#the only thing I would prefer to avoid is names beginning with A or M or S since I already have many characters with those names
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mist-the-wannabe-linguist · 3 months ago
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Looking for help with naming a character 🙏
This one is for an Inheritance Cycle OC who comes from the Wandering Tribes (same as Ajihad and Nasuada). Paolini pretty clearly based them on irl North African cultures (Tuareg, Nubian, Hausa...) and I'd like to give the character an actual name from one of those cultures instead of just making something up as the author seemed to have done, but so far my research has been unsuccessful. If this reaches anyone from these cultures or anyone who has good sources, I'd greatly appreciate any help🙏
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sovonight · 1 year ago
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waiting | xan/radri, bg1 | ao3
—✧✧✧—
As the light from the window recedes, casting her journal into shadow, Radri sets a candle upon the candle holder on the nightstand, then reaches over the side of the bed, rummaging around in her pack for flint and steel. As she fumbles around for it, Xan glances over from his place beside her, and extends a hand.
"Allow me," he says. With a small gesture and a whisper of a command, the wick catches flame.
"Oh," Radri says, looking up the lit candle, "Thank you."
She abandons her now unnecessary search, and opens her journal once more. Xan glances over again.
"I never found the chance to ask what you write about," he says.
"Mm?" Radri narrowly avoids leaving a blot of ink on the page, and gives her pen a dissatisfied frown, resolving to be more careful. "Normal things, I suppose. What happened today, what quests are in progress, what supplies we expended…."
"A summary of events, then, rather than a collection of personal reflections?" Xan says. "Did you keep such a journal in Candlekeep, as well?"
In Candlekeep? She had never considered it. Imagining it now, her entries would have blended together in their sameness; her days were a mixture of lessons and chores, with the only real variables being the subjects she was taught, and the people around her.
"I didn't keep a journal at all," Radri says. "I was always so tired of writing by the end of each day—the last thing I wanted to do was light a candle and write into the night." She gives her current setup a wry smile.
"But now that I'm gone… there's something comforting about the routine," Radri says. "The scent of paper, the ink… even the flame. Though Candlekeep isn't so full of candles as its name would suggest."
Then she blinks, and lifts her gaze from her journal, glancing over to him.
"I remember seeing that you have a journal, as well. Don't you keep track of similar things?"
"Of our every encounter, foe, and death?" Xan says. "If I dwell too long on what has happened to us, I soon grow astonished at the fact that we are even still alive—and against my will, the mind wanders. I prefer to keep my entries to more pleasant reflections."
"Pleasant reflections?" Radri echoes, curious, "Like what?"
"What else?" Xan says, gazing at her softly. "Thoughts of you, and our love."
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Radri swirls the liquid wax around in the flat pan of the candle holder, drawing circles around the dying flame. Just as the wick is about to run out, she catches the flame on a fresh one, and sets the new candle beside her closed journal. Her journal entry for the day is complete; she is tired, and she is long due for reverie; and yet, something keeps her awake.
Xan. She sighs, staring into the dull, abandoned pool, watching the wax slowly begin to solidify again. She doesn't know why she's still waiting for him. He prefers to study his spells alone—and she has often fallen into reverie waiting for him to finish—but never so consistently or so often as in these past several days. A shadow has fallen across his dark, gray eyes, and though she lingers in bed, pretending to still be in reverie to ensure he gets all the hours he needs, he hardly looks rested.
When she asks, Xan says nothing. But—she hasn't really asked, has she? Are you alright, is no true substitute for, I'm worried about you. Is something wrong? Is it something I did? Are you avoiding m—
Radri gives her head a sharp shake. No—it does no use to jump to conclusions, and she's been through this dance before. All she has to do is wait for Xan to come tell her everything.
…No, that's not it. The last time she had waited, in just a tenday he had formed a conviction to leave her forever.
Radri stands, sending the candle's flame flickering in the residual breeze of her movement, worry suddenly taking hold in her chest. Her heart is set—she's going to go find him. Xan is probably still at that worn table on the floor below; at this hour, there are none but the stillness and darkness of night to keep him company. Her mind made up, Radri crosses the room in three quick strides, and opens the door—
—And comes face to face with Xan, who stumbles back a step in surprise.
"Radri," Xan gasps. With the glimpse he'd caught of her expression, he sends a cautious glance behind him, before facing her again. "You—you looked as if you were about to storm a dungeon. Are we leaving already?"
Then he looks past her, into the room, where the wax carnage by the candle holder she's been using to stave off the darkness serves as clear evidence of her sleeplessness.
"…Or have you not even rested yet, at all?" Xan looks worriedly down at her. Radri feels, for an instant, abashed to have raised his concern—but no, she has to collect herself. She is worried about him. And she must say it!
"I… I couldn't," Radri says. Yes, a good start—
"I…" she continues, and now, she should ask him now—
"I hadn't yet received your kiss goodnight." NO!
But her excuse has already left her in a nervous rush of words, too late to be swallowed now. Xan, understandably, stares at her—and mentally, she buries her face in her hands. How could her resolve have fled her so quickly?
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"I… did not know it was that significant to you," Xan says, slightly puzzled, and it takes her a second to remember what she'd said that he's responding to, "Forgive me for the oversight."
Leaning carefully in, as though partly convinced that she might prove to be an illusion once he touches her, Xan leaves a simple, light kiss on her cheek. When he pulls back away, he seems silently astonished at having confirmed that she is, in fact, real. But Radri's mind holds no room to process this observation; her fingertips rise to touch the kiss he'd placed on her cheek, and her face reddens in embarrassment. He'd… he'd humored her… but perhaps this is the best approach. After all, it's not in her nature to tackle an encounter head-on.
"Are you going to come in and join me?" Radri asks. Though she tries for casual, her voice seems, to her ears, to betray her hours of waiting and doubt. But if Xan thinks the same, it does not show, and he does not refuse her.
Xan moves through his nightly ritual, putting his spellbook upon the nightstand and leaning his moonblade against it, so that he might always have it on hand. Meanwhile, Radri feels as nervous inside as she did the first time they'd shared a room, and finds herself standing still at the foot of the bed, uncertain what to do with her arms.
Xan lays down on the bed, then looks up at her. Perhaps it's just her, or the distance, or the flicker of the candle—but she thinks she sees amusement in his eyes.
"Come here," Xan says fondly, and in that moment, the spell of her nervousness is broken. She hastens over and falls into his arms; Xan's soft, breathy chuckle floats across the top of her head.
"If you were in such a hurry, you need not have waited for me."
She curls up closer, nestling her head against his chest, her ear pressed to his heart. He misunderstands; what she'd waited for is his closeness.
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"Will you take my hand?" Radri asks; she misses his company in reverie. Xan sighs.
"I am in no state to show you my memories of Evereska tonight, if that is what you were hoping for."
"I don't want to see, so much as I just want to be with you."
"Well, then, I am already with you." Xan kisses her hair. Her heart clenches, and she tries again.
"Xan… has something been troubling you, lately?"
"I am surprised that you would ask me this," he says. "Many things trouble me, Estel'amin, and at many times." Though his answer is neutral, something beneath it is just slightly tense.
"Does it have to do with me?"
"You are on my mind too often for these troubling thoughts to never lead back to you." But he had hesitated… just barely.
Radri finds her breath caught in her throat. This is the moment; she cannot bear to blurt out any more excuses.
"Is it why you wait for me to fall into reverie, first, before you join me?" Her heart beats so loudly that it nearly drowns out the sound of her own voice in her ears. "I—Is it… why you've been been avoiding me?"
In the aftermath of releasing those words from her mind, she barely registers the fact that Xan's body has stilled, his breath frozen in his chest; her thoughts, many and jumbled, tumble forth, fighting for the chance to form on her tongue.
"I—I'm sorry," Radri finds herself stammering. "After all… it's an uneven arrangement, isn't it? You have such a beautiful city to show me, and I only have books and repetition—the same story, day in and day out. And then I finally left, only to start having these visions… these nightmares. Why would you want to live through them with me? I understand, really. I should never have—"
"Radri."
With one swift movement, she's no longer curled up against his chest, but laying on her back on the bed itself. Xan is leant over her, his arms on either side of her shoulders, his face cast into uneven shadow by the curtain of his hair. She can't help but notice the dark circles beneath his eyes, which are still apparent even in this dim light—but more than that, what strikes her is how pained he looks by her words.
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"Is that what you think?"
Radri feels, suddenly, that she's gotten the answer very wrong. She's transported back to Candlekeep: one of her tutors stares at her from the board, tutting at her, as Imoen, sprawled casually at the desk next to hers, signals secretly to her what she should have said instead.
But the Imoen of her mind's eye has no choice but to fade away without helping her; there is nowhere in the world that contains knowledge of what Xan is thinking right now, except for Xan himself.
"What," she says, quietly, "Should I think instead?"
Xan, surprisingly, does not answer immediately. He seems, for the first time in a while, lost for words—though not for a lack of emotion for them to express. She watches his expression shift, from reflection, to frustration, to helplessness, to—
"I have been trying to shield you from my struggles," Xan manages at last, "But I see that I have failed."
Pulling away from her, he continues, "I… I keep having visions."
"I am alone with you on a beautiful glade—and we are ambushed by monsters. I join you in your reverie—and wake up next to your lifeless corpse. I let down my guard, and you are taken from me—" He pauses, taking in a shaky breath, eyes glazed over by the memory, "And there are many more. You cannot imagine the perils my eyes see."
"Fear has always plagued me, Radri. Fears of dying, of losing you, of hurting you, of dragging you into the void of my lonely, desolate existence… But now they are not simply that: they are live nightmares I cannot escape, and I dread my reverie every night. How can I share it with you, when I know what my mind will show you?" Xan says, and pulls his gaze away from her, bowing his head. "I am lost, Estel'amin. Lost in darkness… and even the candles of your room are not able to drive it away."
Radri begins to reach out to him, but pauses, his words still running through her head. She feels like she's forced this from him; she's sorry to have pushed him. Perhaps, if she'd just observed in silence longer, she could have guessed that this was what troubled him… but she can't help but think back to that first night, when their shared reverie went awry. Even with her tears, her confession, his words, and his comfort, what she remembers above all is relief, to no longer be holding all of her fears inside.
So she brings herself to him, and she holds him close.
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"You can show me," Radri says. "I wish I knew what to say to drive this darkness away… I wish I could do for you what you do for me. But I will always be here to listen."
"I want to know everything about you, Tahlimil," she confesses; despite having spoken it in her mind many times, his name is still new on her tongue, and she feels his breath catch to hear it. "Not just your hopes, but your fears. Not just your shining moments of happiness, but your present sorrows. I want to be here with you, through all of it. There is not a moment in which I would wish that you had spared me… I don't think it's possible for us to spare each other, anymore."
Her heart is beating loud and fast in her chest; she wonders if he can feel it, if he can tell that she feels more nervous and vulnerable now than she does when she whispers to him that she loves him, before all the eyes of the world. Xan, held close, now pulls away to look her in the eyes.
"Estel'amin," Xan says, "I…"
He looks taken by disbelief and awe; he looks as if he wishes to kiss her. But then, another thought comes to him—and she can spy this exact moment, by the sudden look of resolve in his eyes.
"There is a question that has been on my mind for far too long," Xan says. "I have agonized over when to ask it, but I think it can only be now. I feel as you do. I would share everything with you: my memories, my emotions, my life… and I would know you, in turn, as dearly and intimately as I have only ever known myself."
He takes her hand; his fingers, and the rings upon them, are normally cool upon her skin, but tonight they exude pure warmth.
"I wish to forge the bond that will unite my world with yours," Xan says. "I wish to have you in my arms, Estel'amin… will you have me?"
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The building elation that she'd felt throughout his first sentences falters, stuttering to a halt. Suddenly, their closeness comes to the forefront of her awareness. His touch, his gaze, and even the mundane way the fabric of their clothes has tangled together around their bodies; to notice these things now leaves a weight in her chest.
"Are you afraid?" Xan asks, softly.
She can't respond; he does not push her.
"I know," Xan says, and if Radri were less preoccupied by her thoughts, she would note that his tone betrays a hint of nervousness, "This commitment is far too great to fathom in a single moment. An elven bond is the closest intimacy I could have asked of you; I have had many days to reflect on it, and yet I have not granted you the same. I am not so fragile that I will turn away from you if you refuse me tonight."
Hearing that, her head jerks up, startling him slightly. He thinks that this is what she would refuse? How could he imagine that she would, when even in the earliest of their days together—after she, by a miracle, had managed to convince him to stay—she had thought secretly, wistfully back to the kind of bond she had only ever been able to read about in books?
No, the cause of this pressure in her chest is from the other half of his request, tied so smoothly to the first: I wish to have you in my arms. She imagines that if she were anyone else, she would have already flung herself into Xan's waiting embrace, but though she tries to picture this, to rehearse for the actions she will surely take in the next moment, she cannot do it.
"I... I have dreamed of our bond. For an embarrassingly long time," Radri confesses, and says a silent farewell to such dreams as she admits, "But I am not ready to give you the rest of what you have asked. I'm sorry."
Ducking her head, she closes her eyes tight, ready to hear him sigh and turn away... but the sound never comes.
“Then our bond is all I ask,” Xan says.
Shocked, she looks up at him. Xan no longer looks nervous; he does not even appear disappointed, as she’d feared. Instead, he looks as if he’d received the very answer he had hoped for.
"What do you mean?" Radri asks, "You… you're still willing, to...?"
"Radri," Xan says, a fond, relieved smile pulling at his lips, "Our bond is the one part of my question that I had always feared you would refuse. The rest can wait until the day you wish for it."
For a moment, she can do nothing but stare in disbelief. That feeling of elation returns, building little by little, replacing the heaviness in her chest.
"Can you ask me again?" Radri says, feeling somewhat breathless, "S—so… so that I might accept properly?"
"I have longed to forge the bond that will unite my world with yours," Xan begins again for her, and adds, with a look of unbearable tenderness, "I love you, Estel'amin. Will you have me?"
And at last she answers in a whispered, "Yes."
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When Radri wakes, Xan is sitting up beside her, already awake himself. She stretches her arms out to hug him around the waist, and closes her eyes again.
"You've spent less time in reverie than I," she grumbles, "How is it that you're already awake?"
"Is it your wish that I return to bed, then?" Xan asks, brushing through her hair with an idle hand. "I will… But first, I noticed that you were running short of candles, so I brought you one."
Xan presents her with a lit candle. Radri, sitting up, beholds it with bewilderment.
"I… Thank you, but… if you're already burning it now, won't it go to waste?" Radri asks, looking at him. Still new to her heart, his presence and his feelings there are not yet easy to sort through, but she manages to single one out: anticipation.
"There is more to it, Estel'amin," he whispers, pressing a kiss to her cheek, "Just trust me."
Holding the candle between them, he faces her seriously.
"I wish to give you a promise, together with this candle," Xan says. "I… I feel you, now, as clearly as I feel myself. I know your fears as sharply as I know mine. And I promise: while you are here, with me, in reverie or in the waking world, you will not run out of candles, and whenever you have need of me, you will not find me wanting. —If you do have need of me, that is."
He extinguishes the candle, and looks at her with a slight smile.
"I almost do not believe it, but I feel… hopeful," Xan says. "And there, the candle is out. Do you forgive me for squandering it, now?"
"Yes," Radri says, barely managing to voice the word with how touched she is, and clearly past the need for any apology of his. "I'm… I…"
Xan just gazes contentedly at her, looking more at peace this morning than he has in days, and rather than trying to put into words what she feels after hearing what he said, she just wants to hold him. So she does.
"I suppose you will want us to return to reverie now," Xan says, his voice slightly muffled by the arms she's thrown around his neck. "I appreciate your offer to serve as my blanket, but it will be difficult to kiss you goodnight in this position… and I know how you cannot bear to forgo it."
"What even are you talking about," Radri mumbles, having reached her limit for deciphering spoken words the moment Xan's candle went out. There's simply too much information: from her heart, her head, this bond, and even the sun, whose rays are now peeking irritatingly in from the gap in the curtains at the window.
"Nothing," Xan answers, feeling all of this from her, and deciding to postpone his teasing for later. They have time. This hour, this day... and yes, perhaps even tomorrow.
full xan/radri compilation
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hansolmates · 4 years ago
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a hero’s journey (m)
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summary; jungkook and jisoo are the mightiest power couple. however, one drunken confession and that whole facade fades in an instant. you realize that maybe you need to break from your unvaried life for a bit and be the hero of your own love story pairing; jungkook x editor!reader (f) genre/warnings; best friend’s boyfriend au, slice of life, angst with a happy ending because im weak, pining pINING, everyone’s kind of a mess in their own sweet special way, alcohol use, mentions of ze weed, toxic relationships, mean friends, sex—slight dom!kook, food play, fingering, squirting, heavy use of the petname “pretty girl” bc im weak, strength kink, manhandling (oop!) w.c; 22.2k a/n; woof! my first fic for @goldenclosetnetwork​ 23 | jungkook’s birthday project! this goes out to all the closet romantics *ahem me cough* who doesn’t love pining between a cutie koo? a huge thank u for vivi @eerieedits​ for making this bbbBEAUTIFUL fic banner!  
prompt used: “I should’ve known.”
if you like this fic pls consider giving a like n’share🥺💜🥺💜
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It’s so easy to ignore the world. 
Maybe it’s a young-adult thing, but it gets difficult fitting into the 9-to-5 and playing to satisfy bosses that don’t entirely understand your work ethic. Maybe it’s out of complacency, or fear. But you prefer to let the world flow around you and when you’re needed, you’ll act. You’ve reached that point in your life where you enjoy the little things, satisfied by an extra hour of overtime tacked onto your paycheck, a new fabric softener, or finding the perfectly squishy yoga mat. 
You’ve finally started feeling comfortable in your shoes, uncaring as to whether you’re single or drowning in college debt, happy to live a relatively stable life. You’re grateful. There’s nothing more than you need than your happiness, and the love of your friends and family. 
Namely, your best friend from college. Jisoo always joked about how you two “won the lottery” as dorm rooms in freshman year were determined by lottery. Pulling numbers 883 and 884, you and Jisoo snagged a corner spot of the dormitory, leaving you two utterly cramped but utterly close as the years went by. Six years later and it’s still the case, the two of you have grown into talented working ladies. While you may not be able to spend time with each other the same way you did in school, you still care for each other. 
So when Jisoo shows up teary with a rumpled dress shirt and her hair waterfalling out of this morning’s bun, you break out the good alcohol and season three of Jane the Virgin for her. 
After the liquid is warm in your cheeks and you’ve fawned enough over Micheal and Rafael’s love triangle, you let Jisoo ramble. 
Jisoo has downed a whole bottle of soju on her own, while you’ve decided to have a tasteful glass of wine. You’d rather be tired wine drunk than wasted on soju. 
“Jungkook and I had a fight,” she warbles, stuffing a handful of popcorn in her mouth, “it was totally stupid.” 
Your eyes flash, picturing Jisoo and Jungkook in quarrel. They’re the epitome of an Instagram-worthy couple, beautiful and deathly charming to a fault. They show nothing but kindness and sweetness to you whenever you third-wheel, not a lick of anger between them when you’re all together.
So a fight is something surprising. Jisoo and Jungkook, J-squared are a power couple. Saying their names next to each other just emits a sort of energy you can only akin to famous small screen couples like Troy and Gabriella or Cory and Topanga. Jisoo’s Instagram is belly full with sweet selfies of them together, the doe-eyed man always looking completely sweet and gentle to the woman in his arms.
You never piqued Jungkook as the type of guy who would pick a “stupid fight.” And you know Jungkook pretty well. 
Maybe a little too well. 
“He surprised me during my lunch break and he caught me talking to Doyoung and he thought I was flirting,” Jisoo is practically eating her sweater, her head falling between her flannel pyjama sleeves. 
“Doyoung, as in your ex Doyoung?” you raise a brow. 
She groans, glaring at you in earnest. “Not you, too! I told him it was ridiculous to get jealous, and then I told him how jealous I get when he’s around girls and I don’t need to tell him that,” she rolls her eyes, twisting her feet petulantly in her fuzzy socks, “but then you know what he says back?” 
You wince, swirling your wine glass, “That you’re crazy?” 
“That I’m crazy, exactly! How did you—” her bloodshot eyes zero in on you, where you’ve tucked yourself in the corner of the couch. You swirl the ruby liquid in your cup, watching the feet web around the cheap crystal, “you think I’m crazy too, don’t you?” 
You swallow your sigh, taking your time to finish your liquid in languid sips. Uneasy, you wish you could just sink through the couch in order to avoid this conversation. Jisoo’s heart is generally in the right direction, but in terms of emotions she has the kind of sensitivity that you prefer to ignore rather than tread. Jungkook is also equally emotional, but in a different way. He wears his heart on his sleeve, preferring to keep things straight as opposed to bottling it up like Jisoo. 
However the theoretic bottle has reached it’s brim and Jisoo’s tipping, fast. 
“I need to tell you something,” Jisoo is swerving, crawling like an infant on wobbly limbs to reach your corner of the couch. You almost stop her, tell her you can continue this conversation in the morning, it’s what you normally do when she drinks into a stupor. But tears are swimming in her glassy caramel eyes and she’s grappling onto your blanket, resting her head in her lap. 
Her glossy russet strands curtain her head, so you don’t see the expression on her face when she says her next words: 
“Jungkook told me he liked you senior year, and I told him you weren’t interested so I’d have a chance.” 
Wow. So that explains everything.
The memories that you’ve tried so hard to brush away, the feelings you’ve tried so hard and continue to try to suppress, are laid out in front of you on a rusted platter. You could laugh, you could fling the rest of the Pinot Grigio down your throat like fresh water on a hot day and call it a night. 
But instead you choke back your tears, and push her off because you’re hurt.  
Deep down you know you would’ve been less upset if she told you the week after Jisoo and Jungkook called it official. If you knew from the beginning, it would’ve been easier on your heart. But it's been over two years since the past, thinking you’ve been needlessly, stupidly, delusional in thinking that you could’ve possibly had a chance with Jungkook.
Because it could’ve been you. And the reason why Jisoo and Jungkook fought today? Now you know it’s because deep down, they know they’re each other’s second choice. 
You can’t even recall a time where Jungkook and Jisoo were together alone before they suddenly started dating, remembering how it used to be you and Jungkook before Jisoo found him one day in your shared apartment, utterly smitten. And now you know you weren’t delusional, because the feelings and the signals you two were exchanging in senior year was real. 
But it doesn’t stop the fact that over two years have passed. Two years of a serious relationship between Jisoo and Jungkook, and two years of you secretly loving him from an arm’s length. 
“You hate me,” Jisoo removes herself from you, voice trembling. The quick, dark part of your mind wants you to snap back of course I hate you. You’ve trusted Jisoo with your life all these years, she was the reason you got through college so gracefully, why you enjoyed the past seven years of your life. 
But the sentiment is stained, and all you can do is deliver a tired smile and stand up. “I don’t hate you,” you say, “I’m just, really overwhelmed. I can’t lie and say that I’m not hurt,” your fingers clutch the fake crystal in your grasp, and for once you’re thankful you’re not strong enough to break it, “but you two love each other now and there’s no point in dwelling in the ‘what-ifs’.” 
Now that you think about it, when was the last time Jisoo treated you like a best friend? You stare at your wine glass, thinking that the only time comfort is provided in this apartment is when Jisoo is upset, never when you’re upset. 
Jisoo bobs her head senselessly, agreeing to every word. It’s pathetic, seeing her on her knees and her eyes glimmering with the hope that you’d forgive her straightaway. She must feel awful. That’s good.  
You sigh, needing to be the bigger person. “You need to call Jungkook and tell him he has nothing to worry about though, after all, you two have history now. As much, if not more than Doyoung.” 
“Right,” she replies, biting her lip. It suddenly feels like you're talking to a wall, carrying a conversation that's long ended.
“As for us,” you have half a mind to slam your glass on the counter, but instead you give it a heavy hand, letting slowly thump to the coffee table, “I don’t think I want to see you two, for a while.” 
“Understandable.” 
“And I don’t want to help you move out anymore,” I just want you gone.  
“Right,” she whispers. The both of you will be completed with your lease in two months, and Jisoo and Jungkook have decided to move into Jungkook’s apartment. As for you, you haven’t decided as to whether you want to go through the whole process of moving out or looking for a new roommate. 
“I’m sorry, I’m so so fucking sorry. I just was insecure as fuck in college and Jungkook was the first person I met in a long time that helped me feel more… like me.”
You want to say that she's right, she’s selfish. Her excuses aren’t palpable anymore. It’s too late. But if you were in Jisoo’s shoes, you’d think this apology is mere crumbs in comparison to your friendship. Why isn't she trying harder? Maybe because she doesn't know any better. After all, you never told her what you felt for him has morphed into love. 
You don’t even have to ask as to whether she’ll tell Jungkook this or not, you now know honesty is not her style. 
Jisoo doesn’t get a goodnight and a drunken kiss on the forehead like she usually does whenever you two have your late night talks. Instead, she seals herself to her own demise as you slam the door to your bedroom, effectively shutting each other out. 
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Work is a bitch the following morning. You’re like molasses, rolling out of bed despite the whole world and its mother telling you to go back to sleep. 
Your feet are killing you as you make your walk to work, deciding to wear a pair of red-backed heels so you can stomp your way through your day. 
Your Wusband (Work-Husband) Kim Namjoon matches you step-for-step, eyes glued to his phone as he catches you on the sidewalk. “Woman on a mission,” he comments absentmindedly, eyes glued to his phone as he follows the click of your shoes to your favorite cafe. 
You spare a glance to your right hand-man, eyeing him appreciatively at his dedication to your morning routine. He’s your favorite co-worker, one who keeps you on time to your meetings and keeps you sane when you want to pull your hair out and dig out a coffin in your little cubicle. Namjoon’s long legs always seem to catch up with you during your workweek, whether it’s to get coffee in the morning or to talk shit about the latest gossip in the breakroom. 
The bell of the glass door tinkles in your ears as you enter the café, relatively busy for the morning rush. While you wait in line, Namjoon ticks off your activity list for today. 
“Meeting with Victoria is cancelled this morning,” you groan in relief, your supervisor Victoria always scares the shit out of you even when she’s not doing anything, “and just the usual proofing and whatever we have to do on the third floor today—can I get a large iced Americano with a pump of caramel? Thanks,” Namjoon moves aside so you can throw your order in as well, “and after work could you stop by Vernon’s? He took a sick day today and he has most of the manuscripts for the next issue.” 
“Done and done,” you swipe your card in the dip, tucking your card away in your zippered pouch. “So like, do Americanos taste any good? Like it’s literally watered down espresso how do you pay to drink watered down tar—” 
Jungkook’s at the pick-up counter. Jungkook’s at the pick-up counter swirling stray sugar crystals with his thumb and putting them in his napkin. What an impeccable display of Virgo energy, absentmindedly cleaning things he has no business doing. You scoff to yourself, recalling this morning that Jisoo got off the phone this morning with a stupid smile on her face. From the mirror image that Jungkook is excluding while he’s smiling on his cellphone like a smitten teenager, it seems like they’ve made up. 
Nevertheless the hurt from last night is still fresh in your bones, and you force yourself to look away despite the fact that your morning pick-me-ups are almost done and are sitting tauntingly next to Jungkook’s elbow. Does he really need to learn against the counter like he owns it? Hair slightly damp from the shower, your heart beats a little faster at the fresh image.His biceps are straining against his charcoal lycra long sleeve, which is slightly damp from his morning run. Snap out of it! You are a mature, working woman who does not swoon in the view of bulgy muscles, especially when the man who owns those muscles is taken. Suddenly there’s a call of your name, and two cups and a paper bag are put in front of Jungkook. 
He blinks, and you immediately pale when you see his eyes flit over your name surrounded by your favorite coral pink beverage. You feel struck as his head perks up at the name and he narrowly makes eye-contact—
“The fuck you’re doing,” Namjoon gripes, shoving your guava iced tea and croissant in your chest, “standing there like a moron as if we don’t got shit to do today.” 
“Sorry,” you mumble, pulling at the brown paper bag to tug a piece of croissant between your teeth. The warmth, buttery pastry melts in your tastebuds. Ah, bread. Nothing like a little bit of carb to make you feel better. 
You’re suddenly thankful for Namjoon’s gargantuan torso from effectively blocking you from Jungkook, hauling you out of the coffee shop like a petulant toddler. He doesn’t even give you a chance to catch another secret look at the object of your affections, making sure you’re back in your work game before you enter the building. Even if he doesn’t know it, Kim Namjoon’s always got your back. 
Or in today’s case, breathing down your back. 
Without your third editor and a hard deadline coming up by the end of the week, you and Namjoon are working in tandem throughout your 9-5 to complete drafts for Big Hit Publishings Arts & Media section. Both of you take turns to bring snacks and feed each other, feeling like reading zombies and slaves to your desk as you remind each other to breathe throughout the whole ordeal. 
In complete honesty you don’t totally mind. Namjoon is a great partner-in-crime, and you both love what you do and do a damn good job at it. You call it “Buzzfeed but with Benefits.” 
And at least for today, you could quell the feelings in your chest from last night and this morning. Sure, you’ve always been okay with the pining you’ve had for Jungkook. The feeling comes and goes whenever it pleases, and since yesterday you’ve been okay with just admiring from afar and being their third wheel. 
However, now the feelings are acutely comparable to a third-degree burn with the help of Jisoo playing with fire. 
With a quiet exhale, you concede in your gaming chair (because it’s just so damn comfy to keep in the office.) You’re an adult and not a petty child, and you will not let this piece of information derail you from your calm, stable lifestyle. 
But honestly? Fuck Jisoo. 
“Let’s go, buckaroo,” Namjoon logs off for you, the cinnamon-y smell of his shampoo effectively waking up your senses, “it’s already 5:30. And you said you’d stop by Vern’s to get his drafts.” 
“Right,” you blurt, mindlessly putting away your papers and snack wrappers in your bag. You can’t believe the whole day’s gone already. 
“Maybe you don’t even have to go to his apartment. Just text him or whatever.” 
“Sounds good, thanks Joonie.” 
“And y/n?” Namjoon gives you a look that causes you to force a terse smile, one you give one too many times to higher-ups at work. It isn’t to insult Namjoon by any means, but you guys are partners, the kind that tell way too much but hide just enough to remain close from afar. “Take it easy, will you?” 
“I will,” you concede, stretching your arms, “I’m def overdue for a massage.” 
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“You don’t look sick,” you scoff, taking in the casual look your co-editor boasts as he leans casually against the doorway. 
Hansol Vernon Chwe is the epitome of fluffy, decked out in large electric blue sweats and his russet brown hair curling softly above his porcelain skin. Not only is he your co-editor, but also a friend from college. Not to the extent that you were with Jisoo and Jungkook, but you operated in the same publishing club and managed to get partnering internships that made you the co-workers you are today. You see a little bit of that collegiate youth in Vernon right now, as he looks well-rested and fresh faced despite the fact he probably didn’t apply moisturizer or drink enough water today.
“But you kinda do,” he tilts his head, noting the heels that adorn your feet, “you’re wearing your sexy shoes today, that means something’s going on.” 
“Gee, ever the ladies’ man,” you scoff, getting under his arm to invite yourself inside, “all I want is the completed interviews so we can pick out the best parts and draft them. Then I’ll be on my merry way.” 
“Oh c’mon, we’ve been talking nothing but work this whole damn month. What happened to college when we’d talk hours about House Hunters, the safeness of library sex, that little furry thing in Lincoln Hall’s urinal? That was prime conversation.” 
“Vern, I’m just here for the drafts,” you sit at his tiny kitchen table, glaring at his open laptop.  
“You could’ve just emailed me,” he teases, twisting around his chair so he can rest his arms against the back. “But since you’re here, that means you probably wanna spill some tea but you’re too upset to admit it.” 
“If I talk will you stop talking like that?” 
“Yes. Give me the juicy details. Need some juicy juice.” 
“Nevermind, get out of my apartment.” 
“Uh, this is my apartment.” 
“My point still stands,” you make another face at his outfit, “you look like the blueberry girl from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.”  
Vernon purses his lips, scooting his chair closer to yours. He’s unfazed by your insult, far used to your defenses being higher up than Fort Knox. He looks up at you with his pretty lashes and deceivingly sweet caramel eyes, leaning his head along the backrest. “C’mon, tell me what’s bothering you,” he says in a gentle tone, coaxing you open. 
He always knew how to do it for you, a little bit of sweet talking and that clear open gaze always reduced you to shreds in university. For him, it always took a good meal and some sci-fi movies to get him to talk. That must be why you’ve stayed friends for so long, you two knew how to connect. 
Finally you crack, kicking off your shoes and hoping the sharp end doesn’t land on his cat. You hear Luna meow in protest but she’s got great reflexes. Unbuttoning the first three buttons of your stuffy blazer, you air out your cleavage, not caring about Vernon’s gaze. He’s seen worse. 
“Remember Jeon Jungkook? Majored in graphic design.”
“Ah, yeah. The guy who like, lived at the gym and the dining hall? Haven’t seen him in a minute,” his eyes seem to glaze over the glory days, reminiscing in the simultaneous safetynet and stressor that made up your early twenties, “didn’t you guys hit it off real well? Like I remember you ditched like—three sci-fi nights to study with him. Who even studies at 1AM?” 
“Yeah, we did,” and you can’t help but frown at as you remember the 7-Eleven runs, the utter warmth you felt when he would wipe a stray rice grain off your cheek, and how happy you felt to laugh so much with him it hurt, “but uh. Jisoo got drunk last night, because they had a fight. And she sort of admitted to me that she sabotaged our relationship and told Jungkook I wasn’t interested in him so they could start dating. Two years later and here we are.” 
A pause. And then, “Want a beer?” 
Vernon doesn’t even wait for a response when he gets up, bare feet slapping against the tile as he prepares some drinks and snacks for you. 
“That’s pretty fucked up,” he practically sing-songs among the cacophony of popcorn pop-pop-popping in the microwave. The aroma of buttery kernels is all but a relief, reminding you of movie matinees, “and like, she knew you liked him! It was totally obvious, even if you didn’t spell it out for her.” 
“Yeah,” you practically gushed to Jisoo those past two months, every waking moment with heart-eyes over the talented graphic designer Jeon Jungkook. 
“I can’t believe Jisoo would keep that a secret from you for so long. Like, can you even trust her anymore?” 
“Don’t know, was she even my bestfriend or was I just a good roommate to her?” you ask. Vernon is holding two beers in one hand and a bag of popcorn by the tips of his fingers in the other, careful to not burn himself. Opening the beer for you, you thank him and take a long swig.
“Well, good thing you’re still not in love with him or whatever. That would really suck. Unless—”
The look on your face says it all. You’re practically snotting into your bottle, your face tucked into your chin as you fight hard to stop the tears you’ve been suppressing for the last two years. “Don’t give me your pity,” you garble, turning away from the sad look Vernon gives you as he wraps his arms around you. 
The tears are soft and gentle, flowing freely onto the cotton of Vernon’s arms as you let it out. 
“‘M’not,” he concedes, rubbing his chin into your neck. He really is a lot like Luna, just like his  cat ready to give you affection. “Let’s just, get some take-out and watch Hamilton or something.” 
He lets you wear his matching sweat suit, lime green, as you order Thai food and rap along to Hamilton’s sick beats. Vernon does a better job keeping the flow, but you’re having a good time being his hype man as he parades around the living room like it’s 1776. 
You go home that night around ten o’clock, feeling noticeably lighter and more relaxed. Be that it may you are still wearing the sweatpants and heels ensemble, you feel comforted. 
The apartment is quiet when you walk in, not a single light turned on. You get a slice of the city lights bleeding in from the organza curtains, which allow you to kick off your heels and hobble to where you think the kitchen counter is. 
Today is Jisoo’s day to cook dinner. You can tell she decided to cook today from the faint smell of Japanese curry and a small unwashed plate in the sink. Whenever it was someone’s turn, they usually left an extra bowl or serving in it for the other roommate when they got home. Unsurprisingly, you find no such thing on the counter or in the fridge. 
You’re not upset, but rather decided. If Jisoo is going to let your friendship fade off with no intention of redeeming herself, then you should give her the same amount of energy back. You realize now the apology she gave last night wasn’t for you, but empty words to make her feel better and mend whatever toxicity she’s created in her own relationships. People like Namjoon and Vernon reminded you that you didn’t need to try and earn other people’s friendships. 
It’s disappointing, but the feeling is all but too familiar. 
If you could describe Jisoo as anything, it would be the color pink. Blushing, beautiful, beguiling pink. The way she flushes when Jungkook does an uncalled for grandiose gesture of romance, or when she wears a hot magenta number when she’s hosting a fashion show. Jisoo is the personification of La vie en rose, unbothered and unabashed.  
But now all you see when you think of Jisoo? Nothing but red. 
With that, you go in your room and untack the polaroid of you and Jisoo at the carnival last month, putting it away in your junk drawer to be forgotten. 
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“You’re running away.” 
“Am not.” 
“Are too,” that interjection comes from Vernon’s roommate, Jung Hoseok. He’s been watching you two bicker over work for the past hour while he plays GTA5, failing to get a good hard carry because you and Vernon are too busy discussing whatever finishing touches you need on your final draft. 
“No one asked for your opinion, Jung,” you throw over your shoulder. 
“I’m just saying,” Hoseok flicks his wrist and nabs a tank, “you never wanna go home, you eat all our food, and I found your pyjamas in my laundry basket.” 
“You said your basket was the blue one,” you hiss under your breath. 
“The navy blue one,” Vernon chirps unhelpfully, “not the electric blue one.” 
Hoseok hits “save” on his campaign, disconnecting from his PS4 and stretching his lean limbs. “I mean, we could use a third roommate,” Hoseok jokes, getting up from the couch and grabbing a handful of M&Ms from your bowl, “you do make a bomb mac n’cheese.” 
“Appreciated,” you relent when Hoseok presses a kiss to your cheek and tells Vernon he’ll be back late working, leaving you and Vernon alone in their shared apartment. When Hoseok is gone, you stare at the door, tilting your head, “y’know,” you remark, “Hoseok’s a cool guy, why did I never hang out with him in college?” 
“Because he was stoned the majority of senior year and you just didn’t vibe with that crowd.” 
“Oh, yeah.” 
“But, you’re trying to change the subject,” Vernon carefully untacks your hands from your keyboard, knowing that you two have already been done with this month's issue and you’re now just mindlessly re-reading emails. “You’ve been here since Thursday, and now it’s Saturday. And as much as Hoseok and I like having you around so you can wake me up before we go to work, it’d be nice to throw me a bone and let me in on what you’re thinking right now.” 
You frown, noting Vernon’s large hand covering your laptop closed. He isn’t going to remove his hand anytime soon unless you talk. “Jungkook’s helping Jisoo pack up her half of the apartment this weekend and I don’t want to be there,” you say, short and simple. 
“You miss her?” 
“Yeah,” you admit honestly. You hate this version of yourself, unable to even look at Jisoo nowadays despite the fact you’re under the same roof for the remainder of the month. It’s hard to believe that the roommate from six years ago finally got under your skin, cancelling out all the years of friendship because of one silly relationship, “sad she doesn’t want to be my friend anymore.” 
“Did you talk about it?” 
“There’s nothing to talk about,” you reply despondently, “if she cared at all she would’ve to apologize again by now.”
Vernon figures, and his neutral expression doesn’t change as he leads you to the couch, brushing away Hoseok’s things so you two can get comfy. You busy yourself with the remote, exiting the PS4 homepage to scroll Netflix. 
“And are you trying to get over him?” 
“I mean, yeah,” you have been, but it’s a little hard when you’ve been contentedly pining. It was easy to keep your feelings bottled up because you originally thought Jisoo and Jungkook were meant to be for each other for the past two years. Now you're still pining but ruefully bitter at Jisoo.
“It’s not fair, y’know. She broke girl code, bros before hoes. Or is it chicks before dicks?” Vernon shakes his head at his lame attempt to get you to smile, which works anyway because Vernon’s silly and his sense of humor always gets you a little loose. “It’s your house too, you shouldn’t feel like you don’t belong there.” 
“Well I was supposed to help her move out this weekend, and I’d prefer it if Jungkook didn’t know what was going on.” 
“What?” your friend furrows his thick brows together, tucking his hands under his knees as he leans into your stubborn expression. “You’re gonna let Jungkook go on with his life not knowing that his relationship is based on a lie. That’s not cool. Even if you’re into him, he’s still your friend.” 
Damn, when did Vernon get so good at giving advice? Truth is Vernon’s always been good at dishing advice, you’ve just been privy to what you wanted to reveal to him. The first year or so being together outside of college was always about work, saving each other’s asses to ensure you two got that promotion and aim higher and higher. Now that goal is out of the way, and what better way to reconnect over some shoddy romance straight out of a Degrassi special? 
“I know,” you hug your knees tight to your chest, “when I’m ready, okay?” 
“Okay,” he agrees, because he’s not a pusher, “do you know the best way to get over someone?” 
“What?” 
“The best way to get over someone, is to get under someone," he emphasizes that point with his hands, sliding one under the other with a wiggle of his thick brows.
You slap him on the shoulder, “Vern, you disgust me.” 
“But it works!” 
“I’m not going on Tinder to find a fuckbuddy.” 
“You don’t have to look on Tinder or Tumble.” 
“Bumble.” 
“Whatever,” and his eyes flicker to his lap, where his pale fingertips turn red as he grips the edge of a throw pillow. "If you really don't wanna find someone, I can help." 
Is Vernon offering himself up? He is offering to fuck your brains out in the hope that you could inevitably fuck out your interest in Jungkook? Your eyes flicker over to Vernon's form on the couch, who's tucked in the couch just as you are. 
It’s true that you find Vernon attractive, and to some extent he definitely finds you attractive as well otherwise he wouldn’t have suggested the idea. It’s just that in college you never viewed him in that kind of light, probably because you were always so caught up in Jungkook. But tonight you can’t seem to ignore the eagerness hidden in Vernon’s carmine gaze, and how shiny and touchable his chocolate locks look under the setting sun. 
“I don’t want our friendship to change,” you reply slowly, furrowing your brows. “I appreciate it, but I don’t know. It sounds like a temporary fix.” 
“Can’t knock it if you don’t try it,” and out of curiosity, you don’t shy away when Vernon leans over to you, squeezing himself between the couch so he can tuck you in his arms. “I want to help you, but only if you want to.” 
Maybe it’s the frustration you feel with Jisoo, Jungkook’s ignorance, or the fact that you haven’t felt physical pleasure in such a long time, but you soften into Vernon’s hold. He’s relaxed, nothing betraying him as he waits patiently for your answer. You’ve always admired how much he kept up his “cool as a cucumber” demeanor. He isn’t the type of guy to let life pass him by, but he’s the kind of person who walks along life, embracing the ups and downs like old friends. He’s the ocean waves that crest along the shore, pushing and pulling along without a care in the world. 
He’s the textbook opposite of Jeon Jungkook, which is why you give Vernon the okay to lean in and press his lips against yours. 
His kisses are soft, and he takes great care in making sure you’re comfortable with this new step in your relationship. It almost feels as if you’re cutting corners, and you can’t help but feel a little guilty that you revel in the way Vernon’s hands trail under your too-large t-shirt. 
The pleasure you’ve ached for is there, bubbling low in the pit of your belly. It’s hard to get you out of your mind however, because this man isn’t the one you love. His kisses hold no power, only brief reprieve. Your heart doesn’t palpitate and your palms don’t sweat, you’re just languid. 
You’re greedy and selfish, but you remind yourself that it’s okay to allow yourself of these freedoms, even for a little bit. As Vernon finds your sweet spot that has you rolling your hips against his, you find that temporary fix isn’t a bad start at all. 
When you trudge back to your apartment that night after much reluctance, your face is still flushed and you think you smell a little too much like Vernon’s cologne. But the fact that still stands is that you're satiated, and you feel a tiny percent closer to moving on. 
The television is glowing with a terrible reality TV show, angry brides upset over cake layers or whatever. Jungkook and Jisoo have fallen asleep on the couch, surrounded by half-empty boxes. Jungkook has his arm lazily over Jisoo, her petite body fitting perfectly between his chest and the crook of his neck. 
You scoff when you spy Jisoo's bedazzled manicure digging into Jungkook's bicep, as if someone's going to take him away if she doesn't hold tight.
With stiff muscles you spare one look at Jungkook, ignoring the pang in your chest as you weave between boxes to turn the TV off. Barely an iota of your feelings have dissipated since your previous tryst with Vernon not an hour ago. Looking at Jungkook brings it all back, unfortunately. You suppose the feelings will pass with time. The soft hum of the television ceases, and you’re bathed in a room that feels dark and empty, despite the apparent life in the room. 
There’s some bleary talk coming from the couch as you walk to your bedroom, and if Jungkook is sleepily mumbling your name in question, you pretend you don’t hear. 
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“So, where’s y/n? I thought she was going to help us pack.” 
It’s an innocent enough question, as Jungkook scans the corner of the living room hallway that leads to the bedrooms. You haven’t come out yet. He knows that you love sleeping in on the weekends, but he hopes the smell of fresh food will coax you to the table. His pan is sizzling in protest, telling Jungkook to quit talking and flip the hashbrowns. He's fried up three, in the hopes you’d be up for some crispy potatoes. He knows how much you love potatoes, especially at 2AM when you’re craving fries and a McFlurry combo. 
Instead Jisoo mutters, “You toasted too much bread, you know I don’t eat bread like this,” she’s pulling slice by slice out of the toaster, until there’s a stack of six golden toasts in the middle of the kitchen table. 
A little part of him wishes to quell the precursor to the argument there. It would be so easy for Jungkook to say, “the extras are for me” because he’s trying to gain weight, and that would be that. 
Instead he continues with his unanswered question and replies honestly, “I made extra toast for y/n, babe. She was supposed to help us pack but I haven’t seen her all weekend.” But he’s pretty sure you came home last night, unless that was his imagination. 
Jisoo pulls a carafé of apple juice out of the fridge, pouring the amber liquid into two glass cups. “Ah, she said she had some last minute things to do for work. Y’know, Big Hit always wants a big hit.” 
He chuckles, tilting his head as Jisoo gives him a small smile from the kitchen table. Jisoo is always good at cheesy jokes. “She must love her job, huh.” 
“Yeah.” 
“Her articles are really good, too,” the air smells like butter and Italian seasoning, as he places one hash brown on Jisoo’s plate, and two on his. He knows you edit in the Arts & Media section, and loves how you make it a point to include video games and modern graphics when it’s deemed appropriate. “She did a piece on the evolution of RPG and I thought her commentary was really spot-on.” 
He brings breakfast over to the table, while Jisoo places two slices of toast on his plate, one buttered and one with strawberry preserves. Breakfast is a quiet, but peaceful affair. Jungkook takes note of how Jisoo takes extra long to complete her meal, her fork creating ribbons in her little blob of magenta jam. He allows himself to complete his first hashbrown and a slice of toast before asking the difficult question. 
“Are you and y/n okay?” and he also takes note when Jisoo’s ministrations on her jelly stop, as she looks up at him with her big brown eyes. 
“We’re fine,” she insists, “just normal roommate issues, I promise.” 
“Maybe I should text y/n,” Jungkook says, pulling out his phone. “Lemme help you fix this, wouldn’t want you and her in a bad place when you’re about to move out.” 
“Baby, why are you so concerned about y/n?” Jisoo croons while his thumb hovers over your contact, his screen showing a two-year old selfie you two took during a study session early on in your friendship. He can’t remember the last time you two took a picture together out of spite, one without Jisoo. Jisoo’s hand pulls him away from his phone, rubbing small circles between his palm. 
He wants to ask, why aren’t you? But he sees the terseness in Jisoo’s smile, as her eyes fix between the interlocked fingers. He has a feeling he’s hovering somewhere he isn’t allowed to be in. Maybe it really is roommate stuff and it’s none of his business, but he feels a little insulted being left out because you and Jungkook are just as much best friends as you were in college. 
Or are you? 
This question plagues him throughout the day, and when Jungkook packs enough boxes for the weekend and says he needs to go home, Jisoo for once doesn’t argue. Normally Jisoo would cling to him like a koala, murmur simultaneously adorable and dirty things in his ear and lead him to her bedroom to coop up for hours on end. But Jisoo says she’s tired and needs some alone time, which is also fine. 
He doesn’t feel like going home, and instead heads straight to the gym. A couple pumps wouldn’t hurt, and it would clear his head. It’s nearly five in the evening when his body is thrumming with the afterglow of his post-workout, and he decides to take a little cool down in the mall and treat himself to a smoothie. 
It must be kismet when he sees you coming out of the bookstore, looking a little winded but no less professional in your beige blazer set and rose gold iPad. Whenever he hung around your apartment with Jisoo and you’d come home from work, he’d make it a point to acknowledge your plethora of multicolored skirt-suits. He never needs to be professional in his place of work, and admires how much effort you put in. 
“Hey!” he jogs up to you, and he catches the way your shoulders jump at his voice. “We missed you today.”
Your smile curls into something dry, and you twist your spine like rusty hinges to face him. In turn, his smile dims a little, wondering if he’s doing something wrong. Maybe you’re tired? He catches the line of sweat that glistens your baby hairs, and how your hair is done up but has fallen a few centimeters with some pieces falling out. 
“Jungkook,” you exhale, “lifting boxes wasn’t enough of a workout?” 
“You know me,” he replies stiffly, hiking his backpack higher upon his shoulder. Why does this conversation feel so awkward? “So, finishing up work? Sucks you have to work on a Sunday.” 
“Ah, it wasn’t so bad,” you face relaxes a little as you explain your work, “it was children’s day at the bookstore and they were watching Disney movies. I’m writing a piece on how I believe Ratatouille is Pixar’s magnum opus. Interviewed some kids, I wanted an expert opinion.”  
“Ratatouille is the superior film,” he declares with a firm nod, “after all, anyone can cook.” He revels in the small smile he manages to retrieve from you, immediately understanding the inside joke. If he came out of the gym five minutes earlier, he probably would’ve been able to catch you in the bookstore. What a shame, he would’ve loved to see you play around with the kids. 
At the mention of food, the mall manages to silence itself enough for him to catch the grumbling coming from your stomach. He laughs when your cheeks heat. 
“I was on my way to get some smoothies,” he jabs a thumb in the direction of the food court, “wanna catch up and get a bite?” 
“Oh, I don’t know, I have a lot of work to edit,” disappointment pangs in his chest at your easy rejection, but he ignores it, “I kinda wanna save some money too, still not sure if I’m staying in the apartment after Jisoo moves.” 
He doesn’t know what compels him to take your shoulders and wheel you in the direction of the food court, much to your protest and whines. “C’mon, explain to me why Ratatouille is the magnum opus—I need to defend why The Incredibles is superior. I’ll treat you to dinner.” 
“What? I can pay for my own food—” 
“And I can’t treat my best friend to a nice meal once in a while?” 
That has you stopping in your tracks, and Jungkook nearly barrels his chest into your head if not for the grippy soles of his Adidas Ultraboosts. He can’t see your face, but his hands note how your muscles cord tightly between the cotton of your blazer. 
He doesn’t understand why you’re so tense. Was it because he called you his best friend? Well, you are? At one point he felt that way, early on in college. The position just stuck with you. And when Jisoo told him you weren’t interested, he was perfectly fine with the platonic relationship. It was nice to have someone to talk media and video games to, someone not as chaotic as Jimin and someone not as deterred as Yoongi. 
Although, maybe as of late he hasn’t been so much of a friend. It’s no one’s fault, he’s been caught up with work and Jisoo’s move, he hasn’t said so much as a “hey how are you” when you’re around. He can’t blame you. 
Suddenly his mind blanks, the mall fading away as he focuses on how small you look as your eyes dart between the parking lot and the food court. Jisoo and Jungkook have been so caught up on each other lately, that he fears you’re starting to separate yourself.
“Um, this place is good,” you tug him by the elbow and lead him to a fast food joint. 
When he picks up both your orders and comes over to your saved table, you’re talking animatedly on the phone. You’re laughing, looking at Jungkook as if he’s the one intruding and you’re muttering a hushed “sorry” as you continue the tail end of the conversation. 
“Yes, Joonie. Go with section two, I know my shit. I’m your Work Wife for a reason, Umji in PR could never compare,” you’re giggling like you’re five years younger, and Jungkook feels stuck in a timelapse. 
He watches you go, throwing around names and terms that he’s so lost on but so desperate to understand. He knows nothing about your life other than the one that’s tied with Jisoo, which is a damn shame. Since when did he inevitably downgrade you from “best friend” to “his girlfriend’s roommate?” 
“I’m sorry,” you turn your phone over and push it to the side, giving Jungkook a smile as well, albeit weaker, “let’s dig in!” 
To his relief the dinner goes as good as it should be. You have your tray practically overflowing at the seams, all on Jungkook’s dime. It has his heart swelling with pride, he hasn’t seen you eat in a long time. There’s fries spilling out from the corners, and two sandwiches because you couldn’t decide between a chicken sandwich and a burger. 
Food gets you amicable, and he doesn’t mind when he does most of the talking. You’re engrossed in his talk, lettuce hanging out of your mouth as you’re rapt with attention as he recalls a story that happened at work recently with Mingyu. You ask questions in all the right places and he sucks up all your attention like a happy pill, and it feels nice to be able to lead a conversation for once. 
“Jeez, I’m getting the burger sweats,” you giggle to yourself, and his smile brightens at your positive change in attitude. Food always helps. 
When you remove your thick high-collar blazer, that’s when he sees it. 
“Seeing someone?” he asks, eyes flickering curiously towards the violet bruises that bloom across your neck. 
“What–oh,” you have the audacity to look embarrassed, hands clutching your neck like a shield, “no, just a hookup.” 
A messy hookup, too. Unless you had a thing for showing off marks, which doesn’t seem to be the case. “Didn’t peg you for someone who hooks up,” he says more to himself than you, but you catch him on his impulse jab. 
Your eyes narrow and your defenses go up, “I’m trying to get over someone,” you snip back, busying your hands by crushing up your greasy sandwich wrappers. 
“Am I allowed to state my opinion?” 
“Since you asked so politely, no.” 
He sighs, “I just don’t think that’s the best way to get over someone,” heck, Jungkook doesn’t even know who exactly you’re trying to get over. He just knows that you’re far too smart and independent to let yourself resort to such matters. 
“It isn’t, but it’s really the best option as of now,” you reply curtly. 
And his gaze saddens as he sees you fold your blazer over your arm, indicating that your time is up. Jungkook is aware the comment he made is out of line, and it weakens him knowing that you don’t even want to pick a fight with him. He can’t even find it in himself to apologize properly. 
He doesn’t know if he’s more sad that you’re pining over someone unattainable or upset at himself for not knowing you’ve been harboring feelings for someone. If you really think hooking up is your only option, you must be really hung about whoever you’re into as of late. 
“If it’s worth anything,” Jungkook adds, wanting to leave on a high note, “fuck that guy. He clearly doesn’t deserve you.” 
A small, secret smile plays on your lips, “Yeah, I like to believe that.” 
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“I’m anxious,” Namjoon’s mantra makes the whole energy in the room wobbly, paired with the fact the two of you are squished between cardboard boxes as Jungkook aimlessly moves things around like a Tetris screen. 
The only time you feel remotely comfortable basking in your home is when Jisoo is gone. Oh-so conveniently is the Big Hit building undergoing maintenance today, so you and Namjoon have decided to work from home in your apartment. Although you thought by now that Jisoo’s boxes would be long gone and tucked away in Jungkook’s place, instead you’re living in an episode of Ed, Edd and Eddy and the cardboard is practically wall-to-wall. You also thought by now that Jungkook would have no reason to show up unannounced anymore, but apparently that’s not the case. 
“I have, anxiety,” Namjoon adjusts his glasses for the nth time this afternoon, brain not fixed enough to focus on the screen of his chrome MacBook, “anxiety, anxiety. I can’t right now. I need my weighted blanket and a pillow.” 
“Namjoon, I can get both of those for you if we just send in this last spread,” you coo gently, as if placating a baby. You make brief eye contact with Jungkook from the other side of the room, his lips quirking in amusement as he stacks a box of clothes by the kitchen. 
“Do you feel my palms? My palms, they’re like a fucking fountain you need to feel them—” your Wusband approaches you like a zombie, leaning over you and tripping over his criss-crossed legs before he topples over you. 
“Blegh, get off of me you sweat giant!” you cry with a good-natured laugh, although the grip of Namjoon’s palms under your shoulders are damp and slimy, “Joon, I can’t get you your blanket if you’re crushing my boobs.” 
Namjoon finally relents, untacking himself to rest his chin on your glass coffee table. “Fine.” 
“Look over the last column and I’ll bring your blanket, okay?” 
Pushing yourself off the ground, you shuffle your way out of the living room through the maze of boxes and into the hallway. It feels like your apartment is less of an apartment and more of a storage space when you’re trapped in-between two lines of boxes, and Jungkook effectively blocking you from entering your room. He was just in the living room but now he’s come from the linen closet, standing between the entrance of your room. 
“Sorry,” he pops his head out from a smaller box, one filled with designer costume jewelry. 
“It’s fine,” you chirp, barely making eye contact as you shuffle over the boxes. 
Your toe drags over the lid of one of the open boxes in an attempt to move diagonally. You nearly crash your face into the hardwood if not for Jungkook’s arm stretching out to catch you. In seconds he manages to catch all your weight in one hand, pulling you to him with your hip pressed against his. Your breath traps itself in your neck. Your subconscious fears that if you speak now, you’ll babble about how attractive it is that he’s able to catch you as easily as grabbing a light sheet of paper. 
“Careful,” his voice rumbles in his throat as he regards you with a wan smile. 
Your “thanks” is barely uttered as you slip into your room, heaving your weighted blanket and a pillow in your arms to let Namjoon borrow. 
The burgundy quilted fabric is hunched over your shoulder, draped around your body so it’s easier for you to carry on your back. You try to eradicate the memory of Jungkook’s arms, lean and strong as he held you to him moments before.
Ugh, you thought messing around with Vernon would stop your silly pining. It seems that it’ll take more than a couple rounds to satiate your curiosity. For such a kind guy, Jungkook seems like a wolf in sheep’s clothing when it comes to the bedroom. 
You can imagine him being so kind in the beginning, coaxing you to wan and bend to his every wish and command. And then when you keen a little too hard at the attention, you bet a switch would flip and he’d grab you—
The blanket flops around your back, and you’re sorely reminded that you’re thirsting over a taken man, yet again.  
Jungkook makes it extremely difficult for him to be hateable. It’s by nature that he’s just so damn likeable. Heck, he’s pretty much packed seventy percent of the things Jisoo should be packing right now. 
Making sure not to trip again, on your feelings and your blanket, you successfully reach a tired Namjoon. You tuck your koala-shaped pillow under your co-editor’s arms, and drape the heavy blanket over him like a cape. He’s giving you a thumbs up and a toothless smile, the previous meltdown overcome as he focuses on finishing the last of today’s work. He’s slipped on some noise-cancelling earphones, presumably filled with generic coffee-house music or rain playlists. 
Wordlessly you go to your nook to prepare some tea. It’s getting late and a warm cup would distract you from the impending deadline. Despite the fact that you and Namjoon are 99% of the way done, his previous freak-out has you on live-wire and you could use a little caffeine. 
Placing three mugs on the counter you call, “Jungkook, tea?” 
“Yes please,” you stiffen when you feel Jungkook magically appear right behind you, his head peering over your shoulder, “with milk and honey.” 
Deciding to give Jungkook the beehive-shaped mug because it’s very on-brand for him, you begin to steep the leaves in your kettle while he spoons the honey. 
“So,” his words are slow as the drip of honey, the amber goo taking its time to descend into his mug as it falls from the dipper. “Is that the guy you’re trying to get over?” 
Jungkook lifts his brows towards Namjoon, who is softcore jamming to his white noise playlist. It’s cute as to how curious Jungkook is about Namjoon. While you try to keep your work life separate, there really isn’t much backstory to your personal life to warrant that kind of divide. 
“Namjoon,” you state aloud, watching Namjoon sing badly to himself, “why, are you gonna beat him up for me?” 
“I can take him,” you can practically hear Jungkook’s chest pop out. 
With a roll of your eyes, you reach to kill the heat off the tea kettle, “No need. He isn’t the guy I’m trying to get over.” 
“Oh, he’s your fuck buddy then?” 
“Shit!” being caught off guard, you grab at the handle of your kettle without a pot holder, burning your fingertips. In seconds Jungkook’s larger hand encases your own, pulling you over to the sink to soak your fingers in cool running water.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Jungkook is chanting like a sinner at church, searching for any sign of pain in your visage, “I shouldn’t have asked while you’re working with a hot stove.” 
You suppress a sigh, relaxing your fingers as Jungkook soothes the burn with his gentle hold, “Shouldn’t have asked in the first place,” you mumble. 
“I know,” he replies, “guess I’m just feeling a little left out. We don’t talk like we used to. I guess I’m getting a little too nosy for my own good, aren’t I?” 
You don’t understand what’s going on with his incessant babbling as of late, but you chalk it up to work stress and Jisoo’s move. Having no answers to his honest reply, you gently untack your red palm from his grip, assuring him that you’re fine. 
Namjoon steps into your kitchenette, being surprisingly careful as he takes your potholder to pour himself a cup of tea. If the tea is oversteeped and bitter he doesn’t say anything, only leans against the counter as he regards you two with slow sips. “You alright?” 
“M’fine,” you reply stubbornly, avoiding Jungkook’s worried stare. 
Namjoon holds out his hand, “Hand.” 
“No—”
“Hand.” 
His deep voice coerces you, and you immediately slap the back of your palm onto Namjoon’s. Your partner brushes his golden hands over the tiny blister that’s forming over your fingertips. “Can’t have my Work Wife outta commission.” 
“Your Work Wife is fine,” you gripe back. 
Your co-worker’s eyes flicker over to Jungkook’s for a brief second, Jungkook regarding him in curiosity as he stares at your connected palms. “I have some aloe in my bag for sunburns,” Namjoon offers helpfully, ignoring the weird glances, “I’ll give it to you in a bit. Also, I’ve overcome my sudden bout of stress and I’m ready to email our progress to Victoria. We’re done for the day.” 
“Awesome, thanks Joonie,” you exhale, relaxing against the sink, “wanna go eat somewhere?” 
“There’s a niche place in Itaewon if you wanna check it out?” Namjoon offers.
Jungkook interjects, “Jisoo ordered pizza if you guys wanna share with us?” 
“Pizza also sounds good—” 
“We don’t wanna interrupt your alone time,” you gracefully cut in, stepping in front of Namjoon despite the fact that he’s easily towering over you. 
Jungkook snorts, “I’ll have enough alone time with her when she moves in, don’t worry. Besides, I ordered three pies because I wanted to try three different flavor combos. I need two additional judges.” 
“Thanks Jungkook but,” you stifle a cry when Namjoon jabs you in the back with his thumb. It’s pressing, digging into the small of your back as if he’s trying to telepathically tell you that you’re being rude, “but… I don’t know if I can eat three slices! Namjoon on the other hand, can probably eat enough to fairly judge.” 
“Great,” Jungkook’s smile is blinding, causing your grin to stiffen as he looks for his phone to shoot Jisoo a quick text that they’re having dinner for four. 
Once Jungkook’s out of earshot, Namjoon tugs you by the sleeve, “The hell was that?” he hisses in your ear, “you look like you’re about to shit and piss your pants at the same time.” 
“I just don’t feel comfortable eating with them,” you cross your arms in defiance. You think back to just a week ago where you and Jisoo reluctantly attempted to eat breakfast together one morning. You provided minimal small talk while Jisoo clinged to her phone, replying to you in non-committal clipped tones. 
“Do I want to know?”
“No.” 
“Do you want me to leave?”
“No!” you retort, “you got me into this mess, you’re gonna stay with me ‘till the end.”
“I don’t know what you want from me, woman,” Namjoon throws his arms out exasperatedly, oolong tea nearly sloshing onto his hand, “just suck it up or I revoke your bragging rights to that snag you got on our spread next Monday.” 
“Not my fault you couldn’t get Kim Taeyeon on the spread,” you smirk. 
“Well I didn’t so happen to stalk the Sephora she frequents for the past two weeks—” 
“I didn’t stalk her I just so happened to need a new Fenty Gloss Bomb every other day—”
“I’m home, Jungkookie!” 
Your face contorts, your playful energy melting to the hardwood as your previous banter with Namjoon evaporates into thin air. Work bags in one hand and three boxes of pizza balancing in the other, Jisoo kicks off her heels somewhere across the door and places the pizza on the dining table. 
Jungkook immediately appears by her side, and you look away and Jisoo plants a heavy kiss on his lips. She cracks open one eye as she notices you and Namjoon hanging by the kitchenette, “Oh,” she mumbles at her audience, “you’re here?” 
Yes, you bimbo. I’m here in my own apartment. 
“I guess you didn’t read my text that they’ll be joining us for dinner,” Jungkook cuts in good-naturedly, “we have way too much pizza anyway. Have a seat, guys.” 
Jungkook navigates the kitchen as easily as your own, and you slump in your chair while Namjoon exchanges pleasantries with Jisoo. She looks impeccable, hair in a tight chignon and a tight navy dress as she converses with your co-editor. 
“I’m starving,” Jungkook announces, making sure to place a slice on Jisoo’s plate. He shuffles through the other boxes, making brief eye contact with you when he decides to put a slice on yours as well, “you like these toppings, right?” 
You regard the greasy, hearty piece of cheese and bread with a curt nod. You feel Jisoo’s eyes laser on your skin, “Yeah, thanks Kook.” 
Namjoon, Jisoo and Jungkook mostly stir up the conversation, you opting to eat as slow as possible to avoid any conversation. It’s easy to blend back and let them take over, as Jisoo loves to talk about her fashion firm and Namjoon is a great listener. 
Jungkook and Namjoon make it a point to direct the conversation to you from time to time, and you let the ball leave your court as soon as it lands. You prefer to keep your responses short and simple, especially when Jisoo is so eager to talk about the new silk drapes she’s installing for Jungkook’s windows.
Your phone buzzes in your lap, and you discreetly look under the table to read the incoming text message. 
vernie bernie: would u like to do the devil’s dance tonight
vernie bernie: or a tickle to my pickle? 
vernie bernie: beatin ya bean? 
You: ohmyGOD 
vernie bernie: or y’know, u could just come ovr and chill. Hobi made some bomb tres leches
You: call. Ill come after dinner
“Are you okay, y/n?” your head bounces up to meet Jungkook’s gaze, “you’ve barely eaten and you haven’t talked much.” 
“Oh you know, she’s just stressed about the upcoming spread,” Namjoon steps in for you, and you send him a discrete, but grateful smile. He’s always impeccable at reading the room, “she’s just nervous about her interview with Kim Taeyeon, but I think you did her interview justice.” 
“No way, the singer Kim Taeyeon?” Jungkook gushes, regarding you with stars in his eyes, “your interviews are always so great, y/n. You ask really good questions. Like that one spread about  Lee Yonghwa’s art gallery? Really cool.” 
You notice the way Jisoo presses her lips together, a thin line as if she’s trying to seal away words that she’ll regret saying. She’s jealous, and you can’t help the blush of pride that fills your veins as you raise a secret brow at her. 
“Right, you got nothing to worry about,” Namjoon squeezes your shoulder encouragingly, as if you’d get his double-meaning. 
“Thanks,” you reply, pushing your plate away and standing up, “I’m actually gonna go head to Vernon’s for a bit, though. He wants to double check his work before we email Victoria.” 
It’s a bald-faced lie, Namjoon sent the files to Victoria right before dinner, but he isn’t going to argue. 
“Okay,” Namjoon thanks Jungkook and Jisoo for the meal, stacking his plate atop yours, “I’ll walk out with you.” 
“It’s only been twenty minutes, though,” you see the slight panic in Jungkook’s gaze as he watches you quickly clean up for you and Namjoon. You can’t quite pin why he’s so concerned, after all he has been acting strange as of late. 
“Yeah, I’m full,” you reply curtly, licking your lips and avoiding his gaze. You already know what he wants to say, that he’s been in your apartment all day and all he’s seen you eat is stale chips and tea, “but we can do this again.” But hopefully not. 
“If you’re coming home late again,” it’s the first time Jisoo has spoken to you directly. You tilt your head to her slowly, watching the plastic smile carefully carved onto her expression. You see the contrived care and concern between her brows, “please try to be quieter next time, the last time you came home late you woke Jungkookie up.” 
Snapping your gaze to Jungkook you plaster on a thick smile, “Sorry Jungkook—” 
“What? No, it’s fine!” he furrows his brows in confusion, finally able to detect the strange tension between the two housemates, “I barely heard you—” 
“Maybe I’ll just stay the night at Vernon’s,” your eyes trail over to the pajama set you immediately switched into when you got home today, “wouldn’t want to disturb you two.” 
“Good,” Jisoo’s tone is saccharine and clipped as she tacks on a, “have fun.” 
It’s laudable, how much Jisoo wants to make a fool out of you but you won’t have it. You revel in the perplexed expression as Jungkook’s gaze darts back and forth between the two of you, wanting to butt in but unsure of how to approach it. Not giving him the time to, you bid the couple a goodnight and make a fast getaway. Heck, you don’t even take your work stuff with you. 
Once you’re out the door, Namjoon wordlessly gives you a hug. You sigh gratefully into his embrace. 
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The next time Jungkook sees you, he reads the room before anything. You and Jisoo’s apartment is scarily empty, almost clinical. He’s tried texting you a few times after his failed-not-failed attempt at catching up at the mall and his awkward conversation concerning Namjoon, but you always reply back with vague replies and an unpromised promise of meeting up sometime soon. 
It dulls him to think that you’ve given up on him as a friend. But can you blame him? He needs to keep an appropriate distance for Jisoo, after all, she doesn’t like it when he gets too close to other women unless it’s strictly professional. Usually Jisoo’s jealousy inevitably works itself out and Jungkook doesn’t pose any problems because he has very few girl friends, but for some reason your friendship with him specifically gets Jisoo stiff in the face. Is it because you and Jisoo are so close? Possibly. 
But it doesn’t mean you can’t join the same Valorant server with him at 2AM and accidentally bomb each other, or argue over the magnum opus of each film company. Is that not enough? 
Jisoo’s working overtime, and Jungkook suggested last night that he move the boxes to the front of the door for easy pick-up when the moving truck arrives. Jisoo promises to buy Thai food in return, and with a kiss emoji she leaves him to audit fabric budgets. 
As he glides down to Jisoo’s room he notes that the pictures along the wall have disappeared, and there’s double the amount of boxes in the hallway. It seems that you’re moving out too. To where, he doesn’t know but he hopes it isn’t too far. 
He chides Jisoo remotely when he sees that her room is completely intact, and he makes moves to pack up her things. 
That’s when he finds his letter. Not a love letter to Jisoo, but a love letter to you. Deep in the recesses of Jisoo’s junk drawer, is a faded lavender envelope with a pressed cream colored baby’s breath taped up in plastic. The glue is yellow and old, clearly served its purpose due to the fact that the letter is already opened and the contents rumpled. 
Hey Pretty Girl–
He immediately stuffs the letter back in its holder, stricken at his messy handwriting from two years ago. It feels like he found a time capsule, another version of Jungkook confessing to you. He used to call you Pretty Girl, not enough for you to catch on to his feelings, but enough for you to understand that he did find you attractive. It was early on in your friendship. 
When you first asked him to be study partners for some silly class that had nothing to do with each other’s majors, he gaped like a guppy and pointed to himself. That day he went to class in last night’s clothes and a nest of fluffy strands. “Me?” he felt like absolute trash, and you were probably desperate due to the fact you two were the only seniors in this class, “but you’re a pretty girl… and I’m pretty dumb when it comes to this subject.” 
But instead you scoffed and pulled him from his slumped figure, dragging him to the library, with a wink and a “you’re pretty, too.” Those words have burned in his brain since then, as he wasn’t used to getting such off-handed compliments, especially from intelligent girls that wanted more than one night. 
For whatever reason you continued seeing his dumb self, even after the semester ended and together registered for one more class for spring. 
Whenever you’d go out for ice cream you wouldn’t hesitate to stuff your face and add for extra Oreos and fries, you’d assure Jungkook you’re not normally this much of a slob. 
Jungkook would just smile and offer you a napkin and say, “You’re still a pretty girl.” 
He fell for you gracefully. There was no regret, no walk of shame, no cliché late night party where you or him could’ve instigated it into the physical. It was all by feel. 
However the two of you took your time with your relationship, languidly enjoying the hushed conversations in the library at 2AM, the late night McFlurry runs, the integration of each other’s friends like it was natural. Ergo the lavender love letter. It was a gentle declaration, one he felt pretty confident in. 
So color him stupid when you passed him in class with a happy wave, Jungkook dumbfounded at how well you handled his confession. You weren’t oblivious, you just never read it. 
But now he knows the declaration was for whatever reason, lost in transit. “I should’ve known,” he whispers in the air, the letter crumpling in his grip. Composing himself, he pinches his brows.  
There’s an electronic buzz and a sharp slam of the front door. Judging by the time, you’re home. 
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You flop onto your mattress, folding an arm over your head to stop the sun from seeping to your eyes. Vernon’s exhausted you, and you barely got away before he could have any say in it. You need a little space, and some time to think. 
Just as you close the door to your bedroom, it swings open. 
You gape as Jungkook thrusts himself into your bedroom like a deer with horns, looking pale. You follow his gaze, darkened eyes that linger a little too long on your neck again, and you narrow your eyes at him to avert. He looks a little red in the cheeks despite his pallidness, looking like he just got out of bed with messy wavy locks and his signature sweats. Is Jungkook packing for Jisoo again? 
Acutely aware that you smell like sweat and sex, you clutch the blankets closer to your body. “Uh, rude.” 
He looks uncharastically frantic, waving a letter in his hand, “Did you ever read this?” 
“Read what?” you ask, hands reaching out for the envelope. 
“My confession letter,” he blurts, having no shame now that all the gears are running through his head. “I wrote you a letter asking you out, because you said you wanted to collect notes like in Letters to Juliet. But I just found it in Jisoo’s drawer, why would it be there?” 
And all the pent up frustration that never seemed to escape under Vernon’s sheets, the feelings that never seem to subside, all bubble back to the surface. Now that Jungkook knows, there’s no hiding. 
You’re in shock, hands reaching for the letter despite the burn that seeps through your fingertips. Jungkook’s shoulders slump when you do indeed look like it’s your first time seeing this, as if a missing puzzle piece in your timeline has finally been revealed.
“I, I didn’t think you’d write me a letter,” you take the lavender envelope, clutching the letter by your chest like it’s something precious, “that’s so sweet,” you say to yourself.  
It dawns on him, “Wait, you knew about this? I knew something weird was going on.” 
“Only recently,” you frown. 
“And you didn’t think to tell me?” he nearly shouts, causing you to flinch, “no wonder why you were being so weird all this time. How could you let me live the rest of my life knowing this? That my relationship is built on a lie? ” 
“I don’t know,” you suddenly feel very small in your mattress as Jungkook rounds up on you, pulling your desk chair closer to your bed, “because you love Jisoo, of course.” 
“Well obviously that’s not possible,” and while yes a two-year realtionship ending like this is going to hit him hard tonight, he’s focused on you and the fact that you failed to tell him, “somehow I’d find out. Why wait for me to find out on my own?” 
“Because I wanted to protect you!” 
“Protect me,” he scoffs, crossing his arms and sneering at you. It causes you to tense up, feeling the telltale signs of tears bubbling to the surface, “you don’t even want to be friends anymore, y/n. I’ve tried to catch up to you so many times, but you keep leaving me hanging. I know I’ve been a pretty bad friend and I get it if you just feel awkward that I liked you, then that’s a shitty reason.” 
“Have you ever considered that it’s too late to tell you?” you shoot back, sitting up straight, “yes, I admit I should’ve told you earlier and I’m sorry, but it was a lot for me to process to y’know? Jisoo and I haven’t talked properly in weeks!” 
“Oh, so you’ve stopped trying to be friends with Jisoo too, huh? Just like you’re trying to stop being friends with me.” 
“No,” you pinch your brows, “she stopped being friends with me! She doesn’t care about me because she has you,” conflict burns in Jungkook’s gaze, and you only serve to fuel the fire, “she’s tried so hard to not involve me in your relationship.” 
“Just tell me why you’ve really kept this secret instead of saying you want to protect me like a baby—” 
“It’s because I’m in love with you, idiot!” 
You blink and back up against the wall of your bedroom, as if you can’t believe that the words came out of your mouth. 
It’s quiet again. The sour look evaporates from Jungkook’s face as he watches you suppress your sobs on your mattress. The room seems devoid, sucked out of its color as you’ve cleaned up most of your things, the only thing left being some plain grey sheets and a pillow. 
Jungkook’s mind is absolutely reeling, playing back memories from a different point of view. 
“When Jisoo told me she sabotaged our relationship so she could date you, I was so upset and didn’t know what to think,” you manage to place the lavender note on your wooden desk, making sure no tears could mar it. “And I thought I could move on and eventually stay friends with the both of you, but the next day Jisoo put all her attention on you and completely ignored me or any attempt to salvage our friendship. She only told me to forgive herself,” you’re hugging yourself, wrapping the blankets around you like a weak embrace, “so I thought if I cut myself out of the picture and forced myself to move on like I should’ve, everything would’ve been okay.” 
“So, you would’ve rather kept all this pain to yourself?” 
“Yeah,” you give him a teary smile, “because I wanted you to be happy.” 
And with an equally sad smile he murmurs, “But I’m not happy.” 
 Your face falls, and you really look at Jungkook. He’s exhausted as well, slumped in his chair. Has he been trying to grapple along the threads of his relationships, while you’ve been trying to loosen them? 
“What a waste of two years,” he slumps in your chair, letting the pieces click into place, “a relationship built on fake love. I was really trying, y’know. I thought I was going crazy.” 
The three of you have unknowingly been playing a futile game of Cat’s Cradle, a game that no one wins. 
Jungkook looks wistfully out the window, noting the pleasant day that fails to present itself in your tiny room. It feels simultaneously satisfying and bitter when it falls into place, your thoughts finally fitting together for the first time in months. “We could’ve loved each other. For real,” he says, and you silently agree. 
You’re still crying, shaking like a leaf in autumn. Jungkook’s arms hover awkwardly over yours, his warmth palpable despite the fact that he hasn’t touched you yet. With a timid smile you allow consent, and you melt like putty in his arms. 
“Kookie, ‘m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” you murmur into his shoulder, not caring if it hurts when you press your chin into his skin. “I’m sorry you had to find out this way.” 
It’s been so long to have him close like this, the friend you’ve always wanted but never needed. Since college you’ve always imagined a life without him doing just fine, but that doesn’t mean you want to live without him, roommate’s boyfriend or not. 
“I’m sorry too,” he sighs back, “this sucks right now, but we’ll be alright.” 
The two of you sit in your room until it turns dark and the sky muddles into shades of twilight and egg yolk orange. There’s lulls in the conversation, the two of you filling in the gaps and making sense of the mumbo-jumbo that’s been going on in your consciousness up until this point. Your insantities turn sane, and by the time Jisoo’s making her way back inside with the smell of pad thai, Jungkook is ready. With a squeeze to each other and a press of your lips because you don’t know what to say, you tuck yourself in and pretend to fall asleep. 
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“Messy, messy, messy,” Vernon sing-songs, knocking his heels against the wall. 
The both of you are sitting upside-down, butts attached to the wall connecting to his mattress and your feet hanging in the air. Your mint floral organza socks pad against his Pink Floyd poster, while his yellow tube socks are heeling against some old Polaroids from college. There’s no prospect of sex today, not when shit just hit the fan. 
Today you and Vernon are just two old friends and very close co-workers. 
“Tell me about it,” you bemoan, frowning at the beige wall, “this whole week’s just been a whole mess. It’s like, warm tuna salad.”
“Gross,” Vernon grimaces at the apt comparison, “so what happens now?” 
You sit up on your elbows, looking down at Vernon’s peaceful expression, “What do you mean?” 
“Like, are you gonna get together with him?”
You snort, flopping back down on his bed. The blankets fluff around you and you inhale the pine scented sheets. “After all that? No.” 
“But you still love him?” 
It must sound dumb to still love him after all this time. You wouldn’t be surprised if Vernon thought you’re silly to still hold a place in your heart for someone who has fifteen million things on their plate now. After all the physicality and the space Vernon gave you in his home, your feelings haven’t wavered. 
Your companion doesn’t bother waiting for your answer, hearing your answer somewhere in the air as he gets up and throws on his denim jacket. Rolling over your stomach you ask, “Where are you going?” 
“Some friends down in printing want to meet up for drinks,” Vernon messes up his hair, making the waves part in that little coiff that makes his jawline look sharp. “I heard Yerin really wanted me to come, so.” 
You can’t help the little middle school coo that comes from your lips, causing Vernon to giggle and throw a pillow at you. “Yerin’s cute!” you declare, remembering the petite girl in overalls who’s all about pops of yellow and violet, “you're into her?” 
“Nah,” Vernon holds up two hats in his hands, gesturing for you to pick one. “Just figured it was a push in the right direction.” 
Crawling out of his bed you stumble in your oversized t-shirt, tucking a finger under your chin as you decide between the emerald bucket hat and the red Ralph Lauren baseball cap. You pull out both hats from his hands and set it down on his vanity, opting to smooth out the flyaways and ringing your fingers through his soft curls. “And what direction would my free-flowing friend be going today?” you ask aloud, “you look better with your hair out,” you declare firmly, “makes you look like a fluffy CEO.” 
He laughs at your silly comparison, and he gently moves your hand away from his hair when you linger a little too close to him. His gaze is solemn as he regards you with a gentle smile, “Keep your distance, I’m tryna get over someone,” he says simply, and your arm falls limp at your sides. 
Your heart thuds in a different direction, your mouth parting but no words coming to the surface. When was the last time you asked about Vernon’s needs, wondered if he was doing alright, making sure you two were on the same page—
“You’re spiraling,” he reads you like a playbook, smoothing down your hair to press a kiss to the crown. Suddenly you feel guilty for not having sparks in your belly, shaming your conscience for not even considering his sacrifices in your self-absorption these past few weeks. “Like I said, I wanted to help you. Stop looking like a kicked puppy, it’s okay to be selfish.” 
With transparent tears the two of you pack up and head to your next destination. Hands ghosting between each other you make your way to the exit of Vernon’s apartment, him to meet up with his friends while you have to unpack your new apartment. With a hug you tell each other you’ll see them on Monday, and as easy as that you go your separate ways.
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Hey Pretty Girl—
I kinda wanted to tell you this in person but I know how much you liked Mamma Mia and all those other movies that have grand gestures in writing so I thought hey, might as well shoot my shot on paper. 
Not gonna tell you all the details, because you deserve to hear it in-person. But mayhaps this letter has something to do with how much I like studying with you, watching movies with you, doing absolutely nothing with you and all of that in-between. 
There’s a gift card to our spot attached. Meet me at McDonalds @12 tonight, so I know it’s real 😎
Hopefully yours, Jungkook
P.S. if you haven’t noticed already, I sprayed a little cologne and stole Taehyung’s fancy paper from Muji. That’s how serious I am about you. 
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“Joon, we live in a bonsai garden. We’re like giants in a forest.” 
“Can you—can you stop spitting at them? Let them breathe, dammit.” 
“Not my fault they’re so tiny! I literally have to zoom 200% just to get a good look at ‘em.” 
The two of you are huddled in what used to be Namjoon’s balcony, now a sunroom for his succulents and bonsais. Your heart feels pink and swollen with affection as you regard Namjoon with interest, absorbing every bit of information you can as he teaches you how to care for his plants. After all, you’re co-parenting now. 
Having your Wusband co-sign as your roommate for the next year is probably the best decision you have made this year. Everyday is like a breath of fresh air. With Seokjin gone for the year to tour his restaurant franchises, his room is yours for the taking. The two of you are easy going roommates, filling the apartment with color and vigour whether it be in the form of baking sweets or watching Netflix documentaries. 
The only drama you ever have is when you two are having a meltdown over the same work-related issue, as if you two somehow share the same brain cell. It’s significantly less stressful, no need for unnecessary anger when  you have someone as mediating as Namjoon.
After today’s plant lesson, you two go back to the living room to finish up your work for the evening. Another perk of living together is that you can go home at normal work times and continue where you left off with the comfort of your couch and eating a whole pizza pie with no shame. 
Namjoon’s phone pings with a new email from corporate. “We got the new concept for next month’s spread,” he gestures to you with a grandiose wave of his arm, “drumroll please.” 
He pulls up the newsletter from corporate with a flick of his thumb. Your company put out every month’s concept out in an Evite, like every month was a themed party. A stressful, month long work party. In seconds, the page loaded and you’re met with next month’s title bathed in electronic glitter. 
The Most Beautiful Moment in Life: Class of Youth
The two of you say silent, absorbing the concept like a cookie to milk. It’s a personal spread this month, a real treat for the team to show off their normal non-professional life. A spread that reveals the masters behind the ink and text. Last year’s personal spread was about the staff’s vacation destinations, but this year’s is much more intimate. You can imagine all the ideas that will be thrown around on Monday’s meeting: pinning down shared ideas like Throwback Thursdays, late night munchie runs, drunk stories, and all the crazy college nostalgia that you’ve been trying to avoid as of late. 
But now it’s presented to you in a gold chalice, and while you’re sick of the past you think it’s about time to face it. You’re excited to tackle the dark monster you’ve suppressed since Jungkook and Jisoo’s breakup. 
“Did I ever tell you I was president of my university’s Mock Trial?” 
“No, I always thought you’d be president of the Comparative Literature Club or whatever. But Mock Trial is equally as nerdy.” 
“I’ll have you know Mock Trial got me tons of action,” he winked, “made me very convincing.” 
“Gross,” you sneer, “so that’s what your spread will be about? How the co-editor of the Arts & Entertainment section managed to bag with his skills from Mock Trial?” 
“Nah, I went on a penniless journey with Jin during spring break. Six days around Malta.” 
“That does sound so you,” you sigh, fingers slipping between the cracked screen as you mull over the overly happy Evite, “sounds like a cool story.” 
“I know that look,” Namjoon quips, snatching his phone under his nose, “don’t overthink your spread just yet, it’s still the weekend. Now to more important things, what do you want from Taco Bell?”
And because you can’t refuse the combined efforts of nachos and Namjoon’s dimples, you relent for the night and tack the unmade idea to the next workday. 
Unfortunately the next workday is just as disheartening. Today’s work meeting is the antithesis of icing on the cake. While your college life isn’t anything remarkable, you didn’t think it was a painfully dull time. With every passing moment and every excited co-worker throwing memories back and forth like ping pong balls, the more you felt inferior by competing with their amazing memories. 
“Who can even afford Aruba at twenty-one,” you mutter under your breath, stalking back to your cubicle. 
Filling up a whole spread is daunting to you, the thought of Victoria popping her head in your cubicle to ask what you’ve got for the day is practically eating you from the inside out. Maybe your college life was in actuality, super boring? You have no crazy drug trips to tell, any vacations that gave you a life-changing perspective, or an epic love story. 
“What’cha got there, partner?” 
The third musketeer of your editing team’s caramel eyes peer into your cubicle, causing you to jump in your chair. Vernon wheels around, chair and all to push you into your already cramped space. His gold button up gleams in the sunlight, effectively blinding you. 
“If by something you mean nothing, then yeah I got nothing,” you frown, spinning around your chair. “What are you writing about?” 
A fond smile melts onto your friend’s face, and you can’t help returning a smile that mirrors his own. You two have fallen back into a good place, as far as you know. He’s still easy, simple, sweet Vernon. When you dropped some boxes off in coloring, you heard that Vernon and Yerin have recently started seeing each other. 
“Thought of the idea as soon as the Evite came out. It’s more of a photo spread, but I’m gonna write about my study abroad in NYU,” Vernon ticks a pencil on his forehead, “a self-identity piece talking about how I felt like, not-white around my family n’stuff. And then felt not-Asian at the same time, s’complicated but I think I can make it work.” 
“Deep,” you pat his shoulder caringly, knowing that Big Hit is a good outlet for these kinds of subjects, “alright City Slicker, since you’re so full of ideas then tell me what to write about.” 
Vernon sits up straight, regarding you with narrowed eyes, “Aren’t you gonna write about your little love triangle with Jisoo and Jungkook?” and it seems like he’s already storyboarded the idea in his head, gesturing to the air as if he’s writing down a timeline, “I can see the headline now: How to Steal a Heart,” he’s grinning, nodding fervently as you cross your arms in distaste. 
“Vern, are you suggesting that I exploit Jisoo and Jungkook’s personal lives?” while the journalism business didn’t pride itself on sincerity, it did feel wrong to drag in your personal life to that extent. 
“Babe, you don’t understand. You have the perfect slice of life story. Everyone’s writing about expensive vacations and that one time they got cross-faded and ended up in Busan,” he squeezes your hand, “but your story, it’s relatable. It’s romantic. It’s angsty. It has closure. No one’s gonna be able to relate to an impulse spending on daddy’s money to Aruba. But first loves? Unrequited romance and all that ish? Everyone can speak to that. And you’re a beautiful writer, they’ll eat up that story like honey.” 
“I don’t know, it still doesn’t feel right.” 
“Change up the names, twist the story,” he offers easily, knowing you’d put up a fight, “besides, it’s not like you’re planning on talking to Jisoo or Jungkook ever again,” you open your mouth to retort, but Vernon’s phone beeps to the Star Wars theme song and he’s flying out of his chair. “Shoot, gotta go help Joon upstairs. Just think about it, okay? Good luck!” and he’s kicking his chair out with a brown loafer, leaving you with breathing room in your cubicle. 
Five seconds later Vernon is jogging back, pointing a finger at you, “And if you do choose to write it, you have to add that Jisoo copped your McDonalds gift card. Like, who does that shit? Couldn’t she have just given it to you and say it was from her and not Jungkook? Seriously fucked up.” 
For the next ten or so minutes you mull. Out of all the memorable college events you’ve participated in, the largest one by far is your (now defunct and debatable) friendship with Jisoo, and your (un)requited love for Jungkook. Reluctantly, you must admit Vernon has a sharp idea, busting in like a hero and offering you the most writable piece on a silver platter. 
It doesn’t feel morally right just to start writing, because ultimately you can’t feel comfortable until you get the consent of Jungkook. While you don’t want to touch Jisoo with a ten-meter pole, you do want to start talking to Jungkook again now that the waters have calmed.
Your life has moved gracefully up until this point, and you’d like to start being friends with him again. Decision made, you pull out your phone and make an important call.
“Hey Yoongi,” you say nervously. Min Yoongi is Kim Namjoon’s equivalent, Jungkook’s Wusband and former upperclassmen in college. 
Said man hums noncommittally on the other line, “Whaddya want, it’s been awhile.” 
You stifle a giggle at his apathetic attitude, knowing he’s someone who wastes no time in getting straight to the point. “I just wanna make sure Jungkook’s address is still the same? I know it’s been a couple months, but I need to send him something and I wanna make sure it gets to him ASAP because—”
“Because last time something was sent, your crazy roommate intervened and Jungkook ended up in a two-year half-toxic relationship? Yeah, let’s make sure that doesn’t happen again.”
“Yoongi,” you say slowly, “where are you?” 
“Working in the studio,” he tuts, “Jungkook says hi, by the way.” 
Typical, cat’s out of the bag. With a roll of our eyes you reply, “Thanks for outing me, Yoongi. Talk to you later.” 
“And y/n? Jungkook says he’s waiting.” 
With a stupid smile slapped onto your face, you hang up the phone and pull out your stationary kit from under your desk. You pluck out a vermillion red envelope, a color so bold and begging to be seen, you know it can’t possibly get lost in transit. Feeling a little bit like a high schooler as you pull out a glitter jelly pen, you get to writing. 
Hey Pretty Boy...
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Jungkook and Jisoo are no longer together, evidently. 
Their social media runs in different directions, with Jisoo sporting absolute elegance in her work at her family-owned boutique. Her posts are full of shiny outfits and soulless gazes, betraying any pinch of emotion she may have felt over these past few months. Her profile is wiped of any personal posts, all traces of you and Jungkook evaporated from her page. You must admit that she looks good, like a real fashion mogul, but only at the surface level. 
Conversely, Jungkook is thriving. It’s evident. Normally he isn’t the type of guy to post so frequently, his habits being often sporadic and limited to sweaty gym stories. But whenever you scroll, it’s pictures of him smiling. Big bunny teeth broken into a genuine, full-bellied laugh. Cute selfies of him and his co-workers. You notice two familiar co-workers in those posts, Irene and Seulgi, two beautiful women Jisoo always felt intimidated by whenever she ranted to you. You conclude positively that Jungkook doesn’t feel tethered and can hang out with all the friends he wants, female and male alike. Jungkook looks free, and you’re happy for him. 
It’s another Instagram-worthy moment tonight at McDonalds, where you and Jungkook proposed to meet each other at 12AM. 
This time, the letter makes it to its desired destination. You make sure of that because this time you hand-deliver it, slipping under his apartment door knowing he lives alone and no one would be able to access it except him. 
You’re parked in an obscure corner, but you can see that Jungkook is currently having a great time with his co-workers for an after work meal. Yoongi is unbothered on his phone, while Jimin and Seulgi are taking turns throwing fries into each other’s mouth. Jungkook is squished between them, scrunching his nose cutely as he tries not to get in the fray of their fry-war. 
Your phone pings, and you laugh at what pops up on the screen.
Yoongi: come inside, u loser. 
You: can’t ur friend group makes me nervous stop being so dang cute
You: dw i’ll wait, it’s only 11:50
Instead of replying, Yoongi puts his phone down and resumes eating. In turn you pick a playlist, deciding that “summer time high mix✨✨✨” is a theme you need to subscribe to for the rest of the weekend. 
Busying yourself by sending some texts to Namjoon and checking some emails, you relax in your seat as you let your brain turn to sludge for the weekend. You’re tired, eyes glazing over as you watch Yoongi elbow Jungkook harshly, forcing him to look out the foggy window. 
Jungkook’s eyes light up like it’s Christmas Eve, but instead of Christmas lights it's your car’s lowlights. The graphic designer  pays no mind to his friends as they wish him goodbye and goodluck, throwing on his jacket with a wave. 
The night air whizzes by, Jungkook’s floppy black strands bouncing with each step as he bounds to your car. He throws your door open, bringing in the cold air as he regards you as easily as an old friend would. 
“Hi,” he chirps, placing his tattooed palms by the air vent, “c’mon, let’s order.” 
“You know, you could’ve ordered inside and brought it in here.” 
“Yeah but then it would take longer to get to you,” the cheeky grin that Jungkook throws at you is unmistakable, “c’mon, get out the car and let’s switch.” 
“Huh?” 
“You look tired, you didn’t come back from the office again, did you?” 
“I did tonight,” you say, “I just really wanted to get the soft copy of the article done and—” 
“Out, out!” Jungkook clicks your seatbelt off and he’s coming out of the passenger side, opening your car and pulling you out by the hand, “c’mon, I’ll drive.” 
You shake your head, hiding your smile in your hand as you let Jungkook do what he wants. Normally you’d be insulted that anyone suggests they should drive your car but Jungkook would always drive you around, saying he loved long rides. Above all, if you could trust anyone to drive your car, Jungkook is at the top of the list. 
Buckling in, you bite the inside of your cheek as Jungkook easily pulls out of the parking spot one-handed. His jacket is pulled up to his elbows, exposing his veins as he expertly whirls the wheel in the direction of the drive-thru. Since college he’s always looked very attractive driving.  
Doesn’t mean you have to act like you’re still in college. You tamp those feelings down, knowing that your article probably has you feeling stuck in time. 
“—coming along?” 
“Wha?” 
“I said, how’s the spread coming along?” 
“It’s pretty much done, I think. I’ll send you the hard copy when it’s ready,” you tap your fingers against the dashboard, “but are you sure you’re okay with me writing it? I know I’m using a pseudonym and everything for you two but I still feel weird—” 
“It’s fine, I think it’s a good thing,” and you still squirm in your seat when he flashes you a genuine smile, “I mean, it kinda is a funny story and I think it’s good for both of us. Like closure, y’know? Moving on and—hi, can I get two Oreo McFlurrys and a large fry? Thanks!” he pulls out his wallet to scan the total on the e-reader.  “I mean, didn’t it feel good writing it?”
“Yeah,” you replied honestly, relaxing in your seat, “like, college was fun and all, but when Jisoo kinda ruined all that… after awhile I didn’t think it was ruined after all, y’know? I still made amazing friends and ended up where I wanted to be. I want to show the readers that shit happens, and that’s okay. And if things are really meant to be, they’re meant to be.” 
The summer playlist hums in the background as Jungkook pulls up to the pick-up window. He thanks the worker and hands you the tray, and you make quick work to put the fries in the first cup holder for optimal sharing. He doesn’t park at McDonalds, but instead smoothly pulls out of the restaurant into the direction of his apartment. It isn’t a particularly long drive, but you figure it would be easier for Jungkook to go home first if you’re already parked at his complex. 
“What do you mean by that?” Jungkook parks in the driveway of his apartment, taking his McFlurry from your hands. 
“Mean by what?” 
“If things are really meant to be, they’re meant to be.” 
“Well, we’re here now, right?” 
Jungkook pops his spoon in, swallowing vanilla and a silly smile through his coral pink lips, “We’re here now,” he repeats. 
The night air is cool and your conversation is warm. You promise Jungkook that you’ll send him the final copy of your spread as soon as it’s done, and you two eagerly deviate away from the past and focus on the present. 
You can’t help the eagerness that flows between you, as if you’ve never spent time apart like this and it’s only now that you’re reuniting. It must be absence that makes the heart grow fonder, because you swell with affection and you find Jungkook’s presence sweeter than any kind of ice cream. 
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Are you dating now? Maybe. You and Jungkook are going on dates, everything without the title. McFlurry runs, marathons of HGTV’s Design on a Dime, having lunch at each other’s respective buildings with the Wusbands. Whether these dates are exclusive or not is unknown, but you figure the question will present yourself one way or another. 
You’re in a good place right now, potential relationship or not. After all, your priorities are simultaneously positive and in order: family, work, friends, and any potential romantic trysts are at the very bottom. You could kiss the cover of this month’s issue (and trust, you have kissed your own copy multiple times) if it is not for the fact that this specific issue is for Jungkook. 
So, romantic trysts and friends have a tendency to flip-flop on your priority list, but only because it’s Jungkook. 
Unsurprisingly, there’s no guilt knowing that you’re dating your former best friend's ex-boyfriend. 
After a much deserved early work day, Namjoon and the crew arrange a hearty happy-hour filled with good food and enough relaxation to last the weekend. With your combined successes, your team felt like they made the best issue yet. At the heart of it, The Most Beautiful Moment in Life: Class of Youth became a reckoning of each other’s young life. Despite the love and the growth that occurred from your college years up until this point, you’re glad to close that chapter and move forward. 
You did not tell Jungkook when the issue would come out, so you think it’ll be a fun surprise for him when he sees it magically show up at his apartment. Bending down you move to slip the issue under his door, one hand pushing it under while one hand braces against the frame to steady your balance. 
Just as the shiny cover glides under the door it swings open, and you fall flat on Jungkook’s feet. 
Being the little shit he is, he simply giggles at the blunder, looking at you with excited eyes. “I’ve been waiting for you,” he says. 
“Creepy as hell, Jeon,” you mutter under your breath, brushing the dirt off your aqua pencil skirt. Looking at him from your spot on the floor and his large height, you grimace. “You look like a middle-aged serial killer looking outside your peephole.” 
“Now, we know that’s not true.” he finally offers his hand, easily pulling you up to your feet. You follow him into his kitchen, where he’s cutting up fresh fruit. He throws your issue on the counter, gentle enough so it doesn’t slide off the granite. He gestures to himself with both hands, “me, a dashingly handsome late twenty-something in Nike sweats who can bench-press two of you? Totally not a middle-aged serial killer.” 
“It’s in the eyes,” you chastise, “you look crazy.” 
“Maybe I’m just crazy excited to see you,” he says with a cheeky grin. 
You try your best not to choke on your spit at the cheeseball comment, throwing a blackberry in your mouth. Savoring the burst of tart flavor that fills your mouth, you wait for Jungkook to plate the fruit before meeting him on the couch. He’s holding a prettily arranged plate of berries, bananas, and mango with a huge dollop of whipped cream in the middle. In his other hand is Big Hit’s magazine. 
Throwing your blazer on the couch’s arm you don’t hesitate to cuddle up next to him, eagerly waiting for him to read your spread. 
The cover gazes back at the two of you like a reflection. The entirety of the staff is posed on the cover, made to look like a class photo. Some of you are holding balloons in your respective school colors, many of you grouping up with whoever happened to go to college together. You and Vernon are wearing matching university sweaters with silly grins on your faces. In the middle of the issue is the editor-in-chief, Victoria Song holding a placard that reads: Class of Youth. 
Jungkook spares you a glance from the corner of his eye, your head naturally tucked into his shoulder. With an exaggerated sigh, he fiddles through the glossy pages, “Hmm, which one should I read first?” 
“Of course you’ll read mine first,” you pout. 
“Ah, Namjoon’s looks really fun. Or Vernon’s? New York looks pretty cool,” he flips to a random page, “wait, Yerin’s spread is a Korean cookbook! I definitely want to make some tuna rice...”  
“Jungkook,” you whine, “read mine.” 
“I don’t know,” he taps his finger on his lip, “I mean, I pretty much know your spread because I’m already in it. It would be kind of redundant to read it.” 
“Kook, you’re being mean,” you glower, rubbing your cheek against his soft sweater. He’s just so damn comfy. 
“I’m kidding,” he tugs at your cheek, “where’s the table of contents, first page?”
“I’m on page eighty-three.” 
You speed up the process like an impatient child, leaning over to brush the pages to the desired spread. You even dog-earred it, a habit that drives Jungkook crazy as he immediately fiddles to iron out the crease. 
“Are you gonna read it to me too, mom?” he teases. 
“Okay fine! I’ll be quiet, but don’t take too long.” 
“Yes ma’am.” 
Eyes fluttering, you let Jungkook take his time to absorb your piece. A roommate by any other (rude) name: the lost letter. A cheesy, gimmicky title that Victoria insisted upon that you had no choice but relent to. The rest of the spread thankfully has a very authentic edge to it, your story laced with photos of you and Jungkook, your internship with Vernon, and most importantly, a scan of the lavender letter that got left in the past. 
Jungkook’s not silent through his read-through, either. He laughs at all the right parts, fueling your ego as his smile grows at your favorite lines. While he doesn’t directly engage in conversation, his positive energy is enough for you to make you feel like you’ve done your job right. It’s one thing to write about unknown celebrities and unnamed artists, but for people like Jungkook, the validation is personal. 
“It’s beautiful,” Jungkook says when he’s read it thrice through, running his thumb over a picture of you. “Really organic. Really, real.”
“Really?”
“Really,” he chuckles, having run out of adverbs. “It’s funny, too. I liked your little internal monologue. I wish I knew how you felt back then.” 
“I wish you did, too.” 
You’re quietly munching on a strawberry, looking over a polaroid Jungkook took. It was  sometime in the beginning of senior year, where you’ve fallen asleep on his mattress, drool drying on your mouth. Normally you’d be opposed to having such unflattering, grainy pictures amongst your writing, but it encapsulates the youth you’ve tried so hard to chase away. 
“How do you feel?” Jungkook says, switching out the magazine for the plate of fruit, placing it on his side. 
“Feel great, actually,” you muse, smiling to yourself. By no means are you a hero writing some grand gesture in an entertainment magazine, but you feel like you’ve saved yourself. You’ve savored your youth in four thousand words, cutting out the poison and keeping the moment as sweet as it can be. 
“I’m proud of you,” he reaches to ruffle your hair, and you don’t even get mad when it tousles out of your pinned style. 
Reveling in the attention, you simply close your eyes and feed yourself a handful of blueberries. 
“Love that I make money, but I definitely miss college from time to time,” Jungkook stretches, jostling you out of your comfortable position. “Like I remember Taehyung and I would take turns bringing backpacks to the dining hall so we could stuff fruit in it for later.”
“Yeah, but as much as I loved college I wouldn’t go back,” you nod to yourself, “I’m happy where I am now.” 
“What about when we stayed up for midnight breakfast? The dining hall was filled to the brim with food. Remember when I tried to eat a whole stack of pancakes?” 
“Jungkook…” 
“Or when our classes got cancelled and we went to Lotte World? You ate way too much funnel cake and I had to carry you to the car!” 
“Jungkook—” 
“And that one time we snuck out to the music hall’s rooftop?” words gush out of Jungkook’s mouth like a waterfall, unable to relent, “that’s when I realized I liked you. I liked you so much, I tried to tell you that night but choked—”
“Jungkook!” and he immediately zips up, frowning. You straighten up, on your knees as you reach over to run your hands through his onyx tresses, moving the styled strands to the back of his pierced ears, “Jungkook,” you repeat softly, “I’ve heard all these stories, I was there for most of them. As much as I love the past… can we talk about something else?” you give him a small, tentative smile to show him you’re not mad, but a little uncomfortable at his reminiscing. 
He leans into your touch, pressing your palm against the soft swell of his warm cheek. “Okay,” he agrees, resting one hand on your thigh. 
You’re roped in his gaze, and you have to force yourself to breathe when Jungkook moves closer to you. He hooks a leg behind his back, and another across his lap. A cool breeze kisses your inner thighs when your skirt exposes your cotton underwear. You should be embarrassed but instead you’re fixated, unable to understand what he’s trying to accomplish. 
“Then I’m gonna talk about the future,” Jungkook traps you between the couch, his thumb running hot circles to where your skirt has hiked up. It exposes a slip of the thigh that Jungkook has seen a million times. He’s seen you walking around your apartment in a large shirt, ridden up to your boyshorts. It’s different now, you feel exposed and tingly, thrumming with excitement. “I like you, obviously anticipated news and old news. I can’t stop thinking about how much I want to go on dates with you, re-watch Avatar, grumble when I force you to come to the gym with me,” he bumps noses with you when you scrunch yours, “I wanna be with you. Heck, I’ve even cleared space in my spare room so you’d have closet space for all your fancy designer suits if you ever need it.”
“You cleared space?” you manage to choke out. Visions of a shared apartment roll through your brain. Cooking meals together, having two toothbrushes side by side, and waking up to his face. 
“Of course I did. Do you know how financially attractive you are?” he says lightheartedly, “you’re a sexy working woman and it’s crazy to imagine you’d want to settle for me and my little apartment. But I have to try now because if I don’t, it’ll be too late.” 
“That’s not true,” you retort, “you’re not someone I’d settle for. I want you, and no one else.” 
He chuckles, running a thumb over your cheek. “Then what are we waiting for? Your key’s hiding under the mat.” 
“Jungkook…” on the tip of your tongue lays the words you’re going too fast but it doesn’t make its way to the air. 
“But do you really think it’s too fast?” he reads your face clearly, “these feelings never went anywhere. They were locked away, sure. And I loved her,” he can’t even say the name, not when you’re warm and flush against him, “but I loved our friendship more.”
“I… I don’t know what to say,” you breathe, letting the cogs in your brain roll until sparks develop. 
“You don’t have to say anything,” he concedes, “I just wanted to let you know. Could’ve done the letter thing all over again and let the past repeat itself. I know Namjoon wouldn’t hide a love letter for two years, but if I left another damn letter he’d definitely make a copy and tease me about it.” 
You snort, pressing your forehead to his. You’re practically buried in the couch now, tingly and vibrating with happiness. “And I’m not going to leave you hanging. I do want to say something,” and he looks at you expectantly, licking the leftover berry juice on his lips, nearly making you miss your train of thought, “I like you too,” you say, the other L-word is also applicable, but you feel like that phrase is reserved for another time, “I want to show you off on work vacations, bring you along as my date and show them you’re my muse,” you confess, “I wanna play video games with you ‘till 2AM, and eat ice cream in the comfort of our apartment instead of our cars because we’re too stubborn to admit we don’t wanna go home without each other.” 
Jungkook absolutely preens at the affection, sending you a heart melting smile that has your stomach doing backflips.
“Jungkook, I want to fall in love with you again.” 
Your squeal of surprise is swallowed by Jungkook’s lips, tasting of mangoes and berries as strong hands cup your backside, easily lifting you onto his lap. You plop under his strong thighs, feeling them flex against yours. The both of you are pouring in this kiss, raining with promises and hopes for a future with each other. His taste is concentrated, and you can feel the devotion practically injected in his embrace. 
When he pulls away his lips are cherry-red and shiny, looking up at you through clear coffee eyes. “This isn’t a dream, right?” he looks at you up and down, unable to decipher fact from fiction, “because I distinctly remember two wet dreams that involve you looking like this.” 
Looking down, you heat at the disarray you’re in. Hair wild and parted in different wavelengths, tired of the day’s efforts. Your slightly sheer dress-shirt is rumpled, the lace collar opened with two popped buttons revealing your cleavage, and your skirt is stretched so tight that it’s ruched all the way up your thighs. Sprawled across Jungkook’s lap, you’re dangerously close to something long and hard. 
Emboldened, you clutch at Jungkook’s collar, pulling him closer. 
“Show me what happens in your dream,” you whisper into his ear, barely brushing your clothed core against his crotch, “maybe we can make it come true tonight.” 
You can’t see his face, but you feel something dark and sensual overtake him. The grip on your ass tightens, a delicious pain that has you pressing your breasts against him and nipping on his ear, your tongue darting sensually through the cold silver hoops that dart through his skin. 
Within seconds, he rips you away from his neck and demands, “Open.” 
Dazed, you barely get a centimeter of your mouth open when Jungkook presses something cold and sugary against your lips. Whipped cream. You manage to take a small bite of the tart strawberry that he holds by the viridian stem, rolling the flavor between your mouth as Jungkook paints the leftover whipped cream over your lips. Once he’s satisfied he then creates a white trail that leads to your cleavage. 
Better than any dream, his eyes drink you in like the last glass of water in a desert. Your lips are swollen and parted like a baby kitten, covered in the creamy confection. “So pretty,” he exhales, his hot tongue licking from your cleavage to your lips, swallowing the flavor of you and strawberry juice, “such a pretty girl you are, and all mine.” 
“Yours,” you submit easily, rolling your hips against his. 
At that moment you think you’re meant to fall in love this way. You can’t imagine the shy, fumbly Jungkook and your equally confused self waltzing around a relationship when you barely had your lives together. The two of you still had growing to do. The wait is certainly worth it, because as you feel his arms tighten around you, you’re sure this love will stay strong.
It’s difficult for you to find a rhythm at first, what with Jungkook’s strength and need to be satiated, both of you are sloppy but the friction is nothing less than delicious. Your finger reaches over to swipe at the leftover cream on the plate, and you press your finger to Jungkook’s mouth, and he immediately complies. A dollop of sweet cream leaks out of his lips and your panties dampen further when you feel his tongue lick you clean, imagaining how good it would feel if it was your pussy he was licking. 
Your mouth waters at the feeling of his dick lining up against your core, as sticky as the strawberry juice that clings to your bodies. 
“C-can I make a confession? I—oh, Jungkook…” your mind is all fuzzed up when he snaps his hips against yours, causing you to shamelessly bounce on his length. 
“Yeah?” 
“I… I like it when you use all your strength like that,” his hips slow as your words sink in, but you don’t mind as it gives you time to make a long drag along the entirety of his member. “Everytime you pull me up when I trip, or you come back from a workout, I like it when you carry me around like I weigh nothing.” 
“Do—do you think about it a lot?” he grunts, and you stifle a moan when he does a slow, hard drag against your wet folds. “Tell the truth.” 
“It’s, it’s embarrassing,” you whimper, unable to think straight with the amount of stimuli you’re receiving.  
“Please, baby.” 
“Yes mm—oh! I do,” you try to get the words out as quickly as you can. He stops moving, and you groan in frustration so you just lay it all out on the table. “I, I love it when you hold me in your strong arms. And, ah, uh w-henever you come back from the gym you just look so sexy fresh from the shower. Sometimes I think about how you’re too damn nice for your own good but I bet you’d be so rough in bed.” 
“Really?” and then he’s shoving you onto the couch, air brushing against your bare thighs as your back hits the beige throw pillows. He’s hovering, dark eyes starting from the tip of your toes to your damp lips. “You like it when I manhandle you? Throw you around like a little doll?” 
“All that strength, and for what?” you try to keep your snappy remarks in check, but it’s hard when he’s pressing his straining dick against your thigh, weeping and needy. 
“You’re not gonna be joking about my strength anytime soon, baby,” emblazoned, he easily throws your leg over his shoulder, pushing your panties to the side to let your wetness leak out and onto his fingers, “are you gonna complain or be a good girl?” 
“Yes, I’m ah—” you wince when he inserts a finger, “I’ll be good for you,” 
“My good girl,” he revels in the way you melt under his touch, your previous sarcasm quickly dissolving into a puddle. You always had an inkling that Jungkook would be a sneaky fox in bed, all that muscle hidden behind a kind smile and a penchant for tea with milk and honey. 
Jungkook slips in another finger, stretching you and preparing you for what’s to come. He’s scissoring you at a sensible pace that has you squirming and wanting more. To prevent you from shimmying off the couch he holds you down with his free hand, and you love the way he practically feeds you to the couch, hands dancing over your neck as he shoves you further into the furniture. 
“You look so gorgeous,” he says, causing you to moan and keen at his attention, “you’re such a strong, gorgeous woman. Having you sprawled out like this, ready to do whatever I want to you is so fucking hot.” 
“I’m—I’m only weak for you Jungkook,” you say honestly, tears pricking when he dips another finger. The stretch burns deliciously, and your folds eagerly swallow him up until you’re filled to the brim. Your fingers or toys cannot compare to flesh, and you sigh in relief when you see his inked fingers pick up the pace once more. 
“You’re damn right,” Jungkook husks, and with a grain of love he murmurs in your ear, “I’m only weak for you, too.” 
And that’s when he snaps, thumb rolling against your bud as he slams his other fingers against you, going at a brutal pace. You cry out, not caring whether his neighbors hear as he pulls you back and forth through pleasure and pain. 
“T-too much, Kookie,” you mewl, your hand warbling to find his, “I, ah, ‘m gonna cum!” 
“That’s the plan,” he only goes faster, stretching your band further and further before your desired high is reached. His hand trails up to force your chin straight, looking up at him, “let go for me, baby. Wanna feel your pussy clench around my fingers.” 
In seconds, you gush. It has you in a slight panic, drunk on endorphins as you try to lift your head up but Jungkook’s hand is firmly pressing you on your shoulder as he fingers you efficiently through your high, the wet squelching sounds only increasing with your cries. His lap is drenched in your arousal, along with his chin and lips glistening with your essence. 
He finally releases you when you’re practically shaking, his hands sticky and creamy. You moan when he shamelessly licks them within your view, making sure to wrap his tongue around his ink-stained digits. 
“I,” your mouth is dry when you feel the dampness that hits your bottom, “I’ve never, I don’t remember ever—” 
Your babbles are lost between your throat and Jungkook’s tongue, shoved deep into your mouth. Tasting your arousal has you practically vibrating in your place, as you two rut against each other like hungry bunnies. 
“God, you’re amazing,” he says between pecks, kissing away your face of any tears you may have pricked, “Amazing, adorable, absolutely beautifulIadoreyousoso—” 
“Pleasepleaseplease,” you press your hips up, wiggling for more attention, “please fuck me, Jungkook.” 
You can’t help the witchy, satisfied smile when Jungkook’s eyes darken to a thick coal, “Anything for you,” he murmurs, swinging your legs between his arms as he lifts you like a feather. 
On his lap again, you soon accept that the way you two mesh like puzzle pieces is one of your favorite positions as it gives you both equal space to ravish each other. 
Just when your hand trails to the waistband of his boxer briefs and you’re rolling your thumb over its collected moisture, the moment is shattered when the doorbell rings. You jump in his arms, unprepared for your moment to be interrupted. 
He groans into the crown of your hair, and you soften in his relaxed hold, “I ordered us pizza,” he nearly forgot. 
Perking your head up to look at him you regard him innocently, as if you didn’t release a waterfall on his sweats two seconds ago. “You got us pizza?” 
“I knew you’d be coming over tonight,” he’s pouting into your neck, regretting ever having called the pizza guy if he knew this would happen, “Victoria posted the publish date on Twitter. I just didn’t think,” he gestures vaguely to the mess on his pants, “this would happen.”  
“Damn, and here I thought I was being sneaky,” you chuckle, flicking his ear playfully. 
He gives you an uncharacteristically subby whine, shamelessly upset he has to let you go so fast after he’s given you your first of many highs. Before he weakens further under your beauty, he unceremoniously shoves you off. “Sorry, pretty girl,” you melt at the easy way his pet name rolls off his lips, “can you wait in my room for a bit so I can pay the delivery guy? I don’t want them to see you like this.” 
“But I want to eat pizza,” you declare stubbornly, standing up to button your blouse and pull down your skirt. 
Before you could fasten one button or pull down one centimeter, his hand darts out to snatch your wrist away from your body. It doesn’t hurt much, but it causes your body to heat in more places than one. He’s sexy like this, demanding your attention. “No,” he rumbles definitively, “my room. Now.” 
“Why?” you throw your hands in the air, yelping when he slaps your ass. He makes sure to make it sting, cupping you fully. 
“Because,” he says firmly, “you don’t get to eat until I eat,” you whimper when his hand reaches to cup your sex, panties wet and cold without his warmth as he pushes you in the direction of his bedroom. 
Oh, you can’t wait for both of you to eat tonight. 
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some time later.
“Ohmygod the view is beautiful!” Krystal, who works in advertisement, squeals. “No filter needed!” 
“Alright alright, make room Princess,” Namjoon teases. With a bump to Krystal’s tiny hips Namjoon shoves you two across the pavilion, putting his arm around you once he finds the perfect angle, “Umji, can you get a pic of me and my Work Wife? I want this on the Big Hit Instagram!” 
You hold your straw sunhat down from the salty wind, smiling beautifully as Umji takes multiple pictures of you and Namjoon from her Nikon. Another successful year under your notch, ending with a successful work retreat. 
“Namjoon, can I take a picture with my actual wife now?” 
“We’re not married, Jungkook,” you chastise, patting the chest of Namjoon’s floral printed Hawaiian shirt so he can switch. Instantly, Jungkook slides up next to you like a picture perfect stock model piece, and you wrap your arms around his trim waist, “we’re not even engaged.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” he pouts, looking over the pavilion and adjusting the both of you so there’s a good amount of you and the resort in the background. The sun may be scathingly hot, but it looks beautiful perched over the crystal clear waters. “Namjoon, you got it easy,” Jungkook says when he hands him your phone, “every angle is our good angle, so you can’t mess it up.” 
Being the honest man he is, Namjoon knows better and doesn’t say anything to that. Instead he shoots down whatever pineapple-flavored concoction is offered to him on a silver platter, and starts shooting. 
“Is this swimsuit new?” Jungkook murmurs into your ear between shots, flicking your little red number by the strap connecting the back, “because I didn’t see this in the luggage.” 
You smile big, pearly whites as Namjoon demands to pop out your butt and work it, pressing your body closer to Jungkook’s. “Tiny enough so I could hide it in my purse,” you reply proudly, voice low for only each other’s ears, “why, surprised?” 
“Definitely not prepared,” his fingers dig deliciously in your bare flesh, “would Victoria fire you if she catches us doing it in the cabana?” 
Amused that your boyfriend now shares your combined awe and fear of your boss, you twist his nipple lightly. He yelps, and from Namjoon’s guaff he’s definitely got that on camera. “We didn’t come to Boracay to fuck in the cabana.” 
“Then the hotel room?” 
Namjoon hands you back your phone when he considers his job done, letting you and Jungkook have some alone time. You wave your phone in his face, trying to get him to focus on the task at hand. You wanted to post some cute pictures of you and your boyfriend, one to impress the family back home and the Big Hit interns back in Seoul who are absolutely pining for your position. 
“Jungkook, they have the water ski thing where you can flip in the water mid air! Doesn’t that sound fun? Or we can go scuba diving, have Filipino food, or get massages. LIterally, we’re on Big Hit’s dime, and the first thing you want to do is go back to the room?” 
“Yes,” he pouts petulantly, leaning into the hollow of your ear and whispering, “got a chub on.” 
Discreetly so, your hands brush against his navy trunks and you note yes, he’s half hard. “No!” you shake your head definitively, pushing him out of your arms. You’re not letting sex get in the way of your hard-earned vacation, you’re on company dime and you intend to milk every peso of it. “Namjoon, take him away!” 
You blow him a kiss and follow another group who’s decided to go eat, watching your boyfriend get dragged away by Namjoon’s long arms. Krystal, who’s been mildly watching the whole ordeal in-between taking selfies, looks at you in awe, “You got it good, bosslady,” she says, and you happily link arms with her in the direction of the restaurants. 
You and Jungkook definitely have it good. You don’t see him until dinnertime, looking utterly relaxed as he sips on a mango-muddled concoction. He must’ve gotten a couples massage with Namjoon, cute. Splitting up was definitely a good idea, by the time your meal arrives the two of you are practically leaning against each other, telling each other what events you need to do tomorrow and events you think will be fun to do together. 
“Joon,” Jungkook is throwing an arm over your Wusband’s shoulder, mildly tipsy. The image is adorable, as Jungkook long ago previously confessed that he felt a little jealous of Namjoon’s work relationship with you before you were dating. Now, it feels like they’re best friends and you’re third-wheeling. “What do you think about having halo-halo tomorrow? It’s like bingsu but with a bunch of other good stuffs. There’s red bean, mango, ube, ice cream…” 
Just as Jungkook begins his tirade of dessert ingredients, you pull up your phone to check on your social media. You smile back at your profile, seeing your latest Instagram post at the very top of the feed. Not to flex, but the two of you look pretty smokin’ since you’ve been keeping up with Jungkook’s insistence to join him at the gym. Jungkook and you are leaning against the pristine veranda, overlooking the clear blue water and a cloudless sky. The smiles you two sport are genuine and utterly in love. 
You scroll down the comments, most of them filled with sweet messages but one of them has you doing a double take. 
@sooyaaa__: 😒😒😒 knew something was goin on behind my back… good riddance
The smell of Jungkook’s detergent overtakes your nostrils, and you turn to him. He’s stopped talking, now immersed in whatever’s going on in your phone. 
“The nerve of her,” Jungkook scrunches his nose, disgusted at her latest comment. “As if anyone would believe her.” 
“Yeah,” you echo, “I feel bad for her, though. She’s probably lonely.” 
“Her loss, she put this upon herself. Not us.” 
You pout, “I know, but she was my friend at one point.” 
He frowns, putting an arm behind your backrest. It would be easy for him to say yeah, and she was my girlfriend and one-up you, leaving it at that. But now he knows better, and that friendship is a much better value than an ill-fated relationship. “Sorry baby,” it’s not his fault, but he sees your disappointment in putting out hope for an old friend. He gives you a little smooch on your temple, “do you miss her?” 
“The old her, yeah,” you sigh, clicking on her profile, “but now? I can do without her negativity.” 
“Okay,” he takes your phone from your hand, “have you ever blocked a person before?”
“No.”
“Well, today’s the day,” he says it so coolly, you barely have time to think when he clicks the ‘block’ button on Jisoo’s profile, then clicking off his phone to put in his pocket. “No more phone for today,” he proceeds to take your plate that was recently served, taking the time to cut your large vegetables into smaller portions. “Like you said, we shouldn’t waste your vacation time.” 
Your heart swells with butterflies for Jeon Jungkook, who’s meticulously cutting your food and telling you to relax and stop dwelling on the past. He’s right, if Jisoo’s not going to stick around for the future and continue to cause negativity in your life, why not keep the positives in the past while it lasted? 
“You know I love you, right?” 
He ceases cutting, and looks at you to pop a sweet potato in his mouth. “Love me enough to do it in the cabana?” 
He’s still on that? “Jungkook,” you warn, pretending to get up, “forget I said anything. I’m gonna go karaoke with Umji.” 
“Kiddingggg,” he whines, pulling you back down with an outstretched hand, “you know I love you too.” 
“You’re terrible.” 
“Only this way because I’d know you’d totally be into cabana sex if we were vacationing by ourselves.” 
“Yes, but you’re still terrible,” you giggle when Jungkook steals a kiss, just as easy as he’s stolen your heart.  
4K notes · View notes
alexaplaysgames · 3 years ago
Text
Request: “Could you write something in which the mc is starting to develop feelings for Felix but denies them constantly/tries not to confess or accept them as a reality because they fear what would follow if and when they happen to go back to earth later...?”
Here you are! I literally have to fight myself to keep from making every dramatic moment occur at sunset on a grassy plain. This time, I lost. Sorry for the wait, I’ve hated my writing recently. Thought I don’t love this, either, I hope you enjoy it :) I changed to first person for this cause my brain is Like That.
Title: Did you Really Mean it?
Pairing: Felix Escellun x GN!MC (Last Legacy)
Words: 2484
Tags: @demon-paradise @themohawkhelmet @cactus-hoodie @aomiyeon @piningmaybeanartist @another-confused-gay @uselessbeanies @nomnomcupcakesworld @druwuuwu @frozen-daydream @kirakiratears @margitartist @crowtrinkets @fanfic-about-fictif Please let me know if you would like to be added or removed.
The first time, he had been quick to dismiss it.
Felix had asked for your help reaching one of the taller shelves of the library. He claimed he needed access to one of the books, strictly for academic purposes, of course, but you’d judged by the sight of his rosy cheeks that he more so just wanted you to touch him.
Nonetheless, you had risen from your comfortable position on the sofa and accompanied him without complaint, teasing him all the while about his short stature. When you’d pinched his flushed cheek, he’d rolled his eyes with a groan, hoping you didn’t see the goosebumps that had spread across his skin at your touch.
Standing in front of the shelves, you’d wrapped your arms around his waist. This seemed most sensible, rather than vice versa, given how he knew which book to look for. You’d felt Felix’s breath leave him in a rush as your arms slid around him, his ribs contract as he exhaled. He’d shivered as your fingers brushed the bare skin near his hips where his shirt had ridden up.
Yet, he had leaned back into you as if he didn’t want you to let him go. You swallowed. That is what made this so difficult, you thought. You didn’t want to let him go, either. You simply knew that you would have to.
It was surprisingly effortless to lift him to reach one of the dust-covered titles a few shelves above your heads. As Felix had pulled the book off the shelf, a thick layer of dust had been dislodged with it. He’d sneezed, and the force of it made you stumble. 
You’d fallen back onto the cushy carpet below with a gasp, Felix landing slightly on top of you with a startled yelp.
“Ouch,” you’d mumbled, rubbing your head, and then burst into laughter at the ridiculousness of it all. 
“S-sorry,” Felix stammered. He looked quite abashed. You’d only shaken your head with a fond sigh and reached up to tuck his hair behind his ear.
Felix’s breath had hitched at that, his eyes going saucer wide. You dropped your hand as if he’d burnt you. Only now did you realize how close your faces were. You could count every one of his eyelashes, this close, feel the heat of his breath. His gaze briefly flitted towards your parted lips, laden with desire.
“We should get up, now.” Your smile had turned a little tense, which Felix noticed. You’d looked as if you wanted to push him off. 
He winced. “R-right. Yes, of course.”
When you’d stood and parted ways, he couldn’t help but feel the slight sting of rejection. He clutched the book to his chest as he watched you walk away. 
Perhaps he was over-thinking things.
✦✧✦✧
The next time, however, he was certain something was wrong. 
You’d been quite clearly avoiding him as of late, skirting around his company with flimsily construed excuses that you were much too busy to see him.
Felix didn’t mind. Being on his own was something he’d grown to find familiar, if not enjoyable. He told himself that it was reasonable for you to wish to spend some time apart from him, and while a part of him believed that, another part wondered why he wasn’t good enough to hold your attention. 
You used to adore him. He could still feel your fingers in his hair, your hands on his skin. At what point did he begin to bore you? Had all your comments of accepting him for who he was served only to pacify his childish, moody self? Did you mean none of it at all? 
It certainly felt that way.
Then, one evening, you’d told him you were going out to a tavern with Sage. Though you’d invited him to join you, he’d declined, partially due to his being a lightweight, but also the fact that he wasn’t certain whether you truly wished to see him at all.
Yet, hours later, when you still hadn’t returned, Felix’s stomach churned with worry. He was torn between going to you and offering you the space you so clearly craved. 
With a sigh, he’d wrapped a cloak around his shoulders and set off to find you. He simply wanted to make sure you were alright, that was all. It needn’t be more complicated than that.
You were seated in a booth in one of the local establishments, Sage at your side. He could smell the alcohol on your breath the moment you drew near. “Felix, my sweet!” you’d laughed as you saw him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. Felix frowned at the pet name. He’d almost forgotten that you used to calm him that. 
He had closed his eyes at your touch, melted into the familiar warmth of it. Then you’d frozen, looked up at him with cloudy eyes, and proclaimed that you were leaving. 
Felix blinked at you in astonishment. “What?” 
You had offered him no reply. 
Felix had followed you as you stumbled slightly out the doors and into the darkened streets. He himself had often taken to midnight walks through the city, knowing that he had the means to protect himself. You, however, had no such training. 
You’d tripped over your feet as you walked, intoxicated, through the cobblestone streets. Felix grabbed you elbow and spun you to face him.
“Stop this- this tomfoolery,” he gasped. “You’re going to maim yourself!”
“Leave me be, Felix,” you’d pouted, your words dangerously slurred. “I can’t- I don’t want to see you right now.”
Felix’s breath caught; your words sunk through his skin and settled as an ache in his chest. Yet, before he could say anything in reply, you stumbled again. He pulled you against his side to keep you from falling over, slinging one of your arms over his thin shoulders. 
Felix is many things, but strong is not one of them- you nearly broke his slight frame with your weight, and he panted while he struggled to hold you. Nonetheless, he managed to guide you through the streets to the nearest inn, conscious of your breath by his ear all the while. 
You’d flopped down onto the worn sheets of the bed Felix rented, your hair haloed around your head. The young necromancer’s heart hurt as he watched you, until you’d grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the bed at your side.
“Kiss me,” you begged, the heady scent of brandy curling around the words, and conflict waged war across Felix’s delicate features. “Kiss me, Felix, this might be the last time you get the chance.”
Felix’s grey eyes welled with tears. “I- I can’t,” he choked, feverishly shaking his head against the sheets. Oh, he had wanted to, you knew it even through your haze. You saw how his eyes once more drew towards your lips before he tore them away.
“Then go,” you said simply, rolling away from him and onto your side. 
And he had. 
Felix wrapped his arms around himself as he walked home through the streets alone. 
✦✧✦✧
The third time hurt the most. 
“Are you two officially together, now?” Anisa had asked you one evening, and Felix had waited for your response with bated breath, tucked outside the doorway where he knew you couldn’t see him.
Until it finally came, and he wished he hadn’t. 
“No.” You said it with such finality, such certainty, he was sure you could hear his heart breaking, the sound of his panicked breaths. “Felix and I… I don’t think we’re a good fit.”
That was it, the final straw. He choked on a sob as he turned away, already feeling the hot rush of tears spilling from behind his closed eyelids. 
He had curled up in his study, face tucked into the worn couch, and cried into his elbows, cursing his own stupidly all the while. His tears soaked through the strands of his hair, ran down his face in rivulets, dripping off his chin. 
He was so delirious at that point that he allowed Stella to curl up next to him, even stroking his fingers through her soft, silky fur.
“W-why am I like this, Stella?” Felix mumbled, still sniffling around the remnants of his sobs. “It was idiotic of m-me, to think-” Felix flopped onto his back, wiping at his eyes. Then he groaned. “Goddess, and now here I am, conversing with you. A rather pitiful display.”
Stella, as expected, did not offer a reply, though her rumbling purr provided some comfort. 
Felix stared up at the ceiling until morning light streamed in through the windows, caught in a miserable state. He is accustomed to being alone- after all, his wasn’t the first time he had his heart broken by someone he was sure he was in love with.
This was the only time, however, that it cut him this deeply. Never had he felt such hurt before, not even in death. In fact, he was certain he preferred that dull, empty nothingness to this.
He sighed, tiredly letting his eyes flutter shut. Stella’s fur tickled his nose, and he whispered, “How you’ve ruined me, my dear barista.”
✦✧✦✧
Things were strained between the two of you from then on. Felix wouldn’t meet your eyes whenever you were near each other. You could tell, by the redness of his eyes, that he had been crying, though for what reason you couldn’t be sure.
He kept his distance, and you chastised yourself for missing him. This is what you wanted, wasn’t it? But you suddenly weren’t so certain. You stomach was slowly twisting into knots of guilt and longing.
You sat with Felix, sifting through more textbooks in an attempt to find a hint as to how to send you home. It served as a reminder, somewhat, as to why you had pushed him away, though as time passed the memory became fainter. You were instead focused on how Felix kept his eyes trained downwards, not once making a characteristically snide or snarky remark.
The silence and the tension stretched between the two of you until it snapped like a frayed string.
“Why?” Felix suddenly asked you, gasped it out as if it pained him. You’d met his eyes, though he still wouldn’t meet yours, his hands squeezed into fists in his lap.
“Why what?”
“Why did you turn me away?” he continued, his lower lip quivering. “I had hoped-” he trailed off, as if he couldn’t bring himself to finish the thought.
“I suppose it doesn’t matter,” Felix finished a moment later with a soft, self-deprecating laugh. “You deserve much better than m-me, of course. I was selfish to think otherwise.”
“Felix-”
But Felix was no longer listening, having slammed his textbooks shut and left your side with tears swimming in his stormy eyes, muttering under his breath about how stupid he had been, desperate to keep you from seeing what a mess he’d become.
You felt awful. You’d been so determined to quell the growth of your relationship that you’d disregarded Felix’s rather fragile sense of self worth. You’d absolutely crushed him, you thought regretfully, and for what? Perhaps what was between you couldn’t last, but you should’ve been grateful for the time with him you were given.
Hours passed. You’d searched the rest of the day for Felix, but you couldn’t find him. Not in his bedroom, his study, the library, not with Sage or Anisa- your necromancer had mysteriously vanished. 
Until you’d remembered one evening when he showed you one of his favourite places- a grassy hillside overlooking the sprawling city underneath. With the sun sinking over the horizon, you’d found him there, chin resting on his knees, pulled up to his chest. The wind whipped through his dark hair, cooling the streaks of tears on his reddened face. 
Felix looked back over his shoulder at your sudden appearance through one of his trademark portals, then buried his face in his arms with a low groan. 
“Felix, listen to me,” you whispered. Coming to sit beside him in the long grass, you gently wrapped your arms around his waist and pulled him into your side. You could feel him hiccup, feel him tremble against you.
You settled your chin on his shoulder as the both of you looked out over the world that had once been so foreign to you. The wind once more rippled through the sea of grass around you, the sun reflecting off each individual strand. As the sunlight slowly waned into a single strip, it touched the tips of the buildings below and lit them up like candles.
“I am so, so sorry, baby,” you said, “for making you feel that way. I was worried it would hurt, when I have to leave. I thought I was doing us both a favour by keeping us apart. You did nothing wrong, Felix, and you weren’t selfish.” You squeezed your eyes shut, feeling the dying sun warm your face. “I was.” 
“You weren’t-” came Felix’s muffled reply, quick to defend you as always. You shook your head, kissing the curve of his shoulder. 
“I was. I thought it would be best for both of us, but I was wrong. I missed you so much, you know. Every day, I always wanted to see you. But I didn’t, and I told myself that was for the best. It was stupid. I hurt us both.”
Felix exhaled. You could feel the tension melt off him in little waves as his shoulders slumped. “You will have to leave, one day,” he murmured. “It was only logical.”
“Then we’ll face that when it comes, okay?”
Felix sighed, closing his eyes, then leaned into you and settled his head on your shoulder. “Okay.” That one word was still rather wobbly, as if he didn’t believe you. His chest rattled with each of his shaky, uneven breaths. 
“Now, let me see you smile.”
You suspected you were pushing your luck with that, and your assumption had been proven correct when Felix rolled his eyes and sent you a rather unimpressed look. “No. That’s ridiculous,” he huffed. “I’m not an infant.”
You simply resorted to other means of achieving what you sought. Felix squeaked as you shifted to the side and rolled him onto your lap, laying down in the long grass in a similar position as you had in the library, long ago. This time, however, when his eyes went wide above you, you shot up and kissed him, merely a chaste peck on his plush lower lip.
His blush was more brilliant than the setting sun behind him, a bright, fiery red you couldn’t believe you ever thought to abandon. Though he groaned and stubbornly averted his eyes, Felix couldn’t help but smile- a mere quirk of his lips that was faint enough to miss.
And yet, it was good enough for you.
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earthblooded · 2 years ago
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Wip Wednesday
Been a looooong time since I've done one of these but it's also been a long time since I've written anything.
This is for my ongoing story illicit affair on ao3, and the beginning of chapter 3 is under the cut.
Link to the first two chapters are heeeeere
Rating is M to be safe
This fic was supposed to be fairly lighthearted but I accidentally made this excerpt angsty. Oops.
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Rayla watched as the clock in the corner of her monitor changed to 18:00 and she sighed as she tidied away some papers and shut down the computer. She rubbed her eyes, leaning back in her chair, while she often stayed late, her reasoning today differed to the usual deadlines.
Her avoidance of the world outside her office extended to lunch and coffee breaks too, so her back ached from sitting in the same position, her eyes were strained, and crumbs still speckled her desk from her working lunch despite the many attempts to clear them all.
She knew she couldn’t avoid him forever, but she just needed that space today to think it all through. Though, instead of strategies to put this to bed, her mind often wandered to other details, namely those in bed. Her mind was hazy that morning, but it took little time for it all to come flooding back, his heavy breath in her ear, strong hands at her waist, lips touching every inch of her.
Shuddering as she stood, she chastised herself for the umpteenth time that day. It was precisely those thoughts that she needed to avoid if they were going to get past this. She needed sleep, or coffee, or a slap across the face to pull herself together. Regardless, tomorrow would be better, she was determined for it to be.
She grabbed her coat and shouldered her bag as she closed her office door, almost walking straight into-
“Callum!” He stepped back suddenly, as if burned, and clambered to apologise. Rayla waved a hand, indicating her forgiveness, and smoothed her hair while she waited for her nerves to settle enough to speak “You’re still here? That’s dedication.”
“Oh, uh... I was just leaving,” he rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding her gaze. “I just prefer to finish what I started, better jumping off point for the next day, you know?”
“Nothing wrong with that." It was a philosophy she followed herself, sometimes to her detriment, she remembered, so added “don't make a habit of staying late though, you don’t want burnout in your first week here.”
He nodded but said nothing, and Rayla chewed her lip.
“How was your first day?” She asked.
“Good, thanks.” He shifted uncomfortably, still looking everywhere but at her.
“Good. Any problems at all?”
“Nope.”
The conversation was strained, a stark contrast to the flow they had the night before. It was a natural progression, all things considered, a necessary evil, given the way they started and the power imbalance in play now. Still, Rayla struggled with the knowledge of how easy it could be, if things were different.
“Look, this will be difficult, but only at first. Once our feelings have died down, the awkwardness will go with it.”
He looked at her for the first time since they officially met, he eyebrow cocked and a teasing smile playing on his lips. “Oh, you have feelings for me then?”
Heat rose in her cheeks, as she realised her mistake. She'd never intended on admitting any feelings, but she was hard pressed to deny them now. “I’m not a robot.”
“Could have fooled me.”
Her mind went back to that morning in her office. The hurt she saw in him was hard to ignore, but what else could she do?
“It’s just difficult. I worked to gain respect here so it’s hard for me to just switch off work-mode when I’m here,” she said, gesturing around them at the empty office. “The last thing I need is a scandal.” A quiet settled between them for a moment, not an awkward silence, but a contemplative quiet as they stared at one another.
“I kicked myself this morning when I realised I didn’t have your number, didn’t even have your name.” She knew she shouldn’t say it, knew that it served nothing other than further difficulties for the both of them, but she needed him to know how she really felt. “I memorised your address though, you were going to be something special and I was going to… I don’t know. Corny romantic gesture or something”
“I would have liked that.” His voice was hollow and he looked at her with what looked like pain, and something else she couldn’t quite place. Whatever it was, it made her chest ache.
“Maybe in another lifetime.” She whispered.
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soobmint · 4 years ago
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paper hearts | choi soobin [f] ; [c] 80s! au, 9.6k words
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s u m m a r y ; if there was one thing you wanted to avoid on valentine’s day, it was running into your ex best friend, choi soobin. but when a series of unfortunate events involving too much purple eyeshadow, drunken punches, and one stolen bicycle leads you right back to his side, you begin to realize that maybe you truly belonged with him all along.
c o n t e n t s ; soobin x fem!reader, 80s! au, valentine’s day, ex best friend! soobin, rich boy! soobin, but he’s a major dweeb and the biggest softie, yeonjun is a major prick (i’m so sorry junnie), reader is a part time worker, soobin is best friends with lee felix of stray kids, some themes of social classes, roughly inspired by the 80s movie “pretty in pink,” mentions drugs, alcohol, and single parent households, mostly just fluff, fluff, and more fluff, with a hint of crack/humor
n o t e ; hello friends! this was a very quickly planned, last minute valentine’s day idea, and it’s actually a collab with one of my dearest friends, @chanluster ! she posted her piece of the collab as well, you can check it out by going to the collab masterlist here! this was so much fun to write and i think that 80s! soobin was just too good of a concept to pass up! anyways, happy valentine’s day, i hope you enjoy this oneshot! do leave a like, reblog, or comment if you could, it really helps so much <3
[back to my masterlist] [oneshot playlist]
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IF ONE MORE CUT-OUT, CRAFT-PAPER HEART HIT YOU IN THE FACE, YOU WERE GOING TO QUIT YOUR JOB.
Of course you would never actually quit. With your mother out of the picture and your father working nonstop overtime just to barely have enough cash to put food on the table for the both of you, you had come to rely on your minimum wage part-time hours more than you liked to admit. However, the handmade strings of paper hearts that hung from wall to wall throughout the entirety of the record shop you were employed at was enough to make you consider it; not to mention the Phil Collins record that had been spinning all day, filling your ears with melodies embodying the very air of romance, and the embarrassing pink sweater your boss had forced you to wear. You mumbled curses beneath your breath as you pulled at the collar, itching away at your neck.
When you made a step towards a crate full of records, ready to tidy it up after a customer had rummaged through it leaving it a mess, you were met with another face full of cheap red construction paper. With a large growl of exasperation, you swatted at the hearts and accidentally caused the entire string of them to fall to the ground. You cleared your throat, glad that no customers were present to see your little outburst.
Your boss, Jen, still saw it all.
“That’s not very festive of you, kid,” She said, taking a drag on her cigarette. “It’s Valentine’s Day! Lighten up.”
“Ah, my bad. I forgot that I was supposed to be overjoyed on the day honoring the execution of St. Valentine,” You said as you gave her a sarcastic smile. “I’ll make sure to smile at the next couple that walks in and ask them how they plan to contribute to the commercialization of a martyr’s death.”
“You must be real fun at parties,” Jen mumbled. She shook her cigarette at you from behind the counter. “You’re just bitter because you don’t have a valentine. I can’t blame anyone for giving you the cold shoulder with that attitude of yours.”
You scowled, picking up the string of hearts that you had sent crashing to the floor. “I’m not bitter, and I don’t want a date. Also, I told you to stop smoking inside! It smells awful.”
“Last I checked, this was my shop, not yours.” You rolled your eyes as you approached the counter, handing the discarded string to Jen so she could throw it in the trash. “Now you’re making me do chores for you too? You’ve got some nerve, I’ll give you that.”
“Jen, please, I’m really not in the mood for this today.”
Jen shrugged, bending towards the trash can to throw away the string of hearts when she paused and pulled something from the bin. You glanced over your shoulder and gasped when you saw what she held in her hand—a small red envelope with your name scrawled across the front and a pink heart-shaped sticker stuck on the back.
“What’s this?” Jen asked, opening the envelope and shaking out the contents. A single slip of paper fell out, landing atop the counter. You rushed to grab it, but Jen snatched it up just before your fingers reached the countertop.
“Give me that,” You insisted, face growing warm. “I threw it away for a reason!”
“It’s an invitation to a party?” She seemed beyond surprised, glancing back and forth between you and the paper several times. “You got invited to a Valentine’s Day party, and instead of going, you asked me to give you extra hours? Why?”
You looked down at your feet, digging the toe of your sneaker into the blue carpet. There were, in fact, many reasons why you did not want to go to that party. They were as follows:
One: Choi Yeonjun was the one who had invited you. After you had rejected his offer when he asked to take you to a basketball game a month before, you could barely make eye contact with him in the school hallway without feeling guilty. That and the fact that he was one of the richest preps in the school, you knew he had just been asking you out for some sort of prank or dare that you preferred to not potentially fall victim to.
Two: you needed to work as much as you could. Money, as always, was tight for you and your father. There was no way you would sacrifice precious hours to go to a party full of rich kids where nothing but humiliation was sure to await you.
Three: your old childhood friend and the one person you couldn’t bear to see was probably going to be there—Choi Soobin.
You had barely spoken to Soobin in the four years you had been in high school. Crossing paths with him in the cafeteria, turning down the same aisle of books as him in the library, all those tiny stolen glances and accidental encounters were the only bits of interaction you had kept throughout all that time. The worst part was, he hadn’t done anything wrong.
It was nothing but your own cowardice that had driven the two of you apart, and you were still too afraid to own up to it.
Instead of explaining all of this to Jen, you simply shrugged and said, “I dunno. It just sounds lame.”
Your boss sighed, holding the invitation out towards you. “Okay, I’m letting you off early. Go to the party.”
With wide eyes, you shook your head immediately. “Absolutely not. Why in the world would I go?”
“Well, first of all, it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity for you. Who knows when your next chance to go to a party will be.”
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at that.
“Second, it’s a holiday! The only reason I even opened today was because you were begging me for hours. I thought it was because you were bummed about having no plans, but clearly it’s because you wanted an excuse to be a recluse.”
“Hey, I’m not a recluse.”
“Clearly.” She shook the invitation at you once more, brows raised. “If you go, I’ll raise your pay by fifty cents for the next month.”
Your ears perked up at that.
“Well?” She asked, well aware that she had hit the jackpot. “What'd ya say?”
Weighing the risks against the benefits, you bit the inside of your cheek.
“Make it a dollar and you’ve got a deal.” 
-
“HAPPY VALENTINE’S, CHOI.”
When Soobin heard the sarcastic remark coming from his best friend, Felix, he had to fight back the urge to burst into tears then and there. He still wasn’t quite sure how Felix had convinced him to come, but he was already regretting it. The last thing he wanted to do to celebrate the day dedicated to love was spend it at a house party—or, as Soobin preferred to call them, any outcast high school kid’s version of hell on earth.
With a quick peek between his fingers, which he had used to cover his eyes immediately upon arriving at the site of the Valentine’s party, Soobin caught another eye-full of couples getting all too familiar with one another out in the open. He gulped, letting his hands grip the handles of the bike as he averted his gaze, choosing to cast his best glare at Felix, who was busy adjusting his ever-present beanie.
“Shut up,” he murmured, slowly sliding off the seat of his bike. He dusted off the worn, tearing cushion, glancing around the area. “Now quick, we gotta put our stuff somewhere safe.”
Felix looked aghast, making no moves to help Soobin in his search for a hiding spot. “What are you doing?”
“Tryna find a safe place for my bike?” He thought the answer to be somewhat obvious, but clearly Felix wasn’t on the same track of thinking. “You don’t know today’s world! Anyone is willing to steal nowadays.”
“Soobin, your bike is coughing up oil from its chains. It should be in its own care home at this rate.”
“I don’t wanna hear your slander, skater boy,” Soobin retorted, eyeing Felix’s ebony skateboard that he refused to be seen without. As if on cue, when he pushed his bike forward, the chains squealed, drawing the attention of a pair of particularly passionate individuals who had been wrapped up with one another moments before. Soobin ignored their annoyed stares, feeling his ears burn from embarrassment. He glanced back to Felix. “Help me find a hiding spot.”
Felix was anything but enthusiastic, but he began to help Soobin search nonetheless.
“Slide it in here, Soobs,” Felix called a few moments later. He was pointed to an empty space between the home’s perfectly trimmed bushes. Soobin pursed his lips together, pushing his large glasses further up the bridge of his nose—a nervous tick of his. Felix groaned, rolling his eyes. “Or you can leave it out in the open so it’ll spit more oil on the passersby? Is that what you want?”
“Fine, fine!” Soobin huffed, wheeling his bike over to the shrubbery, chains squeaking all the way. He carefully laid it beneath the brush and moved a few branches to cover it up nicely. He stood up straight, dusting his hands on the front of his loose blue jeans. “What about your skateboard?”
Felix gave the board a pat, awarding his most prized possession a dazzling smile one would expect to see a proud father giving his beloved son. But in reality, it was the school’s stoner grinning ear to ear at his old, dusty skateboard. “Nightrider stays with me.”
Soobin scrunched his nose, cringing on instinct. He still calls that thing by that stupid name?
Felix clapped him on the shoulder before he could make a remark, catching him off guard when he said, “Right. Let’s go and get your girl.”
There was nothing Soobin could do to stop the flush that rushed to his cheeks right away. Images of you, his ex-best friend and the only reason he had even come to this party in the first place, flashed through his mind. Had he not overheard Yeonjun invite you earlier that morning and then casually mention the encounter to Felix, there was no way he would have even stepped foot out of his house that night. Part of him was peeved, wishing he had never uttered a single word about you to his overbearing friend. Yet, deep down, there was hope within him—the tiniest sliver.
If there was even the slightest chance that he could talk to you that night, he would do anything. Even if it meant dealing with a stupid party, and the never-ceasing teasing he was bound to continue receiving from Felix.
“Don’t even say that,” He said, emphasizing each word as they walked up the front steps. Soobin had to glance down at his much shorter friend to see the devious grin on his freckled face.
“Say what? That she’s your girl, your woman, your one and only?”
The blush must have been creeping to his neck by that point. He could feel it. “I. . .” There were many things Soobin wished to say; angry words that would hopefully shut the blonde skater boy up real quick. But he couldn’t bring himself to say a single harsh word, so he sighed in defeat. “I can’t even say it.”
“That you hate me?” Felix only grinned even bigger, and Soobin couldn’t help the tiny defeated smile that slipped over his features. “Oh, I know. It’s because I’m too good of a best friend.”
They stepped into the house then, instantly being overwhelmed by loud music, boisterous laughter, and drunken yells echoing throughout the halls. Soobin latched onto Felix right away, gripping his friend’s sleeve as someone stumbled into him, a bit of beer spilling from their cup. He pushed his glasses up, only for them to slide right back down as he began to sweat.
“Maybe we should go home, Lix!” Soobin shouted to be heard over the noise as they travelled further into the house. “We can always try next year!”
“Stop being a scaredy-cat!” Felix shouted back, and Soobin thought he might actually begin to cry as they squeezed their way into the living room. Soobin nearly gagged at the strong smell of alcohol as it burned in his nose. The scene was nothing short of a nightmare to Soobin—loud voices, smoke rising in the air, vodka assaulting his nose and sweat beading on the back of his neck. He had never been one to drink, and he didn’t plan on starting that night; but he was beginning to understand what Felix meant when he had once told him it was nearly impossible to get through one of these parties sober.
He was about to make another complaint and beg to leave when someone from the crowd hollered his name, causing him to wince when he recognized that voice as the one that belonged to none other than Choi Yeonjun.
“Soobin! Where you been?”
Soobin smiled nervously at the school’s heartthrob—and textbook snobby rich kid—before he turned back to Felix. He didn’t want to leave his friend, but he knew that he would never hear the end of it if he ignored Yeonjun’s persistent calls. “I’ll be right back,” He promised Felix, still holding onto his sleeve.
“No, no,” Felix assured. “You go. You’ll probably find her around that place anyway.”
Soobin wasn’t so sure of that. You were definitely not of the right social standing to be caught amongst the circle of the school’s rich boys—which was why it had surprised Soobin that Yeonjun had invited you to the party in the first place. Your high school had its own caste system, and you were near the bottom of it.
And, as much as it pained him to admit it, Soobin was stuck at the very top with all the other rich snobs who cared about nothing more than their daily allowances that came straight from their daddy’s bank account.
“What about you, buddy?” He asked Felix, desperate for any excuse to remain by his friend’s side. He would have tried to bring Felix with him, but his friend was in an even worse social standing than you were—he was poor, and he was most known for being the school’s pothead. There was no way Soobin would willingly drag him into a situation where nothing but slander and torment awaited him.
“Me?” Felix shrugged, gripping his board tighter. “I’ll just smoke away the night.”
Soobin pouted, glancing back at the group of preps as they called for him once again. He sighed, clapping Felix on the shoulder. “Just make sure you won’t smell too much of it when I come back.”
Submitting himself to his doom then, he turned on his heel and slowly made his way to where the group of  boys sat near the sofa, giving them a half-hearted wave.
“Why were you hanging around that Felix guy?” Yeonjun asked once Soobin had reached their circle. “Did he blackmail you or something?”
Soobin frowned, pushing his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “He’s my friend.”
Yeonjun rolled his eyes, brushing a hand through his perfectly-straightened ebony locks. “Sure he is. Tell me, do you see every kid you find on the streets as some sort of personal charity project? Or is it just Felix and—what was her name—” He snapped his fingers then before he said, “Y/N, right?”
Soobin didn’t respond—well, it was more like he couldn’t respond. By nature he was a very passive being, but nothing drew him closer to bouts of anger than when the people he cared about were being insulted right before him.
Especially when it came to you.
Yet, as much as he wanted to tell Yeonjun off or give him a nice shove into the smoke-stained walls, words failed him. They always did. Perhaps this was why you had abandoned him all those years ago. Nobody knew him better than you did, so of course you were able to see what he truly was beneath all the expensive clothes and nervous laughter—a coward.
He figured that he’d probably have left himself too.
“Drink up, buttercup.” The chipper voice that belonged to the other Choi in the small gathering of socialites, Choi Beomgyu, thrust a plastic red cup towards Soobin’s chest. 
He shook his head, throwing another wavering smile in his direction. “No thanks. I don’t drink.”
Yeonjun rolled his eyes. “Of course you don’t. Why are you even here then?”
Once again, Soobin chose silence as his only response. He swallowed, patting the front pocket of his denim jacket. As the group of boys began conversing once more, he couldn’t help but let his eyes wander around the room, searching every drunken face for the features that belonged to you, trying to hear your name in every conversation, desperate for your voice to break through the blasting music and shouting voices.
“Who ya looking for there, Big Choi?” Soobin grimaced at the nickname. He was skinny, but incredibly tall, and nobody would let him forget that. “Big Choi” was one of his most common nicknames among the elitists. He despised it, but of course, he would never voice that aloud.
He glanced at Beomgyu and smiled nervously again, shaking his head. “Nobody.”
His eyes met Yeonjun’s and he gulped yet again as the latter eyed him with suspicion. It wasn’t as though he had anything to hide, but something about Yeonjun’s calculating gaze made his skin crawl.
He needed to escape. Just for a moment, at least.
“I’ll be right back. Going to find some water.”
He slipped out of the living room then, apologizing profusely to each couple he accidentally bumped into, bowing in remorse to each person’s toes his big feet happened to stumble over. He ached to be by Felix’s side—the stoned skateboarder had become somewhat of a security blanket to the taller of the duo—but his blonde friend was nowhere to be seen.
After snagging a bottle of water from the kitchen, Soobin managed to slip into an empty bathroom. He slammed the door shut and wasted no time in locking it. Letting out the biggest sigh of relief, he closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the door, taking a big gulp of the ice cold water.
He set the bottle on the counter and carefully reached into the front pocket of his jacket, his fingers finding the piece of paper he had been storing there all evening. He pulled it out and let his eyes wander over his middle school creation. It was a big heart, cut out from a scrap piece of red construction paper. Scrawled across it in his eight-grade handwriting were the words, Be mine this Valentine’s! His name was etched at the bottom, and at the very top, delicately printed in hot pink glitter glue, your name was written as well.
He had planned to give this to you four years ago on Valentine’s day. Everything had been planned out perfectly; he was to pick you up on his old, trusty bike. It wasn’t really made for two people, but the two of you had fashioned a makeshift extra seat for you to sit upon whenever you went places together. 
He wanted to take you to the Dairy Shack, which was the local ice cream shop where the two of you spent the most time together. You always got a large chocolate shake to share, playing a quick game of rock, paper, scissors to decide who got to eat the cherry on top. He was going to order a shake and specially ask for two cherries that time, and planned to give both of them to you before he would bravely present you with the handmade card he had spent all day working on.
However, when he waited for you outside your house that day, the red dusk turned to pitch black night, and you never stepped foot out your door.
He had even gone up to your door a few times and knocked, but there was no answer. Eventually he pedalled off into the night, back to his house. He was disappointed, of course, but more worried than anything else. He had hoped you weren’t sick.
But when he saw you at school the next day, he knew that hadn’t been the case.
And when you ignored him calling your name as you passed by him in the hallways, he knew that something had drastically changed.
For weeks, Soobin was in great turmoil as he replayed your last few encounters together before you had stood him up. Perhaps you were angry that he had won the last few games of rock, paper, scissors? If he had known, he would have given you all the cherries for the rest of time if it meant you would still talk to him. He didn’t care about them—he cared about you.
He missed you.
And as weeks turned to months, and months turned to years, you still barely spoke to him, and he missed you more and more. The best friend he had wanted to take a step closer to had taken a thousand steps back from him, and he still had no idea why.
But that night, he was determined to find out.
Well, if he could muster up the courage to get a single word out, of course.
He folded the heart back up and stuck it back in his pocket, taking a deep breath as he observed himself in the fogged-up mirror. He fixed his bright blue hair that Felix had helped him bleach and dye, making sure the pieces fell over the corners of his eyes just right. He straightened his white turtleneck and cuffed the sleeves of his denim jacket until he was at least somewhat content with his appearance.
“You can do this, Soobs,” He told himself, adjusting his big round glasses further up the bridge of his nose. “That’s what Felix would say.”
“Hey, rich boy!” A loud scream came from outside the bathroom door, accompanied by harsh knocking that sent Soobin stumbling backwards until he fell in the shower, pulling the curtains down with him.
“Hurry up in there! I’m about to piss myself!”
Soobin let out a shaky sigh, scrambling to his feet as he rushed to fix the curtain he had torn down with his clumsiness. “Sorry,” he mumbled, though he doubted the person on the other side of the door could hear him.
He realized then with an ever growing dread that it would be a miracle if he survived the night long enough to even find you, but it would take the work of God himself for him to actually speak to you.
He figured it was time for him to start praying.
YOU KNEW IT WAS A MISTAKE TO LET JEN DO YOUR MAKEUP.
When she had stopped you on your way out the door with a compact of bright purple eyeshadow, you had turned her down right away. No way in all of creation were you walking in a party with such an atrocious color caked up to your brow bone.
“How can you say it’s gonna look bad if you haven’t even let me try?” Jen had asked.
You had given her a once-over, your lips pressed into a thin line. “If it’s gonna look anything like the way you do your own makeup, I’m gonna have to pass.”
After that snide remark, she had threatened to fire you if you didn’t let her apply the makeup. And so you obliged, though you didn’t have much of a choice.
The booming sounds of the party hit your ears before you had even reached the lawn. Screaming teens—well, there were probably some adults thrown in there as well—and the sound of music spilled through the open windows of the home. Couples and singles alike were scattered throughout the perfectly kept lawn that was now littered with empty cups and other assortments of garbage.
You looked down at your patchwork jeans and pink sweater, certain that you would be underdressed compared to the rest of the partygoers. But from the looks of things, as you carefully squeezed your way through the front door and into the home, everyone was probably too wasted to even notice your arrival, let alone care about your looks.
You caught a glimpse of your face in the hallway mirror, cringing at the sight of your eyeshadow. You had tried to wipe some of it away before arriving, but it simply smudged, giving you quite the shocking smoky, purple eye look. For someone who didn’t even know the difference between a paintbrush and a makeup brush, it was a bold look, to say the least.
If Soobin saw you looking like this, he’d probably have a heart attack.
Soobin.
In the midst of all your frantic preparation, you had nearly forgotten about the main reason why you had planned to avoid this party at all costs. With a quick glance around the room, you realized that he was nowhere to be seen. You wouldn’t have been surprised if he hadn’t shown up at all. He was never a fan of parties, anyway.
You crossed your arms over your chest and slowly slipped past the couples crowding the hallway with their limbs intertwined, mouths practically swallowing one another whole, until you reached the living room. Surprisingly, it was less crowded in here than you thought it might be. A few minglers were scattered about the room’s perimeter, but they all kept away from the center of the room, which was occupied by none other than Choi Yeonjun and all his brainless, rich-boy worshippers. You quickly scanned the group, not able to make out Soobin among them. When you realized he wasn’t there, you were partly relieved and partly disappointed. If was to be anywhere at this party, it would probably be with these guys.
With a quick turn on your heel, you planned to make your way out of the living room before Yeonjun could see you. The last thing you wanted was for the boy with a bruised ego to see you, regardless of whether or not he had been the one to invite you.
“Y/N? You came?”
Too late.
Plastering a forced grin to your face, you slowly turned to face Yeonjun, who had just called your name. He was eyeing you with slight surprise, but soon, a smirk slipped across his lips as he motioned for you to come over. You had to hold back your sigh, wishing there was some way for you to get out of this situation. It was all Jen’s fault that you had to show up in the first place. You decided you were going to demand an extra ten cents be added to your raise the next time you saw your pushy boss.
“Hey Yeonjun,” you said once you had walked over to him. “I figured I’d stop by for a minute or two, since you were kind enough to invite me.”
He smirked, glancing at a few of his friends. They shared a knowing laugh with one another, but the meaning of it was lost to you. You wanted nothing more than to get away from them, but that wasn’t an option.
“You’re too busy to go out with me to a basketball game but free enough to come to a party, huh?” He asked.
You blinked, digging your nails into your arms. “I’m sorry?”
“It’s fine, really,” He drawled, swirling his plastic cup of beer in his hand. “You didn’t think I’d be upset or anything did you? I only asked you out because I was dared to shack up with you. But I’m guessing you already knew that, since you’re so smart and all.”
Your eyes went wide, but you managed to control the rest of your expression. It was just like you had guessed—Yeonjun had invited you to the party with the sole purpose of making a scene.
If you survived the night, Jen was never going to hear the end of it.
“You’re not gonna say anything?” He asked, pushing himself to his feet. You could tell by the slight stumble in his step and his hooded eyes that he had quite a bit to drink. He took a step towards you, causing you to back up immediately. Your back hit the wall, and you placed your palms against it as Yeonjun towered over you. 
“It’s okay, sweetheart. I know why you’re here anyways.” He leaned forward, his lips hovering near your ear. “You’re here to see Soobin, aren’t you? Since he’s the only one here willing to waste his time on filth like you.”
Your blood boiled, and you had to clench your fists at your sides to control your anger.
“Don’t,” You seethed, “Call me that.”
“Call you what? Filth? Or sweetheart? Why, is that something good old Binnie used to call you—”
He never got to finish that sentence, because with one big burst of anger, you stomped on his toe as hard as you could with your worn-out platform sneaker.
“What the hell!” He screeched, drawing the attention of several others in the room. His outburst even caused a few of the couples to pull away from each other’s faces long enough to eavesdrop.
Before you could even say anything back, lukewarm liquid was splashed up in your face, burning your eyes and nose. You gasped, running your hands over your eyes to see Yeonjun with his now empty cup of beer pointed towards you.
“Think twice before you act out against me next time, sweetheart. Never forget your place.”
Tears of anger burned in your eyes, and you scanned the room to see several people exchanging whispers and giggles as they glanced in your direction. You pushed past Yeonjun and quickly made your way out the back door of the house, unable to stand the humiliation for a moment longer.
Soobin arrived in the living room just in time to see you leave.
He wasted no time in rushing towards Yeonjun, grabbing hold of his arm. “Yeonjun, was that Y/N?” He asked, eyes quickly taking in the puddle of alcohol on the floor and the empty cup in Yeonjun’s hand. “What happened?”
“Nothing you need to worry your pretty blue head about, Big Choi. I just put her in her place is all.”
Soobin’s eyes narrowed. “What do you mean you ‘put her in her place?’”
Yeonjun laughed, giving Soobin a nonchalant pat on the back. “Just drop it, would you? It has nothing to do with you.”
“What did you say, Yeonjun?”
Yeonjun was growing irritated now. He huffed out a breath, crossing his arms over his chest. “I said it has nothing to do with you, Soobin. I know you like to hang around people like that pothead Felix, but the rest of us live in the real world, where we’d rather not waste our time with those who have no future anyways. I bet he’s the one that got you to dye your hair that god awful blue, isn’t he?”
Soobin bit the inside of his cheek. He so badly wished to rip Yeonjun to shreds then and there. If he had Felix’s courage, the cocky bastard would have been knocked to the ground ages ago. But if there was one thing Soobin was sure he could never be, it was brave. And so, despite his rage, he remained silent, his eyes practically burning a hole through Yeonjun’s chest from how intently he was glaring.
It seemed as though Yeonjun was about to say something, but his eyes landed on the bit of red that peeked through the front pocket of Soobin’s denim jacket. Before Soobin had time to defend himself, Yeonjun had reached forward and snatched it from his pocket, revealing the large paper heart—his valentine for you.
“So this is why you care so much,” Yeonjun said, laughing as his eyes scanned the glittery words that decorated the page. “You want her to be your valentine.”
“Give that back,” Soobin said quietly, his hands beginning to shake.
Yeonjun instead lifted his eyes to Soobin, gave him a sickly sweet grin, and ripped the heart straight down the middle. He let the two pieces fall from his hands to the ground, and with them Soobin’s heart went also.
“You’re really willing to try and go against me, and for what? For the sake of a girl who can’t even afford a new pair of jeans and a boy that smokes his life away in the bathroom stalls?” Yeonjun took a slow step towards Soobin, his eyes glinting with a sinister determination. “You may be rich, Soobin, but if you choose to lower yourself to their standards, you may as well be dirt poor just like they are.”
With his hands clenched into tight fists, his glasses sliding down his nose, and his heart quite literally in two pieces on the floor below him, Soobin decided that he had had enough.
“I’d much rather be associated with people who are kind and have actual depth to their character than be lumped together with a bunch of pricks like you with no real personality—because that’s something you can’t buy with daddy’s paycheck.”
He had to physically restrain himself from slapping his hand across his own mouth in shock. It was as if the spirit of Felix himself had possessed him to say such harsh things. He wondered where Felix was then, wishing more than ever before to have his best friend by his side as he began to tremble from either the rush of adrenaline that coursed through his veins, or from fear. Or perhaps it was both.
He didn’t have time to ponder it any longer before Yeonjun’s fist collided with his nose, resulting in a sickening crack as pain echoed throughout his face in tidal waves.
He stumbled backward as people began to shout, raising his hand to his nose and gasping when he saw that his palm was covered in blood. 
Beomgyu had his arms wrapped around Yeonjun, who was desperately trying to lunge towards Soobin once again.
“Knock it off, Yeonjun!” Beomgyu shouted, pushing the elder back. “His dad is on the school board! Are you trying to get expelled?”
Beomgyu looked over his shoulder at the still stunned Soobin, who was gaping at the blood that now stained his once white turtleneck. 
“Get lost, Soobin,” Beomgyu said, to which Soobin only blinked in reply, his ears ringing.
“Now!”
Head spinning, Soobin picked up the two halves of his paper heart, stuffed them into his jeans, and stumbled out the same door he had seen you go through just minutes before. After checking to make sure his glasses were still intact—they were, thankfully—he shook his head in an effort to clear his mind of the static, eyes scanning the front lawn looking for any trace of you.
It didn’t take long for his eyes to spot you among the now dwindling crowd of partygoers. Your bright pink sweater stood out against the darkness, so he was able to recognize you even with your back towards him. He sniffed, wiping the back of his hand against his dripping nose as he slowly made his way to where you sat on the curb, your feet planted on the asphalt street. He wished that he looked a bit more presentable—when he played this scene out in his head over the years in which he would finally reunite with you, he never imagined himself dazed and covered in blood.
Desperate times called for desperate measures, he supposed.
When he reached you, he simply stood beside you in silence for a moment, unsure of what to say. He could tell that you sensed his presence, but you refused to look up at him as you kept your face buried in your hands. He could have sworn he heard a few muffled sobs slip through your fingers, but of course, he wasn’t going to bring that up.
Eventually he decided to slip his jacket off of his shoulders, leaning down to drape it over you. You still kept your head down as he sat beside you on the curb, but he watched you grip the jacket and pull it tighter around your body. He smiled a bit, holding the collar of his turtleneck against his throbbing nose.
“Thank you,” you muttered, wiping your hand across your eyes. You finally looked over at him, and when you did, you couldn’t hold back your gasp. “My God Soobin, what happened to your face?”
“Oh, well, I might have gotten punched,” He said quickly, trying to wave off your concern. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Punched? By who?”
He looked down at the ground, sniffing as a drop of blood hit the pavement. “Yeonjun,” he muttered under his breath.
“I’m sorry, did you just say Yeonjun? Are you insane? Why on earth would you butt heads with the Choi Yeonjun?”
Soobin didn’t say anything in response, he simply stared at you, eyes wide with beer dripping off the ends of your hair, makeup smeared across your face, your sweater stained down the front. It didn’t seem to take long for you to put the pieces together, as the shock left your face and was replaced with something akin to guilt.
“Oh,” You said, looking back down at your shoes.
“So she knows that I did it all for her,” Soobin thought.
For some reason, the idea of that both terrified and excited him.
A second later, he glanced over to see you ripping one of the hand-sewed patches of fabric off your jeans, leaving a square of your skin exposed to the chilly night air. You leaned towards him, pushing his hand away from his nose so you could use the patch to clean up some of the blood on and around his puffy red nose.
“Y/N, your pants!” He exclaimed, trying to push your hand away. “They’re ruined!”
“I’m not worried about my pants, you idiot,” You said, swatting his hand away as you continued to press the cloth against his skin. “You got punched in the face because of me, this is the least I could do.”
“That was my choice though,” He muttered, although he stopped trying to resist your touch. He ignored the way his heart thrummed harder in his chest, hoping that you couldn’t hear.
“Well, this is my choice too.” Your eyes flicked to his for a brief moment, your bottom lip pulled between your teeth. “Why did you do it, by the way?”
“Do what?”
“Stand up to Yeonjun for me and get a nasty nosebleed as a result.”
“Oh.” He blinked slowly, keeping his eyes fixed on yours. “Just ‘cause.”
“Because . . . ?”
“Because of you.” He blurted, causing your hand to go still against him. He swallowed his fear, braving the best smile that he could. “Just you. That was my only reason.”
You didn’t say anything as your hand fell from his face, the cloth clutched between your fingers. The anxiety he had tried his best to suppress came rushing up all at once, and he was surprised that his ears didn’t begin to squeal like a tea kettle from all the pressure. 
“Y/N,” He said, gently placing his hand over yours despite how his fingers trembled. “Why did you pull away from me?”
“What?”
“Four years ago. Why did you stop talking to me?”
You were quiet for a moment, digging into the ground with the toe of your sneaker. Soobin held his breath until you finally replied with, “I was afraid.”
“Afraid? Of what?”
“We were getting older, Binnie,” You said, and his heart skipped at the use of your old nickname for him. “You and I, we’re from very different walks of life. You get to hang out with people like Yeonjun, whereas I get a cup of beer poured all over my face just for existing, and you get a fist to the nose for trying to stand up for me. We’re from different sides of the track, one might say.”
“So?” Soobin asked, his hand tightening around yours. “Did you really think that would affect us that much, Y/N?”
You frowned, glancing down at his hand over yours.
“I thought you’d be embarrassed of me,” You said, your voice barely above a whisper.
“Embarrassed?” Soobin’s eyes went wide as he gripped your hand tighter still, pulling it into his lap. “Y/N, I would never, ever be embarrassed of you. Besides, have you seen my best friend? He’s on a first name basis with the principal because of how often he gets written up for smoking behind the school. If I’m not embarrassed of him, why would I ever be embarrassed of you?”
You laughed, wiping the back of your hand across your eyes once more. “I guess I was worried about nothing, huh?” You sniffed, giving his hand a squeeze. “I’m sorry, Soobin.”
He shook his head, squeezing your hand right back. “Don’t apologize. You’re here now, that’s what matters. Do think we could—you know—”
“Pick up where we left off?” You smiled, nodding vigorously. “I’d like that very much, Binnie.”
He beamed then, almost pinching himself to be sure that he was not dreaming, but the pain in his nose was real enough to remind him of that on its own. He jumped to his feet, pulling you right up with him.
“In that case, how about we finally go on that Valentine’s date I had planned all the way back then?”
“Date?” You asked, a brow raised. “Is it really considered a date if two friends are just hanging out?”
He didn’t respond as he pulled you along behind him towards the bushes where he and Felix had hidden his bike. He crouched down and moved the branches aside, feeling his heart drop to his stomach when he realized that his bike was, in fact, no longer there.
He shot up, turning to face you with eyes wide. “Felix—that bastard took my bike!”
You were quiet for a moment, but then, you burst into boisterous laughter, leaving Soobin utterly confused.
“It’s not funny, Y/N!” He whined, shoving your shoulder lightly. “I was supposed to take you to the Dairy Shack on my bike!”
“It is funny,” You said between bursts of laughter. “Only you would get such a rusty old piece of metal stolen from you.”
He pushed his lips out in a pout, sliding his glasses up his sore nose. “It’s a good bike, don’t make fun of it.”
You grinned, interlocking his fingers with yours, which was enough to instantly wipe the pout right off his face. 
“Let’s just walk, Binnie. The Dairy Shack isn’t that far anyways.”
You were right; the walk to your favorite milkshake place was very close to the house where the party had occurred. Although Felix stealing his bike had thrown an obvious wrench in his plans, it was a minor hiccup, and one he could most definitely handle. Besides, he wouldn’t have to see Felix until the next day anyways. He could deal with his frustration then.
At least, that’s what he thought anyways, until the two of you spotted Felix at the skatepark on your way to the dairy shack.
Soobin’s eyes took in the deplorable sight before him—from where he stood on the dimly lit sidewalk, he could see Felix and a girl he had never seen before, their faces nearly pressed together, and most importantly, with his bike discarded a few yards away from them.
“Soobin,” You said, tugging on his arm. “They look like they’re busy, let’s just go—”
But Soobin, who had little patience when it came to Felix messing up his plans, didn’t let you finish before he screamed, “Give me back my freaking bike!”
You had to hold back your snort of laughter at his choice of words. Even when he was trying to sound angry, he was undeniably adorable.
Soobin watched as Felix startled, clutching his spliff between his fingers as he glared daggers back at his friend. Soobin gulped, trying not to let his fear show on his face. What did he have to be afraid of, anyways? He was the victim of thievery, and his best friend was the offender.
Felix took a big step towards him, but he paused, his eyes landing on your interlocked hands. Soobin glanced down as well, his face growing furiously warm as he realized the situation he had gotten himself into. 
He decided to divert the subject before it could even be brought up by saying, “I can’t believe you stole my bike! All this time I was trying to hide it from strangers, but you, my best friend! I should’ve been hiding it from you!”
Soobin noticed Felix’s female companion step off the skateboard and walk over in his direction, and for a second he felt bad for possibly ruining her night with his best friend. However, his frustration was more prominent in the moment as he fixed his gaze back on his best friend, who had fixed a mischievous smirk upon his face that made warning sirens blare in Soobin’s head right away.
“Now, now, buddy,” Felix said, his voice calm and carefree as ever. It probably had something to do with what he had just smoked, but Soobin didn’t care all that much. “You’re just gonna have to let me borrow it for a little longer.”
Soobin nearly laughed at the audacity of such a statement. “You are gonna give me the bike, or—”
“How about this, Soobs?” Soobin’s lips clamped shut at his friend’s interruption, as the thief in question gestured with his joint to where Soobin’s fingers were locked with yours. “You let me keep your bike for the night, and I don’t tell your dad about you hanging out with the opposite gender.”
Unable to control yourself, you let out a big laugh. Soobin would have felt betrayed, but he was more terrified than anything else at the idea of his father finding out that he was taking a girl out without his permission. He would be grounded for weeks—no, months.
“You wouldn’t.”
Felix’s lips curled up even more into a twisted grin that Soobin wished he had the guts to slap off his face. “God, just imagine the look on Mr. Choi’s face. Imagine him finding out about your premarital hand holding.”
No. Not the hand holding.
Soobin almost felt faint, but he steeled himself to the best of his abilities as he cleared his throat. “One night, Lix,” he warned. “If I don’t see it on my porch in the morning, you’ll be sorry!”
“Oh, I’m so scared,” Felix teased. His expression changed a moment later though, when he finally noticed Soobin’s swollen nose and blood-stained turtleneck. “Wait, Soobs, the hell happened to you?”
Soobin, however, had already taken his first steps away from the skatepark, pulling you along behind him. “I’ll tell you later, bud. Enjoy your spliff with that kind girl who you probably don’t deserve!”
“Hey!”
Soobin couldn’t help but laugh as he swung your interlocked hands together, grinning as you let out a laugh as well. The anger that had seeped through him seemed to melt away in an instant as the two of you continued your journey to the Dairy Shack.
“Would your dad really be that upset if he found out about this?” You asked.
Soobin grimaced. “We should probably wait til next year to tell him about this outing. Or maybe the year after that.”
When the two of you had finally reached the Dairy Shack, you waited outside for him while he went in to order your drink. A large chocolate milkshake, with two straws, just like you used to get every time before.
When he had the drink in hand, he walked back outside and sat down beside you on the curb, smiling as you wrapped his jacket tighter around your shoulders. You smiled back up at him, your eyes creasing from the expression. Your smile had always struck him right to his core; he had missed seeing it every day.
He hoped he could see it every morning and every night from that day onward. There was no way he would let you go this time.
He just had to muster up the courage to grab hold of you first.
“You know what, Binnie, you turned out to be a lot taller than I thought you ever would be,” you said as you took one of the straws from his hands. “You’re actually enormous. It’s shocking.”
“Should I find that offensive? It sounds kinda like an insult.”
“Take it however you will,” You teased, leaning over as he popped the plastic lid off the milkshake. He grabbed the cherry by the stem and held it towards you.
“What are you doing?” You asked, holding out your fist. “We have to rock, paper, scissors for it. Remember?”
Soobin laughed as he shook his head. “I’m giving it to you this time. It’s what I planned to do all those years ago, when I asked you to hang out on Valentine’s.”
You seemed to be taken aback, but you simply shrugged as you plucked the cherry from his hand and pulled it from the stem with your teeth, glancing back over at him. It was silent for a moment, but then your eyes landed on the pocket of his jeans, where you could see a bit of red paper poking out. You leaned over even further, reaching your hand out to snatch the paper.
“What are you—hey! Give that back!”
Soobin desperately tried to take his Valentine back from you, but it was too late. You held both halves of what used to be a whole in your hands, your eyes scanning the words as you pieced them together.
“Soobin . . .”
He held his breath. Had his act of young love left you completely speechless? Were you so touched that you would burst into tears?
“This looks like a middle schooler made it.”
He let out the breath in the form of a long, long sigh.
“That’s because it was made by a middle schooler,” He said as he set the milkshake down beside him. “I made it back in the eighth grade. I planned to give it to you that Valentine’s.”
“Oh.” You ran your finger along the card’s surface, the smallest smile creeping across your lips. “Well in that case, it’s not half bad. Why’s it ripped though?”
“Ah—well, Yeonjun . . .”
You nodded, taking another glance at his swollen nose. “No need to elaborate. It seems you had a lot planned for our Valentine’s Day back then. Is there anything else you wanted to do?”
His mouth went dry at that, and he wished that you couldn’t see his face because he was sure that his expression was quite comical. All the way back then, four years prior, he had in fact planned the perfect, ideal day in his head. Picking you up on his bike, giving you the cherry from his milkshake, and presenting you with his hand made card.
There was only one thing left on his list.
He didn’t move at first, willing himself to have enough courage to even look back in your direction. But when he finally did allow his eyes to meet yours, he felt his shoulders relax and his heart rate became more manageable.
He took a deep breath, leaned forward, and pressed his lips against your cheek.
He lingered there for only a moment before he pulled back, daring to pry one of his eyes open to take in the look on your face.
The disappointment was palpable—from the way your brows furrowed together and the way you pursed your lips. His stomach dropped, and he scooted the tiniest bit away from you.
“I’m sorry,” He blurt out, his face growing warmer by the second. “I shouldn’t have done that, I just—”
“Is that all?”
Your question stopped him mid-ramble, his eyes growing wide. “Huh?”
“Is that all?” You repeated, closing the distance between you that he had created. “It’s Valentine’s Day, Soobin. I think we can do better than a peck on the cheek.”
The implications of what you were saying didn’t register with him right away, but when it finally did, he could have sworn his heart began to beat loud enough for the entire town to hear. His hand curled into a fist as he gripped the denim of his jeans. He leaned forward, keeping his eyes open just enough to watch you as he brought his lips closer to yours. He could feel your eyes on him all the while, causing his heart to pound fiercer still within him.
When he was just a breath away, he whispered, “Can you close your eyes?”
“Hm?”
He lifted his hand, gently placing it over your eyes. He leaned closer then, filling the space between you both as his lips met yours. You tasted vaguely of cherry and strawberry slice soda, and he found it quite nice the way his lips seemed to fit perfectly against your own. As the seconds drew on, your hands slipped around his neck, pulling him closer. He slowly let his hand fall from your eyes, tracing lines with the tips of his fingers down your cheek before he cradled your jaw, letting his lips part just enough to taste the sweet sugar on your lips once more.
He thought in a haze that it was a good thing he didn’t drink anything at the party, as kissing you was proving to be intoxicating enough on its own.
When you finally pulled away, leaving your forehead resting against his, he let his eyes flutter open enough to see the euphoric smile that adorned your features. He grinned as well, gently running his thumb against your cheek.
“I think that back then, I had planned to ask you this before kissing you,” He whispered, “But Y/N, will you be my Valentine?”
Instead of a spoken answer, you laughed, leaning forward to capture his lips with yours once again, and that was the only answer Choi Soobin would ever need.
-
WHEN SOOBIN ARRIVED HOME THAT NIGHT, HE WENT STRAIGHT FOR THE TELEPHONE.
It was kept upstairs at night right outside his parent’s door, to keep himself and his brother from using it in the late hours. Of course, this never stopped Soobin from sneaking it downstairs to his room in the basement to make late night calls to Felix.
And that particular evening, he really needed to give Felix an update.
He grabbed the phone from the small table in the hallway, carefully tiptoeing towards the basement stairs. Before he had even taken the first step down, the bathroom door creaked open. Soobin whipped his head around to see his brother Kai standing there, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he raised a brow at his older brother.
Soobin froze, blinking slowly as he realized the incriminating situation he found himself in.
“Please don’t tell mom,” He whispered, his eyes pleading with his younger brother.
Kai nodded, although Soobin wasn’t quite convinced that the boy was even coherent enough to understand what was going on. Soobin offered a rushed thank you, and ventured his first step down the stairs.
Well, he tried, anyways, and ended up missing the first step. He tumbled down the rest of the stairs, landing on his butt at the very end.
He winced in pain, glad to see that the phone was still intact in his hands. He glanced over his shoulders to see Kai staring down the stairway with wide eyes, his lips parted in shock. Soobin quickly put a finger to his lips, begging his brother for silence.
Kai simply shook his head and walked away, allowing Soobin the freedom to breathe out a sigh of relief.
He quickly ran to his bedroom and shut the door, collapsing onto his bed with the phone as his breaths came in ragged gasps as an aftereffect from his tumble down the stairs. He figured he should have dialed Felix’s number right away, but he couldn’t help but brush his fingers against his lips, remembering the feeling and taste of having yours pressed against them.
He was so caught up in his daze that he didn’t notice Felix calling until the third ring.
He picked it up, breathing heavily into the speaker as he rubbed a sore spot on his lower back. 
“Please tell me that panting is from running a marathon, and not what I think you’ve successfully tried.”
Soobin nearly gagged, holding the phone away from his face as he coughed, flustered by his friend's crude words. He brought the phone back to his face and said, “No, you sicko, I just fell down the stairs.”
“How the hell did you manage that with those long legs?”
“That’s not important, Lix!” He laid back onto his pillows then, twirling the phone cord in his hands as he stared up at his ceiling, the memories of his adventure with you that night flooding his mind once more. He couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear as he said, “Look, I need to tell you something important.”
If he didn’t know any better, he would have thought that he could hear the smile in Felix’s voice too as his friend replied.
“Well buddy, I got something to tell you too.”
1K notes · View notes
sarcasticallybee · 3 years ago
Text
Loki x reader
Live action
"Tony!" You yelled as you stormed into the living room.
    "Some guy is here! A tall one with black hair?" You heard the man scoff behind you but ignored him.
   Tony entered the room and glared at the male who was now standing next you.
   "Loki." Tony greeted coldly.
  "Tony." The man, Loki, replied.
  "Y/n." You huffed pointing at yourself.
   Tony turned to you apologetically.
"Sorry I didn't tell you we were having a guest. He's here on house arrest." Tony explained gesturing at the man.
   "Right. Okay, but Tony we've talked about this. I work for your team and I need to stay informed." You sighed stepping towards him to straighten his collar.
    "I know y/n but to be fair he's not very memorable!" Tony defended and you glared at him.
    Tugging harshly on his collar you yanked him down so he was eye to eye with you.
   "I don't care how memorable he is. I expect you to tell me these things and to be professional." Tony gulped but nodded.
    "Right. Gotcha." He choked out and you released his collar.
   Turning around you faced your guest, Loki. You'd heard about him before, none of it good. However you'd give him the benefit of the doubt. He was from Asgard and the brother of Thor. Those were the only things you knew for sure. Everything else you'd have to learn from him. Facing him you introduced yourself.
    "Hello Loki. I am y/n l/n of Midgard as I've heard Thor refer to it." You held out your hand to him.
Eyeing you warily he held his hand out as well but Tony yanked you back.
   "Your gloves." He warned you and you blinked. You totally forgot.
   "Oh. Right." You shook your head pulling a pair of gloves out.
    Why the gloves? Because you had the ability of reading emotions through touch. Skin to skin contact gave you a rush of emotions from that person. Good or bad whatever they were feeling you felt it just as much as they did.
    Tugging them on you reached out again.
   "Sorry about that. I didn't want to read your emotions without your consent." You explained nodding to the gloves.
   Loki seemed surprised but took your hand, shaking it.
   "Noted. I am Loki of Asgard." He introduced bowing slightly.
   You quirked a brow at that in amusement and smiled.
   "Nice to meet you. I'll set up a room for you as soon as possible but until then you may stay on my floor if you so choose. Although I'm sure Thor would be more than pleased to have you stay with him." You informed him easily.
   He winced at the mention of his brother but nodded.
   "I may take you up on that offer." He smirked and Tony snarled behind you.
   "Y/n I really don't think-" you turned to glare at your boss.
   "Tony. I believe it's in your best interest to stop before you begin. This could've been avoided had you actually told me what was going on but you didn't. That being said unless Loki chooses otherwise, he will stay with me." You crossed your arms and raised a brow, daring Tony to challenge you.
    The male frowned but just grumbled as he walked away. Smirking you turned to the god.
    "Okay. Now that we've taken care of that. Would you like to stay with me or your brother?" You inquired smiling.
   "You, if the offer still stands. My brother can be overbearing." Loki grimaced.
   "Of course. Follow me." You chirped walking over to the elevator.
    "We're on floor 8(first initial). It stands for what floor level it is and who it belongs to. When we get you set up I think you'll be either floor 9 or 6. Unless you choose to stay on my floor which you're more than welcome to do." You grinned at him before the elevator doors slid open and FRIDAY told you you'd arrived.
   Stepping out you led Loki through your living room and into the guest room.
    "You can stay here for now. You'll have your own bathroom, too. We can get you a different comforter set later but until then I hope you don't mind the (f/c) set." You blushed lightly before entering the room yourself and straightening it up.
    "I'll be right across the hall if you need anything. I'll set up a passcode to my floor that only you and I know until the others calm down. I'm sure they're not thrilled you're here. That way they won't bother you." You told him as you breezed past him into the kitchen.
    "Everything in here is open to you if you want it: coffee, tea, juice. I've got a lot." You opened the fridge to prove the point.
    Fifteen minutes later you'd finished showing him around so you led him to the couch.
    He'd kept a straight face for most of the tour so when you were done you bit your lip.
   "If there's anything you need just let me know. The others may be a bit harsh but they mean well most of the time." You laughed nervously as you flopped onto the couch yourself. Pulling a pillow to your chest, you hugged it before letting out a sigh.
   "Okie dokie. I have to get back to work, make sure the others didn't burn down the main floor. You can lounge around here until you feel comfortable enough to leave. If you need me just tell FRIDAY. He'll let me know." Standing up you left to check on the others.
   Tony had probably already told them and they were probably planning an ambush on your apartment at this very moment.
    Stepping into the elevator you spoke.
   "FRIDAY I'd like to set up a security measure. No one but me and Loki can enter the apartment or floor without exclusive permission. Understand?"
    "Yes miss l/n. Security measure is now in place." The robotic voice responded.
  Nodding the doors opened with a ding.
    Stepping into the main area you noticed everyone in the living room, tension spilling into the halls.
    "You let him come here!? After everything that happened in New York!" You heard Nat yell.
    "I didn't have much of a choice!" Tony groaned.
    "He won't do any harm! He's here in peace!" Thor reassured miserably.
   "Well he should leave in pieces!" Clint grumbled.
    Steve was silent as he sat on the couch with his arms crossed, Bucky beside him.
   Bruce was about to intervene but you clapped loudly to get their attention.
   "Hello my fellow colleagues and friends. How about we play nice and not threaten our guest!" You chirped a little to sweetly.
   Everyone faced you but Nat stood up first.
   "Are you crazy y/n!? Letting that lunatic stay in your apartment!" She growled as she glared you down.
    Glaring back at her you crossed your arms.
    "Yes. I am crazy. We've been through this time and time again and I go to therapy once every two weeks for what you call crazy." You snarled at her and she took a slight step back.
    The word "crazy" was a touchy word for you. You'd been called many things in your life time. Crazy, a lunatic, a freak, and many other things because of what you could do.
   "Y/n I didn't mean- it's just he's dangerous!" She tried to back pedal but what was done was done.
   "Whatever Nat. Loki," you emphasized his name, "is staying with me. He will be until he decides to leave. You all will treat him like a person or I swear I will destroy you." You warned.
   "Are we clear?" You glanced around the room and jumped when Loki spoke up behind you.
   "I'd prefer to be treated like a god, but a person works too." He smirked.
    "Loki." You greeted nodding at him.
   "Lady Y/n." He greeted back.
Thor's jaw seemed to drop as he glanced between you two.
   Loki respecting a midguardian? It seemed impossible.
   "Look at him acting like he owns the place!" Clint started but stopped when you stepped toward him taking a glove off.
   "Barton. Did I not make myself clear earlier?" You asked stalking closer.
   The male stood up and ran behind the couch.
   "Y/n we can talk about this. Just put the glove back on!" He plead as he glanced at the others for help.
   Not only did you have the ability to read and feel emotions but you could also inflict and resurface them. Clint had been through this treatment before due to his attitude and he hated it.
   "Answer the question." You snapped and he ducked behind Thor.
   "You're clear. Crystal." He promised. He really wished he had his bow and some arrows on him right now.
   "Good." You smiled pulling the glove back on.
    "Now it is Saturday night so I do believe it's a movie night is it not?" You chirped clapping your hands together enthusiastically.
   Everyone nodded not daring to say otherwise. Tony had hired you because you could round everyone up and calm things down.
    "Wonderful. Shall we?" You asked and everyone agreed. Pulling out (f/m) you put it in and hit play.
   You sat next to Loki on the farthest end of the couch due to everyone's apprehensiveness.
    About an hour in you began to nod off. Your head leaned against Loki's shoulder as your hair fell into your face.
   Loki had jumped at the contact but relaxed when he realized he wasn't in danger. He stayed as still as possible as not to wake you up. Another half an hour later and the credits were rolling.
    Glancing down at you Loki lightly removed you from his shoulder, lying you down on the couch. Then he scooped you up to take you upstairs. Maybe this was out of character for him but you'd been kind.
   Once you were in his arms your head lolled into his shoulder. He laughed quietly as he carried you to the elevator.
   "Woah reindeer games. What do you think you're doing?" Tony questioned standing up.
  Loki stopped turning around, and lifting a brow at the man.
   "I'm taking Lady y/n to her room?" Loki raised his brow in confusion.
   "We can take her up." Steve argued but Loki snickered.
   "Go ahead and try." He shrugged passing you to Tony.
   Tony gave him a smug look as he walked to the elevator with you. Five minutes later he returned, you still soundly asleep in his arms.
    "FRIDAY won't let me in." He grumbled.
    "Yes I am aware. I'll take Lady y/n up to bed now." Loki grinned before taking you from Tony.
    "Goodnight." He nodded before walking to the elevator again.
   "Night guys." You yawned waking up just a little.
      Taking you to your room Loki tucked you in after helping you take care of your nightly routine.
    "Night Loki." You slurred sleepily before hugging a pillow into your chest.
     You slept soundly for about 3 hours before you awoke to red flashing and blaring alarms.
    Panicking you flopped out of your bed and onto the floor.
    "Loki!" You yelled as you stumbled into the hall. Loki was running down the hall to your room, stumbling into you as the building shook.
    "What's going on!?" You yelped when glass shattered a floor down.
    "This hasn't happened in 3 months!" You groaned as Loki helped you up.
   As his hand grabbed yours your head went blank for a moment. Loki was scared. He was blaming himself for the attack. He worried that someone from his past was here to hurt him. He was worried about you. He-
    You jumped when Loki pulled on you hand.
   "Are you alright, Lady y/n?" He asked and you glanced up at him.
   "I'm okay. You?" You asked stepping closer to him and pressing your bare hand to his face.
    All of the emotions he was feeling were negative. You urged a calm through your finger tips and felt his shoulders relax.
   Then he tensed up and yanked your hand away from him.
   "We need to go to the others. Find out what all this noise is about." He snapped dropping your hand.
    Swiftly he walked to the elevator and hit a button hoping to make it to the main floor.
   Sliding open the doors granted access and you were on your way. Then you weren't. Something thudded on top of the metal box and the lights flickered.
    You yelped as the elevator bounced and then stumbled into Loki's chest.
   "Sorry." You groaned and then looked up. Whatever was on the roof was walking back and forth trying to figure out how to get in.
    "Got any sneaky tricks up your sleeve?" You asked pushing yourself off of the man.
    "Maybe. Depends on what it is." He shrugged before walking over to the elevator doors.
   He inspected them for a moment before somehow prying them open. From where you stood you couldn't tell how he did it.
    "Open says me." He joked half heartedly.
    Great doors were open. Not so great you were stuck between floors.
    "Up or down?" Loki asked and you glanced at him.
   "Down. We need to get to the others."
    Nodding he crouched down and slid out through the opening, about a foot and a half wide and two feet high.
    He landed gracefully on the, you assumed, 6th floor.
    "Come on out." He called stepping away from the opening.
   Taking a deep breath you crouched to slide out the way he had but shrieked when the elevator bounced again and then the sound of screaming metal filled the small space. Glass rained down around you.
    Shaking the glass out of your hair you looked up and choked on a scream. An arm had punctured the top of the elevator.
    "Shit!" You yelped pushing yourself backwards towards the small exit.
    "Lady y/n what's going on?!" You heard Loki ask but you miscalculated how high you were and fell on your butt.
    "We have to go. Now!" You exclaimed grabbing his sleeve and running for a stair case.
    The man followed you with almost no complaint as you ran to the stairwell.
   "We need to get to the third floor." You huffed as you began to run down the stairs skipping a few at a time.  
    Loki nodded checking behind you every few moments. On the 4th floor you nearly toppled over the railing when you came face to face with a creature of some kind.
    "Holy shit!" You fell backwards and Loki leapt the railing, landing in front of you. Suddenly he had two daggers in his hands as he impaled the critter.
    "Okay thanks!" You breathed out and he held his hand out to you.
   "Try to be more aware of your surroundings." He suggested as he pulled you up.
    You nodded and he took the lead. You followed him to the third floor entrance and he cautiously opened the door. Inside the Avengers were battling it out.
    "We have to get upstairs. Y/n can't defend herself!" You heard Nat snarl as she attacked yet another enemy.
   It was probably stupid on your part but you cupped your hands over your mouth and shouted "I take offense to that!" at her.
   Everything stopped for a moment as everyone turned to face you and Loki face palmed.
    "Ignorant mortal." You heard him grumble.
   Then he swooped you up into his chest and began to 'dance' around your opponents. You yelped when an axe got a little too close.
    When you were beside the others Loki passed you on to Thor.
   "Protect the midguardian." Loki had demanded before looking to you.
"You, stay out of trouble!" He smirked before involving himself to the main battle.
    "I-" you started but cried out when Thor threw you up into the air.
  "Oh my god!" You shrieked as your stomach dropped. You know the feeling. Like going straight down on a roller coaster.
    You met Loki's wide eyes mid air and then you completed the fall straight into Tony's armored arms.
    "I'm going to have a heart attack." You wheezed as you tried to catch your breath.
    Tony laughed at you setting you down.
   "Try to stay out of danger, Chéri petite!" He warned before blasting off into a different direction.
    *Chéri petite should translate to little darling! Or in Google translates case darling little one!*
    You sucked in a breath before taking in your surroundings. No one was going to be able to protect you. Glancing around you noted a decorative sword on the other side of the room, so you sprinted towards it. You yelped when something, someone grabbed you though.
     Swiveling on your heel you turned and saw one of the creatures gripping your thigh. Shrieking you slammed your palm onto it's face and channeled your fear into it. The creature let out a miserable scream as it flinched back letting you go.
    You'd never used your power as a defence before but it did the job. Whipping back around you came face to face with a clone of Loki.
   "Shit!" You yelped and jumped in surprise when it stabbed at you.
    Stumbling back you fell onto your ass again and scrambled behind the couch as the clone threw a dagger at you.
    "Loki what the shit is this!?" You screamed and the man turned in surprise, glowering when he saw the clone.
   Sure he had the same ability but this was no clone of his.
   You let out another cry when the couch was shoved away and 3 of the critters surrounded you. Turning to your team members you smirked, although it looked more like a grimace.
    "Guys! This is not what I had in mind for movie night but talk about live action!" You giggled before turning to your opponents.
   "Give me a minute to hype myself up?" You asked and then yelped when one of the things jumped at you.
   "Or not!" You dodged and slammed your hand onto it's back. Surging an extra dose of terror into it's spine.
    Yelping it wobbled away before collapsing. You'd scared the damn thing to death.
    Turning to the other two you ran at them, sliding underneath the one and grabbing it's ankle.
   This time you channeled anger at the other one through it. Turning to the second the first one attacked it, tearing it apart.
    Breathing heavily you pushed yourself up.
     "Okay two down one to-" you screamed as you slammed into the hard floor, your arm being pinned to your back.
    "That's a neat trick you have there." The voice hissed careful not to make skin to skin contact with you.
    You whimpered trying to see what or who was on top of you. You barely caught sight of the green outfit before the person was knocked off.
    "Hands off." You heard Loki snarl before pulling you up into his chest. Then you yelped in surprise when he pulled you behind him.
   "Didn't I tell you to stay out of danger?" Loki chastised as he held one arm in front of him, a dagger in hand, and the other behind him as he guarded you.
   "Actually you said trouble." You corrected your hands on his back.
    Shaking his head he sized up his clone. It matched him so much he may have thought it was a reflection. Maybe it was.
    "Lady y/n I'm going to ask you to run to Thor. Think you can handle that?" Loki asked as he pulled out another dagger.
   "Probably. Will you be okay?" You inquired.
   He nodded and you bit your lip.
"Okay. Be safe!" You whispered wrapping your arms around his waist and then running off to find Thor.
   Of course that was easier said than done. Several times you'd tripped or gotten attacked by another monster.
   Finally you got sick of everything running at you trying to run you through.
   "Fucking hell, STOP!" You screamed throwing your arms out.
   Everyone froze. Not because you froze them with an unknown ability. Nope. You just froze them with shock.
   You'd pulsed all of your annoyance and fear throughout the whole room.
   With everyone frozen you found Thor and ran to him.
"Don't throw me this time!" You huffed and the God nodded still confused.
Glancing around the room you noted at least thirty enemies left. Taking in your surroundings you ran to the left and grabbed a bow and a quiver from one of the fallen.
Nocking the arrow you pulled the string back, surprised at how in tune the bow seemed to be with you.
Shaking off the surprise you aimed at the closest enemy. Letting the string go the arrow flew and hit the creature in the head. Your eyes widened. You'd been aiming for it's leg.
You grinned and nocked another arrow. Aiming at another you aimed at it's chest and winced when the arrow whizzed past and hit a different target in the leg.
At least you still hit something! You yelped when 3 or 4 of the opposing enemies began to run at you. Apparently they didn't like being shot at by humans.
"Thor!" You yelled and ducked when he threw his hammer as you. It quickly flung into the bad dudes turning their heads to goo before flying back into Thor's hand.
"Thanks!" You breathed out as he offered you his other hand, pulling you up.
"No problem, lady y/n." He smiled before going to help somewhere else.
Pulling out another arrow you took a deep breath before nocking it.
"Please please let me be useful!" You groaned before pulling back and aiming at one of the monsters creeping up on Loki.
"Oh no you don't!" You whispered before letting go. Thankfully the arrow his exactly where you wanted it too.
Bullseye!
Quickly you reevaluated the room and noted that there were about 14 left. Then 12. Then 9. The numbers dwindled to nothing and you huffed. Collapsing to your knees you took deep breaths.
Last time this happened you hadn't left your room. Talk about action packed.
Loki scanned the room before finding you and panicked when he saw you on your hands and knees.
Teleporting to you he lightly fretted over you, barely touching.
Looking up at him you smirked.
"I just kicked some serious ass!" You giggled and his eyes widened in surprise before he relaxed.
"You did indeed, little mortal." He smiled brushing some of your hair back.
Grinning you launched yourself into his arms, hugging him.
He toppled over falling onto his back, with you on top of him. Pushing yourself up so you were hovering over him you laughed.
"Kiss me?" You asked and then it was his turn to smirk.
"Of course, M'lady." He purred as he propped himself up on one elbow. Grabbing you by the back of the neck he pulled you down to meet his lips.
You smiled into the kiss. It was perfect considering the adrenaline rushing through your veins.
Then you heard some whoops and cheers, some coughing, and some complaining.
Pulling apart you looked up to see your colleagues with varying reactions.
Rolling your eyes you looked down at the God beneath you.
Looking him up and down you looked him in the eyes before grinning mischievously.
"How about we take this up to my room?" You suggested and the man quirked a brow.
"Anything you want, Dove." He smirked wrapping his arms around you and teleporting away.
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dokugaholidayexchange · 3 years ago
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SIGN UPS FOR DOKUGA HOLIDAY EXCHANGE 2021!
It's that time of year again: time for the sign-ups for the Dokuga Holiday Exchange!
Important Dates of 2021:
August 20th – September 30th: Sign ups for the Exchange
October 1 – The name of your giftee will be sent to you along with the prompt 
December 12 – Stories/Art are due by midnight EST UNLESS extension given
December 25 – December 31 - Posting of gifts will begin on the 25th and continue to the 31st until all gifts are posted. This is a tentative schedule and may be expanded if there is a very high turn out.
Guidelines
- Please use the following form when signing up:
Dokuga or A03 Username (if applicable):
Tumblr Username (if applicable):
Livejournal Username (if applicable):
Email Address:
Ratings You Are Not Willing To Write/Draw:
Ratings You Do Not Wish To Receive:
Prompts you are requesting in your work:
Are You Willing To Be A Pitch Hitter?:
Age Statement (are you 18+):
Code Word:
GUIDELINES PART II
- The whole point of this is to be a gift exchange. To get a gift, you must give a gift. If you drop out or disappear, your gift will be given to the group as a whole. Those who disappear without word will be banned from the exchange for one round.
- The story/art must be centered around the Sess/Kag pairing. It doesn’t necessarily have to be focused on romance - it can be based on first impressions, friendship, even some sort of hatred. Side pairings are fine, just as long as it focuses on the relationship between Sesshoumaru and Kagome. This is a Dokuga Holiday Exchange, after all!
- Gifted works must be new to the exchange. Sequels to previous works, new chapters to a current story, ‘deleted scenes’ from other stories, or anything related to any of your previous work isn’t allowed.
-The story/art can be any genre, though you should go by the prompts given to you to make your best judgment. If your prompts are vague, do your best to work with them. But please pay attention to what is requested to stay away from. If a platonic relationship is requested, do not give a romantic one. If you have any questions about the prompt requested, you can always ask me for clarification, and I will pass your question or concern on to the appropriate person. Please DO NOT contact your giftee directly as your giftee is not supposed to know who the gift is coming from.
-For prompts this year please pick 1 prompt from one of these two lists that you would like your gift to be based on:
1. 25 Days Christmas Romance Prompts
2. OTP Christmas Scenarios
- All ratings are welcome, but if you have a rating that you refuse to write or wouldn't like to receive, please make note of it whenever you sign up.
- When working on your piece, please keep in mind what the recipient wants. If they ask for certain things to be used or not used, please follow them. Usually, there is nothing demanding in the requests; mostly just small things like the type of relationship or universe.
- If you are new to the exchange, please provide a link to a story (in any fandom) that you’ve written that is more than 1500 words. Drabble collections do not count. You can link to a one-shot or even an incomplete epic you’re currently working on, just as long as you can prove that you can meet the word count minimum.
- There will be a three strikes policy. I simply do not have the time to go chasing after everyone who signs up for the exchange, therefore there will be a three strikes policy as far as contacts/behavior go. If you ignore/fail to answer any correspondence within one week of sending, you will have a strike against you. Three strikes, you’re gone from the exchange.
- Please add the exchange email ([email protected]) to your contacts so you can avoid anything from us hitting the spam filter.
Explanation of Age Statement:
Again I will be asking for a statement of age (example: ’I am over the age of 18’/’I am under the age of 18’). The purpose of this is to prevent minors from gifting or being gifted with works that are rated MA. The official rule on Dokuga is: ONLY users ages 18 and up may read or post MA rated work, 16+ for rated M. As this exchange is affiliated with Dokuga, I will be following the same rules on ratings as are followed at the main site. That being noted, if you falsify your age statement you will be removed from the exchange and receive an email notifying you why you were removed.
- Real life does get in the way sometimes, so if you have to drop for any reason please let me know as soon as you possibly can. I understand that you’ve got other obligations, and am not going to be angry with you should something come up. The code word is oak tree. I will be angry, however, if you’re putting things off and finally fess up after your second extension and the posting date is looming. Should you drop, with or without word, the gift prepared for you will be shared for the group as a whole.
- It is your responsibility to have your story beta read before you send it in. We are looking for stories that are in their final polished form, not something that is hot off of the press. I simply do not have the time to beta every story that comes in. If you do not have a regular beta, you can look for someone on the Dokuga Forums, or on the SessKag Discord servers.
- Should a story come in that does not meet the requirements, the mods reserve the right to reject the piece and ask you to correct it. Ignoring this request is grounds for your removal from the exchange.
- Stories should be sent to the exchange email, [email protected]. Either attach in .rtf format, as a googledoc, or add it directly into the body of the email. If anything is sent in any other format, you will be asked to send in the preferred formatting.
- No posting of stories elsewhere until after the big reveal on New Year's Day. The whole point of a secret gift exchange is to keep it a secret. I will let you know when it is clear to post your stories on your own sites.
- Keeping with the above statement, please don’t give out the name of who you are doing a gift for. Blowing the secret ruins the fun!
- As I am running the exchange, I will not be participating.
- When you send your story/art, please include the following header.
Title:
Author/Artist:
Recipient:
Rating:
Summary:
Original Prompts:
To ensure you have read and understood the rules, please send in the code word when you sign up for the exchange.
And as always, you can reach out to me with any questions on
Dokuga
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Discord (Kaoruhana (or Kaoru)#9994)Kaoruhana
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icequeenbae · 4 years ago
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Desert Flower (m) Ch. 1 | BBH
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Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader x Baëkhyun
Characters: EXO and X-EXO (not all of them mentioned)
EXO vs X-EXO dynamics, complicated relationships, angsty, action, smut (as usual)
Warnings: sorta mingling with your ex’s ‘evil twin’, mentions of blood/ violence (nothing too graphic… I suppose), Y/N gets teary a lot(?), explicit content, rough sex, unprotected sex
Word Count: ~13.5k (full), ~3.7k (Chapter 1)
Summary: Baekhyun, your beloved boyfriend of three years, suddenly breaks up with you and disappears from the city in an attempt to protect you. But leaving you alone and clueless means trouble will surely find you. For it is easy to spot a flower in the desert.
Masterlist   >> One >> Two (m) >> Three (m) >> Four (fin)
Author’s Note: Yay, this is happening!!! My first BaekBaёk, oml I’m gonna-
Ok. I’ll admit right off the bat that I wouldn’t be posting this any time soon without my lovely beta @baekshoney​ 🖤 She’s the person I turn to when I think there’s a million little things I could’ve done better, because that’s what I always think. I had to give myself a cut-off date to finally give up editing this 😅 So, I’d really appreciate it if you guys could share your thoughts and opinions on this too. My asks, dms and comments are places where you’re always welcome! Now, let’s get into this!
Tags: @blahblahblah-boo @baeklightsx @wooya1224 @baekklove
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Chapter 1. The beginning of the end 
It was all too sudden.
The words he’d said deafened you. Refusing to believe what you were hearing, you shook your head and took a step back, as if doing so could start the conversation you’d just had over. Or rewind the time and allow you to prevent the words from coming out of his mouth in the first place. But he was firm, unyielding in his stance.
‘I’m sorry,’ he repeated. ‘It’s my fault. I should’ve known better.’
Than to start this relationship, was what he meant. That he should have avoided getting in a relationship with you altogether, and breaking up with you would’ve never become an issue.
‘Why?’ You tried to speak, but your lower lip started to tremble, silencing you at once.
This was all wrong. It couldn’t have been true, what he was saying.
He licked his lips, looking away, hands forming tight fists at his sides as he tried to recollect himself and urge his body to stay frozen on the spot.
That did not work for long – the sight of you, so small, so stunned and defeated, with tears welling in your eyes while you tried to stifle them… He couldn’t. It was stupid of him to break his act so easily, but you were too precious to him to just leave you like this.
Sighing and cursing himself out in his mind, he took a stride towards you and gathered you tightly in his arms.
‘I am sorry, Y/N,’ he continued softly, hearing you hiccup in his unexpected embrace. ‘But I have to leave. We- I should’ve stayed away from you from the start. Forgive me for being so weak.’
You sobbed at his words, shaking your head stubbornly and clinging to his broad chest as an act of desperation.
‘I can come with you!’
‘No,’ he interrupted your crazy idea. ‘I’m leaving you behind. To keep you safe.’
‘Safe from what?’ You questioned, half-annoyed now.
He kept insisting that he wished to protect you, but how was leaving you all alone ensuring your security? And why would you even consider it, when you only felt safe while with him?
‘I cannot tell you. The more you know, the more dangerous it is.’
‘Baekhyunie, please,’ you wiped the tears and grabbed onto his vest as he moved to pull away. ‘You can’t just decide this on your own!’
‘Y/N,’ he took hold of your wrists, not removing them just yet. ‘I know it’s hard, and I never wanted to hurt you like this. But there’s nothing you can say that’ll change my mind. I’d rather break your heart than risk your life, so it’s not really a choice.’
He looked around as if to make sure you were not being watched, and then leaned in to place a farewell kiss on your temple – his favorite spot. You sniffled, realization of the inevitable setting in.
‘Just let me go, flower,’ his voice lowered to a whisper, and you sobbed at the pet name. ‘You’ll be better off without me, I promise.’
‘No,’ you protested as he freed himself from your grasp, and took a step back. ‘No, Baekhyun, don’t leave,’ you clawed at his forearm, trying to stop him. ‘We can deal with it together, we can think of something! I don’t want to be without you,’ you whimpered sorrowfully.
He shook his head, shying away from your touch, while you desperately tried to hold him back.
But you couldn’t. He gently peeled your hands off to walk away, and you missed the pained crease between his eyebrows when he turned his back on you to escape your apartment.
‘Please, don’t do this…’ You whispered, voice breaking in anguish. Just as your heart was.
Yet, Baekhyun kept walking. Leaving you to weep in the unwelcoming emptiness of your home.
Leaving you for good.
***
Your relationship with Baekhyun started almost three years ago.
Still new to university life, you found yourself in the midst of a soap opera worth of drama when a bunch of transfer students joined all at once, some even in the same year as you. All highly attractive, they usually hung out together and spent less time than needed socializing with the outside world.
Not that you cared too much – sure, the excitement going around was making you curious, but they looked too handsome, almost to the extent that you found it intimidating. Ironically, the most intimidating you found Baekhyun. His then long dark hair with strands of red and a mullet hairstyle, the sharp green eyes, the pierced eyebrow, and the lip ring that made him look like a very attractive hooligan... The piercings turned out to be just as fake as the eye color, which did not disappoint you at all.
Funny enough, you only got to know this bad boy because he took a liking to retreating to the campus library. Hiding from all of the attention, of course. While some members of his clique actually basked in it, he preferred to disappear to the remote aisles of the quiet space and read a book, or, more likely, sleep with one on his chest. You saw him like that often, since you were stuck in there yourself – essays for different classes were piling up rapidly. As a diligent student, you were determined to do well in your first year of university, so dragging yourself to the library to stay glued to your laptop was the best option.
Coincidentally, you also preferred to stay in the less lively spaces, as you tended to seek peace and quiet to focus on your assignments. Your attention span… wasn’t impressive, to say the least, so you did your best to avoid any distractions. However, you didn’t count on a certain sleep lover to be one of them.
It was not the first day you spent close enough to notice the tranquil expression he wore on his face as he was snoozing. It was, however, the first time he caught you staring mindlessly in his direction. Burning the deepest shade of red in your cheeks, you grabbed your books and quickly made yourself scarce, thanking heavens for the multiple aisles of books around. You walked around for ten minutes or so, actually placing your books back where they belonged and finding a secluded corner to check out what else was on the shelves. Squinting, you tried to read the name of the tome that had gotten your attention, and raised your arm to get it from the level that was clearly too high for you. Thankfully, someone reached over your head and helped you obtain the book. You turned around to say thank you but instead were suddenly pushed back into the shelf by the taller figure with neat red strands. Speechless, you only held your book close and gaped at him, as he leaned forward.
‘Ever heard about the cat killed by curiosity?’ He hummed, eyes piercing you from above.
You swallowed, knees getting weaker as you registered the fresh musky smell coming off of his brightly colored shirt.
To push your buttons, he decided to get even more scandalously close to you, arm holding onto the rack behind you to keep balance.
‘Nothing wrong with being curious!’ You jabbered. ‘In fact, if people preserved the curiosity they have as kids they would’ve had a much bigger learning capacity as adults.’
He huffed. You weren’t sure if he was shocked or amused, because your eyes looked anywhere but his face. In fact, they lowered enough to fix on your forearm, resting across his rib cage, and your fist pressing slightly into his pec to keep him at least at a minimal distance.
At this you gasped, eyes widening and returning to his face, only to catch an inquisitive spark in his retinas as he nudged the lip ring with his tongue. Sighing, he took a step back, finally allowing some space between you.
‘Can’t write a philosophy essay with this, little flower,’ he chuckled. ‘Or if you can… I’d be impressed.’
You looked down in confusion, understanding that the book you were holding was from a Botanics section. ‘The Oxford Book of Wild Flowers’, read the title.
But… How did he know about your philosophy assignment?
***
Only later had Baekhyun confessed that he had had an eye on you for a while by the time this incident took place, but the moment of your outburst was what got to him. When he looked down at your cornered form, holding a book to your chest so innocently, and keeping him away instinctively with one arm. He had to bite his tongue to prevent a smile from making its way onto his face. That was it for him, and even though he wanted to avoid you and keep interactions with you to an absolute minimum, he couldn’t help but find ways to draw your attention. Like that one time, when you walked out of the library because the loud noises from the outside made your concentration for the night crumble.
The source of that noise was, in fact, a certain convertible, blasting the music for the entire campus to hear. You would have come up to complain that your studying was cut short if you didn’t have perfect eyesight. It allowed you to see that there was a red-haired problem sat in the car, with a bare foot resting lazily against the panel. Ready to run the other way, you turned around, meeting a solid chest with your forehead. You discovered that it was a rather cheerful guy in the same year as you, Jongin, and the other one with him was Sehun. And those two stalled you long enough for Baekhyun to make an entrance.
It was the first time he tried asking you out. And got rejected.
However, as much as you wanted to take ownership of that and say that you were playing hard to get when you walked off and left him stunned by your refusal, that was not the case. This guy made your throat go dry at the mere sight of him! He was way too handsome, and he also looked kind of… well, he looked like he’d break your heart without thinking twice about it. And that you couldn’t allow.
But then again, good girls do tend to fall for bad boys. Or was he only pretending to be bad? You’d never heard anything that discredited him, except for the way he stared people down sometimes. That once happened to a fellow student in your class. After he sat next to you during lunch.
Actually, almost the entire week following that incident you had lunch alone because everyone kept making excuses to sit elsewhere. That was how you became friends with Jongin and Sehun. Having had a few classes together, you were more or less acquainted with each other, so you didn’t mind when Jongin suddenly appeared out of nowhere with a tray and asked you if they could join. He even had lunch with you when Sehun wasn’t around – you figured that it made Jongin even more chatty. So much so, that one day he leaned across the table to get slightly closer, and used his most clandestine voice on you.
‘You know, hyung could burn a hole in anyone next to you with his glare, but I’m immune to his ‘charms’, thankfully,’ he giggled and added, ‘Still, I think you should give him a chance. Baekhyun’s a good guy, and he’s kinda torn as it is. Asking you out was a pretty big step for him.’
Honestly, you had a hard time believing that. Baekhyun… was probably the kind of guy, who never even had to ask. You could look around and easily spot a dozen eyes that were fixed on him at this very moment. Why in the world would he want to date you, clearly not the ‘easy-going’ party type? He probably wanted to get into your pants just for sport, like the rest of the pretty boys.
‘Whatever you’re thinking, it’s far from the truth. Ugh, Junmyeon will kill me for this!’ Jongin cursed himself and continued, before you could ask. ‘Hyung looks rough around the edges, but he’s really a softie. Trust me on this.’
‘Are you his wingman or something?’ You snorted dubiously, getting a little timid from this discussion.
‘Ha, are you kidding? He’s gonna strangle me if he finds out. Like I said, he’s torn between staying away from you and persisting in his efforts to take you out. Just think about it,’ he ended with an attempted (but failed) wink.
As if to take away your chance to process the unexpected input, Jongin shoved Baekhyun in your direction the very next day. Disappearing from the cafeteria right after, of course. Envy his subtlety. But, apparently, what he said earlier had an effect, so you only nodded when a flustered figure asked for permission to sit with you. He looked quite different from the previous times you saw him up close – much less confident and intimidating. But he seemed sincere when he said he just wanted one chance.
And that was how your relationship picked up. It took a whirlwind course from the very beginning, and the hot summer before your second year of university was the most torturous time ever for the both of you. Still wary of getting played, you only trusted Baekhyun enough to get intimately close months and months into dating. And he was patient with you, going at a slow pace, letting you pull away whenever you wanted. Until you didn’t want to anymore.
That last leap of faith was a beginning in itself – a true beginning of you and Baekhyun. The final seal was broken, and you entrusted yourself fully to him, which he repaid by showering you in his affection and feelings that he himself had not come to acknowledge just then.
After a year together, you were not simply allowed into the inner circle, but also educated about the special abilities that Baekhyun and his friends had. You were first interrogated by their leader, Junmyeon, who wanted to make sure you had no ulterior motives and were not going to tell a living soul about them. He called it ‘a quick chat’ as he dragged you in a scarcely furnished room where he sat you down at the small metal table across from him. The leader asked you questions and tried reading your verbal and non-verbal cues, so it was clearly an interrogation. Junmyeon was pretty experienced in this, so he could instantly tell that you were harmless. And you also passed the test, answering the most ridiculous questions about Baekhyun – apparently, that was to make sure you were not ‘faking it’ – so, he accepted you into their family.
However, knowing too much was dangerous, so you only learned about their powers and how they came from the so-called EXO Planet when they were young (talk about dating an alien!), and that the organization they called ‘the Red’ amongst themselves wanted to hunt them down. They also used to be held hostage by these people – and that was just about as much you knew about the issue because Baekhyun kept you away from the ‘unnecessary details’. He only told you that they seemed to be hidden well in this town, surrounded by just enough people to blend in and disappear. And you worried, always, because you knew too little about the dangers surrounding the group, and even less about how you could contribute to their safety.
Baekhyun laughed when you once brought it up, finding your concern nothing but cute.
‘You don’t have to worry about it, flower. It’s my job to make sure you’re safe, not the other way around,’ he then said, playing with the curly ends of your hair.
You frowned at that. Why was it not your job to take care of him? If you could help, you wanted to help. But he always brushed you off, saying that the only thing you should do to help is staying out of trouble. Like that was a challenge – you either studied or hung out with him and his friends, not much room to stir trouble. The only other person you talked to regularly was your roommate, and she was also pretty harmless.
As time went by, you got closer to your own graduation, basically, one year left before you had to figure it out for yourself again. Your boyfriend was always supportive, but you couldn’t help but wonder how he imagined your future. He was always up to something but never shared it with you since it was ‘nothing for you to worry about’. Had he not shown you his actual abilities before, you would’ve certainly thought that it was a crazy lie he told you to cover up for some kind of illegal activity. In reality, some illegal activities were going on, especially since hacking and cracking was one of Minseok’s specialties (but mostly because they needed to keep their identities out of sight). Another reason why they didn’t all go to the same school when they arrived, and also why they changed their appearance ever so often. The lucky mullet was long gone by the time you had your first Christmas together, and you had had the pleasure of seeing him in multiple hair colors throughout almost three years of your relationship. Notably, the first dozen or so make-out sessions you had with him took place when he had just cut his hair and dyed it pitch black. And he still wore his fake lip ring at the time, which was an experience in itself. He did know how to use his mouth…
Admittedly, you were kind of used to being the object of the boys’ shameless teasing every time you hung out together. The way Baekhyun kept you close and fussed about everything was, apparently, atypical for their usually chill and humorous hyung. He was their second-in-command, after all, the genius behind the strategic planning of the group, and the mind that kept them hidden for so long in one place.
Because of you.
One of the boys had previously let it slip that they hadn’t lived anywhere for that long before, maybe not even for one full year. But this time Baekhyun was determined to stay for a while, now that he had an anchor.
But the day came. When he found out that they might’ve been compromised, he got scared. The way he’d never feared anything before. And he’d been through a lot, to put it mildly. Baekhyun could maintain a cold and sharp mind at all times, that was his thing, but not when it came to you. Once he figured out that there was a real chance, that they could’ve found the EXO hideout and, thus, could connect you to the boys, he couldn’t think straight. Overwhelmed by a sudden panic, he sought advice from the leader.
‘You know it’s not me who’s supposed to decide,’ Junmyeon sighed, looking at his disheveled second. ‘I told you a relationship wasn’t a good idea. I also think that keeping her close means putting her life in jeopardy.’
His words were cutting through Baekhyun as he paced the room, long fingers grasping his own hair.
‘But it still may be a safer option than leaving her here,’ the leader added, pinching the bridge of his nose. ‘We need to relocate fast, and you have the ‘better of two evils’ situation on your hands.’
‘I know I should leave her,’ Baekhyun stopped in his tracks, turning his head to the leader. ‘But what if they already know, hyung?’
‘Minseok had every trace of her erased, not a single camera in town had a glimpse of her with you. They might have found our footprints in the sand, but those don’t necessarily lead to her. I suppose they should move on as soon as they come here and realize that we’re nowhere around.’
‘Most likely, but what if-’
‘They can very well catch up to us while we run. Like I said, there isn’t a right answer, but a choice. And I think that you’ve already made it when you should give her a voice, too,’ the leader pushed.
‘I-’ Baekhyun turned away to hide the glassy eyes from Junmyeon. ‘I have to give her a chance, hyung. I cannot sentence her to a lifetime of running and danger. And I know she’s silly enough to throw herself into it if she has a say in this.’
‘And if you’re wrong? You’re going to break her heart as a precaution?’
‘She won’t die from a broken heart. Can you imagine what they’d do to her if they find out?’
Junmyeon bit his lip. This time, the choice was completely out of his hands. He thought his second was making a mistake, but it was not his place to decide. Exhaling again, he nodded.
‘Tell her in the morning. We’re moving out as soon as the rain starts.’
>> Chapter 2
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A/N: So, what do you think? This is more of an introductory chapter, I know, but it covers quite a lot of their relationship with Baek. You must be excited to see where this goes and when Baёk appears? Or if Baekhyun is coming back? Me too, me too 🙈
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rec-review8890 · 3 years ago
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A Veil of Gods and Kings - Book Review
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Title: A Veil of Gods and Kings
Author: Nicole Bailey
Online Rating: 4.04/5
Personal Rating: 4/5
Warning(s): Greek Mythology, M/M, and (mild) Sexual Content.
Pages: 347
Summary: A god fighting his fate. A prince burdened with secrets. And a romance that could end in flames. Apollo is a deity… almost. Half mortal and refusing to take his position as god of the sun, he spends his nights drowning out haunting memories and his days avoiding responsibilities. Until his father forces him into an ultimatum: Ascend immediately. Or spend the year mentoring under the obnoxious Prince Hyacinth. Forced together, Apollo and Hyacinth grapple with their mutual disdain for each other. But what starts as a kindling of irritation begins to burn into something new. A spark that, if it turns to flame, could incinerate everything they’ve always protected. A reimagining of the Greek myth of Apollo and Prince Hyacinth, this NA, enemies-to-lovers fantasy series is a whirlwind journey full of romance, intrigue, and enthralling characters.
Review: Truthfully, I’ve read a few books and have read the true myths of the Greek gods a lot over the years, and this is the first time I’ve ever read about Apollo in this type of way. Granted, all those books were when he’s already a god, but that also makes me nervous about the second book since I know how their story goes. In case you haven’t read any other books with Apollo in it, he’s ALWAYS the asshole and basically a sex addict. In this book, still kinda a sex addict, but only for sex from a certain pretty prince! ;) The reason I’m scared is because this is before Apollo becomes a god, so this is basically the match lit before the fire. I’m worried about what’s going to happen in the next installment, and the author may address theses things. Speaking about addressing… The author put in the beginning of the book a discretion warning for “sexual assault” and “sexual contact” but none of that happened in the book. The sex was basically glossed over or “faded into black” as I saw some reviewer phrase it. I don’t know if its more for what’s going to happen in the second book, which I hope doesn’t happen of course (the s/a), but I don’t understand the point of her false warning. Anyway, this is the positive part, so I should be more positive… I loved their slow burn retelling, and it wasn’t a un-plotted slow burn. There’s was always something going on, and some sort of pining between the two (except in the very beginning). I loved reading their tail, and also can’t wait for the next one. Kinda a cliff hanger in the end, but not to bad to the point I want to jump off a cliff because I can’t wait LOL Now, can I just say… WOW to the ending! If you came here after reading the book, then you know how I feel right now. The slightest of information at the end made my JAW DROP! Out of all things for the author to hit me with, I was not expecting Tami (Apollos sister) to be the one to shock me. I was always wondering why I couldn’t find a person named “Tami” as Apollos sisters online, or anywhere in the true tails about her. And now I know, and holy shit I’m excited to read more! 
Negatives: Let me be the first (not actually) to say I didn’t like that there was sections about Epiphany (Hyacinth’s sister) POV. Don’t get me wrong, I liked her side story, but it was more fit to be in its own separate book then in this one. When I read a book about a pairing, and it has split chapters, I only want to read about the pairing. Not about one of the pairing’s sisters. Instead of giving her own chapters the author could have written a third installment in Epiphany’s POV for the people curious about it. I liked her story, but would have preferred not to read it. I sorta addressed this before, the gloss over for the sex scenes, and it honestly frustrated me. Not because I read it just for the sex, but because it wasn’t just these scenes I felt the author glossed over. When a chapter ended, that was the end of the day, basically. It’s like the author couldn't think of anything else important that could have been put into a scene or discussed between the people in that chapter. I wished for far more detail but instead didn’t get much. Also, after they got together, the plot lessened a little bit and I don’t know if that was for more build-up for their relationship or because the author didn’t know what else to write about. Honestly, if she stretched out sex scenes in it, I wouldn’t have cared because at least there was more spice to this “spicy novel.” LOL 
Ending Notes: (08/15/22) - I didn’t know this originally, but this a four part series. I said “second installment” a couple of times in this review, and suggested a third installment too, but there’s actually four books overall. The other two are coming out this year, too. I believe the third is coming out at the end of this month, and the fourth in September. I just bought he second book, so that review is coming soon!
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|| Account Directory || Book 2 Review || Book 3 Review ||
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tinkerbellwoo · 4 years ago
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Movie Night - C. San
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Synopsis - You and San were supposed to be having a movie night but it quickly turns into much more after a steamy scene appears on the TV.
Genre - Smut
Pairing - Boyfriend!San x Female!Reader
Warnings - Marking, light hair pulling, oral (M receiving), light spitting, nipple play (F receiving), dirty talk, bad language, light spanking, light choking, unprotected sex, rough sex, creampie, light biting, pet names, could be more tbh but you get the point.
Word Count - 1200+
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What was supposed to be an innocent movie night, turned into something much more intimate. You were laying between your boyfriend’s legs, arms wrapped around his waist with your head resting on his stomach, when you started to feel him getting hard beneath you as an erotic scene played out on the TV.
You tried to ignore it but you couldn't stop your panties soaking at the feeling of San moving his hips against you, the outline of his cock prominent through the fabric of his grey sweatpants. “Baby” He speaks out, his eyes burning into the top of your head and the lust in his voice is more than evident.
You look up at him as he cups your chin, tilting your head to encourage you to move yourself up to kiss him. You shuffle up his body, still in-between his legs as your hands rest on his broad chest, San wastes no time and captures your lips in a passionate kiss. A hand moves from your chin to your jaw, rubbing your cheek with his thumb as the other hand rests on your waist.
He nibbles at your bottom lip before gliding his tongue across it, asking for access which you grant him. Both of your tongues dance together in each others mouths as you bring a hand up to clutch the hair on the back of his head, San ruts up against you at your action, desperate for more friction.
“Fuck baby, I need you” He groans against your lips. You kiss along his jaw, grazing your teeth against the sharp bone before decorating his neck with deep shades of red and purple bruises. You tug at the bottom of his shirt and San immediately removes it, tossing it behind the couch as you sit up between his legs to remove your own. 
You almost drool at the sight of his defined abs, wasting no time placing kisses down the beautiful muscles as your hand squeezes his solid cock through the thin material of his sweats. He lets out a moan that is nothing short of arousing, pulling off his sweats, you instantly palm him through his boxers to hear another one of his beautiful moans. He hisses through his teeth as he throws his head back against the couch “Please baby, no more teasing-” he begs, followed by another moan.
Discarding his boxers, his painfully hard member springs up and hits his stomach, a string of precum leaking from his angry, red tip. You feel yourself begin to drool at the sight of the protruding veins and you refuse to waste another second, grabbing his thick cock, you pump him a couple of times before sucking his tip, kitten-licking his slit and then taking his full length into your mouth.
San’s hands grip onto your hair as you gag around his length, taking it out of your mouth before licking from his base to his tip as you bat your eyelashes at him, He could've cum at the sight of you, your lips red and glossy with saliva and precum, eyes sparkling through your thick lashes and cheeks pink from arousal.
You spit on his tip before smearing it over his length, using both hands to pump him in a twisting motion. “F-fuck, fuck, fuck stop I'm gonna cum” He whines as he grabs your hands, halting your actions. “Let me make you feel good, on your back” He demands, but you have other ideas. Instead, you remove your jeans and straddle his lap, your drenched panties rub against his cock “Fuck angel, you’re soaked” He groans as he grips your thighs, stroking his hands up to your waist.
“Please just let me ride you Sannie, I need you inside me” You beg, he smirks at your plea and hooks his fingers under the hem of your panties, urging you to take them off. He throws them to the side, removes your bra swiftly and places his hands on your hips, moving your wet folds against his stiffness, causing you to let out a whine when your clit brushes against his tip.
Grabbing his cock, you lower yourself onto him as he slips in with ease due to how wet you are and your spit still covering his length. You both moan at the feeling as you slowly begin to move yourself up and down. His hands move up to cup your breasts, massaging the soft flesh before rolling your nipples between his fingers, causing you to throw your head back and move yourself faster against his hips.
“Oh fuck San, that feels so good” You whine, San sits himself up slightly to take your left nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue against the bud before switching to the other side to do the same thing. He releases your nipple with a lewd pop and begins sucking on the flesh of your breasts, marking you with red bruises which causes you to lose yourself on top of him.
Sparks shoot through your body as he hits your sweet spot head-on and your clit grazes his pubic bone. “God, baby you look so fucking sexy like this” He growls “should ride me more often” He smirks, watching your tits bounce as you lift yourself and drop back down onto his cock, all you can do is whimper at his words.
Your thighs begin to burn but you need more, San notices and wraps a hand around your throat, pulling your face down to meet his, his other hand wrapping tightly around your waist. Your chests glistening with sweat press against each other as San kisses you roughly, fucking up into your wet cunt, causing you to whine into his mouth and desperately grip his shoulders, creating crescent shapes in his skin from your nails.
“I love you so much, fuck- you feel so good” He growls against your lips, his hand still wrapped around your throat but only to hold you in place, barely applying much pressure. His other hand adds a harsh spank to your ass before gripping it roughly to soothe the sharp pain. “F-fuck Sannie, make me cum” You beg, your voice unsteady from the relentless pounding your boyfriend is giving you right now.
“Anything for my princess” He replies, nipping your ear before burying his face in your neck, licking and sucking at the skin as he moves a hand to your clit to rub fast circles against the bundle of nerves. You yelp at the added pleasure, your back arching as you grip his hair “I-I’m, I’m gonna-” you squeak, your voice caught in your throat “I know baby, me too. Cum for me” San replies, looking up at you to watch your expression as you cum.
His words are enough to bring you to your release, gripping onto his shoulders as you bury your face in his neck and lay against his chest, San reaches his climax, filling you to the brim with his hot cum, pumping it into you slowly as you both come down from your climax.
San pulls out of you, his cum leaking out of your cunt and trickling down your folds as he strokes your hair out of your face, placing a kiss to your forehead. “You should ride me more often” He giggles, back to his soft self after the demonic performance he just put on. All you can do is lay limp against him, exhausted from the activities that took place only moments ago.
“Here, let’s get cleaned up and go to bed, hmm?” He says softly before lifting you up and carrying you to the bathroom.
So much for movie night...
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A/N - So this is absolute filth but I hope you liked it lmao. I really would’ve preferred to add a ‘keep reading’ link but it glitches and fucks up my work every time I try and use it. If you have any tips on how to avoid this I’d greatly appreciate it as it would be better for my longer fics. Thanks for reading 💙
Tag List - @simphwa @multidreams-and-desires @yunhoiseyecandy
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youwontlikethisblog · 3 years ago
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Picasso's Night
The previous post Adriana Arboleda brings you up to date with the analysis if you would like to go read it before you start reading this one :)
Now this day has been a pretty eventful one. For one: We witnessed Armando show contentment that morning when he saw Betty for the first time that day. Totally absorbed by her existence until Mario cleared his throat.
Armando screwed up big time when he made it seem and acted like spending some alone time with AA was a lot more important than Betty or the company. He yelled at her and said she got on his last nerve and since then Betty has been on a bad mood with Armando, who after Mario told him that Betty was jealous had a moment of realization and has been feeling pretty awful since then.
Interestingly enough as the night progressed and Betty was invited to the exhibition of Picasso's collection, Mario kept insisting that Armando go and speak with Betty since he was leaving to Miami the next day.
Though this time, unlike the last time he traveled, before Panama, Armando was a bit more hesitant to leave. It wasn't merely because of the new collection they were going to launch and it wasn't because of the state of company. Armando looked at Betty to see if he had any reason to stay, looking at his best friend for any excuse to stay.
After Marcela tells Betty to reserve two rooms at the same hotel they stayed last time and Mario agrees to them traveling he then starts to insist that Armando go speak to Betty and apologize for his behavior that day.
The one thing that Betty did begin to screw up on(aside from starting an affair with her hawt boss) is that now emotions begin to play a huge role, not in the personal part of her life but the professional.
Betty has always been good at maintaining a good separation of what is professional and what is personal(although most of the times when she didn't she was following Armando's lead or example) . At the start of their affair, the day after Armando kissed her for the first time, Betty stayed professional. Even afterwards, Betty stayed professional. When it has come to company time Betty has stayed professional except this time she didn't.
Her jealousy, her feelings took control of her, foretelling things to come, less than 24 hours away.
This also pushes Mario with this idea that Betty must be catered to by Armando in order to keep her under control, though Armando knows best and he knows Betty won't betray him, Mario keeps pushing this narrative and when Betty doesn't agree to it or deny she'll do it Mario understands this as her holding it over Armando's head because of what he did that day.
Writing this now has made me realize that that's the reason he wrote the letter to Armando, not as some stupid mistake or for Betty to find it, though that's a pretty good theory, is that he did it for Armando's sake. Here me out!
For one he truthfully believed that Armando would be stupid enough to screw up giving Betty her gifts and that it would ruin the relationship but the cruelty of this letter exceeded even his jokes behind closed doors, that Armando didn't find amusing anymore, even before he slept with Betty the first time. I'll explain this in the post regarding that fateful letter and from the point of view as a writer and why even that sequences of scenes was a bit choppy and had it's mistakes in execution.
Now here when Armando asks her if she will embellish the balance for him for the big board meeting she allows her anger and resentment to come above her labor obligations and she doesn't give him an answer, better yet she finds a way to ignore the subject. Yes you can argue that Betty was always motivated by her secret crush and her secret feelings for Armando to do all the things she did it in the past, like the first time she embellished the balance and while yes that is true. I have pointed out how Betty showed her love for Armando through her work. He had upset her as well in the past and she'd still do it because in the thick of it she couldn't see him fail when she had the "solution" in her hands but this time her feelings-though extremely valid since he did end up hurting her feelings not as his employee but as his girlfriend- come above everything because this time her ego, the one he was helping to build up, was crushed by the man himself and that is a mistake. Especially when it comes to something that doesn't only directly affect Armando but an entire enterprise where her friends happen to work in. This again foreshadows events to occur in less than 24 hours.
Later when he goes into her office to talk to her she tells him that she doesn't do that, but he interrupts her and tells her that he doesn't want to talk about that but that he wants to talk about Adriana and what happened in his office.
Again though Armando contradicts himself a lot when he is with Mario when we see him with Betty we know where the true nature of his worry or concern lies and it isn't the company but their relationship. The evidence in this is how he behaves when Mario brings up the company compared to his relationship with Betty.
After Betty leaves Mario explains why Betty was hurt and that he can't leave with Betty being hurt, angry, and resentful because she's got the company in her hands. Armando looks angry when Mario is explaining what his mistake translated to Betty. He's angry at himself, while Mario talks about the company Armando has his back to him, peaking outside of the blinds and then turns to him.
"What you're doing is throwing away all that work [we] put in the days before. You're practically telling her that the relationship is just a game. That for you the ninety sixties are a lot more important to you." Armando quickly looks at Mario when he says this, again he is maintaining himself composed and controlled with his emotions as his face doesn't give much of a reaction but the quick jerking of his eye sight allows us to know that this part, from all of what he has said, is a lot more important to him than the company, again because he trust Betty with it, and that he is more worried about the way he has offended Betty. "that this is made of paper and let me tell you something; an ugly wounded woman is more worse than a wounded tiger and that wound doesn't heal with pats on the back, no Sir."
This conversations motivates Armando, not to go talk with Betty since he already wanted to do that but to go searching for her so he could fix his mistake and clarify just how important she is to him.
At the exhibition Betty points out his needs with the models to which Armando tells her that she makes him feel like if he were some seggsually deprived man, which is true. This does make the assumption that Armando's conquests or what not where meant to be written as a borderline seggsual addiction behavior type of thing since she doesn't say "your infatuation, your affairs." she clearly says "your needs with the models".
The conversation here is important because it begins to open a can of warms. She tells him that he'd look good with her, that Adriana Arboleda and him would make a good pair. That their attractiveness complements each other.
"I understand asking for privacy for one thing only." We then see a frame of Armando(lol the painting behind him has to be comedic gold!) who glances away from her, lips with a slight frown but not tight or pursed, showing that he isn't mad or frustrated rather he is upset with himself. "You wanted to be alone with her. Besides I'm not asking for you to give me any explanations. At the end of it you are the president and I'm your assistant. Besides this all happened during work hours and since I've worked for you I perfectly know your needs with the models." She glances around and leaves as people get closer to them. Armando then goes after her.
Right now I'm going to admit that I was wrong, well somewhat. I wrote a post once saying that Betty was calling Armando Don instead of Sir as the relationship progressed but I was wrong. Betty uses the title of Sir as a term of respect for Armando. Even here when they've slept together and she's seen and felt the change of Armando towards her and their relationship she still calls him Sir or Don Armando, that doesn't change. However the somewhat mentioned does change when it comes to Armando. So I was wrong but towards who the theory fell upon. @el-moscorrofio-y-el-mercachifle was right and there isn't much of an importance when it comes to Betty and what she calls Armando. HOWEVER let me preference this that the person I was pointing this theory towards was my bad however the theory of changing names or titles is correct.
If you've read my untitled post regarding my OC and her relationship and how that helped me realize how I wasn't sympathizing with Marcela and that not only was A+M relationship toxic but as well as dependent than I gave you some glimpse into my original writing and how that process helped me be able to understand this part of their relationship and now that this is out of the way, let me tell you why these last two paragraphs are here.
My OC has a habit of never remembering peoples names on purpose, she does it as a power move. As if saying "You're not that important for me to remember your name." she does it especially to annoy people. Also because she's distracted half the time judging a person when they're first introducing themselves. Armando does something similar with Betty on her first days or weeks at Eco Moda.
Men tend to ignore women who they aren't attracted to. Armando did this to Betty. On a professional level he didn't ignore her but as a woman he did. We knows this because it was clearly presented this way at the start of the novela. However I really made my self take notice of this when I re-watched the first half of the novela(I haven't seen the ending bc I tend to avoid things that I cannot control or expect).
My OC is introduced to a guy who she can't stand and at first she calls him all sorts of names starting with the letter 'C' until she managed to remember his last name and calls him that for the remaining of the beginning of the story until they become friends, she switches between Caleb and Anderson, often times calling him by his name when they are having friendly conversation. When they become good friends and establish their friendship he no longer is just Anderson to her but Caleb, someone worth remembering. This is a small detail that I thought would allow the reader to determine the change of tonality between these two characters and their relationships and honestly one of my favorite details to write so when I first noticed this, I got too excited and projected it onto Betty when in reality it was Armando.
Now that I've spoiled my own writing(that I'll most likely never publish) let me explain why I bring this up, finally.
Armando called Betty at the start of the novela "Emperatriz". Once they became more familiar and Betty corrected him and told him he could call her Betty, he finally remembered her name. It's important to note this small detail because just like I intended to write it, so did Fernando Gaitan(I'm assuming lol). He did know her name but he didn't care to register it. Marcela called her Beatriz in front of him, Mario called her by her name, everyone did except for him, and she[Marcela] got upset at him when she heard him call her Betty because in her[Morch] eyes that was a cute nick name to have for an employee, especially for an "ugly" secretary. Now the switch between Betty and Beatriz did happen before the affair started, however the switch was a little bit more noticeable as Armando began to blur the lines of personal and impersonal.
In this scene though and the scenes before this, whenever emotions were heavily involved, especially when it was regarding their relationship Armando calls Betty, Beatriz, in fact even when she wasn't present in the room and he'd talk to Mario about his feelings and why he felt guilty(before he'd shut off this part of him bc Mario would start making jokes) Armando referred to Betty as Beatriz and not Betty but when it came to talking about her as an employee and not a woman he'd refer to her as Betty, it happens this day as well. When he gets upset that she won't let him spend alone time with AA and he yells at her and calls her Betty.
Why am I bringing up this small detail in this post? In this scene and the scene in Mario's apartment this is very evident and signifies the growth of his feelings and his conscious commitment to Betty as a woman.
Finally, after a bit of arguing inside the museum they leave together, of course, after sneaking out because Marcela went to the museum trying to catch him.
It's also important to note that when they found out Morch was in the museum that Betty asked Armando if he had anything to drink. It's pretty standard for him to be drinking, tipsy, or even drunk when he goes out with Betty. The one time I can remember him being completely sober was when he had to confess his feelings for her, soberly, the day after he kissed her for the first time. I broke that down in another post :)
Other times while he hasn't been drunk or tipsy he has had a few drinks at the office, however again it's pretty standard for him to drink and she knows this but why is it something that is brought up here?
Betty attributes Armando's behavior, especially when he is this...stubborn in doing things that could expose their relationship when he has been drinking. Not only that but also because the night they first hooked up they both had been heavily drinking, especially Armando and it is important as the continuation of the night leads us to Mario's apartment.
Outside, in his car, Armando finally gets to clarify his actions as he apologizes and tells her that he only wants her to know that she's more important to him than any other woman and he isn't shy to name the woman as he says: "than Adriana Arboleda, than Marcela or any other woman." This sounds a bit rehearsed but not like the previous times where we can even notice in his tone of voice and his micro expressions that he does so for manipulation. A great scene to use as a contrast to this attitude of his in this scene is the one where he makes out with Betty, the night he fights Roman and Co(wrote a post about it too). This lets us know that he really did think about how to apologize to her. While here his tone is rehearsed his micro expressions aren't a show, in reality his behavior is natural and goes along with what he is saying.
Now Betty in a teasing tone replies to him saying "That's not true." (also because she doesn't believe him)and Armando in a very serious tone and even a seductive tone, gazing his eyes down her body and back to her lips tells her that of course it's true and leans in, placing his hand on her face and they start to kiss.
This shows us that Armando once again isn't only feeling his emotional attraction to Betty, which is what moved his physical attraction forward in the past but now he can tell the difference between these two and he is okay with them! This is a huge step for Armando because he no longer is denying these things from himself. In fact he encourages himself and Betty to have these desires for one another and that as the days progress since their first sinful night his desire for Betty only continues to increase.
When they pull away his phone starts to ring, Betty asks if it's Marcela and Armando's facial expression and tone tells us it is as he looks annoyed and pissed that she's calling him.
This reaction is also standard for him because it's the exact same expression he pulls every time Marcela calls him. Especially when he's with Betty. However this small detail we've been given through the past episodes and this night also hold much significance in future episodes when his reaction to her call no longer is standard behavior from him.
While at the start of this phone call his tone is very forced in "lovingly" speaking to Marcela, his micro expressions again show us that he is just pretending. This tone is one we've heard a bunch of times before and it's one that is solely reserved for Marcela. Even on her part she tries to speak "politely" and just as if she were simply calling because she was curious but as this conversation goes both their dances of trying to keep things peaceful and civil subside and they basically start a mosh pit where they become more hostile until Armando implodes on her.
Marcela in a her standard of questionnaire routine asks Armando who he's with, hesitant he admits he's with Betty.
Her reaction to this however isn't standard of just guilt, taking into consideration the events of the day and that even Armando has told her that Marcela stops nagging him when she knows he's with her and because she's also eavesdropped and heard Armando say that Marcela doesn't consider her as a femininely threat, much less a woman, she once again gets hurt.
One could assume Armando did this to cover his tracks in case anyone told Marcela that they saw them leave together. It's also not hard to believe that Armando is stupid and says things without thinking them through in the heat of the moment however what is more obvious is that he probably wanted to take Marcela off his back so he tells her that he's with Betty. The small pause he takes before he says this helps me determine this. It could also be that he did so in case anyone did tell Marcela he left with Betty.
As Armando implodes on Marcela for insinuating that he lied to her i.e that he's going to go off with his mistress, Betty shifts in her seat and then she looks uncomfortable, returning to her guilt.
In this scene Betty experiences first hand this toxic side of Armando, one she has seen as a boss to employee scenario but not as a significant other. She has heard and even been in the middle of their fights in the past and while even then she behaved professionally, and also guilty this time she shows a lot more emotions raging from being uncomfortable to even being upset with Armando. This however is a small taste to what she will experience first hand not as the bystander of this side of his but as the target of his toxic behavior.
Later in the car, as he drives, Betty, with a broken heart tells Armando she believes that he should go on his trip and try to reconcile his relationship with Marcela and reconnect while they're away.
Armando, nervous and scared asks her if that's what she really wants and the hurt that it might be, he asks(really demands) for her to look him in the eyes and tell him this. Which Betty doesn't. In this moment his phone rings.
Why do these small details play such a huge role?
Less than 24 hours away, Betty finds the letter which plays the exact rhythm in which Armando and Mario planned her downfall.
For one: While in the past Betty agreed to embellish the balance for the meeting, this night she did not and because of this Armando went out to look for her at the exhibit and then took her to his best friends bach pad and slept with her all so she would embellish that balance which would keep the board members at peace allowing Armando to continue as the president of Eco Moda.
Two: That Mario called him this night, while they were together, and while Armando "played" it off that Mario wasn't aware of their affair, when she later questioned him about it and he denied it, these conversations begin to makes sense to her.
We know that's not the case. While Mario spoke about the company Armando didn't seem that concerned or even motivated to go searching for her but it wasn't until Mario mentioned how sever it was what that he implied to Betty that AA was more important to him than her[Betty] and what that meant for their relationship and how she was suffering because of it that he was motivated to search for her as he said, a terrible fear was settling in him because of it. While yes, Mario suggested that they hook up so she could be happy again and forgive him and that way the company would still be in their hands and not Nicolas, Armando didn't need any motivation for that.
In fact he hasn't needed any inspiration or motivation sober or drunk to desire Betty, often not being able to stop himself from kissing her and more. Was this based on Mario telling him to do this?
No.
It wasn't because Mario suggested it(At the office). Unlike their first night where Armando kept calling Mario and kept asking for help and advice, this time Armando gets annoyed at Mario for calling him. Even his behavior is different. While before when Mario kept insisting that he slept with Betty to get it over with, Armando showed disgust or being repugnant to doing an atrocity of that magnitude towards Betty, this time his face was poker. He showed no real disgust towards the idea of seducing Betty as in he'd sleep with her, more that Mario yet again was using something he knew was important and special to the both of them[B+A] as a weapon for the "good" of the company.
When he hangs up his phone Betty points out that the direction he's driving isn't towards her house, to which Armando tells her if she really wants to go home.
"I think it's for the best." He turns to stare at her and then pulls to the side of the road.
"That you want me to take you home?" He asks in disbelief. Betty swallows hard, the corner of her mouth look a bit downward and she looks scared. "Damnit!" He hits his steering wheel and though he is angry, his tone is completely different to that of his tone when he is angry at Marcela. "Damnit, Beatriz, all I want is to be with you tonight, I leave tomorrow, remember? I went to the museum, exclusively, to pick you up, to see you, to feel you next to me, to be with you. When we bumped into Marcela I risked my life and I am still risking it to this moment. Everything I've done is to tell you that I adore you, that you're above Adriana Arboleda, that you're above Marcela, of-of all of them!" We can determine he is honest here as he stares at her, exclusively even when she doesn't stare back at him, she looks pained and confused herself. "and the only thing you can tell me is that you want me to go to Palm Beach(I LOVE the way he says Palm Beach it's just ugh so nice) and have a marvelous honeymoon with her so that we can grow closer." He looks down, away from her and then ahead of him. His voice was no longer harsh at the end more so becoming almost a whisper. "That's what you want? Okay! Right now I'll drive you to your house because it's what you're asking from me. I don't deserve this." (BAWHAHAHA ARMANI YES YOU DO, MY BOY).
Now in a non-contextual way one could simply asume that he is doing this all under the bias of manipulation towards Betty, especially that final line of "I don't deserve this." but when you take all the context clues and you look at the bigger picture there's more that plays in here and I'm not saying that Armando isn't manipulating Betty in this exact scene, he is very much doing so, however it isn't like in the past. This time he does so to get what he wants, which is to spend the night with Betty so he guilts her with this final part of "I don't deserve this- because I've risked so much to spend this night with you."
However taking aside that guilt trip manipulation, why does Armando stumble once in his words showing he isn't rehashing this previous speech? and why does he take a breather before he tells Betty that he'll drop her off at her house like she asked?
While the first apology was what he rehearsed with himself, this second time around it took him by surprise to admit that she was above all the other women because this apology wasn't based on a "lets just make up right now." it was an apology based in heart and the self-realization of how true that statement was for him that while yes Betty was above Adriana Arboleda in her significance to him and even Marcela who he's engaged to, she is now also above all women.
How true is this statement?
Well we see a change of behavior of his with women in the future episodes which proves, yet again, that this confession of his wasn't just an apology so Betty could forgive him, but an apology that was sincere and heart felt.
Betty finally gives in and tells him to wait. With tears coating her lashes she stares at him "Sir, forgive me." She speaks solemnly. Armando's entire body relaxes just a bit as he sits back on his seat. "Sir, forgive me. I want you to understand that-that this hasn't been easy for me. [The situation] with Adriana Arboleda and now the conflict with Ms. Marcela; it's killing me, Sir." His anger and hurt begins to simmer down. "I don't know what to do, how to behave. I-I think I'm acting very bad." She looks away from him, touches the side of her face in a worried and embarrassed manor while Armando stares at her and timidly(in his nature) asks her what truly worry's him.
"But do you want to be with me?"
"Yes, of course, of course. It's what I want most." She caresses the side of his face, he leans towards her hand "in the world." and now he looks like he's come back to life. Staring at her with a soft glow and when she pulls her hand down he looks at it and follows it until he stares back at her, feeling the absences of her touch and missing it. "But you leave tomorrow." They both look away from each other but Armando only does so for a micro second before he stares back at her. "and I won't be complete without you, Sir." Again we get a frame of Armando's reaction to this. "Not being by your side will not be any easier for me." As she speaks her tone is soft, timid however not wavering showing that while she is nervous to confess this to him, she isn't scared of doing so.
"Betty." He says so adoringly towards her. "Betty" he whispers and touches her face and honestly I believe his favorite part of Betty's face is the side of her face, by her earlobe cause he's always touching her there. "Nobody said this would be easy. We knew this road was going to be a difficult one but you know what? I am going to be missing you so much. I'm going to miss you a lot."
Again the words here are lost in translation he tells her "Usted me va a hacer muchísima falta." which roughly is saying that there will be a huge lack of her in him, causing him to yarn for her a lot and feeling that absences of hers will make him miss her in a very profound way because he needs her. This separation they're both fearful of is what brings the forgiveness to shore.
Now the post for that specific scene will need an entire post dedicated to it because there's so much! Just so much.
For this episode I had to watch it on the NBC app so maybe there was some scenes missing.
I don't know if anyone noticed how important the story of Picasso and his lovers was for this and how they showed the similarities to Armando and his lovers, specifically how toxic Picasso was(all though if we're being honest that dood sounds more abusive than just toxic bc we all got a lil toxicity in our system but that foo was straight up kidnapping his lovers and locking them up while he had other's on the side? Nah man call a hotline.) towards his lovers. Though I am not saying that Armando is a saint, I don't think he is as bad as Picasso, that dood needed a restraining order against him so he could just stay away from all women.
In all seriousness though the similarity was that though Picasso had lovers he cared for each of them especially his last two lovers, i.e Betty and Marcela and it foreshadowed just how jealous and pathetic Armando would become in the future.
I mean I love Armando, I had to learn to love him bc at first I didn't, but the behavior he displays in the future episodes while yeah one could explain them are not justifiable and I will get into detail on that in the future posts and the post I am still writing regarding his abusive/toxic tendencies.
Overall this episode, which on NBC is episode 68, was pretty straightforward with a lot of small details to look at and not really for the leading on of the scenes in Mario's apartment but overall where the story continues to get pushed.
In this episode, the episode when Armando fights Roman and Co. and her birthday night celebration and the previous night of this episode are nights that Betty goes back to prove that what she reads in that letter are true, especially this night, before they got to the apartment and just how much Armando "risked" to spend that night with her.
While she tries to believe that it's all a joke because she's certain that Armando was honest and heartfelt with her through his actions and not words, she doesn't trust him. I'll explain that a lot more further in that post.
Pushing forward the plot of the story though we see just how these two have truthfully grown close together and not just as friends but as lovers who are exploring their feelings a lot more now and while Betty is learning to open herself up again, Armando is learning to love for the first time.
I say that Betty is learning to open herself up again because it's true. While in the past she asked Armando why he was interested in her, she shared poetic talk about how the moon inspired poets and how guilty she felt when she saw Marcela, she hadn't opened herself up, not until the night at the hotel and that wasn't much, she barely opened up when Armando was asking her about her first time. This night she was a lot more open. She called out Armando's behavior point blank and period, no hesitation, she spoke about her opinion and then she spoke about how she felt, not regarding her insecurity but regarding their relationship and the absences she'd feel from Armando not being there. While before she'd just say "I need you." or "You mean a lot to me." this time she goes on to further explain her feelings to Armando instead of just saying the words, this time she elaborates.
Armando is learning to love for the first time, being humble in realizing his mistakes, his limits and also understanding just how his actions affect others but the most important thing is that he is learning to be at peace with his feelings for Betty. We saw it that morning when he first saw Betty, later in the office when Betty caught him making out with the AA picture and just how guilty and embarrassed he felt because Betty saw him. Unlike with Marcela where he was scared that she'd cause a while scene, this time the problem for him was that Betty wouldn't cause a scene but be hurt and dump him for it, which would be a big deal for him. We saw it later when Betty forgave him after the letter and gift and when he realized the huge mistake he made with AA in the way he treated Betty. All of these behaviors has shown an Armando who has accepted that he cares for Betty, not love, but cares for her deeply and that she is important to him.
Thank you for being patient with me and sorry that I haven't been as active. These past days have been pretty busy and they'll continue being so. I'll probably only be able to post once a week but I hope that the post become better quality that way as well since I'll have more time to really break down the episodes.
Well 'til next time! :)
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xenia-cenia · 4 years ago
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Venti x Fem!Reader - Wherever The Wind Blows
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A/N-FLYING LOVE CONFESSION SCENE GO BRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Trigger/Content Warnings: Abusive/overbearing parents, spoilers, kidnapping
Word Count: 2,875
Request: No
Summary: You, a sheltered daughter of rich parents, longed for freedom more than anything else. A boy came along, promising freedom with his every breath
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Your parents had been overbearing since your birth. (Y/N), don’t go in the streets! (Y/N), don’t touch that! (Y/N), stay inside!
You were never sure why, but you always complied. Seeing your parents' eyes fill with tears when you got an injury as little as a scraped knee kept you in line. It wasn’t that they didn’t love you... you were pretty sure they loved you, at least.
As the only child in your family, you were protected. You grew up surrounded by well-vetted maids and kind ‘strangers’. You were naive, you were innocent, you were gullible.
And most of all, you were rich. 
Deep in your heart, you knew there was more to life than this. There were birds who chirped in the sky and wind that knocked you off your feet. You had read all of the stories of adventures and Archons - you nearly had them memorized. 
On your 16th birthday, as you sat in your bay window in your room on the highest floor of your manor, you felt resolve bury itself inside of you. 
It took 2 weeks for you to come up with a plan to sneak out, and another 4 weeks for you to build the confidence to actually do it.
And as you snuck between shadows and outside the doors, you almost couldn’t believe it. You wore a dark black cape and flipped the hood up. Freedom truly was here. 
You picked up your skirts and let adrenaline push through your veins as you ran until you caught sight of a magnificent tree. You walked to the tree and sat on the grass, feeling the dirt between your fingertips and the cold air biting your skin.
As you pushed the hood down, you couldn’t help but cry out in glee. Freedom. 
No more memorizing books from cover to cover or breathing on your hands pretending it was the wind. True freedom, true choice, true Teyvat. All of it was right here, underneath your fingertips! What would you do first? Sneak a sip of wine? Learn to fight like in the adventures you loved oh so much? 
You lied down, smiling widely until you heard soft bouncing. You pulled yourself up and saw a small blue ball begin to approach you, water trailing behind it.
“Hello, friend.” You crawled towards the ball, “What are you?”
The ball didn’t respond and instead continued bouncing towards you. You thought for a moment, trying to recall anything resembling it from your books.
“A small blue ball... with water...” You jumped to feet as you remembered Slimes - a fearsome beast who lived outside your manors walls. How they tore wartorn fighters into shreds, but they had a preference for young girls with (h/c) hair and (e/c) eyes. You shrieked and began to run away, but tripped over the tree's roots.
“Dost the lady require assistance? Luckily, the bard can help with no resistance!” An arrow struck the slime to the ground. You looked up to your savior and saw a boy jump from the tree you were sitting under and smile at you, extending his hand to help you up. “Are you alright?”
You gripped onto the boy's hands and looked him up and down. A boy - no shorter than 5′2, no taller than 5′4 - with black hair that melted into two light-blue braids, a Cecilia stuck into his baret. “How can I thank you for this deed?”
He looked at you with wide eyes before laughing and pulling out of your grasp, 
“My names Venti. What’s yours?”
“(Y/N) (L/N).”
“Ehe, (Y/N), you can buy me an apple... or two.” 
“If that’s all it takes.” 
He escorted you to Mondstadt, happily chatting about whatever topic came to mind. When you arrived in the city, you couldn’t hide your surprise. You froze in your steps and watched the candles in the windows blow out, drunks merrily singing songs while collapsed on the ground. Even children calling out for strangers to buy their newest stock.
“Woah...” 
“(Y/N)?” Venti turned when he noticed you weren’t walking by his side. When he saw the wonder in your eyes, he smiled and stood next to you, “Beautiful, isn’t it?”
“Where... where are we?”
“Mondstadt, city of freedom and wind.”
“Freedom...” you repeated. You turned to Venti, “Is it true? Every citizen here is free? Can I... can I be free?”
“Do you want to be?”
“It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
He grabbed your hand and dragged you through the crowds, “I’ll have to give you a tour of the city of freedom myself!” 
You spent the night avoiding cats, watching Venti sing songs for cheering onlookers, and trying to bite down the guilt you felt. As the sun began to rise, you watched the sky paint itself orange and red from the ground. 
Freedom will never be your reality.  
Tears slipped down your cheeks as you prayed that you’d get home in time. You stood, flipped your hood up, and turned away from Venti, “Goodbye, Venti. Tonight was... tonight was fun.”
Venti quickly jumped to his feet and grabbed your hand, “Where are you going?”
It only took a light tug to free your hand from Ventis, “Where I belong.” 
You began the trek home, trying to ignore the feeling of Venti's eyes boring into your back. As you walked, you wiped the tears out of your eyes and pretended you were happy with this.
You were naive, innocent, and gullible. You needed your parents to protect you from this cruel world, freedom was not a right. You needed to be safe, you needed to observe the world from your window. May the wind never blow on your skin again. 
May you never hear children's laughter echoing in the streets, may you never sing along to the story of a drunk, may you never watch the sunrise.
As you reached your family's manor, you didn’t even need to come to the door to be met with your parents' arms. They smothered you with their fear and asked why you left.
“I don’t remember why.” Is the only answer you could muster. 
“Do you see why you are to never leave this house?” Your mom asked, gripping onto your shoulders.
“We’re just trying to protect you.” Your father agreed.
You nodded, “I understand everything.” 
Fate spared no mercy; it didn’t care for your emotions. It didn’t cry as you sat on your bed and watched the sun with hollow eyes.
Fate was cruel. Curiosity was crueler. 
You tried to seek for anger deep inside of you, you hoped to curse the name of the Bard who showed you a taste of freedom. But all you could do was watch the world twirl on without you. 
In Mondstadt, the drunks would simply drink another night away, the children would sing and dance, the Bard would bring smiles to another's face. But it would never be yours.
You spent many days trying to push the memories of freedom out of your head, but every night when your thoughts were your only company you simply couldn’t forget the happiness you felt.
It was on one of these nights when something tapped against your window. You groggily got out of bed, pulled the curtains back, and gasped when you saw aqua eyes.
He motioned for you to open the window, you shook your head and tried to explain that none of the windows open. He leaned back in thought, his body twirling through the air as if it were a pool. After a few moments, he smiled, winked, and disappeared from your view. 
You stood there, blinking, trying to figure out if you were dreaming or not. A few moments passed and the next thing you knew, your door was swinging open. You turned and looked at the Bard who did the unthinkable; got into your home.
“H-How did you...?” You spoke in a harsh whisper.
“Ehe, call it beginners luck.” He walked over to you, a lyre appearing in his hands. “You never did tell me where you were going.”
“What... what are you talking about?” 
“2? 3 weeks ago? I can’t recall, but I had asked where you’re going and you didn’t respond.”
You shook the disbelief away, “Didn’t I say I was going home?”
He looked around the room, “This is what you call home?”
You were conflicted. Home? What was home, really? You lived here, but was it your home?
Venti walked towards you, outstretched his hands, and winked, “Can I take you home?”
Tears filled your eyes. “M-my parents... they’ll be so scared...”
The kindness in his eyes was replaced by sympathy, “You stay here under someone else's fear? That isn’t freedom.”
Anger bubbled in your chest as tears fell down your cheeks, “I know! I know. I...” you took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled, I just want...”
“What do you truly want?”
You turned away from him and sat at your bay window, your voice was no louder than a whisper in a storm yet Venti could hear it clear as day, “I want to hear the birds sing. I want to feel the wind. I want to pick flowers. I want...” you looked at your hands, “I want to be free.” 
He walked over and sat down next to you, “I understand how you feel. Why don’t you come with me, I can help you get your freedom. Or at least, get out of here.”
You pulled your knees up to your chest and hugged them, “I can’t leave my parents here. They... I don’t know. They’re always right. The world is dangerous and scary. I’m just a naive kid, I always need someone to protect me-”
“Alright. That does it.”
“W-What?”
He stood up, brushed his hands on his pants, and smiled, “I’ll protect you. In exchange, you have to experience freedom.”
“When would... no! How would that even work?”
“I can take you out when it’s night, all you’d have to do is close your eyes for a moment. Oh, and get your window to open.” 
“Venti...” You looked up at him.
“Now, stop crying, ehe!” 
And just like that, he was gone. You spent the next few weeks begging your parents to let your window open, and finally, they caved.
They decided to construct a small balcony that you had to open your window to reach. It didn’t take long for construction to end, and after they were pleased with the safety of it, they let you use it. After all, they’d rather you sit in the window than go out on your own again. 
You spent every night on the balcony, waiting to see the boy reappear. And every night he did. He’d grab onto your waist, tell you to close your eyes, and would take you into the city.
As time passed, you grew more and more thankful for the boy. He’d sing you a new song, would show you how to climb the large Barbatos statue, and even spent time teaching you how to shoot a bow. 
You were happy, you were free. You began to learn to trust yourself and your decisions, you didn’t rely on his bow or quick wit, you relied on yourself. So, when Venti said he was going to leave you alone for a moment, you weren’t scared.
Sure, you still wore your nightgowns which were easier more mora than what the entirety of Mondstadt had. You’d never seen a real fight, nothing more dangerous than slimes. Nothing that fought with the intent to kill. And, of course, you didn’t notice the subtle ways Venti kept his promise of protecting you. The way he’d direct you to the other side of the road if he saw someone he didn’t know or the way he’d distract you if he saw a Fatui member walking in your direction. And, the biggest one, he never took you out of the city. 
He knew Mondstadt in and out, every time he left your side he made sure he kept an eye on you. And, yes, he was distracted that day. He forgot the depths of innocence one could have when they were born as a trophy. But, surely, nobody would walk off with a stranger at the promise of a secret. Surely, nobody could tell this complete stranger how deep your family's pockets were lined or where you lived. Surely, anybody could tell why Venti was trying to keep that a secret.
Maybe he was the naive one out of the two of you. Maybe he got so caught up in pretending that he was someone who could protect you, that he forgot what it means to protect. 
While his back was turned, everything collapsed. Was it the stranger's smile? Was it their charming voice? Was it the kindness in their eyes? What about them made you trust them?
Venti could almost remember seeing your hair behind you as you slipped into the crowd. He could almost feel the Cecilia's fall from his fingers. He could almost hear his footsteps pound against the ground as he pushed through the crowd. But when he crossed to the other side, you were gone.
Just like before, nothing ever changes. No matter if he were Barbatos, Venti, or a mere wind spirit. He could never protect the ones he cares about. He could never show them the freedom they longed for as he listened to their wishes.
He didn’t fall to his knees or shed a tear. He let his hands fall to his sides as the memories replayed in his head on loop. 
When your parents woke up, there was a note pinned to their door with a knife. It demanded 50 million mora for your life, delivered under the bridge to Mondstadt. They paid it within hours and when you were given to your parents, they made instant changes. 
Chains attached your ankle to your bed, whatever freedom you had left was ripped from you once again. 
You’d watch the moon from your bedroom every night. You trusted in yourself and where it’d get you? Tied up and being ransomed back to your parents. 
Freedom, you decided, was a lie. Just another fantastical song Venti would twist into something realistic. 
“Venti...” you lied on your bed, curled into a ball as tears soaked your pillow, “I miss you.” 
You missed the wind, you missed his gentle songs, you missed the way your fingers would ache after you’d pull the bowstring back. 
Tap, tap, tap
You sat up and looked at your window, surprised to see Venti smiling at you. You got up and tried to run to the window, but the chain on your ankle stopped you as you were mere inches away. You motioned to the chain on your ankle. He nodded, disappeared from your view, and a few moments later appeared at your room.
“How do you keep doing that?” You laughed, relieved to see the boy.
“Ehe, I’ll never tell.” He walked towards the chain on your bed and looked at it dubiously, “Hmm...”
“Don’t even bother. There’s no way to get it off without the key.”
“And where is the key?”
“I think my Father has it.”
Venti stood upright and winked at you, “My fair maiden of the tower, you will be free within the hour.” 
And just like that, he was gone. You sat for a few minutes in silence, then you heard a loud bang, yelling, laughing, and the sound of someone running up the stairs. You sat on your bed in alarm as Venti barreled into your room and pushed your bookcase in front of the door. On the other side, you heard your Father yelling.
“What did you do?!” You shrieked.
“I got the key!” He beamed, breathing heavily. After a few seconds to catch his breath, he quickly went to the chains around your ankle, unlocked them, and let them fall to the floor. 
“Venti, what are we going to do?” You looked between the window with a who-knows-how-far drop and your door which almost certainly held Venti's demise if your parents got in. 
“Well,” he walked over to your window and threw it open, “We’re going to fly.”
“We’re going to what?!” 
He picked you up by the waist, you gripped onto his shoulders as he stood on the edge of your balcony.
“I’m scared.” You whispered into his ear
“Just close your eyes, we’ve done this before.” He whispered back.
The door to your room burst open, you saw your parents' terrified faces. Venti grabbed his hat, winked, and jumped.
Your eyes stayed open, and you marveled at the beautiful scenery. “Venti...”
“Are you still scared?’
“No, I...” you took a deep breath, “What if they find us?”
“Then I’ll save you over and over again.”
“I... I love you.”
He smiled, “A million ballads wouldn’t get half of the love I feel for you onto paper.”
You looked over at him. Maybe freedom was real. Maybe there was more to life than biased storybooks and hiding. 
The thought elated you, though you did have one last question for yourself.
What will you do with this newfound freedom?
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tuggersc0ck · 3 years ago
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Can I have A, J, M, and S for Tugger, Plato, and Alonzo? If you can't do all of them, I understand.
I will absolutely do all three for you anon here you go
A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
Tugger somehow always manages to sneak in a few smug comments after sex, usually a teasing comment about how fucked out his partner looks. He may not care for a cuddle normally, but after sex is one of the times he makes an exception. Tugger is very snuggly after sex. Tugger doesn’t like to clean up right away, preferring to wait until the morning before worrying about the mess, especially since he usually likes to go a few more rounds after some post-sex cuddling.
Plato gets very sweet and romantic after sex, cuddling up to his partners to tell them how good they did (or the other way around depending on the dynamic). He's so affectionate and soft with his partner, you cannot change my mind. Also he doesn't really mind any mess made, but if his partner does, he does not hesitate to clean up.
Alonzo is always really fucked out and sleepy after sex, but once he catches his breath he immediately gets up to begin cleaning any mess left on his fur. No matter how tired he is, he will make sure any mess is cleaned before sleeping to avoid any uncomfortable stickiness the next morning. Once that is done though, he loves curling up next to his partner and being told what a good boy he is.
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
Tugger doesn't really see much of a point. He has multiple partners so if he gets in the mood, he would rather have sex with one of them rather than take care of it himself. Though he does enjoy watching his partners masturbating in front of him, especially when his name is on their lips as they do so.
Plato used to do it pretty frequently before him and Victoria got together. He still does it on occasion, usually when Victoria is gone and he is missing her.
Alonzo has multiple partners but when the mood strikes and none of them are around, he will take care of it himself. He usually uses a toy for this, and he purposefully leaves the door open/is loud in hopes one of his partners will walk in and see him like that (And hopefully will take over and finish what he started.)
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
Tugger has a laundry list of things that turn him on. He loves making his partners melt in his grasp, so even just hearing them whimper or gasp during make out sessions gets him going. Also, he gets really turned on when his mane is touched or pulled at during sex, and he knows he is doing something right when his partner is a gasping mess and tugging desperately at his mane. Tugger especially loves when his partner is vocal and he uses every trick in his arsenal to have his partners as fucked out and loud as possible.
Plato gets spurred on when his partners are direct with him, telling him exactly what they want him to do. Especially when they are coming from Victoria. He’s also weak when it comes to teasing, having his partners sitting on his lap, kissing and caressing his face and thighs really drives him crazy.
Alonzo has a praise kink the size of the Atlantic Ocean. He loves being told how good his ass, dick or tongue feels. It drives him insane. Alonzo ALSO loves getting called pet names such as “pretty boy,” or “good boy,” whether he’s on top or bottom. 
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
Tugger would fuck his partners all day and night if given the chance. He likes to make his partners cum multiple times before he really allows himself to get close. And trust he can last awhile before he he gets close to the edge. 
Plato doesn’t last that long and usually can only go for 2 or so rounds, so he likes to make his partners cum a few times before he gets a chance in order to make the night last longer. And he is very good at making those two rounds last.
Alonzo cums fairly quickly, especially when he’s really worked up, but his actual refectory period is shorter and he is ready for the next round in a matter of minutes, so sex with him lasts for an ungodly amount of time. 
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haztory · 4 years ago
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hello hello ! first, congratulations on 300 !! and if you are still taking requests, may i request the angst dialouge “Can you look at me? Please?” with nanami ? thank you & keep up the wonderful work !! :)
“Can you look at me? Please?” from my writing event! (come request something)
warnings: angst, only angst
nanami kento x gn reader
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“Tilt your head upwards,” Two fingers prod against your chin, gentle yet firm pressure lifting your face and pressing a wet cloth onto the surface of your cheekbone.
It stings, worse than any regular cut that splits the skin. The wound having been laced and imbued with a cursed poison, the kind that simultaneously numbs and burns the surrounding area. Given only when you were taken off guard, caught too hastily in your preoccupation with the man currently standing in front of you instead of the fight at hand.
A foolish mistake on your part— one you understand the gravity of quite thoroughly, even without the disapproving stares and the extended periods of silence that weigh heavily onto you, imparted by the stoic man and impromptu healer.
Nanami halts his movement, his hand hovering over the injury, and his dark eyes— laced entirely too much with dismay— flicker quickly towards yours, of which you pointedly avoid. 
He waits, silent in his plaguing stare that truthfully discomforts you more than the injury itself; He waits for your sighs of pain to subside, waits for you to meet his gaze. Waits for you to understand that behind the neutrality of his stature and the calmness of his demeanor as he led you back from the mission and into the sanctity of his office at the school, lies a brewing lecture of turmoil and overwhelming disappointment.
You didn’t have to look at him to know that, though.
“Are you alright?” He asks after a minute of heavy silence fills the space of the room. He towers over your seated body, feeling miles away in superiority and physicality despite being right in front of you, his hands touching your face and your knee placed between his open legs. He couldn’t be any closer, not with the rich musk of his cologne swirling around you and the heat of him transferring itself onto you.
And yet, you couldn’t feel further from him. 
“Yeah,” keeping your eyes downturned, you mutter lowly, “‘m fine.”
His hand lowers and with it he drops the rag onto the surface of the table. He sighs, the weight of his stress and the exhaustion from the mission exhaling into the air, settling heavily on top of the already apparent displeasure with the situation. 
With you.
You can only push your head down farther and slink away from the expanse of his body in some feeble effort to minimize the extent of your burden on him, even if you may have had good intentions upon doing so.
If only you hadn’t gotten distracted; If only you remembered that out of the two of you, he was the more qualified sorcerer. There was no need to be so concerned for the likes of his safety, especially not when your own was so intensely threatened in that moment. If only you hadn’t turned your head, yelled his name, pleaded for him to move— 
“(Y/N),” Nanami says, voice soft and silky yet still. Foundational. A pillar that pushes itself into the whirlwind of your thoughts and refuses to budge, forcing you to acknowledge it. To acknowledge him and the depth of the irreparable impression you’ve made on him.
You can hear his words before he even says it, forced to sit with the impeding knowledge of the fate of this conversation and take the daggers of despair that will no doubt pierce every part of your fragile heart as he points out the obvious mistake you made. Droles on about how imperative it is to keep business and feelings separate.
Reminds you of the vow he made upon becoming a sorcerer.
Why couldn’t you have just— 
“Can you look at me?” 
You can’t. 
You can’t have him see that as much as he may be disappointed in you, you are even more so disappointed in yourself. Understanding full and well what your mistake means, even if it is something as simple as a cut on the cheek. You can’t have him see and confirm the large crack that has been made in the solid wall of duty to your occupation that can no longer be reversed. 
If you look at him, if you so much as make eye contact with him, he will know the weakness that you possess, the disadvantage you carry with you into every mission. The sharp Achilles heel that has made itself abundantly clear before the two of you and every cursed spirit that saw you stumble. 
Nanami Kento, in whatever fashion he may exist, has the entirety of your attention in the palm of his hand and the cool swing of his arm. And try as you might devote your focus to any matter at hand, you can never successfully win the battle in keeping him out of your thoughts. 
Nanami Kento is the root of your mistake and the inevitable reason behind your downfall. You’ve known it for far too long, and now, he does too. A prophecy in the making, a tragic tale playing its beginning notes before you that’s too sweet for you to try and end.
But he will. 
He will know of the taint in your commitment to this life, the compromise of your duty and the manner in which he plays an active part in it, and he will remove it in the name of safety. 
Dread fills your stomach.
“Please?” He tries again, quieter this time. 
Soft yet firm, comforting, and wrapped in the linen of silk. Lined with the scent of his musk and coated entirely in a sweet, dripping concoction that refreshed you with one word alone. The sweetest of tones that have your heart accelerating with the single word alone.
You want more, you need more for as long as you can have it. That is your prophecy, the destiny written in the fate of your stars and consolidated by the sharpness of his cheekbones and the gentleness of his touch.
He is error in your duty that you can no longer see as a mistake. You’re not sure you ever saw it as a mistake.
You look up at him, throbbing pain in your cheek no longer felt, instead replaced with the sorrows of his eyes and the slow push of the dagger in your heart. Propelled by him, his hand wrapped around the ornate handle, with your own settled on top of it, guiding its entry, because you have done this to yourself.
You fell in love with someone who could not be loved, who did not want to be loved.
And worst of all, you laid it bare before him when you prioritized his safety over your own. You bear the physical mark of your profession that swirls with draining poison that he gentle tries to patch up. A wound that he tries to heal and leave with no trace of himself in its wake.
His mouth remains closed as you finally meet his gaze, but his eyes tell you everything you need to know.
There’s the furrow in his brow and pity in his stare as he whispers, “You shouldn’t have done that.”
The malice you expected is absent, replaced with a saddened realization of the truth that you both tried so hard to avoid. You find that you would’ve much preferred a furious lecture than whatever this is.
This pathetic rejection on the basis of violated principles and foolish duty; A halting of something that hadn’t even had the chance to begin.
You should feel something, something deep and burning in you pointed desperately at him, for depriving you of the chance of a truthful embrace. But you can only hum, a wry one that punches him in the gut, even when you try to keep it void from all emotion.
“I know.”
He tries to find some consolation in the fact that you at least know that your feelings were meant to die here. He should feel less guilty in the admittance that you never bought into the enticing fantasy of living a domestic life with him, a romantic and fulfilling one in which things could end happily and your jobs weren’t the brutal forces of despair.
He should feel some relief in knowing that you knew as much as him that it was better to leave things unsaid, than to act on them, for then, he could keep you close without having to acknowledge the blurring boundaries.
It doesn’t though. Only leaves him with an aching hollow in his chest and a pain reverberating along his spine.
If only you didn’t know that this love was a tragedy in the making, then maybe he could’ve given you a reason to hate him. He could’ve broken your heart brutally, right here and now, and sleep peacefully at night knowing that you truly believed him to be an insignificant monster that ruined a chance of happiness.
Maybe you could’ve believed him to be an end of a route that would lead to a better future, one that you unabashedly deserved.
But you do know. You’ve carried the truth of that burden alongside him, and you admit it. That’s the worst part.
Nanami sighs again in some effort to exhale the heavy weight that lumps in his throat. It’s futile. His eyes drift, if only to break themselves from your own sorrowful gaze, but much like you, he finds himself inevitably being drawn back—unable to stray from the entrancing state of your eyes.
Unable to stop himself from gazing at the long-awaited happiness he finally found in your irises. The one he longed for.
His hand cups around the back of your neck, bringing your foreheads together and noses bumping gently into one another. The closest he can let you be to him, without breaking his dutiful promise.
He breathes you in shamelessly, memorizes the feel of your skin against his, closes his eyes and imagines that for just a moment, he could have you without restraint in this space. You do the same, soaking in the forbidden lifetime of forever in this brief second. You wish, that in all his empathy and compassion for those around him—that in his exorbitant effort to minimize the extent of the damage his eventual death will amass—he will give you just a minute more; Just a second more to keep him close.
Reality is never that kind.
He pulls away, stray strands of blonde falling in front of his forehead that he hardly minds as he picks the rag up once more and places it in your hand.
“Keep this on the wound. I’ll go find the first-aid.”
He turns, quick in his motion and set in his path as he makes his way to the door. Leaving you and the air of lost infinite possibilities behind. He opens it, and just as he is about to step out, he pauses.
“After tonight I will put in my request for reassignment. I’ll make sure they pair you with someone capable. And from now on, it would be best to distance ourselves. We should avoid making a mistake of this kind again.”
And then he leaves, shutting the door quietly behind him, no room for argument in the bluntness of his words. No room for interpretation. Not even a brief hesitation as he confirmed that his vow of loneliness would trump any attempt of momentary happiness he could have found with you.
A statement, strict and concise, affirming what you already knew. You could love Nanami Kento all you wanted, and you could hope and plead desperately that he would love you too, but in the end, all that would be left was the fruits of your mistake.
No.
Not a mistake.
Only a love that was lost before it could even be found.
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a/n: apparently the only thing I know how to write for nanami is angst. hope you enjoyed this one anon!!! feel free to request more!! and thank you for the congrats!!
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spookysmujer · 4 years ago
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Peaches, O. Diaz
Summary: Oscar and Y/N spend a pleasurable night together.
warnings:  s m u t 🥵 18+. public s e x, unprotected s e x 
word count: 2.3k
A/N: Fina-fkn-ly I have written Oscar smut! You would think with this blog dedicated around him that I would have done so already. Who doesn’t like the Santos party + sex? I am not @youare-mysonshine​, who has the best damn Oscar smut on this site, I am but her apprentice, LOL. Enjoy! And please don’t forget to follow, heart, comment, reblog and turn on those notifs for when I post something new. Lots of love!! Thank you for +800 followers!
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(gif credit goes to @merakiaes 🦋)
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“So it took your brother being shot for you to come around?”
You hear from behind you, as you swivel in your spot there is the man of the hour. Spooky is celebrating his 25th birthday and a victory in showing Prophet$ what’s good with last nights showdown.
A small smile forms on your lips as you briefly look away from him to avoid the red hue on your cheeks worsening. Oscar definitely has a way with women, it doesn’t take much for him to have the ladies swooning, or on their knees. And it’s no secret he prefers the latter. 
“Yeah, it’s definitely not for the reason of you make it to half a century”. He now stands in front of you, one hand in his pocket as the other holds his beer close to him. It’s a moment of silence, him looking down at you and you up at him.
When your brother, known as Joker, begged you to come home for a weekend you were hesitant too. And with how things went down, you were right to be. Shit had gone down on Santos turf resulting in your brother getting hit but nothing compared to what the Prophet$ got handed back to them. And all in the weekend that Oscar’s birthday bash is happening too.
“Good, I was hoping that was the reason. ‘Ridge been boring without you around. How’s life been up in Bakersfield?” He asks you as you two begin a small walk around the house to a quieter setting.
You shrug as you kick gravel around, “As good as you can guess. But my business degree is being put to use. So not long til I can repay for you the loan you gave my brother for me. Promise.”
He shakes his head after taking a swig of beef, his mouth pressed together tightly, lips licking the remaining that lingered. Damn. “Nah, don’t worry ‘bout it. Whenever you can.”
A small laugh from you, “People are gonna think you got a soft spot for me doing that kind of shit.”
“Let um think that they want. They wouldn’t be wrong.” He keeps his line of sight  in front of him as you look to him. You both lean against his impala as the soft moonlight reflects of the shiny paint of the red car.
After staring at him for a moment, you look away as he takes his turn at looking at you, his eyes burn into you as you clear your throat, “Careful.”
“What?” He grins at you with his signature grin.
You can feel your cheeks burn hotter by the second. And you also know that Oscar knows what he is doing, you’ve seen him do it to other girls.That look that seals the deal and then he is leading them into house. Probably notable that most of those girls plan on getting in bed with him from the moment they arrive. 
“That. You know what you’re doing and I am not like all them girls that you’ve banged in there.” You point to the house as you take a swig of your half empty beer. Oscar audibly laughs as he pushes himself off car.
He downs the last of his beer and tosses it to the trashcan across the way. You watch it as he moves to stand in front of you. This makes you correct your posture as he moves in even closer, lessening the open space between the two of you.
Oscar licks his lips, ever so slowly. He wipes his mouth of any remaining alcohol and places his hands on the car, each on the side of you, “That’s what I like about you. That you aren’t like them. You don’t come around here in hopes of some action. And if I’m being honest? That shit is attractive to me, knowin’ I gotta get you.” 
“Get me? You’re real smooth, y’know?” You scan his face, eyes staring into his as he grins, leaning in til you feel his breath his your lips. 
But the truth is, he is smooth. “Mmm.” He hum as he closes that space and your lips are on his. The chaste kiss is held for a moment before you both start to kiss each other, open mouth and quickly are your tongues dancing.
“Yo, Spooky finally gon hit Joker’s fine ass sister!”
You hear loudly, pulling back and turning around to see one of the Santos standing near the house. You groan as you flip him off and cover your face with your hands, “So get the fuck away, foo.” Oscar says with a hint of annoyance in his voice.
The Santo laughs backing away with his hands up in defense. Though partially embarrassed, you can’t help but laugh. Oscar’s hands rest on your hips, rubbing gently and pulling you back to lean against his body. He doesn’t say anything else, placing a kiss on your bare shoulder. Trailing kisses til he reaches your neck where you know there will be markings the next day.
Oscar’s hands feel your body, rising up your torso to cup your breasts. All of it, leaning against him, his hands, the kisses... it’s all too much to not react so when you moan, he laughs and kisses your neck more. One of his hands leave your body and pulls your face to the left and his lips meet yours.
While you two kiss you grab his other hand, bravely pushing down towards your heat. He doesn’t waste anytime and slips his hand in your shorts feeling you over you underwear, your body feeling weak when he massages your sensitive bud.
“W-we gotta go inside.” You mumble against lips and you feel him smile, his hand in your pants dipping lower to spread your arousal, earning more moans. “Nah, mami. Just relax, those foos not gonna come out here again.”
That’s when he releases you and steps back, you pout at the absence of his touch. You turn around as he grabs the waistband of your jean shorts and swiftly pulls them down to your knees, you gasp loudly trying to reach down to pull them back up, “Are you crazy? I’m not gonna fuck you out here. I don’t care if your homies won’t come back here, you have neighbors and I’m woman enough for you to take me inside!” 
He only laughs, picking you up to sit on the car, the cool metal making you squirm, “No one can see us, just trust me. I ain’t tryna fuck you out here, just curious.” Oscar unbuttons his flannel and pulls it off, balling it up and putting it behind you, pushing you back to lay your head on it as a pillow. He swiftly pulls off your shorts and spreads your legs, his finger hooking your panties to the side, “Oh my god, I cannot believe you are gonn-”
His tongue against your clit shut you up quickly. It causes your breath to hitch and words lost as he licks more swipes against your heat. He tortures you with the way he does it slowly, but the sensation feels like bliss, “Sweet as peaches, mamas.”
You feel relaxed, letting your legs rest comfortably over his shoulders. His lips covering your entire cunt now, tongue swirling on your clit and then dipping down into your entrance. And when he pulls back then back down to suck on your swollen bud like sweet nectar, your back arches. And you’ve had guys go down on your before, but something about the way he does it. He doesn’t shove his fingers in like you are use to having and it makes the moment more enjoyable.
“What no extra pleasure with your fingers? Fuck.” You squeeze your breast together, eyes closed. Thanking sweet baby Jesus in heaven! “You gonna tell me how to pleasure you? I know what I’m doing. Shhh.” 
He bites the inside of your thigh, a moan let out a little too loud. You cover your mouth with your hand. You sit up on your elbows to watch him work his way to your release but the darkness makes it hard to see much, “Take me inside.”
Oscar licks your cunt once more before leaning up to kiss you, your arousal on his tongue and lips, “Ever taste yourself before, hm?” He kisses you more not letting you answer.
“Hm, yeah. I’ve tasted other girls too, but you’re right, mine is sweet like peaches.” You whisper as you peck his lips then looking into his eyes, his mouth slightly agape at your confession. You’re smirking as your hands move under his tank to feel his skin.
He doesn’t say anything as he collects your shorts and his flannel, picking you up and placing you on his shoulder, your ass cheeks bare in just your lace thong. “Oh my gosh, Oscar!”
Oscar smacks your ass he walks to the two of you into his house. You won’t lie to yourself that you’ve fantasized about getting into bed with him. The guy is not just beautiful being but sexy as fuck as well and he knows it too.
He drops you on his bed and rids himself of his tank, you doing the same. He climbs onto the bed and hovers over you, you wrapping your legs over his hips pulling his face down to kiss you. No more slow moving, no more games. It’s freaky business NOW.
You reach your hand between the two of you to feel him through his pants. And he does not disappoint in his size. You unbuckle his annoyingly long belt, finally getting it free for you to unbutton his jeans. You move your hand inside and wrap your hand on his semi-hardened member, stroking it entirely. He groans into your mouth as you do so. 
“I’m wet and you’re hard, com’n.”
 He stops kissing you and reaches between the two of you to take your hand out of his pants. He shimmies out of it and sits up to remove your panties. And with your demand to hurry, he spits on your mound and smears it around before guiding himself in.
The slight burn passes quickly as the pleasurable sensation hits you soon after. You bite your lip as Oscar stands at the foot of the bed, moving your legs up to rest against him. He starts slowly for the two of you to get familiar with the feeling of each other.
You arch your back to reach under to unclasp your bra. He marvels at your tits as you kneed them, looking at him in the eyes with lust, “Show me how Spooky fucks, Papi.” The sultry way you say his street name makes him hold your legs against him tighter.
And he pushes himself into you as deep as he can possibly go and out just as fast, hitting your cervix and creating a pleasurable pain that you’ve not experienced before. His hips like a piston, drilling you into his bed so much so that you’re sure there’ll be a indentation when he is done with you.
“Oh. shiiii, mhm.” You moan out, gripping the sheet on the sides of you, biting down on your lip to suppress the moan that is threatening to escape. His low moans isn’t helping you either, you can’t hold it in.
This only makes Oscar grin when you moan out loud and he loves it. “Hm, louder, bebecita. Let them hear how good Spooky fucks you.”
His voice when pleasuring you is an entirely different thing, it added to the already overload of goodness you are receiving from him. Oscar, or Spooky you should say, pushes your legs apart so that he can climb on top of you, him still inside you as you scoot closer to the headboard. Once your head is on the pillows, you rest your legs wider to give him the adequate space he’ll need for a good pounding.
Once his hands grip the headboard, it is game over for you. He is angling his hips to hit spots you never knew you had, deep and slow for one moment and then at speed lighting the next. With the different speeds it leads you feeling the building sensation. It saddened you that you are reaching your peak so quick.
“I-I’m gonna cum.” You tell him and he releases the headboard, sliding his hands underneath you, gripping the flesh of your ass. It confuses you for moment, as he snuggles his face into your neck. But when he begins to drill you into oblivion, you gasp loudly. His low grunts into your ear, his hot breath harshly hitting the side of your neck.
Skin slapping and animalistic groans. Oscar can feel how close you are, your walls squeezing him like a vice, “Fuck, cum. I’m about to.” He mumbles.
As if his wish is your body’s command, the feeling hits you harshly. You clench onto him, your arms hooking under his and nails digging into his back, “Oh! oh! Yes, fuck yes!” The orgasm hits you harder than you expect.
Oscar groans once more before pushing himself up and grabbing himself, pumping his length only for a short moment when his seed spurts onto your slick with sweat torso. His eyes close and head tipped back, “Fuck.”
Still lost in a haze you release a deep breath, maneuvering yourself to get a taste of him. From the source. You take his entire length in his mouth, the after sex sensitivity hitting him, he flinches but watches you swallow him whole.
“Hm, I gotta get you to cum in my mouth next time, hm?” You sit up on your knees and he backs off the bed, handing you a towel to wipe yourself clean, he only laughs.
“Nena, who says we’re done here?”
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