer to that yet.

But many people have speculated that “Black Box” panels in JJK manga represent a curse (either self-inflicted or put by someone) on the speaker. Like, take a look over here where Sukuna reiterates the same dialogue, except it looks like he’s trying to reassure himself:

This once again shows that Sukuna has only ever strived for himself, in the same hedonistic fashion, to a very very extreme degree. It is possible that he's been lacking something, and he himself does not realise that he’s lacking it. Maybe it was this subconscious feeling, that led to Sukuna agreeing to Kenjaku’s plan of dividing his soul into 20 different parts, and to traverse across time as a Cursed Object.

Sukuna’s an incredibly complex character, and I’m excited to see where this goes. Gege has put extra care in the way he characterizes and depicts Sukuna, and again, I’m really sad that a lot of that characterization gets lost in translation. Still, I’m going to try my best to understand and get the most accurate feel of his character as I possibly can.

If you made it this far, Thank you for reading! And if you would like, please do leave a comment in the tags or replies because I would love to read what other people think of this and just Sukuna in general. I do not see a lot of people doing critical analysis of him, and a lot of his actions are seemingly swept under the rug. I don’t like that, so hopefully this contributes to people focusing more on Sukuna and his character. (/^v^)/ <3

[lotusflowerbreakingthesurface]

❝Zhang Qiling's Birthday Congratulations❞

𝓗𝓪𝓹𝓹𝔂 𝓫𝓲𝓻𝓽𝓱𝓭𝓪𝔂, 𝓧𝓲𝓪𝓸𝓰𝓮! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝⋆✧˚

On this special month, let's get to know 'the soul character' of Daomu Biji, the one who always gives Wu Xie a sense of security, Zhang Qiling aka Men You Ping aka Xiaoge in a deeper understanding. Who doesn't know him? He is one of the protagonists and the spiritual leader of the Iron Triangle!

©Divider by @saradika-graphics

Source: NPSS's WeChat or here

Since Daomu Biji is in Wu Xie's first person POV, it's difficult to know what Xiaoge is thinking and what kind of character Xiaoge is. Let's get to know him bit by bit through some info that I found in Chinese fandom and my meta hehe. Please note that I'm not fluent in Chinese, so this post contains a heavy amount of MTL, and people tend to have a different perception and understanding of things, so just take it easy, okay? (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

※ Contents List ※

Zhang Qiling's Appearance

Zhang Qiling's Body Type

Zhang Qiling's Personality

Zhang Qiling's Character Origin/Prototype

Zhang Qiling's Character Development (a simple meta by me)

First of all, let's take a look at the character "Zhang Qiling" according to Chinese sites and other sites as well.

Source: Baidu [I only took some parts of it, for more info about Zhang Qiling, please visit the site]

The author Nanpai Sanshu mentioned in an interview that Xiaoge is the kindest, wisest, mysterious and powerful character in the whole book. In addition, in the original text of DaoBi (Daomu Biji), Xiaoge has maintained a young appearance for decades. The author calls him "the complete body of immortality", so he will not suffer from the sequelae of immortality such as "corpse transformation", which can be said to be a perfect immortal.

❆ 𝑨𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 ❆

He has a pair of calm (indifferent) and clear eyes—Daomu Biji Vol. 2: Heavenly Palace on the Clouds (Part 1) Ch. 48 (MereBear's Translation), Wu Xie's Private Notes Ch. 9 (MereBear's Translation)

Reference: A photo of a young man appeared on the slide. He was silent, calm, and his eyes were as clear as clear water. He was carrying something on his back and walking normally. His eyes were looking in the direction of the camera. He obviously saw the person taking the photo, but he didn't care at all.—Sand Sea 3 Ch. 28 | Ch. 139 (MereBear's Translation)

Good-looking

Reference: "Why don't we just find a wife for him and marry him off to a rich woman? With his looks, I think we can make some money."—Daomu Biji Vol. 6: Ancient Building Under the Dark Mountain Ch. 1 (MereBear's Translation)

Well-proportioned, handsome, and eye-catching (wearing a suit)

Reference: Men You Ping has a well-proportioned figure and a blank expression. He looks very handsome in a suit and is extremely eye-catching."—Daomu Biji Vol. 7: Stone Shadow in Qiong Cave Ch. 5 (MereBear's Translation)

His face is quite distinctive

Reference: Xiaoge's face is actually quite distinctive. He is not someone who would be lost in the crowd.—Tibetan Sea Flower 1 Ch. 21 (MereBear's Translation)

Wu Xie is the ultimate beauty that can be seen in the world, and Zhang Qiling is invisible to the world——too corny (NPSS's interview) [I think what it means by "invisible to the world" refers to the inner beauty, his kindness perhaps? But this kind of answer should be a joke lol]

He is 180cm tall, fair-skinned, silent, with dark hair and dark pupils, his eyes half covered by his hair (NPSS's interview)

❆ 𝑩𝒐𝒅𝒚 𝑻𝒚𝒑𝒆 ❆

He has a lot of muscle mass

Reference: Xiaoge's weight is actually moderate, and he has a lot of muscle mass. So even though he looks lean and well-proportioned, his actual weight feels much heavier than the last time I helped him.—Daomu Biji Vol. 8: Finale Ch. 56 (MereBear's Translation)

He has a high muscle fiber density

Reference:

Liang Wan was able to touch patient Zhang’s arm while giving him a routine examination. Although his muscles weren’t very exaggerated, the density of the fibers was beyond comprehension.—Sand Sea 1: Introduction Part 2 (MereBear's Translation)

He [the doctor] then proceeded to squeeze Men You Ping's muscles, "Your muscle fiber density is even better than that of athletes. What kind of exercises do you do?"—Notes in Rain Village 2 Ch. 20 (MereBear's Translation)

❆ 𝑷𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 ❆

Silent, indifferent, alienated, and easily misunderstood

Reference: If you are not in the same group as Men You Ping, you will feel very uncomfortable with him, and you will feel more and more uncomfortable. People who know him know that he is just taking a nap when he leans there, but people who don't know him think that this gloomy guy is full of bad intentions and ready to torture them.—Sand Sea 4 Ch. 208 (MereBear's Translation)

Strong action, perseverance, and fearlessness

Reference: He is a man who keeps moving forward for his purpose. Even if there are countless barbs on the road he walks on, he will keep moving forward, regardless of any harm along the way, until all his flesh is scraped off by the barbs or he reaches his destination alive.—Daomu Biji Vol. 8: Finale Ch. 75 (MereBear's Translation)

Spiritual leader and give a sense of security

Reference: He often has a blank expression on his face, but once his expression changes, it usually means he is about to face a critical situation. In the ancient tomb, he acts as the spiritual leader of the team, and his companions obey his instructions, always giving those around him a sense of security.—Daomu Biji Vol. 1 (Part 2): Angry Sea, Hidden Sands

Strong heart and the king of fighting

Reference: Ma Pingchuan thought it very strange that he was having a serious conversation with a teenager, and he even felt overwhelmed by the child's aura.—Tibetan Sea Flower 1 Ch. 3 (MereBear's Translation)

Act cautiously and carefully, clear the way and lead the way

Reference: He leaped in front of the mummy without hesitation, and looked at his mouth first. Finding that there was nothing in his mouth, he put his hands under the corpse's armpits and pressed it down.—Daomu Biji 1 (Part 2): Angry Sea, Hidden Sands Ch. 62 (MereBear's Translation)

Mysterious and unique

Reference: There had to be something strange about those seven bridges-if you got on the wrong one, you'd likely encounter a disaster. In order to avoid this trouble, Poker-Face chose another way-it really was his style to never follow the path others had arranged.—Daomu Biji Vol. 8: Finale Ch. 59 (Merebear's Translation)

Calm and resilient

Reference: I remained silent. I didn't know what kind of person Menyouping was, but I could vouch for his psychological endurance. This kind of person's psychological quality has reached a certain level. It is very difficult to make him receive a great stimulus.—Daomu Biji Vol. 5: Snake Marsh Ghost City Ch. 60 (MereBear's Translation)

Selflessness, a strong sense of responsibility, saving people in distress, and silently dedicate to protect others

Reference: Men You Ping shook his head, "Your level of awareness is too low. If our theory is correct, then whatever happened is extremely dangerous. I am afraid you won’t be able to handle it. I'll keep watching all night, you should have a good rest."—Daomu Biji Vol. 5: Snake Marsh Ghost City Ch. 20 (MereBear's Translation)

Repay evil with kindness and respect life

Reference: An old man had died during our stay in the village, and Mem You Ping had also shown him a kind of attentiveness before he had died. When the old man fell asleep in the sun, Men You Ping would often stop and take a look at him.—Daomu Biji Extra: Fishing King Ch. 26 (Merebear's Translation)

[Note: I can only put one excerpt from the book as a supplement, but there are definitely many words worth your attention in the book :)]

❆ 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑶𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒊𝒏/𝑷𝒓𝒐𝒕𝒐𝒕𝒚𝒑𝒆 ❆

If we talk about Zhang Qiling's prototype, we should go back to the first draft of Daomu Biji that NPSS posted on QQ Space under the title 《阴间笔记•七星皇陵篇》 "Notes from the Underworld: The Seven-Star Imperial Tomb" and its outline setting (see here for details). Later, he posted the fanfiction of Ghost Blows Out the Light on its Post Bar under the title 《七星鲁王宫》 "Seven Stars Lu Palace" (the original post is gone now, but here is a little glimpse of it). As you may already know, Daomu Biji was started as a fanfiction of 《鬼吹灯》 "Ghost Blows Out the Light" by 天下霸唱 (Tianxia Bachang). People often regard it as the pioneer of the tomb-robbing novel due to its popularity back in its heyday and it has a huge influence on the same genre later on, Daomu Biji is no exception. In the Ghost Blows Out the Light, there are three major characters, Hu Bayi, Shirley Yang, and Wang Pangzi. Among those three characters, only Wang Pangzi shares the similarity to "Wang Pangzi" in Daomu Biji. Then, how about other characters? Is Zhang Qiling a gender-changed Shirley Yang?

According to this post by MuzzledIdealist, the answer is below:

Q: Is Zhang Qiling a gender-changed Shirley Yang?

A: I don’t know where the rumor that Zhang Qiling is a gender-changed Shirley Yang came from… His [NPSS's] first chapter was indeed a Ghost Blows Out the Light fanfiction serialized in the Ghost Blows Out the Light forum [Baidu Post Bar], but the first chapter was about the tomb-robbing in Changsha fifty years ago, and the names Zhang Qiling and Wu Xie did not appear at all. The protagonists of Xu Lei's [NPSS's] earliest writing plan were ZYN (370’s original name), "I" and "Sun Zhongwei" (see the character setting, it was later split into Pangzi, Pan Zi, and Wu Sanxing). The prototype of Zhang Qiling is 370. I never whitewash Xu Lei, although the initial story background borrowed from Ghost Blows Out the Light, Zhang Qiling and Wu Xie have always been original [characters].

In the fanfiction that was written by NPSS, there were no characters with the name "Zhang Qiling" and "Wu Xie". Zhang Qiling and Wu Xie have always been the original from DaoBi and it has nothing to do with Ghost Blows Out the Light. Even so, Zhang Qiling indeed has a real person prototype which appeared in that fanfiction, he is ZYN (I don't know if it's appropriate to put a real person's name here), he is a former classmate of NPSS.

[For more info, see 张起灵相关bot's post or here or here]

NPSS had a classmate and roommate in high school. His bed number was 370 (homonymous with Zhang Qiling), and later he was his deskmate. In [TEDxSISU Fever], Sanshu said that he was a rare person who could notice and understand him, and he was a very good friend. The author turned this "most important man" into the most important character in the novel, Zhang Qiling, and expressed his feelings for this close friend.

"Look at your current deskmate, that inconspicuous little boy back then, who has now spread the story of you and me to the whole world." ✦

ZYN who is the prototype of Zhang Qiling is a man, then how could Zhang Qiling set to be a female character? See the explanation below:

About Zhang Qiling who was supposed to be a woman disguised as a man was first mentioned in the lecture at Fudan University in 2013:

Source: 大头尸胎

However, there is a follow-up interview on March 11, 2023 which basically implied that it's actually not NPSS's idea to set him as the female lead and Zhang Qiling is a man from the beginning to the end.

Q: It has been rumored that Zhang Qiling was originally intended to be a female character? NPSS: This happened a long time ago. These were my thoughts when I was writing the first chapter, he was definitely intended to be a male character at the beginning. Many colleagues told me that he should be a female character and that I should write him as a female character. The seniors at that time were still quite traditional. The seniors in the magazines said that you need a female lead. I was wondering what to do. They said that you should just write Zhang Qiling as a female character. I hesitated at that time, but then I followed the whole process to write it. Because his prototype was my classmate, it was difficult to write him as a female character. It was hard to imagine. I also know very few female characters. In fact, I have been working hard to learn how to write a female character in recent years.

Source: Text | Video | Summary

I think NPSS has his own idea in his mind, when his senior colleague suggested adding a heroine and thought about making PingXie as an official pairing, he hesitated at first, but in the end, he did try it and even had the idea of disguising as the opposite gender (and perhaps to make it easier to write), but later he realized that Zhang Qiling can only exist as a man. He sticks to his words at this point, because I can tell that in the subsequent series, he used descriptions such as "has a lot of muscle mass", "almost inhuman speed", "incomparably strong", "weight feels much heavier", "has a high muscle fiber density", "carrying on one shoulder", "a body more perfect than an athlete", etc. Why do I feel like he works so hard to nullify the words "the body is soft as a woman's" in the earliest book? Does he feel guilty to his former classmate? ( ≖‿ ≖ )

The most interesting thing is that Zhang Qiling and his prototype share many similarities, such as being born in November, being a Scorpio, having a shoe size of 43, being 180 cm in height, and Uncle 370's (fans in Chinese fandom often called ZYN "370叔") wife's birthday is on March 5, which is also Wu Xie's birthday (˵ ¬ᴗ¬˵)

Source: MuzzledIdealist

❆ 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑫𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒍𝒐𝒑𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕 ❆

This is only a simple meta of Xiaoge's character development before and after he meets Wu Xie and Pangzi, which is also purely my personal opinion and does not represent NPSS's opinion. First of all, since I think that Zhang Qiling's character development is deeply influenced and inseparable from Wu Xie's character development, I labeled this meta as a cp-oriented analysis just in case. Nevertheless, I tried my best not to see it with shipping goggles though we don't need it. It's short and may not be perfect, I only read the books from the main story to the period of Notes in Rain Village (and extra stories) once, and it was over half a year ago. If there are any mistakes, I apologize. And if it's okay with you, here you go~

⚠︎ Warning: Spoilers! Spoilers! Spoilers!

What is so unique about Zhang Qiling (and Wu Xie) is that every stage of their life shows a different temperament (though I won't talk about all of them here, it would be too long). Zhang Qiling has lived for a long time and experienced many things.

Tibetan Sea Flower Online Q&A on August 31, 2024:

Q: Universe God, I want to ask you, when Xiaoge first saw Wu Xie being so friendly and kind to him, did he find it hard to believe that there are people in the world who simply cherish and love him without any ulterior motives?

A: Zhang Qiling can see through people's hearts at a glance. It's not that he is smart, but that he has seen too much. People are very simple to Zhang Qiling.

There is a change of heart before and after Xiaoge meets Wu Xie, as well as some behavioral changes when he gets out of the Bronze Door in ten years. It's difficult to see because we rarely have a glimpse of what Xiaoge is thinking through Wu Xie's perspective. However, it's not impossible to see as long as you pay attention carefully to his various actions. In ten years, his outer appearance may not change, but the core of his personality has changed to a certain extent, and he started to put value on many aspects of his life. In other words, he is no longer indifferent to some things. His world has gained a warm color.

Let's go back to his early days. In Three Days of Silence, there are three perspectives about Xiaoge. The first one is the perspective of the little lama's senior brothers, they said that he resembles a postman without destinations. Outsiders who don't know about Xiaoge think that Xiaoge lacks human nature, so he looks out of place in the human world. However, he is not without destinations. He knows clearly what he has to do because he had those so-called missions appear in his head before he had the chance to figure out who he was. The second is the little lama's perspective, he thought that Xiaoge is like Buddha who has no desire to think about worldly affairs. And the third is how the master denied that Xiaoge is like Buddha, people who are born without desires are stones.

Since the day he was born, Xiaoge's freedom has been taken away from him. This freedom was replaced with the Zhang family missions, making his life full of purpose, and yet it was not his own purpose. No one tells him to live his own life, and he doesn't even know how to do it, because from the very beginning he has been living this way.

In the subsequent narration, the master said that Xiaoge was like a stone, but Xiaoge eventually came to meet his mother. It was proof that he was not completely a stone, it was just that his desire as a human was hidden within himself. He needs a revelation to make him realize that it exists and that it's okay to feel it.

“You have to learn to think and miss that the first and last gift your mother gives you will be your heart that was hidden by those people.”

Even so, trusting and loving someone is not an easy task. The moment he understood what the master said, he lost his mother. It was the first time he could feel his connection with the world, but also the first time he lost it. He has a strong heart and resolve, so he was searching for this "connection" again, but the only thing he could find was all about the Zhang family's missions.

He continued, "I am a person without a past and a future. All I do is to find find my connection with this world. Where did I come from and why am I here?" He looked at his hands and said calmly, "Can you imagine that if someone like me disappears from this world, no one will find out, as if I have never existed in this world, without leaving any trace? Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I often doubt whether I really exist or am just a phantom of a person."—Daomu Biji Vol. 4: Snake Marsh Ghost City (Part II) Chapter 18 | Chapter 47 (MereBear's Translation)

In the process of searching, he had seen too much and gradually understood that what has meaning today may lose its meaning tomorrow.

Tencent Video Interview in September 2024

Q: Tibetan Sea Flower is actually a process of searching for him.

A: Searching for his past is also a process of him going from a god to a human being, and Sand Sea is a process of Wu Xie going from a human to a god, and they cross paths in the middle.

"Does meaning have any meaning?" Menyouping showed a rare concern for the word "meaning". He looked at the blazing bonfire and said, "The word meaning itself has no meaning."—Daomu Biji Vol. 8: Finale (Part II) Chapter 17 | Chapter 78 (MereBear's Translation)

He once hoped, but he never dared to put so much expectation, until Wu Xie appeared.

Tibetan Sea Flower Online Q&A on September 22, 2024

Q: Has Wu Xie ever taught Zhang Qiling anything?

A: There is a person called Wu Xie in the world, and this is the first time you have seen him in a hundred years.

Then, let's take a look at this series of statements by NPSS about Zhang Qiling.

NPSS wrote about Zhang Qiling at the end of vol. 8:

Men You Ping: This is a powerful man who is like a god or Buddha. I can always write with extra ease when he is around, because as long as he is by your side, he can protect you from all disasters and pains. He has no words, he is not happy, he is not sad, he always stands there like a [Chinese] porcelain doll, watching everything indifferently [my friend said "瓷娃娃" is a symbolic sculpture without the feeling of sorrow or joy], but you know he cares about you. No one can ever bring you so much sense of security like him. However, I don't know why, when I write about the various actions of this man, I always feel a deep sadness in my heart.

As he said, he is a person without past and future. His only connection with the world seems to have little value [it was before he claimed Wu Xie as his only connection with the world, at that time he was only searching for his memories and clues about himself which actually led to his responsibility as Zhang Qiling but not his true self]. He doesn't know where he came from or where he will go. He only knows that he has something he must do in this world. "Can you imagine? One day, when you wake up from a cave, you don't know anything and look around in confusion, you already have a responsibility that you must shoulder. You have no right to see the scenery along the way, you can't enjoy [to be with] friends and lovers, and all the beautiful things in your life have lost their meaning to you the moment you regain consciousness."

Zhang Qiling is carrying his own destiny in silence. What hurts me the most is that he just carried it nonchalantly, as if it was all natural, as if it was just an insignificant matter. If you ask him, he will just shake his head silently and tell you: "It doesn't matter". This is the man I wrote. He bears the most painful fate in the world, even a thousand times more painful than death, but he is not angry or sad, neither escaping nor suffering. He is right there, telling everyone he protects that it doesn't matter.

Zhang Qiling is physically and mentally strong, if not he wouldn't have survived all alone by himself in those years. However, being strong doesn't mean he has no weakness. He is not omnipotent nor a god. Having a weakness is a sign that he is human. He is observant and cautious, he is often caught off guard when received Tianshou (which can't be predicted) or when he loses too much blood (because his wound takes longer to heal than ordinary people). Most of the time, he feels indifferent to the pain. He endures it well, but he is not immune to it, he still feels hurt.

Snake Ancestor ignored him. After he was done, he said to Men You Ping: "Your hand will hurt so much that you can't move it for three days. It will be like stone, but you won't die."

Men You Ping raised his bitten hand and took a deep breath. He saw that the blood vessels near the wound were bulging, and his stiff fingers began to move instantly.

"Can you still move? Impossible?" Snake Ancestor was surprised. "Don't you feel pain?"

"It does hurt." Menyouping shook his hands and switched the knife to his other hand. With a loud snap, the young master was knocked over and fell on his back. The entire floor arched up, and a huge claw-like insect flipped up from under the floor, and the floor fragments were scattered everywhere.—Daomu Biji Extra: Fantasy Ch. 20 | Ch. 2.24 (MereBear's Translation)

Then, he meets Wu Xie.

Tibetan Sea Flower Online Q&A on August 31, 2024:

Q: What was Zhang Qiling and Wu Xie's first impression of each other?

A: Wu: Wow, what a cocky guy. Zhang: It seems like there is an amateur in the team.

Facebook Interview on September 18, 2014:

Q: I want to know why Xiaoge takes such good care of Tianzhen throughout the whole story, because his care for Tianzhen has gone beyond the scope of friends and colleagues (personal opinion).

A: When you see people around you being as weak as tofu*, you will also think of giving them some protection so that you don't have to do the laundry [something like 'avoid unnecessary trouble'].

*豆腐 "tofu": I'm not sure if international fans know about tofu, there are many variations of tofu, but the texture of tofu is usually very soft and easily broken if you don't handle it properly.

Tibetan Sea Flower Online Q&A on August 31, 2024:

Q: When did Zhang Qiling start to feel that Wu Xie was special?

A: When Wu Xie performed impossible and inhumane miracles time and time again.

Douyin Live on 16 September, 2024:

Q: There is a line in the book "Tibetan Sea Flower" that says that Xiaoge lost his connection with the world. Do you think it was a certain turning point that made Xiaoge feel that he had some connection with the world again? Or was it not a certain moment, but the accumulation of various friendships and experiences?

A: I can give you an example. You know that there are people who can establish a connection with you, and you know that there are people who can work hard to connect you with the world. Maybe he himself is the anchor point of that connection, but you also know that this person will not always be there. Zhang Qiling knows very well that it is impossible for someone to always do this, because his destiny is to be disconnected from the world, and his entire life is to be constantly disconnected. So he knew that in his long life, there might be many people willing to do this, but who would be willing to do this all the time? Zhang Qiling had no hope for this, because he had experienced many separations and seen many such situations.

So when the Iron Triangle was formed, Zhang Qiling initially thought that this might just be a short journey, a short connection. He knew that maybe it could be done. Ordinary people can always become god-like in a short period of time. Ordinary people have this light, but if you can become god-like for a lifetime, Zhang Qiling has never thought about it, but the Iron Triangle is moving towards this possibility. They will become a lifelong connection. For Wu Xie and Pangzi, they have burned up all their time.

This is a more real connection than anyone Zhang Qiling can remember.

Tencent Video Open Day Live on 9 September, 2024:

Q: It is known that Wu Xie is a magnificient scholar of Zhang Studies, but what about Zhang Qiling? How much does he know about Wu Xie? Who knows him better, him or Wu Xie?

A: I think Wu Xie is a very simple person. Wu Xie's resume is written on one A4 page. So I think Zhang Qiling knows more about Wu Xie. Moreover, Zhang Qiling has seen so many people. He may have only one question about Wu Xie, that is, among so many people, what is the difference between Wu Xie and others. Wu Xie in his long life, he would think that Wu Xie is somewhat different. What is the difference?Right, because Wu Xie wiped out the Zhang family (slip of the tongue, it should be the Wang family) by himself.

Nanjing Live Broadcast on August 16, 2023:

Q: What is the relationship between the Iron Triangle from Zhang Qiling’s perspective?

A: I think he has to go through several stages. At the beginning, he will think of two mortals, two ordinary people, and then try his best to protect them. Then slowly he discovered that these two people also had a slightly different aura. And in many cases, it is said that the behaviors and states of these people are beyond the energy range of ordinary people. For example, he may encounter very persistent people many times in his life. But those who are persistent may not be able to hold on for a year or two. In other words, his harsh life is something that others cannot keep up with. But he met someone like Wu Xie who always persistent and became stronger and stronger, constantly upgrading himself. This person is very special. He may be different from others. In such a long world, people like this are rare. This person is very special. He may be different from others. In such a long world, such people are rare. Then there is Wang Pangzi. How can this person do it? The way they do it is different. Wu Xie relies on persistence, and Pangzi relies on being heartless and shameless. So it feels that in the past, all the companions around you may disappear after walking and walking, but these two people not only did not disappear, but their presence became stronger and stronger. In the end, I feel that I will get used to it slowly.

Taobao Live Broadcast on October 30, 2022:

Q: After Zhang Qiling met Wu Xie and others from the beginning and experienced so much together now, will there be any changes in his mentality?

A: I think his world will become a warm color. His previous world was not a cold color, but a neutral color. It made no difference to him whether he had it or not. There was no concept of ownership in his life, whether I was owned by you or I owned something myself. When the world has warm tones, (although) he is essentially a person who has no meaning to him for any possession, the only thing he can have is that color. There may still be various problems with his memory in the future, but that touch of warmth will eventually belong to him, and the color of that world and that period of time cannot be washed or erased. What I mean is that even Tianshou can't erase that kind of temperature. I think this is the most core change in his mentality.

Live broadcast on June 11, 2021:

NPSS: For Zhang Qiling, Wu Xie is his only connection with the human world. He can have no connection with the human world. After so many years, Wu Xie is the opportunity for him to be willing to connect with the human world. This is also something that requires courage for him, because connecting with Wu Xie means connecting with other people. At the beginning, Wu Xie was just one of the many people he had saved, but Wu Xie reached a state of transcendence through his own qualities. He can attract another person who is not a mortal. There is such a person. When you look at him, you will have this feeling-

Host: This is that person, this is the person I am looking for.

NPSS: Yes.

It only takes less than two years to change Zhang Qiling's opinion about Wu Xie, from 'one of the people he had saved' to 'his only connection with this world'. Two years are just a small number in Xiaoge's long life, but the days when they got along together in life-and-death situations are much more meaningful than what he ever imagined. Knowing him little by little, Xiaoge feels that Wu Xie is different, a rare soul. Wu Xie cares about him without any hidden intentions. He is sincere and persistent, proving himself that he has exceeded Xiaoge's presumptions of human beings, again and again.

"Human beings are much scarier than ghosts, and it is hard to understand people's hearts," said Men You Ping, "Living people are worse than ghosts." After saying that, he glanced at Laba's hidden knife.—Tibetan Sea Flower 1 Ch. 12

Later, NPSS explained about Zhang Qiling's farewell in Hangzhou (see more here or here):

"He came to find Wu Xie, which was the biggest emotion in his life for so many years."

Xiaoge is not without emotions. For Zhang Qiling who has seen too much and experienced all sorts of things, it's not easy to cause a spark in his heart. He has his own way of dealing with his own emotions and expressing his feelings. As an analogy, his emotional state is like an ocean; vast, calm, and deep. A small ripple won't have any effect on him, and the waves were just small frictions on the surface. Despite this, that day when he came to Hangzhou to say goodbye to Wu Xie, he felt the greatest emotions after so many years of emotional numbness.

"I came to say goodbye to you." He said, "It's all over. I thought about my connection with this world, and it seems that the only one I can find now is you."—Daomu Biji Vol. 8: Finale (Part II) Ch. 25 | Ch. 76 (MereBear's Translation)

It was stated in Tibetan Sea Flower that Xiaoge also came to Pangzi and entrusted him with three things, which are related to Wu Xie's presumably future actions.

"The first thing is that you found his statue." Pangzi said, "This proves that you found the place where he began to lose connection with this world. This statue was made for him by the best craftsman in the temple at that time. It is his only projection in this world."—Tibetan Sea Flower 2 Ch. 19 | Ch. 84 (MereBear's Translation)

Each encounter has its own purpose. Pangzi didn't chase after Xiaoge, because he understood that if Xiaoge choose not to tell him everything, then so be it, and no one can stop him once he made a decision. On the other hand, Wu Xie has an intrigued temper which is different from Pangzi. If Xiaoge deliberately didn't tell him anything, Wu Xie could just go find it out by himself.

Xiaoge is someone who solves the problem right on the spot the moment he figures it out, and he will not do something unnecessary.

Tibetan Sea Flower Online Q&A on 6 September, 2024:

Q: How would Wu Xie or Xiaoge overcome difficulties when they encounter them, or what is their psychology?

A: Xiaoge overcomes the difficulties on the spot, while Wu Xie overcomes the difficulties secretly.

He came to Wu Xie, even though it had nothing to do with his mission. He could just go straight away to Changbai mountains, but he didn't. What did he expect after saying those words? He was aware of Wu Xie's temper, yet he still went to find him and said something that even Wu Xie might not know what it meant at that time; because he wanted him to know.

He had lost his connection with this world once, and he was going to experience it again. There was no need to carve his emotions on a stone, he now understood it very well; to think and miss; to have his own desire. He wanted Wu Xie to know how important he was to him. He is always selfless, but this time he found again his long-lost desire, a selfish desire.

"It's all over. I thought about my connection with this world, and it seems that the only one I can find now is you."

Those words are not just ordinary "romantic" or "insignificant" words. They can't be understood with a superficial approach, but only after reading Tibetan Sea Flower and Three Days of Silence or Zhang Qiling's story that the meaning can be conveyed properly. They carry so much meaning that speaks volumes of what Xiaoge was thinking at that time. It was the first time after he lost his mother, Baima, that he had his own "desire" again.

“Wu Xie is the opportunity for him to be willing to connect with the human world. This is also something that requires courage for him, because connecting with Wu Xie means connecting with other people.”

In other words, Wu Xie is like a "bridge" that connects Zhang Qiling's world to the human world, and leads to another lifelong companionship like Pangzi. Even to this day, a genuine and sincere relationship without any malice is rare to be found in this world. Wu Xie is an important part of Xiaoge's existence, and recognizing this strong bond won't make Zhang Qiling lose himself. On the contrary, Wu Xie helped him to find his pieces of life and finally do something he truly wants. It's not a one-sided feeling, Xiaoge sacrificed himself for Wu Xie, and it was not out of obligation or courtesy. And it was also the case with Wu Xie defeated the Wang family. Their feelings for each other have always been unconditional, they don't ask anything in return, and what they have done only shows how far they can go for the other.

Xiaoge: “I will give you my whole life in exchange for your ten years of innocence.”

Wu Xie: “I will use my ten years in exchange for your stability and peace of mind for the rest of your life”

There is so much happening after this period that it is worth talking about, but it's getting too long. Perhaps I will continue it, but I cannot guarantee anything (∩˃ω˂∩)

Thank you for reading! ^^

Source: Original picture by 刘巴布

[tanoraqui]

I COMPLETELY FORGOT A VERY IMPORTANT PART OF CROWNLESS (the Young Aragorn show that lives in my, and apparently many of your, hearts): Each season opens with the framing device of middle-aged Sam Gamgee sitting by the fire in Bag End, telling his kids stories about the King. If you don’t have a (historical inaccuracy-excusing) narrative frame in a Middle Earth story, wtf are you even doing?

Also, the theme song in my mind is "All That Is Gold Does Not Glitter" by Clamavi de Profundis, but I'm open to some other group doing their own arrangement of the poem.

so, key elements of season 3 (s1 and 2 here):

A couple times in s2, including notably in the season finale?, Rohirrim were involved…so at the very end of that season, King Thengel invited Aragorn to come serve in his court/armed forces. That’s right, it’s time for UNMITIGATED HORSE GIRL!ARAGORN HOURS!

(confession: I could be persuaded to combine s2 and s3, with some elements of s3 going into s4)

(and clarification: Aragorn isn't deliberately using a false name, but he's also not presenting himself as anything more than a random northern Dúnedain ranger, son of nobody in particular.)

The show starts to shift in this season: in addition to/in place of some monster of the week episodes, we get political drama of the week, and more ongoing plotlines. Also, I realized it’s as much ‘location of the week’ as ‘monster of the week’—that continues, centered around Rohan (which means we’ll retread some locations from s2)

First trip to Minas Tirith, on some diplomatic excursion!

fun canon LotR info: Thengel, Theoden's father, was a total Gondor stan - he lived there from his teens until he had to come home to take up the crown, he married a woman from Lossarnach, as King of Rohan he spoke Sindarin and Westernesse and not Rohirric...

so I'm gonna say that teenage Theoden is kind of resentful of that? He was born in Lossarnach, came to Rohan at age 5...but Rohan is his home and he loves it, and he wonders if his father is too enamored of Gondor to be the best king of Rohan. He's skeptical of Thengel recruiting this random Ranger to be a captain of the Riders. On the flip side, Aragorn is SO COOL, and superb with horses. and Theoden wants to be him when he grows up. It's hard, being a teenager and a prince, with 4 sisters. It's hard and nobody understands

Sauruman is there for an episode, being genuinely helpful but his vibes are faintly rancid. He's about to start building up Isengard as an armed power. If the season finale involves something like a proper battle again, he might pitch in.

Halbarad and Dúnawen might actually stay in Ithilien? Or they come along to Rohan but they just join the Riders without getting involved in court stuff at all. Aragorn is going to start doing more things on his own. They presumably have their own B/C-plot character arcs btw, I just don't know what

Roddis definitely stayed behind in Ithilien/Gondor. New in the cast, however, not from quite the start but maybe like ep7/22, or the midseason onward? Is a perfectly normal human woman with dark hair and grey eyes...

Arwen. It's Arwen.

Aragorn: Why are you here? Arwen: I am the daughter of Elrond Half-Elven. My grandparents include the Evening Star, White-Winged Elwing, and Galadriel, student of Melian who on separate occasions told both Fëanor and Eonwë to fuck off. Everyone who met her agrees that I look just like my great-great-grandmother Lúthien Tinúviel. The distant echo of the Doom of the Exiles runs in my veins, as do the Songs of Lúthien and the Light of a Silmaril. I know the weight of Fate when it settles on my shoulders like a mantle, as it did when you called me 'Tinúviel' beneath Imladris's twilit trees—but the Choice of the Peredhel remains mine and mine alone. So I have come, Elessar, Isildur's heir, to see if I actually like you. Arwen: Curiosity. Aragorn: [vividly remembering how in s1 his mom said, "She's way out of your league" and Elrond said, "You won't get married until you're king." (Aragorn: "...married to your daughter?" Elrond: "To anyone. Period.")] Aragorn: Cool. Curiosity is cool. I'm gonna be so normal about this.

(Spoilers: he was not entirely normal about this.)

(Spoilers: they super do like each other, though)

Idk what the backup rangers are doing overall, but I do want Aragorn and Dúnawen to still have some sort of romantic Thing in s2, maybe off and on again, as Aragorn thought Arwen wasn't interested and was trying not to just be moping about it... Then Arwen arrives and Aragorn is So Conflicted for like 1 episode, before Dúnawen comes to him like, "Aragorn, I love you as a friend and comrade-in-arms and I love you as my chieftain and king-to-be, and I could probably love you as a wife if we really tried...but you clearly have not just a crush but some sort of Destiny thing with Lady Arwen, so I'm going to go back to Ithilien for a bit, maybe get drunk and laid with a handsome barmaid, and get over you. While I'm gone, you should try, like, talking to her."

A thing that Aragorn and Arwen...do bond over, but more it's there to demonstrate their compatibility to the audience, is: ...So, we (the writers/producers) don't have the rights to The Silmarillion, right, just The Lord of the Rings and its Appendices, and The Hobbit. These do periodically namedrop people, however, with dashes of elaboration mostly in the Appendices...and Aragorn is established from the start to be a bit of a history nerd, because that's what happens when you're raised by Elrond...so periodically, Aragorn and his friends will be in a Situation and Aragorn will whisper, like, "This is just like when [Fëanor/Túrin/Tar-Minastir/etc...]—" and Halbarad or Dúnawen hisses, "Does that actually help us right now?" and Aragorn will say, "Sure!" and start doing something that Silmarillion nerds can recognize is inspired by whatever the person in question did in a similar situation (note: sometimes Aragorn deliberately does the opposite of what the historical figure did, and it works much better.) The writers very carefully do not explicitly reference anything not explicitly in the permitted texts. If they need/get to elaborate on a historical figure, they'll toe a careful line of Silmarillion canon and blatantly made-up things.

That happened more in s1, when the show needed to make good with the old fans, but also in s2. Aragorn remains the only one referencing this stuff. Then in s3, he and Arwen are...let's say captured by bandits, and Arwen murmurs in his ear, "I have an idea. You know in the Lay of Lúthien..." Aragorn's eyes widen. "Beren and Lúthien or Beren and Finrod?" Arwen: "Finrod." Aragorn nods, and they proceed to bullshit their way out of being captive with flawless teamwork and yes-and-ing (and maybe fight a wolf on their way out, just to be thorough).

No idea what this season finale is. Like I said, you could probably weave parts of most of this season into s2 and s4? But that would ruin the "a different significant geographical area every season" thing we've got going on.

[s4 here!]

[antaxzantax]

(1/2) Love the new chapter. Do you think Alexia and Auguste know Alfred is gay? Or do they have an inkling? Alexander probably doesn’t because he’s too wrapped up in his own obsession with his legacy, his own selfishness. It makes me think, wow do these guys even have a life outside these nefarious deeds? (The films that is).

Oh, I love these questions. I'm going to answer them in order.

1 - Alfred's sexual orientation is an ambiguous subject because I have drawn directly from the actual experiences of boys who attended British boarding schools. From the character's point of view, Alfred firmly believes he is heterosexual for two reasons:

Because he is forced to be. Inheritance is the reason for the existence of the upper class, so heterosexuality is the first requirement to ensure the succession and survival of the lineage. However, there are currently a few nobles who are gay and whose inheritance is passed on to the first close relative, such as a cousin. However, it is not at all common and cases of heterosexual marriages in which the man is secretly gay or bisexual and has relations with lovers are more common. Similarly, there is currently a man in the UK who lives with his gay lover in Paris, while being married to a woman who lives in his country house in England. In addition, at the time in which it is set, the eighties and nineties, being homosexual was not as well regarded as it is now, just look at the reaction generated by the famous photo of Lady Di shaking hands with an AIDS patient. Although there have always been gays in the upper class, from kings to other small nobles, it is a rather ambiguous issue in the particular case of this type of family due to ideological and cultural issues. Focusing on the Ashfords, Alexander is bisexual and this is something that his two children know and that only Edward and Elizabeth knew at the time. Arthur, Alexander's grandfather, never knew this because he was openly homophobic and extremely conservative. From this, his family may suspect that Alfred is bisexual like Alexander or that he is heterosexual with homosexual experiences as many men in his family may have had in British boarding schools. Based on the info from the last chapter, Alexia suspects that Alfred may be bisexual. Alexander, on the other hand, thinks Alfred is heterosexual by comparing him to his own sexual experience. Auguste believes Alfred is heterosexual for the same reasons Alfred thinks that he is hetero.

Homosexuality is a recurring issue in British boarding schools. Formally, it is forbidden along with romantic relationships with women outside the institution. However, as I read in a book that talked about life in these institutions, if you look for this kind of experience, you find it. Given the above, it can be said that Alfred thinks his homosexuality was a mere affair and experimentation that does not call into question his identity as an upper-class heterosexual white Christian male.

But this reluctance is a cognitive dissonance. In the end, what shines through is that Alfred likes women in the same way that he didn't dislike having a boyfriend during secondary school. But that's how these types of people work: they are a living cognitive dissonance and are never satisfied with anything because of their constant identity conflicts between what is expected of them and their ability to accept who they really are.

2 - As billionaires, they have as much life as they want outside of Umbrella. It is true that Umbrella is quite time-consuming because in the 1990s the company grew too big and conflicts began to arise between the two founding families, but everyone has their own independent life. Alfred is a regular at parties and car races. He diversifies his activity between investing in the stock market, spending his idle hours on the most primitive Internet and joining any activity that his acquaintances suggest. As a good patriot, he usually spends time in Scotland to devote himself to the rest of the family business. Alexia, on the other hand, spends more time at Ashford Hall because of her lack of friends outside of her family and her lack of interest in social relationships. She devotes herself to whatever she hyper-focuses on. Computing, composing electronic music, studying, reading, even playing video games and watching only the movies that catch her attention. However, Alexia travels relatively frequently because she shares the management of Umbrella with her father. Outside of Umbrella, she also travels to pursue her academic career, to visit family members or on vacation. Alexander, for his part, has a fairly liberal life outside Umbrella. He travels for pleasure to have sex with his multiple lovers, attends cultural events to which he is invited so that the organization gains in status with his presence, continues to practice boxing and, in general, is accustomed to a lifestyle in which all his desires are fulfilled no matter how futile they may be.

In their heads there is no dissonance in funding their lifestyle with biological weapons because that's the way things are and they will continue to take advantage of it.

[polycraftory]

A Whisper of Solace by Milena McKay

Reviewed by Meghan 💜

⭐⭐⭐ 3.5/5 | 🌶️🌶️🌶️ 3/5

This edition is from the Thawing the Ice Rainbow After Dark book box from @rainbowcrate. As always, you can find more of my reviews @ edgybutfemme on Storygraph.

This book was an insightful exploration of healing from PTSD and trauma as well as a high drama contemporary sapphic romance set in Hollywood. Even though this book fell slightly lower on my rating scale because it wasn't necessarily the type of narrative I look for, I think it is an incredible book that achieves what it sets out to do. The vibes are very what if Miranda Priestly from The Devil Wears Prada ran a movie studio instead of a fashion magazine, with the addition that instead of trying to carve her plucky young employee into a version of herself, the two of them instead fell deeply in love and she instantly tries to push her employee away with cruelty to protect herself.

Full Review, Content Warnings, & Spice Level Info Under the Cut

What I Liked

They said they were delivering an ice queen with a slow burn and by god they delivered. Also, despite being an absolute witch and downright cruel at times, I appreciated that Neve Blackthorne did have good standards. She is actually passionate about making good movies, she cares about delivering good representation, and she champions union work and making movies the right way. 

I like that she actually gets to be cruel, but redeemable. Plus, scary competent older woman who will destroy you if you cross her is so many people's exact type.

That being said, my favorite character was Helena Moore, Neve's therapist. I thought the framing every chapter of starting with a therapy session was clever and well used. Helena is compassionate, funny, relatable, and, most importantly, doesn't take any of Neve's shit. Truly I don't know if I would have made through the whole book without these scenes slowly making Neve change and grow.  

This book is an excellent exploration of a person finally being forced to deal with their trauma and PTSD so they stop hurting themselves and everyone around them.

Audrey Avens is great! I love that she gets to go and make her own career after Neve pushes her away. I love that she goes and dates other people and still lives her life. 

What I Struggled With

Okay, so first and foremost this just turned out to not be as much my speed. If the above appeals to you, this book really achieves exactly what it set out to do. That being said, here's what didn't work as well for me in particular:

Listen, this is a midlife crisis novel. I think it's important for these books to exist, and historically this sort of book has been written only about heterosexual cisgendered white men. So, I think this is an important book that should exist, especially because it deals really well with mental health and trauma. That being said, I don't like coming of age novels, and a midlife crisis novel is the same sort of narrative but for adults.

I can tolerate a lot of mistreatment between love interests. I love enemies to lovers. However, this is very one sided cruelty with no extenuating circumstances. It's hard to watch how aggressively Neve drives Audrey away with needless cruelty. It's an important part of their arc, but I struggled with it.

This is a very messy and high drama sort of romance, which can be fun! However, I just wanted any sort of communication between them any amount earlier in the book. They finally get together very late in the game.

Anyway, if these things won't bother you, please go support this sapphic romance! The payoff at the end is absolutely worth it, and I did enjoy this book despite it being outside my normal taste! I think, for me, the best thing about getting book boxes is it helping me stretch outside my comfort zone and try new things.

The Spice Level

🌶️🌶️🌶️/ 5 - The smut in this novel uses explicit language and lots of detail. We have a good balance of plot and romance. There are several sex scenes throughout the book, at least 2 or 3 but likely more. (In this case, more. This book was right on that 3-4 spice border, but the book leans more plot heavy and isn't kinky so I left it at 3)

Audrey and Neve get to be SO HORNY and so messy and so passionate. So many sapphic romances are only allowed to be so chaste and sweet and I love getting to see a high smut passionate sapphic romance.

Content Warnings From Storygraph

Graphic: Emotional abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, and Sexual content

Moderate: Domestic abuse, Infidelity, and Abandonment

Content Warnings Directly From the Book

Child emotional abuse and neglect

Domestic violence (mentioned, off page)

Internalized homophobia

Cheating

Please feel free to ask me if you have any questions! I'm always happy to provide more context <3

[jessjustplay]

I finished (the main story of) God of War!

September 22, 2024

I saw the credits roll after I wrapped up the main story of God of War last night. I wanted to see the story play out so I focused on the main story tasks list. I'm glad I did because now I feel like I have "freedom" to just wander around completing side-quest stuff. Which I plan on doing, eventually.

God of War is definitely a good game. I had a lot of fun with the battles, they were fast and chaotic (in a fun way). Aiming Atreus's arrow was hard at first, but you get used to it. Fighting with the ax, barehanded, and then with the blades was beyond cool.

The one battle-related thing I regret is activating a skill that stopped me from recalling the ax over and over. It was frustrating when Kratos would start attacking with the ax instead of staying put. That's not what I want! Before activating the skill (I have no idea which one it was), I was able to stay in the same spot and throw the ax then recall it without issue, over and over. The good ol' days.

Mimir was a great addition to the team. I liked his accent and his funny comments. I liked that he called Kratos "Brother" and Atreus "Little Brother." The dwarves were funny, but at the very end I noticed this was very much a "Bro" game. So many guys, with the exception of one woman (Freya) who is portrayed as a mad woman at the end. Fun. So cool. We love to see it. [sarcasm]

Endgame stats!

There isn't any EXP in this game, so it seemed like the only way I was "leveling up" was by crafting and upgrading equipment. Which is fine, I guess, but I definitely prefer EXP or AP or some sort of system where fighting = leveling up.

Commentary/Thoughts:

After Freya saved Atreus, he was giving Kratos a bit of the silent treatment. I like that Kratos acknowledged the silence.

Nice little detail here.

And this was just silly. Very cute.

Shout out to the game devs for giving me anxiety with these puzzles.

Atreus lost his mother's knife saving Kratos, so it was nice that Kratos gave him a new one. One that he made for himself and for his son. Cute.

After Atreus learned he was a god, he got a major attitude! It was really interesting to see himself get such a big ego from learning what he is. I think even Kratos was shocked and worried about the attitude change. It was quite touching to see Kratos attribute Atreus's goodness to his mother, saying something along the lines of "You will honor your mother" when telling him to be better.

It was cute to see Sindri and Brok back together. Sibling love is interesting!

Same, Mimir. Same.

This part reminded me of being inside that whale in Kingdom Hearts. lol

This dude's whole story is about "feeling" anger that he can't feel anything (except anger, I guess!). Which I find very interesting. Reminds me of Tales of Berseria and how Velvet would say that feeling pain is a sign you're alive.

Also! I'm glad the green arrows finally came into play. Ever since Freya took them from Atreus and called them wicked, I was like, "What the heck?? WHY? I need more info!?" Sindri gave them to us, which made me distrust him for awhile. It makes sense now that she didn't like them because she knew they could break the spell on Baldur. Smh.

Not a fan of Freya being portrayed as a mad woman at the end. I mentioned at the beginning of this post that this game is very much a "Bro" game, as in, there are a lot of male characters. So to see the one woman in the game get overwhelmed and overcome by her emotions sucked.

However, Kratos said he understood her behavior and that he would also do the same (choose to die if it meant to save Atreus) which I think was a good detail to include. If this declaration from Kratos had not been included, it would have been too easy to dismiss Freya as a wild woman full of uncontrollable emotions, but having Kratos say that he would do the same makes her actions seem understandable, but I still think unreasonable.

Atreus is a good kid right now, so if Kratos died to save him, it would make sense. But Baldur was not a good person, and if Atreus turns "bad", then it also would not make sense for Kratos to save him either. I think Freya was in the wrong for wanting to save Baldur, yes even though he is her son. He wanted to kill her! Surely that is a sign there is something unhinged in your child's brain, heart, soul!? (shrugs)

I'm interested to see if she shows up in the next game.

At least Mimir seems to agree with me that it doesn't make a lot of sense.

So as far as the ending, I like the reveal of the mom actually being a Giant. Atreus is both god and Giant... interesting! This quick look at this mural in particular is also intriguing. To me, it looks like a snake coming out of Atreus's mouth and possibly connected to Kratos. Maybe it represents a circle or never-ending cycle, but who knows.

When Kratos killed Baldur, he said the cycle ends there. Kratos killed his father, and apparently this happens a lot with the gods lol. So it'll be interesting if this is Atreus killing Kratos or just him holding a dead Kratos, or if this even happens at all? I DONT KNOW. (I'm also not a pro on Greek or Nordic mythology.)

Cute little moment, he called him "Son" directly.

And this was interesting. Atreus is Loki??? Not sure how that will play out. They don't seem to like Odin or Thor in this world, who are portrayed positively in the Marvel universe while Loki is portrayed as a mischievous god, so... will Loki have good qualities in this game? I mean, so far he does. But again, I DONT KNOW.

Yeah I'm not doing a New Game+ any time soon, but like I said at the beginning of this post, I would like to revisit this game to do some of the side stuff that I didn't finish. I did fight one Valkyrie, but I kept dying at the very end each time. Maybe Kratos needs more HP because I got really close to killing the Valkyrie, I just couldn't find any green heals to stay alive.

Overall, a good game! I'm counting this as a "Finished" game because the credits rolled. I do not Platinum games because I do not care about digital trophies lol.

[childotkw]

YOO... i just sped read chapters 25-39 of CS and I'm absolutely. blown away. i know my last ask was pretty recent but i need to immediately run to your inbox. i don't think this is as long as the previous one but it is pretty lengthy, take ur time to respond :>

first off, rita skeeter gets on my nerves oh my god she is so annoying... i find it so entertaining watching hadrian using jacob for info though. i'm kind of a jacob sympathizer - he did mess up really bad but i do like that addition. i don't expect them to become buddy-buddy though,, LMAO hadrian blackmailing skeeter is also really funny imo 

the ball was cool and fun and all, loved the interactions between adalard and hadrian. it was very? relaxing? adalard is probably one of my favorite side characters. hadrian being drugged and then being yanked into riddle's office and then. they almost kissed was absolutely wild. it compares to the 'sleeping in riddle's office' scene. then hadrian's dread when he realized what he did was absolutely hilarious.  

THEN hadrian finds out about the order and lily's affiliation with them,,, hadrian meeting sirius was amazing i love sirius he is babygirl. later his interactions with the other members of the order are really cool. he knows them but he doesn't - he only knows them through the lenses and stories of lily's but there's no real connection. i think that's really sad :(( tonks and remus are so cute also. it's been years since I've read the books and i don't remember ever really getting the chemistry between them until i read that small scene you wrote of them !!!! 

oh jesus when lily and riddle meet,, bringing her to the place james proposed to her was just downright cruel man. i SWEAR the shock i felt when he took lily.... hadrian realizing like a day after and just GOING off to find her.

i originally thought that hadrian's patronus was a dog?? like sirius dog?? because he said 'good boy' to it and then sirius commented on it and i thought it was a dog. black panther is really cool though !!!!

THEN the scene with the woman and,, i forgot to mention her in my last post but lowkey she is way more intimidating than voldy for some reason. its the mysteriousness or something man,, and how she takes voldy not seriously at all. "little lord" is what really gets me...

the entire ball-doppelganger thing was cool as hell !! i love the dance between hadrian doppelganger and bellatrix . harry finding lily and going back - i felt really bad for tonks with what hadrian said though hadrian is entirely justified to what he said. he doesn't even know them.

honestly i was very very afraid for hadrian when voldy went to severus for the numbing cream and then talked about ... dark mark stuff. hadrian put himself through that - just so that lily could awake from her coma-sleep-whatever.

pleasantly surprised that it was not a dark mark though,, i wonder what effects that thing will have throughout the story. severus' discomfort while watching hadrian and riddle's interactions are hilarious. oh yes hadrian big brain realizing he has some of riddle's blood as well. however. let's get to the big thing

“Are you insane?” He whispered, voice cracking. “I’m me, mum.” 

OH MY God that line. i've seen it in another one of your asks before HOWEVER it hits so much harder in context. earlier sirius had reprimanded? scolded? lily for dismissing hadrian because of his age and referencing his own fallout with his mother and it hits so hard when hadrian and lily have their own fallout. .... .

i want to strangle lily,... she has the audacity to say shit like that after hadrian did so much to save her?? and like, she just doesn't even consider the amount of hurt she'd cause by saying that... GJJDHJHSHGAGSDG

anyway, im going to continue reading so have my kudos author-nim !!!! ur fics make me feel so many things

Oh you are flying through the chapters!!

Rita Skeeter is the bane of many peoples' existence I feel 😂 while she only pops up once or twice, I'm glad I managed to get her unique brand of obnoxiousness right.

Jacob's actually a fun character to see the reaction to over time. He started out as someone most were chill with, then the goblet happened and it was all fire and pitchforks, and then slowly over time he's largely now become a tolerated presence. It's genuinely so much fun to see the progression.

And I'm glad you liked the Yule Ball! It was such a fun chapter to write! Adalard got a chance to shine, and of course, The Interaction between Hadrian and Riddle 😂 fond memories

The Order and Lily and Hadrian is such a mess, but the conversations in those early scenes really set things up for future events 😉 and I'm really happy that Tonks/Remus worked for you in CS! I know wolfstar is usually the default ship, but I actually really like Tonks and Remus so I couldn't resist haha

And the kidnapping of Lily...you can't say she wasn't tempting fate there 😂 Hadrian going into mission-mode to rescue her, creating his doppelgänger, invading Riddle manor, snarking with Bellatrix - he was so fun to write hahaha

The Lady is an ongoing mystery in CS - discord has a whole list of potential suspects lmao. I'm holding my cards close to my chest on her though. Her lack of concern over Riddle is such a boss move though - she basically speaks about him like he's a misbehaving toddler 😂

And oof yeah the mark - people were losing their minds when that happened! Hadrian sacrificing his freedom for his mother, and then having her spit in his face...that was brutal. That whole fight, and Hadrian's poor little heart breaking...I felt so bad for the boy.

It's wonderful from a writer's perspective though to hear that the fight between them, and that line in particular, got you good. All the context in that scene, and all the little things that had been building up since the early chapters - it was very very satisfying to write!

Thank you again for sending in your thoughts! It's always a delight to see your username in my inbox, and reading your reactions never gets old!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰💕💕💕💕💕

[hillerska-official]

What we know so far about YR2

And what we can guess at. If I’ve left anything out please let me know!

The wall: In May, a Netflix ad got put up in Stockholm. For one day, it just said “spoiler alert,” and it caught attention cause Edvin posted a picture with it. Then they added underneath that “Vi ses i kväll” (”see you tonight” in English). So we all sat around and got our hopes up, but then nothing happened so the general conclusion became that it actually was just a Netflix ad. Now it’s actually been updated though, and revealed the release of YR2 (November!!!). Anyways, since it turned out that the wall WAS a yr wall, “vi ses i kväll” might be worth returning to as something regarding s2.

(EDIT- NEW INFO!!!!) It will be released November 1st! The first 4 minutes of the season are available now, here!

Promo stills: The stills that came out on Thursday are the biggest thing we have, you can see them yourself here, but in terms of revealing info there isn’t a ton that’s obvious. Felice curly hair arc confirmed and we love that for her, and we see expected interactions (Sara and August story continues, Sara and the manor house girls hang out, Simon and Wille have various interactions + presumably repair their relationship enough to at least be around each other and friendly. Very friendly (see rowing picture), and Wille spends some time with his parents).

New character: There is a new actor on the show, you may have seen him referred to as ‘Lars’ but his name is actually reportedly Marcus. He is played by Tommy Wättring. We don’t know who this character is but a going theory is that he’ll have some connection to Alexander, in part due to casting criteria. See @levok talk about him in detail here, but for the love of god leave them alone about the love triangle business lmao. (edit5 new info) According to this tweet, his parents rent the stables at Hillerska.

There was also a casting call for a scene at a pizza place, which is a new addition since last season, possibly something in town. (edit from @piebingo) There was another call for people with cameras, possibly for a scene with paparazzi. (edit2 from @missmeganlee) "There was also a casting call for a older woman who can work with horses I believe"

(edit6-new info) This season will be darker than season one, and Wille is in a very bad place.

BTS: There have been a couple of behind the scenes pictures and videos shared by various crew members:

 This video, which confirms (given the scene makes the cut): the return of the football field, at night, with SNOW!!!! (yay snow!)

 This video, which doesn’t really confirm anything in particular, but is very cute and I think will be a good scene. It’s location tag is the place they use for Hillerska.

This picture, which was quickly deleted + said to be nothing (lol), but it’s clear from their clothes and the set that it was actually for the same scene as one of the stills we got, as the linked post shows. One thing to note about this is that Edvin and Omar are the only actors on the set in this photo, while the still shows a full classroom, so this seems like it may be a significant Wilmon scene, needing detailed direction, or maybe one that starts/ends without others around.

(edit3 from anon) This video which shows some type of costume/theme party. I haven't seen anyone able to really parse what exactly is going on here :/

(edit4 from @melodrqmas) A picture of Edvin and Malte shooting at something (clay pigeons).

(edit from @heartbreakprincewille) this picture which indicates that Sara will probably be moving into manor house, and that the school may be celebrating its anniversary. And this one, which doesnt look like a setting we've seen before, if I remember correctly.

(edit - new info) this picture of a Wilmon hug!!!!! They appear to be wearing their uniforms and are in a hallway at school.

This note about the coloring/lighting. It doesn’t have a great deal of detail to be discerned, but you can find my post analyzing it in (probably too much) depth here.

Again please let me know if I’ve forgotten/missed anything and I will add it with (edit# and your url), as well as if there are any ppl/posts I should credit or link here! Also, thank you to @piebingo for sending me the stuff that I wasn’t able to track down myself!

[historia-jaeger]

What causes Shipwars

I am talking here about the ships EreMika and SasuSasu or NaruHina. I've heard that the Ship KenTouka also has this problem, but I don't know too much about Tokyo Ghoul. And it's about me that the fan wishes significantly influence the final composition of the couples. With Attack on Titan, it struck me particularly strongly because at the end the story didn't make any sense to me at all. Roughly summarized: It was about the fact that Eren Jäger saw no other solution than to wipe out humanity outside the walls to protect his friends and family inside the walls. He was able to achieve this by getting Ymir Fritz to make her powers available to him. Ymir was a slave of King Fritz and Eren practically made her understand that she is free and no longer has to obey the royal family. the scene ended with Mikasa overcoming and killing Eren to stop further killing of humanity. And that's where I think the story should have ended. Instead. But the mangaka used the last chapter to take the story completely out of context. Suddenly, the titan curse was lifted, because Ymir was in love with King Fritz and needed Mikasa to break up with him. So what Eren said was...meaningless. And Eren only murdered humanity, because he saw the future and couldn't find any other way. And suddenly he was oh so in love with Mikasa. Yes... But then I wonder why Ymir released the pigs. So that's how she expressed her desire for freedom. And why she had so little will to live that she didn't regenerate after being wounded with a spear. Yes. She must have been in love with the king. Definitely... The chapter was celebrated so hard, despite the rude logic errors, because the majority of the community was EreMika shipper. But because the other side has generated so much headwind, the mangaka thought: I'll just put Mikasa in a new relationship with an unidentifiable man. When it became loud, that the mangaka might have been persuaded by his publisher to end the manga with EreMika, this was painfully denied. Supposedly, Mikasa and Eren were about to kiss when the Grinning Titan attacked them. Then I wonder why it took Eren YEARS to ask Mikasa if she loves him. Never mind that he confessed his feelings to her. It couldn't be overlooked that she likes him. Apart from the fact, that there were hints in interviews, that the mangaka wasn't a particularly big EreMika supporter.

In the case of the Naruto series, the change in shipping was not significant. At least it didn't detract from the actual story. Nevertheless, you realizes that NaruHina cannot have been a planned shipping. No matter what the mangaka wants us to know. In the very first info volume of the Naruto manga, there was already a small hint that Sakura might fall in love with Nauto, might already be in love. It is also striking that Naruto's mother is very reminiscent of Sakura's character and background story and would have wished for her son to have a woman like her. Which Hinata definitely isn't. There are also many scenes that could indicate a soon-to-be-followed romance of the pairing. Especially because Naruto was obviously in love with Sakura. Hinata, on the other hand, seems very strange to him at first and he only sees her as his friend. Even after she confesses her love to him, it takes him until he even reacts to it. In the last Naruto film and the sequel Boruto, attempts were made to make this pairing more logical. Namely, by giving Hinata freaks that were reminiscent of Kushina. Trying to implement a romance where there wasn't, and in return making the pairing look bad for NaruSaku by suddenly saying Naruto only fancied Sakura because she fancied Sasuke and he wanted to rival Sasuke... As if it If there weren't 100 other girls in love with Sasuke. First of all, Ino. In addition, elements that were previously used for Sasuke and Naruto were incorporated. When allegations were made that the mangaka had changed his pairings in favor of his fans, it was said: No. Hinata was planned for Naruto from the start and Sakura was supposed to be a supporting character. As evidence, we were shown a picture of Hinata holding Uzumaki symbols, with Naruto sitting in the background. So. If there had been a picture of the two doing some couple activities. But that's not proof for me. But if Sakura should have been a supporting character. Why wasn't Hinata in Naruto's team? Why did Hinata have so little screen time and most of it with Neji? Why did Neji have to die? Why did Neji even have to play Cupid when Naruto loved Hinata from the start? If the mangaka had NaruHina planned from the start, he really paid very little attention to a believable romance build-up. No. I think NaruSaku, NejiHina and maybe SasuKarin were planned, but decided in favor of the fans. And that's why there are so many shipping wars. Because the most popular non-yaoi shipping wins in the end. And why? Because the mangaka or, for that matter, the publisher, wants to sell the manga in the best possible way. And of course it makes more sense to then target the largest target group. In this case the EreMika and NaruHina shipper. Just. Then you should also be honest, stand by it and not hit and say: No. I planned it that way from the start. This and this is the proof. Then I ask myself why so much rubbish has to be added, in order the pairing make any sense at all. Basically, as a fan, I can stop reading or watching, if I ship a pairing that is not so celebrated by the majority of the community. Because I know exactly which couple it's going to end up being. And that's the sad thing about the story. Instead of putting value on writing a good story, with pairings that also make sense and were probably planned, they prefer to ensure that the work can be sold in the best possible way, and I just think that's a shame. And in that case, I have zero sympathy when fans go, burn manga volumes and merch and threaten the mangaka and his team. Because such fans will be attracted to such things as well. You really don't have to be surprised.

Thanks for reading.

[hakuoyuki]

Hello satomi!

I hope your week has been well. I was wondering about the 3 princes in clavis route and how much info we have about them so far?!all spoilers are fine and thank you for the help :)

Since you're all wondering about the new bois I thought I might as well combine all these asks into one ^^

Details which touch upon spoilers beyond "general information" (basically Gilbert's existence and everything to do with him in detail & his relationship with Clavis) will be put under the cut.

But first of all, the character relationship chart gives us a basic overview into their character. (More links to other posts can also be found in the relationship chart post)

→ ◆Ikemen Prince Character Relationship Chart◆ Act 2 Ver.

This post will be focusing more on additional info on top of other posts I made before and what’s revealed through out their promotions and routes thus far (up to Clavis’ route) beyond their profile page as translated in the following link:

→ IkePri Act 2 New Characters (Gilbert, Keith, Silvio) Full Profile + Voice Lines Translation

ーーーー

Gilbert (General Info)

What we know so far about Gilbert: The young Obsidian Generalissimo speaks super politely. He doesn’t hold back with the things he says but he’s polite in the way he phrase his sentences. He’s the same age as Chevalier, and he calls people he favor his “friend”. Just like Chevalier, he’s a genius born once in a thousand year. Mild Clavis route spoilers but it was said how in the same way that had Gilbert not been around, Obsidian most likely won't be this strong...had Chevalier not been around Rhodolite also would've been trampled over already. The two of them are those who can predict what's going to happen as if they can see the future. (Basically, the two of them are at a game of chess and it's been a stalemate ever since the game started). In addition, Gilbert is revealed to have knowledge and is well-versed in the field of science, technology, and mechanics.

Gilbert is the “1st Prince” of Obsidian but... (more on this under the cut)

This other post outline more insights into Gilbert and how "ruthless" he is

→ Re: Exactly how ruthless is Chevalier and Gilbert? [Contain Major Spoilers from Chevalier, Luke, and Clavis’ Route]

You can also check out the following chat translation for more Gilbert

→ Ikemen Prince - Act 2 LINE Chat #1 (Gilbert, Chevalier, Clavis, Luke) [Translation]

ーーーー

Keith

What we know so far about Keith: The 1st Prince of Jade apparently holds the top position of Jade’s embassy but he’s shown to be very insecure and gloomy despite how he appears to be very kind and casual. He’s closest to Yves and Licht out of all the Rhodolite princes and often have tea parties with them whenever he visits Rhodolite. He’s the type who takes time to open up to others though. Mild spoiler from Clavis route, Keith is a “field-plowing prince” (but he got reprimanded by the cooks for doing so after he gave them the vegetables he got from helping an old man who injured his back plowed the field) 😂.

More info about Keith can be found in this other post (here) on his "two personalities"

You can also check out the following chat translation for more Keith

→ Ikemen Prince - Act 2 LINE Chat #2 (Keith, Yves, Licht) [Translation]

ーーーー

Silvio

What we know so far about Silvio: The 1st Prince of Benitoite got such an amazingly foul mouth unfitting of a prince and he calls MC “woman”. He’s a heavy drinker who’s very haughty and arrogant (but, to borrow Nokto’s words for his voice line on Silvio, “That arrogant attitude of his, is it a show of his self-confidence or perhaps it’s the flip side of his inferiority complex or something?”). Mild Clavis’ route spoiler but there he entered Rhodolite by sneaking in with a caravan. But he’s so flashy and jingles with his steps so much that he isn’t subtle at all.

More info about Silvio can be found in this other post (here) on what is meant by the “favoritism” on his character trait

You can also check out the following chat translation for more Silvio. (And goddamn his style of speaking really is something. You’ll understand after reading the chat.)

→ Ikemen Prince - Act 2 LINE Chat #3 (Silvio, Nokto, Rio) [Translation]

ーーーー

I'm actually interested in all three for varying reasons! Silvio because of his looks and vibe and how he and Nokto are both the battle of wits and resources type (Silvio is more into violence though). Keith for his personality or well, personalities. 🤫 And Gilbert mostly for the lore he brings along with him. His personality too is pretty amusing given what we knows thus far (man really is something 😂) but the lore 👀👀👀👌🏻

With that said, more on Gilbert and Obsidian's lore under the cut

(Contains Major Clavis Route spoilers)

.

.

More on Gilbert

First of all, I've shared the full deeds on Gilbert from Luke's route before (here), so in this bit I'll be focusing on extra deeds that were revealed from Clavis' route.

Clavis' True Love (Romantic) End reveals what exactly it was that Gilbert wanted in Rhodolite and only Rhodolite has that he deemed has as much value as killing Chevalier. That “something” is the power of Clavis' creativity. The reason for this is because Clavis’ creativity combined with science can bear fruits to unimaginable advancements. While Clavis think little of himself and call himself ordinary, Gilbert sees that in the field of science.... Clavis is anything but ordinary. What Clavis lack is vast knowledge in the field to further expand on his latent abilities so Gilbert wanted to give him just that. (Because Gilbert himself can benefit out of the advancement Clavis can bring forth)

Clavis' Passionate Love (Dramatic) End, on the other hand, was majorly focused on Gilbert and Obsidian's politics.

As revealed in Clavis' Passionate Love (Dramatic) End, in Obsidian there is the “Emperor’s Faction” who are hostile toward Gilbert. In Obsidian, the separation in factions is not clear like how Rhodolite got Leon’s Faction & Chevalier’s Faction with distinct separate goals. Right now in Obsidian, they are separated into the “Emperor’s Faction” and “Gilbert’s Faction” (of course, there’s the various rebel factions too but that’s a story for another time), from the outside they look like they're working together... but what lies beneath that is that fact that the Obsidian’s Emperor and Gilbert are fighting for hegemony.

ー

[Quotes from Clavis Passionate Love End Chapter 21]

After Clavis snuck into Obsidian with MC and Cyril but met gilbert obstructing their path (MC was still waiting in the carriage. She's actually unconscious as this happened). One Obsidian's soldier who followed general Gilbert along suddenly spoke up and told Gilbert to give the order to capture Clavis and Cyril for trespassing into Obsidian. That was when...

Gilbert: What? Did you just say you want to die?

Obsidian's Soldier: !?

Gilbert: These people are my friends. I didn't came here to capture them, I came to give them the permissions to enter the country though?

Obsidian's Soldier: I truly apologize for overstepping my bounds!

Gilbert: Ah. This time, it's because that it's me that your head is still intact. but had this been the emperor you act this way with... you would've been dead so it would be better to be careful

ー

What we learnt from Clavis’ passionate love end specifically is the fact that the person who’s even more ruthless than Gilbert is Obsidian’s emperor.

As of the end of Act 1, there’s nothing on the connection between Gilbert and the current (or any other) emperor of Obsidian “yet”. But the power struggle between Gilbert and the current Emperor was confirmed.

ー

Now here’s where the interesting deeds (observation) comes in. This is something which will most likely be lost in localization due to the difference in language so I’ll do my best to explain the roots of the words and the specific word choices IkePri JP has decided to use.

Gilbert von Obsidian is the 1st Prince (王子) of Obsidian.

In Japanese, “王子” is not the only word for “Prince”. Why am I pointing this out? Because Obsidian has an Emperor.

A King (王様)'s son is a Prince (王子).

But an Emperor (皇帝)'s son is a Crown Prince (皇太子), and the second son onward is a Prince (皇子) (sometimes referred to as Imperial Prince).

An 王子 (Ouji) is the son of a King (王) which is while the “ou” in the word “ouji” comes from “King”.

An 皇子 (Ouji) is the son of an Emperor (皇帝) which is while the “ou” in the word “ouji” comes from “Imperial”.

Every time Gilbert is referred to as a “Prince”, he’s referred to as an 王子 (Ouji) not an 皇子 (Ouji).

*This is all merely my observation, but based on the power struggle between Gilbert and the Emperor, the separation in two factions, and the vocab roots as explained above, Gilbert is most likely not the Emperor’s child and not the Crown Prince of Obsidian despite being the “1st Prince”. Perhaps he’s a child of King from a country Obsidian had conquered.

No definite conclusion can be made until more info on Gilbert are revealed. However....

Later on in Passionate Love (Dramatic) End, Gilbert also pointed out how “Human are dominated by fear. And there's no bigger fear than “love” (fear of losing loved one etc.)”

In this same scene, Gilbert also pointed out how he and Clavis are the same in that they both “distrust human”

ーーーー

And that basically sums up the gist of what we know about three new princes thus far. Do check out the links in my Relationship Chart Act 2 Ver. post for more details on them though.

[n1kolaiz]

"You want to know what death is? I'll tell you. Death is the loss of life. Despite everything doctors like me attempt... a patient's life can still fall through our fingers. You think death lies in the apex of science? Anyone with such little regard for life will die by my hand."

Character Analysis: Yosano Akiko

Age: 25 || Ability: Thou Shalt Not Die

BSD CHAPTER CHAPTER 65-66 SPOILERS

table of contents:

1. Author counterpart.

2. Yosano's history.

3. 'Angel of Death' defined.

4. Yosano and Atsushi.

YOSANO BRAINROT!*(#&!*@#($

1. Author counterpart.

Having been given the “Sho Ho” at birth, Yosano Akiko’s counterpart—the real-life author—was known for her zealous take on both feminism and pacifism.

Side note: Once again, to avoid confusion, I will use the name Sho Ho in reference to the real-life author, and Yosano in reference to the BSD character.

Sho Ho's writings were pretty much out-of-the-ordinary in her time, and despite being suppressed by the social norms of gender hierarchy, she sought to reform society’s view on the cultural perspectives of women and their sexuality (She expressed her love for a woman in one of her poems, but many still argued on whether she identified herself as queer or not.)

"Thou Shalt Not Die," Yosano's ability, is actually named after one of Sho Ho's most famous, controversial poems. She wrote it for her brother, who was a soldier in the war between Russia and Japan (1904-1905). In her poem, she expressed her general distaste for war and how her brother was a part of it.

O my young brother, I cry for you Don't you understand you must not die! You who were born the last of all Command a special store of parents' love

Would parents place a blade in children's hands

Teaching them to murder other men Teaching them to kill and then to die? Have you so learned and grown to twenty-four?

- excerpt from Sho Ho's poem, "Kimi Shinitamou Koto Nakare"

Her words were blunt enough to inflict guilt on her brother's conscience, as she wasn't afraid to express her disapproval over how her brother took part in the typical violent bloodshed and manslaughter of war. Such opinions perturbed the authorities, and her work was eventually banned from the public for a period of time. Later on, it was used as an anti-war statement.

2. Yosano's history.

Now, as for the character in BSD, Yosano is seen to be generally strong-willed, and later on, we see that she is terrifyingly compassionately ambitious in the way she treats her patients. She treasured life itself, and hated the thought of losing a patient.

Yosano had developed her relations with Mori Ougai back in the Great War, when she was just 11 years old. Her ability was a great benefactor in saving lives. Realistically speaking, she was used for her ability to heal injured soldiers and diminish the effect of any casualty acquired.

Initially, she wasn't aware of this, until one of her close friends pointed it out by subtly accusing Mori of manipulating her to participate in the War under the close-to false pretence of 'saving lives.'

As much as her ability did save lives, it also forced soldiers to return to the frontlines and suffer injuries over and over again. The soldiers were never given the opportunity to return to their families because of her ability. This obliged them to carry on in the war without any excuse, inserting them into a vicious cycle they had no escape out of.

Metaphorically speaking, Yosano's hatred for Mori sort of mirrors Sho Ho's disdain for war and fighting, don't you think? The way Kafka materialised Yosano's past was quite interesting because he used chapters 65 and 66 to explain Yosano's dislike for Mori, reflecting how Sho Ho used her poem to explain why she condemned the idea of war and how her brother was part of it.

Before the effect of her ability was fully understood, however, every soldier praised and thanked her for what an angel she was. One of the soldiers she had befriended and gotten close to even kept a tally of the number of times she had saved him. He was the one who gifted her the butterfly hairpin she wore all the time.

The weight of the truth that her ability was a curse rather than a blessing fully dawned on her when her soldier friend ultimately committed suicide, because the fact of being indefinitely trapped in the throes of war agonised him until his spirit gave out. This drove Yosano to loathe her ability, or rather, how it was used.

In the time she participated in the War, Yosano was given the alias 'angel of death' due to the control she retained over the battlefield, but I thought that perhaps Kafka had a reason behind giving her this title, so I did my research.

3. 'Angel of Death' defined.

Side note: I wouldn't want to disrespect any culture or religion, so if my citations are inaccurate and/or disrespectful, do feel free to correct me/let me know! I did research out of pure curiosity, and I don't intend to twist the significance of any of the interpretations.

I had to grow up learning about the basics of religious stuff, so it's kind of nice to study something out of the box, and very much against my father's rigid belief system :D

ARCHANGEL ARIEL

(archangel: an angel of higher rank)

I came across the few characteristics of angels/goddesses and their roles, and the one which really caught my attention was the female archangel, Ariel, the angel of nature.

[ source ]

In Hebrew, the name Ariel means 'altar' or 'lioness of God,' and her role is to heal. In addition to that, she is also recognised as a helper to another one of the seven main archangels, Raphael, whose role is to provide physical and emotional healing, too.

She is the protecter of the environment and the animals therein, and is bestowed with the duty to oversee the order of heavenly bodies as well as earth's natural resources. She assures the sustenance of food, water, shelter, and supplies of human beings, much like how a nurse is to a patient I suppose.

In relation to Yosano, I think this part is pretty self-explanatory, or perhaps this is blown out of proportion HA, so take this as a suggestion rather than a fact, because I'd like to believe that Kafka had a reason for giving Yosano a title as such.

In the past, I've come across the angel of death only to perceive it as a female grim reaper of some sort, so it was pretty cool to find that the word 'angel' and 'death' made up a title of a someone like Ariel, one of the purest forms of humility and compassion.

GREEK GODDESS PANAKEIA

For my beloved (wannabe/or not) students of Greek mythology (much like myself, let's make a cult!), you've probably heard of Panakeia, the goddess of healing. Medicine finds most of its vital significance in Greek history, and in its mythology, Panakeia is actually known for her ability to heal any kind of sickness.

[ source ]

Her name means 'panacea,' which is actually defined as a remedy for all diseases. Terminal diseases and injuries lead to death, right? This would bring us back to Yosano's ability to nullify any injury's effects on a person, keeping them from death itself.

Now, we know that in order for Yosano's ability to work, her patient, or victim, has to be in a near-death condition in order for her treatment to take effect. This can't exactly fit into the description of resurrection, but it can be described as some sort of rebirth.

GREEK GODDESS PERSEPHONE

So another goddess which reminds me of Sho Ho/Yosano, is Persephone, the goddess of spring and rebirth. Before Hades, the god of the underworld, fell in love with Persephone to take her to live with him, Persephone lived a happy life.

Hades, with his nature of darkness and the like, was captivated by how pure Persephone was, and stole her away from her former life to live in an environment which differed sharply from her natural aura of purity.

[ source ]

Remember when Yosano's friend left a note behind before he killed himself? The note said nothing except for, "You are too righteous." Take that as you will, but figuratively speaking, you could say Mori takes the role of Hades in the story, while Yosano can be portrayed as Persephone.

Sho Ho can also be a parallel of Persephone, in that she had to adapt to the realities of war and disharmony, while Persephone had to adapt to the raw darkness of the underworld with Hades.

Sho Ho stood against society's norms and decided to reform it, making her one of the most well-known feministic pacifist in history, while Persephone managed to escape from the underworld to return to her former position, earning the title the 'Bringer of Life,' or the 'Destroyer of Death.'

Furthermore, the way Sho Ho's anti-war poem took its effect later on, reflects the way Persephone restored balance in the world after returning from the underworld.

4. Yosano and Atsushi.

chapter 66; Yosano: "It's my fault that those close to me died... Is there some place where it's okay for me to live?"

chapter 8; Atsushi: "If I have any chance of saving them all, of returning them home safely, would that mean it's okay for me to keep on living?"

I couldn't help but think of Dazai and Atsushi back when I was reading through these panels. Ranpo (my beloved), along with Fukuzawa, accepted Yosano as she was, despite how her ability was a cause of despair and misfortune.

Ranpo looked past her mistakes and the entirety of how dark her past was to welcome her into the Armed Detective Agency. Dazai, on the other hand, knew who Atsushi was and what his ability had made him do before anyone else, and still decided to provide a safe place for Atsushi to find his sense of belonging, journeying with him as he learned to use his ability properly.

For more info about Dazai and Atsushi's dynamic, you can check out the analysis I did for Dazai :D

Atsushi desired to save people to prove his right to live, while Yosano made her wish to achieve the recovery of all her patients the reason for her existence.

Others would prefer to accuse both Yosano and Atsushi of having a saviour complex, but the reason why they pursued to save people with utmost dedication, stems from the nature of what their past was like. You know the saying 'from broken to beautiful?' Yeah, it's something like that.

The way their pasts were written out gave them a desire to change, which was, I daresay, initiated by the people who took them in: Ranpo and Dazai. Their abilities were demonised because of how they were used, but once they broke from their abilities' effect over their lives, they honed their skills to control them for the right cause instead.

In a less cynical point of view, I believe both Yosano and Atsushi stood for what was right, and wanted nothing but to achieve peace and harmony in whatever way they could, even if it meant risking their own lives to save others.

So yeah, that's it for my rants today. Thank you for reading, and if you have anything to add, go ahead! I'm open to discussions ;)

[lokiondisneyplus]

After spending over 30 years in the world of makeup design for film and television, Douglas Noe landed in the time-defying, creative playground of Marvel Studios' Loki. Serving as the Disney+ show's makeup department head, Noe not only designed the characters' individual looks, but continued to be Tom Hiddleston's makeup artist. Noe has worked on Hiddleston's Loki since 2012's The Avengers, carefully evolving the God of Mischief's look over time.

Loki isn't the first time Noe has spearheaded a makeup department for a Marvel Cinematic Universe production. Previously, Noe served as the makeup department head for Thor: The Dark World's additional photography -- making up approximately 20% of the film's final looks. He's also no stranger to the magic of prosthetic work and the intricate details needed for Marvel's epic adventures, having a creative hand in bringing both Captain Marvel's Skrulls and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s Kree to life on-screen. In the industry, Noe is also known for specializing in palettes for actors of color and has worked on stars like Jackie Chan.

In an exclusive interview with CBR, Noe discussed what it was like bringing The Avengers-era God of Mischief into Loki and his approach to doing makeup on a production stuffed with special effects. He also shared which MCU stars have graced his chair and his advice for makeup departments looking for practical ways to de-center whiteness.

Loki's Makeup Evolution

CBR: One thing that I noticed -- which I'm excited to pick your brain about -- when we first see Loki, he has a really pale complexion. His hair is greasy. As he evolves, his skin gets a warmer look. Was that an intentional progression from when we first see him as a villain-ish and how he grows within the MCU?

Douglas Noe: Yes, that's a very astute observation. Of course, at the beginning of The Avengers, he's kind of a wreck, isn't he? And as he settles and normalizes, his pallor then indeed calms down. It was very nuanced. It was only a matter of maybe one or two shades difference, but you definitely caught something most people have not.

That was 10 years ago, but it was a very minor detail we decided would be important as the narrative and the dialogue and the intellect of that character evolved into the storyline. It became important to kind of mainstream and refine his appearance.

Since Loki kicks off from that earlier version of Loki, did you think about bringing any more of that paleness to his look? How did you decide on how you wanted to show him from Loki's time period/first episode?

Oh, that's a good question. The truth is, from the end of The Avengers also shot again in Avengers: Endgame, we change nothing.

We did exactly what we did on Endgame that we did for The Avengers. And in turn, that's how we started the Loki series. It was that that look from Endgame, which, of course, is the look from The Avengers. No alterations were made, other than -- and I can already tell we're not getting anything past you -- we did warm him up. We did bring some more flesh into him... The truth is, that was Tom's idea. I get it because it was an unspoken understanding between us that there's greater accessibility to Loki if he looks more like most people. Now, those are my words. Not his. But, he definitely wanted us to warm it up just a skosh.

How Loki's SFX Affected Its Makeup Design

With Loki, there's a ton of visual effects. With makeup, it's so dependent on lighting -- it can change everything. What was the biggest challenge about working on a show like this that has so many special effects being added in post?

What you just said, it's working on a show like this. Marvel gets it and they do it right. There's almost an aspect where we lean into these kinds of things. And we change nothing to take into account the constantly evolving and changing lighting effects. The approach was to keep everybody natural, or naturally beautiful. Whatever happened happened. [We] knew Marvel is going to give it the once over once it's all done. And if there was anything to address that did happen because of lighting, it would have happened in post.

But, to my knowledge, nothing was addressed. We just accepted that. At certain times, people would be pink because of the light. They would be blue because of the light or purple and we accepted that and didn't try to make any attempts to balance it or right it in any way. We leaned into it and accepted it made it part of the story. It was its own character, if you will.

Sylvie's Makeup Was Always Meant To Be "Natural"

Building off what you said about a natural look for Loki's actors, did you always know you wanted Sylvie's makeup to have a natural look?

Absolutely, absolutely. The approach there was less is more. We didn't want to bury her in beauty makeup. It would have been very easy to do, because Sophia Di Martino is gorgeous, of course. But, the idea was let's do just enough to keep her naturally beautiful.

Practical Ways To De-Center Whiteness In Makeup Rooms

You designed Hunter B-15's look, and you're well known in the industry for specializing in makeup palettes for people of color. Since you've been in the industry for so long, what are some practical things that people within the makeup department, or its heads, can do to make it less white-centered?

That's a great question. Get out of the way. You have room for everybody, especially with today's explosion of content. But I would say to those who are going to hold tightly that they may as well just squeeze it out of their hands, "Just understand color theory." And, have it in your head that if somebody wants someone to do their makeup that closer represents how they look, get out of the way. It really is that simple. As you said, I've made it a specialty, a rite of passage to learn the ins and outs of all color tones. For me, I bring that to the table, so I don't have to get out of the way; but I know enough to know when it is time.

I have an anecdote that relates. I just did the Netflix series [True Story] with Kevin Hart and Wesley Snipes for eight episodes. And Tawny Newsome [who portrays Billie in the upcoming series] was our leading lady, a beautiful African American woman. I could have done a bang-up job, but that wasn't the right decision to make. She needed a female makeup artist because it was a modern beauty glam look we were going to do on her. Now I do get modern beauty glam very well, but I wanted somebody that would do it great. So I got out of the way.

What's one, nitty-gritty thing that helped in expanding your understanding of color theory? Any books or makeup brands?

Oh, well, I could talk about makeup brands all day long. But, again, go back to the color theory. Get a color wheel from an art store. If you don't know how to mix colors, how to make primary and secondary colors to get tertiary colors, get a color wheel and be a sponge. I'm, what, 36 years in this career? 31 in film. I've never stopped learning. I'm never closed off to garnering new info. And when I don't, again, I get out of my way. I'm not up to snuff on this contemporary modern book with the square eyebrows, so I hired somebody that was.

But, getting back to your point, there are so many books. I have countless books on this very topic. I would say, "Be patient, learn color theory. And accept that, especially now, we're in an era where you may just have to get out of the way. And let it be what the person in the chair wants it to be." Because, ultimately, that's who we're there for, the actors.

You've been working in Marvel's world for a long time. What's one Marvel character that you would love to do their makeup or prosthetics?

I've never thought about it because, to be honest with you, I feel like I won the lottery. When we started with doing Loki on The Avengers, we didn't know what was gonna happen. I'm trying to think, hmm. On Captain Marvel, I was doing Skrulls -- that was fun. I did some work on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. when they had a couple of episodes with Kree.

They were so cool.

Right? I'm trying to think -- I did mention to somebody before that on The Avengers I was given the choice:  [Jeremy] Renner or [Mark] Ruffalo or this new guy called Tom Hiddleston. The makeup was described to me and I was told that Hulk was going to beat him up a little bit and we were going to do a little something-something and they asked, "What do you want to do?" And I said, "I want to do a little something-something." So, I landed with Tom.

I'd have to really think, "Who would I like?" I've done Lizzie Olsen's makeup for the Tom Hiddleston film I Saw the Light. I've done Idris Elba's makeup a couple of times for a couple of Marvel films, but also for a movie called Takers. And I worked with him on a movie called The Reaping. He's a gem, of course... I'm really happy with who sits in my chair at the beginning of every day on these things. I've never thought past that. I garner so much pleasure and we have so much joy together. I'm happy where I'm at... I'm happy with Loki. I love Loki.

Well, Loki is coming back for Season 2, so you never know who will pop in the chair.

I've heard we're coming back, but that's all I've heard. That's all I know. And that's truly wonderful for me because ignorance is bliss. Whatever they dream up, I'm always eager to jump in and be a part of it.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer's "Hush" Monsters Were Hand-Painted

Digging way back into your history, you were once a makeup designer on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which is one of my favorite shows! What's one thing about that era of monster-makeup that you don't think gets enough credit for doing?

I always refer to Buffy the Vampire Slayer as Buffy the Weekend Slayer because we would get off on Saturday morning as the sun was coming up and have to be back to work a couple of hours before the sun came up on Monday... What you see is what you get. You had to be on your game. We were real craftspeople back then and there was no margin for error. The words that go with CGI simply didn't exist in 1999. You really had to be on point with makeup.

I would say what's lost now is the notion that makeup always has to be perfect. We know now it doesn't have to be perfect because we can fix it in post. I think a lot of people would say that helps us, but I think it handicaps those of us that are able to deliver the product without a computer's touch.

I remember I did one of the gentlemen on Buffy's episode, "Hush." My boss, Todd McIntosh, was saying, "You got to do the back of the neck... You never know what's gonna happen. You have to make sure that the back of the neck has makeup on." And, sure enough, the camera goes by and they were supposed to leave the frame, but the camera follows them. We just had to be on point and I think now many artists who came into the business with CGI, don't understand what it's like to be grinding your teeth and clenching your fists on set, hoping it looks okay because there's nothing left to fix it for you.

[icerosecrystal]

Jasonette - A Second Chance Pt. 1

Next

This one-shot contains major character death as well as blood and violence. BTW, to clear up their ages at the beginning of the story.

Alfred: IMMORTAL, MY CHILDREN

Bruce: 44

Dick: 29

Jason: 24

Marinette: 23

Tim: 21

Damian: 14

(Marinette’s POV)

Ladybug had failed all of Paris. She had gone into today’s battle, thinking that she and her partner Chat Noir would work together to defeat Hawkmoth. But, right when she had asked Chat Noir to take Hawkmoth’s miraculous, he froze. He then did the worst thing she could imagine he laughed. Chat then walked up to Hawkmoth while Hawkomth chuckled, “Little Bug, even your partner doesn’t support you anymore. Just give up.”

Ladybug froze, her mind racing. Her partner had betrayed her. He had decided that the cause they had been fighting for the last decade was no longer worth the fight. (I was going to make you’ll do the math, but then I saw I already told you Marinette’s age above, lmao.) She screamed in frustration and then shouted, “ Never!”

Ladybug or Marinette was a great fighter, especially after having been in the superhero gig for so long. But, Chat Noir was also pretty good, and he was allied with both Mayura and Hawkmoth. It was safe to say that the odds weren’t looking well for Marinette. She was growing tired, and Tikki didn’t have much energy left within her.

That’s when it happened, Marinette made a mistake. The next thing she knew, Hawkmoth had her pinned to the ground and had pulled off her miraculous, consequently revealing her identity. Hawkmoth handed over her miraculous to Chat Noir, who put it on. Chat, then turned into a deep purple, and a voice asked him, “What do you wish for, oh young one?”

Chat replied, “I wish for the rebirth of my mom, Emilie Agreste.” Marinette’s heart stopped. Her ex-partner was Adrien Agreste. And if he’s assisting Hawkmoth, that must mean that Hawkmoth is Gabriel Agreste, her idol. Then Natalie Sancoeur must be Mayura. Marinette came to those conclusions in a matter of seconds. But, after a minute, she started feeling sluggish.  She felt her heartbeat slow down. She was so tired. She just wanted to sleep forever. She didn’t feel so good at this point. Through her blurry vision, she saw a woman that looked like Adrien’s Mother appear. As Emilie returned to full consciousness, that’s when Marinette started losing consciousness. The last thing that she heard in a whisper was, “ A life for a life, that was the price.” Before she closed her eyes,  succumbing her body and mind to the darkness that lay ahead.

(Talia POV)

Talia Al-Ghul was expecting a lot of things today. What she was not expecting was to find Paris in a mid-battle, for one of the heroes partners to betray them, the villains winning, and then said hero dying. She looked at the body of the girl that everyone was staring at and thought she didn’t deserve to die like this, plus she might be useful to the league. Talia pulled up her mask to cover her face and then blended in with the shadows. No one actually so her until she grabbed the girl and disappeared. Her actions prompted a lot of commotion back at the battle location.

Talia boarded her plane, carrying the body in her arms. She was slightly worried about the potential effects the Lazarus pit could have on her. She had experienced the worse side-effects, courtesy of one Jason Peter Todd-Wayne. Talia could still remember his screams as he clawed his way out of the Lazarus Pit and started to attack all the assassins with the intent to kill anyone and everyone. They had barely managed to restrain him. She hoped that this girl would not receive similar side-effects. But, based on the amount of trauma and betrayal she held within her like Jason, it would be inevitable.

Once Talia arrived at the league with the dead girl, she walked out of the plane got some bandages. Talia then took the girl, or rather Marinette. She found out from a face scan that pulled up all her legal documents as well as her background information, to her father, Ra’s. Once she arrived before her father, she bowed her head in respect for him.

“Ahhh, daughter, you’ve returned. And who is this you’ve acquired.”

Talia answered, “Her name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng, twenty-three-years-old, and an excellent fighter. She lived in Paris, France, and was the main hero. Today was the final battle, and her partner ended up betraying her, getting her killed in the process.” She then handed over all of Marinette’s legal documentation as well as her background info to her father.

Ra’s looked through it and then asked, “How would she be a useful asset to the league?”

Talia responded, “After what happened with Marinette, she would have a thirst for revenge on the people that wronged her. I’m enunciating that we can use that to our advantage. The only problem is that Marinette carries around a lot of trauma, betrayal, and loneliness like Jason Todd. I’m concerned that she might have the same reaction for dipping in the pit.”

Ra’s nodded, considering the idea and agreeing that a person with the thirst for revenge would be a useful addition to the league.

Talia watched Ra’s, hoping to get an idea of what he was thinking. He then beckoned for her to follow him. He leads her to the Lazarus Pit, and Talia now knew that Ra’s supported her decision. She put Marinette down and wrapped her in bandages before dipping her in the pit. What happens next is alarming.

Marinette has the same reaction as Jason. This time though, everyone was ready. Talia quickly took hold of her and started whispering how she got to her destination and how she came back to life. Unlike Jason, though, Marinette doesn’t have as much of a temper, which helps Talia efficiently calm her down faster. Talia then tells Marinette, “Would you like to be an Assasin and fix those who have wronged you?”

Talia wasn’t asking. They would force Marinette if she refused, but they wanted to be her ally rather than as her foe. But what would she choose?

(Marinette’s POV)

A burning sensation was all Marinette felt. But she was supposed to be dead. So, what was she doing alive she got out of the green ooze that she was inside. Marinette frantically looked around while clawing the bandages on her to get rid of the burning sensation. When it didn’t work, she tried to claw her way out of the goop to ease the burning until someone caught her around her middle. The same person took her out of the green goop and started whispering reassurance in her ear. Marinette relaxed until the women asked a question that would change everything, “Would you like to be an Assasin and fix those who have wronged you?”

The logical side of her brain argued that she shouldn’t yield herself to killing others, that it was wrong. The other side of Marinette’s brain felt hazy from dipping into the ooze. It was also hazy because of her grief, pain, betrayal, trauma, and loneliness argued that revenge was the only way to go. She slowly let the murky part of her brain take over until revenge felt like eating ice cream on a hot summer day, great. She nodded her head in agreement with the proposition. The woman smiled and then introduced herself as Talia Al-Ghul, the demon head’s daughter. She spent the rest of the day explaining everything about the league to Marinette. Talia also explained rules that applied specifically to her. By the end of the day, Marinette had an outfit that she would use on missions and during training. Talia then left Marinette to settle in. Marinette looked around the room and sighed, getting ready for experiencing this every day from now on.

(Four months time skip)

It had been four months since Marinette became a member of the league of assassins. And as expected, she was a valuable member of the order. Her need for revenge drove her to work harder on missions.

One morning, Talia awoke Marinette with some news. “You will be going to Gotham to check on my son, who should be 14 now. You will observe how he communicates with his family, and if there any problems arise, you will assist them. Report back to me every day, understand?”

Marinette nodded, “Yes, Mistress.” Talia nodded back and then left to get the plane ready. Marinette wore her usual assassin outfit.

Marinette then went outside and stood before Talia. Shed waited for Talia to give her to okay to board the plane. Once she did, they both got on and reviewed everything they knew about Damian and the Waynes. By the time they arrived in Gotham, Marinette had memorized the information of every single Wayne. She said goodbye to Talia and tracked down Damian, watching him from afar in the shadows.

(Time Skip of a Week)

It had been a week since Marinette started observing Damian. She had to say that he was growing soft. Although, it had been four years since Damian was under league supervision. Everything was going all right on the bat’s patrol until it wasn’t.

The bat family was fighting some thugs at the docks when a thug snuck behind Damian, or rather Robin, and shot him in the stomach. Damian fell to the ground in pain, but still alive. This action provoked Marinette to let out a deep, feral growl. She then grabbed some of her throwing stars and launched them at the thug, effectively killing him in the process. Her actions lead the bat clan to shift their attention to her. They quickly fought off the remaining thugs. They then walked up to a bleeding Damian and Marinette standing in front of him as if to guard him.

Batman then asked, “Who are you, and why are you here?”

Marinette answered, “My name is Dark Angel. I was sent by Mistress Talia to look after Damian for a little bit and see how he’s fitting in.”

Batman then stated, “You killed the man.”

Marinette shrugged, “It comes with the job description. I’m an assassin. You know, a murderer who targets people that would be better off dead?”

Batman sighed, “Nobody is better off dead.”

Marinette shrugged again, so done with this conversation, “Speak for yourself.”

(Jason’s POV, sorry for the abrupt change)

Jason stared at the woman in front of him, who must be his age. He recognized her behavior from somewhere. Jason suddenly realized where he had seen this behavior before he exhibited this demeanor after he came back to life. That meant that she had died, and Talia was using her want for revenge like the league used his.

Jason asked, no stated, “You died.”

Dark Angel stiffened, “Who wants to know?” Yup, her reaction confirmed his suspicions she had died and was then brought back by the Lazarus Pit. Most likely recently by how raw her emotions still were.

Jason walked up slowly to her and remarked, “You died and later brought back to the Lazarus Pit. You probably have a thirst for revenge. I can see a lot of you in me. I can help you.” He tried to be as gentle as possible, which was hard considering his character.

Dark Angel backed away while shaking her head, frantically", No, you know NOTHING ABOUT ME! YOU DON’T KNOW THE BETRAYAL, THE TRAUMA. YOU KNOW NOTHING!!!“ She then ran away, trying to get away from the Bat Clan.

Jason looked over at Bruce, or Batman, with determination clear, in his eyes, "I’m going to go find her.”

Batman nodded, “Take RR and Nightwing with you. I’m going to take Robin back to the Bat cave, where Agent A can patch him up. Once you find her, bring her to the cave so that we can talk with her.”

Jason then nodded and grappled in the direction that Dark Angel went, with Red Robin and Nightwing following in his wake. After running for a little bit, they caught sight of her blending in with the shadows. They decided to split up to cover more ground. Jason ran as fast as he could along the rooftops when he finally caught sight of Dark Angel. She looked to be crying. When she saw him, she jumped off the roof and opened a portal falling through. Jason jumped after her and barely went through in time. He then fell on top of something and groaned. Jason got up and looked around. He realized that he was standing on the Eiffel Tower, was he in Paris?

(Marinette’s POV)

After Jason or Red Hood confronted her and tried to compare herself to him, she ran. She started crying, the emotions too overwhelming to not cry. Marinette cried for a little bit. But, she then caught sight of Red Hood running up to her. She glared at him and asked Kaakki to open a portal. A week after she had managed to become an assassin, she had returned to her room and got the miracle box back in her possession. Talia had no idea, and Marinette had no desire to tell her.

She jumped through the portal, she landed on the Eiffel Tower, and took a deep breath. Behind her, she heard a loud thud and then a groan. She whipped around to find that the idiot Red Hood had followed her through the portal. She saw him get up and look around before a look of realization spread through his face. Marinette saw him look at her. She quickly ran away. She felt him running after her. But she had a mission, and she wasn’t going to stop until she accomplished it. Marinette’s mission the demise of everyone that ever hurt Marinette.

She ran to the Agreste Mansion and went through Adrien’s open window. She saw him sitting at his computer happily looking at something. That asshole, he killed her and was enjoying life himself. “Adrien,” she crooned sweetly, “How are you? Are you having a good time since you got your mother back by killing someone else?”

Adrien looked frightened, “How do you know that?”

She walked up to him, hips swaying. She then pulled out her dagger and slid her finger across the blade, “I know a lot of things about you. Like how you are a selfish, asshole.” She then pulled him closer to her and put the dagger to his neck. “You deserve to die, slowly and painfully, and I will happily help you.”

Before Adrian could scream for anyone, Marinette had already stabbed him in the stomach where his lungs were. She was going to do his heart or behead him, but that let him off too easy. The look of pure horror etched onto his face as he fell on the floor with blood all over him, and the floor had Marinette smirking. She grabbed the cat miraculous off of Adrien’s finger and the ladybug miraculous off of his ears. She knew that Red Hood was behind her, but she couldn’t care less.

Next, Marinette went looking for Gabriel and Natalie. It looked like Emilie was out right now. So, Marinette wouldn’t kill her. She also didn’t take part in killing her. She found Gabriel and Natalie in the house’s atelier. Once they saw her, they prepared to attack her. But she had already whipped out a gun and had shot both of them. She had tried to shoot them approximately below where their heart was. As Marinette got closer to examine them, she realized that she had damn good aim. The bullets had hit them directly in the area she was hoping. Close enough to kill them, but far enough to cause them pain. Their blood was gushing out of them, and Marinette could tell that they would die. She grabbed the butterfly miraculous and the peacock miraculous. She brought Adrien downstairs to lie next to his family. Marinette then went back into the shadows with Red Hood following her right as Emilie arrived.  

Marinette watched as Emilie looked at her dead family and started sobbing. Emilie then took notice of the note next to them.

It read:

THEY TOOK A LIFE, AND NOW I DESERVE TO TAKE THEIR LIFE FROM THEM IN TURN. EMILIE, YOU ARE SPARED BECAUSE YOU TOOK NO PART IN ANYTHING.

~DARK ANGEL

Marinette watched Emilie drop down to her knees and continue wailing while crushing the note in her hand. Marinette watched closely, and she wondered if her parents did the same or if they replaced her like everyone else. She shook the thought off and then went to another house, the house of Liar Rossi.

Marinette her house, and went around it trying to find the liar. She found Lila in her room, practicing her crying. Marinette smirked to herself. She always knew that Lila had to practice crying with how many crocodile tears she let loose every day. She snuck up behind Lila and whispered, “I’ll give you a real reason to cry.”

Lila stopped her tears and turned around, scared out of her mind. “Who are you?”

Marinette snickered, “I’m Dark Angel, or more specifically, you’re worst nightmare.”

Lila started crying again, except this time, her tears weren’t as fake as her life. “PLEASE DON’T HURT ME, I’LL DO ANYTHING! I HAVE A LOT OF INFORMATION ABOUT THIS COUNTRY’S GOVERNMENT!”

Marinette took a knife out and ran it across Lila’s skin, causing a scream out of her, “Here’s the thing, Ms. Rossi. You are extremely selfish. You were willing to sell out your country just like that. Plus, I know you’re lying. It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. So, here’s the deal, the more you lie, the more I torture you.”

Lila spent the next thirty minutes telling lies. When Marinette knew she would be confessing, she gave Lila’s phone to Red Hood so that he could film her confession. Lila then broke, “OKAY OKAY, I AM SO SORRY!!! I DON’T KNOW ANY OF THE CELEBRITIES I CLAIM I DO. I DON’T HAVE TINNITUS EITHER! MARINETTE DUPAIN-CHENG WASN’T BULLYING ME, I BULLIED HER. I THREATENED HER IN THE FIRST PLACE WHEN SHE FOUND OUT MY LIES AND THREATENED TO TAKE AWAY ALL HER FRIENDS. I SUCCEEDED. I WAS ALSO WORKING WITH HAWKMOTH AND HELPED MAKE ADRIEN WHO WAS CHAT NOIR BETRAY LADYBUG!!! NOW PLEASE DON’T KILL ME!!!”

Marinette sneered and said, “Don’t worry, I won’t kill you.” Lila looked at her in hope until she stabbed Lila in the stomach, saying, “Oops, I lied.”

As Lila died, Marinette went to Red Hood and took the phone from his editing the video before sending it to all of Lila’s contacts. When she sent it to Alya, she asked her to post the video on the Lady blog before watching it. She then looked over at Red Hood, who was looking at her in shock. “Don’t worry, pretty boy. I’m not assassinating anyone else. Just torturing them.”

She then went to each of her classmates’ houses and tortured them, depending on how loyal they were to Lila. The person who Marinette tortured the least was Juleka, and the person that she tortured the most was Alya. Once Marinette had finished torturing all of her ex-classmates, she looked over to Red Hood and said, “Okay, I’m ready to go now.”

Red Hood looked at her, confused, “If you were going to go with me either way, why did you run?”

She shrugged, “Your clan had found me out. I wanted people dead. Plus, I was emotional as hell after your whole speech. I also still need to check up on Damian.”

(3rd Person POV)

Red Hood nodded and beckoned for her to open a portal. Marinette did so, and they both dropped through, ending up in the Bat cave. Their sudden appearance surprised all of the current occupants of the cave. Marinette walked up to Damian and asked him, “Are you okay?”

Damian replied, “Tt, ” and then nodded in affirmation.

Before Marinette could say anything else, Batman told her, “I now want you to explain to us who you are, why you’re here. Got it!” He then gave her the Bat glare in case she wouldn’t listen to him.

Marinette nodded and then spoke, “Hi, my assassin name is Dark Angel. My birth name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng.” A flash of recognition flashed through everyone’s faces. Unbeknownst to Marinette, Hawkmoth had been broadcasting the final battle. Everyone had seen when Hawkmoth had revealed her identity and when she had died. “I was a superhero in Paris. My partner and I were in the final battle when I found out that he had betrayed me and Hawkmoth’s side and was playing me this whole time. The villains won, and they made a wish to revive a dead person. In return, someone else had to die. In this case, it was me. The next thing I know, my whole body feels like it’s burning, and I’m inside of a pit full of green goop. Mistress Talia promised me revenge for the people that had hurt me. I excepted her offer. Since then, I’ve been an assassin for four months now, training every single day for hours. Talia told me to watch your family for a little bit as a mission, which was what I was doing until Damian got shot. You know the rest.”

Red Robin looked at her skeptically, “Where did you and Red Hood go when we tried to find you.”

Marinette looked at Red Hood before carefully answering, “I had some business in Paris, so to speak.”

Nightwing then asked, “And what was this "business” and how the hell did you get to Paris?“

Marinette sighed, rubbing her forehead to ease the throbbing, "You’re not going to let this go, are you?” When she saw everyone shake their head, she answered, “Fine. I was able to get to Paris because I have a miraculous that can open portals.” She showed them the miraculous and then demonstrated it to them. “Once I got to Paris, I committed my revenge. I killed my old partner, Hawkmoth, and Mayura. I also killed a liar who took away everything from me and was also working with Hawkmoth. I also exposed the liar. Finally, I tortured all of my old friends. Yay, I told you everything. Can I go now?”

Everyone looked at her, horrified that she was talking so casually as if she hadn’t just admitted to murderer and torture. Before anyone could say anything, Red Hood shouted, “No!” While taking off his helmet.

Marinette looked at him in irritation, “No? And why fucking not?”

Jason looked over at her, “Because I’m not letting Talia use you anymore.”

Marinette sighed, knowing he was right. Now that she had gotten her revenge, her mind was a lot more clear, and she realized why Talia wanted her to be an assassin in the first place. “Fine, so I’m staying here?” Everyone nodded, still in a daze from everything they just learned.

Marinette shook her head, and Alfred (THE AMAZING GOD THAT HE IS) came into the Bat Cave when Marinette was going to ask someone to lead her upstairs. As Marinette walked upstairs, she hoped that things would work out for her.

(one month time skip)

Marinette had been staying with the Bat Fam or rather Waynes for a month now. She honest to kwami had no idea how they were still alive. The number of times they pulled a weapon on each other was frightening, to be honest. As she got to know each of them, they felt more like her brothers and father, except for one person, Jason damn Todd. She really liked him. He was so gentle with her, and at first, she didn’t understand why. But one day, Jason told her his backstory. To her surprise, it was similar to hers. Once she figured that out, they connected on a whole other level. In fact, they had both sworn that they would try not to kill again. And naturally, the one guy who will probably ever understand her, she had to have a crush on.

Another problem was Talia Al-Ghul. She still hadn’t come to find Marinette. So she was either planning something big. OR SHE WAS DEAD! What, a girl could dream. Marinette then heard a crash downstairs. She ran downstairs and what she saw had her reeling. Talia was in the middle of the living room, playing with her dagger. Once she saw Marinette, she smirked, “Marinette, you’re here. We can go back to the league now.”

Marinette shook her head, “I like living here, and I don’t want to leave.”

The smile that was on Talia’s face disappeared, “Even if you do like it here, you still have to get revenge on the people that wronged you.”

Marinette clicked her tongue, “That’s the thing, I already did revenge on them. I killed the main ones and tortured the rest.”

Talia yelled in defeat, “Well, if you won’t come back, then you’ll just die!” (I know I made Talia super sweet at the start of the story. But let’s face it. She’s a manipulator and a bitch) She then charged Marinette with her dagger in hand. But before she could reach Marinette, she was dead on the floor with multiple bullet holes going through her.

Marinette, with a gun in her hand, sank to her knees sobbing. The Wayne family, having heard the gunshots, hurried to the first floor. There they found a sobbing Marinette and a dead Talia. Jason hurried to Marinette and pulled her into his arms. “Hey, Pixie, what’s wrong?” Marinette shook her head, still sobbing. The rest of the family, seeing that Marinette wasn’t calming down, decided to give some words of support before taking Talia out of the room and cleaning the blood.

Jason picked up Marinette, who was clinging to his leather jacket and took her upstairs to his room. He whispered soothing words in her ear the whole way. Once they arrived, he put her down on the bed and cuddled her, “Marinette, Pixie, Baby, I need you to tell me what’s wrong so I can help you.”

Marinette’s sobbing started dying down. Eventually, it was only an occasional tear with some hiccups and sniffs. “I made a promise that I wouldn’t kill anymore. I broke that promise. Deep down, I really am a murderer.” She started sobbing again.

Jason sighed and crooned to her, “Oh, baby. Do you really think that? I used to murderer people all the time. Does that still make me a murderer? No! It doesn’t make you a murderer either.”

He then started kissing her cheek, her eyelids, her button-nose, her forehead, her head, her jaw. He trailed kisses down her neck while speaking, “I- love-you-so-much. And nothing-is ever-going- to change-that. You- are not- a- murderer.” He then planted a fervent kiss on her lips, which she deepened.

They continued kissing until Marinette broke away to say, “I love you too. You helped me so much when I was broken.”

Jason looked at her in the eyes with a raw intensity, “Then if you love me, never blame yourself for what happened to you.”

She smiled softly, “I promise”, before kissing him once more, with a deep passion.

He pulled away this time and told her, “You have a chance to have a second chance at life. Not many people get that. Use that second chance to fulfill everything you ever wanted. Leave the past behind. Be who you really are. Who you were before everything. But move into the future, with me by your side.”

“A second chance,” Marinette whispered, “A second chance.” Before kissing him once more. She was going to be okay. They had each other, and they were going to get through everything together. Together no matter what, they were going to give themselves a second chance, and they were going to spend every second of it together.

[harpersplay]

What's your opinion on Rios and Nick's dynamic? I think MM and Ignacio have chemistry. I wish we got to see them work together and have a healthy family relationship but thats def not what we got. I still wouldn't mind if they had this complicated relationship. What's rly not sitting right with me is the way that Nick is abusive towards Rio and dont even get me started on this sick "love" triangle. Would love to know how you see it?

I think the whole storyline is a stupid mess.

Nick's "Power" He told Beth he was a caddie before he became a councilman. So after 15-20ish years, he hasn't risen higher than that? Councilpeople don't have that much power. If they had played it like Nick had made a lot of connections and simply passed info along to Rio (who also had his own connections), then fine. Still rewriting a lot of canon, but passable. But Nick mysteriously has all this influence. Cool. Where was he when Rio continued to work with the woman who got him busted? Where was he when Rio was "killed" and out of action for months? He obviously doesn't try to hide his connection to Rio (picked him up right in front of the police station, openly visits his bar, attends family functions together), but the show posits none of his political opponents dug up that dirt on him and used it. Please. Rio's (first) Beth-fueled arrest was on the news.

Nick & Rio dynamic It has only been a few episodes of Nick/Rio interaction and the writers are all over the place. The flashback episode made it seem like Nick was the brains and the driver of the criminal enterprise. Young!Rio's reasoning for going along was because......the one gym wouldn't take him back? That's it. So Rio was "forced" into crime by Nick, which is not at all how the character was written previously. Then the stool incident. Rio was needling Nick, so it wasn't like he was fearing retribution. He was shocked when Nick's bodyguard restrained him. But then he just brushes it off when Beth gleefully asks about it. And he doesn't seem upset about it the next time him & Nick interact. They tease each other, but sometimes Nick does actually seem to value his opinion on things.

The "love triangle" I've said since the first spoilers came out that I don't like love triangles. I especially don't like M-F-M love triangles because the woman is ALWAYS written as an object to possess. It's gross. And actually misogynistic. Although you wouldn't know that from fandom's hypocritical reception to this storyline. (psst: they like it because all they care about is Beth being desired by everyone.) And that's how it has played out—gross, misogynistic bullshit that objectifies Beth. Rio is acting like a tween with his first boner. And Nick is acting like a total creep. And for what? Beth never should have trusted someone she met thru Rio. I don't care how "clean" he's supposed to be. He openly admitted to Beth that he knows (at least) that Rio is up to shady stuff. So why did she trust him at all? And she most certainly did until the Secret Service showed up and set her wise. Nick has seen how Beth has ruined Rio's life. One thing that has been consistent with his characterisation is how savvy he is. So why is he getting involved with her at all? Because the writers want this dumb storyline. That's it.

"Family" I was over this brother/cousin nonsense after Nick's first appearance. Why is it a secret? It's not funny. It's not clever. And unless there's a Chinatown twist, it's pointless to keep dragging it out. If their relationship doesn't matter, then don't make it matter. You know? No one is clamoring to figure out Mick & Rio's relationship because "Mick works for Rio" is sufficient. So this is just more unnecessary drama that also shows how little thought the writers put into anything involving Rio. (I & some other haters called it. We've learned more biographical details about Nick in his scant time in the story than Rio in all 4 seasons. Krebs says: MYSTERIOUS!!!)

Additional points: If Nick had to be in politics, having him be a senator who spent a lot of time in D.C. and around the state would have been much smarter. Then the writers have an explanation for why this apparently actually in charge other presence (I wuv u, billy!) hasn't been around for really really really important moments on the show. And it would show a trajectory from caddie to local to state to national politics that is much more believable than "The Great and Powerful Councilman."

The ambiguous family stuff is low key high key stereotyping of Latine families.

The story would have been SO MUCH BETTER if Rio's boss was a woman. I would have preferred non-relative, but once I saw that they cast Marlene Forte as the grandma, I was fully ready to embrace her as the boss (I was stupidly—because I should know better by now—shocked by how they underutilised her). It would have opened up such interesting territory; especially in the face of Beth's continued use of her motherhood as a shield. And it would have been much more unique than this insulting men vs women thing they are doing.

Fuck! This got long. I hope I kinda answered your question 😬 You should definitely check out @jade-marie because she's written a number of posts about Rio & Nick and their relationship.

[lucky-sevens]

is there any more info on jonny before he was mechanized? i feel like i remember something implying he was nicer before he was mechanized

first off, i want to apologize for taking so long on this ask! i have several pending in my inbox that i have not gotten to, and i’m very sorry for that! i haven’t even been that busy, just procrastinating- that said, i do have a lot going on, so this may be a constant until my workload decreases, which will probably be around winter break; unless i find myself another project to have to do). (timestamp for future reference: this post made november 25, 2020)

but now, let’s get into the analysis! i touch on what you’re asking here, but i have also taken the opportunity to do a full analysis of jonny’s backstory for future reference! (content warning for discussed transphobia, rest under cut)

addressing jonny having a good heart, he says in his crew bio ‘I’m told I had a good heart, but the Doc dealt with that after the whole patricide thing.‘ maki has talked about this more on the mechscord, implying that it referred to him being a good person (rather than a more literal take) and that mechanization directly corrupts morals (more on this in a potential upcoming meta). however, we do not know specifics on how his personality was different. that addressed, let’s continue with trying to figure out what exactly happened in jonny’s backstory.

jonny’s backstory is presented to us in one eyed jacks, however, in his crew bio linked above, he says he made it up. this is with the exception of him killing his father. in death to the mechanisms, there’s the ‘you’re projecting’ exchange, which is a fairly well known joke, but for people who haven’t seen death to the mechanisms-

[JONNY] I mean, in Oedipus’s defense, it’s harder than it looks not to end up in a, emotionally-charged narrative climax where you murder your father. It’s…

[ASHES] No it’s not.

[JONNY] Everyone thinks it’s so easy, “Oh, I’d never kill my father.” But sometimes, life happens.

[ASHES] Most people don’t kill their fathers.

[TIM] You’re projecting.

[JONNY] I…

[IVY] Again.

this piece of banter could definitely be considered evidence towards him actually doing so. in addition, maki has said on the mechscord regarding his backstory ‘the best lies always contain a grain of truth‘ and implied that a lot of it wasn’t a lie, including jonny’s original last name (vangelis).

he did make some of it up, though, and that opens up an interesting pathway of analysis. a very common theory i’ve seen is that one of his lies is about the existence of jack. jack and carmilla fill potentially very similar roles in the narrative, and there are some subtle echoes of each other, like the fact they both only have one eye. the theory proposes that carmilla was the one actually filling the role of jack, and convincing jonny to commit patricide.

there is a song other than one eyed jacks that is likely to have more truth to it. the dr carmilla song homesick is likely a retelling of both jonny and carmilla’s backstories. in fact, it was originally played as a duet between jonny and carmilla. i have no direct source on this, but keep in mind exhumed and {un}plugged, which has the album recording of homesick, is a solo album, with only carmilla on both voice and instrumentals, and there’s actually an echoing voice effect to make it sound more like the recorded duet between carmilla and jonny (which can be found here). the other live gig where carmilla performs it on her own, lashings, jonny is absent, and the toy soldier performs rose red solo as well. as discussed, jonny killing his father is the part of his backstory that i believe can be trusted, and well, homesick has the lyric ‘dear father, i’ve come to kill you’. it also feels more like the truth than one eyed jacks, which is trope-y and sanitized in a way that feels like jonny d’ville wrote it.

from there, further analysis can be done of the lyrics in the context of them referring to jonny. an interesting aspect is that the duet has slightly differently lyrics, and dialogue in character after the song. quoting directly, jonny, likely taking the role of carmilla’s father, says “Get out of my house, never darken my doorway again. I have no daughter. Do what you’re gonna do, son. You’re a disgrace.” the easiest way to interpret this is carmilla being kicked out for being transgender, which has further support in that maki herself is a trans woman and that this iteration of homesick was performed at transpose london. there has actually been a very interesting book about trans culture published that discusses doctor carmilla and the themes thereof.

but i digress- from the perspective of analyzing jonny’s backstory, ‘do what you’re gonna do, son’ echoes the portion of one eyed jacks to the tune of ‘house of the rising sun’, where jonny kills his father. locke’s opinion on this is that billy vangelis is attempting to convince jonny out of killing him, flipping between approaches. (this also implies that jonny is a trans man!) the other change in this duet is that there’s an additional verse about their mothers (again, likely being a line that could apply to both jonny’s mother and carmilla’s), but not very much analysis has been done on this.

viewing the rest of homesick in this lens, it implies that everything in that song also applies to jonny. carmilla’s mother, siblings, and ‘lover’ (loreli) are all mentioned and discussed, and those could also be similar figures in jonny’s life. locke has suggested that ‘dear brother’ and ‘dear lover’ could be referring to the same person for jonny; a very close friend/boyfriend. xe has also conducted further analysis on what the song could mean, and formed headcanons based on that; for the sake of objectivity, and the sake of not making this meta stretch longer than it already is, i won’t go into them, but if you’re on the mechscord and you search ‘homesick from:jenn-locke#4349 in:sad-mechs-hours′ her thoughts are fairly easy to find, and xe is considering writing something up eventually, which i will link if it’s completed.

in conclusion, one eyed jacks has some truth to it, but homesick by dr carmilla is likely the most accurate picture of jonny’s backstory.